The Golden Hour - Liquid Gold | The Golden Hour #56 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia
Episode Date: November 24, 2023The guys talk the recent Matt Rife controversy, Joe Montana's hatred of Notre Dame's Rudy, Chris' amazing night of sleep and being a pioneer of Vine, dealing with tiredness after tours, Erik directing... Mat Rife's special, Brendan on TikTok, their stories of poopin in public, a debate on what constitutes a good/bad pizza and much more! Get the full episode plus two extra episodes every month at https://patreon.com/thegoldenhourpodcast DraftKings - Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app NOW and use code: GOLDEN
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We're friends that laugh, we're friends that shout
Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about
But that won't stop us
Nothing can stop us
It's like a show you used to love
Just rebranded enough
It's stronger, better, bigger power
Cause it is the Golden Hour
It's the Golden Hour
Oh, look at Nick.
Turkey Day.
Gobble, gobble.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Will you dress up for Thanksgiving?
Nah, bro.
Nah, Nick's special, dude.
You got a flannel on.
It's Thanksgiving-y.
All right.
You know?
You want to wear a pilgrim's hat? Like, what do you dress for Thanksgiving? Like, nice? Yeah, but is that a... But he's... Hey, special, dude. You got a flannel on. It's Thanksgiving-y. All right. You know? You want to wear a pilgrim's hat?
Like, what do you dress for Thanksgiving?
Like, a nice...
Yeah, but is that a...
But he's...
Hey, hey, hey.
But Nick's like...
Hey, Nick.
It's like a devil turkey.
Nick is, honestly, any chance he can get, he wants to dress up like a fucking turkey.
It's a cosplay.
I'm a locker room guy.
It's bringing the energy up.
Yeah, I did, yeah.
Oh, it's Rudy.
Nick is our Rudy.
Wow, that is...
But more talented. Oh, thanks. Yeah. Nick is our Rudy. Wow. But more talented.
Oh, thanks.
Yeah.
More talented than Rudy.
Well, he wasn't that talented.
No, he's offsides.
His only play.
Yeah.
I mean, if you watch football.
You know Joe Montana hates Rudy.
Well, no, I didn't know that.
Yeah.
Somebody should look into.
I'm surprised I know that now.
Why does he hate him?
Because he got all the attention.
He never freaking played.
Joe Montana won a goddamn national championship.
But Joe Montana has a lot of attention too.
But they carried Rudy off the field.
They didn't carry Joe Montana off the field.
Sorry, sorry.
Did they play together?
Yeah.
Okay, now I understand.
Joe Montana was like, that guy sucked.
Okay, but Joe won in the long run.
Dude, it's like when those—
Look at this.
Why Joe Montana should shut up and let Rudy the legend live because Joe Montana goes to are in
the pain
It's like one of those like special needs kids that they put in the game and he scores a three-pointer you go crazy for that
I don't
You kidding me are you a monster?
But Rudy Rudy not have special needs.
No.
And Rudy also went to jail for a Ponzi scheme.
He did?
Yeah.
But that was later.
That was after he got that offside sack.
It wasn't the same day, Brendan.
He didn't leave the locker room and be like, yo, y'all want to invest in?
Yep.
Yep.
Maybe he got hit so hard.
It was way later.
Imagine being famous for something. Okay.
And then, but it gives you no money.
And so then like, but you're like well known and then you need to do something.
I mean, it's probably hard.
It's probably hard to be Rudy and broke.
Yeah.
Especially living in Indiana or whatever.
Yeah.
Move.
Imagine being like, you know, people see and he goes to them, Rudy, you know, and he's
like, fuck.
He's getting free drinks, but no one's
covering his mortgage. Right, thank you!
Just keep drinking. Yeah, just
come out with your own whiskey or something, man.
Yeah. The Rudy Brew?
Rudy Brew? Rudy Brew? That sounds
tough. And then underneath it says, I was off sides.
Wait, hold on. He was off sides?
Yeah. So he didn't do it
so the end of the movie is bullshit? Yep.
Totally bullshit.
That's funny.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
That's what I don't like based on a true story.
It's Thursday.
Yeah, happy Thanksgiving.
Happy Thanksgiving.
It's Thursday.
I got a Black Friday deal going on.
Go on to ChrisLeah.com.
You know what I mean?
I do too, though, man.
Yeah, but mine's better.
Mine's better.
Mine's way better.
Well, my merch is absolutely frigging bonkers.
Yours is good.
What?
Mine is litty, dude.
So anyway.
Yeah. No, hey. Yours is great what mine is litty dude so anyway yeah no no hey but yours is great mine is litty next level bro i painstakingly go over my merch i don't sleep i go over my merch no this
this this this this i'm like that woman with the the meme with the yeah math dude i hand i hand
make mine really i sew it and I hand make mine.
So I hate to one up you there, but I've been up all night.
True, yeah.
Wait, hold on.
Let's just actually talk about this, but I do have a Black Friday.
Also, I'll be in New Jersey and Philadelphia. Do you have a Black Friday?
Go to chrisley.com.
I do have a Black Friday, but he's on the show.
But I was going to say, damn it.
Oh, dude, I got two nights ago 11 hours sleep.
Last night, 10.
Bro, I'm invincible.
If you get that much sleep.
You do look rested.
If you get that much.
Have you ever gotten that?
Bro, the night before I didn't get much sleep because I had to fly home.
I wake up at a certain time.
I can't.
Bro, I went to bed at 10 p.m. both nights.
Wait, is that early for you oh yeah oh yeah
i went to bed at 8 p.m the other night dude why what about like shows and stuff to watch i just
fell asleep now but i get up at four now all right well at least you're getting but dude i got 11
hours sleep and then 10 hours sleep i. I feel invincible. I'm invincible. Run through the wall.
I had sick people coughing all over me.
It didn't matter.
My shit.
I got too much sleep.
I'm good.
I'm not getting anything.
I can't tell if I'm sick or if the allergy is from the wind.
Say something.
You're going to roast me.
Come on.
Have you ever got 10 hours in your life?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I haven't.
Oh, dude.
You know what?
I can't now.
My clock wakes me up.
So when do you wake up?
I wake up at like between 8.30 and 9.30.
God.
Okay.
In college?
I just wake up.
I can't do anything about it.
Are you late for class?
Oh, I'll go past that.
I'll just wake up.
Even if I go to bed.
Listen to me.
Even if I go to bed at 3 o'clock in the morning, I wake up.
I have a question for you.
Okay.
How the hell you wake up at 10 or 11 when you got kids?
Listen, I didn't even want to.
I was like, let me not even.
No, I'm going to go.
Yeah.
Go ahead.
Go there.
Newborn, too.
Newborn.
Well, it's seven months, but yeah, I've been doing it for seven months.
I'll tell you what.
Here's why.
Not a good father.
What did he say? What did he say? Just kidding. Oh, not a good father what is that what are you saying i oh not a good father i i well
i take care of my shit as a dad but also dude i bring home the bacon okay so i'll bring home
the bacon and i need sleep otherwise i'll die early that's what happens dude if you don't get
enough sleep you get dementia when you get older.
And I'm not getting that, dude.
So I bring home the bacon.
I make sure I bring home the bacon.
Okay?
And we all know what that means.
And the bacon comes with sleep.
I gotta sleep.
My wife is the shit, honestly.
Here we go.
It's 1955.
She's the shit.
Do you come home with a briefcase too?
Hello, darling.
It's like I dream a genie.
Nah, she's awesome.
And she knows that if I've been traveling, she'll let me sleep.
I do wake up sometimes.
But like the past two days, she let me sleep.
Oh, my God, bro.
I came home early.
Here's the thing.
I came home on a super early flight because I wanted to be home because I wanted to be there for her because she had been with the kids for three days.
And that sucks because when you do that, you're super tired.
You're a zombie.
It's the worst.
She was like, no, don't come home early.
Don't worry about it.
I was like, I want to.
I want to be there for you and the kids.
It doesn't work out for anybody.
I was really tired.
But you know what I did, though, dude?
Okay.
I was able to fall asleep from, where was I?
Baltimore to Salt Lake City was the connection.
You could sleep on a plane.
No. I did it for the first time. Because you were tired. I was the connection. You could sleep on a plane. No.
I did it for the first time.
Because you were tired.
I was so tired.
I fell asleep for four.
It was a four-hour flight.
I woke up.
We were landing.
I was like, oh, wow.
What time is the flight?
It was like seven.
See, this is what I'm saying.
