The Golden Hour - Her Face Got A Wagon | The Golden Hour #28 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia
Episode Date: May 12, 2023Erik and Brendan bond over their love for American Idol and the guys talk how their wives cook, Australian girls, hottest accents, the Howard Stern/NBA controversy, celebrities wh...o refuse to age out and much more!
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You know what that's like in, what's that movie, A Quiet Place?
Just play loud music the whole time, you'll be fine.
Just all good.
They go, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Keep them there.
Be quiet, be quiet, don't do that.
And then somebody farts.
We're friends that laugh.
We're friends that shout.
Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about.
But that won't stop us
Nothing can stop us
Cause I can show you used to love
Just rebrand it enough
It's stronger, better, bigger power
Cause it is the golden hour
It's the golden hour.
It's the golden hour.
Rachel watches too much TikTok.
Okay.
Okay.
And she gets like whatever like they, it's like the new.
Jesus Christ.
I used to do that before.
It's the new they said, you know?
Oh, right.
You know what I mean?
You know what they said?
So she like – My mom does it with Facebook, but now it's TikTok with the –
Yeah.
Your mom's old.
Yeah, older people do it.
You know what they say.
It's like somebody said on their fucking status update.
So it's like she got some strawberries.
Uh-huh.
Okay.
She put them in a bowl.
Okay.
With hot ass water.
Is it Tic Tac Challenge or something?
And salt.
Okay.
And then she left them there.
Okay.
And then she said, hey, can the strawberry, don't forget the strawberries.
I went down.
I'm like, you cooked them.
They're now soup.
Is she making a pie?
No.
She just thinks that that's how you're supposed to do it, that you take them out.
Do what?
To clean the strawberries.
Oh, there's a spray for that, lady.
Dude, don't even get me started.
Put it under the water and go like this.
No, it's not enough according to TikTok.
Okay.
So now we have these like, they look like.
Now I got strawberry soup.
They look like you go to the pound and you see those sad dogs.
They look like my nuts on TRT.
They're all shriveled up.
And red.
And mossy.
It's ridiculous.
So now these strawberries are ruined.
Well, that's fine, but it's annoying, but it's fine.
Did you hit her?
No.
Did you go over the strawberries?
Do you believe that?
No, you suggested it.
I don't know.
We know what's going on in your house now.
That's what's happening there.
Don't plug up the strawberries, right?
Yeah, I guess.
It's harder than money.
I just don't –
Does your wife get things from the internet and they go,
we're going to do this?
So my wife, I am so thankful because she's –
now that she had –
we had the second Williams here and she's feeling like, you know.
She started cooking.
Dude, she never really cooked.
She cooked sometimes.
Bro, she's cooking.
Is it bad white girl cooking?
No, she's good, dude.
She just gets it from the internet.
His bone comes out.
You guys just keep doing the show? Yeah. She gets it from the internet and His bone comes out. You guys just keep doing the show?
Yeah.
She gets it from the internet, and she just does it, you know.
Is she doing white girl dishes, though?
Like, you know, like casserole.
What did she do?
She did steak.
She did, you know, she did some pasta.
We did pasta.
Chicken.
She did a chicken piccata.
She's good, man.
She's a good cook.
She cooked for everybody.
We came home from the road last night.
We came home.
She cooked for everybody, and everyone was like, man, this is amazing.
Oh, that's nice.
Yeah, I mean, I'm everyone's boss.
They have to say that.
Yeah, I know.
Everybody's boss.
Your wife's cooking.
Unreal, man.
Just have me come over.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah, have Eric do it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, man, what's the salt up in this bitch?
Everyone's going to be looking just to wait and see it.
I'll, okay.
Okay, not bad.
All right, all right, all right.
For a white, it's not bad
There's nothing worse
If it's bad cooking
I would
I would honestly
I would
I think I would
I would probably tell her
I would be like baby
Let's just order
My girl can cook
But it's only like
I mean authentic Mexican shit
I don't know what it is
It tastes good
Sometimes
Got it
It's not for me
As a white dude
Like it's way too spicy
Oh really
When her grandma's over
I'm like oh there's I bet I'd love it I can't eat this It's too spicy My kids eat white dude. It's way too spicy. Oh, really? When her grandma's over, I'm like, oh, there's –
I bet I'd love it.
I can't eat this.
It's too spicy.
My kids eat it because of Raph.
What do you mean like every day?
How many Mexican dishes can you cook?
There's really just one.
That's what I thought.
After enchiladas.
It's all the same though.
Burritos and tacos.
What are you doing on Thursday?
No, no.
That's what I learned.
I was like, where's the burritos?
Where's the tacos? That's not Mexican. Chili reno. No, bro. That's not. That's what I learned. I was like, where's the burritos? Where's the tacos?
That's not Mexico.
Chili Reno.
Like what?
Oh, no, bro.
They're making all sorts of weird soups.
I came home the other day and they had a cow stomach lining.
What?
I was like, well, daddy works too hard for you to still eat cow stuff.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're not living in the favelas anymore.
And that's.
You don't have to eat the cow tongue either.
Oh, God.
And that's.
I think it's voodoo.
She cooked it? Oh, yeah. So your wife cooks. And that's so... I think it's voodoo. She cooked it?
Oh, yeah.
So your wife cooks.
If she's making cow stomach...
She cooks all the time.
Oh, that's awesome.
It's just stuff I don't eat.
That's why I'm losing weight.
But is it always Mexican food?
Only Mexican food.
Wow.
Well, that's pretty wild.
It is wild.
Oh, I'm a...
Listen, there's 365 days in a year, right?
Even in Mexico, they do.
Even in...
Yeah.
You want pasta?
Yeah, they're like, should we
make some? There's Chinese food
in Mexico, you know? It's a lot of soup.
I'm just saying, how many Mexican dishes
are there to repeat?
Okay, what I'm saying is like, after 45
days, it's like, oh, we're back to enchiladas?
No, flautas. When they make the
flautas. What does she repeat
a lot? Soup, pozole, I guess. Apparently it's aas. When they make the flautas. Yeah. What does she repeat a lot?
Soup.
Pasole, I guess.
Apparently, it's a meal.
To me, it's just, where's the rest of the dish?
Right, right, right.
I can't eat a soup.
I'm a grown man.
I can't have soup for dinner.
But Mexican food is all the same.
That's where you're wrong, white boy.
No, but it's all repurposed.
No, dude.
See, you're thinking.
Nachos is tacos is burritos.
Oh, wow.
That's not Mexican food, dude. I understand. Our Latino audience right now is laughing with me. That's okay. Yeah, you're thinking. Nachos is tacos is burritos. Oh, wow. That's not Mexican food, dude.
I understand.
Our Latino audience right now is laughing with me.
That's okay.
Yeah, he's stupid.
That's fine.
Menudo rojo.
Menudo rojo is my favorite. You see the stuff that looks like honeycombs?
Yeah.
That's actually the lining of a cow's stomach that they eat.
Daddy's on the road too much for you to still eat cow's stomach.
I mean, it's a delicacy.
Is it?
Yeah, if you sleep on bamboo.
Yeah.
Wait, wait.
You think the Mexican audience appreciates this?
Yeah, yeah, really.
Yes.
Yes.
Honeycomb tripe is the most geometrically beautiful of all four of a cow's stomach.
Okay.
It's disgusting.
But how's it taste, though?
And it smells.
Smells in the house.
I'm like a refugee in my own house, man.
It's a disaster Well you know
That's your life now
So there you go
Andle andle
Yeah I'll be in Nashville
I'll be in Pennsylvania
I'll be in Colorado
I'll be in Salt Lake
I gotta
Oh you're in Pueblo
Colorado
You can get
You can get that weird suit there
Yeah I'm gonna get
Shot up in Pueblo
Are you gonna try
Cal's stomach suit
No I won't
I won't
But anyway Go to chrislea.com Got some. But anyway, go to chrislea.com.
Got some dates in Canada.
So go to chrislea.com.
Get tickets.
Where are you going to be?
La Jolla or some shit?
Wow.
You're going to do that casino like two hours away?
Were you going to say it like that?
What is that?
Oh, my God.
Just go to chrislea.com.
I'm going to start putting my dates on your website.
We just put our dates on his because he put. People will be like, oh, I think Eric Griffin is going to start putting my dates on your website. We just put our dates on his.
People will be like, oh, I think Eric Griffin is going to be.
Wait.
I got nothing in May, but June, Huntsville.
Oh, you're going to be in Huntsville?
Yeah, and then I'm going to be in Nashville.
You're at the Ice House with me next Friday, May 19th.
I'm going to be in Utah then.
Jeff Dye, Sam Tripoli.
You're supposed to do it.
