The Golden Hour - Idiot Urgent Care | The Golden Hour #95 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia
Episode Date: August 30, 2024The guys talk Chris trading his Ferrari in for a Porsche, an electric vs gas car debate, Erik buying his first home, Brendan's new military Hummer, AI tanks, intern Kevin burning himself with a clothe...s steamer, viral Tyrese videos, Vin Diesel movies and much more! Get two extra episodes every month at https://patreon.com/thegoldenhourpodcast
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We're friends that laugh, we're friends that shout
Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about
But that won't stop us
Nothing can stop us
As I show you, use the love, just rebrand it enough
It's stronger, bigger power cuz it is the golden hour
You saw the car? I just sent it.
Hey, you're a camera man.
You know that's too much power for you.
That car's too fast for you.
Turbo S, this will be alright. It's too fast for you. It's a turbo S.
This will be all right.
It's too fast for you.
All-wheel drive turbo S?
It's paint to sample.
You painted it brown too?
Yeah, it's what I always wanted.
Me too.
Fuck.
I'm sorry.
You finally got a real fucking car.
Nah, that Ferrari's dope as shit.
Ass chin. Nah, that Ferrari's dope. shit. Ass chin. No, Ferrari's dope.
Hey, hey, hey.
Come on, your face.
What I got?
Cocaine?
Cocaine?
Oh, I wish.
What is that?
You got some?
You got some?
Ha ha ha ha ha.
That took you all of three seconds, you piece of shit.
What'd he say?
He said you got some.
He went like this.
Oh, this is you guys' cinema, right?
You got something for me? What if you had the liminis?
You're all actually like, dude.
He sat on your face and he goes.
Like, little cup.
Look.
Fuck off.
Hey, how's it feel not to be a cuck, man?
You got a real car.
All right, dude.
Hey.
I'm not a cuck. Big day, dude.
I had a, the car I had is awesome.
Actually, I will say this. You talking about the Ferrari? That car I had was is awesome. It's actually I was a
Ferrari that car was my favorite car ever. Did you get rid of you trading
that for this? For a turbo S all-wheel drive is such a different car. Really? You
know what it is? I don't want to do this to you. You know what it is? It's too much for you.
The delivery that was great. Thanks man. It's too much though right? It's not for you. This from the guy that flips trucks. Yeah. Yeah. Talk about too much for you.
That's how you know it's too bad. I saw it. Yeah. Yeah. That's how you know it's bad. All right
Those are so fat really it's funny, but the Ferrari is crazy. It's like 704 horsepower
Dude you've always been funny today dude today would you talk about that?
Stupid dad Ferrari compared to a turbo s and it's what year is is it? You're in, you're coming into his wheelhouse.
I know.
You're in his wheelhouse.
You see, it's fucking,
You're messing up.
staying outside.
You talking about the military Hummer?
Is that what you're talking about?
You know what my favorite part about it was?
The Humvee.
But my favorite part of it is,
there's no cup holder and you just have the coffee
on the, in the middle, just hanging. Hey, hey, on the in the middle. Just, just hang it.
Hey,
Spills everywhere.
That's why I wore black jeans.
Cause I'll drive with Diet Coke or coffee.
Just splash it.
What is, what is the deal with that?
What do you, what do you, what do you mean, dude?
Like, like just Trump's 20, 24 is the deal.
No, I understand.
And look, you need a military Humvee.
Yeah, dude.
Cause if he doesn't win, shit's about to get weird.
So hold on, hold on.
But you're going to get out of town super fast. You win shit's about to get weird. So hold on hold on But you're gonna get out town super fast. You're gonna crash but yeah, so hold on
You did it dude. You're happy about that
Oh, I couldn't be more proud of you out of anything you've done in life and achieved including your kids. That's more important
It's a monster, huh? That you don't understand. I don't an all-wheel-drive
Turbo s is so fucking fast. Oh my
It's all-wheel drive
So it's gonna launch like a motherfucker. Yeah
You really did it dude. I did it. I don't know who talked you into it
The same that coached into that code. Yeah. Yeah
I told guys I grant I got it. That's
And did you have to order it? No, paint the samples. Somebody
that means somebody was allocated that order that in green.
Yes. Hold on. No, you have to have the summer tires though.
It comes with all that. Okay. Zero 62.6 seconds and it's all
wheel drive boat out up. You're driving off the lot with a car
that goes 10 seconds quarter mile is
driving off the lot with a car that goes 10 seconds, quarter mile is... Wow.
Wow.
Lucid air performance, I'd love to see that.
You don't want me to bring my demon around though, right?
I don't know what I'm getting into.
So hold on, wait, what's up with your thing out there?
Tell me the story about it.
Oh, you brought up the Tesla time?
That was elusive.
Yeah, I always love when people do that.
So it's funny about that.
So you gotta charge it, right?
So- You gotta put gas in your car.
Yeah, but I can drive all day.
Three miles a gallon.
Hold on, let's laugh at him.
Hold on, that's why they're also great,
because they're in line sixes,
so the mile per hour is fantastic.
I don't even know what I'm saying,
but yeah, who cares, right?
But yeah, fuck you.
The gas mileage is fantastic, too.
My car goes 420 miles.
Yeah, so hold on, but wait though.
That number goes seven miles.
That's what I'm saying.
I know, that's so funny.
Yeah.
Wait, so tell me the story about this.
Why, tell me the story about this, but tell me also the story about the last one you had you got rid of it
Which one for the giveaway? Not yet? Okay ends this Saturday. I brought it up
Okay, three two days left. Once you see this, okay
He's left so and that's gonna be someone's and then you got this big thing and what are you gonna do with this?
Work truck so but how long you gonna keep it?
Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.
Work truck?
Ha ha ha ha!
Good delivery.
Is there some other business that you're doing
that we don't know about?
Defending his home?
Yeah, did you need some dumb ass truck?
No, I load up far right wingers and we.
Oh, okay, don't make sense.
Yeah.
Yeah.
In the trunk, there's an incubator with rescued fetuses.
Is that what you're?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, beautiful.
All right, guys, you busted me.
I sell anti-Kamala Harris merch.
Gosh.
That's what's in the bag.
Why would you need a Hummer for that?
Yeah, oh, there's a lot of merch.
But, and people really are trying to steal it.
Is it heavy merch?
The sales are booming.
Hold on, so, but why?
Especially we got RFK now.
But, but, but how did you get that and why, and why that?
Why not? Is the question.
Okay. All right. I get it.
Look, no argument for me. It's definitely cool.
It is definitely cool.
It never goes out. They're like denim jeans.
It never goes out of style.
They're cool. I mean, well, yeah.
Except for they're not around a lot.
That's what makes them cool.
There's more denim jeans around, but yeah, yes. They're, they're,
it's very cool. It's just here. I'll tell you something. So you guys know.
That is a crazy car. So crazy. And you know who got them, uh, sanctioned.
So they're available in America is Arnold. He's the first one.
Cause they're a military vehicle. So he made it safe.
When you see that in the lot, you're like, Oh, you can't drive around it.
No, but it's not, but here's the thing. No, no, no, no.
But here's the thing about this dumb one that he has. It's not even like, it's like one of those like, Oh, you can't drive around. No, but it's, but here's the thing. No, it's not. No, no, no. But here's the thing about this dumb one that he has. It's not even like,
it's like one of those like, Oh, you see somebody with a Hummer and you're just like, Oh, okay.
No, no, no, no, no, no. This looks like, no, it's a legit. Yeah. This would be a desert
storm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh no. It's straight from desert storm. Yeah. Like
he could cross the border. He can be a coyote. Oh, you know what I mean? He could just cross
the border without her. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. yeah. See, now your black side's coming out. Cause he's like, this isn't like one of them hummers
in the Nelly video. No, different animal.
We don't want that.
It's very cool. It is very cool.
Here's a real simple move on.
It doesn't.
Here's why they're cool. So especially that one, which is a humvee converted to h1 civilian ride the technology that goes in those
The government paid 150 is 300 grand in each vehicle. So the technology from the brakes the chassis suspension
Indestructible all you got to do is change the oil like once every 10 years so in
Destructing so and what's the deal with it? You did I don't even know how to ask about this. Did you lease it?
So you bought it yeah, okay, and then
What is your I mean?
