The Golden Hour - Episode 87: Loveline with Dr. Drew & Mike Catherwood

Episode Date: September 18, 2020

The guys welcome in Dr. Drew and Mike Catherwood for this KATS Loveline Special. The guys talk Mikes Blowjob Bandit Story, Female Weiners, Theo's Bus Boy Past, Hamster Sales, Rel...ationship Advice For A Plumber, Sex Habits, Ghost Loads, Cancel Culture, 90 Day Fiance, Hot Karl Calls In and much more!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 What? There's like a windy day and that's it? There's even no wind. It's just normal. Is there a noise? I make the noise, but that's it. Oh my God. But does anybody believe you if no semen comes out?
Starting point is 00:00:11 Does anybody believe you? Yeah, because you could fake it all the time. First of all, I don't think males are motivated to fake. You know what I mean? Oh, I've been there. Really? Anything to get me out of the damn bedroom, dude, I would do it. There's a lot packed into that statement.
Starting point is 00:00:32 Back off my broccolini. Get your life together. It is. Don't touch me, bro. I'm not touching you, dude. So, well. Here we are. Why don't we introduce who's in our culture corner?
Starting point is 00:00:50 Well, look, man, we had to get as cultural as we could. That's what we had to do. We had to call in some big hitters. And me. When you say culture, I sort of think like a bacterial culture. Oh. That's what it is today. Yeah, good.
Starting point is 00:01:04 That's what I thought. I'm a resistant strain. like a bacterial culture. Oh. Yes. That's what it is today. Yeah, good. That's what I thought. I'm a resistant strain. I think cancel culture. That's the first thing that comes to my mind. I'm a big fan. That's when everyone fires. I support that. I'm when everyone fired but me.
Starting point is 00:01:16 I'm a big fan of cancel culture. It's so stupid and so primitive and so crazy. It's really the French Revolution behavior. It's guillotine. Can it go away though, you think? Yeah. I think so, yeah. It's really, it's the French Revolution behavior. It's guillotine. Can it go away though, you think? Yeah, I think so,
Starting point is 00:01:27 yeah. It'll even out. Culturally, pendulums always swing back. Well, the problem is that when you get into these scapegoating,
Starting point is 00:01:34 you know, group scapegoating mob behavior, eventually, the mob themselves is up on the guillotine. So, it starts eating itself. No one's pure enough.
Starting point is 00:01:42 I don't know if you saw where Alyssa Milano was getting attacked by Rose McGowan. I love it. Here it comes. Here it comes. The most woke are getting, I'm woker.
Starting point is 00:01:50 Boom, you're dead. She's like, you stole my Me Too movement. It's like, yes, go at it. It's pretty crazy. Yeah, they went at each other because one of these, my buddy hooked up with one of these ladies in a motel hallway. I bet I could guess which one. My buddy hooked up with one of these ladies in a motel hallway.
Starting point is 00:02:04 I bet I could guess which one. But. Like actually hooked up in the hallway? Yeah. Or. I think it. Yeah. It really escalated out of the hallway and then moved to other rooms. Your friend needs to be careful.
Starting point is 00:02:16 You know what I mean? This wasn't recently though. I'm just saying. It seems like stuff is like. There's no. No. Statute on these things. Oh.
Starting point is 00:02:24 Yeah. Yeah. No. But I think she started it. I'm saying. Doesn't matter really. He was looking for the restroom. stuff is like there's no no statute on these things like they oh yeah yeah no but i think she started it i'm saying doesn't matter really he was looking for the restroom yeah he was looking for the restroom she's like hey how about i blow you i did well now you're now you're taking it down i don't even know man i'm just saying things escalated that happened yeah yeah the blowjob bandit there's a blowjob band she was a blowjob bandit all over comic-con one year it was nuts wow and were people scared no no i was at first until i got blown he was the object of said um oh you were a victim victim i beg your pardon victim i mean if you want to classify it as being a victim i guess but yeah she i was he was attacked yeah was he really
Starting point is 00:03:02 how so dude she okay i was with some people that i actually How so? I was with some people that I actually knew and I was with this young lady who we weren't boyfriend girlfriend but we were like. Sounds like a rape. Setting the groundwork. This other girl. And she got fucking hammered. We had
Starting point is 00:03:20 hooked up and stuff. We were there but we were in the early stage. And she got hammered concerning the hammered. White girl wasted. And then she's like. She was grooming her subject. Where are you staying? She was grooming.
Starting point is 00:03:29 She was grooming. Yeah. Where are you staying? And I go, I'm staying at the fucking Hilton. I don't remember what hotel. She's like, oh, I'm going to walk you back to your room. And I was like, I don't really think that's. Thank you, though, but.
Starting point is 00:03:41 Was she like a. I'm good. Park person or something park rangers yeah at comic-con yeah at comic-con yeah i'm gonna help you hide your food in boxes before you go to bed and by the way andrew will back me up on this i'm like not exactly like party king it was probably like 10 p.m you know i was like really do i need to be walking is she attractive she's by no means unattractive but she's not my type she's's first off. Mike has a thing. She's a blonde white girl, which is great and all, but that's not, I like you and I've talked about this.
Starting point is 00:04:10 Yes. I like. We have the same type. Ethnic, big ass, like very petite titties, but like nice, big, juicy legs. This girl was more of like a, like she was an attractive, but like a, like a sorority girl attractive. Like, you know, like Abercrombie type thing. Okay.
Starting point is 00:04:26 Poor Mike. It's really sad. I'm on the edge of my seat. I hope you're all right with all this. And I go, you know what? I'm good. I'm really on the edge of my seat, too, because you broke one of the rails off. I did.
Starting point is 00:04:37 I'm like, I'm good. You're an old chair. I don't need a walk home. I'm okay. And she said, no, I'm going to walk you home. I'm going to suck your cock. And I go, wow. Good for her. But that's so, when you're in that,
Starting point is 00:04:51 it sounds great. But in the moment, though, that's so dramatic. You're like, is this girl setting me up for something? Is this a prank show? Because a seemingly normal non-crazy girl goes, no, I'm going to follow you home and suck your cock. And you're like, wait, wait, wait. What bizarro world am I in spunked maybe with austin gutcher yeah yeah um so like wow she follows me could be a thing now really good you're on spunk dude you're not busting a nut
Starting point is 00:05:19 tonight randy yeah got you man you're on spunk but he doesn't jump out until you're hands are down enjoy your blue balls now people say we're heading towards idiocracy it'd be a perfect show for that but that's not idiocracy
Starting point is 00:05:35 that's just I mean I'd watch that like celebrity guys what happened you got the blowjob though she follows me home she follows me home I like change the subject
Starting point is 00:05:43 I have to listen to all this I'm not even getting blown. This is Spunk. She changes the subject and she follows me home. And I'm like, okay. So I finally get to my hotel room. I'm like, this is weird. I'm like, all right, good night.
Starting point is 00:05:54 She said, no, I'm going to follow you in and I'm going to suck your cock. And I don't want anything. She's like, I really want to blow you. And I go, this is so strange. You said that out loud? Yes. I go, this is very peculiar you know that right and she's like she's like just now she's like punking me she's like what
Starting point is 00:06:10 are you a bitch like i want to yeah so i go okay so i open the door and i walk in like maybe 10 feet and she just starts i have like a belt on and everything and she just starts fucking yanking on my pants yeah and i'm like whoa whoa so I undo my belt and she completes the thing and I complete the blowjob his version of the employer I arrive
Starting point is 00:06:34 and she like sits there and on her knees she goes just hug me and I go oh you mean she wasn't all mentally sane she didn't have her shit together mike then things then i got the chills and so i do but like an awkward hug like you would hug your aunt you know like i was like like an ironing board yeah and uh and she got up
Starting point is 00:07:00 and uh after like 45 seconds of hugging she got up and she left. And I never saw or talked to that girl again. Wow. Now, A, Mike was sexually abused when he was like 12. I would say that was another sexual abuse act. She found a right good victim who didn't see it as an abuse because he'd been abused before and didn't understand that it was an abuse back when he was 12. And she raped him. Wow.
Starting point is 00:07:21 Sick. You classify that as rape? That was an unwanted. Brandon, did you hear the story? I'm seeing what the doctor, not you, classifies as rape. I know what you do. Unwanted sexual contact with, you know, with. If I flip the script, a male does that.
Starting point is 00:07:38 But flip the script and it's way worse typically, though. Because let me be clear. At any point, at any point there even though i was kind of resisting i could have physically said stop it and put my hand out and been like leave now or there's gonna be trouble a woman oftentimes doesn't have that luxury and you know it does make it it's too scary for her yeah i agree and not i'm saying that you should have done something different i'm just saying that's what that was yeah and that's interesting i'm glad it didn't hurt him or traumatize him or anything it's you know i yeah and that's interesting i'm glad it didn't hurt him or
Starting point is 00:08:05 traumatize him or anything it's you know i thought the story didn't go elsewhere and she went like door to door sucking guys off well because you call her the suck okay so i didn't know her name it only takes one time to be a suck band i start you're not a bandit not a suck i start telling the story like you know back back to love line back to kevin and b and i start telling the story and everything and i, back to Loveline, back to Kevin and Bean. I start telling the story and everything. And I didn't know this woman's name. And people started, I'd be like, well, who was she? I was like, well, I know she was so-and-so's publicist because she kept telling, that's why she was at Comic-Con. And then people go, and they're like, oh, as the story grew, many men were like, oh, I know that girl.
Starting point is 00:08:41 Yes. She's a predator. She's a good time. She'd be a predator. Yeah. That Wiener Banshee. Yeah, for real. Wiener Banshee a predator. She's a good time. She'd be a predator. Yeah. That wiener banshee. Yeah, for real. Wiener banshee's sick.
Starting point is 00:08:48 That's my new band. Yeah, you want to be a wiener banshee, dude? See, what's messed up is if you're a man, if somebody tries to suck your wiener, it's right there. It's hanging out of your body. Whereas if you try to do that, you can't really, to a lady, you got to kind of go look for their wiener a little. You can't.
Starting point is 00:09:02 It's just not the same. They're not the same. Yes. Right. Yeah. You have that really, your penis is just kind of hanging look for their wiener a little you can't it's just not the same they're not the same yes right you have that really your penis is just kind of hanging around waiting to be a victim it's like a drunk guy at a park you know at a gay park someone's just taking advantage of them it's always there yeah it's always just like
Starting point is 00:09:15 essentially ready for the act yeah it's just imagine if people's women's vaginas was hanging out about seven inches from their body or if it was like on their chin you know like it'd be so easy to walk up and be like, fuck yeah. You like that? Jesus Christ, man.
Starting point is 00:09:32 Wow, dude. Yeah, you're right. Nobody ever takes that little you gotta look at it to scale or whatever it's called. Would you guys get a lot of callers on Loveline who didn't realize it was something like that? Yes, who didn of callers on Loveline who didn't realize it was something like that?
