The Golden Hour - Her Face Got A Wagon | The Golden Hour #28 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: May 12, 2023

Erik and Brendan bond over their love for American Idol and the guys talk how their wives cook, Australian girls, hottest accents, the Howard Stern/NBA controversy, celebrities wh...o refuse to age out and much more!  

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 You know what that's like in, what's that movie, A Quiet Place? Just play loud music the whole time, you'll be fine. Just all good. They go, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. Do you know what I'm saying? Keep them there. Be quiet, be quiet, don't do that. And then somebody farts.
Starting point is 00:00:16 We're friends that laugh. We're friends that shout. Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about. But that won't stop us Nothing can stop us Cause I can show you used to love Just rebrand it enough It's stronger, better, bigger power
Starting point is 00:00:40 Cause it is the golden hour It's the golden hour. It's the golden hour. Rachel watches too much TikTok. Okay. Okay. And she gets like whatever like they, it's like the new. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:01:03 I used to do that before. It's the new they said, you know? Oh, right. You know what I mean? You know what they said? So she like – My mom does it with Facebook, but now it's TikTok with the – Yeah. Your mom's old.
Starting point is 00:01:16 Yeah, older people do it. You know what they say. It's like somebody said on their fucking status update. So it's like she got some strawberries. Uh-huh. Okay. She put them in a bowl. Okay.
Starting point is 00:01:29 With hot ass water. Is it Tic Tac Challenge or something? And salt. Okay. And then she left them there. Okay. And then she said, hey, can the strawberry, don't forget the strawberries. I went down.
Starting point is 00:01:40 I'm like, you cooked them. They're now soup. Is she making a pie? No. She just thinks that that's how you're supposed to do it, that you take them out. Do what? To clean the strawberries. Oh, there's a spray for that, lady.
Starting point is 00:01:55 Dude, don't even get me started. Put it under the water and go like this. No, it's not enough according to TikTok. Okay. So now we have these like, they look like. Now I got strawberry soup. They look like you go to the pound and you see those sad dogs. They look like my nuts on TRT.
Starting point is 00:02:09 They're all shriveled up. And red. And mossy. It's ridiculous. So now these strawberries are ruined. Well, that's fine, but it's annoying, but it's fine. Did you hit her? No.
Starting point is 00:02:19 Did you go over the strawberries? Do you believe that? No, you suggested it. I don't know. We know what's going on in your house now. That's what's happening there. Don't plug up the strawberries, right? Yeah, I guess.
Starting point is 00:02:28 It's harder than money. I just don't – Does your wife get things from the internet and they go, we're going to do this? So my wife, I am so thankful because she's – now that she had – we had the second Williams here and she's feeling like, you know. She started cooking.
Starting point is 00:02:49 Dude, she never really cooked. She cooked sometimes. Bro, she's cooking. Is it bad white girl cooking? No, she's good, dude. She just gets it from the internet. His bone comes out. You guys just keep doing the show? Yeah. She gets it from the internet and His bone comes out. You guys just keep doing the show?
Starting point is 00:03:05 Yeah. She gets it from the internet, and she just does it, you know. Is she doing white girl dishes, though? Like, you know, like casserole. What did she do? She did steak. She did, you know, she did some pasta. We did pasta.
Starting point is 00:03:17 Chicken. She did a chicken piccata. She's good, man. She's a good cook. She cooked for everybody. We came home from the road last night. We came home. She cooked for everybody, and everyone was like, man, this is amazing.
Starting point is 00:03:25 Oh, that's nice. Yeah, I mean, I'm everyone's boss. They have to say that. Yeah, I know. Everybody's boss. Your wife's cooking. Unreal, man. Just have me come over.
Starting point is 00:03:33 Yeah, I know. Yeah, have Eric do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, man, what's the salt up in this bitch? Everyone's going to be looking just to wait and see it. I'll, okay. Okay, not bad. All right, all right, all right.
Starting point is 00:03:44 For a white, it's not bad There's nothing worse If it's bad cooking I would I would honestly I would I think I would I would probably tell her
Starting point is 00:03:51 I would be like baby Let's just order My girl can cook But it's only like I mean authentic Mexican shit I don't know what it is It tastes good Sometimes
Starting point is 00:04:00 Got it It's not for me As a white dude Like it's way too spicy Oh really When her grandma's over I'm like oh there's I bet I'd love it I can't eat this It's too spicy My kids eat white dude. It's way too spicy. Oh, really? When her grandma's over, I'm like, oh, there's – I bet I'd love it.
Starting point is 00:04:05 I can't eat this. It's too spicy. My kids eat it because of Raph. What do you mean like every day? How many Mexican dishes can you cook? There's really just one. That's what I thought. After enchiladas.
Starting point is 00:04:16 It's all the same though. Burritos and tacos. What are you doing on Thursday? No, no. That's what I learned. I was like, where's the burritos? Where's the tacos? That's not Mexican. Chili reno. No, bro. That's not. That's what I learned. I was like, where's the burritos? Where's the tacos? That's not Mexico.
Starting point is 00:04:25 Chili Reno. Like what? Oh, no, bro. They're making all sorts of weird soups. I came home the other day and they had a cow stomach lining. What? I was like, well, daddy works too hard for you to still eat cow stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:38 We're not living in the favelas anymore. And that's. You don't have to eat the cow tongue either. Oh, God. And that's. I think it's voodoo. She cooked it? Oh, yeah. So your wife cooks. And that's so... I think it's voodoo. She cooked it? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:46 So your wife cooks. If she's making cow stomach... She cooks all the time. Oh, that's awesome. It's just stuff I don't eat. That's why I'm losing weight. But is it always Mexican food? Only Mexican food.
Starting point is 00:04:55 Wow. Well, that's pretty wild. It is wild. Oh, I'm a... Listen, there's 365 days in a year, right? Even in Mexico, they do. Even in... Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:04 You want pasta? Yeah, they're like, should we make some? There's Chinese food in Mexico, you know? It's a lot of soup. I'm just saying, how many Mexican dishes are there to repeat? Okay, what I'm saying is like, after 45 days, it's like, oh, we're back to enchiladas?
Starting point is 00:05:19 No, flautas. When they make the flautas. What does she repeat a lot? Soup, pozole, I guess. Apparently it's aas. When they make the flautas. Yeah. What does she repeat a lot? Soup. Pasole, I guess. Apparently, it's a meal. To me, it's just, where's the rest of the dish? Right, right, right.
Starting point is 00:05:32 I can't eat a soup. I'm a grown man. I can't have soup for dinner. But Mexican food is all the same. That's where you're wrong, white boy. No, but it's all repurposed. No, dude. See, you're thinking.
Starting point is 00:05:43 Nachos is tacos is burritos. Oh, wow. That's not Mexican food, dude. I understand. Our Latino audience right now is laughing with me. That's okay. Yeah, you're thinking. Nachos is tacos is burritos. Oh, wow. That's not Mexican food, dude. I understand. Our Latino audience right now is laughing with me. That's okay. Yeah, he's stupid. That's fine.
Starting point is 00:05:52 Menudo rojo. Menudo rojo is my favorite. You see the stuff that looks like honeycombs? Yeah. That's actually the lining of a cow's stomach that they eat. Daddy's on the road too much for you to still eat cow's stomach. I mean, it's a delicacy. Is it? Yeah, if you sleep on bamboo.
Starting point is 00:06:07 Yeah. Wait, wait. You think the Mexican audience appreciates this? Yeah, yeah, really. Yes. Yes. Honeycomb tripe is the most geometrically beautiful of all four of a cow's stomach. Okay.
Starting point is 00:06:18 It's disgusting. But how's it taste, though? And it smells. Smells in the house. I'm like a refugee in my own house, man. It's a disaster Well you know That's your life now So there you go
Starting point is 00:06:28 Andle andle Yeah I'll be in Nashville I'll be in Pennsylvania I'll be in Colorado I'll be in Salt Lake I gotta Oh you're in Pueblo Colorado
Starting point is 00:06:37 You can get You can get that weird suit there Yeah I'm gonna get Shot up in Pueblo Are you gonna try Cal's stomach suit No I won't I won't
Starting point is 00:06:44 But anyway Go to chrislea.com Got some. But anyway, go to chrislea.com. Got some dates in Canada. So go to chrislea.com. Get tickets. Where are you going to be? La Jolla or some shit? Wow. You're going to do that casino like two hours away?
Starting point is 00:06:55 Were you going to say it like that? What is that? Oh, my God. Just go to chrislea.com. I'm going to start putting my dates on your website. We just put our dates on his because he put. People will be like, oh, I think Eric Griffin is going to start putting my dates on your website. We just put our dates on his. People will be like, oh, I think Eric Griffin is going to be. Wait.
Starting point is 00:07:12 I got nothing in May, but June, Huntsville. Oh, you're going to be in Huntsville? Yeah, and then I'm going to be in Nashville. You're at the Ice House with me next Friday, May 19th. I'm going to be in Utah then. Jeff Dye, Sam Tripoli. You're supposed to do it. You can't do it.