You had a show the night before, right? Yeah.
All right.
So you're doing a show.
Oh, boy, did I have a show.
And you're just like, you're amped for the show, so you're still up.
Now you've got to get up at 3 o'clock in the morning to get to the airport.
I barely slept. Two hours, exactly. And then to get to the airport. Two hours of sleep.
Two hours, exactly.
Then you get to your zombie at the airport, zombie on the plane.
And then you land and you think, well, I'm here.
As soon as you get home, you're like, good night.
You're basically weekend at Bernie's.
Yeah, totally.
But yeah, I had a great sleep two nights in a row and it was awesome.
Eric, how about the special you directed, number one on Netflix?
It's all because of Eric.
I know.
Thank you.
I did what I could.
Sorry, Matt, but this is Eric's fault.
It's number one in Latvia, too.
I did what I could.
I did what I could.
You know, I did what I could.
You elevated it.
I did what I could.
No, it's great.
As long as it looks good.
Yeah.
He's number one everywhere.
Yeah.
Ukraine people were just like, put down your guns for a second.
We got to watch this.
Yeah, they seized fire. Thanks to Matt Reif. Y'all would have hit on matt rife and there was a
ceasefire yeah it's good good for him you know what i mean haters are gonna hate you guys too
close to the sun because yesterday i saw some articles you know just bull crap everyone loves
like oh he's flying high none of that shit and they want to bring him you know get back down
here matt listen i i tell them all the time you have to remember that you know there's a voice look the pendulum has been swinging so now you have this
young good-looking dude thank you who's appreciate sorry oh you're talking about matt rife you're
still talking about my right so i'm saying young well i thought you were good looking well bro
outside of comedy you might have me there yeah if was like, if you had like real world good looking model types, you're not in that.
Okay.
I understood.
Not model.
But dude, picture me in a regular campaign, just like, just gap.
You know what I mean?
Jeans jacket.
Just Chris, if this was a sitcom.
Yeah.
Okay.
He's the lead and you're this guy.
Hey, guys, what's up?
You're like Larry from Three's Company.
I'm the plumber that checks in every four episodes.
What is this?
So when you click on it, go back, Nick, so we can tell the people.
So Matt posted, if you've ever been offended by a joke I've told,
here's a link to my official apology.
So you click on it.
Special needs helmet.
Yeah.
Double it down.
He doesn't care about this stuff.
It's just like, you know, whatever.
But anyways, it is what it is.
People are going to.
But what I'm saying is I do feel like, you know, this whole idea that you just want to remove.
Like straight white males need to be removed from entertainment.
No, no, no.
You don't remove them from entertainment.
You just add other things.
But this move they have is to be like, you know, this toxic masculinity nonsense and all this kind of, let's just remove these people.
Because everybody wants to watch this other stuff.
No, they don't.
Like nobody wanted to see the WNBA Marvel movie that just came out.
Yeah.
Or the new Trolls.
The woke new Trolls.
Awful.
Is it woke?
Awful.
Why?
Why is it woke?
Just because.
All I'm saying is it's terrible.
My kid's right.
For a superhero movie, what is the demographic of people that want to watch superhero movies?
It's not-
Young boys.
15 to 30.
14 to 19 and there.
They want to go see, I want to see superheroes do superhero stuff.
You know, it's like, look, you know, like Barbie.
You think about Barbie.
When you get women, if you get women, they will come out.
Yeah, of course.
They're not coming out to watch superhero shit.
They don't really care.
Not for real, yeah.
I think it's pandering to women to think like, hey, we got three women.
It is, dude.
Don't you guys want to see this? And women are like, no, I don't like that bitch. Yeah, it's like, what is she doing? What's this have to women to think like, hey, we got three women. It is. Don't you guys want to see this?
And women are like, no, I don't like that bitch.
Yeah, it's like –
What is she doing?
What's his half doing, Matt, though?
Giving them –
No, what I'm saying is like he is –
He's the next Batman?
He's like doing – he's just doing him.
He's young.
He's 28.
He's talking about the things he wants to talk about.
And I think people are relating to that because they're like, finally,
somebody's not afraid to just say something whether we like it or not.
But obviously,
people like it
is number one.
Yeah,
people like it.
People like it.
They love it.
But the love comes to hate,
man.
People clown Drake
all day long.
Yeah.
Every album he comes out with,
it's the worst album ever.
It's the worst album ever.
of course.
I think Matt's good
for the pendulum swinging
because young white girls
are the wokest people,
but he's probably
showing some of them
that it can just be comedy. Yeah, it's good. They want to hate on him but he's probably showing some of them that it can just be comedy.
Yeah, it's good.
They want to hate on him, but he's so hot.
Look, he's a good guy.
He's funny.
It's good.
It's all good.
It's not bad.
It's all just good.
But all this is expected, right?
Of course it was.
Here it comes.
He got too big.
Here it comes.
His team show went, remember what we were telling you?
Here it comes.
Brace yourselves.
Yeah.
No one thought he was just going to skate by without any hate, did they?
He got too big, too famous, too good looking, too funny, too rich.
You're saying – we're still talking about Matt Rife.
Oh, I was talking about myself there for a second.
Besides the rich.
Gap ad, dude.
Call her up.
We're not talking about you.
Okay.
Banana Republic with a V-neck sweater.
See, Banana Republic's more your vibe because it's older.
Okay, well, I'm 43.
You're still young.
Pull up the dog.
Dude, that is the funniest shit.
It's so good.
That is the...
Dude, you just need to have that ready to go at all times.
When Chris starts talking about himself.
You think we're talking about you. The dog skeptical dog leader dog.
You think we're talking about you?
That dog.
Dude, that one you sent.
I've seen that one a thousand times.
And I can watch it a thousand times.
Funny.
They gave me two french fries.
Dude, how did that dog do that pose?
Honestly.
They just captured it.
Great.
No, I know.
I know they didn't do a photo shoot, but it's just amazing, though.
That is so funny, dude.
God, that dog was funny there.
So anyways. Anyways, shout out to.
There he is.
Oh, dude, so funny.
His ears all folded back, dude, like he's listening.
Yeah.
I'm like, really?
So great.
Can I ask you guys a question?
Thanksgiving.
This is something I was thinking about.
Brendan's the first result when you look up skeptical wiener dog.
Really?
Yeah.
Did I post it?
No, someone who tweeted at you.
Skeptical wiener dog.
That was in 2016.
Wow.
Wow.
OG with this.
OG.
That's that old?
That's crazy, man.
It was pretty old, but I didn't know it was that old.
Hey, you're welcome, guys.
You enjoy it?
You didn't post it, man.
My fans did, though.
You're welcome, guys. You enjoyed that content?
I enjoyed it. Thank you for your fans.
Dude, I'm a TikToker now. I just
discovered TikTok.
I don't care.
What would I care
less about? You know what I mean?
You're a TikToker, though. I didn't know.
What do you mean by that?
We've been talking, dog.
I'm on TikTok.
I'm vibing here, bro.
No, that's,
It's a TikTok vibe.
I never look at TikTok.
But you're a TikToker though.
I'm on TikTok.
But you're a Viner.
Yes, I was on Vine
and I would look at Vine.
This was 12 years ago, Brendan.
Is Vine that old? I was 31, I think. So yeah, 12 years ago, Brendan. Is Vine that old?
I was 31, I think.
So, yeah, 12 years.
Oh, my God.
I think so.
Yeah, that was crazy.
I just discovered TikTok.
Yeah, because I could only take you in six seconds per expectant.
And now look at us.
2013.
Okay, so 10 years, yeah.
Wow.
Talking about something coming and going.
Let's take a break, dude.
There's so much to be thankful for.
What the heck is going on, dude?
There literally is so much to be thankful for.
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So you're on TikTok.
I just started.
Someone was running it for me.
Now your boy's back at the range, right?
And the business is popping.
Your boy's back on the range now.
So you post TikTok now? Oh, so what's up with this shit? What the range, right? And the business is popping. Your boy's back on the range now. So you post TikTok now?
Oh, so what's up with this shit?
What's up, bro?
You fucking bought a dumb car or what?
Yeah, man.
It's a lemon.
It's going to be a lot of work.
Do a real wrench into things, into the content.
They have a whole different computer in it and a whole different mods.
And no, no, no Ford dealership is going to touch that.
No, no, no.
So I'm going to go to Specialist.
So you're fucked.
No, I'm not fucked. Okay. No, that'll get it figured I'm going to go to Specialist. So you're fucked. No, I'm not fucked.