Starting point is 00:09:46 Yes. Who didn't realize they'd been raped and stuff. I didn't realize that would be rape. Well, not only that, his original sexual abuse, I had to like kind of bring him into, get it into focus for him. I never talked about it ever. I never opened up about it. And then I finally did on Loveline.
Starting point is 00:10:01 I was like 30. And I was like, do you hear these stories every night? This is one of those stories, right? It's just you're a male. You don't, you know. And you were how old? It was a, I think Utah,
Starting point is 00:10:10 a babysitter, right? No, she was my cousin's older. My cousin was like a senior in high school and this was her friend. She was like, already graduated high school. She was like 19, 20. And I was 13.
Starting point is 00:10:18 Beautiful lady? No. He has a name for her. The mustachioed succubus. Because she had, yeah. It was like similar to brendan's facial i think i bet on her on the preakness once actually handsome young lady that was though i do feel like a certain different level of sensitivity to a lot of these girls who say like i didn't say no but i didn't want to do it and i felt like the power difference right made me it was intimidating and so a lot of guys they don't necessarily comprehend that i when they
Starting point is 00:10:52 say that i go oh my god you're i get it i'm so sorry though yeah i mean but i was very horny and i definitely would think that's cool but when they actually experience it it's not so cool with a 20 year old yeah i remember i was a busboy. Uh-oh. Here we go. Yeah. So you must have been 16 at least? No, man. I started early busboying. I was busboy probably 14.
Starting point is 00:11:11 I was probably one of the 30 or 15 best busboys in Tucson. Tucson? Yeah. This is no boo. Why do you think you're still in Louisiana then? I lived in Tucson for one year during high school, and that's when I was really got it. You've really educated me about the South. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:26 I rely on you for some of that. Oh, thanks, man. Yeah, there's definitely a lot of, it's still the same. Definitely. Nothing's changed since the last time we talked, really. No updates for Dr. Drew on the South? Not really. And I'm talking about, I've spent a lot of time in Atlanta, Nashville, Asheville, Greenville, places like that.
Starting point is 00:11:43 That's not what we're talking about. Yeah, we're talking molasses that. That's not what we're talking about. We're talking about Theo's South. We're talking where it gets real risque. We're talking the stray animal belt. Where you throw gerbils out of the back of a car.
Starting point is 00:11:57 They're hamsters. We sold them. The same thing happens in the city. They're like, I've been to Los Angeles. You know, I went to Hollywood and Highland and then I went to Rodeo Drive. And you're like, go to commerce. Yeah, I got molested by some Persian guy at a Starbucks. It's different.
Starting point is 00:12:14 It's different though. You go to like. You've been? Okay, that counts. Everyone's like, I've been to New York City. I went to the Statue of Liberty. I was like, go to the South Bronx. That's also New York.
Starting point is 00:12:21 It's very different, you know. Go buy some smack over there on freaking B and 2nd and B. That's kind of an interesting topic no one ever discusses, by the way. How these environments and cities and regions get sort of a character, and we just accept that. That's just how it is. When in reality, the real lived experience, if you get out there with people, is very, very different. I'm sort of interested in that. And you've enlightened me on the south yeah well i think that's a big problem we have right now is a lot of people just
Starting point is 00:12:48 not understanding what it's like in certain places that's exactly right and there's no way that's exactly why it interests me right yeah some man yesterday i met a white man outside yesterday and he was telling me that you changed your race since i last saw you i keep talking about white people is that you white oh i mean i you know, I'm trying to. We're not sure. Yeah, I'm trying to stay on classified, you know? Okay, good. Classified is good.
Starting point is 00:13:10 Let me see your cock. I'm trying to get that. I'll tell you. Mike's white. He's Jewish, I think, right? I'm trying to get that SBA loan, dude. I'm not claiming anything right now, bro. BLM, dog, you know?
Starting point is 00:13:28 So, and this man said they were trying to come out with a virtual reality so you could see what other people's reality is like oh that's interesting so to get an idea that's a great idea because people are always like oh people from the south they're racists you know and it's just not the truth i'm just getting so tired of hearing it and then but it's just people's perceptions they I just get so tired of hearing it. But it's just people's perceptions. They just can't understand what this other place is like. If they really do an AI thing like that, it would be great. Here's Theo's neighbor's perspective age 5. Here it is age 12.
Starting point is 00:13:55 Here it is in high school. And to give those experiences to us would be fantastic. But also people's experiences are based off what they see in the media as well. Now it is. It's a big now big big problem i think we're i think we're slowly coming out of that i think the covid taught people uh that they're just trying to fuck with us yeah but you're you're looking at you're looking at like social media and like internet media i look at cable news i'm talking but even that like cable
Starting point is 00:14:20 look at mainstream real commercial media, whether it be reality shows or sitcoms and things like that. Whenever, like look at Jersey Shore. Like Vicki Gunvalson. If you've never been to the Northeast. Now, Vicki's my friend. Is she really? A little bit.
Starting point is 00:14:36 I don't even know. I just love her name, so I just thought about. It's a great name. It's like I get my news from. All those OC housewives, man. I get my news from Vicki. Be careful. It's like I just want my news from Vicky Gunvalson.
Starting point is 00:14:46 I want it straight from her. Look at that face. She's awesome. Hey, but here's the deal. Whoa. Is she awesome, Drew? Yeah, I like her. Is she fucking...
Starting point is 00:14:55 Is she Teddy Roosevelt? No. I mean, is she awesome? No. Or is she kind of easy to get along with? Let's not... I like her. Okay, fine.
Starting point is 00:15:04 She might be a nice person. She's not fucking awesome. Yeah, that's his friend's his friend though man he has gone hard in the pain i'm also a fan of this is lovely we did many many years though yeah it's a it's a finally most of our friends are sex offenders so we can't even say i have to i have to talk him down all the time because drew will be like recovering sex offenders yeah i do want to say that honest like right i i i'm 10 towards hyperbole. Drew will say, I'm going to see this film. I don't want to talk shit. But Drew will be like, I'm going to see this band on Friday.
Starting point is 00:15:31 It's going to be great. Susan and I are going. I was like, fuck you. He goes, no, they're great. They're amazing. I was like, Drew, stop. Let's pause. Let's rewind.
Starting point is 00:15:38 Is that band great? Or did they come on Loveline and they were really nice to you and you want to go support them? He goes, yeah, you're right. That's Hollywood great. Hollywood, after a while, it's like He goes, yeah, you're right. That's Hollywood great. Hollywood, after a while, it's like, oh, yeah, you got to meet this great guy, you know? And then it's a bad guy. Yeah. Or, you know, a lot of things, too.
Starting point is 00:15:53 This is his credit. This is honestly, and this is real. He doesn't realize that people treat him special. He doesn't realize he's a celebrity. He doesn't realize he's like big. Drew is very unaware of that. And it's a compliment. Thank God. Because he's very humble he doesn't realize he's like big drew is very unaware of that and uh it's a compliment thank god because he's very he's very humble but but drew will say shit like dude um and this is like at the opening of it you know he goes you gotta go see the the book of mormon
Starting point is 00:16:18 on broadway and i was like okay uh do you have a thousand bucks to loan me? And can I get in? Drew's like, oh, no, just go backstage. It's easy. It's very easy. You just go backstage and then you talk to Matt and Trey and then everyone. I'm like, Drew, what?
Starting point is 00:16:34 It was Josh. It was Josh. Exactly. I was like, Drew, that's not how it works for me. That's how it works for you. He doesn't get that. You got to go to this restaurant.
Starting point is 00:16:42 I was like, Drew, I don't have 800 dispensable dollars too man it's drewish man he's drewish also which also helps jewish princess yes that's drudyism but it helps to be dr drew man yeah fuck yeah i have no awareness that shit that's weird to me and i think it's because because i look at people that are very aware of that stuff and i I just think, I don't think you ever had a job. Right. If you really worked in the world for years, like I did, decades, killing myself, that's your self-concept,
Starting point is 00:17:13 is the guy grinding it out in the hospital. That's it. I'm still that guy. Yeah, and I think also since you provide us actually a documented service to people, like a diploma-based service, then people give that a diploma-based service, then people give that a little bit of different credit than a couple of F-tards.
Starting point is 00:17:30 I don't know. They like to knock that down. Like me and Brendan and Mike. Yeah. They like to, especially these days. Chin, yeah. For an Asian, chin is really come in pretty low. Will Will.
Starting point is 00:17:45 Dude, you know 66% of men start to lose their hair by 35, bro? Now, is this all men? White, Latino, black, everything? Urban? Yeah. Wow. Hair loss does not discriminate, brother. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:17:56 We don't have a problem. You got a set of hair. I got a set of hair. But I'm growing my hair back out, dude. Are you taking better care of it this time? I'm using hymns. Yeah. I'm trying to get that bad boy, you know, long. Get them dreads back out, dude. Are you taking better care of it this time? I'm using Hems. Yeah. Trying to get that bad boy, you know, long.
Starting point is 00:18:07 Get them dreads. Well, look, the thing is, I'm noticing too, B, about Hems is that it definitely, it's almost like as if you're a farmer or someone that owns plants. Yep. And you want to take care of them. If you just put a plant outside, who knows what happens? You got to fertilize it. Yeah.
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Starting point is 00:21:18 from an outtake of their film obviously hey Robert hey Brendan, hey Theo Matthew coming at you from montreal canada here for some sex advice oh here we go so lately in the last three years i've hadn't had sex once and i'm finding it a little bit concerning maybe Maybe a little honorable, but... Honorable? I'm just... I've hit a rough patch lately. I'm just...
Starting point is 00:21:49 I'm working all the time. I'm a plumber full-time, so it doesn't really go well with the whole schedule of just going out and meeting new people, but I'd like to know your thoughts on this. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. One part of me... It's also pureness on a playground. One a playground one part of yeah it's kind of scary
Starting point is 00:22:07 guys obviously donated most of his blood too yeah there's but he's really handsome to not be fucking for three years yeah he's not a bad which which immediately makes me think is he at us just to get late okay it's just this guy's actually really active and he just figured oh it's another way to get laid with with uh you know well he had to sneak outside of somewhere to make and go to a playground is it a playground yeah there's a playground behind him in one of the dopest cities ever montreal is the dopest place like i would not be on a playground i'd be at some poutine bar getting fucking hot montreal poontang you know jerk off out of a window in montreal it'll land on somebody hot. Someone insanely hot.
Starting point is 00:22:45 He's got to reprioritize. First of all, you don't know how old he is. I'm assuming he's an adult, right? Sometimes 15-year-olds look very... He's a plumber, though. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. He's a plumber full-time. In Montreal, the plumbers are beautiful.
Starting point is 00:22:56 This guy's one of the best plumbers. He probably speaks two languages. He's a model, for God's sake. Reprioritize. Set some time aside. It's that simple. In these days when you have apps. That's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:23:07 There's a million apps, dude. But it sounds like he said he almost felt like happy or proud of it, he said. Honorable. Honorable. So maybe there's some like thing going on. Some religious thing. Yeah. Like he feels like he should be, like he's an incel or something or, you know, that he
Starting point is 00:23:21 has some issues around maintaining abstinence. But bottom line is balance is important. Balance your life. Not just the workaholism. Put time aside to socialize. He'll be fine. And I'm assuming as a plumber, that's a Monday through Friday gig, Saturday and Sunday, with the apps too?
