The Golden Hour - Meesa Not Like That | The Golden Hour #54 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia
Episode Date: November 10, 2023The guys talk about Chris' body shaving rumors, Brendan's new mustache, hidden messages in Disney movies, a debate club with a coroner, all new KATS In The Wild and much more! DraftKings - Download ...the DraftKings Sportsbook app NOW and use code: GOLDEN Get the full episode plus two extra episodes every month at https://patreon.com/thegoldenhourpodcast
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Discussion (0)
We're friends that laugh, we're friends that shout
Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about
But that won't stop us
Nothing can stop us
Cause I can show you used to love
Just rebranded enough
It's stronger, better, bigger power
Cause it is the Golden Hour
It's the Golden Hour
Yeah, I don't know.
I saw something on Twitter the other day that was like...
I don't go on Twitter.
Twitter is insane, though.
I went on it the other day and I looked at... I actually just go on Twitter. Twitter is insane, though. I went on it the other day, and I looked at – I actually just clicked on Twitter,
and the first thing that popped up was a thing about Hitler,
and people were talking about how great he was.
Your algorithm is crazy.
I don't have an algorithm.
I don't even go on there.
I don't know if that's the first thing.
Yeah, but I don't even go on there.
So when you go on, you go, this guy feels like Hitler.
You might be into this.
This guy's a Hitler guy.
Hey, man, listen.
No, and so many people were like, yeah, he was misunderstood and this and that.
I'm just like, ooh.
No, I stay off it.
Yeah, bro.
Because they'll show the Palestine, all that.
When they show the kids.
No, no, no.
I know.
People tagging me and shit on it.
I only use Instagram.
You know what I mean?
I post to TikTok, but I don't look at TikTok.
But Instagram is the only thing I look at.
And Instagram, people were like tagging me in pictures of like dead, you know, the dead.
And I'm just like, I don't want to see.
For like Halloween or?
No, no.
We started this really sad.
Yeah, we did.
It started with his business plan to Rogan.
I know.
Eric ruined it.
Me?
And now he's texting.
Me?
Eric ruined it.
Yeah, I'm hitting up Rogan right now.
Look, you're making people write about shop.
Listen, my special is out.
Crystalia.com.
Grow or die.
It's only available at crystalia.com
I'm proud of it
go check it out
and let's go
what do you got
best thing you've done buddy
thanks dude
thanks
yeah it is
it is
artistically it's the best thing I've done
is it
I'm proud of it
yeah
okay good
you got your new haircut
after it too
no
you know what it is
it's grown out now
so it's back to like, you know.
It's getting there.
It's helmet-y again, which is what he needs.
You know what I'm saying?
Guys, you know, I talk about how I'm proud, and you just knocked me down immediately.
No, no, we are so proud of you.
I think the clips I've seen, it's fantastic.
You need to put it out there.
I think more people need to, like, when you deal with something that you've dealt with
and to come address it the way you've addressed it, I think's great more people need to do that you're doing i want 10
percent i'm sorry thank you so it's like thank you you know what i mean so i think that that is great
yeah now put that aside we could compartmentalize yeah you did a great thing and your hair is
terrible you know what i'm saying like a tv dinner, I can do both. So like the Salisbury.
I'm multitasking.
The Salisbury steak is your special.
But in like the little vegetable area, that's your haircut.
You're a fucking dick.
Hold on a second.
It just looks better when it's longer.
No, I don't.
It's starting to get there though.
I'm sorry.
I don't agree.
Maybe a little bit longer than this, but you got to.
Here's the thing.
When you get a haircut, you don't want to get it exactly how you want it.
You want to get it a little bit before how you want it so it grows into how you want it.
But they took a little too much.
So you acknowledge that.
It wasn't tip-top shape.
But no, not terrible, dude.
The glow up.
Also, look at me.
Don't listen to me.
Yeah.
You look crazy.
I'm crazy.
You look crazy. I'm crazy, bro. Although I will say, you look crazy. I'm crazy. You look crazy.
I'm crazy, bro.
Although I will say, you look younger.
You look younger.
That's what my son said.
You know what?
Because you had a little...
Maybe.
You had a little...
He had gray.
So gray.
Yeah, he was getting gray.
So gray.
But that's what are you, 40 now?
40.
That's when it happens.
40.
40, bro.
You're welcome.
But that's when it happens.
Thanks, Doug.
You're welcome to old.
Yeah.
What's 50 like, guys?
I don't know.
I'm 43, bro. You're 50. No. Doug. Welcome to old. Yeah. What's 50 like, guys? I don't know. I'm 43, bro.
You're 50.
No.
We're close in age?
Yeah.
Oh, weird.
Doesn't look like it with that Santa Claus neck.
Yeah, but that's when it...
Well, when he's 43.
That's when it happens.
In your early 40s is when everything changes, I think.
It's when your eyesight starts to go.
It's when, you know, it's when your beard starts to...
But, like, it's so gray on your neck. Is it really starts to. But it's so gray on your neck.
Is it really?
Yeah.
Really?
It's just on your neck.
It makes no sense.
It's like you have on a chin strap.
Well, no.
It hasn't gone here really yet.
Everything's just weird.
Do you dye your mustache?
No.
That's crazy how dark that is.
Compared to you having some gray.
I don't really have gray. But as it keeps going,
but if I trim it,
so it starts off, and then it gets gray.
So if it gets longer,
it gets gray gray. It actually
doesn't make any sense. No. It doesn't make any
sense to have how my hair is.
It'd be sort of dark
with a little bit of gray, and then it's
like, oh, a dark mustache, and then a gray.
It's like, what the fuck? Just be
whatever it is. Pick a color.
Pick a lane, hair.
Dude, I...
And don't be talking about my balls.
I won't.
Dude...
So Eric's balls. Let's go.
Yeah,
people
say two things about me a lot. They say
Chris Lee dyes his hair, okay,
and Chris Lee shaves his body.
And I do not.
I say that. You say what?
I'm the one on Instagram saying you dye your hair.
No, people say a lot of things
about me, but
for years people have been saying
I dye my hair and I shave my body
And they're right
I have never once
Dude when did you get a chest piece
I know I want to ask that question too
Hey
Who are you
Grow or die
You're ridiculous
Hey it's different now
Dude and that's just the beginning
Wait till you see final form
You look like a prospect in the Hells Angels. I look great, bro. And here's the thing. I know
I am wearing my medium-sized underwear. That's too small. Dude, what that dick do daddy, bro?
That thing is all bunched up. I'm proud of you, man. I bunched it up. I'm proud of you. And you
know what? You know what? I did the video and here's the thing. Do you have a scrunchie on it?
No, no, no. You know how my shit goes, right?
That thing's all relaxed.
My shit goes crazy.
You know what I like in the video?
It's relaxed.
My shit is so relaxed right there.
But we can't talk about my balls?
What is happening right now?
Let's put it this way, dude.
You put my penis next to your balls.
We talk about a party.
This is how we do it. balls we talk about a party so yeah dude I got a chess piece it's not done yet
dude and I'll tell you what man my balls and my dick were so bunched up and and
and super relaxed and I did the video and I didn't really like the way it
looked but I go like this you know what that's kind of a funny video and I didn't really like the way it looked, but I go like this, you know what? That's kind of a funny video.
Should I post it?
And my sweetheart goes, post it.
And I say, all right.
And now people are saying two different things.
They say, what they don't get is, dude,
see, here's the thing.
When you're large and in charge
and the shit's scrunched up,
that's exactly how it looks.
Yes.
People don't get that that's how it looks.
So some people are like, oh oh you're all balls and it's
like hmm am i or am i large and in charge and scrunched up yes yeah and i understand that
because i also have a big listen man and those people are exposing themselves yes when they say
oh you're all balls you're exposing yourself as you you are not large and in charge and bunched
up okay we call it big dig in which is like the name of chris's are not large and in charge and bunched up. We call it big dick energy.