You can't do it.
Eric Griffin,
we got a dope lineup.
8 o'clock show at the Ice House.
And Greg Potter.
Yep, that's right.
I love Greg.
And then first week of June,
I am in La Jolla,
comedy story, son of a bitch.
Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
And then June 15th,
the Europe trip starts.
I was going to ask about that.
It starts in Glasgow.
And I'm not going.
London, Manchester.
Oh, you're not?
Yeah.
It's just too short of notice.
Yeah, we should have just planned it ahead of time.
I want to do that.
I got an Australian one I'm putting on sale soon.
Australia's so fun.
You did it.
Yeah, you did it.
Yeah.
Like seven years ago.
Have you done Australia?
No.
It's good.
It's an interesting...
It's interesting.
It's weird.
It's like you fall asleep and dream about America, and it's just like a little bit different. You know what I'm saying? You've done it before? Yeah. Yeah, it's weird. It's like you fall asleep and dream about America, and it's just like a little bit different.
You know what I'm saying?
You've done it before.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's great.
It's not what you think either.
It's not, no.
You just feel like you're in a cleaner America.
Cleaner America, white people with accents,
and then tons of Asians.
And nobody in Australia doesn't have tattoos.
It's crazy how many tattoos people in Australia have.
And there's no ugly girls there either.
Some in the water.
The koalas have herpes though.
Chlamydia.
Chlamydia, that's right.
The one I had had herpes.
Yeah, the girls were hot in Australia,
except they see them like this.
So that's a demerit.
Is it?
Is it going?
Yeah.
Oh, damn.
Look at this chick.
Hello.
Is it going?
You like the way the titties go up on the down step?
You're so stupid.
He's so fucking stupid.
And they call seafood bugs.
Oh, that's terrible, dude. Like crabs Seafood Bugs Oh that's a terrible
Like crabs and lobster
Like you want a side of bug
I'm like absolutely not
Yeah
You wanna eat a fucking bug
Yeah
Eat a bug
They're right though
They are bugs
That's fucking good
Bugs of the sea
Eat that shit
You fucking asshole
Fucking eat it
I'll see you later
These go up on the downswing
Titties go up on the downswing
How big are these titties
Yeah
It's the girl that called in
They're so big.
Australian women are so hot, and then they're all tatted up.
So they're just like, oh, my titties are all tatted up.
Just dancing on the dance step.
So they're not hitting her chin at all?
No, because she dodges.
Would you rather deal with an Australian accent or a British?
Well, British, I think, can be very hot.
Here's the one, though.
What's your P's and Q's?
Australian or Boston?
Boston chick is crazy weird.
Hotta.
Maybe so hot,
but then she's just like,
aw.
You know what I mean?
You're like,
I don't like it.
Eric.
You know,
I got a fat cock.
Yeah.
Hey, Patreon.
What's up?
We got a new channel.
We got to do Patreon.
We have Patreon, dude.
We've been having Patreon, and it is patreon.com slash the golden hour podcast.
Patreon.com.
What do they get, though, bro?
The golden hour podcast.
Two extra episodes per month.
Two?
Two extra episodes, guys.
Ad free?
Ad free.
And the real important part is our Patreon guys, members, have a chance to zoom in and talk to us.
You get 12 episodes already available right now.
Only Patreon.
Patreon only episodes.
12.
Patreon.com slash thegoldenhourpodcast.
Come get you some, Patreones.
Oh, you know, the King and Queen were on American Idol the other night.
You watched it?
Yeah.
What?
Yeah.
They were?
Welcome to the club. What did they do? I love American Idol. What night. You watched it? Yeah. What? They were? Welcome to the club.
What did they do?
I love American Idol.
What'd you do?
Still?
Are you kidding me?
We don't talk about American Idol?
Still?
I can't believe this.
Hit the showers.
I can't believe the three people that they kicked off.
Yeah, me neither.
Unreal, dude.
And the redhead?
I know who's going to win now.
Me too.
Who do you got?
That kid.
The country kid.
Yeah. It's okay. Hands down, he's going to win now. Me too. Who do you got? That kid. The country kid. Yeah.
It's okay.
Hands down, he's going to win.
All day.
Because that's what they do.
That's what they do.
They want to make money.
Country music.
I'm surprised that the country guy with the beard got kicked off.
It's okay.
I wasn't.
When they start going.
And that young girl, she was great.
That's all good, man.
You know who else could maybe win?
Is the little country girl.
Oh, yes.
She's great. She's special. That's okay. But they don't like the fat guy? No chance. It's good, man. Oh, you know who else could maybe win is the little country girl. Oh, yes. She's great.
That's okay.
But they don't like, the fat guy, no chance.
It's okay, man.
The Hawaiian guy, he's so good.
Sounds the same every time.
Hit the shower.
Don't worry about it, man.
The last fat guy to win was Ruben Stutter.
They just don't do it.
Sorry, 2000 or whatever.
Because you can't make money off of him.
Yeah.
Don't even worry about it.
He's great, though.
That kid is great.
Oh, I love him.
And his story with his dad.
I heard he's a dick.
Yeah.
That show makes me cry. All the time. Yeah. Taylor Hicks. Eric. That kid is great. Oh, I love him. And his story with his dad. I heard he's a dick. That show makes me cry.
All the time.
Yeah.
Taylor Hicks.
Hey, Rick.
I had no clue.
Yeah, all the time.
Taylor Hicks, huh?
Me and Rick Glassman.
Rick Glassman's another one that we'll hit each other up.
I'll be like, you crying?
Oh, put me in that group chat.
Dude, I don't miss.
Dude, I shut things down.
I record it so I can watch it.
He just doesn't even listen to music.
Wait, wait.
He don't listen to music. So he's not going to listen to somebody else singing somebody else's song. Because it's bad. And he doesn I can watch it. He just can't even listen to music. Wait, wait. He don't listen to music.
So he's not going to listen to somebody else singing somebody else's song.
Because it's bad.
And he doesn't listen to it.
To be loved.
Oh, what a feeling to be loved.
I would make it to Hollywood.
You wouldn't make it to Hollywood.
No, you would be like this.
That was terrible.
And your mom would be outside.
He always sings to us.
Sorry, I do.
My mom says I sound like Brian McKnight remember that guy
I used to love that guy
that guy my family says I sound like Brian McKnight
and dude after that
do you know that one bro pull up that clip
my family says I sound like Brian McKnight
dude it's so bad
it's so bad
and he can't sing at all
the only thing I was missing really is there isn't anybody like, I don't want to say mean,
but I want to say they keep it 100.
That's my critique every single time.
They don't keep it 100 now?
Yeah, they don't.
Everything's too positive.
No, it's Katy Perry, who's great.
Lionel Richie and Luke Bright.
Luke Bright.
Oh, of course they don't keep it real.
They need Eric on there.
Oh, that's what we need.
Yeah, I would have that.
Wait, weren't you annoyed by that?
It's okay, man.
Trista.com.
Weren't you annoyed by that?
Trista.com.
Because you wanted the oops, right?
You wanted the oops, and you got the...
After this era, people started going on the show to be funny.
That's when I checked out. Do you understand what I'm saying? No, no, no. But again, though, I had a buddy the show to be funny. That's when I checked out.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
No, no, no.
But again, though, I had a buddy of mine.
Register it.
Take it in.
Register it.
I know.
I'm going to say, but I had a buddy of mine that got on there.
Yeah.
And there is an element of that.
Right.
But there's so many levels.
But, you know, they take the-
Yeah, I know.
The top 25 don't fuck around.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Especially this.
Once you get into it, this is one of the best talent, most talented.
They're so talented. How many years? How many years? 20 something years. Yeah, yeah. Especially this. Once you get into it, this is one of the best most talented. They're so talented.
How many years?
20 something years?
To be alive.
They had a couple stops
and then that would move
from Fox to ABC.
Oh.
Yeah.
You remember that,
what is it,
Sinjaya?
Remember Howard Stern
thought it would be funny
to troll American Idol
and have his fan base
vote for that kid
to get him to the next level
and he can't sing?
So this kid,
because of Howard Stern back in the day, this is howard stern was in a woke fuck back in the
day when he was like pushing his audience was kept voting for the kid and the kid kept beating legit
people american i was like we gotta do something about this man well i mean it is that that to me
that legitimized that the vote was real yeah howard stern isn't he involved in something right
now where he was mad at some football players or something like that?
Howard Stern?
Yeah.
He said he was courtside of the Knicks game and he was pissed that the players only came up to.
Oh, he says because he's not black.
Yeah, they came up to like, I can't remember who was on sidelines, but only black stars.
And he said, because I'm white, the players won't talk to me.
No, no, here's the point.
