The Golden Hour - Is This Offensive to Milwaukee? | The Golden Hour #3 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin, & Chris D’Elia
Episode Date: November 18, 2022The guys explore each of their explore pages on Instagram, debut all new show segments including "The Algorithm" and "Podium", and talk giant dogs, game nights, Mike Tyson vs Bruc...e Lee, which animals they'd mount, pros and cons of owning a castle, famous AirBnB houses and much more!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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No, the deer, no.
He just goes, boom.
Like it was a very light hit,
but they don't move.
The deer don't move.
They go,
It's like,
Dude, one time I was in it,
I saw four deer.
I was driving by.
I was driving by.
Four deer.
The thing, I slow down
and the deer come up to me
and they go,
get the out of the car.
They stole my car.
We're friends that laugh.
We're friends that shout. We're friends that shout.
Sometimes we don't know
what we're talking about.
But that won't stop us.
Nothing can stop us.
Ooh, yeah.
It's like a show you used to love.
Just rebranded enough.
It's stronger, better, bigger power Tonight, I'm in Vegas.
What are you guys doing?
Get to Wise Guys in Vegas.
What else are you going to do in Vegas? Are you practicing or did we start?
Let me raise my chair. Come on. I know. I make it lower. I'm going to Wise Guys in Vegas. What else are you going to do in Vegas? Did we start?
Let me raise my chair. Come on.
I make it lower. I'm going to do that every time.
You are a big man. I kind of like it.
Go see Eric in Vegas tonight.
Wise Guys, great club. Great club. Go see Celine Dion.
You're a better show.
She's amazing. I actually saw Celine Dion. It was a great show.
Kristen wants to go, dude.
She brings a horse on stage.
Go see Eric. He's trying Kristen wants to go, dude. She brings a horse on stage. Yeah, she passed away, though.
Go see Eric.
What do you mean she passed away?
He's trying to give you tickets, bro.
As if they have the same crossover fan base.
Yeah, they're like, oh, it's either Celine Dion or Eric.
Theo and Chris, Eric and Celine.
That's what it is.
Oh, this is on Friday.
So tonight, Milwaukee, get your shit together.
Quit watching Dahmer on Netflix.
Come see your boy, Milwaukee Improv.
Two shows Friday, two shows Saturday.
Only Milwaukee Improv.
And then December, I end the Oh He Thick tour, Providence, Rhode Island, and then DC Improv.
What was that?
Oh He Thick.
Oh He Thick.
Your tour's called Oh He Thick?
Yeah.
Oh He Thick.
I thought it was the Trash Panda. will be christmas version i will be in uh san diego uh i believe the seventh
and the eighth and then i'll be in seattle and portland and then i will also be in new york
we're coming to the beacon wow i'm new york i added a Beacon in the second show. And then
Chicago Theater. And then
I got Austin on sale now.
I got a bunch of good ones. Just go to crystalia.com.
Dude, are you going to be in Bloomington,
Missouri in March?
I'm going to be in... It's not Bloomington,
right?
It's...
Am I? What is it? Bring it up.
In March? Because you know why? I think I'm
going to be... The guy booked me at the club that's in town.
Get out.
At the same weekend.
I will be in.
So I need some spillover.
Oh, wow.
Hopefully they'll sell out so I will go see it.
Yeah, yeah.
Springfield.
Springfield, yeah.
You're going to be there.
Yeah, I think so.
When?
When?
What is it?
March 10th.
Yeah.
You're going to be there then.
Yeah.
Get the fuck out.
Yeah, I'm going to be at the club.
Oh, shit.
I wonder how far they're going. You guys could do something though, right? Yeah, we got to figure it out? Yeah. Get the fuck out. Yeah, I'm going to be at the club. Oh, shit. I wonder how far that is.
You guys could do something though, right?
Yeah, we got to figure it out.
We could do something, yeah.
I wonder if we're at the same time performing.
I know, we'll figure it out.
Oh, we got to hang.
Wow, that's amazing.
Funny.
He did it on purpose.
He was like, dude, you should come.
Oh, really?
Oh, that's cool.
Oh, cool.
Oh, cool, cool.
Oh, cool.
So yeah, so come see either Eric and I.
Yeah, so listen, if you want to go to some big theater.
You can barely see the guy.
Barely see him.
Not even feel like, you know, you're a part of it.
If you want to like more intimate.
Like a real show.
50, 60 people.
Yeah.
20, 30.
You know, and there's plenty of open seats.
Come see me.
Drinks.
March 10th.
Theater's going to have drinks.
That's my birthday weekend too.
My birthday's March 12th. Nice. Are you a Pisces? Yeah. Pisces bros. It doesn't matter. March 18th my birthday is March 12th
are you a Pisces?
Pisces bros
doesn't matter
doesn't matter
what your sign is
you're a bad person
what are you?
what sign are you?
are you a Taurus?
yield
okay that's hilarious.
So if you were a sign, what sign would you be?
Mine would for sure be yield.
I'm a left turn sign.
Nice, nice, nice.
Are you a scorpion?
Aries.
See, you know it.
I don't know much about Aries.
Neither do I, my friend.
Neither do I.
Aries spares.
That's very symbolic.
More host clips for Pisces.
For the past several days Pisces you've been
fairly lucky
in financial and material terms
but the day ahead
will be
oh no
huh
but the day ahead
is going to get pretty dicey
for you
if you're planning
to make an investment
sign a contract
purchase a major item
or drive a car
you're going to die
postpone it to another day
you might as well
re-sign yourself
to this fate
be grateful that you were spared
oh my god well this podcast is coming out later so people have already been doing this oh yeah another day. You might as well re-sign yourself to this fate. Be grateful that you were spared. Oh my God.
Well, this podcast is coming out later, so people have already been doing
this. Oh yeah, great point.
Should have done that. You know what's hilarious though?
I actually, I don't know what I like. When you look
at a horoscope and it's just all
positive shit, I'm kind of like...
Well, you know it's not real then. Give me
a little bit like,
today's not your day. So I can
feel like, oh shit. See, I'd love to. So I can feel like, oh, shit.
See, I've always said
about the fortune cookies,
if you open up,
it's like,
you thought today was bad.
Wait till tomorrow.
I want some real dark shit.
They say,
sit down,
open another cookie.
What if a restaurant,
but wait,
what if a restaurant,
you put reservations in
so they know it's you
and they pre-make them.
So you open it up
and it says, hey, Chris, looks like you're, you'd be they pre-make them. So you open it up and it says,
Hey Chris, looks like you're...
You'd be like, oh shit.
What a great experience.
What if it's talking shit?
It was like, it could only sell out
three shows in Boston and then
said the F word. Hey Chris, stupid podcasts.
Hey Chris, hate your podcast.
I'm at underscore
Too many shows in New York at the Beacon.
Enjoy that.
Come play Mad Square Garden.
I'm like.
That would be hilarious.
But even the psychics, if they just give you some, you know, I want some darkness.
We're like, hey, don't take that flight to Chicago.
Well, that's why I don't go to the psychics.
I'm out on psychics.
Yeah, it's on.
Like, I don't even understand how they are in business.
You ever driving down La Cienega?
You just see like a purple crystal ball through a window?
Yeah.
And then there's like a little place.
You go, how are they paying their bills?
My mom.
That's got to be a drug front, right?
I don't understand how they're paying their bills.
No, no.
How are they paying their bills?
I know a ton of people that go to them.
Really?
Wow, dude.
There's people you know.
We all know.
They go to psychics.
Legit people go to psychics.
How much money? Those people are not legit people anymore. Yeah, they can't be legit. Okay. How do you do that? I. They go to psychics. Legit people go to psychics. How much money?
Those people are not legit people anymore.
Yeah, they can't be legit.
Okay.
How do you do that?
I don't want to mention anything.
I'm just saying.
I got to get to my psychic.
Dude, I got to go.
Where?
I'm going to be late for my psychic.
Nick, who was the comic, phenomenal comic?
He likes men.
Oh, Thomas Dale.
Thomas Dale.
Oh, I know that.
Horrible.
Tough follow.
Tough fucking.
He's a monster.
Oh, no. That guy's. Yeah. He's a monster Oh no that guy's Yeah
He's a monster
He's so funny
He quit comedy
And now he's a full time
Medium
He came on here
And was telling me shit
You know Thomas right
And he's really good
Oh you don't know Thomas Dale
Oh
Bro that guy
Was so hilarious
And he just quit
And he moved to Asheville
North Carolina
Savage comedy
There's more money
In this stuff though That's why.
It's like Kyle Cease, man.
Kyle Cease is a full-on motivational
speaker now. I know. I can't wait to get there.
You know the mediums? You know that
Jersey girl with the hair?
They do crowds.
Your grandmother died.
She's like, yeah, I'm 60.
You know,
we have the same bookend agency. She does. You think you sell tickets? yeah, I'm 60. Right, right, right. You know, we have the same bookend agency.
She does.
You think you sell tickets, Daddy?
No, I know, I know.
You think you sell tickets?
Those mediums sell mother trucking tickets.
People want an answer.
Are you going to have a ponytail, though, when you do it?
Yeah, I got to have this.
You got to have this.
The Bluetooth.
The Bill Bellamy mic.
And it just says Life.
Yes, her, Nick.
Good job.
Life can rip.
Life does rip. Wow, look at her hair. Oh, her, Nick. Good job. Life can rip. Life does rip.
Wow, look at her hair.
Oh, she's one of these chicks.
You don't believe in mediums at all?
You think everybody's full of shit?
Nobody can talk to the past?
No, no, no, no, no.
I think that people are good at reading people.
I think people are good at reading situations.
And it's like a psychology of knowing how to make people feel good.
So you think it's all bullshit?
I'm not saying it's bullshit.