Starting point is 00:23:36 Yeah, but you could see how if somebody really wanted to succeed, they could be plumbing 16 hours a day. I used to tell that to Drew's son. He has triplets, and two of them are boys. And they, of course, like any young 20, you know, in their early 20s, they're concerned about pussy.
Starting point is 00:23:51 And I would talk to them about it. I was like, dude, honestly, if your 20s through, like your 20s and early 30s suck, that's probably a good thing. It's the guys I worry about are constantly clubbing
Starting point is 00:24:02 well past college age. They're not setting up their life I said really make sure That these years suck Because when you're 40 life's gonna be fucking awesome And you're gonna have money And a sense of self And you're gonna be confident
Starting point is 00:24:17 And they'll be pussy falling off of walls I think you could do both though right I think there's a balance there to Drew's point I think you could do both They need a? I think there's a balance there to Drew's point. I think you could do both. Yeah. You could set your life up and still change things. They need a visit from Uncle Mike. We need a little chat. That sounded gross. Your kiddos do? Yeah, they need a little pep talk.
Starting point is 00:24:33 How old are they now? 27. This COVID thing has been rough on the late 20s. Oh, yeah. Can't do anything. Unless you're a YouTuber throwing parties, they can't go anywhere. Jerking off a lot of men pretending gay. doing everything like that. You should write children's books for adults, Mike. That would be nice.
Starting point is 00:24:52 Nothing creepy about that. We need them, though, I feel like. I think you're right. Yeah, because I notice if I jerk off, man, I still feel pretty bad about it, man. Feel guilty? Shamed? I jerked off yesterday, I'll be really honest with you. Not before you ejaculate. I lost both my arms too actually you're you're i know when you jack up you're
Starting point is 00:25:09 different in here yeah you know it's just after you not before for ladies out there they may not understand this phenomena men feel no shame no guilt until immediately after the flu i'll look at the porno i was watching i'm'm like, you're disgusting. After. After. I cannot relate. Not before you ejaculate. After. I cannot relate. I'm already timing when's the next time I can beat off again. I do not feel that way.
Starting point is 00:25:33 Theo's disgusted. Mikey's disgusted. I have a really high sex drive. And confused. And confused. And I feel like, for me, beating off is more of marriage counseling. So let me, to that point, do you need to, like your wife is like, that's the pay she can maintain and that's that.
Starting point is 00:25:48 Yes. You've got to take care of yourself. Yes. And I'd much, instead of like, I like to unload the chamber before I even go on Instagram, before I even do anything, because then there's just less of a chance of me going astray. And so what's the rhythm for the Catherwood family now?
Starting point is 00:26:03 I would say two or three nights a week okay so it's pretty good rhythm it's a pretty good rhythm i'd say that's a lot right two or three well hold on you've been together for how long average is one and a half and two to three you're doing good one and two three nights a week there's the there's the opportunity where we'll put our daughter to bed and it's like you know 8 8 30 but you're tired and exactly and it's always it's always a crapshoot where it's like i'll present the idea to my wife and and 50 of the time she goes yeah honey let's do and then another 50 of the time she goes i'm super tired and i get it i'm always never the other way where she's where she's yeah sometimes with me it's the other way no there's never happened but you you grind harder than most
Starting point is 00:26:37 people and i also i'm also fucking gross like i mean i will admit it i i'll be i'll i've done this i've beat off in the bathroom i've done that walked into my bedroom and my wife's like can we have sex and i'm like yes we can oh god bless you you know you are you're a superhero because my it's the only way i can captain america on a contra team or something it's the only way i can be somewhat successful it's the only way i can be somewhat successful because I premature ejaculate so much. So I'm lucky. My gift is that I can do it over and over again, but I come in like 25 seconds. That's a gift, though.
Starting point is 00:27:13 It's a gift. It's a gift. Relax, dude. And how much is that? You guys have been together how long? Like half a handful? We've been married seven years. We've been together probably like a little under nine.
Starting point is 00:27:22 And then we have a kid, different animal. You know how this doctor does. I've run the cycle right so we're together since 84 we got married in 91 and we're still three times a week oh yeah oh my god you gotta get drew's wife on this show she's the best three times a week and yeah well that's after she got the prosthetic limbs because drew had already fucking smashed her in half with his gigantic Hebrew hog. That gigantic kosher log that he goes in there. I've seen it.
Starting point is 00:27:51 I'll go to visit or we'll go out to dinner. Susan just comes in walking like she's been horseback riding. We'll sometimes pick up beyond that pace. That's pretty good. Is the butt open for business? Is the butt open for business in the Penske hustle? Whoa, bro. Theo's a friend of Susan's.
Starting point is 00:28:06 You can't stand it. Relax. I don't know her, so finish this. I think I want too many email chains rather than even know it. And I mean this, and I'm not even being gross. Susan, for a woman her age, is like a 10. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:19 Very beautiful. Very kind. I would expect nothing less. That should be what women aspire to look like at that age. Three times a week. She's something Three times a week. Can we edit that out, Nick? I don't need this sort of harassment from my wife. Now, why has it changed? I feel like it's
Starting point is 00:28:34 changed over time. A lot of men don't want to have sex as much and women want to have sex more. Do you think it's like the media that makes us think that? No, there's a lot of biological changes across a lifespan, right? And so you've got to pay attention to everybody's biology. And if you don't work to maintain it, like women after menopause, things just die.
Starting point is 00:28:53 And that needn't be. You can do hormone replacement. I'm doing a lot of podcasting about the pellets and things like that to help women really enjoy their life more. I mean, they are miserable when they are menopausal, and they are so much better. Men, too, right? Particularly testosterone replacement. Men too, it's a little lower level replacement kind of thing.
Starting point is 00:29:10 But in extreme cases, I've known men, particularly head trauma patients. I talked to a personal friend of mine who was a Marine, and he served overseas, and he had serious trauma, and his hormone levels because of that were, I'm not talking low.
Starting point is 00:29:26 They were. Non-existent. Yeah, literally, he had no testosterone. That's where depression and all that came in. Oh, yeah. He started doing the TRT, and it literally saved his life. That's not hyperbole. I'm getting into it.
Starting point is 00:29:35 Fuck yeah. People have to pay attention. You should. Because a lot of what goes down as depression in the 50s and 60s in women is actually just menopausal syndrome. Wow. Or perimenopause in their 30s and 40s. Point is actually just menopausal syndrome or perimenopause in their 30s and 40s point is you can keep things really going so and i've always said that you know whatever that thing is that's there at the beginning with your wife if you can keep that
Starting point is 00:29:54 every day of every day that's still there that's a successful marriage yeah dude yeah but it's but you don't have to you have to worry about 10 years down the line if tomorrow is the same as today one step at a time. But when you were not choosing your right, but when you guys chose each other, were you able to notice some of those things in advance? Because I feel like you meet a girl and you're like, who knows what's in here? Yeah. Yeah. No, it's a leap of faith.
Starting point is 00:30:18 Let's be fair. But I had a strange reaction to her where I met her twice. And I'm really shy. I can't go out to people. And I didn't know it was the same person, and I had to talk to her both times. Oh, wow. And gave her my number both times, which I'd never done ever. Wow.
Starting point is 00:30:33 Yeah. And she was like, you're a gay man. And I didn't learn it was her until we'd been dating a year, and I saw a picture of the night where I met her the first time. I was like, oh, you were there that night? Oh, my God, that was you. That's cool. She's like, I'm dating this guy with autism like honestly taking that leap
Starting point is 00:30:49 of faith like yes and no i think a lot of guys myself included i did this for a long time you feel like you're doing something wrong by factoring in a woman's sex drive into whether or not you want to settle down with her oh no like that's got to fit together you got like don't it's not a leap of faith as much as you try different women. And if a woman's not as sexually active as you are or is sexually interested, she's not a good fit. You're not being a dick by doing that.
Starting point is 00:31:13 But also sex isn't everything, though. It's not everything. You shouldn't dismiss it as a non-factor. I like to say it's like hair and nails. It's not cancer, but if your hair and nails are failing, there's something up. There's something up internally.
Starting point is 00:31:30 Is this just a text question here? Yeah, we had some other ones, but I wanted to try to help some people. There were a couple written ones I used. Is this from Nick? Can we say semen instead of C-U-M, please? Yes. Hey guys, I was curious what causes some guys to
Starting point is 00:31:46 see ejaculate like a firehouse and some ejaculate faucet okay i've got some little junk but i can throw ropes across the room this this felt very love line yeah it is very love line so people are all i hear even joe roan making this mistake the other day. People confuse where the ejaculate fluid comes from. It has nothing to do with your testes. Wow. Nothing. That's news to me, Dr. Joe. Except the testosterone production.
Starting point is 00:32:16 The testes create sperm and testosterone. Sperm cells. The fluid is created by your prostate gland. Wow. And it is stored in the seminal vesicles, which are these, it looks like a wing almost under the prostate, these chambers that store the fluid.
Starting point is 00:32:32 And some people can produce a lot of fluid and store a lot of fluid, and like Mike can reproduce it very quickly, and they can put out big volumes. And that's just a genetic thing, that just some people are that way. Wow. There's nothing you can do to enhance your... No. Well, you can big volumes and that's just a genetic thing that just some people are that way wow uh and so there's nothing you do to enhance your no that's well you can you could refrain from ejaculate does that
Starting point is 00:32:52 help i heard it helps it helps to a point yeah it helps to a point but you can also go the other way but people like me that don't have a prostate which produces the fluid. Mike? Ghost loads? No fluid. Ghost loads. There's nothing. He jizzes and it's just like magic. You're like one of those hairless cats. I am one of those hairless cats. But does it feel the same?
Starting point is 00:33:12 Same. Same. Weird. Sounds like a Tom Clancy novel. I don't like it. I don't like that idea. I'm doing Harry Potter. I need that.
Starting point is 00:33:21 I need that end zone celebration. I need to fucking... Yeah, I want an end zone celebration. I need to fucking... I want an end zone dance. Just like a windy day and that's it? There's even no wind. It's just normal. Is there a noise? I make the noise, but that's it.
Starting point is 00:33:36 Does anybody believe you if no semen comes out? Does anybody believe you? You could fake it all the time. First of all, I don't think males are motivated to fake. You know what I mean? Oh, I've been there. Really? Anything to get me out of the damn bedroom, dude, I would do it.
Starting point is 00:33:53 There's a lot packed into that statement. I feel like you guys might need a one-on-one to save the place for it. I just get so embarrassed most of the time. But anyway, so the point is the prostate and the seminal vesicles are where all the fluid comes from. And into the seminal vesicles, the sperm just drips into the fluid to put more sperm concentration. Interesting. Oh, wow. Like that Budweiser plant. Like you ever been there in Boulder, Colorado?
