The Golden Hour - Episode 94: All Families Matter
Episode Date: November 6, 2020The guys welcome in a surprise Tik Tok Superstar and talk Election Day, Thick Whites, Dances With Wolves vs Yellowstone, Pigeon Indians, RIP merch, Tik Tok Stars, Shells vs Mac &a...mp; Cheese, Single Cat Dads and much more!Butcher Box - https://butcherbox.com/katsBlue Nile - https://bluenile.com/ use code: KATS Postmates - download the app and use code KATS2020ShipStation - https://shipstation.com/ offer code: KATSSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I feel like this is a slur that's been wiped from the internet.
Yeah.
Look, I don't know about that.
A solid point.
I was just saying, I got about probably 15% pigeon in me, you know?
Uh, like if you throw a bunch of seed around me on the ground, I fucking loot my shit.
I don't know.
Gang gang.
Buzz buzz!
Back off my broccolini. Get your life together. It is. Don't touch me bro. I think Nick's been sleeping here again.
Yeah.
Got a dog here.
We got fucking Nick Davis podcast network logos everywhere.
Trust me.
That's why I had to get out of there, man.
If you guys can't tell, I'm wearing the –
this is that very much the Christopher Reeves goes to Utah attire.
Okay.
You think the fans will notice that you're zooming in?
It looks like I put my money together and bought one of those holograms
like Kanye bought Kim Kardashian and you passed away.
It looks like we're talking to you from heaven right now.
How is it up there, man?
I actually gave you guys a scoring update on who's coming to heaven
and who's not.
scoring update on who's coming to heaven and who's not chin is not coming that makes sense Oh cat right now has the inside track
Chappelle way Brendan it's still up in the air, brother.
Still up in the air, brother.
Same as always.
Look, it makes my nose look big, and it makes it look like I have a mullet.
What's up with that scarf, though?
That scarf goes hard in the paint.
You look like a product of two moms.
Damn. I look like a hit man at a Michael's crash store.
You look like a spy for Hobby Lobby. Oh, for sure, bro.
I'm telling you guys, this is from the Christopher Reeves Trail Rider collection.
Trail Rider?
Yeah, this is from Christopher Reeves Goes to Utah.
I'm Superman.
What are you doing, brother?
How is it in Nashville, man?
Look, man, it is what it is.
People are surviving right now.
People are losing their minds out in the street right now because of the elections.
And any prediction on the election
out of you because in la we have no clue dog yet here it's we have no clue i think i think
i think it's one of these older perverted men is gonna win that's a fair call i think they should
just go through and see who has the most nudes in their phone, and that's the guy who wins. Okay.
But for every underage nude you have, you lose a point.
Oh.
Smart.
But there won't be – will they riot in Nashville if it doesn't go their way?
I don't think so.
I don't think people are going to riot.
I mean, you really think people are going to?
Oh, yeah.
You need to get back to L.A.
You're losing your mind, man.
You crazy.
They're boarding shops up here.
Santa Monica's boarded up.
There's SWAT teams rolling around.
Are you serious?
Yeah, dog.
Welcome to L.A.
I haven't seen any of it.
Where have you been, though?
I live in Hollywood.
Well, you were in Santa Monica yesterday.
Dude, he lives in Hollywood, bro.
Yeah.
You live out in the Chase Manhattan Hillsattan hills bro you're gonna be fine dude
right i'll be fine chin yeah chin chin got a gun chin's worried i did get a gun chin tell
about the crime at your apartment complex that's been going on it is true though so two people were
shot two people have been shot one was killed in the elevator. There was an armed robbery inside my parking structure.
And then people continue to just break down our building.
Like they just break the windows and gang shit,
all that stuff.
There's a lot of rappers that live there,
by the way.
Oh,
wow.
I'm just saying.
What's that deal?
Are these bad friends fans or who are these?
No idea.
It sounds like a very shady group.
I don't know if you guys have seen this
kind of pro-Antifa type of
weekly thing.
It's bad friends or something.
Chin, are you scared?
I'm not scared. I'm more like
it sucks because I can't leave.
I can't come back.
You're not going to go anywhere?
Well, I'm supposed to go camping on Thursday so
hopefully done nothing happens before Thursday so I can actually leave and be
going yeah yeah camping fishing yeah but I'll be real honest with you man coming
from a guy who's considering murdered a lot of people of different ethnicities,
I'm going to tell you this, man.
There's something peaceful I feel like about...
I feel like if you killed an Asian person, they're not going to be really upset about it.
They'll be more respectful.
Yeah.
It won't make the news.
Yeah, they'll be more respectful.
They'll be like, oh, what'd you do that?
Yeah, I won't make you do that? So sorry.
Asian people have respect no matter what.
No matter what is going on.
You'll throw an Asian guy in a fire and he'll be like,
It's so hot in here.
Yeah, I remember that monk.
Like, okay!
Yeah, that monk did not move.
He didn't move at all.
He didn't say nothing.
You should have a lot more respect.
So I think, yeah, if you're going to kill somebody in your elevator, Chin,
I would go, I don't know who I would go.
I'd go white, probably.
Why white?
Chunky white.
Yeah, give us the size of the white.
Thick white.
Thick white.
You got to stab so many times
if you're stabbing a thick white man yeah yeah it's a lot of work before you hit an organ it's
like trying to uh get one of those balls in the fishbowl at the fair you know yeah it's exhausting
oh as long as you'll lose your hand in there
damn so yeah i don't know chin if shit hits the fan and things get racial in the streets who do
you go with i don't go with anyone there you go hits the fan and things get racial in the streets, who do you go with?
I don't go with anyone.
There you go.
That's all I'm saying. I'll just hang out with my family in Orange County.
Now, are you thinking about protesting out in Nashville, Theo, if shit hits the fan?
You going to be out there in that scarf?
This isn't a scarf, Brennan.
This is a business neck piece, you goon.
Oh, my bad.
Is it a mascot? Yesnan. This is a business neck piece, you goon. Oh, my bad. Is it an ascot?
Yes, it probably is.
Probably.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm trying to figure it out.
What color is it?
It's black.
Is it?
It's green.
It's green.
Yeah, that's more like it.
Is it green?
Yeah, I mean, even with glasses.
It's like a dark green color.
Does that look green to you guys?
It looks black from here.
I look like an outdoor librarian.
Books are right over here.
I can't see Brendan or I'd rip into his little
gristle ass.
You can't see me, Doug. I've been lighting up this whole show
and you can't see me. This is great.
We'll take a picture and send it to you.
We'll take a picture and send it.
Send it, Doug. Light this up, bitch.
You can't see me?
Yeah, I just can't see you, dude.
That's the problem.
Okay, I'll send you the photo now, Theo.
You getting the photo now, dog?
We got Riley Mao is in here today as well helping out.
What's up, Riley?
What's up, Riley?
Theo, who do you see?
Hey, Riley.
What's up, Riley?
Pleasure to meet you finally
And he's of age as well
He's of age
He's Japanese
Thank you Riley
Is he Japanese
I didn't see him
Little youngster you got your little youngster
You got a little extra from Apple over there huh
He's of age man
Have you ever
worked at apple nobody wants to he said i knew it it is on his list of things to do you know
must be nice when you have all that time to kill now that's another thing i get
jealous about some asians select asians about is how much time they have.
Because we live forever.
Oh, they keep well. An Asian keeps well.
You look crazy, man. Why'd you go with
the black background and your scarf match?
Have you been to this
studio? It's a shithole.
You look like the Undertaker's side piece.
Yeah, just the taker.
That WWE twink, Doug.
Oh, God.
Throw me off the top rope. Throw me off the top rope. Suplex me, Doug. Oh, God. Throw me off the top rope.
Off the top rope.
Suplex me, daddy.
Catch me in your arms.
Suplex me into somebody's ass.
What are you guys doing, man, besides ruining the podcast while I'm out of town?
You know, just trying to hold it together, man.
The Zoom. Now, with that nose,
can you smell farts even through the Zoom?
