The Golden Hour - Episode 79: Dark World Of Wisconsin
Episode Date: July 24, 2020Theo and Brendan do an On-Air Taste Test of Chef Pel's Smokin Lacey's BBQ and talk Theo's Bun Theory, Brendan's Blueberry Ribs, Dinosaurs TV Show, Al Bundy, Nick's Violent Wiscons...in Weekend and Wedding Day KO, Eyeball Tats, An All New "Shoot Your Shot" Segment, Rumspringa, First Date Dinner Ideas, Girls Slapping Geoducks and much more!Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/katsHelloFresh - https://hellofresh.com/80kats use code: 80KATSMyBookie - https://mybookie.ag/ promo code: KATSHims - https://forhims.com/katsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Do you think you take somebody to a family event or something like that on a first date?
Not for the first one.
Really?
See, that's the kind of shit I do.
That's why I'm laughing.
That's some shit, Theodore.
What was your first date?
Oh, you took me to this family reunion.
Back off my broccolini.
Get your life together.
It is
Don't touch me bro
I'm not touching you dude
That's it man
Up and at em
We up here
We up in this biatch
We up in this biatch
We up in this biatch
With sticky fingers
Dude
Sticky fingers
If I was a rapper
My name would be
Sticky fingers
What?
First of all
You're not a rapper
And your name is
Sticky fingers
Is it?
Up the streets?
Probably from touching your own butt, probably.
Dude, I'm cracking into this Chef Pales, man.
Now tell me about this, man.
That's ribs, that's a link, and that's sauce.
Oh, wow.
There's a lot of explanation I got for that.
And is this sauce, this is that homemade hit?
Homemade hit.
This is that.
Now listen, Chappelle was up all night. Do not get the microphones all sticky, Brendan.
Yeah, that's right.
What's my mic, though?
Huh?
It's my mic, dog.
Good call, you're right.
There you go.
But here's the thing.
You going to deep throat that dog for us?
Huh?
No, I'm not.
Why do you keep saying that?
You've been talking all that shit.
I can deep throat this dog.
Yeah, I'm talking about, oh, wait till you see me take this thing down, dog.
Dude, dude.
What?
I was like, all right, dude.
I don't care, bro.
Dude, you look like.
You ever taken a foot long Dodger dog and just.
All right, dog.
Nah, bro.
You being.
I also care.
Take it easy, bro.
You being gay, bro.
You being wildly gay right now, dude dude it's this barbecue got me feeling
right you was feeling sweet when i met you i put that little sugar in the tank you put
some sweet barbecue sauce around me dude dude you look like joey best nuts dude
how many of these franks you're gonna swallow, huh? I can't believe you pulled it together, Chappelle.
Come on, man.
Y'all can't call me out.
He has a logo now and shit.
Yeah.
This is some legit shit, man.
Now, when it comes to barbecue, I don't want to say I have my master's degree in it, but
it's not there, bro.
You're dressed like the top valet, bro, ever.
That's what you're dressed like.
The top valet.
Yeah, man.
Just park it, bro don't park it wherever i'll get it you know everybody has that friend that thinks yeah just park it dog park it across town i'll get
it everybody has that valet friend that thinks they're like the best valet oh damn look at that
logo babe wow They got your little
gap and everything. Yeah. I'm proud of that.
It's really coming together.
Yeah. See, isn't it different now? He seems a little bit
more like a businessman, dude.
Y'all bullied me into this
shit. Bully?
You in the business, dog.
It's like Shark Tank, dog.
He just went out of order. He got chained
first, and then he started to make money.
Usually it's the other way around.
Correct.
Now tell us about the sauce, man.
It's a sweet hickory taste to it.
What's the sauce called?
Have you given names yet, or do you want us to do that too?
I'd rather y'all do that.
Y'all come up with great names.
How's that Frank on them lips, Doug?
The lips miss them frank i don't
i don't why do you why do you keep bringing up gay things why is it i'm talking about a frank
you're trying to be talking about your buddy in new orleans either
you're trying to be adult gay bro
he's just trying to eat barbecue
you are man now i got now i got it now i got a gay barbecue business He's just trying to eat barbecue. You are, man.
Now I got a gay barbecue business.
I've seen this trick from every agent in this town, bro.
Money's money, dog.
Money's money.
Gays are welcome.
Like Jordan said, even Republicans buy shoes, dog.
Pick a side.
Dude, what I'm saying is this, man.
That's why I have the bun is there so your lips don't have to touch the meat, bro.
My grandfather told me that.
You're a wise man.
Wise, wise man.
That shit is fantastic.
Like I said, before we came here, I haven't eaten today.
You're a goddamn barbecue angel, man.
Yeah, I'm trying.
Now, you got some tips?
What's up, man?
That's some of the best ribs I've had, man. Again, I'm trying. Now, you got some tips? What's up, man? That's some of the best ribs I've had, man.
Again, I am a barbecue connoisseur.
Yeah.
You name a barbecue joint, your boy's been to it.
On the road?
Where's the best?
That makes you kind of thick, bro.
That's all you need.
No, there's no doubt about that.
Hey, don't trust a skinny chef.
That's rule number one.
It's always like, oh, I'm a Carl's Jr. connoisseur, dude.
No, you're an Uber driver,
dude.
Okay.
But let's go, connoisseur.
Let's hear it. Tell us what you know.
Give us a review of this basic meat.
My boy's at Truth Barbecue. Shout out to Truth Barbecue.
Where that at? Houston, Doug.
Oh, I need to go down there.
Go to the motherland. I go in the back. They got the smokers. I get the ins and outs of Houston, Doug. Oh, I need to go down there. Get like, you know, go to like the motherland.
I go in the back.
They got the smokers.
I get the ins and outs of it, Doug.
Yeah.
You got to run a big production here.
You get a smoking lacy food truck.
You got me and Theo slanging.
Theo slanging them.
Oh, suddenly you're not slanging them now.
Immediately it's just me.
Oh, no, no.
You heard that, though?
You got me and Theo slanging.
No, you're slanging just the brats or whatever the fuck that is.
I'm slinging the ribs and the tri-tip.
And Kat, what about you?
I will be bringing my feet.
Her feet's hanging out the window.
Dessert bar.
I'm going to pretend like I'm eating a rib or a hot dog, but never actually take a bite.
Like a glorified mannequin.
Kat's the model of all your food.
New rib, coming out Tuesday. Yeah. Holding a glorified mannequin. Cat's the model of all your food. New rib coming out Tuesday.
Yeah.
Holding it with their feet.
Oh.
Yes.
Holding it with their feet.
Wow.
Bro, now they should have.
I would love to see home with a jalapeno rib or something where they have ribs that are
different.
Because usually ribs is just like a basic kind of rib with the sauce.
It's usually a pork rib.
You're saying you want a little kind of hors d'oeuvre on top of of that you want a little like jalapeno like a full blueberry on that bitch
or yeah blueberry rib like if they did blueberry sauce well unless you guys aren't listening that's
what's going on you hear me you guys do not listen man because i'm trying to say stuff
you just keep telling me stuff okay go you know ready set, set, go. Okay, tag. I'm like, well, what I'm saying is, you're like, oh, it's like a
like a truck.
You're like, no. What I'm telling you,
I'm trying to say, what I'm thinking is,
you're like, oh, man, you should go to
community college.
It's like, no. No, I don't think you should go there.
I'm not taking advice from you. No, I didn't say that.
I would never encourage you
to go to community college. I'm not taking advice from you
brain mules.
Okay?
I'm trying to just keep it classy here, man.
What I was saying was,
it would be neat if you did ribs like they do wings and made them,
oh, we got this teriyaki stack right here.
We got Chef Pell's, you know,
Hidden Garden, you know, wings or whatever.
Hidden Garden wings.
Terrible idea.
Hidden Garden wings. Terrible idea. Hidden garden wings.
He yelled at us just to listen to that.
Our idea was way better.
Get a blueberry spicy
barbecue sauce. Put some
jalapenos on that full rack of baby back
ribs. Look, I hear you guys, but what I'm asking
you is, where's my Ford Fusion?
That's what I want to know.
All I've been waiting for
is my four ten minutes you said you got me yeah and you and your buddy who i don't even know
trying to sell me some type of meat program shout out to todd dorham man wow this this rib is very
good though man fantastic it really is man you It really is, man. You made this?
Yeah.
Wow.
Well, with help.
I've been learning a lot.
Oh, it's good, man.
Yeah.
I got to start somewhere.
I see a whole show.
He tours.
He gets a food truck.
He goes city to city, performs comedy, tries their local sauce,
finds his flavor, and it's off to the races.
Bro.
Who am I, Guy Fieri? We do live King of the Stings.
Me and Theo start touring together.
You got a fucking food truck out front.
Just think of the numbers.
Thighs Fieri, that's your name.
Thighs Fieri.
Starring Thighs Fieri.
Boom, and just show those jacks.
Taking a backflip town.
This meat will get that kick and then you just rattle off to backflip town This meat will get that kick
And then you just rattle off 70 backflips in a row
And each meat, each sauce
Has a certain number of backflips in it
That's how much kick it has
That's how I judge the spice
With backflips
I really think we got something here
This will make you do 15 backflips
This shit will take you back in time
This is that Marty McFly.
