The Golden Hour - Is the World Cup Safe? | The Golden Hour #4 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin, & Chris D’Elia
Episode Date: November 25, 2022On this special Thanksgiving episode, the guys take turns saying what they're thankful for and talk acting stories, Erik filming on location with Bryan Callen, wild World Cup rule...s, Erik's crazy Dubai story, how Disney makes most of their money, best sandwich shops, an all new game of "Whom Do I Look Like?" and much more!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Um...
So low.
Hi Larry Griffin.
Nice.
No.
That's not... You sound haunted bro.
This is the low part though.
No it's a ghost.
You have to get the low part. The low guy has to ride the low.
You know our song. Yeah I know what you're saying man.
She knows me. I know bro.
Oh you know?
I know bro Oh you know
Oh my god
We're friends that laugh
We're friends that shout
Sometimes we don't know
What we're talking about
But that won't stop us
Nothing can stop us
Cause I a show you used to love
Just rebranded enough
It's stronger, better, bigger power
Cause it is the Golden Hour
It's the Golden Hour
Should I go Pilgrim.
No.
I mean, honestly, that hat is literally the same good as that hat.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like that hat is here.
And then the other hat is like, I mean.
And I'll tell you right now.
And I'll tell you right now.
What I'm going to say is probably better than what you're going to say.
But okay.
Because I like Eric's Thanksgiving yarmulke.
No.
Because of everything going on. What are you talking about? That hat's too small, right? Yeah, but it is what it is. Yeah, say it's probably better than what you're going to say, but okay. Because I like Eric's Thanksgiving yarmulke. No. Because of everything going on.
What are you talking about?
That hat's too small, right?
Yeah, but it is what it is.
Yeah, but it's plastic.
It's a plastic hat.
I'm not.
You can get plastic.
This is not like I'm not going out.
Like, you know what I mean?
Like, you actually think that's like you're ready to go to dinner with your wife with that stupid hat on.
His hat, equally as good as that hat.
Thank you.
But that's a yarmulke.
I'm a fashionista.
It's not a yarmulke, man.
It's a pilgrim's hat, and it has a belt on it.
Yeah, this is like we're doing a show.
This is more leprechaun.
This is more for comedic effect.
I'm with you.
I'm with you.
So is this.
Not me, dude.
I look fucking fly.
Oh, my God.
You look like a weird wizard.
Right? He looks like... Oh, yeah, dude. He looks. Oh, my God. You look like a weird wizard. Right?
That's what he looked like.
Oh, yeah, dude.
He looks like young Dumbledore.
You know what I mean?
You know what I have in here?
Calvin.
He's like, Dad, let me out.
Dude, I was...
Okay.
Okay.
We're pilgrims.
I was just in Detroit.
Yeah.
Filming.
I was doing this movie with Jimmy Schubert and Brian Callen.
So, like, I'm in this sort of like green room area that this little you know
Lady room house because it was a low budget and and what Callen's on the phone with his son
Mm-hmm, you know and he's trying to train Finn. He talks to his son
He's trying to train him over
FaceTime and he's going in come on man. You got to do these squats
And he's going in.
Come on, man.
You got to do these squats.
And his son's not like that at all.
And his son is like, come on, dad.
I hurt my wrist.
And he's like, I don't care about your games.
Oh, my God.
I hurt my wrist playing games.
He's trying to teach him he's from Dagestan or something.
He's like, bitch, I like Harry Potter, dad. I was like, you're a monster, dude.
He was like, I know.
I know.
And he's also like, wait, who are you?
He's like, I'm your dad.
He was just like, I need to train you to how to, you know.
That's Callan, man.
Oh, he was just like.
It's so annoying, bro.
Yeah.
He's not even like that.
Also, Callan, like, thinks he needs to be like that.
He doesn't need to be like that.
Yeah.
All right.
But shout out to, you know, I was like, I was this close to calling child services.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, hey, man.
Over face.
I can't imagine how he is in real life.
Come on, bench 225 pounds. He doesn't show up in child services. You know what I mean? Hey, man. Over face. I can't imagine how he is in real life. Come on, bench 225 pounds.
He doesn't show up in real life.
That was his court-appointed FaceTime.
Yeah, yeah.
But it was a good time.
Shout out to Kevin Mack,
who wrote the movie and directed it.
It's going well.
And Jimmy Schubert, oh, man.
You guys have never seen Jimmy Schubert.
He's funny.
That dude is like.
He's funny.
He's old school, too.
His note when he was like, he said something like, oh, you look good.
He goes, yeah, I lost 30 pounds.
Dropped my wallet.
Yeah, I know, I know.
It's funny.
Just old school.
It's funny.
He's good.
Oh, yeah, but the funny conversation is like, when this one and Callan get on the phone
together.
God. Oh, yeah, we get on the phone together. God.
Oh, yeah.
We were on the phone the other night.
Callan keeps saying like, you know, stop trying to one-up me.
But I sold 6,000 tickets.
No, it's a 30-minute bit.
Oh, yeah.
No, that goes on.
Kristen was like.
This is something I don't understand either.
These two are on the phone as if they were on a podcast.
But they were doing it for each other.
It's just for them.
I know.
I know.
And it was just bit after bit after bit.
And I'm looking at Callan.
And Callan's like on the phone.
And he's doing this.
Nobody can see him.
Nobody can see him.
He's doing his stupid.
He's doing his stupid thing.
You know, Kristen.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What are you doing this for?
Yeah.
And he's sending him pictures of wads of money.
Call him on the phone with a checker text.
Yeah.
These guys check your text.
Just beating each other up.
But I'm back.
I'm here.
Sorry for, you know, missing guys.
But, you know, daddy got to work.
Yeah, you got to work.
You got to miss that three grand.
I'm an actor.
Oh, my God.
It's a low budget.
What are you talking about, Jed?
Did you?
Three grand in Red Room Film.
I need somebody acting, man.
I know, I know.
Me too.
That's what I'm saying.
No, you don't.
We have you on record saying it's not easy.
You know what?
It's easy.
I tell you what.
It is easy.
But here's the deal.
I like acting.
But how often are you acting?
Even when you're acting.
Oh, dude.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Hurry up and wait. That's what I'm saying? Hurry up and wait.
That's what I'm saying.
Because you're OCD.
You don't have the patience to be on a set.
That's always been your problem.
You don't like it either.
Nobody likes it.
That's his problem.
That's always been your problem.
So cutting to me.
That's always been your problem.
You've been waiting to say it for years.
That's your problem.
He's pacing around. He's just like, I say it for years. That's your goddamn problem.
He's pacing around. He's just like, I can't sit still.
It's just hurry up and wait.
That's what being on a set is.
But you're used to it.
Yeah.
Acting is cool.
But we got to set at 2, and we didn't finish till 1.
Right.
Right.
And it's just like we're just sitting in a room.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
It's not like it's often.
It's not like it's hard work but it's it's often
very boring i mean look you're with people that you enjoy being oh this was oh god i mean they're
your boys but like dude oh i've been on yeah oh yeah yeah you get cast and you're like sitting
there with like fucking you know dude i was in the sevens or some shit dude i was small talking
i was in upstate like boston uh doing a movie. It's called The Sleepover on Netflix, right?
And I'm with these people I don't even know.
And we're in this little town, you know, and the neighbors are like, oh, my God.
Right, right, right.
And we're just like, oh, my God.
Yeah.
You know, it's just too much.
You're fortunate if you're like, I did Little Evil for Netflix.
You're fortunate if you get people that you like.
Like I was with, you know, some people that were good people.
And it ended up being friends and stuff. But, you know. Are we just dropping Netflix movies? Well, I was also some people that were good people and ended up being friends and stuff.
Are we just dropping Netflix movies?
Well, I was also in Murder Mystery.
But they can't put my boy Eric on the poster?
They can't put you on the poster?
Dude, I'm six on that.
Those are cool.
I like Ken.
He's fucking great.
The top right guy?
He was great.
Yeah, he's hilarious.
And that guy, Joe's a cool dude.
What's his name, Joe?
We got to get him on this.
That dude, he's a cool dude.
Dude, he's the werewolf in True Blood.
When I was flying to Boston.
Does he know my stuff?
When I was flying to Boston, we were sitting next to each other.
Then we just started yapping, and he was just like, wow.
He's just great perspective.
The dude's in shape, too.
He's married to Sofia Vergara.
Yeah, Sofia Vergara.
Yeah, don't bring him around Callan, though.
Oh, my God, bro. Callan would just be soara. Yeah, don't bring him around Callan, though. Oh, dude. Oh, my God, bro.
Callan would just be so annoying, dude.
Hey, what's up, man?
Man, these quads.
How do you get there? He just holds onto his leg while he walks.
Yeah, the guy's like, can you just leave me alone?
Joe Mangiliano or whatever.
Yeah, yeah.
It's kind of weird.
One of those Italian names.
Italian names.
Cool dude.
I saw him once at the Laugh Factory, I think.
Yeah, I did.
And he was a cool dude. Yeah, fucking cool dude. Yeah, cool dude. What do we got? the laugh factory. I think yeah, I did and he was he was a cool dude
It's Thanksgiving Thanksgiving happy they wait we have these two assholes on
Couple to turkey gobblers get a fucking WWF tag-team intercontinental champions over here, but like very turkey brothers
One of those weekly losers.
