The Golden Hour - Episode 93: Gorgeous Horses: The Halloween Special

Episode Date: October 30, 2020

The guys all dress up in Halloween costumes, play Halloween Candy Draft and talk Suicidal Magicians, Horse Dongs, Seal Team 69, Nick and Chin's Flat Asses, KATS fan Costume Submis...sions, Jay Schaub's Penguin Fight and much more!BetterHelp - https://betterhelp.com/katsBlue Nile - https://bluenile.com/ use code: KINGSTINGLiquid IV - https://liquidiv.com/ use code: KATSButcher Box - https://butcherbox.com/katsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 I hung out by the bar. It was like you could just have any drinks you want. So I'd go to the bar and get whiskey. And there was like a crowd there from a group from Alabama, like real, real Southern boys. And one has a Trump shirt on. I'm there with my father-in-law at the bar. And he comes over and goes, I hear you're from Hollywood.
Starting point is 00:00:19 I go, no, I'm not from Hollywood. I live in LA. But he goes, yeah, you're Mr. Hollywood. I went, not Hollywood. No one would say I'm Hollywood. Were I live in LA but he goes yeah you Mr. Hollywood not Hollywood no one say I'm Hollywood were you wearing that? no back off my broccolini
Starting point is 00:00:33 get your life together it is don't touch me bro I'm not touching you dude that mustache what's up dog he's eager huh that thing looks eager yeah things That mustache. What's up, dog? He's eager, huh?
Starting point is 00:00:47 That thing looks eager. Yeah, that thing's a little lightning ball up there. Dude, you'd be good out in the wild, I feel like, with that. It's me, Wario. Is that how he talks? It's me, Wario. Mario says, it's me, Mario. Wario just kind of says his name.
Starting point is 00:01:03 It's me, Mario. Wario. Oh, that's right. He's more like me, Wario. It's me, Wario just kind of says his name. It's me, Mario. Wario. Oh, that's right. He's more like me, Wario. It's me, Wario. What do some of the other ones make? Are we going to guess some of people's outfits? Because it's a little tough, I think, for the fans.
Starting point is 00:01:17 So I'm Wario from Mario series. You'd be Tranny Annie. I'll take it. I'll take it.'ll take it Tranny Andy Chappelle looks homeless Chappelle is an urban haunted house employee no
Starting point is 00:01:30 Corey Taylor from Slipknot nah fam yeah no that's who I am you're the last guy in every haunted house no you're a go for me
Starting point is 00:01:42 character for Halloween 7 yeah yeah no I sing for Slipknot You're a GoFundMe character for Halloween 7. No, I sing for Slipknot. I'm not too familiar with the Slip. Are you a Slipknot guy? Slipknot? No, it's like an Eagle Scout kind of thing.
Starting point is 00:01:58 No, it's a band, a metal band out of Des Moines, Iowa. Shout out to Des Moines, Iowa. Your costume is crazy. Yeah. Dude, you look like broke. What's up, motherfuckers? Nah, man. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:02:10 Go to Slipknot 99. That's my area. It's Halloween every day for Slipknot. You look like a custodian that's like, you know what? I'm tired of pushing this mop. I'm going to mate with it. And then you're the son of that. That's my metal band right there. We get that part, man.
Starting point is 00:02:24 There's nine of us. Yeah's my metal band right there. We get that part, man. There's nine of us. Yeah, sure there is, dude. But what we want to say is you look like a custodian that's like, you look like your origin story is a custodian mated with his mom. No. And had a child. No. And now you're just full face first on the floor.
Starting point is 00:02:40 The fans are called maggots. Oh. Wow. Maggots. I said maggots with an M. Do they come out and be like, what's up called maggots oh well maggots i said maggots with an m do they come out and be like what's up maggots yeah like maggots like make america great again i bet there's some strong crossover like the bone yeah bro you're the last guy in a uh you're the final you're the final frontier in a haunted house. Yeah, that's not me.
Starting point is 00:03:08 With a fake chainsaw? I'm right there. Yeah, we understand, man. You keep pointing over there, but... Shout out to Des Moines, Iowa. You look like a haunted house mechanic. You look like a mop cannon. Shout out to fixes mops yeah you look like the final character in a compton haunted house i'll take compton i'll take compton you look like broser who's that
Starting point is 00:03:38 like when you get to the end you gotta fight the the last dragon. Bowser. Bowser. Not broser. But you're broser. No, you're broser, dog. Why am I broser? For sure, man. You're different, man. Y'all just mad because my costume is dope, man. Shout out to Heavy Metal Music, man. Shout out to Heavy Metal.
Starting point is 00:03:54 Shout out to Custodians Worldwide. Bro, damn. Shout out to the Late Night Cleaning Crew. Yeah, your secret power is wind. Listen to Surfacing. That's the national anthem. You guys are haters. Bro, will you get back in the closet?
Starting point is 00:04:14 Look at you. Talking about Tranny Andy? I'm good, man. This shit is dope, Doug. Came with socks, too. You just seen the front cover of what your costume came in. I mean, this thing screamed pedophile. You should have seen it.
Starting point is 00:04:31 On the cover? Screams. Champion pedophile, dude. Oh, yeah. First team all pedophile. Not no rookie like the rest of you guys, dude. I'm the freaking Jim McMahon of pedophiles, dog. Hell, yeah, dog.
Starting point is 00:04:42 I'll throw it right at your son. Jim McMahon of pedophiles, dog. Hell yeah, dog. You should throw it right at your son. Y'all better back up, dog. Damn. Trenny Handy got two this morning, dog. Trenny Handy going hard. Bro, you look like a fluffer for Thomas the Train, dog.
Starting point is 00:05:03 Yes, we can oh man damn wait who's cat huh can you guess yes uh oh chin Oh, chin. No. What are you talking about, dude? Gold chain, black. Yep. Look at that. Look at the pose. Look at the fanny pack. Joe Rogan.
Starting point is 00:05:33 The light denim jeans. Oh, good guess. Good guess. Because I see the fanny pack. Let me keep guessing. Rogan wouldn't wear a black turtleneck, though. That's true. Let me see.
Starting point is 00:05:43 Chin? No. You want me to give you some hints? Uh-uh. He tussles with men. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yes, he does.
Starting point is 00:05:50 Oh, I know who it is. Chin. Also chin. These can all be chin. We're in the area. Oh, wait. I know who it is. It's a...
Starting point is 00:05:59 Let me think. I don't know who it is. That's a good try. Anyone else? It's a man or woman. It's a good try. Anyone else? It's a man or woman? It's a man. Okay. Very famous man.
Starting point is 00:06:08 Is the hair to scale to? No, but it's curly like his. Oh, but his isn't as long. In that, yeah. Same skin tone though, but not Asian. Very similar skin tone. Oh, I know who it is. Is it that guy who sings the lead singer of Creed?
Starting point is 00:06:25 No, dude. Okay. Would of... Slipknot? Creed? No, dude. Okay? Yo, would you drop Slipknot, huh? Bro, you look like Slopknot, dude. Okay? Bro, there's a freaking clean-up on aisle four, dog. Yeah. The scariest thing about you is your keys in your pocket, man.
Starting point is 00:06:40 How do you know what keys are in my pocket? That's that janitorial, dog. Yeah, dude. What's Slipknot's number one song? That you would know? Have you heard Wait and Bleed? No. Have you heard Psychosocial?
Starting point is 00:06:52 No. Have you heard Surfacing? Sick? Uh-uh. No? Left Behind? No, dude. Okay.
Starting point is 00:07:00 And Don't Name Anymore. I am hated. Okay, I won't name anymore. They all sound like freaking sad letters. They all sound like sad letters of dudes. To a bunch of lonely men. That's what it is. Hey, I discovered that when I was a kid.
Starting point is 00:07:12 99. You were a maggot since you were a kid? Yeah, since 99. Make America great again, dog. Oh, there it is. There it is. The Rock. It's pretty good, dude.
Starting point is 00:07:23 Dwayne Johnson. That's why she keeps going like this. That's why she keeps going like this. That's why I keep going like this. When Brendan walked into the studio, I did the same thing. I was like, can you guess? It's so funny. She's the pebble. I'm the pebble.
Starting point is 00:07:33 Rocking the little pebble. Yeah, I thought maybe something happened to you or something. Like something happened to your arms, you know? Which is understandable. And then Nick is the green man from Always Sunny. Green man on just a little bit of acid right now. Green man. Oh, you're on acid?
Starting point is 00:07:49 Just a little bit. Keep it interesting. You got to do something. You're on acid right now? No, no. Oh. God damn. Wow.
Starting point is 00:07:57 The producer of Adam Carolla's show, he was The Rock one time, and he tweeted at him. And The Rock saw it, and he replied, damn right, buddy. Oh, right. Candy corn and condoms in that fanny pack. Candy corn and condoms? Wow. That's what The Rock said? Yeah, and Chris Laxamana, producer of The Adam Carolla Show,
Starting point is 00:08:15 responded, as of this morning, only candy corn. Funny. That's hilarious. Dwayne came in hot. Now Chin decided not to dress up I dressed up This is lazy Chin You guys can't tell
Starting point is 00:08:28 This is lazy It was last minute And I had to figure out something So I made something I never dress up like Oh you're a model No not a model Really cause the dude gave him a card
Starting point is 00:08:39 He's Chin in an alternate reality He went the modeling route You want me to give you hints I know what it is Hold on let me guess man Don't give you hints? I know what it is. Hold on. Let me guess, man. Don't give any hints, dude. Yeah, give us a chance, dude.
Starting point is 00:08:47 What do you mean? You always like hints, dude. Don't lie. I do like a hint. Go for it. I am. Oh, okay. It just takes some time.
Starting point is 00:08:55 All right. Are you Justin Bieber in Asian face? In Asian face? That's very close. Ooh. Bruno Mars. Oh, you're BTS. Nope.
Starting point is 00:09:06 Ooh, good. BTK. That would have No BTK Not BTK Okay Blind Torture Korean Not BTK Chris Brown No Not even Different ethnicity altogether
Starting point is 00:09:15 You're Asian? Yes Asian I know who it is Mario Mario Lopez Yes No
Starting point is 00:09:24 No What's the guy She bangs William Hong She bangs She bangs I know who it is. Mario Lopez. No. What's the guy? She Bangs. William Hung? She Bangs. She Bangs. I don't think William Hung dresses like this. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:09:32 Is that Asian? Bobby Lee. Bam. Do you see it? I was going to give you that hint. I was like, when I was nine years old, I was brutally molested
Starting point is 00:09:40 by someone with Down syndrome. Too much. I was going to do that. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait. When I was young, I was molested by a retarded guy. Look at Bobby.
Starting point is 00:09:59 No, no, no, no, no, no. Look at him. Is there a specific picture? Bobby's never looked that good, dude. Bobby looks like something that got stuck in your vacuum. I should have let you borrow my yellow glasses. I know. I was looking for glasses.
