The Golden Hour - I'm Just Vibin | | The Golden Hour #53 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia
Episode Date: November 3, 2023Erik asks the guys a deep question on how they wipe their butts and the guys talk Chris' new comedy special "Grow Or Die", how their comedian friend Ian Edwards' ends phone calls, getting haircuts wit...h their kids, an update on Nick's shooting investigation, Flava Flav's national anthem performance, favorite game show hosts, the Fidel Castro and Justin Trudeau conspiracy and much more! Get the full episode plus two extra episodes every month at https://patreon.com/thegoldenhourpodcast DraftKings - Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app NOW and use code: GOLDEN
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We're friends that laugh, we're friends that shout
Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about
But that won't stop us
Nothing can stop us
It's like a show you used to love
Just rebranded enough
It's stronger, better, bigger power
Cause it is the Golden Hour
It's the Golden Hour
Me and Eric had $40 costumes.
Well, like I said, I didn't know you can have a $40 costume.
I think you did know.
I guess I didn't think about it. I didn't know, but I didn't know you can have a $40 costume. I think you did know. I guess I didn't think about it.
Yeah, I didn't know, but I didn't think about it because I didn't –
my costume was sanctioned by Disney.
Yeah, it was legit as hell, dude.
Yeah, I didn't know it was so legit.
I showed up and I – I mean, you guys look good.
You think you're a better dad than me because you beat me in a costume?
Not for that reason.
Well, let's go over the reasons.
All right.
Here's...
You want to talk about something?
Yeah.
I have a sort of...
I was just thinking about this yesterday.
Okay.
So...
You have diabetes?
No, when you're...
Wow.
I don't know.
Just like that, huh?
Well, just maybe a little bit.
He got so serious.
I thought he was going to be something...
Wow.
I don't know, man.
He can't have HIV.
Well, let me say it.
You're right.
You're just going to guess all the terrible things I could have.
Yeah, go ahead, man.
I'm sorry, man.
Gout.
I know.
Gout would have been better than diabetes.
Hell yeah.
I'm a better friend.
Yeah.
So now when you go to the bathroom.
Here we go.
Oh, start off like that. Yeah. Here we go. Oh, start off like that?
Yeah.
I'm just curious.
When you go to the bathroom, now, do you wipe until the toilet paper is clean?
Or do you like know, oh, that last one was the good one?
No.
Until it's white.
Really?
Okay.
Nick?
Now we know what Eric does.
Until it's clean.
I'm very wasteful with toilet paper. Okay i assume you do an extra wipe but i want to make sure it's but sometimes if it's like key
it's still brown so i'm like i'm like all right asshole you know what fuck you and i just move
on asshole yeah i'm just curious i feel like it's a bit of a beast for you me too I bet you're hairy
down there
I'm very hairy
yeah
well that's why
there comes a point
where I'm like
well I'm going in the shower
you know what I mean
yeah
one of those shower moves
oh god
yeah I'm just in the shower
oh god
then I have a special
bar of soap
you do?
yeah
just brown
just my booty soap
you know you gotta have
booty soap
what?
you don't make that you tend to like go to? You don't want to make that in your face
You tend to like go to the dirtiest part first
When you're in the shower
For some of your mind wants you to clean
Yeah
So you don't want to be like you know
Booty and then
Face
Yeah
Bro ass face
Just get the soap
Put the bar down
And then get in your butt
You do that first?
Ew it's your hand?
I do my hair first
Yeah it's clean
You're cleaning it.
And the water's running off.
I mean,
oh no, shit all over your hand.
That's not how it works. Yes, it is how it works.
No, it's clean, bro.
And then you wash your hands again. It gets messy.
Yeah, I get messy.
Well, if you know it's going to be a shower one, you just...
I don't ever
know it's going to be a shower one. Wait, wait, wait. I don't ever know it's going to be a shower one.
Wait, wait, wait.
You know.
Eric sent it and it just turns on the hot water.
You had something to eat that was like messing with you.
The amount of times I've taken a shower after I've gone number two.
Never.
For me, never.
Once.
Yeah.
Maybe.
In 40 years.
Maybe once.
I wipe, bro.
I don't believe you, Brendan.
I'm serious.
Don't do the cross your legs thing.
That's me.
Like you're a freaking, like we're on like, yeah.
Like we're on a fucking actor's studio.
So Brendan, tell me, do you wipe?
Do you shower after you poop?
Are you crunked that Clippers got your boy harder?
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Let's wait for that, okay?
Because it's too boring too soon.
Let's just wait for that.
And also, crunk, dude.
It's not 2008, all right?
You don't use the word crunk anymore?
No.
I mean, it's about time to bring it back, to be honest.
That's how long it's been.
I never let it go.
I don't think.
You look like.
That's what getting old is.
I know, I know.
You don't add new things.
You just have your thing.
Yeah.
True.
But remember, like, let's bring fresh back.
Well, that one.
That's cool.
Dope.
Fresh.
Yeah.
What else was rad?
I say dope a lot.
I never, never used the term rad.
Dope's still good.
Rad's good.
Fresh.
You know what a New York thing is?
And this is Ian Edwards always does this when you get off the phone with him.
One.
That's crazy, though. But that's. People still do this. When you get off the phone with him. One.
That's crazy, though.
But that's.
People still do that.
Before he hangs up, he says one?
Yeah, you say one.
Why?
Ian does do that.
But hold on.
Hold on.
I'm like, one what?
And I still don't know what it means.
One is like.
One kind of was a quick one, though, that.
To me, it's like YOLO.
Like, that came and went.
But Ian still does it.
One? Yeah. Yeah. That's wild. HeyO. Like, that came and went. But Ian still does it. One?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's wild.
Hey.
What was one a thing?
One.
But one mean like one blood? Like one blood?
No, it's like.
Nah, it means bye.
Yeah, goodbye.
It's like, yeah, really weird.
It's a weird kind of.
It was like 2008.
Yeah, it was like.
Did you cut your hair?
Yeah, bro.
See?
I said to him, weird ass haircut, right?
Did you?
Yeah.
You know what it is?
Did you go on?
You're like, what's Ellen have?
I'm not.
It's good.
I'm not.
It doesn't affect me, dude.
But he goes to the barbershop where it's like, you know, it's like Roseanne Barr, Ellen.
Give me the Ellen.
It's good.
What's the sister from 2010?
I'll accept that.
What's the sister from Roseanne hair?
It's not good.
Please do that.
Because that's not what it looks like.
If you slick back hair.
One of those looks like.
If anyone slicks back their hair, it's that length.
It looks like Ellen, dude.
Also, Ellen looks fucking dope there, dude.
No, that's the signature asshole cut.
Mom, my shit looks good.
Why'd you cut it though?
I like you with longer hair.
No, I...
If I'm your mom, honey.
I'll tell you why.
You know when you have bad haircut
and your mom goes, honey.
It's not...
First of all, it's not bad.
I look great, okay?
Second of all,
I'm 43.
I'm not going to be the guy
with the super long hair.
You're 43.
That's your dad.
No, no.
My dad is this.
No.
Yeah, he is.
Come on. My dad has this hair. That's it, Ron has this bill has longer hair than me no he doesn't i've seen bill do this a couple times you know what
i mean when the wind picks up bill's done this now in the middle of a conversation he's gonna
like yeah i love my sons you know that would be awesome it's so long you You know what I mean? I love my sons. You know?
Wait.
I like the bob cut, though.
It's not a bob cut.
It's a bob cut to the fullest.
Let me see what it looks like.
What I don't understand is like the front part is like these two horns that go like this.
You know what I mean?
What?
Yeah.
No, it looks like you had a fresh cut for the first day of school.
You guys see the horns?
I like it.
If I had a bad haircut, I would be like, oh, this is a terrible haircut.
Dude, I'm top notch right now.
See?
I disagree.
This guy acts like he's so self-aware.
Yeah, I disagree.
You look better before.
You know how many times you look atrocious?
Nah.
I've been there, though.
Hey, it'll grow out.
You look atrocious half the time, and you don't even know.
It'll grow out, dude.
Dude, from, hey, how about this?
You got to cut your hair, dude.
How about that, dude?
And, mister, you can't even have – you can't even have anything but –
Got it.
Got it.
He's so mad.
You can't have anything –
When you do this, when you do this, you know you got Chris when you do this.