From the rubs.
He's getting stuff.
They have to do that.
They do the stuff and the crowd goes, stuff, stuff, stuff.
Yeah.
You guys look like regional wrestlers, like not very successful guys. And then the manager's in the back.
Yeah, there's the old school manager in the back.
So happy Thanksgiving.
This one comes out on actual web.
It'll be the only people that will see it on Thanksgiving are Patreon subscribers
because they get it a day early.
A day early.
Okay, cool.
So you got it a day early.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Patreon, and we appreciate you Patreon subscribers, you Patreon family.
And we appreciate you.
And happy Thanksgiving to you and to the people who don't subscribe to the Patreon.
We also appreciate you.
But Thanksgiving was yesterday and we didn't celebrate with you.
Yes.
Gobble, gobble.
You know what?
Before we even start this, what are you thankful for, guys?
Oh, my God.
You're looking deep.
I'll go first.
We've missed you.
We've missed you.
Yeah, because you two can't be unsupervised.
Jesus Christ.
There's nonsense going on.
I agree.
We're like gizmo.
We put water on us after midnight.
Yeah.
I'm thankful.
Well, first of all, I'm thankful for my family.
I'm thankful for you guys.
Brother, he's going to start crying.
No, I am.
No, no, no.
I think, you know, I try to keep myself in check.
Well, he went down a weird road.
He's like, I'm thankful for my Mercedes.
Yeah, he's crying way too much.
I don't know how. Fucking dude, I lived with walls up for. He's like, I'm thankful for my Mercedes. Yeah, he's crying way too much. I don't know how to...
Fucking dude,
I lived with walls up for so long
and then I just fucking
took my walls down, dude.
It's because you're a dad.
It's because you're a dad.
It's not just that, though.
It's a good reason.
He was like a mind.
Yeah, I know, dude.
He was just walls all the time.
He goes to those walls.
Yeah, so like...
Chris, Chris, I see you.
I know.
Don't do that, dude.
So anyway,
I'm thankful for...
He hates when I touch him. I'm thankful for the people that watch not. So anyway, I'm thankful for... He hates when I touch him.
I'm thankful for the people that watch
not only this show, but any of my
shows that are on, you know, podcasts
and shit. Yeah, the fans give you a career.
Yeah, I'm really thankful for you guys coming out
and supporting and not just
Patreon people, but the people
who watch it also on YouTube. Like, I just
appreciate you guys. I really
do. I appreciate you guys and I'm so thankful for you guys.
Yeah, they give us career.
Dittos to that.
And then also, I'm thankful for everyone in this room, especially you two.
You know, with, Theo's like a brother to me.
So, Theo leaving was, you know, I went through some dark times.
It was just, you know, Theo's, what do you want him to do?
You know, but it was tough, man.
So, I'm so thankful of you two to keep this thing going.
And the show, I have so much fun with you guys. I love you guys. It's been tough, man. So I'm so thankful of you two to keep this thing going.
And the show, I have so much fun with you guys.
I love you guys.
It's been tough, man.
You know what? And I'm going to say, too, I am thankful, too, for this, being a part of this.
But I want to say, too, I'm thankful you don't get enough credit.
The most hated man in the business sometimes, I feel, is Brendan Shaw.
And I want to say that, you know.
I mean, there's others more. but, you know, there's others.
I mean, I feel like Kanye right now.
But you're like neck and neck.
I know.
It goes Kanye, me, Kyrie.
But what people don't know is that you really are a sweetheart.
You know, you fight for your friends.
You know, and it's like you fought to keep this show going in a certain way.
You maneuvered through all this.
And the most consistent person on this show is Brendan Schaub.
You have been here from the beginning till now.
With me not being here sometimes, you know, if Chris has to leave,
Theo being he moved and the things he was going through,
and you were still the constant.
So all the negativity, it's like, hey guys,
I don't get it because
I'm vouching for this guy.
The best. Thanks brother.
People don't know.
People think they know somebody
because they see him every week on a show but they don't know.
Eric's like, I'm thankful
finally to get paid.
Thank you for everything.
Thanks for getting paid properly.
Well, we're not enough of this properly yet.
Take it easy.
We'll see.
We'll see.
You know what I mean?
When it's a third, I'll be like, okay.
And then I want to thank him for Chris.
Everything that you've gone through and then you're still here.
You're a shiny example of a dad.
I love how you are with Calvin.
Chris is a comeback story.
Yeah, dude.
I will argue with anyone out in the world when you talk about what he went through,
like this is a successful story.
Yeah, man.
You're doing it.
And you know what?
I'm thankful for your fans, for being out there and supporting you.
That's one too many chains on, though, for Thanksgiving.
Yeah.
But you know what I mean?
Agreed, but I'm getting another one, hopefully.
Well, let me know if the dude gives a discount.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It is what it is. So, guys, all right. Let me know if the dude gives a discount. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It is what it is.
So, guys, all right, let's start it.
Happy Thanksgiving.
But also, real quick, name someone who went through what Chris went through and came back better.
Well, Robert Downey Jr.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's a few.
No, he was good before.
Ralph Lauren.
But I'm saying as a comic, though.
Like, think how good you were as a comic before.
I don't know.
Louis got nominated for a Grammy.
Louis got nominated.
What's his name? What's's his name Amber Heard's husband
Johnny Depp
Johnny Depp
So Chris is like number five on the list right now
Johnny Depp did not get better
I don't know if you've seen pictures of him lately
He signed a big deal
He's coming back
Did he?
What did he do?
Pirates of the Caribbean 9 or some shit
I think he's like back
You know what I mean?
So we're getting there
I still think Chris did better.
We're getting there.
Wow, he got a deal for $300 million.
From Disney?
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
How do you feel about that, man?
Disney just goes, boop.
And then, oh, here you go.
I mean, it's $300 million.
You got to take it.
But, bro, that's rough.
Well, you know what?
That would piss me off.
I know, but you got to let that energy go. I know. I know. I know you do. Yeah, you can't resent them. I know. It's piss me off I know But you gotta let that energy go
I know
I know
Yeah you can't resent them
I know
It's business moves
I know
They went with the times
You know
No I mean
I just saw
I saw
They put his posters back up
For the
What do you call it
Perfume
Oh
Savage
And I would
Bro if I was there
I'd be like
Get that shit back down dude
You weren't with me.
You weren't riding with me, but I got anger problems.
You do have anger problems, but I'll tell you this.
It's an equation.
It's an equation.
Right, right, right.
They made an equation.
They go, do we want to be-
Risk reward.
No, no.
They just go, hey, do we want to risk this relationship with this guy?
If we're wrong, we may lose this guy.
But then we're with
the masses
of whatever high people feel.
They think the masses.
It's just a calculation.
But also, Disney, if you can give
Johnny Depp $300 million,
could you lower the ticket prices at Disneyland?
Have you seen the prices for a family?
It's nuts, dude.
By the way, that's... Talking about the prices at Disneyland. It's nuts But by the way Rich fuck
Talking about the prices
At Disneyland
Oh see I try to be humble
I try to be cool
Do I want to pay
The VIP price
No I don't
The thing is
Daddy has to
Yeah but the thing is
Everyone's got to pay
That shit though
Even the people
Who aren't fucking rich
That's what I'm saying
Yeah bro
You're a man of the people
Yes
No he's not
No you're not
You're not a man of the people. Yes. No, he's not. No, you're not. You're not a man of the people.
Are we getting those chains?
Yeah.
Let's take a little break, Eric.
Chris wanted to go take a giant piss.
And I just showed up.
Yeah, you're here, man.
You're looking fly in that merch, dude.
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DraftKings.
But, dude, what shoes could Calvin not get because you got these two chains?
He can still get them.
But the theme parks is where they make their real money, isn't it?
I have no idea.
Right.
But that's where they sell it.
Yeah, but it's all over.
I don't know.
It can't be.
God, that merch.
I was at Disneyland recently, past year.
Bro, the merch.
I mean, dude, there'll just be like a fucking orange Disneyland shirt.
$79.
And sells out.
No, but here's the trinket.
You know the reason why?
You know the reason why?
I buy it.
Because you're a good father.
I know.
I know.
I know.
And they know that.
Bro, I can't.
They take advantage of that.
Bro, I know.
When you write, you write it.
And I can't.
I mean, I can't.
It's so hard for me not to give Calvin everything he wants.
I mean.
Oh, I have no backbone.
No backbone.
I mean, dude.
I know, but.
No, I know.
I don't want to create a monster.
I know.
I get it.
But when he says shit like, I told you, he said, can I ask you for an ice cream favor?
Bro, I'm not going to give him an ice cream after that.
It was the cutest thing I've ever heard in my life.
How about this?
Oh, you're going to get the ice cream. that. It was the cutest thing I've ever heard in my life. How about this?
Oh, you're going to get the ice cream.
Hey, Calvin.
Push-ups first.
Just pick up some of your toys.
He's good at that.
Risk-reward.
You know what I mean? He's good at that.
Don't make an entitled monster.
I know, but if he was a bad kid.
And you want to know what that looks like?
Look in the mirror.
You and Matt.