Do you think they're talking to someone from the past?
No.
No.
Then it's bullshit.
Don't ask that question because you know the answer to it.
Well, I've seen if he believed in that because then I was going full circle
because you guys shit on ghosts last week.
Ah, good.
And he was like, I believe that.
And then right back in.
I like that.
Good work.
Good work.
Good work.
Good work.
You're older, wiser.
It's tough to trick you.
We call that a gotcha moment in the biz.
You'll figure it out.
Okay, that's one.
We're going to count them.
Oh, here.
Two.
No, that's one.
We got one.
That second one was intentional.
This one wasn't unintentional.
That's one.
If I like you, I touch you.
I get you like me.
I'm just going to count them out.
Kevin Spacey says me too.
What?
I'm just going to count them out.
That's one.
There's one hit.
Okay, sorry.
One strike.
I'm so sorry.
No, it's okay. I'm a physical creature. I know. You're a creature. I'm a going to count them out. There's one. There's one hit. Okay, sorry. One strike. I'm so sorry. No, it's okay.
I'm a physical creature.
I know.
You're a creature.
I'm a power bottom.
Yep.
No.
Alpha bottom.
Alpha bottom.
Alpha bottom.
Whoops.
You guys are bottom, huh?
You got beta.
You're a little beta.
I don't know.
You're a little beta.
I don't know.
My ass is too hairy.
It wouldn't be.
You guys could start a new podcast called Beta Boys.
No.
It's just you two, and then I'm just not on that one, right?
I guess, dude, yeah, you're too alpha for us, man.
Alpha bottom, though.
You'd be our Nick.
We'd be like, Brandon, look up.
And I'm just misspelling things.
You can't find it.
It's called Hotel Mermon.
Hold on.
Wait a minute.
I put in Belusi.
All I'm finding is a Jane Belupi.
Yeah.
All right.
Who's this dude?
We need to get him a shaving, maybe.
Some shaving stuff.
Hey, guys.
Love the new show.
The Golden Girls.
Golden Hour.
Whatever it's called.
Y'all can't seem to make up your minds.
No, you know what it is.
No, we made up our minds.
You know what it is.
We made up our fucking minds, bro.
You know what it is, bro.
Yeah, is that your pants, bro, hanging up?
Whoa, what is that?
I have a new idea for a segment.
It's called The Algorithm.
Basically, I want you guys to show what's on your Explore page on Instagram.
We all know Brendan supposedly posts in Ghost or whatever you call it, but we know that's a lie.
You're out there keeping track on Kaliola,
just like she's keeping track on you.
Anyways, let me see what you guys got.
I'm going to post mine.
Anyways, gang, gang, buzz, buzz, soar.
Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo.
Way better than I thought that would be.
Oh, cute kid.
I was going to light him up, but the kid saved him.
Scared the shit out of me when it turned out like that.
Yeah, that's like a horror movie.
All of a sudden, there's like that's like a horror movie all
of a sudden there's a kid going like this yeah whoa super super uh this is what he's been looking
at this is so if you press the search button on instagram yeah we're not gonna look at ours
and go down i can tell you what mine are i i i know people think i'm joking i legit know i know
you don't have instagram i can bring up my search history, but I'm going to duck, duck, go, so I'm going to save your search history.
You guys didn't know that shit because you're simple.
Mine is cars, weird comic things, a couple of big booty things.
You know what I mean?
A couple of real big booty things.
Yeah, this is ridiculous.
It's that TMZ.
Yeah, that stuff's ridiculous.
TMZ is always showing, like, now all it is is, like, really big booty.
What?
TMZ is?
Yeah. What did they say? No, I'm sorry. Not TMZ. What? TMZ is? Yeah.
What did they say?
No, I'm sorry.
Not TMZ.
What's the other one?
I was like, TMZ, huh?
No, it's-
Gung, gung, gung.
Another big booty.
No, it's-
What is that?
Well, just click it.
BBLs.
No, no, no.
It's the one that's always doing-
It used to do fights all the time.
Ratchet fights.
Worldstar?
Worldstar.
Oh, big booties.
Yeah, yeah.
Worldstar is all about like like Oh, that's hilarious.
How dudes that drive
electric cars
like to be kissed.
I don't understand that.
I've seen this video
and it says dudes
that listen to Drake.
Yeah, I saw that too.
Well, that's not funny.
I don't understand
that guy.
She had girls
lifting that guy up
or is that Photoshopped?
That's real.
That's real.
But she's also
pinning him against the fridge
so it's not that hard.
That looks Photoshopped.
No, he just lifted his legs
and she's pinning him. Is that strong? Well, also pin him against the fridge so it's not that hard that looks photoshop no he's just lift his legs and she's that strong well no she doesn't she has the fridge
i could do it to two of you guys in here yeah you're a man prove it prove it
you can't be the one that does that yeah okay you can't be like i can do this and then you can't go
prove it it's gotta be at least like at least like go like this prove it.
No, I was going to prove it
because that's like
that's the peanut gallery.
Yeah, I understand.
We know what it is
but you're doing it
and then also
Oh, you can see me?
God damn it.
I didn't know you guys
could see me.
Brendan would be the worst
ventriloquist ever
because he'd be like this
Hey Tommy.
Hey Brendan.
Hey Tommy.
Hey Tommy.
Dude, Eric
Dude
What's your name?
Brendan?
You want fucking you just want our dicks on your chest and stuff.
Like that.
Like fucking around you like that, holding you dicks up against you.
And I'm saying we could do like a centipede thing.
Prove it.
Centipede.
Dude, I would be the front.
I'm not going to be the back.
I'm not putting my mouth on anybody's butt.
You want to be nose to nose?
No, the centipede, human centipede thing?
Oh, yeah.
You don't want the back guy? Just your mouth or something? You don't even want to be the middle guy. The middle guy's got to pass. No, you want to be the back guy. I'm not going to put my mouth on anybody's butt. You want to be nose to nose? No, the centipede, human centipede. Oh. You don't want the back guy, just your mouth or something?
You don't even want to be in the middle.
The middle guy's got to pass.
No, you want to be the first guy.
It's like a ride at Disney.
You're in the middle.
You're trying to be considerate.
You're like, I'm trying not to shit.
I'm trying.
I'm so sorry.
The first guy's the best.
First guy by far the best.
Unless the guy in the front's ruined.
It goes in a circle, though.
You're actually going to get it.
Oh.
I didn't see the movie.
Not centipede.
Didn't they come out?
No, it was a centipede.
Centipedes are in a circle, right?
There's a part two.
What a horrific movie.
Part two, they're in a square.
They make sense.
Not as bad as Speak No Evil, which you made me watch.
Oh, I did not make you watch it.
I told you don't watch it.
You did.
See, there's me, Chris, and Eric.
That could be us, guys.
You guys quit playing grab ass.
That's human centipede?
Oh, my God. Did you see it? I haven't grab ass. That's human centipede? Oh my God.
Did you see it?
I haven't seen it.
You watched it?
What's wrong with you?
But that's a good thing.
Everything.
Why is it always on that one for you?
I know.
It's always on that one.
It should just be...
It's never there.
I always get the bullshit one.
Oops.
The gink, gink, gink is the actual green one.
It's actually the best one, but it tastes the longest.
Hey, Nick, you remember that Do you remember that one
It was a video
A viral video on Instagram
The two girls one cup
I never watched it
It has to do with poop I can't do it
I will throw up all over the place
I just can't do it
But anyway my thing is like dogs
Are you willing to text it
Oh oh oh I'm not even going to look at mine But anyway, my thing is like dogs. Are you willing to text it?
Can we look at it?
Oh, let's see.
You asked a screenshot, right? I'm not even going to look at mine, but I know it's fucking watches.
Cars.
Shoes.
Yeah, cars.
I mean, some hot chicks, you know.
It is.
Probably some cute animals.
Mostly watches, honestly.
Yeah.
I don't know.
This looks too weird.
It does change immediately.
If you start Googling fucking broccoli and shit.
It's just broccoli all day.
Yeah, it goes real quick.
$14.99, organic broccoli.
Son of a bitch.
So you guys want to play next week?
I want to play no weeks.
Yeah.
I want to play never.
I have Westies, Andrew Tate, MMA, and some skanks.
Andrew Tate.
I could have guessed Knicks.
A lot of whores, MMA.
Westies, though.
I love Westies.
Oh, cute.
Westies? Yeah, mine's dogs and Westies. Oh, cute. Westies?
I like dogs and booties.
What's a Westie?
It's like...
Animals.
It's like a dog that...
I got a King Corso for security.
Oh, it's like those midget dogs.
You love Westies?
Oh, yeah.
I had a Westie from 5 to 19.
Cody, he was my homie.
And what happened to him?
Passed away?
No, he's still living.
He moved out.
Oh, because you broke up with your girl. No, that was Chewy. He was a homie and what happened to him passed away no he's still living he he moved out oh she broke up with your girl oh no that was chewy he was he was a yorkie jesus christ
stuff to keep up he grew up went to college the dog college studying abroad nick oh damn
they're gonna do it i listen i have no shame i would do it mine's cars some big booties a lot
of shoes probably some fight news.
Yeah.
Probably some raw meat or some random shit.
I have like electric cars.
Oh, gay.
And like dogs.
Electric cars. I was thinking about getting a dog, you know, so I look it up.
And so it's like a lot of fun dog stuff.
And then like, you know, big ass titties.
You know what I mean?
Just because.
Why not?
Oh, wait, because you're a dude.
Yeah.
Oh, wait, because we like big tits.
Also, you know, it's like I'm always on my wife's page, too.
She's very beautiful, so if I'm clicking her things, the algorithm's going to be like.
Suggest some big tits.
Yeah, it's going to suggest like beautiful women.
