The Golden Hour - Kung Fu Zombies | The Golden Hour #35 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: June 30, 2023

The guys reminisce about their childhood toys and first cars, discuss their favorite Black Mirror episodes, and talk Brendan's visit to Glenn Beck's studio, movies you can watch m...ore than once, Chris and Erik vs Brendan and a fight, Nicks's dating life, Erik's Chinese restaurant story, why Chris' farts don't smell and much more! Get two extra episodes every month at https://Patreon.com/TheGoldenHourPodcast 

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 We're friends that laugh, we're friends that shout Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about But that won't stop us Nothing can stop us Cause I can show you used to love Just rebranded enough It's stronger, better, bigger power Cause it is the Golden Hour
Starting point is 00:00:28 It's the Golden Hour I only saw the first two. That's it? I said watch all of them. You gotta watch all of them. Well, I didn't yet. I watched all of them on a plane. Instead, I watched Tulsa King.
Starting point is 00:00:43 Good show. So good. Samir Salon's funny in it. Yeah. Hey, I watched Tulsa King. It's a good show. So good. Samir Salon's funny in it. Yeah. Hey, what did we do to you today, right? You're wearing shorts. Yeah, but because nobody sees them. You work for UPS?
Starting point is 00:00:53 Why are you dressed like that? Nobody sees them. Don't you wear shorts? Nah, not at work. Nobody sees me under here. I could be wearing nothing. But we do. You're bumming me and Eric out.
Starting point is 00:01:00 So that's for you. You bummed us out. You're welcome. It's cool that you get to see that. I look good, dude. You have flamingo legs, right? Terrible legs. Yeah, I have skinny legs, but I'm working them.
Starting point is 00:01:12 You know what? That's all that counts. And you have knobby knees. Well, come back in two months, we'll see, bro. In six months, we'll see. No, your knees are always going to be knobby. Yeah, but I'll have a lot of muscle. Even if you have muscle around it, your knees are always gonna be knobby. Yeah, but I'll have Muscle around that your knees are but it'll look croche because I'll have knobby knees but also muscular like
Starting point is 00:01:29 Thighs and that will be really cool. You got the short then you got the short butts socks on huh short bus socks No, what's that mean? Retired shots, but no no I know what that means. No. Let me tell you what's really happening What's wrong with the socks and what's happening with you right now is you're looking all of 43. I love it This is the outfit. What's wrong with the socks? No, no. What's happening with you right now is you're looking all of 43. I love it. This is the outfit. That's what's up. I don't give a fuck.
Starting point is 00:01:49 It's a daddy outfit. Yeah. Like, I would rock that and take my kids to the park. Yeah. Yeah. I don't give a fuck. I'm going to the gym after this. You see a slide around here, though, bitch? Then you're there.
Starting point is 00:01:56 I need to see a Captain America shirt on you. Then we're there. No, no, no. Yeah, then me and you are going to take pictures. Oh, my God. I'm going to work out after this, dude. Oh, okay. That works.
Starting point is 00:02:06 Yeah. Oh, I'm going to send you a video of Boston. Go jam on it. He says jam on it because I say it around the house. That's funny. Because my girl, you know. He's going to find out what that really, the origin of it. Well, he knows because my girl, you know, she's not feeling well.
Starting point is 00:02:22 You know, she's pregnant, so she hasn't been feeling well. And someone was like, oh, you should try this natural herb medicine. It helps with nausea. So I get to my girl. I didn't read the label. I'm like, take three of these. She's like, what is it? I'm like, just try it.
Starting point is 00:02:34 You're always like anti-medicine. I'm like, just try it. Takes three of them. I was reading the label. I'm like, that's not good. Causes stomach issues. Oh, no. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:02:41 So she was blowing up the bathroom. Oh, no. And then I kept going, jam on it. And then the other day, she was going to the bathroom. bathroom and then i kept going jam on it and then the other day she was going to the bathroom and i hear boss go jam on it oh wow but women don't take dumps so we need merch for this now jam on it women don't take dumps dude no man oh i caught up on uh because i felt uh left out i caught up on black mirror i'm on episode two still i watch but you gotta catch up right i watched tul King. I just finished it last night. That's been out for a while.
Starting point is 00:03:06 Yeah, that's what I do. I wait. Yeah, I do too. You finished Silo? Are you caught up? Yeah, I'm caught up. I have one more. Hey, I got one more.
Starting point is 00:03:12 I want to watch it. I know. Hey, which episode were you saying was bad? I'm actually reading the book. What episodes were you saying was bad? I thought they were all great. Let me just, if I have to rank. First one was terrible.
Starting point is 00:03:20 If I have to rank the ones I love. The Jonah's Alpha one? Yeah. Yeah, that was terrible. Let me try to rank mine. That one gets boring. Drags on. The best one.
Starting point is 00:03:27 I go worst to best. Worst one was the first one. Yeah. Agreed. It dragged on too long. Yeah. It just dragged. Second worst one was the last one.
Starting point is 00:03:36 The demon one. Oh, I like that one. I know, but that's still, for me, the second worst. Oh, interesting. Okay. Pull them up. The third one was, I thought the third worst was the- No, the one with the Aaron Paul one. Oh, I heard that. Pull them up. The third one was, I thought the third worst was the Aaron Paul one. Oh, I heard that one was the best one.
Starting point is 00:03:49 Oh, that's the best one. No, no. I heard that's the best one. That's the best one. For me, the best one. Oh, he doesn't like his technically. He's going to be like, well, because this wouldn't happen if that happened. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:03:56 That's not what I had to get. Oh, that one was fast. I thought it was just a slow burn that I didn't like. Oh, I loved it. My two favorites were, the second best one was Maisie Day. That one's great. And the first best one for me is Lock Henry. Yes, Lock Henry's so good.
Starting point is 00:04:09 I liked that one a lot. But the Maisie Day and Lock Henry, the reason why I like those two, they got the same sort of theme of like, you go, it's like Korean shit, where you're like, it just goes someplace and you go, what? That Maisie Day one, I was like playing, I was like, this is some shit. Don't spoil it. I did not see this going that way. That's what I'm saying. That one. I was on a plane. I was like, this is some shit. Don't spoil it. I did not see this going that way. That's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:04:27 That's why I like those two the best. The other ones was just kind of like the Demon one was my second least favorite because I was like, all right. It's too predictable. No, it's not just that. It's like a slow story that I was like, I'm not with. And even the Aaron Paul one, listen, I like it. It's the best one. But it just was like, you just go, oh, man, that's messed up. It's heavy. Yeah. It's heavy. I it it's the best one but it just was like you just go oh man that's messed
Starting point is 00:04:45 it's heavy yeah it's heavy i thought it was heavy and but like again i watched all of them the worst is jonah's awful so bad jonah's awful starts off good you're like oh i'm into it and this drags i'm like all right no but stop saying it drags on but the first season is but the first episode to have that as the first episode i was like i'm not gonna watch this i almost didn't watch the rest of them yeah, to have that as the first episode, I was like, I'm not going to watch this. I almost didn't watch the rest of them. Yeah, well, you had that as the first episode because that's probably the most expensive episode. The one you probably paid the most people to be
Starting point is 00:05:14 in. No, see, I think Beyond the Seas is the most expensive, right? With those actors? What? No, but it was like there's four actors in that whole episode. Really, basically. Fire-ass actors, though. I know, but in... You got that time piece? What's his name? Dude, in Jonah's awful, you got the one-
Starting point is 00:05:27 Selma Hayek. Selma Hayek. You got- Gwyneth Paltrow. Oh, no. There's like six major- Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:05:34 Yeah. It was okay. It was bad. That one was like, it's too aware of itself. The one you're boys in is fucking good. I heard that's the best one, but he says it's not. And it's funny at the end, too, when he pushes cheering. All right, whoops. Didn't see it. What do you guess? when he pushes cheering. All right, whoops, didn't see it.
Starting point is 00:05:46 Yeah, because it's really messed up. Whoops, didn't see it. Whoops, didn't see it. It's dark. But that's on you, right? Because we covered this last week, and I've never seen it, and then I watched them all, and you didn't. What are you doing with your life?
Starting point is 00:05:59 I watched Tulsa King. I watched Tulsa King. Yeah, but why would you start a new relationship? You can tell them we're in a bowling league. That's my favorite line of the whole thing. You can tell them we're in a bowling league. Tell them we're in a bowling league together.
Starting point is 00:06:16 I don't know if he sounds like that. He does when he says that. What's the one you like? Kevin Costner one? Oh, Yellowstone. Tulsa King is in the Yellowstone thing, right? What do you mean? It's the same writer. Sheridan.
Starting point is 00:06:28 Taylor Sheridan. No, one's current time. Cowboy shit? I mean, no. No, he's a gangster from New York that they send him to Oklahoma. No, Tulsa King is not that. Yeah, it is. He's a gangster from New York and comes to Oklahoma to run business.
Starting point is 00:06:43 And he gets out of prison. Yellowstone is that same 1895 and 1923 shit. 1983 and 1923, you fucking idiot. So stupid, dude. Oh, you're going to name them years? I don't know what they are. Make titles. You don't know history, right?
Starting point is 00:06:58 Bro, that is not history. That's a bullshit TV show. You're allergic to books, right? Achoo. Will you stop at Goosebumps? Achoo. Oh, I can't keep up with 1883. Tulsa King does it for you, though?
Starting point is 00:07:10 He's on you today. This guy read fucking Witches by Roald Dahl, and he thinks he's a fucking scholar. Name another book. Name 10 books. I did. I did Witches, and I did the fucking other one I was just saying. You did R.L. Stine's and that other bullshit. You got Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
Starting point is 00:07:22 Something Wicked This Way Comes. I read all the Harry Potters. I read a lot of books, though. Yeah. What, you read Silo? You look like you do. Yeah, I am. Did you start because you watch this TV show?
Starting point is 00:07:31 Yes. And I'm kind of mad that I... Oh, why? Because I know what's happening. Oh, so you're getting through it. Yeah, yeah. I already finished the book. I'm already in the second book.
Starting point is 00:07:39 Oh, did you see... I saw you were doing it on Riffin' with Griffin. Did you break down Flash? I'm doing it tomorrow. Because it's eating dick at the box office. You know why? It is? Oh, you you see? I saw you were doing it on Riffin with Griffin. Did you break down Flash? I'm doing it tomorrow. Because it's eating dick at the box office. You know why? It is? Oh, you know why?