Okay.
Oh, daddy can get it figured out.
Nothing can be run in that shit.
So you get it new.
Huge headache.
You get it new and then you put nonsense on it?
No, no, no.
He got it with nonsense in it.
Oh, you bought it with nonsense.
20-year-old truck, right?
From the nonsense.
Ford Lightning.
Shout out to Paul Walker.
20-year-old truck.
And the guy.
So it was in Phoenix.
So I sent somebody to inspect it for me.
Didn't know they were a moron.
They inspected it.
It's all good.
No mods.
I show it to my son.
I'm like, this thing's modded the fuck out.
Your kid's in the car and he's like.
Yeah.
This is from Ford?
Ford did this?
I was like, Ford did this?
A hairdryer.
But it's one of those like female ones where it goes.
Has the exhibit autograph on the front?
I'm like, I don't know, man.
We'll get it figured out though.
All right.
Got it.
So I put it on this dyno and I'm with dudes with monster trucks, like 700, 900 horsepower.
I'm like, let me get this bad boy up there.
125 horsepower, which it should have 400. That's like on, 900 horsepower. I'm like, let me get this bad boy up there. 125 horsepower, which it should have 400.
So that's like on a golf cart.
Yeah, it's a mini coupe.
You don't know.
He's got the horsepower of the chair that goes up the side of the stairs.
That's the horsepower.
That has 125 horsepower.
Or it's the one at the fucking supermarket that the fat girl's going on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know how you don't really know?
Like, I don't know those guys that well. I'm sure someone under the breath goes, get that piece of shit off this, man. You heard him go on? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know how you don't really know? Like, I don't know those guys that well.
I'm sure someone under the breath
goes, get that piece of shit off this, man.
You heard him say that?
Yeah, I went...
Like...
So...
All right.
Wait, so you're...
You're in the...
Oh, there's fucking Sam again.
Yelling.
Just yelling again.
Yelling over Black Rock or something
for the 70th time.
So you're just buying...
You know,
is it called Brendan Buys a Lemon?
Yeah, what's it do?
No, that was an accident, man.
All right, but hold on.
So what was the lesson you learned?
You have to learn a lesson here.
So what was the lesson you learned?
What are you not going to do again?
I'm never going to buy a car without me going through it.
Okay.
I'm not taking people's word for it.
But now part of the project're going to fly out.
But now part of the project is figuring this thing out.
Sure.
People like that wrecked ship.
Oh, I know.
Which I wasn't aware of.
Yeah, sure.
Anything car related, yeah.
I didn't know people liked to see failures.
Like, yeah.
Oh, people like to see failures.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So this is it right here.
That's me and my Ford lighting.
We'll get it figured out, though.
I get a specialist seat. And he ended up on the truck, the thing. Can you. That's me and my Ford lighting. We'll get it figured out, though. I get a special seat.
And he ended up on the truck, the thing.
Can you tell that's me?
Oh, wow.
That's you?
Yeah.
Oh, my gosh.
Dude, I knew you went through some shit, but I know you wear full.
You were number five?
That was American Eagle shirt.
It's freshman year of college.
How awful is, and look, we all did it.
But how awful is – how awful is it to wear a numbered brand shirt like that?
Like just like they picked it 12 and you just have it.
13, yeah.
It's so dumb, dude.
Remember a hundred to you.
What means – no, it doesn't.
It's just five.
I said it could.
Okay, but it didn't nick yeah
nick was just like oh cool faded a little bit speaking of not around anymore you remember
hollister when they're like the male and the female models out front oh did you just clone
did you guys see that documentary on amber crombie was that for abercrombie right yeah
great documentary that's the same thing i saw. I saw it. What was the thing?
It was like they only picked good-looking people or something.
Yeah, it's weird.
It's like they wanted to sell shirts.
I know.
I thought that was...
And now they have just fat girls on Abercrombie?
Yeah, White Hot.
That's the name of it.
But that was the thing that they were hot, and they should have been hot, right?
Because they were trying to get people to come in the...
It's a weird thing, man.
I don't remember.
The guy was fucked in some of the tweens, though.
That's the problem.
It's a weird thing.
This would be like... You know what? If you applied this to something else right yeah let's
say you applied this to food then the thing would be like people would be like well bad tasting food
should be there too you know what i mean yeah you know that's what this that's the logic behind
they go like okay well here's good look at look. Look at the fucking Victoria's Secret now. They're like, never mind.
Yeah, we'll have trans women.
Oh, never mind.
You can see I was like.
Yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
Or fats.
Didn't they have fats on it?
Yeah, they have fats there.
Victoria's Secret models.
You can't have fats on it.
That's not what their brand is.
They have thick angels on it.
Get a new thing called fats.
That's a different brand.
Dude, I was on. Of course the rebrand is over look look look that woman is beautiful obviously hey there's levels i know i know but i'm saying is she if you put her in a
victoria's secret ad people are like what the fuck yeah that's what i'm saying have a thing called
biggs or whatever you want to call it. It's called Lane Bryant.
Lane Bryant.
There you go.
Yeah, she's a Lane Bryant model.
You go, damn.
The people walk by, they go, damn.
They're used to the Lane Bryant.
They go, damn.
But in Victoria's Secret, they're like this.
What?
Yeah.
The thing becomes this.
If you want to sell sexy stuff, okay,
you would think that logically, you know, it's like here's sexy stuff yeah not everybody's sexy so we're gonna put of course that you know universally we feel aesthetically
or sexy yeah whether you whatever you're and that pendulum is like you know that that range is
whatever and we're gonna put those people to sell. So the question to me is just like, just stop selling this stuff.
But don't try to sell it with some shit.
We're like, what are you doing?
We know it's not sexy.
Yeah.
Keep it on brand if you're going to do it.
What I'm saying is just don't sell it.
That's the real point.
You can't have Victoria's Secret and then be like, oh, we're going to put a big bitch in it
and then be like, oh, guys, right?
No, we just go, no, just don't sell this.
Don't sell what?
The Victoria's Secret.
It just should go away.
You got to keep it sexy.
Got it.
Yeah, right.
That's the appeal.
Sexy.
That's the thing.
She looks hot.
Right, right, right, right.
Or whatever it is.
Yeah, you're selling a lifestyle like, oh, fuck, I want to be like that.
Well, be like me.
I'm only doing fast cars.
People are like, what about slow cars?
They matter too.
It's like, no one gives a fuck about slow cars. You know what the thing is? You know what? And this is, by the way, in my opinion, this'm only doing fast cars. People are like, what about slow cars? They matter too. It's like no one gives a fuck about slow cars.
You know what the thing is?
You know what?
And this is, by the way, in my opinion, this is only for women because I'm not going to
be on the cover of GQ.
Yeah, of course.
Don't sell yourself short.
No, no, no.
You keep directing like you're doing.
It is what it is, man.
No, you keep directing like you're doing.
What's that male fitness magazine?
Men's Fitness.
Okay.
Thank you.
I thought it was another one, but you're right. Is it about muscle and fitness. Okay. Thank you.
I thought it was another one, but you're right. What's that one magazine about muscle and fitness?
Yeah.
What I'm saying is this magazine is about muscles and fitness.
You can't have no skinny bitch on there with no muscles.
I can't be on there like I'm the woke choice.
Right.
But if we would look at this, you can't have me underneath the words muscle
and health and fitness or
whatever it is.
Because you're selling a thing. This is what you're selling.
And if there's clothes that go along with that,
it would be the same thing. Put me on a cover of
Ebony. Someone thought Eric was sexy
enough to get a tattoo of him.
What? Oh!
Fuck cops, it says
on the chest. I like how the tattoo has a tattoo. Is that Big Lebowski? Also, fuck cops, it says on the chest.
I like how the tattoo has a tattoo.
Is that Big Lebowski?
Also, it's got a, look, they thought you were Eddie Griffin.
It's got a, the dick is on it, too.
They blurred it out.
Amazing.
And that's on somebody's, like, ribs, like lower stomach?
Yeah, it sure is.
That's gangster, dude.
You think they have the symmetrical on the other side?
There's crazy workaholic fans that have tattoos. Yeah, it sure is. That's gangster, dude. You think they have the symmetrical on the other side? There's crazy workaholic fans that have
tattoos. Yeah, for sure.
I saw a guy, the guy had a picture
of my face on his, like somewhere weird, and I was
like, are you fucking kidding me? Hey, time out.
Is Brian killing Sam Tripoli next week?
