The Golden Hour - The Light Turned Green | The Golden Hour #37 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia
Episode Date: July 14, 2023Erik announces that he's having a baby, Brendan and Erik make fun of Chris' hairstyle and the guys talk the trials and tribulations of having a baby, CGI movies, celebrities bein...g too famous, dealing with hate, the infamous Casa Bonita in Denver reopening thanks to South Park creators, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, new show recommendations and much more! Get two extra episodes every month at https://Patreon.com/TheGoldenHourPodcast Draftkings - Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code GOLDEN
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We're friends that laugh, we're friends that shout
Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about
But that won't stop us
Nothing can stop us
Ooh, yeah
It's like a show you used to love
Just rebranded enough
It's stronger, better, bigger power
Cause it is the Golden Hour
It's the Golden Hour
Does Morgan Freeman have a podcast?
Yeah.
No.
No.
Oh, man.
He would clean up.
He doesn't need any more money.
And then...
Yeah.
When I did Shawshank... Just ask him about Shawshank. Oh, man. He could. He would clean up. He would just be. He doesn't need any more money. And then. Yeah. You know, just.
When I did Shawshank.
When I did.
I just asked him about Shawshank.
You were?
No, I just asked him a question about Shawshank.
Oh.
That's it.
Well, that's one of those movies.
And seven.
Yeah, two of the best movies.
By far.
Yeah.
He's got a great career.
Yeah.
It's interesting, though, because he's.
Would you consider him a movie star? Like, you could make him, like, the lead and then expect. Not anymore. It took a while. He's got a great career. Yeah. It's interesting, though, because would you consider him a movie star?
Like, you could have made him, like, the lead and then expect.
Not anymore.
It did go well.
He's too old.
Well, never, though, right?
Yeah, but nothing.
No, you could have in, like, the 80s.
Yeah, for sure.
90s?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, after Shawshank, maybe he could.
He was old, though.
He still needed to be, like.
Yeah, he was old then.
Before that, he was, like.
He's, like, 185, I feel like.
You know what I mean?
Like, he's. No, he's just one of those guys a great character actor he's like okay if you have like
a less movie star same shit so you have a less movie star and then you have like character actor
yeah you know he's in the middle there so samuel jackson no no samuel jackson's a listener yeah
but again he's he couldn't do it again he's too. Like Samuel L. Jackson couldn't do it like Denzel.
He could do an indie.
Like he couldn't do what Denzel's doing.
He could.
Samuel L. Jackson could do just as well.
Clint Eastwood's still starring in movies.
Well.
Yeah, but he's directing them, right?
Yeah, it's his budget.
Yeah, well, Samuel L. Jackson could do the same thing.
He's a household name.
You know who he is.
He is a household name, but I don't.
He could have.
No, he could never headline a studio movie now no unless it was packed with other people too
correct the only people that can do that are denzel tom cruise leonardo well leonardo yeah
well i mean i'm talking about older guys but Older guys, though, I'm talking about.
Jared Leto's.
50.
Yeah.
Fuck.
That's weird.
I mean, even Harrison Ford can't do it anymore.
Oh, yeah.
I saw that.
That was just.
You saw it?
Yeah.
I was just like, what is Grandpa Jones doing?
It's bombing, huh?
But that's the thing about this.
I talked about it.
No, but there was a scene he had his shirt off.
Oh, wow.
He had his shirt off.
Did he have floppy tits?
Yeah.
It's just.
No, actually, I was like, for an 80-year-old?
Of course.
I was like, get it.
It's probably fake though, right?
It's computer generated?
No.
But they had this whole computer generated part of the movie that I was like, and I think
because AI is in everybody's consciousness right now.
So if this would have happened five years ago, we would have been like, whoa, it's young
Indiana.
Now we're like, what are they doing?
Well, it just looked a little off like
right where was that movie uh the irishman when they did it with uh robert de niro and joe pesci
the irish the irishman the irishman what's the irishman the irishman irishman like he's a fucking
one other i'm here to save the city you know what is that what is that i'm here to say today
but they did the ai and that just looked off like it was like a lag behind no but what i'm
i get what you're saying about that but my point is okay i remember there was an x-men movie wasn't
that bad one of the x-men movies with patrick stewart and ian that ian whatever his name you
know the bagnito guy yeah they they had a scene where they were going like 20 years ago.
And when you were looking at it, you were like, wow.
What I'm saying now is because of the fear of AI, when you see that now, people are not going, they're not amazed.
They're thinking, uh-oh.
That's funny, yeah.
Uh-oh.
That's what happened to Indiana Jones.
Yeah.
So it was like, and it was a great, like this would have been a great movie
if he would have done this 40 years ago,
this part of it, you know, whatever that was.
But it was like, it just looked weird.
It's just not, nobody wants to fucking see
Indiana Jones again.
The movie's bombing, right, Nick?
The movie's kind of bombing?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Doing very bad.
Kind of bombing?
It's very, very, very, very bad, yeah.
I'm very nostalgic of Indiana Jones because-
But that's the only people who are going to go see it.
But also 50-year-olds are not going to go to the movie theater
to see fucking Indiana Jones.
No, we are.
My dad.
Those are the only people going.
I'm sorry.
But that's not.
But they don't flock to the theaters, right?
You got families now.
50-year-olds got families now.
And they want to stay at home.
At a certain time.
Yeah.
So it's like, I don't know if they thought
that they were going to get the younger audience.
They don't give a shit about this.
Disney is eating all the dicks.
I'm kind of glad to see it.
Once you go woke, you're broke.
There's something there.
I just don't like any company.
You've been working out, huh?
What's going on, man?
What's going on, dude? Hey, we both have long out, huh? I have, huh? What's going on, bro? Was that creatine daddy? What's going on, man? What's creatine daddy?
What's going on, dude?
Hey, we both have long hair, huh?
Dude, I didn't know.
I don't want you to know.
I'm going to know.
I did deadlifts.
Did you use Pantene?
The other day, no.
Just grease?
No, man.
By the way, I am very hygienic.
And people are always like, oh, grease ball.
I have such clean.
Yeah, you look like a fucking dirty surfer.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you look like, you know what I mean?
Here's what I think.
Like, if you were under an overpass and I saw you, I'd be like, oh, okay, that tracks.
You know what I mean?
I'd be like, oh, that's the clean list.
Bumped.
You know what I mean?
Oh, whatever.
This fucking guy, bro.
You'd be right there with me, caveman Valentine.
Dude. No, I just look like I need to shave. You look like you mean? Oh, whatever. This fucking guy, bro. You'll be right there with me, caveman Valentine. Dude.
No, I just look like
I need to shave.
You look like you belong there.
Here's the thing.
If I, like,
if you put a cup over there,
I would put a dollar in,
like, oh, man,
are you okay?
I need more than that.
Come on.
Dude, if I shaved,
nobody would say that.
It's just the look.
There's nothing you can do
about it, man.
You got greasy hair.
It's a lot of things.
It's grunge, you think?
No, it's not grunge. It's the way. way it's not a grunge it's the way your hair sits on
your head i don't agree bro is this racist like if you call it it's like a wop look i mean it's
i don't racist no not if i don't know it's like you know hey it's like one of those like
medieval judges you know what i mean where you like it's i mean like a turn of
the century judge that's what that guy's like the richest guy and he's not i know but no you know
what it is eric it's like and i just finished game of thrones for the fourth time but you know what
it is it's like you you're one of those soldiers and you got like the the armor on and you take
the helmet off you could go right on game of thrones yeah boom there'd be no makeup nothing
you know how they like they're like sweating you would come in. Yeah, boom. There'd be no makeup, nothing. Do you know how they like sweat?
They're like sweating. You would come in ready for hair and makeup.
They'd be like, you're good.
Yeah.
Just go onto the battlefield.
It's that vibe.
You're good.
They could put you right next to William Wallace, and it would be like, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
It'd just be like always sweaty, I think.
But let me say this.
I shower at least once a day.
Okay.
I wash my hair, you know, not every day, but plenty of days a week.
Dude, you fit right in.
Can we just superimpose Chris right in there and we'd be like, oh, okay.
You superimpose me in there.
Honestly, you think it looks good.
I'll look so out of place, bro.
Well, that guy's wig's awful, though, the second one in.
Yeah, that's a terrible wig.
Oh, that's a zombie thing.
Is that Amy Schumer in the middle there?
Is that a transgender?
No, but yeah.
You just look wet all the time.
But I also always smell fantastic.
My pheromones are great.
No, you just look like wet all the time.