Nobody knows you.
You're a dinosaur.
If it's 1994, they would say, what's up?
Patrick Ewan would say, what's up?
It's not very woke.
But he's still huge, no?
Who'd they go up to?
No.
Who'd they go up to?
What do you mean?
If they went up to famous black people, okay.
Like Spike Lee's there, it's the Knicks.
Spike Lee's not.
They went to Chris DiStefano.
Oh, Tracy Morgan was one.
You made that up, okay. You made that up.
Okay.
I made that up.
Tracy Morgan, no, yeah.
Yeah, but Tracy Morgan, like Spike Lee is, if you are a fan of the Knicks,
you know who Spike Lee is from being a Knicks fan. Yeah, yeah, I know.
Also, why is that even news?
Who gives a shit that he said that?
Go up.
What's a, J.R. Smith reveals why black and blue won't acknowledge
how his turn at Magic.
Oh, well, why is it?
Because they're young.
Is that what he said, though?
No, I'm telling you that's what it is.
No, I understand.
They don't know who he is.
But all this stuff with –
so obviously like Strathmore and Chris Rock.
Chris Rock, yeah, they know who he is.
For those young kids, they're 23, 24.
His heyday is way past.
But also Howard Stern and the same thing happened with Jimmy Kimmel.
They used to be so crazy, right?
Like crazy with women, and they'd have porno stars on and do all that crazy shit.
And then once the cancel culture started coming, they're like, oh, shit, we have such a bad past.
We better rep hard for the other side or we're going to get canceled.
So that's what they do.
Yeah. Oh, they do. Yeah.
Oh, gotcha.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, it just happens, man.
Like, that happens to everyone.
How old is Howard Stern anyway right now?
That's what I'm saying, man.
It's like, you know what?
People just don't know how to age gracefully.
People don't know how to, like, when people get a certain level of fame, especially
big fame, they don't know how to let it go.
Yes.
You know what I mean?
Look at Madonna.
Madonna's, like, going, like, she's going crazy.
That bitch got a wagon, though.
It doesn't matter, though, because her face is a wagon.
You know what I mean?
Like, it's just, it's sad.
Or it's being ran over by a wagon.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Face got ran over.
No, but it's like, you know, but part of me understands that this thing of like, listen,
there are very few people that are famous by one name.
Right.
Okay?
It's like Jesus.
Cher.
Cher.
Madonna.
Hitler.
Okay, well, that's a little bit of an infamous thing.
Yeah.
But I'm just saying, so she's like. I'd say Hillary.
Because I heard her say, she had this thing where she goes, like women over 45 aren't celebrated.
First of all, you're 64.
Right, right, right.
So we already have some delusional stuff going on right there.
Say women over 60.
Yeah, you know what I mean?
Because there's some at 45 who celebrate.
No, no, but she's not using the right word.
Celebrated.
She's the most celebrated female artist of all time.
If she went and did a concert right now, it would sell out.
People would come with the cone titties.
Yeah.
You know, people would be like jamming.
Old ladies.
Yeah.
She's that famous.
Okay.
She don't mean celebrated.
What does she mean?
She means.
Relevant.
Relevant and people want, nobody wants to smash.
Right.
Well, she has that young boyfriend. That is what it means. Yeah. and nobody wants to smash. Right.
Well, she has that young boyfriend.
That is what it means, yeah.
That's what it means.
Yeah, nobody wants to smash.
Nobody wants to smash.
Well, this young man does.
He's young as fuck.
25, 27?
You stayed Amber Rose?
Why I know this?
I don't know.
So is she grooming him?
You know what I mean?
If this was the opposite, think how mad people would be.
Well, yeah, of course.
But here's the thing, man.
That dude sell out.
Yeah, but it's like a lot of young dudes like older women.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There are dudes that do. You know, there are dudes that are like, is this going to last?
Who knows?
It doesn't even matter.
Hey, my thing is this.
Do you, girl.
Yeah, yeah.
But don't act like it's okay to age out of this.
It's okay to age out of this right it's okay i always say like when you're like a hot famous woman you're like a professional athlete yeah 38 comes and you got
the window but you know what i'm saying what i mean it was like it's like you had your time
and it's a great run just because people don't look at you the same way they looked at you
When you were 22
But she found a guy that does
Yeah but 64 is old
She has 6 kids
She does?
Older than him
You know Lionel Richie
I think his girlfriend and wife is like 32
He's 70
I don't give a fuck
Wow
All night long All night 32? He's 70? I don't give a fuck. Wow.
All night long. All night.
All night.
All night.
I don't do duets.
Wait, this isn't a duet.
We're backing you up.
You know what I'm saying?
All night.
All right, cool.
You don't do du saying? You went to all night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's cool. That's cool. Okay. All right. Cool. Sounds good.
Climbing in the street.
All right.
All right. All right.
That sounds good.
You don't do duets?
I don't.
Why not?
So what would you do?
You would be doing Beauty and the Beast and you would just wait, let the music play.
I do all the parts.
Then you would come in.
Like the clubs.
The switches.
Like the clubs.
So you couldn't do endless love?
Yeah.
Like Nutty Professor.
What's this?
What do you got?
That would be funny.
Hell yeah.
It would be great.
I always wanted to do that.
You take, like, the filter.
This is the guy who did the...
Yeah.
Yeah, this is from at Blessed Designed, David.
We can open this as we're playing this.
Yeah, it's right there.
That's what that is.
Okay, cool.
Let's open it.
Yeah.
So that's just him painting it, and that's the painting.
Name a better theme song in podcasting.
Can't.
Riffin' with Riffin'.
A lot of people copy, though, right?
Social media promoter tours.
Dinner, why?
Golden hour.
Here we go. Here it is.
The guy who sings that is from that show Jury Duty.
What's this?
Guy just put that in there.
That's good. Wow.
Let's see.
All right, there's a bunch of stickers and stuff in here that I think he's trying
to self promote.
Cool, that's good.
Let's go to- He wrote something here self promote. Oh cool that's good. He wrote something here.
What up golden boys.
Wanted to create this piece as a huge thank you for all.
Here we go let's do it again.
How does that look Nick on the thing?
Looks good.
What up golden boys. Wanted to create
this piece as a huge thank you for
all the laughs you've brought into my
home. I'm a single dad. the laughs you've brought into my home.
I'm a single dad.
I'm two supporting us with my art.
And I've been sober for 13 months.
And laughter and your comedy has helped me a lot on the tough days.
Damn, that's cool.
It's a really long message, so I won't read the whole thing. Okay, cool.
But, bro, thank you and good luck.
Yeah, thank you.
And so check out what's his name?
So talented.
It's at blessed design
B-L-E-S-T
blessed design
at blessed design
you talented son of a bitch
yeah that's amazing
that's so cool
oh man
Chris is my favorite
what's that part say
no on the back
it was like
Brent is the only reason
I pay attention to the show
oh man
cool
you didn't have to write that
I don't think it said that
no he doesn't have to write that
damn that is sick it's definitely going to fall that's alright it's okay I'll hit. No, you don't have to write that. Damn, that is sick.
It's definitely going to fall.
That's all right.
It's okay.
I'll hit him in the head and we'll laugh.
I'll hit him in the head and we'll laugh.
That's great, dude.
Thanks so much.
That's so cool, man.
It's cool how you put all the wrinkles on my face.
Fuck yeah, dude.
Yeah, well, you're getting older.
Christian's like a Tate brother.
Andrew Tate, you're saying?
Yeah.
Does he have a brother?
Yeah.
Oh, really? I didn't know that. You just look weird. Yeah, you look a little bit. All right, well, you're saying yeah does he have a brother yeah oh really I didn't know that
you just look weird
yeah you look like
you're a bit
alright well
you're saying
splash of the downs
I look weird
splash of the downs
on that picture
no dude
you don't really look like that
he killed it
I know it's great
no it's good
but your face is a little
I mean it doesn't look like us
but it's great
it's good dude
I look like Osama Bin Laden
that's okay
that's definitely me
or he killed it you got my likeness man Eric's is definitely the best yeah yeah like Osama Bin Laden. That's okay. That's definitely me. Or he killed it.
You got my likeness, man. Eric's is definitely the best.
Yeah, he did kill Eric,
but that's because Eric has the most regular face.
Yeah, it's easy to draw.
He gave Eric a flat top.
We're interesting.
So, so us.
We're interesting.
A regular face?
I have a regular face.
Okay.
My shit is fucking crazy wild.
All right.
You have a bullshit face.
He looks like that guy that voted off American Idol.
Where's the beanies?
Eric Griff from Brendan Shaw.
What's going on, Golden Hour?
Brendan, you might recognize me.
