The Golden Hour - Good Guy with Tiny Eyes | The Golden Hour PATREON #31 EXCERPT w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia
Episode Date: February 21, 2024The guys talk Chris catching a buff YouTube prankster on camera, Apple's new VR glasses, all new live call-ins including a VR user, artist and lawyer, a debate about straws being emasculating, advice ...on how to keep things spicy with your partner and much more! Get the full episode plus two extra episodes every month at https://patreon.com/thegoldenhourpodcast
Transcript
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We're friends that laugh, we're friends that shout
Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about
But that won't stop us
Nothing can stop us
It's like a show you used to love
Just rebranded enough
It's stronger, better, bigger power
Cause it is the Golden Hour
It's the Golden Hour
Yo, let's just, since it happened and we couldn't really talk about it,
you doused me.
Yeah.
All over.
With coffee.
And now the guy that makes that is going to be furious.
How did it get here?
It just went boom.
I didn't even notice.
Boom.
Yeah, you were so into this.
Fucking clumsy clumserson over here.
Bro.
No, that girl was so hot.
I was like, ooh.
I panicked.
Then why'd you go like this?
He poured it on you.
You fucked me up with this shit.
It's good coffee, though.
Isn't it nice?
What kind did you get?
I put you guys on Philz.
Philz has good coffee,
but the reason why I don't like Philz
is because they don't have the fucking cups.
I don't want to drink iced coffee
in hot cup coffee.
So bring your own cup like a cup.
That's bitch.
No, bougie would be bringing my own shit. The straw's
bitch. This is my straw. I found
it in my car. I found it in my car.
That's so disgusting. It's bitch to just have a car?
It's bitch.
Hold on. Hold on.
Bitch to bring your straw into
the studio for your coffee. Okay.
So hold on a second. I can
argue how less bitch it is. And let me just tell you.
Okay. First of all, is it bitch? Let's just start with the blanket thing. Can we all vote? We're all voting. Can we just get... That's fine. Get a second. I can argue how less bitch it is. And let me just tell you. Okay, first of all, is it bitch?
Let's just start with the blanket thing.
Can we all vote?
We're all voting.
Can we just, that's fine.
Can we have a blanket discussion about,
is it bitch to be using a straw?
Yes.
Period.
Yes.
Okay, then we can't go any further.
We can't go any further.
If you think it's just bitch, I'm saying any straw.
No.
Okay.
So then we can go further.
any straw. No. Okay.
So then you know what? So then we can go further. So
I am now
a guy who
has a straw in my car for
instances like this. Now that's
bitch. Now that's bitch. I agree with you.
I agree with you. Now does it have a case?
Like, you know,
a little straw case. I agree with you.
I agree with you that that's bitch. Okay.
Now, is it bitch that
i had a coffee uh-huh in my house uh-huh i needed a straw uh-huh didn't have any plastic ones found
that we had these put it in there was drinking it in the car because i brought it from my house
is that bitch we're we're getting a little bit less bit yes that's fine okay i understand how
okay because you need a straw like in the car you don't spill it okay so now you just now We're getting a little bit less bit. Yes, that's fine. Okay. I understand how...
Okay.
Because you need a straw.
Like, you're in the car, you don't want to spill it.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, so now...
No, you don't.
You just...
Now, now, now...
That's what this is.
But let me just explain.
I have the coffee with the straw.
I'm done with the coffee.
What do I do?
I throw away the cup.
I don't throw away the straw.
It's metal.
Right.
So I put the straw in my thing, right?
Swish it around in some water, put it in the thing.
It's fine.
Did you swish it around in some water?
I didn't.
No, I didn't. No, I didn't.
See?
I didn't.
It's coffee, though.
And now we're back.
Coffee's coffee.
And now we're back.
With the disgusting thing,
but not with the bitchness.
But not with the bitchness.
Okay.
That's actually less bitch.
Yeah, that's cool.
It's less bitch.
Dirty straw.
If I did that, that'd be bitch.
I'm into it.
There we go.
All right, so I didn't do that.