And I need a second one because I know Chef Pal is smoking what it's called.
But anyways, I love away sauce.
Away sauce, I know.
You need a second flavor.
You can do that.
Well, you've got to have multiple sauces.
So I've got to have multiple sauces?
You have to.
You need a mustard-based sauce.
Okay.
You know, you can have the thicker sauce, more of a Kansas City rub.
Yeah.
You need that drizzle, that South Carolina drizzle.
Yep.
You need that thick honey.
That's so much.
And where's your favorite place?
Well, there's a few, but my all-time favorite is Truth Barbecue or Brothers Barbecue in Denver.
Mmm.
Brothers in Denver, Truth Barbecue in Houston.
There's a few, man.
So that's the motherland.
Truth Barbecue is probably the motherland yeah okay that's where I need
to go learn
you gotta
if you want barbecue
the best barbecue is in Texas
people tell you Kansas City
they're full of shit
I have had great barbecue
in St. Louis though
ooh
how's it in Louisiana
something caught me in there bro
oh you good
are you alright
a little spicy
something fucking hit me bro
mystery that mystery meat that shit's got Sherlock Holmes a little spicy something fucking hit me bro mystery
that mystery meat
that shit's got
Sherlock Holmes
in my freaking brain
you know what
we gotta work on though
chef
is the
oh I'll tell you guys
we have to work on that
besides
it's communication really
yeah communication
is key
to be honest
whoo
boy
I'm glad you had it.
Thank you, guys.
Yeah, man, this stuff is good.
Thank you.
So how's the actual recipe for the sauce coming along?
I'm not telling anyone that.
You're not telling anybody yet?
Yeah, you can't tell anyone that.
Don't let Masterpiece come along and take this shit, bro.
Can't do that.
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Oh, damn, boy.
You knew it, daddy.
We'd be making the same stuff, brother.
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Oh, you're right.
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Oh, you know it.
Quit ordering food all the time to the crib, man.
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I love that you were in a baseball jersey.
Today's the first day of MLB, son.
Hey, man, shout out Major League Baseball coming back.
I wish they incorporated a little UFC into Major League Baseball.
Like when you got to second base, you had to fight to third.
Interesting.
You got a lot of good ideas today, man.
Thanks, man.
Great ideas.
It's the sauce, man.
It gives you, yeah yeah that's what it does
it gives you good ideas it's like smart water you know they say you drink smart water and then it's
like you drizzle red bull gives you wings oh red bull yeah if y'all don't want some mints you know
oh yeah okay i beat covid yeah dude you think i'm in the bathroom at a nightclub all of a sudden, dude? Fucking tighten up, dog.
He doesn't really want to get ice chilled outside.
No, he doesn't.
Yeah, what's that supposed to mean?
Yeah, what are you saying, bro?
You're out of your mind, dude.
Okay, no.
Wow.
No one likes mints?
All right.
I don't like mints with my coffee.
I don't like mints with Diet Coke.
Okay, all right.
I could use a toothpick, though. I don't't like mints with Diet Coke. Okay. All right. I could use a toothpick, though.
I don't have that.
Damn, we need toothpicks.
All right.
I'm telling you, Chappelle, the big thing, we need to work on sides.
Sides?
That's a big thing.
Dude, he just got a sauce in, and now we need to make him a sauce.
We got to push him, dude.
Look how far he's come.
This is fantastic.
I agree, man.
We got the logo.
We got merch.
Bro, I'll tell you what you could do too
no lie and i posted two of them on my instagram wall i ran into four rattlesnakes today did you
oh i saw one hopping dude this one was big and you see you bro one of them wasn't that big one was small and i said it was a baby the other one was thick and he's going across that that first
nope that was just that one that's that across that first. Nope. Just that one.
That's that fattlesnake, bro.
Yeah, dude.
That's that dirt serpent.
Yep.
That's that danger noodle.
That dude will steal your freaking little cousin, bro.
Yep.
That's that poisonous earthworm, Jim.
That's a fucking rattlesnake.
A big ass rattlesnake.
Dang.
I'm not close to it.
Dude, that's Wyatt Earp.
He's a cool blue.
That's that Wyatt Earp one.
Whoa. I did say that twice, yeah. Some girl's. He's a cool blue. That's that Wyatt Earp one. Whoa.
I did say that twice, yeah.
Some girl's jogging.
I caught it.
Some girl's jogging, and I'm like this.
Oh, that'll bite him.
She got to run right into him.
No problem.
I'm like this.
That's how bitches go missing right there.
Yeah, she thought I was hitting on her.
She thought I was hitting on her.
She goes, what?
I go, you don't see this giant rattlesnake?
You shouldn't help.
I don't want to see her get bit.
That's Darwin, bro.
Yeah, you're right.
That's Darwin.
He's stepping in God's way.
Everybody's doing all this stuff, stepping in God's way.
You're right.
God was like, dude, you're fucking the flow up, dude.
Yeah.
God's like, some fucking.
We need less Instagram thought.
Some rib addict is up here.
Rib addict.
I'm trying to collect some bitches, you know.
I'm laying out a couple snakes, you know, a couple thought traps.
That's fair.
And I'm fucking it up.
This guy's like, hey, hey, hey, pull him over, missy.
I was trying to help her out.
You got a little rattler right there.
No, it wasn't little.
And she goes, oh, they're harmless.
I was like, all right.
All right.
That's what she did.
She went, they're harmless.
And she goes, thank you, though.
You can hear it in the video.
She goes, thank you, though.
I go, harmless.
Harmless. Harmless.
Have you seen Stephanie?
Stephanie Harper disappeared.
July, mid-July, right before baseball season.
Dude, you still rocking those pants?
Huh?
Oh, yeah, I got these space trousers on, dude.
Space trousers.
Look at them pants. See see colorful pants make your ass pop
covid cakes you got the saturn the galaxies i got the moons and that now it's that saturn
but man yeah what do you think so what would you give this the the meal experience
Man, yeah.
So what would you give the meal experience, Brendan?
It was fantastic.
It was unexpected, too.
Man, the ribs are good.
Yeah, they're good.
I'd give it a 9.5 out of 10.
All right.
There we go. I'd say Truth Barbecue's a 10.
Yeah.
Look, quit.
We don't know Truth Barbecue.
And that place could have gone out of business.
A lot of businesses aren't even open.
No, no, no.
Sounds like I've never heard of it.
I'll take it.
We can't be eating the dogs like that, man.
How else would you eat them?
I usually eat them from the side.
If my dad was alive, if I'm eating with a senior man, I eat them from the side.
Because that's respectful, you know?
Yeah.
One time at the Rockies game, I don't know what they call the hot dogs there.
Basically, they're Dodger dogs.
Name dropping also.
Go on.
They gave out free coupons for hot dogs.
Yeah.
And I was the thick kid, so everyone gave me their coupons.
I must have ate 14 hot dogs.
Wow.
And I threw up everywhere.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
We're in the nosebleed section, too.
Go Rockies.
That's America, dude.
14 hot dogs?
That's living, dude.
Mm-hmm.
I feel sick.
Getting gassed up, up baby I love it
Oh dinger that's the Rockies mascot and ding dinger he's probably the lamest
mascot in the league was a purple dinosaur really yeah you know you read
that that show dinosaurs went not the mama not really it looks like that
doesn't really did you ever done it did you ever mascot anywhere? No. No. That's our mascot.
That's why the Rockies suck.
Dinger.
Looks friendly, though.
That's a cute little...
You are right, though.
It does look like that.
It's just weak.
It looks like the mom.
No, that's the baby.
He doesn't look like him.
That baby was cold-blooded.
Yeah, baby was cold-blooded.
That baby was an asshole, dude.
Yeah.
Well, to the dad.
That's right. Not the mom. Look how the baby looked, dude. Well, to the dad. That's right.
Not the mom.
Look how the baby looked, bro.
If I looked like that baby, I'd freaking be a straight D to everybody.
If I'd just come out of a penis and still look like one dog.
Oh, no, I guess he looks more like your dad.
I'd be calling the cops.
His dad looks like shit also.
The sister.
The sister.
The sister.
That's right.
Dude, that show was on fucking primetime ABC.
Dinosaurs.
1991.
There we go.
It only did two seasons, I think.
Maybe one.
Oh, I love that show.
Same.
It only did two seasons?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, I thought it was a whole series.
I'm lucky they got one.
You know what I'm saying?
It's on primetime ABC.
It was a good show.
Fucking dinosaurs.
Was it good, though?
It was all like...
I'd have to watch it now.
Remember the dad would come in
with the big pail from work?
Dude, all it was was
flintstones dressed as dinosaurs.
Or Roseanne.
There you go.
Because Dan had a flannel
and the dinosaur dad had a flannel.
You're right.
And they had like real problems.
He got like fired from his job.
They're all stressed about money and they're dying.
Everybody has problems.
It was weird.
I was like, what is happening?
The sister had to get an abortion.
I'm like, what the fuck?
These are dinosaurs, dude.
It's socialism.
It's a triceratops.
The sister was all bougie and shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She wanted like the new shoes and stuff.