You just like did you get rid of another car or his wife's like in the in the kitchen looking through the the window
You know like put some tamales or something
Park the water
Here I hear him oh no, I just go pulling up the driveway
Came out was like what?
I
Think it's like air wolf. No, she goes what the fuck I went Chris got a Porsche. That's all I said
Did I tell you that or how'd you know? I fucking guy. Yeah
so hold on the
This is amazing. So alright, you can't put this in your garage, right? No, no, no, no, no, no, no
No, some roads you gotta be careful, man
It's pretty wild. I'd love to go. I gotta go for riding that. Yeah, I'll take it still
Can you can you uh, can you get smaller seats?
Honestly, you look cool in it, too. Oh, I love it. What is that a baby seat in the front? That's military, dude
Oh, it would be hilarious to have the baby seat. That doesn't have
Oh, oh, well, no, that's illegal. No, no, he's old enough to not be in it, right? Yeah, so is Boston. It has no AC, no radio. Wow, that's awesome.
It's cool. Come on, bro. Why? I know, right? Why? Yeah, why? Why? But it's cool. Here's my answer.
Why not? Yeah, well, if you can, sure. Why not? You don't have my answer. Why not? Yeah. Well if you can sure why not?
Because there's no AC there's no
Thomas guide in there listen to the radio. This is for you. I know true true. I don't you hate to be cold
That's true. Is there a front windshield? Yeah, it's bulletproof
Just in case you pop off just in case it pops off, done. Just in case shit pops off.
Yeah, just in case.
Just in case shit pops off.
Dude, if I came home in there, my wife.
Oh God.
You know what she'd say?
Yeah.
What the fuck, you said I couldn't do this to the house
and you got this?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean?
She's going to get that, she got that list ready to go.
Oh, but like your Porsche, if you get a military one,
you can get it on I forget the website
It's a legit military website. They're used ones five eight grand ten grand
Oh, wow, if you know how to work on them and you can get the part. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah again, but that we gotta remember
The technology that's like a two three hundred thousand dollar vehicle. So the brakes I'm telling you it stops
But on your port, what do people say when they saw you you see you?
24 I'm telling you. Trump 2024.
I'm telling you everywhere I go, I'm like, whoa.
You don't have any question who's voting, who you're voting for when you see that
car.
Yeah.
You don't have a question.
Hey.
Be hilarious.
You voted for Kamala.
That's why I got it.
Um, so, okay.
Well that, that's a great car.
I will be in Oxnard this week and I'll see you there in Oxnard.
Uh, and I'll be in McAllen, Texas and Beaumont, Texas.
So come get tickets at chrislea.com.
I'm going to be in Lexington, Kentucky, dude.
I'm gonna be everywhere.
And I'm gonna drive there.
Miami Improv, September 21st.
Good clubs, boys.
Oh, is it the 21st?
Wait a minute.
There's still a Miami Improv?
Yeah.
And I'm gonna be there.
No, Miami's still crunk.
It's the one, there's one like in the suburbs.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, that one went out.
What's that one?
Coconut Grove. Coconut Grove, they have a new one. So the Miami improv is is new wish. All right, it's like past five six years
Yeah, because they
Yeah, I remember the old one. So, uh, is it have you been there? Um, I think so
I don't remember I open up from his path there. Oh, really somebody called me white devil
Well, I don't know my it's a lot of like Cuban. It's nice my
It's all there is I know my wife's gram
My wife's grandma lives there
So we're gonna take I'm gonna bring them. Hmm. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, that was most named after her dead husband. Oh cool
Yeah, so um say late husband, huh? Because yeah
Her dead husband. Oh, cool.
Yeah, so.
Say late husband, huh?
Because he dropped dead.
Yeah.
Weird.
He was dead.
He dropped dead.
We know what that means.
But we'll just say late.
So he's named after his decaying husband.
So this is her husband 60-hundred decay.
He has a stupid Hummer, but this is what you have an issue with?
Yeah.
Well, I mean, it's not that I don't have.
It's his delivery.
I don't not have an issue with his Hummer.
It's the delivery.
Yeah, you have an issue. He was outside the parking lot like this. This is stupid. No, I don't not have an issue with his Hummer You have an issue. He was looking at he was outside the parking light like this. This is stupid
No, I wasn't I recorded it. I'll put on my story
No, I just said where's the Bluetooth it was hilarious gag, but I just
I'm it's what okay. So yeah, it's wow. It's wow
So you're just right when you want to feel like there's a zombie apocalypse going on you just go
Let's just get in the car and you hit they so you're in the car with the kids. You can't even talk they must love it
It's so loud. You know love it kids. I just today was the first day of school
I said pick what car you want. They said the Hummer. I'm like over we got the TRX back
You got the demon there, you know the other stuff because you have
But so I was like what he has and they want the no radio, no AC.
I'm like, your hair's gonna get fucked up.
You guys look cute.
Your hair's gonna get all fucked up.
That's what they pick.
Kids love that thing.
You deal drugs intercontinentally.
You deal drugs intercontinentally.
No, he actually drives the drugs from Mexico.
There you go. You know, just an obvious hummer. Yeah. Clearly a drug. Yeah, he actually drives the drugs from Mexico.
There you go.
You know, just an obvious hummer.
Yeah.
Clearly a drug mule.
Yeah, because he can go, you know,
like the little river, he could just.
Hey, is he dealing drugs?
Oh no, that's fucking Brendan Schaub.
It's not, he's not dealing drugs.
Let him go, I guess.
Somebody will make a YouTube video,
Brendan Schaub has a hummer.
Then it's gonna be a whole.
Drug mule.
So. Guess you were Brendan's up too late, he's a drug mule. So you see what Brendan's up to ladies, a drug.
He is what you get. I remember.
Here's what you got to remember though.
This is what I always, this is what I always forget.
You're going to flip that one.
This is what I always forget.
I sometimes I'm like, well, how many cards do you have?
Like how much money do you have?
And then it's not.
And then I think, Oh yeah, though, dude, you're still an athlete, which
means you spend it like a fucking idiot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
At the, he also goes to the nonsense store.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's like,
if you really think about it,
his money guy's like, okay Brendan, sure.
No, I fire that guy.
Be more confident when I buy a fucking Hummer.
Dude, this is saying a lot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. coming from you, dude.
A lot.
Cause the only response one here is Eric.
You and I are a couple dumbasses.
I was living in a two bedroom townhouse for years
on three television shows at the same time.
That's crazy.
And then these clowns on the internet will be like, comment, I used to like cook for my kitchen. on three television shows at the same time. That's crazy. You know?
And then these clowns on the internet will be like,
comment, I used to like cook for my kitchen.
They'd be like, this guy must be poor.
Look at his kitchen.
That was me.
And I was going like this.
It's smart.
You think I care?
You think I care?
You know what?
It's a good-
I'm frugal as fuck.
But that is very good.
No, it doesn't annoy me.
I love that. I really do like like
At a certain like he doesn't not
Have like he's got a nice car. He's got you just bought a house
I mean, it's a little late, but like he you know, it's nice
I did it cuz I was like, okay. I have a kid
But I was like I was like all I then I looked at my account I was like oh I can't afford this
What there's a case I can afford it? Yeah, you know so I didn't really want to show that
But you but you are so we're also not in the shit like
Style yeah
for a little while. Your style. Okay, here we go. Yeah. You don't care about how you look.
Here we go. No, but it was like a certain point.
I know all the things that I've spent money on. There's like,
here's the dumb things I've spent money on in my life.
There was like three or four years I had like Clipper tickets and we were sitting
third row. But you really enjoyed that. I enjoyed it.
That's great. Experiences are dumb.
But I still look back on it and I'm like,
damn, I wish I had that money back.
But it doesn't matter.
But again, I still enjoyed that greatly.
Experiences aren't done.
And then it was like, and then I wanted a certain kind
of car, so I was like, oh, I wanted this.
I like the electric car thing.
I want to get the newest one.
Sure, if you like it.
I love all that.
I like it.
But you like technology.
Yes, yes.
You play video games.
Yes, yes, yes. So that's my thing that I spend money on. If you like it, I like it. But you like technology, you play video games. Yes, yes, yes.
So that's my thing that I spend money on.