Oh, you like fucking chicks.
Here you go.
All right, what we got?
Oh, those big tits.
What the fuck?
Look at that one on the upper left.
What is that?
What even is that?
I don't know.
It's some weird.
It's always like weird stuff.
See, it's.
You got a weird. You got a weird.
You got a weird.
Bronco.
Pizza crust.
Ari Shaffir.
Yeah.
Tom Brady.
Oh, yeah.
Pitbull.
There's Tom Brady.
And then there's a couple.
Gandalf.
Yeah.
And you got a meme.
It's pretty well-rounded.
Just an apple bottom.
And it says written like Eric Griffin.
Montez. Those are my tattoos yeah um yeah bro i got a king corso and the guy was like hey you want this south oh you did you got it yeah he's like you want this south african bordeaux or
something like that i'm like well let me see it bro started with 250 pounds what minimum 250 pounds
she's got shoulders and then i go oh damn already well i go oh damn
uh is that dog good with kids he goes no no no no i don't recommend this for you he goes these
are outdoor dogs they're just for security he's like i said he told me some of the celebrities
at bottom he's like and i go but they have kids they bring them in the house he goes no no yeah
it has a full-time trainer he's like you basically buying two mountain lions. I was like, oh, I don't want that. What are they called? Oh, wow.
South African,
like Bordeaux's or some shit.
No,
that's not it.
250 pounds.
You got a,
yeah,
that's crazy.
So you got this cane.
Cane Corso.
Cane Corso,
and then.
What does a Cane Corso look like?
It's a big dog.
It looks like a panther.
And they're good with kids,
and then.
They're good with kids.
And it's very good for protection.
Yes.
They're just barks.
Best of the best.
Aren't pit bulls good with kids too,
though?
Yeah.
I don't know. I had a pit bull forever. I grew up with pit bulls. Yeah, pit bulls good with kids too though yeah i had a pit bull forever i grew up yeah pit bulls oh my god that's me
are you kidding me that that's not real is it yeah they can't be no they're not that big
they're around 150 biggest dogs in the world they'll be like you know some just you just at
a certain point at a certain point just get a line when is your dog running the house?
How big?
You can't let him.
Well, you can't let him.
So how big is yours now?
Is it a puppy still?
He's a puppy now, but his dad's 160 pounds.
You got to show him what's up.
You got to piss on him sometimes.
Oh, I do.
His dad's 160 pounds.
Oh, wow.
Mom's 150.
Yeah, but this is hard to get a...
I need some scale.
Dude, 230 pounds, that dog.
Holy fucking shit.
Dog's big as Burt Kreischer.
Well, you know that's what Burt has.
You know that's what Burt has is a bull mastiff.
There's two of them.
Because I hit up Burt for a dog, and he recommended a bull mastiff,
and then I decided it was Ken Corso.
But how do you freaking, like, how much is it to feed this dog?
Yeah, you got to get him like
What is it eating?
You just buy those steaks from Costco.
Was this you with the new dog?
No, that was me
and that dog was eight grand
and he only spoke German.
Well, it didn't speak anything.
No, it spoke German.
Hello, I would like more food.
Please, thank you very much.
He went, nein!
Can I go inside please?
No, his commands were only in German.
He only understood German.
Okay, what's this about?
Whose is that?
Take a guess.
That's Chin.
It's kind of weird.
Chin's single.
Is it weird?
Chin's recently single.
Makes sense.
Chin's watches Jack.
No, it's an album.
We're all fine with this except for the naked black guy.
We're wondering about that.
That's Conor McGregor.
That's Conor McGregor. Conor McGregor. No, we did this before. We're curious as with this except for the naked black guy. We're wondering about John McGregor. That's John McGregor.
John McGregor.
No, we did this before.
We're curious as to what
that guy's about.
The what?
That's Photoshop.
You probably got to blur that out,
huh, in the middle?
I thought it's actual porn.
It looks like actual porn.
Hey, hey, Chin.
Hey.
You know what it is.
But this is what I don't understand.
I gave him two.
I refreshed it too.
There's two things.
One, I don't understand.
He refreshed it
because he was like,
no, not that.
He refreshed it to this and he was like, no, not that. He refreshed it to this.
And he was like, that's a little better.
No, they're both creepy.
No, but we did this.
I don't even get OnlyFans when this is right on your Instagram.
I don't know either.
You're not following the right OnlyFans.
I think people like OnlyFans because they have a more personal experience, right?
Like, don't you talk to the girl?
I have no idea.
I've never subscribed, but I know people that make crazy bank on it.
And they're like having sex on it, like sucking dudes off.
Oh, right, right, right.
That's what Instagram don't show.
I get that, but what I'm saying is, here's what I really mean.
That chick that was on that thing, she's giving it away for free.
Yeah, why don't you do it?
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
I guarantee she has both.
She thinks if she's making money for it, then she's a hoe.
Right.
That's hilarious.
You're giving it away for free.
Yeah, I don't understand.
I bet she has both.
I think we should start calling these people who do this porn stars. Yeah. Like, oh, this is a hoe. Right. That's hilarious. Yeah. They're giving it away for free. Yeah, I don't understand. I bet she is. I think we should start calling these people who do this porn stars.
Yeah.
Like, oh, this is a porn.
Oh, you're a porn star.
And then she goes, no.
And you get, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Remember how we used to go Instagram model.
We used to frown on Instagram models.
Now they're the only models.
Yeah.
It's the same thing with this.
Porn star is like, oh, I'm not a porn star.
It's like, all right, well.
Yeah.
We're not. it's no shade
no no no no
the only shade is say what you want call it what it is
this is empowering to women
that's like you're putting on a suit you got a hard hat on
and you take fucking a bunch of water
and you try to put out fires and people are like oh thanks so much
for coming firefighter and you're like I'm not a firefighter
you're like yeah dude you just put out the fire
you're doing all the things a firefighter
what's the thing Chappelle said you came in a truck's the thing yeah yeah you got a cat out of a tree and i'm not a firefighter what's chapelle's joke if you're not
at you why do you have the hoe uniform if you're not a hoe or something what is it it's funny i
forgot what that's yeah yeah yeah um all right cool do you have another let's call them influencers
let's take a break and talk about joy mode.
Oh, dude, you ever been to the gas station?
You get like Rhino 3000.
So you get your wiener hard.
Yep.
No, I've never done that. But I know they don't work.
Yeah.
They're scary.
They're not safe.
You have no idea what's in there.
I wish there was something for me.
I don't know.
That's healthy.
It's all natural.
And that's not terrible for you?
Dude, it's a performance booster, like a pre-workout, but for sex.
I wish there was something like that.
Ever heard of Joy Mode?
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Prescriptions come with all sorts of side effects, and the over-the-counter gas station bills are sketchy as shit.
Yeah, but do I have to, like, inject in my wiener?
Is it painful?
Oh, no, no.
How do I take it?
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Sports, yeah.
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Oh, I forgot that we were still doing it.
Dude, I don't like how these guys always...
Nose up?
It's like we're blowing them.
Yeah.
With the angle.
Oh, now I can't get that out of my head.
And then the mic is like this.
Yep.
Hey, guy, what's up?
Yeah.
Tell us what you have to say.
All right, what's up?
He doesn't make any sense by the sound.
What's up, fellas?
Sammy J here.
Congrats on the rebrand.
The Golden Hour, yes.
It does look like Windows 95 is behind me.
I am aware of that.
I'm sure it matches the sky.
We out here.
It's nice.
It's Orange County.
You got to love it.
Love Orange County.
We're doing podium today.
Three obscure sports.
I need you to rank them.
I'm talking bowling, bocce ball, and darts.
Now, I played darts when I would usually be hammered in a dive bar.
Bocce ball, I saw my grandparents' retirement home, didn't really understand it.
Bowling, your boy's throwing it straight.
What you got?
What's bocce ball?
It's basically like horseshoes but with balls.
You throw a ball and then you try to get another ball next to it.
Well, that's definitely last, right?
And what was the last one? Darts and bowling. Well, I'll tell you what. You know what's and then you try to get another ball next to the ball. Well, that's definitely last, right? And then what was the last one?
Darts and bowling.
Well, I'll tell you what.
You know what's crazy?
Bowling, number one.
We all travel.
So you're in the United States.
You look at ESPN.
It's always the major sports.
Then you go to Canada.
Yeah.
And the sports.
No, it'll be like
they'll have darts currently.
The Olympics aren't even going on
and they're showing all this nonsense.
Dude, I was in Savannah, Georgia,
all right, doing a show.
After the show, went to my hotel room
with my buddy David Sullivan,
you know David,
and turned on TV,
and on the TV was the Pogo Championship,
the Pogo Stick Championships.
ESPN was covering the Pogo Stick Championships.
They were bouncing off of boxes.
It was late at night.
It had to be late at night.
I mean, it was like nine.
All right. No, no, no. Hold on. Let me finish the story. So they're doing flips. It was late at night. It had to be late at night. I mean, it was like nine. All right.
Flipping.
No, no, no.
Hold on.
Let me finish the story.
So they're doing flips.
Oh, there you go.
These dudes look like
just regular dudes.
Like dudes you'd see at Costco.
Who made it on ESPN.
Like not fit.
Just some guy
that looked like he just
updated his cell phone plan
and was like,
oh, cool, I'll try.
Like just some dude
and he's doing all this shit
and then it goes,
you know how the graphics go
before the commercial? And then it goes You know how the graphics go Before the commercial
And it goes
ESPN 8
Do you know there's 8
ESPN 8
8
Yeah
I thought there were 2
ESPN 8
Dude
And it's the
Pogo Stick Championships
Someone stole some
They cut to the stands
I'm not kidding you
There were 8 people
In the stands too
It was so funny bro
You know they put on The cornhole championships, too.