Which is like the name of Chris's new book.
Large and in charge and bunched up.
And bunched up.
That's a good special name.
On the cover flap, on the ink cover flap,
is a gray and white photo of my dick and balls.
No, but you have to open the flap.
That's the first thing I noticed was that dick.
On that video, I was like, what that dick do, daddy?
I tell you, you're not going to be able to see this unless you're following his wife,
but there was a stupid video
of Chris
on the
bathroom sink.
Oh, right. Oh, she posted that
on the story, I think.
He's on the bathroom sink.
Like, on it.
Just looking in the mirror.
The mirror's here here and he's like
on it like a gargoyle yeah yeah yeah hell yeah you know cutting it's like a crazy person flexible
yeah you're crazy can i can i be honest yeah sure i used just for men last night on my on my mustache
I knew it I'm like Columbo in here
One more thing, Shob
One more thing
You couldn't hold it in
That's great
I appreciate you
I love that honesty
I look like Tom Selleck
Why did you do it?
It was so great.
Yeah, I get it.
And my girl, when I shaved it, she went, oh, no.
And I was like, what?
I was like, oh, because the gray.
She's like, no, I hate the mustache.
I was like, all right, cool.
So then I was like, I got it.
It's so great.
I do something.
She was like, I went on Uber Eats and was like Uber Eats
and then I looked up Just For Men
and then I asked my girl
I go hey and she goes what are you doing
I was like I'm going to order Just For Men I'm going to try and figure this out
and then it was
jet black or
like natural black
and I was like I'm going to go natural black
we don't want it to look too dark
thank god you did that
could it get any darker?
Am I Lionel Richie?
No, no.
When I used to do that.
It would be like that manta black.
What was that fucking shit?
What do they call it?
The manta black where it's like you can't really see it.
It'd be so black.
No, you should have got brown.
Am I Steve Harvey?
You get dark brown.
That's what you should have got.
It looks okay.
No, no, no.
I'm telling you.
I would do dark brown.
And it would, because when you get black, it just looks ridiculous.
Yeah, like you're a Native American.
I'm Ned Flanders.
Dude, just do your eyebrows too, and then it's probably okay.
I don't know.
The whole thing is a nightmare.
You can't do that.
The whole thing is a nightmare.
Then you look like a crazy man.
I don't know.
I've never done it.
I want to do it.
Here's what I want to do.
You've never used Just For Men?
I've never dyed my hair, period.
It burns.
Does it?
It burns.
I want to...
You kept it on too long.
Yeah.
I want to dye my hair, period. It burns. Does it? It burns. I want to. You kept it on too long. Yeah. I want to dye my hair for the first time ever gray.
Dude, I can't wait to get a little bit of silver.
Yeah, dude.
Like an Anson Cooper vibe?
He wants to look like a sorcerer.
Imagine me all silver and bunched up large and in charge.
Gann cock.
With that shit, forget it.
I will say, hold on.
I want to clear something up.
I have actually shaved my body.
When I have to get a tattoo, you have to shave it.
Yeah.
That's the only time.
But they do it for you.
And I did a movie once where I played.
Yeah, I've never done it.
Yeah, I've never done it.
They just come out.
Bill already looks like what you're trying to look like.
You got to get your own look.
Can't wait.
All he needs is a staff.
Then he can just be like, you know,
you shall not pass.
Yeah, dude.
I got the sword, though.
No one's ever used just for men, though?
I have.
Back in the day when I was – but then I just stopped.
I was like, what am I doing?
My dad –
Because you know why this is a thing?
You have to maintain.
So when you're this hairy, you could do it.
Then I would just be like, whatever, and then it would just start to grow out.
Then it would be like, oh, so you do – and then I just stopped doing it.
But also for an actor, I get it.
Look at that.
That's hilarious.
Hello.
Say you.
How could you be doing the wrong arms?
Say me.
The other way.
How could you be doing the wrong arms?
It's right there.
Say whatever.
Here we go.
Naturally.
So hold on a second.
That's great. I don't think it looks bad. Just, I don't know. Maybe I have to sit with hold on a second. That's great.
I don't think it looks bad.
Just,
I don't know.
Maybe I have to sit with it for a while.
Yeah.
It doesn't look bad.
It just looks too dark.
It's out of place.
I knew something was up.
Interesting.
It's like Mr. Potato Head
just clicked it on.
One more thing.
Yeah.
One more thing,
I'm sorry.
I made a mistake here.
I'll be letting myself out.
One more thing.
You know, before I go.
Yeah, the Uber Eats driver dropped it off.
He's like, here, bitch.
Imagine that Uber Eats guy.
Let's say he even knows who it is because he sees the name.
He has to go into the store, go to the aisle, find the dark.
Then he's embarrassed because people are looking at him.
He got Just For Men and Twizzlers.
It's clearly me.
That's hilarious.
Did you get the Twizzlers to make yourself feel good?
You were like...
It's like when you're going to buy tampons for your wife
for no reason. Eggs! Milk!
Oh no, I got those.
Shumper cables.
I got those because it's a Tuesday night.
No, dude.
The guy, if he was Brendan Schaub on the Postmates thing,
he's probably like, he probably wants a light brown or dark brown.
I'll get him the black.
You sure you want jet black?
That's what it's called, Vantablack.
You sure you want Darth Vader black?
I'm like, yeah, give me that shit.
Yeah.
Well, you know what?
You live and you learn, man.
But I'm glad I got that off my chest.
Why didn't she like the mustache?
You've always had a mustache.
But not just a mustache.
Oh, she doesn't like just a mustache.
Well, let's take a break, huh?
Can we take a break?
Because listen, this Saturday, November 11th, UFC 295 is going down.
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That is a weird thing once you get rid of the beard. It's November. It's a whole different thing. It's November, though. Right you get rid of the beard, it's a whole different thing.
It's Movember, though.
Right.
It's Movember.
Oh, it is November, huh?
Yeah.
Don't say Movember.
It's Movember.
What is Movember?
Mustache?
M-O?
Yeah.
Mustache.
Yep, mustache.
And what's that for?
You do it to fight the liberals.
Is it?
Is that right, Nick?
No, it's for everything.
Everything, men's health health are you vibing mental
i'm vibing that's just a vibe the mustache is a vibe i don't know if that's what it's for
it's money laundering yeah it's like valentine's day for idiots you know what i mean it's actually
a good thing 20 years ago it started yeah it's for awareness of men's health issues such as oversized dick november i think so
right yeah i don't do that well the men yeah well the men don't right the men don't i know
yeah uh yeah that's what that is too no nut november who who invented that remember do people
really do the benefits of that chin go remember it, it's called a sex transmutation or something.
Something like that.
It's like if you don't nut, all that energy goes into positive things.
Fake news.
It's fake news.
I'm just saying.
Fighters back in the day used to not have sex during camp.
I know.
I know.
And that's fake news.
Your testosterone actually lowers.
No, it's not testosterone.
It's just saying like it's-
Hey, hey.
I'm just telling you.
Literature says it actually makes you want to-
You're more motivated to be successful in other areas. I understand that, but I'm just telling you, literature says it actually makes you more motivated to be successful in other areas.
I understand that, but I'm just wired to buy electric.
I got to come.
Yeah, I got to come myself.
One weekend, I'm like, I got to bust.
Yeah, me too, bro.
That's how I start my morning.
We know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's how I start my mornings, you know?
Oh, man.
And I'm off and
running baby some people do coffee i like to bust and go well that's is that a place you can go
coming bust and go coming goes on um let me get a complete drainage so stupid uh welcome to
busting go what are you going to have? A complete...