You know what?
I just poke his little toe.
I'm on the roasters.
Come on. You can't even have anything but what you have. So you're jealous. That's not true. You know what? I just poke you in the leg. I'm on the roasters. Come on.
You can't even have anything but what you have, so you're jealous.
That's not true. You know what?
I could go this.
No, bro.
I could go alfalfa.
You're so jealous. You know what you are?
You're a hater. You're haters, dude.
Thank you. I can do that.
You can't do whatever I do.
You can't go longer than that
Bro you go longer than that
It's a big mistake bro
I'll do whatever you want dude
It's already in mistakeville
Dude you go a little longer
You go a little longer
I'm always curious
Do you go like this?
Do you go
No I just wake up like this
No he does like this
Ew dude
You know what it is?
How is this grosser than the wiping bathroom talk?
You know what it is? He doesn't have long than the wiping bathroom talk? You know what it is?
He doesn't have long hair problems.
You've never had long hair.
I did.
I have had long hair.
You know he had a ponytail in the 90s.
No.
I had a duck tail when I was, you know.
Oh, that's lit.
Dude, duck tails and the word fresh.
Fade.
Duck tail.
Oh, my God.
Oh, I dig that.
So let me just say, my special is available.
What?
Yeah.
So here's the deal.
You got that haircut during this whole thing?
Exactly, bro.
It's Thursday.
Mistake.
It's a special haircut.
Crystalia.com.
It is available for pre-order until midnight, and then midnight it is available.
It becomes available for everybody.
It's a lesser price now for pre-order.
This is probably airing for like three hours before
midnight so go get it now and then midnight the price jumps up and that's when it's available
what sort of things do we expect to hear it's called grow or die oh it's i'm i'm actually like
well it's the most proud thing the thing i'm proud of the most period uh artistically yes
absolutely like it's it's the best special i've done no doubt it's just it was so hard to actually The thing I'm proud of the most, period. Artistically, yes, absolutely.
It's the best special I've done, no doubt.
It was so hard to actually do, and I'm proud of myself.
Because this material.
Well, no. No, I'm on your team.
I feel like me and Eric helped.
You know what?
This guy could never have a Comedy Central roast.
Can't be real.
Because the whole time he'd just be sitting there like,
you know, fuck you guys.
I'm very proud.
You know what?
I'm very proud of it.
And then when I look in your eyes, I get uncomfortable because they say i'm proud of myself
so yeah hey hey hey this should be the cover of your special should be this what's that yeah when
you're mad you're like hey oh oh oh oh rinden but we but we uh we saw a lot of this material
yeah this is a lot of material coming out from the shadows. Yeah, and it's also an hour
and 13 minutes
I didn't realize this special.
No,
I don't give a fuck.
Too long.
That's the thing.
I do it my way.
I don't...
Leonardo DiCaprio.
There's that famous bravado
that...
I do it my...
Dude,
I don't do duets
and it's the day of my special,
so please respect me.
Respect my space.
All right, go ahead.
New Year.
All right, we won't.
Take your solo.
Yeah, we won't.
Well, now I don't want to do it.
Take your solo.
No.
Pull back, Brendan.
I'm out.
Go ahead.
Go ahead, Chris.
Hit with your solo.
Go to chrisleah.com.
You did it your way that actually you did it your way makes this song
way worse yeah right imagine everyone's singing about you they would have to do it like this
you shot the special where? In Minneapolis.
I shot it actually on the same stage as my last special,
which was No Pain on Netflix.
It was the same one.
You know, when you shoot a special, how many have you done?
Two.
And you've done two.
So when you shoot one. One and a half.
Oh, yeah, one was yeah right so when you do when you
shoot one do you think of where you want to do it no oh yeah neither do i first thing i do neither
do i that's probably my because everyone always asks me oh where'd you shoot it and then i say
minneapolis and they say why and i and my answer is always like the timing it worked out that's
where i was gonna i be. I was ready.
And that's where, yeah.
I don't think about it.
I don't care.
But I know some people do.
I decide the venue and then build out from there.
Really?
Yep.
I think a lot of comics.
I would keep doing what you guys are doing.
No, I.
My first one.
No, the first one I did.
No, but I think a lot of comics do that.
The first one I wanted to be comfortable, so I did it at the Long Beach Laugh Factory.
You want to be familiar with the place.
Because at the time, I was like, this is a great stage.
I've never done a special before.
I had all this material for 10 years.
Right.
And I finally wanted to put out.
And so I just like, you know.
What was that one called?
The Ugly Truth.
All right.
Dude, but that one.
So the first one I did was for Comedy Central.
And they were like, you're doing it in New Orleans.
And I was like, oh, my God.
This is going to be so hard.
Like New Orleans is the weirdest.
You know, it's a tough spot for comedy, yeah.
It was awesome.
So after that, I was like,
oh, I'll just do it wherever.
You didn't care.
No, I don't.
Showtime gave me a choice.
It was like Texas or California.
I said San Diego.
And they booked the biggest venue.
And then I didn't see the stage
until I was shooting that night
and had the giant
shop behind me and I asked the set designer what do you guys do with those letters when I'm done
he goes we throw them away yeah he's like do you want them I'm like for what I'll put it I'll put
in my backyard I'm talking you're like what do you do with this stuff oh dude giant like giant
no I know a lot of comics put their name in the back there like that, but it's just too, I don't.
I don't like it.
Well, it's not that I don't like it.
It's that it costs, that costs a lot of money,
and then you throw them away, and it's like that's out of your budget.
Recycle, am I right?
Yeah, I'm big on recycling.
I know, but also when you're shooting, like look at that.
I think it's a steal.
Look at that.
You spent $200 for a fucking costume. I wear big on recycling. I know. But also, when you're shooting a, like, look at that. I think it's a scam. Look at that. You spent $200 for a fucking costume.
I'll wear it every year.
Spent $400 for that bullshit haircut.
Yeah.
Who cut your hair?
I can't remember.
I actually don't stand for it as a bad haircut.
It's a good.
It's a disaster.
It's a disaster.
Calvin did it?
Yeah.
Dude, I went with Calvin.
And he is, it was so cute, man.
He loves going to get his haircut because we made it like a thing
and like he's like
I think you go first
like
and I went first
and then
and then he did it
and man
wait
just wait
just wait
till you bring your boy
to a haircut
bro
I'm ready
it's a thing
it is
it is
there's a lot of things like that
but that one
it was a special one.
I mean, I think I teared up the first time.
It's just so fucking cute, dude.
I did it my way.
It's so cute.
So anyway, chrystalia.com.
Go get the special.
Thank you, dude.
Thank you, man.
Let's check out the trailer.
Yeah.
Oh, why don't we?
We don't.
I got canceled.
My son has cried every single day for three years.
And it's crazy because over the last three years, I've cried every single day for different reasons.
You know, he's like, I'm hungry.
I'm like, I want my fucking career back, asshole.
Doing all this therapy, she said to me,
well, that's no surprise you're a comedian.
I said, what do you mean?
I know you think you like to do standup
because you like to make people laugh.
When people laugh, that means that they accept you
and you need that.
And that's when I was like, you're a fucking bitch.
I'm just a guy and I'm just trying to do better.
Okay?
They don't want you to change.
That's the truth.
I got back on stage and people were just like, what the fuck?
But I typed so fucking hard.
And there it was.
That's the trailer.
Okay.
Very cool, right?
He said he's going to send it.
Yeah.
Oh, that's what he said, yeah.
Let's take a little break, fellas.
Do it.
I need one, you know?
What should we talk about?
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How about Nick's? I cleared up pretty
fast, Wolverine. That's why I've always
called myself Wolverine. Also, no.
You call yourself Wolverine because you
keep getting hit and bruised
and stuff.
It's been three weeks.
Shot at. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We forget about the other bruises
because you have new ones. Like, that's what it is.
Any more recent shootings?
No, I've kept it pretty safe.
Did they solve the case?
Follow through or follow up or anything?
No.
Dude.
He probably called and was like, hey, man, any word on that bullet in the cop's like,
yeah, don't be a pussy.
What if, like, two detectives show up and it's like, yeah, someone was trying to kill
you? He's like, there, someone was trying to kill you?
He's like, there's actually a hitman, man, and we found his list.