That's where you eat somebody's asshole?
Yes.
There he goes.
You go live.
Here you go.
You go fucking fill.
You really am there.
Yeah.
Yeah, but what's the like?
Oh, we farted.
But do they come out to music and everything?
Yeah.
Walk down the aisle. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-d Stop, drop, shut up, open up, shut.
Oh, oh, that's a rough ride, I'm rolling.
Stop.
And they're just warming up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Holy shit.
I don't know.
That one's easy.
It's bowling, darts Bocce ball
Whatever the hell it is
I think I'd take darts over bowling
I would take
No
I would take bocce ball first
Because bocce ball is the least
Athletic
You don't have to have
Darts is all focus
And bowling is
Out of the three of them
The most athletic
So I would just do bocce ball
And marry the two
Bowling is definitely more technique
But bowling is just,
it's too loud and shit
and it's like,
you're like,
what?
Oh, yeah, oh.
And then the stupid graphics
of like the weird ass
Salvador Dali dream shit.
It's like you got turkey.
Yeah.
Just give me bocce ball,
get the ball,
throw it,
now it's your turn.
I don't want to have to fucking.
Yeah, but bowling also,
it's like,
you know.
You stick your face so dirty.
I guess these are the unathletic sports.
We should look at the Pogo set.
Go ahead.
It's the unathletic sports because I love –
I used to watch –
you come on ESPN to be the bowling championships,
and I see the person,
and it's one of those sports where you go,
oh, yeah, anybody can do this, huh?
Well, if you practice, yeah.
Right.
It's a skill.
They're good.
It's a skill sport.
But it's the same thing with darts.
You don't think there's talent?
No, no, that's the talent.
It's a skill.
It's kind of like golf.
But is that the talent is then just being focused and trying to master this skill because it's not – there's a difference between a that's the talent. It's a skill. It's kind of like golf. But is that the talent is then just being focused
and trying to master this skill because it's not –
there's a difference between a skill and a talent.
You can become very skillful.
Your talent, yes, go to ChrisDick.com.
Come to see my show.
I obviously have talent, but I've done 10,000 reps.
Whatever, that's not –
See, I did that.
The Lord Jesus Christ did that to me.
That was a ghost.
Yeah, no, he needed to be taken down
Yeah yeah yeah
So funny wow
That's actually so funny
That was God going
Let's take down a notch
That's so funny
Taking down a notch
God said let's take down a notch
Wow how funny
So
This is Chris
Yeah so I sell a lot of tickets
Every time he brags
Just goes down
Makes me think
You know he's doing
The show from down here
Yeah yeah yeah So around the red dots What were you What were you saying You have talent You have talent Every time he brags, it just goes down. Next thing you know, he's doing the show from down here.
Slow down there, guys.
What were you saying? You have talent.
You have talent.
Skill.
You're saying bowling, darts is skill.
Golf skill.
That's what I'm asking.
Is it a talent?
Can you be a talented bowler?
Sure.
But what you're saying is it's a skill you can learn over and over again.
There are comedians that have pure talent.
Correct.
Bobby Lee.
You know what I mean?
He's just obviously a funny, hilarious guy.
You also have to – he has to have the skill to do stand-up, you know?
It's like I was – I think I have talent, but, like, I wasn't funny when I first go on stage.
But there's some people who are really funny, but you put them on stage, they're not funny.
Well, but –
Then that's where talent is.
No, but you can develop a skill.
I think you're talking about, like, the skill of being a great stand-up,
like a joke writer.
Right.
Then there's somebody
who's just got raw,
they're funny.
Yeah, of course.
Eddie Murphy's fucking hilarious.
He's got raw,
but he's just fucking hilarious, right?
Yeah, but the thing about bowling is
it seems to me
that you're either great at it
or you're not good enough.
You know, because it's like...
No, no, Nick,
I still want to get to the thing.
It's like when you're talking about basketball,
there's a final score.
So you might have a team that's like, oh, they scored 150 points.
But with bowling, you can only do 300.
That's it.
It's a perfect game.
Right.
So that's the cap.
Here's something that you need both, talent and skill,
the pogo stick championship.
Look at this shit.
Here's something that you need both.
Talent and skill.
The pogo stick championship.
Look at this shit.
It's more athletic than all the things you mentioned.
Look at this shit.
Right, you have to have talent and skill for this.
But these are also guys who weren't talented enough to ride motorbikes. Or this is their dream.
I mean, this is awesome.
No, this is very difficult.
But this is way better than what they were doing in the championship.
Oh, Tom Segura was there?
Dalton.
The guy's name is Dalton.
Of course it is.
That's hilarious.
Look at this kid.
Oh, that looks like you if you had your face smashed in.
Wow.
That's unbelievable.
That's cool.
This is different, man.
This is athletic. Honestly, The pogo stick, now it's just one single entity.
This is athletic.
Honestly, you could really fuck yourself up.
Of course.
He'll mess up in his first and second run. Think of all the practicing.
He never will mess up his third run.
As much as I'm the nicest kid you'll ever meet, you can tell he has so much joy.
Russ Kaus is one of the best people we ever meet.
Is there money in it?
Not that it matters.
Yeah, there's always money in sponsorship.
He's flying private there.
It's just not a lot. You just miss and you fuck your ankle up forever, huh?
Yeah.
Oh, this guy was in the-
Danger Russ.
His name is Russ.
And he calls himself Danger Russ.
Oh, there's races?
He's the fastest runner.
Oh, I didn't know there were races.
Dude, people just come up with-
Oh, that's so bitch.
Kangaroos are like, say what?
I've never seen something more bitch than that.
Seven minutes, 40 seconds. So I beat it by like a pretty good margin. people just come up with things. That's so bitch. Kangaroos are like, say what? I've never seen something more bitch than that.
Seven minutes, 40 seconds.
So I beat it by like a pretty good margin.
I'm not worried at all.
Russ ain't got it.
Like that guy does not look like he should be an athlete.
I think he's a little too confident.
You know what?
One thing you don't see in these videos?
Chicks.
That guy.
Oh.
Chicks.
Oh, they're there.
Well, no, there's no pogo groupies.
Oh, you're saying groupie-wise.
Yeah, there's no chicks there.
It's all dudes.
This guy was fine.
Bowling, you're supposed to be
super respectful. He talked shit. Watch this.
He's the John McEnroe of bowling.
Oh, dude. Look at him. Watch him.
Wow, so bitch, dude.
Are you kidding me?
That's right.
Who do you think you are? I am.
Who do you think you are? I am Who do you think you are?
I am
Oh this is Jake Paul
In 15 years
If he decides to go bowling
Who do you think you are?
I am
No I think the guy's smart
Who do you think you are?
I am
Is that the most
One time
Dude wait hold on
One time
Who do you think you are?
I am
You know Chris Mako
Dude he were at
We were in
We were in high school
I was actually in college
I came back to La Cunada
And we were eating And oh no you know what He was in college so okay so i'm like three years older
than we were all in college and he saw uh at we're at the sushi place and he saw this uh girl that
was in the grade below him that he hadn't seen in a while that was in college as well so he had been
in college for years i've been in college after it doesn't matter't matter, but I was older. And so he was like,
well, I should talk to her. I was like, yeah, you should.
You're the big dude
coming back from college and she just got out of her first year
of college, whatever the fuck. Go say hi. And he was like, alright,
cool. What do I say? I was like, I don't know. And he goes over there
and he walks up to her and he says,
hey, do you know who I am right now?
He panicked.
Yeah, that's a panic. Bro.
Do you know who I am right now?
He came back and told me.
We laughed so hard.
Was she like this?
What?
He said, do you know who I am right now?
She probably grabbed her purse and was like, huh?
Yeah.
Who do you think you are?
I am.
Yeah.
So funny.
That's one of these moments.
What's this?
The dark guy?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A hundred percent.
Look how casual.
Dark is big in England.
I love with the darts
And the second leg
Oh my god
Look he's so good
That they have it so close
To zoomed in
They know he's gonna make it
They're all built like
They're all built like
Ron White
Yeah my question is
Is this from 1972
Keep watching
This is the first time
Someone ever finished
With nine straight
Triple 20s
An announcer
I haven't
I've never seen this
But the announcer
Is about to go fucking nuts.
Okay, okay.
So turn it lower.
Maybe turn it lower.
They're just in the zone, these guys.
Second dot, just about hanging on.
So he missed.
Just about to hang on.
I love how the announcer is making this so serious.
Dramatic.
Look at this guy. Oh, okay. The GOAT. I like how he's got making it so serious. Dramatic. Look at this guy.
I don't know.
The GOAT.
I like how he's got that Benjamin Franklin going on.
Look at how he's doing it.
Look at his fucking...
Look at the...
Right?
Not giving a fuck.
You've got to not give a fuck and give a fuck the same amount here.
Oh, damn.
He rolled up like...
Here we go.
Yep.
Dude, he rolled up like this.
100.
Right. Oh. All right. So he got, so now this is his last one.
This dude.
Just in the zone, bro.
This is Christian Bale doing a character.
17.
Yes.
That's Colin Firro as a penguin.
18, his next target.
When they do the movie about it. Yes. Coming. He's going, yesolin. His next target. When they do the movie about him?
Yes.
Coming.
He's going, yes.
Oh, come on.
1,000 pounds.
1,000 pounds.
Yes!
Oh, wow.
The moment of darting history.
Darting history.
The most epic finale in history.
Absolutely amazing.
He was so serious we did not
see his mouth and then afterwards when he smiled
who knew he would have fucked up teeth.
This is amazing.
He's going yes, yes.
Hit the 18. So that's what I said.
Darts, bowling, pogo.
I'm going bocce.
Darts, bowling, bocce.