Starting point is 00:07:49 Because it's Flash. And only gay kids were into Flash as a kid. Hold on. Flash is bombing? Really? Let's see. Really? Well, because it's Flash, right?
Starting point is 00:07:59 That's not the reason. No, it is though. No, that's not the reason. Who was into Flash? Nobody knew about Guardians of the Galaxy until it came out. Yeah. Yes, we did. Am I right, Eric?
Starting point is 00:08:07 Hold on. Hold on. Oh, wow. I didn't think it was going to. Let me tell you. Wow. You know what's very fascinating? Okay.
Starting point is 00:08:15 I don't know how much money they spent on that Jennifer Lawrence movie. Which one? The one. It's kicking ass. She's naked in it though. She's naked in it. But what I'm saying is it's a raunchy rated R movie. I don't know how much they spent on it.
Starting point is 00:08:29 $7. But look what it did in the box office opening weekend, like $15 million. It's a comedy. Me too. So that's doing well? It's doing well. And Flash is eating dick. Now they're going to fire that.
Starting point is 00:08:40 What's his name? Israel. What's his name? Oh, yeah. Now he gets canceled. Before, they're like, if this is a hit, you'll be okay. No, but what I don't appreciate, and I'm going to talk about this further on Riffin with Griffin. Yeah, but more people listen here, though, right?
Starting point is 00:08:50 Yeah. So break it down here, though. No, but the thing- For the seven of you that are going to listen- No, I'm just kidding. For my family and Chris's wife. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She loves Riffin.
Starting point is 00:09:03 She's very supportive. She loves Riffin with Griffin. She's very supportive. She loves Griffin with Griffin. She gives you super thanks on YouTube. This is the thing that I don't like about The Flash. We got duped, and I'll tell you why. This movie was supposed to come out, and then this guy had his issues. But there's an amount of money you spend where you go, well, fuck off these issues. We got to put this movie out.
Starting point is 00:09:26 Okay? You know what I mean? Right, right. It's the way the NFL does with a star quarterback. Exactly. We got to do it. So there was no press that he was in. He didn't do any press.
Starting point is 00:09:33 Right. And then they put out this kind of thing where like, greatest superhero movie ever. And people were saying this stuff, and you kind of believed the hype. Yeah. You're like, all right, this might be the best superhero movie ever. Michael Keaton, Batman. Right, right. And then I saw it, and I was like, oh. Oh, it's not that good? It's not that good. Oh, I did. You're like, all right, this might be the best movie ever. Michael Keaton, Batman. Right, right. And then I saw it and I was like, oh.
Starting point is 00:09:47 Oh, it's not that good? It's not that good. Oh, I heard everyone saying it was great. It's not. I heard it's bad. And then when I saw it, I think you kind of gave it away because you tweet out, you're like, I saw the flash. It was, I was like, it's bad.
Starting point is 00:09:59 Here's the thing. When I go see a movie, all right, I want to walk out of that movie. This is the schools of thought. You want to walk out of that movie. This is the schools of thought. You either walk out of a movie going, wow, that was amazing. I want to see that again. Okay? Lately, in the last 10 years, you walk out of a movie like this now.
Starting point is 00:10:17 You go, that was all right. Well, yeah. That was all right. And then you just kind of go, eh. What was the last movie you walked out and you were like, God damn, I need to see that again? Oh, I don't watch movies twice. Oh, I watched so many movies twice. Once upon a time in Hollywood, it was one where I was like,
Starting point is 00:10:32 I need to run that back. I stopped that in the middle. You would, yeah. That makes sense. There's no magic in the movie. Hold on a second here. Why is that? I was on the plane.
Starting point is 00:10:42 Oh. Oh, you had to. I landed. Thank you. You know what's hot? I was on the plane. Oh. Oh, you had to. I landed. Thank you. You see how I didn't get angry. I said, let me find out what's going on with his thing. Didn't belittle him. You know?
Starting point is 00:10:52 But it's like, there's just so many. I mean, I watch movies on planes all the time, too. I love that. Yeah. Because I watch a bad movie on a plane, and I'll just be sitting there like, nobody's watching this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is terrible.
Starting point is 00:11:03 I saw 65. Remember that one? Oh, my God. So bad. Is that the Jackie Robinson one? Nope. I got one worse than that. Oh, now who doesn't know history?
Starting point is 00:11:11 Go ahead. What? I don't know if it's called Moonstruck or Moonstrike or Moonwreck. Oh, with Halle Berry? Yes. Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I heard that was horrible.
Starting point is 00:11:22 Oh, man. Now, the thing about The Flash that made it bad for me is that it's like the story is super boring. It's metaverse again, right? They're jumping all around. Metaverse is so dumb, dude. But wait, hold on a second. Hold on a second. Rick and Morty have been doing it for six years.
Starting point is 00:11:34 Hold on a second. This is a DC thing. They should do that with Schindler's List. This is a DC thing from a long... Metaverse with Schindler's List. The way they can jump out of the concentration camps. Hitler's good in our world. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:44 Hitler saves. This is what... There's good in our world. Yeah. Hitler saves. This is what, there's two things that can help any movie be better. What? Kung fu and zombies. And rap. Kung fu zombies. We got to make that. I mean, kung fu and zombies, I'm in.
Starting point is 00:11:57 Take the notebook. You know what I mean? Take the notebook. He's talking to her. And like outside of that. You know what I mean? You're like, this changes the whole thing. You're been so into a movie or a show you're like damn there's only an hour left on this flight you want it to go longer no that's how i was that's
Starting point is 00:12:12 how i was with season six i was like damn there's 40 minutes of what of uh fucking uh black mare oh you said you watched it on your ipad or something he said he watched it on the flight you said you watched it in texas you're a On the flight. You said you watched it in Texas. You're a liar. I did. On the way to Texas? On the way. On the way back.
Starting point is 00:12:29 Finished all six episodes. One of those episodes is two hours long. Where were you in Texas? You can't be trusted. Where were you in Texas? I was in Fort Worth. Bowling League. Fort Worth?
Starting point is 00:12:42 Yeah. I love it out there. How was it? Was it good? Yeah, I could move out there. You did shows? Really? Yeah. Let's move. Let's all move to Fort Worth and join love it out there How was it? Was it good? Yeah I could move out there You did shows? Really? Yeah
Starting point is 00:12:45 Let's move Let's all move to Fort Worth And join a bowling league We can say we're in the same bowling league Oh Sylvester Stallone's in this Yes Tulsa Sing Tulsa Sing is the musical
Starting point is 00:12:57 Is he good in this? He's great And he's He doesn't mean to be funny He's been in a long time No he means to be funny He knows what he's doing It's so funny
Starting point is 00:13:03 I've been to his house We're friends Well kind of right? Remember when he posted that he's doing it's so funny i've been to his house with friends well kind of right remember when you post that picture and spell brian's name wrong he did yeah he wrote he said brian callahan so that's just a lot brian b-r-i-a-n callahan yeah but and with brian callahan but anybody named brian like go fuck yourself right i well with the y unless well it should never be with the y honestly the y is like yeah it's very strange when you grow up then you put the I in there. That would be like, I'm just going to spell my name A-I-R-I-Q with a little hyphen.
Starting point is 00:13:31 If you're an R&B singer, dude. Yeah, Eric. You know what I mean? Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, no. Me and Chin are going to start a band. No, I was at The Blaze. Glenn Beck owns those studios.
Starting point is 00:13:42 What are all those words? Glenn Beck. He was on Fox. Oh, Glenn Beck. Glenn Beck. Oh, oh. He was at Fox. I hope Beck owns those studios. What are all those words? Glenn Beck. He was on Fox. Oh, Glenn Beck. Glenn Beck. He was at Fox. I hope we come back here. Bro.
Starting point is 00:13:49 He owns the Paramount lot, but he turned it into his podcast studios. It was nuts. Who did? The shit he had there. Glenn Beck. You don't realize the amount of money that he makes. No, I guess I didn't know. I didn't either.
Starting point is 00:13:59 He's conservative? Oh, I knew. Yeah, right? Glenn Beck is the reason why I changed my whole feeling about Fox News and all these people Because I was looking on Best studios I've ever seen I was looking on Forbes There was a year that he made $80 million
Starting point is 00:14:13 And then once I saw that I was like Oh This is all a show Yeah And then he left It's just what Tucker Carlson is going to do Tucker can go off and build his own Glenn Beck show. As he should.
Starting point is 00:14:27 Yeah, because he owns The Blaze. It's probably more entertaining. So what did Glenn Beck start as? A conservative like pundit kind of thing? Oh, okay. Conservative radio. The studio's word. Right, right.
Starting point is 00:14:37 Conservative radio is always more entertaining than the other side. It's just more entertaining. Yeah, because they're right. Yeah, right. Oh, wow. It's just – I used to listen to conservative radio all the time just because you want to hear a different perspective. My man.
Starting point is 00:14:50 You know what I mean? I'm not. Come on. Jump on over. I'm more like- Come on. We're storming February 2nd. February 2nd.
Starting point is 00:14:57 What's happening? Why February 2nd? I don't know. That's also a whole year away. It's just him out there. What are we doing? Where is everybody? People just walking by. I get a whole year away. It's just him out there. What are we doing? Where is everybody? People just walking by.
Starting point is 00:15:06 I get apprehended like right away. So I just think that anytime you're the challenger, it's more entertaining. Anytime you're the one that's being like questioning if you're like, why are we doing this or whatever is that? But then when it starts to delve into like conspiracy, and that's what I don't like about it. It's interesting. It's fun. I think that's it. Because conspiracy is better than the truth.
Starting point is 00:15:30 That's why they're so into it. It gets more interesting. Yeah, the left doesn't really have conspiracies. It's more the right. A little bit. I know, I know. Because they don't believe in men and women, right? But that's not a conspiracy, though.