You guys do the traditional. If Bill had to do it all again, I wonder what he'd do
differently. Matt's better than me. You guys do the
traditional Thanksgiving?
We do, yeah. Like turkey, stuffing,
football. You don't do football.
Well, I mean, it's on in the background, but I go...
Is it almost done? Yeah.
I like turkey.
I like all the stuff for Thanksgiving. Turkey's so
overrated. I like all the stuff for Thanksgiving.
Yeah, but you got to have the...
The main thing has to be the not popping thing.
It wouldn't work if the thing was...
The main thing was the popping thing.
You're saying if turkey was the main attraction?
Yeah.
I mean, turkey has to have...
You're saying it's about the sides.
It has to have sweet potato.
The main...
Mashed.
With marshmallows.
Can I finish?
Can I finish?
Like in the South Park.
Yeah, exactly.
The main thing can't
be the most flavorful thing. The main
attraction has
to be the thing that is the most
user-friendly so everyone can
kind of understand that this is
what you eat. It's boring.
But if it was something that was too
poppin', it would be too divisive.
Right? Like if the main thing, like
here's the deal. Stuffing, poppin'. Mashed potatoes, poppin'. Right? be too divisive, right? Like if the main thing, like here's the deal.
Stuffing, poppin'. Mashed potatoes, poppin', right?
Cranberry shit, poppin', right?
Now, if the turkey is the, okay, yeah, we got to have some turkey.
That is the main thing.
So it doesn't divert people from Thanksgiving.
No, no, but here's the thing.
When you think of Thanksgiving, you actually don't, the turkey is like, okay.
But when you think of Thanksgiving, you actually think of the turkey is like, okay. But when you think of Thanksgiving, you actually
think of those things. Like, what's Thanksgiving?
You know, if it was family feud, you'd be like
you know, I'd be like, where is stuffing?
You know, cranberry sauce.
Turkey would be first, but like, I don't
But you have turkey other times too.
You do, yeah, yeah, yeah. You do. You don't really have turkey at Christmas.
I only have turkey on Thanksgiving. But stuffing
you only have at Thanksgiving. You only have
stuffing at Thanksgiving. Unless you're in a Boston market like a loser.
Right?
You're in a Boston market.
But you know what it says?
I enjoy that place.
It says, like, turkey Thanksgiving dinner.
Yeah, yeah, Thanksgiving meal, yeah.
Yeah.
I love cranberry sauce, but get that shit out of here on my fucking plate.
I want it after I eat it.
Oh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Bro, it makes no sense to eat something.
Oops.
It makes no sense to eat something.
That tart on that plate.
You got to mix it, dude.
How are you not American?
You know how you're on a radio show and they have like, you know.
The cough button?
No.
Yeah.
We need like a Brendan. We need like a Brendan.
We need like a Brendan button.
He's like, hello?
Can you guys hear me?
I'm like, Nick, I think my.
It's our cough button.
It's our cough button.
ChrisLeah.com.
Get them just in time for Christmas.
They make great holiday gifts.
I got to hit up your guy because I want my woo-woo-woo one.
Well, I'm working on a golden hour holiday sweatshirt right now, daddy.
Let's get it.
Let's do it.
Brendan's button goes fucking. When you click Brendan's button, it goes Hotel Marymount
John Belusi.
Remember?
I was thinking about that the other day.
That's killing me.
Then the next one you hit, it goes, can I just interrupt you for a second?
Hot Topic for the movie?
Is that what he called it?
What is it?
Oh, wait.
Tropical Thunder?
Oh, hell yeah.
Hot Topic. He called. Yeah, Hot Topic.
He calls Tropical Thunder Hot Topic.
Kill him, dude.
Public school system.
Speaking of tropics,
you know, this rain, tropical storm.
I'm talking about that new flavor.
That new shit.
Takes you just straight to vacation, baby.
It's like you're on a cruise ship.
Look at how cocked this is.
Sauvage, the new eau de parfum go fuck yourself bro but also
don't hold your shoulder like a hey like a just side bit savage sat like savage like johnny depp
what do you what do we what is all that what's the a and the u what is that shit oh they should
lean into like savage johnny depp smell like johnny depp get your girl to shit in your bed
you know what i'm saying wow Wow. Smells like bed shits.
This is the breakdown of what they make.
Okay.
So parks are 30 per seven.
30 per seven cents.
30 per seven.
37%.
You just had a brand in there.
Yeah, I know.
Are you drinking my whiskey?
30 per seven cents.
Are you drinking my whiskey?
Are you on Kratom?
I've been sitting next to you too long.
30 per seven cents. 30 per seven percent. But that's crazy though. 37% of our parks. Are you on Kratom? I've been sitting next to you too long. 30% Wow.
30%
But that's crazy though.
37%
Are you the baby?
Parks, experiences, and products.
So that's the most.
Right there.
I was right.
Media network.
Wow.
Studio entertainment is only 16%.
That's because it costs so much.
Yeah, probably.
Yeah.
Probably.
That's because they're giving Johnny up 300 million.
What is DTC?
Direct to consumer. So what is that? Like video on demand. Oh, interesting. Wow, that's 13%. That's because they're giving Johnny up $300 million. What is DTC? Direct to Consumer.
So what is that?
Like video on demand.
Oh, interesting. Wow, that's 13%.
That's hot.
Yeah, well, I guess so.
Disney is massive.
Did you see Walt Disney's?
I think it's like his granddaughter come out just hating on him.
She was on like Marin and on all these other shows.
Really?
Talking shit?
Yeah, she was like, my grandfather comes from his extreme anti-Semitism
and all that shit. Really? Oh.
One of my good friends,
he
is like
in that family. But like,
he was the kind of dude that, he's always traveling.
He was a young dude, but he was like
an adventure kind of guy.
All his Instagram was just like,
oh, I'm on the Great Wall, but you'll be on the Great Wall. Like, you know, tropical places that you're surfing, all this kind of stuff. You know, he was always doing, all his Instagram was just like, oh, I'm on the Great Wall,
but you'll be on the Great Wall,
like,
you know,
tropical places that you're surfing,
all this kind of stuff.
And I've known him for years
and just casually,
I said,
dude,
how do you,
where do you get your money?
I don't even know what you do.
Mickey Mouse,
bitch.
He was like,
well,
you know,
my great,
great grandfather was Walt Disney.
Wow.
We have all the money.
And we had this,
you know,
I was like,
you,
you're just telling me that?
Yeah,
I know,
we're,
well.
Which I love about you.
Yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
But also, can I borrow 10 mil, right?
But also, that Dumbo movie, that Dumbo movie, daddy?
What are we doing?
It's good or bad?
Terrific.
It was a horror movie.
It was a legit horror movie.
That's funny.
It was insane.
My kid cried.
I guess you guys have to watch all that stuff, huh?
Oh, bro.
Yeah.
I mean.
If you don't know when the next Pixar movie's dropping, fuck off.
It's sweet, though.
Like, I like to do it.
As a dad?
Yeah, we were watching some, like, you know those old, like,
they're not Claymation, but they're like the puppet movies
where, like, it's like Santa Claus is coming to town
and, like, fucking it'll be, like, Mickey Rooney plays Santa,
the voice of it, and it's, here, pick it up.
Santa Claus is coming to town.
You're talking about the old school, like the 70s, 80s?
Yeah.
Stop motion?
No, like further back.
It's stop motion, yes.
Stop motion.
I used to love those.
The Snowman.
Jolly the Snowman.
Yes.
And the Snowman, yes.
Those were my favorite.
Santa Claus is coming to town.
We don't want to type in lyrics, right, Nick?
Because that would be the song.
Autopopulated.
There it is.
Santa Claus is coming to town.
There it is.
That shit.
You know what I'm talking about.
No, not that.
No, that's too new.
That's that new shit.
No, that's not new.
No, it's that one.
That's the one you're talking about.
Yeah, that one.
Yeah, that one.
The one that looks like Santino with the hat on.
There you go.
Oh, my God.
That's all I see, man.
That was a long time ago.
Yeah.
And Frosty had one, didn't he?
Yeah, Frosty's the big boy.
Yeah, yeah.
Dude, you know who crushes it during Christmas?
I know it's Thanksgiving.
You know who crushes it?
Dude, Mariah Carey, right?
Mrs. Christmas.
She tried trademarking Christmas.
Forget it.
Then also Clay Aiken.
The queen of Christmas.
Dude, Clay Aiken will sing you a nice little jingle and suck you off.
That dude comes around the holidays.
Yeah.
I don't know if that's...
I voted for American Idol
but Ruben won.
What is he like this though?
Chest nuts.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Roasting.
Oh, Michael Bublé too.
He's accentuating
chest nuts.
Chest and nuts.
Heavy on the nuts,
roasting on an open fire.
Can I request you guys to each individually
seriously sing Silent Night?
Yeah, we did that on...
10-Minute Podcast.
Over a decade ago.
Yeah.
I got 20 years ago.
Cal just put a picture up about that.
I know, I saw that.
Oh, he did? Cal posed too much, huh? I didn't even picture up about that. I know, I saw that. Oh, you did?
Cal posed too much, huh?
I didn't even look at the picture.
I just saw it and commented quickly.
Yeah, you were very rough.
Here's the problem, Nick.