Starting point is 00:34:13 Yeah. It drips in. Golden? Golden, Colorado. Of course. Yeah. So the testes are just producing cells of swimmers that make their way up the vas deferens and drip into the mix. Now, what about Korean people and other people?
Starting point is 00:34:27 Do they have the same thing? Everybody has it the same? Yes. Do some people have a more dilute bath? Thicker sweat, as you would say. Yes. There's differing, as this questioner was asking, there's a whole range of volume, thickness, and there's tapioca pudding.
Starting point is 00:34:41 There's all kinds of stuff. Dang. Well, this is like an episode of Catch a Predator. All right, let me tell you something right now, man. You know a lot of us over here are gamblers, low-money gamblers, baby LMG gang, dog. Yeah, Nick has a problem with it, bro. Yeah, Nick has a problem. But I'll throw $4 on a parlay, dude.
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Starting point is 00:37:40 guys seriously i'm not i'm not okay with this already. This is your B-bop and cock steady over here. Straight from 4chan. Pick right or left. These guys are not related at all. I want Guido on the left first. I got to talk to that guy. How old do you guys think this guy is? I'm 24 in my IROC.
Starting point is 00:37:58 He might be 37. This guy's 19. He's obviously a Cats fan. What's going on, boys? I got a question for Mike and Dr. Drew. I'm 20 years old, and I would rather hook up with a 45-year-old woman with a Motley Crue tattoo on her lower back than a girl my age. Is that normal? Gang, gang.
Starting point is 00:38:17 Buzz, buzz. Mom issues. Am I right, Drew? Well, what's weird to me is that there's a lot of that these days. And I don't know if it's a function of older women or women in women in their 40s 50s 60s are out of the sexual revolution they sort of maybe are more sexually kind of out there because we went through all that you know what i mean well it seems like now there's kind of a different movement where everybody's me too well yeah that's a thing dude if i'm a 20 year old now okay i look at a 45 year old woman who's like yeah i want to
Starting point is 00:38:46 fuck i find it let's do this yeah when i'm surrounded by 20 20 year old girls who everything seems very rigid and i'm kind of scary i would be very scared of 20 year olds are scared yeah they don't want to do something i i don't want to do anything wrong more down to no males the males are scared the males the males are i don't want anything wrong i don't be seen as a rapist i don't know me too for me they're very scared they don't know quite what the parameters are so even with that fear dr drew is it able for are they able to still but you can't eliminate your sexual desires is that possible like i know there's like maybe this different mind frame like okay i'm scared i don't know if it's okay to be sexual
Starting point is 00:39:22 that sort of thing so but are you able to physically and whatever it is, biologically, decrease the same desire that we felt as kids? So in other words, you're trying to take their perspective. Like, hmm, when I was 20, I did not find 45-year-olds attractive. But 45-year-olds were different when we were 20. You know what I mean? It's a different population. So I think they're more attractive now.
Starting point is 00:39:44 They look way better. Well, 45-year 45 year olds when you were when you were 20 45 year olds were dead I know you know because it was fucking the cowboy era that's right or they were smoking for 30 years or whatever yeah it's sexy and so your question really is why are they
Starting point is 00:39:58 so attracted to the older women and maybe that's porn there's a lot of sort of I think you're going to more of a base level theo was onto something there like i think that a lot of this is speculation i think a lot of young men associate because of this push of matriarchal statehood yeah this idea that you're everything that is masculinity is toxic masculinity somehow they get imposed with this idea that i'm really horny and i love pussy therefore i'm doing something wrong yes and and of course what
Starting point is 00:40:31 really is doing something wrong is how you act on and how you behave on it and being a lech is is wrong and and and and forcing yourself on a woman is wrong but embracing the fact that you're a horny young man isn't and and it's a probably for the 20-year-old brain, a really difficult riddle to unfold. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm asking, I think. Not even to do with the 45-year-olds. But say you're 20 years old right now. And when I was 20, you had so much sexual energy, you know, and you wanted to do sex, right?
Starting point is 00:41:01 But what if, but now your brain and the society is telling you it's wrong if you pee the wrong way you're a fucking rapist you know what i'm saying like anything if you look at your dick while you pee you're going to hell some woman's gonna kidnap you in a fucking dodge caravan all this shit right everybody's in fear yeah but does that fear still stop does it stop the does it actually curtail the biological desire i don't think so i don't think so i think the way you do that is you scare kids and sometimes that can do that right but it did the fear once you've already you're already your biology is already set it just sort of puts a cap on it makes them confused and scared that's crazy to me because then where
Starting point is 00:41:41 does that go you know goes bad that's there's always There's always a tremendous problem that comes from the dissonance between what you're told and what you're feeling. There's a real problem with that. We don't know the full effect of porn yet too. I mean a lot of the males are sort of like good with them. I have found back when we were doing a love line, a lot of guys were like, I'd like a girlfriend, but they're a lot of work. I'm okay.
Starting point is 00:42:03 I got porn. Porn really kind of takes the edge off a little bit for some of these kids. I don't know. We don't know the full effect of that yet. I'll tell you the full effect. It's not good. Porn? Yes.
Starting point is 00:42:14 For me, it has not been. I know it's like, because I feel like these haunting images in my head, I think, and it just keeps me from like- Haunting images as far as the porn you watch? Yeah, like it's fine. When you're hooked up with a girl? No, just overall. The images are fine and the videos, it's fine.
Starting point is 00:42:28 It is what it is. I don't think anybody is wrong for doing it. But I just think that then it affects the way that I could behave or think in a sexual way. Because you're being influenced by the porn you watch, right? That's the theory. You're expecting the girl to be like the girls you're watching. Yeah, or just you don't think of people like you don't think like there's somebody they do porn somewhere in this building you know i don't know where it is but let me know because
Starting point is 00:42:53 i've been let's go find let's go look let's go take a look i mean don't trust vlog it i've go i've tried to look nick knows and he's almost he's been suspended once let's just say that he just came back from suspension but now i saw the other day i saw a girl walking into one of the offices right and she had like a bag and she's got different costumes kind of thing and i'm like okay this is but but also i noticed with this girl just by my glance this is all judgment okay here's a young lady she's tired she looks like she's had a tough week or something. Like, just all the stuff you don't take into account when it comes to porn. Like, porn, you just see this finished product.
Starting point is 00:43:30 Yeah, you're, I think if I would distill it down, what you're saying is you're fearful that you will treat people like objects, not human beings. But we do that with everything. I think if it's fair to do it with just porn, we do that with our athletes, too, right? You look at them and comment, you're millionaires. Just play basketball. I'll tell you what really is.
Starting point is 00:43:45 And then you have opinions off the court. Riddle me this, gentlemen. Carolla and I have been talking a lot about this lately. Yeah. Which is that what has really happened is we treat people like cartoon characters. Yes. Like everyone in media has become a cartoon
Starting point is 00:43:58 that you're entitled to act out on, cancel. They don't really exist. They're just cartoons. And it's really, I think TV started it like in the 60s with Gilligan's Island, and it's become like pervasive now. I think as a social media. And reality. Because reality TV too.
Starting point is 00:44:14 Everyone's a cartoon. Yeah, but I think social media makes it worse too. Even politicians are cartoons. Yes. Everybody's a cartoon. Yes, everyone's a cartoon. And so it's like these aren't humans. And I think it's the same thing with pornography.
Starting point is 00:44:23 I think that's what you're getting onto. And it's causing us to behave in really obnoxious ways to humans who just happen to be in the public sphere. Also, we should take into consideration that even prior to lockdown, which has only made things worse, most people work way more hours than ever before and are making less money than ever before in comparison to how much everything costs. When I was growing up, I'm not, you know, you were in the same age bracket. When we were growing up, even regular people, there was usually a one-income household. And you were able to do it. You had a couple cars.
Starting point is 00:44:59 You go on vacation. And my friend's dads were cops or teachers. And, like, you could live a life. It's not fucking the way it is anymore. Everyone's overworked, overstressed, underpaid and then you see people on TV and on the internet who are rich and seemingly not doing anything harder than what you're doing.
Starting point is 00:45:16 You're just like, fuck this. Because you're comparing yourself to them because now if I'm a regular dude or let's say I'm an 18-year-old girl, I go on Instagram, I see Kylie Jenner in her G-Wagon and her Gucci purses. Now, or when I was a kid and I got a cool car at 16, but then I see Travis Scott with his G-Wagon. Now, instead of comparing my car to the kid who was up the street,
Starting point is 00:45:39 you're comparing it to the world now. So people have this resentment. And we all rose lead to narcissism. Yes. We're all kind of narcissistic these days, everybody. Yep. Some more than others. But if you really have a good dose of it,
Starting point is 00:45:52 like you have some childhood trauma and stuff, you're going to express envy. And envy is an extremely destructive emotion. So you're going to feel, she pisses me off. She's got what I got to bring her down to me. I got to bring her down to my side. And that's where social media is a tool to help that. That's the canceling. That's the mob. mob that's everything and that's what we're into these
Starting point is 00:46:09 days and it's really destructive it's it's again i cannot warn people enough that is a horrible instinct to be jealous and envious and knock people down that is the worst the human beings have to offer crap mentality but how do we start how is there a way to curtail like like should only cert like should you have to finish high school or do like what should you have to do to get a social like you know it almost seems like you get a driver's license right which allows you to act and behave with a vehicle and but a social media account these days is a vehicle it's like you have people, anybody, it can't even be a real person.
Starting point is 00:46:46 You don't have to have your real name on there. Say something on Twitter and they'll cite it on CNN. And could be life-altering to the person they're talking about, like destroying their life. I think a lot of people look at it as like, what can we do to get the public to start doing this? I honestly think maybe the responsibility falls within people in front in the public eye.
Starting point is 00:47:07 Maybe there needs to be a little bit more transparency in the fact that like, I think you're taught regardless of what level of athlete, athletics, politics, or, or entertainment. When you get into the public eye, you kind of create this idea.
Starting point is 00:47:22 It's this unspoken rule that you pretend like it doesn't affect you. Just keep on trucking, keep on trucking. I think the more and more we expose the fact that athletes, politicians and entertainers are actually human beings that have moms and dads and daughters and sisters and brothers. And we're like, no, you know, that really makes me feel horrible. And I've been suicidal and I feel fill in the blank because I'm a human being just like you. I happen to be in movies or I happen to play football for a living. But I'm a fucking human being with feelings. And maybe I'm not saying you should, but maybe we should all.