It looks like some baby oil fell on your head.
Bro, don't people use product?
And you try to get it out?
I have fucking product.
I put it in my hair.
That's it.
What product?
For what? I just take a little bit after my product. I put it in my hair. That's it. What product? For what?
I just take a little bit after my hair and I put it in there.
After the shower?
Well, you do, right?
Yeah, but.
Well, you're going to be like, oh, black people have to and shit.
Yeah.
Especially when you're mixed.
You have to.
This shit will be.
Do you use one of those brushes?
Like the thick one?
No, no, no, no, no.
I just.
All I do is.
You know?
And I'm ready to go.
That's what I do.
Yeah. I don't know if it's.'m ready to go. That's what I do. Yeah.
I don't know if it's yours.
It's probably like.
It's not, bro.
I don't use that much.
I really don't.
I feel like you just wake up like that.
It's when it is.
And then you have to go, you have to like, you know, do like a meatball.
Oh, I meant to send you this article.
You know, I read weird shit.
There's an article on a mafia guy.
He was like a kingpin.
His name was William D'Elia.
Yeah.
Yeah, is he your dad?
My dad is the kingpin.
Is there any relation there?
No.
Is that not weird?
William D'Elia?
I learned about this years ago, yeah.
Oh, okay.
I thought it was breaking news.
It's the exact same name.
It's so funny.
William D'Elia, bad dude.
I completely forgot about it.
Big Billy D'Elia.
William Big Billy D'Elia. By by the way that's my son's name billy william billy you know
yeah big billy d'alia that's my son's name america's most powerful mafia family that's
why and here's chris well that's what they got to say that but my uh my my son's gonna grow up
his first word's gonna be like forget about. I'll put your head in a vice.
Oh, my God.
He's just at first grade, just running it.
Oh, man.
Lunch money.
He just got all these chocolate milks in front of him right here.
Well, guys, speaking of.
Speaking of chocolate milk.
Speaking of chocolate milk.
He's like, I brought everybody chocolate milk.
11 weeks. Yeah, that's everybody chocolate milk. 11 weeks.
Yeah, that's amazing.
Rachel is 11 weeks pregnant.
I know it's a little early.
A little early.
A little early.
Here's the thing, though.
I've had scares myself.
But here's the thing.
That's the thing I was going to talk about.
People don't know all the things you have to worry about.
So we just had this doctor's appointment where they're looking at the ultrasound
and the lady's like,
it's like she's like French
and she's like making jokes
and blah, blah, blah.
This baby is going to be big
and blah, blah, blah.
Oh, we got the same lady.
Yeah.
We got the same lady.
Oh, yes.
Because we go into the same doctor.
That's right.
You know what I'm talking about?
There's two of them that are great.
There's a Russian one
and a French one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But anyways,
she goes,
this is great.
There's two arms and two legs. And I was sitting there and I was like, oh, is that something you worry about? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyways, she goes, this is great. There's two arms and two legs.
And I was sitting there and I was like, oh, is that something you worry about?
Yeah, bro.
And I was like, dude, your thing about babies, it's all about movies and television.
Yeah.
Our whole lives.
Right.
Our whole lives, we just look at, we don't even know that this process, and I get to
why people wait.
They wait till they, like until after the genetic test.
They wait until after everything because I realize now people make certain choices at a certain point.
People get to like 13 weeks, and they say, well, your baby's going to have this, this, and this.
And they go, all right.
Start over.
Get them out of there.
Let's take a little break, fellas.
Let's take a break, dude.
That's where my feet are up. I like them up there, dude. Let's take a little break, fellas. Let's take a break, dude. That's where my feet are up.
I like them up there, dude.
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One of the things, I mean, this is so actually dramatic, but also kind of funny.
Like, because you're talking about things that you don't think about.
Like, the things that they'll do in the ultrasound and the look and that you don't realize you're like, oh, thank God.
Like, she was like, I remember the first time with calvin she
was like well that's not twins and i was like oh dude i didn't even fucking yeah oh thank god i
didn't think about that you know what i mean yeah there's all these kinds of things but you know
they've seen some shit they're like not a tail that's a spross you're a tail what who the fuck
has tails and then and then it was like then it's like you know you do the blood test and they're
like looking for genetic things and they're. And the doctor's very much like, look.
And then our doctor, she's had five babies.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So anyway, there's all these things that you worry about.
And then right now, Rachel's super sick all the time.
And it's just like, that's a lot right there.
They don't tell you about that.
It's really hard for the man.
Nobody talks about that.
Nobody does talk about that.
Hey, I'll tell you this right now. It's hard for the man. Nobody talks about that. Nobody does talk about that, bro. It's a motherfucker.
It's nine months of prison.
Guantanamo Bay should be ran by women in their first trimester.
Save it for the stage, bro.
I just say it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, honestly, it's obviously harder for the women, obviously.
But holy fucking shit, bro.
They do not talk about it.
They become Hitler for nine months.
Yeah.
They boss you around.
They do not talk about it.
They become Hitler for nine months.
They boss you around.
Besides the fact that it's tough,
you feel,
at least for me, you feel so much for them. The first trimester
for William
and my wife, dude, she was just
like, I'd walk in the
room and she's just on the couch.
I'm just like, oh.
You know what though
they put in a little extra on it well when they hear you coming i would yeah i know because
it's a little dramatic like rachel like when she's like can you get me you know and then like
i was out of town and i'm facetiming her just motherfucking zipping around on a zipline
all of a sudden she's like you know then when i see as i get home she's like
yeah but i get it when you know you have someone there for you of course you just kind of let loose
but that's why i've said just look i don't know how you when you have a baby with someone that
you're not fully devoted to like like i understand now that's why 16 penants lit i i understand now why people like you ever
we all know a relationship they got to they only been together say a year they have a kid and then
by year three they've divorced because this process yeah this is challenging test you oh
it's navy seals bud camp for relations it's also the kind of thing where it's like dude i i don't
know man i i think about like i i don't know how I can be like kind of involved in my son's life.
But like, it's almost like if you get someone pregnant and you don't know them, you want to pretend it didn't happen.
And you're just like, I'm going to move and I'm not going to talk to either of them ever again.
And then it didn't happen.
So I almost understand that more than like, yeah, I'll get the kids for the summer.
You know what I mean?
Because like, it's like I would just i can i know i can compartmentalize i'll just shut everything off
oh hey oh i'm a new guy now my name is paul yeah that was somebody else yeah yeah somebody else is
kidding you know aren't you the comedian chris delia no i fucking hate that guy's comedy i'm paul
and i'm a huge
John Mulaney fan
Yeah man
Yeah you can see how they dip out
Early on if they're young too
Imagine like
Imagine these kids
Who are 18
Like we kind of
Got our shit together
Kind of
That's a loose term
But imagine if you're 18
Like the world's your oyster
You get some
Random girl pregnant
A one night stand
She's not pregnant You're like Oh Game over I got a friend of mine Not like the world's your oyster you get some random girl pregnant a one-night stand dude i'm pregnant
you're like oh i came over i got a friend of mine i'm not he's nick knows what i'm talking about i
got a friend of his young dude he's only 24 and he's like you know was this girl and he she's
pregnant yeah and she said to him i can't get pregnant don't worry you know and so like but
they're both done for that i can't get pregnant pregnant. Don't worry. And then she looks at the camera.
No, but it's like they don't even live in the same state. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, you know, you just go, wow.
But here's the irony of it.
Like, you know, you would say you would understand, like, you got some stranger pregnant.
And it's like, all right, well, I'm not going to be involved.
Or they don't want you to be involved.
And you're like, you're gone.
And then it's like it's very funny how that's frowned upon.
And you're like, you're gone.
And then it's like, it's very funny how that's frowned upon. Like, if a guy makes the choice to be like, I'm not emotionally ready and I'm not financially ready.
So I'm going to move on.
Should I have sex, boy?
I know.
But women make the same choices when they have abortions for the exact same reason.
Like, it's literally the same reason.
There's videos of women going, I just wasn't ready.
I wasn't emotionally equipped
i'm not financially ready and we go oh yeah but but oh girl but the dad's not like i'm leaving
like the mom's killing the kid no i know no i know but his point is if well yeah for the further
his point yeah but to you're saying that like a male will be like i can't do this i'm not i don't
want to be in the kid's life.
And people will be like, fuck you, deadbeat dad.
Yeah, you're a deadbeat dad.
And then we have the guy's 18, and he's like, I don't know.
I feel like I never knew my dad.
Right.
And I think I'd rather be alive.
Right.
Yeah, exactly.