I'll get a mouth.
Come and go, yeah.
When you're driving across the stage, you'll see
a bunch of come and goes.
Well, that's like
you came up... Whoever came up with that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. They know what's going on.
They were perving from jump.
And we'll call it...
Like those Disney... secret Disney things.
They know what they're doing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
They probably can't do that anymore
in the movies
because like Disney movies,
they would get found out immediately.
Because of social media.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right.
But I also heard that some bulls,
is it real?
I mean, one of the things
that they had a boner,
the wizard had a boner,
it was so obvious.
I don't know what it was.
And then the Little Mermaid original VHS had that big gold dick in it.
What?
Really?
The original cover of Little Mermaid has this gold dick on the thing.
No.
Yeah.
Look it up.
Yeah.
Where's the gold dick?
And then there it is.
No.
If that ain't a dick, then I don't know dicks.
Zoom in a little bit.
Go to the right.
Yeah.
No, it's the one right there.
You don't see the dick?
It sure looks like a dick.
Oh, wow. Wow. Now that's all up for debate. There's a couple of dicks. Well, that's all up for debate because it could just be, you know. right yeah no it's the one right there you don't see the dick sure looks like a dick oh wow that
wow that's all there's a couple of dicks well that's all up for debate because it could just
be you know no no that's a dick i mean the shape i mean it looks identical to mine but
who knows yours curves so you dye your dick too no no no no that stays frosty um there's that one
then the liking one where the line lays down and the leaves pop up.
It smells like sex.
Oh, right, right.
That definitely says sex, yeah.
I don't know if that one's real, though.
Yeah, I don't know if that one's real.
Oh, really?
Because also, who's this for?
What's that?
Like, what kid's seeing that?
That's what it's supposed to be.
But that's for adults.
No, no, no.
No, there's another one where smoke comes up and it says sex yeah i've never been able to see the lion king one
oh really maybe it's not lion king then huh oh that's stupid look at that that's um which one
but look at the right there yeah click on oh then the most obvious one is in aladdin when
the genie fucks aladdin remember that no i think you were watching
a different website wait no yeah no so the will smith one oh dude you know what i love is the uh
the you know when you ever like if you watch porn and then you see like on the side it's like the
family guy porn or the simpson porn my favorite who the fuck those are his favorite those are my
favorite dude really i've never seen them.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, dude. They're like ads, though.
It's like, what?
Who the fuck?
Oh, wow.
For Patreon, we can look at it.
Wow.
Look at Lois.
Lois can get it.
How about the one guy just jacking off the family guy?
Ew, dude.
That's the,
what do you fucking,
Ariel,
what do you call it?
Little Mermaid fucking.
Oh, it's similar.
Took you too long
to get out, right?
Look at that one.
Hey, you know how much
animation this takes
for someone to pull off?
I don't get, man.
There's some weirdos
out there, dude.
Actually, I don't think so.
I think with like,
you know,
these new apps and AI.
Now, but this shit's been around. Yeah, that's apps and AI. Now? But this shit's been around.
Yeah, that's...
Someone's drawing that shit.
Like Steamboat Mickey.
Mr. Magoo porn and shit.
Steamboat Mickey.
That shit takes time, man.
You'll be a real creep.
That's good.
Good timing for...
Hey, we're getting crunk in here. Good timing for We getting crying here
What's up you want to die
I got some energy
So about her huh
Is it the braids
I like her braids
Alright let's see what she's got
What's up guys
Hey Eric, Brendan, Chris
I have a debate club for you guys.
I'm a forensic autopsy technician in Memphis, Tennessee.
And I was wondering, is it okay if I lie to people about what I do?
People, you know, they ask me, oh, what you do?
And sometimes I lie and say I'm a nurse.
I don't think they're buying that either.
I work at the medical examiner's
office they think oh csi csi what do you do what's the craziest case you ever seen
like when i was pregnant and my water was breaking and the nurse and the anesthesiologist and the
doctors always trying to talk to me about my job i'm about to push a baby out my vagina. I don't want to talk about my job right now.
Sure.
Debate Club, is it okay to lie about
what you do?
Do you think that remote control takes
double D batteries?
I almost backhanded you.
No, I'm just curious about her TV.
You know what I like about this, knowing this, is like, sometimes
when you watch a show like CSI
and those kind of things
you think
oh you know
you look at the
the person
you're like
they're not cute like that
it's good to know
that there's like a
you know
she's in there
looking at dead bodies
you know
it's crazy
it must be hard
for her
when the cops come in
she's got to move
her titties out of the way
as you guys can see
oh I'm so sorry
she's like
I found the cause of death
she's like
I found the cause of death
suffocation and the guy's like, I found the cause of death. She's like, I found the cause of death, suffocation.
And the guy's like, yeah, go figure.
The day before they got here?
One more thing.
If she doesn't want to talk about it, I get that.
Because I get that.
That's one of those things when you hear that, you want to go, ooh, tell us about it.
It's like a comment.
Somebody says, tell me a joke.
That would be the same kind of thing.
But do you think they're like, you're not a CSI.
You're not a nurse.
If they're a misogynistic idiot, they would say, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, because no one's staring at her big, giant tits.
No one's assuming that.
I think that.
The big, giant tits are just a bonus.
Or being a CSI agent is a bonus.
Which one is it?
Well, it's cool that she's got a dope kind of job.
I mean, that's like, I mean, like that's, that's, could you imagine bro?
Yeah, I can.
What?
Hell yeah, I could do it, dude.
I'm not talking about fucking her, dude.
I'm sorry.
You're talking about solving cases?
I'm talking about being, looking at dead bodies and stuff.
You could imagine that. No, I'd struggle looking at dead bodies and stuff. You can imagine that.
No, I'd struggle with the dead bodies.
I'd be down for like
the crime scene.
I could do the bodies.
It's not the bodies so much as what happened with this body.
But she's talking about she's in the place
where they bring the body and she finds out how they died.
No, is that what she is?
Is she in the lab?
No, she's in with the bodies. Where she's like testing the DNA she is? Is she in the lab? No, no, she's with the bodies.
Well, she's like testing the DNA and stuff.
She's with the bodies.
Is she?
That'd be a dope job.
Whatever it is.
It'd be sad and dark.
God bless.
But yeah, that's a no.
Yeah, just you could.
Well, I don't know.
Who does that person work for?
Like the county examiner or whatever,
the remora or whatever.
You guys ever lied to like drivers? They were like, what are you in town for? Every single time. You guys ever lie to drivers? What are you in town
for? Every single time.
You know what I do? If I'm with my
team or whoever's with
me, I go like this.
I'm out.
You won't talk.
I just don't want to get started.
I'm in the back of the Uber.
Every time.
Hey, you're up.
Hey, you're up.
They always go, what brought you in town?
I go, just business.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah? What do you do?
I know, but then you're fucked with the what do you do.
Sometimes.
Did I tell you guys about this Honda guy?
He had this sign that said E. Griffin.
And when I walked up to him, he was like, you ain't Eddie Griffin.
Oh, yeah, you did.
Yeah.
Oh, hell no.
Then for the rest of the ride, he's in the car like just going off.
FaceTiming his face.
Man, I was so looking forward to taking pictures with Eddie Griffin.
I was like, okay, thank you.
I haven't seen him yet to tell him that story.
Really?
I've never.
Oh, wait, no, I haven't seen him yet.
He's been around a hot second.
He's always on the road.
He's a straight road doggie.
God, that guy was huge, huh?
Remember the Michael Jackson impression that he would do?
I mean, that was way back.
I mean, Jesus Christ.
He's been around for a hot second.
That's Def Jam.
Yeah, yeah.
What's this, Nick?
Speaking of Eric and undercover brother,
someone saw him at a Halloween show.