They ask questions like, do you have any enemies?
That kind of thing.
And it turns into like CSI.
Oh, man.
Have you ever seen, you've probably seen this, right?
I feel like this is a show you'd watch.
Luther?
No, I didn't watch it.
Dude.
I like how you don't even ask me.
I don't think you've seen Luther.
Absolutely not.
Bro, it is...
You guys watch anyone?
Any of you?
It's cocaine, bro.
It is...
Well, this guy's great.
I know.
I know.
I know that.
He is.
He's great.
Even this one he did on Apple TV about the airplane called Hijack.
Yeah, it's great.
It's great.
Well, you've seen his documentaries?
He does a bunch.
He has like a discovery show, too.
But you carry on
um he's also mufasa he's great he is great uh kristen fucking loves this every white girl i i
know i know i know but um this show i i it's you're not selling it dude but this is how good
it is i'm like it's your haircut it's just really good it is. I'm like. It's your haircut.
Let me just say.
Brennan's already out.
It's really good.
Holy shit, dude. You'd be a terrible car scene.
If you can't sum up a show in one sentence, I'm out.
Say a sentence, motherfucker.
That's what we want.
Can you say a sentence?
This is good.
And then Calvin got a haircut.
And then Luther.
And then this guy.
Kristen loves this.
And blah, blah, blah.
And we're just like, say something about the show.
Please.
What is it?
You guys.
Hey, hey, hey.
Say something about the show.
It's a.
It's.
Okay.
Here we go.
It turns conventional storytelling on its ass.
No, I'm kidding.
I'm going to be a critic, dude.
It exposes humanity to its very core.
No.
It's awesome, dude.
I think you'd really like it.
Well, I might check it out.
He's bad, bro.
You sold it well, dude.
But anyway.
Eric's going to check it out.
He does documentaries and shit.
That's his thing is it
what is it
chat CBD
sum up Luther
yeah I did it faster
than Chris
so look
let me just say
Luther
it's like a British
psychological crime drama
television series
that stars
it stars Idris Elba
okay
and as the
as the titular character
detective chief inspector
John Luther
dude
yeah
it's really good.
So it's Sherlock Holmes, but with a black guy.
Exactly.
I'm in.
Exactly.
See how easy that was?
Do you see how easy that was?
He's less super powery than...
Sherlock Homeboy?
Sherlock.
She's Sherlock Holmes.
Sherlock.
Sherlock Homie.
Sherlock Homie.
It comes on before Miami Rice.
This whole lineup is very racist
It's on Fox
It's on Fox Nation
You know what
I just want
Then you have
I just want to have Chin
You know
They do this
They go
Next time on Miami Rice
You know what I mean
In context it's like could it be more racist you found it we're happy we're racist and we love
we love all walks of colors ah man very special racist homeboy man Sherlock Holmes. Man.
So stupid.
The fuck you been at?
Where were you June 22nd?
He'd be like, I can tell by the barbecue sauce on your shirt that your father's name is Bill.
You know?
So, yeah.
So Sherlock Holmes is like that, where it's like it zooms in on the Lynn and it's like.
Yeah. He's like.
Or Columbo.
Right.
Yeah.
It's more like.
Like, but Luther is like, no, it's not that.
It's this.
And he's just guessing, you know?
And you're like, oh, okay.
It's that, I guess.
And he's always right.
That was almost a really good Idris Elba.
It was good.
That's all I got.
I dug it.
That's all I got.
I would have to work on it, but he is cool.
Oh, Columbo was great.
That guy looks like the biggest drunk.
My favorite thing about Columbo, he was.
My favorite thing about Columbo, he'd be like, you know, he's talking to this thing, and
then he would be like, okay, thank you.
And then he would leave and go, one more thing.
And then he would, like, solve the case.
That is my favorite device, or whatever you want to call it. you and then he would leave and go one more thing and then he would like solve the case that is
that is my favorite device or whatever you want to call it yes yeah that's sort of you know
that is just my favorite in shows yeah that's you can use that with your wife too that's always
great oh dude when you know you got it locked in the chamber. That's right. Yeah, that's true.
You know what?
You're right.
I've been a big asshole.
I'm sorry.
You know.
Oh, my gosh.
So stupid.
So stupid. There is one thing I'd like to bring up.
That's one thing I'd like to bring up. That's the thing.
It's good.
You got to check it out.
I'll check it out.
I'll fucking check it out.
You know what it's like?
Oh, pipe down.
No, no, no.
In the way that 24...
Did you watch that show, 24?
Of course you did.
You'd never say it was a great show.
I know it's good.
People love it. But you're just like, put the next one you know well you asked me you know what that show is for me
billions which just ended yeah let me tell you something right now though the last season of
billions the last six episodes were so good really yeah i i checked out the show for a little while
because anytime like a lead character leaves a show yeah yeah yeah because of whatever yeah yeah
then you just kind of like,
eh.
But they brought him back
and then it just was great.
Is that the show
about the Murdoch family?
Is that that show?
No, no, no.
What show is that?
Billions of Song Showtime.
The big show
that won all that.
With Giamatti?
No, he's talking about
the ones...
No, not that.
No, that's the redhead.
No, no, no.
I'm talking about this.
You're so confused
and mixing so many things up that it's fucking mehead no i'm talking about this you're so confused and mixing so many
things up that it's fucking me up you're talking about this show with brian cox what the fuck is
it called succession yes about the murdoch family no what's that family's name what's it called
with my specials based off that oh it is yeah they? Yeah. The Murdoch family. Yeah. Oh, you're stupid.
Oh, you thought it was the redhead that murdered his family.
I did.
Was a billionaire.
The Fox.
The Murdoch family.
The Fox family.
That's a real family.
Oh, Murdoch.
Yeah, but they're not as famous as these people are in this world.
You're stupid, huh?
You're a little stupid.
I'm a dumb guy.
I couldn't tell you who anybody is in a murder.
I'm a dumb guy.
Anybody, you go like, oh, that's so-and-so Murdoch.
That motherfucker could walk in right now and I wouldn't know who he is.
Oh, which one? The killer? The actual guy? The actual guy. Wait, the killer or that guy? You go like, oh, that's so-and-so Murdoch. That motherfucker could walk in right now, and I wouldn't know who he is.
Oh, which one?
The actual guy?
The actual guy.
Wait, the killer or that guy?
No, this guy.
No, that guy.
He could walk in right now, and I wouldn't know. The guy whose chin looks like nuts?
Oh, that guy definitely talks like this.
That's unreal.
There's no way that guy doesn't talk like that.
When you have those jowls as an old guy, you got to use them though, you know?
Yeah.
That sounded gross.
Yeah, it did.
What are you, Eric?
Damn.
Hey, dude.
That would be.
Don't do that.
Oh, no.
Okay.
Turn me up.
Turn me up.
Yo, turn me up in a half thong.
What do you got, Nick?
If I have to Luther one more time, I'm going to break that camera.
What this guy's question is like, have you guys seen Luther?
There's a – you know, it's like –
All right, let's do it.
Oh, my.
Technical foul.
Flavor Flav for remixing the national anthem.
Chris, Eric, Brendan, can one of you all do us a favor and go ahead anding the national anthem. Chris, Eric, Brendan, could one of y'all do us a
favor and go ahead and cover the national anthem?
I think we just took a massive step
back. I was wearing a clock before that.
Thanks.
I talked about this on my podcast. When did Flav
Flav do this? Before we even get into it,
this was recently. First of all,
before I even, I haven't seen this.
It's Flav Flav.
I know.
It'd be different if it was a singer and they just did it bad.
But it's Flavor Flav.
I understand.
But also don't forget there was a time
where there was a show on TV
where the award was you had a date
with Flavor Flav.
That was the prize.
Everything about Flavor Flav is a mess.
Remember New York?
That girl was called New York.
She had her own show.
The show, the thing, this.
Of course Flavor Flav is terrible.
Remember the Brett Michaels show?
No, what I would love about this is Flavor Flav was like, he went up there like that
and all of a sudden he was like, if he was killing it, that'd be great.
So listen.
Looking like this, he went up there.
Oh, fake.
I bet the fans in Milwaukee were like, who?
I've seen this.
Okay.
It is the first note, the first few notes, bad.