Has anybody farted yet?
Bro, I can smell through time.
Bro, I can smell
a pie baking
contest from 1989.
Hey, Nick, now,
do you want to be able to see the questions from the fans?
I'm working on that.
We may have to just –
he'll definitely be able to hear them.
We may have to describe to him.
Budget cuts.
Corona hit hard, King of the Sting.
We're going to try something.
I just want to make sure I don't have that reverb again.
How about we sell that little fucking mutt walking around here to get Theo a fucking one-way ticket back to L.A.?
Budget cuts.
What little mutt?
There's a little hound strolling around here.
I think Nick's living out of the studio again, dog.
I'm going to be honest.
I don't want to snitch on him, but I saw a pair of his underoos again hanging around here.
I was just going to say that.
I wasn't hiding that information, but we didn't talk about it.
You didn't know he could know this.
You can't see the dog.
He knows.
He's met Chewy, though.
Look, here's the problem is, and I'm going to tell you the problem.
First of all, every one of you guys seem like semi-decent people um not you chin
second of all i i i beg with i say guys we need to get a mexican we need to get some latino
influence you guys get a dog that dog was born in mexico no joke he's an illegal the dog's as mexican as it gets
i'm not doubting the paperwork on that asking you shall receive doug yeah
and i respect the fact we don't have to pay him i do respect that so that is a good look
but still man at least you could have got at least you could have got something a little more human,
maybe something with some feats on it, you know?
Yeah, Brendan, it's Thanksgiving.
It's the word Thanksgiving, man.
Our whole lives it's been the same word.
Dude, be thankful that someone's giving you some meat in your mouth
that you actually want this time.
No one's forcing it in your mouth.
We're talking about that Butcher Box, man.
There's something to be extra grateful about because Butcher Box has the best meat for you.
Every month, Butcher Box ships and creates a selection of high-quality meats right to your doorstep, man.
I'm talking 9 to 11 pounds of meat for your ass, Theo.
Dude, I'm dressed like Andy Blufrein, you feel me?
Hell yeah, dog.
You look like you want salami in your mouth now.
And listen, ButcherBox is a no-brainer.
I want that summer sausage in the winter, you feel me?
Hell yeah, dog.
I'll make that happen.
I'm in Nashville in two weeks.
Listen, 100% grass-fed, finished beef.
Organic free range.
Finished beef, dude.
Dude, let me finish that beef, son.
Organic free range chicken.
You're a whole guy, bro.
Dog, we're talking about wild-caught Alaskan salmon,
not that little bitch salmon that gets caught up in them streams that you eat, man.
I'm talking about this salmon's free, and they catch it.
Put it up your stream right here, bro.
Yeah, dog, stream it.
Right now.
Go to Road Tracks and put this thing up your stream, you little creep.
Right now, Butcher Box is offering new members a turkey for free in their first box. stream it right now tracks and put this thing up your stream your little creep right now butch
rocks is offering new members a turkey for free in their first box that's an entire turkey for free
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Let me stop you right there, you slow, thoroughbred.
Let me stop you right there, man.
What we're talking about is it's that time of year where you've got to give somebody something. Maybe your friend just got out of prison. Maybe your
old lady, you know, she gave birth behind bars, but now she's being released. She's coming back
home. How do you get something, you know, how do you get something for somebody who has nothing?
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Yeah, man.
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But let's get into it.
What have you been doing, Brendan?
You know, Halloween with the kiddos. My Halloween suit caught on fire.
I was Wario. I was Fat Wario and the suit caught on fire.
Saw that. I saw you in that dime piece of yours going trick-or-treating door-to-door.
What did you do for Halloween, man? I didn't even ask you.
Just saying, man. If anything ever happens to you, bro, you know what I'm saying i'm saying dog oh you thought you next in line dog you're the next batter up look dude i'll put on 70 pounds
dude and uh unlearn a little you gotta be into chicks though that's the only caveat
okay we might have a little hang-up there.
But as long as I'm scared of snakes, I'm sure I'll be fine.
What did you do for Halloween, Doug?
Did you dress up at all or anything?
I went trick-or-treating in Louisiana.
Oh, that's right.
It was pretty dope, actually. Some of the ways that people were giving out
candy from their houses, they had little
slides and shooting it out of little
artillery things and
just different ways,
non-contact,
sugaring. Hell yeah.
Did you get together with your
softball team?
No, I'll see them tomorrow, actually.
Ooh, big game?
No, we have a meeting tomorrow.
One of the restaurants here actually caught fire,
and so I guess a couple of our players are kind of displaced or semi-displaced.
This sounds like a dope team.
Dog, in two weeks, I'm in Nashville.
You get them little hoes together, I'll strike out every one of you little bitches.
God, what?
Bro, we'll get the whole team together and play Godzilla with you.
That's what we'll do.
Whoa.
Smear the Godzilla?
Yeah.
Something like that, man.
Sign me up, Doug.
Yeah, we're just celebrating over here.
Riley Mal got his first kiss last night from a female.
Oh!
Okay.
Let's go, Riley.
So you got a lot of support, Riley.
Did the lips feel different than dudes, or what's he say?
Well, he just said he got semi-taken advantage of
while he was watching a movie from a woman.
That sounds like it was an older lady.
Was it an older lady?
Very enjoyable.
No, she's semi-local, you know?
What?
Semi-local.
What ethnicity?
What ethnicity was she, really?
White, pretty white
Off white, matte finish kind of
Did Riley meet her on his own
Or is she a TPW fan?
Did you meet her on your own
Or is she a podcast fan?
You would know if she's TPW
Because she'd be crying.
Good call.
Crying is a popular way to shed body water as well, Brendan.
Somebody could use a couple sad books.
I'll say this, though.
No, he met her through a friend.
Oh, that's nice.
Theo, can you see our shared screen now?
I can, actually.
Awesome.
I see you're ready to go.
And that was a good half hour.
I like it.
Stripped down, no videos.
We're just chatting.
That was fun, guys.
We did it.
Nick's all stressed out.
Poor Nick.
I bring stuff up. Is he like, is he frozen now?
No, he's not frozen.
I don't know the last time I saw Nick, though,
but he looks like a body double for Tom Hanks in Castaway these days.
Yeah, that's Nick.
And he even smells like seaweed sometimes, which is unbelievable.
That's what happens when you date an Asian girl.
You smell like seaweed afterwards.
And also when you're up all night on the phone with Riley Mao editing this past weekend from LA while he's in Nashville.
It was a good time, though.
Riley did a good job.
That'll do it.
He did do a good job, man.
Should we check out what this guy has to say?
Yeah, let's hear from this one.
Yeah, let's hear what this guy has to say right here.
This guy, obviously, who has been wearing a little bit of
eyeliner.
Theo, this is Kyle
coming at you guys from Bricktown, New Jersey.
Clearly driving to Proud Boys. Got a debate
club for y'all. This suits
Big Brown a little bit more than
Theo, because Theo's that dirty South.
You feel me? Amen, baby.
Kevin Costner, Hitters.
Dances with Wolves or Yellowstone?
Let me know what y'all think.
Love you guys.
Gang, gang.
Dutton dudes.
Oh.
Bro, I love Dances with Wolves.
Dutton.
Have you seen Yellowstone?
I have not yet.
So you're out.
I don't know if anyone else here has watched it, though.
Y'all some hoes.
No one's seen Yellowstone?
Theo definitely hasn't seen it.
Nope.
I saw trailers.
Theo, have you seen Dancing with the Wolves?
I haven't seen Yellowstone, but I obviously have subscribed to their merch drop.
What?
And actually, this shirt came with a real
fake gold nugget in the pocket.
Ooh.
Maybe a little arrowhead in the pocket.
Whose birthday is it?
Whose birthday is it?
Whose birthday is it?
Whose birthday is it?
Whose birthday is it?
Listen, Dance with the Wolves was cool,
but Yellowstone's original.
That shit is dope.
Three seasons. They're filming season's original. That shit is dope. Three seasons.
They're filming season four now.
It's so good.