Train singer.
Train singer.
Train singer.
All street.
All street.
All street, yeah.
What does that even mean, street?
That's where I got my education, bro.
It'll be like a seven part harmony.
Yeah, I know. Just him, dude.
He'll split his vocal cords.
Yeah.
I don't need you.
I walk out the room when someone hits this, when they go to the
air like they have one of those things.
Anytime somebody's doing this, I'm out.
No, that's what I'm talking about.
Um.
Solo.
Hi, Larry Griffin. No. So low. How about Eric Griffith?
Nice.
No.
That's not.
You sound haunted, bro.
This is the low part, though.
No, it's a ghost.
You have to get the low part.
The low guy has to ride the low.
You know what I'm saying.
Yeah, I know what you're saying, man.
She knows me.
I know, bro.
Oh, you know?
Oh, my God.
You the soprano now?
You know what I just envisioned?
Like, you know, your mom and dad are like tyrants.
Like, what's that?
Step Brothers?
Yeah.
Like, you guys are in the car, and you're hitting it back there.
Whiplash. The fucking drummer. it back there. Whiplash.
The fucking drummer,
the drum teacher from Whiplash too.
What a great movie.
Didn't see it.
No, he's like that though.
You didn't see that movie?
Very, very cultured.
Oh, that movie's great.
I don't watch,
I watch thrillers, bro.
Oh my God.
You Speak No Evil
is a great holiday movie.
Oof.
Dude.
Did we talk about that yet?
No, we haven't talked about that.
I watched it.
Yeah.
Fuck you.
I told you not to watch it, bro.
You did?
Everyone's saying, I can't believe you told me to watch it.
Bro, I specifically told people not to watch it.
You know what it's like?
You told me not to watch it.
Yeah.
You know what it's like?
It's like the movie Seven.
It's like, no, not Seven.
What's in the box?
It's like The Ring.
Right.
You have to pass the movie on so it doesn't haunt you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Very disturbing ending.
I even talked about it on my podcast.
Riffin' with Griffin.
And check me out on Eric Griffin Gaming daily.
Twitch.
The new Call of Duty is out.
And I'm playing it all the time.
Warzone 2.
Check me out.
Damn, that turkey has no ass.
By the way, dude.
I'm not carving that thing.
I'm not carving that thing.
Has Nick been hit in the back with a book bag?
You know what I mean?
It looks like somebody was just like, pow! Yeah, we're not carving that thing. I'm not carving that thing. Has Nick been hit in the back with a book bag? You know what I mean? It looks like somebody was just like, pow!
Yeah, we're not kicking that turkey.
It's just not flattering.
You said I had a big ass in the green man suit.
It's not flattering.
No, it is flat.
No, it's flat.
Yeah, no, there's something flat.
Yeah, by the way, San Diego, since we're talking about flat asses,
I'll be in San Diego January 7th.
And I'll be at the Prey Improv.
I'll be at Portland, Oregon at Arlene
Schnitzer concert. Paul
McCall Hall in Seattle,
Washington. Two shows. Lakeland,
Florida. Jacksonville, Florida. Daytona, Florida.
Dude, check this out. New Orleans,
Providence, Rhode Island. Dude, check this out.
New York, New York. I'm doing two shows
at the Beacon. Check this out. Chicago,
Illinois. February 26th. Dude, check
this out, man. Kansas City. Chicago, Illinois. Check this out, man.
Kansas City. Chicago, Illinois. Chicago Theater.
Check this out, dude.
Tulsa, Oklahoma. Midland, Texas. Check this out.
Austin, Texas. Check this out.
Minneapolis. What the fuck?
Too many dates.
What the fuck?
Boise, Idaho. What the fuck?
Crystalia.com.
Show, man.
Happy Thanksgiving. Hey, Dallas. Show, man. Happy Thanksgiving.
Hey, Dallas, tomorrow or today since you're watching the Patreon tomorrow, the rest of
you today, I'm at the Addison Improv right now.
Great club.
Come on and check me out.
And then next week after that, Chicago, Zanies.
And that's it.
Come see me.
And that's it.
But check this out.
I'm in Rhode Island, Providence, December 1st.
Providence, Rhode Island, unless maybe you're Spanish. Providence, Rhode Island, yes. No, I do it backwards in Rhode Island, Providence, December 1st. Providence, Rhode Island, unless maybe you're Spanish.
Providence, Rhode Island, yes.
No, I do it backwards.
Rhode Island, Providence.
Rhode Island, the Providence of Rhode Island.
Russian, you're doing my accent.
December 1 through the 3rd, I'm at the Comedy Connection, Rhode Island.
And then December, I think it's 13th through the 15th,
DC Improv with the best clubs.
That's my last tour date for 2022, the Oh He Thick Tour.
And then 2023,
look for...
Oh, it's getting lit.
Possibly the three of us
being out there,
you know?
Doing a lot of work,
but yeah.
You just put out 90,000 dates.
Check this out, though.
But I will be in Austin, yeah.
So chrislee.com,
I will be in, yeah.
I will be in New York.
This dropped on Black Friday.
This, the brown,
the heads.
I got you, Doug.
Yeah.
I got one for you.
I like the other one.
I'm just going to get a tattoo of that across my chest.
Wow, imagine if I did that.
All right.
So, all right, speaking of thick.
What do you mean imagine if you would do that?
If I got a tattoo of thick across my chest?
You already have a stupid tattoo on your neck.
But, bro.
This would be like right on par.
Thick life?
Thick life, yeah.
Or like Tupac.
How about thick rips?
That's a collab, yeah.
Ah, thick rips. That's not a bad idea. That should be your fucking shirt. Thick rips. That's a collab, yeah. Ah, Thick Rips.
That's not a bad idea.
That should be a fucking shirt.
Thick Rips.
That's not a bad idea at all.
Right?
I like it.
Thick Rips, yeah.
And then underneath it,
woo, woo, woo, woo, woo.
Wow, real collab.
Like Jesus Christ.
Speaking of Thick,
let's see what this big boy wants, man.
Hey, what's up?
Chris, Eric.
The gringo papacito.
It's Frank from El Monte.
I just wanted to hear your thoughts on, you know, we're not doing theater anymore.
I don't know if you call it a theater or a hater.
I don't know what you call it.
But I just want to hear your thoughts on the World Cup.
You've got a lot of international listeners, so people kind of dig to hear that.
Chris, take this.
Thoughts on what?
I will. The World Cup. It started last Sunday. Oh, I love it. I will. listeners so people kind of dig to hear that chris take this thoughts on what i will the world
cup oh it started last sunday oh i love it i will i uh i don't want to have to wake up at 3 a.m to
catch a game do you know what i'm talking about you don't have to so 100 so that's why like olympics
yeah i'm out yeah if it's not in the united states i'm out yeah i'm not awake and i don't want to
see tape delay because something about sports i want to see it live dude that's the that's the weirdest thing when people are like, don't tell me what happened.
Don't tell me what happened.
I got to watch it later.
Yeah, it's like, no, no.
What, bro?
That's out in the universe.
That energy is out there.
I need to know.
I don't like getting up for a late start.
And soccer or football on TV is not as good.
There's something about it on TV that it's not.
But World Cup's pretty lit because the best of the best.
Here's my problem.
My girl's Mexican.
Shit, right?
So she puts my children, who are half Mexican, I always forget,
in the Mexican jerseys.
But I'm English because, you know, it's weird.
But I'm English, so I want to put them in the English jerseys.
So it's a real dilemma around the crib.
Because I'm first team all England here.
And England's good at soccer.
They've been letting us down like Prince Harry.
They've been letting us down, but
they're damn good. The USA team,
our women's team smashes
every bitch.
They just dominate.
I don't know.
Yeah, that's the crazy thing about this World Cup.
It was supposed to be during the pandemic, I believe.
Yeah, and they pushed it back. I've actually been to Qatar. That's a crazy thing about this World Cup. It was supposed to be during the pandemic, I believe. Yeah, and they pushed it back.
I've actually been to Qatar.
That's a crazy city.
Crazy cool?
Well, it's super hot, but it's so wealthy.
Yeah.
They are so different.
They say the richest people are out there, but they're not on the Forbes top 10 because
they don't want to be on it.
They don't want people to know, but the crazy thing is these are the kind of people that
they own Miramax films or they
own things that you would go, oh, wow.
They own half of that?
That's why people are like, Jews own everything.
I'm like, ooh.
Yeah.
But it's super strict there.
Meaning?
Like women can't sneeze.
There's a sign that got posted, and evidently it's being fact-checked right now.
That was funny.
Thank you.
Achoo! Where'd you got me? Achoo! a sign that got posted and evidently it's being like fact checked right now that was funny thank you i chew it's just a red dot she's trying to help some guy runs it with poison
women can't sneeze it's strict out there the man man's sitting right there. Oh, look at this.
He's like, hold it in.
He's all, don't do it.
Don't do it.
No drinking.
No homosexuality.
I'm out.
What does that even mean at the game?
What are you, like, watching?
Yay.
No, you know what?
You can't do that anywhere, really.
If you're like this.
No, it's a, yes.
Kill him.
Yeah, I don't understand.
Yes.