It's a fair point.
Totally.
It's a fair point.
You're saying deadbeat dads are way, way better than single mothers.
Not single mothers, but moms did.
I don't know.
It's like I'm not trying to get into a political discussion about abortion.
I'm just saying it's just ironic that that's how it's frowned upon.
But everything is.
But it's tough.
I'm scared as hell.
I'm excited.
Is your girl at this point, we're only having one.
I'm never doing this again when they're sick.
Every kid my girl says, okay.
And then they're talking.
I'm like, where's that shit now?
But biologically, that has to change.
You forget about all the pain that you went through
and all the disgusting nausea and all that shit.
I've been with men in black since I was a little kid.
We have a lot of –
We just have a lot of vomit discussions.
They know the best kind of food to eat.
She's like, oh, this will come out real easy.
And your girl talks to my girl because my girl is sick as fuck.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're talking about it.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
How far along?
Shit. Two or three months. shit right there they're about the same we're a little further because we had an issue before when my girl announced it like six days in i was like i feel
like that's right yeah well we did as you guys know we did the same thing as like you know
and it just you guys like synchronized yeah yeah yeah it's it's i called it here we go
i'm like are you ready i'm on it jam on it i'm about to bust so i don't know it's just like it
you know and and razor's just hilarious man she's very much like you know i'll be like because i'm
doing everything you know and i love it actually like i i'm cooking every day oh wow yeah you know and i love it actually like i'm cooking every day oh wow yeah you know like
i'm like i'm using my traeger grill and i'm like kristen watches his podcast he also has negative
stuff yeah he also yeah he's also an asshole hey take it take it down a notch right save that for
riffing on griffin he's a terror with griffin it's not riffing on griffin what would that be
so it's just me talking about myself yeah yeah riff yeah. Riffin at Griffin. My God.
She doesn't want to backhand you.
Save it for Riffin on Griffin.
No, so like Rachel doesn't like spicy.
He calls my podcast You're Welcome.
That's a great name.
I told you that from the jump.
So it's going to be that.
I'm cooking a lot.
I'm washing clothes.
I'm doing a lot of stuff.
I feel like you could have been a good nurse.
Then I say to her, I go, babe, I'm just doing all this stuff. She goes, could have been a good nurse then i say to her i go babe you know i'm just got
doing all the stuff she goes i'm making a baby it trumps everything she just drops that down
pow and i'm like damn it you better you should say you bet it better be a good kid because i'm
telling you i'm out of here he starts acting up my new name is's Paul. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me and you. Both Pauls.
Two Pauls.
My buddy Paul.
We love John Mulaney.
Fuck it.
We hate Eric Griffin.
Who?
Wait, wait.
You didn't even hear that guy's dumb podcast?
Wait until you start hanging out with the other dads.
And then problems really arise.
You realize how weird he is in LA.
Like, he has so much energy.
We're thinking about putting him on Adderall.
I'm like,
he's four. Of course he has energy.
Adderall? What the fuck are we talking about?
The cutest fucking thing, man.
Calvin is like...
Kristen wakes up with
William and Calvin
wakes up and he has the hatch.
You know the hatch thing that makes the noise?
It makes a noise so he can sleep so he doesn't hear
the rest of the house.
He can't get out of bed
too early. The rule is
when the hatch turns green,
how do you know green?
Bro, you at my house?
It can be any color. This guy just said green
and that's what it is.
That's fucking weird.
So it turns on,
it turns green
and he has to wait
to come out
and he'll come out
and every time he'll go,
the light-toned queen.
That's what he says
when he comes out, right?
So this morning
I look at the nanit,
the thing, right,
that shows him.
Does he have CT?
Why does he talk like that?
This is free, bro.
You said it like,
the light-toned queen. The light-toned queen. The light-toned queen. That's better. he talking like that? This is free, bro. Well, you said it like, the night turns green.
The light turns green.
The light turns green.
That's better.
Whatever.
Your impersonations are terrible.
They're a little off today?
They're off today.
So I look at the nat,
it was like 8.10 this morning,
and I look at my phone on the nat,
and he is in bed watching the hatch,
just waiting for it to turn green.
Dude, it was so fucking cute.
I noticed he was just watching and just waiting.
And I went in and I got him.
He is such a good boy, dude.
He's disciplined, it sounds like.
My kid would not wait.
No, my kid's fucking.
Calvin seems like the kind of kid that's going to try to operate on his brother.
You're going to walk in and he's going to have a full of scrubs.
He's going to have scrubs.
William's going to be laying down.
He's going to be like, all right, scalpel.
Calvin's going to watch this and be like, I didn't fucking sound like that.
I know.
Lightning.
This is the Golden Hour Dad podcast now.
That's not what happened.
I didn't make him sound like that
You make him sound like he has a mental retardation
No
He's three
Editor at this point right now
Replay it
Yeah replay it
The light tone green
The light tone green
No
Even that is a little
That's what he did
Even that's a little
It's not
He was that angry about it
No he's happy about it
Well then can we see that
The light tone green
He wants us to know
He's proclaiming it.
Yeah, you're so on one right now that your whole energy is like...
No, you guys don't get it.
That's fine.
What do you got for us, Nick?
All the single guys back there that have no kid experience,
there's bored to tears back there.
Whoa, beard.
Hell yeah, that's a good beard.
Get out.
And then Eric, Chris, it's the same guy, different color hair, beard, hair.
You guys know the deal, man.
It's Sully from New Jersey.
Want to know your take on the Wemby and Britney Spears video.
What do you guys think of this?
Obviously, she is where she's at in her life,
so I just want to definitely get your take on what you think of that reaction.
All right, guys, deuces.
He's a big deal.
Oh, the tall dude.
Got it.
We're in Vegas for the NBA Summer League.
The really tall dude, right?
Yeah, he's 7'5".
And he's like the next big thing.
He's like the next Tim Duncan.
Anyway, I think it's Cash.
They're working at Cash Restaurant.
Wow.
And she sees him.
She's like, oh, my God, it's Wemmy.
And she goes, it's Britney Spears.
This dude, boom, slaps her in the face.
Security guard goes, bitch, you better back up.
Who slaps her in the face?
His security guard.
Now, people said she grabbed him.
She was definitely like, hey, Wimby.
The security guard went, back up, bitch.
He just thought it was another blonde hoe
trying to get to his wiener.
Oh my God.
Okay, first of all, first of all,
she could also be on the side of the road with Chris
and you would just be like,
oh, that family is...
Yeah, she's looking tough these days.
You know we take a lot of showers.
I'm just saying it's like that...
Yeah, she looks like...
Can I tell you what I feel for her
is that there was a time
when Britney Spears
legit was is that there was a time when Britney Spears, legit,
was one of the most famous people on the planet.
Like, top 20 most famous.
Oh, bar none.
Top 10.
Maybe even top 10.
When I was 16.
In the United States, for sure.
For sure.
Could be.
You're talking about President of the United States,
Michael Jackson, Michael Jordan.
Chris D'Elia.
You know what I mean?
Britney Spears.
Justin Bieber.
That famous, right?
That's the job.
This must be the fact that she even had to go do that.
Because 20 years ago, she would have been like, oh, is that that basketball player?
He would have came to her.
Hey, she would have had a person.
No, she would have just grown like this.
And he would have been like.
He would have came to her and his dick would have been.
So the fact that she's like some weird auntie now.
Yeah, I know.
Who's chasing somebody down like, oh, Webby.
You know, it's like that must be really sucky for her.
Yeah.
You know, it must be really like, damn.
And that security guard's like, I don't know this bitch.
I'm from France.
She hasn't seen her kids in a year.
You know?
Yeah, my heart goes out to her now.
People are calling the cops to go check on her.
Dude, remember she had kids with Kevin Federline?
Instagram posts.
Kevin Federline, what a come up.
Mary's just in the back was like, yeah, I'll fuck her.
And then fucking three kids later.
I know.
But, bro, this is the thing about like, you're not equipped to deal with that fame.
Nobody is.
It's just so.
Has it worked out for anybody?
Like, on that level?
I don't know, man.
Like, I saw a video of the other...
Of, like, them interviewing Tom Cruise the other day,
and I'm just like,
where is his mind?
Like, and he's a guy that we think has it all together.
But, like,
that level of fame
is so...
It fucks you up.
Humans aren't supposed to be that famous.
Even a little bit.
Like, I have to fucking talk about it in my therapy,
like, when I have a fucking day where people are, like,
doing things to me, like, coming up to me on the street
or whatever the fuck, and, like, I have to put a smile on my face
and I'm in a bad mood.