Starting point is 00:15:40 It is, though. It's a complete crock of shit. You know what I mean, though. Like, conspiracies are pretty right i mean they are yeah they think like like when you go really really far right if you go really really far left your feelings are just hurt all the time and you don't know if you're a guy or girl if you go really really far right you think joe biden's a lizard right you think you know what i mean like liberals eat liberals eat babies yeah exactly i mean that one's true but
Starting point is 00:16:03 no but if you go far left or right you're batshit crazy yeah yeah exactly you know i mean that one's true but no but if you go far left or right you're batshit crazy yeah yeah batshit crazy i always say that you never go too far i don't like about the liberals eat babies thing because it's the same thing with the election fraud of course there's election fraud on both sides there's always election fraud yes a liberal has eaten a baby at some point do Do you know what I mean? It's just happened. There's too many people in this world. Yeah, sure. But to be like there's an underground ring of baby eaters is just too much.
Starting point is 00:16:33 You talking about Pizzagate? Yeah. Well, no, I mean, whatever it is. I don't know. That was one of the things. Yeah, but they also, outside of Pizzagate, they also think that liberals eat babies. They think that there are liberals that are like, I'm not with that Pizzagate shit, but let's have some babies tonight you know there's but and it's just like it's happened before once or twice well that's the problem like there's like if you read what they've predicted
Starting point is 00:16:53 like they've got a ton of shit wrong but the stuff they get right like yeah but look at this like if you hit on 20 you'll get an n sometimes you're one for 10 it's like your ufc predictions that's impossible good luck predicting that impossible but if you It's like your UFC predictions. That's impossible. Good luck predicting that. Impossible. But it's like if you have 20 and you hit on it, you shouldn't. But every now and then you'll get an ace. You'll get that shit. And there'll be 21 and you'll win.
Starting point is 00:17:13 Yep. Every now and then you're going to be right. They really lean into that one that they hit. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, of course. Just take a thing like JFK. Okay? You take JFK and you go, just in a time where there was no cell phones, a dude with one
Starting point is 00:17:27 of these just happened to be. Right, right, right. You know what I'm saying? And we got this footage. And you just go. So we'll never know the truth. No. We'll never know the truth.
Starting point is 00:17:36 Right. But there's no one that believes it was just this one guy. No one. You got to be a real dumbass. Think Harvey Oswald. Obviously, there's something more at play here. Yeah. So you go, well, there's other things like that.
Starting point is 00:17:49 Correct. If that's fake, then what else? Or even when you go, you say, we lived through Clinton and Monica Lewinsky. So lit. To me, it just boils down to, oh, so the super busy, powerful dude married to a woman who's probably just as go get him as anyone else. Both evil. They don't have time for
Starting point is 00:18:10 you know and Bro think of the ego. He gets sucked off by Bill Clinton got his dick Bill Clinton got his dick sucked in the Oval Office. You know how gangster that is? That's the definition of gangster. Insane. And then played the saxophone on City Hall with a pinky ring. But he's got his hand like on That's the definition of gangster. Insane. And then played the saxophone on Insidio Hall?
Starting point is 00:18:25 With a pinky ring. But he's got his hand on the nuclear button just in case. You have to finish me off or I'm going to end the world. Oh, my God. The world's in your mouth. It's this one, though. Chrisley.com. I was about to say Chrisley.com.
Starting point is 00:18:40 Yeah, but I mean, I just remember even as a young teenager when that was going on, just thinking like, I was like, oh, so the powerful guy gets side pieces. I'm like, oh, what else you got? Well, that's a lot of reason why people are the powerful guy. They want to get side pieces. Not him, maybe. He won't be president. But the thing is, you think... But he was already... He's very similar to Trump in terms of like... When he was the governor of Arkansas, he was having issues. There's rape charges all day. Infidelity and like...
Starting point is 00:19:14 You ever see how many people... I ain't talking about that. I ain't talking about that. I don't want to get into that. I'm just saying, I think that he was cheating on Hillary for a long time. Oh, 100%. But she also looks like shit, right? So I think she knows what she signed up for.
Starting point is 00:19:28 She's more handsome than he is, right? They both got mustaches, right? When she was young? When she was hot? The views of Brendan Schaub are not the views of... They're the views of everyone. Look at her. Damn, Nick.
Starting point is 00:19:43 Yeah, Nick. Look at Clare Young. See her young. See her like at 30. She was a cougar Nick. You're going to fucking clown poor Hillary. See her young. See her like at 30. She was a cougar when she was like 20. She was a real tomcat. Let me see. She had her glasses on.
Starting point is 00:19:51 I mean, she's okay. Just opinionated as shit, though. Yeah, but she's cute. And then just hiding bodies. It starts to go wrong. And then just hiding bodies, son. Yeah. Look up their track record.
Starting point is 00:20:02 Yeah, but every politician. They had that whistleblower. Yeah, he hung himself on a tree. Like, oh, interesting. Every politician does that shit. You see these black and white pictures and you're like you realize how old they are but oh she's all this dirt yeah yeah but you maybe their relationship wasn't about no it was about getting to the white house then she thought she was gonna win like you know that's the thing though like like you you have to know at a very young age back then you had to be like i want to be the president so then you had to know at a very young age, back then you had to be like, I want to be the president.
Starting point is 00:20:28 So then you had to live your life a certain way. Can't wear shorts and fart, dude. I did. I do it. Did you fart? You can't do it on short shorts, bro. I wonder why the shorts were like this. I don't care. His knees buckled.
Starting point is 00:20:43 I saw the shorts go. He came out with the right shirt. Like when you I saw the shirt. His knees buckled. I saw the shirt go. He was all, oh. Came out from my shirt, yeah. Oh, man. Like when you're in the pool, and it's like. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I knew it wasn't going to smell, though.
Starting point is 00:20:55 How do you know? I have radar in my body about it. Jam on it. Let's keep that one in. Jam on it. I can let this one out. I hate when I think it's not going to smell. Well, obviously, there's a mistake every now and then.
Starting point is 00:21:07 The radar's wrong, right? Every now and then you think it's a rock in the ocean. It's really the enemy ship. Well, for me, it's like the third one. Especially when I'll be on a plane. I'll be like, I got to let this out. You know, so it's like. Hey, real, real. And then that third one is the one where you have to turn on a plane, I'll be like, I got to let this out. You know, so it's like. Hey, real, real.
Starting point is 00:21:25 And then. Hey, if so. The third one is the one where you have to turn around and go, I'm so sorry. Yeah, my bad. No, no, no, no, no. You don't. You go like this. Yeah, but.
Starting point is 00:21:35 That's what I do. In here, really? But that's like a dead giveaway. Hey, if someone offered you $250,000 to go on that submarine. I'll take it. I don't care what it is. You would do it? On the submarine?
Starting point is 00:21:48 You go on that bootleg submarine all those people died on? No, you'd die. But the farts would be lit there to take it out. What do you mean? You'd die. I don't understand what you're asking. There's been a bunch of missions where it was successful. But think of the danger of doing that.
Starting point is 00:22:02 No, I wouldn't do that. Take away being a billionaire. I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't go down to see the Titanic. i'm not that way the problem here is that's some white shit the problem here is it's it's like so the negligence though yeah like if you're a billionaire and you're walking in you're thinking well they're going to be safe they're not going to risk my life yeah but apparently this company just wanted to was like willy-nilly like ah it's going to be good. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:26 And then this happened. But also if you're a billionaire, do your due diligence. Go, maybe I'll throw $100,000 and just give it a once over. Yeah, but for $250,000 you're paying, you're thinking this is going to work. Even when I pay $700 to fly on United, I would like to think that the plane is like they got, you know what I mean? I don't want to like, you get on the plane and you hear the captain's like, just a second, y'all.
Starting point is 00:22:49 I got to hit the clutch. You'd be like, what? Get me off of this. And then to drag your 19-year-old son down there with you? We didn't drag him. You think he dragged him? He didn't want to go. That's what the mom said. That's the word. He didn't want to go anywhere for Father's Day. And he wanted his Rubik's Cube
Starting point is 00:23:05 down there. Oh, he brought it down? Yeah. Well, he wanted to break a record. Yeah. He did? Yeah. 12,000 feet under the sea. Yeah, but I saw a thing of like... That's a stupid record. I saw this video of like... I put it on my Instagram story, but anyway, there's like a... No, I saw it on
Starting point is 00:23:21 Ryan Holland's thing. It's like a shark cage. It's like a shark cage. It's in the water. And a great white shark is just tearing it to pieces. The great white shark is inside the cage. You got caught in it. And I go, this is going to be the advertisement for adventurous rich people shit now. Because they're going to be like, hey, this could happen.
Starting point is 00:23:42 So it killed the guy? No, I don't know. It was just in there. It was just in there. And I'm thinking to hey, this could happen. Oh. Because, you know. So it killed the guy? No, I don't know. It was just in there. It was just in there. And I'm thinking to myself, this is what you think. This is what you think of when you think of these things. That's the kind of stuff people want to do. Fuck all that shit.
Starting point is 00:23:52 Like going to the moon and flying around. I know. It's like half a million dollars right now to go to space. That's how bored they are, though. That's how fucking these billionaires are like, I'm so fucking bored. You want to go see Titanic? I don't know. Oh, the movie?
Starting point is 00:24:04 Nah, bitch. The real thing. It's all weird. We're going to jump in this makeshift sub. I just feel bad they got all the way down there. They didn't even get to see Leonardo DiCaprio's body. It's a fair point. It's weird that there's no bodies.
Starting point is 00:24:17 Hey, everybody. Patreon. Patreons.com. Patreons.com. This is Texas. Hey. I was checking emails. Woo-hoo.
Starting point is 00:24:24 Patreon.com slash the golden hour podcast. What do they get, though? Do they get two extra episodes per month? Ad-free episodes? All the free ones? You get them ad-free? A chance to Zoom in and talk with the boys here? Even Nick and Chin?
Starting point is 00:24:37 There's already a bunch of episodes available right now. So if they sign up now, you get those. Binge watch them. How many are there? There's at least 15, if not more, by the time you listen to this. Oh, that'll keep you busy. Patreon.com slash the golden hour podcast. Please subscribe.
Starting point is 00:24:50 It's a thick boy summer. It's a golden hour summer. Don't say please. They're lucky to subscribe, dude. Yeah. Did you see the son of one of the guys? So unreal. Well, his family's missing.
Starting point is 00:25:02 He's just hitting up OnlyFan models because he just realized he's a billionaire now. Is he, though? Yeah, he inherits the money. Because it is his stepdad. All right, cool. That's why I feel like conspiracy. No, here you go. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:13 What? When you have that kind of rich people in a thing like that, two of them were billionaires. Something's up. Why do you say that? It's a movie plot, man. They go down. The sub implodes right away. So what's the conspiracy? There's a movie plot, man. They go down. The sub implodes right away. So what's the conspiracy?