Speaking of which.
But it's not gonna be shoes with gold tips on them.
Speaking of which, I should send you.
I grew up there.
Speaking of, I should send you this.
He's still young.
Not really.
You need to grow up.
Enough with the shoes already.
Speaking of cars and technology,
I just sent you something on the chat.
But enough with the shoes.
It's over.
I don't really, I don't really, you know.
Yeah, he's been into those daddy new balances.
Okay.
Love these.
I buy my jeans off Fashion Nova.
That's why I look like a bad bitch.
Look at this shit.
Look at this.
Look at this.
What the fuck is this?
The AI powered tank developed for the US Army is absolutely incredible. will have it in three weeks.
Jesus Christ.
Like. 360 degree situational awareness system the tank uses multiple sensors to get a full view of its environment That's me weapon system of the ripsaw is equally impressive
It can be armed with a 30 millimeter chain gun for targeting troops and light vehicles and javelin missiles for destroying enemy armor
The ripsaw m5 also boasts exceptional mobility thanks to its advanced suspension system
Oh, there's your loose itowing it to navigate various terrains with ease.
It can be transported by helicopters or C-130 planes.
Cut to this current shit.
Any real human beings being war anymore?
That's what I was just gonna say.
No one's fighting wars like this.
When we think of like Ukraine, all the tanks and like.
That's crazy bro.
It should be like little kids.
Muskets.
Like they're doing, it's all remote control.
Yeah.
What I wonder is.
It's basically you on fucking, you know.
What I wonder is look, he's Googling it,
so it is real, but like, what I wonder is.
That tank there is not the tank that was in that video.
Yeah, it is.
It's got, dude, the specs are different,
but what I, the thing about this is,
why don't we just have war fought by these things and when you
lose all your things, you lose.
As Ukraine, as Biden.
Why even do that?
Why don't we just, why don't they just play call of duty against each other?
Because people aren't going to abide by it, right?
They're still gonna be like well, I still want to kill everybody and take well even in war remember back
Okay, olden times. They would meet in a field. This is crazy. They would meet in a field
Yeah, and they would just be like, all right you guys should
Like Game of Thrones. Yeah, it's like this is the actual
Weird man. I don't know. This is wild, bro.
It's all fake, you know what I mean?
Well, that is, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it doesn't mean they can't.
I miss bayonets.
What?
I miss bayonets.
Yeah, I really miss bayonets.
Is that a black girl you dated in high school?
That type of white girl.
Just got in someone close and personal,
you know what I mean?
But also imagine me the front guy.
And the front with her, I charge, like like fuck that I won't be six rows back
baby I'll be the first wave I know they're coming how do you know because
you just shit yourself and I smell it that would be my line because I smell
your waist fucking cool right I'm pretty cool when it comes to all that kind of stuff.
Oh dude I told you I've been playing Wolfenstein with my kiddo.
Yeah you bet that.
Bro there's sex scenes in there. You save this family, you save this family and then
they got to be on a train together and she's all finished on only one bed and he's all
good.
And I'm like, where's this going?
T's like, what are they doing?
I'm like, I think they're staying the night in the train and then just pan through the
fucking.
Oh my God.
And I go, oh, the wrestling, I'm just gonna turn this off.
Oh wow.
Beanie, don't, what's up?
It just, that song starts playing.
Well, that's like a GTA.
Well, yeah, but you don't, yeah, but Wolfenstein.
I'm trying to kill Nazis.
Yeah. Oh, hell yeah, dude. Getstein. I'm trying to kill Nazis. Yeah
She's like come inside me this is so great. He has a dad moment. I went I'm done playing this
Sons go upstairs, and I just turned it off and went, oh man. Listen to my voice,
plus COVID. There you are now.
That's my boy though.
That's my boy. We'd be fucking Nazis
up, guys. That sucks though.
I know. That sucks. I'm trying
to kill people. I'm just
saying like you're trying to have a little moment
with your kid. Bro, the game is violent.
It doesn't suck. No, it sucks.
You're decapitating people in this game it's the it you should know it's far
from then it made an eight man it's far from that already from jump your Mario
and my game fucked the princess that's what you secret that is pretty I'm just
shooting shooting and then you're on a train, you're like, hey, here we are.
But to your point, to his point, you can't be like...
You can't fuck.
Dude, I knew they could like that.
But to his point, you can't be like, you're playing with your kids and your kids are like,
gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, all the shooting and death, and then this is where you draw the line?
No, no.
Yeah!
No, that's my point.
Yeah, it is. Yeah, it No, no. Yeah, man. We're killing fake Nazis. And then all
of a sudden he just, he's balls deep in a lady. Yeah. I can explain the Nazis and my
kids call them Nazis. Guy can't fuck. Well, even like, Hey dad, are we going to take out
more Yahtzees? On Grand Theft Auto it's the same thing. You can literally go to a strip
club and you're just like, wait.
None of those guys can fuck either, dude.
I wanna play Grand Theft Auto.
Dude, my favorite comment right now online is
we got blank before we got GTA 6.
When they say like, oh, I was,
like anytime there's something, like I saw it today,
I think it's China, yeah, China made their version of,
I'll Google this, of Orange County.
So like they made it look like Orange County
and you can live there in China.
And then somebody commented, they got Orange County
in China before we got GTA 6.
Like that comment.
But-
There's a game, there's a new game that just came out of,
I think it's from China.
There's a new video game that's like,
it's, it had the most, it broke the record for the most people playing it
at one time.
Oh really?
Yeah.
Some new video game.
Look at that, check out China's Orange County.
Isn't that weird?
No.
It looks pretty fucking good.
It's not.
No, not at all.
No, they all, you ever been to Irvine?
Yeah, no, I know.
They own it already.
Well, no, I know, but I'm just saying.
They were probably sitting around like,
we got a lot of money, right?
Yeah. They were like, yeah, why are we going to they were probably sitting around like we got a lot of money, right? Yeah
They're like, yeah, why are we going to the United States?
Make it here make it here. Yeah, but it's still everyone should just do that. It's rough cuz you're in China range
I don't know. Is there is there the Irvine improv?
Crystal clear calm prayer. I will be an oxnard. He's over here. Go like Chris. I just I'm gonna be at the China
I will be an oxnard. Imagine he's over here going like Chris would go like this.
I'm gonna be at the China Irvine improv.
China!
I'm gonna be at the China Texas.
Get your tickets, ni hao.
Or they just have a Chinese version of Chris
that goes into Forbes.
Oh dude, that's great.
You're too tall though.
Why go to watch Chris when we can watch
Chris!
Whoever it is.
Suck deep.
Oops.
Instead of that, it's like, oh no.
Oh man.
Oh, that's great Brendan great, Brendan. So stupid.
Oops with a bad
Asian accent. It's hilarious.
Oops. Oops.
But all the words.
Oops. Oh my
God. Non-joke ocean. I'm so sorry.
Oops. Brendan already knows.
We're representing all Asians today though. New
game. What are we looking at? That is
a baked potato
our buddy Kevin Oh
brain surgery
No, he
Won't know what that is
burned his arm with a steamer
Looks like that urgent care right now. Oh my god. It's juicy too looks like an elephant's trunk. Oh
care right now oh oh my god it's juicy too looks like an elephant's trunk oh my god how he was really his eyes been so wrinkly I'm getting more details I think
he might have been trying to do it on him oh my god dropped it
skin off. Hold on, what?
Keep going.
What is?
I knew you were wide underneath.
Oh, fuck, that looks bad.
What is a steamer, like it's like a...
To get wrinkles out of your clothes.
No, I understand, but like...
You know that.
And I know what it is, but they get...
They get really hot.
That hot?
Yeah, it's like an iron.
Like an iron.
It doesn't feel like it gets that hot, though.
It doesn't look like it gets that hot.
No, even if you had a steamer like this far away,
you would be like, oh, I know, that's what I'm saying.
I agree with you.
And then you just go like this, all of a sudden
it goes from volcanic.
The skin is like salmon, you know,
it's all crunchy at the bottom, the skin.
But Chris, I think you're right.
I think what he did, because I have a steamer too,
I've do it on my body.
I think he took an iron with the steamer.
Yes.