Starting point is 00:10:23 Bobby looks like the last stuffed animal in an abandoned skill crane. There's no way. Yo, that clip you posted of him, Nick, where the dude asked if he could be Mr. Miyagi. Oh, yeah. Oh, gosh. I was dying laughing. And he just stares at the camera for 10 seconds. Because I'm wearing a beanie. Well, the crazy part is that he looks exactly like Mr. Miyagi, and he just refuses to admit it.
Starting point is 00:10:47 Mr. Miyagi has gray hair, though. Yeah. He's a younger Mr. Miyagi. Yeah, dude. Come on, bro. Use your imagination, dog. Oh, okay. God, dude.
Starting point is 00:10:57 I know how time works. What's anybody doing for Halloween, man? I don't know, man. I think we're going to have trick-or-treaters for the first time this year i mean like i thought it was canceled is that is that true what a bummer technically well no communities are still doing it but they're like throwing the candy as you go by which to me sounds fun yeah yeah that's a parade it's trunk or treat right now i think everybody's doing trunk or treat apparently where they're going yeah like people are parking their cars
Starting point is 00:11:23 yeah and you go up to the car. It's a real bummer. It's very, I mean, when I was young, you were spot, it was like some guy in a car with candy was like the not thing. Yeah, that wasn't the move. Yeah, it was like, that was a sneaky man. Although you put a set of Cadbury eggs in that van, I'm going to go and jump in and take my chances. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:42 Brennan tried to raise a cadbury egg. I nurtured the cadbury egg. Bro for like two months. He's like, huh? Sitting on it. And then he just ate it one night. Yeah, I just ate that. He was sleep eating one night and he just ate it you know sleepwalking but it's just with your face man forget y'all i'm having a halloween party at the crib for the kids you are yeah we got a bouncy castle we got haunted shit coming up
Starting point is 00:12:16 i think we rented a dracula which is always dicey especially during covid rented a dracula that means a grown man who thought he was going to come here and be fucking Vin Diesel didn't work out so now he's doing these gigs. Is it going to be the same guy who did the Spider-Man for you? No, no.
Starting point is 00:12:32 That guy is on the no-call list. Damn. That fat Spider-Man that showed at my son's birthday party was not fun. Magicians a lot of times will be pedophiles. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:45 Oh, really? Why is that? Yeah, that's facts. Tell them. Why? Well, first of all, it happens a lot. First of all, I don't want to say it, but it happens a lot in the Vietnamese community also. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:12:54 And sometimes, because they do magic, people get up close by them. It's easy. There's an element of surprise, so you already can trick a kid. Like, oh, I got an eagle in my truck or something. something oh it's a card in your pants yeah yeah there's a bunny in your uh in my dad's basement there's a bunny in my butt yeah yeah yeah one of the kids goes lazy yeah that's dark magic now yeah but a lot of times uh magicians will do also pedophile. Yeah. So will the balloon workers.
Starting point is 00:13:29 That's also. Oh, yeah. They seem sauce. Oh, yeah. You ever seen a cool looking balloon maker? No. Never. It's science.
Starting point is 00:13:37 It's a suicide balloon maker. Suicide. Or suicide and magician. Yeah. Also, clowns aren't really a thing anymore, right? Like it's been so documented where clowns are scary as shit that they've kind of evolved away from the clown. Like it, that show American Horror Story. Like you don't see clowns anymore, man.
Starting point is 00:13:58 What's scary anymore? I guess just like. Ghosts? Terrorists? Yeah. iPhone updates? Yeah. iPhone updates? Yeah. You really want to scare people?
Starting point is 00:14:10 Show up as an ISIS member with a bomb on your back? Like a fake bomb? That would scare the shit out of people. Yeah, that'd be good. Or screenshots of DMs. Ooh. Or seats. Or seats.
Starting point is 00:14:19 Damn, that's scary. Larry Gray and Theodore Anaman are the two most notable magicians to have offed themselves. Only two of them, huh? Yep, Teddy and Larry, bro. Magicians don't seem like they have a suicidal imagination, you know what I'm saying? That is interesting. You know, a lot of... I could have used a magician in Montana, man.
Starting point is 00:14:40 I was fucking freezing, dude. But you went there, though. They didn't expect it. We didn't expect it. It was negative 14 at freezing, dude. Were you, but you went there though. I, we, they didn't expect it. We didn't expect it. It was negative 14 at night, dude. You've been in negative 14. Yeah. You can't do much. It was freezing. Good time though. Good time. I hung out by the bar. There's like, it was like, you could just have any drinks you want. So I'd go to the bar and get whiskey. And there was a, like a crowd there from like a group from alabama like real real southern boys and one day one has a one has a trump shirt on
Starting point is 00:15:11 i'm there with my father-in-law at the bar and he comes over he goes i hear you're from hollywood i go no i'm not from hollywood i live in la but he goes yeah you mr hollywood not hollywood no one say were you wearing that no i thought about it that would make sense if i was in character and he has a trump shirt on and he goes i bet you don't like my shirt and i was like excuse me because i bet you don't like my shirt i'm like i don't care about your shirt i don't i don't care man he goes yeah ula boys you don't like like i think he was looking for a fight and he's drunk he's like ula boys you don't like trump like i don't like Trump. I think he was looking for a fight and he was drunk. He's like, you LA boys, you don't like Trump. I'm like, I don't like either of them, but I don't care about your shirt, man.
Starting point is 00:15:48 He gets in my face. I see him. He gets in my face. My father-in-law goes a step between us. He goes, you know your boy. He goes, your boy, Joseph Biden, going to raise taxes on people like me. And I was like, okay. And I go, people like you.
Starting point is 00:16:01 He goes, yeah, I'm rich. And walks away. I'm like, what the fuck? The redneck guy said that yeah he was on bridge walked away i'm like all right dude totally redneck i know joseph biden he goes yo boy yo boy yo boy yo boy smelled like fucking vodka i'm your boy gonna raise taxes on people like me bro you fucking you look like a guy that changes the spark plugs on a fucking gay cruise
Starting point is 00:16:29 awesome you look awesome bro you look like will last person you look like the last person picked at an orgy what's trendy andy come on. He showed up for this. Come on, guys. Come on, guys. He has a positive attitude. I know he looks rough around the edges. Well, you're looking at two dudes who could use some help. By help, I mean some better help.
Starting point is 00:17:17 Oh, yeah, man. I've been getting help, but has it been better? Jury's out. You think you dress like Wario and don't need better help? I'm not. am dude listen there's something interfering with your happiness or it's preventing you from achieving your goals how about you check out better help they're gonna match you with your own licensed professional therapist you can start communicating under 48 hours i need what if i need the help now man can i get it now we got you dog we got you the service
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Starting point is 00:20:56 Shop stress-free and find your forever peace. Go to bluenile.com today. Get that item, baby. Oh, how'd your softball game go, dude? We are, right now, we are one and two. bad team what do you think not bad no chemistry no we didn't have enough players somebody got sick on our team one of the restaurants where some of the players work got sick like half the staff got sick so you played with only half the team it was like a faux faux yum or something what's it called faux yum so yeah they had a faux yum something something. What's it called? Faux yum. Faux yum. So, yeah, they had a faux yum.
Starting point is 00:21:26 Something happened. You're missing some important people. We missed two people. We only have, I think, eight. So we're already. You only field seven. So you guys are still good, though. Not good.
Starting point is 00:21:39 Who beat your ass? One and two. This seafood outfit. Clark's. Clark's put it on you yeah do they have a 20 20 uh run rule if you get down by 20 we just call the game like it was the third inning yeah we haven't had i haven't had any of that experience um not a lot of points are they close games uh let me see one of them no one of them was i think 13 to 2 that's an ass whooping one of them we won probably maybe 13 to 10 close game and then the last one we lost and somebody there was like a car accident right by the field too so it was hard to there was like you guys were distracted yeah
Starting point is 00:22:20 there was fire truck and how are you doing personally? Ambulance. Are you MVP? No, no, no. There's a little Asian striking you out, huh? Yeah, yeah. I'm more like DM, whatever the, yeah. DMV? DMV, yeah. DMV. You're striking out.
Starting point is 00:22:33 Yeah. Trying my best, but there's a lot of diversity going on. You know? But it's good, man. They got a lot of people out there. You know, you meet a lot of people. Who else did we lose to? You mean any cool people
Starting point is 00:22:45 you make any new friends we lost a wholesale seafood that's what we lost to clark's wholesale seafood yeah clark seems to be pretty buttoned up and then uh there's another group that we lost to that was a um it was uh it was a local bar like just a bar someplace. Like Shotgun Willie's? Paddy's or something, some Irish bar. You know, Oh Snarker. And how's the team's morale? You guys still pretty upbeat
Starting point is 00:23:10 when you get your ass put? Oh Paddy's? No. There's Asian people. You have no idea what their morale is. Yeah, they never change.
Starting point is 00:23:16 There's no bad get. They could be literally going to their own funeral or going to their wedding. Have no idea. No clue. Going to war. And that's not all Asian people. I know the more tropical
Starting point is 00:23:28 it gets, you get more smiles and kind of high fives. The closer to the equator, the happier people tend to be. Yeah, yeah. You never know what's going on with Chin, man. Bad day, good day. He's good. Oh, he's a mystery box. He's a mystery box. You've got to really peel back
Starting point is 00:23:44 his eyelids to know what's going on you're like oh here we go good day what's going on oh you like sad dude i literally just caught with you and i don't mean that in an offensive way or anything. Oh, sure. My teammates are Asian, man. I got heavy brows myself. Yeah. And we all bow at the beginning of the game, which is kind of
Starting point is 00:24:11 a cool team thing. Oh, okay. Yeah. They're in handshakes these days, I guess. Did you go trick-or-treating when you guys were kids, Kat, Culture Corner?
Starting point is 00:24:20 I used to go trick-or-treating a lot, but I didn't always dress up. I feel like I used to just kind of walk around with my younger cousins. And since I took them, they were obligated to give me candy. Even when you were a kid? When I was a kid, the only thing I remember dressing up as was the devil one year.
Starting point is 00:24:38 And I don't remember anything else. Okay, this got dark. Really? Just the devil? This got darker than Chappelle, dude. That's dark. You know what I mean? Damn, Kev, just the devil and then got darker than chapelle dude that's dark you know what i mean damn cat just the devil and then one one and done huh i feel like i don't remember many halloweens i don't know what it is yeah i loved halloween but i don't remember anything from there chapelle hell no you
Starting point is 00:24:58 didn't dress up last time i dressed up was elementary school really yeah chapelle probably wanted it i always had i had uh you know kind of kind of darker friends a little bit when i was young who wanted to be sometimes they would want to wear like dark clothes on halloween and you'd have to be like nah man it's dangerous it's dangerous yeah you can't well they're like i'm gonna wear a black shirt and pants and like dude you're gonna get hit by a car you need to be like a ufo something with some lights some light a lot of bright lights yes no i didn't i did not that's not me there we go that's me on the bottom left oh that's steel i was like what the hell i was like why you pulled him up
Starting point is 00:25:36 they used to call me sugar arms baby that's don galatis on the top right 38 years old it looks like it holy shit shit. What grade is that? I don't know. Junior high. I was in ninth grade. Get the fuck... That dude's supposed to be a freshman? And the number 14 looks identical to LeBron James. Oh, number 14 was like 6'9".