After that, when he kind of gets into it it's surprisingly oh we'll see there you go not
as bad as you think it would be okay good yeah i like that so let's let's is he top five ugliest
people on the planet you know what dude um at first look yes but he's far from that if you put
him dressed him up and like if he wasn't dressed that shit. He's dressed up. No, no. Well, for him, yeah. Yeah. But if you put him in like,
you know,
some nice Doc Martens.
No, he's ugly, man.
First team all ugly.
He's hideous.
All right.
What do you got, Nick?
He looks like a chewed up Tootsie Roll.
Okay.
Okay, that's a little racist.
That would be a commercial
after Miami Rice.
It's a racist commercial.
Tootsie Roll.
Performed tonight
by six-time Grammy Award
nominated rapper and artist Flava Flav. He's so nervous. You know afterwards, you guys are like, why the fuck are we after Flava Flav? Performed tonight By six time Grammy Award nominated
Rapper and artist Flava Flav
He's so nervous
Why the fuck are we having Flava Flav
It's a little rocky here in the beginning
Oh say
Can you see
That's a bad note
But wait
By the dawn He's off tune Like, that's a bad note. Horrible note. But wait.
He's off tune.
Yeah, but.
That little white kid from the Boy Scouts is like, what the fuck?
I'd rather get molested.
And I did. Oh.
Why's he moving?
He's not.
Wait, he's still doing this?
He's not rapping.
Oh, he's doing the slow version.
Also, he drags out syllables a little long.
It's really funny.
Like, I'm surprised he can do that.
I'm not.
Really?
Yeah. You'd be surprised he could do that. I'm not. Really?
Yeah.
You'd be surprised.
This is horrible.
I'm surprised he's alive.
It's horrible.
It's horrible if it's a real singer.
But he's not a singer.
Yeah.
He's an artist.
I would have thought it would have been way worse.
I have to be honest. That couldn't have went any worse come on bro it could be worse but here's the thing though i
understand what he's saying so there's like a level right so you have a standard level of like
okay you're gonna sing the national anthem at a game so it can't be like someone that can't hold
any note at all so you're never gonna see to see that person. Because that would be a complete joke.
So there's a level, right?
He's at the bottom of that level.
Yes, yes, yes.
Agree, agree.
And I'm surprised.
I would have thought he could not carry any tune.
Singing's hard, bro.
This guy asked you this.
That's one of the hardest songs to sing, period.
It's even hard for me.
You know what I mean?
Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave.
The crowd going, woo, woo.
That's where you really have to use your diaphragm.
For the land of the free.
It's not bad, though.
His lessons paid off.
Imagine Eric out there on the court doing this shit.
I would.
Dude, I would do so many runs.
Eric would do this.
I would kill that.
You have to do this.
No, no, no.
He would go out there
With a fucking
He would have his hands free
And just a prosthetic hand
To always be there
Just all hilarious
Yeah
It's not even my hand
No
It's just a hand
You'd be holding the mic like this
It'd be like Mariah Carey's hand
You know what I mean
You don't think you could do it
At a Clippers game
It would have nails
Instead of your face
Or dude you have Oh my god That would be a great Halloween costume Yeah yeah yeah It would have nails instead of your face.
Or did you have a- Oh my God, that would be a great Halloween costume.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Which is Mariah Carey's fingers right here and I'm a singer.
I'm a singer.
You don't think you could-
So I could still do this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dude, and also-
I'm doing this.
I'm doing this.
People are just like, what the fuck?
Even better, you have someone, you hire someone to do it.
Yes.
Just like a little person on my back and they're just doing this.
And the home.
He's in the back there just.
He's harmonizing with me.
You don't think you're doing a Clippers game?
They have 80 games.
Maybe.
I think that when you, you know what I like is like,
you always know when someone's done when
they're at the half time of the clipper game what do you mean yeah like i saw like 112 at the half
oh it's always a bad time you know and i was like you just said cream that's what they were doing
yeah it's like dancing with the stars if you're on there life ain't good. That's funny, bro. That's the end of the road.
112 was the shit, bro.
Didn't they have like two songs?
No, Cuba was one of the best.
You'll see like Jodeci.
But Boyz II Men will still do it for like the Eagles and shit.
Boyz II Men. No, but they like the Eagles and shit Boyz II Men
no but they're like
they're in Vegas
they got a Vegas residence
they don't give a fuck
one of the guys died
so it's like
did they
yeah
was it this guy
listen
he died
listen I ain't gonna be around
for much longer
so I just wanna hear you say
I love you
he did really
although we've come
so wait so it's the three of them now yeah no he's alive yeah I don't think I don't think he died He did, really. How do we count?
So wait, so it's the three of them now?
Yeah.
No, he's alive.
Yeah.
I didn't think he died.
No, one of them died.
Well, the bass singer's still alive.
But he was like really badly hurt and injured. Oh, I thought one of them died.
He fell down.
Listen, I'm really badly hurt.
Because there's only three of them in Vegas.
I thought one of them died.
Oh, maybe they're falling out.
Maybe I'm thinking of running out with these guys.
He quit the band because of his physical stuff.
Oh, I'm so sorry that you're still alive.
I mean, I'm not.
No, that's not the hell.
You know what I mean.
Sorry we thought you were dead.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I could have sworn I thought he had died.
He just had really bad.
Osher's doing his thing in Vegas.
I heard don't bring your girl, though.
Because she'll get herpes.
Remember that whole thing?
I was just going to bring that up.
Remember that whole thing?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a whole thing.
No, but listen, Britney Spears, by the way,
I listened to some excerpts of her book.
Woo!
Crazy.
Talking shit about JT?
Just everybody.
Everybody.
She just really goes.
She had a really tough upbringing.
I was like, I'm really surprised.
But anyway, she changed the idea of what going to Vegas is.
When she did her residency, she made it poppin'.
So then everybody was doing it.
Lady Gaga.
Katy Perry.
Adele.
Celine Dion.
Yeah.
The guys with the tiger.
The crowd should come to you.
I mean, Liberace started it, but yeah.
No, no, no.
But he wasn't somebody that, you know, he's on a top 40 pop star.
He could play the shit on a piano.
On after fucking Neo.
Just in your fucking radio.
This is a weird thing to play after Usher.
Would you take your girl to see Usher front row?
He's like grinding his dick on her.
He's not going to.
That's what he does.
No, it's assault.
Yeah.
Okay, if he grinds
his dick on my,
on Calvin's mom.
Oh, let's see.
She's just like,
for some reason,
that made it even worse.
Yeah, that makes it
way worse.
Yeah, dude,
he's just like fucking
confessions.
Hey, Calvin's mom.
Hey, usher. I need an usher. Yeah, yeah's mom. Hey, usher.
I need an usher.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
For usher.
That's Calvin's mom.
That would be the SNL sketch.
Can somebody get an usher?
He just comes over.
Oh, Tiffany Hatch.
Tiffany Hatch, I think she's single, though.
But he's done it to a bunch.
Doja Cat.
The one girl, she's super pretty.
Her band got super mad.
They broke up after it, doesn't it?
Well, first of all, whoever goes up there has to agree.
Tiffany Haddish is a bad one because she's into it,
but there's other ones where they're not.
Well, we can all agree if this was a white guy, it would be over
for him. Well, no, I don't think so.
If Usher was grinding out...
Oh, if a white...
If Jared Leto was doing that?
Canceled. Oh, yeah. I don't think so.
Really? Oh, yeah, for sure.
If he was at the AMC,
and then he just walked over and started grinding someone,
sure. But hey,
dumbassers, this is his fucking concert.
Well, you don't got to tell me.
I agree.
And the security has to go over there and be like, would you like to go up on Usher?
Oh, I'd pay a little extra.
By the way, he's going to probably grind up on you.
And they're like, okay, that's fine.
I'd pay extra for a little black dick in my face.
The AMC, dude.
If a girl goes up on stage with Usher and being called up and then gets mad later.
No, they're not on stage.
But that's what happens.
He comes down to them.
He's like, this your girl?
And he's all, this is my confession.
Is this your girl?
Oh, she's single?
Never mind.
Is this your girl?
Yes?
I'm pretty sure.
He did to Charlamagne, his wife, and she was like, uh-uh.
I'm pretty sure someone has to go over and say something.
You know he's going to grab his penis on your face?
You know he signed up for this, right?
Yeah.