Let me see that list. You go like this. Look, look, look. a yes. Kill him. Yeah, I don't understand. Let me see that list.
You go like this.
Look, look, look.
All right.
Woo.
No immodesty.
So you can't show your skin.
Dating?
Just straight up dating.
So there's no homosexuality or heterosexuality.
I'm with this, man.
Not respecting places of worship.
Like what?
Do they have a mosque at the fucking theater? The place? I don't this, man. Not respecting places of worship. Like, what? Do they have a mosque at the fucking theater?
The place?
I don't know.
Yeah, but don't bring that shit up in the stadium.
So loud music and sound.
It's just a quiet arena.
And sound.
So you can't fart.
You can't just be like, woo.
What was the other one?
No dating.
No dating. You ain't hooking What was the other one No dating No dating
You ain't hooking up
At the park bro
No dating
I respect this shit
Taking people's pictures
Without their permission
Yes
Okay well that's the one
I can agree with
Yeah
Praise Allah
That's the one on the list
Where I go okay
Praise Allah
I agree with no
Taking pictures
Yeah and
Other than that
About profanity
At a sporting event
Loud music and sounds
Is kind of what you go for
Yeah
So drinking alcohol I mean that makes it less fights.
No dating?
So if you're like, damn, girl, what is positive?
What does dating even mean?
I'm sure if you're asking for a number.
Holding hands, kissing.
Maybe you're walking in and they're like, are you guys married?
And they're like, we're just dating.
And they're like, I'm sorry, you can't come in?
Or if you see a hot girl in the whole getup, and you're like, yeah, damn.
Yo, let me get your number.
So that was going viral.
Yeah, I saw that, I think.
It was getting fact-checked, and people were saying it wasn't real now.
But just yesterday, this was, I believe, a Dutch reporter.
And they have a permit to be on the street, and they got in trouble for noise.
Well, it's definitely a Dutch reporter because look at them, but yeah.
They get rolled up on.
It's too loud.
It's way too loud.
I'm with these guys. Way too loud.
Way too loud.
He's like, we didn't though. We invited the whole world to come here. Why can't we film?
He's like, we didn't, though.
We invite the soccer team.
We can film anywhere we want.
There are only, of course.
That guy in the get-up is like, all right, bitch.
See what happens.
Okay, so you know what?
I respect this.
Have you guys been to Dubai?
Not never.
Brendan's talking too much over this, huh?
They're not speaking English, right?
But I'd like to see what's going on here.
The Dutch guy was. So what's going on?
So he fucking literally because he was talking and
doing that? Yeah, and they just said
like, first of all, I don't think they
thought it was on live national television, so
they were going to shut it down. But he told them,
he's like, we're live on Dutch TV, and one of
the guys like waves at him.
There's like a hilarious.
Right, right, right.
Wow.
You got to respect it though, man.
Mr. Bean just waving.
That's Mr. Bean.
That's Mr. Bean, dude.
A tan, Mr. Bean.
Oh, my God. You got a tan?
But yeah, just people are worried it's going to be wild.
And like people getting in trouble for immodesty.
Right, right.
But not wild.
Wild as in people disappearing.
This weird kind of police are always around.
I remember being at the Dubai airport.
Why were you there?
Doing comedy, man.
They pay a lot of money.
He was one of those Insta-hoes.
I want you to let me finish.
I'm just saying, why were you there?
So I was doing comedy.
I was with Rusty Dooley.
We got stopped at the airport by a dude that just looked like.
Some dude? Yeah, just a regular dude. And we were just kind of like, yeah, dude, we're cool Dooley. And we got stopped at the airport by a dude that just looked like. Some dude?
Yeah, like just a regular dude.
And we were just kind of like, yeah, dude, we're cool, man.
And he pulls out a badge.
You know, he's like.
But he was like, it looked like he was 17.
Wow.
Just sweating us for no reason.
You know?
And it's like, that's what goes on.
And what did they want?
I don't know what they.
The guy just was like.
Shaked you down?
Yeah.
It wasn't necessarily a shakedown so much.
It was like, the guy was just like, guy was just showing his authority for no fucking reason.
Yeah, I respect that.
Yeah, but Rusty Dooley probably had a lot of weird shit with him.
I respect that.
Do you know who he is?
No.
He's a big-time prop cop.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He has a bunch of props.
Yeah, yeah.
He would have one of those squeeze it and the boxing thing comes out.
You know what I mean?
And then just like a rubber turkey. I haven that i know i know you see britney grinder's
uh trending you know why no i went missing oh jesus russia though right but no she didn't
they took they sent her to the colony no they don't they don't know where she's at
what bring it up oh Well, that's terrible.
See?
People don't call you Russian.
Dude, that whole thing is so scary, bro.
But they're not saying.
Imagine.
First of all, you're living there already.
You're playing basketball for years.
Winning championships and being like a.
You think you're a star in that country because that's the only way women really make a lot of money is in foreign countries for basketball.
Women's basketball.
Yeah, women's basketball.
And then all of a sudden now, you know,
you have like, let me tell you how much weed it is.
You know what I mean? And then
because of political shit, you're
in a colony.
She could do
whatever she wanted, carte blanche, because she had
the oligarch in her pocket because he owns the
team. So whenever she had an issue, she just
calls him and he's like, yeah, let her through. But then
that bitch had to evade Russia and Ukraine.
He was on a yacht.
And he's like, he left his cell phone and everything.
So she didn't have any help.
Oh, God.
I bet she likes America now, though, right?
It's not that she didn't like America.
Oh, she talks so much shit about it.
Yeah, but because America don't like her.
She's a tall, black, lesbian woman.
You think that
She got car blanche walking around
Every place
In America
She's the best basketball player on earth
Well okay
You see what I did there
You didn't let me finish
You don't let that
Oops play
There you go There you go You don't let that oops play, bro.
There you go.
There you go.
One for the good guys.
This is why you can't be on Super Bowl.
Yeah.
Oh, it was mayhem. This is what I'm talking about.
It was mayhem when you weren't here.
This is what I'm saying.
She got a neck tattoo, though.
That's cool.
I got one of those.
Oh, this girl's excited.
Yeah.
I like it.
Here we go.
Hey, guys.
I'm Clara.
Filming this in Colorado Springs, Colorado
so I'm about an hour south
of Denver, so shout out Chris, I've now seen you
twice in Denver
shout out Brendan for being from Denver
anyway, I have a sour
or power question for you guys today
quick side note, I work in marketing
and my professional advice would be maybe
workshop that title name a little bit
but anyway, wanted to hear your thoughts on Black
Friday shopping. If you guys go or
if your wives go or
get some free kids or whatever.
I can kind of guess what you're going to say, but
I thought it would be interesting to
hear your thoughts.
Love the show. Thanks,
guys. Very judgy.
She was very...
As a marketing person, she was like, don't like Golden Hour. That's what friendly. Judgy. She was very clear. As a marketing person, she was
like, don't like golden hour.
That's what she basically said.
We like that. First of all,
Black Friday shopping doesn't exist anymore.
Nope. The internet is a thing
now. Correct. 24-7.
Yeah. 365 days a year. You go on Amazon
the day before, like two days
before Christmas. You can order whatever you want.
It's cyber. It shows up the next day.
Cyber Monday. Wrapped and ready to go.
Black Friday is not a thing
anymore. It's not a thing. Well, it is
in the case that you can get deals then.
I know, but you don't have to go.
But now everybody's like, if you're a company
now and you're like, why are we waiting until Friday?
Hey, get a deal. They do that now.
They're like, Wednesday you can get a deal.
Right, right, right.
Even with our guys that do the merch. Even with our guys doing the merch. hey get a deal they do that now they're like Wednesday you can get a deal right right right because even with
our guys that do the
merch
even with our guys
doing the merch
I was like
oh we'll drop it
on Black Friday
he's like
it really doesn't
matter these days
you drop it that week
up
yeah but people are
trained for Black Friday
though and they're
waiting and they're
waiting and they know
that Black Friday
they're going to get
big deals
as the oldest person
here
yeah
Black Friday was
a monster
oh no no
I know that
oh when people were like stabbing each other for big screen TVs?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That shit was lit on Worldstar.
I look forward to Monday after Black Friday.
No, I just remember one of my old, old girlfriends.
She was all about this shopping thing, and it was just a nightmare.
I'm just like, do you go shopping with your ladies?
Have you ever gone shopping?
Oh, yeah.
It's like, I realize why they have chairs inside the stores.
That's for us.
Oh, I know.
A hundred percent. They're comfy. inside the stores. That's for us. Oh, I know.
100%. You know, I'm just sitting.
They're comfy.
You know?
They're great.
She just comes over.
What do you think of this?
Yeah.
It's a blue dress, bitch.
It looks fucking fine.
No, no, no.
The worst is this or this.
And you go, that one.
And she goes, I'm going to get this one.
And you're like, then why are you asking?
Yeah.
It was just a test for me.
Would she bring six
things i know that i have to one of them i have to just pretend like i don't like it oh good you
have to act like you're invested you know that's the one i don't like yeah any of the others yeah
yeah yeah because then she's like oh okay you know but i don't you had input kind of in a way yeah
yeah yeah who gives a fuck i don't care you't care. You know, I don't care.
You look good in all of this.
You look good.