Starting point is 00:07:25 Eric Griffin, we got a dope lineup. 8 o'clock show at the Ice House. And Greg Potter. Yep, that's right. I love Greg. And then first week of June, I am in La Jolla,
Starting point is 00:07:33 comedy story, son of a bitch. Friday, Saturday, Sunday. And then June 15th, the Europe trip starts. I was going to ask about that. It starts in Glasgow. And I'm not going. London, Manchester.
Starting point is 00:07:42 Oh, you're not? Yeah. It's just too short of notice. Yeah, we should have just planned it ahead of time. I want to do that. I got an Australian one I'm putting on sale soon. Australia's so fun. You did it.
Starting point is 00:07:52 Yeah, you did it. Yeah. Like seven years ago. Have you done Australia? No. It's good. It's an interesting... It's interesting.
Starting point is 00:07:59 It's weird. It's like you fall asleep and dream about America, and it's just like a little bit different. You know what I'm saying? You've done it before? Yeah. Yeah, it's weird. It's like you fall asleep and dream about America, and it's just like a little bit different. You know what I'm saying? You've done it before. Yeah. Yeah, it's great. It's not what you think either. It's not, no.
Starting point is 00:08:12 You just feel like you're in a cleaner America. Cleaner America, white people with accents, and then tons of Asians. And nobody in Australia doesn't have tattoos. It's crazy how many tattoos people in Australia have. And there's no ugly girls there either. Some in the water. The koalas have herpes though.
Starting point is 00:08:32 Chlamydia. Chlamydia, that's right. The one I had had herpes. Yeah, the girls were hot in Australia, except they see them like this. So that's a demerit. Is it? Is it going?
Starting point is 00:08:46 Yeah. Oh, damn. Look at this chick. Hello. Is it going? You like the way the titties go up on the down step? You're so stupid. He's so fucking stupid.
Starting point is 00:09:02 And they call seafood bugs. Oh, that's terrible, dude. Like crabs Seafood Bugs Oh that's a terrible Like crabs and lobster Like you want a side of bug I'm like absolutely not Yeah You wanna eat a fucking bug Yeah
Starting point is 00:09:10 Eat a bug They're right though They are bugs That's fucking good Bugs of the sea Eat that shit You fucking asshole Fucking eat it
Starting point is 00:09:17 I'll see you later These go up on the downswing Titties go up on the downswing How big are these titties Yeah It's the girl that called in They're so big. Australian women are so hot, and then they're all tatted up.
Starting point is 00:09:28 So they're just like, oh, my titties are all tatted up. Just dancing on the dance step. So they're not hitting her chin at all? No, because she dodges. Would you rather deal with an Australian accent or a British? Well, British, I think, can be very hot. Here's the one, though. What's your P's and Q's?
Starting point is 00:09:49 Australian or Boston? Boston chick is crazy weird. Hotta. Maybe so hot, but then she's just like, aw. You know what I mean? You're like,
Starting point is 00:09:59 I don't like it. Eric. You know, I got a fat cock. Yeah. Hey, Patreon. What's up? We got a new channel.
Starting point is 00:10:04 We got to do Patreon. We have Patreon, dude. We've been having Patreon, and it is patreon.com slash the golden hour podcast. Patreon.com. What do they get, though, bro? The golden hour podcast. Two extra episodes per month. Two?
Starting point is 00:10:16 Two extra episodes, guys. Ad free? Ad free. And the real important part is our Patreon guys, members, have a chance to zoom in and talk to us. You get 12 episodes already available right now. Only Patreon. Patreon only episodes. 12.
Starting point is 00:10:32 Patreon.com slash thegoldenhourpodcast. Come get you some, Patreones. Oh, you know, the King and Queen were on American Idol the other night. You watched it? Yeah. What? Yeah. They were?
Starting point is 00:10:44 Welcome to the club. What did they do? I love American Idol. What night. You watched it? Yeah. What? They were? Welcome to the club. What did they do? I love American Idol. What'd you do? Still? Are you kidding me? We don't talk about American Idol? Still?
Starting point is 00:10:53 I can't believe this. Hit the showers. I can't believe the three people that they kicked off. Yeah, me neither. Unreal, dude. And the redhead? I know who's going to win now. Me too.
Starting point is 00:11:02 Who do you got? That kid. The country kid. Yeah. It's okay. Hands down, he's going to win now. Me too. Who do you got? That kid. The country kid. Yeah. It's okay. Hands down, he's going to win. All day. Because that's what they do.
Starting point is 00:11:09 That's what they do. They want to make money. Country music. I'm surprised that the country guy with the beard got kicked off. It's okay. I wasn't. When they start going. And that young girl, she was great.
Starting point is 00:11:20 That's all good, man. You know who else could maybe win? Is the little country girl. Oh, yes. She's great. She's special. That's okay. But they don't like the fat guy? No chance. It's good, man. Oh, you know who else could maybe win is the little country girl. Oh, yes. She's great. That's okay. But they don't like, the fat guy, no chance. It's okay, man.
Starting point is 00:11:29 The Hawaiian guy, he's so good. Sounds the same every time. Hit the shower. Don't worry about it, man. The last fat guy to win was Ruben Stutter. They just don't do it. Sorry, 2000 or whatever. Because you can't make money off of him.
Starting point is 00:11:39 Yeah. Don't even worry about it. He's great, though. That kid is great. Oh, I love him. And his story with his dad. I heard he's a dick. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:45 That show makes me cry. All the time. Yeah. Taylor Hicks. Eric. That kid is great. Oh, I love him. And his story with his dad. I heard he's a dick. That show makes me cry. All the time. Yeah. Taylor Hicks. Hey, Rick. I had no clue. Yeah, all the time. Taylor Hicks, huh?
Starting point is 00:11:51 Me and Rick Glassman. Rick Glassman's another one that we'll hit each other up. I'll be like, you crying? Oh, put me in that group chat. Dude, I don't miss. Dude, I shut things down. I record it so I can watch it. He just doesn't even listen to music.
Starting point is 00:12:04 Wait, wait. He don't listen to music. So he's not going to listen to somebody else singing somebody else's song. Because it's bad. And he doesn I can watch it. He just can't even listen to music. Wait, wait. He don't listen to music. So he's not going to listen to somebody else singing somebody else's song. Because it's bad. And he doesn't listen to it. To be loved. Oh, what a feeling to be loved. I would make it to Hollywood.
Starting point is 00:12:15 You wouldn't make it to Hollywood. No, you would be like this. That was terrible. And your mom would be outside. He always sings to us. Sorry, I do. My mom says I sound like Brian McKnight remember that guy I used to love that guy
Starting point is 00:12:30 that guy my family says I sound like Brian McKnight and dude after that do you know that one bro pull up that clip my family says I sound like Brian McKnight dude it's so bad it's so bad and he can't sing at all the only thing I was missing really is there isn't anybody like, I don't want to say mean,
Starting point is 00:12:48 but I want to say they keep it 100. That's my critique every single time. They don't keep it 100 now? Yeah, they don't. Everything's too positive. No, it's Katy Perry, who's great. Lionel Richie and Luke Bright. Luke Bright.
Starting point is 00:13:01 Oh, of course they don't keep it real. They need Eric on there. Oh, that's what we need. Yeah, I would have that. Wait, weren't you annoyed by that? It's okay, man. Trista.com. Weren't you annoyed by that?
Starting point is 00:13:11 Trista.com. Because you wanted the oops, right? You wanted the oops, and you got the... After this era, people started going on the show to be funny. That's when I checked out. Do you understand what I'm saying? No, no, no. But again, though, I had a buddy the show to be funny. That's when I checked out. Do you understand what I'm saying? No, no, no. But again, though, I had a buddy of mine.
Starting point is 00:13:28 Register it. Take it in. Register it. I know. I'm going to say, but I had a buddy of mine that got on there. Yeah. And there is an element of that. Right.
Starting point is 00:13:35 But there's so many levels. But, you know, they take the- Yeah, I know. The top 25 don't fuck around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Especially this. Once you get into it, this is one of the best talent, most talented. They're so talented. How many years? How many years? 20 something years. Yeah, yeah. Especially this. Once you get into it, this is one of the best most talented. They're so talented.
Starting point is 00:13:46 How many years? 20 something years? To be alive. They had a couple stops and then that would move from Fox to ABC. Oh. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:54 You remember that, what is it, Sinjaya? Remember Howard Stern thought it would be funny to troll American Idol and have his fan base vote for that kid
Starting point is 00:14:01 to get him to the next level and he can't sing? So this kid, because of Howard Stern back in the day, this is howard stern was in a woke fuck back in the day when he was like pushing his audience was kept voting for the kid and the kid kept beating legit people american i was like we gotta do something about this man well i mean it is that that to me that legitimized that the vote was real yeah howard stern isn't he involved in something right now where he was mad at some football players or something like that?
Starting point is 00:14:25 Howard Stern? Yeah. He said he was courtside of the Knicks game and he was pissed that the players only came up to. Oh, he says because he's not black. Yeah, they came up to like, I can't remember who was on sidelines, but only black stars. And he said, because I'm white, the players won't talk to me. No, no, here's the point. Nobody knows you.