Is it cool if he sings confessions?
It's probably back of the ticket, really small letters.
Unless your mic put his dick on your face.
And you get mad and you're like, ugh.
I'd be like, how'd they decide whose dick?
No, but this is like Janet Jackson does the same thing.
If you enter this premises, you will be maybe recorded.
Also, some of these drinks have chemicals in them that cause cancer.
Also, Usher may grind on your face.
Like all those things.
Like all those things.
He brings a guy up, you know?
Yeah.
Well, there was that one issue with that one rapper girl.
Yeah.
Brings a guy on stage.
And pissed on him?
No, no, not that one.
That was a rocker.
She's like doing all this grind and stuff.
Wish I was there.
And then the guy like made us play. Yeah, yeah. Then she like really got so mad. Right, right, right that one. That was a rocker. She's doing all this grind and stuff. Wish I was there. And then the guy made us play.
Yeah, yeah.
Then she really got so mad.
Right, right, right.
I was like, wait, what?
So everybody's crazy in that situation.
It's probably best to just don't bring somebody on stage and do that.
Yeah.
But Usher's going down.
That's where it gets a little dicey.
He's going into the crowd singing.
He's walking on the tables.
Well, I'd like to keep going.
I still think they probably say something
beforehand. Hey, you know, this table usher
is going to come over and he might do this. Are you okay with that?
Now it's like
well known.
The guy comes over and goes, hey, don't go to table six.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kiki Palmer
broke up with her man after this.
Because the boyfriend got so pissed.
The way she was dressed and stuff.
They had issues anyway.
If you take Kristen to an usher concert, Because the boyfriend got so pissed. The way she was dressed and stuff. They had issues anyway. Yeah, Keke Palmer.
If you're going to break up at that point,
like if you take Kristen to an Usher concert,
and she's really having a good time,
you might have a discussion later,
but you ain't going to break up with her.
No, no, no.
You know what I mean?
Like if you're already having problems,
you ain't supposed to be at an Usher concert anyway.
Just be jealous that he didn't do it with me.
Yeah, me too. I just i just go oh hell yeah we built this city so he has that underwear on hey
oh no just yeah well you know just went and then just yeah just out
what's this guy want nick hey fellas what's fellas. What's up from Houston, Texas?
This is Paul.
I said England.
Who is the greatest game show host of all time?
Bob Barker.
Bob Barker, Alex Trebek, R.I.P., or your man, Pat Sajak.
What do you guys think?
Pat has the easiest gig.
Keep up the great work.
No, no.
Who was the guy, the original Family Feud guy?
That guy killed himself, right?
Richard Dawson?
Who was it?
Richard Dawson was the original.
Oh, he was the best.
You want to talk about he was ushering.
Like, that guy.
Yeah, seriously.
What on earth could this be?
That's not real, right?
Yes.
How could you mess that up?
It's incredible.
Someone got it wrong?
Rashad Jennings, the former running back.
Okay.
You can buy some time by spending it.
I'm not mistaken.
Yeah.
Giant.
Oh, I know Marcellus.
You're going to ask him to look at it.
Are you excited? it. Quentin?
Quentin Tarantino?
Yeah, that was it.
No, you're a fucking idiot.
So, wait, wait, wait.
It makes me feel bad, like, about, like, I don't know.
It's all bad.
It's stupid.
No, no, no, no.
If I was the host, I would be laughing.
You would be laughing.
Oh, my God.
I'd be like, you fucking idiot.
Anybody got this?
How does Pat Sajak keep it together?
Keep it straight.
Yeah.
Quentin?
Quentin Tarantino.
Oh, P.
You have to do a Steve Harvey.
I can't believe he said it.
I said it.
He said it.
Dude, that's incredible.
So I would say out of them.
Bob Barker, right?
Out of them.
Bob Barker.
Well, here's the deal.
Come on down.
Alex Trebek.
Is that his name?
Yeah.
He was great.
But that game show wasn't like.
Like when you didn't go to school and you would watch Parks and Rec.
That's what I remind you of.
Nobody's listening to me.
I'm answering the question. No, say you're saying nothing yeah you're answering the guy i just you guys are over here talking about fruit loops or some shit no we're talking about we're talking
about price is right that's how i know i'm in school right i'm answering because when we were
kids man and yeah and i'm over here alex trebek and we break it down and i'm talking about I was thinking about Price is Right, man. I'm answering. When we were kids, man.
And I'm over here, Alex Trebek, can we break it down?
And I'm talking about the-
Can we break it down?
All right.
Alex Trebek, it's unfair because Alex Trebek, that game show has less personality than the other two.
Wheel of Fortune and Price is Right, those are way bigger, more quote unquote fun games.
I'll tell you one more
forget him Regis Philbin
when he did
Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
He wasn't part
of the guy's question.
That guy forgot him.
I would put Regis over Alex.
Because you don't even think
of Regis Philbin
as a game show host.
You just think of him
as Regis Philbin.
I think if Alex Trebek
was doing this when that guy said pee,
he would have said something.
Because he was on the edge of smug.
Like he thought he was just as smart as the people,
even though this motherfucker had the answers.
Well, he would get pissed.
He'd be like, really?
No one knows 13th century history?
Really?
Nothing?
Yeah, he could be smug about it.
I liked Jeopardy.
Yeah, no, no.
I still do.
I'm not saying.
Maybe he feels stupid, though.
The girl from Blossom hosts it now.
Yeah, she's cool.
Yeah, she's all right.
No, I like her.
She's great.
She was also on.
She has a great podcast, actually.
And she was on.
Big Bang Theory.
Big Bang Theory.
Yeah.
She's Blossom.
I didn't realize that was Blossom
until recently
when I was like, oh, she's Blossom.
Really?
I knew it immediately.
The nose.
I didn't get it.
Also, she's like a rocket scientist.
Like a legit rocket scientist.
That's why she got great podcasts.
I already knew that. You didn't tell me that. I knew that already. You have same nose. That's why she got great podcasts. I already knew that. You didn't tell me that.
I knew that already.
You have same nose.
That's fine.
I like her.
So I'm going to go with Bob Barker.
I like her too.
I like my haircut.
I like my haircut.
I hate your haircut.
I'm going to go with Bob Barker to answer the question.
Yeah, I guess I would probably say that.
I'm going with Regis Philman.
But the more fun show.
That's what I would say.
I agree with you.
Yeah.
It's unfair.
Alex Trebek could be the best.
No, but what was the one with the showcase showdowns?
Was that Price is Right?
That was Price is Right.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Price is Right was the best.
A new car.
Well, you know it wasn't.
Dude, when they did.
A new car.
Dude, that was so funny.
Why did you have to prepare?
Why did you yell?
Because that's what they would do.
Because it would go like this.
I don't know.
Behind the door.
Let's just see what behind door number three is.
I need a car!
And they're like, yeah!
But you would always be at home and you'd wait to see which one was going to be the nonsense prize.
Right, right, right.
You'd be like, the bedroom set.
And you're just like, a bunch of chickens. Oh, you lost the nine prize. Right, right, right. You know, it'd be like, the bedroom set. And you're just like, a bunch of chickens.
Oh, you lost the nine chickens.
Chicken!
There's always one late gift
and then some bullshit.
The bedroom set, bro.
Yeah, the bedroom set.
Yeah.
Even then it was outdated, you know?
Or even something that would be like.
Be like the recliner.
No, even if you go on there and you win like, you know, a camper.
Right, right, right, right.
You're like, where the fuck am I going to do with a camper?
Now I'm the asshole with the camper outside of my house.
Outside of, no, at that time it would be like outside your apartment.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You have like a Ford Focus.
You're like, I can't tow this thing.
You know, but then California, you know what happened with these game shows,
which sucks, is like when California, it was that one governor.
A lifetime supply of Arrowhead water, and then door number two,
you could win.
I don't know!
Remember when the governor, I forgot his name,
he changed like the taxes thing where you had to pay taxes.
Yeah, on all your shit.
Because what happened was the cell phone companies,
it was, I forgot the governor that did that,
but cell phone companies used to just give you a phone.
They'd be like,
you get a phone for free as long as you sign up.
And then the government was like,
well,
wait a minute,
we're losing out on the tax money.
Oh God.
So now it became a thing where even if you got a gift,
you had to pay the tax.