Starting point is 00:25:57 Were you guys good? We had some behavior issues. I bet you guys would beat the shit out of your fucking softball team right now. Yeah, we didn't have a... Oh, yeah, yeah. We'd beat those kids. You know?
Starting point is 00:26:10 Our team is bad. So no Halloween grown-ups, Chappelle. Hell no. Not important to you. What are you talking about, Chappelle? I think the last time I dressed up, it literally was elementary school. I was one of them damn blue things. Blue man group?
Starting point is 00:26:20 No. Oh, a smurf. A smurf. Yeah, I was a smurf. That was the last time I dressed up. So you went in blue face? Yeah, I went? Smurf. Yeah, I was a Smurf. That was the last time I dressed up. So you went in blue face? Yeah, I went in blue face. Well, yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:29 Nick, what about you? Wisconsin? Yeah, it was more chill. Oh, yeah. Halloween was our shit. Yeah, right? Somebody freezes to death every year. Literally, in the morning.
Starting point is 00:26:39 And did you use, for your case, a pillowcase to carry the candy? What a coincidence. That's actually the- Like a goddamn gentleman? That's actually our first submission. Oh, here we go right here. Mr. Blue Eyes. Yo, yo, yo. Brandon Schlaubs and Theo Thongs. What's up, man?
Starting point is 00:26:56 My name is... Got a little Halloween debate club for you gentlemen. When y'all were younger, going trick-or-treating, getting them sweet hitters with your boys, did you keep the pillowcase or that bullshit ass little bucket that your boys had to go home and dump it and
Starting point is 00:27:12 come back? Let me know what you guys think. I love everything that y'all do. Gang gang, buzz buzz, spooky season. Spooky season, son. Mr. Blue, Mr. Steal Your Eyes. That dude's trying to haunt your crotch, cat.
Starting point is 00:27:27 I bet that dude is looking to get... I bet you show him your feet. He's got eyeliner on. I feel like this man has eyeliner. Quit looking at his eyes that much, dog. You're in love much? You got eyeliner? You seem green or gay.
Starting point is 00:27:46 Is that a banana in your suit that suit come with a cucumber in the front huh you're like does this guy die his tongue it's like who knows if he dies that guy skins made out of porcelain am i right fellas uh no i don't know is this guy wearing a filter? Is this Rio de Janeiro? What is going on? It's Jakarta. Look, man. Damn, dude. Jakarta ready, Nick. Over there, now. Chappelle looks like the lead
Starting point is 00:28:16 singer of Parliament Funkadelic right now, dude. Can you bring up George Clinton? George Clinton? Atomic doll. Hey, come on now. I'll take that.
Starting point is 00:28:27 Motel. Motel. Holiday Inn. Was that George Clinton? No. That's figures. But I know that song. Damn, bro.
Starting point is 00:28:37 Yeah, I'll take that. You look like George Clinton if we opened up his fucking casket right now. Oh, my God. That's a favorable statement. You too. Bro, you look like Dedrick Douglas. Why can't I just be Corey Taylor from Slipknot? Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:29:02 Nah, it's too weak, man. Yeah, they don't have that. All right, I'm expecting it. You got to be a UFO. Yeah, I'm walking outside with this. You grave Clinton, bro. Grave Clinton. Damn, bro.
Starting point is 00:29:15 George Clinton is a legend. He's from Virginia. Wow. He's a legend, bro. North Carolina, Kannapolis. What were you saying About that gentleman Nick Before you fell in love Well personally
Starting point is 00:29:28 We used the pillowcase Because There was Halloween But then there was The weekend before Halloween Where we went to Nursing homes And they were all like
Starting point is 00:29:36 There was like Three of them in a row And you just went up And down the hallways It was way more efficient You'd fill up an entire Pillowcase And them old timers
Starting point is 00:29:43 Get full candy bars now And you can go around twice. Some don't even know. Hell yeah. Damn. Wow. Yeah, pillowcase all day. That little fucking mop bucket. Get the hell out of here, man.
Starting point is 00:29:55 I'd fill that pillowcase up out of two of them bitches. We had that mop bucket sometimes. Really? Yeah, dude. The problem with the mop bucket, that handle broke, and then you had to carry the bucket just with your arms yeah like a kettlebell yeah that thing was heavy man what else do we have oh we got that the old school one with just the whatever this was when you were like a little kid it was a pumpkin you know like a little tiny one some kid at our school got his head hidden stuck in a pumpkin and uh and yeah he was in the little parking area at the school, and somebody slammed the fucking pumpkin.
Starting point is 00:30:29 It was like a series of events. Into a fucking, closed a car door on it. And it saved him because the pumpkin was on his head. Jesus. Shit. But he put his head fully into a pumpkin real tight. I'll tell you what. Yeah, that's what we had right there.
Starting point is 00:30:42 That shit's weak. I'll tell you what. He said that's what we had right there. That shit's weak. I'll tell you what's up. He said that's what we had. Not like pillowcases, dog, because you fill that bitch up to the brim and they don't break. They cared about their pillow. Brendan would hook a handle onto his cheeks and just open his mouth. Yeah. Insert.
Starting point is 00:31:02 Insert only, dog. So what's did beautiful man want to know pillowcase I don't know if we did pillowcase I don't know
Starting point is 00:31:10 anyone that did anything else because you could fit so much more candy in there and then them dumb asses who would leave
Starting point is 00:31:15 a giant thing of candy out with a sign because they're like take one itch I'm seven don't steal
Starting point is 00:31:22 I'm seven yeah I'm taking all your king i'm taking one for the team bro yeah by team i mean ear buddy yeah and then you break their window too well the n-word in there oh wow damn okay that's that new orleans halloween all right yeah more trick more trick more tricking you know i remember some dumb bitch at the end of my street would give us uh pennies oh yeah throw them bitches trying to get the street would give us uh pennies oh yeah throw them bitches trying to get the shit on your doorstep pennies did you used to do the you're treating for unicef that's what that was for dude you just have a thing of change i'm like
Starting point is 00:31:55 oh here you go or they'd give you full like apples come on man did y'all ever egg houses or anything like that not for high school we did no school we did. No, you didn't. That was like a Halloween tradition. Not for Halloween. You would do it just for as fun. We did it as fun, but not for Halloween. I don't remember. What kind of asshole does that on a holiday? You get the apple, you give him an egg.
Starting point is 00:32:13 It's tit for tat. I think, yeah, we used to, I remember one year we got up on the roof and this fellow named Pug, we had a fellow in our neighborhood named Pug, you know, named after the animal. Because he was real. Sounds like a handsome fellow. He had like a very flat face he had that plateau face yeah what that snout uh had that pushback snout he was a little bit yeah was he asian you and him could have met in the middle you think oh yeah yeah we could have
Starting point is 00:32:38 we had a child who would have a perfect nose so he had you know, when it came to noses. And we'd get on the roof and shoot pellet guns at him. We'd invite him over on Halloween. And he'd come across the street and we'd just lay into him. Poor pug. Pop off six or eight into him. Bro, he had skin that was perfect for taking pellets, though. Oh, okay. Some people had burns.
Starting point is 00:33:02 He had that big skin. Oh, he had that Cajun skin on him, man. Yeah. Hell yeah. Then it's fine. How about I ask my mom? I said, because Nick asked us, hey, can you get that French robot costume again for the show?
Starting point is 00:33:14 I was like, oh, let me hit up my mom. So I text my mom and say, hey, mama, can you make me that French robot costume? She said, no. Just straight up no. I was like, okay. Not even a negotiation or anything? I haven't talked to her since. Well, dude dude she'd have to get a lot of fabric you know what i'm saying bro you could do it you know what i'm saying yeah chin you would halloween big around your neighborhood in san antonio in texas uh i can't remember too much about halloween i
Starting point is 00:33:38 remember doing stuff walking around the neighborhood and stuff but i don't know why is everybody why is everybody got ct in this motherfucker? Walking around the neighborhood with your fucking hitchhiker, dude? You remember Halloween? There's Brennan right there, dude. Dog in there, me and Jay as a fucking, one's a tiger, one's a fucking ninja.
Starting point is 00:33:57 Bro, you look like your son right there. You really do. He's my twin. There's Tiger's Buzz Lightyear last year. And that's the same costume that fit me last year. You guys do look a lot alike. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:12 Tiger's insane, though, man. Tiger's on what? He's on uppers or something. Yeah, he's on something besides juice boxes. I'll tell you that right now. That boy, that Novitski needs to test that young man. He's on test 700 or something, man. I've been over there to play with him. It is, man, he'll burn you that right now. That boy, that Novitski needs to test that young man. He's on test 700 or something, man. I've been over there to play with him.
Starting point is 00:34:27 It is. Man, he'll burn you out. Dog, I'll tell you. Dude, in Montana, because we were trapped in the house because it's negative 9,000 degrees, but we went horseback riding. My horse's name was Fridge. Kind of hurt my feelings. Because they lined up the horses.
Starting point is 00:34:41 They lined up my girl's normal horse. My son's smaller horse. And then here comes big old hefty Fridge. Just blow. Got up the horses. My girl's normal horse. My son's smaller horse. And then here comes big old hefty fridge. Just got out the side. I'm like, what the fuck? They're like, that's your horse. Drinking a beer. Drinking.
Starting point is 00:34:54 Who's riding me today? Brushing his hair. Dude, drinking gravy. This thing was fat. They're like, that's yours. His name's Fridge. I'm like, man, that hurts my feelings. Did you touch his nose? Oh, man. I was all up on his nose. Really?
Starting point is 00:35:09 He loves horse noses. I don't know why. It's all I care about on horses. Can you see a video of someone touching a horse's nose? Dude, but how about this? We get done riding the horse. We're all hanging about, talking about our ride and stuff like that. Fridge, big old black peepee comes
Starting point is 00:35:26 and log huh seeing what's sad is that makes your wife then you got to do something with the wife later yeah oh yeah that's what i that's what i was all up on fridge's nose that'll get you hard as hell hell yeah doug they like that oh i like it i don't know if he does. For real, that horse's pee-pee was about this big, Doug. Oh, my God. Yeah. Mr. Hands, this thing was big. Oh, when they said at Mardi Gras when a horse would get erect, people throw nickels at their dick.