But Dance with the Wolves is original, too, man.
Yeah.
No.
And Dance with the Wolves, Brendan, it is, okay?
And honestly, I have a family member who is part Native American,
part Pigeon Indian.
Oh, okay.
Is he a Pigeon Indian?
I never heard of that, but go ahead.
Never heard of that.
Yeah, pull it up, Nick. Pull up the Pigeon. Pigeon Indian? I never heard of that. I never heard of that. Pull it up, Nick. Pull up the pigeon.
Pigeon Indian? Does that just mean
a white person? No,
hill people. They call them hill.
No, hill people are West Virginia, dog.
Yeah, well, whatever, man.
No, domestic pigeon, that's an animal, bro.
Pigeon Indian?
Yeah, pigeon Indian, man brief very brief tribe yeah anyway they had a couple year run but
i feel like this is a slur that's been wiped from the internet yeah
i was gonna say i got about probably 15% pigeon in me, you know?
Like, if you throw a bunch of seed around me on the ground,
I'm fucking looting my shit.
It's like catnip for you, Theo?
Yeah, right?
Oh, man.
I'll be there all afternoon.
You'll keep me busy.
If I was a security security guard you could rob my
bank dude with just a handful of seeds it's like skateboard skateboards for chapelle you'll not
i go crazy yeah i yeah i can't handle it um but anyway dances with wolves man uh
i remember the film pretty well and we actually did a reenactment of it there's a couple scenes during uh church camp once but they had um if you ever we used to play charades a lot of times
i feel like we're at theo's funeral and he's talking to us
about the good days he recorded a message for everybody after he's gone.
He's just firing shots off at people.
His final message.
His final message would be about Indian pigeons.
This is like Michael Jordan's Hall of Fame induction speech.
He just blamed everybody.
Look, first I want to thank everybody for coming today.
And I know half you guys probably drove a long way to be here.
Or Ubered.
Hopefully we sold tickets.
Or Ubered.
Make sure you get your merch in the bag, everybody.
Theo RIP merch.
That's going to be a hot seller.
Yeah, get that Grave Gang shirt on the way out grave gang we even got bottled tears in the back for the vips
get that bottle service baby
speaking of uh vips uh oh did you have something, Theo? No, I got nothing else, man. But that fellow,
what was he asking about? Oh, Dances with Wolves
that I love. And I love doing Dances with Wolves
because it's a good learner's
thing
for charades. If you're doing charades
with a child and they don't know how to
do it and you're trying to explain it and they
just keep kind of beating their head against
the desk or just sucking on a fucking
marker.
You give them dances with wolves,
and it's easy to figure out dances with wolves.
Yeah, y'all some hoes because you can't.
Listen, the Dutton Ranch, Yellowstone, Rip Wheeler, Bath,
that shit is fire.
Until you've seen it, y'all can't jump in this combo.
Well, you've got to start with dances with wolves first.
Dude, that came out in the early 90s. I know. You've got to start with Dances with Wolves first. Dude, that came out in the early 90s.
I know.
You've got to start with that.
If you haven't started with that, then you can't watch Yellowstone.
They have nothing to do with each other, you know?
I mean, it's modern.
It moves into the modern world.
Nah, you've got to peep it, man.
Yeah, but look, if you want to do all the Indians have iPhones and all that shit,
then go on, Brendan, okay?
Do that new age shit.
But I'm talking old school, man. man I mean I just think it's easy to
help a kid learn charades dance with wolves is a good thing to learn charade by um whereas
Yellowstone it's kind of hard to do Yellowstone how do you do that so based on which one is easier
to do charades I'm going with Dane Silver. That's fair.
That's very fair.
So we do have a guest. And what do you guys think?
Kat, when y'all see the Native Americans, what do you guys
think? Are you guys good with them
or what's up? Oh, yeah, we're great
with them. I mean, a lot of people, you
included, have said that I look Native American.
No, you don't look
no Native American. He can't fucking see.
He thinks I look like everyone
you want to borrow my thick glasses el poyo loco was native american
i respect it uh shout out to native americans but native americans have beautiful hair you never see
a bald native american that's a legit point you know the only time you see them bald if they get
scalped you feel me oh i've seen a lot of bald native americans you've seen a lot of no you've
seen a lot of Indians no Indians have gray hair too Native Americans have gray hair Indians usually
don't no Indian Indian is where like girls get weaves from like that's Indian here
Well the girls I'm talking about dudes. We're only talking about good here, too. No yes, no yes, I don't feel
They're wiling over here man. No we're not bro. I'm from Silicon Valley
full of Indians
Dude, I'm racist, bro. I have no idea.
Good for you, Theo. Good for you.
What else you got, Nick?
Theo is always worried. He wants to keep this show current, keep us hip.
Make sure trends don't pass us by.
I invited a TikTok superstar
here to come and explain some of the newest TikTok trends.
Is he of age or is she of age?
Just barely.
You wouldn't tell it.
He's very, very young-looking skin.
But why don't you come on in?
Young-looking skin.
Superstar.
That's a loose term.
Superstar.
Don't trip.
Don't trip.
Oh, man.
I'm fucking up the wires.
What's up, dog?
Did you knock shit over? No. He, man. I'm fucking up the wires. What's up, dog? Did you knock shit over?
No.
He's good.
He didn't knock anything down.
You can take a cat or a spot.
What's up, young fella?
What's up, Brandon?
How you doing?
Nice to see you.
The kicks.
The Barons.
All right.
How you doing?
Some Jordan 1 Barons.
Dude, we got a real TikTok star.
That's dope as fuck.
Moose turn.
What's up?
I thought everybody would be. I've seen this kid on TikTok star. That's dope as fuck. Moose-turned-star. I thought
everybody would be... I've seen this kid on TikTok
before. What's up, Dio?
What's up, Playboy?
How you doing, man? I'm good. How are you?
We sat you next to
Chappelle so you could ride it home.
Damn, I'm going to get canceled this podcast.
You won't, man.
Brendan, I don't know if you know Gianni.
We're really proud of him.
He's in Power Book Ghost 2.
He's in a new series on Starz that works for 50 Cent,
the guy who got shot and murdered but came back to life.
Oh, the guy who's pro-Trump, right?
Movies.
That's a good point.
First of all, Theo, a long time ago you said he was in the Book of Mormon.
50 Cent?
Okay, I had the title wrong.
He was like, yeah, Gianni's on the Book of Mormon. Ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah, it is a show with seven titles.
Little Pimp is here.
Did you buy a Lamborghini?
Not yet, no.
They gave that to me for like a couple weeks to drive around.
All I had to do was post about it.
Oh, you're just stunting with it?
Yeah, I just pretended like it was mine.
All right.
That's very 50 Cent-like.
There he is right there.
J. Crew, obviously.
Who's that New Age Urkel behind you?
Oh, damn.
No, that's my homie Michael Rainey Jr.
He's my co-star on the show.
Oh, yeah.
I thought that he did Family Matters. Tossed a white guy the show. Oh, yeah. I thought that he did Family Matters.
Tossed a white guy in, finally.
Called All Families Matter.
All Families Matter.
If you watch some of Gianni's Instagram videos,
he basically will film Michael Rainey and then just laugh at him for no reason, basically.
90% of their relationship.
But Gianni, we want to know, how do you get into TikTok-ing and what do you need to do?
Yeah, are me and Theo too old for it?