Oh, that's, that's. And plugged it in, yes. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. he took an iron with the steamer. Yes. Oh, that's that. And plugged it in.
Yes.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
That's an iron.
So he's an idiot.
Oh, y'all can't use him anymore.
OK, all right, all right.
Oh, he's a.
It's the reason why he's sitting over there.
That is just rough, bro.
Look at the skin coming off.
Yeah.
It's like crispy, like fish.
Now you're getting me hungry.
OK, please get this off the screen.
We've seen it in a movie. Come on, fish. That's how you get me hungry. Please get this off the screen. We've seen it in every come on
That's it's terrible. I make it so the hospital like put a band-aid on the second degree so you can treat it at home
Yeah, but also you got a yo change a doctor now. No, I forgot was I so degree it fucked up though that
I would go in fuck that. Oh, I wouldn't
It takes a lot for me to go the doctor. He's afraid I wouldn't go in fuck that I wouldn't it takes a lot for me to go the doctor
He's afraid I wouldn't go in for that. He said he would answer then I can do shit
How do you know it's second degree and not third?
Thirds like it goes you can see like a bone. I don't know if it's bone or muscle like it's deeper
It's way deeper and you have to go to the hospital. This feels deep. You should go with the second degree as well
But yeah, oh, He's like Deadpool now.
OK.
What if his dick was in it at the bottom right?
What if his dick was in the shot at the bottom right?
Just a giant dick.
Like, oh my god.
Oh.
Didn't notice that.
Why didn't you burn that?
Hey, Kevin?
Yeah, what's up?
You all right?
I had better mornings, but I'm alive.
Hey, it was an iron that did that. Yeah, you're using the steamer on an iron.
No, no, no. So I had the shirt like hung up and I was steaming it. It's kind of high. I had it hung up like on my door frame or whatever.
And I just, I don't know. I wasn't paying attention. I think I was like going to grab my phone or do something on my phone and it slipped out of my hand and hit my
Arm and it like stayed there for a second cuz I tried to like catch it. I don't know
Stay there for a second and
Fuck me up. Oh fuck man. God damn. So you're at idiot urgent care right now
So wait so what Fuck it. So you're at idiot urgent care right now? I'm an idiot, yeah.
So wait, so what?
He said you hit that big dick.
He comes in and goes, oh, fuck it.
So wait, so.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
I mean, that, does it hurt, it must hurt like hell right now
or did they give you something or what?
Yeah, it still hurts pretty bad.
I haven't seen anybody yet
because it's kind of busy.
Yeah.
But hopefully they give me something, I don't know,
some waitmen or some shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. me something. I don't know some waitmen or some shit
Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe some right at the county hospital. No those urgent cares take forever
Forever my god, dude. Usually urgent care is the best place to go. Well, it's second-degree burn, right? That's what our dr
Chin says I have the same one. All right, I have the same the bright can put neo sporn on it
That's it. Just clean it and then wrap it with Neosporin.
I would still go in, bro.
I wouldn't.
But yo, thank God.
Honestly, thank God it hit you there
and not anywhere like, I mean.
Oh, we lost him.
Oh, okay.
I thought he just died.
Urgent care service bad.
He just died.
He just.
He's still got you?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, thank God it just hit you there, huh?
He still didn't hit his face. That's what I'm saying. thank God it just hit you there, huh? You soon hit his face
That's what I'm saying. Thank God it has half full a big dick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
I'm it definitely would have my dick my dick is all over the place. Oh, dude. I couldn't get it
We not we know it's not working. Thanks for the update Kevin. We know Chris
Well, we saw whatever we make the full recoveries back next week.
Dude, I don't know man. He may be out for months.
We'll have to not pay another intern. A second degree burn?
We have to what? We'll have to not pay a new intern.
Oh no.
Ah dude, I don't know if he'll be back. What are we going to do without him?
I say eight months.
He needs to go do physical therapy.
He comes in a wheelchair.
Sorry, guys.
Think of your legs.
Sorry, guys.
It's really painful.
A cast on his feet.
What?
Um, all right.
Well, yeah, that's wild.
Just a bandaid over his ear like Trump.
What the fuck?
He'll be back. I hope no he will do you think this last time we ever talked to him Oh, apparently not
Yeah, you won't leave us alone now. So just checking back in King. You're still doing the same episode
Walmart mobile right now
Did you have the jitterbug? Yes
Does he have the jitterbug? Yes.
Ha ha ha ha.
Dude, I saw this, oh my god, I saw this crazy video.
I was this fat, super fat girl.
Talking about going to the doctor,
and she uses the term medical fat phobia.
Okay.
It's when, no, I'm gonna give you an analogy that's equivalent to this
So like it's like what happened to my mom really is like you go to the doctor and if someone's like super old
The doctor just kind of goes no matter what's wrong with them. Well, you're old
you know and
Or especially when my mom had dementia, so it was like oh you're you know
But she actually had a really bad blood clot that they possibly could have caught you get I'm saying
but so this is what big fat monsters go to the
Doctor well
But nobody's that's what they say happens
They think you know they could be something wrong and a doctor has to like it
I was like I've been talking about this on stage a little bit, cause it'd be like,
it must be hard to be a doctor,
cause you have to ignore.
Right, right, right, right, right, right.
Wow, that is such a bit you would do, that's funny.
You know what I mean?
Like you have to ignore the doctor.
Yeah, cause the doctor's like.
I'll say like, it'd be like if you walk in
with a machete in your head.
Of course, yeah.
You know what I mean?
And the doctor has to go,
the doctor has to go, they're like,
excuse me, I'm here for eczema.
Right, right, right, right.
You know what I mean?
My toe hurts, you know. Yeah, but I was. The doctor has to be like, excuse me, I'm here for eczema. Right, right, right. You know what I mean?
My toe hurts.
Yeah.
But I was...
The doctor has to be like, your blood pressure's through the roof, your cholesterol.
My thing is like, what things can you go to the doctor, if you're a big, you're just
a fatty fatty, okay?
Like TLC, 600 pound life-amp.
Like what could it, that's, what could you go to the doctor for that's not related to that. Right, right, right, right. That's all I'm saying.
COVID you broke your leg and even that.
Anything internal could be related to. So what I'm saying is like,
when they say that medical fat phobia, what is going on?
So what is like a toothache?
It's a new thing people come like a good thing. Maybe no. I have no idea. I have this one, too
This was fine. It's not about a fat person a toothache, right?
Medical yeah, but a toothache because they were eating sweet. Yeah, what's what's what's medical fat?
Medi so it's something that it means whatever's wrong with you is cuz you're fat
But what nobody that's what exactly so they say when you go to the doc they want the
doctor to like like treat them like hey ask me question I'm with the doctor you
know I'm with the doctor on this what was the doctor said you fat it was I
you know right but she's saying
one oh yeah he posted some yeah that's what it was on Tom Segura not but not
his thing but the the network one,
you know what I mean?
Oh yeah.
Chrissy D just signed on with him.
He brought a show over there.
Mm.
You get it?
Wait, but I actually did see that,
and they said that, well,
he's still gonna do it on his channel.
But I don't understand.
No, I think he's doing it, but he's under their network.
They just sell ads, that's all it means. Oh, okay
So he's not under your mom's house. He's just is there advertising he's not in there YouTube, right? Right?
All right, go play the thing. I sent you it's so funny the way this person falls Jesus. It's sad
It's no, it's not that sad because you know, she's probably okay, but my god I
Said it to Nick.
So buckle up.
Buckle up. Oh, oh shit.
Fuck dude, look at this.
Felt like a toddler.
Look, look, look, look, look.
Woo!
Oh, that's so weird.
It should even trip on his knee.
Knee just goes, knee just goes.
We're done.
Boom!
Bro, now keep it going, now keep it going.
Watch, watch what happens.
Here's my theory.
Here's my theory.
After, will you watch it?
This is my theory.
She's dead.
This is my theory.
So my theory is she died,
and they're doing the weekend at Bernie's with her after.
Hey, she's so stupid.
Hey, hey, hey.
She's dead, dead.
Look at this, dead. She dead dead look at this she was cooking
now look that bitch was picking her up now it's Jonathan silver and the fuck
another guy and they're picking her up and we gonna bring up sunglasses on her
they're gonna have a throw party dude she's gonna walk home hey she was
stretching she was beating the fuck out of his wrestler fatty's here's my thing
about wow I can't believe it here's my thing about this you're first of all
this is one of these like church events
or something.