Starting point is 00:35:55 And you can't miss, son. That thing is thick and ashy. Dude, you could have no arms and throw a nickel, and you'd hit the horse's dick, bro. Damn. Kind of ruined the evening though like i found it funny but nobody else did oh i said i said fridge just gonna get his big dick out like that for us in negative 14 degrees your kid's over there petting his dick you know he's
Starting point is 00:36:16 like blind bird whatever that thing is pretty bird pretty too much. I think it spit at you now. Oh, man. Too much. That's your kid. No, no. It was someone else's kid, man. Well, there's other kids there. That's not my kid. That's why I said it's someone else's kid.
Starting point is 00:36:35 Damn, bro. I ain't doing no pedophiling. Yeah, you look like you would. Yeah, but that's all right, dog. You feel me, man? Your costume begs a difference, son. Bro, I look like a Navy SEAL at a fucking, at a bathhouse. I look like a West Hollywood Navy SEAL, bro.
Starting point is 00:36:55 SEAL Team 6 is side piece. SEAL Team 69, daddy. You feel me, huh? Who wants to pet Petey? You feel me, huh? Who wants to pet Petey? Dude, I'll tell you this, man. Pete wants a cracker.
Starting point is 00:37:12 You know, they have gay horses, too. Will you bring it up, Nick? Yeah, bring that shit up, Nick. And it's becoming more popular than it was. Wait, they really do? Yep. Do they have a lot of horses in Vietnam, Kat? They have water buffaloes more. This story about gay horses is honestly heartbreaking.
Starting point is 00:37:28 Will you take us there, Nick? So it said this may be one of the most heartbreaking love stories since Romeo and Juliet. What is it? Two gays. Here we go. Do not disturb our dinner. Simone's in Triolo. Features a story disturb our dinner. Simonsi and Triolo.
Starting point is 00:37:45 Features a story about two male horses, Simonsi and Triolo. The strange bond they develop. That's called homosexuality. Two horses. They scroll them. What is it? They call it a strange bond. Do you know that?
Starting point is 00:37:57 Nowadays, they just call it a bond. Yeah. Bond. Strange bond. How we don't think gay? How they making love? Double O sucking, bro. Bond. Strange bond. Do you feel me? How many times do gay? How they making love? Double O, sucking, bro. Bond.
Starting point is 00:38:06 Strange Bond. Do you feel me? How many times do I have to say this joke? I heard you the first time, man. Well, hold on. You'll say it in a second. I don't get it. How we know these horses are gay?
Starting point is 00:38:20 Now, look at that horse over there. Oh, that horse. Hey. Check out that pony, dog. The one with the fresh mullet. No. Come on, Nick. Jesus Christ. Click on the fuck any of the right ones.
Starting point is 00:38:34 There's nine right ones. There you go. His name is Yahoo Login, dude. That looks like your trainer. Oh, that looks like my trainer. Look at that bitch is fine. Zoom in. What do you feel? Let us see you.
Starting point is 00:38:48 Don't be scared. Look at this fucking butt, though. It looks just like Barbara Streisand. Yeah. His nose looks like some nuts, though. They look soft. And zoom in on that butt, dude. Barbara's thighs came, dude.
Starting point is 00:39:02 That thing is fine. Oh, yeah. That's a thoroughbred, doggy. Bro, I'll milk that thing, dude. Barbara's thighs can, dude. That thing is fine. Oh, yeah. That's a thoroughbred, doggy. Bro, I'll milk that thing. Meg the Stallion. You feel me? Yeah, that's that little thought I was talking about. Dude, I'll shoot that bitch in the foot.
Starting point is 00:39:14 You feel me? Hell yeah, doggy. Yep, I see what you did there. Hell yeah, doggy. Chappelle, you're scaring me, doggy. Why would I scare you? I ain't even doing nothing to you. Your costume's scary, Chappelle.
Starting point is 00:39:24 Well, y'all mad y'all your costumes that's a ariana grande horse i'll ride that thing all night long daddy very on a grande bro i'm in huh damn that thing is fine shorty wyland huh damn that bitch is fine. Shorty Wylan, huh? Damn, that bitch is from Atlanta. You know what I'm saying? Tory Lanez will shoot that thing in the foot. That thing's fine, bro. Both feet, dog.
Starting point is 00:39:56 Pull up another one, Nick. Damn. Get that brown one. Go up two. Oh, get that cat. Ooh. Damn. Damn, look at that. cat oh that's a little dog oh now we're in the snacks again that's the problem with pinterest dude it starts off with whatever and it always ends with muffins the further you scroll down you just get to cookies oh dog i saw a fucking moose i think it's fun i saw a moose in
Starting point is 00:40:26 montana dog you've seen a moose in person oh them bitches are big i don't know if i had big can you could you touch it oh no way can't get near him aggressive as fuck you could have gotten near him dude how much i don't think so no uh thousand pounds 10 foot tall? Bryce Mitchell put that thing in a fucking twister. He killed a deer with his nuts. With his nuts? Oh, Chappelle in person? Oh, that thing will beat a Honda Civic. My son was like, is that a dinosaur?
Starting point is 00:40:56 I went, don't be stupid. I said, don't be stupid, man. Don't be fucking stupid. He also probably looked at some of your old schoolwork, which is where he got that. Where he got those facts from. Look how big they are, man. Damn, look at you, though, dog. Standing there, no clothes on.
Starting point is 00:41:15 Only two fingers on each hand. What are you doing? Is that an alien in the middle? What man looks like that? It's a Lego person. But now, be honest with me. Be honest with me people in here because do you think, if you see
Starting point is 00:41:29 obviously a horse is people make love to certain animals in certain areas, you know? And some people let the animals make love to them. Yep. You ever seen Mr. Hand? I haven't seen it. You've never seen Mr. Hand? You don't want to see it. You don't want to see it. No, no, no. Bro, I'm Baptist. I'm part Presbyterian.
Starting point is 00:41:45 Leave him alone with that thing. It's probably illegal. You've never seen Mr. Haze? You don't want to see it. You don't want to see it. No, no, no, no. Bro, I'm Baptist. I'm part Presbyterian. Yeah, yeah. Leave him alone with that thing. It's probably illegal. Thank you. It's probably illegal. It's probably illegal. Gang, baby. We're fucking out here. Don't make you.
Starting point is 00:41:51 I was sending my dog in to mop you up. Yeah. You know what I'm saying, bro? Yeah, I got the mop. A bucket and a mop? Yeah, I got the mop. You got the fucking mop, baby. Slip mop.
Starting point is 00:42:00 Yeah, slip mop. I'll get that mop fucking. Slip mop. Slip mop, bro. Yeah, dog. Yeah, I got Theo's back, man. I got your front,op. Yeah, Slip Mop. I'll get that mop fucking. Slip Mop. Slip Mop, bro. Yeah, dog. Yeah, I got Theo's back, man. I got your front, daddy. Yeah, hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:09 See that game? Damn, front, back, front, back. Y'all gay. Hell yeah. You French, bro. Yeah, you look like a little maggot. Your mom put you in a little French suit, bro. All right, man.
Starting point is 00:42:21 What I want to tell you guys about is getting high, baby. You know what I'm saying? Oh, you talking about that high on liquid iv daddy no i'm talking about getting hydrated oh sorry jesus flu season right around the corner that out anybody flu season is right around the corner and one way to stay away from covid is to stay hydrated man yeah one of the main things you got to do stay hydrated if. If you're unhydrated, you might fall down somewhere. Somebody runs by, sneezes in your mouth. Damn, you got COVID, boy. When you're pushing your body hard
Starting point is 00:42:52 or you're feeling run down, it's important to take care of yourself with the proper vitamins and nutrients. Maybe you're pushing hard and your man or your girl dehydrated. You want to hydrate up? Use liquid IV. If you've been masturbating your body off like i do sometimes you might want to change up you gotta replenish that bad boy you gotta refill that bus tank man
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Starting point is 00:43:42 Hell yeah. The company has donated over 5 million servings globally. I don't even know, but it sounds good. Liquid IV's new hydration multiplier plus immune support is available at Walmart or order online, get 25% off, and be a lot safer just running at home and not going to Walmart. When you go to liquidiv.com, use the code KATS at checkout. That's 25% off anything you order when you use the code CATS at liquidiv.com.
Starting point is 00:44:07 Get better hydration today at liquidiv.com. Promo code CATS. CATS. Dog, I look at you and I say, that man needs more meat in his mouth. Oh, yeah. But not just any kind of meat. You need real proper meat. You feel me?
Starting point is 00:44:21 Oh, I want that front loin, baby. You feel me? Yeah, you want that foot long. Oh, I want that front loin baby you feel me yeah you want that foot long oh i want that squirt strip baby this thanksgiving butcher box is giving you something extra to be grateful for dude and thanksgiving's coming up man butcher box is giving you guys something to do every month butcher box ships a curated selection of high-quality meats right to your crib. All the meat is free of antibodies and added hormones.
Starting point is 00:44:49 I'm blind. I like the little roids in my meat. You feel me? I'm blind. Why are you blind, dog? Because I haven't been eating enough meat, baby. It's the best meat shipped right to your door. Cures blindness.
Starting point is 00:45:00 Oh, wow, dog. Okay? 100% grass-fed finished beef. Some of them you get unfinished beef. I put them free-range organic chicken. Some of them you get unfinished beef. How about them free-range organic chicken? Some of them you got a burger, got a damn antler hanging out of it. Hell yeah. Nothing like that.
Starting point is 00:45:10 Wild caught Alaskan salmon. Not them bitch salmon that be caught up all the time. This is free wild salmon. Yeah, not them little water thoughts. This is nitrate-free bacon. It's the way that meat should be. Dude, how about ButcherBox? You get the highest quality meat around $6 a meal.
Starting point is 00:45:24 Also, even have free shipping nationwide except Alaskaaska hawaii you gotta pay for that and right now butcher boss is offering new members a turkey for free gobble gobble that's an entire turkey for free in your first box go to butcher box.com slash cats that's butcher box.com slash cats take care of thanksgiving Take care of the holidays. Get it done now. Gobble, gobble. Get that free bird, fam. What's all this candy, Doug?
Starting point is 00:45:50 That was kind of the main event for this evening, a candy draft. We go up a three-round candy draft. I randomized the order up at the top of the board to make our picks. Theo would be first and select a candy and put it on the board. If I don't get them good and plenty, I'm about to piss on y'all, Doug. Y'all got any Boston Big Beans? Someone in the first three picks take those good and plenties. You can't be giving away your picks like that.
Starting point is 00:46:15 It's a draft. We're in the war room right now. I don't know how it works. Like an NFL draft. Theo's going to be first pick. He'll go up. Out of all those candies, he gets to pick what's available. Go up now?