No, see, I ran Theo's TikTok for like three, four months, and he got like, I think, 300K 300k like that quick and then i ran santino's
and got him like a half a mil in like a couple months the good wow okay okay wow you're what's
known as a ghost tiktoker yeah literally yeah it's easy because i think i found you another
gig because i need to get on there with shows like this and um and like bad friends obviously
it's so easy because you
just pull like 40 second clips and people think it's funny like there was a there was one video
with santino and bobby where santino was making fun of bobby that he ate his cat that died it was
like pretty like baseline i thought it was funny but i posted it and it got like 10 million views
and i think he got a hundred thousand followers just from that jesus christ the way tick tock works is literally like a wildfire it's like once it hits somewhere
like it goes everywhere and viral yeah you'll go viral like quick and then you'll get no followers
for like a couple weeks until you post something interesting now is there a lot of people on tick
tock yeah see it's so interesting because the way tick tock works is like your for you page there's
a for you page which is like suggested videos and there's a following so it's like what who you follow so for example your for you page is going to look so different
than brennan's because he'll be liking different things got it so yeah this dude like tiktok genius
dog yeah so basically like yeah if you like a ton of you know like black comedy videos like that's
kind of what whoa whoa whoa what makes you say that he asked if it was
tiktok was black he asked if there was a lot of black people on tiktok i'm trying to make me feel
racist because you are theo legit point legit point legit point look don't look chapelle is
a cranberries fan okay so let's be honest zombies he's got a bandana around his neck you know he's racist so uh Gianni brought some uh
tiktoks uh I don't know if these are your favorites or just ones that are popping off
or yeah so a lot of the trends it's so weird because something will happen for like someone
will post something it'll go viral and then everyone will do it for two days and then it's
gone so that's kids these days man oh man I'll tell you what I did last night
I'm going to tell you this
I was lying in the living room
Fetal position or what
No no no just on my back
But I had finished crying actually a little
And your feet were up
No my feet are down man
Let me tell you
Here's how you can find out easily what happened if you listen
So
I'm lying there.
I've shed a couple tears.
I had also been listening to some Morgan Wallen, Cover Me Up.
So if you haven't heard that song, it'll take the liquid right out of your damn face.
But anyway.
It's a long story.
What I'm trying to tell you here is Postmates, guys, okay?
I needed a burger.
I needed somebody to come and say, hey, look, the Lord loves you. Yes. story what i'm trying to tell you here is postmates guys okay i needed a burger i needed
somebody to come and say hey look the lord loves you yes i'm gonna fill you up with something
positive right here let me start with your stomach and work your way to your to a heart
and nothing will do that more than a hamburger man how about a little spicy tuna roll man up
your gut straight to arteriosclerosis talking about a hamburger and i'm talking about postmates
so i hit a man yes my phone bang bang i'm talking about postmates so i hit a man yes phone
bang bang i'm i'm laying there next you know a man shows up at my door wow the lord's work man
all you gotta do is download the postmates app on your android or apple phone and you find your
favorites you get anything you want delivered within an hour man and listen postmates just
isn't for burgers when you're sad or sushi when you want to cry you can order anything from toilet paper to phone chargers from stores like walgreens 7-eleven
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when you download the Postmates app or
sign up online. Anything you need,
anytime you need it, Theo. Postmates it.
Get a burger. Get a brisket.
Get a sparkle. Get some pain
medication. Get it all delivered right to your damn
door. Yes, Postmates.
Cover me up.
Postmates it.
Yo, T.O.
It's the holidays.
I'm going to ship a fist right to your fat ass nose, dog.
Dude, I'm shipping this.
I don't know, dog, but I'm shipping this fist right to your fat nose, dog.
I'm shipping this.
First class.
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Make ship happen, daddy.
I'm about to ship this little bag of rounds in your mouth, baby boy.
Yeah.
Make sure they're seasoned.
What's this one? This one, i just thought that was really funny and for chapelle thank you
oh white dudes
that's great that's awesome yeah what about what about one of yours where um okay so sorry take me through a little more so that one comes out and then people make similar ones to it what yeah so
i mean that one was kind of a one-off like Like, people didn't start kind of going on that. But I think I gave Nick one of them.
But Mark Cuban made one where he, it was like a certain sound.
Like, people would know, like, oh, this is the noise.
So this is what goes, what's the content with this TikTok.
So Mark Cuban, like, recorded his daughter.
And he was like, I own a basketball team and she can't make a free throw for shit.
So then everyone's parents started getting on this trend.
And then it would be like a black guy, like recording his son and being like, you know,
he's six foot three and he's not an athlete at all.
Like just kind of stuff like that.
Like parents shitting on their kids.
So it's like, it's the trends with the sound.
So you got to stay up on it.
You do.
You have to be looking like if you want to do it for as a legit job you need to be looking at it every day like what's the trend and and the thing is like
it's more about quantity than quality like you'll post 10 in a day and like one will pop off and get
100 million and you're like oh fuck it like i don't care about the other ones it's not like
instagram damn and so with your amount of following are you are you making money on it
or not yet uh i mean i've
got i've done a couple things where i was like okay i'll post this like for you know a couple
thousand dollars but i'm not like legit doing it as a job i'll just if someone offers me something
i'd be like okay if it makes sense i'll do it got it but yeah it's so weird because even with that
type of following i'll post something and it'll only get like four or five thousand views
if it doesn't go viral.
Even with that following,
like as opposed to Instagram.
You kind of got to get
in the algorithm.
Exactly.
And if you post
like offensive things
like I do,
then they'll shadow ban you
and then your stuff
won't go viral at all.
My little brother
got his TikTok taken away
because he posted his balls.
Oh!
You can't post any of that stuff?
You can't post any of that.
Like Instagram thoughts
can't post their titties and stuff?
Nothing.
I mean, they do a lot of stuff in clothes, but they're young, so I don't look at those.
Do you fuck with the OnlyFans too?
As in what?
Do I have one or do I hang out with them?
Yes.
Hey, hold on.
Hey, I guess what I'm asking is do you run Theo's OnlyFan page too?
I do, yeah.
It's just naked videos of me.
Damn, Daddy, don't button down too low now.
Patreon, Patreon.
Patreon.
Now, I will say this.
A lot of Gianni's talks, what do we call them?
Tics?
What do we call them, Gianni?
Just TikTok.
Yeah, TikToks.
Tic-tics?
Yeah.
Okay.
There's no shortened name for it.
A lot of Gianni's talks are really waking his brother up out of a dead sleep and telling him something's wrong.
See that one right there?
So this is how crazy TikTok can be.
See that Matthew McConaughey one?
I posted that, and then it went so viral that Barstool picked it up.
People Magazine picked it up.
And then it was the number one trending thing on Twitter just because I posted this.
But it's not even creative.
You just posted the video of them doing a table read.
Literally.
I was just, I made an Instagram story.
You're just the first one doing it?
Yeah, I was making an Instagram story because I was actually watching it because I wanted to watch it.
Yeah, it's dope.
And then I just posted like three or four Instagram stories.
I was like, oh, this is funny.
I'll put this on TikTok.
Literally two hours later,
everyone started picking it up.
Barstool.
Morgan Freeman looked like shit.
What are you talking about, Bernie?
He looks like Morgan freaking Freeman.
No, he doesn't.
He looks like an unwrapped mommy.
So we have some some tiktokers that like i don't think anybody in
this room has heard of except uh gianni so uh why don't you like gotta give us the info on who
who some of these people are addison ray okay yeah so she dates um bryce hall and they're like
the tiktok like the TikTok couple.
It's like Addison Rae and then there's Dixie
D'Amelio, which is Charlie's
sister. And she dates
that other kid,
Noah Beck.
I feel so old right now.
Are these people
adults? Yeah, these people are
of age. Charlie is not.
She's 16.
And are they only famous because they do short TikTok videos?
See, the worst part about it is they're only famous,
and they don't even do anything funny or creative.
They literally just, like, dance and stick out their tongues.
But is she super hot?
I think Addison's beautiful, but, I mean, it's like.
I could do it.
That's her there?
Yeah.
She all right.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying, but it's like hundreds of millions of dollars for like, it's like crazy.
How does she make so much money?
Because she gets so many.
67 million followers?
Yeah.
4.2 billion.
And all she does is that?
That's all they do is they literally just dance next to each other 40 million times.
That's those two?
Yeah.
That's Bryce Hoffman.
He's a fuck boy, huh?
Could not be more of a fuckboy.
He's like the prototype of what kids this age are.
No.
But see, it's so crazy because now,
so there's another kid in the hype house,
which is they all live together and they make TikToks together.