I've called King of the Sting a couple times.
I was that 400-pounder putting a little buffalo trace in his eggnog.
You know what I mean?
Down 220 pounds.
George wants some.
He can come get it.
He's got a good voice.
My real question here is Chris has done this on his show.
You guys don't do it that much.
But I just want to know, what the bitch is it?
Okay?
What the bitch is it to grab that fucking basket from Target?
One item, three items, or the fucking whole store, you just get the cart.
Yeah.
Let me know, Golden Hour.
Love the show.
Peace. Congrats, brother. Congrats on the weight the way yeah yeah that's great dude he lost a whole yeah keto george fuck you up
but whatever oh well uh so the the basket yeah it's it's definitely more bitch with the basket
you know hold it hold it like that but like i would i would say though that um i don't know
you think just get the cart i think just get the cart? I think just get the cart. Sometimes it's just a lot.
And sometimes the carts are farther away.
No, it depends on, like, if I'm going to the store by myself, I might grab a basket because I know I'm only going to get two or three things and I'm out.
Make it quick.
But then just grab two or three.
If I'm with Rachel, if I grab the basket, next thing you know, I'm like, what are you doing?
She's like, I need.
And then I'm like, now I got to go get two carts.
Does Calvin like to ride in the carts, though?
Because now I have to get carts because Tiger Bossy, it's a fucking ride.
You know, we haven't put him in one of those in a while.
But Kristen will be like, just get a basket.
We'll get a basket, and then she'll fill it up.
I'm like, I got to go get a fucking cart now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, she tries to play it like we're not going to get.
No, but yeah, but I'm saying.
Right by point.
And then you're like, what the? Am I a waitlister? Right, right're like what am i right right right right it's so heavy that's i feel it up like
yeah like this i can't believe this thing can hold all this shit yeah i'll put coke oh you
in the good ones with the you know it has the wheels on it yeah but then there's not the car
that's some whole shit that's like the motorcycles with the big ass back and the shit and like two
tires in the back yeah it's like dude like dude, just get the fucking, no,
no,
no.
I don't even like,
when's the last time
you even went to the market?
We went the other day.
We go,
because Kristen cooks.
Yeah,
so does my girl.
I have to go all the time
and ask for random Mexican shit.
They're like,
bitch,
it's Whole Foods.
Your girl doesn't cook?
No.
No.
She doesn't,
and we talked about this yesterday.
She cooks strawberries.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We should have put some chicken in it.
What are you cooking right here?
Yeah.
Now she's all like, why work?
Right, right.
I actually like to cook.
I feel like you can cook.
That's how it was in my family growing up.
My family origin.
My dad would cook.
Well, you say family origin instead of family because family now is my kids and my wife.
But family origin is my dad and my mom, dude.
Family origin.
Your dad did all the cooking?
Your family origin.
You're saying it like you're Batman.
That's right.
Well, it's very cool to say it that way
but you know what I mean
but it also sounds a little bit more like Batman.
And your daddy was a good cook?
My family of origin
and my father
and my family of origin
was the cook, yeah.
And your daddy cooked what?
Wasn't he busy as shit?
What's your mom doing?
My mom will cook sometimes.
Does your mom work?
No.
She will cook sometimes.
My dad liked to cook.
He would come in here and make some pasta.
My dad is like, hey, you make the fucking, you know.
And his mom was a terrible cook.
Well, no, she wasn't terrible.
She would just not.
She didn't care about it.
She just made like chicken and broccoli and shit, you know.
So she was.
All right.
You know.
My dad.
That's what it is.
But it was good.
My dad would cook hamburger helper.
Like we grew up on hamburger helper.
Look, during the pandemic, that was what I was doing.
Gotcha.
I was just like, what would you make?
I would get these meal kits that would come.
Then I would do it on Instagram.
This guy's microwaving shit.
He's microwaving shit.
No, no, no.
It's the one where they give you the ingredients to cook.
Yeah, he microwaves it.
I wasn't microwaving.
My dad was cooking a lot, too. I had Postmates. I'm done with you, too. cook. Yeah, microwaves. I wasn't microwaving. I was cooking a lot, too.
I had Postmates.
Oh, I'm done with you, too.
I'd open the bag up.
Was it one of our sponsors?
I can't remember.
No, no, no.
There's so many food ones.
Was it HelloFresh?
Yeah.
Yeah.
There you go.
There you go.
There you go.
You picked up on it, Doug.
Yeah, I don't know. I don't cook. I can grill. I can grill my ass. Not me, dude. You don't have the patience to cook. There you go. There. You picked up on it, Doug. Yeah, I don't know.
I don't cook.
I can grill.
I can grill my ass off.
Not me, dude.
You don't have the patience to cook.
That's why.
A hundred percent.
But also, I eat so quick.
It's like, dude, I fucking did that for an hour, and then it took two or three minutes.
With the family, bro.
No, when you cook.
When you cook.
Yeah.
Okay, I remember this happening.
I was cooking a lot during the pandemic, and I enjoyed it.
Actually, it was healthier.
I was losing weight.
Yeah, it's definitely healthier.
And then the restaurants opened up again for a hot second,
and then we went to like Morton's, and I didn't enjoy it.
You know what?
I was like, ugh.
I didn't like the experience.
I was sitting there just waiting, and I was like, you know what?
I like what I'm doing at home.
And now I got this great Traeger
grill. Oh, those are dope. The smoker.
Yeah, there you go. Oh, man.
Shout out to them because they sent it to me.
We got to do a barbecue with everyone. Have you guys
over at the crib. You and I grill.
Yeah, let's get some grill in there. I'll make a weird peanut butter
and jelly fucking burger or whatever you want.
Oh, that's great. That's not weird. That's delicious.
That's weird for me, man. I'll eat a burger. I also eat
cow stomach, so what are you talking about? I'll eat a fucking burger. I'll eat that burger. I'll eat the fucking burger. That's not weird. That's delicious. It's weird for me, man. I'll eat a burger. I also eat cow stomach, so what do I know?
What are you talking about?
I'll eat a fucking burger.
I'll eat that burger.
I'll eat the fucking burger.
We'll do that.
Go to public school, that restaurant.
It's great.
They have a peanut butter and jelly burger.
Public school's great.
Yeah.
Get it there.
It's a great burger.
I'll have that conversation not on the podcast.
So anyway, that's the list.
Fair point.
Fair point.
We have to hear about Your mom's terrible cooking
And now
You said she cooked terrible
I said she made chicken and broccoli
You co-signed it
I don't trust your
Judging on cooking though
Everyone's good cook now
Your wife
You're so right
My wife's good
His dad's a good cook
His mom's a good cook
Everyone
His wife's a good cook
Calvin's a good cook
You know what I mean
Calvin loves to pretend to cook
I tell you that much
Suspect dude I don't know what to tell to cook. I'll tell you that much. Suspect, dude.
I don't know what to tell you, man.
I'll tell my girl. Too much salt.
What are we doing here? We'll put more salt.
I'm into the salt, dude.
That drives us nuts.
My palate is fucking ridiculously cool, man.
My palate is crazy good.
From the back of my throat to the front of it,
my palate is crazy. You have to taste something
first, and then if you need salt. That's what pisses me off about you. I'm like to get the back of my throat to the front of it, dude. My palate is crazy. You have to taste something first, and then if it needs salt.
That's what pisses me off about you.
I'm like Minority Report with the salt.
I know it needs salt beforehand.
I check with the precogs, and they go, put salt on it.
In the water, just chilling.
And then they go.
Can I ask you something?
Oh, boy.
Here we go.
Fact check it.
You fucking dork.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Can we dork out for a second here?
You know what pisses me off about Minority Report?
Okay.
If you get fired from your job, you know what they do?
What?
They change the locks.
In Minority Report?
No, I'm just saying in general.
Oh, in real life.
Got it.
Okay, yeah.
They change the locks, right?
Right, right, right.
Why is his eye security still working that he can get into places?
Nothing is more Eric.
Fair point, though.
Like, to the point where his wife got him out of jail with his eye security at the end
of the movie.
Like, that's stupid.
Yeah, it is stupid.
But you know what that's like?
In, what's that movie, A Quiet Place?
Just play loud music the whole time.
You'll be fine.
Just all good.
They go, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, fuck it.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Keep them there.
Be quiet, be quiet.
Don't do that.
And then somebody farts.
Just play fucking loud music.
You fart all day long.
You're safe.
Imagine if you're just, you're that person.
You're like, I'm trying to, it starts.
You're like, oh no.
This is all.
If you rip a real bad one, they go.
And run away.
This is all Minority Report needed.
Yep.
Here's a scene they needed.
Okay, what?
A guy's got a box.
You know, he's in the elevator.