Doesn't that sound like he's dying?
Yes. Oh, yeah.
Oh, my God.
We probably can't hear it on this.
How are they still friends?
We don't argue enough.
You know what I mean?
Maybe we should start yelling.
Maybe.
All right.
So, look.
Thanksgiving.
What are you guys doing?
The white thing.
Dry ass turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce.
Were you going to be here?
I had to put my foot down because my girl tries to make it Mexican.
Like the soups and tortillas and tamales.
Yeah, tamales.
I've never had a good tamale.
They're all basic as shit.
The views expressed by Brendan are not the views expressed.
I don't even know.
Honestly, a tamale is that thing that comes in the little wrap thing.
In the corn, ear thing.
I don't know.
There's good ones.
They're all right.
I've had a ton of them.
They're all basic.
You're not into tamales.
It's okay.
Nobody is.
No, that's not true. People go like this. Oh've had a ton of them. They're all basic. You're not into tamales. It's okay. Nobody is. No, that's not true.
People go like this.
Oh, fuck yeah, tamales.
They're good, but I'm not like, oh, I can't.
You're saying of Mexican food, the most basic is the tamales.
I would not say tamales are my go-to at a Mexican restaurant.
Tamales are like white person's slingshot.
Right?
Yeah, but okay.
I was in the middle of it.
What's your go-to at a Mexican restaurant?
I mean, look, I'll tell you what.
I love good Mexican food.
I am never the guy
who's like,
let's get Mexican.
I don't know why.
So I would just get like-
Tell me you're white
without telling me you're white.
Although I went to this place
downtown the other day.
Of course.
No, are you kidding me?
White people love Mexican food, dude.
White people are always like,
dude, you've been to this Mexican-
You think it's Mexican?
Yeah, they like that.
It's not real Mexican.
I always call it white boy spicy.
Yeah.
You know,
like some white guys will get some sauce.
They're like, oh, my God.
Nah, bro.
That ain't real.
When my mother-in-law is like, hey, that's spicy.
Be careful.
You better fucking listen.
You're talking to the dude that blew through hot ones.
Blew through hot ones.
How many people blew through hot ones?
Hello.
I'm one of them, dude.
I blew through it.
It was nothing.
Mexican spice, like real authentic Mexican spice will light your asshole on fire.
All I'm saying is I went to.
Holy shit, dude.
Look at my hair.
Because when he sweats, it goes to his hair.
But how about I went to this place the other day, Sonoraville or something downtown.
It was really good.
That's one of those like what they call.
That's one of those fusion Mexican places.
Yeah.
Did they have burritos? Yeah. Not Mexican. Yeah. But it's like burrito. That's like. Yeah like, what do they call it? That's one of those fusion Mexican places. Yeah, do they have burritos?
Yeah.
Not Mexican.
Yeah, but it's like burrito that's like in a weird way.
Yeah, not Mexican.
No, they were all Mexican there.
Well, last night I was in Manhattan Beach and I went to a place called Tacolicious.
Okay, well that sounds like it's not really Mexican.
It's owned by a white guy named Dave.
It's owned by Fergie.
But you know what?
It was delicious.
It was delicious?
Yeah, but bad Mexican food's good too, man.
Yeah, it's never horrible.
You can always figure it out.
It's like pizza.
It's like pizza, yeah. I'm never a guy that's like- Yeah, it's never horrible. You can always figure it out. It's like pizza. It's like pizza, yeah.
I'm never a guy that's like –
No, there's bad pizza.
Sorry, go ahead.
There is.
Of course there is.
It's never like you can't eat it.
I mean, no.
It's just very, very hard to find very bad pizza.
Yes.
It's pretty easy to do.
I just saw an Instagram post about the 10 worst rated meats.
It said, don't go to these places because they're meat grade.
I was like, oh, no.
Now you know.
Because your thing is like, I'm still going to go.
You know what I mean?
I shouldn't have read it.
I'm like you with Kanye shoes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Exactly.
I can't go to Sizzlers anymore.
It's pretty bad.
What's on there?
It's like Applebee's.
Of course, places you would think.
Chili's, Applebee's.
Like Jack in the Box and these kind of things.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like the meat is not, it's like 80% meat.
It's not Wagyu.
And then there's other things, filling and stuff like that.
You just kind of go, oh, no.
But no shit.
Like I don't go to Taco Bell.
I'm like, this is going to be 100% beef.
Yeah, you do.
You should think that.
Oh, no.
There's plastic and shit in it.
It's delicious.
Well, I haven't had Taco Bell.
Dude, I haven't had Taco Bell in 24 years.
You're gay.
I just saw another one where the guy cut a hot dog.
I'm not gay.
The guy cut a hot dog and put it under a microscope.
Why would you do that?
So my son's never going to have a hot dog.
You know what?
Hot dogs are the number one things that kids choke on.
Yeah.
Yep.
It's just what was in this hot dog.
My son eats five hot dogs a day.
Well, he's old enough now,
but I'm saying like as a baby.
Yeah, he's four.
Yeah, but, well, yeah.
Well, three.
Right.
Oh, no, we've always known hot dogs
are mystery meat.
Yeah, no, you know hot dogs are bad, bro.
But the things,
I hate when you see the things, though.
Oh, yeah, well, I don't look.
I just don't look at this shit.
That's why they say you don't see
all the sausage you saw.
This is the one.
So what the fuck does he look at?
Oh, baby.
Let's see.
Oh, it looks disgusting.
It's a sponge.
You're going to see.
What?
Why did he put a worm on that?
Why did he do that?
Because he wants to show you the.
A worm with.
What?
Is that that green spaghetti sauce?
This isn't the one I saw.
That worm looks delicious.
This is something different.
Why was that all? What was that all about? We have to't the one I saw. That one looks delicious. This is something different. Why was that all?
What was that all about?
We have to hear what he's saying.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, I don't eat hot dogs, but I will tell you this, man.
They're fucking good.
And I'll be frank, a Dodger dog?
But you know, I'm learning all these things.
You're not supposed to give a kid until first year honey.
Right.
Things like that.
Because they can be allergic to it?
No, it's because honeys have certain bacteria that's not good for oh i thought it was a choking thing you gotta be careful too as 2024 like these
pussy parents like kids can't have peanuts but no growing up you know anybody that was allergic to
fucking peanuts that's not true you have to you have to give them shit you have to expose them
to stuff but let them get wild but i'm saying but there's like you know there's specific yeah
honey's one of them yeah it has certain it has a bacteria in it that the kids are not ready for.
Yeah, the bacteria in their tummies.
So we started feeding.
Feeding, I don't know how you'd be on this,
but feeding, like after bottle, like feeding actual food,
I can't do it, dude.
They just choke.
You have to like wait for them to be like,
it will happen.
The process.
You're just like, oh, come on, don't die.
You know?
It's so terrifying.
Do you have one of those pump things? Yeah, but do they work? You got to hit their back, dude. I'm like, babe, come on, don't die. It's so terrifying. Do you have one of those pump things?
Yeah, but do they work?
You got to hit their back, dude.
I'm like, babe, you do it.
I cannot do this.
Nothing is more excruciating than watching your kid try to figure out how to eat the food.
I'm like, I'll potty train all day long.
I cannot feed.
It's nerve wracking.
For me, it's nerve wracking, bro.
Well, here's my thing me it's nerve-wracking bro well here's my thing you know rachel's jewish
so they you know they want to have a bris but what's that again what's that brisket yeah where
they cut the dick yeah yeah and i'm just oh no brisket brisket that's yummy yeah i'm just like
i'm really kind of like i don't know do i have I have to be there? You know? Even at the hospital,
you don't like seeing
that kind of stuff.
And the doctor goes,
no, we give them sugar
for the first time.
They don't feel.
I'm like, oh yeah?
What baby told you
that piece of shit?
Well, you think about stuff,
you think about like trauma.
If you're six or 10
and you just get
the tip of your dick off,
you're different after that.
You're different.
You're different. Why is it not true that if you're a few days old, you're. You're different after that. You're different.
Why is it not true that if you're a few days old,
you're not different after that?
They say that you don't remember.
I bet you're different.
Tell me your first year old,
do you remember your one year old party
that your parents threw for you?
Oh yeah, dude. How was it?
Lit.
No, shut up.
Lit.
We had, they had Chingy.
We don't wanna hear about your broke ass Denver party.
You guys had it going right.
It was sad.
Chingy was there.
It was a sad ass party. Yeah, it was sad. Chingy was there. It was a sad-ass party.