That's why I always say,
the government,
man,
fuck that,
dude.
Don't give a fuck.
It's all this stuff.
Even the one about the the
houses one uh-huh that messed people up too dude because the property value what was that called
what would they give you home improvement uh right home no that's tim allen yo home something come
on with the butt move that bus and then oh uh extreme yeah, YouTube a new car with the fucking thing. A new car!
A new car!
YouTube it.
I'd be crunk, fake and sick at home.
Stop trying to bring crunk back, dude.
All right.
It's nice to meet you.
Now, Josh, my boy, I'd love to give you that.
Oh, wow.
A new car!
A new car!
A new car! Yeah. I'd love to give you that.
So, yeah.
But you're actually messing with people now.
Like if you give your friend a... You won the lottery.
You give your friend a Ferrari.
You're actually...
You just pay taxes on it.
You're putting them out.
How so?
Explain it.
Sales tax.
I know nothing about money.
We know from your
fucking costume last week. How much is
milk? $50?
No, so what?
No, just because of the taxes.
So you get taxed on a...
Like if I gave you a car, let's say I gave you a Ferrari.
Yeah. I would love that. And I'm like, here you go,
dude. You would have to pay the taxes on it.
How much is it?
Let's say it's a $100,000 car.
You'd have to pay $30,000.
Done deal.
No, it would be $10,000.
It's only a 10% tax.
Done deal.
Done deal.
That's fucked up, though.
It is.
That is fucked up.
Or what they raise the property value of your house, and then you have to pay taxes.
You're like, I can't even live here.
Property tax, yeah. You're like, I'm out're like, I can't even live here. Property taxes.
Yeah, you're like, I'm out of here.
I can't even live here anymore.
Or you call your buddy, be like, remember that house you gave me, man?
I need you to cover this.
And I don't need a ceramic studio in my fucking, you know.
Right.
It's like pimp your house type of thing.
Right, right, right.
And that's when you get, you live in the camper that you want outside of your house.
Remember Pimp My Ride?
They take people's car, and like, we put a fish tank in it.
Like, what?
I don't want that.
Yo, we put a dead body in your car
What
We heard you was into serial killers
We heard you was into podcasts
We put one of the victims
From Jeffrey Dahmer in your trunk
Check this out
But it's an ice chest you know
It's like you open it up oh shit it's like two black heads
In here
And also a fish tank
You like fish too right I guess You open it up. Oh, shit. It's like two blackheads in here. And also a fish tank.
Smell bad. You open it up.
It's a fish tank.
You like fish too, right?
I guess.
Oh, man.
But it would be surrounded by like a UFC ring.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But most of the time, it's all fake.
They didn't use their car.
They'd go source another car that didn't have as many problems.
You're telling me the pimp my ride was fake?
So was Cribs, dude.
Fuck. So was Jeopardy. What? Je Cribs, dude. So was Jeopardy.
Jeopardy is not fake.
Imagine that's the big scandal.
A new car!
Mine's better than yours.
Yours is too rough.
Is that a tattoo on his eye?
New car!
I believe it's a tattoo.
Or is he this guy like
Nick who just keeps getting hit?
Oh, wow.
The ghost of Christmas future.
Minnesota, Brendan, Eric, Chris, love the podcast.
I have a debate club question for you guys.
Would you guys rather take an open field hit by somebody like Ray Lewis or Cam Chancellor
or take an open ice hit from someone like Ovechkin or Tom Wilson?
Me personally,
I would rather do none.
That sounds horrible.
Love you guys.
Love the podcast.
Thanks for the content.
I'd rather get hit on the field
than ice.
Who are those?
Some dude just died on the ice.
Well, the guy,
because he roundhouse kicked him.
Whoever he said,
I don't know who those people are.
Is that guy going to jail?
That's terrible. Very big black guys that hit a player who those people are. Is that guy going to jail? That's terrible.
Very big black guys that hit a player.
No, Ray Lewis.
And run very fast.
No, no, no.
Ray Lewis killed a guy.
Well, he didn't kill a guy.
But he was allegedly around.
His homies did, yeah.
He's one of the greatest football players of all time.
I know this guy.
No, there's a story about Ray Lewis where a running back was on a show
and saying something about Ray Lewis like he wasn't all that.
He killed him.
Ray Lewis practically on the field hit the dude,
and the dude was like, you know.
Whoa.
That's the kind of dude he was.
I don't like any of this.
Well, I'd rather get hit and land on grass
than get hit and land on fucking hard ice.
So it's a hockey player or a football player?
Yeah.
What's the blade thing cutting your neck?
Some guy died like two days ago.
I think he was on the minor leagues, but for the Bruins.
He got hit with a skate across the neck.
You don't actually have to chop my neck to tell me that.
No, I want to really make it clear like this.
You're lucky you can fight, man.
When you do the glasses like that now, you're like a white girl on Melrose.
You know what I mean?
You can't do that anymore.
Again, it's the haircut.
You can't do that anymore now.
You can't put the glasses in your hair like that anymore.
Let me live.
You think I'm like Annie Potts from Ghostbusters?
We got to cool off.
Nick, the guy died because he just run into a skate?
No, they were fighting, I believe, and the guy roundhouse kicked him.
Oh, my God.
He just died him.
He was like, hold up.
Is that right?
Yeah.
I didn't want to see it.
I accidentally saw it.
It looked like he just slid in on him, and he super kicked him right in the neck with the blade.
And he killed him.
Yeah, yeah.
So the guy's going to jail, right?
I don't think so.
Damn the rules.
No, it might be manslaughter.
Damn the rules in hockey.
No.
Them boys are wild.
They're calling it freak accident still,
and it looked like the guy slid into him.
I don't know.
You guys want to see it?
No, I don't.
I don't think you want to see it.
Is there blood?
No.
Is there blood?
Oh, there was, though.
He cut his neck.
I mean, just in the clip that you see.
Y'all want to see a dead body?
Y'all want to see a dead body? Y'all want to see a dead body?
That's sad.
That's actually really sad.
Y'all want to see a dead body?
Brendan.
Rest in peace Chandler.
The weird part of Colorado.
Oh yeah, Matthew Perry.
Oh yeah, Matthew Perry died in a hot tub.
Yeah, with this chilling news they always say now.
I hate the pictures that they show of him now.
Like TMZ would be like, you know, police found something on the scene,
and then it's the worst picture of him possible.
It's a snorkel.
That's what they do.
No, he looks good there.
No, it's not that one, though.
He looks, you know.
As more stories come out, the pictures get worse and worse of him.
He was funny, huh?
Yeah.
That's terrible.
That's sad.
Terrible.
Yeah.
Especially when you're like, I hate hearing this kind of stuff because you're just like,
he's 54.
I know.
And all the money in the bank.
He was good.
And I'm like, okay, so I can drown in three years?
You know what I mean?
You just think like that.
Even though you're not supposed to.
I think that guy lived really hard.
So I think a lot of- You got a bunch of medications. I think you just fell like that even though i mean i think probably that guy lived really hard so i think a lot of a bunch of medications i think he just fell asleep in that
happened to be in the hot but didn't they say it was a heart attack i heard that rumor about it i
didn't see oh okay cool apparently he's on like some downers and like i don't down oh but see
the thing is heart attacks it's not even necessarily the heart attacks that are killing
people it's like where it happens yeah yeah people are killing people. It's like where it happens.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
People are hitting their head or they're drowning or they're like behind a wheel.
Getting COVID shots, yeah.
Here we go.
Wait, what?
I'm sorry.
I thought we were vibing.
It just went on the screen.
Demonetized.
Yeah, demonetized.
I thought we were vibing, man.
Vibing.
I thought we were vibing.
I thought we were vibing about heart attacks.
That shit's fresh.
I wish every conspiracy theorist would do it like that. We're not vibing? We're not vibing, man? No, dude. I was just vibing. Oh, no, we're vibing. We're vibing about heart attacks. That shit's fresh. I wish every conspiracy theorist would do it like that.
We're not vibing?
We're not vibing about it?
No, dude.
I was just vibing.
Biden's a lizard.
Oh, he's not?
I was just vibing.
He goes in the ocean to shed his skin.
No, I was vibing.
It's a nice way to eject out of the conversation, though.
I'm vibing, baby.
The frogs make people gay.