And someone goes, hey, Tom, what's going on?
He was like, I forgot to turn off his eye security.
Right.
And then you're like, oh, okay.
That makes sense.
That makes sense.
Ah, fuck, I didn't turn off his eye security. It's me're like oh okay that makes sense that's true i didn't
turn off his eye security it's me it's right it's will ferrell it's will ferrell yeah oh
uh wait so the takeaway is i need to change the lock to the thick boy studio let's see yeah yeah
let's see what yes yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Let's go to girl Chris here.
Girl Chris.
It's Daria.
What's up, Golden Hour?
This is Stephanie coming to you from North Carolina.
I was just calling in with a debate club topic.
How do you guys feel about couples who sit on the same side of the table or in the same booth when you go out to eat for dinner?
I enjoy it.
Personally, I find it a bit creepy,
but was just curious as to what you guys think.
You guys don't love each other.
You guys do.
Chris, I'll see you when you come to North Carolina
in August.
I'll be in Charlotte.
Buzz, buzz, soar.
Woo, woo, woo.
Woo, woo, woo.
Chris, this is.com Charlotte.
What?
Rachel loves that shit.
Sit in the same...
Yeah.
I always sit across.
I like it, but...
But this is the thing.
We'll sit. Then when the food comes, I'm like, Rachel. Yeah, yeah always sit across. I like it. But this is the thing. We'll sit.
Then when the food comes, I'm like, Rachel.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Get on your side.
Okay, go over there.
Because I can't.
My elbows.
Yeah, I get it.
You know what I mean?
I like to.
When I eat, I like to be.
You know what I'm saying?
Do you?
Yeah.
I like it.
I'm like, scoot over, bitch.
I scoot in.
Interesting.
Yeah.
When it's just you and her.
Oh, yeah.
Cozy up.
He's a.
You got some hoes, man.
Big, soft, romantic. I don't not do it. I'm just. I do. We do. You got some hoes, man. Big, soft, romantic over here.
I don't not do it.
I'm just, I do, we do, I think we do do it sometimes,
but I think when the food comes, for sure, we're face-to-face.
I don't think it's creepy.
It's not creepy.
How about this?
I like to sit like this.
Like, okay, if this is the table, you sit like this.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, so I don't sit across.
I might sit.
You'll be closer.
What's that all about?
You need space.
You're going to finish that seat?
No. That's the seat You're going to finish that seat? No.
That's the seat you're going to finish at?
You're so dumb.
You can just go.
You can just go.
I'll cross way like this.
It's too cumbersome.
I'll do the other one.
Yeah, it's harder because there's always some dumb shit in the middle of the table.
And your girl doesn't finish her food?
Never.
Never. No, never. So you know your girl doesn't finish her food? Never. Never.
And she's like, you know.
No, never.
So you know when she orders.
She can't be unsupervised.
You know, like if I let her, like if I just let her order, I'm going to come back to the
table and it's going to be burgers, pizza.
You know what I mean?
My wife does that shit too now.
A rack of lamb is going to be going like, what is, why?
Where'd you get this board?
Why did you do this?
Where'd you get this VC off?
It's not even food.
I'll just be like this.
She's like, well, I just thought, you know.
That's what she does.
So I just like.
A rack of land.
You know?
So then, you know, I just, sometimes I won't even order something.
I'll just order something small because I know.
But here's the thing.
This is Rachel's like this, though.
When the food first comes.
Yeah.
I know she's not going to finish it.
But I can't.
I know.
I know. I'm waiting. I'm like, oh, fuck. Like, I can't get in because she's like, I'm getting food. Yeah. I know she's not going to finish it, but I can't. I know. I know.
I'm waiting.
I'm like,
fuck.
I can't get in
because she's like,
I'm getting food.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I have to wait for her
to just be like this.
Like vultures.
I'm full.
Yeah.
When she goes,
I'm full.
That's when I'm like.
Eric's all,
I'm waiting on a diving board.
The cookie monster.
It's like Scrooge McDuck.
Dude.
The Kool-Aid man.
With the coins.
You and your old school
references today.
Minority Report.
Scrooge McDuck.
Scrooge McDuck.
Old school.
I've been studying up
on my old stuff
for new, you know.
Material.
Yeah.
So you can go on Stern.
Yeah.
I did.
What was the, what was I just talking about? You were just talking about food. Fuck it. What was the
just talking about? You were just talking about food.
Fuck it. You would go on Stern though, right?
If he calls, I gotta have you on.
When I did that,
my joke about Chris Rock and Will Smith
a year ago, he
put it on his show.
And I've been on the after show
many times. I did the after show.
Yeah, I like Howard Stern, but I'm just saying that's a ridiculous thing to say.
You did the after show?
I think I did.
I think I did it with Dave Navarro.
In New York.
How weird is that?
Dave Navarro fucks, dude.
Dave Navarro is cool because he had his phone.
I looked over his phone.
No text messages.
He opened the text field, and he got a text, and he goes, checked it, and deleted it. Like, had no text messages on his phone text field and he got a text and he goes checked it and deleted it
like
had no text messages
on his phone
he wants no
it was hilarious
I was like
god damn dude
did he have eyeliner on
yeah
hell yeah
well that's how you have to do it
you either delete all of them
right right right
yeah
I've never seen anyone do that
but
I wonder what Dave does now
just be having money right
doesn't he have money
just his big dick
and tattoos didn't he always have like the hot chicks carmen electro oh yeah dude he's known for
it yeah but how old is he now yeah that's what i'm saying he was cool he's a good guy he still
got how old is he i don't know maybe not dude you know you never know though people are quietly like
he might have invested in some shit yeah he's young. You know who I feel for?
When I see the Backstreet Boys in that commercial
where the girl's like,
why is this so important?
And they're like, tell me why!
I don't know it.
You know they need money.
It's funny though when she goes, okay, bye.
He's like, that's not us.
Yeah, but when you do commercials now,
tell me why.
I always know it's over for people when I see
them at the halftime show of basketball games
oh like Ja Rule or some
shit yeah man
this is it
you gotta get rid of this
tell me why
cause it stinks
tell me why I don't know I've watched it
so many times tell me why
no you tell me why I can't get rid of this odor.
Richie Savage.
Have you tried new downy rich and refresh?
It doesn't just cover up odors.
It helps remove them three times.
Wait, this is my favorite part.
Let's get to the end.
I guess the odor went bye-bye.
Nope.
That's not us.
Sorry.
That's funny.
That's funny.
Yeah, that's funny.
A little NSYNC reference there.
Chris is angry. It's not good. Did you get it? It's not a good commercial. It's not funny. I know, but that's what that's funny yeah that's funny a little NSYNC reference there Chris is angry
it's not good
did you get it
it's not a good commercial
it's not funny
I know but that's what we're saying
it's sad
it's sad
that part is funny
what are you talking about
but they got fucked over
by their manager
it's not funny
it was funny
that part was funny
I enjoyed it
come on
it's charming
you know what
it's cute
it's over his head
it's over my head
you know what it is
when I saw Justin Timberlake
I said that to him you know what that this commercial was bad no no no when I. It's over his head. It's over my head. You know what it is? When I saw Justin Timberlake, I said that to him.
You know what?
That this commercial's bad?
No, no, no.
I saw him at the Laugh Factory.
Were you there that same night?
Yeah, yeah.
And I walked by, and he was like, hey.
I was like, oh, man, is it okay if I say bye, bye, bye?
Yeah, yeah.
Did he go like this?
That's why he said to me afterwards, I hate Eric Griffiths.
Yeah.
I was at Monster Jam with Jessica Biel.
She is.
Is there anyone?
I mean, she is so attractive.
You know where she's from, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, bro.
Yeah, yeah, you guys know where she's from, right?
That doesn't mean you're hotter.
No, we're the same.
It's in the water.
It's the Colorado water.
No.
She's a Colorado kid.
There's a lot of monsters in Colorado, too, dude.
Yeah, bro, particularly.
I've never seen them.
I've never seen them.
Because you're not there anymore.
You left because of all the monsters.
I did go back last week, though.
You did.
Yeah, you did. How was it? It was left because of all the monsters. I did go back last week. You did.
How was it? It was cool.
There's some monsters.
Tell me why. Backstreet Boys story is sad because he got fucked over by that man.
Yeah, we know, man. Stop bringing that up, man.
We heard you the first time. We don't want to talk
about that, man.
Yeah, they fucked him over with the manager, right?
Yeah, there you go.
And then Nick Carter,
his whole family dying and shit. It's sad.
I didn't know about that.
I actually didn't know that Backstreet Boys were super famous in Europe
before they blew up in Massa.
Tell me why.
Downy Russian.