Starting point is 00:25:27 There's a cover-up. They killed the billionaires. They killed them. But that same conspiracy goes to original Titanic. They killed them. They think JP Morgan sank the ship because of money, whatever. But this is where, to add to your conspiracy, the wife of the billionaire, her great-grandpa and grandma
Starting point is 00:25:44 were actually killed on the Titanic. There you go. Weird. Full circle. Also, avoid the Titanic, huh? Yeah. Because you can also just go to – you know, if you go to the – Google Images.
Starting point is 00:25:53 Google Images. Yeah, there's that. And then also in Vegas at the Luxor. They have like – you could get a fucking buffet, hire a professional for $1,000, get your wiener sucked, and then also see parts of the Titanic. It's a good time. You get your wiener sucked, and then also see parts of the Titanic. It's a good time. You get your wiener sucked on the tour? That seems like... Yeah, dude. How much is that? Oh, they died there, huh?
Starting point is 00:26:14 In the sub? Well, for $250,000. What's going on in the sub? You got to come somehow. What do you got, Nick? We have a submission from a young lady is that dead girl that hooked up with a billionaire i wish the only fans girl how about he was like i'm gonna blink 182 concert my dad would want this i'm like i don't think so he obviously he didn't give a fuck also dad probably wasn't around right That's what I'm saying
Starting point is 00:26:45 Dad was like I'm just gonna buy you a robot Hug that thing Yeah I'm busy making billions He wasn't He probably Who knows if he was a great father or not But he obviously had like a
Starting point is 00:26:53 This kid is coming across This kid sucks He's coming across very You ever met a billionaire son That's cool Yeah Or a rich dad whose son's cool Never
Starting point is 00:27:03 They all suck I don't know. They all suck. I don't know if they all suck. Name a cool one. I hope that, you know. Oh, Calvin? Calvin and your kids. I wouldn't consider myself rich.
Starting point is 00:27:16 Yeah, rich, rich, you're talking about. Like rich, rich, rich. Like fuck you money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where the kid never has to work. Right, right, right. My kid's going to have to work. He's Mexican. It's like Warren Buffett and these kind of guys. Right, right, right. A Mexican's gonna have to work. Right. He's Mexican. It's like Warren Buffett
Starting point is 00:27:25 and these kind of guys. Right, right, right. Imagine your dad is Warren Buffett. I don't know, man. I mean, like, I go back and forth because it's like,
Starting point is 00:27:32 you want your kids to live a fucking stress-free great life, but you also want them to learn responsibility. There's only one way to do that. Right, get a fucking job.
Starting point is 00:27:41 What are you talking about? They're sending them to, like, boarding schools and they're learning fencing. But they don't have good parents. But then they have no love at home because their parents are never around. Yeah, but then kids getting drugged.
Starting point is 00:27:52 Yeah, but then the ones that have love at home, maybe they're turning into little bitches. Yeah, I understand. That's what I'm saying. Their parents are always coddling them. They're worse in both worlds. Yeah, I know. I understand.
Starting point is 00:28:01 So what happens? Calvin falls down and he starts to cry. Are you running over there like, oh yeah. That's what I'm saying. I run right over. I walk over and I say, what's going on? Tell me. Yeah, but know. I understand. So what happens? Calvin falls down and he starts to cry. Are you running over there like? Oh, yeah. That's what I'm saying. I run right over. I walk over and I say, what's going on? Tell me.
Starting point is 00:28:08 Yeah, but is Kristen like, I'm not dating. She's pretty good. She's good. Oh, I sprint like there's a fire. Yeah. Yeah. It's so weird. You're such a softie and people don't even know.
Starting point is 00:28:21 So soft. You know what I mean? I fight that. That's what they need to make a Reddit about. Brendan is soft. Brendan's so soft. He's calling us soy boys. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:30 Yeah, yeah, yeah. He cried during episode five of Black Mirror. Yeah. All right. Boy, those heavy hitters would get to the Titanic. What do you got? She wouldn't even get down there. Yeah, she would.
Starting point is 00:28:40 Float them. These floaties. Hi, guys. Amber here with the debate club for you. The fight. Elon Musk versus Mark Zuckerberg. Who do you have? I'm personally going off of looks and how I feel about them.
Starting point is 00:28:55 Not their skill set. That's what everyone's doing. So Elon for me all day. But curious as to your thoughts. And just wanted to give a huge shout out to Nick Chin, Black Eye in the Back. I've been watching you guys forever. I've seen every King of the Sting and every Golden Hour. I love you guys.
Starting point is 00:29:11 Love her. Sting gang, buzz buzz. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. They're never going to fight you. Love you. It's never going to happen. They're never going to fight. Well, you said billionaires are bored.
Starting point is 00:29:20 Why not? They're bored. It's not going to happen. Elon's, I think, mom was like, you ain't fighting. But let's say it did happen. Who do you guys have? I think Zuckerberg would win just because he's got – Now, remember, Zuckerberg's 155 pounds.
Starting point is 00:29:31 Elon's about 190. Oh, never mind then. Remember, she meant looks. Did she mean looks like – I think like physical looks. The stature? So Elon's bigger, but Zuckerberg has been training in jiu-jitsu. Right.
Starting point is 00:29:43 For how long? He's probably a blue belt yeah he is and Elon has trained before though not like Mark like Mark works with this Mikey
Starting point is 00:29:52 Mushashemi oh yeah who's a world class Jiu Jitsu guy I don't know I don't know but also isn't
Starting point is 00:29:59 Mark Zuckerberg way younger he's younger Elon must have 50 yeah yeah I don't know but then remember it honestly depends on how Elon's also an immigrant from South Africa Way younger? He's younger, yeah. Elon Musk at 50? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:30:09 But then remember, Elon's also an immigrant from South Africa. That matters, yeah. Yeah, that matters. For sure. I think that it all depends on how in shape they are in the moment, really, honestly. There you go. I think it's going to be the worst product you've ever seen from the UFC. They're going to be gassed. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:23 You know how soft Mark Zuckerberg is? He's in shape right now. I mean, I guess. He's built like Gumby. They got that kind of money. They got money. They're keeping themselves together. Does Elon Musk work out?
Starting point is 00:30:35 I don't know. And also, working out is way different than training. Way different. Right, right, right. You know? I don't think the fight's ever going to happen. No, it won't. No.
Starting point is 00:30:43 Maybe they should arm wrestle. That'd be kind of cool. Like, this is like, if you're doing this. Lex Friedman's a black belt. And if you're doing this, like, a few days a week, you're in great shape, dude. You know? He's younger. Does jiu-jitsu?
Starting point is 00:30:59 He's a black belt. Wow. What, who? Lex Friedman. Wow. He's training this guy? He's training. That's Zuckerberg right there. Oh, Zuckerberg Lex Friedman. Wow. He's training this guy? He's training. That's Zuckerberg right there.
Starting point is 00:31:07 Zuckerberg. I think Zuckerberg. I'm taking Zuckerberg. It all depends, though. I mean, they're only training jiu-jitsu. They're not training, like, striking. Zuckerberg might not know. Yeah, it starts on the feet.
Starting point is 00:31:17 I don't think Zuckerberg knows wrestling. Listen, neither one of them know how to fucking fight. Right, right, right, right. This is going to be an awful product. Right. Can you beat them both up at the same time? Oh, with one hand. They're in the ring with you.
Starting point is 00:31:27 It's so easy. They couldn't get you? Under a minute. How about me and Chris? Me and Chris. I'll give you guys two minutes. How could we get two minutes off? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:36 I'd be fucking. I mean, how would we do it? When I was in the UFC. I'd pull up into a ball and be like, I bet I could last a few. You didn't give up your ass? No into a ball and be like, I bet I could last a few. You didn't give up your ass? No, but I could be like. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:48 When I was in the UFC. At least I know how to not. We could just rush him? No. Well, I had seven lower level fighters when I was fighting the UFC. I was like top 10 in the world. I had seven of them to see how fast I could beat the seven fighters. I beat him in under like two minutes.
Starting point is 00:32:04 Wow. Seven of them. Yeah, yeah, we could do it. Yeah, you guys can do it. Can we throw in Nick? If we throw in Chin, it's a wrap. Chin's a problem. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:14 Me, Chris, and Chin, we got you. Although we've been over this. Chin thought I couldn't get him out of the studio. Yeah, I realized how strong Brendan was. I knew he was strong, but I didn't realize how strong he was. I fucked up Chin's neck On accident Maybe
Starting point is 00:32:26 We don't know for sure But Chin has a neck condition Because of that? I think so It could be his big head It could be He's just wobbly What happened?
Starting point is 00:32:34 You tried to get him Out of the studio? Yeah he was like Brendan can't get me Out of the studio I'm like you're out of your mind He looks like a tootsie roll No we tried to get you
Starting point is 00:32:39 Out of the studio Oh that's right We did not do it What four people? Me and Brian You, Brian Yeah that's right Yeah we tried What do you mean? They were Brian. You, Brian. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, we tried.
Starting point is 00:32:46 What do you mean? Brian was like, I bet me and Trin could get you out of the studio. I'm like, not a fucking chance. Because the Short Kings. Remember the Short Kings? The two small dudes? Yeah. Christian and Kyle.
Starting point is 00:32:54 Christian and Kyle. They tried to get Chappelle out. They got him out instantly. What? They tried to get me out. They couldn't get me out. So then we tried to do that same thing with Brendan. Yeah, I got you.
Starting point is 00:33:03 Me and Brian tried to get him out. How'd they get Chappelle out? They went really low and each grabbed a leg and just carried him out. Dude, it was funny. Instantly. Yeah, they really. Because Chappelle's not small. No, Chappelle's powerful.
Starting point is 00:33:12 Strong. That's funny. But they did get me out. Fast. Nice. Blow your hamstring, bro. It's a disaster. What's this handsome bastard want?
