The Golden Hour - Pulling the Goalie | The Golden Hour PATREON #29 EXCERPT w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia
Episode Date: January 17, 2024The guys take a live call-in from a Forensic Scientist, deliver Relationship Advice to one the nicest guys ever and talk Brendan Dassey's rapping brother, Shannon Sharpe and Steven A. Smith, watching ...the NBA live, gifting their girls overpriced designer bags and much more. Get the full episode plus two extra episodes every month at https://patreon.com/thegoldenhourpodcast
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We're friends that laugh, we're friends that shout
Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about
But that won't stop us
Nothing can stop us
Cause I can show you used to love
Just rebranded enough
It's stronger, better, bigger power
Cause it is the Golden Hour
It's the Golden Hour
What's up, guys? How you doing?
What's up, brother?
Bro!
There we go, Carhartt. That's our brand.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's us.
Gotta support that.
What's going on, big guy?
How you doing, man?
Good.
Happy New Year.
It looks cold wherever you're at.
Kalamazoo, Michigan.
Ooh.
Sorry.
Freezing.
Congrats on a national championship, though, right?
You a Michigan fan?
No, hell no.
Notre Dame.
Oh, that's right.
I can't.
I can't stand the fans.
Sorry.
No, it's okay.
I get it.
What you got?
What you got?
Anyway, guys.
Yeah, just calling in.
Been dealing with this for a little while.
Our kind of core friend group.
We're a core group of like five guys.
And one is getting married to what I call, what I said earlier in my message, a Yoko Ono.
She's kind of splitting my best friend off from
the group um and all the guys that kind of line up me to say something more like yoko oh no exactly
yeah exactly yeah always inviting her invite herself everywhere um right so yeah so she's
she's bites herself everywhere
That's the worst
Your buddy needs to
Fucking man up
And say something like
Hey
Yeah
Unless his buddy is
Pussified
Oh he might be a little bit
You know
You don't know
What's the buddy's take on it
Do you even know
He's making it pretty clear
He's like scared to say
He's scared to say something
We drop
We golf together
Softball together
And
She
She'll bite herself golfing.
He won't say anything at all.
Sure.
How hot is she?
Is she a straight 10?
No.
I wouldn't do it.
Okay, then you need to say something.
You should have just said no.
But look, that was just, damn.
But here's the thing.
He said a lot about that girl and his friend in that one
Bob just say cuz if she's like this bombshell you might hate sorry fellas Ah, you know, but if she's just average like dude speak up. Can I get some more questions in?
Uh, does your friend does your friend date a lot?
No, no, okay. So is this the first girl long time?
Yeah. Yes
He's a bitch Is this the first girlfriend he's had in a long time? Yeah, yes, it is. There you go. Okay, well, there it is.
Well, there it is.
He's a bitch.
What?
He just found out.
That's what Brandon would say.
There's a cocky vibe there.
Come on, bro.
Say something.
Go fuck golf.
I mean, how often are you seeing this guy, though, without her?
Oh, hardly ever.
Maybe.
I mean.
But to the guy's point.
He's a bitch.
He's a bitch, but also to his point, playing golf with the buddies doesn't get your dicks up.
I know, but bro, how many times do you want to get your dicks up all day long?
No, you want to hang out with the buddies sometimes.
You want both.
That is true.
Play some golf, get your dicks up. Well, at least he's saying they're going golfing and things like that.
Because that would always, you have to question both sides.
Like, if he's like, you know, she doesn't let us go to the strip club.
We can't be out all night.
They don't let us.
We don't do shit like that anymore.
We're getting kind of older. We don't have a guy next to us anymore.
You know what the problem is, brother?
You know what the problem is? Somebody's going to say
something and you're going to lose them as a friend.
Maybe. Because you can get super defensive.
Yeah.
You know what? The way this sounds, that is
what's going to happen. 100%.
Because the guy, if he's too scared to fucking say something,
then he's too scared to make a move after he does.
And then when she finds out, she's like, those are bad.
You can't be hanging out with them.
That ruins everything.
Just enjoy seeing them.
She's already told the other girls in our group that she doesn't like me.
So I was like, should I come out and just say it back?
Well, you know what?
I don't like her either.
Well, yeah, but you know, I mean, you are the one
calling into a podcast talking
shit about her. Yeah, but this is after
you know she doesn't like you.
Yeah, but also she said she doesn't like him.
Why do you think you guys clash?
It's probably because of this.
She's trying to compete.
He's like, she's black.
Yeah, you're stealing her friend.
Yeah, yeah.
It's real simple, man.
She's black.
No, but here's the thing, man.
You know what?
We're in Michigan.
Yeah.
If he's your friend, he's your friend.
And it's like sometimes you have to just, you might have to, when you're out.
So you're telling me that it's all guys out sometimes and just her?
Yeah.
Yeah, like our girlfriends and spouses they they're like yeah go
have fun call us wonder if you need a ride or anything like that they're pretty cool about
everything they never interfere unless we ask them to well then maybe it's time to have a casual
conversation with her while you guys are out about it hey you ever want to hang out with our girls
because we kind of like want maybe just be nice about it you don't got to be you don't got to be
aggressive about it you could just be with her like hey don't worry this is what we do we're
taking care of him.
All he does is talk about you.
Maybe you go hang out.
Here's my girl's number.
Make her feel safe.
Make her feel safe.
She might be super insecure.
Yeah, because you don't know her story.
You know what I mean?
We've actually tried that.
All of our girls are our friends.
They all hang out.
She will exclude herself from that.