Starting point is 00:47:54 You know why? Because bullying face to face has a way of working out. All kids are assholes, fucking assholes. Little kids are assholes all the way up through even teenage years. But what happens is most people, unless they're sociopaths you act like an asshole and every once in a while you see how your behavior affects another person you see you look at it like oh man i really fucking hurt that guy's feelings when i made fun of him in front of everybody or in front of the football team and somebody whoops you for being an ass and i and i and then or yes someone humbles you reality has a way of filtering out
Starting point is 00:48:25 not only genetic things, but actually social things too. There's a filter where you go and you grow and that's what creates evolution. The internet divorces you from that. And maturity and selfhood and adulthood. And the internet divorces you from that. So I think maybe if we in the public eye,
Starting point is 00:48:41 even real, you know, all the way up to A-list, people like me down the Z-list, all the way up to the A-list, start to say like, you're entitled to're entitled to your opinion you're entitled to your twitter account but uh you don't know me and you just shit on me and i i that really hurt my feelings you know it does suck i don't think i would stop it i don't either maybe maybe maybe not you guys are smart though my fear is also that television is so cartoonizing of people that they won't stop they won't stop
Starting point is 00:49:05 continuing the cartoon images and then people feeling justified and acting out this is every time i i've had conversation with 27 year olds where i go look you cancel people and they can't make a living he goes at least they're i had a guy go at least they're alive i go whoa man if you've been working on something for 50 40 years it's it's your career, it's your identity, and now there's no possibility of moving forward, yeah, so what? So what? This is what's going on right now. It's like, oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:49:35 You're destroying it. Do they have an understanding? That's something inside him why he's unhappy. It's real common. He gets pleasure off them losing their game. But do they have that thing inside of us? I just wonder if the mainframe of feeling and of understanding that is in a lot of people from our generation, if it's not now in the hand and not in the soul. I think the compassion's there. What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:50:01 I think compassion's there. Just like you would say, we would see something, we would feel bad this would happen you would in the world yes and now it's just like i just wonder i start to wonder if the same set of values or understanding or empathy exists in younger people that it did this is getting in the way of developing that right but but that's my point though if you took that away and did it in a more real life fashion here here's an example right i agree that gentleman i believe his name's daryl i wish i could remember his full name but yeah he work at a um it's not that daryl what does he look like red hair uh no no he's a black gentleman uh he doesn't work at that uh he works at the jiffy lube on ventura boulevard no no i'm talking about okay this guy he i believe
Starting point is 00:50:46 he's on rogan and he he goes around hammond talking to clansmen oh yeah and he's a black guy and he he just spends time with him he does i'm not trying to change you i just want to spend time with you and through spending time with them they change they he collects their fucking hoods and he comes and these guys all come on they're like i don't know what i was thinking you know why because that's reality there's empathy in seeing someone and talking to someone and experience someone you literally don't do that it's a weird facsimile of doing it when you look at your phone or you look at your computer screen but it is not the same and until people can realize that like through human interaction it's the only way moral and ethical things can be put in place
Starting point is 00:51:25 laffy taffy ursula right there your boy let me just say though there was a famous book in the 50s a guy went out and tried to study how to deal with uh discrimination and bias and stuff and the book was called contact that contact with with another person that's different than you human connection is what takes away all that bullshit. Yeah, and it's also, but one thing we don't see in the media, there's not, they never, the full story isn't there. It's like you never.
Starting point is 00:51:53 It's a cartoon story. Always the cartoon. Clickbait. It's just the same. And it's also like, and I think we have to start looking at things not at like, I feel like it would be better if we looked at things as a people problem things as a as
Starting point is 00:52:05 a people problem than as a like i constantly feel like racism is always blamed on white people you know and i see a ton of racism that goes from all different ethnicities and we talk about it around here sometimes that there's racism across all walks and towards each other that's our brain has a glitch and that's and racism is one of the glitches we have to pay attention to so we don't fall victim to it. Now, Drew, do you do any drugs or anything like that? Right now? Not today, but overall, are you? Not in many, many, many, many years.
Starting point is 00:52:34 Really? Now, marijuana or anything, that's a legal drug. No, I keep thinking it scares me. Oh, look. She's a friend. She's amazing. She's your friend? Yeah, this is Vicki Gumbel. Yeah. No, no, look. She's a friend. She's amazing. She's your friend? Yeah, this is Vicky Gumbel.
Starting point is 00:52:47 Yeah. No, no, no. What's her name? Or it may just look like her. Oh, no. She's not a comedian. Okay. She's Chin's ex, and he screwed her over.
Starting point is 00:52:53 Not my ex. Well, Chin and – we set Chin up with Chinder a while back on a date with this beautiful young lady. Chinder? Chinder. But she's just like the rest of us. They're in quarantine and just in life, love can be kind of a, something we all-
Starting point is 00:53:10 Tricky. Tricky, yeah. Capricious. Nick, you wanna bring her in here? Chin, you wanna bring her in actually, Chin? Sure. Pretty, pretty girl. This is my first ever chinder date, Carly Rae.
Starting point is 00:53:20 Congratulations. What's up, Carly? You know, not much. Okay. Well, look, Carly, you guys want to take us. Everybody needs a little bit of luck and love and can also use some suggestions and guidance sometime. That's a little direction. A little direction.
Starting point is 00:53:40 So that's why we have here Dr. Drew and Mike. I just want to know what's going on with your love life. And if you have any questions you could use some answers for some suggestion. Um, um, love life is pretty much the same dating, nothing like crazy serious. And I don't know, that's kind of like about it how old are you you don't mind me asking I'm just just turned 26 two weeks ago all right you're right in the thick of it this is my personal opinion I'm a guy I can't put myself in your shoes but this is from what I've seen and I'm only talking through my experience wait till you're about 32 to start realistically thinking about finding a lifelong partner smart because not to their own fault men in their 20s mid-20s animals until the advanced guy can be like 26 27 like
Starting point is 00:54:36 drew sons they're they're they're pretty square away guy like me i was like 32 33 before i even had the ability to invest real um sympathy and interest into a female partner. What if she dated older guys? We should get guys in their early 30s. Yeah. You're at that age where I think it's not gross. The point is men are animals until they're about 27. We should have been caged.
Starting point is 00:54:58 We're super insecure. Shouldn't you guys have been? Shouldn't we have just caged and put in a cage? He literally was put in a cage when he was 26. Yeah, I was caged. Yeah, we are he literally was put in a cage all of us caged well yeah all of we're all going to be in a half of our friends are in cages we're going to be in a zoo soon okay you're just really insecure right you don't have a lot going on for yourself most of the time most guys most guys are 25 26 they're just they're trying to put their life together they're working they're typically really invested in their career building themselves and then they don't even get that kind of free um that that that that that that processing power to think about like oh my
Starting point is 00:55:31 god this is a human being and i gotta really listen to her when she has problems and i gotta invest my time into what's going on in her life and it's there and they're also pumping testosterone through their body so they're fucking horny monkeys. It's a really bad combo. Brendan. Yeah. But the other thing is that men, for whatever reason, males seem to need a sense of their identity in the world before they can understand who they are and then be available for another person. Yeah. Right?
Starting point is 00:55:56 Yeah. But she can have fun. You're saying before she gets serious. No, do your thing. Do your thing. Have fun. You're a living, breathing human being that has needs and desires. Go have fun.
Starting point is 00:56:06 Do your thing. I'm saying don't get serious. Or find yourself a guy who's 33 and really treats you like you're a princess. So that was our 12-minute diatribe of her telling us how old she is. She didn't ask us any questions. She was like, I was just going to king or sting it. Real Housewives of Orange County. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:56:23 Now, when it comes to these relationships or this dating do you try to make yourself a little more available and do you find that a lot of guys are like based on what mike and drew are saying are you finding that to be kind of true or what do you think i think it can go both ways i mean there's so i'm 26 i usually tend to date older because growing up you're always told like men have, what are like two years younger in maturity level. Yeah. More like 11. So maybe more.
Starting point is 00:56:53 Yeah, maybe 10. But I think, yeah, I mean, my track record is a lot of jerks. So, and then I think like the few ones that were nice, it was just timing didn't work out well. Uh-oh. Do you have a broken picker? I don't know. We got to kiss some frogs for the prince.
Starting point is 00:57:14 Well, that's true, but maybe her picker's off. She's sort of attracted to the a-holes. Yeah, you got this, Drew. Yeah, I think my picker's definitely off. Do you like the bad boys yeah kind of but i also think that i was listening to something and it was about like you know i think it may be the same with men too but just that the challenge or like the chase or the, yeah, like the bad boys, the douchey kinds. Like,
Starting point is 00:57:47 I don't know why, but somehow their women find them more interesting or maybe not all women. It's usually, yeah, it's, it's younger women. And most women outgrow that by around 22, 23.
Starting point is 00:57:59 So you need to outgrow this. It is not, you are not going to change them. It is not going to go well. Yeah. I can definitely say I'm, I'm pretty over that i will say like uh there was a period of time like i think also it just gains a lot of it comes with like maturity and dating right so looking back like obviously at college that's not dating um and then even after college just still not really being mature in dating and then now it's been a couple years and i'm 26 and um i think just even looking at the last two years like
Starting point is 00:58:33 you kind of have to like grow within yourself and i know for me like and so how did the chinder date figure into this well well chin chin and her shared a bunch of sake and then and then at the end of the day chin was like actually i'm married yeah that's how that went it was so funny because they try to do this segment called chender and i was single at the time and then right when we found carly that right around that time is when i started dating my my best friend and chin didn't tell us this or i couldn't i don't want to ruin it for everyone so i I was like, ah, it's already too late. We already did this. Committed to the product.
Starting point is 00:59:07 I get that. Yeah, she was awesome. Now, Carly, I have a question. Now, these men that you're spending time with, are these, when it comes to sexualness, are you guys, are they, are these men, you know, real confident? Are they erect?
Starting point is 00:59:20 Or what's going on there? What do you mean? Like, are just, are they, are they having having erectile problems or are you noticing anything like that with some of these younger fellas? Are they too aggressive maybe a little bit? That's your buddy.
Starting point is 00:59:34 How's Chin's bulgogi? That's what we're asking. No, I just want to know if you're seeing any sexual difficulties with these damn young. With these youngsters, yeah. No, I can't say no well okay wow i like anything i'm saying that i feel like especially with guys like in my age range and like i have friends i have guy friends that are my best friends so i know whatever they're doing well those guys are stalking you just so you know
Starting point is 01:00:06 i'm not kidding your best friends that that are your men friends they're waiting for their moment i've always said that too not that you can't not that you can't be friends with men i'm not saying that i'm saying well okay i think it's i think he overstated by saying they're stalking you here's the truth to the reality here's the reality you're very you're very attractive girl you seeming you're seemingly very nice you have a good energy about you they may not be actively stalking you but at any given point even though they're your friends they want at any given point if you're like we should just fuck they'd be like yeah yeah you're right you're totally right and i'm gonna do this right now These guys used to call us on Loveline all the time. Her friends. Well, the equivalent of this.
Starting point is 01:00:49 We heard this all the time. And they would go like, you know, did you – let me ask you this. Did you at one time – your best friends. Did you at one time have a date at the beginning of the relationship or a couple of dates? No. So you never dated these guys ever? No. Okay.
Starting point is 01:01:04 Well, that's good. Like a lot of my best guy friends like or ones that are single i should say yeah um they are just strictly friends has there been the encounter that you're talking about where a friend yeah did want to date me yes but we're not right but that would do a mic on this at any given point those boys want in the game well there's opportunity but the ones you got to watch over are the ones that you dated, and then he settles for friend. That guy's talking. Oh, for sure.