Here we go, everybody.
Grateful Dead cover band.
Not the guy
I'm talking about.
Damn, that looked like
it was so many of these.
They just bombard me in my
DMs. Damn, that concert had
no energy. That was great, bro.
Wow, that's hysterical.
Look what's going on.
This is the audience.
The deadheads.
They're older now, man.
That guy was vibing out.
Wait, they've always been older.
But not now.
That is so it.
Like, is there any new
but also what you'd wear
is the best part
oh yeah
everything's spot on
I have that outfit
yeah
how funny would it be
if he was wearing that today
and it panned over
in a show to that
dude I would have pissed
in my pants
but are there any new
like young deadheads
like young fans
that rock out
sometimes those things
have resurgences
and shit
well I mean the guy's dead
so they're not...
The main guy, yeah.
But they're still doing it.
John Mayer?
Yeah, John Mayer.
I bet there's a lot of new dead fans.
That's so weird John Mayer does that.
That's so weird John Mayer does that.
That's how good of a guitarist he is.
Well, no, no, no.
Yeah, I understand, but he's just so big
to do that, too, is crazy.
Yeah, I agree.
I don't know.
No, he obviously loves it.
I'm saying, but when's the last John Mayer album?
I don't think he...
Well, it came out last year.
The 90s boom rock or whatever it is.
It was a good album.
I couldn't tell you one John Mayer song other than...
Wonderland?
The body is Wonderland.
I don't do that song.
Let's do it together.
He doesn't do duet.
The sob rock.
It was great.
I'm a fan. He doesn't do duet. The Sob Rock. It was great. Yeah.
Well, you know.
I'm a fan.
He's huge and he's great, you know.
But I'm just saying like.
I think he's so big.
He's just like, this is different.
Right, right, right, right.
You know, he does.
Like, at this point, he's like touring.
I think he's just interested in different things now.
You know, maybe he's not inspired to make music anymore.
Right, right, right.
Maybe he's so rich.
He's like, fuck this hustle.
But I mean, he's always like.
No, I understand. He's with Chappelle. He's like doing other things, right. But he's so rich. He's like, fuck this hustle. But I mean, he's always like, he's with Chappelle.
He's doing other things.
That's why he's doing that.
Sometimes he feels like a kind of guy
that's like, I'm not just going to make an album
to make money.
I got to be inspired.
I mean, he seems to be in that generation
of like old school, make an album.
These people now, man,
they're producing like 100 songs
and then they're like picking 12 for the album
and sending out, who's talking about this
It was like it's either usher or somebody was saying that this is what they do now
They they have all these like producers and stuff and then they make a hundred songs Wow
And then they like send out letters being like you're select your song was selected
Now you're gonna make the album and it's dead. There's no like
There's no like through line of album anymore. There's no like, oh, I made this album about this.
It's just like, let me make bangers.
Because no one's listening to the whole album.
They just want that one track.
You feel me?
I don't know if that's true considering like when you have like,
Drake puts out an album on Spotify or whatever.
Why was it cued?
He's had it ready since last year.
He's had it ready all time.
Since last week.
So I think that they listen to albums.
They have to put a certain amount of songs on to get qualified for something on Spotify.
Oh, yeah, dude.
That's cool, man.
Yeah.
Child support, list of boys.
That's good to know.
I'll forget that.
Well, it's all about streaming now. It's not about record yeah all the billboard records are about crazy is like a song if it
becomes popular on tiktok that's it you're done you're you're the man you you are a a fully
functional artist that can tour like it's like What the fuck did you just say to me?
No, I think that's fake news.
What's that?
Drake got that one.
Oh, I'm pissed, baby.
Drake has that one song now that's all over TikTok.
You know, it's like something about like Open Your Coochie or something.
It's a weird song about life.
Dude, my wife likes TikTok.
You know, occasionally she'd be really into Pokemon, but she'd be playing Pokemon like crazy, dude. about like open your coochie or something it's a weird song about like my wife likes tiktok you
know occasionally she'd be really into pokemon but she'd been playing pokemon like crazy dude
she's oh it's so funny you ever play that you don't you what's so funny right now his face
so so dude pokemon oh it's terrible but she's just like she'll be like
oh got it you know and is that where they was that like the rage where
the kids gotta follow like yeah that's what she does how old is she 31 30 but but she'll do it
she'll be no because you can throw out a scent in the game and the pokies will come to you so i got
a lot of pokies at my house and she's like who got one who got one and then and then so and then so
bro it's so funny because sometimes you have to battle you know and then just go like this is And she's like, ooh, got one. Ooh, got one. And then so. Holy fuck, dude.
Bro, it's so funny because sometimes she's like, we'll have to battle, you know.
And then I just go, like, this is the battle.
And it's so not fun.
It's just like this.
And she's like, oh, fuck, I lost.
And I'm like, babe, that's not fun.
And then, but last night I was in bed and I was about to fall asleep.
And I feel the bed just.
And I'm like, babe, are you battling?
And she's like, yeah.
Dude, it was so fun. At least she's into it, I guess.
Oh, yeah.
No.
Well, it'll last for however long it's going to last.
Yeah, Rachel plays these games.
Yeah, and then it goes on and on.
I'm like, what game are you playing?
And it's like a new game.
I'm like, what happened to the last game?
I got bored.
But, bro, it's so funny.
Was she playing Candy Crush?
No, it'll be like some weird...
Metal Gear Solid?
She likes this puzzle game.
Metal Gear Solid, dude.
I wish. Yeah, oh, dude. I wish.
Great game.
Yeah, oh, bro.
Great game.
She's just in bed
with her controller
with her phone,
but still on the phone
though.
Let me know.
The other day,
she said,
I think I'm going to go
for a drive
and get some pokies.
And she went for a drive.
Wait a minute.
Is she cheating on me?
I'll be right back, babe.
We need some pokies.
Come on, some pokies, babe.
Just lipstick all smeared.
Oh, cool.
He got pretty physical.
It would be like a...
There was a real one out there.
That would be like a bukkake, where it's just like, you know, all these pokie...
Bukkakemon.
Yeah.
Bukkakemon.
Boy, that's insane she's into that stuff, huh?
It's been about two, three weeks.
I keep waiting for it to just be over. They're all into something.
Don't act like your wife's not into something.
Ladies be into shit.
Ladies be into shit, man.
They really do.
No games. I wish she was.
She's into something. No games.
She got me into something. Game of life.
She's playing you like
a fool, bro. Yeah.
You're a fool, job.
I need a cheat code.
I don't know who's cheating on me.
Yeah, she is.
She said she was looking for a Charizard.
She was gone for seven hours.
Smelling like coconut.
She's cheating on me with a black man.
It's this dude right here
what y'all think of charizards what's up chris big fan man all right okay look i have a confession
look if how did look okay i say he i did an impression of him sounding like this
that might be racist it is or is. Or is it? Let's see.
Well, let's see.
Hi, guys.
Yo, yo, yo, fellas.
First of all.
Yeah, this is Maneza here.
No, you're right.
Pretty good.
You're right.
I'm in South Africa.
Oh!
I should have been more racist.
For you guys,
first of all,
I love the show.
Shout out to Eric.
Shout out to Brendan.
And shout out to Chris.
You guys, just make sure that my Fridays are always vibing
because we get episodes here on Friday.
He said vibing.
It's going viral, dude.
If you would have to go in one of these two continents to go and live forever, let's say you are banished in the USA, so they choose that you come to stay in Africa or Asia?
Which one would you choose and why?
He's saying would I rather live in Africa or Asia? Basically, yeah.
First of all, before you guys say anything,
it was just pretty lit, man. Singapore?
Yeah, but you could go to South Africa.
I'm about to say, Africa is a huge place.