The dad was complaining.
They tried to be like married with children,
but they didn't have the pomp.
They didn't have that.
They didn't have that Al Bundy.
Yeah, no one could relate to them because they're dinosaurs.
The dad was kind of soft.
That was thick.
Al Bundy was a gangster.
Al Bundy was a straight savage, bro.
Al Bundy couldn't make that show today.
Al Bundy was a raging sexist.
Remember?
Yeah, I mean, look, he tried to do his best, dude.
He had two dumb
children. Oh, God.
They were so... And his wife, Peggy, was
no fucking Elon Musk either.
Oh, I don't know. Yeah, that's true. Peggy was a dumb
ass, too. Peggy was a dumb ass.
She was a nickel, though. And then all he would talk
about is high school football at
Polk High. Yeah.
And he sold women's shoes. Hell yeah.
Dude was a legend. Yeah, i got in the right bud i think
he died yeah did bud die no he's not dead y'all think jayman man i know him he's a nice guy what's
he do he has a show on uh what is it called radio he does like a he does like a radio show would you
run into about a retreat or something um where'd i run into him? No, I think it was like an IHOP or something.
That makes sense.
But I did his show one time.
What is it called?
Stitch?
No.
Will you look up his show real fast?
There it is.
A Test of Courage?
No.
David Faustino.
I know him as Bud.
Yeah, I mean, that was that famous character.
And there were the bougie neighbors.
I think it was Christine and the other bougie neighbor
would come over.
They always had money.
The lesbians.
Yeah.
And then both of them had lesbian haircut.
Remember?
Did you watch any of this, Kat, growing up or no?
Nope.
I'm a little too young for this.
Way too young.
Damn.
Love and marriage, love and marriage
goes together like a horse in carriage.
This, I tell you, brother.
You can't have one without the other.
Is that Chin singing as well?
Yeah, that's Chin.
Where is Chin?
Where is Chin?
Oh, you guys can't see him.
Damn.
We got to make sure that.
Good to be with you guys again.
I mean, I guess.
Can you see him?
So nice.
Yeah, kind of.
Why did we even bring him in?
I don't know.
Why would he come in and go all the way back there?
Just being safe.
He writes the description of the episode.
Have to be here.
I got a lot going on back here.
We need him.
Dang, Chin.
You are bandaged up, huh?
Just a tad bit.
Wow.
You look like that guy who died when he was skiing downhill.
Remember that guy?
Oh, Bono?
Yeah.
Sonny Bono. Bono. Yeah. From Oh, Bono? Yeah. Sonny Bono.
Bono, man.
From U2.
You're right.
He wasn't from U2.
He was Cher's husband.
Oh, he was?
Oh, God. If I were Cher's husband, I'd take my own life as well.
Ed O'Neill, legit black belt.
The man is very passionate about jiu-jitsu, Al Bundy.
Black belt from Helio Gracie.
He rolled at the Gracie campus.
Really?
Yeah.
Wow.
He announces like jiu-jitsu tournaments and shit?
Yeah, we had him on Fire and the Kid years ago.
We had him on Fire and the Kid.
Dang.
Really?
And I booked him because Henner Gracie and him are really close
because he's like best friends with their dad.
Wow.
Yeah, he was cool, man.
Ed O'Neill, legend.
And he was like a legit football player too. Wow. Yeah, he was cool, man. Ed O'Neill legend. And he was like a legit football player too.
Legend.
Dude, how about he went
from that to Modern Family?
There he is right there.
Oh, dude, yeah,
he was on Modern Family.
He went from TFA2K
to frickin' Modern Family.
Dude, think about this.
He went married with children,
fighting the kid,
Modern Family.
Just all hitters.
He's just got the arc,
you know,
right in the middle.
Look how young you guys are on there, dude.
Dang.
Those were the Fox days.
Brian with his OG lids.
I know.
Yeah, those original hangers, huh?
Hey, was that Ed O'Neill, Freddy Krueger?
No.
Not stupid.
I think the only movie Ed O'Neill did, he did this movie called Dutch.
Yeah, I saw Dutch.
It was good.
Dutch is good.
Is he not the Freddy Krueger guy?
No.
Nope.
Do we know the Freddy Krueger guy?
We'll find out.
I think it's Charlton.
Dude, Nightmare on Elm Street?
That shit used to scare me when I was a kid.
Nightmare on Elm Street scared you?
Don't fall asleep, son.
Wimp, bro.
Yeah.
Dude, we had real killers in our neighborhood, bro.
That scared me, dude.
This guy named frickin' Dwayne that would throw shit through the window in the middle
of the night.
And then kill you?
Huh?
You'd throw it and then kill?
No, but even if he doesn't come in and kill you, it's just as bad.
Because you're just laying there.
It's humid as fuck now because all the humidity's coming in.
Can't go outside and alligator's everywhere.
Yeah, and you just know that he's out there. Then the humidity is coming in. Yeah, you just know that
he's out there.
New Orleans is a real problem.
That's Jason, bro.
You said, oh, Freddy Krueger.
My bad. His name is Robert
England. How many people have
That's why we brought him. There we go. Chin comes in.
On his last episode
on a very special
From downtown!
On a very special From downtown! On a very special
episode of All Time.
Wow, Chin makes it in.
Does that not look like fucking
Ed O'Neill a little bit?
Dude, who cares? Your friend is dying in the third room here.
No, he's fine.
I'm fine.
You talking about the COVID ninja back there?
Yeah.
Why did we bring him?
I don't know.
He wanted to come.
Hey.
He's fine.
I respect that, man.
Thank you for coming in.
You're welcome.
You know what, man?
Yeah.
I think we should all kiss him at the end of this, dude.
No homo either, bro.
All homo.
Chin looks like he's about to record a confessional for gangland.
Yeah, he does.
That's why I'm here.
And they fuck with his voice. Yeah. That's why I'm here. And they fuck with his voice.
Yeah.
That's why I'm here.
Those guys, they always make it seem so much scarier than it really is.
Yeah.
You ever watch Gangland?
Oh, man.
Oh, it's great.
Is it?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's good.
Damn.
The voices are always kind of...
It's all you can hear.
Then you fuck with this, you die.
Yeah.
Seriously. That's the rule.
You fuck with us, you die.
You're like, that doesn't even fit the voice, you know?
All right, well.
We're going to shoot you down, motherfucker.
Like, damn, what?
And it's like a little guy in a wheelchair who can't even talk.
Well, they just want to scare the fuck out of you.
Why don't they do different voices?
Why do they make them all sound so dark and deep?
Dude, the worst is when they get some kid in there and they're like,
we're going to scare you, boy.
Oh, scare straight?
I love scare straight.
But why don't they do it with gay kids?
That's what I'm saying.
I feel you.
I feel you.
I think they kind of do
I think it might
I like when the kid's hard
and they're like you're gonna end up in there
and he's like well I love it here
alright man and they move on to the next kid
dude did you see the part where the dude
made the kid comb his chest hair
no you never seen that clip
he said comb my hair
and the dude was like
he was like a racist uh
white kid and this big black dude was like punking him and then he's like take this comb
comb my chest hair and then the kid was like you never seen that clip oh bro they scared the fuck
out of these kids though man work in the salon right there. He made that kid comb his hair.
That's wild.
And their go-to is like, I'll make you my bitch, man.
You're going to be my girl.
And then you say it when he's like, hold my pocket.
Hold my pocket.
Hold my pocket.
Oh, damn.
Yeah.
Holy shit, man.
Holy fuck.
The fact that Brendan said, oh, damn.
Let me get him, man. Let fuck. The fact that Brendan said, oh, damn.
Let me get a piece of you.
You think you a tough right, huh?
Taste my damn shoelaces.
They call me Hustle Man.
You find the gay one?
Man, suck my dick.
I'm the big dog.
I'm gonna set the ass straight.
Oh, you trying to touch my ass at the movies like you you go Give it to him! That's what my pussy is! I wish you don't do it!
You're a pussy!
I'm sorry.
You're sorry, phone.
Gratitude!
There's always a gangster one.
Uh oh.
Grab!
There's always one who knows the TV show.
Gratitude!
Watch out, man.
Gratitude!
There's always one who's like, you're not gonna do shit.
You're right.
That guy is jackass.
And they can't punch him.
That's the problem.
No, they can't hit him.
See, they should let her hit him.
No, there is a female prison one where they actually got in a scuffle. Oh yeah. The teenage girl was like, I'm telling No, they can't hit him. See, they should let her hit him. No, there was a female prison one
where they actually got in a scuffle.
Oh, yeah.
The teenage girl was like,
I'm telling you, get out of my face.
Yeah, she swung at her.
The girl's like, you ain't gonna do shit.
She's like, get in my face again.
She gets in, and she, boom.
Yeah.
She starts fighting.
She was like, no, she goes,
you wanna hit me?
You wanna hit me?
And the girl was like, boom.
Boom.
Yeah, that girl was gangster.
Dang.
Well, she got got.
Well, and who'd you bet in that one, Nick?
I don't bet women's fight a lot unless it's the over.
I'll take the over.
That's fair.
Two and a half rounds.
Not a lot of finishes.
Yeah.