Starting point is 01:01:30 That guy's talking. Classic stalking. And are y'all doing drugs, too? What's that? That doesn't really work because- Yeah, he's a doctor, though, you know? And then you want to be friends, you're going to hook up again. Like, that's a dead giveaway.
Starting point is 01:01:45 But then are you friends, though? You know what I'm saying? I don't fuck with somebody that I'm being friends with. If I'm friends with somebody, I'm not fucking them. Yeah, my best friend let me fuck other people. You feel me? Mike, there was that one time. We weren't supposed to talk about that on the air.
Starting point is 01:02:00 I wrecked his asshole. But I'm glad to know that you are still enjoying some good times during the disease, you know? Yeah, that is good. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:08 It's important to know that people are out there in case the world ends, that people are still doing sex and people are still doing stuff. Yeah, I agree. You know what? I really appreciate chin. Keeping it real. Like a Korean man.
Starting point is 01:02:19 Pour my drink. You pour my drink. Mike knows the culture. That's right. I was blown away. I had two Korean girlfriends, and that always blew my fucking mind. The women have to pour the drink? The soju, I would be barely finished.
Starting point is 01:02:34 Boom, pour a drink. Open the door for me. Not anymore, brother. If you go on a date with a Korean in 2020, it's the woke culture. Is that true? Has it been ruined? I haven't dated a Korean girl for a long time. I made that up.
Starting point is 01:02:47 I made that up. So one of the symptoms in my life that I know I'm miserable in COVID, and really it's a symptom of how far I've sunk, is I've become obsessed with the 90-day fiancé reality show. Obsessed. Fist bump. Obsessed. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:03:01 I can't get enough of it. And that's a sick symptom. Oh, yeah. But as a result of many many hours of viewing of that hazard is that what you do yeah yeah great show um i uh i've learned about other cultures in this male female stuff that's crazy how about the african guy oh my god and his culture hold on you need to bow down to the man and take care of him. What do they call it? Submissive.
Starting point is 01:03:25 Yeah. And she goes, I'm American. It ain't happening. I'm telling you right now. It ain't going to go down like that. They love it. They casted that perfectly. It's the best. Hey, I want to point out real quick.
Starting point is 01:03:36 Are you talking about Soulja Boy? Soulja Boy. Is it a new season? No. We'll sit down and watch it with you sometime. It's so good. Let's do a viewing party. We'll have our own pillow talk.
Starting point is 01:03:44 Yeah. With King and the Snake. Yeah. We'll come over there and do it. That sometime let's do a viewing party we'll have our own pillow talk with King and the Snake that's a great idea I'll watch a couple episodes she's like traditional south and she's like very like women power and then he's straight from like Kenya or Nigeria Nigeria
Starting point is 01:04:00 and there it's like the woman stays at home takes care of the man all the elders in the family the females are like Nigeria. Nigeria. And there, it's like the woman stays at home, takes care of the man, has the food. All the elders in the family, the females, are like, well, of course, you'll submit to him. And she's like, well, I'll do what? She's like, this is over. She's like, I'm American. She's a damn Dixie chick.
Starting point is 01:04:16 She sounds like one of the darkest Dixie chicks. They're just Dixie now. They're just Dixie now. You can't say Dixie chicks. Thank you so much for jumping in today. You'll be great. Yeah. You'll be great. You got this. You're fine.
Starting point is 01:04:26 Yeah, you're fine. Yeah, you're doing fine. We're not worried about you. But I'm with Drew. Your best friends are crazy. Well, just be careful. That's all. Just know, look at their motivation. And I do think men and women can be great friends. That's not my thing at all. But sometimes harbor, people harbor a little desire behind that. I've
Starting point is 01:04:42 loved being married because of that. That has been a great female friend. That has been a great gift. I have legitimate female friends because my motives aren't really rancid. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:52 Do they look like warlocks? No, no, no, no. Like Katie Ellis. Jason's Katie Ellis is fucking fine. And if I was single, it would be weird if I was her friend.
Starting point is 01:05:01 Now, especially because Jason's wife is like, like it's well, your buddy's wife, like Dr. Drew's wife. But even like my wife's, my wife's friends who are oftentimes actresses
Starting point is 01:05:10 and shit, and they're like fucking crazy hot. Like I love the ability to have. I'm saying you meet a girl at a coffee shop. I'm not making friends with her. That's why I'm too dangerous. If it's your buddy's girlfriend
Starting point is 01:05:19 or wife, then you can be friends with them. Right. But if it's just an outsider and she's single. Yeah. But even it's just an outsider and she's single, there's no way. But even girls like coworkers that are attractive, I,
Starting point is 01:05:28 now I feel really comfortable like being like asking, just talking, having conversations, engaging in that way because I'm not, my motives aren't the same, you know, like. I like that too.
Starting point is 01:05:37 I think some of that's also just as I get a little bit older, I'm just able to recognize like, you don't have to try to be sexual towards any woman who just kind of shows you attention or you don't all, you know know sometimes it's just going to be a bad idea well it's like it's like cat you know cat's probably my best one of my best female friends she's a single 24 year old you know i i don't look at i don't mean it's almost like she's this little sister right here but i will say this younger girls now, though, and I mean obviously legally aged humans. I'm glad you said that.
Starting point is 01:06:09 You bet. You bet. But I definitely get more scared now of even talking to a girl probably. Imagine you're 27. You know what I mean? You're 25. How scared would you be? Oh, I can't even imagine.
Starting point is 01:06:27 Hey, good times. I just don't want to do any crime what's your favorite episode of 90 day fiance yeah uh oh i like the one when uh homeboy he's like russian or something and they fly all the way from the states to boldova and they get there in the fight and the dude then the brother about to fight not about they're in there each other's faces. He's like, we'll go outside. I'll show you
Starting point is 01:06:47 because he has a sketchy pass. They're like, why were you in Dublin? Ireland. Yeah, why were you in Ireland? And he's like, please just stop with the questions.
Starting point is 01:06:54 They keep picking at him and then finally he's like, shut up. First time he's meeting him. And I see the evil hand of producers behind a lot of it too. They're just pouring the alcohol down. Yeah,
Starting point is 01:07:02 there's a lot of alcohol and then they both stand up. They're about to straight up fight. It fantastic i love that do you think there should be any repercussions to some of these production companies that are just pouring gas into people's reality tv i understand that i understand that it's not though thea's on to something you're looking at it from a seasoned not only a professional athlete but a guy who has grinded in the entertainment industry and you've developed a kind of a maturity in it.
Starting point is 01:07:28 Imagine if you're from Theo's hometown, you're 19, 20, you come to LA and some fucking exploitive, disgusting producer comes and they're like, it's going to be great. Go on The Bachelorette. You're going to be awesome. I've had that happen. And then they pour alcohol down your face.
Starting point is 01:07:43 And then you're having this existential thing on set and they go, I'm going to talk to you. You're totally right for hating that guy. And they fucking push it. I've had that happen. It's manipulative and horrible. That's my childhood. Watch the scripted series Unreal. Because that is
Starting point is 01:07:59 an accurate portrayal of how it goes down. And if you still want to do it, then it's on their adults. It's on them. People kind of know what it is now. Well, it's interesting because when I was young, or when I was young enough to be 19, they hadn't had reality television out there.
Starting point is 01:08:20 They only had a few years of it. So it wasn't- It was just road rules. Yeah, road rules and real world like it was it so you would you could go into reality tv as a contestant or as a cast member and be yourself still you weren't savvy to the game right now i don't know where the producers yes they weren't upping the they weren't upping the game the same way agreed it was different i remember a lot of it is casting a lot of it how they cast but i know exactly what they're doing oh yeah at night we would spend time playing.
Starting point is 01:08:46 Somebody had an instrument. There were people there that were doctors that are now politicians that were just spending a two-week or a month period taking out from their lives. And at night, we'd sit around a campfire. It was a little different. And then it escalated to where it was just there would be no milk, but there would be tequila. But even on Ultimate Fighter, it's like, you know, you have this list.
Starting point is 01:09:07 Every night you give the list, the next morning the food would come. If we asked for, you know, burger meat or chicken breast, it would come, you know, maybe by midday. If we asked for alcohol, it would be there that night. Right. So, Frank's religion is no dummy. So, that has been the alcohol piece is the part that I always have been concerned about. I'm sorry, Drew. What did you say?
Starting point is 01:09:27 The alcohol part is the part I've been concerned about. And to some extent, I'm being a bit facetious in saying that the producers were forcing the alcohol. It was probably some local Moldovian film crew. Let's face it. It's provided. And it's provided. And they weren't really drinking that much. I think they backed off that.
Starting point is 01:09:44 I think people understand that that's not cool. But here's what I don't like. Maybe in some of the MTV ones. But here's what I don't like about it. There's an inconsistency. And you and I both know this firsthand. Yeah. Because in one way, they take innocent reality TV stars.
Starting point is 01:09:58 I know they're adults. Whatever that is. But they're still just normal humans. Yeah. And they put them in the pit of fire and they push it. A heightened situation. That's right. They also, at the same time, television producers overly protect politicians and established entertainers.
Starting point is 01:10:14 You know, when we have to do an interview with fill-in-the-blank politician or a big celebrity, there's like, this is exactly what you can and can't ask. This is exactly what you can't topic. You can't even go into this and make sure that there is this and this on set or else we're not showing up. And so there's an inconsistency where they're taking the average Joe and the average Jane and they're fucking with them as much as possible. But yet overly protecting the people that we probably most need to get to the bottom. Well, like I have a buddy who did a thing on a large network we all know. And it was a competition comedy thing and he went out there and crushed it and crushed it and gets back and they go you know man with your
Starting point is 01:10:50 childhood would your uh dead you know father and uh friend what what would are they here and he's like what like and they keep prying he's like oh this isn't about comedy at all yeah you guys trying to paint this narrative it's a reality show and he he's not savvy doing it at all and he's like no i just crushed on stage i'm good man i'm not thinking about my dad or my dead friend i'm thinking about beating in this competition he didn't get selected because he's not going to play the game they're not going to be even though he's the best comic by far there they didn't pick him because he wouldn't play the game i saw the comic who ate shit but had some childhood trauma and talked about it and that but the interesting thing also and i'll just finish just finish up kind of the point I was making.