Ain't nothing but a heartache.
They were big in Europe.
The gay one and Lance Bass still look good.
You know what I mean?
Lance Bass is the gay one.
That's the joke.
But anyway, Justin and him still look good.
These other three, man.
Joey Fatone is the best looking one.
Joey Fatone kind of looks good, too.
He looks good, too.
Yeah, but he's up and down. You went Broadway. Joey Fatone kind of looks good too. He looks good too.
Yeah, but he's up and down.
You went Broadway.
Well, his weight's up and down.
But it's fine to be an older guy with some weight on you.
But what I'm saying is this.
He looks like a soccer dad, regular older guy.
I'm saying Justin Timberlake. Looks the exact same.
He looked like Justin Timberlake.
But let me tell you this.
The guy that's not in the group chat looks like shit.
The two guys that don't look good are him.
And why?
It's because he's dying his hair.
The second you try to do something to not, it doesn't look natural.
And the other guy, Chris Kirkpatrick, is because he's got that awful fucking thing on his chin.
I mean, that's a pussy.
Do you guys know who Jalen Rose is?
You could kiss him and eat his pussy at the same time.
Yeah. Of course. These are the jokes. No, I love them. Sorry. It was really funny. No, I a pussy. Do you guys know who Jalen Rose is? You could kiss him and eat his pussy at the same time. Yeah.
Of course.
These are the jokes.
No, I love them.
Sorry.
It was really funny.
No, I liked it.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Go ahead.
What were you saying?
You're throwing a lot of heat today.
No, no, but I'm with you on this.
Guys that dye their hair.
Don't dye your hair.
No, but that's like you need to see a new picture of him.
Every time I'm watching the NBA, it's like he's dyeing his hair and the dye job is...
You look your age.
I feel like with black guys, it looks the worst.
But your face, though, still is older.
He has horrible takes, by the way.
I don't like him as a black guy.
I mean, you can't even tell on this picture, but he's dyeing his hair.
He gets spray painted.
Just don't dye your hair.
You look the age you're supposed to look, and then you dye your hair?
It looks so weird.
You might as well dye it purple.
It's just wrong.
There's one thing when women get plastic surgery, and it looks a certain way.
Yeah.
But when an older man-
Oh, it's horrible, bro.
Listen, when an older man gets plastic surgery, dude-
Any.
It's like you're playing hide and seek with a nine-year-old, and you see their legs underneath the thing. Oh, that's so funny, bro. You have to be like this. You have to be like this. Ooh, where are you? That's so funny, dude. Any. It's like you're playing hide and seek with a nine-year-old and you see their legs underneath
the thing.
Oh, that's so funny, bro.
You have to be like this.
You have to be like this.
Ooh, where are you?
That's so funny, bro.
Oh, you look great.
You look great.
Everything's normal.
Yeah.
It's like you can't look like.
Thank you.
Here's the thing, though.
You're 65.
So what do you look now?
59, maybe?
I don't know. I don't get it. Brian got his lids done at 50. 65? So what do you look now? 59, maybe?
I don't know.
Brian got his lids done at 50.
I just, when an older dude is really... Wayne Newton, dude.
Wayne Newton looks like a fucking crazy person.
That's horrible, bro.
That's horrible.
I don't...
I've never gotten anything done.
I've never gotten my fucking...
I never dyed my hair, ever in my life.
Any.
Even when I was like... I never dyed a fun color. I never dyed my hair ever in my life. Any. Even when I was like, I never dyed it.
A fun color.
I never dyed my hair.
Wayne Newton looks like a vampire.
I was for a little while.
Well, as an actor.
Yeah, that's what it did.
It'd be like, we need you to be whatever.
It's like when I'm dying up here, I had to dye my mustache dark.
So it was stupid to have this be dark.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I had to walk around a regular society.
But it's like, damn.
That shit.
You can just kind of always tell.
I would just use it just for men.
But then I didn't keep up with it so it would look ridiculous.
Yeah.
But it is what it is.
Damn blue eyes.
Hey guys, this is Laura.
I'm from Ottawa.
I just wanted to call in and ask you guys a question that I need help with.
So I got this kitten on the weekend and I still have no idea what to name it.
I'm really bad with naming animals and I want you guys to name it.
Whatever you guys choose, I will go with.
I was thinking of little Jerry Seinfeld, Theo.
I don't really know. so any help would be great
chris i will see you in ottawa in september and i couldn't be more excited and i'm so bloody
nervous i have no idea what i'm gonna say to you um bring the cat and eric chin nick i love you
guys all so much so thank you bye nice she seems nice name She named her cat. Oops. Oops the cat? That's kind of cute. Oops is cool.
Oops the cat is cute.
Oops.
Oops.
Oopsies.
Her boyfriend, what's wrong?
No, it's a cat.
Remember?
It's a cat's name.
Oops.
What's wrong?
Nothing.
Yeah, a little oops is cute.
Oops is cute.
Yeah, there you go.
Oops.
He did it.
He decided.
Oops the cat.
It's done.
It's cute.
I had this on my desk, right?
Yeah.
And so then when I'm gaming, then I take my headphones off, and it always hits it.
Or if I'm really upset, because I get angry when I'm gaming, somebody just sends some
dumb shit in chat.
Do you play Fortnite?
Yeah, a couple times.
What is it?
My son, I just got it for him.
Oh, dude.
But not online.
2023.
Not online, though.
It has to be online.
Oh, in order to...
No, he's playing not, but he's not playing against other people live.
Then there's no point in playing the game.
Really?
Yeah.
Then it's not for him.
I don't want him online right now.
Yeah, I get it.
What do you mean?
I don't want him like a headset and some guy like, yeah, let me see your dick.
Yeah, he's seven.
He's seven.
You just turn the chat off.
Yeah, you got to monitor it?
Oh, you turn the chat off?
Yeah, just turn the chat off.
You don't have to listen to people.
Take his mic away, you know, whatever.
He doesn't have a mic.
Yeah.
All right.
There's no submission for this.
But you need to talk shit, though.
I mean, it's just.
You can't help him.
He's got to be in there like, well your mother bitch you know you're not hearing that from the other
room you're your son doing yeah yeah like did you use the n-word he's like i'm playing fortnite
i was this crazy to me is like apparently gays and black people are really good at call of duty
because they shit talk because no because that's what you get called Gays and black people are really good at Call of Duty.
Because they shit talk.
No, because that's what you get called when you kill someone.
Oh, that's fine.
You know what I mean?
Wait, that's – Anytime you wreck somebody, they're – it's amazing.
Is it a hard F-bomb?
Oh, it's – I have – I screenshot them.
I record the things.
You should.
And then I just – because it's just like, oh, this is-
You're kind of a snitch, though, right?
Yeah, hell yeah.
Hell yeah!
It's kind of bullshit.
And you add them, and you're like, look, this guy called me the F word.
It's the streets out here, though, dude.
I know, dude.
It's the streets, dog, and you get snitched.
There's no streets.
There's no online streets.
It's the online streets.
There's a big rat.
Hey, watch your mouth.
Oh, there we go.
That's what snitched you.
You're a hall monitor.
Oh, hall monitor Eric, dude.
That could be Tiger.
Watch your mouth. My problem is we go. That's what snitches. Your hall monitor. Oh, hall monitor Eric, dude. That could be Tiger. Watch your mouth.
My problem is all these keyboard warriors out there, these white boys,
you can tell that just some young kid that's never been punched in the mouth.
Oh, yeah, dude.
They need to be punched in the mouth.
All these people online.
They're snitching too.
These people online are just, oh, my God.
No snitching, baby.
I think that you should not be able to be online unless you have your name.
Oh, I agree.
100%. It should be your name. Oh, I agree. Oh, 100%.
It should be your name.
I agree 100%.
Because you know where I'm at.
Yep.
Come get some.
Go to AaronRiffin.com.
He'll be at the Ice House.
And ChrisDeLiga.com.
I'll be on his website.
Jam on.
See my dates.
Jam on.
You can walk into the club and be like, oh, yeah, they're not going to do that because
you're a bitch.
We're the man, dude.
We are, man.
You know where I'm at.
You know where I'm at.
Charlotte in August. Come. Show up. Come know where I'm at. You know where I'm at. Charlotte in August.
Come.
Show up.
Come through, motherfuckers.
Huntsville.
Nashville.
They will shoot you.
Show up.
But also the kid's like, I'm 14, bro.
I know.
That's what you should be saying.
He's like, I can't even get in the club.
Yeah, but dude, you're still a bitch.
I get death threats, dude.
I get death threats on the reg.
I get death threats on the reg.
It's just crazy.
Don't go on tour, bro.
I'll see you.
Where you at? Come on through, bro.