You know, it's like, a little bit of that is hard.
Like, I can't imagine that at fucking 19.
Like, not being able to go out to bro to the
theater with your friends you can't go out to eat without getting bombarded yeah man it's tough
times that's i don't like that's why i never you know it's like when workaholics would at it was
at its height yeah i i guess i was already older you know so i i always had a thought yeah i had
like you know what i'm not gonna ever let this
right a thing for me don't let the fame go to your head it's gonna go away right you know right
so like so mature yeah that's an older approach but it's also like when people miss it when it's
gone like these young kids like even john moran it's like he's 24 with 300 million dollars in
the bank some of the best best players on earth he's he's gonna fuck up dude there. There's no blueprint to go, hey, man, when you have this many eyeballs,
you've got to act this way.
He's like, what the fuck do you want me to do?
Look at Bieber, dude.
I'm averaging Bieber.
He's playing in Toronto on the drums on the street.
Usher's like, this kid's cool.
Blows him up.
And then he went through his phase, unfortunately.
He turned it all around.
It's amazing.
And who knows how he's doing.
Who knows how he's doing, though?
I don't know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's a great kid and such a talent.
But humans aren't made to be that famous, especially with social media now.
So back in the day, we'd see, you know, whatever.
People get famous.
But they weren't dealing with it like we are now.
I know.
Social media.
We weren't in depth into people's personal business.
True, true, true.
weren't in depth into people's personal business. I mean if like
if Michael Jordan had to deal with
social media
I don't know if he would have
been as famous.
Or as beloved.
He wouldn't be as beloved because they said he was
a complete nightmare like an asshole.
Yeah but regardless of that I'm saying like he also
was like. No. He was a savage.
Everyone thought. Yeah.
Dude there were people at home
that were like fuck michael jordan right but they had nowhere to that's another thing that you know
i mean you like this you had to like write a letter yeah yeah you wrote the balls and they're
like yeah whatever right yeah you know and it wasn't even 140 characters they could write a
seven page and then you didn't even get it imagine you're imagine you're you have a person uh-huh
yeah you didn't get it yeah exactly who's like yeah i got like 10 hate letters you want to see it
no but what's the way social media is it would be like when you wake up yeah your your managers
they're holding the letters over your head and they're just like read this yeah you have to read
this yeah that's my life that's what's that you know it's like that's what social media is horrible
when you put it that way man yeah so you know it, you know, I don't know. It's not good.
It's absolutely, and we don't know the long-term kind of side effects.
I think they're starting to know.
It's starting to come, and suicide's up, and then even, we're grown-ass men.
Sometimes it'll get me depressed.
You know, you're like, fuck.
Well, I can say this, man.
Not everyone's equipped for the negative consequences.
No.
Not everybody's equipped for it.
I don't think anybody is, though.
Well, no, there are people that can phase it out.
There are people that, you know, I mean, it affects them.
Who, though?
Give me a good example.
Him.
Yeah.
I mean, well, well.
He dealt with it.
I did, but it was.
No, no, no.
What I'm saying is.
He goes to therapy every day.
I understand that, but you still have to live your life.
You're providing.
Yeah, he's not going to jump off a fucking building,
but he was close,
and I was right there with you.
There's people who are not equipped at all
to even deal with a tweet about them.
They're not even equipped
to deal with the amount of...
You get bombarded, man.
I was talking to a comic the other day, a famous comic,
and he was just like, man, I get one comment, dude,
and it's just like...
I mean, people are more resilient than they...
Individuals are more resilient than they give themselves credit for
if they let themselves be.
But yeah, dude, I mean, to be honest,
it was touch and go there for a while.
Going through my shit, I was like, oh,
oh man, this would be just way
easier if none of this shit was happening. And
if none of, and I know how to make none
of it happen is to just fucking go away.
And, you know, there are people that have
By deleting
the apps, you mean? No, that's not what I
mean. Yeah. But there are people
that have like, dude, I was watching a show
Love Island, right? Like three people, four people have committed suicide. The host committed suicide because they were so mean, yeah. But there are people that have, like, dude, I was watching a show, Love Island, right?
Dude, like three people, four people have committed suicide.
The host committed suicide because they were so mean to her.
I know.
She's gorgeous.
And if I hadn't gone through all my shit, I would have been like, oh, they're weak.
But, bro, it's another story, man.
I'm with you.
When I see it now, I go, I get it.
Dude, my heart, I feel for these people.
Yeah, I'll see it.
And I go, I kind of get it now
I'll tell you what
I talk about this
On my podcast
I've talked about it
A few times
But remember when
Like Logan Paul
Was going through his shit
And I was tweeting at him
And that thing went viral
And I was making fun of him
About all that
I regret that I did that man
I regret that I did that
It was a joke
And I
You know
But like
Bro
When somebody goes through
Something like that
It is so hard for them.
And you can see it's hard for them.
And these people who just want to make a quick joke about something, it's just not worth it, bro.
And that's me talking about an older – I'm older now.
I went through my shit.
But I think that this is the data that we didn't know about.
That the data you're talking about, we don't know how it's affecting people.
We're starting to understand how it affects people. also think it's the culture like now like i was
i won't say who it is i was in the green room i was at the laugh factory and these guys were
making fun of matt rife and i don't know those guys that well but we were in the circle back
there i was like the fuck are you doing what are you they're losers i was like you know i mean
tickets i do tell oh if it's about tickets i go no no you gotta realize man he was doing comedy
way before this
he seemed like wanting out i'm like you know how hard that dude's worked and you guys are gonna
hit say it's just whoever blows up they're gonna talk shit man i mean it's just it's just how it
but i think it's a culture where everybody wants because i remember i remember when i go to the
comic store like whoever it was name like i remember bert special came out one time
and bert's my boy man i remember i walked in the rest of these people are his quote unquote boys. Yep.
Like,
you see Bert's special?
Yeah.
Yeah, it was great.
Like, no, shitty.
Any special.
What?
They go,
even if it was not good.
It doesn't matter who it is.
If it's your friend,
you go ride or die.
Ride or die.
I don't even watch them.
I just go,
it was great.
Yeah, I don't watch them.
I don't watch them.
I go,
it was my boy.
I loved it.
So Girls was fantastic.
That's the last one I've watched.
I just watched it. I was just, it's so funny you say love it. So Girls was fantastic. That's the last one I've watched. I just watched that.
I was just so funny you say that.
I was just about to say, I was just about to say,
I was like, I really enjoyed that.
I hit him up and I was like, yo, my wife and I are watching.
Fantastic.
So that's a good one.
Fantastic.
I watch zero specials.
I've only seen.
That's the only one I watch.
And then Big J's.
I've only seen Chris Rock's, the one where he did the tambourine.
The second one? Not the one with Will Smith. The live one? Chris Rock's, the one where he did the tambourine. Tambourine?
The second one?
Not the one with Will Smith.
The live one?
Oh, the one. No, no, no.
Did you watch the second version of Tambourine?
Because that shit is fire.
Yeah, what the fuck?
He redid it.
I don't understand.
I don't care why he did it.
I'm just telling you.
I saw the first version.
I like it.
No, the second one's better.
The second one's like, oh, this is vintage rock.
It's the same shit, no?
No.
Oh. Well, then why didn't he just make a new special?
I think it was just like.
Just enjoy it though, right?
My theory is.
No.
I mean, I do.
I would.
But I don't understand why you.
Why didn't you call it something else?
My theory is the culture and whatever was going on.
That when they first put it out, they were probably like, well, let's not put this joke out.
Let's not put this.
And then time went on and he was like, you know what? That shit was fire. We cut this and put it Let's not put this. And then time went on, and he was like, you know what?
That shit was fire.
We cut this and put it out the way I want, and then this is it.
So it's like a remastered.
It's how it should have been.
Weird.
Well, you're not famous.
Who cares?
No, no, no.
I get it.
It's just interesting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, let's take a little break, because Patreon, dude, it's all the rage.
Everyone's talking about it.
Our Patreon is lit.
The Golden Hour Podcast. Patreon Patreon is lit The Golden Hour Podcast
Patreon.com slash the golden hour podcast
It's so good
You get two new episodes every freaking month
Also you get the ones that you see on YouTube
Ad free
Oh dude what?
That's a deal
People are freaking out dude
People are freaking out
Get on with it
Also we need your submissions
You guys make the show.
So whatever submission you have, your worst date ever, your first date.
Whatever it is.
Yeah, we built this city.
Whatever it is, send it in.