Somebody said, I know a Mormon event when I see it.
That's hilarious.
So like, so she falls, right?
Imagine, let me tell you something right now.
If we do a race like this and I fall and bust my head,
don't fucking pick me up and make me finish the race.
No, I'm gonna finish and then be like, look at Eric.
No dude, but I mean like, she she's probably furious like I just hurt myself
Yeah, that is true. I agree with you. What are you doing? This person so serious? She surely injured her knee severely
Yeah, well, you know, we're using some asses though, right? Surely severely. She's so her knee went out and then
Well, what her knee just went yeah Her knee just went out to dinner.
Just went.
Her knee went.
I got a babysitter.
Her knee got a babysitter.
Her knee didn't even show up.
Yeah.
Her knee was busy doing shit.
Yeah.
And it was like, what are you?
Her knee, you know what her knee was like?
You know what her knee was like?
Kevin today just didn't show up.
And, and, and, and it, and then she hit her knee and called for the other knee. And then FaceTime her knee. And called for a boost mobile. And then hit the other knee, and then FaceTime.
Yeah.
Boom!
FaceTime.
Just FaceTime.
I don't know what's worse.
You tripping.
Like imagine if it was in slow mo and your body could see it
and she's just like, oh God, my knee hurts, ow!
And then it's like, oh, there goes my face.
Coo coo!
Oh God.
But I just feel like if you don't run don't do these things don't run
Right, right, right. That's that's just start out. No, no, no, you know what?
You see a lot of videos of like dudes in their 40s. Yeah still thinking they got yeah. Yeah. Yeah
Yeah, and they all tear their ACL about never having it and they're you know, whatever their hand
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're like relatively athletic.
Yeah, but that's why he blew it, because he used to do it.
And now his body is like, why aren't we doing this anymore?
And then he's like, let's go.
And his body's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
His hand was like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
No, no, no, slow down, slow down.
Yeah, yeah.
Pop, pop.
Ready, I gotta get warmed up.
Oh, fuck.
It was like a sniper went, tch, tch. Yeah, yeah. Pah-pah. I gotta get warmed up. Oh, fuck. It was like a sniper went. Tch, tch.
Yeah, that sucks.
Yesterday I was at the airport and my girlfriend,
we were like down slope, smooth tile,
and she had water in her bag that was on top of her carry-on.
It tipped over and water spilled.
I was like, oh, let's, I joked, I was like,
oh, let's stay here and watch people fall.
And then like a second later,
we're looking around trying to find someone to tell
because we didn't have anything.
And a lady just toppled and like banged her knee.
And we were like, sorry.
And she just, she didn't say anything.
I'm sure she had like blind rage,
but she just like limped away.
Why didn't you stop her?
Didn't see it.
Like we were looking around, it all happened. happened. It sounds like you're looking around for people
But did she see that you spilled it? I don't know that I don't think so that would have immediately been like what?
Are you okay?
Hit the ground I'd be like somebody's gonna die after this
It was it was clear time to it. Just it's like it's like Big Daddy
They're going down on the roller blades and throwing sticks and it was white tile like even looking at you It was clear tie. Come to it. Boom. Just. It's like Big Daddy.
They're going down on the rollerblades and throwing sticks.
And it was white tile.
Even looking at it, you couldn't see where the water was.
Oh, I see.
Okay, okay.
It was crazy.
Nick's first instinct.
The water spills and Nick's first instinct is, let's see what's going to happen.
And I missed it.
He went, get your phone out.
About to go viral.
He was so excited he missed it.
He was like excited he missed it
Man we missed it you fell too early
Just you stupid bitch you fell too early I needed to get my phone out
I needed to get my phone out Get out the way so we can get the next one
Slide her out
You just cost me $8,000 on YouTube
This one went viral
That was fun
That is...
Watch where you're going
But even if you do, that shit is tough
Because it was on the white
Tile, so
What is that?
Tyrese just doesn't miss.
I think I love every video with Tyrese.
My mama made us go to a social security building and play retarded.
You get that check.
It's $780.
Straight up government cheese nigga.
Nigga you been acting.
Your mom was your first director. straight up government cheese nigga you've been acted oh that's funny
your mom was your first director
she gave you your first movie gig
your mom first director
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uh that wasn't expected Yeah, man, they laughing off. Your mom gave you free. Why you laughing so god damn hard, man?
Your mom gave you free.
His face bringing over.
He laughing hard.
He's just the beast of the legend.
I want to see him do it.
But your mom gave you free.
My mom put me on, nigga.
Fuck you free.
Hey, I'm gonna tell y'all what it was, though.
Cut to some government official just
happened to be watching this, being like, huh, wait a minute.
Oh, it's $780, Tyrese. just happened to be watching this. Being like, huh, wait a minute.
He gets a bill.
$780 Tyrese.
No, for months, for like however long they did that.
I remember him, I knew he wasn't.
Or there's somebody being like,
remembering when they have a real retarded kid
and couldn't get the money because, you know.
Well, you know, that's the real retarded person
is watching and they're like, hey.
And they can do nothing about it.
But also, remember when Tyrese was going through
that breakdown?
Remember he's going through the breakdown,
like getting on their car?
Funny show today.
I'm trying to be sensitive, but.
Maybe he's going through with his girl crying all the time.
It's right there.
Yeah, I remember that.
But we're doing a bit about having Down syndrome right now.
Yeah, yeah. Oh, we're still on Down syndrome?
And it's being very funny.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm sorry.
You cut right into it.
It's okay.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
No, you probably wanted to honestly save the show, but we're burning it down.
Yeah, I do remember that.
He was crying and Tyrese is...
This is all I got. What is this? This is all I got. He was crying and Tyrese is...
This is all I got.
What is this? This is all I got.
Don't take my baby, okay?
I've been...
I've been away from my baby for too much.
This is when he's acting retarded?
At this moment.
Same time.
And you got $708 for this.
No one's listening, there's no one's in the courtroom.
I'm not doing anything illegal.
I mean, you literally should put these two videos together.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean?
Or when he just does it later in that video, he's like,
oh, right, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Here's what I don't understand.
Here's what I don't understand.
People get canceled and stuff for saying certain things,
for doing things, accusations.
People get canceled for a slew of stuff, right?
How do you see this and then still cast Tyrese in a movie?
Because it was six years ago.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
When everyone was getting canceled.
Was it six years ago?
So it's like, oh, what is, is like how do you buy him now in?
Well, he's only in fast and furious is I guess yeah, what else is he in? Yeah, but how do you buy a main character?
No, how do you buy him as that badass in fast and furious people are stupid
How do you buy him when he goes out of space in that car with ludicrous? How do you believe it?
Don't we get me started when the car was in space.
That's one of those things where you watch and you,
when it happens you think of Eric Griffin.
Yeah, I do.
Well, I stopped watching after, was it Tokyo drift after that.
It got third one, bro.
Yeah.
When I went to three,
when, like when, when six cars are parking together,
like if we all went to Air One,
and we pulled into the lot and went like this,
I'm like, I'm out.
You pull up, you pull up, I pull up,
Eric pulls up.
Real quiet and efficient.
But I mean, I get you.
There's no rhyme or reason to anything. No. Yeah. There's no rhyme or reason to anything.
No.
Yeah.
There's no rhyme or reason to anything.
He's in the Safe Kids Club.
No, right, yeah.
But that's, yeah, wow, okay.
Best movie he made was Four Brothers.
There's no, there's none of that.
There's none of that.
Name another one.
There isn't one.
No, no, dude.
Thank you, there isn't one.
You're retired from the show, man.
It was, oh my God, what's the name of that movie, man?
Not Baby Boy, right? Baby Boy. Oh, that was. You're retired from the show, man. It was, um, oh my god, what's the name of that movie? Not Baby Boy, right?
Baby Boy.
Oh, that was terrible.
Baby Boy is the jam.
You're retired.
You're out.
I'll take it from here. This is congratulations.
Jam, baby!
This is congratulations. Everybody welcome to congratulations.
Baby!
Baby Boy's the jam.
Four brothers.