Starting point is 00:14:42 You're a dinosaur. If it's 1994, they would say, what's up? Patrick Ewan would say, what's up? It's not very woke. But he's still huge, no? Who'd they go up to? No. Who'd they go up to?
Starting point is 00:14:54 What do you mean? If they went up to famous black people, okay. Like Spike Lee's there, it's the Knicks. Spike Lee's not. They went to Chris DiStefano. Oh, Tracy Morgan was one. You made that up, okay. You made that up. Okay.
Starting point is 00:15:05 I made that up. Tracy Morgan, no, yeah. Yeah, but Tracy Morgan, like Spike Lee is, if you are a fan of the Knicks, you know who Spike Lee is from being a Knicks fan. Yeah, yeah, I know. Also, why is that even news? Who gives a shit that he said that? Go up. What's a, J.R. Smith reveals why black and blue won't acknowledge
Starting point is 00:15:24 how his turn at Magic. Oh, well, why is it? Because they're young. Is that what he said, though? No, I'm telling you that's what it is. No, I understand. They don't know who he is. But all this stuff with –
Starting point is 00:15:35 so obviously like Strathmore and Chris Rock. Chris Rock, yeah, they know who he is. For those young kids, they're 23, 24. His heyday is way past. But also Howard Stern and the same thing happened with Jimmy Kimmel. They used to be so crazy, right? Like crazy with women, and they'd have porno stars on and do all that crazy shit. And then once the cancel culture started coming, they're like, oh, shit, we have such a bad past.
Starting point is 00:16:00 We better rep hard for the other side or we're going to get canceled. So that's what they do. Yeah. Oh, they do. Yeah. Oh, gotcha. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it just happens, man. Like, that happens to everyone. How old is Howard Stern anyway right now?
Starting point is 00:16:15 That's what I'm saying, man. It's like, you know what? People just don't know how to age gracefully. People don't know how to, like, when people get a certain level of fame, especially big fame, they don't know how to let it go. Yes. You know what I mean? Look at Madonna.
Starting point is 00:16:30 Madonna's, like, going, like, she's going crazy. That bitch got a wagon, though. It doesn't matter, though, because her face is a wagon. You know what I mean? Like, it's just, it's sad. Or it's being ran over by a wagon. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Face got ran over.
Starting point is 00:16:43 No, but it's like, you know, but part of me understands that this thing of like, listen, there are very few people that are famous by one name. Right. Okay? It's like Jesus. Cher. Cher. Madonna.
Starting point is 00:16:58 Hitler. Okay, well, that's a little bit of an infamous thing. Yeah. But I'm just saying, so she's like. I'd say Hillary. Because I heard her say, she had this thing where she goes, like women over 45 aren't celebrated. First of all, you're 64. Right, right, right. So we already have some delusional stuff going on right there.
Starting point is 00:17:17 Say women over 60. Yeah, you know what I mean? Because there's some at 45 who celebrate. No, no, but she's not using the right word. Celebrated. She's the most celebrated female artist of all time. If she went and did a concert right now, it would sell out. People would come with the cone titties.
Starting point is 00:17:32 Yeah. You know, people would be like jamming. Old ladies. Yeah. She's that famous. Okay. She don't mean celebrated. What does she mean?
Starting point is 00:17:40 She means. Relevant. Relevant and people want, nobody wants to smash. Right. Well, she has that young boyfriend. That is what it means. Yeah. and nobody wants to smash. Right. Well, she has that young boyfriend. That is what it means, yeah. That's what it means.
Starting point is 00:17:49 Yeah, nobody wants to smash. Nobody wants to smash. Well, this young man does. He's young as fuck. 25, 27? You stayed Amber Rose? Why I know this? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:17:59 So is she grooming him? You know what I mean? If this was the opposite, think how mad people would be. Well, yeah, of course. But here's the thing, man. That dude sell out. Yeah, but it's like a lot of young dudes like older women. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:14 There are dudes that do. You know, there are dudes that are like, is this going to last? Who knows? It doesn't even matter. Hey, my thing is this. Do you, girl. Yeah, yeah. But don't act like it's okay to age out of this. It's okay to age out of this right it's okay i always say like when you're like a hot famous woman you're like a professional athlete yeah 38 comes and you got
Starting point is 00:18:36 the window but you know what i'm saying what i mean it was like it's like you had your time and it's a great run just because people don't look at you the same way they looked at you When you were 22 But she found a guy that does Yeah but 64 is old She has 6 kids She does? Older than him
Starting point is 00:18:55 You know Lionel Richie I think his girlfriend and wife is like 32 He's 70 I don't give a fuck Wow All night long All night 32? He's 70? I don't give a fuck. Wow. All night long. All night. All night.
Starting point is 00:19:13 All night. I don't do duets. Wait, this isn't a duet. We're backing you up. You know what I'm saying? All night. All right, cool. You don't do du saying? You went to all night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's cool. That's cool. Okay. All right. Cool. Sounds good.
Starting point is 00:19:25 Climbing in the street. All right. All right. All right. That sounds good. You don't do duets? I don't. Why not? So what would you do?
Starting point is 00:19:31 You would be doing Beauty and the Beast and you would just wait, let the music play. I do all the parts. Then you would come in. Like the clubs. The switches. Like the clubs. So you couldn't do endless love? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:41 Like Nutty Professor. What's this? What do you got? That would be funny. Hell yeah. It would be great. I always wanted to do that. You take, like, the filter.
Starting point is 00:19:48 This is the guy who did the... Yeah. Yeah, this is from at Blessed Designed, David. We can open this as we're playing this. Yeah, it's right there. That's what that is. Okay, cool. Let's open it.
Starting point is 00:20:03 Yeah. So that's just him painting it, and that's the painting. Name a better theme song in podcasting. Can't. Riffin' with Riffin'. A lot of people copy, though, right? Social media promoter tours. Dinner, why?
Starting point is 00:20:23 Golden hour. Here we go. Here it is. The guy who sings that is from that show Jury Duty. What's this? Guy just put that in there. That's good. Wow. Let's see. All right, there's a bunch of stickers and stuff in here that I think he's trying
Starting point is 00:20:40 to self promote. Cool, that's good. Let's go to- He wrote something here self promote. Oh cool that's good. He wrote something here. What up golden boys. Wanted to create this piece as a huge thank you for all. Here we go let's do it again. How does that look Nick on the thing? Looks good.
Starting point is 00:20:57 What up golden boys. Wanted to create this piece as a huge thank you for all the laughs you've brought into my home. I'm a single dad. the laughs you've brought into my home. I'm a single dad. I'm two supporting us with my art. And I've been sober for 13 months. And laughter and your comedy has helped me a lot on the tough days.
Starting point is 00:21:16 Damn, that's cool. It's a really long message, so I won't read the whole thing. Okay, cool. But, bro, thank you and good luck. Yeah, thank you. And so check out what's his name? So talented. It's at blessed design B-L-E-S-T
Starting point is 00:21:27 blessed design at blessed design you talented son of a bitch yeah that's amazing that's so cool oh man Chris is my favorite what's that part say
Starting point is 00:21:35 no on the back it was like Brent is the only reason I pay attention to the show oh man cool you didn't have to write that I don't think it said that
Starting point is 00:21:42 no he doesn't have to write that damn that is sick it's definitely going to fall that's alright it's okay I'll hit. No, you don't have to write that. Damn, that is sick. It's definitely going to fall. That's all right. It's okay. I'll hit him in the head and we'll laugh. I'll hit him in the head and we'll laugh. That's great, dude.
Starting point is 00:21:51 Thanks so much. That's so cool, man. It's cool how you put all the wrinkles on my face. Fuck yeah, dude. Yeah, well, you're getting older. Christian's like a Tate brother. Andrew Tate, you're saying? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:03 Does he have a brother? Yeah. Oh, really? I didn't know that. You just look weird. Yeah, you look a little bit. All right, well, you're saying yeah does he have a brother yeah oh really I didn't know that you just look weird yeah you look like you're a bit alright well you're saying
Starting point is 00:22:09 splash of the downs I look weird splash of the downs on that picture no dude you don't really look like that he killed it I know it's great
Starting point is 00:22:15 no it's good but your face is a little I mean it doesn't look like us but it's great it's good dude I look like Osama Bin Laden that's okay that's definitely me
Starting point is 00:22:23 or he killed it you got my likeness man Eric's is definitely the best yeah yeah like Osama Bin Laden. That's okay. That's definitely me. Or he killed it. You got my likeness, man. Eric's is definitely the best. Yeah, he did kill Eric, but that's because Eric has the most regular face. Yeah, it's easy to draw. He gave Eric a flat top. We're interesting. So, so us.
Starting point is 00:22:35 We're interesting. A regular face? I have a regular face. Okay. My shit is fucking crazy wild. All right. You have a bullshit face. He looks like that guy that voted off American Idol.
Starting point is 00:22:47 Where's the beanies? Eric Griff from Brendan Shaw. What's going on, Golden Hour? Brendan, you might recognize me. I've called King of the Sting a couple times. I was that 400-pounder putting a little buffalo trace in his eggnog. You know what I mean? Down 220 pounds.