Speaking of fights, can I tell a quick story from La Crosse, Wisconsin this week?
Yeah.
He was so excited about that.
How could we stop you?
True.
Sounds like we're going gonna get it no matter what
so brought my girlfriend back and showed her downtown lacrosse uh it's it's kind of quaint
it's cute but it's like got a big drinking scene it was kind of dead actually this weekend because
of covid and stuff but we saw this bride uh on the screen here and she was just shit-faced her
her groom was walking her she threw up while she was smoking
you say absolute try I hate that so then we go to a bar and we start seeing
ambulances fly past us and stuff and they kept going we didn't hear what
happened and then I told my sister about it when we saw her the next day and then yesterday she sends me this video she got hit by car she wishes she was
oh someone knocked it out on her wedding day is that the groom uh no uh no but the groom
was wearing a trump t-shirt and yelling white lives matter And it caused a fight. And she was hitting that dude with her heel.
This is all like group texts that are floating around lacrosse
with all the details.
This is the most Wisconsin thing I've ever seen.
For better or worse, man.
And yeah, it was just wild.
Was that Pablo Escobar who hit her?
Who is that thick dude?
Run it back. Let me see that right hand. Let me see that right hand. That Pablo Escobar who hit her? Who is that thick dude?
Run it back.
Let me see that right hand.
Let me see that right hand.
Was it a punch?
Was it?
You can see her drop in the back of this video.
Oh, is that her husband there?
Yeah.
In the shirt?
Yeah.
Oh, and this guy's mad because he had White Lives Matter?
Mm-hmm.
This is before.
Oh, there she just dropped.
Oh, shit.
Oh, sheesh.
And then he rushes that dude.
And then someone got shot.
This guy gets a guillotine right here.
Looks like he knows what he's doing a little bit.
Is this on Fight Island?
Oh, wow.
DDT'd him.
Dude, DDT'd him in white jeans.
Yeah.
And then, yeah, here's the overhand.
Dude, is she?
Boom! Oh, gosh. Well,, yeah, here's the overhand. Dude, ish. Boom!
Oh, gosh.
Well, a few lessons here. Oh, thanks, Nick.
I know, right?
One, probably don't get married.
Nick, all excited.
Can I tell you something?
I thought it was going to be something.
Nick's yelling, first of all.
Yelling at us.
Didn't even notice that you were yelling the whole time
to show us a beating
of a woman
well she deserved it
it sounded like
yeah yeah
it definitely seemed like
she deserved it
she was hitting the guy
was she
I'm sorry
it's hard to see that good
play one more time
she was hitting the guy
with her heel
which is
no one should be
no man should
knock her out
oh you see her
she should knock her out alright okay this wasn't you see her. Yeah, they shouldn't knock her out.
All right.
Okay.
This wasn't as fun as I thought.
Sorry, fellas.
No, it's all right.
Look, I'm just glad people are getting out and about.
Yeah.
You know what?
I'm just happy no one has masks on.
You know?
Fuck, dude.
Yeah, yeah.
That was interesting, though, Nick.
I'll give you that.
All right.
At least you guys did it, man.
Oh, so you guys, but you walked by her filming her throwing up and uh the cigarettes yeah that
we just like a real gem yeah i think you they when you saw her was before or after 100 before
because she had there was another picture uh of her eye was swollen shut completely and she got
taken to hospital they both they both got charged the guy and the girl wow oh they both got oh they
charged him and there was and there like, it escalated gunshots.
Oh, hell yeah.
Yeah.
Fuck yeah, dude.
Wild, wild west, you know?
It's a fun night.
Look, damn.
Love my hometown.
La Crosse, Wisconsin's lit.
Shit's lit, man.
Dude, a great place to vend some of this sauce, right?
Yeah.
If they would have had sauce, they wouldn't have done that.
That's true.
They wouldn't have done that.
Dude, if you-
Party brings people together.
Yep.
If you're licking your fingers, man, you can't be beating each other you can't be fighting you'd love each other finger
licking good yeah and i love these little jars too chef i mean this is a regular usually those
come with jam you know yeah usually people put preserves in those yeah more pickled something
some pickled pickles what else do you pickle? Pig's feet?
Pickled pig's feet.
We had a class when I was young growing up.
It was like an eating class where you learn how to eat.
Learn how to eat at a dinner table and a silverware, everything.
Oh, like etiquette.
I'd be a proper human being.
Etiquette, yeah.
How to pick up your cup.
How are you doing?
Set it down. And one of the things we ate was pig's feet
and hog's head cheese too that's disgusting yeah it wasn't that bad the pixie weren't that bad the
hog's head cheese i did not like just like old traditional southern foods like old school like
chitlins yeah i don't know if we had chitlins or not but some type of gizzard I know we had.
Hey, Nick, you got any more domestic violence videos?
Just so everybody doesn't think my town's a complete shithole,
here's the good side of it.
This is the view.
Oops.
A lot of trees.
This is the view from up on the bluff.
Oh, that's nice. There you go.
Main Street, Mississippi River in the back. Oh, that's nice. There you go. Main Street, Mississippi River in the back.
Oh, you can hear somebody shooting a woman.
That's why I don't have sound.
Yeah, good call, good call.
It does look nice, though.
Looks nice, man.
Look, I'm just glad to see people are out and about, man.
And if you and your wife,
somebody doesn't get beaten down in the street on your wedding day,
are you really living?
Don't remember that, Brad.
It's obvious he took his wife to a BW3s after a fucking wedding, too.
Which I respect.
Why are they at that fucking bar?
Shout out Brothers.
Yeah, dude.
And if you go to a place called Brothers,
you're going to get probably hit by a black guy.
Oh, it's called Brothers?
Oh, that place called Brothers? Oh, that place is called Brothers?
Yeah, it's like the college bar. It's a chain,
a national chain. Why did he take the tux off
and put a White Lives Matter shirt on?
What was he thinking? I don't know, but they seem like they're meant to be
to be honest, that couple.
Yeah, man.
If you go looking for shit, you'll get shit.
Yeah, that guy in the white jeans is ready
to go.
And the punch was pretty solid.
The man also looked like he might have been a gay man that she was hitting.
Did that man seem gay, you think?
He looked like, yeah, he looked like a...
Is it because of the white pants?
No, he looked like a sweet and low Pablo Escobar.
I think it's because a lot of times you'll see gay men will hit women.
Maybe that's what it is in my head.
You know what I'm saying, kind of?
Yeah.
Like a lot of times you see men and women will get in a fight, but it's usually a woman and a gay man.
There is some truth to that.
Cause I feel like gay men are the only ones who feel like it's okay to
grope women,
straight women.
Yes.
And they get away with it.
It's like boat trip or Fox news employees.
That's true,
dude.
Dude,
you got to get your ass touched.
If you're working at the news,
dude,
do you think,
I guess,
yeah, maybe women just get groped all the time does that happen everywhere is it some of it like
do you notice that cat in places where you like not obviously not at tfatk but other places you've
worked at uh where i've worked at no i do get groped a lot when i go back home by my like asian
aunts i don't know what it is olderer Asian women will grope the hell out of
younger girls.
I don't know what it is.
They grab you.
It's just one of those things where it's like,
wow, you hit puberty. Your tits are
getting fat.
Touch that fat titty.
They go two hands or just the one on two?
Really depends.
Preference.
First of all, anybody who puts two hands on one tit
is obviously blind.
Or it's a big titty.
Oh, that's true, bro. Come on, bro. Use that thing.
But here's the thing. Asian girls. Usually not that big.
Yeah, mid-range titties, bro.
Low to mid-range. Kind of like the hill in La Crosse.
Yeah, it's a bluff. It's a bluff.
Granddad's bluff. Did your girl
like your hometown? She loved it.
She kind of saw the seedy underbelly after, but...
She saw the dark world of Wisconsin.
She was very charmed by it.
Yeah.
I also showed her my campus of University of Minnesota,
and she loved Europe, and she was like,
a lot of this reminds me of Europe.
There's stone arch bridges and shit, and no homeless.
Damn, you have to take your girl to Europe now, dude.
Keep your girls away
from, what's it called?
Brothers? No, architecture.
Because then they want to go.
I want to go to the pyramids now.
The pyramids.
You mean Africa?
Yeah, you take them to Vegas, now they want to
go to freaking Egypt.
You go to Bellagio, they want to go to
Italy.
You take them to Ben and Jerry's, now they want to go to freaking Egypt, you know? You go to Bellagio, they want to go to Italy. Yeah.
You take them to Ben and Jerry's, now they want to go to Iceland.
You know?
It never ends, dude.
You go to Circus Circus, now they want to go to London all of a sudden.
Man.
Sports are back, big dog.
Dude, I can't wait to bet.
I can't wait to bet.
Bet on baseball tonight.
Bet on UFC this Saturday.
Yep, sports are back. Football's coming back. Bet on UFC this Saturday. Yep, sports are back.
Football's coming back. Basketball's coming back.
Your mom's coming back.
Dude, maybe your dad's even coming back, dude. What's the over-under? I'll take the over, dude.
Look, I'm just saying, we've all been waiting.
We've all been waiting for the opportunity
to throw a couple dollars on your favorite team, man.