And then I'm like, how come they don't accept that?
You look the same in everything.
I think you look great in all of this.
They don't accept that.
You could be in a trash bag. There has to be a couple of them where it's like, you look really great.
Great.
I don't think you should get that one.
Have you ever had to tell your girl to dress down?
Dress down? No. Oh, I got to think you should get that one. Have you ever had to tell your girl to dress down? Dress down?
No.
I got to tell you something.
Rachel, she's been a fashion model for like 17 years.
She really can wear anything, and it's going to look like she should be on the runway.
It's just a slight flex.
It just sits on her like that.
Yeah, she has the body for it.
Yeah, but it's not like – that's what I'm saying, though.
I tell Kristen, I'm like, show it off a little bit, you know? Because she's like, I'm a
mom, you know, that kind of stuff.
Is she trying to pull that I'm a mom part?
No, she's just like that. She's wearing turtlenecks now?
I've never seen a girl dressed down
with a fanny pack. She's super classy.
Yeah, classy. Which I appreciate.
Oh, you mean dressed down as in
sweats? I've never
seen her sweats in public.
Yeah, if we go see a movie or something.
Without makeup?
If we go see a movie.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She would.
But she's dark.
But she likes to be put together, though.
I didn't see that.
That's what I'm saying.
She's still in that vein zone.
What do you mean?
Well, they just like, she's like, I'm not just going out, you know?
I don't know if that's vein.
Kind of, yeah.
But also, yeah.
But also, she'll post on social media with that and like have stories and not be all done up and stuff.
Just a few filters.
But I bet.
She's okay with it.
Calvin's involved in those posts.
I don't know.
That's the out.
Why isn't she?
Oh, her kid.
Right.
My girl's body is ridiculous.
Her big tits.
Her tits, if I'm not around, I'm like, hey, man.
Tell us more about your wife's tits.
Can you cover up?
I mean, big tits are big tits.
It's the world.
It's what it is.
It's the world we live in.
When she goes out and I'm not there, I'm like, you didn't go to this kid's birthday party?
He's just like, my wife's pussy, it's so tight.
And so she's like, wait, we can't tell that.
What are you doing it for?
Why are your tits out at a kid's birthday party?
Oh, she does that.
Can you zip it up like that?
It's not.
Dude, no.
Who's it for?
It's for these other moms at the party.
Flex on the moms.
Yeah, they're going to go, hey, got two kids, still looking delicious.
It's not for men.
Yeah, you're right.
It's for other women.
Well, there is the line of, you know, and I don't know how your wife dresses out all the time,
but, like, there is the line of this is for women and then whoopsie daisy, this is a little for the men, right?
Like there is that line
where it's like low enough for the men, right?
Where is that?
Is that like?
Well, I don't know.
You know, it depends on,
you got them,
you got the hangers,
then it's like, you know what I mean?
But if you got,
if you don't have that
and then you got the, right?
Or if you're the nice classy
and you let the fucking shoulders peak out, right?
It all depends on the woman.
That's right.
Well, where you are and all that.
Bitches be crazy.
I don't.
I wasn't.
Yeah, that's not really.
No, I just want to button that up.
Neither one of us are going to endorse that.
Bitches be crazy.
Oh, my God.
So sour, non-existent Black Friday.
We're sour.
No, it's a digital world with some digital girls.
Yeah.
What's up, guys?
This is Spencer from Nashville.
Love the show.
Love the rebrand.
You guys are crushing it.
I've got a debate club for y'all today.
I want to know what is the greatest sandwich brand in the world.
Sandwich brand?
I'd love to hear what y'all think.
What is brand?
Like Jimmy John's, Subway, Blippi?
I asked for clarification. He said sandwich places.
That's what he means.
Oh, well, hands.
There's no question, Jersey Mike's.
No question.
Are you kidding me?
I don't think so either.
I'll take Quiznos over Jersey Mike's.
A hot sub?
A hot sub in that mouth?
Put it under my nose again, dude.
Chris, I mean...
Can you get a hot sub?
It's not hard to touch under your nose.
I'm lightheaded.
Can you see some oxygen?
I think, like...
Are we going, like, all...
No, Jersey Mike's, period.
Done.
Done deal.
Next.
Next one.
Cantor's is better than Jersey Mike's.
Bro, that's a sandwich place.
Yes, it is.
That's a restaurant.
You're talking about chains?
It's a deli.
It's a deli.
Jersey Mike's is the best sandwich place.
You're out of your mind.
Done deal.
Just because you're from Jersey.
This is lame.
No, that's not even why.
I didn't even have Jersey Mike's until I was out here in California.
Because it's not a real town.
It's not from Jersey.
Get down.
Get down. You're so stupid. Jersey Mike's from Jersey. Get down. Get down.
You're so stupid.
Jersey.
How is he by your shoulder?
Why did I do it?
Get down.
Yeah, dude.
It was like you were going to do a dance-off.
Get down.
You know, this is kind of fancy, but Mendocino Farm sandwiches?
No, bro.
Dude, we're thick.
Too fancy, bro.
You're too skinny.
You know what you guys are?
You know what you guys are? Fancy. Suckers, bro. You're too skinny. Take two. You know what you guys are?
Fancy.
Suckers, bro.
Are you?
You guys are.
Jersey Bites.
You're the chain restaurant.
You might as well have said Subway.
No, because here's the thing.
They're the same thing.
No, they're the same thing.
Here's the deal.
That's your competitor.
No, because here's the deal.
You go, oh, this is what everybody likes.
Ooh, the nice frilly bullshit.
The fucking Mendocino Farms.
The fucking, what is the other one you said? What's the other one you said? Cantor's. Cantor's. Oh, the nice frilly bullshit. The fucking Mendocino Farms. The fucking, what is the other one you said?
What's the other one you said? Canters?
Canters. Oh, shit. Bro.
I know who I am.
So when I see a
fucking sandwich place and I like it,
I don't get fucked with
all this frilly. You're cooters.
That's what it is. You're cooters. You're seeing the bracelets
and just because it's shiny, you go to it.
No, it's not because Jersey Mike's is all the like, all right, everyone goes there.
Subway's, all right, everyone goes there.
Dude, you guys are getting caught up in the hype, bro.
No, it's good.
And I know who I am.
We're getting caught up in taste.
Yeah, taste.
That's where we're getting caught up in.
We're getting taste.
That's Mendocino Farm, bro.
Nah, I've been to Mendocino Farm.
I've been to all of them, dude.
When I go to Jersey Mike's, that shit's a flavor explosion in my mouth, dude.
Oh, dude.
Look at all this bullshit.
Look at all this bullshit.
The Farm Club is fire.
It's not so fried chicken.
I want to go there now.
I wish I had it right now.
Bullshit, dude.
The number seven Mike's way.
Yeah, number seven.
Number seven.
You know what you are?
Simple, right?
You're goddamn right I am, and I know who I am, and you guys are cooters, bro.
You're stupid. Oh, my God. You're stupid. You're goddamn right I am, and I know who I am, and you guys are cooters, bro. You're stupid.
Oh, my God. You're stupid.
You're a sandwich beta.
Was there Blimpies out here?
Anyone grow up with Blimpies?
Blimpies is the shit, bro.
They're not around anymore.
I don't know if it's here, but I saw it on the list.
Blimpies is the shit.
No, Blimpies is Denver.
Starting in Denver.
Okay, but...
Okay, but...
Okay, okay, fine.
Fine, bro, you know?
With this Denver bullshit.
Blimpies?
Chipotle started there, too.
Blimpies is the shit.
Blimpies is good.
Yeah, sorry. Blimpies is the shit, dude. If you're going to go real Blippi's is the shit. Blippi's is good.
Blippi's is the shit, dude.
If you're going to go real chain,
Blippi's is the shit.
Jersey Mike's
probably has the less
Jersey Mike's than Blippi's.
Jersey Mike's is the shit.
Subway's the worst.
Have you had a number
seven Mike's way?
Have you had a number
seven Mike's way?
What's Mike's way?
Why do you get all
deep voice on?
Because you didn't answer, bro.
What's Mike's way?
Mayo and
there's a bunch of shit on Mike's way. You don't know. You don't know. I say Mike's way and it's actually good, dude. Yeah, answer, bro. What's Mike's way? Mayo and there's a bunch of shit on Mike's way.
Oh, you don't know.
You don't know.
But I say Mike's way.
You don't know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bro, you've touched me 35 fucking times.
Get down.
You don't even fucking know, dude.
Just for no reason, he's gone.
Sliced onions, cheddar lettuce.
That shredded lettuce, that tomato, that oregano, bro.
Standard.
Yeah, bro.
This is super standard.
Salt, spice, and the juice.
That's why I'm not a CUDA dude.
That's why I know who I am.
If you can go in your fridge and grab four or five things.
Yeah, I'll make all that.
And then, you know, you're on the counter.
You know, Calvin's playing.
You can make a freaking Jersey Mike's.
Make a Mendocino Farm thing.
That's why I am not this dude.
Jersey Chris, everybody.
This is why I don't get caught up in all the extra frills, all the bullshit.
You're out here getting your not-so-fried chicken sandwiches.
He's over here sandwich rips.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, bro.
That's why we have all that shit in our fridge,
because it's the shit that fucking pops, bro.