Starting point is 00:23:01 George wants some. He can come get it. He's got a good voice. My real question here is Chris has done this on his show. You guys don't do it that much. But I just want to know, what the bitch is it? Okay? What the bitch is it to grab that fucking basket from Target?
Starting point is 00:23:17 One item, three items, or the fucking whole store, you just get the cart. Yeah. Let me know, Golden Hour. Love the show. Peace. Congrats, brother. Congrats on the weight the way yeah yeah that's great dude he lost a whole yeah keto george fuck you up but whatever oh well uh so the the basket yeah it's it's definitely more bitch with the basket you know hold it hold it like that but like i would i would say though that um i don't know you think just get the cart i think just get the cart? I think just get the cart. Sometimes it's just a lot.
Starting point is 00:23:46 And sometimes the carts are farther away. No, it depends on, like, if I'm going to the store by myself, I might grab a basket because I know I'm only going to get two or three things and I'm out. Make it quick. But then just grab two or three. If I'm with Rachel, if I grab the basket, next thing you know, I'm like, what are you doing? She's like, I need. And then I'm like, now I got to go get two carts. Does Calvin like to ride in the carts, though?
Starting point is 00:24:07 Because now I have to get carts because Tiger Bossy, it's a fucking ride. You know, we haven't put him in one of those in a while. But Kristen will be like, just get a basket. We'll get a basket, and then she'll fill it up. I'm like, I got to go get a fucking cart now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, she tries to play it like we're not going to get. No, but yeah, but I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:24:23 Right by point. And then you're like, what the? Am I a waitlister? Right, right're like what am i right right right right it's so heavy that's i feel it up like yeah like this i can't believe this thing can hold all this shit yeah i'll put coke oh you in the good ones with the you know it has the wheels on it yeah but then there's not the car that's some whole shit that's like the motorcycles with the big ass back and the shit and like two tires in the back yeah it's like dude like dude, just get the fucking, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:24:46 I don't even like, when's the last time you even went to the market? We went the other day. We go, because Kristen cooks. Yeah, so does my girl.
Starting point is 00:24:53 I have to go all the time and ask for random Mexican shit. They're like, bitch, it's Whole Foods. Your girl doesn't cook? No. No.
Starting point is 00:24:59 She doesn't, and we talked about this yesterday. She cooks strawberries. Yeah. Yeah. We should have put some chicken in it. What are you cooking right here? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:07 Now she's all like, why work? Right, right. I actually like to cook. I feel like you can cook. That's how it was in my family growing up. My family origin. My dad would cook. Well, you say family origin instead of family because family now is my kids and my wife.
Starting point is 00:25:22 But family origin is my dad and my mom, dude. Family origin. Your dad did all the cooking? Your family origin. You're saying it like you're Batman. That's right. Well, it's very cool to say it that way but you know what I mean
Starting point is 00:25:30 but it also sounds a little bit more like Batman. And your daddy was a good cook? My family of origin and my father and my family of origin was the cook, yeah. And your daddy cooked what? Wasn't he busy as shit?
Starting point is 00:25:39 What's your mom doing? My mom will cook sometimes. Does your mom work? No. She will cook sometimes. My dad liked to cook. He would come in here and make some pasta. My dad is like, hey, you make the fucking, you know.
Starting point is 00:25:49 And his mom was a terrible cook. Well, no, she wasn't terrible. She would just not. She didn't care about it. She just made like chicken and broccoli and shit, you know. So she was. All right. You know.
Starting point is 00:25:59 My dad. That's what it is. But it was good. My dad would cook hamburger helper. Like we grew up on hamburger helper. Look, during the pandemic, that was what I was doing. Gotcha. I was just like, what would you make?
Starting point is 00:26:09 I would get these meal kits that would come. Then I would do it on Instagram. This guy's microwaving shit. He's microwaving shit. No, no, no. It's the one where they give you the ingredients to cook. Yeah, he microwaves it. I wasn't microwaving.
Starting point is 00:26:24 My dad was cooking a lot, too. I had Postmates. I'm done with you, too. cook. Yeah, microwaves. I wasn't microwaving. I was cooking a lot, too. I had Postmates. Oh, I'm done with you, too. I'd open the bag up. Was it one of our sponsors? I can't remember. No, no, no. There's so many food ones.
Starting point is 00:26:33 Was it HelloFresh? Yeah. Yeah. There you go. There you go. There you go. You picked up on it, Doug. Yeah, I don't know. I don't cook. I can grill. I can grill my ass. Not me, dude. You don't have the patience to cook. There you go. There. You picked up on it, Doug. Yeah, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:26:45 I don't cook. I can grill. I can grill my ass off. Not me, dude. You don't have the patience to cook. That's why. A hundred percent. But also, I eat so quick.
Starting point is 00:26:52 It's like, dude, I fucking did that for an hour, and then it took two or three minutes. With the family, bro. No, when you cook. When you cook. Yeah. Okay, I remember this happening. I was cooking a lot during the pandemic, and I enjoyed it. Actually, it was healthier.
Starting point is 00:27:09 I was losing weight. Yeah, it's definitely healthier. And then the restaurants opened up again for a hot second, and then we went to like Morton's, and I didn't enjoy it. You know what? I was like, ugh. I didn't like the experience. I was sitting there just waiting, and I was like, you know what?
Starting point is 00:27:23 I like what I'm doing at home. And now I got this great Traeger grill. Oh, those are dope. The smoker. Yeah, there you go. Oh, man. Shout out to them because they sent it to me. We got to do a barbecue with everyone. Have you guys over at the crib. You and I grill. Yeah, let's get some grill in there. I'll make a weird peanut butter
Starting point is 00:27:38 and jelly fucking burger or whatever you want. Oh, that's great. That's not weird. That's delicious. That's weird for me, man. I'll eat a burger. I also eat cow stomach, so what are you talking about? I'll eat a fucking burger. I'll eat that burger. I'll eat the fucking burger. That's not weird. That's delicious. It's weird for me, man. I'll eat a burger. I also eat cow stomach, so what do I know? What are you talking about? I'll eat a fucking burger. I'll eat that burger. I'll eat the fucking burger.
Starting point is 00:27:48 We'll do that. Go to public school, that restaurant. It's great. They have a peanut butter and jelly burger. Public school's great. Yeah. Get it there. It's a great burger.
Starting point is 00:27:56 I'll have that conversation not on the podcast. So anyway, that's the list. Fair point. Fair point. We have to hear about Your mom's terrible cooking And now You said she cooked terrible I said she made chicken and broccoli
Starting point is 00:28:08 You co-signed it I don't trust your Judging on cooking though Everyone's good cook now Your wife You're so right My wife's good His dad's a good cook
Starting point is 00:28:17 His mom's a good cook Everyone His wife's a good cook Calvin's a good cook You know what I mean Calvin loves to pretend to cook I tell you that much Suspect dude I don't know what to tell to cook. I'll tell you that much. Suspect, dude.
Starting point is 00:28:27 I don't know what to tell you, man. I'll tell my girl. Too much salt. What are we doing here? We'll put more salt. I'm into the salt, dude. That drives us nuts. My palate is fucking ridiculously cool, man. My palate is crazy good. From the back of my throat to the front of it,
Starting point is 00:28:41 my palate is crazy. You have to taste something first, and then if you need salt. That's what pisses me off about you. I'm like to get the back of my throat to the front of it, dude. My palate is crazy. You have to taste something first, and then if it needs salt. That's what pisses me off about you. I'm like Minority Report with the salt. I know it needs salt beforehand. I check with the precogs, and they go, put salt on it. In the water, just chilling. And then they go.
Starting point is 00:28:58 Can I ask you something? Oh, boy. Here we go. Fact check it. You fucking dork. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can we dork out for a second here? You know what pisses me off about Minority Report?
Starting point is 00:29:06 Okay. If you get fired from your job, you know what they do? What? They change the locks. In Minority Report? No, I'm just saying in general. Oh, in real life. Got it.
Starting point is 00:29:16 Okay, yeah. They change the locks, right? Right, right, right. Why is his eye security still working that he can get into places? Nothing is more Eric. Fair point, though. Like, to the point where his wife got him out of jail with his eye security at the end of the movie.
Starting point is 00:29:32 Like, that's stupid. Yeah, it is stupid. But you know what that's like? In, what's that movie, A Quiet Place? Just play loud music the whole time. You'll be fine. Just all good. They go, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, fuck it.
Starting point is 00:29:45 Do you know what I'm saying? Keep them there. Be quiet, be quiet. Don't do that. And then somebody farts. Just play fucking loud music. You fart all day long. You're safe.
Starting point is 00:29:54 Imagine if you're just, you're that person. You're like, I'm trying to, it starts. You're like, oh no. This is all. If you rip a real bad one, they go. And run away. This is all Minority Report needed. Yep.