What was he going to say about Chris Brown?
Chris Brown and Usher got
in some argument. I guess Chris Brown
was yelling at Tiana Taylor, who I don't really know
who that is, but they were on skates.
That's too loud.
They should have just had a dance-off.
It's like the movie ATL.
Oh, and he slipped, too. too Oh they're on the roller skates
That's hilarious dude
Where's the argument
Fuck you fuck you
Is that that really hot chick
Yes
She's made chompers
Chris Brown is like a ballerina
Chris Brown That dude a ballerina.
Chris Brown?
Yeah, that dude can dance.
Oh, that dude's so, he creates some slappers.
It's ridiculous.
He lives near me and he had a yard sale for all his old clothes.
A yard sale?
A yard sale to get rid of all his old clothes.
The line, two miles long.
Two miles long.
Really? Does he need money?
No, I think he was just like, hey, I'm trying to get rid of all this
old shit people give me.
This is the seatbelt in the car with Rihanna.
Oh my.
This is what I wore.
That's crazy.
Wow.
At his house?
Yeah, dude. Front lawn.
You can find out where people like that live.
Yeah, but you don't want them showing up.
Yeah, we had a yard sale.
That's what you do.
Yeah, man.
If you're not fucking Chris Brown.
Yeah, imagine you.
But see, I couldn't do it because I would be browsing, you know, through his stuff.
They don't have our size, though.
They're like, what is this?
We think too small.
Otherwise, it would have stood in line
it would probably fit me
I'm a fan
yeah you could wear it
I don't know how tall he is
he's probably short
he's short
yeah
alright
ooh neck tat
let's see what's up
what were they
Usher and Chris Brown
fighting
that doesn't even make sense
probably over herpes
it should be a dance off though
I agree
oh yeah
well Chris Brown
has an anger problem right
but I don't
no not anymore
he has a singing problem
creating slappers.
But, but,
well, he's always like
throwing a chair
or some shit, isn't he?
No.
How dare you?
When's the last time
Chris Brown...
When's the last time
he threw a chair?
I don't know.
That's your problem.
Nick, Google it.
I'm just saying,
when's the last time
he got fucking...
The media got him.
We gotta cut.
No, I know he threw a chair.
I saw him throw a chair.
Like seven years ago.
Yeah, okay,
that was the chair one,
but there's a bunch
of different ones.
Just Chris Brown anger issues.
Right?
Right.
He hasn't done something in a hot second, right?
I hope so.
Because they tried coming after him when he released his song,
and it came out the girl was lying.
All right, so that's a while ago.
Yeah, that's 2017.
There you go.
You live in the past, bro.
Chris Brown admits he – that's 2013 he admitted he had it. That's 10 years ago.
I know, but since then, has shit happened?
I don't know.
I don't think so.
No, dude.
All right, then, good.
And you keep running with the narrative.
Bro, I like the way he dances.
You're not a fan.
You're not a fan.
Run it, run it.
Wow.
Run it, run it.
Excuse me.
Run it, run it.
Can you get a new song, at least?
That's like 10 years ago. You're living 10 years ago. You're not a fan. Can you get a new song at least? That's like 10 years ago.
You're living 10 years ago.
You're not a fan.
I'm not a fan of Chris Brown.
Well, there you go.
Run it, run it.
That was 2005.
All right, dude.
It's weird that when you push your forehead back, it's still in front.
You know what I mean?
His forehead is like, it's still.
He's like, okay.
Oh, shit.
I don't know any other Chris Brown song than that one.
Any of them.
I never really loved this music.
Forever?
The whole time.
Oh.
Honestly, like. I couldn't tell you Chris Brown.
I don't like so many slap. Good. Kristen
loves Chris Brown. Oh, all
girls love Chris Brown. Chill. Yeah.
Chill. Don't get me wrong. Hey, you know, if your
girl goes around Chris Brown. Yeah.
Hey, should we cook it?
Should we hold
a Chris Brown's hand? Sorry, baby.
Sorry. But baby, I'm going to make chicken and broccoli. You Chris Brown's hand? Sorry, baby. Sorry.
But baby, I'm going to make chicken and broccoli.
You think that's great?
Baby, run it, run it on it.
What's this gentleman want, Nick?
Chris should do it with his nose.
What's up, boys?
It's me again.
You should talk.
Mr. Necktattoo.
Yep, we know him.
Chris, you need more tats.
I do.
Sitting in my car.
Bro, put your hand in your head. Having a snack on my lunch break.
Pause it.
Bro, who fucking eats like that?
Put the...
This guy goes...
His head.
What a wacko.
You put a hand in your head.
Kind of met it halfway.
Sitting in my car.
It is weird.
Having a snack on my lunch break.
Old school car.
Having some spicy
Genoa salami.
Yeah, it's good.
Oh, I love that shit.
Got me thinking.
Charcuterie question
or party question.
You guys go to a party
or whatever,
gathering,
whole bunch of foods,
meats, cheeses, pickles,
all that shit.
I'm getting hungry, bro.
Me too.
Top three things
you're grabbing off that plate.
Meats, cheese. Brennan, I know you're're grabbing off that plate. Oh, meat, cheese.
Brennan, I know you're probably taking three of everything.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah, what are your top three picks?
Chin, too.
I know you're probably picking all fish.
All right, sis.
I love you guys.
With the hands.
With the hands.
Just fish with the hands.
Smoked salmon.
Smoked salmon, bro.
Hell no.
That's crazy.
I love salmon.
I go for the meat, the brie, and then if they have a nice fig jam,
then the crackers.
Knobby, Knobby.
You got to put it with olives and pickles?
If they're bringing out Sam.
Gay.
Bro, no.
Knobby.
Gay.
Knobby.
Gay.
Knobby.
I get the fucking cheese.
I get the meats.
And, bro, I'll tell you what.
That's it.
I don't have a third one.
Maybe I'll get the pickles
no those are stupid man that hot meat dude the hot meat you gotta get to something like this fast
though oh i come to a party too late and i come over to the table and it looks sad you just know
everybody's been picking it yeah i leave yeah it's fucking hunger games yeah like i'm not eating fish
unless i see it come out,
and then you get it right away.
A hundred percent.
Now, if it's a smoked kind of fish, though,
it's nice.
Like a dip.
But also, the nuts in the honey,
with the cheese,
I like shit.
I like the cheese in the meats,
and that's it.
And if the meat's hot,
I don't mean hot,
I mean spicy.
Oh, I'm hungry right now.
Yeah, I know.
I'm fucking hungry, dude.
We should get a charcuterie board
for the next show.
Wow, nice try, dude.
Charcuterie?
I think you're right.
Is there like a charcuterie company?
Oh, it's Jokic from Denver.
Okay, let's see.
He's got a house on his head.
That's nice.
What's up, everyone?
Brendan, Chris, Eric, Nick, and Chin.
My name's Campbell.
I'm from New Zealand.
And last night night me and my
better half sat down watch a comedy movie have a laugh um and it was in the middle of the movie
and there was a scene where the uh main guy character and and the girl were having a chat
over um whatever they were talking about but anyway the the server walked over and he popped his head up and it was this guy uh oh yeah movie old school and i was like oh shit there's brian kellen and
my wife was like who and i was like you know brian from fighter and the kid and she paused for a
second and then she was like oh shit he's so young well um so i thought that was crack up but what it
did is that movie kind of like posed a question what are your guys
three
funniest movies
of all time
because looking on
the list on the internet
on Rotten Tomatoes
and stuff like that
the list is pretty average
so I thought you guys
would be good to ask
so what are your
three funniest
comedy movies
of all time
much love
love the show
keep up the good work
when I hear him talk now, I just was looking for
no titties.
You hear my tits go up on the dance set?
Is that a Nuggets jersey, Nick?
He's New Zealand, so I feel like it's
probably New Zealand date
nuts or some shit.
What's your three funniest movies?
I have two. Swingers.
The funniest fucking movie is so funny
to me. Come on, it going 1998 bottle rocket is hilarious
now you don't know what do you like bro you're dumb that's it no don't wanna
I'm done what what are yours bro oh dude watch this shit some fucking watch this
what do you watch this go ahead go ahead trading places oh okay
all right well bro what do you know if everything else cop three is it my third no way i'm out
that's the worst one i'm out with the tall blonde and then he went to the shooting range
come on man go ahead trading places is one of the funniest movies ever okay i i was to me
i you could pick i could pick three Eddie Murphy
movies that could be in the top three.
What? Life's up there.
Even though it's dramatic, but life's
fucking funny. Yeah, but it's not one of the
best. At all. Dude, Swingers.
It's the funniest fucking movie. The Clumps,
man. Bro, get out of here. Get the
fuck out.