It was sad.
Chingy was there.
I did that joke three times, and it wasn't worth it.
Go ahead.
We're not spending money on it.
I liked it, though.
Chingy.
But I want to let you know it wasn't worth it.
It was worth it maybe twice.
The third time, I felt really uncomfortable after that.
You feel bad about it?
I just should have let it go.
Yeah, I should have let it go.
Have you told them to look in the history of circumcision
and why they do it?
It makes no sense.
It's mutilation.
I'm getting my tip reapplied.
Me too.
I want a hood, man.
I'm getting it black.
Yeah.
I'm getting it black.
Yeah, I'm doing the full.
You're just doing the tip.
I'm going full black.
I'm surprised they're not doing that.
That seems like a scam. It's a thing. Yeah. Yeah, I'm doing the full. You're just doing the tip. I'm going full black. I'm surprised they're not doing that. That seems like a scam.
It's a thing.
People would be like.
Yeah, if you still.
You want it reapplied?
Yeah, if you still had it, they would have it.
But mine's probably thrown away.
It's out there somewhere.
Nick, are you circumcised?
In the ocean.
Oh, yeah.
It's just a piece of tape.
Everyone in here is circumcised by chin.
I already know this brand.
You already know this brand.
No, I wasn't even going to ask you.
They don't do Asians.
No, Asians keep the wizards.
They should, though.
Fuck it.
Why cut the dick?
What the fuck?
I'm with you.
Why mutilate?
Why cut a part?
It's on there for a reason.
Your penis is thicker for it, too.
I'm being serious.
Thick boy.
Thick boy.
That was a little bit.
Chin said that with a little braggadociousness in it.
It's a little bit thicker.
It's thicker.
Because you have more skin. Of course. Chin said that with a little braggadociousness in it. It's a little bit thicker.
Because you have more skin.
Of course.
My shit, I feel like, yeah, I feel like, I guess why I cut the dick.
It makes no sense.
You talking about the anteater right now, Nick?
That's Chin.
No, that's not me.
No, that's not me.
Thanks for laying it down, dude.
That's not you?
Yeah, I. You also don't want to get made fun of in the locker room
if they're playing sports.
The kid with the anteaters can get bullied for having a lizard sleeve.
Not anymore.
No, it still happened.
It's still happening, but it went way down.
When we decided what to do with our kids,
not saying which way we did,
but we talked about it at length with the pediatrician.
They're like, it's like 50-50.
It's not going to be like that.
So, we'll see. We'll see. We we'll see what do you got for us nick oh we've
seen this guy's guy in montana oh yeah he's uh the btk killer all-time leader and sent in
submissions we haven't we haven't even seen all of them but uh this one's this one's a good one
something chin might not struggle with because of his uncircumcised penis.
Hey, guys.
Dustin again.
Doing some more hunting.
Got to thinking on my way down here.
What's worse?
Debate it.
Your big wiener touches the water when you sit down to use the bathroom.
Well, that's every time. Or you get a couple of the last person's drip drips on your butt cheeks when you sit.
Well, that never bothers me.
Debate it.
Which one's worse?
To be honest,
my penis always touches
the bottom of the bowl.
Yeah.
I saw my guy say,
it's cold in here.
Nick.
Nick.
Dog.
I told you,
have it ready
when anything comes out
of this fucker's mouth.
My penis is touching
the bottom of the bowl
right now.
That's how big it is.
But I, no, it does. And I just touching the bottom of a toilet bowl right now. That's how big it is.
But I... No, it does.
And I just...
Chris, you're going like this.
Roll over it.
Ooh.
Pee on the seat
never bothers me.
I don't care.
It should.
No, who cares?
Nah, what's it gonna do?
What's it gonna do?
Well, pee on the seat.
If you see it, you wipe it.
Of course you wipe it.
But if there's some...
You know what I don't...
No, you're saying it
like you don't wipe it.
You just go...
He did say it like that. He goes like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I don't You're saying it like you don't wipe You just go He did say it like that
He goes like this
Yeah yeah yeah
You know what I'm more worried about
You know how everyone
Folds their wieners
When you're taking a shit
The wieners touch the
Yeah
That bowl
That's what I do
That's what I get worried about
I don't
It's so weird
I do think about that
I always think
How many dicks is this
Yeah me too
Well yeah lay it
Lay it on the top
Lay it on the top
I do it like this
No I put it
I go like this You don't pee put it. I do it like this.
You don't pee when you shit?
I have a holder.
I have a guy who comes in that holds it for me.
Just like this.
Yeah, yeah.
You just pee just puts a thing on it.
You know what I mean?
It's like a funnel that just keep your pee.
No, that's what I'm saying.
You have to.
It's what you have to do.
No, I don't use those things either.
Oh, never.
Yeah.
Never in my life have I used one of those. I've used it if it looks like a mess. I'll tell you why I use those things either. Oh, never. Yeah. Never in my life have I used one of those.
I've used it if it looks like a mess.
I'll tell you why I use it.
Never.
For this thing you're talking about.
You put the flap in.
Yeah, that is true, yeah.
And then you have, you know.
Sometimes you get toilet paper and just put it.
Yeah, I do that too.
I've done that, yeah.
Everything you say.
I just wear a condom when I shit.
It's all like, you have like the poor man's guy to,
you know what I mean?
Protecting your dick.
Yeah.
That'd be his book.
The poor man's guy.
You don't have any money.
Here's how you do it.
Protecting your dick for dummies.
Bro, honestly.
From what?
From what?
From dummies.
Yeah.
Dick protection dummies.
Dummies for dick protection.
No, but he said,
protecting your dick from dummies
yeah
that's a whole different
book set
yeah
yeah
yeah
but
none of this makes sense
it goes from chapter
one to ten
he's like
one to ten
the back flap
is the guy who wrote it
he's just like
with his dick out
but nick can't you get herpes if if the herpes are on the toilet i don't know if that's true
can you not get anything from your wiener touching the toilet it is very true and i'll tell you
another one that's true too like don't do this because this has happened because rachel's all
about these kinds of things that makes me feel better So when you go to, like we at the gym, for instance.
We at the gym, you have your towel.
Yeah.
All right?
Yeah.
Like don't use your towel or if you have your towel on like a place
that maybe somebody was sweaty, you could get stuff from that.
Not STDs though.
I don't think so.
Yeah, you can.
Wrestlers would get herpes on their lip.
But that's because they kiss each other.
That's the sweat.
That's the sweat. There's a couple kiss each other. That's the sweat.
That's from sweat.
Really?
There's an increasing amount of women on dating apps nowadays
who are like, oh, just so you know,
I'm HSV2, but it's pretty safe
if you use a condom and there's no breakout.
And I'm like, go away.
Is that herpes?
Yeah.
If there's no breakout and I'm on medication, you can use a condom.
And I'm like, see ya.
Well.
Well, that's a no from Nick.
Well, statistically.
Okay.
So I'm a weird.
Statistically.
I'm a weird one with this.
Yeah.
I'm a weird one with this.
Okay.
I'm going to say right now, I do not have herpes.
I, if I had it, if I got it from a partner, I wouldn't care.
If I loved someone and I got it, it's just kind of annoying and it sucks, right?
Well, that's all that.
You're both in the same club.
You're both in the same club.
Who gives a fuck?
If I had it and Kristen had it, I don't care.
But it's not like one of those, you know, you're going to, you know.
There's one that, like, you could get cancer.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But doesn't everybody have HPV?
That's what I'm trying to say.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like, I think there's, like, a form of herpes that, like, 85% of the population, like, whatever.
There's, like, all kinds of different.
That's what they need to work on, and that's what they're trying to, like.
When I didn't get tested for STDs for 17 years.
17 years.
Okay?
I go 90% of active men.
Is anybody listening?
I'm so sorry.
That's a big stat.
90%?
I don't like how you skimmed over that.
90%?
This guy's so into the joke, and we're like, bro, bro, bro.
But wait, hold on.
But HPV is, I don't even, I honestly, I don't even know if I have this or not.
Doesn't everybody have this?
It's like untestable and got it.
Yeah, exactly.
I think it's some conspiracy.
HPV is bull.
Who cares?
Everyone's got it.
That's the great one for guys.