I'm sporting right here with the Pittsburgh Pirates.
Holla. Baseball starts today. It's opening season. a couple dollars on your favorite team, man. I'm sporting right here with the Pittsburgh Pirates.
Baseball starts today.
It's opening season.
Don't even forget that the NBA NHL is back also.
They're all back, dog.
They're all back.
You could bet on the election.
You could bet on WNBA, UFC, NFL.
Yeah.
Over, under.
Fighting.
Under, over. Whatever you want, man
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Remember when Fabio hit that falcon that time?
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I think it was a pigeon.
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That was a falcon, dude.
Fabio doesn't hit pigeons.
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Chin, give us a life update.
I'm still here.
Wow.
I'm still kicking.
And how has it been?
Yeah, none of us even care.
We're in here eating.
Dude, life goes on.
We're in here eating, watching the fights.
Watching the fights.
We don't even care that Chin has literally been fighting death.
I feel great, man.
I just want to be very, very careful.
That's why I'm waiting this long.
It's been so many days.
I know.
But remember, I'm the only one in here that was wearing masks like crazy. I'm just super, very careful. That's why I'm waiting this long. It's been so many days. I know. But remember, I'm the only one in here
that was wearing masks like crazy.
I'm just super, super careful.
Yeah.
The irony.
Do you think you have it, Chen?
No, not anymore.
It's been too many days.
Yeah.
Symptoms went away a long time ago.
It's been,
Chen's had it for three months.
Just got to be very careful.
That's it.
Damn, dude.
It sounds like you're kind of milking the system a little bit, Shin.
Are you milking?
Are you collecting unemployment?
You would know.
Yeah, are you collecting unemployment, Shin?
No, no unemployment.
Oh, wow.
And I'll still, I'll be zooming in or whatever I got to do.
Keep working.
Damn.
That's amazing, bro.
I'm here three doors down.
Yeah, we keep moving.
Ooh, good man.
Yeah.
Oh, okay. Just kidding. I was playing with this shit down. Yeah, we keep moving. Ooh, good band. Yeah.
Okay.
Just kidding.
You guys play with me.
Shut down.
Oh, that's where you draw the line?
Oh, my bad.
Oh, three doors down.
You know, they got one song that I do like.
I don't like that song.
Which one do you like?
It's a slower one.
It's called Away From The Sun.
Oh, yeah. That is a good one.
Yeah.
Kryptonite was bad.
Away from the sun.
It's cold out and so far from the sun.
I'm so cold.
No, super Kryptonite.
Oh, Superman.
Yeah, that's the Kryptonite.
Superman.
I remember running through the wet grass, getting my socks all wet.
Remember that song?
Nope.
Desperately wanted. All right. Guns N' Roses. the wet grass. Getting my socks all wet. Remember that song? Nope. There's really one in.
Remember that?
Guns and Roses?
Mason
is dying.
What the hell
is that?
Mason
you're
waiting.
Remember that?
No.
What is it called?
What else we got?
Dang, look at her
eyeballs.
She tattooed her eyeballs.
Oh, yeah.
No, she didn't.
Yes, she did.
That's not a thing.
That's a new thing, chef.
That's what you never seen.
Dude, you watch naked and, I'm sorry, beyond scared straight,
you never seen these inmates with their eyeballs painted?
They tattooed their eyeballs.
Yeah.
Red, blue, green, black.
Is this true?
Bro, don't yell black at him like that.
I know, right? The black one's the scariest one. That made me uncomfortable, man. green black is this true but don't yell black in them like that i know right don't do that kind of shit here now a lot of kids they don't want to pay to have a
yeah a lot of them go blind so that's what happens when you go yeah a lot of them go blind that's not
real and this let me just say first of all this is also a white sport it seems like
mainly a white sport or asian oh no Mainly a white sport. Or Asian. Oh, no, that's definitely white.
This is white.
It came from the inmates, though.
The inmates were the first.
You remember the first guy, kind of the Rosa Parks of I stuff, was like, you know what?
I'll do it.
I'll be the first guy.
Oh, my gosh.
You know what?
That's a good point.
Inmates really start a lot of kind of trends like that, you know?
Sagging your pants.
Yeah.
They should have done it.
That meant you were down for booty play. Oh, really? That's where sagging came from. Yeah. They should have done it. That meant you were down for booty play.
Oh, really?
That's where sagging came from.
Damn.
They should have done it in the Civil War
because they said don't shoot
until you see the whites of their eyes.
So if you tattoo your eye,
you can't shoot.
Yep, yep.
That's true.
Wow.
That's an ugly thing.
It is ugly.
It's sad, too,
when you do that to yourself, I think.
Not this girl, I'm saying, but...
For this kind of... For whatever reason, it's kind of hot. Let's sad, too, when you do that to yourself, I think. Not this girl, I'm saying, but... For this kind of...
For whatever reason, it's kind of hot.
Let's watch the last video.
Chin will probably ever see a little bit.
Appreciate it.
Let's get into the episode, huh?
Yeah.
This is a new segment called Shoot Your Shot,
and it's self-explanatory.
Is she going to convince us to start to our eyes?
Hey, Brendan.
Hey, Theo.
My name is Marissa,
and I am from Phoenix, Arizona.
First and foremost, I just want to say that I absolutely adore you guys and love the content
that you produce every week.
This is hands down my favorite podcast, and I look forward to listening to it every Friday
morning as soon as I get to work.
I was actually introduced to your podcast from this guy that I have really been into
for quite some time now.
His name is paul
he's absolutely amazing and damn near perfect to me so i thought what better way to try to
shoot my shot than to hopefully get his attention here on the podcast hopefully it works and
hopefully my friends here on king and the sting will co-sign for me. But Paul, if you're listening...
Paul.
Paul, he want a cracker.
She wants Paul in them walls, baby.
From the window to the wall.
Now, was that a filter? Because her teeth were blue, too.
Am I going fucking crazy?
Did she put ecstasy in this barbecue sauce?
Were her teeth blue?
There's a little ecstasy in that.
A little bit in there, you know.
Her teeth were blue, right?
Yes.
No.
And her hair's blue.
No, it isn't, Brendan.
It's like a tinge.
I think she's got a filter on.
I think it's a filter.
So she's gone to prison.
Okay, so she's looking for Paul, man.
I like it.
We got to get Paul, if you're out there, send us your response either way.
Yeah.
Ooh.
It's like love connection.
Shoot your shot, player.
Yeah.
Paul, you want a cracker?
Come get it, dog.
And she's prepared either way.
If he's not into it, she knew.
That's the chance she's taking.
Dang.
There you go.
Just like that wife out there.
When you hit somebody with a high heel shit happens that's the chance
you take it man well i'm sure i'm sure if paulie don't want the cracker she's gonna get a bunch
other dudes in them dms she might she might not i bet she is you think yeah yeah let's do on 20
look at her yeah beautiful girl yeah and she can uh I'll have to find out if she's cool with us giving out her Instagram
in case Paul says no.
Oh, I think she is.
Oh, they'll find her.
I think she's definitely attractive.
I just mean she, do we have enough creepy guys out there that would be just sending
her DMs?
I guess we do.
I'm going to go ahead and say yes.
Yes.
I agree with Kevin.
There you go.
Dang.
Survey says yes.
Checking my DMs, yes.
Oh, here's somebody right here who's obviously.
Here's someone with the same nose as Theo.
That's cool.
Really?
Oh, it's that funny, huh, guys?
Save some oxygen for the rest of us, fellas.
Save some oxygen for the rest of us, fellas.
Dude, I just inhale you.
All you guys just faint.
Shin dies again.
Barely went to the same doctor.
Oh, gosh.
Hey, what's up, Brendan, Theo, and the gang?
I got a quick king of the sting it for you.
I'm out here in Amish country, Ohio. This is where I'm from.
You see the people on the buggies, you'll see them on bikes.
I even saw a guy pushing a Razor scooter to get to work.
So the King or Sting it is the Amish lifestyle.
Would you live it?
No electricity, no cars, a simple life.
Let me know what you think.
Gang gang, buzz buzz. Buzz buzz, know what you think. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz.
Buzz, buzz, young man.
Gang.
Dang.
Amish life.
That's out near Lancaster out there, I think, in PA.
Did he say he's in PA?
Ohio.
Ohio.
Yeah.
Totally different.
Close, though.
I was thinking Ohio, too.
I don't know.
What do you think about the Amish lifestyle, Chappelle?
What do you think?
I like A Simple Life. I don't need much. I don't even have do you think about the Amish lifestyle Chappelle what do you think I like a simple life I don't need much
I don't even have a car
yeah
you know
you know if you're
if you're in the Amish lifestyle
you're having a gold chain
to you right now
I can't have a gold chain
no you can't wear
blue Cortez Nikes either
for real
you can't
no dog
you can't wear any of that stuff
you ever seen a fly
fucking
Amish person
you ever seen an Amish person some off light I mean I've seen I've seen Kingpin you ever seen that fly fucking Amish person you've seen Amish person some I
mean I've seen I've seen kingpin you ever seen that movie great you know so
so overrated or underrated on which one Bill Moran that's so funny
Oh cat you could do that um I feel like I could probably do it just because I imagine that's how my parents lived in Vietnam.