We will rip your ride, your animal.
Send us your worst dad stories, your mom stories.
We got three dads now.
Eric, announce the news.
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What's up?
Send us submissions submissions the golden hour
subs at gmail.com love you guys uh that was i think it's the culture though like even if let's
say you watch the girl special or birch or big j's like even i mean we're a team and you have
your voice but if you came here and you were shitting on them i wouldn't allow it that's you
can't have that culture you know i'm saying like i don't like no one in here has ever come on like do you see this especially you shit onto your views or whatever well not on
but even off yeah don't even have your opinions but you don't come up in fucking trash someone
if you know them especially it's like yeah it's well what i've learned uh very clearly is
like you know we always talk about the brotherhood of comedians but it's a
brotherhood of convenience
I mean there's no brotherhood yeah
Tony Hinchcliffe does it best I wish I thought this
he goes it's Tony Hinchcliffe
and quote unquote and my friends right now
my friends right now
that's what it is
that sucks but like I say just to
put a stamp on it it's just
I just think that not everyone is equipped for that sort of Britney Spears fame.
And that's why that bitch got hit.
But it's like, you know, the other stuff that comes with it, you think it offsets.
And it probably doesn't sometimes.
You know, if you have $100 million in the bank from what you did,
and then so the tradeoff is now, you know – No privacy you you don't know even how to put a stamp on a letter or you don't know
how to shop at the grocery store or you don't know how to you can't you can't be out in public
if that's the trade-off i don't know some people say well i'd take that trade-off until they're
you know i'm i'm around i they're probably the most famous family on the planet around them all
the time i tell my girl i'm like look at that at that, man. That is a curse, dude.
You would not want that life.
At least they leaned into it.
Security everywhere all the time.
They can't go anywhere.
Anything they do, it's a nightmare, man.
And for their kids, it's not going well.
That is a curse, man.
They have all the money in the world, but it's not worth it.
Tell my girl that all the time.
That's what they got to deal with.
Nightmare.
Talking about Rogan?
No.
I know. I'm joking. Rogan does it. No, he does it. That's what they got to deal with. Nightmare. Talking about Rogan? I know. I'm joking.
Rogan does it.
No, he does it. He's also older.
Yeah, but when you're... Listen.
When you're a comic, and this is partly the reason why people survive
things, even yourself, is that
when you're a comic,
coming up, you're so
frugal and you're so like,
how am I going to make this? The steps that you're feeling, allugal and you're so like how am i gonna make this and the steps that
you you're feeling all the steps so when it happens you just you you don't you don't change
that much yeah yeah that's why the comics that's why the ones that do change i just kind of go what
why are you acting it's so weird bro it's so weird man like like it's so odd man and it's so obvious
too i know it's like you know all of us can tell right
I don't know it's insecurity and shit
Like I mean god bless certain people
They've always been the same
Like it's like they never change
And it's like that's awesome
But then there are people that are just like
They start acting like their shit don't stink
And it's like bro you're not better than
Fucking trying to make 8 people in a room laugh
Like you're not better than that Bro you make eight people in a room laugh. Like, you're not better than that.
Bro, you came from that shit.
Like, you'll still eat shit in that situation.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, like, why are you acting like you're better than a room?
Like, it's just you're not.
So, yeah, it's odd.
I mean, you know, you can joke about, oh, I'm the shit.
Brian Callen does it all the time.
I do it.
But, like, bro, comics are supposed to be real as fuck.
That's what makes them successful.
You know?
Unless it's a flash in a pan fucking, you know,
There's no longevity to that.
Carrot Top type thing.
Although Carrot Top is fucking killing it.
I was about to say.
He's had more success than all of us.
Why don't we go that way?
But I'm saying for the most part, I mean, there's outliers.
But for the most part, like, you walk around fucking lying and faking the funk.
It's like it's not going to work.
It's not going to work long term, I think.
You're right.
But I don't know.
What was this, a young John Austin Green?
Speaking of Gil Tony.
Just a hobbit.
Hey, long time no see.
At least for Brendan anyway.
I think I was on episode 10 of King and the Sting back when I was living in a van.
I'm doing a little better now. I've got a little apartment out here
in the deep East Austin uncharted territory
with the cows and the new Teslas rolling off the line.
As you can see,
even trying to maybe get a little podcast studio going.
I just need about $3,000 worth of cameras
and microphones and stuff.
Anyway, I hate to only have a question for Brendan,
but I saw that Casa Bonita is officially open.
So I just want to know, Brendan, you got any Casa Bonita stories?
What's that?
Ever have a birthday there?
Maybe go crush some Casa Bonita with the football team after a big win?
Let's hear it.
Buzz, buzz, soar, jam on it, man.
I love jam on it.
That might be it.
That guy's so well-spoken.
First of all, the weirdest set of posters in the back there.
There's like gorillas.
Gorillas.
Purple rain.
And gorillas.
Yeah.
What's the deal with-
So, Casabonita is a Mexican restaurant in Denver.
Okay.
And it's in the rural Denver.
It's awful food.
That's a pretty specific question.
But it's awful food.
Okay.
But they have like, it's this whole experience.
They have cliff divers inside the thing. Inside what thing? Inside the restaurant. They have cliff divers inside the thing.
Inside what thing?
Inside the restaurant.
They have cliff divers.
This feels like a shop show.
No, look at it.
It looks insane.
They have cliff divers.
What?
I don't understand.
But what's dope is it's always been like a staple in Denver.
It was kind of a joke.
I had birthdays there.
My mom, on my ninth birthday, in order to see the cliff divers which
i was so into as a kid for whatever reason you had to eat the food my mom's gangster and she's
like oh we just here my son it's his birthday his friends are here we just want to see the
cliff divers and they're like no you guys gotta buy food my mom's like i'm not buying the fucking
food you guys like then you can't come in she's like then we're not coming in i was like mom
it's my birthday i was crying and shit but what's dope about this is the south park creators who are cu alum shout out to them
bought casabonita oh i heard about this and they're not doing tips they're just paying a flat
about 30 an hour but they're putting all the money into casabonita because casabonita has
been in south park a bunch of times really because they're from oh right okay yeah well
that must be great so dope i'm just saying it must be great to be where you can do that.
So dope.
You go to your favorite restaurant.
I always want to...
I guess my thing is who fucking cares?
About Caspernino?
No, about, honestly, any of this.
Who cares about any of it?
Really?
Who thinks about that?
Oh, I know what this is.
Oh, the wet man hating on Casperita because it's not about you.
No, I don't think it's shitty what's happening.
I'm not hating on it.
They were shut down forever.
Go to ChrisDeLeo.com.
I will be in Charlotte and Nashville.
Hey, guys.
Zanies, Rosemont, Chicago.
Zanies and Rosemont, four shows, July 21st and 22nd.
I will be in Chicago.
I know it's summertime.
The club is sweating me right now.
They're like, what's going on?
But it's like it's summertime in Chicago.
Summer's hard.
Summer's hard.
So I need you guys out there.
You mean with the Cubs?
Yeah.
With the sun in that awful town.
Yeah.
So when the weather's nice.
But hey, Chicago, Rosemont, 21st and 22nd.
Come see me.
And I got a bunch of dates coming up.
So we got Shopping Friends July 28th at the Ice House.
Hopefully you guys are in town.
We got the Ice House.
That's 8 p.m. show, Shopping Friends at the Ice House.
And then August, we just added, what is it?
Ohio.
Omaha.
Omaha.
Liberty Town Square.
All that shit.
And then we're also adding Phoenix in August.
I actually just added.
All that shit.
You know how on Instagram you can change what – you can have a link.
Before my cascanita.
You can put a link, but you can put different words.
Yeah, yeah.
So I put chrisilia.com.
And it clicks and you go to my type move that's funny um i i just i i i just added a brea two brea dates and two irvine dates uh that i haven't posted yet but they'll be on there might be on
there at this point when this comes out but yeah um yeah. Yeah, so I'll be in OC.
Shout out to Cas Bonita, though.
I went there in 1997.
You went there?
I had four birthdays there.
And then also my Little League weigh-ins were there.
They patched the fat kids.
They patched for football.
Yeah, but why the weigh-ins?
Yeah, for weigh-ins.
They were filming.
I used to go to Shakey's.
That's where I would go When I was a kid
Did Shakey's have cliff divers?
No that's the thing
Yeah
What successful
Cartoon makers
Bought that
All we had was mojos
I'm on the wait list
I'm going to Denver next week
But I don't know
Titting Casbonitas?
Yeah yeah
There's a wait list?