Starting point is 00:30:11 Here's a scene they needed. Okay, what? A guy's got a box. You know, he's in the elevator. And someone goes, hey, Tom, what's going on? He was like, I forgot to turn off his eye security. Right. And then you're like, oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:30:23 That makes sense. That makes sense. Ah, fuck, I didn't turn off his eye security. It's me're like oh okay that makes sense that's true i didn't turn off his eye security it's me it's right it's will ferrell it's will ferrell yeah oh uh wait so the takeaway is i need to change the lock to the thick boy studio let's see yeah yeah let's see what yes yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let's go to girl Chris here. Girl Chris.
Starting point is 00:30:50 It's Daria. What's up, Golden Hour? This is Stephanie coming to you from North Carolina. I was just calling in with a debate club topic. How do you guys feel about couples who sit on the same side of the table or in the same booth when you go out to eat for dinner? I enjoy it. Personally, I find it a bit creepy, but was just curious as to what you guys think.
Starting point is 00:31:09 You guys don't love each other. You guys do. Chris, I'll see you when you come to North Carolina in August. I'll be in Charlotte. Buzz, buzz, soar. Woo, woo, woo. Woo, woo, woo.
Starting point is 00:31:18 Chris, this is.com Charlotte. What? Rachel loves that shit. Sit in the same... Yeah. I always sit across. I like it, but... But this is the thing.
Starting point is 00:31:25 We'll sit. Then when the food comes, I'm like, Rachel. Yeah, yeah always sit across. I like it. But this is the thing. We'll sit. Then when the food comes, I'm like, Rachel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get on your side. Okay, go over there. Because I can't. My elbows. Yeah, I get it.
Starting point is 00:31:32 You know what I mean? I like to. When I eat, I like to be. You know what I'm saying? Do you? Yeah. I like it. I'm like, scoot over, bitch.
Starting point is 00:31:36 I scoot in. Interesting. Yeah. When it's just you and her. Oh, yeah. Cozy up. He's a. You got some hoes, man.
Starting point is 00:31:44 Big, soft, romantic. I don't not do it. I'm just. I do. We do. You got some hoes, man. Big, soft, romantic over here. I don't not do it. I'm just, I do, we do, I think we do do it sometimes, but I think when the food comes, for sure, we're face-to-face. I don't think it's creepy. It's not creepy. How about this? I like to sit like this.
Starting point is 00:31:55 Like, okay, if this is the table, you sit like this. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so I don't sit across. I might sit. You'll be closer. What's that all about? You need space. You're going to finish that seat?
Starting point is 00:32:05 No. That's the seat You're going to finish that seat? No. That's the seat you're going to finish at? You're so dumb. You can just go. You can just go. I'll cross way like this. It's too cumbersome. I'll do the other one.
Starting point is 00:32:20 Yeah, it's harder because there's always some dumb shit in the middle of the table. And your girl doesn't finish her food? Never. Never. No, never. So you know your girl doesn't finish her food? Never. Never. And she's like, you know. No, never. So you know when she orders. She can't be unsupervised.
Starting point is 00:32:30 You know, like if I let her, like if I just let her order, I'm going to come back to the table and it's going to be burgers, pizza. You know what I mean? My wife does that shit too now. A rack of lamb is going to be going like, what is, why? Where'd you get this board? Why did you do this? Where'd you get this VC off?
Starting point is 00:32:44 It's not even food. I'll just be like this. She's like, well, I just thought, you know. That's what she does. So I just like. A rack of land. You know? So then, you know, I just, sometimes I won't even order something.
Starting point is 00:32:54 I'll just order something small because I know. But here's the thing. This is Rachel's like this, though. When the food first comes. Yeah. I know she's not going to finish it. But I can't. I know.
Starting point is 00:33:04 I know. I'm waiting. I'm like, oh, fuck. Like, I can't get in because she's like, I'm getting food. Yeah. I know she's not going to finish it, but I can't. I know. I know. I'm waiting. I'm like, fuck. I can't get in because she's like, I'm getting food. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:09 I have to wait for her to just be like this. Like vultures. I'm full. Yeah. When she goes, I'm full. That's when I'm like.
Starting point is 00:33:18 Eric's all, I'm waiting on a diving board. The cookie monster. It's like Scrooge McDuck. Dude. The Kool-Aid man. With the coins. You and your old school
Starting point is 00:33:28 references today. Minority Report. Scrooge McDuck. Scrooge McDuck. Old school. I've been studying up on my old stuff for new, you know.
Starting point is 00:33:37 Material. Yeah. So you can go on Stern. Yeah. I did. What was the, what was I just talking about? You were just talking about food. Fuck it. What was the just talking about? You were just talking about food. Fuck it. You would go on Stern though, right?
Starting point is 00:33:49 If he calls, I gotta have you on. When I did that, my joke about Chris Rock and Will Smith a year ago, he put it on his show. And I've been on the after show many times. I did the after show. Yeah, I like Howard Stern, but I'm just saying that's a ridiculous thing to say.
Starting point is 00:34:07 You did the after show? I think I did. I think I did it with Dave Navarro. In New York. How weird is that? Dave Navarro fucks, dude. Dave Navarro is cool because he had his phone. I looked over his phone.
Starting point is 00:34:20 No text messages. He opened the text field, and he got a text, and he goes, checked it, and deleted it. Like, had no text messages on his phone text field and he got a text and he goes checked it and deleted it like had no text messages on his phone he wants no it was hilarious I was like
Starting point is 00:34:30 god damn dude did he have eyeliner on yeah hell yeah well that's how you have to do it you either delete all of them right right right yeah
Starting point is 00:34:38 I've never seen anyone do that but I wonder what Dave does now just be having money right doesn't he have money just his big dick and tattoos didn't he always have like the hot chicks carmen electro oh yeah dude he's known for it yeah but how old is he now yeah that's what i'm saying he was cool he's a good guy he still
Starting point is 00:34:54 got how old is he i don't know maybe not dude you know you never know though people are quietly like he might have invested in some shit yeah he's young. You know who I feel for? When I see the Backstreet Boys in that commercial where the girl's like, why is this so important? And they're like, tell me why! I don't know it. You know they need money.
Starting point is 00:35:17 It's funny though when she goes, okay, bye. He's like, that's not us. Yeah, but when you do commercials now, tell me why. I always know it's over for people when I see them at the halftime show of basketball games oh like Ja Rule or some shit yeah man
Starting point is 00:35:32 this is it you gotta get rid of this tell me why cause it stinks tell me why I don't know I've watched it so many times tell me why no you tell me why I can't get rid of this odor. Richie Savage.
Starting point is 00:35:46 Have you tried new downy rich and refresh? It doesn't just cover up odors. It helps remove them three times. Wait, this is my favorite part. Let's get to the end. I guess the odor went bye-bye. Nope. That's not us.
Starting point is 00:35:59 Sorry. That's funny. That's funny. Yeah, that's funny. A little NSYNC reference there. Chris is angry. It's not good. Did you get it? It's not a good commercial. It's not funny. I know, but that's what that's funny yeah that's funny a little NSYNC reference there Chris is angry it's not good did you get it
Starting point is 00:36:06 it's not a good commercial it's not funny I know but that's what we're saying it's sad it's sad that part is funny what are you talking about but they got fucked over
Starting point is 00:36:14 by their manager it's not funny it was funny that part was funny I enjoyed it come on it's charming you know what
Starting point is 00:36:20 it's cute it's over his head it's over my head you know what it is when I saw Justin Timberlake I said that to him you know what that this commercial was bad no no no when I. It's over his head. It's over my head. You know what it is? When I saw Justin Timberlake, I said that to him. You know what? That this commercial's bad?
Starting point is 00:36:26 No, no, no. I saw him at the Laugh Factory. Were you there that same night? Yeah, yeah. And I walked by, and he was like, hey. I was like, oh, man, is it okay if I say bye, bye, bye? Yeah, yeah. Did he go like this?
Starting point is 00:36:36 That's why he said to me afterwards, I hate Eric Griffiths. Yeah. I was at Monster Jam with Jessica Biel. She is. Is there anyone? I mean, she is so attractive. You know where she's from, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:47 All right, bro. Yeah, yeah, you guys know where she's from, right? That doesn't mean you're hotter. No, we're the same. It's in the water. It's the Colorado water. No. She's a Colorado kid.
Starting point is 00:36:56 There's a lot of monsters in Colorado, too, dude. Yeah, bro, particularly. I've never seen them. I've never seen them. Because you're not there anymore. You left because of all the monsters. I did go back last week, though. You did.
Starting point is 00:37:04 Yeah, you did. How was it? It was left because of all the monsters. I did go back last week. You did. How was it? It was cool. There's some monsters. Tell me why. Backstreet Boys story is sad because he got fucked over by that man. Yeah, we know, man. Stop bringing that up, man. We heard you the first time. We don't want to talk about that, man. Yeah, they fucked him over with the manager, right?
Starting point is 00:37:22 Yeah, there you go. And then Nick Carter, his whole family dying and shit. It's sad. I didn't know about that. I actually didn't know that Backstreet Boys were super famous in Europe before they blew up in Massa. Tell me why. Downy Russian.