But I don't think I could do it now.
Yeah, it's crazy how like your parents will live one life and then the kids will live and just how different it is, you know?
That's why I refuse to go camping.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah, camping is like being Amish.
It's like being just briefly Amish. Don't they send their kids out when they turn 18 to like... R Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, camping's like being Amish. It's like being just briefly Amish.
Don't they send their kids out when they turn 18 to like...
Rump Springer.
Yeah.
It's on the screen.
That's what it is.
Rump Springer.
So you get a chance to stunt and live a lifestyle for a little while.
And then come back?
Mm-hmm.
Do you have to come back?
No, it's like up to you.
It's like a trial period.
And then they build all their own shit too, right?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. They churn their own butter. They probably have no idea what's like up to you. It's like a trial period. And they build all their own shit too, right? Yeah.
They churn their own butter.
They probably have no idea what's going on right now.
A lot of people in my area, they buy their furniture from Amish people because it's all handcrafted and stuff.
Ooh.
Really?
Like they probably have no idea about COVID.
That's a good question.
Like why are they wearing fucking masks these days?
Yeah, are the Amish getting COVID? Can you look that up? That's going to be a good question. Why are they wearing fucking masks these days? Are the Amish getting COVID?
Can you look that up?
That's going to be a tough sell.
How long are their kids allowed to leave for when they turn 18?
Ooh, Lancaster County.
That's where they're at.
Pandemic taking toll on the Amish.
Oh, look at that little guy.
Well, damn, look at that little freaking.
That's Chin.
Their chin is in that little thing.
If we can zoom in on there, we'll see him.
That's Chin and Nick.
Chin and Nick.
Chin and Nick.
That's exactly what it is.
That's exactly what it looks like.
Oh, yeah.
I do love Carhartt.
It looks like he's got Carhartt.
There's Nick yelling at us.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Dang.
What?
It hit the Amish, dude.
It did?
Well, what did that say?
We didn't even see it.
It said it spread amongst the Amish.
Uh-oh.
It hit the Amish, yeah.
We didn't read it.
Yeah, dude.
Read the fucking top line, son.
Yeah, that's just the bait.
I've been trending upward with upward will increase about 135 percent statewide it doesn't matter i guess so how'd they get it if they don't
talk to anyone they don't nervous infection or driving over there yeah i don't know man
i said this state nursing home infections were the driving numbers Ah fuck get out of here
It's nursing homes
That's not Amish
Yeah a lot of the Amish
We don't even know
Then it says we don't know
Because a lot of the Amish
Are not being tested
They're choosing not to be tested
Yeah because they don't have it
They don't fuck with us
Dang
Good for them
They're like we don't have
Your shit disease
Do they let outsiders
Come in there
In their town
I don't know a lot about Amish
Yeah We should get about Amish.
Yeah.
We should get an Amish person on.
Right?
They wouldn't do it.
You don't think?
No, dude. Somebody that went to Rumspringa and then came out?
You could talk to someone who's changed,
who grew up in that lifestyle.
Yeah.
Oh, maybe that guy who sent in the video.
Oh, yeah.
You know, with Tio's nose?
Yeah.
I wish I had that little nose he has. I got this intake, yeah. You know, with Theo's nose? Yeah. I wish I had that little nose he has.
I got this intake, man.
I got this intake, man.
You got a can and ear filter there, sir.
Good day, sir.
Good day, mate.
How you going?
That's Australian.
That's Australian, man.
You got to spin around the globe.
You got to tap into your roots, bro.
We're doing an all-Britain episode, and you're part British, right half my mama born and raised england stroud shout out to stroud really
wow we're doing a full episode of king of the sting dedicated to the english yep we're doing
a full episode cast dedicated to the english because things are getting rocky here in america
we might be coming back yeah we might be coming back to the motherland yeah so send in all your video submissions all england and inspired yep england inspired uk
scotland and ireland um and other places that are also england that we don't know yeah welsh i think
it's the welsh well that'd be uk yeah yeah who's uh yeah the welsh and england has better candy also another good idea for king
the sting oh that's true maybe some british candies if you have one that might be a good
that might be a good king and her sting also they call chips crisp over there oh them crisps so
yeah we got ireland northern ireland scotland england and wales the i think they're the fanciest. I've loved you.
I always have.
Oh, I'm not a poof dog.
I'm not a poof dog.
England, get on it.
Submit the videos.
England, get on it.
Submit the videos.
It's going to be for next week, so get on it now.
What else you got, Dick?
Okay.
Hey, Theo.
Hey, Brandon.
This is like my 80th time trying to make this video because I'm so nervous.
And I'm really sorry for the shaky camera work, but I am from the West Coast of Canada,
and I have a King and a Singer for you.
Eating a lot on the first date, should you just be polite and have the salad
or a little cute gula with the burger, fries, milkshake, all that?
I personally am a burgers girl, but yeah, King and a Singer.
Eating a lot on the first date,
buzz buzz, gang gang.
Dang, girl.
First of all, she was talking very fast like she's being
held.
I do want to say that.
She didn't have a lot of time.
She's all buzz buzz, gang gang.
She's like, really quickly,
get back to it.
Kidnapping people in
force them to eat burgers or fries. Like really quickly, I just, yes. Yeah, kidnapping people in...
Force them to eat burgers or fries.
Yeah.
In Western Canada.
Double tied hand knots.
Yeah, buzz buzz, gang gang, 1114 Harper Avenue.
This is me shooting my shot.
This is me shooting my shot for the police.
I'm sorry.
We're just joking, young lady.
You seem like a beautiful young lady.
Yeah, she's very attractive.
Well, Brendan, there's a lot more to her than that, too.
She obviously wants to know.
She's like being held hostage like Britney Spears.
People think Britney Spears has been trying to signal her fans through her Instagram videos.
Because her dad has all her rights.
Yeah, like power of attorney or something.
She can't make any decisions.
And the fans will be like, we're yellow.
And then the next video should be in all yellow.
Then be like, show a picture with pigeons if you're in trouble.
And she'll show a picture with a bunch of pigeons.
Like she's literally listening.
Hey, y'all.
Her freaking videos are freaking absolutely ridiculous.
It's so crazy.
Is she okay?
I think she's okay. You tell okay? I think she's okay.
Can you tell me?
Do you think she's okay?
Well, she just wants to make a little dance video.
Yeah, she looks nice right here.
I mean, she's awesome.
I mean, she's batshit crazy.
Is she?
Yeah, pretty crazy.
She seems all right.
Yeah, she's just making a video.
But it's weird, though.
Oh, yeah?
Would you post this?
I probably would. You're Britney Spears, dude. Dude, you... just making a video. But it's weird, though. Oh, yeah? Would you post this? I probably would.
You're Britney Spears, dude.
Dude, you...
It's very random.
If you've seen the other stuff she posts compared to this,
like, there's something going on there.
Dude, what do we know about women?
We don't know shit.
Yeah, that's fair.
Yeah.
But you might be right, though, man.
You might be right.
I'm sorry, dude.
There's a lot of conspiracy going into it.
See, I can't put my head in that.
But what did this girl wants to know
eating on the first date do you just have a little side salad or you go for that fucking balls deep
i have the side salad side salad yeah i have something that i can knife and fork oh really
yeah show them that i'm fancy oh show them your handy like i'm you don't first date no no chicken
wings ribs oh you did done well in that class i was in then yeah i took that class you did yeah Show them your handy. First date, no, no. Chicken wings, ribs.
You did well in that class I was in then.
Yeah, I took that class.
You did?
Yeah.
You can't do messy stuff.
Probably no spaghetti, no pastas.
No crawfish.
No crawfish. Yeah, no crawfish.
For me, no broccoli.
I don't know.
In Louisiana, you can take a girl to a crawfish boil as a first date maybe.
It gets messy though, dude.
Yeah, that's true.
It's a little sexual though too.
It is a little bit sexual.
You get that full rack of rib, you start showing her how you suck that rib, bro.
Or you get your plate and you put crawfish and her plate is just like seven things of corn.
And she's like, why do I have all these long corns?
The ears of the corn.
And she's sucking on the head.
Yeah.
Yeah, the sucking on the head. Yeah, I think there's a lot. Bite the tail, suck the corn. And she's sucking on the head. Yeah, the sucking on the head.
Bite the tail, suck the head.
Maybe it's a second date you go for crawfish.
What's a good date?
What's a good date spot, man?
For dinner.
Well, Chin's place that he always goes is actually...
Cream barbecue's not bad.
It's pretty damn good. You cook for them, too.
It's so sweet.
Yeah, it's kind of annoying.
Take it easy.
It's not the 50s.
But you bring your own meat in there.
Sometimes I like to do that for Korean barbecue.
I'll sneak a cut to my own meat.
I'll sneak a couple of damn, you know.
I'll toss some fucking grapes on that fucking grill.
I'll sneak a little bit of half of a swan neck or something.
Something exotic.
I'll put some fucking ostrich on that bitch.
Do a turkey neck or half a stretch.
Penguin bitch. Boom. Yeah, it is nice when that bitch. Do a turkey neck or half a stretch. Penguin bitch.