Starting point is 00:46:26 Yeah. I get the fourth pick in the first round? It was a randomized draft order before the show. Randomized draft, dude. It's just like Vietnam. I don't know if I believe that. You cried about four. Look, I'm fifth.
Starting point is 00:46:35 Bro, it's just like Vietnam, you idiot. You know damn well if you made Theo fourth pick in the first round, he would hit Chad for the show. We come back tomorrow if Nick has a black eye. What happened? I fell. I should have put him first. I should have put him first.
Starting point is 00:46:50 I like that. Yeah, I fell. I was third until we found out that Nick had another podcast network working here all weekend. Nick's like,
Starting point is 00:46:58 no, I don't know what you're talking about. Logos all over the screen. Hey, you guys mind doing a quick read for me real quick? Oh, look at that gang, homie. Hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:09 Y'all gang. Hell yeah. Yeah, snip mock. Dwayne, baby. I'm going hard in the fucking... Damn, that caboose. Still at the back, dog. Talking about that horse.
Starting point is 00:47:21 Saddle up, partner. I put them bratchets, number one, baby. If you want to add a thumbtack, because it'll probably come back. I got them bratchets candy corn. Hey, so we pick and then we eat them? At the end, yeah. You get your draft. That's how you make it.
Starting point is 00:47:34 Wait. Wait. It's me, Mario. Come on, baby. Come on, dog. Cat, you're up. We'll see the teams at the end. Each person will have three items.
Starting point is 00:47:45 God, how about Chin's picture? I know. How about my picture? teams at the end. Each person will have three items. God, how about Chin's picture? I know. How about my picture? Look at those glasses. We took that last week, Doug. I know. I shouldn't have been masturbating yesterday either. I respect it.
Starting point is 00:47:59 Nothing to do with candy, but. You're up, Chin. You jacking off in candy. I was jacking off. What do you want me to do, man? I was jacking off in candy what are they gonna do both jacking off what do you want me to do man i was jacking off both sins huh both sins for you i couldn't handle myself oh here comes bobby lee says nobody ever here comes a six seven bobby yeah dude unbelievable bobby tree over. Ain't nobody buying that, dog. That's a lazy costume, Chin.
Starting point is 00:48:28 That is a lazy costume, dog. What are you talking about? Nope. You look like a librarian at a fucking motorcycle outlet. I can't believe Snickers went all the way to three. Me either. Ugh. Yeah, first of all, who would... Yeah, Chin, bad outfit, bad pick.
Starting point is 00:48:44 I think it's a great pick. I would have number one overall coming in. Really? It's like picking Greg Jennings right now. This is tough for me because I love... These are my favorite candy. I love Milk Dutch. Bro, pick one.
Starting point is 00:48:58 You're that lame kid who gets back and he's like, well, okay, let me count them all out. One Jolly Rancher. Do you guys like to trade candy? Huh? At the end, yeah. I'm saying when you got all your bags, you shuffle them all out. You trade candy. Start wheeling and dealing.
Starting point is 00:49:14 Dude, I would have... And we used to get the suppositories too, dude. Chappelle, you're up. There's a hammer. I can't even see. I used to get up. Yeah, I am? There's a hammer. I can't even see. Dude, I used to get up. Yeah, I think I'm good.
Starting point is 00:49:29 Dang. Chappelle, man. He's got some scary, huh? Where'd you find a hammer? It's on the ground. I don't have a hammer. I think it's from Chappelle's outfit. Wario, is it yours?
Starting point is 00:49:39 No. Wario don't have no hammer? Since it's Halloween, you need a Luigi board. Yeah. That's a great idea. I always want to do some freaky shit. You're up, Nick. And I get the wraparound, so I get two picks in a row.
Starting point is 00:49:56 Okay. All right. Fine. Another podcast network guy. Damn, get your dick out of our face hey with a few squats you get with feels trainers mr. burns a got that math doing ass. Somebody got that math doing ass, bro. Looks like you take a shit laying down, Nick.
Starting point is 00:50:32 Like two sheets of loose-leaf paper back there, bro. Nick got two sheets of loose-leaf paper back there, bro. You better call Theo's trainer ASAP, son. ASAP, bro. ASAP, bro. You want half a cheek, dog? You got those suckers? I love those caramel apple suckers. You can get those at the bank, dude.
Starting point is 00:50:55 The analytics team said it was a great pick. God, Nick's dick's all over the place. Nick got a dick on him, y'all. That green suit proves it man What are you talking about I do alright Why are you looking at somebody's dick How can you avoid it man
Starting point is 00:51:12 He's in a fucking green spandex He comes over and puts the candy in my face You ate that horse's wiener You took him on Nick's wiener Dude you don't launch a new podcast network and not have a dick on you. That's okay. He got that man-tenna, bro. That's the thing I worry about with Chappelle, dude.
Starting point is 00:51:40 Chappelle's so white, bro, you worry about the size of his penis. Dude, I've thought about it a lot. I'm glad you said that. Chappelle's so white bro you worry about the size of his penis you listen to my slipknot starts to shrink damn Chappelle just picks the obvious candy Doug I and Reese's? I mean, obviously you sold those to support some basketball team growing up. Those are the most hilarious. Come on, dude. Hey, mister. Hey, man. We're trying to get New Jersey's, man.
Starting point is 00:52:20 You're trying to get New Jersey's. Hey, mister. It's only a dollar. We're trying to go on the road. You mind? Hey, mister. Me and my a dollar. We're trying to go on the road. Hey, mister, me and my friends are saving up to go on the Beck cruise. Can you help us raise some money, sir?
Starting point is 00:52:35 You like Beck, Chappelle? Huh? I like Beck? He will. Yeah, Beck's great. I sat across, I almost lied, from Beck on an airplane once. Did you say anything? I did get a phone number of someone who worked in his band, a woman.
Starting point is 00:52:51 And I never called her though. But I should have. But yeah, it's over now. How long ago was that? This was probably, I'm not sure how long ago. It was at some point. You guys know the tape does work right
Starting point is 00:53:06 It seems pretty strong but just in case What's that Jin? Gummy worms? Gummy worms I got all the good ones Cat looking fly in that pic huh Thanks Yeah I took that off her Instagram I took out the rest of it
Starting point is 00:53:21 Oh you took the milk duds Oh you cut the breast out You got it Get rid of the sweater puppies Oh, you took the milk duds. Oh, you cut the breast out. I see that. You got up the breast. Get rid of the sweater puppies. That's for Patreon. You put the sweater puppies back on for the Patreon. Vernon's on
Starting point is 00:53:35 Gatreon. That was good. That was a cheap joke. Well, well, well. What do we want to do here? Hmm. What was that? Nerds.
Starting point is 00:53:57 Just that little pack of nerds, dog. The original classic. The classic. Yeah, don't let the sizes throw you off either. If it's a baby one, we're just saying the type of candy. Just because it's a baby Mounds, don't be like, oh, I'm going to take the baby Mounds over the full-size Snickers. We're seeing who has the best lineup.
Starting point is 00:54:13 Oh, Theo, you got the wraparound. You got one more pick. Oh, yeah. The reach-around dog, that's all you, Tranny Andy. Honestly, I like Chin's lineup so far the best. You got Snickers and gummy worms. It's a nice variety. Chocolate.
Starting point is 00:54:28 Yep. Gummy. Chocolate's not too big. The gummies are a bunch. Wait, what's wrong with mine? Mine's dope. Ooh, I love Butterfinger. Like you said, it's a little classic.
Starting point is 00:54:35 Butterfinger's so good. I like Cat's lineup. And you went peanut butter on both treats. What? That's not peanut butter? Peanut. Oh, peanut. Y'all slacking, man. Well, I'm not Peanut. Oh, peanut. Y'all slacking, man.
Starting point is 00:54:46 Well, I'm not a big sour batch kid. Y'all a couple slacking. I panicked, honestly. You guys were talking about my ass. I didn't know. He's just freaking out. I wanted to get out of the room. Oh, like two pages in a book.
Starting point is 00:55:00 You got that. You're like that kid's novel back there. Not very thick That is the weakest costume, dog It's almost It's disappointing It's offensive It's fucking offensive
Starting point is 00:55:18 It's offensive that you would You gotta be Yeah, you need a stain on your shirt You need urine on you somewhere Yeah, you usually wear like an Iggy Pop shirt Yeah, you need a stain on your shirt you need urine on you somewhere yeah you usually wear like an Iggy Pop shirt or something like that yeah you need a couple
Starting point is 00:55:28 of body fluids on you a vintage worn out shirt that's stretched out a little too much yeah you need a beautiful girlfriend that's gonna probably end up with me
Starting point is 00:55:34 if something ever happens to him Brendan you're up you have no I just expected more out of you Chen honestly I'm sorry more out of you Chen honestly I'm sorry
Starting point is 00:55:46 But Didn't you expect more out of him Kat? Considering I didn't know That he even dressed up Yes I told him we should have been Jackie Chan and I should have been Su Young Oh no You should have done Rush Hour
Starting point is 00:56:01 You go blackface and you go Chappelle could sign off on it Oh no you got Chappelle you guys should have done rush hour which is blackface and you go chapelle could sign off on it oh no you got should have done it we're going to do it but what happened we didn't have enough outfits i have you have no outfits i would do white i would do uh can a black person do white face if they want yeah um nick cannon and uh snoop dogg did i don't know if it's okay jimmy kimball did it oh yeah white chicks oh yeah that's a great movie look at that ass damn bro you and chin should have an ass off
Starting point is 00:56:44 yeah dude and both of them already are Damn, bro You and Chin should have an ass off Yeah, dude And both of them already are We both lose You guys both need to hit up fucking Theo's trainer, man That ass is absent, dude Alright, so who won? Skittles I don't know how you decide
Starting point is 00:57:00 Yeah, how do you We'll put it out to the people Chappelle's looking pretty tasty though that's what i'm talking about i love mike and i chappelle's does look good feels definitely the worst no nicks is l nation is it yeah it's totally very uncomfortable mine's a you have a specific palette for mine you feel me yeah yeah dude you have candy corn and they're still that got voted worst candy in the world they're good no when you post it on
Starting point is 00:57:35 your instagram that candy is horrible what is it he posted something oh yeah that one it's like um i don't remember what kind it's it doesn't even have like a name on it. It's just like wrapped up. The black or, it's black or orange. Yeah. What is it? Taffy. What is the real story?
Starting point is 00:57:52 Oh, I love, like a Laffy Taffy? A saltwater taffy? What are we talking about? You'll see. You'll know exactly what we're talking about. Yeah, calm down, frickin' taffy, man. Like a beach taffy? Like a cinnamon taffy?