What?
And there's this kid, Josh Richards,
and now he has a podcast with Prez from Barstool.
Oh, I watched it because Barstool, my boys, and Prez,
I watched them. I'm like, what the fuck isool, my boys and Prez. I watched them.
I'm like, what the fuck is going on here?
But see, Prez is smart because he wants to capitalize on it, but he only really posts
the clips on TikTok.
So he wants to get a TikTok comment.
He knows because their views aren't like great on there.
I'm like, why is he doing this?
He's doing it for the TikTok audience.
Because the algorithm, if you have those people in it, because basically that's what
makes TikTok so, you know know famous and everyone's talking
about it's because all the kids are watching it so if you're in a video with them it's automatically
just pumped to the page wow that's insane and then immediately dave portnoy just started getting in
feuds with all of them so he's like he's like he knows what he's doing yeah yeah yeah yeah so talk
some shit about some tick tockers he's like the joker yeah all she did all they do was they just
did body rolls literally so the ones that i gave nick the TikTokers. He's like the Joker, yeah. All they do is they just did body rolls.
Literally.
So the ones that I gave Nick, the ones I gave Nick are like the creative, funny ones.
And I'm like, oh, this is hilarious.
But those people aren't TikTok stars.
They're just people that went viral one time.
Interesting.
The people who just dance like that are the ones who have all these followers.
And all they do is just use someone else's sound.
Someone else made up the dance.
And then that's all they do.
But didn't some like big music like
not just like one hit wonders come from tick tock like tick tock beats then they take those beats
and make a single out of it yeah i didn't taiga do that i i think he did do that at one point because
taiga's pretty big on tick tock um like some rappers are on that chris brown like a lot of
these people are hopping on because they're like i want to get i want to get on the train you know
what i mean because yeah the other stuff is going away and on because they're like, I want to get on the train. You know what I mean? The other stuff is going
away and then now they're like, we have to keep with the
time. So it's crazy that people are like that.
Can you body roll? Now what is this?
This is
the TikTok that got my little brother's
account banned.
So there was a thing called the Vogue Challenge where people
would just post pictures of themselves with the Vogue
cover. It looked like the cover of a magazine.
So this is what happened. This is your little brother? This is what my little brother posted.
And we're going to have to blur something out on YouTube. Yeah. Okay. Oh, he gets his dick out?
Yeah. Theo, close your eyes. But open my mouth?
That got him banned? No, wait.
him banned no way that got him bad hilarious yeah so look at theo hey theo's mouth is drooling
that's the first time theo's watched porn in like three months
we tricked him into it i'll just say man. That could have been a yam.
It's not a sin if you got tricked into it.
He should have read an email to TikTok and be like, that was a yam.
He did.
No, you know what he actually did?
He called my publicist behind my back.
And she reached out to TikTok behind my back and was trying to figure it out.
And then they're like, nah, his balls are out.
We can't fix it. But then I found out a couple months later, like she told me. I was like trying to like figure it out and then they're like nah his balls are out we can't fix it
but then I found out a couple months later like she told
me I was like you called my publicist
like my PR firm like she's like
what I'm like she's like we don't
want to deal with this dude yeah yeah that's clearly your
nuts bro yeah exactly
did she now look at
an old trick is you take
a hair dryer to a yam and say that's your
nuts oh okay take a hair dryer to a yam And say that you're nuts Oh okay
Take a hair dryer to the yam
That's an old village trick
What else should we play here Gianni
I mean a lot of them are
There are some feel good ones that I actually like
And make me feel better
I know this isn't this past weekend
We don't talk about our feelings
But go to the one of the guy dancing
Yeah that one the guy sitting down at the desk This? Nope Unbelievable but go to the one of the guy dancing. Yeah, that one. The guy sitting down at the desk.
This?
Nope.
Nope.
Unbelievable.
That's not the one.
That one.
Dude, this is my favorite one.
Yeah, yeah.
I love this one.
It's just like, I don't know.
I just really like it.
You're on TikTok, Chappelle?
No, no.
I've seen it on Instagram.
Watch this dude.
He breaks it down.
It was awesome.
He's a teacher at a high school.
Watch him get it.
You fucking did it. Watch him get it.
I learned the dance.
Did you?
BLM, baby.
Oh, he's good.
Oh, damn.
He's good. Hell yeah.
As you can see, my For You page is obviously very black as well.
Okay, there you go.
Hell yeah.
And Gianni, there's rumors that you're going to get your skin dyed to be black.
Is that? No, no, no. No,ni, there's rumors that you're going to get your skin dyed to be black. Is that?
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
I am the token white guy on the show.
And it needs to stay that way.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
Right.
We need one person to represent our community, you know?
Mm-hmm.
What's this one?
And what's this one?
Oh, that's the one we saw with the guy with the.
What's the one of the girls? It says Millenniums be like. Oh, that's the one we saw with the guy with the... What was the one of the girls?
It says Millenniums Be Like.
Oh, that was really funny.
Coming back up.
I think that's maybe like Alec Baldwin's daughter,
but I could be wrong.
That one of that girl.
Hayley Baldwin or Ireland?
Ireland, that's right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're right.
Her name's Ireland?
I am waiting. Tuesday. I, yeah. You're right. Her name's Ireland? I am waiting.
Tuesday.
I am fading.
On a Wednesday, I can't sleep.
Hey!
It's Trap!
Bunny!
Booty!
Clint!
I want to bang your dad, then kill him!
Can't help it, Winters.
Yeah.
It's tough.
I love that first song, though though her dad's a beast though huh
you know yeah you can't they can't all win you know uh how hip are we now though
i feel i feel i've never felt older i'm also gonna hire gianni though after this
yeah we're we're freaking hip replacement dude if anything um now now i feel
like gianni would you tell us who would have the best tiktok career and take us in an order uh from
from worst to best between our group here oh i like this um i would say i mean you kind of have
really weird things that are like out there so people are think are funny so i mean i would
say you and brendan because you also have the most content already boy don't throw brendan in with me
well i'm just saying like like like any clip from king and the sting like could go viral
if you post five of them i bet you you'd get 20 million views just from the funniest clips that
you guys have well we're gonna start doing it should be doing that but you have but you
you also have more solo things which people like to see as well so're gonna start doing that but you have but you you also have more
solo things which people like to see as well so um which brandon obviously you don't do a solo
podcast although you do below the belt and stuff like that so that would like that's more fights
but people it's interesting because there is a fight community on tiktok really that would be
your audience so you could but it won't be as big of a of a fan base but there is like niche and it will be it
will it's like it's like uh twitter you can kind of find communities for any sport and there's
becoming like an mma tiktok and you'd be early if you had people from uh below the belt making
tiktoks i'm just like you got to add stuff like you're talking about a fighter but then like have
stats come up at the same time like there's a way to hack it that'd be cool there you go so then and then i'd probably go cat because she'll wear her tank tops and then
i'll go viral um and then i go chapelle because there's a lot of diversity going on now in the
industry so a lot of diversity this is like a lot of diversity theo we're down to two people on the
on the playground yeah this is like you're picking basketball teams.
This is a dope raider.
Come on, Gianni.
I don't know.
Chin's triggered, man.
I think if Chin had on his dangly earring, he'd do well.
Yeah, I sing all the time.
But Nick does have a lot of content from another Bachelor podcast.
No, but Giovanni, Chin can sing his ass off.
See, singing and dancing is the number one thing that goes viral on TikTok.
I'm going on TikTok.
I'm going to have to go Chin.
I'm sorry, Nick.
Thank you, Johnny.
You're my boy.
But I did shout out your podcast.
That's true.
We'll see.
Everybody follow me on TikTok.
You'll all see.
But we do have a King of the Sting tiktok it's king in the sting underscore because
always and how's that going uh it just started uh last week but we got some stuff up there it's
gonna get popping if you need some consulting let me know hell yeah hell yeah uh we need an editor
because like the way they edit those tiktoks seems like it's time consuming if you're fast
on the program i don't know you don't really do that on yours and they still go viral.