If it's open
It's massive
It's like
It's a nostalgia thing
It's very campy
As a kid it was dope
To see cliff divers It's so dope in there, dude.
But, okay.
Think of like, you know when you go inside Pirates of the Caribbean, the ride?
It's like that.
The entire restaurant.
But not Pirates of the Caribbean.
I get that.
Why are you on a wait list for it?
Because it's the new hotness.
The South Park guys bought it and put all this money into it to make it even more lit,
you piece of shit.
They closed because of COVID.
Brandon's mad.
He's like, this is my childhood. Yeah, man. in my heart so they're okay so it's gonna have a
did you go to some bullshit place in new jersey when you're a kid i did and i don't care about it
you're not gonna buy it new jersey doesn't have anything where'd you go yeah that's true jersey
shore that's true yeah no i went to yeah no i i get it yeah i His dad took him to Atlantic City while he was having mob boss meetings.
Big Billy?
Yeah, Big Bill.
Hey, here's a couple grand.
Go have fun.
Just Chris at the crap table.
But like this?
Have you performed out there?
Where?
In Atlantic City?
Yeah, it's interesting.
It's like a weird shitty Vegas kind of.
It is weird.
There was the Borgata.
Well, that's like Reno.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, but yeah, true.
But there's something about the jersey of it.
Yeah, that's what makes it.
It's cool, but it's just a weird vibe.
And the Borgata is so big.
Like the weekend before with Sebastian, I was like, I should not be in this.
Reno is just
Reno and Atlantic City
It's like Reno especially
You have Vegas
Yeah I know
When you decide
To go to Reno
For the Vegas experience
You're saying
I'm broke You know what whenever i think of reno yeah whenever
i think of reno i think that movie smoking aces oh yeah yeah that movie great movie terrible
it's truly oh i got a good recommendation for you though you guys might you might you might
like it you like what terrible shit but you might like this the terminal list what's that with chris
pratt oh yeah i would watch on. On the Navy SEALs?
Yeah, I just saw that.
I already saw that one.
I talked about it on Riffin with Griffin
every Wednesday live.
Riffin on Griffin.
No, it's not Riffin on Griffin.
That's a different podcast
where I'm just like,
Eric Griffin, let's talk about it.
You didn't like the Terminal List?
No, I did.
I liked it.
Oh, thank God.
What I like about Amazon
when they do things like that
is they go,
all right,
instead of making a movie,
we're going to shoot a... Because they did the same thing
with Jack Reacher.
Jack Reacher, same thing.
They just do a whole...
It's been out. Terminalist didn't just
come out. It was like eight months ago.
What? I talked about it.
I missed that episode.
Don't worry.
I'll see it. I missed the shop show too. I didn't. I watched that episode. Don't worry. I'll see you. I missed the shop show, too.
I didn't.
I watched them both.
No, you don't.
I watched both of them.
Kristen watches them, but you don't.
Terminalist Banal a hot second?
Yeah.
I'm still going to post about it today.
No, it's good.
You should watch Jack Reacher.
That's a good one.
I'm out.
It's okay.
No, no, no.
The guy from The Office?
No. No, the big-ass dude. I like that dude.'s a good one. I'm out. It's okay. No, no, no. The guy from The Office? No.
No, the big-ass dude.
I like that dude.
But from the books.
I know.
That's what he's supposed to look like.
Don't be...
I know, man.
Don't be saying stuff that I learned fucking three years ago, okay?
I don't want to be hearing that stuff.
You should know that I knew that three years ago.
Did you?
Yeah, when the fucking Jack Reacher movie came out.
It was probably longer than three years ago.
I don't want to...
Tom Cruise, the last Tom Cruise and shit. I thought the probably longer than three years ago Tom Cruise I don't care
If Tom Cruise was three foot five
He has the presence of Shaquille O'Neal
What's up
Jack Reacher
I thought the terminal list was a true story
I had to google
Is terminal list a true story
There's no way the government's killing fucking Navy SEALs.
You know?
Who do you think thought it was a true story?
Did that make it better for you?
Alex Jones says it.
No, someone who recommended it to me.
Someone who recommended it to me.
I thought they said that.
Alex Jones recommended it to you?
No, a guy who knows his shit.
He's like, you got to see Terminal List.
So Alex Jones recommended it to you?
No, no.
Nah, bro.
That is my boy, though.
It is?
Listen. That'd be great. That is my boy, though. It is. Listen.
That would actually be a hilarious thing.
You get movie recommendations from Alex Jones.
Hey, you got to check this out.
Because your whole thought would be like, ooh.
He's a Yussi Sines true story.
Don't drink water anymore.
Water kills him.
So hold on.
I don't care about um anything any show the thing about it is
oh cool man uh terminal is this is terminal is the thing that made me realize how crazy
it is that nobody gives a fuck about tv shows or movies anymore because this was everywhere before it came out
i didn't see anything it was everywhere billboards on social media everywhere you couldn't fucking
you go to sleep they bought shit in ads in your eyelids i missed all of it everywhere and then a
week after the shit came out nobody was fucking talking about it there's too many shows it can
be with it's just next but it was just crazy i don't even know if it was a hit or not or what.
It's so good.
I don't even remember if I saw it or not.
I think I saw it.
I hate that.
Season two is coming because there's five books.
I looked it up, and they've renewed for season two already.
Same with Silo.
So it must have been good.
Silo is good.
It must have been good.
It's fucking intense.
I got friends that say they don't like Silo.
Well. They're monsters but they say that um if you want to say silo isn't
great okay i i still think it's good and fun to watch but but they're saying that it looks cheap
and that the uh the the set decoration is terrible and so your friends are boring just a second just a second so two chris's
friends who are saying this go ahead so in a post-apocalyptic underground silo i'm out these
motherfuckers want what drapes what do they want no i think they want christmas lights looks like
hey i want you to call them and let them know from me. Yeah. Fuck off. Yeah. Yeah, I'm with Eric on this.
They're idiots.
You're making me feel more confident.
It looks cheap.
They've been living in an underground style for a hundred years.
I think you're missing the point.
I think the point is it looks like it was done like theater, like a low production.
That actress is phenomenal.
No, she's great.
I know that.
You know who's terrible? It's great. I know that. You know who's terrible?
It's Common.
I like Common.
No, no, no, no.
Common reminds me of not the acting style or level of acting,
but Common reminds me of De Niro in the sense that De Niro's De Niro in every movie.
No, bro, you're crazy.
To even utter those words.
I know what you're making a point.
I get it.
You get the point I'm making?
Common's that guy every time.
Common smoking aces?
He was that way in John Wick.
Common is a...
He's that guy.
I don't...
Well, I don't like...
You don't believe him.
No, dude.
I do.
I believe him.
I like him.
And look, I think Common's cool.
I think he's handsome.
I like his vibe.
Good actor.
No.
Right?
But the only reason is because he's not an actor.
That's why.
He's a rapper.
He is an actor.
How dare you?
He's been an actor now for 15 years.
We're talking about Common, right?
Yeah.
What's going on, guys?
Okay, who's a great actor then that you think right now?
Is 50 Cent a good actor?
Come on, dude. League's better than Common. that you think right now is 50 cent a good actor come on
league's better than common are you kidding me wow wow what 50 cent performance are you gonna
put up against common the one where you got real skinny the one he got really skinny nobody watched
thieves see this is right when you know you know what before you talk movies with anyone
you have to actually ask them,
what do you think is a good movie?
So then you can gauge how ridiculous.
This is why I've always wondered why you talk movies with them.
I'm the shit, dude.
Nope, you're out.
I'm done with you.
Nope, new rule.
What else you got?
I talk about movies, and I do it in a great way.
By the way, you guys brought up signs.
Can I just say this?
Easy now.
If you're the science team of this alien race, you should be fired.
Because you're saying, hey, let's go to the acid world.
It's 90% water, yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, we're allergic to acid.
Hey, we found an acid planet.
It wasn't that good.
But they're in like Idaho or some shit.
No, it doesn't matter.
Like landlocked.
You don't go to a planet
that is 80%
water and you're allergic to that and you
go to this planet? Just check things out.
They didn't think they were throwing it in their face. Maybe they were
cool. You can see it from outside in outer
space. It's all blue. Head science
officer right here.
He was also the
IT guy
in Independence Day.
IT guy.
That is funny.
Yeah, IT guy.
What else do you have?
Hold on.
No, no, no.
Fuck off with this shit.
Signs is bad.
Signs is bad.
Signs is bad?
It's such a good fucking movie.