Starting point is 00:37:41 Ain't nothing but a heartache. They were big in Europe. The gay one and Lance Bass still look good. You know what I mean? Lance Bass is the gay one. That's the joke. But anyway, Justin and him still look good. These other three, man.
Starting point is 00:38:00 Joey Fatone is the best looking one. Joey Fatone kind of looks good, too. He looks good, too. Yeah, but he's up and down. You went Broadway. Joey Fatone kind of looks good too. He looks good too. Yeah, but he's up and down. You went Broadway. Well, his weight's up and down. But it's fine to be an older guy with some weight on you.
Starting point is 00:38:13 But what I'm saying is this. He looks like a soccer dad, regular older guy. I'm saying Justin Timberlake. Looks the exact same. He looked like Justin Timberlake. But let me tell you this. The guy that's not in the group chat looks like shit. The two guys that don't look good are him. And why?
Starting point is 00:38:29 It's because he's dying his hair. The second you try to do something to not, it doesn't look natural. And the other guy, Chris Kirkpatrick, is because he's got that awful fucking thing on his chin. I mean, that's a pussy. Do you guys know who Jalen Rose is? You could kiss him and eat his pussy at the same time. Yeah. Of course. These are the jokes. No, I love them. Sorry. It was really funny. No, I a pussy. Do you guys know who Jalen Rose is? You could kiss him and eat his pussy at the same time. Yeah. Of course.
Starting point is 00:38:46 These are the jokes. No, I love them. Sorry. It was really funny. No, I liked it. Thank you. Thank you. Go ahead.
Starting point is 00:38:50 What were you saying? You're throwing a lot of heat today. No, no, but I'm with you on this. Guys that dye their hair. Don't dye your hair. No, but that's like you need to see a new picture of him. Every time I'm watching the NBA, it's like he's dyeing his hair and the dye job is... You look your age.
Starting point is 00:39:08 I feel like with black guys, it looks the worst. But your face, though, still is older. He has horrible takes, by the way. I don't like him as a black guy. I mean, you can't even tell on this picture, but he's dyeing his hair. He gets spray painted. Just don't dye your hair. You look the age you're supposed to look, and then you dye your hair?
Starting point is 00:39:26 It looks so weird. You might as well dye it purple. It's just wrong. There's one thing when women get plastic surgery, and it looks a certain way. Yeah. But when an older man- Oh, it's horrible, bro. Listen, when an older man gets plastic surgery, dude-
Starting point is 00:39:41 Any. It's like you're playing hide and seek with a nine-year-old, and you see their legs underneath the thing. Oh, that's so funny, bro. You have to be like this. You have to be like this. Ooh, where are you? That's so funny, dude. Any. It's like you're playing hide and seek with a nine-year-old and you see their legs underneath the thing. Oh, that's so funny, bro. You have to be like this. You have to be like this. Ooh, where are you? That's so funny, bro.
Starting point is 00:39:50 Oh, you look great. You look great. Everything's normal. Yeah. It's like you can't look like. Thank you. Here's the thing, though. You're 65.
Starting point is 00:40:01 So what do you look now? 59, maybe? I don't know. I don't get it. Brian got his lids done at 50. 65? So what do you look now? 59, maybe? I don't know. Brian got his lids done at 50. I just, when an older dude is really... Wayne Newton, dude. Wayne Newton looks like a fucking crazy person. That's horrible, bro.
Starting point is 00:40:17 That's horrible. I don't... I've never gotten anything done. I've never gotten my fucking... I never dyed my hair, ever in my life. Any. Even when I was like... I never dyed a fun color. I never dyed my hair ever in my life. Any. Even when I was like, I never dyed it. A fun color.
Starting point is 00:40:26 I never dyed my hair. Wayne Newton looks like a vampire. I was for a little while. Well, as an actor. Yeah, that's what it did. It'd be like, we need you to be whatever. It's like when I'm dying up here, I had to dye my mustache dark. So it was stupid to have this be dark.
Starting point is 00:40:42 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I had to walk around a regular society. But it's like, damn. That shit. You can just kind of always tell. I would just use it just for men. But then I didn't keep up with it so it would look ridiculous. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:55 But it is what it is. Damn blue eyes. Hey guys, this is Laura. I'm from Ottawa. I just wanted to call in and ask you guys a question that I need help with. So I got this kitten on the weekend and I still have no idea what to name it. I'm really bad with naming animals and I want you guys to name it. Whatever you guys choose, I will go with.
Starting point is 00:41:19 I was thinking of little Jerry Seinfeld, Theo. I don't really know. so any help would be great chris i will see you in ottawa in september and i couldn't be more excited and i'm so bloody nervous i have no idea what i'm gonna say to you um bring the cat and eric chin nick i love you guys all so much so thank you bye nice she seems nice name She named her cat. Oops. Oops the cat? That's kind of cute. Oops is cool. Oops the cat is cute. Oops. Oops.
Starting point is 00:41:48 Oopsies. Her boyfriend, what's wrong? No, it's a cat. Remember? It's a cat's name. Oops. What's wrong? Nothing.
Starting point is 00:41:56 Yeah, a little oops is cute. Oops is cute. Yeah, there you go. Oops. He did it. He decided. Oops the cat. It's done.
Starting point is 00:42:01 It's cute. I had this on my desk, right? Yeah. And so then when I'm gaming, then I take my headphones off, and it always hits it. Or if I'm really upset, because I get angry when I'm gaming, somebody just sends some dumb shit in chat. Do you play Fortnite? Yeah, a couple times.
Starting point is 00:42:22 What is it? My son, I just got it for him. Oh, dude. But not online. 2023. Not online, though. It has to be online. Oh, in order to...
Starting point is 00:42:31 No, he's playing not, but he's not playing against other people live. Then there's no point in playing the game. Really? Yeah. Then it's not for him. I don't want him online right now. Yeah, I get it. What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:42:41 I don't want him like a headset and some guy like, yeah, let me see your dick. Yeah, he's seven. He's seven. You just turn the chat off. Yeah, you got to monitor it? Oh, you turn the chat off? Yeah, just turn the chat off. You don't have to listen to people.
Starting point is 00:42:54 Take his mic away, you know, whatever. He doesn't have a mic. Yeah. All right. There's no submission for this. But you need to talk shit, though. I mean, it's just. You can't help him.
Starting point is 00:43:04 He's got to be in there like, well your mother bitch you know you're not hearing that from the other room you're your son doing yeah yeah like did you use the n-word he's like i'm playing fortnite i was this crazy to me is like apparently gays and black people are really good at call of duty because they shit talk because no because that's what you get called Gays and black people are really good at Call of Duty. Because they shit talk. No, because that's what you get called when you kill someone. Oh, that's fine. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:43:32 Wait, that's – Anytime you wreck somebody, they're – it's amazing. Is it a hard F-bomb? Oh, it's – I have – I screenshot them. I record the things. You should. And then I just – because it's just like, oh, this is- You're kind of a snitch, though, right? Yeah, hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:48 Hell yeah! It's kind of bullshit. And you add them, and you're like, look, this guy called me the F word. It's the streets out here, though, dude. I know, dude. It's the streets, dog, and you get snitched. There's no streets. There's no online streets.
Starting point is 00:43:57 It's the online streets. There's a big rat. Hey, watch your mouth. Oh, there we go. That's what snitched you. You're a hall monitor. Oh, hall monitor Eric, dude. That could be Tiger.
Starting point is 00:44:05 Watch your mouth. My problem is we go. That's what snitches. Your hall monitor. Oh, hall monitor Eric, dude. That could be Tiger. Watch your mouth. My problem is all these keyboard warriors out there, these white boys, you can tell that just some young kid that's never been punched in the mouth. Oh, yeah, dude. They need to be punched in the mouth. All these people online. They're snitching too. These people online are just, oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:44:19 No snitching, baby. I think that you should not be able to be online unless you have your name. Oh, I agree. 100%. It should be your name. Oh, I agree. Oh, 100%. It should be your name. I agree 100%. Because you know where I'm at. Yep.
Starting point is 00:44:29 Come get some. Go to AaronRiffin.com. He'll be at the Ice House. And ChrisDeLiga.com. I'll be on his website. Jam on. See my dates. Jam on.
Starting point is 00:44:35 You can walk into the club and be like, oh, yeah, they're not going to do that because you're a bitch. We're the man, dude. We are, man. You know where I'm at. You know where I'm at. Charlotte in August. Come. Show up. Come know where I'm at. You know where I'm at. Charlotte in August. Come.
Starting point is 00:44:46 Show up. Come through, motherfuckers. Huntsville. Nashville. They will shoot you. Show up. But also the kid's like, I'm 14, bro. I know.
Starting point is 00:44:54 That's what you should be saying. He's like, I can't even get in the club. Yeah, but dude, you're still a bitch. I get death threats, dude. I get death threats on the reg. I get death threats on the reg. It's just crazy. Don't go on tour, bro.
Starting point is 00:45:04 I'll see you. Where you at? Come on through, bro. What was he going to say about Chris Brown? Chris Brown and Usher got in some argument. I guess Chris Brown was yelling at Tiana Taylor, who I don't really know who that is, but they were on skates. That's too loud.