God, this guy's got money, huh?
You really do like Baby Boy?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I love John Singleton.
Baby Boy was the show. John Singleton, Like, fucking hell. Baby Boy was a shit.
John Singleton, yeah.
But here's the thing about-
With Vin Reigns, he's cooking the breakfast
with no clothes on.
And he was like, you want some eggs?
Stop for us.
Fuck y'all, dude.
That Baby Boy is the shit.
That's not for us.
Stop for us.
So this movie-
Tell me you're white without telling me you're white.
So hold on.
I'm not your baby boy. Didn't he do the song? Sound track. So this movie... Tell me your why without telling me your why. So hold on.
I'm not your baby boy.
Didn't he do the soundtrack?
So here's the thing about this is Tyrese, he can sing.
He's a good singer, right?
Oh man!
You know what's hilarious?
It wasn't until this moment right now that I just remembered he had a singing career.
Oh yeah.
Did he? Play me a song. No no he had he was a star. He has some James. He was a he was an
R&B star. Oh how you gonna act like that. Yeah he was a legit R&B star. It was kind of like that.
Sounds of love making. I remember that one. So so hold on a second sweet lady. Oh, that's right That was a singer before he was a movie star. I just said that!
Y'all ain't shit. Hey y'all ain't shit for not remembering that. No y'all ain't shit. I remember every time I see him
I think of him and I think about these songs like sex never felt better, but I I just like you just read
I don't know that one. That's a later one though. That was after Transformers. So
How you gonna act like that's his biggest? No, sweet lady for sure.
Sweet lady without a doubt. No doubt.
On Spotify he has.
The shit naked with the fedora on is just next level 2002.
He's got jeans on. He's just,
to my point, how can you act like that's 90 million. Okay downloads sweet ladies 78,000
Okay, so hold on a second. So no, no 78 million. So hold on. So this is the thing Tyrese can sing
Especially especially for someone who's mentally challenged. He he can't act
He can't and he has four brothers and he has made a career not just a career but like boom a fucking
Killer career I'll tell you I cut out of an actor and not singer and I'm sure he makes a lot of my singing
You know he has but it doesn't even hold the shit. He's done
No, not anymore. Well now if you don't even even back then even back then he probably probably not it was probably way more money
To be in a movie
Shoot that movie get that money get the residuals from the movie back then yeah
Then it is to be like have to like go to like, you know, he's gonna go open a car wash
You know, I mean or be down at the mall and you know that tour schedule would probably terrible, but it's just terrible record deal
It's just wild though that like because I mean dude, come on man. He's I mean, come on
He makes hundreds of million dollars playing that Roman
He has made a hunt
Probably maybe not maybe not
Maybe not then you've been Vin Diesel about to be a billionaire. Yeah, he owns why he doesn't have any money
No, he has money just a dumbass with it. He's been challenged be cool
How much has he made off?
Also think about all the $780 you
got each month so that's a lot of money no but he's still getting Tyrese still
goes Tyrese is a he's he's he and the guys like aren't you Tyrese I'm playing
man and his mom's like come on act retarded
So like one million yeah, I don't cuz you don't here's the thing you don't need Tyrese in the movies And they guarantee I guarantee you they say like we'll give them a million dollars
No, it's probably it's probably a straight-up six-picture deal. That's the kind of thing they do
Yeah, and maybe they
renegotiate depending but if they really want them but I don't have any
leverage Vin Diesel's smart cuz he owns all the rights to it so you see the
rides at Universal he does yeah oh right in the close being a billionaire well
there you go we had the same agent for a while they're smarties with that shit
yeah well who knew though he just you know it's all a gamble but man he was in a bunch of like XXX that triple X movie yeah yeah that was a series yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah that was a and they was a bunch of secret black and that was
a trilogy yeah the pacifier the pacifier he at least made 200 million
dollars on that and diesels like classically trained though. Yeah, I think guys where I think he is, but he's not good
Yeah, no, he come on. No, he know it's not you know what it is. It's not that he's not good
He knows what he does. He just he doesn't have to be right. Yeah, that's all it is. I guess so
Yeah, I mean I you I I think there's a boardroom
I understand sitting around and they and every Fast and the Furious movie comes out,
they sit around smoking weed and go,
what dumb shit can we do this time?
And they were like, a car in space?
And they were like, let's do it.
You're a jelly monster.
No, his original thing that he did was like a short film
that got him noticed.
It was called like, it was something about being biracial.
And it was-
I remember that one too.
Yeah, and that's what got him into like,
Multi-facial.
That was what it was, multi-facial.
But it wasn't his big thing too, he was a B-boy.
He was a B-boy when he was younger, yeah.
He was a B-boy.
Oh, okay.
Multi-faceted?
Multi-facial.
Oh, I think.
Multi-faceted, multi, the thing was called multi-facial.
He directed it, he produced it.
Yeah, and so it was like, oh, who's this guy?
And then he got cast in Saving Private Ryan
and shit like that.
And then it was just like, oh, he's just an action movie star.
He was in Saving Private Ryan?
Yup.
Played the German.
No, yeah, he is in it.
Isn't it crazy that that's not the one thing
you would remember him from?
Right, well.
Bringing up his IMBD, is he in Saving Private Ryan?
IMBD.
IMDB.
I heard that little girl was in a building.
What's IMBD?
Her parents died. He grabbed her
We're apart. He's in it man. He saved the girl, but then he ended up. It's already yeah It's boil it but he ended up dying to kill in 1994. Yeah, I mean so long
Remember that though. No, I have a powerful scene. No, I remember Matt Damon and fuck boiler room was another one
I was like, oh, we're still like people were still this guy? And then Fast and the Furious after that,
and then knock around guys, we were like,
oh, what the guy says is this guy doing?
And then he was just like a guy that like,
now so many Asians go flock to him.
A man apart.
In Asia, in Asia.
A man apart.
Just hundreds of millions of them.
Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.
In that 2000s range, they were looking for the next Swartz Nigger, Stalone, and they
still have yet to find it.
Well, it was there.
It was him.
I heard he might.
But it didn't, culturally it didn't do anything.
I heard he made the most money playing Groot on Gardens of the Galaxy.
Oh, and he's Groot bro?
Jesus Christ.
And think of his lines.
What a gig.
Think of his lines. What a gig. Think of his lines.
What a gig.
He's also acting mentally challenged on that.
You can't even tell it's him.
No, it could be anybody.
I can, I know Vin Diesel anywhere.
This movie should have been called Fast 10 Year Seatbelts.
No.
Nick, so you're retired too.
Here's the deal.
I hate that.
It's only me and Chin.
And whoever that guy is from now on.
I said it when Fast and Furious 6 came out and then one time Steve Byrne went viral for saying it
I don't think he stole from no no of course
Sucks though, huh? Yeah, you gotta retire that one
See how much money's making playing group Steve Byrne plays group now
Anyone good, yeah
That's wild I always forget he plays Groot and
This is Vin Diesel's real names like Fred
Mikowski no, yeah, it's somewhere. Is he Italian? Oh, yeah 54 million for voicing knows a rumor. Oh
That means it's real nice. That would be crazy
54 minutes a big movie, big franchise.
Well I remember Shrek, they were saying once their face got
like eight million just to, for like three hours of work.
They said it's the most money Eddie Murphy made
out of anything.
Really?
The whole series of Shrek playing donkey.
Well it's all, if they're worth it,
they're worth it, you know?
I mean, wow, for the sequels you got 10 million.
Cameron Diaz.
Cameron Diaz's big thing was Mask, right?
That was her first big thing.
That was the first thing that was like, who's this?
Oh, Bava Hulga!
That wasn't her big thing.
Yeah, then it was Charlie's Angels.
Well, the biggest thing.
Mask was massive.
No, no, Mask was massive,
but it wasn't on a Charlie's Angels level. It wasn't on a even, also it was Charlie's Angels. Well, the biggest thing. No, no, Mask was massive. But it wasn't on a Charlie's Angels level.
It wasn't on even...
Also, it wasn't her movie.
At least she was, you know.
Yeah, yeah, no, no.
That's where everyone saw her.
And then it was the one that was...
It was downhill after that.
There's something about Mary.
There's something about Mary. It was that one.
That was like the big movie.