I'm going darts, bowling, bocce. I go bocce. I'm going, right? Darts, bowling, bocce. Bowling, darts, bocce. Yep, I'm going darts, bowling, bocce.
I go bocce.
So gay.
Bowling and darts are tied for last.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, but you put darts last.
You're saying you'd rather bowl than darts.
Okay, bocce, darts, bowl.
You know what I'm being like?
Lucky strike where it's basically a club, good food, good drinks.
It's not fun though, bro.
It's like, I don't make those kinds of places.
Mr. No fun. Captain no fun. No, I don't like those kinds of places because if I want to go to a club, I'll go basically a club, good food, good drinks. It's not fun though, bro. It's like, I don't like those kinds of places. Mr. No fun.
No, I don't like those kinds of places
because if I want to go to a club,
I'll go to a club.
If I want to go bowling,
I'll go bowling.
I don't want to do the fucking,
it's too loud.
I want to bowl,
I want to talk to people.
Two birds, one ball.
Bowling's fun if you like
hang out with your friends,
like couple bowling.
But I'd rather just hang out
with my friends.
Captain No Fun.
I don't like games.
I know it sucks.
Kristen always wants to play a yacht, or not Yahtzee, what's the one? Yeah, Yahtzee with her family. i don't like games i know it sucks kristen always wants to play a yacht
or not yahtzee what's the one yeah yahtzee we don't have game night no oh i got really shit
night every night is really shit dude i don't play no games oh my god yo yo look at me man
i'm real as fuck authentic street and real avenue street that's where i grew up you need
you gotta play no noopoly. No Monopoly?
Baltic.
You're like, oh, you landed on Authentic Street.
It's going to be $200 in rent.
You need to play Monopoly and stuff, man.
I played it when I was a kid.
Park Place?
I'm sure your parents were like, all right.
Yeah, nah.
Nah.
I haven't played in a while.
We would just roast each other all fucking growing up.
My son got a Golden Hour game night.
What'd you say?
Golden Hour game night on an episode.
That'd be fun.
Chris would love that.
Yeah, I mean, I would do it for the podcast,
but that'd be fun.
I'm odd job.
We could do that for a Patreon exclusive or some shit.
That'd be dope.
I'm odd job.
No, I'm odd job.
What do you mean, I'm odd job?
What do you mean?
For what?
Because he's a short guy, hard to hit.
Some people think he's cheating.
See, I didn't say it, but I told him earlier,
I want to bring in GoldenEye and have you guys play. Oh, GoldenEye. But I didn't
say it just now. No, no, no. He said GoldenHour.
Game Night and GoldenHour. Oh, yeah, yeah.
I thought you were saying you were bringing GoldenEye.
He got cauliflower here, huh? It's always blocking
all the... You know what it does? It blocks the
sounds. That sucks,
right? He said GoldenHour.
Brandon!
Brandon!
He's calling for you. You know that, right?
Can you feel
the Dahmer energy headed your way?
Can we get through
a fucking episode?
I will eat your dick!
Can we get through
one?
Oh my god.
No, you know where we'd be in the fridge. You'd be like this you'd be like no no dick
Is it that one with a butter is
No, it's economy
Yeah, oh whatever bro the fuck out here, that's a you joke. Disgusting. I want it right there.
With the eggs?
You know the little egg things?
Just take a bite of it. That's where the balls are.
Just take a bite of it like a cucumber.
The balls are where the eggs are.
Imagine your family died by Dahmer.
Here he is again, everybody.
Walking in front of the camera.
Imagine your family died by Dahmer and we're like,
us idiots are oops.
And us idiots are out here making fun of your fucking family's cocks and balls and ice trays.
That's true.
We're so sorry.
Now, Brendan, what did you have to say?
Hey, is it poor taste if my flyer for Milwaukee is the Dahmer cover but my face?
Whatever, bro.
Is that poor taste?
It doesn't matter.
Is that poor taste?
Is that too much?
I already did it.
You already did it.
It's in the works.
Let me send it to Nick.
Nick, what do you think? King it or sting it? I mean, I wouldn't even have thought did it. It's in the works. Let me send it to Nick. What do you think?
King it or sting it?
I mean, I wouldn't even have thought about it.
I wouldn't have done it, but that's me.
It's sour or power.
Sour or power.
Sour or power, yeah.
That's good.
Sour or power.
Yeah, is that poor taste?
I mean, it happened so long ago.
It is if you think about it.
Yeah, but you thought about it.
But Dom is so hot right now.
You're a cuda, bro.
And it's his hometown. You're a cuda, bro. And it's his hometown.
You're a cuda.
Hey, guys, look.
Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming up.
The Golden Hour subs at gmail.com.
Send in your holiday-themed, you know, like,
Segment, submissions.
What are your favorite gifts?
What's your favorite way to do Thanksgiving?
Funny stories you got.
Send them all in.
Worst part about Thanksgiving,
worst Christmas gift you've ever got,
best Christmas gift,
worst side dish at Thanksgiving.
There you go.
Also to even celebrate Thanksgiving.
Yeah, so send in the submissions,
thegoldenhoursubs at gmail.com
so we can talk about it on the show
and you might make the show.
And we appreciate you sending in all your subs
and we appreciate you listening always.
Thanks a lot, you guys.
The Golden Hour.
Did you send it to me?
Yeah, I just sent a text to you.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy.
You're a cool guy. You're a cool guy. You're a Whatever. Too much? No. Is that too much? It's so bad.
The poor taste.
Oh, my God.
I mean, do you have to make my nose crooked like that, though?
It is pretty crooked.
Your nose isn't crooked.
I broke it.
Yeah, but it looks fine. Is it crooked?
Oh, it is crooked.
Let me see.
Look over here.
Not like that.
Not like that.
It's the stones in it.
Not like that.
Well, that's just shading, you know?
Ah, that's a crooked nose.
Right, guys.
Wow, what if he looked like...
You know who he looked like?
The fucking magician in Steve Carell played.
Oh, Wanderlust.
With the hair, yeah.
Whatever it was.
God, when chicks say they're into Wanderlust,
Jesus Christ, you know?
They like to travel.
Incredible Burt Wonderstone.
Yeah.
Jim Carrey, that is fantastic.
That's you.
Yeah, Jim Carrey's fantastic in everything.
Yeah, he is.
Never misses.
All right, what's this guy want?
Is this Brendan?
Hey, can you just ding it?
South Africa?
Bruce Lee or Mike Tyson, who would win in a fight?
Oh, that's too easy.
I mean, what?
I'm going with King Bruce.
No, bro.
He's never fought. He's the master. No, bro. He's never fought.
He's the master of the Dark Arts.
He's a movie star.
He never fought.
Yes, he did.
No, he didn't.
Yes, he did.
Also, it doesn't matter.
Mike Tyson, Mike.
Mike would rip his fucking head off.
He fought.
Stop it, Nick.
I'll tell you right now.
Mike Tyson would brutalize.
What did you say?
Rabbit, Mike Tyson, or Bruce Lee?
Hey, man.
Can you get to work?
He said, you're fired.
He said Tyson.
It's not even a fight.
That's stupid.
Yeah, it's not a question.
Bruce Lee had one fight in Long Beach, but it was like a point sparring match.
He never had actual any official fights.
There's nothing on that.
He was an actor.
Didn't he win the Jiu-Jitsu championships or something?
No, he don't know Jiu-Jitsu.
Whatever it was.
No, his shit was the G-Quando. He don't know Jiu-Jitsu. Yeah, but He don't know Jiu-Jitsu. Whatever it was. No, his shit was G-Quando.
He don't know Jiu-Jitsu.
Yeah, but didn't he fight?
Mike Tyson would rip.
Also, just so you guys know, Bruce Lee was 135 pounds.
Well, that's different.
Mike Tyson would rip his fucking face off.
Rip his face off.
Not even close.
Not even close.
One's a real fighter.
One's an actor.
And listen, I'm a Bruce Lee fan.
He wasn't an actor.
He became an actor because of what he did. Lee fan he wasn't an actor he became an actor
because of what he did
no no no
he was a really good
he was a good businessman
that's what he did
that was his best thing
he was open minded
listen legend
pioneer
not a fighter
he wasn't a real fighter
you know about
you know about Bruce Leroy
yeah
you know about the movie
Bruce Leroy
yeah
bro
sure enough
you're talking about
The Last Dragon yeah that's just like you know what the movie Bruce Lee, right? Yeah, bro show enough. So I'm talking about the last dragon. Yeah. Yeah
That's just like you know what what that was the widest thing you've ever said
Cuz it's called the last track. I know but you didn't say that
I know because I said the main character you said we were to Bruce Lee Bruce Lee
I thought you guys over said last dragon. That's actual name of Bruce Lee's right. That's what I'm saying. This one. Yeah
I see what you did there. Yeah, the show enough, bro.
That's Alex
Caceresi. A real UFC fighter named Bruce Leroy.
Oh, there is?
He goes by it because he looks exactly like him.
He looks like, oh, that guy.
Is he cut, Nick?
I haven't seen him for a while,
but he beat... I mean, he could be circumcised.
I don't think he's cut.
He won last time.
He has a
hood on his dick. For a while, but he beat. He could be circumcised. I don't think he's cut. He won last time.
He has a hood on his dick.
I'm interested to see Bruce Lee's history.
You know Bruce Lee?
You know in the movie Once Upon a Time in Hollywood where Brad Pitt throws Bruce Lee into the thing?
He's a stuntman.
You know that Quentin Tarantino just didn't make that up that's why the bruce lee movie was mad or family was mad right gene labelle who's the king of judo
yeah was actual stuntman and fucked bruce lee up that's a real story right right right yeah i heard
about that no i'm bro i'm not i'm so sorry i just yeah that was so aggressive sounded like you guys
don't believe in ghosts you don't believe in uh you know psychics you don't believe in ghosts. You don't believe in psychics. You don't believe in Bruce Lee.