Starting point is 01:11:28 I'm slow to get to points because I don't know sometimes what I'm exactly going to talk about. But I'm saying this is that now people grow up watching enough reality TV that when they get to a show that they're on, they already have a character that they're going to be. It's almost like it's just it's it's so it's so bizarre cartoons well look at the real housewives you need the real housewives man you watch the real housewives and it's insane i told you dog fucking vg dog gd rambleson dog till i die that get back to one of the earlier points we're talking about is how people make an assumption about a certain part of the country if you watch beverly hills housewives you think that's how people are in beverly hills you watch the hills you think that's how people are in la you watch jersey shore you think that's how
Starting point is 01:12:10 and it's like dude i lived in jersey for two years some of the most fucking educated thoughtful people and it's like but they love to create this idea that it's all guidos they love to create the idea that everyone in the south is this fucking toothless racist. And it's like, dude, what are we doing? You got to remember that humans, the whole nature of drama, I mean, what did Sophocles write about, right? Sick people acting sick. All drama is that. Humans are drawn to the narratives of other humans engaged in extreme and usually pathological behaviors. We don't, you know, a healthy family sitting down at dinner,
Starting point is 01:12:47 are we going to watch that? Hell no. That's boring. But the family striking each other in the head and throwing spaghetti and stuff, we're in. We're going to watch that. On a much higher scale too. Sometimes it's like are we actually creating bad stuff
Starting point is 01:13:00 or are we just creating exactly what we really want? No, the market decides and and and there is where we have uh the consumer is to blame too because it goes it goes in a more important level too how many stories are you going to see on cnn or the new york times about a cop who fucking risks his life to go into a burning building to save a family or a cop who who dives in front of an open fire you know any news it doesn't it doesn't and that fucking shit happens a lot i've watched with my own eyes i've watched cops spend all day trying to counsel fucking crazy homeless people in venice i watch it way more often than the other stuff within the stuff we see the negativity we see on tv but news
Starting point is 01:13:40 has become a reality show narrative also it's all all WWE. It's all turned into wrestling. Their narratives are their narratives, and they stick with those narratives. Let's get back to a little more sex before y'all leave because we need help. Yeah, we all need help. And Nick's been going through some issues. You want to ask anything personally, Nick? I actually think they're all pretty good. He's got a girl now.
Starting point is 01:13:58 He's got a girl now. Nick's been around me for a long time. Oh, my bad. You know that? Oh, because of Corolla too, right? I forget that Nick was getting help before he even got here. Yeah, we used to have private sessions. You know what?
Starting point is 01:14:10 You know what? We were supposed to. How dare you? You know why I love Adam Corolla? He's one of the only guys right now who, you know, he's not on any network TV or nothing. His opinions. He just says it. He says it.
Starting point is 01:14:23 He's always been that way. Yeah. And people people what's the comedy for me is and for him too they're always like dude you've changed adam you've changed i'm like no i've been with him the whole time yeah this is this is him he's always been like this stay in the same stuff he's just you're just hearing it now we have so much disingenuous bullshit in front of our eyes on camera you know all these celebrities now who are activists and adam is the same dude he was when he was a fucking out of work boxing trainer yeah you know all these celebrities now who are activists and Adam is the same dude he was
Starting point is 01:14:46 when he was a fucking out of work boxing trainer yeah you know begging to get on the air he's a fucking same guy same opinion that's cool exactly I love it you know it's interesting too as you go through life there will be times where you're a fan of somebody and the times you're not a fan and the times where you're a fan again isn't that pretty fascinating here's what's a bummer about Adam you know he's just being his authentic self is that we admire that and that's rare and you have to seek that out well and then he gets shit for it lots of it he gets it but he's gotta be careful again you can't cancel him because he's doing his own show right it's kind of like trade clay travis with when it comes sports media his yeah okay his his opinion is not the popular opinion you're not going to see it on espn or
Starting point is 01:15:23 fox anything like that but it it's really what most america's thinking but if he was on espn or something like that he's gonna get canceled like have you seen what max kellerman yeah he's saying the sec is full of stupid people playing football all right dude the majority of people don't think that way he's gonna max kellerman's a pussy bro he couldn't fucking catch a ball could he no fuck what the fuck is he talking about he can rap he's a white rapper and he's couldn't fucking catch a ball, could he? No. What the fuck is he talking about? He can rap. He's a white rapper. And he's never grown up with the SEC. Dude, people in the South, a lot of them,
Starting point is 01:15:49 they would way rather see a football game if they're like, you're going to die. They'd be like, that's fine. You have two days left. Can I at least see Alabama, Auburn before I go? It's just what makes them the most happy. It's like saying to somebody in Silicon Valley, like, oh, there's a code over there under that bush or something.
Starting point is 01:16:06 And you know what? People don't experience it. They look at it from afar and they fucking judge. You go to Norman, Oklahoma and watch a game. Go to fucking – go to any – go to Georgia. Go to Alabama. Go and be in that stadium. Experience that and tell me you don't say like this is it.
Starting point is 01:16:22 This is living. It's also life for them. This is living. It's also life for them. This is living. It's also life for them. You got to imagine if you shut down college football or those conferences, it has a ripple effect. The broadcasters and the advertisers and the people in the stadium and the kids who had a chance to go to the NFL. You shut all that down. It's this ripple effect.
Starting point is 01:16:39 People don't even think of it. And COVID, let's shut it down. It's like, well, hold on. Let's look at the actual numbers and the facts. Why would we shut it down? And let's, well, hold on. Let's look at the actual numbers and the facts. Why would we shut it down? And let's not make an emotional decision. And well-being. Like, let's not overlook that.
Starting point is 01:16:51 If you're living in Oklahoma and you work your fucking ass off money through Friday, the fact that you can spend Saturday, all your friends, everyone getting together, putting on the red and going like, let's go, roll tide. There's fucking a lot of value in that. You remember that shit. And people, you can't just overlook that that's important dude it's so important and to some people it's the best thing that you do you know it's the and it's a great thing man it's interesting in my family over the
Starting point is 01:17:15 years the most uneducated what most people would do they deem the most uneducated are the happiest people in my family by far man i mean way happier than, way happier than... Ignorance is bliss, man. Yeah, and it's just crazy and not the most affluent at all. Are they using their hands every day in their work? Yeah. I feel like people that are engaged in the world with their hands problem-solving and building
Starting point is 01:17:36 are happier now than everyone who's in their heads. Yeah, you're right. There's that Mad Men episode. Yeah, they are. Not to harp on this too much. And it makes me jealous when I see them. It's like I'll go into their home and I'll be like, this home it's not clean they got lizards on me and shit you know what i'm saying and they got illegal animals in there but um and they're and they but they're
Starting point is 01:17:54 loving it and their kids are the best kids right and it's just it and it's not even i'm saying that because it's my family i'm just saying it surprised me it surprised me as I get older and I get caught up in things. And I'm like, man, there's something I'm missing about my own joy. Is it because we're in L.A.? I don't know if it is or not. I don't know. I think it's definitely because I'm inside of my head. Let's get to a little more sex before we get out of here.
Starting point is 01:18:16 All right. Good. Because I've refrained from moving out of L.A. California is such a goddamn mess right now. So fellas, gang, gang, both of us. It's going to get worse if Biden wins. It's Kevin. I'm coming from a small town in Illinois.
Starting point is 01:18:31 I actually just moved here from Cali. The Beatles behind it. Finally got the hell out of Cali. Good for him. I moved here right before lockdown. Smart. So I'm just now getting into the dating scene and this little Midwest new vibe I've got.
Starting point is 01:18:44 And I wanted to get some relationship advice from you. Where did you move to? Illinois. Little town Illinois. So my question is there's a lot of these country girls who have kids, like some with a lot of kids. And your boy crushed it over the
Starting point is 01:19:00 last couple weeks. I was doing pretty well. Before I just got the Rona last week. He got it? pretty well. Take it easy. Before I just got the Rona last week. He got it? Yeah. Brendan, Rona Brothers here. Shit ain't shit, man. Rona Brothers.
Starting point is 01:19:10 Made me stronger, bro. My card is better. Anyway, I'm wondering, do I go after these girls who've got like two, three kids and hopefully, probably are done having kids? Or do I hold out for that no baggage hitter and run the risk that someone's trying to pinch a little semen nugget out of me and turn it into a human being? So I want to hear what you guys have to say.
Starting point is 01:19:38 Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. So first of all, we need to promote the fact that most coronavirus cases are like you and this guy. I mean, it's really the majority of cases. That's 99% of people are fine. Yeah, literally 99%.
Starting point is 01:19:51 But the media wants you to think that's tragic. I know. Is everyone like, yeah, I had a little coronavirus. I had H1N1 back in 2009. God damn, it nearly killed me. I wouldn't say N1's a racist slur on us. That was horrible. That was some real shit.
Starting point is 01:20:01 Yeah. And so we need to promote the fact that this guy, you, that's the face of coronavirus. Drew, you can't. You can't. He's doing it if you just let him do it. But he hasn't had corona. I haven't. And he also gets shit on all the time for saying that.
Starting point is 01:20:14 He had the MH1M1, dude. AIDS. That's in the past, bro. Yeah, but it's still serious. I get shit on all the time for trying to make this point. And you guys are living embodiment of this point. You can see how healthy everybody, everyone's fine. He got through the flu. My entire family got into it. Be this point. You can see how healthy everybody, everyone's fine. You got through the flu.
Starting point is 01:20:26 Be careful with mom and grandma. Because of you, Brendan. Yeah. And guess what, Theo? Everyone was fine. I knew that. Yeah. I mean, listen,
Starting point is 01:20:34 your probability of dying of coronavirus if you're under 35 is.0001. I mean, I have a 10% probability of dying of prostate cancer. I consider my prostate cancer cured. Right. Cured. 90% probability of not dying prostate cancer. I consider my prostate cancer cured. Cured. 90% probability of not dying? I'm in that 90%.
Starting point is 01:20:48 Then why is the whole world closed then? It's because I think really from the beginning I've been saying this, and I'm saying it again, the press created this panic porn. This panic. And to be fair to everybody, we didn't quite know what we were getting into, but now it's pretty clear what this
Starting point is 01:21:04 thing is. Let's behave accordingly. Let's learn to live with it and wear our mask and do our thing. And even the news, though, is backing off, though. You don't see a lot of it, man. Like on the news, you really don't see a lot of it these days. I know. They've transitioned to other stuff.
Starting point is 01:21:16 I do a nightly show on Channel 11 here. It's the Fox affiliate, like Family Guy, Simpsons kind of Fox. Yeah. And we do a recap every night of what's going on with coronavirus, and we're calming everyone down. That's what we've been trying to do the whole time. Doing the Lord's work, man. But anyway, back to this guy and these women.
Starting point is 01:21:32 He needs to be careful because people with – women with children have – first of all, you can date them, right? We all agree with that? He should be willing to go out with these ladies. No problem with that. Yeah, beautiful ladies. Yeah, but also don't waste their time.
Starting point is 01:21:46 Don't waste their time because they may be needing to get going because they've got a whole thing going on that they have to create resources for. And so they may not be looking for a guy just to date, but he can still. See, one of the things that bothers me about dating is everyone puts so much into it. Just enjoy another person's company for dinner. Yeah, relax. It's okay to do that and hang out. It's good for you.