Starting point is 00:33:22 What's up, man? My name's Judah. I'm out of Jacksonville, Florida. Oh, thanks for popping out on us, Chris. You were fucking hilarious. ChrisDalee.com for tickets, purchasing and more. Basically, to make a long story short, I just got out of this crazy long relationship, and now I'm finally in a place where I want to start dating again,
Starting point is 00:33:41 but the landscape is different, my guy. We started dating pre-online dating so like before i bring a girl over and i want to seem like i get it because i'm a guy right and i got to seem like i get it so like do i buy feminine products before i bring a girl over so like she feels more comfortable or do i not do that so i don't seem like a man hoe what did y'all do back in your heyday because you're old back in your heyday you know what i mean like you can help me out i appreciate it. Much love, guys.
Starting point is 00:34:06 Y'all are fucking amazing. Buy feminine products. Like tampons and shit? Yeah. You'd be like, what the fuck? I mean, I have a Plan B dispenser, but I'm just saying. What are you supposed to? Or as I like to call it, breakfast in bed.
Starting point is 00:34:19 That's a Daniel Tash joke. Yeah, you just like, you open it up, and it's just like, whatever you need in there. You don't want to buy products. It's like lights on the plan B. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's on a lazy Susan. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:34:31 Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you want to have a caveman set up so like, oh, he needs help. He really needs my help. Well, how long is that guy talking about? He's been with that girl a really long time if it was before. How long has online dating been going on? He's a dime piece. I'm sure he doesn't have
Starting point is 00:34:49 a problem getting a chick. I mean, he's in Jacksonville where the Warlocks are at, but outside that I'm sure. Yeah, true, but it's still Florida. They got some baddies there. Yo, big time. Go south. I mean, the problem with, I mean, it's like when you, the real issue is the fact that he's been in a long relationship for a long time and then you get out of your you're still – you think every woman's that woman.
Starting point is 00:35:08 You know what I mean? Maybe she doesn't like hugging in the morning or whatever. So you think – once you've been with somebody for a long time, you think every woman does the same thing. Traumatized. Yeah. And you're going to be like, oh, no. So I say date around until you –
Starting point is 00:35:23 Yeah, there you go. That was me when I was a kid. Wow. I had an apartment in Marina Del Rey. My mattress was on the floor. Didn't even have a TV. That's Brendan's plan to rope him in. Yeah, that's it, dude.
Starting point is 00:35:34 They're like, wow, this guy needs help. He was right, though. You can get tickets to my shows at chrisley.com. I'll be in Cleveland. I'll be in a bunch of different cities. Nashville. Arlington Improv. Tomorrow, guys. Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Arlington Improv. Tomorrow, guys.
Starting point is 00:35:45 Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Arlington Improv. I'm in Covina this Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Covina. I'm in Covina. Covina. It's Covina. No, I put a Latin spin on it, dude.
Starting point is 00:35:55 Covina. Like Czechoslovakia or something like that? What are you talking about? Yeah, I'm there this Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Czechoslovakia? Yeah, you just got to keep it dirty so they think you need help. But also the dating Atmosphere now it's all like
Starting point is 00:36:07 They meet on Instagram and shit Who's single in here Oh everyone back then Except for Case Case has a girl But for those of you dating Chin's single as shit What happened
Starting point is 00:36:20 I mean things happen dude Damn Eric he's been singing for a hot second. Really? I didn't know that. Jim's all tatted up. I've never known anything about Jim. But for those of you dating, on the dating field, you're just being chicks through DMs or using dating apps?
Starting point is 00:36:39 Yeah, on Instagram. If you meet someone in person, you usually start following each other. You follow them in the grocery store, you mean? Yeah. Flirtation continues. Flirtation. Yeah, a lot of online dating. Drone.
Starting point is 00:36:55 What did you say, Nick? You've got beautiful eyes from Nick Davis. My steady. Yeah. At my steady. I don't know. It has to be tough with all the dating apps and shit because you sit down. That chick who said she had a deadbeat husband, so she was going to go on OnlyFans in Dubai, she's got that hot sister.
Starting point is 00:37:22 Oh, yeah. I was like, hook me up with your sister. And her sister is DMing me. We're talking. She lives in England, though. Well, I don't. Good day, man. Fly her out. Expense it. It'll be for the show. We can make a whole segment out of it. There we go, dude. Married. Then she leaves him and fucking...
Starting point is 00:37:39 This guy. So he's like, I got a great segment idea, guys. We're gonna fly her out Put her up at the four season And then I'll vlog everything Yeah, yeah, yeah I'm like, hold on a second We should do Chinder again
Starting point is 00:37:53 We sent Chin on a date one time I mean, Chinder just as a segment for We sent Chin on a date with this girl with some big ass tits And then Chin gets hammered off sake They eat cream barbecue Soju. So you went on a date from the show? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:09 We hooked them up. And then she got engaged shortly after. They broke it off. She moved to Austin. Yeah, she went on one date with Chin. She was like, I think I found the one. I found another guy. But at that time, I didn't tell the guys. But I literally just started dating my best friend.
Starting point is 00:38:23 At that time, I didn't want to ruin the show. I didn't want to segment. He felt pressure to do it, and he still carried through with it. Yeah, I didn't want to ruin the show. I didn't want to upset him. He felt pressure to do it and he still carried through with it. Yeah. That's what I do for the show, man. Wow. Cool.
Starting point is 00:38:30 She had some heavies though. And what was your, what was that dude's name? I even joked to him that it was a power list. That's what you said. He was like, I started dating my best friend.
Starting point is 00:38:40 Yeah. You know. I started dating my partner. Yeah. Jimbo. Oh, he's gay Well I didn't know you Started with a J
Starting point is 00:38:46 I didn't know you were single Because you were Last time talking about Your relationship You were like I dated afterwards For a few months And I think you guys met
Starting point is 00:38:53 I don't know Chin had his Chin had his whore phase I did And now he has Now he has tattoos On his arm His leg
Starting point is 00:39:00 He's looking Hell yeah dude Just got back from Korea Oh yeah Oh he got a good tattoo In Korea From Angie From Outcast Studios Yeah Or Outcast Tattoo Hell yeah, dude. Just got back from Korea. Oh, yeah. He got a good tattoo in Korea. From Angie from OutKast Studios. Or OutKast Tattoo.
Starting point is 00:39:09 I got presents for you guys. As a single man, you didn't visit no spas in Korea, Jim? I was with my parents, dude. Bring them! Your dad doesn't like your little rubdown? Nick, that's for you. Oh, wow. These are all the rage in Korea.
Starting point is 00:39:23 I love hats. Hey, Gilligan. These are all the rage in Korea, really? These are all the rage in Korea. I love hats. Hey, Gilligan. These are all the rage in Korea, really? These are all the rage in Korea. Oh, is that for... Bucket hat. Oh, that looks good on you. I like bucket hats.
Starting point is 00:39:31 There's no way. No, it doesn't. What are you doing? We want to make it funny? Yeah. He couldn't look any more like Billy Bob Thornton back there. Oh, that's for Eric. That's for Eric?
Starting point is 00:39:46 Does this match better? What do you think? I like the blue. I don't care, whatever. I got this shirt, so this matches me. I can't believe this is 3,000 Ws. Yes, $3,000. This is for, I'm somebody's Korean auntie now.
Starting point is 00:40:00 Bro. Damn, you look like that's adult, dude. I don't know why yours looks more ridiculous. What? Yeah. Eric seems to fit. Yeah. Yours looks like...
Starting point is 00:40:10 You just look like you dominate in bingo. You look like you dominate in bingo. Yeah. I'm Korean. Sun protection. Hell yeah. Dude, that comes out to the side. Like ears.
Starting point is 00:40:21 It gets ears. Yeah, Asians are scared of the sun, apparently. And if you're hip hop... Now you look like Darth Vader. It gets ears. Yeah, Asians are scared of the sun, apparently. And if you're hip-hop. Now you look like Darth Vader. Oh, yeah. Yeah. What's crazy is your forehead is big enough where it just.
Starting point is 00:40:39 Thanks, Chin. Yeah. You're welcome. Sun protection. Thanks, Chin. Oh, this is actually good because you can hear everything. Nick looks like, hey, doesn't Nick look like Cheddar Bob from 8 Mile? I need this because my wife is too quiet, and when she talks, I'll be able to scoop it in here.
Starting point is 00:40:55 Yeah. What did you say? Yeah. Oh, sweetie, I hear you now. Like that. Nice. Why did you leave the price tag on? Because we don't know how much 3,000 was. It's brand new. We don't know how 3,000 won is. I don't want to give you used stuff, you know?
Starting point is 00:41:09 By the way, I think your wives will like it way more. Oh, yeah. Rachel's going to love it. She's got a bullshit hat like this already. Bullshit. Yeah. But the only thing she's not going to like about this is it doesn't say, like, Gucci on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:21 Write it on there. Write it on there. Yeah, write it on there. Chin, go back. But it's from Korea. Just let her know. Oh, that is cool. Write it on there. Write it on there. Yeah, write it on there. Chen, go back. Get a Gucci one. But it's from Korea. Just let her know. It's straight from Korea.
Starting point is 00:41:27 Oh, that is cool. That is a little bit better than... Hand-delivered from Korea, from a Korean. Everything's from Korea, but we want it to be in very small print. Yeah, this shirt's from China.
Starting point is 00:41:36 Yeah. Korea is yours, too. China doesn't need that shit. I don't need... I need a middleman. No, you're kidding. I say it on. Yeah, you need a...
Starting point is 00:41:43 Good job, Chris. You need a middleman. No, you can go. Good job, Chris. You need a middleman. The middleman makes you feel good about it. It makes you feel less dirty. You said you're leaving in a kind way. Oh, look at me. I just made it up. No, you did not.
Starting point is 00:41:57 There's no way you're leaving. I swear to God. Are you serious? Yeah. I don't even know what I said. I knew you'd go. That means you're going to leave. I must have heard it on a movie or something.
Starting point is 00:42:07 You're studying it. Wow. Damn, he speaks Korean. That's how bullshit that language is. He's just throwing shit out. You can just say some things and Koreans are like, whoa. Dude, I got a chance to story. One time I was in a Chinese restaurant, okay?
Starting point is 00:42:24 Okay. And I'm sitting there and then I order, and then they're talking, you know? And then I'm just doing nothing. And then I go like this. I go, can I get some rice also? And they both look like this, you know? Why? Because they were talking, and one of them must have asked the other, does he want rice?
Starting point is 00:42:42 Oh. And they also must have been talking shit about me. Yeah, for sure. And they thought you understood all of it. And they thought I understood all of it.