No, you don't believe in Bruce Lee, bro. Pick your words.
Pick it.
I believe in him as an actor, not as a fighter.
You don't believe in spelling.
It's water.
It's water.
You put water in a bottle, you become the bottle.
Oh, wow.
That is.
That's like your Jamaican accent, remember?
Yeah, I didn't.
Hey, man, pick out a movie on the air.
You put water in the bottle, man, and the bottle, you become the bottle. Boom, boom, the air. Remember? I didn't. Hey, man. Picote movie on the air. You put water in the bottle.
Man.
And the bottle, you become the bottle boom boom era.
Boom boom boy.
Yeah.
Wow.
Can you imagine that Enter the Dragon made $200 million back then?
It did?
Yeah.
Whoa.
There were still a lot of Asians.
Even though there's a lot of Asians now, there were still a lot of Asians.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Gene LaBelle.
Is he still alive?
No,
he passed away.
We're recently though,
right?
Well,
it'd be $400 million.
And you know,
Bruce Lee,
right?
His,
his death,
he's murdered,
right?
You know,
they think he died from aspirin,
but who killed him?
Well,
you're,
you're,
you're,
you're,
um,
what's his name?
I was shown.
I was shown. So what happened? Well, his, his son died myster? Al Shones. Al Shones.
So what happened?
Well, his son died mysteriously, too.
Yeah, he also died.
Brandon Lee.
Remember the crow?
Yeah, the crow.
The crow was on set with a bullet, boom, to the chest.
He was going to be a star because he had that.
Yeah, he was, bro.
He was about to blow up.
He's bigger than his dad.
He was in that movie with Dolph Lundgren.
He had that famous line, you have the biggest dick or something like that.
Oh, is that a porn?
That's a porn you saw yesterday.
No.
Brandon Lee says to Dolph Lundgren,
you have a huge dick or something like that.
Wait, what movie?
Masters of the Universe?
No, this one right here.
It was Showdown in Little Tokyo.
Thank you.
He says that to him?
Yes, and he says it.
That was an ad lib I heard.
It might have been. No, I'm kidding. He's improv-ing? Yes and he says it That was an ad lib I heard It might have been
No I'm kidding
He's improv-ing?
Oh
You have the big
So Brandon
This time
Just say whatever you want
Have a good time today
And action
The director like this
I don't know
Leave it in
It's kind of wacky
And scene
You have the biggest dick
I've ever seen on a white man
You have the biggest dick
And we're shortened
By Warner Brothers So you have the biggest dick I've ever seen on a white man. You have the biggest dick. And we're shortened by Warner Brothers, so you have the biggest dick I've ever seen on a man.
They took out white man.
On a white man.
Yeah, look up Bruce Lee's death.
Look it up on your own time.
But it is shady as fuck.
Really?
Yeah, yeah.
Well, we're going to look that up later.
Can't wait.
Conspiracy.
Wow.
You're getting better at singing, bro.
You're practicing.
Eric's practicing behind closed doors, dude. This is bullshit.
What's got Nick?
Hey, Nick, you're with me on Bruce Lee's death, right?
I actually haven't heard it.
I haven't heard about it at all. The last flight I was on, I watched
the 30 for 30 on his life, but
it didn't touch that.
That's ESPN owned by ABC, owned by Disney.
Was it ESPN 9? I'm a sheep. You're a fucking sheep, bro. Get on Bruce Lee's life. That's ESPN owned by ABC, owned by Disney. Was it ESPN 9?
I'm a sheep.
You're a fucking sheep, bro. Get on this Alex Jones level.
You know what you're doing?
You're pushing me, right?
You call me Alex Jones.
Pushing over to the right?
Well, I didn't even much of a push, did I?
But I wear the merch.
My nudging?
You're nudging me over the edge.
Don't push me.
Don't push me to the right, bro.
Eric is a staunch Republican.
I'm not.
No, he won't left.
You believe in no rights for anyone.
Won't left.
Not even myself.
Nope.
It's like that Chappelle's catch where he's like a blind racist.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Actually, why don't we just take a break?
I got to get some water.
I'm going to put some water on.
I'm going to get some water.
Let's get this out.
We'll be good.
Peace.
What's up with the Ice House?
Have you heard about the Ice House?
Dude.
Is it coming out?
Two.
Oh, fuck.
You struck me.
I was at Halloween Horror Nights Universal.
This guy comes to me and goes, dude, what are you doing in the Ice House?
Who are you?
I go, well, I miss the Ice House.
Who are you?
He goes, I'm the owner, the new owner, whatever, bus.
Oh, it was him.
He's like, you're going to come there, right?
I'm like, oh, we're all waiting for you to open up, man. I go, when do you open? I think he said next year. Didn't listen to the most important part. No, it was him. He's like, you're going to come there, right? I'm like, oh, we're all waiting for you to open up, man.
And when he opened,
I think he said...
Didn't listen to the most important part.
No, no.
This motherfucker, dude.
I think he said March...
How long do I have left to live, Doc?
Six weeks.
How long do I have left to live,
Brendan?
Oh, no, no.
The doctor came in
and I asked him.
He was asking about my shoes.
No, he said I have the biggest... I got a hookup for you. He's never seen a white guy. No my shoes No he said
I got a hook up for you
He's never seen a white guy
No
He
I think he said
March
Oh cool
March April
Next year
Cool
It sounded like he didn't know
To be honest
Well what the fuck
Of course he doesn't
He's fucking bust right
Yeah but it's all his money
Yeah but I saw Jeff Dye
The other night
And Jeff
Jeff Dye
Yeah Jeff was
Cause he's like really good friends
With Jeannie Buss
Super close with him And he said to me that they
have really they don't have anything to do with it oh really no that's not true
that's not true I'm trying to talk to the guy but I know it says that I know
that's what I'm saying so I know I gotta hit him up me like uh I think you're
wrong bro you do on it I talked to the fucking owner and I talked to hit him up and be like, I think you're wrong, bro. You do own it. I talked to the fucking owner.
And I talked to the manager.
He goes to the Laker games.
I know.
Could have been a hologram.
But Jenny Buss, her team's fucking terrible.
You think when he's-
What's her name?
Is it Jenny?
Jenna?
I don't know what the fuck it is.
I dream of-
I think her name's Wheels on the-
Jeannie Buss.
Yeah.
She's worried about the Lakers
She thinks she gives a fuck
What her little brother's doing
With the comedy club
Her team's fucking terrible
She's like
I don't fucking know dude
You're probably not
Never opening
You know
Oh Jay Davis
Oh what we got here
Look at this dude
Okay
Uh oh
Fuck it
What's up guys
Brian here from Indiana
Love the rebrand
Let's just start with that
What'd he say
Love the rebrand Catching just start with that what do you think love the rebrand catching a vibe
okay over here in indiana we got a whitetail season full effect the rut starts this weekend
and i'll be out there with a rifle myself um looking to take down that big buck okay but um
the dough fill the freezer just as well butate Club, what's the animal that you would like to have
mounted on your wall?
Ooh.
Land, sea, sky.
Woo, woo, woo.
Wow, it just went right to Eric.
That's what I'd like to have on my wall, Eric, just like this.
And then you hit a button,
and this goes Woo woo
Yeah
No
He would like that
But you know how this does
Like three or four of them
That's what it would be
One of them would be
Yeah yeah yeah
I like
I would have like
Eric's face on the wall
And then you go behind him
In the room behind him
And it's his back half
And it shows his hairy ass
Oh
Just
Fuck it
Come around back Check this out and it shows his hairy ass. Ooh. Just... Fuck it.
Come around back.
Check this out.
Check this out.
Look at... It's like...
It's not even propped up or stuff.
It's just hung like that.
That's like those porn videos
like that...
What is it?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Glory Hole.
No, but sometimes
they just put the whole chicken thing
and their pussies out thing and their pussy's out.
Yeah.
It's weird.
It's so Eastern European.
And there's guys just walking around.
You know what I mean?
Chicks at different levels and shit.
They're betting on your height.
You don't know it?
No.
You've never seen that?
The algorithm doesn't recommend that one.
Oh.
It's porno.
Oh, yeah, porno.
But it's porno.
It doesn't recommend it.
There's always some weird European.
It's bringing me a lot of transgender.
It's so Eastern European. It's so East. It's like they didn't even create it yet. It's a porn house. You go to a porn house. It's always some weird European place. It's bringing me a lot of transgender. It's so Eastern European.
It's so East.
It's like they didn't even create it yet.
It's so East.
These dudes come in and they're just like, yes, yes, yes.
And they're looking.
They're looking like they're looking for cell phones.
The girl's inside a room.
Yep.
And it's half her body's out.
No, no.
And so the camera's this way.
One camera's this way.
And she's just like this.
Ah, ah.
This is a chick.
And then on the other side.
Right.
This is a chick.
This is all it shows.
And the guy's like, hey, hey, hey. And the guy manipulates her legs. And he's just like this. This is a chick. And then on the other side. This is a chick. This is all it shows. And the guy's like,
hey, hey, hey.
And the guy manipulates her legs
and he's just like this
and he goes like this
and he's like,
hey, hey, hey.
And then he's got a camera
with the girls in the box.
He's got a camera up there
and she's just like
looking at the camera
getting fucking filled.
And it's nice.
You know, it's really nice.
No, but I don't know.
Sounds like you guys are into it.
Well, I don't know.
The whole thing is
where is that place, number one? Not geographically, but I don't know. Well, I don't know the whole thing is like where is that place number one?
Not not not geographically, but like what kind of building is it in?