Unbreakable is amazing.
His two best movies are obviously the first two.
The first two. The first two.
The Sixth Sense.
Sixth Sense and Signs.
But Split was great.
Split.
Split's good.
No, Split was great.
I actually like The Village.
I don't remember it.
Yeah, they're in The Village.
I know, but I don't remember it.
Split was fucking good, man.
Split was great.
Split was great.
The guy's great.
Wait, what else, though, dude?
Did he do The Devil 2?
The one where they're in the elevator?
That shit is lit.
Oh, bro, that was terrible, bro.
The Devil in the elevator?
Dude, you're a moron.
No, no.
Hey.
I'm sorry.
No, please.
That's okay.
To call me a moron because I didn't like that fucking movie.
I know.
No, but that just.
That came from the movie.
That came from the soul. The movie of it is like, you didn't like The Devil? What I know. No, but that just... That came from the movie. That came from the soul.
The movie of it is like,
you didn't like the devil?
What kind of fucking idiot?
So bad.
Like it's Shawshank.
Have you seen Airbender?
No, I turned it off.
No, man.
It's one of the worst.
Shyamalan,
I like watching any Shyamalan movie
because he takes big swings
and when he hits, it's good.
And even when it's bad it's those are
my favorite kind of directors because it's like oh this was really bad to me a few times yeah
but boy did he hit his thing that he does that little that's the thing you got to stop doing
that you got to stop doing that you can't do that but oh i'll say this i did like his show on apple
tv yeah it was good yeah i didn't see the last season,
but you're not missing anything.
That's what I heard.
Yeah. The first couple of seasons,
I was like,
I really liked this.
But then he went,
it went to a place where I'm like,
ah,
they were,
they were reaching.
Maybe things don't need to go five.
I'd love to see this guy and Chris at a headbutting contest.
We've talked to him before.
A lot.
He's great.
Yeah,
he's great.
What up golden hour boys.
It is Noah from Nashville and I have a sour or power for you uh this one is
swimming in the pool with a shirt on uh you know growing up as a fat kid this was definitely a
power move to me i thought it was kind of like i'm wearing armor uh and that nobody would know
i'm fat if i'm wearing this shirt but a huge mistake you quickly learn when you get in the
water the shirt sticks
to you and it kind of makes you look more fat
and just lets everyone know that you're
insecure.
Kind of a sour move.
But as a fat kid,
you think it's a power move. What do you guys
think? Eric, do you swim
with the shirt on?
Yeah, let me know. Love you guys.
The most subtle... Wait, wait, wait. Until the end. And look at the look on uh yeah let me know love you guys the most subtle it wasn't really until
the end look at the look on his face you piece of shit man uh let me actually let me actually
get your back for a little bit that is that's the worst kind of hair you can have right there is the long hair that is uh curly
but has no body to it well the that's the worst kind of hair he has to cut his hair the salon he
goes to they have pictures yeah and like that's number one number yours is number two mine has
mine has fucking volume.
His is – Give me that.
It's pointing to an Afghan hound.
No, his would look good as a mullet with the curl in the back.
What he's doing now is a little awkward.
It would look very old school like John Crook mullet if he did that.
John Crook.
To answer his question, it's like I wasn't –
I didn't get fat until in adulthood.
Until I tore my ACL playing basketball and then I didn't get fat until in adulthood. Until I tore my ACL playing basketball.
And then I didn't have insurance.
Playing a victim, dude.
Actually, it was crazy.
You got a row machine.
Blaming on society.
You know what's funny, too?
Working out is far right.
When the trolls hit me up, they'll be like, oh, you're old and fat.
And I go, no.
But my thing is like, oh, what?
you're old and fat.
And I go,
no,
but my thing is like,
Oh,
what am I?
So when I've been shopping at the petite store and nothing fits,
are you telling me it's because I'm fat?
Yeah.
What?
It's like,
fuck off,
man.
You're not,
you're not, you're not hurting my feelings.
I'm fucking fat.
It's a sheep mentality.
They can't come up.
It's either easier to destroy than create.
Be funny.
If you're going to call me fat, be this guy.
Be witty about it.
That was great.
Be witty about it.
Be funny.
I'll laugh.
It's so, it's so, it's so, like, dude.
I'm 51.
This is a choice, bitch.
But if they're witty, they wouldn't be haters, you know?
Like, it's just a sheep regurgitating.
I've been walking every day with Rachel.
I am, like, now I'm back onto my rowing machine because it it's like if I'm going to have a kid, I want to survive.
You know why?
So the pictures.
That kid's going to have those pictures for the rest of their life, and you're all like tits and stuff.
I told Rachel this yesterday.
That's not rude.
It's a little rude, but you know.
I said to her, I said, you know what?
Tits, small penis, you know, your pussy underneath, you know?
They're going to have those pics.
Really?
I feel like.
Well, I'm just saying that's what it is.
I feel like the three of you.
That's what he said.
And the fucking peanut gallery over here laughing.
Yeah, you don't have a pussy under your balls, you know?
It's just making a joke.
Maybe.
It could be a hermaphrodite.
Dude, Eric's a hermaphrodite.
Let's start that.
I said to Rachel, I was like, I want to get in shape because if we have a daughter,
I don't want her to be into fat guys.
And nothing will get you in shape like a kid.
I was like, your dad messed up.
He ruined you.
Yeah.
That's funny.
But also, you do, if you have a daughter, you want them to be into fat guys.
You do.
They're good guys.
No, I don't want that. Fat guys are good guys. Some of them. Eric's great. they don't they're good guys no i don't want that fat guys are good
guys some of them eric's great yeah because they're some fat guys who are assholes they're
jolly yeah you either they're jolly you're either jolly he's taking things i don't like where any
of this is going what do i mean one of the hardest i laughed as a kid was there was a Garfield comic strip and
and Garfield was
walking with
to this
with this fat guy
and he was like
kind of
I don't know if he was making fun of him or what
and then the next comic was
the fat guy
pummeled him into the ground
and then the next slide was
Garfield says
I thought fat people
were supposed to be jolly
it's so stupid dude
like who and so I fucking always think fat people are supposed to be jolly
but they're often not because they really have a lot of demons yeah there's demons i don't swim
i don't swim with my shirt off i'm a shirt on i don't do that anymore i don't think i
fucking now at this point yeah yeah i don't at this point now it's cool to own own it yeah people
i don't i don't i don't really care. By the way –
I always used to be insecure because I had a thing when I was a kid called Hirschsprungs.
And it's an intestinal issue where they have to cut your intestines and then sew them together.
So when I was a baby, I had a colostomy.
That's kind of sad.
Yeah.
So I have this big scar.
Oh, man.
So it's terrible when you're fat because then it looks like I have a front booty.
You know what I mean?
Because, like, the scar, so when you get fat, it just kind of, you know what I mean?
So it's like.
Folds in.
Yeah, it takes a shot like this.
Splash it on it.
Stupid ass, dude.
So.
There it is.
So, oh Oh no way dude
That was Kevin
Found that
Oh wow
Good job Kevin
So what does he do though
He
What makes it happen
Why is he mean to him
Yeah why
Cause Garfield was mean
Garfield was gangster
Yeah he was a little
Garfield loved hot lasagna
He was an ass
Weird
What was
I don't even know why he hit him.
Yeah, I don't either.
Because he was being a dick.
Oh, he's falling too close behind.
Maybe he farted or something.
Why is that guy in football gear?
He's making fun of him.
Oh, he's making fun of him.
He's doing what the lady's doing and he's doing what the guy...
Yeah.
I totally remember that red shirt and the yellow pants, man.
Unbelievable.
If my kid was fat, I'd be like, don't shirt.
It just gives you
away like you're gonna blend in and take it from that poker player there's nothing you can do now
like it's like that's the thing you realize you fool yourself you put on stuff and you're like
you're looking in the mirror like okay maybe then maybe. And then it's just like, no, man. It's really about whatever your confidence level is in yourself.
If you sold merch that said, I'm fat, deal with it.
Dude, you would be, you, boom.
Rich.
Yeah, but I don't necessarily want to.
I know, of course.
If you're like the Lizzo of comedy.
If anyone sold merch that way.
I'm not saying just you, but like.
I don't want to.
I just, because I feel like I don't.
First of all, let me say this.
I don't like this.
Right.
You know, I know why people are
most of us who are fat of a certain age it's because you are comfortable and lazy
so okay it's so easy it's so hard to of course change your i thought being in shape was a far
right thing it's like being a diet to to like uh you know eat right stuff eat the right stuff and
like because then you you feel like you're not having what you want you know what i mean yeah
you're not having what you want but but so so i i i totally feel you and i get it um but you don't
like you exercise right uh not as much as i should but i'm i'm starting to get back into it
but also but yeah it's 90% diet.