Starting point is 00:42:50 Oh, that's funny. Good detective work on knowing all that stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Can I get some rice? Oh, you were all talking shit up.
Starting point is 00:43:01 What do you got, Cheddar Bob? Not a Chris Garcia. I'm just going to finish the episode. Quick shout out to all the boys. I want to know what your most memorable childhood toy is, but I'm going to take some guesses first. Eric, you're old, so I'm thinking you maybe went with like some Return of the Jedi era.
Starting point is 00:43:25 Fair. That's fair. Maybe some Voltron. That's so cool. That is cool. I love Voltron. D'Lea, you're my age, so I'm thinking you had some of these guys hanging out. That's the ultimate warrior.
Starting point is 00:43:41 I did, I did, I did. And you probably had one of these guys hanging out with a lot of homoerot did, I did, I did. Those were the king for me. Yep, so gay. This guy's spot on. He pulls out a dildo. I did like that. I did like that. You guys rock, man.
Starting point is 00:44:06 You got the right stuff. That guy loves toys. Baby. He's even got a toy division shirt as in take off on Joy division. What was your favorite toy as a kid? Out of a few, go ahead. He-Man was my favorite. He was right, 100%.
Starting point is 00:44:18 Thundercats. The ones I remember are He-Man, Thundercats, toy cars when I was real little. You're 40. 43. Micromachines? Only for a year. Do you have micromachines? Micromachines I had.
Starting point is 00:44:30 I had Silverhawks. Do you remember Silverhawks? No. What about Pogs? You don't know your shit. What about Pogs? I had Pogs, but I was a little older for Pogs. You were probably 20-something with Pogs.
Starting point is 00:44:40 I was 27 with Pogs. Just killing it in the Pog world. My favorite toy was a racetrack. A magnetic racetrack. You had to put it all together. Those are cool. Yeah, I remember those. You know what I mean? Yep. Silverhawks. Look at that. They were cool. I never was into this kind of stuff.
Starting point is 00:44:57 What do you mean? What's this kind of stuff? Be careful because I don't want to be offended. I wasn't into that either. Look at the red guy. He he's cool what do you mean this kind of stuff action figures action figures yeah i wasn't no teenage mutant ninja turtle oh that was my number one and you know your boy man you had the blimp that carried all of them i don't fuck with the blimp man i carried him on my pockets my thing was uh my pet monster oh, I remember that. What was that? My dad bought me My Pet Monster. I used to sleep with him.
Starting point is 00:45:29 I don't even remember. Your dad? Yeah, my dad bought it for me. You used to sleep with your dad? Oh, I remember this. Try to buy one. Holy, $400? Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:45:39 I bet my dad still has mine. Nostalgia. Dude, you could buy a house with that. Dick for a nose. Was it a toy first or a show or what? It was a cartoon and then you could buy that thing. He had a giant penis for a nose. Wow. It was hard to sleep with because the nose
Starting point is 00:45:54 was going to pee. Squeeze it and it really jizzes. It does look like him. It doesn't look like a big dick for a nose? Put a hole in it and squeeze and it jizzes. We also got some responses from the fans. Oh, I'd love to. Yeah, hopefully they recall my memory on some of the toys. Did anybody have creepy crawlers?
Starting point is 00:46:12 I remember it, but I didn't have it. You could bake out and have it. It seemed like a process. I remember my number one was He-Man and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. 100% yeah. Yeah, I love Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. 100% Ninja Turtles. And I like cars like a motherfucker.
Starting point is 00:46:25 I used to build a lot of car models. Oh, wow. Girls had the Easy Bake Oven. Uh-huh. And for some reason, guys couldn't. I just wanted to eat those treats, but this was like the guy version. Oh. And it was inedible bugs that you just-
Starting point is 00:46:37 You couldn't eat it. Yeah. Oh. Hot wheels. Hot wheels. Hot wheels were lit. Yeah. Lincoln Logs, nah, those were so boring.
Starting point is 00:46:43 That's like what you have at school for fun. Like, bullshit, yeah. What are those? Oh, yeah, micro machines were the shit. My dad saved my micro machines and brought them to my kiddos. I had moon shoes. Yeah, those were okay. Those look stupid, honestly.
Starting point is 00:46:58 Pogs, but I was like, honestly, 14 when I was doing that shit. I was like 12. I never understood that. Ah, Brendan had this. Polly Pockets? They were shit. You still have some in your pockets.
Starting point is 00:47:08 Oh. Nope. Too old. Nope. No, I didn't have that. No, yeah. I feel like we're forgetting a major one.
Starting point is 00:47:16 G.I. Joe was big for me. G.I. Joe! Hey, kid, I'm a computer. Remember that shit? Do you remember that? G.I. Joe was there. Do you remember that? Hey, kid, I'm a computer. The fucking Do you remember that Hey kid I'm a computer
Starting point is 00:47:26 It was a big viral thing That they would make fun of The G.I. Joe See if you can look up G.I. Joe I'm a computer It was like an E-bombs world They would remake it It was so funny and ridiculous
Starting point is 00:47:42 Watch They just re-audioed it Oh hell no What's up dawg would remake it. It was so funny and ridiculous. At least I remember it. Watch, watch, watch. They just re-audioed it. Oh, hell nah. What's up, dawg? Icky! I'm a computer. Stop all the downloading. Help computer.
Starting point is 00:48:12 I don't know much about computers other than the one we got at my house. My mom put a couple games on there. I feel like this is racist. G.I. Joe. Like that shit back in the day before anyone like redubbed anything, everyone was like, ah, you know what I mean? Just thinking it was so funny. You would have loved it, dude. No. That's a hint of racism, everyone was like, God, you know what I mean? Just thinking it was so funny. You would have loved it, dude.
Starting point is 00:48:26 No, that's a hint of racism, right? That felt, she's like, Dan, I know no computer stuff. The one in my home.
Starting point is 00:48:32 All right. Chris is like more, more central dude. Identifies as a woman with that hat. It's not racist, bro. It felt a little, come on,
Starting point is 00:48:44 man. You know, um, It felt a little. Come on, man. A little. Yeah. I remember the G.I. Joe cartoon was great. And then they took it off the air because it was an advertisement for the toys. Because they were selling so many toys. Yeah, so it became like you can only advertise a certain, you know. And so they just took G.I. Joe off the air because it was like they were selling so much money,
Starting point is 00:49:06 making so much money. You couldn't advertise toys that had guns on them? No, no, you can only do a certain number of, I forgot the thing, it was something about that. It was like, you could only advertise a certain, for a certain number of times, you know, for like action figures.
Starting point is 00:49:22 Hey, maybe we were probably teenagers or 10 or maybe 12. Were you into Power Rangers? No, too old. I'm too old for that. Man. And also Power Rangers are fucking terrible. It was gay.
Starting point is 00:49:33 It was so bad. Rita, fuck Rita. Yeah, I wasn't. The fucking evil Rita. No, man, I was Robotech, He-Man. Robotech is too old for me. Thundercats. Yep.
Starting point is 00:49:44 Thundercats. Thundercats. Ho. Robotech is too old for me. Thundercats. Yep. Thundercats. Thundercats. Ho. Robotech. Ho. What was Robotech? It was sort of like anime, right? It was almost like Voltron's Airplane. Can you type in top cartoon or toys in the 90s?
Starting point is 00:49:59 Transformers. Oh, dude. Why am I forgetting these? That's what I'm saying. I need a little refresh. Transformers are the shit, bro. That's what I'm saying I need a little refresh Or Transformers are the shit bro That's what made the movie It made the movie so good
Starting point is 00:50:10 When it first came out Because that was the The original Optimus Prime Oh Cabbage Patch Kids Anybody I used to collect the cards Garbage Pail Kids Yep had them all bro
Starting point is 00:50:18 Oh Troll Dolls They had their asses out the back Those were cool They're all tan A Talk Boy See I go back to like Etch A Sketch Remember getting Game Boy Oh What is it their asses out the back. Those are cool. They're all tan. A lot of this stuff, dude. A talk boy. See, I go back to Etch-A-Sketch. Remember getting Game Boy? Oh.
Starting point is 00:50:29 What is it? Teddy Rupskin? Teddy. Rupskin? Well, if you didn't say it, I would get it, but you butchered it so hard that now I can't remember.
Starting point is 00:50:35 What is it? Teddy Rup... I think that's the porno version. We'll be quiet. The Rupskin. Teddy Rupskin? Rupskin. Ruskin?
Starting point is 00:50:43 You fucked it all up, dude. Well, no, you're fucking out now because teddy rup skin ruxpin teddy ruxpin it's ruxpin you fucking this is like the 80th time we've done this other shit about that yeah for years i always find it got it every single time it's so tough it's like a daggers standing fighting the ufc it I'm not going to get it. There we go. Yeah, I had a yo-yo. That means you had no friends. Remember those? Yeah, Easy Bake.
Starting point is 00:51:11 You found a kid playing with a yo-yo by himself. God, nerd alert. Yo-yo, walk the dog. Alright. Oh, wow. Creepy collars. Crazy bones. I don't know that. That's stupid. Rock them hoes. Hold on, you're going too fast. Creepy collars. Crazy bones. I don't know that. Go, go.
Starting point is 00:51:26 And the shoes. Rock'em socking robots. No. Buzz Lightyear. That was like 2004. Oh, what the fuck? Mr. Frosty, the popsicles. Gak.
Starting point is 00:51:33 Wow, remember Gak? Oh, from Nickelodeon's. K-Nex. You rich, rich. Yeah, where's like the Legos and that kind of stuff? That's, you know. Oh, I remember this. Look at that.
Starting point is 00:51:44 Hold on. Look at that. Look at the gauge. Feast drive's on the hat, man that kind of stuff? That's, you know. Oh, I remember this. It goes, it's Kinect. Hold on. There's a gauge. Feast your eyes on that. Oh, dude. So cool. I love Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:51:52 I want to be a Ninja Turtle. Oh, remember that stupid shit? I never played it. Oh, I did. Poor. Hold on. Hold on. Street Sharks.
Starting point is 00:52:02 Oh, you put them on your hand. Oh, yeah. Street Sharks. I made that up. Oh, your hand. Oh, yeah. Street Sharks. I made that up. Oh, man. Tickle me. Tickle me. I'm way too old for that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:08 Me too. Oh, do you guys have Troll Defenders? No. Trolls were for girls, and then they had action figures. Or Stone Defenders. What? Oh, I like Troll Defenders. I wish I had a Troll Defender that just beat up the Reddit guys.