Starting point is 00:45:20 They should have just had a dance-off. It's like the movie ATL. Oh, and he slipped, too. too Oh they're on the roller skates That's hilarious dude Where's the argument Fuck you fuck you Is that that really hot chick Yes
Starting point is 00:45:39 She's made chompers Chris Brown is like a ballerina Chris Brown That dude a ballerina. Chris Brown? Yeah, that dude can dance. Oh, that dude's so, he creates some slappers. It's ridiculous. He lives near me and he had a yard sale for all his old clothes.
Starting point is 00:45:58 A yard sale? A yard sale to get rid of all his old clothes. The line, two miles long. Two miles long. Really? Does he need money? No, I think he was just like, hey, I'm trying to get rid of all this old shit people give me. This is the seatbelt in the car with Rihanna.
Starting point is 00:46:11 Oh my. This is what I wore. That's crazy. Wow. At his house? Yeah, dude. Front lawn. You can find out where people like that live. Yeah, but you don't want them showing up.
Starting point is 00:46:28 Yeah, we had a yard sale. That's what you do. Yeah, man. If you're not fucking Chris Brown. Yeah, imagine you. But see, I couldn't do it because I would be browsing, you know, through his stuff. They don't have our size, though. They're like, what is this?
Starting point is 00:46:42 We think too small. Otherwise, it would have stood in line it would probably fit me I'm a fan yeah you could wear it I don't know how tall he is he's probably short he's short
Starting point is 00:46:50 yeah alright ooh neck tat let's see what's up what were they Usher and Chris Brown fighting that doesn't even make sense
Starting point is 00:46:55 probably over herpes it should be a dance off though I agree oh yeah well Chris Brown has an anger problem right but I don't no not anymore
Starting point is 00:47:02 he has a singing problem creating slappers. But, but, well, he's always like throwing a chair or some shit, isn't he? No. How dare you?
Starting point is 00:47:11 When's the last time Chris Brown... When's the last time he threw a chair? I don't know. That's your problem. Nick, Google it. I'm just saying,
Starting point is 00:47:16 when's the last time he got fucking... The media got him. We gotta cut. No, I know he threw a chair. I saw him throw a chair. Like seven years ago. Yeah, okay,
Starting point is 00:47:22 that was the chair one, but there's a bunch of different ones. Just Chris Brown anger issues. Right? Right. He hasn't done something in a hot second, right? I hope so.
Starting point is 00:47:35 Because they tried coming after him when he released his song, and it came out the girl was lying. All right, so that's a while ago. Yeah, that's 2017. There you go. You live in the past, bro. Chris Brown admits he – that's 2013 he admitted he had it. That's 10 years ago. I know, but since then, has shit happened?
Starting point is 00:47:48 I don't know. I don't think so. No, dude. All right, then, good. And you keep running with the narrative. Bro, I like the way he dances. You're not a fan. You're not a fan.
Starting point is 00:47:57 Run it, run it. Wow. Run it, run it. Excuse me. Run it, run it. Can you get a new song, at least? That's like 10 years ago. You're living 10 years ago. You're not a fan. Can you get a new song at least? That's like 10 years ago. You're living 10 years ago.
Starting point is 00:48:07 You're not a fan. I'm not a fan of Chris Brown. Well, there you go. Run it, run it. That was 2005. All right, dude. It's weird that when you push your forehead back, it's still in front. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:48:27 His forehead is like, it's still. He's like, okay. Oh, shit. I don't know any other Chris Brown song than that one. Any of them. I never really loved this music. Forever? The whole time.
Starting point is 00:48:44 Oh. Honestly, like. I couldn't tell you Chris Brown. I don't like so many slap. Good. Kristen loves Chris Brown. Oh, all girls love Chris Brown. Chill. Yeah. Chill. Don't get me wrong. Hey, you know, if your girl goes around Chris Brown. Yeah. Hey, should we cook it?
Starting point is 00:48:59 Should we hold a Chris Brown's hand? Sorry, baby. Sorry. But baby, I'm going to make chicken and broccoli. You Chris Brown's hand? Sorry, baby. Sorry. But baby, I'm going to make chicken and broccoli. You think that's great? Baby, run it, run it on it. What's this gentleman want, Nick? Chris should do it with his nose.
Starting point is 00:49:20 What's up, boys? It's me again. You should talk. Mr. Necktattoo. Yep, we know him. Chris, you need more tats. I do. Sitting in my car.
Starting point is 00:49:29 Bro, put your hand in your head. Having a snack on my lunch break. Pause it. Bro, who fucking eats like that? Put the... This guy goes... His head. What a wacko. You put a hand in your head.
Starting point is 00:49:41 Kind of met it halfway. Sitting in my car. It is weird. Having a snack on my lunch break. Old school car. Having some spicy Genoa salami. Yeah, it's good.
Starting point is 00:49:49 Oh, I love that shit. Got me thinking. Charcuterie question or party question. You guys go to a party or whatever, gathering, whole bunch of foods,
Starting point is 00:49:58 meats, cheeses, pickles, all that shit. I'm getting hungry, bro. Me too. Top three things you're grabbing off that plate. Meats, cheese. Brennan, I know you're're grabbing off that plate. Oh, meat, cheese. Brennan, I know you're probably taking three of everything.
Starting point is 00:50:07 Yes. Yeah. Yeah, what are your top three picks? Chin, too. I know you're probably picking all fish. All right, sis. I love you guys. With the hands.
Starting point is 00:50:15 With the hands. Just fish with the hands. Smoked salmon. Smoked salmon, bro. Hell no. That's crazy. I love salmon. I go for the meat, the brie, and then if they have a nice fig jam,
Starting point is 00:50:26 then the crackers. Knobby, Knobby. You got to put it with olives and pickles? If they're bringing out Sam. Gay. Bro, no. Knobby. Gay.
Starting point is 00:50:36 Knobby. Gay. Knobby. I get the fucking cheese. I get the meats. And, bro, I'll tell you what. That's it. I don't have a third one.
Starting point is 00:50:44 Maybe I'll get the pickles no those are stupid man that hot meat dude the hot meat you gotta get to something like this fast though oh i come to a party too late and i come over to the table and it looks sad you just know everybody's been picking it yeah i leave yeah it's fucking hunger games yeah like i'm not eating fish unless i see it come out, and then you get it right away. A hundred percent. Now, if it's a smoked kind of fish, though,
Starting point is 00:51:09 it's nice. Like a dip. But also, the nuts in the honey, with the cheese, I like shit. I like the cheese in the meats, and that's it. And if the meat's hot,
Starting point is 00:51:21 I don't mean hot, I mean spicy. Oh, I'm hungry right now. Yeah, I know. I'm fucking hungry, dude. We should get a charcuterie board for the next show. Wow, nice try, dude.
Starting point is 00:51:31 Charcuterie? I think you're right. Is there like a charcuterie company? Oh, it's Jokic from Denver. Okay, let's see. He's got a house on his head. That's nice. What's up, everyone?
Starting point is 00:51:39 Brendan, Chris, Eric, Nick, and Chin. My name's Campbell. I'm from New Zealand. And last night night me and my better half sat down watch a comedy movie have a laugh um and it was in the middle of the movie and there was a scene where the uh main guy character and and the girl were having a chat over um whatever they were talking about but anyway the the server walked over and he popped his head up and it was this guy uh oh yeah movie old school and i was like oh shit there's brian kellen and my wife was like who and i was like you know brian from fighter and the kid and she paused for a
Starting point is 00:52:15 second and then she was like oh shit he's so young well um so i thought that was crack up but what it did is that movie kind of like posed a question what are your guys three funniest movies of all time because looking on the list on the internet on Rotten Tomatoes
Starting point is 00:52:31 and stuff like that the list is pretty average so I thought you guys would be good to ask so what are your three funniest comedy movies of all time
Starting point is 00:52:41 much love love the show keep up the good work when I hear him talk now, I just was looking for no titties. You hear my tits go up on the dance set? Is that a Nuggets jersey, Nick? He's New Zealand, so I feel like it's
Starting point is 00:52:55 probably New Zealand date nuts or some shit. What's your three funniest movies? I have two. Swingers. The funniest fucking movie is so funny to me. Come on, it going 1998 bottle rocket is hilarious now you don't know what do you like bro you're dumb that's it no don't wanna I'm done what what are yours bro oh dude watch this shit some fucking watch this
Starting point is 00:53:21 what do you watch this go ahead go ahead trading places oh okay all right well bro what do you know if everything else cop three is it my third no way i'm out that's the worst one i'm out with the tall blonde and then he went to the shooting range come on man go ahead trading places is one of the funniest movies ever okay i i was to me i you could pick i could pick three Eddie Murphy movies that could be in the top three. What? Life's up there. Even though it's dramatic, but life's
Starting point is 00:53:51 fucking funny. Yeah, but it's not one of the best. At all. Dude, Swingers. It's the funniest fucking movie. The Clumps, man. Bro, get out of here. Get the fuck out. That shit is so funny. Coming to America, the first the first one no it's not bro when's the last time
Starting point is 00:54:05 you've seen it I watched that recently I go like this oh this fucking sucks oh my god run it run it Ghostbusters it's funny
Starting point is 00:54:14 pretty funny I'll give it you know you guys went old school with it mine are better they're not though I would
Starting point is 00:54:21 for me I'm gonna get roasted I'd go Happy Gilmore Wedding Crashers crazymore Wedding Crashers Crazy bro Wedding Crashers is No it's not Hilarious
Starting point is 00:54:29 Old school's up there too I'll find you I'll find you These are not good Mine are the best And I know that Happy Gilmore Billy Madison
Starting point is 00:54:38 You didn't find those funny No Wow I agree with me I agree with me You agree with you After all this I agree with me Come I agree with me. You agree with you? After all this, I agree with me.