Starting point is 00:58:04 Like a what? Yeah. Oh, those. Oh, God. That candy. like a like a beach taffy like a cinnamon taffy like that yeah oh those oh god that candy sometimes you got the the freaking one on the bottom right that was like the nougat time of that new bro watch your watch your words in here dude brennan you gotta chill dude no it's a new year bro no you you quit saying it Okay. Like, thank you for having my back, Theo. I appreciate it. Anytime, bro. Great boss. This shit fucking pisses me off. Great boss. Anyways. This shit pisses me off.
Starting point is 00:58:30 But yeah, those candies are disgusting. Yeah. What do these little TikTokers want? What's up? Theo and Brandon. Got a king in her stinger for you guys. Me and my girlfriend trying to decide on a couple's costume idea for Halloween coming up. So if you guys can help us out,
Starting point is 00:58:48 that'd be awesome, man. Gang gang. Buzz buzz. Okay. Beautiful little mixed couple right there. Yeah, keep licking them lips, papi. Beautiful couple right there. Beautiful. You know?
Starting point is 00:59:03 I'm thinking of a good, well, what do you guys think, Culture Corner? What do y'all think for a good couple's costume? You could do like Ike and Tina Turner. Oh.
Starting point is 00:59:14 I mean, that might be a bit aggressive. It's also old. They're young, dude. They're young, so they could be Meg Thee Stallion and Tory Lanez.
Starting point is 00:59:20 That's what I was thinking. That's the modern day one. She's around. Yep. Nope, that's another old reference. Chris Brown and Rihanna? Chris Brown and Rihanna. That's what I was thinking. That's the modern day one. She's around. Yep. Nope, that's another old reference. Chris Brown and Rihanna? That was 10 years ago. But they know it.
Starting point is 00:59:30 But they know it, man. Yeah, they could be... Those are too obvious. What about Cardi B and her man? Offset? Yeah. My girlfriend and I are going to be Earthquake and Typhoon 90s wrestlers is your girl
Starting point is 00:59:46 a bigger woman? no she's been here before oh that's right well maybe she put on some LB's she's beautiful as ever which one are you going to be Nick? I think she called earthquake so I'm going to be typhoon
Starting point is 01:00:04 that's awesome that's going to be dope what are you guys doing be, Nick? And does it even matter? I think she called Earthquake, so I'm going to be Typhoon. They both look like Earthquake. That's going to be dope. What are you guys doing? Just hanging around the house? I don't know what the plan is. Just Royal Rumble. There you go. Beat up the neighbors, huh?
Starting point is 01:00:17 Royal Rumble in your pants. You feel me? Yeah, dude. If you still like fucking somebody that you're seeing. That's aggressive, dude. It's just old-fashioned, man. That's what they do on holidays, though, bro. Dude, if I'm seeing somebody.
Starting point is 01:00:33 Meanwhile, you'll be dressed as Tranny Andy jacking off. Yeah, maybe I'll dress up like Chin, huh? You can do that. Chin came in normal outfit saying, Oh, I'm Bobby Lee. That ain't Bobby Lee, dog. I love how you're just lying to us so straight-faced about it, dog.
Starting point is 01:00:56 That ain't Bobby. You put no effort into it, Chin. He forgot it was Bobby. Look at all the effort Chappelle went through. Oh, no, you see what I'm a mop. They called me a custodian the whole time. Finally, bro. Finally.
Starting point is 01:01:09 My bad. My bad. I'm going to be a metal singer, and they're just like, oh, you're a custodian. Bro, you're a bustodian, though, dude. A bustodian. Dude, you bust, and then Brendan sneaks over into it. Yeah. Brendan looks like somebody that would ice skate on some frozen bus.
Starting point is 01:01:29 Oh. Ooh, it's Bruce Jenner. Who is that? like somebody that would ice skate on some frozen bus oh these are yeah these are actually King in the sting fan submission videos of some of their costumes some real fast rip my dreads like Kenny Garcia's girlfriend that's a great one man oh there's Bobby Lee. That's a lot more Bobby Lee right there. Yeah, way more. Oh, King of the Sting. Oh, that's dope. Aw.
Starting point is 01:01:56 A little monster. Look at that. Look at that. Oh! Legend, bro. That is legendary. That's the best one. Oh, damn.
Starting point is 01:02:04 Oh! She got some thigh thighs. Bro, what are you talking about? That's a mother. Yeah, so? Moms count too, dog. Damn, Wario. Lay off the shrooms, bro. Ooh, a little gang.
Starting point is 01:02:17 Gang. Gang in the stink. Oh, there you go. Aaron Hernandez. That's a little trap queen. That's some little thot. Oh, yeah. Hacksaw Hernandez. That's some little trap queen. That's some little thot. Oh, yeah, Hacksaw Jim. That's a great one.
Starting point is 01:02:29 With a singlet. These are really good. Gang, bro. This is Hulk Hogan with his sex tape. He's got a sex tape? He does. Hulk Hogan? Yeah, it's like security footage from his home somebody stole.
Starting point is 01:02:41 I had an entire bit on it. I know he has sex tape. Oh, there's a little guy. Oh, there's the terrorist. That's going to scare people. Lieutenant Dan. Terrorist is dope costume, bro. That's hilarious.
Starting point is 01:02:57 Look at that ISIS costume. That is fantastic. Oh, Undertaker. Oh, that guy was on our podcast last week. That's Frank Johns. The mortician, right? Yeah. Yeah, that's frowned upon.
Starting point is 01:03:11 What did he say? Huh? Bro, everything. Really? Learned all about it. You can get buried 12 feet if you want. Instead of six? Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 01:03:19 What is the difference? Should we see a nice little montage of him? Yeah, let's watch it real quick. Yeah, let me see that, dude. All right, I got to take this. Now I just have to look because I cannot see. There you go. It's Chappelle.
Starting point is 01:03:30 When I came in to have the mask on, I went, oh, you're Dave Chappelle. Because he always rocks the onesie. It's a good costume, man. A little bit of blood. Put it on the plants or anything like that. You ever know anybody did anything like that? No. Now, can you eat near the bodies or not?
Starting point is 01:03:44 It's frowned upon. I bet he's eating by the bodies though huh? Damn bro you going to hell bro. He's at 4,000 embalms. Do a lot of people die holding their penis I feel like? No. How fast can you get me in the ground if I die? You guys do any like eight hour packages or anything? I'll get you in the ground pretty quick depending upon the cemetery. Amen. And how deep can you get me? Can I go 12 feet or it's only six? You can go deeper. Have they ever caught anybody in your industry doing something vile?
Starting point is 01:04:11 Yes. You know, stealing blood or copping femurs or something out of deceased or anything? And have you ever accidentally had the wrong body in a clothes casket? No. And now is it hard for you personally? Do you have trouble? Is it tough to meet women or something like that if you're working in the death trade you know i would not say that it's a chick magnet that was good what were you drinking there said liquid death yeah it's like a fancy water
Starting point is 01:04:37 yeah oh really yeah it's a fancy water company i thought you're back drinking again i'm gonna say i found a drinking partner yeah if i come out man out, man, I'll come out and drink. Yeah, no, not if you come out of the closet. I'm still waiting for that day. Bro, if I come out of the closet, who would I spend time with out of this room? I'll put that up on the candy board. And it would probably still be Kat. Thanks, Theo.
Starting point is 01:05:01 Ooh, that one's dope. Oh, that's dope. That's good. Is that Sam Tripoli on the right? I was going to be the Rat King, too, hence why the back room is so a mess. I can't find the costume. Oh, I have it at home. Oh, man.
Starting point is 01:05:15 See, I told you. He likes to keep it close to him. He can bust out any time. Sometimes if there's trouble outside in the yard, I'll put it on. Oh, yeah, scare the kids. Oh, bro, scare everybody. Oh, yeah. He nailed it. Oh, bro, scare everybody. Oh, yeah. He nailed it.
Starting point is 01:05:28 Oh, he did great. That was great. Oh, there's Kat. Ooh. Kat Tina there, baby. Yeah, huh? There's Brendan. Oh, is that Simple Jack?
Starting point is 01:05:40 No, it's Sling Blade. Oh, Sling Blade, dog. It could have been Simple Jack, though. Simple Jack, same vibe. Oh. That's a good one. It could have been Simple Jack, though. Simple Jack, same vibe. Oh. That's a good one. That's a great one. Love that.
Starting point is 01:05:49 Stone Cold, Rock. Damn, it looks just like Mankind. Mankind. Lots of wrestling. That's a good piece. There's Miley Cyrus and her dad. Oh, that's, no, that's Beth and Rip Wheeler from Yellowstone. Is it?
Starting point is 01:06:03 Yeah. That's a deep pull. If you're a Yellowstone fan, you know exactly what's going on. I think that's Miley Cyrus there. No, I'm telling you, that's Yellowstone, Doug. That's Miley Cyrus and Matt West, I think, or Matt... Matt West. Matt West from...
Starting point is 01:06:15 PBR. PBR. Nope. Whatever. And Megan, his lovely fiancee, Megan. And Megan's lovely fiancee. That does it for our King of the Sting. Damn, those were great.
Starting point is 01:06:26 Fan submissions. They were great. They were great. So what did those kids ask us? Couple costumes. Oh, couple costumes. We've got more videos. Those are just all the costumes.
Starting point is 01:06:34 What would y'all do? Chappelle, what do you think is a good couple costume for that pair? For them, since they're so young. Ooh, go as Machine Gun Kelly and Megan Fox. I said Chappelle. I know, that just hit me, though. Yeah. If I were them, I'd probably Slipknot.
Starting point is 01:06:50 Add another person to the mix. Like, hey, sweetheart, let's be Slipknot. Who are some other Slipknot characters they could be? They could be Mick. They could be Joey Johnson. Are there any females in the group? There's no females in Slipknot. Not shocked.
Starting point is 01:07:04 Yeah, not shocked. Yeah, not shocked. Not shocked. Let me guess. Their concert's real cockfest. Hey, is your girl dressing up? Yeah. I don't know. I didn't ask her.
Starting point is 01:07:15 Halloween's on Saturday. Yeah, she just realized it too. Is she going to dress in her regular clothes and say she's Bobby Lee? Fuck, man. It's tight. That shit is weak, dude. I like how he keeps trying to explain shit. It's weak. clothes and say she's Bobby Lee. That shit is weak, Jen. I like how he keeps trying to explain. He's like, look at the hood. Unbelievable, Jen. Let me see this video,
Starting point is 01:07:34 Nick. The big club. Store-bought costumes are homemade. Say goodbye. Bye. Gang gang bud buzz. She said store-bought costumes are homemade that's a good question that's me also um i would say oh homemade's the best man homemade by far listen if you buy it at the store one time me and my brother went to halloween party in denver it's freezing out my brother decided to buy a costume of a penguin. We showed up to the party.
Starting point is 01:08:07 There were 17 other fucking penguins. My brother got all drunk, fought the other penguins. Yeah, fuck these other penguins up, man. Yeah, they do that. It was a real penguin war. Exactly what I'm talking about. Yeah, every winter they fight each other to see who can keep the eggs. Yeah, Jay Shop.