Oh, that movie was fire, dude.
So funny.
So good.
I kind of watched that again.
I remember thinking it wasn't that funny. Oh, you're stupid god damn
Well, dude, yeah, that's right Nick. That's right Nicholas. God damn is right
She's retired she was like I'm done with this yeah, I'm out her bro
I mean my girls come out that the other day they're shooting musicians like Billy Eilish
So some other ones like Bad Bunny,
he's just like, I'm good.
Like Bad Bunny was like, I've done enough.
Oh, he's done?
He's not dumb, he's like, I'm not torn.
That's awesome.
I love that.
I've made enough money, I'm good.
I would do that.
What about Gene Hackman?
He's been retired for 20 years.
They just got, there was a sighting of him, did you see it?
Oh yeah.
He's 94 years old, you saw it?
Yeah, he's just looking like a crazy person.
That's like Jack Nicholson, yeah?
Yeah, it's been a while for him too.
He retired and then you see him out,
you're like, Jesus Christ.
Yeah, but, well, but.
Shrek 5.
What's his name, is it Rick Luce?
Gene Hackman.
I mean, nobody, he's like J.G. Salinger.
Holy shit.
Yeah, wow, right, happens to everybody.
Does it?
Well, unless you die before that.
That's not Gene Hackman.
I know.
That's what I thought.
That's just some old guy.
No, it is him.
I know.
I thought that, too.
It could be anybody.
No, I know.
Yeah, of course.
Yeah, you want to live.
He's got his sweats on and his hat.
And he's just like, you know.
See, he saved money like you did, Eric.
Yeah.
How would a reporter know that's him?
Here's why.
Because he was spotted.
No, he was spotted, no, he was spotted like months earlier,
and it was easier to tell it was him then,
and he was in the exact same outfit.
Which is funny, because as you're all,
you're getting fucked, you know?
That's so me.
Yeah.
But everybody just ends up there,
if you're lucky, by the way, you know?
94, like that?
Yep, 94, bro. You just say, you're just like, I you know it doesn't matter like that yep 94
you just say you're just like I'm gonna go get my cigarettes yeah yeah fuck it
and I see me like who are you just give me my fucking yeah that is just what's
your favorite Gene Hackman movie off the top of your head go over my head okay
Hoosiers probably like I would have to say I
Don't know if this is right, but I would have to say like the other time I had the firm
He's the he's the he's the dude Tom Cruise
This is me movie. I love that movie. What about the football movies one of my armadillo? That's one of my favorite Tom Cruise movies you could just that no matter where you are watch it
You just go. Oh, it's the firm. I know you could just sit and be like I love it. It's not a Gene Hackman movie, but but yeah
Yeah, man, wait in that I love I like the one with him and Denzel where he's the the captain of the submarine
Uh-huh, that's a good one to uh crimson tied. Yes, and not crimson. Yeah, I read crimson crimson red
I couldn't I know
Not crimson tied
I'm thinking hunt for red October. the... It's Crimson Tide.
Yes.
We figured it out.
Isn't that great?
There's another guy that retired.
Behind...
So, Gene Hackman was...
The best was The Thief or something...
No, not The Thief.
Keep going down.
This movie's too old.
The best was The French Connection.
The French Connection.
This guy was...
I was born in 72 and he was doing movies.
Young Frankenstein?
The French Connection was probably the best. No, I'm thinking of... Superman was work. I was born in 72. Yeah, he was doing movies young Frankenstein French connection was probably the best
No, I'm thinking of the what's what's Superman was like Lex Luthor. That's right. I forgot. He was like
The original was the football move. So who's yours? I hated Hoosiers. Oh, you don't like sports
Hard this hard this no wrong with it though. Oh, he was in the unforgiven
Hard disk, it's a hard disk. Nothing wrong with it though.
Oh, he was in The Unforgiven.
He was great in that.
This guy's been in unbelievable movies, man.
Crimson Tide, there you go.
Ants, ants, there you go.
Oh, I'm thinking of The Replacements.
Look at this.
Well, this is when he's just like,
he just gets money at this point.
Look at these movies.
Behind Enemy Lines was pretty good.
Look at these, Runway Jury.
Runway Jury was like, it was the last movie.
No, Welcome to Mooseport, yeah.
Are you talking about it? Imagine Welcome to Mooseport, yeah. Are you talking to me?
Imagine Welcome to Mooseport, your last movie.
Superman 2?
I saw it in theaters.
No, that was like a, oh, that's right, yeah.
Right, you did?
Yeah.
Hey, he made a lot of bad movies though, too.
Wow, bro, but how many good movies this guy made?
That's crazy.
I like where you had that, Glass Half Full,
but a lot of bad movies.
Well, you have to make that many bad movies
if you're making, look how many movies you made.
But you made so many good, all of his,
you know what, dude. He's a guy like
Michael Douglas I could just watch him in anything really 2021 2001. He really was going for it
Look at me movies. He's making bang knew he was retiring
The Royal Tenenbaums watch so funny might be one of his big he was so funny in that he was so funny in that
You know what? He was great in though that movie with Jennifer Love Hewitt and Ray Liotta.
What the fuck is that movie? That movie is funny, bro. Heartbreakers? Is that what it's called? It was like 90...
Dude, remember?
It was 2000...
Oh my God, he was so... The Birdcage.
Heartbreakers?
Oh, that's a huge movie.
He was in The Birdcage. He was so funny in that.
There it is. Heartbreakers. What year was that? Bro?
Dude, remember Jennifer Love He What year was that? Bro?
Dude, remember Jeffrey Lefkiewicz's tit,
the milk maker?
I'm telling you, you're trying to change the subject.
It's hard for me to not lean and go with you on this one.
But she, but this movie is funny, bro.
Yeah, no doubt.
Dude, remember it was her and Jessica Simpson just
for tits for days.
Do you remember those days? I remember
Yeah, but you're the Maxim cover. Does anyone remember the Maxim cover? Nobody's saying
I got a mileage out of that and nobody's saying she's not hot me too. I read it
Oh, you read you read it right? Yeah read all the time. There's a great article about come on. We jacked off
I don't think I I don't think I ever did with it to this. Oh boy. I should have banned. I missed out. So
This movie is
funny bro I know you keep saying that I guess you I guess you know what you guys
are watching on to be later tonight to be to be great because you can watch I'm
sick of to be do they pay you to promote no because you can watch movies and then
take breaks because they did get like a Kleenex commercial in it yeah but that
was stupid as time bro that did dummy like I gave it a bit like so then I was gonna
You know that it goes to like yeah
I'm really into Peaky Blinders, man. I know you
Mucks gave it one episode that shit so Peaky Blinders is so fucking I just I watch enough shows where I was like
Yeah, you guys are too dumb for it, right?
Oh, it's on space. Oh. It's not what it is. It's not what it is at all. It's not what it is at all. I'm not too dumb.
Oh, it's because it's not in space.
Oh, it's not Korean?
Is that what you-
I do love Korean movies, man.
Peaky Blinders is so fucking good.
Asian movies are good.
Oh, that's going to be the thing for you all the time.
Oh, it's not Korean.
Yeah, it's all he talks about.
Wait, who said they didn't watch-
Oh, there's no subtitles?
No, I watched Peaky Blinders the first episode,
and then the second episode I didn't watch.
Me, me too.
I don't- it's not not good.
No, no, no, this is what I'm saying.
If I'm watching something and it's on like premium cable so there's no commercials.
If I'm watching something and I'm watching, watching and this kind of shit happens.
Hmm.
Yeah.
I'm just like, oh.
Not enough action for you.
It's just, no, it's just not interesting enough for me at the time.
I'll tell you, you know what I watched?
There was no action in it
Which was great is drops of God fuck that movie the show is good. There we go Apple Apple music
No, it is Asian. Nope. It's almost two weeks without any streaming shows. Thank you. What do you mean discussed really?
keep in track
If you don't like there's nothing every like piggy binders
No, I I just like I don't not like Peaky Blinders. This season of Big Brother is the best.
Ah, dude, shut up.
How could you still watch that shit?
That's, I've been on for 30 years.
It's the best.
You know what?
They make it for people like him.
When you, no, when you get a bunch,
because- 24 years.
It's a great psychological experiment, Big Brother.