So you're talking about, you got,
you don't want to live in Northern Africa. You don't want to go're talking about, you don't want to live in Northern Africa.
You want to go to Cape Town.
You don't want to go to Northern Africa.
I don't want to go to the Congo.
Although, I kind of would like to just check it out.
What, Northern Africa?
Yeah, to see if I got better, I could run shit.
Northern Africa is like, you understand, that's like the Middle East.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
ISIS is up there.
I like taking my shirt off, bro.
I'll tell you what, I would...
Look, I've been to Egypt.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, because you could pick Cape Town, South Africa, bro.
They sound like crazy.
So let's take it...
Let's make it more difficult.
Take out Cape Town.
Take out like fucking...
Fine, but Asia...
There's so many places in Asia that you could go to.
Yeah, Tokyo would be lit.
Japan.
I don't know.
Hong Kong.
Singapore.
You want to be the tallest person all day, every day?
North Korea.
Just walking around all day, every day.
You just...
Yeah.
Some Koreans are fucking big, dude.
You'd be surprised.
Yeah, but then they all move to the States
because they don't want to be there anymore either.
I'm too big.
Yeah.
I've got to go to...
No, because they don't want to be in the military.
They don't want to be forced to go into the military.
That's why they move to the States.
Oh, wow. You have to be in the military. I don't want to be forced to go into the military. That's why they moved to the States. Oh, wow.
You have to be in the military.
I'm looking for big ones.
They're like, you!
I didn't just go to the mall.
They go to the mall, and they look this way, and if they see a belly, they go, you!
Are you stupid?
Probably age all day, right?
So stupid.
Huh? You! Hey! Military! probably age all day right so stupid yeah you
hey
military
yeah
yeah
because Africa
they don't have any of that
you don't have to serve in
like northern Africa
like the Congo
dangerous
super dangerous
yeah
well which one
you picking
it's kind of easy, right?
It's not easy.
I could be in Tokyo.
Give my dick, Zach.
For five bucks.
I'd go to Africa.
There's a lot of places.
I think I might go to Africa.
Eric, you would?
Really?
Yeah.
Really?
I don't know.
What are the places in Asia?
Singapore is like Vegas on steroids.
I know, I know.
But then-
If you spit on the street, you're going to get everyone.
Korea smokes. You know what I mean? China? You're going to China? Where are you going? Bump in India. In Asia, I know. But then- If you spit on the street, you're going to get everyone's- Korea smokes.
You know what I mean?
China?
You're going to China?
Where are you going?
Bumpin' India.
In Asia, everyone bumps India.
How racist is he?
Everyone smokes, plays the slots.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm kidding.
No.
I don't know.
I don't know.
That's a good question.
I don't want to live in China.
They're very rude to me.
Well, this-
Oh, this is chin with gray I know this guy I know
yeah I don't know personally but this might help us make the decision okay you
guys
別に勝手にしてくれればいいかな日本人と連絡取れる間に
私の飛行機を準備してくれよ
俺が言ったよ
3つある?
何してるの?
2つあるよ
言ってるけど
あ、言ってるけどない
情に恋とかしなければいいじゃん
もしでもない
隠さなければ浮気じゃない
浮気するなら風俗に行けって言ったことあるもん
金払えばいいよって何? If you're going to cheat, don't cheat. As long as you don't have feelings.
This was put out by the tourism board.
Yeah.
I think guns are illegal in Japan, too.
Yeah, that's crazy.
Yeah, I'm telling you.
Okay, then it's a samurai sword.
Like this, just ready.
Japan's the move.
And the food.
Just a guy like this?
Yeah.
He's going to do some kung fu He's in the karate kid pose
Just ready
Man we're racist on this show
It's a kung fu too
That comes on after Miami Rice And the homeboy show Oh fuck dude Man we're racist on this show Yeah yeah It's a kung fu too Hey look dude
We can be racist against whites too
And that comes on after Miami Rice
And the homeboy show
We can be racist lately
Sherlock homie
Sherlock home
Sherlock home
Sherlock homie
This is how Chris was on the fucking
On the bathroom set
Gargoyle
Oh yeah
I feel comfortable
You know what they say though
That this is something that you were
Able to do
As a child
As a baby
And as a toddler
And then
At some point
You just kind of don't
You can't do it anymore
Unless you
Because you'd have no reason
To do it
Right
Right
Except for
You should always be able
To do this
Flexibility
Yeah and it's really
Is that uncomfortable for you
Not in the least bro
No not in the least
Because you have no ass
What do you got Nick That's not true It's in the car, bro. No, not in the least. Because you have no ass. What do you got, Nick?
That's not true.
It's in the car.
You guys know it's called the fob squat?
This?
Or Asian squat.
Right, I do know that, yeah.
Fob squat is a little more...
Oh, yeah, fob squat.
That might be a little racist.
Why is it an Asian squat?
Because that's how Asians usually squat.
Well, this is how you're supposed to poop, too.
Yeah, apparently.
Asians got it locked on the whole shitting thing.
You said fob squat?
But they know what's up
um filipino girls told me that oh okay yeah that means fresh off the boat yeah yeah oh yeah
that's right up there with the other uh but this this is totally comfortable and you can't do it
or can you i can do it yeah well it's not that comfortable though now i can fall asleep like this
Not that comfortable, though.
Now I can fall asleep like this.
Prove it.
Just like this.
Oh, my God.
In bed.
It's shaking.
My wife's still.
You battling, baby?
Baby, I'm sleeping.
Battling?
Stupid.
You battling?
Find your fucking Charizard.
And does she have to pay money to get other?
Oh, I don't know the answer to that question but the answer is yes
that's how those games my wife is a woman if there's money to spend she's finding it yeah
she finds a way yeah
what's up boys i have a king in her stinger for you uh leather jackets are they cool are they not
cool i personally think
they look sick in movies.
Ah, this guy.
I love this guy.
I'm going freaking
eight over.
Whatever.
I know the answer to this.
Yeah, leather jackets.
Are they cool?
Are they not cool?
Love to hear your guys' thoughts.
I know the answer to it.
Go ahead.
Give us the answer.
The answer is
if you have
leather jackets are cool.
If you have darker hair, you can wear a black or a brown leather jacket.
If you have blonde hair, you can only wear a brown leather jacket.
And you cannot wear a leather jacket if you are not either fit or fat.
In the middle, it's ridiculous, bro.
If you're kind
of chubby or something and you get
a leather jacket, bro,
no. You gotta either be fit
or mob boss level,
dude. You know what I mean?
A big dude with a leather jacket
looks good.
But it can't fit either, though. It's gotta be like a
crop top leather jacket. No, they were the big ones.
The big ones, yeah.
I think leather jackets are fucking awesome, dude. It's got to be like a crop top leather jacket. No, they were the big ones. The big ones. Yeah, the big ones.
Yeah.
But I think leather jackets are fucking awesome, dude.
But if you're too skinny with a long black leather jacket, Then you're going to shoot up a school.
Yeah.
So we have to be careful.
I don't like that.
The leather special that she did.
I don't like that.
She looks awful.
I don't like that.
More power to her, right?
Yeah.
Woo!
She's strong.
I don't like it. i don't like it um oh my god yeah you're so like what you'll be careful though because you don't want to
rock the fonzie leather jacket i do i have one too but you'll be careful if you wear the white
shirt underneath well you have to be careful with that mustache for sure wearing a leather jacket like that.
Oh, dude.
You might as well just go all out.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Get a motorcycle.
Yeah, and fuck dudes.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
No, let dudes fuck you.
No, no, no.
Oh, yeah.
No, that's gay.
Then you're not gay.
I'm gay.
I'm going to let dudes fuck me.
Oh, wow, dude.
Yeah.
So.