Starting point is 01:08:21 And the man will go away for months. Jay Shop fought these other penguins. They steal eggs too, right? Yeah. Yeah, J-Shop. And the man will go away for months. J-Shop fought these other penguins. They steal eggs too, right? Yeah. Yeah. Penguins assholes, man. Yeah. They're just doing their best. They go hard. Yeah, they do go hard. That's a good point. J-Shop got drunk and went hard in the paint in his costume. Did he steal somebody's egg?
Starting point is 01:08:37 He really went out and pushed another penguin over a couch. Oh, damn. Okay, J-Shop. But it's also very easy for a penguin to fall over a couch i feel like yeah you know you have no yeah they waddle when they walk yeah they got no knees point is homemade's way better because then it's more original but homemade also is risque man i remember having to make my own homemade growing up and so i was like i remember doing um a archer one time like a peter pan archer and you mean robin hood yeah robin hood so i did so much like monofilament line trying to keep it all together though it looked like
Starting point is 01:09:14 like a busty a you know in the front of that oh i had tits in the front end tits in the low tits in the back dude yeah it's disgusting it's disgusting. I was a child. I was a child. But yeah, so sometimes, man, it's unbelievable. It was like a 200-pound test line, dude, so I couldn't get out of that shit, bro. My whole body started to, my arms started turning blue from blocking off the blood.
Starting point is 01:09:37 But that shit's dope. Nobody else had it. Like my French robot, you ain't never seen that on the streets. You mean you haven't? What's up? That's the only picture I've seen of it. Homemade all day, man.
Starting point is 01:09:47 Yeah. And what else, dude? What were you when you were a kid, Chen? You don't remember, you said? I don't remember my Halloween costumes. What are you? Come on. You know how many Wario's you got on Saturday?
Starting point is 01:09:58 You know how many years you were alive when you were a kid, Chen? I know my Halloween costumes when I was an adult. Okay. Yeah. You want to hear those yeah sure i dressed up as bobby lee no again you know you go there's like clubs you can go to for halloween your adults it's called a party the party so i would get those fake gold chains and silver chains and with pendants i'll make fake tattoos appropriation fake tattoos and i bought
Starting point is 01:10:21 a big woman's fur coat and then i would do magic tricks Because I was reading that book The Game I was picking up girls doing magic tricks And it worked Did it? Yes I'll tell you this story I got dicey I put on a bunch of jewelry and a fur coat The trick women with magic
Starting point is 01:10:43 Thanks for taking us through that shitty John Grisham novel Jesus bro were you David Blaine we're gonna buy that story at the airport it was horrible
Starting point is 01:10:52 here's what I'll tell you dude is one time I did Jesus Christ bro Jesus Christ okay and my girlfriend
Starting point is 01:10:59 was the devil and I made a real cross out of wood and brought it to a party carried it the whole night you did yeah it was like a 45-pound cross, too. What a terrible idea.
Starting point is 01:11:07 No homo, bro. What a terrible idea, though. Were you exhausted? Oh, but I did not give up, dude. I made her carry it once when I went to the bathroom. Oh, I bet that looked weird. Yeah. Yeah, I bet that did look weird.
Starting point is 01:11:18 Oh, was she a spicy Satan, though? Yeah. Yeah, she was. Some big horns out the front? Yeah, tits. Yeah! A tail out the back? Some milk horns? Yeah. Yeah, she was. Some big horns out the front. Yeah, tits. Yeah! A tail out the back. Some milk horns, yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:28 Yeah, dog. And then what else, dude? One time, oh, I was pedophile a lot when I was in college. Makes sense. Pedophile was great because here's what you could do. You could... You could... Hit on young girls?
Starting point is 01:11:42 No, you could... Oh, you just had to be real quiet. Get a mustache. Like a shirt that has like some leather on the. Oh, like the patches. Yeah. Put some markers in your pocket. The glasses. Get the glasses.
Starting point is 01:11:55 Mustache. Stand over off in the distance. Get you a little beer, maybe a little Coke. Oh, you would need wine coolers. Oh, yeah, buddy. I don't know if I had any of that. Mike's hard. Oh, that too. Oh, dude. need wine coolers. Oh, yeah, buddy. I don't know if I had any of that. Mike's hard. Oh, that too.
Starting point is 01:12:05 Oh, dude, Mike was hard. Pretty lame joke, really. I wouldn't have laughed at that. Your delivery was great, though. Thank you. I appreciate that, dude. Thank you, mop. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 01:12:20 It's hard when you have the only support in here is coming from a mop, bro. I'll get you. I'm particular, bro. I'll get you. I'm particular, bro. I'll get you. I'll get you. I love it, dude. That's that new Broadway musical mop.
Starting point is 01:12:35 I'll get you. That dirty mop. I'll get you. It's only a day away. What else did I dress up as, man? I was pedophile a couple years. I was Where's Waldo one year before everybody else was Where's Waldo. I was Where's Waldo before anybody had done it.
Starting point is 01:12:56 Where's Waldo was super popular. I was before that. My friend Todd drank some gasoline, and he had to go to the hospital. I bet he got lit. He's never been the same. He wasn't the same before it, though. He wasn't much before it. But what else did I do? Me and my brother in college dressed up as two nerds.
Starting point is 01:13:12 But now I look back and we look like two pedophiles. Because that outfit you just described is exactly how we dressed. That nerd nation. Oh, one time I was on this cruise ship and we were limited costumes. And this one fellow sold his pubic hair to be used as a mustache. time i was on this cruise ship and they had uh we were limited costumes and people were you know this one fellow sold his pubic hair to be used as mustache oh yeah it's dicey and i bought a little not much yeah not a lot i wasn't going heavy dog dog in college me and my roommates dressed up as you know we didn't have any costume ideas i'm not wearing i'm not wearing a lot of another man's
Starting point is 01:13:41 pubic hair around my fucking mouth dude like. Like some freak. Only a little, huh? Just something young, yeah. That 13-year-old mustache. In college, nobody had any outfits, and we were throwing the Halloween party at our house in college. So I went, don't worry, I got this. So I went to fucking Ralph's and got Depends, the big diapers. And I was like, well, I'll be big babies. So we all put these diapers on and had nothing else on.
Starting point is 01:14:05 We got real wasted. And then these hot chicks walked in. I hear him go, Oh, this is disgusting. And it hurt our feelings. Yeah. You got your feelings hurt.
Starting point is 01:14:13 Yeah. Hell yeah. Well, that's what you deserve. I'll cheer you the fuck up. Yeah. You that you, the cool mom,
Starting point is 01:14:19 you would have had me there. I would have cheered you up on. Oh yeah. He'll shine your floors. Yeah. Oh, Hey. Oh yeah. I'm gonna get you up on that. Hell yeah. He'll shine your floors, man. Clean up on aisle seven. He's that champ. Oh, hey. Hell yeah, dude.
Starting point is 01:14:28 I'm going to get you. I'm going to get you. I'm going to get you. I'll clean it up. I'll clean it up. He does look like a mom. Nah, I'll leave it. I got this.
Starting point is 01:14:35 Nah, you guys are good. I'll clean it up. Here's Frank Castillo has a question right here, man. Shout out to Frank. Great shirt. And he borrowed my nose to ask it this is Daniel coming at you from the beautiful island of Guam my country but I got a quick king and a stinger for you you guys like that shirt talking about those horror tattoos his are sick we got that jason damn that's good work that's so gary now you're only cool in october but that's
Starting point is 01:15:15 all right one of my favorite ones is pennywise oh my god that's the thing can you sting it Oh my God, that's dope. Can you sting it? Gang gang buzz buzz. Dude, king it. Especially in October, you're a real hit. The rest of the holidays get a little dicey. And then sting it if you have kids. That probably scares the shit out of kids.
Starting point is 01:15:36 Really? I feel like you would get used to it when you grow up seeing it all the time. I don't know. That it tattoo scares me at 37 years old. That could be scary for a child, man. Yeah. You can't hug a child with that kind of arm. That shit is...
Starting point is 01:15:49 But maybe in Guam, they're different. Yeah. They're not little pussies. That It tattoo is so good. That artwork is insane. In Guam, they're probably different, man. Look up something scary in Guam. Anybody ever been to a hurricane?
Starting point is 01:16:04 No, that's Mexico. I'm saying, do they have something like that in Guam? Oh ever been to Chupacabra? No, that's Mexico. I'm saying, do they have something like that in Guam? Oh, yeah. I'm sure. Anybody ever been to Guam here? I might have been there. I don't know where I've been these days. Something scary from Guam. Something like Tall Tale they got, you know?
Starting point is 01:16:22 Oh, they got haunted houses. Dude, are haunted houses still popping during COVID or can we not do that? They have like drive-through ones where it's like a haunted drive. Yeah. I'm out. In Arizona, they're doing them back home. Really? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:34 Oh, damn. We're there next week. I'm not going to a haunted house. Really? What else did they say? You look like you just got off. He's like, I don't want to go back to work. In Guam, you can go back in time.
Starting point is 01:16:50 So if you did something you regret, go back in time and fix it. That's what they do for people in Guam? You can do it a little. You can go back about 40 minutes. It's at a local residence. Dude, maybe we should do a podcast trip there. Go to Guam, dog. Hey, so I do remember now.
Starting point is 01:17:04 It came back to me. Uh-oh, there we go. When I was a kid. No, I'm serious. That's a fake story. No. Remember Greatest American Hero? Nope. He had a red suit on and he had an afro, but it was a white guy. He flew, but he could never land. Was he one of the American Gladiators? No. He could never land, though. He would fall and start tumbling.
Starting point is 01:17:20 No. So my mom would perm my hair and she made my outfit. Oh, you're older than us. What does he look like? Greatest American hero. Oh, never. It's not Hulk Hogan? Believe it or not, I'm walking on air. That was the theme song.
Starting point is 01:17:34 That's what I was when I was a kid. You guys don't remember this. That was your outfit? Yes. That man gay. Thank you. That man gay is, I mean, come on now. He was a superhero, but he couldn't
Starting point is 01:17:49 land. That chick is fine, though. Yeah, the girl is really hot. That's the OG Captain America. The greatest American hero. There you go. Have you ever seen the movie Sinister? That's the sign that Sinister leaves on all the...
Starting point is 01:18:04 What? It is? Yeah. I've never seen that movie. With Ethan Hawke, right? That's scary. Yeah. That's scary.
Starting point is 01:18:10 You know, I got voted scariest movie. What did? Over the Exorcist? Hell yeah. No way. Have you seen Sinister? Sinister's not that scary, I don't think. Ooh, I was scared.
Starting point is 01:18:18 Part 2's good, too. I've never seen it. You've never seen it? No. You just said it's not scary. I know. Oh, it's similar. Sinister's a great movie.