Starting point is 00:52:20 That was a long time ago. Magic. Come on. They still got that. I just got that for my son. Mr. Potato Head. I never got Mr. Potato Head. Those are fucking stupid. That's how I made my own. Ooh, Magic, man. Come on. I just got that for my son. Mr. Potato Head. I never got Mr. Potato Head.
Starting point is 00:52:27 Those are fucking stupid. That's how I made my own. Ooh, Hungry Hungry Hippo. I loved Hungry Hippo. All right. Fine. Fine. Talk over my joke. Fuck!
Starting point is 00:52:33 It'll never happen now. Fuck! God damn it. No, I got too excited. I made a fucking... What were you saying? I got too excited when I saw the Hungry Hippo. No, go.
Starting point is 00:52:45 Let's go back. Go ahead, go. Oh, fucking, oh, Mr. Potato. Oh, that's how I made my wife. Yeah, it's not the same. Yeah, I know. It would have been good. It just doesn't hit, does it?
Starting point is 00:52:55 Fucking guys, oh, hungry hippos, I'm hungry, or some shit. Hey, but it wasn't a good joke to start, right, Eric? No, it was good. It was fine. It was all right. Slinky, also another loner toy. Oh, yeah, Slinky was great. You got the stairs, you just put it down.
Starting point is 00:53:08 Hey, spaghetti. Hey, Eric had no friends, right? Slinky and Yo-Yo's. Yeah. Yo-Yo's. Keep going. See, now this is what I remember more of is playing board games. Oh, got it.
Starting point is 00:53:19 B-O-R-E-D, yeah. Mousetrap was lit. Pokemon cards is not. No, I never did that. Furby, no. Furby, look at that fucking thing. Trolls was lit. I used to love Trolls. I'metrap was lit. Pokemon cards is not. No, I never did that. Furby, no. Furby. Look at that fucking thing.
Starting point is 00:53:26 Trolls was lit. I used to love Trolls. I'm too old for that. I used to comb their hair and squeeze their butts. Oh, now those. Look at the yellow and green one. Man, remember that fucking thing? Oh, I love Super Soakers.
Starting point is 00:53:35 Gigapets. That was, I was too old. Oh, you remember My Pet Rock? But that's like 1970. No, we had the Slippin' Slide. I know, but how stupid were kids? Yeah, so dumb. Slippin' Slide.
Starting point is 00:53:43 Dangerous as fuck. Yeah. That was nice on an Etch-a-Sketch. Oh, really? Yeah. I feel like everybody was. Sucks, though. Your work all goes to shit when they just...
Starting point is 00:53:50 You just shake it. Yeah. Yeah, that's stupid. We have that here. That's actually fun. There's like super artists that... Pogs. I actually liked Pogs.
Starting point is 00:53:58 I was a little old for that, too. Beanie Babies. Not really toys, right? I never got into it. Princess Diana. Nintendo 64. Donkey Kong. Oh, here we go.
Starting point is 00:54:04 Yeah. Hala. Donkey Donkey Kong. Here we go. Yeah. Holla. Donkey Kong 64. GoldenEye. Well, I mean, I had a ColecoVision. I beat the fuck out of you. I had a ColecoVision. I had Atari.
Starting point is 00:54:13 I had all these things. Atari. I had a Commodore 64. I had all that stuff. God damn it. That's the thing. It's like my age group, we were the guinea pigs for all this stuff. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:24 So that's why I don't remember playing with toys, because I had like a computer. The first computer. They wiped your memory, that's why. That was a guinea pig. Yeah. Yeah, so I had like one of the first Apple computers. That was the kind of things that I was doing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:38 Wow, first Apple computers. Jesus Christ. Apple 2C. You sold it. They just gave them an Apple. Here, this is a computer. Remember when your school got the Apple computers and they had like, they had color on them? You could see the insides? Remember that? They're like... My schools never really got those. We were... You didn't have computers before? No. You were poor? No, I just... I was too... Yes, all the schools had this.
Starting point is 00:55:00 Yeah, no, I think I'm too old. Yeah, I had all this. In your school? No, no, you were i'm too old yeah i had all this in your school no no you were old too old i was too old for this you mean you were a teacher at the school no no no i had i'm saying i had a color got it got it got it yeah yeah because we had those i had that yeah yeah holy fuck you guys are all this dirt huh holy fuck dude i'd be jamming holy fuck i never used that though i was like what is this shit? We didn't really use those. I had a Commodore 64 and you used to be able to do this like basic programming where you could like program it to talk to you.
Starting point is 00:55:34 But you'd have to program the responses and the questions. Eric is lonely as a motherfucker. Yeah, dude. So I'd be like, wait, wait. I was the only child. How are you? I'll say. I was the only child. How are you? I'll say. I was the only child.
Starting point is 00:55:46 No, you had the computer. You're fucking dork to me. So I would be like, program would be like, hey, what's up? And it would be like, hi. And it would take me hours
Starting point is 00:55:52 and I'd be like, after like a, it would be like a 13 second conversation and I'd be like this. Woo! Got a friend. That's cute, bro.
Starting point is 00:56:01 That's cute. Imagine it like, Eric, it's time for bed. Okay. Turns it off and just goes, walks over to bed and falls asleep. That's cute, bro. cute Imagine like Eric it's time for bed Okay turns it off And just goes Walks over to bed And falls asleep
Starting point is 00:56:06 That's cute bro He'd have it roll Eric typed in Love you Love you Can't wait to talk to it tomorrow But I played outside Had the same combo
Starting point is 00:56:15 Yes when it would be I played outside though Holy fuck Hey how are you Good Cool All the neighborhood kids We'd play football
Starting point is 00:56:23 And baseball And stuff outside. Yeah, that's what we'd do. We'd hide and seek. This is fun, right? I'm playing hide and seek, and I'm like, they won't find me. We are over here. No!
Starting point is 00:56:37 I programmed that. Do you guys remember, man, God, I have such nostalgia over this, TurboGrafx-16. Did you guys ever play God I have such nostalgia Over this TurboGrafx-16 Did you guys ever play that shit? Sounds familiar Pull up TurboGrafx-16 They were like cards
Starting point is 00:56:51 That you just put in And then you play the video games And the graphics were like So colorful and vibrant I fucking loved them man I had a little handheld Bro Oh my god
Starting point is 00:56:59 I saved up for it Man I got that little handheld The TurboGrafx-16 handheld Oh my god If I had that right now Dude I'm gonna get that That shit would blow my mind right now. Look at...
Starting point is 00:57:07 Oh, here we go. Look at... Wow, look at this guy. Go to... Yeah, just the... Wow. Wow. This was unbelievable to me. I do remember this.
Starting point is 00:57:21 There were like different games. No, not that one. That one's stupid. Come on. No, no, no. What the fuck is that for? Oh! Oh, I remember him! Was this called Bonk?
Starting point is 00:57:31 What was this called? And he was a caveman. Yeah. He was a caveman kid. I think it was called Bonk. I remember this. Holy fuck. Whoa, dude.
Starting point is 00:57:39 Throwback Thursday. I thought these video games were so cool. God, the graphics sucked. Dude, that one's scary. I don't remember that one. Okay, still scary. Satanic. Does it remind you of that video game
Starting point is 00:57:50 that was a game show that was on Nickelodeon with video games and it had the host and they'd have to play against each other? I don't know. I know what that is.
Starting point is 00:57:58 Nick made it up. Talking about Jeopardy? Wait, what is this? Is it popular now? They said, why is it so popular now? It is? Well, that guy has seven views now.
Starting point is 00:58:06 Military? No, I don't know that. Wow, look at that. You remember Wolfenstein? You remember one of the first computer games, Wolfenstein? That's obviously their answer to Zelda. Oh, they have Pac- Oh, bro, my son would love this.
Starting point is 00:58:18 Fucking buy him one for $14, Chris. That was the game. That was the shit. That was the game, yes. Yeah, dude. It was so dope. And was the shit. That was the game. Yes. Yeah, dude. It was so dope. And it was scary. Water monsters, get out of here.
Starting point is 00:58:29 Yep. Yeah, I mean, he looked like Jason. It was so hard. What was the cover of this game, Nick? Slaughterhouse, it's called. I had this game. You did? Yes.
Starting point is 00:58:38 Oh, so you had TurboGrafx-16. I got to get the Pac-Man game for him. You probably could just get this online now, though. You don't need to get the whole fucking system. Yeah, but you can do the real thing. Get the system so it's not lame. Yeah, that's it, dude. I had that shit.
Starting point is 00:58:51 Splatterhouse. That was lit. It was just Jason being the shit out of people. Wow. You remember there was a 3DO? You remember 3DO? And there's a Jaguar? The gaming system?
Starting point is 00:59:03 Jaguar 3DO? Are we still podcasting? I don't even know. We're just kind of talking about video games. Nick Arcade? No one ever? No, I don't remember that. No, I'm too busy with my friends.
Starting point is 00:59:11 Well, that's another thing, too, is I used to go to the arcade. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, dude. Aladdin's Arcade in Aurora, Colorado. Play Street Fighter. It was where the shooting happened. Not a big deal. Let's sidetrack that.
Starting point is 00:59:22 But it's where the theater, where the night, Batman, the night, whatever, the shooting happened. The Dark Knight happened there. But it used to be an old arcade, the Aladdin. My mom would drop us off there, $10. Bro, hours of fun. Yeah. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:59:37 Used to play. Here's my thing. They had one track and field. Oh, yeah. You put a pencil. Nintendo, right? No, no, no. I'm talking about in the.
Starting point is 00:59:44 To run really fast Oh Dude this is my thing You remember Mortal Kombat Like there was no forms We could look up How to do the fatalities Yeah
Starting point is 00:59:51 It would be like that 20 year old Yeah That knew all the fatalities How the fuck did he find that out? He's a dork That was Eric Is this it?
Starting point is 01:00:00 No that's the Nintendo one right? The one for two grand Is what Eric's talking about That's it That's the one right there, yeah. Oh, I don't know that one. It used to, like, what you do, you'd put a pencil or, like, a comb, and then, like, in your fingers.