Y'all are gay for that.
You win this one, man.
Yeah, that's the rule.
Straight up.
I've always believed that.
And I'm glad about that.
And I'm consistent.
And I've said that for years.
It's pretty spot on.
This is a lot going on right here with the nose ring.
Oh, he's got a nose ring?
Yeah.
Isn't that a nose ring?
Oh, wow.
Is it a nose ring?
You're like Luther.
Wow.
Nose ring?
Yeah.
Isn't that a nose ring?
Oh, wow.
Is it a nose ring?
Wow.
Brandon, Chris, Eric, Nick, Chin.
I'm going to say a sentence that's pretty common in Australia.
I understand what it means.
I think most people would, but I just want to know if you can decipher it.
Let me know.
I'll tell you what it means after.
G'day, Cobber.
What's the John Dory?
Came for a few David Hasselfroths this afternoon.
Hit me on the dog and bone later. All right, hooroo mate
Obviously, that's fucking insane that anyone would talk like I want some beers with boys stand up perfectly I would have no issue replying to it
All right, try and guess what it means and I'll let you know. That's a great submission. I don't know what he's saying
I did he say that he's talking his friends like
From money for beers.
Yeah, do you want some beers? Let me know, right?
That's crazy.
And also, he said David Hasselhoff.
That's Hasselfroth.
But that's a play on David Hasselhoff, obviously.
Yes, David Hasselfroth.
You've heard of David Hasselfroth's hop?
Yeah, that's got to be beers. That's gotta be beers Let me know
I'll tell you what it means after
What's the John Dory
I don't want to know what it means
I don't want him to explain
I want to not know what that means
Let's move on
Appreciate you bro
Thank you I don't want to know Yeah, move on. Appreciate you, bro.
Thank you.
Shrimp on the bar, man.
With the frost and the pole to pole.
Google it if you want to know.
That's great for our fans, too.
Let them figure it out. Yeah, but that's like when they say,
there are shocking images.
Please change the channel if you don't want to see.
Change the channel.
That's what I did for him.
I don't want to do that.
I like that.
Did you change the channel?
Yeah, bro.
Dude, I was watching a movie last night.
Dude.
It's called Evil.
When or Where Evil Lurks?
Bro.
Even the title sounds bad, dude.
No.
It's a good movie.
Here we go.
But.
Is it lamb level?
No, no, no.
Lamb was great.
But here's the thing.
Look it up.
Evil Lurks.
Bro.
This fucking movie. First of all, it's foreign. It's in Spanish. You know how I do it, no. Lamb was great. But here's the thing. Look it up. Evil lurks. Bro, this fucking movie.
First of all, it's foreign.
It's in Spanish.
You know how I do it, right?
I'm out.
No, I know because you don't read.
But when evil lurks.
All right.
So, dude, this fucking thing in the...
You got that?
There is a...
Dude, it's harrowing.
Okay?
There's a part where they get...
There's a demon in the town. And this is hilarious because they keep saying, they get there's a demon in the town and this is
hilarious because they keep saying like there's a rotten in the town which means someone's possessed
like we have a rotten in our town and so they go this guy's big fat dude in a bed pos bulbous
they take him in a pickup truck drive him out because they can't kill him with a gun because
then the demon will be loose and it will terrorize the town, okay?
So they take him in the truck.
Don't spoil it for me.
I won't.
You won't watch it.
Will you watch it?
If it's a good scary movie.
Okay, okay.
I won't spoil it for you.
So the flatbed, they take him out of the flatbed.
They take him out like hundreds of kilometers.
And when they go to open the flatbed, they realize he's not in there.
So he must have fell out of the flatbed
because they almost hit a kid and shit
and they're like swerving and shit, right?
So they're like, where the fuck is he?
I was like, oh, leave him.
He's out of the town anyway.
Dude, you go back.
You go back.
I know it sounds silly,
but probably you got to see that part.
When he goes back, dude,
the rotten is still there, okay?
Now there's 15 minutes in the movie.
I'm not ruining it.
But one of the things about the rotten is you know the rotten is still there. Okay? Now, there's 15 minutes in the movie. I'm not ruining it. But one of the things about the rotten is
you know the rotten is still around
when animals start going crazy.
Okay?
Right.
Dude, this guy is trying to warn his family
that there's a rotten
and it's his ex-wife.
He's like,
you're just trying to get close to the kids.
Get the fuck out of here.
Dude.
Oh, my God.
There's a dog
just like this
looking at the fight.
The little girl with her dog and the dog just goes.
Eats the girl's face.
What?
And goes.
The little girl's like batting around and I go.
Doop.
Click.
Dude.
You didn't see how it ends?
Fuck no, dude. It fucked me how it ends? Fuck no, dude.
It fucked me up.
It fucked me up, dude.
I'll watch it tonight.
But I needed a break.
Well, that was a long break down, though.
Bro, it was.
That was a quick 20 minutes.
It's interesting to me, though,
that you're telling the story about a foreign film,
and then you also switch to kilometers.
I like that.
That's why I did it.
Because I respect it.
I respect it. I respect it.
I'll watch that.
It's an American movie.
They're driving miles out.
He was like,
they're driving kilometers.
Yep, yep, yep.
I respect it.
Bro, it's good.
It's good.
But it is fucked up, dude.
This one lady has the rotten enter.
It's all 20 minutes in.
But one lady has the rotten enter.
She takes the fucking axe
and she just goes,
boom, boom.
Dude, and she's just like, she's down and she's and then
And she's still like and you're just like oh god and the last one she goes like this
Dude and it's so weird and real and weird looking, bro. Say it.
Holy shit, man.
I'm a good, you know what?
You just did the whole audible.
I'm a good movie critic.
You're not.
I am.
And I don't rate them.
I just describe it.
That's what I do.
I did it on my podcast.
Yeah.
All of Fast and Furious.
You do do that.
Yeah.
Just the whole movie.
Oh, really?
From beginning to end, I tell the story of the movie.
Oh, wow.
I did it for nine, ten, and I can't wait to do it for the second half of 10.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
So bad, those movies.
What happened to Siskel and Ebert?
I know one died, right?
One died.
One doesn't have a chin.
Yeah.
One died.
I think they both died.
Those were the only guys we would ever listen.
Siskel died.
Yeah, Siskel.
But Ebert is dead too, right?
What?
I think he died.
It was Siskel and Ebert, but I think Ebert died.
He lost the bottom. He's still gone. He lost his chin. He lost it right? What? I think he died. It was Cisco and Ebert, but I think Ebert died. He lost the bottom.
He's still gone.
He lost his chin.
He lost it.
Oh, from cancer?
Cancer, yeah.
So he didn't have a chin.
I think he passed away.
Do we want to guess when he died?
It was like 2004.
13.
Wow.
Damn.
Good job.
There's no movie critics in Alley Kidman by name.
Like there's no.
Yeah.
Richard Roper.
Yeah, but is he still around? Yeah. Oh, oh wait because he was the roper de niebuhr he was the replacement right right right
he was like but that's the old school right leonard martin he's saying i go to the house
they're not like new two new like younger cool how is there not because we don't care about that
anymore we don't need this anymore but there's with the internet when you make a show about it there's like movie podcasts now yeah this movie like yeah i'm saying like a short concise breakdown
two legit dudes that no movies have a background in it maybe not young it's gotta be people have
backgrounds yeah yeah nobody has it was just like a personality that we were like we like this guy's
personality they're like a journalist and we're gonna go with it yeah most of these people now
you're just like, why do I care
about what you think? Because here's the thing too.
Here's the thing.
There'll always be some person or some
blog website, right?
And then they put that out.
But when you go to that person's page,
let's say you go to their Instagram page,
they got like six followers.
That means no one gives a fuck
about what you think.