But honestly, also what I've realized is that millennials or Gen Z, I think it's Gen Z.
They're so fucking lazy that they don't give a shit about how it's edited, what the video quality is, what the sound is.
They just want the content.
So interesting.
So they literally don't care.
It's like crazy.
Like you said, it's quantity over quality.
Exactly.
So like when I was doing Theo's TikTok early on,
I would like, I have to get them looking great looking.
And then sometimes it would be so time consuming
and they wouldn't go viral.
And then I would just see Theo post something stupid
from his Instagram stories.
So I would save it and then just post it on TikTok.
Bad quality.
The writing is everywhere.
And then that gets like four or five million views.
I'm like, they don't give a fuck.
Quantity over quality.
Sounds like Theo's dating history.
Yeah, I've made some poor choices.
Johnny's made some poor choices with dating.
Or have you, Johnny?
How's your dating life?
Are you single?
No, I actually have a girlfriend now.
Yeah.
Fist bump, ear bump.
She was the one that actually,
because she's pretty into the,
I actually met her on TikTok.
Isn't that hilarious? Yeah, ho bump. She was the one that actually, because she's pretty into the, I actually met her on TikTok. Yeah, holla.
I was in LA, and then I saw NYC in her TikTok bio,
and I knew I was going to New York,
so I followed her, and we started talking, and then, yeah, now she's.
Any pictures of her?
Yeah, it's not that serious.
There she is.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Also, let's go back to Gianni's Instagram real quick,
and you can see right there, the first one
There's Gianni getting locked out of his car
What was that, an M4?
It's a 430 Coupe
Yeah, M package
That's an M&M, dude
That thing is fake, bro
And then, what else do we have?
Gianni Let me see Oh, wow And then, what else do we have? Johnny.
Let me see.
Oh, wow.
That's a great pick.
Okay.
Right there.
Okay.
Okay.
I almost had Brendan for a second.
That's a cute pig.
Then he's all,
Oh, my gosh.
Let me see the one.
Are you on set there?
Did you loot a fucking footlocker?
This one right here was actually, this is going to be so weird to say,
but it's the first time that happened.
It was a paparazzi that took a photo of us, and then he put it in post.
Oh, sure it was.
I took it and then posted it.
Dude, look at the caption.
My fucking brother.
Jesus Christ, man.
All right.
You're not racist.
We get it. We get it, right. You're not racist. We get it.
We get it, man.
We're not racist.
Damn.
This is my fucking brother right here, man.
But here's what I want to know.
A paparazzi just caught you guys randomly standing that close to each other?
No.
We were shopping in Soho, and then, yeah, he just followed us.
And he's like, can I get a quick pic?
So then we posed.
And you guys put down your bags and then posed.
Yeah.
Damn.
Living large, man.
Kind of a change of pace.
We can go back to ripping out Gianni after.
But I knew what it was going to be, baby.
This guy sent in a really cool video.
What's up, King in the St in the sting theo you look like the second most successful person in your trailer park
and brandon you look like the least amount of effort someone has to go through to fill a
diversity quota got a debate club for you it's about letting people in on what's going on in your life.
You see, I'm a quadriplegic, paralyzed from the collarbone down,
and I also have debilitating chronic nerve pain.
So I want to let people know if I'm hurting,
but I don't want to feel pity,
and I don't want people to stop asking me to do things.
So my question to both of you is,
how much do you let people in
on what's going on in your life?
Gang gang, short
buzz.
Gang, homie.
Gang, bro. How should he do it,
Theo? Let him know that he's certain. You just
tell them, bitches, what's going on, man.
Theo tells people about it on the podcast.
Yeah.
I mean, my goal is really tell hundreds of thousands of people at once.
That way you only have to say it once, though.
It's smart.
Yeah, that's true, man.
He needs to start a TikTok.
You start his TikTok.
He tells how people he feels.
He starts his TikTok in the mornings dancing.
See, that's interesting.
Like this.
Those go really viral, too.
A lot of people who have disabilities.
There's a lot of blind and deaf have um disabilities and there's a lot
of blind and deaf humor on tiktok which is it's funny i think it's hilarious but like blind and
i think i gave you one of those nick but like a lot of blind and deaf people have gone viral
because good for them yeah yeah good for them break my arm chin and i will say this
what are you gonna say deal uh i think if you um you know i got caught into some weird circles on
the tiktok i get a lot of down syndrome ds family because they think you're the team captain
uh no i'm just i don't know how i got in the loop but apparently like maybe i know you got in the
loop yeah no he's probably on their explorer page, you know. You're a representative, Doug.
But, no, yeah, something happened where I just get a lot of –
I'm in the DS family hashtag.
But I get a lot of it.
So I follow, you know, I'm in the six or seven people's lives.
I know you see what's going on.
And I really enjoy you start to learn about what it's like to have it,
you know, really fully have it.
And what else, man?
I think, yeah, it's tough to let people know what's going on, but also not to sound like you want them to feel sorry for you, bro.
It's a tough walk, bro.
I don't know what's the best way to do it, man.
I think just share it, but also just know for yourself that you got to know you gotta pick you gotta pick up your own pieces like in the end it's okay to share it and like ask for help but you also you
gotta have some methods of your own to pick up your own pieces it sounds like you do you got a
great sense of humor you know you can't even you know you can't even move some things on your body
and you calling in and fucking calling us out um yeah he has a great attitude maybe get like a
fucking sharpie thing and like draw like scale one to ten.
How you feeling that day?
Wait, I'm confused.
He's paralyzed from the collarbone down, he said, but his arms work?
That's what I was thinking too.
From the C bone down, baby.
I think it's nerve.
Probably somewhat his nerve.
So just his upper body then, right?
It's like a Pinocchio.
That's all you need for a TikTok.
Probably some woman got on his nerves.
Literally got on his nerves, yes on his nerves yes yeah of course Brendan
did you think there was a small woman living on his central nervous system
but I don't know what do you do I mean what do you guys do if you you know it's
tough to these days i feel like you know ask for help but not try to sound all the time like the
boy who cried wolf you know it's tough i think i let people know so you just don't seem like an
asshole all the time if you're in pain let people know man like you said this guy seems like he
knows what's going on you just got to read the room some people are like how you doing and you
just don't want to unload on someone, some passerby on the street.
But it's okay to be like, not good, dude.
Not fucking good, man.
How about that?
It's okay to say that.
Now, who's this gentleman?
Now his nostrils look like two fucking handcuffs.
What's going on here?
His gauges match his nostrils.
He's got a debate club for you.
This guy can breathe through everything
Don't get him and Theo in the same room
I'm not King of the Sting
I've got a debate club for you
That boy got a schnauzer on him
For you
Comes to the cheesy side dish
You're gonna go with the liquid gold
Shells and cheese
Or them
Craft macaroni and cheese bad boys
personally I'm gonna go with them blue box headers but uh let me know what you
think gang gang
that dark malibu rum that's gangster
shout out to Sean
shout out to Sean
get that off Chappelle's fucking fans only account
you can get that anywhere
man you ballin' if you're doing the shells
and cheese
that was my birthday cheese That was a special
My birthday when I was a kid
Maybe Thanksgiving
You gotta be a real baller to have that
Maybe your mom have a man over
She'll cook up them shells and cheese
Yeah you know red panty night
If that shells and cheese came out
Oh god I'd put my damn panties on bro
Hell yeah
What do you guys eat in the What kind of macaroni and cheese do you have over there damn panties on, bro. Hell yeah.
What do you guys eat in the,
what kind of macaroni and cheese do you have over there
in your community,
Cat and Chappelle?
Bro, I don't fuck with macaroni and cheese.
What?
My bad, fam.
What?
Hey, any of you psychopaths
put hot dogs in it?
Some of my cousins did, yeah.
I don't know.
Asians are usually lactose intolerant so
we're not supposed to eat mac and cheese but i don't give a fuck yeah you'll eat it
baby that's what i'm talking about asians are lactose intolerant mostly yeah mostly really
yeah why do you think they don't fuck with milk oh yeah that dude when i was growing up
if you want to sneak a milk dud into into an Asian and watch them just unsettle. Yeah.