Starting point is 01:00:12 So the comb would touch both buttons. Because to run, you had to go like this. Both legs up. So then somebody would, you'd get a pencil, and you'd go, just hit one, and it would hit the other one, and you'd go really fast. Oh, my God, dude. That's hilarious. Yeah, we used to play, cheaters like pac-man and miss like i remember miss pac-man coming out and that being all the craze
Starting point is 01:00:30 so i'd go to oaky dog down the street from where i live oaky dog and then like we would play miss pac-man because you try to get like all of the uh what happened he said they allowed blacks back then oh yeah look there's a. Oh, yeah, look. There's a black guy on the thing. Look. Yeah. And he's losing? Get out of here.
Starting point is 01:00:48 Yeah, well, that's not right. You know who made that. You know how racist it is. This game's full of shit, dude. Oh, yeah, he's doing it. Oh, he's doing it? Oh, let's see. No, you put a thing.
Starting point is 01:00:59 That video looks current, too. I don't understand. That's how you would. So both his legs are. Oh, that's stupid. Yeah. That's how you would. So both his legs are. Oh, that's stupid. Yeah. That's really stupid. I would do it with his penis.
Starting point is 01:01:10 He does it with his penis. You put your penis on there and just do it. Feels good, too. But like Street Fighter. Oh, he's going to space. He's going to space. Oh, he didn't finish the race and it came. The big ones would be Street Fighter.
Starting point is 01:01:19 Street Fighter 2 was lit. Tekken. Yeah, Tekken. Ooh, Tekken was. Bro, that was the first time I was ever racist, I think, when I was playing Tekken. Towards Asians? Yeah. Yeah, I just got it. I had enough,ken. Yeah, Tekken. Ooh, Tekken was, bro, that was the first time I was ever racist, I think, when I was playing Tekken. Towards Asians? Yeah, I just got it.
Starting point is 01:01:28 I had enough, dude. I was so pissed off, dude. That's bullshit, dude. I'd always play as Paul. Oh, yeah. I don't know about the characters. There were some white guys there. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:36 I know, but the Asians would kill. Oh. What is that? That's hilarious. Someone tagged me in it today. I don't know. That's his cup or someone has like a broomstick behind him. That's a funny video. Beep, beep, beep. I don't know. That's his cup or someone has like a broomstick behind him? That's a funny video.
Starting point is 01:01:45 Beep, beep, beep. That was well done. All right. What was it, Tekken? Yeah. Damn, dude. Wow. God, throwback Thursday.
Starting point is 01:01:54 This is taking me back. Me too. One more. Okay. Oh, shit. What up, gang? I got a debate club for y'all coming from the black side of y'all's fan base. Story goes, I let my chick borrow
Starting point is 01:02:07 my car and naturally her estrogen kicks in and smashing my beloved whip into the back of a truck. And the folks told me that it wasn't covered under my policy. So basically we don't have to be thugging in this little
Starting point is 01:02:24 whip for now until we figure something out. This is a little two-door coupe, a.k.a. the two-piece chicken box. So my question for y'all is, have you ever had to drive in a car you was embarrassed to be seen in, and what's the plate? Are we avoiding eye contact with other drivers? Are we trying to hunker down the whole time? I know, Brendan, you big as hell,
Starting point is 01:02:46 so you probably look like Donkey Kong and Mario Kart trying to hunker down this little motherfucker. I've been there, brother. Yeah, so let me know what y'all think. And buzz, buzz, soar. Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo. Yeah, yeah. Oh, it took some liberties.
Starting point is 01:03:01 Thanks, y'all. Yeah, it'll be a little bit much, you know what I mean? I like when they take liberties. Well, first of all, I want to know, like, I need more of this story. Yeah. Because I want to hear about what happened with this girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:12 The girl crushes your car. That's crazy. No, you should be proud of what you drive no matter what it is because it's not about the car. It's about you. You're cool as fuck, you know? That sounds like Eddie who drives a nice car. But you got to be careful when you valet it, too.
Starting point is 01:03:24 That's when it gets embarrassing. I used to be so embarrassed you valet it, too. That's when it gets embarrassing. I used to be so embarrassed to valet my Prius. Oh, I see. Prius? I hated my Prius. Why is that embarrassing? Prius is one of those things where it's like, I'm not in the car game. Fuck it.
Starting point is 01:03:34 It doesn't matter. I'm cool. You're trying to like, dude, no. You'd be embarrassed if you're in like a Pinto or like, you know. I'd be lit now. My first car was a Mitsubishi Mirage. There you go. That's embarrassing. A white hatchback, you know. It was a Mitsubishi Mirage. There you go. That's embarrassing.
Starting point is 01:03:45 A white hatchback, you know. It was a stick. That's kind of cool, actually. I had two sticks. I'll never drive. It's a lot of work. It was a nightmare to drive a stick. Especially in L.A.
Starting point is 01:03:55 Yeah. I grew up here. Yeah, dude. Traffic. It was crazy. Sticks are not for L.A. God damn, look at there. Oh, yeah, dude.
Starting point is 01:04:00 Yeah, man. I had one of those. That's a 2023 one, though. I was 170 pounds in high school. What year? That would be like 88. Wow. When I had that first car.
Starting point is 01:04:11 88, 87. That car's lasted. Yeah, baby. That's the one right there. Wow. That still looks too modern. You didn't get no hose in that car. That still looks what?
Starting point is 01:04:20 That still looks too modern. Wow. That looks too modern. Yeah. I don't even see it yet. Wow. It was more boxy, huh? Something like that.
Starting point is 01:04:28 But what? Yeah. There it is. There it is. Right there. Right under it. Go to the left. And then my next.
Starting point is 01:04:35 No, no, no. To the right. In the middle. Down. Are you fucking shitting me? That. Yeah, there it is. That fucking big ass white thing that is obviously just like the last one.
Starting point is 01:04:44 You said left first. That one looks customized. You were on the right. Because you didn't have rims, those black rims. Oh, no, no it is. That fucking big-ass white thing that is obviously just like the last one. You said left first. That one looks customized. You were on the right. Because you didn't have those black rims and the tint. Oh, no, no, no. My shit was just basic. That's pretty cool. So then the best car I had when I was young was like my mom got me a Honda Accord.
Starting point is 01:04:58 That's lit. But it was stick. Those run forever. But it was stick. Oh, my God. She wasn't going to buy me like a new. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I wanted a new car.
Starting point is 01:05:05 Yeah, my God. Because she wasn't going to buy me a new car. So I wanted a new car. Yeah, of course. But back then, if you got a manual new car, it'd be like $3,000 or $4,000 cheaper than the automatic. Really? Yeah, it'd be so much cheaper to get the manual. But then she was so annoying. Yeah. Especially in LA traffic. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:19 Do we have a time machine? Yeah. Do we have a time machine? I think so. You already said that, right? Let's do it like this. What was your first car? Was your first car a Bentley?
Starting point is 01:05:30 No. Yeah, it was a Bentayga. No, I had a... Rolls Royce? No, my dad's old car. I didn't have a car. I just drove his car. I didn't have a car for a while until I graduated high school.
Starting point is 01:05:41 I got a... It was your first one though, right? Yeah. I didn't have a car. I drove my dad's car. You got one though. Yeah, I got a school. I got a... What was your first one though, right? Yeah. I didn't have a car. I know, but... I drove my dad's car. He had a... You got one though.
Starting point is 01:05:48 Yeah, I got a car. Yeah. What was his car? It was... I'm trying to tell you, bro. It was a Yukon. A Yukon. A GMC.
Starting point is 01:05:56 I knew he... I knew it. I knew it was something fancy. Me too. That's why it's like fucking stalling. That's why it's delaying. Yeah. That's why I wanted to get down to the...
Starting point is 01:06:01 Because I couldn't remember... I honestly... It was a Denali. No, I couldn't... it wasn't a Denali. I couldn't remember if it was a Yukon or a Tahoe. Oh, word. You know what I mean? They were the same.
Starting point is 01:06:10 Tell me this. What's the first car that you bought with your own money? The Mercedes. I bought the C-Class, a Mercedes. CLS. That was your first car? Yeah, because I just drove my fucking, I had this SUV I drove into the ground for years.
Starting point is 01:06:28 I had it for years. Remember that? Yeah. The Envoy. The Envoy. No, you remember that. You didn't see Envoy? Oh, man, that had, oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:06:34 Yeah, he had that forever. Forever, the fucking, yeah, wow, bro. What was your, the first car I ever bought with my own money was a Dodge 300C. For me me it was i want damn i don't remember if my mom helped me with this hyundai sonata i got but for sure it was a genesis oh those are good cars yeah i got i got this black genesis yeah first time i was like oh shit like you know what i mean yeah i was i drove off that lot like i made it i just felt like that oh, shit. You know what I mean? Yeah. I drove off that lot like, I made it. I just felt like that.
Starting point is 01:07:06 No, I didn't have that. It was a Challenger. Sorry. It would be the one. I had a Dodge Challenger when they first came out. I bought it with my UFC money. Oh, that's right. You told us that.
Starting point is 01:07:14 Yeah, there you go. See? Those are cool. That's the kind of like, you know. I thought it was fucking TI in it. I bought 22-inch rims. Not that one? I had a G80. It was more than one. I bought 22-inch rims. I had a G80.
Starting point is 01:07:27 It was more than one. No, go down, go down. The SUVs of the Genesis are fucking awesome. I had one like that. Yeah, 2000. Yeah, I had that car. The Genesis SUVs are awesome. Yeah, they got an electric one that I wanted to get,
Starting point is 01:07:40 but it's like the electric shit is taking too long for everything. Even this Fisker I'm about to get is taking too long, but it's like whatever. They just started delivering, so I'm like, whatever. Wow. Well, that was a fun trip. I'll be in Cleveland.
Starting point is 01:07:51 I'll be in Knoxville. I'll be in Nashville. ChrisLea.com. I got a bunch of dates coming up. Check it out. Come check me out in improv in Arlington. Arlington Improv,
Starting point is 01:07:59 right now. That's a good one. I'm in Covina this Thursday, Friday, Saturday. New Laugh Factory. The new,
Starting point is 01:08:04 new Covina this Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Get you some david luke's to be with me all right love you guys tickets at thickboy.com thickboy merch just dropped to the official uh jerseys authentic jerseys hoodies hats get you some love you guys Thank you.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.