Boom.
Yeah, it is nice when you bring some of your own shit and people look over and you got a damn.
You got a zebra rib, ho?
Boom.
Big old rib on there.
Yeah, dude.
You got a fucking, yeah, you got a little bit of a leopard hip over there.
Get that elephant trunk on the grill, bro.
You eating that endangered species over there, right?
Now, Chin, have you taken some first dates to this type of place where you got this disease at?
Where I got the disease at?
Yeah.
What?
This is a two-parter.
First of all. Oh, yeah.
Go for it.
Where do you think you got the disease at that you have?
What do I think?
Let's see.
Let's backtrack.
Okay.
I'm guessing when, I don't know, if I had to put money on this, I would say possibly
through Brendan or Brian.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, guy.
What are you talking about?
What?
Where's your proof?
There's no proof.
There's no way.
Playing grab ass.
There's really no way to track it.
And with fucking Korean barbecue every other goddamn day.
That's true.
You were out in a lake that thousands of other people have been in this year.
A boat.
Yeah.
It's true, but I was with my girlfriend.
She's pretty clean.
Does she have it?
No, she's good.
She's healthy.
How does she not have it then?
She might be asymptomatic.
The last time I saw her was a weekend before.
And then the Monday that I worked, I didn't see her after that.
And have you heard from her or seen her at all?
Is she all right?
Talk to her every day.
Oh, okay.
FaceTime her every day.
She's good.
She's great.
But what was your question?
Has he taken girls on dates at Korean barbecue?
That's all he does.
That's his move.
No, and also the best, I think the best one is sushi.
Ooh, sushi.
Here's the thing with sushi, brother.
It's not sexy.
It is.
Here's the thing.
If you want some problems and it happens with sushi, you eat not sex it is here's the thing if you if you want some problems and it
happens with sushi you eat sushi that went bad that dates game set match true if you go to a
bad place oh you're blowing up the toilet son but who's eating bad who's eating happens at the best
of best places sometimes there's just a little tuna that's been out a little too long no it does
and i think you know that as a human species if If you're supposed to be alive and God wants you to be alive for a long time,
then you don't eat bad food that's going to kill you
because you know in your own brain what's going on.
Sometimes too late, you swallow that eel roll,
the little funky sauce on there.
You know, your stomach's going, hey, dog, date's over.
Damn.
That's why you got to stick with Chef Pell's sauce, man.
Exactly.
Bring your own sauce.
No, but cream barbecue might be the best idea for a first date.
Cream barbecue.
Feed each other, too.
What do you think, Kat?
Let's get a female perspective.
Hey, pump the bread.
I'm just saying.
Get your shit over here.
What?
You cook for him.
Feed each other.
Drink.
It's the best.
That's his culture, bro.
Don't deny him his culture, man.
I don't think so.
He will kill himself in a puddle for his wife.
What? Have you seen those videos where they die and then he's like walking off my back
You don't to get your shoes wet. No. Yeah, what are you saying cat? They do that shit, dude
If he was a girl his dad would have killed him
You know what I'm talking about Jen no, yeah you do
Well, you're saying oh cat. what's a good first date, food-wise?
Korean barbecue.
I also like it if a guy can cook.
If he cooks for me on the first date, I'm very impressed.
Hold on.
You got to go to the crib and he cooks for you?
That's risky.
That's a little much.
If you're like, hey, let's say some dude's asking for a date.
You're like, yo, where are we going?
He's like, my crib.
It's like, jeez.
And what if he goes to the bathroom Or something Then he comes out And catches you
Looking through his stuff
Why am I looking
Through his stuff
Why wouldn't you
Yeah
Why wouldn't you
Yeah
I feel like girls
Are smarter
Where if we wanted to snoop
We would snoop
Through your bathroom
Yeah
Because then you can't
Just come in
You're not just walking
Into the bathroom
While I'm there
But if you're in there
For too long
I'm like oh she took
A shit in my bathroom
Which is fine.
That's a human thing.
Yeah, people shit all the time.
It's not fine.
Everything shits.
Have you been to a pet store before?
Everything in there shits.
Yeah, that's fair.
Besides just cooking at home,
where else, Kat?
I like Italian food.
It gets messy, though.
But the lighting.
You get a big sloppy lasagna.
Dude, she's not taking him to fucking Zbarro's, dude.
It's like a decent place.
She ain't drunk.
Zbarro's Pizza.
That pizza shit.
Better than a little Caesar's.
Cardboard covered in lettuce.
That shit is terrible, dude.
Whatever, man.
You guys don't know anything. Zbarro's is shit. You gotta get out more. Dude, it's regional. It's nice. I shit is terrible, dude. Whatever, man. You guys don't know anything.
Tomorrow's is shit.
You got to get out more.
Dude, it's regional.
It's nice.
I mean, people like it.
What about, so yeah, I think if you have a place you could grill something.
Do you think you take somebody to a family event or something like that on a Thursday?
Not for the first one.
Really?
See, that's the kind of shit I do.
That's why I'm laughing.
That's some shit, Theodore.
What was your first date?
Oh, he took me
to his family reunion.
Bro, I'm not joking.
I just now remember
there was this really sweet girl
from Sautel, Louisiana.
She came to my brother's house
for dinner one time.
It was my family, dude.
And I hadn't even seen
half my family in like a year.
Yeah, so you're playing catch up.
She's all over in the corner.
And my brother and them had just moved into this house
and they had a real small table.
So we all had to eat like really close to each other.
And the food was not good.
It was so awkward.
And my brother's kids were lit, like just newborn.
Just chaos. Just chaos. Throwing shit. and my brother's kids were lit like just newborn just chaos chaos throwing shit
and it was just like who is this girl like i don't know yeah i'm like i just met her yeah
well we'll know i said i don't know but i'll you know i'm trying to see how she handles the
pressure yeah let's put her right that's funny let's put her right into that deep oven where
chin is right now that's what I knew when he asked that.
That's some Theo shit.
It makes me feel bad, too, why I do that kind of stuff, you know?
Oh, yeah.
Look, a buddy of mine passed away.
One of my best friends has a funeral today.
Why don't we go to that tonight?
Pretty dope wake.
Let's go do it.
You know?
Wear some wake sexy, you know?
Dress kind of death sexy.
Death sexy.
Let's do it, man.
What else you got, Nick?
We'll close out
with the highly produced.
Close out?
Did we even start the show?
It's an hour.
We didn't even help that girl.
She wanted to know
if she can have a sandwich.
No, no.
You need to eat, girl.
Yeah, you said it right, girl.
Do not let that captor say,
oh, this is a first date still.
Yeah.
We're just 11 months into a first date.
She's a real long first date.
We're trying to figure each other out.
Uh,
Korean barbecue is the best idea.
There you go.
Korean barbecue.
Yeah.
Campfire.
I think it's a little too scary.
It's also annoying though.
If you go on a date with a girl and she orders just like a side salad.
Like, come on, man.
Then I can't get down.
I can't order a full meal and I look like an asshole.
Oh, yeah, that's true.
Maybe get two salads.
If I'm eating real and you're eating, yeah, well, then I got to get a salad.
Then we're both starving.
No, no, no.
You get two salads and she gets, you know, or she gets two salads.
Like, say you get a burger, she gets two salads. Oh, I feel you. Or you get two salads. You know, somebody gets two salads and she gets, you know, or she gets two salads. Like say you get a burger, she gets two salads.
I feel you.
Or you get two salads,
you know,
somebody gets two salads,
you know,
crazy,
you know,
we got a debate.
We'll close out with this debate club.
Well,
when's this sauce coming out though?
I do want to know,
is it,
are we going to see a sauce at some point?
Are we still kind of perfect in the recipe?
Yeah.
Perfect.
And you know,
just working out the King.
I can't wait to dive back into another set.
Yeah.
Are you going to eat more after this?
Oh, thank you.
I'm going to get a little taste of that sauce again.
I just want you to know what's going on there.
You can take that home.
Oh, yeah?
I mean, he put his whole finger in it, so he might as well.
Yeah, that's why I said that.
Thick finger.
Yeah, that's a thick finger.
And then he licked his finger and put it back in there.
And he does it again.
It's yours now, though.
That's you now, Pablo.
You got your little nice jar, little mason jar.
I'm trying to think of what's in there, man.
I'm tasting some different elements.
Ooh, something hit me.
Did you guys ever figure out what a tri-tip is?
What did you say?
Oh, the cut?
Yeah, the tri-tip cut.
Triceratops, I think.
Oh, yeah.
What part is that?
I think tricera.
The tri-tip's the hind, right?
The hind?
What are you, a freaking pervert?
Sorry, dude.
Go to Cutts' Barbecue.
Hey, let me see that hind, boy.
Yeah, and everything's got to be cut a certain way.
You got to go against the grain.
I like when they chop the tri-tip up and you get the burnt ends.
Oh, yeah.
Burnt ends are good.
Oh, yeah.
It should have a picture of a cow, and then it shows it.
Just tri-tip.
What does it say?
Beef cut, steaks, sirloins, rib eyes, beef mince, brisket.
If you go cuts of beef, it's going to show a picture of a cow,
and then we can figure it out.
Or what is tri-tip?