You're either going to not fuck Or get HPV
But here's the thing though
But HPV
I wanna go to my store
But how
If you look at the risks for women
It's a whole different thing
I know but we
Women
And Chris go
90%
Go ahead Chris
I didn't get tested
For 17 years
Okay
And Kristen was like
You gotta get tested
And I was like
Alright And I was so nervous Because get tested and i was like all right and i was so
nervous because i'm like i have it all i have it all and i don't want it i have
new ones that aren't out yet yeah you're pregnant you had covid back then you're just like this is
fucking you were like they're like you had covid in 2002 all right so so i get i i go get tested
dude 17 years it comes back i have nothing probably i have nothing and i and i and i'm like you went right home and
came right in her i i go i go i said babe i have nothing and she was like what i was like i got
nothing and dude i thought the tests were wrong i went back dude i got nothing Did your buddy do the test? Or you went to like a legit? No.
Let me just say this.
Dude, condoms work.
Condoms work.
I always use condoms.
I have one on right now.
Condoms are for pussies.
Chris called 3,000 women and been like, you're okay.
Let me just put this tweet out.
That was a long week.
He was like, put this tweet in.
Mass text.
Just a mass text. It was a while ago, guys.
He could just mass text to the names.
Like 14 Janet.
Hey, Janet, you're good.
This guy has a related question.
Nick's good with the related questions.
How does he do that?
He just guides the conversation.
Dirty text, right, guys?
He's the puppeteer.
It's Brent.
Hey guys.
So, a while ago I had to go in for a semen analysis.
Been there.
And I go in, I get to the little room and there's a blank DVD case.
Obviously, I'm going to look and see what's inside.
Have to.
So, a few weeks ago, I go back, different room, same thing.
I got to see this one too.
Okay.
So, I sent pictures of them in to see if you guys had to watch one of these,
which one would it be?
And my debate club along with that would be,
when you're going there to make your deposit,
are you sitting in that weird little recliner that a hundred other guys have
beat off in that day?
Or are you standing up facing away from the mirror like I did?
All right, gang, gang, soar, woo, woo, woo, woo.
So hold on.
Stuff me with anything?
Liquid gold.
Wait, so let me ask.
She's peeing.
So why?
All right, so wait, hold on.
Okay, so.
Liquid gold 18?
So semen analysis.
So why get this?
Because you got to make, so if your girl can't get pregnant, if there's an issue, they want to make sure it's either –
Or if you've been trying.
Yeah.
So they want to make sure it's an issue with her or you because if your sperm count is really low –
Yeah.
And it's easier to test.
Is it really?
It was.
It's easier to test a guy.
So you got to jack off in there.
So it was.
And then what do you do?
Then there's stuff you can take like shots and pills you can take to get your sperm count.
Got it.
And you're nuts.
Get popping, bro.
What do you mean, big?
Oh, just, ugh.
Really?
You're shooting gross stuff.
Oh, did you take pics?
Oh, send me a video.
So check out this rope, Chris.
Wait, wait, wait.
He's all breathing on the video.
Liquid gold.
You're about to say something, so go ahead, because I have something to say, too.
I don't remember, but thank you.
Out of those, I would pick Stuff Me With Anything
17.
Anything, bro? Like what?
Yeah. Any?
Oh, no. I thought he was
talking about various penis sizes.
This says candles, toys, fingers,
tongues, and other foreign
objects. How about neither?
I'm just going to use my cell phone like i
did that's what i go to black.com that's a good one let me ask you this you know the world the
world we live in right now right imagine you go into there and it's woke choices oh yeah
like you can't tell if anyone's a man or a woman. Yeah, yeah. It's like, well, you know, you'd be like, no, this is not how it works.
He's like, the guy's been in there for 45 minutes.
Like, yeah, the pronouns.
I'm not hard yet.
But that's what the thing is.
Like, you know what?
People can say what they want.
No one's genitals are woke.
Biology.
Mm-hmm.
You know what I mean?
They're just not.
Yeah.
You can say what you want, but.
What's that?
This is a doctor who she looks at semen under microscopes.
Okay.
And she shows, like, some...
Hey, use a pointer.
Why is she using her finger?
She's using a hot dog.
You know what I mean?
She has to go...
And this guy has a few tails, at least two.
Ooh.
Oh, that one does, too.
A few tails.
What is that guy doing?
It's Sperm Monday.
Get rid of that one.
She's naming them.
That's nowhere.
So what are the good ones?
The ones going croak When you see them
The ones that move a lot
The ones that move a lot
Are going to swim up
Like a motherfucker
That's so weird
And you just need one
Apparently
Yeah you just need one
Right
Dude once I got on that
Clomid
My shit was popping
I had a bunch of
Swimming
I know
This is making me uncomfortable
This sperm is cracking me up.
It's like getting stuck in this other guy, and it's got a curved tail.
Well, that's the deal.
Where are we going?
This guy's in the way, so you can't see him.
That's fucking crazy.
Can you see his tail?
It almost looks like a loop.
What a silly guy.
What?
This guy is so silly.
Really silly.
So hold on.
Do they have bells in there?
Yeah, once they're arguing too much, they ring a bell.
That's weird.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
Who rings it?
I do.
I created the show.
Oh, okay.
It's a disaster.
I made a mistake.
That's all right.
Can I just say something? I was thinking about something for a weird dream I had,
but I wish we had a female person to ask this to,
but I'll ask you guys.
Okay.
You're single.
I'm fluid.
All right.
If you two, let's say you're friends the way you are,
could you be into the same girl?
Let's say you guys were into the same girl would you can
you maintain your friendship oh yeah someone right yeah yes the guy thing
right no question there's like a hell's a there's like a competitive there's
like a competitive thing you might have you be I can you want yeah right up a
good for you right do you think women can do that certain ones with daddy that's the question i would ask
if any of our female fans well i mean some can yeah some can but generally i would say no but i
would yeah guys are but even through it though right right you know what i mean like i right
no i i don't think women could i mean i've dude i used to there was one one of my buddies we used
to always go after the same chicks and he he would get them a lot of the times.
Sometimes you both get them.
Sometimes the chick leaves, and you just fucking kiss the guy.
It's all good, man.
No.
But he's doing it quick.
It's like the five-second rule.
Does she just leave?
Come here.
We're not good.
We're not good.
So wait.
Yeah, dude, I thought it was funny.
I thought it was funny.
Oh, fuck. What did I do wrong? Oh, man. So, yeah, I just it was funny. I thought it was funny, yeah. Oh, fuck.
What did I do wrong?
Oh, man.
Yeah, I just think that's a weird thing.
We need more female fans to answer that question.
Yeah, that's a good question.
I think on a lot of-
So Chin and Nick, if you guys, could you do it?
It wouldn't be weird if you were in here?
Like if you and Nick were going after the same chick?
Not that same girl.
No, no way.
That's so weird if it's weird.
I think Nick would.
I think he would.
I was kind of looking at something.
Were you talking about I'm watching Chin?
No.
No, no, no.
Whoa, hey.
So Nick.
So they turkey guys.
So they turkey guys.
So Nick's gay.
So Nick's gay.
So Nick's a guy.
What did Nick hear?
I don't know.
He just.
So Chin's fucking someone and I'm watching. Nick's all. He's like, hell yeah. Nick's all I don't know. So Chin's fucking someone, and I'm watching.
Nick's all a little lost here.
So I get married, and Chin comes over every Monday and fucks my chick.
Chin is naked jerking off, and I'm watching him?
All right.
So now, Nick, we're saying if you guys are both going after the same woman,
could you maintain your friendship?
And Chin gets the chick.
Would you be able to still be his friend?
You're really into this girl.
Maybe you took her out on one date.
But there's no history there.
One swoops in.
There's no history there.
No, no, I'm not saying like.
It's not like a high school sweetheart.
I think so.
Yeah, we'd be cool.
If it's one.
If it's like we just met a girl.
Ooh, I don't think so.
I don't like their answer.
No, if I was dating her.
Because they don't figure it out.
No, because we're all thinking about.
You're thinking about like, now it would be different if Chin is like,
I was with this girl for two years.
Or even two months or two weeks.
And he wouldn't bother me.
He's so pure of heart.
I know he wouldn't be doing it just to be a dick.
I wouldn't do it to him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
He's just trying to bust nuts.
I still want to know.
I want to be in Nick's head
and hear what the translation was.
And he was trying to Google something, too.
Like, okay, I guess you're watching your friend fuck, I guess.
Is there TikToks about this?
She's going to fuck my sister?
I'll watch.
And I have to be there?
Yeah, I'll watch that.
He does have a cute sister, though.
Didn't I meet her once at the airport or
something? Yeah. She does Clonics, right?
Aren't you twins? Uh, no.