It's a weird warehouse, bro. They have a place they show I've seen these videos
They show the dudes show up and they pay money to go in. Yeah, you've seen it
Yeah, so there's like a ticket booth. Yeah in a box. Is that the red light district?
It's the weirdest district. I have no idea. But have you ever came across an actual glory hole?
No.
Where, bro?
That's what I'm asking.
Oh, you haven't?
No.
Oh, you said it like you had.
No.
I would never stick my wiener through there.
No, when you see a glory hole, you know the only thing to do is to put your mouth around it.
That's the only thing you can do.
You can't put your fucking mouth.
Well, that's the other side of the glory hole.
I know, I know.
You're either putting your dick in or you're just like...
Maybe you're just kind of like...
You got to beat the...
No, you're hitting the eye.
You're hitting the eye.
You got to put your dick in first so you don't ram.
How hilarious is it if you were like,
yo, you want to try?
I know about this glory hole.
You want to go?
And you're like, yeah, all right, bro.
Yeah, cool.
Yeah, there's chicks on the other side.
That's fucking awesome.
So you go in the fucking thing and you can do the glory hole
and then you go to your friend
and then the friend just goes,
kneels down and puts his mouth around it.
And you're like, bro, you put your dick in it.
This is the wrong way.
You're gay.
Oh, I didn't mean that at all.
I know how it works.
Well, what animal?
I think.
Yeah.
I hate birds.
I want one on my wall.
It looks too weird to me.
It has to be something dangerous like a great white lion.
I was thinking of a great white lion.
It would be crazy if a shark head is on your wall.
Scuba diver.
Oh, I would do like a stingray And then I would lie
I would kill a big ass stingray
And lie and be like that's the one that killed Steve Irwin
Everyone would be like oh that's so cool
Killed a crocodile
So I killed him
My grandma had a big swordfish in her basement
And it fucking terrified me I'd never go down there
But I don't know
I saw what was it, a moose?
That was cool.
I was in Denver and there was a place.
It was big.
Bro, this is what I was going to tell you.
They had the moose head, the bust on the wall.
I had no idea they were that big.
Have you seen one in person, like an actual live one?
No.
In Montana, they were like, there's a moose on the property,
so they put me and the family
in the car
and they're like,
we're going to drive up to it.
This thing,
he goes from hoof
to fucking top of the antler,
10 feet.
From hoof to antler.
Dude, that's scary.
You know what?
They're enormous.
You know what's scary about that
is I've seen,
I saw this thing about a deer.
Look at that.
Yeah, that's crazy.
It's bigger than the fucking car.
Go to the one with the car.
Go to the one with the car.
That's bigger than the car.
Look at that, bro.
So I saw a thing where a car hits a deer.
Yeah.
And then the deer is inside with the antlers.
Let's go like this.
Killed the whole family.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah, because you know what you got to do with the deer?
If you're just going to hit it, you got to speed up so it goes over, not through.
Science.
No, they knock.
You kill those deer.
I had a buddy that was driving
and hit the fucking deer yeah exactly they're so big the car stops the deer doesn't die no the deer
no he just goes boom like it was like it was a very light hit but they don't fucking um they
don't move the deer don't move no they go freeze it's like dude one time i was in it i saw four
deer i was i was four i was driving by it was driving by four deer. I was driving by, four deer in the thing.
I slow down and the deer come up to me and they go,
get the fuck out of the car, they stole my car.
Those weren't white-tailed deers.
The antler was on your neck, you're like, okay man.
Be cool, man, be cool, bro.
Get out.
I got kids, man, be cool.
Sorry, I'm sorry, in the background just a second.
Come on, motherfucker motherfucker we're ready
yeah that's just
it's spooky
white tail dude
that's good y'all
thanks dude
alright good for you
thank you
cool
it went under the radar
but I wanted to give you props
yeah thank you
you guys were pretty cool
so yeah I don't know
I don't know
I don't know
it has to be something
that can kill you
where it's scary
like a big grizzly bear
would be dope
we could have a little bee
nobody knew
yeah but if you have
a grizzly bear like a killer bear I wouldn't want a grizzly if you have big grizzly bear would be dope. We could have a little bee. Nobody knew. Yeah, but if you have a grizzly bear.
Like a killer bear?
I wouldn't want a grizzly.
If you have a grizzly bear, you don't get the head.
No, you got the full body.
You put the whole.
You got to stuff it up.
Yeah.
Montana airport.
Montana airport.
Yeah.
You get out.
There's a taxidermy giant bear.
Just.
Wow.
I'd want like a dinosaur head.
Very Nicolas Cage of you.
Yeah.
He went broke paying for that shit.
Yeah.
You bought a T-Rex head?
A natural T-Rex head.
Can you imagine thinking that you're so rich that you could buy dumb shit like that and
think that the money's never going to end?
No, no, no.
You know he bought castles, like old school medieval castles.
Well, he thought it was going to be an investment.
Yep.
Yeah.
It was, which is bad.
He could have Airbnb'd.
Oh, you don't want to buy my castle?
Imagine you own a dumbass castle, and then someone's like, you don't want to buy my castle? Imagine you own a dumbass castle.
And then someone's like, you can't sell it.
And they're like, Nicolas Cage?
What?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, bring him in.
Right, right.
What kind of dumb realtor does...
That guy's a shyster, right?
That's got fucking Nicolas Cage buying a bunch of dumb shit.
Oh, yeah, bro.
Plus, there's no AC or heat in those castles.
Yeah. But that's not why you get a castle listen to this bougie ass motherfucker you're called a castle you buy the
castle he's like what's the central air looking like in this castle well bro think about the
breeze coming through in the winter it's so wet i kind of get it it's echoey and shit yeah it's
cold as fuck there's stones everywhere you airbnb that shit out if you're nicholas cage you airbnb
that castle you would stay for a weekend.
Nicolas Cage's castle?
Yeah.
But he has to stay in it for a little while.
Because that's the selling point.
Sometimes Nicolas Cage is here.
Sometimes, you know, don't pay attention to him.
Up in the tower.
Yeah, he's going to walk by.
Yeah, don't go in the tower.
It's like Beauty and the Beast.
You can go anywhere.
Just don't go in that over there.
He's shooting guns 60 seconds too.
I got to go in there.
Isn't that crazy about human nature?
Well, you know like the Home Alone house in Chicago?
It's like $8,500 a night.
I was going to do it for one night.
The Workaholics house.
The people are, they're Airbnb and that.
They Airbnb it as the Workaholics house.
Really?
Yeah.
How much is it?
I have no idea, but look it up.
I've been there.
Where's that at?
Where's the Workaholics? It's in like Van Nuys or whatever it is. Rancho Cucamonga, isn't it there. Where's that at? It's in Van Nuys or whatever it is.
Rancho Cucamonga, isn't it?
No, no, no.
It's in Van Nuys.
Yeah, they live in there.
You know Friends was in New York, right, Nick?
That was fake, yeah.
We just rocked his world.
It's like, hey, Santa's not real.
You touched my leg.
That's one.
I've actually touched your thing a few times.
Yeah, so the Workaholics house is like, you know,
somebody would have bought that.
I feel like I should have just bought it.
It couldn't be that expensive out there.
It says $185 a night.
$185?
I don't trust that.
Airbnb, $185 a night?
Well, it was a dump at the time.
It looks nice now.
When we were making the show, it wasn't.
They actually lived there.
Yeah, well, only for a second.
Well, for the first season they did.
I did the first season.
And then one of the guys, Kyle, which was Adam's good friend,
became his assistant for a little while.
He was staying there.
Let me ask you this.
I know what Homeboy and Adam does in the middle, a great comic.
The other two, what do they do now?
I know they have a podcast.
Anders is always working.
Yeah, Anders is always working.
He was in a great Netflix series just recently,
and then he's about to be on – he's got a new –
A new one, yeah.
What is it?
Yeah, it's the animated thing.
What's the other guy doing?
It's a big superhero one and something else.
He's in that stand-up comedy movie with Chris Rock a couple years ago.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, but he's got some big stuff coming out.
And Blake is – man, he's got a good – he's got not a T-shirt company,
but a clothing line that's really huge.
Yeah, it's cool.
And he's in that show Woke.
Right.
Cool dudes.
Oh, yeah, great guys.
And we're about to do Workaholics movie.
You are?
Oh, what?
And you're in it?
Yeah.
So you're going to miss a bunch of Golden Hour?
I don't know. You know, it's funny because I told my guy, I was like, hey, man, this is what we're doing it. Yeah. So you're going to miss a bunch of Golden Hour? I don't know.
You know, it's funny because I told my guy, I was like, hey, man, this is what we're doing now.
I need my Tuesdays.
Right, right, right.
See, I like that shit.
But if it, I mean, but you know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, don't be that guy.
Choose Hollywood over podcast.
Well, I mean.
I get it.
Last one.
Also haven't seen it.
And it's too long.
It's a minute 20. Make them 40 seconds or under. Okay. Oh, I'm already get it last one also haven't seen it and it's too long. It's a minute 20 make them 40 seconds or under
Okay. Oh, I'm already out on this guy
My name is Jacob. I'm 22 and I live in Atlanta, Georgia, and I got a debate
Plants first things first Chris Talia. I have life ribs tattooed on my thigh and I'm literally doing a solo pod
Prove it. There you go. Guess who's my favorite?
Eric Griffin, I love you on Workaholics.
Thank you for reaching back to me on Instagram.
It actually really meant a lot.
If you don't remember, it only hurts a little bit.
Mr. Brendan Schaub, the gringo poppy.
I want to try some of that thick boy nectar.
I bet it tastes great.
I got to say, I admire the way you're able to branch out into different businesses and
excel.
Fighting, comedy, podcast, networking, your own alcohol.
It's really wild to watch.