So then why should we care about just because this website?
You know what I mean?
Yeah, I know.
I agree.
I can't stand that.
I know.
No, I know.
Critics are fucking useless.
It's weird, huh?
I'd rather just go see what, like, 100,000 people saw this movie and an average of this.
I go, okay, let me see what people.
Yeah, but that's like Rotten Tomatoes.
Yeah, but they're owned by what?
Like Warner Brothers. Bro, come on. No, we're vibing, bro. Yeah, they they're owned by what? Like Warner Brothers.
Bro, come on.
No, we're vibing, bro.
Yeah, they're getting like, it's coming out that people are paying for shit.
Oh, really?
Yeah, Rotten Tomatoes is bullshit.
Bullshit.
Well, who do we trust?
None of them.
You just got to go on your own.
Buzznews.entertainment.net.
Yeah, there's no like, really social media is the new critics. Because people are like, this movie's dope, and then it just gets traction. Like, this movie's so good... I don't know. Really, social media is the new critics.
Because people are like, this movie's dope, and then it just gets traction.
Like, this movie's so good.
I guess, yeah.
Well, that's when you go to comments.
You go like, I didn't like it.
I did like it, whatever.
Oh, no, I don't read that.
People just trust you.
No, I'm just saying.
Because have you ever left a comment on Yelp or anything?
I don't trust those people.
No, I don't either.
If you tell me it's good, I'm like, all right, I'll go see it.
Oh, this one's great.
This is my 60-year-old
godson. He just put out his second episode of his
podcast, Movies and More. I'm his hero.
16. Definitely cool
that you said that first before
we started roasting. Yeah, I was about to light his ass up,
but good for him.
Keep with it, young man.
That's cool. He's the new
guy, guys. Good. There we go. What's his name?
Leo Kirshner
Okay we're gonna shorten his last name
If he wants to get famous
No not if he's a critic
It should be called
The Leo
It should be called
The Kirshner Report
Oh
Ooh
If you're a critic
You kinda want one of those last names
Yeah you do
A longer one
Is that it or no?
Nope
We got a couple more
What's up Golden Hour?
Looking for some golden advice.
Brendan, Chris, you guys are beasts of dads.
I really admire you guys.
Eric, I know you will be too.
I'm going to be a new dad come January.
Me and my fiance are expecting.
Super, super excited.
Just looking for some advice for new dads.
Shout out to you guys.
Shout out to the guys in the back.
Appreciate y'all.
His eyebrows look like my mustache.
Oh, wow.
This is kind of like the seventh time we've put this question on,
but what do you got for him?
I don't know.
It's a lot.
It depends how you work with your fiancé
and what the delegations are.
It's so much.
You're just going to be present, you know?
Yeah.
I mean, I don't know.
You're not going to know how it's going to go.
There's no advice.
You're going to know how to do it because of humanity and how it's endured.
And you're going to love your child i hope i can't believe that
there's people out there that uh have kids and don't aren't around for them are you talking about
brian i'm just kidding me i love you i know i'm just trying to make him laugh i know don't get
mad dude don't get mad calum i can't believe there's people you know
that we all know
big wink
but that
they don't
yeah
that is absolutely insane
you know what it is
because you're not thinking about
the circumstances
of the situation
it's probably because
the way they grew up
sometimes it could be that
or sometimes it could be like
maybe like
the guy
didn't
like
maybe the guy
didn't want to have a kid
maybe the lady was like oh i can't
get pregnant don't worry i know i know or the other way or the girl didn't want to get like
she didn't like this guy or like you know i mean there's so many different yeah i know i know that
i know that but there's just like man like i i do the road now and i don't even like i'm like i just want them to come
like bro i i did the road i'm cutting back on the road i did the road i brought calvin with me just
calvin to uh little rock i will never forget that dude it was so fun just me those are the best
times the best time it was so fucking fun, dude.
We went to dinner
and they had like this
cinnamon butter and he was just
like, I really like cinnamon
butter. And he was just like, of course you do.
Dude, he just ate the whole fucking thing
with the bread. He was trying to eat just
the cinnamon butter. I'm like, buddy, you gotta
eat it with the bread and you gotta wait
because dinner's coming. And he was just like, I just want the cinnamon butter. I'm like, buddy, you got to eat it with the bread and you got to wait because dinner's coming and he was just like,
I just want the cinnamon butter.
And like, I'll never forget
that we were in fucking Little Rock, bro.
Wait till he starts playing sports.
Wait till he starts playing sports.
I know, I know, I know, I know.
I know.
Rachel said something
really funny to me
because I don't know,
I think everybody thinks about this
when you're about to have a kid.
You go, you want your kid
to be cute right
yeah
I mean it's just
if you rather have
the bully
or the one being bullied
which one do you
you know what I mean
but anyway
I think around
wow we have a cute kid
yours is a boy right
yeah
she goes like this
she goes
well you know
if I was worried about that
I would have got
with a model
so funny
did you say that
you told me that before I don't even know I think you told me that but I was like I was worried about that, I would have got with a model. So funny. That's right. Did you say that? You told me that before.
Did you say that?
I don't even know.
I think you told me that.
But I was like, you.
Yeah.
Like, if your kid comes out looking like Fonzie, it's not her.
Yeah.
You know?
But anyways.
That's hilarious she said that.
But, you know, you have, like, whatever, you know.
I think it's like, I'm nervous and scared at the same time.
What do you guys think about Kim's new nipple underwear?
What?
It's getting hotter and hotter.
The sea levels are rising.
The ice sheets are shrinking.
And I'm not a scientist, but I do believe everyone can use their skill set to do their part.
That's why I'm introducing a brand new bra
with a built-in nipple.
So no matter how hot it is, you'll always look cold.
Some days are hard, but these nipples are harder.
And unlike the icebergs, these aren't going anywhere.
The Skims Ultimate Nipple Bra.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm with it.
I mean.
She'll make a lot of money.
Yeah.
She's killing it.
She'll make a lot of money
and that's cool.
She'll make a lot of money.
All right,
Brennan,
you know.
I guess,
I guess,
I don't have a problem with it.
That's his jam.
No,
I know.
That size.
I know,
I know.
I know it. That's his jam right there. No, I I know. I know it.
That's his jam right there.
No, I definitely know that, but it's just.
What's the deal with.
She should have partnered with the WNBA because they have no tits.
Wait, from an NBA partnership to Nibble Grove?
They're the official underwear of the NBA.
I'm vibing, bro.
Everything she's doing is like working right now.
A lot of people talk about her underwear. On what? Her underwear. I don't know. Skims. Yeah vibing, bro. Everything she's doing is like working right now. A lot of people talk about
her underwear. On what? Her underwear.
I don't know. Skims. Skims are worth
like how much? Billions of dollars.
It's nuts, man. I think at this point,
remember like say five, six years ago, it was
like really trendy for
people to hate on them, right? It was like,
hey, hey, hey. At this point, it's like
oh, it didn't work.
All your hate, all it did is just prop this up. Now people are just like, okay, it's like it's like oh it didn't work like like you're all your hate
all it did is just practice so now people are just like okay it's kim kardashian everything's
great yeah i hired her same pr team so we'll see how it works out so she's so she's um i'm just
joking out of our views these people are interesting to me man like what you i i've
never seen her in real life.
You have, right?
A bunch.
Yeah.
So I really want to see what this whole family looks like in real life,
like what they actually look like.
Because it is – Hey, hey, hey.
They're dope.
Are they?
Yeah.
Hey, hey, hey.
They're dope.
And she's a good mom.
Kendall.
No, no, no.
I've seen them. Kylie. No, no. I've seen them.
No, no.
I've seen them.
Even the sister fixed herself?
These are the ones I'm talking about.