I know that, but that was going to be my next question is you don't really – your diet
isn't terrible, right?
Yeah, it's not terrible, but when you're at a certain age, you're – what are you
saying?
No, I'm saying, hey, like –
But my diet –
But my –
Mine – sometimes I go on and off, too.
Yeah, but you also, like, when you both have trained yourself consistently to work out,
so your bodies are always ready to do that, you know?
Okay, yeah.
I, like, I have to get, that's the hard part.
The hard part is getting into that groove.
Right, right, right.
It's like getting a Titanic out, fixing it up.
Once you get into that thing where your body's now used to getting up early
and you need that walk.
It's very hard.
It's hard to make that a habit.
To retrain your brain.
It is.
It's so hard.
This is also naturally just a stick.
I am, right.
Well, genetics plays a big factor, but I wonder how different our diet really is,
is all.
Oh, I mean, at a certain point.
What's your go-to, Eric?
Let's see how, you know.
Well, I'll get fat with you right now.
What's your go-to?
No, no.
It's not about.
Chris can't relate to this.
I will, dude.
It's not about the food I eat.
It's about the quantity.
Got it.
Okay.
What are we talking about here?
No, like if I go to a restaurant, the thing is, it's like if I get, you know, if I get like an appetizer.
Yeah.
And then if I'm eating with Rachel.
Right.
We get an appetizer.
So then I'm eating the appetizer.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then she's not going to finish her food.
But what's the appetizer?
You're talking about like some potato?
Oh, whatever it is.
Skins?
I'm eating most of it.
Got it.
That's what I'm saying.
But what's your go-to for the app?
I do that sometimes, though.
What's the app go-to?
Like Awesome Blossom, right?
I think he's just hungry, honestly. I think so. No, I'm trying to describe it. Can you describe it, please? I don't like that sometimes, though. What's the app go to? Like Awesome Blossom, right? I think he's just hungry, honestly.
I think so.
Can you describe it, please?
I don't like that kind of stuff.
Again, for me, it really is about quantity.
Yeah.
I do that shit, too, though.
I eat Kristen's meal.
The thing is...
This is genetic, Chris.
Yeah, I know.
You're right.
Again, you're also burning calories all the time. Yeah, I know. Yeah, you're right. You're built like a fucking brick shithouse, right?
Again, you're also burning calories all the time.
I'm telling you, it's like- You do not want to see me at the gym.
Being active is important.
You don't want to see me at the gym.
I see on the gram.
You're doing good work.
I go sweaty, man.
What's I'm saying?
Well, you're born sweaty.
Okay.
See, now that's the thing that we
we brought it all back yep i do not look greasy yeah you do look like you were just birthed
here's eric getting some activity in this was a in the wild cats in the wild
where That's one of the best ones, dude.
That's so good.
That's hilarious.
It's better when it's not really dead on and it's just funny.
You know, but speaking of losing weight, like, you know, Chin used to be 300-something pounds.
What?
He always goes 288.
You were 300.
Be cool.
You were in a chin.
He was the whole neck.
That's unbelievable.
But it's all about, you. But it's all about diet.
Chin doesn't work out.
300, bro.
What's up, daddy?
And I was shorter, too.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, because you're growing.
Whoa.
So he looked so good.
Felt like Yokozuna.
Wow.
Shouldn't you speak Yokozuna?
He had a girl in his lap.
Yeah.
And it just looked like he was going to eat her.
She was scared.
She looked like a puppet.
It's not even a joke.
It looked like a puppet.
I didn't know that.
He was like Jeff Dunham, but for Korea.
At prom, huh?
And then Keto George used to be 400 something pounds.
Right, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, I'm saying he can do it.
Now, Eric's not even close to those guys.
No, no, no.
What are we talking about here?
What are you doing, dude? I didn't do it. What I'm saying is that do it. Now, Eric's not even close to those guys. No, no, no. No, what are we talking about here? What are you doing, dude?
I didn't do it.
What I'm saying is that's when it's the hardest.
Yeah, uh-huh.
100%.
You're right.
Yeah.
You're a piece of shit.
I caught that little veil.
I said, wait, no, he's 180.
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
Why is that bad?
So rude.
Get rid of that one.
No, I like it.
I'm the heaviest I've ever been right now.
This Russell Okung, former NFL player, he's been doing –
he's on day 35 of a 40-day water-only fast.
Okay, well.
The discipline it would take.
That's inhuman level of discipline, and those guys are legit. I hate this when people say this, but that is – That's inhuman level of discipline.
And those guys are legit.
I hate this when people say this.
But that is... That's another level.
He's built different.
Right.
I mean, that's insane.
He played in the NFL and he's one of the best to ever do it.
You're talking about a different mentality.
Only water for three, five days?
Fuck you.
I'd rather be fat.
He's got to have something else.
I'd rather be dead.
He says all his chronic pain is going away.
Yeah.
Sure.
Well, right.
Because he's only thinking about
how hungry he is.
Oh, my fucking everything hurts, but I don't
care. I want a burger.
He's lost so much weight. That's probably like,
you know how when you have a breakup,
you can't listen to music?
When you're hungry like this, you can't listen to the radio
or watch TV or anything because every commercial
comes on.
All day.
The Domino's commercials get me.
It's a Sunday.
I'm watching like.
Sundays are the worst.
When I get bored, I'm like, I might as well eat.
And then Domino's commercial comes, I'm like, I'd love a hot pepperoni.
I know the bad thing I do.
I'm hungry for pepperoni.
The bad thing I do is you're driving home late from the commie store.
I'll be like, all right, here's McDonald's. All right, so are you.
And you're just like, maybe one quarter pounder.
And you go and you order more, though.
Like, well, I'm here.
Let me get a bit of fries and a shank.
They got a good deal on McFlurry.
Portion control is the hardest thing.
It's all tough.
Did you just throw?
You got on me last time.
What's up, daddy?
Why did it have to be?
Yeah, but I didn't like it.
He snuck it out there.
It wasn't a sneak.
No, it just came.
I'm like Larry King.
I'm like Larry King.
But do you ever, when you go to fast food, are you like, man, hopefully nobody sees me?
You embarrassed about it?
No.
Because I went to Taco Bell yesterday.
I had a guy be like, Montez, dude, keep your money.
When he's not there, they fucking wait there.
They're like, he's going to be here in a minute.
It's bad.
I do have the McDonald's app.
Well, Eric.
You do?
Because you get deals.
Oh, wow.
It's fucking $2.
Anyway.
It's not.
McDonald's?
You haven't been to fast food places lately.
It's pretty cheap.
It's actually crazy now.
Burger King got some nerve. You're talking about why? You don't go to a fast food lately. It's pretty cheap. It's actually crazy now. Burger King got some nerve.
You're talking about $25 for two people.
Tell me, Piggy.
What was the deal with Burger King?
It's like $11 for a Whopper with cheese.
Yeah, you get four, huh?
No, two.
$22?
Two Whoppers?
Two Whoppers with cheese and a Diet Coke.
That's it.
Diet Coke. You got something to and a Diet Coke. And a Diet Coke. That's it. Diet Coke.
You got something to get a Diet Coke.
They're hungry.
Yeah, I am.
I haven't eaten today.
I had coffee and a bagel.
See, that's what I'm saying.
Neither have I.
No, you had a bagel.
Okay, well, you had a bagel.
That's his not eating.
Yeah.
I didn't eat today, man.
You're like a chick.
I haven't eaten anything all day.
Early morning, I had a bagel.
That fart smells bad, huh?
No, it doesn't. But then it's just you. Pick one. No, it bagel. That fart smells bad, huh? No, it doesn't.
But then it's just you.
Pick one.
No, it's you.
You're wet, huh?
I'm fucking dry, assholes.
Chris, he lives in like a giant vagina.
The Matrix thing.
You know what I mean?
I did for a while there.
He's like the guy from Shape of Water.
No, it's like Ace Ventura every morning.
With the rhino?
Yeah.
And then when he finishes, he looks at his hair.
Yeah.
All right, dude.
I'm fucking done, dude.
That's it.
It's warm in these rhinos.
Go to chrislea.com for tickets.
And for Eric, go to chrislea.com.
Love you guys.
There's a bunch of tour dates coming up.
I'm just going to put my tour dates on your website.
Yeah, do it. Thank you.