You're such a basic bitch.
You're so basic.
You're a Karen. You're a Karen. He're so basic you're a karen you're karen he's basic again
you just wants mayo with like ham on it and he's like oh my god
i enjoyed my family agrees with me dude and 6100 strong in boston agrees
here we go they all like jersey mike's i'm gonna see i's? I'm going to fucking have a Jersey Mike's bar.
Everyone's getting turkey sandwiches.
You did during my show.
It's Mike's way.
You're vegetarian?
I don't give a fuck.
Eat it.
Yeah, they have a Chris's way on the menu.
That's what's going to happen next.
Subs and comedy.
That's what he's doing.
He's going for a sponsorship.
I know.
He's so transparent.
Oh, his truth comes out.
Yeah.
We also all love jimmy
johns jimmy johns is great yeah jimmy johns nice jimmy johns jimmy johns great it's the same as
mike they're the same thing jimmy and john jimmy and mike are the same thing if i blindfolded you
oh i would be immediately and put you inside in front of the the glass i hear a challenge
you wouldn't even know where you are. Sandwich challenge.
I can smell the difference.
Sandwich challenge.
Let's do a blind taste test.
Yes, let's do it.
I can smell the difference.
I need that.
I want you to get three sandwiches.
Boom.
Subway.
I go like this.
Jersey Mike's.
Blimpies.
And what's the other one?
If you do Mendocino Farms, it's going to be so easy to tell.
You're going to be like, ooh.
Oh, my God.
What's that one?
What'd you guys pay?
$7,000 for this?
I go like this.
Blindfold me.
Jersey Mike's.
That's that Mike's way.
I bet you he doesn't get it right.
I bet.
Yeah.
If they're all the same, you're not going to get it.
You don't get it right.
I guarantee it.
Conversation over.
This might be a couple weeks until we get to it just because of.
Yeah, that's fine.
What are we doing in January?
And then we'll figure out some parameters because we need to decide on a sandwich type,
bread.
You can't get like.
It has to be all the same.
Do you get a hot sandwich at Jersey Mike's or do you get cold sandwich?
Cold.
Cold.
Number seven, Mike's way.
With mayo.
Cold.
Oh my God.
All right.
Who's Mike?
Look out for that first episode of the new year.
Why the fuck is Mike?
He's a tasty motherfucker.
He gets it.
Mike's a cuck.
You got to wait until January.
We're going to fucking bang this out in the new year.
All right.
Let's see what this lovely lady has to say.
Some white teeth.
I'm jealous.
Hey, guys.
It's Jen.
Huge fan of the show.
Happy Thanksgiving.
I have a debate club for you.
When is it too early to put up your Christmas decorations?
I personally have already put mine up.
I did it before Halloween.
Just curious if you wait until Thanksgiving,
or do you wait closer to December?
Anyways, just wanted to say hi to Nick and Eric.
Love you guys.
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
Yeah, Nick, look at us.
We've got to start our own podcast.
Who's Eric?
Rachel loves decorating.
Okay.
So there's a wall we have in the living room where whatever holiday it is, it's going to be on this wall.
And she started doing this thing.
She buys a pillow for the couch.
Oh, yeah.
So we have a Thanksgiving pillow on the couch right now.
She just took the Halloween one away.
We have a thing on our door that says Happy Thanksgiving.
Then you turn it over and it says Happy Fall.
Fuck yeah.
Okay.
Now she just put the Christmas.
She's got the Christmas shit ready.
I just walked in the house from the airport,
and there's boxes of Christmas shit that just came to the place where she's going to put all this stuff up.
Traditionally, Christmas used to be that you put the tree up the day after Thanksgiving.
That's been American tradition.
We're in this new woke culture where you can put it up early.
My girl put the tree up yesterday.
Yesterday.
So you don't run your household.
Oh, no, no, no no no you guys mexicans do you guys are you guys are real cute with your stories kristen has
six christmas trees up what oh she crazy what a flex
i'm talking about one tree.
Three of them were that big.
You got one big dog, right?
I got three big dogs.
I got two.
Okay.
She started it in October.
She started in July.
Last year, she put it up in September.
And I said, babe.
Charlie.
Yeah.
I said, babe.
Look, I love Christmas. And I do, babe. Charlie. I said, babe, look.
I love Christmas. And I do.
I love Christmas. But I like it at Christmas.
Well, it's not even that. Yes, it is that.
But also, I want it to be special. If it's half the year,
I have to say combo.
It dilutes the specialness.
And you're cute with your
holiday pillow.
One bellow. I don't want to holiday pillow. One pillow.
Bro, I walk in and it's like.
One pillow?
She hired a Santa that's just in the house.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
At all times.
I'm going to be here for a few months.
And just a dude that's just like, you know, eating Jersey Mike's.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was mine.
Chris Mike's way, am I right?
Like three dwarves.
I'll get you something good.
She hired like three dwarves.
Just running around, bringing Calvin Giff.
Usually people rent me for a week, but I'm here for three months.
That's a lot.
I mean, I just, you know.
I'd rather have that than the opposite.
Yeah, but Kristen was all over like, you know.
She probably, when you guys first got together,
she probably walked in to wherever you lived and was like,
this is cute.
And just like.
Also, you guys got two white girls.
White girls love holidays.
Them bitches live for it.
I actually love that she does that.
Me too.
I do, I love it.
I love that she loves it.
I love that it makes her happy.
And dude, I love Christmas.
And so fucking...
I'll do it in September, man.
No, too early.
Yeah, I mean...
Stand your ground, bitch.
But I just...
I love how happy it makes her.
And I love how much she wants it to be Christmas so soon.
And it's just fucking funny.
I have one of those like Google doorbell things.
And you can change the thing.
Slight flex.
So she changes that too.
So you ring the doorbell and it's like, it's the most wonderful.
Oh, I like that.
And Kristen, it would be, it's the most wonderful half of the year.
Oh, I like that. It's the most wonderful half of the year.
Thanksgiving and Halloween.
But Calvin loves it, right?
From Labor Day to...
Oh, Christmas cheese.
Good job.
Dude. Good job. Dude, I feel like...
Who is this now?
Hello.
I feel like...
Yeah, it's really sweet and I like it.
And that's it.
And now how long do you leave the stuff up?
Okay, now this is my issue.
I think this is a more important question. Chris, we are on the same page on this. Just lean up to it, okay. You want to have the stuff up okay now this day after i think this is a more this is the i think this is a more important question yeah i'm chris we are on the same page on this to it okay you want
to have a shit up yeah on secretary's day before you know what i mean i'm with you but let me tell
you something you got three days after christmas max this shit gotta go on no no no it's new year's
new after new year it's after new year's no no no it's like three days after new year's we're
in a new year this This has to go.
The taint of the holiday season, Christmas to New Year's, you live it up.
What the fuck is this?
Do you get a real tree?
You have real trees?
It's supposed to be January 6th.
No, no, no.
You can't do real trees, bro.
It's too much of a fire hazard.
It's sheds.
And it's fucking dirty and shit.
Squirrels.
Yeah.
Biblically, it's January 6th.
That's not a...
You know I live biblically.
Epiphany.
I live biblically.
When the three wise men showed up.
Good title.
Like David, you have 800 wives. Living biblically. We should... No, January 6th. We should all live biblically When the three wise men Showed up Good title Like David You have 800 wives
Living biblically
We should all
Way too long
My thing is
Day after Christmas
Otherwise I'm
Kicking it down
I'm kicking it down
I kick it down
Too much
I rip it down
I've been kicking it down
Six trees
I rip it down
Alright
A lot of ladies calling
Wait how long have we been going
By the way
Seven hours
56 minutes
Two more
It's probably actually 53 Thanks turkeys I like it Ladies calling in late. Wait, how long have we been going, by the way? Seven hours. 56 minutes. Two more.
It's probably actually 53.
Thanks, turkeys.
I like it.
Hey, what's up, guys?
I'm Samantha, and I have a whom do I get told I look like for you.
Shania Twain. I know.
Good one.
Ooh, I feel like a woman.
Uh-uh.
But nobody says that.
Totally crazy.
Do what I do.
You know what?
I was thinking.
She looks like someone. I know what it is. I can't. Oh, my God. I can what? I was thinking she looks like someone.
I know what it is.
I can't.
Oh, my God.
I can't think of it.
Brie Larson?
She's got a little Meghan Trainor going on, too, I think.
Yeah, a little bit.
That's offensive.
A little bit.
Meghan Trainor's a friend of mine, okay?
You know what I'm saying.
Meghan's great.
She's a great lady.
No, she's so talented.
All about that.
Not that bass.
No trouble.
Yeah, that was a while ago.
She's got this new trending song now.
Made you look. You know how nice she is. She's always good about that. She does kind of look like her a that place. No trouble. Yeah, it was a while ago. She got this new trending song now about made you look.
You know.
Nice.
She's always good about that.
She does kind of look like her a little bit.
Thank you.
And then.
Oh, my vision must be fucked up.
I'm sorry.
About what?
You don't think they look alike?
Absolutely not.
Bring up Shania Twain.
No, no, no.
Yeah, but it's.
Brendan, it's 2022.
She's so famous, dude.