Yeah. It's like putting a mento in a fucking Coca-Cola can.
No.
Just watch them explode.
You can take down all of China with
a glass of milk.
That's hilarious.
We got a king at her sting it
from this young lady. Oh, Velveeta or
Kraft. Yeah, what did Theo fuck with?
Well, we went
I think whatever the more store
bought one was, you know, like Larry's
macaroni or whatever it was called.
No, what it was, we couldn't afford the Kraft when I was a kid sory's uh macaroni or whatever it's called no what it was what it was
uh we couldn't afford the craft when i was a kid so it would say macaroni and cheese dinner on it
and it's black and white oh that was the one that shit was watery as fuck yeah that's why i'm fucking
macaroni and cheese it's just whack but dude sometimes we would make the extra recipe put a
little bit of uh butter in there you know put a little bit of extra real cheese that's right dog you know hell yeah sometimes what my fat ass would do is i'd open
up another box and put double the seasoning in it oh really yeah make it real cheesy and that's why
i'm a thicker gentleman now because my parents would allow me to get away with that he said
double the seasoning hell yeah dog gianni was a fat kid i always yeah i was a chubby kid yeah
i had a little chub on me but i leaned out when i got older yeah oh my bad
i leaned out when we got it when i got older like we don't know that bro
oh wow i thought you're still fat no No, dude, you look good, man. Pull up my Instagram.
White privilege, dude, leaning out.
Oh, here's Johnny right here, man.
Oh, there you go.
Look at that.
We should do our own King of Sting type rough and rowdy.
We got Johnny boxes, Malik.
Malik.
Malik.
Yeah, you could. Johnny's people on social media man he's like six nine kind of but he's like four nine no gianni's a champ man i'm just telling you look that's the farm system that
we have here with podcasting bro you know You know? These people go on to big things, baby.
Yup, yup.
What's this?
We got a King and her stinging from this young lady.
What's up, guys?
Holla.
Shout out to the Culture Corner.
Oh, shoot.
Derek, who's not there anymore.
Oh, what's up?
I got a King and her stinging.
Takes your smoke. What do you think? Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. I got a question. Chicks who smoke.
What do you think?
Gang, gang, buzz, buzz.
What was the question, Nick?
Chicks who smoke.
Ooh, hard fucking pass, girl.
Hard pass?
Hell yeah.
Smoking cigarettes?
What about Juul?
What about Juul's and that stuff, the vapes?
Fuck no.
I feel like every young girl.
As I have nicotine in my mouth, no, it's different.
Smoking, you ever smell someone that smoke
And then their teeth turn yellow and shit
And they smell like that all the fucking time
Dog hell no
Not to mention cancer
Don't get me started on that
I feel like every young girl these days they all jewel
And fucking jewel all those pods
And all that shit it's terrible
It's so bad for you
It doesn't smell you're right
It smells nice Yeah it smells like strawberries and all that shit. It's terrible. It's so bad for you. They say that's the only thing. It doesn't smell. You're right.
It smells nice.
Yeah, it smells like strawberries and stuff. Yeah, it's nice.
They say vaping, though,
is like smoking an entire pack of cigarettes
because it's not filtered.
Cigarettes are filtered.
I feel like there was like a big,
because none of that was regulated.
It wasn't getting taxed like tobacco.
And then all of a sudden,
there was all those stories like,
oh, it's bad as a pack of cigarettes.
All those kids are dying from that one thing like uh like a year or two ago there's like
a big thing but i think they just wanted to get it banned and then get it taxed and like get it
all on your big big that's fair i feel like you've been hanging out with eddie bravo a little much
i don't know what but there's something there though no you might be right there's something
there but i used to i was super into hookah and then so i looked it up how bad it is for you that
shit is not healthy.
Again, there's no filter.
It's like the straight smoke into your lungs.
I had a Middle Eastern friend in high school, and we smoked a lot of hookah together.
I love hookah, man.
I didn't realize how bad it was.
Theo, let's hookah when I get to Nashville, dog.
Get your cheeks out.
Hookah.
What's up?
Get your cheeks out.
Well, look, I'll say this, man.
If they smoking those, that lady's smoking some real menthols.
Yes.
It looked like to me. Them Newports. Oh, man. If they smoking those, that lady's smoking some real menthols. Yes. It looked like to me.
Them Newports.
Oh, yeah.
And when I was young, if you saw a young white lady smoking a menthol,
usually she dated brothers and she also drove a Honda Civic.
Correct.
Well, that's why she asked how Derek and Chappelle were.
That was her first impression.
Yeah, you're right.
That's a good pickup.
I got that eye for it now, you know? That's a good pickup. Oh, yeah. She was like, Theo, Brent, you're right. That's a good pickup. I got that eye for it now, you know?
That's a good pickup.
Oh, yeah.
She was like, Theo Brennan, you're all right.
Hey, Culture Corner.
What's up with the brother?
5% of what Brendan looks like.
This guy's got another kid in your stint.
We'll keep going.
What's up up Theo Schlong
Brendan Schaub
I'm Peter
reporting to you live
from beautiful
Minneapolis Minnesota
and I got a king of
your stint for you
this is my cat
Aggie
and I love her
she's pretty cool
to have around
but you know
I'm a 23 year old
bachelor
kind of navigating
the dating life here
and I found there's
maybe a little bit
of a stigma
with cat guys so I'd love to hear cat's opinion on this and everybody else's uh king it
or sting it mentioning being a cat guy while dating uh thanks for everything hope to see you
guys soon sometime in minneapolis and uh gang gang buzz buzz buzz buzz my lonely friend yeah listen
the loneliest friend.
Listen, bro.
Ditch the fucking cat.
There's nothing worse, man.
Huge red flag.
No, you can't be having cats trying to get hoes.
They don't mix.
Johnny used to have a cat.
No, I never had a cat.
See, cats watch you have sex, which is what I don't like.
They always creep in the room, and it's always weird.
You're like, what the fuck is he doing here?
I hate cats.
Me too. Oh, yeah. And that one cat You're like, what the fuck is he doing here? I hate cats. Me too.
Oh, yeah.
And that one cat, have you seen the one that's on the internet?
And he's like looking.
Yeah, he's playing the piano and some shit.
Cat, what do you think about cats, dudes and cats?
I can't date a guy with a cat or a dog because I'm allergic.
So either way, it's a no-go for me.
Is it a red flag?
If you're not allergic, though, is it a red flag?
Like if you came over to some is it a red flag like you came
over like some dude's house he had a bunch of cats okay it depends on how many cats you have
and it depends on how you got the cat if it's a family cat you've had since childhood that's fine
if you're a single guy with three cats for no reason
oh she's specific about that wait what about like a snake what if someone had a snake yeah
if you repeat that two cat hold on will you repeat that too, Kat? Hold on. Will you repeat that, Kat, the last part?
The last part?
If you have three cats and you're a single man who voluntarily adopted them, there's something wrong.
Yeah, figure it out, dude.
I don't know what it is, but you have some sort of issue there.
And here's the other thing.
You always got to open up those fucking cans of the wet food and dump it out.
It smells like shit.
And another thing, the cat's always shitting in the house and they just cover it with gravel. We act like it's all good. Yeah, you just leave the shit there. dump it out. It smells like shit. And another thing, the cat's always shitting in the house
and they just cover it with gravel. We act like it's all
good. Yeah, you just leave the shit there.
It smells like shit.
I feel like a guy who voluntarily
has a lot of cats is a pushover.
Because cats are assholes.
You want like a bitchy girlfriend.
That's not terrible on my end.
What'd you say, Kat? I'm sorry.
I said that wouldn't be terrible on my end, being somebody's bitchy girlfriend.
Yeah, I could see you handling that.
Yeah, you fit that role.
But dude, yeah, cancel shit in your house and then pretend that they didn't, man.
They're just like Sigma News.