That shit is so funny.
Coming to America, the first the first one no it's not
bro when's the last time
you've seen it
I watched that recently
I go like this
oh this fucking sucks
oh my god
run it run it
Ghostbusters
it's funny
pretty funny
I'll give it
you know
you guys went old school
with it
mine are better
they're not though
I would
for me
I'm gonna get roasted
I'd go Happy Gilmore
Wedding Crashers crazymore Wedding Crashers
Crazy bro
Wedding Crashers is
No it's not
Hilarious
Old school's up there too
I'll find you
I'll find you
These are not good
Mine are the best
And I know that
Happy Gilmore
Billy Madison
You didn't find those funny
No
Wow
I agree with me
I agree with me
You agree with you
After all this
I agree with me Come I agree with me. You agree with you? After all this, I agree with me.
Come on, man.
Come on, dude.
This guy made some AI images.
Look at this shit.
I got a city in my hair.
And I believe it's his music playing.
Oh.
Oh, I look rugged.
Oh shit.
Oh damn.
Oh.
Oh shit.
These are dope. these are dope dime piece
oh the music dude
i by far look the worst out of everyone have you seen the one i feel like yours was the
closest wait nick look up this have you seen the ones where like uh uh celebrities change the race of celebrities yeah that by the way i
don't think that's funny i don't think it's good it doesn't look funny to me it doesn't look good
it's not crazy well okay go to it go to it oh it's crazy why it's not crazy i haven't seen this
this is like a social media trend. Yeah, it looks weird. That looks like Ewan McGregor.
This is just different.
That is...
Oh.
That's 50 Cent.
Check out Eminem.
That's just the fucking guy.
That's Rogan.
But that's just...
What's his name?
That's Ben Affleck.
That's so dumb, Kanye.
That's so dumb, you know?
That's Wesley Snipes.
That's Carrot Top oh damn
Tom Hanks
that's
that's alright bro
yeah
AI is doing now
AI is crazy right
AI is crazy
yeah one more
alright one more alright
one more
here we go
here we go
run it
run it
I'm eating it
because of the music
hey golden hour
debate club for you
do you
get a girlfriend first
and then get a job
or do you get a job
and then a girlfriend
anyway
thanks guys you guys are the best I like this guy nice guy straight to the point Get a girlfriend first and then get a job, or do you get a job and then a girlfriend? Anyway, thanks, guys.
You guys are the best.
I like this guy.
Nice guy.
Straight to the point.
Probably get a job first.
Get a job first, yeah.
Chicks dig guys with jobs, you know?
Get a job first.
You know what?
You never know.
You never know, but also for you, get a job.
That's more important.
Of course, but in his scenario, what I'm saying is, here's the thing.
What helps what? If he would say, I'm'm saying is here's the thing what helps what
if he would say not i'm not saying the dude's not a good looking dude yeah yeah yeah he's fine
looking but he's he he's not brad pitt right yeah brad pitt don't gotta have a job no no no i'm
just saying how many girls i just remember so many girls being like what's up with your dude and he's
like yeah he's between jobs and shows up he's like, yeah, he's between jobs. And shows up, he's like, hey.
Yeah.
I'm just saying there's dudes that are just like,
no motivation. If Big was cuter, he would
not have lived in his car.
A girl, yeah, look.
You ought to be hot to be a sugar baby.
I had a couple warm bets.
The truth comes out.
To be a sugar baby?
Make him play.
A job helps you get a girl. A girl doesn't help you get a job. As a matter of fact, Ah, the truth comes out. To be a sugar baby? Nickel player!
A job helps you get a girl.
A girl doesn't help you get a job.
As a matter of fact, it does the fucking opposite.
So get the job first.
I'm fucking... That was good.
Or work at a strip club.
Get a job.
Find a chick first.
Yep, do it.
And your life will be great.
Your life will be great if you work at a strip club and find a chick there.
Your life will be great.
I wonder why he came up with that.
Is it something he wanted to know for himself? Probably conflicted. Well, how about this? great. If you work at a strip club and find a chick there, your life will be great. I wonder why he came up with that.
What?
He wanted to know for himself?
Probably conflicted. Well, how about this?
If you're just like an average dude,
which I'm not, I'm elevated.
What kind of girl can you get without a job?
If you're hot, you get a sugar mama.
So she's older.
I could do it.
I got the gift of gab, man.
And I'm not too bad to look at.
I'm easy on the eyes.
Not now, though.
I don't have the gift of gab?
No, you have the gift of gab,
but the look...
Yeah, you'd have to have a job now.
I look good, bro.
Trust me.
I agree with me.
I look good.
I'm 43.
I look fucking...
Honestly, I would say for 43,
I look banging.
If you don't have that success, though...
The fact that you have to say 443
means... Yes. Okay, fine. Put me next to a 30-year-old. I still look banging. If you don't have that success though the fact that you have to say 443 means
yes.
Okay if I'm put me next to a 30 year old
I still look banging dude.
I go like this to the 30 year old.
And the girl goes
oh.
My wife goes like this
hey Chris
you're hotter than ever
and I agree with her.
She has to say that.
Just like you have to say her cooking is good right? Right. Exactly. Nah bro her cooking is good and I agree with her she has to say that nah just like you have to say
her cooking's good right
right exactly
nah bro her cooking is good
and I am hot
now I don't believe
her cooking's good
me neither
I don't want to try it now
because we don't work for you
so we're going to have to
come over and see
after this I'm going to
look in the mirror
just to make sure
yeah keep it real dog
yeah
what's up guys
I've been debating this
with my friends recently
I think In-N-Out
is way better than Five Guys yeah it is that there are people that
will swear my friends those are cucks that five guys is better that's dumb get rid of dude
it's not it's not in and out is scrumptious and delicious don't say that but yeah
in and out's overrated though get out of here know what, dude? I don't like your takes today, man.
Hold on.
Real quick.
He's going to bring up some bullshit one.
What?
Have you ever had the Whopper with cheese and ketchup on it from Burger King? You know what, bro?
This guy's...
I'm done with you.
Are you kidding me?
A Whopper, bro?
A Whopper?
Flame broiled.
You know what?
With a seeded bun.
They come fresh.
They're $11.
He grew up poor.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I did.
Honestly, dude, I've never been pissed on this podcast.
I'm pissed.
Let me tell you something, though.
The Whopper, bro.
I don't think Five Guys and In-N-Out should even be on the same.
Five Guys is more of, it's-
I'm pissed, baby!
Woo!
What's that from?
It's closer to a restaurant than a food place.
Because I think there's more things on –
I think there's more things on a Five Guys menu.
Yeah, I know.
Totally.
That's going to make the burger better.
But if you're just talking about –
Five Guys is good.
I'm not knocking Five Guys.
Let me just ask you real quick.
When's the last time either one of you had a fresh Whopper from Burger King?
You're going to hate on it.
A long, long, long time ago.
What about you, Eric?
Years, right?
No.
But years.
Go there.
It fucking slaps, dude.
Now, it's $11, which is why they're losing business.
It's $11?
I spent $40 for me and my brother at Burger King the other day.
$40!
If I'm going to go-
And you know what?
I would have paid $400.
You know, if I'm going to go with that, though, if I'm going to do some fast thing, I'd rather
get a quarter pounder with cheese.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
Get In-N-Out.
It's way better than all of that shit.
No, that's a sheep thing, dude.
No, but not the-
In-N-Out's a sheep thing.
Not the french fries.
The In-N-Out french fries are trash.
Get them with cheese on it.
It's fine.
It's good.
You can't do it fast. No, I'm not getting cheese on French fries.
Oh, yeah, because you don't look like a guy that gets cheese on French fries.
No, I don't.
Oh, my God.
So rude.
All right, Sam, my forehead is big even if I push it back.
Like this?
You can do something about the fucking weight.
I can't do anything about this forehead.
By the way, I just want my french fries.
I don't like chili cheese.
Nah, I'm lying.
I like chili cheese fries.
He caught it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
There he goes.
I just want my...
Wait, wait.
I don't like just cheese.
That's so dumb, bro.
He likes it worse.
I don't like just cheese.
I like chili and cheese.
You can't just put cheese on some fries.
That's some bitch shit.
The cheese compliments to chili The main thing
Isn't even the fat thing
With him
He's like
The fat thing
Is on top
Of the fucking cheese
Oh fuck man
That's funny
That was fucking great
He got himself
I love chili cheese
Alright bro
That's it man
We're out of here
Man I'm gonna be So many cities Chris out of here. Man, I'm going to be in so many cities.
ChrisDelia.com, dude.
Nashville, I'm coming.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it. Thank you.ご視聴ありがとうございました