We just look pretty similar. And Nick's like,
okay. So Nick wants to fuck
Finn wants to fuck us?
Yeah, I don't think...
I think that that's probably a female thing to be like.
Well, because females are jealous of each other, dude.
I'm just asking. I wonder if we have a bunch
of our seven female fans. Can you guys send in what you other, dude. I'm just asking. I wonder if we have a bunch of our seven female fans.
Can you guys send in what you think of that?
I'm just curious.
I think you're taking a special type of chick.
Well, take your wives.
Your wives.
My Kristen wouldn't care.
Really?
Yeah, she wouldn't care.
If she really liked a guy, yeah, 100%.
Well, yeah, yeah.
Actually, what I know of her, she wouldn't care.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yours might. Mexicans are different. Yeah, yeah. Yours actually, what I know of her, she wouldn't get it. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yours might.
Mexicans are different.
Yeah, yeah.
Yours will catch a case.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yours will catch a case.
She'll be on first 48.
Rachel is super jealous of stuff.
Yeah.
Got it.
She thinks I spend too much time with you guys.
I love this.
What's this?
This senator threatened the Teamsters president.
But hold on real quick.
A little background.
So you know this senator fought MMA.
He has professional fights.
This guy?
The guy that he threatened for the Teamsters is like a well-known mafia tough dude.
Okay.
So they're talking shit to each other.
And apparently that Teamster was like, I'd whoop his ass.
This dude on the floor is like, you want to do something?
And the guy's like, yeah.
He's like, stand the fuck up then.
And then he goes at him. The senator?
Yeah, get ready. Now, let's talk about
Mr. O'Brien himself, his behavior.
He's from Oklahoma, clearly.
Him and I kind of had a back and forth.
I appreciate your demeanor today. It's quite different.
But after you left here, you got
pretty excited about the keyboard. In fact,
you tweeted
at me. He's jacked,ed in one, two, three, four,
five times. And let me read what the last one said. Oh, this guy's so condescending.
The tough guy act and these Senate hearings, you know where to find me any place, any time cowboy.
Sir, this is a time. This is a place. You want to run your mouth, we can be
two consenting adults.
Okay, that's fine. Perfect.
You want to do it now? I'd love to do it right now.
Well, stand your butt up then.
Oh, stop it.
No, no, sit down.
Sit down.
You're a United States Senator.
Sit down, please.
Can I respond? Oh, get it, Bernie!
This is a hearing.
And God knows the American
people have enough contempt
for Congress. Let's not make it worse.
I don't like you
because you just described yourself.
Hold it.
You have the mic. You have time. I'll kick both your asses.
And let's do this because I did challenge you
and I accepted your challenge
and you went quiet.
No, I didn't go quiet.
You challenged me to a cage match
acting like a 12-year-old.
Excuse me.
I will say exactly...
Senator Mullen, I have the mic.
You have questions on any economic issues,
anything, go for it.
Bro, that's crazy.
That Oklahoma dude would beat the shit out of me.
You can tell.
He grew up in Oklahoma wrestling all his life.
I'm Bernie Sanders in this fucking room.
Brendan!
Brendan!
So hold on.
Imagine if they fought there in front of that fucking...
I'd vote for him.
I'd vote for that guy right now.
Well, you'd vote for him anyway.
But because of how he stood up.
Here's my issue.
And he's in jail.
Here's my issue.
You don't do that.
No, no.
No, no, listen, listen.
Let me finish.
That ain't shit what that guy did.
Because if you're going to be like that,
you don't do it when you have the microphone
and you're there.
Yeah.
You know he's coming in the room.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You meet him at the door like, here he is hey buddy that's all for
show because he knows they're not gonna let him actually fight right there he's pretty down i get
i i do no way no way that it would be a laugh he has a background to get there who's gonna stop
him if then then why didn't he just jump over the thing and go well he's not crazy yeah that's yeah
i don't know i'm that's my point if he was crazy he would have, he's not crazy. Yeah, I don't know. That's my point.
If he was crazy,
he would have done that.
He's not crazy,
but I believe that
that guy would have fought him.
100%.
If no one stopped him,
if they were like,
sit down and be like, cool.
But they were going to stop him
and he knows that.
Right, right, right.
I understand what you're saying.
He was inciting it.
Guys, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
That was completely
unacceptable behavior.
No, I agree.
I agree, I agree, I agree.
And it's all like, that felt like WWE.
I agree.
Fucking like, you know.
No, I agree.
It wasn't.
Here's what The Rock is cooking type of shit.
I would like to see him fight.
Yeah, but then go to the-
Because how many of these politicians talk all this shit, right?
And keyboard wars talk all this shit.
And then one dude's like, cool, man.
You talk all this shit with all these people.
Here I am.
Let's fight.
Oh, no.
Come on, man. We're not going to do that here. He could have done that in the all these people. Here I am. Let's fight. Oh, no. Come on, man.
We're not going to do that here.
He could have done that in the hallway.
But the guy was ready.
The other guy said he was down, too.
He was a big guy, too.
Big guy.
They both could have done it in the hallway.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
Hey, hey, hey.
I got the tweets you were saying.
I'm right here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, in front of the TV.
In front of Bernie Sanders sitting right here.
Sorry, dude.
That's crazy.
Hey, look at me.
I'm not impressed.
Yeah.
Yeah, no. I get it. I don't think it's- Fight him, Eric. I'm not going to fight him. Let me know how it Sorry, dude. That's crazy. Hey, look at me. I'm not impressed. Yeah. Yeah, no, I get it.
I don't think it's...
Fight him, Eric.
I'm not going to fight him.
Let me know how it goes for you.
Go over there.
I would never do that.
No, you're not.
Real excited about the keyboard, Eric.
You want to fuck with shit.
I don't even want to hear you.
Mind your business over there.
your business over there.
Another politician,
George Santos,
reportedly used campaign funds for OnlyFans.
Oh my God.
That makes sense.
It could have been an accident.
This guy's a nightmare.
An accident?
What do you mean?
Yeah, he was just on his account.
He put the wrong...
You know how the credit card
information comes up automatically
on your computer?
Yeah.
And it's like,
oh no.
Hold on, hold on.
Also, 36 bucks.
Hold on.
I think she photoshopped this, but some OnlyFans girl quote tweeted it.
Oh, that's fake.
Yeah.
Another OnlyFans girl, she was like, I raided his dick.
Because evidently, that's a thing on OnlyFans.
Isn't he gay?
He seems a little foodie.
He has all the sugar in the tank.
But hold on.
Who?
Is it real, though?
Did they prove that?
Yeah, they proved it.
Okay.
That has 13 million views.
Reportedly.
That's crazy.
When you hear the words reportedly, it's like, okay, what's going on here?
Have you guys heard about this guy?
He just lies about everything.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He said he, for everybody thought he was Jewish, and he was like, no, I said I'm Jew-ish.
Oh!
You know why?
Because that kind of stuff works with people on the right.
You don't have to actually have facts.
But I'm just vibing.
Yeah.
He's vibing.
I'm just vibing.
He's vibing.
That's why you can just say whatever, and they'll be like, yeah, we got a vote for that guy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, the left doesn't do that.
No.
The left doesn't do that. Neither. The left doesn't do it.
Neither one of them do it.
No.
You saying?
Yeah, no, I'm not saying nothing.
I'm vibing too, man.
As long as the vibe's on the right, I'm vibing.
That's me the right vibe, though, you know?
Yeah, the right vibe.
I'm honestly not really, I don't really vibe too much.
Yeah, but when I hear that vibe, you leave.
You know what I mean?
It's not the vibe for you.
I like to be in the middle
of those two doors.
Yeah, I don't like
coke vibes though.
But that's why he does that though.
That guy.
Correct.
He lies about
and whatever.
He just lies about things
to get the seat.
To get the base
to like him.
You know?
That's what he does.
That's politicians one on one.
He just got caught.
But he's blatant.
No, they even called him out
and he's like,
what are you going to do about him?
He's blatant.
He's basically shaggy in the fucking political party.
Just like, it wasn't me.
But I saw you banging on the sofa.
No, it wasn't me.
For real.
It's just crazy.
They can't do nothing like that.
Did you guys see the dude that won the new leader of Argentina?
Yes.
Have you seen this guy?
This guy is fucking crazy looking.
He's wild.
What's the deal?
And he's just, you know what he did?
He just said, he looked over,
saw Trump's playbook, and was like,
I like that.