Yo, Gianna brings up a point, though. What about like a snake?
What about like a reptile?
Artie Madness has reptiles and shit.
We were doing the Rat King videos.
He also has reptiles.
Go on, Theo.
Ari Maness also has reptiles. He has reptile dysfunction as well.
He's saying, I heard it.
Yeah, Doug. These are all red flags that you're a lonely ass dude.
If you got a snake and a fucking lizard and shit.
When we were doing those Rat King videos, we were like, we need rats.
And Theo's like, call Ari.
We called Ari.
He came in with like these big rats, this big.
He's like, oh yeah, I feed these to my snake.
Fuck.
I'm like, yep.
He had a website, 30minuterats.com.
Oh.
But yeah, Kat, would you date someone with a snake?
It depends on what type of snake.
If it's big enough and you're feeding it multiple dead rats, I can't fuck with you.
Because I don't like the idea of somebody having a rat, smashing it against a wall,
and feeding it to the snake every week.
But what a stupid-ass animal.
Snake?
Yeah.
I mean, you can't...
What do you do with the fucking thing?
You take it out.
You look at dude.
Yeah, very cool.
And you put it back in the tank.
Yeah.
That's what we do.
We used to have a kid in our neighborhood.
He would get little mice or whatever, and he would make nooses and actually hang them and then feed the snake.
That kid's a fucking psychopath.
Right?
Damn.
And he's sheriff.
Now he's sheriff.
He is.
Well, he grew up, I unless you got nick yeah man hey people change man hi y'all it's ace from rome georgia i got a king it or sting it for you
towns named after cities that are already cities for example rome georgia is named after cities that are already cities.
For example, Rome, Georgia is named after Rome, Italy.
Or Athens, Georgia, home of the Bulldogs, is named after Athens, Greece.
So what y'all think about towns like that, huh?
Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Sometimes I forget to
wop.
Apparently we didn't have a ton of submissions this episode.
Nick was pulling out some great ones.
They're getting, they get
thin. This is a great time to solicit.
Send in your king of this thing at Debate Club's
Relationship Advice. We do need more.
I'm here this episode and that just played, Nick.
You are fucking running out of options.
We called Ari Maness last time.
This is a step up.
Look, it's just sad to see
that Johnny's out there taking black jobs.
That is sad as hell, man.
He's doing that.
I mean, it's just, this is not the time for that.
It's just, it's not, it's really not.
That guy did a pretty good, decent J-Rod impression,
but we don't have to answer his question. Let's see what he did.
But there is the thing, you know, you got,
what other ones do you have that are famous places name after somewhere else?
You think? Did he say Athens, Georgia? It's at Athens.
St. Paul here's Texas yeah any place with new in front of it was like someplace in England New York New England little Compton Rhode Island yeah
little Kyle and what is it like there, Gianni? Is it pretty savage?
Yeah, it's...
Where are you from, Gianni? Rhode Island.
You're from Rhode Island. I've never been there.
It's alright. You're not really missing much.
Yeah, dude, you're not missing much.
You want to go to Rhode Island, dude?
Put three different meats in your mouth and have somebody punch you in the fucking back.
And you're in Rhode Island.
What's this little goth chick saying, Nick?
Hello, Brendan.
Hello, Theo.
My name's Alex from Idaho Falls, Idaho.
And I have a Kinginish sting for you.
Nose rings on men.
Let me know what you think.
Gang, gang, buzz.
Buzz, buzz, young lady.
Dude, how sad were all of you guys when you thought it was going to be her tits?
I know, I thought it was going to be something dope.
I didn't know she was sitting next to fucking Rob Zombie.
Man, y'all are wrong, man.
I'm happy this lady has somebody important in her life.
Yeah, me too.
White dude with dreads.
Dreads.
Hard sting it.
You feel me? that's rob marley
right there yeah dog listen no nose rings and girls sexy nose rings and guys not good
no what is it oh he's got oh that's right two sides yeah i almost got my ears the other day
but i don't that makes sense though you're on power. Yeah, that makes sense. I almost did it.
You're on power, hanging out with 50 Cent.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
As we learned on our Patreon episode, Australia, you'll get fought on a train if you have a nose ring.
Oh, that's right.
Patreon.com slash King This Thing.
Yes, Australia episode.
Some dude pierced his nose and got in a fight on a fucking train because of it.
Really?
Yeah.
They don't fuck with it in Australia.
Are they homophobic or it's just...
They just don't play that shit, dog.
I wonder what it is.
It didn't seem like it was a homophobic thing.
Theo, pierce your nose, dog.
Dude, they don't make it...
You need to put a fucking nail in that thing.
For real, dog.
You need to put one of them voodoo bones
through the fucking middle
dog
put a hula hoop
in there
again it's like
Michael Jordan's hoop earrings
yeah
that'd be dope
alright
well
that's a good episode
yeah that's it
that was good
Giovanni we appreciate you man
Thank you for having me
You were great
Thank you Gio
Is it Giovanni
It's Gianni
But I didn't
Oh my bad
Gianni Giovanni
I keep calling him Giovanni
He's been in a lot of fights
I didn't want to
Yeah there you go
There you go
And on your Instagram
It's Gianni V Paolo
So if you read it
Yeah it looks like
I thought it was Giovanni
Then the whole power thing
I figured Giovanni fits Yeah that's cool Yeah No but if you read it. Yeah, it looks like Giovanni. Then the whole power thing, I figured Giovanni fits.
Yeah, that's cool.
Yeah.
No, but thank you for having me.
I appreciate it, guys.
Yeah, we love you, man.
Dio.
Thanks for coming in.
Yeah, sorry I'm not there today, guys.
No, we'll fly Spirit Airlines next week.
Dio looks like the CEO of Spirit Airlines.
Right?
You look like you work working human resources for spared airlines
we got another complaint guys man what the fuck is going on apparently the lawn chairs aren't
holding up i'm don harper and i'm the first female CEO of Spirit Airlines.
And I would like to let everybody know we're so thankful that you're flying with us.
I'll be in Phoenix tonight.
We're adding a show.
I think all shows are sold out.
And then Nashville in two weeks. I will be out there with this young hitter over here.
My favorite aunt.
There she is.
And then Boise, Idaho, December 5th.
And we're possibly recording a King of the Sting from Theo's Nashville studio,
Chappelle and his surprise guest in the culture corner.
Yeah, I can't wait.
I cannot wait.
Amen.
I miss you, brother.
If Gianni would learn stand-up, we'd take him on the road.
Yeah, Doug.
I'll try.
That'd be fun.
Put a hot five minutes together. You'd be a great opener, Doug, with your energy. Yeah, Doug. I'll try. That'd be fun. Put a hot five minutes
together. You'd be a great opener, Doug. With your energy?
Yeah, he's got good energy. Hell yeah.
Fuck yeah. Yeah, man.
Alright, Dio, we miss you, brother. Alright, love you.
We'll see you next week, Doug.
Love you, man. Love you guys. Thank you very much.
Thanks, G. Starting to look like he gave up If you're struggling I can spot you for the Dollar Shave Club
Keanu Reeves wants his beard back, enough is enough
Elise Thiel's hairstyle is consistent
Looking like Danny Boone from a distance
Wouldn't wanna scare you cause your hair just might jump off
Hey Brendan, will you share your energy drink? Your hair just might jump off
Hey Brendan, will you share your energy drink?
You should change your name from Streaks to Kink and the Stink
I know you're used to fighting in the ring Are you the king?
Are you the king? Are you the state?
What do you think?
Gotta get deals from the boys that won't quit
Getting owned up by the loser, pay pigs
Do you accept PayPal or TransferWise?
Chilling at home, sending out the drunk text
Burner account into the Viet
Do you know a slurping oatmeal is actually considered polite?
Why?
You're coming with the corrections click
Wrapping all that, it gave me a fucking slick
Me on Brendan under the desk
Touching each other's knees
You came like me
Steed like a bee
Actuality
The big head of baby
King in the sting Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the sting Oh, king in the sting