Starting point is 01:18:27 I was guessing. I like the new It's too. I was watching It last night. The girl fell asleep. I was scared. Yeah? The worst movie was the new Michael Myers, the latest one, the Halloween from last year. That's what you get.
Starting point is 01:18:38 Is that what Jamie Lee Curtis? That's what you get for watching it, dude. So bad. Terrible. So bad. It wasn't even scary. I've seen the new it's though oh they're good goddamn they're good i don't know it's good to still holds up over time
Starting point is 01:18:52 damn bad acting but whatever i don't know man i gotta freaking do four years in the persian gulf coming up i'm in the navy oh yeah i respect it thanks man appreciate my service appreciate my service what's this Nick this looks like another promotion for Nick's new podcast is that Jess Lockwood right there that's actually kind of cool
Starting point is 01:19:22 that's awesome she's got a video to go along with it yeah I love pitbulls running on and she's a him Brandon and Theo what's going on what's up brother you from Toronto Ontario Canada yes I love Toronto and with Halloween around the corner I got a king at her stinging for you dogeen costumes oh that thing's bucking like he's a horse gang gang buzz buzz i love it man i think if you got a dog you dress him up and that's what he gets yep that's what he gets for living at somebody else's house eating out of a small bowl not paying rent yeah freeloader dress his little ass up i put him in a little thong too
Starting point is 01:20:03 hell yeah a little thong at the back. Put a little thong on that asshole. Nuts at the side. Hell yeah. Amen. Welcome to West Hollywood, dude. Welcome to Hollywood, period. Hell yeah. Welcome to the Abbey, little bitch. Yeah, dog. Or also, you could dress him in something
Starting point is 01:20:18 real Mexican, you know? Something Fools Gone Wild shit. A lot of dogs, or perros they call them, can be can dress up like Fools Gone Wild shit. A lot of dogs or peros they call them can be can dress up like Fools Gone Wild. Fools Gone Wild. You could also dress your dog you could dress your dog
Starting point is 01:20:31 as Dogface. Put him on a skateboard. Put a little feather on. A lot of people are going to be Dogface. I bet Dogface is one of the number one costumes this year. Oh yeah it has to be.
Starting point is 01:20:40 Oh you just carry around cranberry juice on a skateboard? Because it's nice if you have something to drink, you know? Mm-hmm. Get you a little Mexican drink or something. And something good happened to Dogface, too.
Starting point is 01:20:52 He got some new thing. I think he just bought a house. Somebody gave him a house. Ocean Spray gave him a damn house. They gave him a damn house? Yeah. He's balling. Shout out to Ocean Spray.
Starting point is 01:21:01 They built him a little house made out of, it looks like an Ocean Spray bottle. Yeah. The only way to get in and out of the house is through the top. You out to Ocean Spray. They built him a little house made out of, it looks like an Ocean Spray bottle. Yeah. The only way to get in and out of the house is through the top. You have to twist the door open. But no, he's living it up. Every day he's got something new going on.
Starting point is 01:21:14 Yeah. Yeah, he's crushing it. He's big vibes, man. He's just coasting, bro. Yeah. He's enjoying it, man. He's doing what we should all be doing. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:23 Loving life. Loving life. Amen, man. Amen. Happy Halloween, huh? bro yeah he's enjoying it man he's doing what we should all be doing yeah loving life loving life amen man amen happy halloween uh happy halloween everybody be safe out there kids last year we were uh buzz lightyear and woody you know budget cuts pandemic man it's pandemic yeah it's tough times times homes i would say best costume of the day goes to the mop over there hey i would agree guys i appreciate that the happy mop off bravo i'm gonna get you that's the name of my that's the name of the play yeah we'll get you single i'm gonna get you dang it's scary though he's scary yeah you are scary but now that we keep
Starting point is 01:22:04 calling you a mob you look friendly it's getting better it's getting better though. He's scary. Yeah, you are scary. But now that we keep calling you a mob, you look friendly. It's getting better. It's getting better? I'm growing on y'all? Now, what about Kat, though? Kat is the most creative. Chins was the weakest. Let's be real.
Starting point is 01:22:16 Let's call it what it is. Also, Nick, you could have put a little more effort in. You got your dick in our face. You got your flat ass out the back. That's a lot of effort, dog. I came here today expecting to be the Rat King. I was practicing my lines. Nick, you
Starting point is 01:22:30 were very brave today. Would have been nice. They had a couple Rat Kings last year. We saw a couple. Nick, you should have dressed up as Iggy Azalea. Oh my god, yes. Iggy, Iggy, pussy, pussy. Iggy, Iggy, pussy, pussy, pop it, pop it. Remember that? Yeah, he remembers it. She's a single mom now.
Starting point is 01:22:46 Very hard to forget. Is she really? I saw that coming. Oh, man. Who isn't? Who isn't a single mom? When are you going to have one, Kat? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:22:54 I would like to have one end of my 20s, early 30s. So in the like, no, I'm 25 now. So like, if there's anybody who wants to have a kid in 3 years, let me know. Be careful now, Kat. You're going to be a lot of donors. I just want to keep
Starting point is 01:23:16 my options open right now. Flip through a book. Yep, they're open. Why don't you have one, Theo? I'm thinking about having one you're 47 years old dude F you bro you look like a freaking valet
Starting point is 01:23:29 at somebody's colon alright touched a nerve I I bet yeah sorry dude but fuck you bro
Starting point is 01:23:43 damn right in the ass I didn't know that was the one that would get ya all the years of jokes But fuck you, bro Damn, Reggie D.M. I didn't know that was the one that would get you All the years of jokes That's the one that got you I said have a kid and fucking Fuck you, bro I'm fucking trying I'm fucking trying, man
Starting point is 01:23:58 Dude, I masturbated yesterday, you fool Yeah, you're in preparation Well, that ain't helping anybody Yeah, dog It's training them I'm gonna move to East LA and have a fool't helping anybody. Yeah, dog. I'm going to move to East LA and have a fool's gone wild, baby dog. Get with just a real freaking... They get verified yet?
Starting point is 01:24:13 Oh, dude. They haven't been verified yet. They need to. When are you going to have a kid? I don't know. I don't know. After getting married, I'm not going not gonna have one out of wedlock yeah ideally ideally are you trying like 28 uh 32 same thing are you thinking about marriage uh yeah uh for sure one day um wow yeah it hasn't even been a year with my girlfriend but uh yeah
Starting point is 01:24:41 sorry love is tight i told her I love her. Love is tight. Whoa, whoa. It's the Halloween episode, you fucks. What are you saying? You guys love your girlfriends? Y'all are gay. Yeah, this ain't love line, gays. You asked me about a kid. First comes love. Then comes marriage.
Starting point is 01:24:59 But Chevelle's going too hard on the love. Dude, you can't dress like that and tell us about love is tight. Chin, you and your girl? We don't want kids. Never? Oh my God, Chin. How many L's? How many L's you want to take?
Starting point is 01:25:13 Came in with a costume. Hard L. We don't want kids. I'm Bobby Lee. We don't want kids. I'm having a great time. Look. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 01:25:26 Oh. Chappelle, you want kids? I shouldn't say that. I love you. Yeah. Chappelle needs to have some kids, dude. Yeah, he'd be a good dad. I want to see what some of those angry kids he has.
Starting point is 01:25:37 I worked in a daycare. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Chappelle's worked everywhere, dude. Yeah. Everything you say to Chappelle's done it. Uh-huh. High school, daycare. He was a governor, he said somewhere. Yeah, Iappelle's worked everywhere, dude. Yeah. Everything you say to Chappelle's done it. Uh-huh. High school, daycare.
Starting point is 01:25:46 He was a governor, he said somewhere. Yeah, I was a governor at one point. College. Yeah. College. Yeah, college. NASA, he told me the other day. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 01:25:54 Oh, yeah. We were talking about it. I told Theo. I was like, yeah, I worked for NASA. He's like, whoa. He said he had a space shuttle with a V6 in it. Uh-huh. I was like, I don't know, man.
Starting point is 01:26:03 I think it was great. Yeah. Well, happy Halloween, y'all happy halloween y'all i'm in phoenix next week stand up live thursday friday saturday phoenix and i'm in nashville dog yeah that's right i'm in nashville uh boise idaho one show theater show. December 5th. I love Boise, Idaho. Almost sold out. About to add a second show, you little maggots. Yeah. Yeah, I'm trying to get some shows, man. I don't have anything on the docket right now.
Starting point is 01:26:32 You're getting up in Nashville, though. I thought about maybe getting up November 4th. Do you think it's weird to get up the day after the election or not? No, I'll do it. Nah, people need to get out. They need it. You think? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:26:41 Yeah. Yeah, maybe November 4th I'll get out. There you go. So maybe keep your eyes out for that. Maybe you'll come by Zaney's in Asheville. I might. Yeah, we'll see. We'll see what I'm doing.
Starting point is 01:26:53 A man might be busy. Oh, I'll be at Tempe Improv. Oh, let me look at your schedule. Oh, okay, Brendan, thanks. Wide open. Look it. I'm just going to come y'all. Oh, sorry.
Starting point is 01:27:00 Go ahead. Are you going to be at Zaney's too? Are you coming? No. Yeah, he'll be at Zaney's. I'll be at Zaney's with him. Oh, damn. Okay. But November 27th through the 29any. I'll be a Zany Stewart. Oh, damn. Okay.
Starting point is 01:27:05 But November 27th through the 29th, I'll be at Tempe Improv, my hometown. Come say what's up. Those tickets are online. You're going to dress like that? No, I won't. You should. Yeah, I'll be regular me. I'll go back to me.
Starting point is 01:27:16 Happy Halloween, y'all. Happy Halloween, y'all. Happy Halloween, guys. Happy Halloween, guys. Chappelle is starting to look like he gave up. If you're struggling, I can spot you for the Dollar Shave Club Keanu Reeves wants his beard back, enough is enough Elise Thiel's hairstyle is consistent
Starting point is 01:27:35 Looking like Danny Boone from a distance Wouldn't want to scare you cause your hair just might jump off Hey Brendan, will you share your energy drink? You should change your name from Streaks to Kink and the Stink I know you're used to fighting in the rain Are you the king? Are you the king? Are you the state? What do you think?
Starting point is 01:28:17 Gotta get deals from boys that won't quit Getting owned up by the loser, pay pigs Do you accept PayPal or transfer wise? They won't quit getting blown up by the loser pay pigs Do you accept PayPal or Transferwise? Chilling at home sending out the drunk text Burner account into the VX Do you know a slurper who feels is actually considered polite? Why?
Starting point is 01:28:43 You're coming with the corrections click Wrapping all that, it gave me a fucking slick Me, your own Brendan under the desk Touching each other's knees You came like me Steed like a bee Actuality The big head of baby
Starting point is 01:29:15 King in the sting Oh, the king and the sting

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