So anyway.
You're right.
So anyway.
So now the straw's in there.
It's been there,
I don't know how long it's been there a week i don't
know it you know you want to say it's disgusting fine do you use it every day i've never used it
until i got the phil's coffee and i see that and i go hey wait a minute i got that straw here okay
boom so that's fine you're gonna have diarrhea now you're fine fine if you want to say it's
disgusting i'm not gonna argue that you could argue that that's disgusting at least it's not
bitch though it's not bitch because it wasn't calculated. Exactly. It'd be bitch if every day.
Yes, that's good.
Yeah.
You're Ellen.
I knew it.
Yes, get out of that one.
I knew I was going to get
out of that one, dude.
Oh, let me get my straw.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Honestly, I respect that.
I respect that.
Which one?
Oh, this one.
Oh, that's my evening straw.
Dude.
It's one of these two
Skittles
I knew I'd get out of that one dude
I'm so good
I could be a lawyer
You saved yourself
I knew I was gonna get you guys
I feel like Ellen has straws
You know what I'm saying?
If you have a straw
And you bring it around
You're a bitch
Bitch
Especially if the reason
Like if you have a restaurant
Especially if the reason is
To save the planet
Turtles
To save turtles? Yeah to save the planet. To save turtles?
Yeah, to save the planet.
That's crazy.
You already saw that.
There's all these articles about the paper straws are causing.
It doesn't work yet.
The glue that they use is toxic.
Oh, okay.
Kills more turtles.
Well, this shit is good.
This is good, this coffee.
Yeah, this was great.
Let me ask you a question.
Yeah. You always, describing food, say it's nice if it's good it's nice where'd that come from i don't know it's
nice i understand what it is you want more description well i just it's it's an odd thing
to say about food but it's not too it's not odd it is a nice way to describe food but is it bitch no it's not a bitch i i respect it i
actually like it but but but it's a simple term say it's delicious yeah why do you say that's good
i feel like most people would be like that's great it's good nick i think we got to start doing polls
because that's overhyping it bitch because i don't want to set expectations for if i go it's nice
that's up for you oh is that why it's nice yeah but you you normally say when something's nice you mean it's really good though yeah so but also though he could say it's nice and it could not be
because it's like it's a very like blanket open statement oh it's nice but nice doesn't mean
best thing you've ever had doesn't mean horrible okay all right so if something's really good you
won't say it's nice no you wouldn't no all right all right okay it's not
good okay okay it's not great so nice is like all right okay okay cool yeah so it's not like
damn that's nice sometimes i'll say that there you go it's all context it's how you say things
yeah yeah yeah yeah all right cool it's pleasant that that pasta is pleasant i would i would i wouldn. I wouldn't try that pasta.
That's such bitch.
I couldn't be with you.
I couldn't be in a gay relationship with you.
If things were pleasant all the time.
I think I say, I tone it down because my dad, everything, whatever is possible, go, oh, phenomenal.
But it's not phenomenal.
So that's where it comes from.
It's okay.
So that's where it comes from.
Phenomenal is a big word.
Right, yeah.
I mean, I don't like-
If someone said, did you watch Chris' special?
I go, phenomenal.
Right, right.
You're like, holy shit.
Yeah, thank you very much.
No, and thank you.
Yeah.
But then you watch and you're like-
It was nice.
It's nice.
It's nice.
I got through it.
It was nice.
It's noise.
Yeah.
If you say it like that, it's different.
Yeah, okay.
If you change the pronunciation-
I always wanted to know that and I never asked you.
If you put a oince on things, you know? Oh, yeah. I say nice like that, it's different. Yeah, okay. If you change your pronunciation. I always wanted to know that, and I never asked you. If you put a oinks on things, you know?
Oh, yeah.
I say nice a lot, though.
But I'm for it.
I'm not, this is not a nice.
Now you're going to be like questioning yourself.
No, what do you think about it?
No, he'll be all right.
Yeah.
It's nice.
Nice.
He'll be all right.
Nice, guys. Thank you.