See, there's the picture I'm looking for.
What is tri-tip?
Oh, I see what you're saying.
Yes.
Okay.
And there we go.
What I like is that London broil, man
Shout out London broil
I'll tell you, that bullshit is that flank steak
You don't want that
That prime rib hit her right there in the middle of his back
Let's go back to that pic
Can we, Nick?
The pink one, right?
Let's go back to that other one if we can
I like that neck.
That neck?
You like that leg?
What's up with that?
What's up with that shin?
Who the fuck's eating?
Hey, man, you got any of that shin back there?
Nah.
Dude, I'll tell you who's eating it.
Probably chin.
Chin eating the shin.
Damn. I don't fuck with tongue either, man.
You don't?
I gotta draw the line somewhere.
I ain't eating no tongue, bro.
You eat the tongue?
Have you had like Langua tacos?
Nope.
What are they?
Langua?
Cow tongue.
Yeah, cow tongue.
You have the fat tongues.
That Langua, have you had it? Yeah. I will eat every part of the animal. Damn. You have the fat tongues. Like tacos. That leg, have you had it?
Yeah.
I will eat every part of the animal.
Damn.
You'll eat the eyeball cat?
That's sexy, bro.
Sometimes, if it's like on fish and stuff.
You got to pop that head.
Dude, think how fucked up that was.
His thick ass tongue like cut into pieces.
Yep.
That doesn't go to waste though.
That's good.
That's slurper.
And the best is if he just.
Slurper. That doesn't go to waste, though. That's good. That's slurper. And the best is if he just... What's slurper?
That's gross. Bro, if he just had something real tasty, then you get double
the taste. Yeah, that grilled slurper?
No, if the cow,
say if he just had a snow cone or something, right?
Oh, you get a little sweeter. Yeah, so you get
that, you know, suddenly your
tongue steak tastes like a little bit of an asher pot.
Oh, is this the tongue?
There's a picture of the tongue right there.
Like a dick.
Oh, have you seen a geoduck before?
Yeah, why not that one?
What is it?
Look at the one there.
A geoduck?
That multicolored one right there.
Yeah, that thing's bold.
Nick, can you pull up a geoduck and show them what it looks like?
A geoduck?
What's that?
G-I-O duck?
Yeah.
Gooey ducked.
Gooey duck.
Gooey duck. Gooey duck.
It's like a sea.
Yeah, there you go.
Another version of like a clam.
Oh, and don't you stroke them and then they spit?
What, dude?
You're disgusting.
So what you're supposed to do is like slice it,
kind of like what you do with the tongue.
But there are videos of Asian women eating this
and they'll just take a bite out of it.
And after you cook it for some reason,
like water squirts out of it.
So it looks like a dick.
And what is this?
Some kind of wiener?
No, that's a clam.
It's a really exotic clam.
Oh yeah.
Oh, whoa.
Oh, whoa.
Oh, whoa.
Oh, whoa.
Oh, whoa.
See, that's what I was telling you, bro.
Oh, whoa. Brendan, how'd you know that? I don't know, dude's what I was telling you, bro! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Brendan, how'd you know that?
I don't know, dude.
This thing's vulgar, though.
Look at this girl try-
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! I just wanted to share some of our culture with you. She's not feeling it.
That thing bent back a little.
I'll tell you what, she's taking that thing down, though.
Chef, you might have found a secret ingredient.
Fry some of these up, Chef.
This is that hella original recipe right here.
Let me see another one. Oh, gosh.
Who is this girl?
She's creeping me out.
Oh, wow. Giant.
Oh.
No.
Damn, girl.
Oh.
Those things are so
Oh.
That'll burn your
wiener. Oh, girl, get it. Oh. That'll burn your wiener.
Oh, girl, get it.
Oh.
Boy, this is good.
Oh, that thing busts.
That thing busts in her mouth.
Oh, okay.
And who?
Dude.
Bad guy.
Oh.
You got to trade it.
You got to trade it, bro.
That thing has some balls.
He got a big old nut sack.
Damn.
Dude.
Ooh, dang a lang.
Bad boy.
Oh, no, no, no.
Bad guy.
Bad guy.
Ooh!
Bad guy.
Papa like.
Girl.
You gotta drain that thing.
Yeah.
Ah! Damn, this is sexual as fuck. Bad guy. Papa like. Girl. You got to drain that thing. Yeah. Ah.
Damn.
Damn, this is sexual as fuck.
Oh, man.
Damn, girl.
Bad guy.
Bad guy.
The way she just hit.
Oh.
That one's still looking for something.
That one's still flirting, dude.
Damn, boy.
We back at brother's bar all of a sudden, dude.
And this girl is about to get knocked out right here.
Bro, is that pepper she's rubbing that in?
Ooh.
That thing leaking, bro.
Ooh.
God.
That thing busting all over, bro. Oh, god. That thing busting all over, bro.
Oh, dang.
Oh, this lady just does it.
They keep getting bigger, dude.
Oh, that's a kneecap, dude.
That's a grandparent's leg right there.
Uh-oh.
There she goes with that Sammy Sosa sauce
right there, boy.
And Chin, do you know what she's saying?
I don't know.
It's Chinese.
This is Chinese, okay?
Thank you.
Oh, she's putting some tempera crunch roll on that bitch.
That's not right.
That lime.
She's like a crunchy, bro.
That lime seasoning.
Get it crunchy, girl.
Oh, wasabi.
That's what that is?
Yeah Dude we should get one
And try it in
We can't do that
I bet you can
Playboy
Oh
Oh gosh
Damn
Is that thing aftermarket?
It's just Are we watching the dark web?
Is this the dark web?
How many are there now?
Oh, God.
Oh, it's a four-minute video of her doing this over and over.
Probably a million views.
And are these good?
Has anybody had one of these?
Uh-uh.
I've actually had it before.
The way you're supposed to eat it which is sliced so you're not
supposed to just kind of take a bite out of it like that and that's the fun out of it yeah what
they do i want to slap it around and bite that thing why why are they i just don't uh well it
says the go duck is still alive i feel like this is oh it's some way inhumane it's actually pretty
sad watching her smack it knowing that it's still alive.
She didn't prepare it right.
What did it do that was so bad
is what I want to know.
Him, please be gentle.
Her.
Man, it's scary, bro.
Someone needs to stop this woman.
I agree with that.
Someone said she slaps it
The thing breathes hella hard
Someone said
I'm gonna delete my search history
Just in case
Someone said
When she started slapping it
You know a man wronged her once or twice.
Oh, man.
Oh, that's too much, man.
Netflix, are you still watching Someone's Daughter?
Oh, gosh.
This is disgusting.
Dude, is she draining them nuts?
This thing. That's Mother Nature, man. Damn, Mother she draining them nuts? This thing.
That's Mother Nature, man.
Damn, Mother Nature's a perv, bro.
That's sexual clam, bro.
That's not a sex clam.
What do we got, Nick?
We'll save the debate club for next week.
All right.
No place to go from there.
Exhausted.
That was a woo clan?
No, a gooey duck.
A geoduck.
I don't know how people call it. A geoduck? How a geoduck how you say it gooey duck that shit seemed racial this just seemed like fucking klu klux clams
that shit seemed hella racial at the end
you just do them clams them clams some units on them, bro. Them clams are thick and long. Them clams down the face.
Damn.
You'll find those clams at high tide, bro.
Looking to ball out.
Those clams are partying, bro.
I didn't know the ocean was doing all that.
Chinese people did.
Oh, really?
Yeah, Chinese people wild, man.
They be wilding, dude.
They start to eat that thing. They go out and catch them damn things.
Damn, bro.
That'd make Theo hungry.
You gonna eat after that?
You gotta slap it.
There you go.
That's tasty, bro.
Give it a hit, Danny.
There you go.
I'm gonna back in that bitch. hit, Danny. There you go. I had a back end there.
Sorry, bro.
Slap that cold meat around.
It's too much.
Thank you, Chef Pal, for this food. Yeah, thank you guys.
Thank you guys, man.
Tim?
Yeah?
Stay alive.
Just checking.
Still here.
Just checking.
Brendan and Theo, fighter in weight.
I gotta go in and go hard in the paint.
I do not think.
I am in flow. Black rifle coffee, I'm ready to go, I need a sponsor, I am a monster, bout
to open up with this at my concerts, flow is contagious, brows are outrageous, thicker
than girls that are Instagram famous, damn, hungry like I'm fresh off keto, seeing red
like Andrew Santino, every song I hit like the great Bambino, Brennan ate the queso and
the quesoritos, But everything's gonna be fine
Hate on me, I do not mind
Theo looking like the type of dude
That got a pack of matches in his pockets at all times
They sliding into my DMs
A couple of you tried but couldn't beat him
Quit playing like Nintendo DS
You don't want to smoke like Joey Diaz
Meaning y'all edible
Just got my eyebrows threaded and I'm feeling incredible
Brennan's son hit me up
He said it's too loud in the club.
Can you pick me up?
King and the sting.
King and the sting.
King and the sting.
King and the sting.
King and the sting.
Got the bees in the trap.
Got the cheese on a string.
King and the sting.
King and the sting. King and the sting. Outro Music