Starting point is 00:54:45 Come on, man. Come on, dude. This guy made some AI images. Look at this shit. I got a city in my hair. And I believe it's his music playing. Oh. Oh, I look rugged.
Starting point is 00:54:59 Oh shit. Oh damn. Oh. Oh shit. These are dope. these are dope dime piece oh the music dude i by far look the worst out of everyone have you seen the one i feel like yours was the closest wait nick look up this have you seen the ones where like uh uh celebrities change the race of celebrities yeah that by the way i
Starting point is 00:55:30 don't think that's funny i don't think it's good it doesn't look funny to me it doesn't look good it's not crazy well okay go to it go to it oh it's crazy why it's not crazy i haven't seen this this is like a social media trend. Yeah, it looks weird. That looks like Ewan McGregor. This is just different. That is... Oh. That's 50 Cent. Check out Eminem.
Starting point is 00:55:54 That's just the fucking guy. That's Rogan. But that's just... What's his name? That's Ben Affleck. That's so dumb, Kanye. That's so dumb, you know? That's Wesley Snipes.
Starting point is 00:56:07 That's Carrot Top oh damn Tom Hanks that's that's alright bro yeah AI is doing now AI is crazy right AI is crazy
Starting point is 00:56:22 yeah one more alright one more alright one more here we go here we go run it run it I'm eating it
Starting point is 00:56:33 because of the music hey golden hour debate club for you do you get a girlfriend first and then get a job or do you get a job and then a girlfriend
Starting point is 00:56:43 anyway thanks guys you guys are the best I like this guy nice guy straight to the point Get a girlfriend first and then get a job, or do you get a job and then a girlfriend? Anyway, thanks, guys. You guys are the best. I like this guy. Nice guy. Straight to the point. Probably get a job first. Get a job first, yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:52 Chicks dig guys with jobs, you know? Get a job first. You know what? You never know. You never know, but also for you, get a job. That's more important. Of course, but in his scenario, what I'm saying is, here's the thing. What helps what? If he would say, I'm'm saying is here's the thing what helps what
Starting point is 00:57:05 if he would say not i'm not saying the dude's not a good looking dude yeah yeah yeah he's fine looking but he's he he's not brad pitt right yeah brad pitt don't gotta have a job no no no i'm just saying how many girls i just remember so many girls being like what's up with your dude and he's like yeah he's between jobs and shows up he's like, yeah, he's between jobs. And shows up, he's like, hey. Yeah. I'm just saying there's dudes that are just like, no motivation. If Big was cuter, he would not have lived in his car.
Starting point is 00:57:33 A girl, yeah, look. You ought to be hot to be a sugar baby. I had a couple warm bets. The truth comes out. To be a sugar baby? Make him play. A job helps you get a girl. A girl doesn't help you get a job. As a matter of fact, Ah, the truth comes out. To be a sugar baby? Nickel player! A job helps you get a girl.
Starting point is 00:57:48 A girl doesn't help you get a job. As a matter of fact, it does the fucking opposite. So get the job first. I'm fucking... That was good. Or work at a strip club. Get a job. Find a chick first. Yep, do it.
Starting point is 00:57:58 And your life will be great. Your life will be great if you work at a strip club and find a chick there. Your life will be great. I wonder why he came up with that. Is it something he wanted to know for himself? Probably conflicted. Well, how about this? great. If you work at a strip club and find a chick there, your life will be great. I wonder why he came up with that. What? He wanted to know for himself? Probably conflicted. Well, how about this?
Starting point is 00:58:11 If you're just like an average dude, which I'm not, I'm elevated. What kind of girl can you get without a job? If you're hot, you get a sugar mama. So she's older. I could do it. I got the gift of gab, man. And I'm not too bad to look at.
Starting point is 00:58:26 I'm easy on the eyes. Not now, though. I don't have the gift of gab? No, you have the gift of gab, but the look... Yeah, you'd have to have a job now. I look good, bro. Trust me.
Starting point is 00:58:35 I agree with me. I look good. I'm 43. I look fucking... Honestly, I would say for 43, I look banging. If you don't have that success, though... The fact that you have to say 443
Starting point is 00:58:44 means... Yes. Okay, fine. Put me next to a 30-year-old. I still look banging. If you don't have that success though the fact that you have to say 443 means yes. Okay if I'm put me next to a 30 year old I still look banging dude. I go like this to the 30 year old. And the girl goes oh. My wife goes like this
Starting point is 00:58:59 hey Chris you're hotter than ever and I agree with her. She has to say that. Just like you have to say her cooking is good right? Right. Exactly. Nah bro her cooking is good and I agree with her she has to say that nah just like you have to say her cooking's good right right exactly nah bro her cooking is good
Starting point is 00:59:08 and I am hot now I don't believe her cooking's good me neither I don't want to try it now because we don't work for you so we're going to have to come over and see
Starting point is 00:59:14 after this I'm going to look in the mirror just to make sure yeah keep it real dog yeah what's up guys I've been debating this with my friends recently
Starting point is 00:59:20 I think In-N-Out is way better than Five Guys yeah it is that there are people that will swear my friends those are cucks that five guys is better that's dumb get rid of dude it's not it's not in and out is scrumptious and delicious don't say that but yeah in and out's overrated though get out of here know what, dude? I don't like your takes today, man. Hold on. Real quick. He's going to bring up some bullshit one.
Starting point is 00:59:48 What? Have you ever had the Whopper with cheese and ketchup on it from Burger King? You know what, bro? This guy's... I'm done with you. Are you kidding me? A Whopper, bro? A Whopper? Flame broiled.
Starting point is 01:00:00 You know what? With a seeded bun. They come fresh. They're $11. He grew up poor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did. Honestly, dude, I've never been pissed on this podcast.
Starting point is 01:00:13 I'm pissed. Let me tell you something, though. The Whopper, bro. I don't think Five Guys and In-N-Out should even be on the same. Five Guys is more of, it's- I'm pissed, baby! Woo! What's that from?
Starting point is 01:00:25 It's closer to a restaurant than a food place. Because I think there's more things on – I think there's more things on a Five Guys menu. Yeah, I know. Totally. That's going to make the burger better. But if you're just talking about – Five Guys is good.
Starting point is 01:00:40 I'm not knocking Five Guys. Let me just ask you real quick. When's the last time either one of you had a fresh Whopper from Burger King? You're going to hate on it. A long, long, long time ago. What about you, Eric? Years, right? No.
Starting point is 01:00:55 But years. Go there. It fucking slaps, dude. Now, it's $11, which is why they're losing business. It's $11? I spent $40 for me and my brother at Burger King the other day. $40! If I'm going to go-
Starting point is 01:01:07 And you know what? I would have paid $400. You know, if I'm going to go with that, though, if I'm going to do some fast thing, I'd rather get a quarter pounder with cheese. Oh, shit. Yeah. Get In-N-Out. It's way better than all of that shit.
Starting point is 01:01:17 No, that's a sheep thing, dude. No, but not the- In-N-Out's a sheep thing. Not the french fries. The In-N-Out french fries are trash. Get them with cheese on it. It's fine. It's good.
Starting point is 01:01:25 You can't do it fast. No, I'm not getting cheese on French fries. Oh, yeah, because you don't look like a guy that gets cheese on French fries. No, I don't. Oh, my God. So rude. All right, Sam, my forehead is big even if I push it back. Like this? You can do something about the fucking weight.
Starting point is 01:01:44 I can't do anything about this forehead. By the way, I just want my french fries. I don't like chili cheese. Nah, I'm lying. I like chili cheese fries. He caught it. That's it. That's it.
Starting point is 01:01:59 That's it. There he goes. I just want my... Wait, wait. I don't like just cheese. That's so dumb, bro. He likes it worse. I don't like just cheese.
Starting point is 01:02:15 I like chili and cheese. You can't just put cheese on some fries. That's some bitch shit. The cheese compliments to chili The main thing Isn't even the fat thing With him He's like The fat thing
Starting point is 01:02:30 Is on top Of the fucking cheese Oh fuck man That's funny That was fucking great He got himself I love chili cheese Alright bro
Starting point is 01:02:41 That's it man We're out of here Man I'm gonna be So many cities Chris out of here. Man, I'm going to be in so many cities. ChrisDelia.com, dude. Nashville, I'm coming. That's it. That's it. That's it. Thank you.ご視聴ありがとうございました

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