All right. My bad. The frogs make people gay. All right.
My bad.
The vibes were off.
Bird is vibing.
That's going to be
the new thing.
Name of the episode?
Vibing?
Vibing.
I was just vibing.
Who's that?
Biden?
Yeah.
I can't see.
Is it really?
I would never bring
my kid near him.
There was another one
where he like
dropped it.
Is he giving the mom cigarettes?
Dude, how about his running?
He kissed the baby.
And then he gives him some Newports.
Hey, cigarettes, kid.
Looks like a mousetrap.
How about his campaign to run is I'm still alive.
What?
That's his campaign.
I think he's just trolling now.
I'm still here, baby.
He's trolling. When he came out with the picture with the red eyes, I was like, all right, he's trolling. I think he's just trolling. I'm still here, baby. He's trolling.
When he came out with the picture with the red eyes, I was like, all right, he's trolling.
Yeah, he's just trolling.
It works.
I mean, fuck, it worked for Trump.
It's not working for him.
Well, yeah.
I mean, I don't think.
I mean, dude, who knows what's going to happen this next?
Yeah.
I cannot believe it's them two again.
I know.
I can't.
He won't be on the ticket
You don't think so?
Nope
I don't know man
I don't know man
I'm just vibing
Yeah you're vibing
You're vibing
He was vibing
I'm vibing
I'm vibing
I can't believe it
Trump's gonna be on the ticket
Trump be on the ticket
He'll be doing his debates
From like the glass
You know what I mean?
He'll be like
Yeah so
They better hope
They better hope they locked him up
I can't
How about how Mike Pence would.
Dude, these people.
Why would Mike Pence even try to run again?
That's my thing.
They say you have to have a minimum of $40 million just to run the campaign.
You know you're not going to win,
especially if you look like that with that weird small nose.
You're not going to win.
Well, how about DeSantis?
Bad marketing.
With his heels.
What happened?
He's short.
Turns out he's really really short
Yeah
No
He's just shaking so bad
He just dropped it
I swear his slogan
Kamala Harris was like
He's still alive baby
What?
That's the campaign?
Weekend at Bernie's
Make America Greater
I'm alive?
This guy was a little late
But he's asking about
What you guys do for halloween
so maybe we can hear about your weekends golden hour podcast what's going on fellas all right
brendan nick chin eric chris i got a question for the whole game what do you do for halloween
do we shut the lights off and just ignore the kids be keeping on and feed the kids all the candy
i'm having a dilemma
this year i don't know if we should shut the lights off because it bugs my dog every time
the door gets knocked on or the doorbell gets rang quite irritating after it goes on frustrating time
so what are you fellas doing do you let them even get close enough to those big gated houses
or what i dress up and i kill people go ahead ahead. Wait a minute. I was just in South Carolina this past weekend in Greenville,
and where the club is is on this beautiful main street,
and they had this kind of festival fair thing going on,
and they had all the families, and there was just a bunch of kids
and families walking up and down the street.
So they did it like that.
I think in this day and age, unless you live in like a community
neighborhood, people just aren't doing this
anymore. So it's better to go someplace
that they have like a thing and it's sort of like
you know, supervised.
I go old school. We go door to door.
Door to door down the neighborhood.
We get the pillowcases.
They never get across the
moat from my house, but I
have alligators. But I have I have alligators
But I have
When I lower the drawbridge
They come in and they
They will
Knock this
It's that big
Yeah
And the guards will let them in
I saw a great sign yesterday
It said
At a person's house
And it said
It said
The candy's next door
That's funny
Yeah
It's like we don't have candy.
And then the next door neighbor's like
can you fucking take that sign down please?
Yeah, I don't live in a place where
I mean I'm on a hill and shit.
There's no way.
There's no way.
But
I think Krista would love that shit.
Like when we move
to where we're going to move
the
I like the houses that
She's going to spend $25,000 on candy.
Oh God, dude. But I like the houses that spend $25,000. Oh God,
dude.
You know,
but I like the houses that leave the candy out.
Francis,
please only take one.
It's like,
you don't know these little bitches.
My son's like,
bitch,
please.
Not me.
I would,
I would,
I would,
I would only take one bro.
As a kid.
Pussy man.
No,
no,
no.
Your haircut says that.
No,
I'm a nice fucking dude.
I really am.
I'm a nice dude.
And especially when you can fucking be taking a bunch of candy,
I would never do that, dude.
I'm not that guy.
I'm not that guy.
Kids don't give a fuck.
They're savages, man.
I was never really into Halloween when I was a kid.
Oh, I love it.
I wasn't really either.
Calvin loves it.
I don't remember.
I can remember a couple times.
The sucky part was like you had to dress up.
They would say at school, okay, you could dress up.
Then it's just like a thing where you're like, you have the dumbest costume.
Yeah, if you're like an asshole.
Yeah.
What do you mean?
You have to like, you would go.
You'd be like my pet monster every year or whatever.
It's tough.
And kids have like lit costumes.
Oh.
And you show up with this dumb one. I had underoos on. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, tough. And kids have like lit costumes. Oh. And you show up
with this dumb one.
I had underoos on.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And who are you?
I don't even remember.
But you know what it is now?
Calvin's still young
but now they're like
make sure it's not too scary.
Now it's make sure
it's not too scary.
It's too scary.
It's not even just that dude.
It's scary.
It's not even just that.
So my son went as blackface.
What?
I saw an article
about problematic
celebrity costumes.
I'm just like, then take away.
Let's take away comedy.
Let's take away Halloween.
Let's take away anything where you have freedom of expression or anything.
Some school in New Jersey canceled Halloween because they said it's racial profiling or some shit.
Yeah, it's crazy.
What about, have you seen the kid who was the basketball player that they just put him in blackface this year?
No, I haven't seen that.
He's just a basketball player and a white kid.
And it stops here and the rest of his
body is white.
He looks like a bodybuilder?
No, he's just some kid.
Jimmy Kimmel did that though. He did Carl Malone.
I don't get why that's frowned upon.
Joe did it.
Justin, that's weird, but I don't get why that's frowned upon.
If my son wanted to be LeBron, should he just do the haircut and can't do the-
Well, it has the historic racial ties.
But listen-
I'm vibing out here.
But listen.
But listen, though.
Listen.
No, it doesn't work with racism.
I'm vibing here.
I'm vibing here.
You can be vibing.
Conspiracy theory, yes.
Racism, no.
But listen, though.
Listen.
If you were just aliens that came down to Earth-
And you're green.
And you wanted to be LeBron James.
And you were a white alien.
You'd be like, and you dress up like LeBron James.
And you didn't put all the brown makeup on.
You'd be like, this isn't cutting it.
This isn't cutting it.
No, you got to go all in.
We need makeup.
You wouldn't know about.
And you would just do it.
And then you'd be like, it's racist.
You'd get shot. Well, forget aliens. How about just little kids don't know about that you would just do it and then you'd be like it's racist you get shot well you
forget aliens how about just little kids don't know about that exactly what is it
no my son loves lebron he's gonna be lebron like you can't
what just wait just wait
for a kid that's not racist Well the kid's not racist
He might be
I saw him use the n-word
Well you know the thing is
What do you want
Do you want to remind kids
For all time
That we have a checkered history
Or do you want it
To something like that
Where this kid has no idea
He's just like
I want to be this
Yeah yeah yeah
And they just do it
It's like two schools of thought, man.
So I don't know.
But in this day and age, those parents are like, what are you doing?
They're either racist or just so dumb.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm like, that's crazy.
Sarah Silverman did it, yeah.
Sarah Silverman.
Hers was the worst.
That's true minstrelsy.
White lips.
Oh, really?
Yeah, but it was probably for...
A bit, yeah.
I like Sarah Silverman.
The context of it was probably like, oh, I get it.
But when you just show images like that, it's like, you know what I mean?
That's what people do now.
The worst one to do it is Howard Stern.
What did he do?
Not only did he do blackface just like that, but then use the N-word nonstop.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Well, that was his thing back in the day.
I didn't know that. his is bad oh my god but he was a but here look in shock jock yeah i'm about to say in defense of howard stern you know i think it is like there's a fine line like between
like somebody that is truly racist and somebody who was trying to shock jock yeah to push buttons
to the point where it's like well this, this is inappropriate, but it's not hateful.