Those are the ones I'm talking about, though.
Kendall, beautiful.
Kylie, you know, hot, whatever you want to say.
But, like, the sisters are...
Because one of them went from...
You look at her now and you're like, what the fuck?
Like they just changed who she is.
Kylie.
No, no, no, no.
Khloe.
Her, yes.
Khloe.
If you look at her however many years ago and then now –
Oh, yeah.
She was like big –
So seeing that in person, you got to be able to see the cracks somewhere.
You got to be like, okay, I see.
No, but they're like – listen, though.
This is the thing.
At this point, they've been on television now for 20 years.
They have teams of people always doing makeup.
They got trainers.
They got chefs.
I get it.
They eat the best.
Oh, Zampic up the gazoo.
Whatever it is, they're doing it.
So we'll never really know what it would look like if they lived normal.
I know that.
The problem is when you have a little girl and she idolizes that.
It's not attainable.
Right, right, right.
That's the problem.
It's not attainable for somebody who doesn't have a billion dollars.
Yeah.
And then also, because here's the other thing, though. That's the problem. Of course, right. It's not attainable for somebody who doesn't have a billion dollars. Yeah.
And then also, because here's the other thing, though.
But they look different.
They might.
I'm sure they're attractive. But I'm just saying, on TV, like, if you look at, for some reason, the show Selling Sunset was on.
My wife was watching it, right?
You seen it?
I've never seen it.
Rachel loves that stupid show.
Okay, so.
Well, it's on Netflix now, right?
Yeah, yeah, it is.
It's so dumb, that show.
I think it's a Netflix show.
But anyway.
Yeah, it's a Netflix show. But anyway, you look at these real estate agents that are all like Barbie dolls and like hot women.
Their makeup is caked on.
I hate that.
In real life, this would look atrocious.
They look like clowns.
This is odd as fuck.
But on TV, if you're kind of like sitting back and just you're not really looking you're like that chick's hot but bro i've seen these people in real life they
look like jar jar bings yeah like it's awful it's awful great great you and me are like nerd
and you look at them and you go oh misa not like that Hey, hey, hey.
Mesa not like that.
Finally some respect.
All right, bro.
Slow clap, everybody.
You look at it and go, Mesa not like that.
People hated Jar Jar Binks, huh?
Yeah, it was stupid.
You was fine.
Look at that.
That's selling Sunset right there.
They go, this house is $6 million.
But the reason why they have it.
Mesa loved the floors.
Are we saying, though, that if there was another real estate agency company and it was all fat chicks, that they wouldn't be able to sell as much as these other ones?
That's exactly what they're telling you.
Is that what we're saying?
Yeah, yeah.
Is that true?
Can we put that poll out there?
Look, attractive people obviously are more successful
when they have to be looked at.
And sell things.
And sell things.
But if a Jar Jar Binks looking chick like that
comes up to me and says,
I'm your real estate agent,
I go like this,
get the fuck out of my maybe house.
Dude, there is no way.
There is no way I'm trusting any of this bullshit that's that's why I
like in medical sales like all of them are yeah 100% hands cuz they walk in the
doctor's office like I'll buy whatever you sell I'll give me four thousand of
well that's how they that's what the car oxy yeah it is weird bro I mean we. It's just weird. It is weird, bro.
I mean, look.
It's a weird thing.
But I get it.
I get it.
Well, being attractive is one thing.
But that shit is crazy.
They look insane.
If I was as funny as some of these attractive comics, I'd be working at UPS.
Yeah.
Okay?
Because you wouldn't be able to do it.
I literally have to be funny.
Attractive comics.
Some of the comics out there that are real attractive,
you know what I'm saying?
And they're out there doing their thing,
you know what I'm saying?
They're not looked at as funny first.
Right.
Well, it is weird.
It's fine.
It's a thing.
Yeah.
Well, but it's weird because when you have both,
you take Matt Rife, right?
You have both.
You had a little bit of both.
And he had, before I got gray.
Dane?
Yeah.
But the point is, when, like, you look at what's happening to Matt Rife now, who's fucking hilarious.
Like, people will just see that still.
The look will be like, fuck this guy he's not
funny you're not even listening you don't even know his shit yeah yeah that stuff is no but the
thing is like i feel like this don't say i had a little bit i was pretty you know what i mean
the kid was you're no matt rife dude no but bro thank god i'd be dead who is yeah i'd be dead
you would have got beheaded.
I would have killed myself, bro.
I would be done. I'd go like this.
Off the fucking building.
You would have drowned in pussy jizz.
Sometimes you have somebody that is like,
when you have someone who's super talented and then super good looking, those are the people
that become super mega stars.
But then you have some people that are
really attractive but not as talented,
but they still are stars like Paul Walker, R.I.P.
You know what I mean?
Oh, wow.
You know?
He was a terrible actor.
Paul Walker?
Out of all the names.
Yeah, he was just one of his.
You could have thrown somebody else who didn't die.
No, no, because I remember like, you know,
oh, the dude that, you know who else is like that?
The Legolas guy.
Orlando Bloom. Right. Like, he just turned out to not be a great actor like like how he thought you know
i see parts of the caribbean caribbean caribbean did you not see that yeah he wasn't caribbean
queen i said caribbean that's my dude i say caribbean but i'm just saying that billy ocean
like oh billy ocean you're right, Billy Ocean.
I'm just saying sometimes you have like...
There's like the levels.
So like the ones that really like, you know, they got that thing.
It's like the magic, you know?
They're like unicorns because they got it all.
Yeah, they got this magic.
So it's like that's a great thing.
But what I'm saying though is that what messes people up is like in that sunset thing.
It's like so this really hot woman walks in and you're
like yeah here's eight million dollars for this house so you know it's like that where you go
well i saw a thing on the the guy was trying to sell his house he's like if you can sell my house
i will give you one of these cars and it was like there was six of them that were all hot and he was
only saying that because they're hot you know what i mean like he's really gonna just give him a car
if they sell the house i'm great the guy's got more money than God. Yeah, exactly. But that kind of shit does happen.
I don't know if it happens.
We're good.
Is that it, Nicholas?
That's it.
Go get my special Grow or Die.
It's on ChrisLeah.com.
And I will be in Fort Myers.
I will be in Orlando.
And I will be in Baltimore, Trenton, and Philadelphia and Redding.
ChrisLead.com.
Chicago, December 8th and 9th.
Let me see where I'm at.
I have a shop and friends at the Ice House, November.
16th.
What?
November 16th.
Shop and friends at the Ice House.
But Chicago is November.
December 8th.
December 8th, 9th.
All right.
Love you guys.
I don't know where I'm going to be for a while now.
I think I'm going to be like early December, January stuff.
Cool, man.
Fuck yeah.
Come and see him.
I'm taking off because I'm a wife.
You know what I mean?
I'm trying not to like, you know.
I'm out there.
Just go to ericgriffin.com.
All right, kids.
We're out.
We're out.
We're out. Sometime in the early 80s, REO Speedwagon's airplane made an unannounced middle-of-the-night landing.
This is my friend Kyle McLaughlin, the star of Twin Peaks.
And he's telling me about how he discovered a real-life Twin Peaks in rural North Carolina,
not far from where he filmed Blue Velvet.
What was on the plane was copious amounts of drugs coming in from South America.
Supposedly, Pablo Escobar went looking for other spots,
quiet, out-of-the-way places to bring in his cocaine.
My name is Joshua Davis, and I'm an investigative reporter.
Kyle and I talk all the time about the strange things we come across,
but nothing was quite as strange as what we found in Varnumtown, North Carolina.
There's crooked cops, brother against brother.
Everyone's got a story to tell, but does the truth even exist?
Welcome to Varnumtown.
Varnumtown is available wherever you listen to podcasts.