Yeah, 24 times?
You know.
The experiment's over.
No, they figured it out. No, no, you get correct. The experiment's over. No.
They figured it out.
No, no, you get to see it every time.
You gotta watch the new reality shows on Netflix and shit.
Like Ultimatum, Love is Blind.
I don't like how they...
I don't like...
I'm all about 90 Day Fiance too.
I don't like how they try to make it every race represented.
I think there should be different versions.
There should be the white Big Brother, there should be the black Big Brother, there should
be the Indian Big Brother.
It just makes no sense when the races are mixed.
Okay, Hitler.
Oh, fuck, God, I said that out loud, shit.
Where can we find you?
I'll be in Oxnard.
Miami Improv, right?
Are we done, Nick?
Five more minutes.
No, we're not done yet.
Wow, wow, this feels long today.
It does feel like a long one.
It's really stretchy.
Yeah.
No calls, nothing.
See what happens when you think it's too long,
you start, your racist shit comes out, you know? I didn't mean to. He's like, where do I go? Where do I go?
You guys, uh... Did Calvin start pre-k? Yeah, TK, yeah. TK, yeah, transitional kindergarten.
I thought Bossu was gonna struggle, but I thought Bossu was gonna struggle, but he was, I'll see you.
I thought Boston was gonna struggle, but he was, I'll see ya. Alright, have a good day.
Yeah, my, my, they're almost the same age, Boston's a little older, but like you, you
said he doesn't cry every day?
Boston?
Yeah.
No.
He had hit in the face with a baseball.
No, no, no, I don't even mean for pain.
No, he just doesn't cry in front of him.
I don't even mean pain, yeah.
He's like, I'm good, dad, don't worry.
And then he just goes into the other room.
I'm just saying like, Calvin will cry because I said like let's stay inside, you know
You know sensitive kid right right?
They're all weird. I got stung in the eye by a bee didn't cry got hit in the face with a baseball
You're stating cry. I
Think that's more not the norm then yeah, probably crying a lot
He also doesn't hit off a tee.
I can pitch to him like a grown man.
That's not the norm.
No.
He drives your Hummer?
Yeah.
That's not the norm.
My kid's just trying to walk and he can't.
Like even when he's crawling, he puts his foot down.
So he's crawling and he tries to put his foot down
to like get himself up.
And I realize, of course he wants to walk.
Cause none of us crawl.
You know what I mean?
We're all in nature.
You're all up there walking around.
Even like when we're eating things,
whatever it's like that, he's just kinda like,
give me the cup, I wanna.
Dude, Billy's saying da, da, da, it's so cute.
Oh, I can't wait for that.
I feel like they say da, da
cause the easiest thing to say.
It is, it is.
I take pride in it, but it's also the easiest.
The funniest one that Billy does is when he sees a car,
whenever he sees a car, he goes, blblblblbl.
Because that's the sound it makes when it drives by.
Yeah, if you're in the Jetsons.
Yeah.
Blblblbl.
No, but because especially where we used to live,
it would like, such tight quarters the cars would come
And so you guys are out of that house. Oh, yeah, we still have no we still have the furniture there cuz we got to sell it
But you're not sleeping there. Uh, we we are well, we're back. No, we're we're in the new house. We're neighbors
Yeah
We have someone staying there taking care of everything right now. The other one, the other house.
And then you slept in your...
No, no, no, we got nothing there yet.
Thursday.
It's always weird when you sleep in the new house
for the first time and you wake up in the middle of the night
you're like, where the fuck am I?
That might be CT.
It's already, I might go there after this just to like...
It's awesome dude.
I wanna go to Lowe's again.
I love it waking up.
I'm a Lowe's guy.
Seein' what's...
That's how you know when you're getting older.
You start to appreciate Lowe's, Home again. I love it. Wake in Lowe's guy. See when you're getting older, appreciate Lowe's. I love nice home depot.
My ficus is booming, dude.
Oh, I have to, so I had to, you have to get work done.
You have to do like the, the, the landscaping.
It's part of the HOA and this gated community, you know?
So I made a mistake of like going onto this site site looking for someone right and then they asked this question
Do you also need concrete work and I was like, oh, yeah, I do. I want to expand a driveway, right?
I made the mistake of clicking that on this like it's called Angie or whatever. Okay. Oh, yeah, I know it
Dude, but you hit up for everything. Dong-dong ten ten thousand phone calls. Oh
You know what you did you basically went to drove it to home Depot, you know, when I'm a mixins run out looking for a great You hit up for everything. Ding dong. 10,000 phone calls. Oh no.
You know what you did?
You basically went to drove to Home Depot,
you know when all the Mexicans run out looking for a date.
But you just gave them your cell phone number.
Yeah, yeah, dude.
Dude, I'm talking about.
Why do they have your cell phone number?
Because I put my number before the,
I made a mistake, man.
I put my number for the other guy
and I didn't know like this thing that popped up.
I go, yes.
And then I had so many calls.
But you know what I wanna say though about it?
This shit works though.
It works because you know why?
Because these guys they call and they go,
I go every time, this is me every time,
I go oh my God, I'm so sick of this.
This is like 5,000 calls and the guy starts talking,
he's like yeah but what kind of work
do you need to get done?
And I'm like, oh man, I'm just trying to get the backyard.
And then the next thing you know,
the motherfucker's selling me. And one guy was so good that I was like, ah you know what'm just trying to get the back yard. And then the next thing you know, the motherfucker selling me.
And one guy was so good that I was like, hi, you know what? Give me a hundred percent.
I said, give me your number, man.
I'm like, he sent me his work.
Are you Wolf of Wall Street?
But I got him on the phone.
No, you know what I loved about it?
He was just like, you could tell he was just Spanish dude, you know, and you
could tell he was just like, really, you know, he was like, bro, I don't worry.
I'm going to like, you know, it's my day.
I don't, I don't need to have no extra contractors
It's my guys
30% off
I got you man. Let me say you some pictures of my dick and he sent me these I was like pictures of my dick
And now you're friends. You're your friends. I said I'm talking about the Dodgers
I said I'm locking you in my phone, man
I'm like sometimes I'm just like you with my phone, man. Yeah, I'm talking. His name's Oz. And I'm like, sometimes I'm just like, what up, dude?
I got it.
What you doing?
I sent him pictures of my yard.
I was like, I think I want to do it.
And I was like, oh, and I thought about it.
I was like, oh, this really works.
Like, if you're like, you have, but I'm saying though,
it's like, you have to be a salesman.
Like you can't just be like,
like he could have been like this.
Oh, I'm sorry, man.
You got a lot of calls.
I'm gonna leave you alone.
None of these people leave me alone
Every single one of them are like work
I understand but like have you gotten good quotes because I think I could beat whatever quote you got and I'm like
That's the first line. I'm in a thing and you know, we're like the same money you
Give me every time well, how much can you save me?
Then you talk to him so much your bitch talk to him so much during the project then once it's done
You just text him on Sunday like you up. Yeah
He's like I'm done with you. Yeah, dude, but that's why you realize you're just a job
I got a better interest rate on my loan. I
So many loans I did all that I was like be hustling. Yeah, I was hustling every day. I'm hustling every day
I'm clicking yes
Every day I'm hustling every day. I'm clicking. Yes
I'll be in Oxnard, California, McAllen, Texas Beaumont, Texas Peterborough, Ontario and
Different places. Oh, yeah comm are you doing on here? Are you doing? I'm doing I did ox I just passed me How was it? Yeah, it was alright. I was make I was a filling in for somebody
I know I know no, but I'm doing the Brae Improv on the 29th.
I think that's Thursday.
One night only, right?
Yeah, just one night, Brae Improv.
Yeah, that's Thursday night.
I gotta pump that up some more.
That's tonight, go see it.
Oh, that's right, tonight.
And then.
No, that's too late, they already missed it.
Mother.
And then.
You missed it!
Saturday at midnight, you got two days left.
DryFastAllGas.com, I'm so sick of promoting this truck.
DryFastAllGas.com. We'm so sick of promoting this truck. DryFastAllGas.com.
We re-released the King Shocks camo.
We got new camo hats, tees, all sorts of cool shit.
Nick's gonna win the truck.
DryFastAllGas.com.
We're out.
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