Here's my debate club for you, though.
See how trauma-
In the United States, do you feel like there's more eye or teeth problems?
I thought about this while I was driving.
Oh, what a great question.
Send it your way.
We have Chris and Eric, both wear glasses.
And then, Brendan, you eat fucking cookies
filled with icing, apparently. Not anymore.
That's some George Washington
teeth made out of wood type shit. Correct. And mine are
also from slaves. So, more.
Your teeth are made from
actually made from slaves.
What do you think? You know
that, right? Oh, God. A lot of times
he says, you know that, right? It's like I'm a
history teacher up in this bitch. Can you even imagine going to that class oh my god yeah now hold on
there's gonna be some grammar mom who's george who's george boshington yeah yeah yeah and then
the teacher said his teeth were made from slaves you'd be mixing them up. Abraham Washington. Yeah, yeah, yeah. George Lincoln. He would do his A-blinkin'.
Cut down a peach tree.
A-blinkin'.
Cut down a peach tree.
No, I'm serious.
He didn't have wooden teeth.
They were slaves teeth.
These are facts, Eric.
Okay, can you look it up?
Look it up, Eric.
It's an important issue.
That'd be kind of something I think would be out there.
It's out there.
The point is-
It doesn't make sense they had wooden teeth.
They were slaves teeth.
What do you mean by this, though?
Everyone thinks he had teeth made of wood.
That's the big theory on that.
But his teeth were actually slaves' teeth.
He paid for them.
And he put other people's teeth in his own mouth?
Yes.
Yeah, this seems very like Silence of the Lambs.
It's not wood.
The enduring is the story wherein the young future president was supposed to have chopped down a cherry tree and swiftly come clean about it.
All fake.
There's just no truth to it whatsoever.
In fact, Washington had multiple sets of dentures that were made from everything from ivory, metal alloys, and most disturbingly, the teeth of other humans.
Quite possibly slaves.
That's all it took.
According to the Mount Vernon's Ladies Association, Washington's...
That's how we get rid of you?
...show that he purchased two brushes and two powders beginning at least in his early 20s. That's all it took? That's how we get rid of you?
Okay, stop this for a second.
It's like I'm the only one with two degrees in here.
Oh, my God.
It's frustrating.
Listen, I'm a history teacher.
A broken clock is right twice a day.
Whenever I say this stuff, I've never been wrong.
Can you fact check that? Right now, show a montage of every time he's been wrong. That's, can you fact check that?
Right now, show a montage of every time he's been wrong. Bring it up.
It's right every single time.
George Washington and teeth from enslaved people.
So strange.
Who the fuck would make that up?
He put it in his ledger.
You think I will be canceled?
Negroes for nine teeth.
Now you got to take away the, now we got to... What do we do with the dollar now?
You know what I mean?
That's why we give it to strippers, I guess.
Wow.
Yeah.
So, all right.
So, what were we talking about, though?
Teeth or eye problems.
Here's the problem.
Way more teeth problems.
Eye problem is your problem.
Teeth problem, that's everybody else's problem.
I don't want to have to look at your fucking bullshit teeth.
I hate bad teeth.
Sorry, boss.
No, I never noticed.
Nick's teeth are...
Never noticed. Oh, wow. Now that's all I can see. All I can see now when I hate bad teeth. Sorry, boss. No, I never noticed. Nick's teeth are a ton of shit. Oh, wow.
Now that's all I can see.
All I can see now when I see Nick is just like,
you know, a curtain opens.
Let me see your teeth.
Did you have braces? Yeah.
Let me see yours. Honestly,
I don't care if they're crooked. I don't want
them to be all fucked up and dirty and brown.
No, you want brown. I drink a lot of coffee.
I don't like this.
I don't, yeah. Snagaggle tooth kind of hot sometimes i don't like that snaggle tooth kind of hot i like that shit a little snaggle tooth it could be yeah it makes
a girl interesting yeah you should have bad parent no it should yeah sometimes if a girl's perfect
but you got one little thing with her teeth like a snaggle thing like a thing that goes out something
that you can put a little penny on no i grew up addicted to sugar my parents never they never regulated my sugar so i grew up eating sugar
and then uh they just didn't you know follow up with me brushing my teeth so my teeth are really
fucked up like the backs is all fake right now no they're from slaves but um no uh i can't eat
sugar my slaves he means it's like nick chin look. Look at Nick, he smiles like, oh my God, Nick, you don't have many teeth.
Well, really, they're from slaves.
It's like Theo's hair is actually Nick's hair.
These are actually Theo's teeth.
We killed him.
I killed him and took his teeth.
Theo's in a back room like a...
And Dahmer, full circle.
We just make him do his podcast.
Dahmer, full circle again.
And I'm in Milwaukee tonight and Saturday.
Anyway, so my teeth, I use that toothpaste, you know, the big, the fluoride's bad.
I used it for months and it fucked up my teeth.
Wow.
It's why they're so sensitive.
I can't touch sugar, which is why I'm losing weight because I can't eat sugar anymore.
That's how you do it.
Fuck your teeth up.
Yeah.
Wow, that's incredible.
I think that it's, but what's the answer?
Is there more teeth problems or eye problems? Te everyone's got eye problems everyone's got eye problems everyone
has teeth problems everyone's teeth problems but the teeth problems who makes more money
all right yeah ophthalmologist or the dentist no i would say i would say i would say i don't know
yeah i don't know either oh you're not even close i don't even know has no idea but what are you
not nick i'm getting what are your facts based on right now?
Feelings.
Think how many people go to the dentist.
How many times does someone go, I got this eye appointment, man?
Very rare.
Everybody goes to the dentist.
Not everybody goes to the eye doctor.
I mean, I guess they do, but.
No, but you buy, you were talking about just buying glasses.
Just the idea of glasses.
Hold up, hold up.
So what's this?
This on the right is actually optometrist.
On the left is dentist.
But I feel like dentist has a bigger range because you can get like –
If you're in Beverly Hills putting teeth on people.
So hold on.
Optometrists make that much a year?
That's – wow.
And we're not also counting the sunglasses people and all those –
No, sunglasses don't account for eye issues.
I'm just saying buying glasses.
I'm saying any the glasses
industry not sunglasses i'm not talking about seeing eyeglasses but if that's the case then
we have to count like toothpaste as the i think uh yeah i don't know it's a tough call maybe maybe
you guys ever heard of sphinctering no it's for your butt yes but i know what do you do
yeah you put sphinctering and then somebody comes.
Google it, Nick.
It's a lie.
Shark cake.
It's not.
Look up sphinctering.
Shitnaka.
Remember binaka?
I like binaka.
The spray?
Shit.
Binaka, yeah.
Shit.
That's stupid.
So stupid.
These are just great products.
Thank you.
Sphinctering gives you confidence.
No, I knew it was a real thing.
In your face.
In your butt.
I never denied it.
Now your face can be in my butt.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now your butt can smell as good as your face.
Spincterine.
I'll tell you what.
We started this episode talking about the centipede.
If we do do centipede, let's use that, fellas, huh?
I guess you would have to.
But you'd always be talking about it because I'd be behind like, dude, where's your sphincter?
Let's make sure we get that sphincter
in today. You didn't
sphincter today? Is that it, Nick?
That's it. Imagine a product. That's just a great
product. Who thought of that? I don't think
they do that well. I don't think it's a great product.
I don't think that many people are going to be like that.
I don't think we're making golden hour sphincter
rings. Dude, if you're not into ass,
that's all. You know what's great. You know what's a great gift holiday?
Tickets to the show.
Yes, I knew you were going to go there.
Well, you should go to Wise Guys tonight, Las Vegas, because I'm there right now.
It's a great club.
Locals in Vegas, get your ass there to Wise Guys.
And the day after Thanksgiving, I'm in the Addison Improv.
So come check me out.
And December 1st through the 3rd, Zany's in Chicago.
Come check me out.
I'm taking David Murphy with me.
Oh, nice. And I'm milwaukee as we speak right now milwaukee's friday night two
shows saturday two shows check the fridge and then december early december i'm in providence
rhode island those shows are almost sold out probably gonna add shows if they'll sell out
uh this week then the following week i'm uh second week of december i'm in D.C., Washington, D.C., D.C. Improv.
I am in, Nick, go down a little more.
Tickets at bigboy.com.
San Diego.
I got Portland.
You're going too fast.
You're going too fast.
You're going too fast.
San Antonio.
Seattle, Washington.
Well, my eyes.
Providence, Rhode Island.
New Orleans.
Hey, just say you're everywhere.
Just say you're everywhere.
Thursday.com.
New York, New York.
Tube shows.
Chicago, Illinois. Kansas City. Springfield. I don't like your energy. Tulsa. I don't like your Thursday.com, New York, New York, Tube Shows, Chicago, Illinois,
Kansas City, Springfield. I don't like your energy.
Tulsa, Austin, Midland, Columbus,
Minneapolis, Cincinnati, Boise, Idaho.
Arena?
You play in an arena in Boise?
You think you're better than me, Eric?
Oh, look at that.
Hey, you see what you did?
You think you're better than us?
Yeah, he does.
You play in an arena.
Oh, look at that.
I'm playing in an arena.
I hope your chair goes down.
My chair?
Yeah, it goes shh.
Every time you're back, it goes shh.
Thanks, guys. Yep. Is that it? Yeah. We love? Yeah, it goes, shh. Every time you're back, go, shh. Thanks, guys.
Yep.
Is that it?
Yeah.
We love you guys.
We're friends that laugh.
We're friends that shout.
Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about.
But that won't stop us.
Nothing can stop us.
Ooh, yeah.
Cause I can show you Use the love
Just rebrand it enough
It's stronger, better, bigger power
Cause it is the
Golden Hour
It's the
Golden Hour