You know how many more records she sold than... I know she's your friend.
Hello, Mr. Missing the Point.
I'm saying...
Dude.
She not look more like her than Meghan Trainor?
She does, bro.
But nobody's saying that in 2022, bro.
She's so famous.
So if I said some dude looked like Elton John,
I'd be like, dude, that's from the 80s. But Elton John still
fucking has Christmas albums
that pop and shit. It's not these two, though.
She looks like, oh man,
I can't think of the, I bet you
she's going to say what I'm thinking. Who is it?
Come on. Yeah, we're off on something
here. So I get told I look like one of these
three women. Jennifer
Aniston, Rose Byrne,
or Cindy Crawford. Oh, no, no, no. Rose Byrne, or Cindy Crawford.
Oh, no, no, no. Rose Byrne, maybe.
Thanks, guys. I love the show.
She's pretty either way. I'd have to see more
pictures, though. Jennifer Aniston,
I can see a little bit. No, I say Rose Byrne.
Rose Byrne.
Oh! This is who I'm talking
about. Yes! That's
who I meant. She does.
I just didn't know her name.
But that's who she looks like.
You slammed the table too much, huh, man?
You slammed the table too much.
No, Eric slams the table too much.
You hit me too much. I'm good.
You want me to move to the table? You think you're
good? What do I do? Your nose is
rubbing on the...
It's red, buddy. Just underneath
the rash. All show is just... It's red, buddy. Just underneath. The rash.
Our show is just... You're like a DJ.
Every now and then you hear me breathing in the fucking audience.
Yeah, dude.
Yeah, all right.
She said Rose Byrne.
Yeah, Rose Byrne.
Yes, I knew that was that.
That's who I was like, she looks like...
Why'd you just say she said Rose Byrne?
We heard her say Rose Byrne, and he said, oh, that.
She didn't give the answer.
Oh, that's the answer.
Oh it wasn't those three.
And then she. Yeah she gives three.
I stopped it twice. I almost feel like
we should not do the three options because it's just better
when you guess blank slate. Agreed.
We paused twice. One time to
guess. Rose Byrne.
So we can like. We go maybe.
Oh and then she text making sure that
really it's Shania Twain. Either idea is horrible, but we'll do it, you know?
Either way, it's bad.
I agree.
Any other ideas?
I don't trust the turkeys.
Nick is just, Nick is off the rails, you know?
He's just sitting like an evil genius coming up with his little ideas.
Then he pawns them off on this guy, on these people.
You know what I mean?
Every new idea is really Nick.
I live in the middle of nowhere, Wisconsin, eating panda,
waiting for my wife's hair to be cut, kids starting to cry.
Better start moving, buddy.
Anyway, here we go.
Got a debate club.
Which city in the United States deserves an NFL team?
Some do, some don't.
I think L.A. doesn't really deserve a team.
You guys don't barely show up for your games anyway.
Your away team has just as many people there.
It's a disgrace.
So, yeah.
Let me know what you guys think.
Which city in the United States deserves an NFL team the most?
Well, L.A. doesn't give a fuck about anything, bro.
No, but that's because we're such a city that everyone's from everywhere else.
There's very few cities that are friendly.
That's why when you go to the game, it'll be like, let's say, Detroit's in town.
And all of a sudden, all these Michigan people are at the game.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's what happens.
I went to the Niners game, and I would say 80% of the stadium was in red in Niners game.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
But here's the thing you guys are missing, because you don't know sports, and you just
weren't thinking about it.
I'm well-versed in sports, but okay.
But LA, they bounced around, right?
They went to St. Louis, and they came back.
They went to the Rams.
They went to Oakland.
Now they're in Vegas.
So we could never put our fucking roots down.
Right, of course.
So the hardcore fans, they fell off.
They picked another team.
Because they keep fucking switching.
What is this shit?
This is just the biggest cities that don't have a team.
Well, San Antonio, they don't have a team.
No, they have the Spurs.
This is big cities without a team.
Yeah, but that would be a great city for a football team.
It's Texas, first of all.
Yeah, they love football out there.
Yeah, well, they already have the Texans.
Texas, California, I think they have the most.
I mean, they have the Spurs for basketball.
Texas, California, and Florida, I believe, have the most professional teams.
No, San Antonio, for sure.
I think California has the most professional teams.
New York per capita, but whatever.
Because if you think NBA, Lakers, Clippers, Sacramento Kings,
Golden State Warriors, that's four NBA teams right there.
I think we have, you know, who has the most?
Yeah, there you go.
I told you.
New York, three.
California, biggest shit, though.
Oh, I didn't realize it.
Oh, yeah, Texas and New York are tied.
Whoa, do California go up?
They have 16?
Yeah, dude.
Well, because you have NorCal.
Yeah, still.
And they're including NHL, too.
Still, yeah. Damn, there's three. Three hockey still. And they're including NHL, too. Still, yeah.
Damn, there's three.
Three hockey teams.
That's three too many, yeah?
Hockey is a great sport to watch live.
In person.
Yeah.
You know your shit.
There we go.
Besides UFC.
It's too cold.
It's too cold.
We got to go to UFC.
Oh, I would love to do that.
We'll talk.
We'll get Rogan Stigas, too.
Set it up!
We'll be in the back and you're like this.
I talked to Theo.
You're going to look like Mark Zuckerberg.
I talked to Theo and I was like, what's up with you and Jared Leto?
Yes, what'd he say?
Are they fucking?
He was like, you know.
He was like, you know, man.
He didn't want to get into detail.
What do you mean?
There's a picture with him or something?
He was at the UFC event and Jared Leto was like three seats down.
Oh.
In some fly ass jacket.
Oh, look at them.
He's next Jared Leto.
Boy, Theo's hair
is getting as long as Jared Leto's.
Those look like two transgender men.
Is that a...
They look like a couple. Is that a perm mullet?
Wow, that's a real mullet.
He's got a pullet?
Damn, this says buy it for $500.
I was gonna buy it!
It's hilarious.
Now, if it was just I was gonna buy it It's hilarious Now
If it was just Jared Leto
Is it still $500 or is it $300
No it's
Those are all $500
All those photos
Who would buy that
Jared Leto probably
And girls love having the Getty Image thing on it
Yeah to know that it's
You can take that stuff Jared Leto probably. And girls love having the Getty Image thing on it. Yeah, to know that it's...
Yeah, they don't care.
You can take that stuff off.
Yeah.
What were we talking about?
Is that them?
Oh, that's hilarious.
Oh, that's funny.
Yeah, that guy looks like fucking...
That's funny.
Avatar store the narrative on that, but that's fine.
I think there's plenty of cities out there that could use a team.
San Antonio would be dope.
San Jose would be great.
Well, there's a...
I disagree with this guy
about Los Angeles. I mean, California
is the biggest state in the Union.
But he's saying the passion isn't there.
And he's right. But I think the passion is there
for the other teams that come into town,
so it's fine.
I just went to the football game.
I went to the Rams game last week.
When they played,
they lost, right? Yeah, they played
Arizona. Yeah, they're bad right now. Yeah, they lost, right? Yeah, they played Arizona.
Yeah, they're bad right now.
Yeah, they're bad right now, but it's like it is what it is.
We just won the Super Bowl.
They have a hangover.
The guy was hurt.
Agree.
Cooper Cupp just got hurt.
Best player in the league.
Yeah, Cooper Cupp's hurt, so it's like it is what it is.
I saw him at Air One.
You're my and my son's favorite player, man.
You keep doing it.
You should have won MVP last year, but you're white, and I walked off.
I got it right here.
San Diego, I'll be there.
January 7th.
Seattle, Jacksonville, Daytona.
Chris is coming to Earth. Lakeland, Portland.
He's coming to Earth.
Name a city.
He's there.
Kansas City, New York, Chicago, Sugarland, Texas.
ChrisLeah.com, and I will be in San Antonio,
the place that should have a football team.
ChrisLeah.com.
Go get your tickets there on the Don't Push Me Tour.
Go to Addison Improv.
Happy Thanksgiving, and go to the Addison Improv, everybody.
And then next week, the week after that, I'm going to be in Zaney's.
You know, you missed me in Vegas.
Providence, Rhode Island, December 1st through the 3rd.
Those shows are almost sold out.
We're going to add shows if those bad boys sell out.
So, December 1st through the 3rd, first time going there.
And then Washington, D.C., D.C. Improv.
December 15th through the 17th, D.C. Improv.
Get you some.
These Thick Boy hoodies have dropped already if you're watching this.
We have this.
We have the baseball jerseys, the new hats, ThickBoy.com.
The award-winning Tiger Thick Nectar you can get at thickboy.com.
$5 off shipping right now.
It's the best thing I can do for you guys.
All right.
Love you.
From the boys here, happy Thanksgiving.
Enjoy that dry-ass turkeys.
Jersey Mike's ain't shit.
We love you guys.
Thanksgiving needs some songs, right?
Happy Thanksgiving.
Chris is texting Jersey Mike.
Oh, we're's Saudi Arabia No Qatar
They're all the same
Oh wow
We're friends that laugh
We're friends that shout
Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about
But that won't stop us
Nothing can stop us nothing can stop us
I show you just rebranded it's stronger better bigger power goes It's the golden hour It's the golden hour