He also did that bit with two other black people who also co-signed it.
It's not like fucking, yeah, Trudeau or something.
Trudeau doing it.
Trudeau's got a lot of really interesting ideas, though, guys.
God, he's a piece of shit.
I was in Canada, man.
I really think Trudeau's got some really great stuff going on in the pipeline.
I always love how Canadian, man. I really think Trudeau's got some really great stuff going on in the pipeline.
He's communist.
I always love how Canadian, like anytime I hear a Canadian try to talk smack about the United States for whatever, like they'll be like, oh, well, the healthcare and all this
and like the racial things.
Listen, Canada is just as racist, if not more than what they think we are.
What they do to the indigenous people up there,
they're always having protests, stopping the trains
and all the stuff that goes on because they're like,
yeah, they'll do these, they'll stand on the train tracks.
Where they lay out in front of it, yeah.
That stuff's always going on up there,
but we don't talk about it because it's Canada.
They don't have TVs up there.
But if you, but the, no.
And they're playing darts on TV.
I was on the road in Canada, and I was talking to Brian Callen on FaceTime.
And we had a Sprinter van, but for some reason I was in the front seat with the driver.
Like I was like, and I was talking to Brian Callen, and he said, where are you?
I'm like, I'm in Canada.
And I made that joke.
I said, you know, Trudeau has like a lot of really interesting, great ideas.
You know, I usually really look into it.
The driver laughed so hard.
has a lot of really interesting, great ideas.
I usually really look into it.
The driver laughed so hard.
It was hilarious.
He's the worst.
Yeah, I mean, I don't know much about him. I'd be living in Germany and be like,
I think Hitler's on to something here.
Well, I think it's probably a little different.
A little different.
A little different.
Because of the six million people that died.
He's Fidel Castro's son.
Trudeau's Fidel Castro's son, really?
Vibing out here. Vibing out here. Vibing out. That is a vibing out. That's a vibing.au's Fidel Castro's son, really? Vibing out here.
Vibing out here.
Vibing out.
That is a vibing out.
That's a vibing out.
That's a vibing out.
Total vibing.
You're really vibing out.
You go, huh.
Yeah.
That's one you can do.
Oh, they look actual.
His mom was with Fidel Castro for nine months.
I have heard this.
Pull it up.
I have heard and seen this.
Yeah.
This is a vibe, But it's also facts
Ha
If that is real
Brendan
You can't do it like that
Yeah
You have to distinguish
You can't say
It's a vibe
That's it
It's a vibe
You can't say it's a vibe
It's also true
Yeah
Then you're not vibing
You're not vibing
See I'm sorry
You're being a conspiracy
I'm my real
Yeah
It's a vibe
It's a vibe
Yeah
It's a vibe
Yo merch would be Fucking hidden If you had It's a vibe. Yeah. It's a vibe. Yeah, it's a vibe. It's a vibe. Yo, merch would be fucking hitting if you had pictures of Trudeau as Castro and then it's a vibe.
Yeah.
I'm just vibing out.
Earth is flat.
It's a vibe.
Gay frogs.
I'm just vibing.
Earth is flat.
I'm just vibing.
I'm just vibing.
A flat Earth?
Yeah.
That would be killer merch.
Hillary Clinton as a lizard person?
That's so ridiculous.
That's so funny.
Wow.
But he's on record giving speeches supporting Castro, saying how great he is.
He for sure looks Spanish, though.
I know, I know.
You know what I mean?
He does look Spanish, yeah.
No, but his mom, this is on record.
There's flight logs of her nine months before she was with castro it doesn't
mean that he fucking laid her down dude what do you think she was doing there fidel castro you
think he's just hanging out with her she was also falling it's a braveheart it's a vibe hold on
do you think that look at justin trudeau is justin cast Yeah. I would bet every penny I have on it.
Yes.
She was a babe.
I'm telling you.
The music, dude.
We love him.
Was that Will Ferrell?
That's me with long hair.
Oh, hell yeah.
He laid on top with the cigar.
What I'm saying is this dude was like...
Look at this.
This dude was like a leader of...
That's him.
That's Trudeau.
A leader of a country.
Of course she was enamored by the guy.
Well, no.
That, of course.
I would suck him off down there.
Some plantains and a dick suck.
Hell yeah.
In Cuba.
Play some baseball.
That's Liam Neeson.
Liam Neeson could play Trudeau for sure.
Look how much footage there is of her in Cuba.
What's his name? Castro.
That's...
It looks just like...
It's so obvious.
Look at him.
Look at him when they're young.
That's crazy, bro.
Is it him?
It's a vibe though, right?
I hope it's him. Hey, Dad. And then he meets him and he's like vibe though, right? I hope it's him.
Hey, Dad.
And then he meets him and he's like, hey, Dad.
Son.
And he's trying to do the exact same thing Q was doing.
He wants complete communists.
Is that her?
Yep.
And you know why he's in power.
He has got charisma coming out his ears.
What a child.
Dude, is it him him you think it is
i'm not i'm not i'm not even vibing i'm vibing that makes like that kind of stuff that's what happens so wait hold on okay that's fine the problem is people go yeah it's castro's son
and then they go but the earth the earth is flat i like, that's where I'm at. Okay. Wait,
hold on.
Am I waking up?
Stay woke daddy.
Hey,
you know what?
We did it.
You're vibing.
You're vibing.
I'm completely vibing.
Welcome to the vibe.
There's some things I go,
there are some things where I'm just like,
you see that and you go,
okay.
Like,
I don't care either way,
but I can look at that
and be like,
boom.
But there are certain ones,
like JFK, that was a conspiracy. Oh, of course. I can look at that and be like, boom. But there are certain ones. Like, JFK, that was a conspiracy.
Oh, of course.
You know what I'm trying to say?
Of course.
I'm waking up.
We'll never get the thing.
No, of course.
But there's no way what happened.
No way.
It's just a match at a time of no technology.
That one's easy.
That one's easy.
There's one guy on the street.
You know what I mean?
That one's easy.
That one's easy.
But what I'm saying is that was one of those ones where you just go, yeah, all right.
The problem is conspiracy theorists go, look at JFK, look at Castro, look at the frogs.
Yeah, I know.
All right.
That's why I said to Sam Tripoli, I'm like, what is it about the fucking conspiracies
that they have to believe all of them?
Yeah.
Like, that's where you lose me.
Because that's funner than the truth.
More fun, but yes.
Should we have Tripoliiana as a guest?
Oh, my God.
I would love that.
Oh, yeah.
Let's just do it.
Hell, yeah.
I'm going to explain Castro and Flat Earth.
And Black Rock.
It's the top five conspiracies.
Go.
You get through one.
I got more.
No, you get through one.
Yeah.
We have one hour.
When he stopped you in the halls of the comic store before you go on, he's like, dude,rael i don't i don't need this before i go on stage please don't yeah all right that's
it that it all right just check my special out chris talia.com go get my special it is available
for pre-order now and in like one or two hours it becomes available uh i'll be awake uh watching it so proud of you buddy thank
you bro watch this special or die chris leah.com i'm in buffalo well i'm in niagara falls right
outside buffalo uh friday night one show saturday night one show that is this friday and saturday
it's niagara fall seneca casino one show friday one show saturday tickets at thickboy.com that
bad boy's almost sold out. And then December, I think
8th and 9th, I'm in Chicago.
So get your tickets for Chicago.
Anything, Eric?
The car content's coming. Toontown's
coming. TRX almost done. Just
source the lightnings. It'll be dope.
What day is it right now?
I'll be in Orlando and
Fort Myers.
Tampa.
Tampa side splitters tomorrow. Two's all for ChrisLeah.com. Tampa side splitters
tomorrow. Two shows Friday, two shows
Saturday. I love Tampa.
Tampa side splitters, come check me out.
And then on November 9th, I'm doing
one night at
the Stress Factory because I'm
directing another special, Martin Amini
special. He's going to be there that weekend
so I said, let me get a one-nighter on and then I'm going to
watch him and help him with his stuff. He's special. Oh, yeah. He's going to be there that weekend. So I said, let me get a one-nighter on, and then I'm going to watch him and help him with his stuff.
He's doing well.
Yeah.
November 9th.
He's great.
Stress Factory, come check me out.
One night, New Jersey.
All right, kids.
Love you.