You're dealing with a dragon here.
This is tough.
Yeah, it's tough.
Is she bad for him in other ways besides just taking away from you?
Or is it just like...
I feel bad. She's making him work two jobs
to pay for a real expensive wedding.
Ooh, you might have to
pull a saving silverman.
Oh, okay.
Okay, yeah.
I can pull the Steve Zahn and kidnap her.
Yeah, dude.
Jack Black.
This guy's scary.
This guy, he's like the Dennis Rodman of his friend group.
You want him on your team, but you don't want him not on your team.
But it sounds like if you said something, it would benefit your friend if she kind of sucks.
Yeah.
But you're risking losing your friend. No, no, no. But I feel like you know your friend if she kind of sucks. Yeah. But you're risking –
No, no, no.
But I feel like you know your friend loves this girl, right?
Is this part of –
Oh, he does.
Yeah.
Yeah, he does.
He's super in love.
And you've tried to talk to him?
Oh, yeah.
I'm like, hey, man, does she always have to invite herself around with us going golf?
We'll do things together as groups, like girls and guys, all the time.
But I mentioned it to him, and he's like, well, she's one of the guys,
and then he'll say the same thing because she'll put him in his spot.
That's tough.
I can't stand it.
You know what I can tell you?
I'm one of the guys.
I got this one, guys.
Get over it, bro.
Wow.
I know.
Get over it.
I'm probably going to have to.
You love your friend.
This is your group. She's going to be a part of the group. It's like know. Get over it. I'm probably going to have to. You love your friend.
This is your group.
She's going to be a part of the group.
You can't beat them.
You got to join them.
You know what?
If she's going to be there and there's nothing you can do about it because you're making
yourself miserable because of it.
You know what I mean?
You know what you have to start doing too?
You got to be like, yeah, man, you can't come.
Yeah, I couldn't invite him.
Yeah.
Yeah, we're going to go do some guy stuff.
But real quick
none of us hang out with the bros none of us are casey hangs out with bros casey's a bro guy he has
his brothers his buddies they do shit on the weekends what would you do case i mean you gotta
you gotta talk to your boy and be like bro do you don't see it like she calls herself one of the
guys she's not one of the guys like the dynamic is fucked because she's bringing herself around.
Like, you got to have a real heart-to-heart with homeboys.
Aren't you embarrassed?
Yeah, like, dude, we got to, like Eric is saying,
figure out some way that the girl can be involved
that isn't the fucking tea time on Sunday with the boys.
Agreed.
I agree.
You're right.
I like it.
I like it.
He's so mad.
If one of his girls, he'd be like this,
she's here again? She walks to him, he's like, oh, come on, I like it. He's so mad. If one of his guys he'd be like this. She's here again?
She walks through
and he's like
come on in the back.
He's funneling off.
Yeah.
I think you'd find
a middle ground.
But I also think like
yo don't invite the dude
if he's going to bring
the chick
and you want to do
dude stuff.
Yeah.
No exactly.
I'm agreeing with you.
It sucks though.
It does suck
but what the fuck?
You make your bed
you lay in it.
It don't suck
because the problem is
that guy has made a choice.
He wants his cake and you have it too.
He's like, I got my friends and I got my- You know what, dude?
I'm mad at that guy.
Yeah.
No, this might be good.
This is on him, not her.
Don't invite him.
Do cool shit and post it on Instagram.
Be like, guys only.
No chicks allowed.
Saturday, guys day, baby.
Hashtag no chicks allowed.
No cuffs allowed.
Got it.
And he's going to be like, hey, what happened?
He was like, oh, yeah, we were just guys.
Yeah.
Ask your wife.
You go like this.
We're having a guy's day.
Do you want to come?
And he's like, yeah.
And he's like, okay, but it's guy's day.
You just got to start planning shit like that.
That's what I would do.
Like, love you, bud, but you can't bring your warlock anymore.
He's at home.
What the fuck, you guys?
Why are you not?
You didn't invite me?
And you go like this.
Sorry, bro.
No chicks allowed.
Woo!
He's at the water park.
He's at the water park.
Yeah, he was at the water park.
He's at the water park.
Oh, yeah.
I know that.
Where did he put his phone?
Sorry, bro.
He's got a plastic bag.
I can do that. I can do that
I can do that
yeah man
so I think
but can I just say
one last thing here
dude
you gotta
don't be so mad about it
you gotta find out
that's what my girl says
yeah don't be so mad about it
you gotta let go
you gotta let go of that
because that's not gonna
because the message
will get lost in the delivery
yeah that's true
that's a good point
good point.
Good point.
Yeah, you're right.
All right, so just chill. Good luck, brother.
And remember, and tell me there is some good things about the girl, too,
because your friend's happy.
He's finally in love.
He finally found someone.
You know what I mean?
You've got to remember that, too.
Yeah, they can do stuff together.
They're supposed to golf together.
They do all that shit together.
But, yeah, you're right.
Just chill, man.
You're going to be all right.
You've still got your friend. I appreciate that, Eric. Thank you., you're right. Just chill, man. You're going to be all right. You still got your friend.
I appreciate that, Eric.
Thank you.
All right, brother.
Good luck, man.
Thank you.
Good question.
Hey, guys.
Have a happy New Year, all right?
Appreciate it, brother.
Good luck.
Thanks, man.
Chin had the, I'm sorry,
Nick had the shawl shank thing up.
What?
What?
Oh, that's funny.
That made me laugh.
That's stupid.
I was trying to get him out of it.
I don't think I was laughing at him. Thank you.