Starting point is 01:22:08 It's good for you to learn about other people and learn about your town and enjoy being attracted to that person but maybe not going further with her or not being attracted and learning about yourself. Whatever it is, go hang out with these people. That's fine. But I don't think he should really engage in any relationships with people with with kids unless he wants to raise those kids agree that's it period yep yeah that's a great point i think there's a yeah so i'll put dating on such a pedestal in my head like oh i'm
Starting point is 01:22:35 gonna date i gotta date him but you know it should be just hanging out just hang i i used to love dating for that reason when i was like a resident so i was like this is fun eating people yeah just wherever it goes don't worry about it yeah hey you want to go grab a coffee sometime make for that reason. When I was in like a residence, I was like, this is fun. Hating people, yeah, it's great. Just wherever it goes, don't worry about it. Yeah, hey, you want to go grab a coffee sometime?
Starting point is 01:22:49 Make it easy. I think sometimes, especially for guys, I notice for myself, I make it so big in my head that it's a hot air balloon. Women do it too. Oh, they do?
Starting point is 01:22:55 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But again, the hard part is if you're really, really attracted to somebody, it's hard not to do that. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:02 But you got to watch yourself. I also think that the value of like that release where if you're so consumed about like the end goal you know i must meet a woman i must meet a guy it kind of deteriorates from your ability to just develop yourself and when you when you really lose sight of like of i need to get to the finish line and just work on becoming a better theo or becoming a better brendan you know it's amazing how things kind of magnetically. In an interpersonal context, how you learn about forming and breaking
Starting point is 01:23:29 and congregating and sharing and move along. Yeah. Yeah, and also somebody you meet that could just be a friend, don't push that envelope to get that ass or get that titty, man. Listen to Theo. Yeah, if you get somebody that just could be a friend, they might introduce you to the love of your life, you know? So keep that mercenary mindset, Theo, is what he's saying. Yeah, if you get somebody that just could be a friend, they might introduce you to the love of your life, you know?
Starting point is 01:23:45 So keep that mercenary mindset, Theo, is what he's saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's what I'm saying. Yeah, another one, Nick? That's actually about it. We're about 90 minutes. Oh, wow. That's good, man.
Starting point is 01:23:55 Wow. I feel like we're just getting started. We helped nobody. I don't know, man. I feel better. I always feel better. I didn't know that you guys were so smart. I mean, I knew Drew was.
Starting point is 01:24:04 I didn't know Mike was. Mike's smart. They're both smart. I don't know that you guys were so smart. I mean, I knew Drew was. I didn't know Mike was. Mike's smart. They're both smart. I love that. Mike's got some interesting insights. Yeah, man. He has lived experience, man. Yes. He almost seems like you pulled him in out of the practice area. I always said, like, Drew and I worked because I'm not like Carolla. I don't have that acerbic wit or that insight that Carolla has.
Starting point is 01:24:26 But what I do have is like. Empathy. I'm a big drug addict. I'm a serious, desperate drug addict. I've had horrible relationships with women. I've had terrible and great relationships with women. And I have a great marriage. I, like I always said, Drew is a great football player.
Starting point is 01:24:41 Or excuse me, a great football coach who never played. But I've got 25 years in the league you know it's like and we kind of worked that way a little willie nelson head towards wrap up with the one story about the woman you spent the weekend with in vegas can we help this guy and then go to your story okay this one broke his dick yeah this one was very love lining as well hey theo brendan mike and drew i work for fedex and have had some something very strange happen to me i pick up a lot of extremely heavy packages during the day during the lockdown numbers increase as well as weight of the packages sometimes when i'm picking up packages upwards of 100 pounds you have to put your body weight into throwing them
Starting point is 01:25:12 onto shelves of the truck well i had two very heavy packages catch the edge of the shelf and the package and the force of my body turning into the package smash my penis very hard i have now developed peroni's disease from the trauma no I am with the love of my life, but this is emasculated and I'm worried she will become frustrated and leave. Is there a way for this to be fixed? I'd love to hear Dr. Drew's response. Gang, gang, broke dick.
Starting point is 01:25:35 Yes, yes. See a urologist. There's a lot to be done for Peyronie's now. All kinds of stuff. Curable, curable. No problem. But if he doesn't get it fixed, it can affect his ability to have an erection. It causes pain in your partner during intercourse. It's a mess and it can get worse. It's a scar that forms on one side
Starting point is 01:25:52 of the penis that pulls it in that direction. So you get a big curve. So his acquired Peyronie's, it is quite treatable. What if my penis is kind of shaped like a candy corn? What is that? I like that. Which direction? Oh, skinny part at the top. That's better. Probably for wedging.
Starting point is 01:26:07 Yeah, it's like a... It's like an auger. What was the story you wanted to end on? He wanted me to end. I always feel terrible telling it, but I went to Vegas. It gives you an example of what happens if you're way in your disease of addiction and it affects relationships.
Starting point is 01:26:24 I went to Vegas for new year's Eve 2000, 2000 into 2001, not the millennium. Sure. And I started part, it was like December 29th and we drove out to Vegas and I started drinking on the way, hitting acid,
Starting point is 01:26:36 eating sheets of acid and fucking. I remember getting to Vegas and then gambling a little bit and I was like stumbling. And that's all I remember. Next thing I know, I wake up new year's day and my friend days later is that like two or three and i three days later i remember like waking up new year's day my friend waking me up and he's like we're going everyone's down at breakfast let's go eat i was like all right fuck so i rolled down there and there's like a long table of people that i recognize and it's like a people on both sides and i walk around i'm like hey dude hey what's up I recognize and it's like a people on both sides and I walk around
Starting point is 01:27:05 I'm like hey dude hey what's up man right and then I start introducing myself to the people I don't know and I was like hey nice I'm Mike nice to meet you and this girl goes okay nice guy then I meet go to the end of the table and I was like hi I'm Mike nice to meet you and this girl looks at me like I just killed her puppy and she walks away like with her head in her hand I was like what the fuck and people informed me that not only had I been having sex with this girl for the last couple days, but I'd been parading around Las Vegas, going on dates, holding hands, and being romantic with her. And you don't remember anything. And I just introduced myself to her.
Starting point is 01:27:36 I have no... Jesus Christ, man. I felt horrible. Still to this day, I talk about it. I'm like, oh my God. Damn. It's like that movie Arachnophobia. Have you seen Arachnophobia? I have.
Starting point is 01:27:46 John Goodman? Yeah, I love that movie. Me too. More like Schindler's List, but I get what you're saying. Yeah, addiction has consequences. Yeah. It's all bad, man. Well, we thank you guys for coming in, man. Pleasure.
Starting point is 01:28:01 Thank you. Anytime. Honestly, it was a great time. At Blackout, dude. BLM, bro. Black, it was a great time. That blackout, dude. BLM, bro. Blackout. Lives matter. However, yeah, whatever you do, you got to support it, man. You know? We appreciate you guys.
Starting point is 01:28:14 Yeah, you too. Thank you, guys. My wife said, tell T.O.E. to come on our podcast or stream or whatever. I want to. So here I am. Maybe we'll do that. Why don't we watch the show? I need to catch up on the show. Maybe Beyonce and do a pillow talk.
Starting point is 01:28:23 Pillow talk. Where should we do it? It's a fantastic idea. Should we stream it or record it? No, we should record it together. Do it in a bed. In a bed. It's pillow talk. Or a couch. You can do it on a couch. Don't get sued calling it pillow talk.
Starting point is 01:28:36 You have way more bedrooms than me. I don't think they own the name pillow talk. They have a show on. I'm aware. I see it all the time. It's an homage to them. By the way way the pillow talk part is my wife's favorite part of the 90 day it's what i preferred over the actual show who's your favorite couple oh i like the couple who's in florida the the he's he's super jewish he's israeli israeli yeah they have the new baby yes yeah this is so oh oh, and I love the real fat guy in the Thai girl.
Starting point is 01:29:06 Oh, my. The guy. Ed. Ed. Ed. Oh, little Ed. Yeah. Beautiful little fella.
Starting point is 01:29:11 And he's doing cameos now, too. You know what, though? He keeps his sense of humor about all of it. He does. God bless him. God bless him. Oh, have you watched the twins' new spinoff? The Denise and-
Starting point is 01:29:21 Yeah, I've been subjected to that. That's not my thing. Oh, that seems bad. That is my wife's thing. I am not into it yeah i feel bad for those two yeah it's a it's a tragic right yeah we're talking about reality let's do a separate talk show about reality i talk all day about reality shows nick those are some of the hottest shows aren't they those covered shows yeah i uh they're huge
Starting point is 01:29:42 the ones just recapping reality shows or actually do one let's do it drew okay 90 fiance would be a great one because you guys could do it in a series i'll come do a couple of episodes because i'll just be a guest but you guys could do it i mean i'll do it we should all do it great i'm in i'm in it'd be fun to sit and talk about that it's so fun it's so entertaining man and if you guys were just watching it and pausing, it could be really low time investment too. It doesn't have to be like, yeah. We could do a whole series of them, different shows. It'd be interesting if we all watched it,
Starting point is 01:30:14 even whether we did some of it together or separate, and then just recorded ourselves watching it and commented at certain moments. Oh, that's good. Like a reality, like a video. And then add that into it when we're all together. And here's ed and britney griner right here he's got a little neck ed he's got a little cross there yeah he has
Starting point is 01:30:35 trouble with the jab doesn't he doesn't he can't quite pull his shoulder up high enough oh he's that dude's eating a lot of jabs bro huh a huh? A lot of what? You guys do Pillow Talk on 90 Day Fiance. We'll do Pillow Talk about like brazzers or something. No. Oh. Nah, dude. I'm out. I'm out. I bet we could get these people on, too.
Starting point is 01:30:53 Of course you could. Easily. Now, I want to do that love on the spectrum, autism love, man. That's what it says. I started with that. I started with that. And I don't... I personally...
Starting point is 01:31:03 It's just something for me. You didn't like it? I'll tell you what I don't like. I don't like the sanctimonious British talk. They're Australian, Drew. Whatever it is. It's just, here's this soft-spoken bullshit. I hate it. I hate it. So I can't.
Starting point is 01:31:17 It's too distracting for me. What I liked was the Indian matchmaker. We've got to do that one, too. No, I've seen that. My name is Michael, and I happen to be a 25 year old man he's great yeah i'll tell you what you are gonna get a grade a husband i love that guy yeah i love him too well maybe we'll have a new show starting up yeah that's a good idea mike and drew thank you guys so much. Always. Anytime. Like I'm fresh off keto Seein' red like Andrew Santino Every song I hit like the great Bambino Brennan ate the queso and the quesoritos But everything's gonna be fine
Starting point is 01:32:09 Hate on me, I do not mind Theo lookin' like the type of dude That got a pack of matches in his pockets at all times They slide into my DMs A couple of you tried but couldn't beat him Quit playin' like Nintendo DS You don't want to smoke like Joey Diaz Meanin' y'all edible
Starting point is 01:32:24 Just got my eyebrows threaded and I'm feeling incredible. Brennan's son hit me up. He said it's too loud in the club. Can you pick me up? King and the sting. King and the sting. King and the sting. Bee sting. Rat king. King and the
Starting point is 01:32:39 sting. King and the sting. Got the bees in a trap. Got the cheese on a string. King and the sting. King and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting Got the cheese on a string

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