But times ten. I will do
that. So you see him, dude. He looks
like a crazy person. Well, bring him
up. And he was elected.
That's the real part, is he was elected.
People are like, yeah.
He looks like an old member from Kiss
or something. Is he vibing or what?
He is.
He is a vibe.
What kind of stuff is he saying, though?
Dude, people get sick of politics.
Like, fuck the establishment.
Fuck funding this.
It's basically less government.
Right.
Yeah, that's pretty much it.
Right, right.
He hates leftists and the culture wars.
Right, right.
He's got to fight back.
He's right wing?
Yeah, he's all the way.
Apparently far right.
Apparently.
They're calling him Argentinus Trump.
Got it. Can you not find him? Show a picture of him. He's him like Argentina's Trump. Got it.
Can you not find him?
He's even too Trump for Trump.
Can't you Google?
There's a specific video.
Oh, I got it.
Go to Argentina.com.
But you see the way he looks, though. It's crazy.
He's got this wild hair.
He looks like that guy from...
That's him?
Whoa. You can't define me as a surd. he looks like that guy from that's him whoa
shit leftist
wow
who's saying what
do I get two different facts coach Pero si pensás distinto te van a liquidar. Ese es el punto.
Es decir, vos al zurdo no le podés dar un milímetro
porque le das un milímetro
y lo tomas para destrozarte.
Es decir, vos no podés
negociar con el zurdo.
No se negocia.
No se negocia.
Con esa mierda no se negocia
porque te van a llevar puesto.
Si tienen un golpeador
que caga trompadas a la mujer,
digamos, si es de ellos,
se pone el pañuelito verde y grita todo el tiempo contra el neoliberalismo, lo ocultan. a hitman who shits women's asses, if it's one of them, he puts on his green shirt
and screams all the time
against neoliberalism,
they hide it.
You know what I mean?
If there's someone
who harassed another journalist,
they hide it.
I mean, all of them
hide it.
All those aberrations
are hidden.
See her face?
She just goes like this.
Okay.
No, she just was kind of like,
ugh, your passion.
This guy's like Austin Powers.
His hair is a mess.
He's Austin Powers.
Trump.
Trump's hair was a mess.
You know what I mean?
Like this guy's just the more version of,
that's hilarious.
I was going to say,
he's Trump on steroids.
Afuera.
Ministerio de Cultura.
Afuera.
Ministerio de Ambiente y Desarrollo Sostenible.
Afuera.
This is like a card commercial.
We're slashing prices.
He was cyber.
That was great.
You see what he did?
Because the tape wouldn't come off.
He goes, even if you resist.
Ministry of Education.
Indoctrination.
Out.
He's entertaining.
So what can you do that if you're going to?
So what would you say you do then?
Once you get rid of all of them, what are you going to do the next three years and 11 months?
But this is the thing, though, that the left establishment doesn't realize that they are creating a lane for someone like that with that voice.
100%.
To win.
Yeah.
Because of all the nonsense.
People are on board with it.
That's how insane it is.
Oh, shit.
Look how crazy he looks.
Wow.
And the guy from Argentina, too.
Whoa, look at that guy.
Thank you.
Yeah, Tucker Carlson's hair is a little crazy, too, isn't it? But look at that guy. Can you. Yeah, Tucker Carlson's hair is a little crazy too, isn't it?
But look at that guy.
Can I tell you something about Tucker Carlson?
I'm so glad he got away from Fox News.
And now he's like, he just like became a person.
Oh.
You know?
Yeah, I never watched him either way.
I don't know.
Oh, he's like, I think that you listen to him now.
He could run for president.
And I just feel like I go, okay you're just trying to well yeah yeah
you're just trying to get out
you know
and he said that
that agenda is not there anymore
and all that stuff
it's more
he's just coming up
hey I think this is wrong
and I want to talk about this
you know
he was hilarious on Theo's podcast
it was interesting for them
to be on
for him to get him like that
the things that they were talking about
I was like
Jesus only Theo could talk
with somebody about this
what
just wow shit.
That's the beauty of podcasting, man.
You get somebody that you think
you have them in a box of who they are, what
they should or should not talk about. Then they get
on a podcast and all of a sudden they're just like
loosening up. Like, yeah,
I wouldn't fuck a
hooker or whatever. However they talk,
you just go, oh, this person's a person.
So, anyways. Is that it, you just go, oh, this person's a person. You know? So, anyways.
Is that it, Nick?
We got one more.
We're on our crew.
I got a quick question,
but first, Eric,
when you come into
Fort Wayne, Indiana, man,
I met Brendan and Brian
when they came through.
And if you can't find
an Airbnb and shit,
fuck, come over.
We'll fucking game it up, man.
I got a flight simulator
and everything, dog.
But that's what
my question's about. I live with my my fiance and what's up with the women always why is the house
got to be clean to have guests over you know i ask her yo uh buddy's coming over or hey dad
stopped my dad's stopping by and they go oh i don't think so the house ain't clean because
two shirts are on the floor why do women not like the house to look lived in?
Why do they like it looking vacant?
Let me know.
I don't know, man.
Rachel's like that.
Bitches be wiling, bro.
Kristen's like that, too.
All women are like, it's presentation.
It represents your household.
There's a funny Instagram video about this guy.
It's like, what women think guests do when they come over.
And the guy puts on gloves. And he's doing this. He opens the toilet and he puts his head in. Funny Instagram video about this guy. It's like what women think guests do when they come over.
And the guy like puts on gloves.
And he's like doing this.
He opens the toilet and he puts his head in.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I don't know.
It's crazy. It reminded me of Gavin Newsom.
Anytime you put on an event, by definition, you know, you have people over your house.
You're going to clean up the house.
You have 21 world leaders.
You've got tens of thousands of people coming from all around the globe.
What an opportunity to showcase the world's most extraordinary place.
And everybody's like, you should keep the house clean all the time.
Talking about San Francisco, clean out the homeless for the Chinese.
He's talking about San Francisco?
Yeah.
He sent them down here.
Did you not see this, Chris?
No.
They cleaned it up for like three days because the Chinese dictator was coming.
And?
All the homeless people were gone in days. And now they're back. And now they're back. Now they're back, right? Yeah. They cleaned it up for like three days because the Chinese dictator was coming. And? All the homeless people were gone in days.
And now they're back.
Now they're back. Yeah, they just went to other neighborhoods.
They just like hit them.
North Korea does the same thing.
Now it does. It used to be a beautiful city.
Not really, bro. Oh, it used to be my favorite.
Dude, not me, man.
Every time you go there, it was like some crazy shit going on.
Every time, dude, I've seen
the craziest shit in San Francisco. And bro, I haven't been there in i could do i've seen the craziest shit in san francisco and bro i haven't been there in six years i've seen the craziest shit it's great
it's ruined now it's a it was never great fuck san francisco
okay i don't know i like that energy i do like it we're vibing it's too bad it's also too woke
bro it's like get the fuck out of here dude it we're vibing. Dude, it's just like, and you know what?
Here's something about San Francisco nobody ever talks about.
It's always freezing there.
It doesn't matter if it's August or fucking January.
It is chilly.
It's always freezing.
Go fuck yourself, dude.
Windy ass roads, make it straight.
The windy and then also.
I'm going to take too long to get someplace?
They don't want things being too straight there.
Fisherman's Wharf, a little clam chowder.
It's corny.
I got chin.
San Francisco's corny.
Shut it down.
Shut it down.
We're done.
I'll tell you what's not corny.
Chicago, December 8th and 9th.
I'll be at Chicago trying all the pizza in Chicago, December 8th and 9th.
I'll tell you what's not corny.
Sacramento, bro.
I'm going to be in Sacramento.
I love Sactown.
I'm going to be in Sactown in January.
I'm going to be in Phoenix. Mike Bibby's opening for you. No to be in Sactown in January. I'm going to be in Phoenix.
Mike Bibby's opening for you.
No, I'm going to be in Phoenix.
I'm going to be in Albuquerque.
I'm going to be in different places.
Go to chrisley.com.
I'm going to be in Philadelphia coming up soon here.
Get your tickets at chrisley.com.
December 1st, Grand Comedy Club in Escondido.
Made up a place.
I didn't.
And then also, I'm not doing New
Years, but I'm doing two days before
New Year's, a Friday and Saturday
in Santa Ana,
New Mexico, Casino.
New Year's Eve, Eve, Eve.
Yeah, New Year's Eve, Eve.
Yeah. And
Eve.
Alright kids, love you. Thanks for tuning in. Thank you.