The Golden Hour - The Party vs The Felon | The Golden Hour #70 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia
Episode Date: March 8, 2024The guys talk Chris hiding his body like Billie Eilish, jacked comedians, Katt Williams on Joe Rogan's podcast, Chris and Brendan's fashion choices, Threads vs Twitter, the P Diddy and Meek Mill contr...oversies, Chris' Bradley Martyn protein story, Nick Swardson getting escorted off stage, Brendan's Gamebred MMA stories and much more. Get two extra episodes every month at https://patreon.com/thegoldenhourpodcast DraftKings - Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app NOW and use code GOLDEN. Nugenix - Get a complimentary bottle of Nugenix Total T plus a bottle of Nugenix Thermo X FREE when you text GOLDEN to 231-231.
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We're friends that laugh, we're friends that shout
Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about
But that won't stop us
Nothing can stop us
Ooh, yeah
It's like a show you used to love
Just rebranded enough
It's stronger, better, bigger power
Cause it is the Golden Hour
It's the Golden Hour
Did someone give you this coffee bean?
I bought this shirt.
Oh!
And I love this brand too.
Honor the gift.
What's the gift of?
It's you. You're the gift. You're the gift. You're wearing, too. Honor the gift. Honor the gift. What's the gift of? It's you.
You're the gift.
You're the gift.
You're wearing it.
You're the gift.
I don't know what it is, but...
Is that like a...
Breathable.
Very nice.
A quilt?
They take grandmother's quilts and they make shirts out of it?
Keep hating.
Keep hating.
It's good.
I actually have a lot of pieces.
Do you know anyone
from this company
no I don't know anyone
from the company
oh that's
yeah
yeah
no
but it's still a little weird
it's still a little weird
company though
well no
I think it's
it's pretty
big
I think it's a street wear
like well I don't know
if it's a street wear company
but it's like a bigger
it's like a hot company
but when you rock it
and then they see it
then do they reach out and then come I don't know i just started posting this stuff because i just
did with this company i forget their name but it's uh go fast don't die i thought it was funny with
you know with the stuff that's cool yeah so i was rocking they reached out there's some small-time
company i was like cool that's how it usually starts this is do you ever wear anything that is like Nike, Reebok, Gucci, Louis Vuitton?
Do you ever wear a brand that people actually know?
I have Gucci stuff.
I have Nike stuff.
Is it all startups?
Is it all startups?
Champion?
No, no.
Champion.
What about Lululemon?
They're good, but I don't have any of that.
It's tough for guys. When I see a guy
rocking Lululemon, I go, he wore a mask
in the end. Yeah, true, but it's
good, though. I'll just have your vibe in.
Shut up, dude. I see Lululemon from a
dude, I'm like, oh, he can't bench 350.
There's no... But I normally don't...
Most people can't bench 350.
350? Jesus. You can't even bench 350.
The goal is...
350? I said 315. I can do 350. 350? We'll see can't even bench 350. The goal is- Not right now. 350. I said 315.
Oh, 315.
I can do 315.
350, we'll see.
Give me a week.
Oh, that's three plates, right?
Give me a week.
315.
The thing that everyone always talks about is the two plates on the side.
225.
And I can do that.
And I can do that.
How many times?
Four.
That's pretty good.
But he's getting thick.
I have my chest.
He wears baggy clothes.
I'm at 120.
You know what you are?
You're Billy Eilish hiding the tits.
I'm at 120 on the machine. Oh, nice. That you are? You're Billie Eilish hiding the tits.
I'm at 120 on the machine.
Oh, nice.
That's cool.
You're Billie Eilish hiding the tits.
Let him out, daddy.
Nah, nah, man.
Not yet.
Let him out.
You know how Billie Eilish always wears baggy clothes?
I'm like, release the sweater puppies, girl.
You got the curves.
Big, baggy, sharp Billie Eilish.
That's what you're doing.
You're hiding your body because it's not funny.
No, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, and shape's not funny.
No, that shirt is funny it's a weird
i wear hold on i'm i'm i'm shirtless a lot like i like i like to at home but on stage you wear
baggy clothes you're a little insecure about it i get it i'm not insecure about i get it i've been
that guy for a long time you might be on to something that was me i got like three layers
on with like hoodies and stuff but guys i mean i, I'm kind of fit. I'm not like crazy fit.
For a comic, you're pretty.
For a comic, sure.
Yeah, I guess.
What does that mean?
Yeah, that means nothing.
For a comic, that means like, you know.
Yeah, for a comic, you know, you're attractive.
For a comic, you're attractive.
There's some fit comics, though.
Some fit comics?
Now.
Who?
Fucking, well, Rogan, Matt Rife.
Take Rogan out of it. Well, why, though? You know, well, Rogan, Matt Rife. Take Rogan out of it.
Well, why though?
You know, it's a different.
Matt Rife is really fit.
He's small.
Don't count him.
Keep going.
Who else?
How big's Matt?
No, he's not really big.
He's just kind of.
How big?
He's got big.
I know.
How tall is he?
He's very muscular.
He's like 5'11".
Don't count.
What else you got?
Wow.
If you're under six foot, we can't have this conversation.
What else you got?
He may be six foot, actually.
Is Cat Williams shredded?
No, no, no.
Kevin Hart's jet.
Did y'all see Cat Williams?
Gary Goldman, maybe.
Joe Rogan?
He's a big dude.
Who?
Oh, nice.
Dude, Cat Williams was vibing.
Bro, that's exactly what I thought.
It was a side of him I've never seen before.
But he's like, aliens are real.
He knows his shit.
He was like really like.
As far as like his, I'm not saying I agree with it,
but as far as he does know his shit, he's done a ton of reading.
But my brother, a good thing, I go, did you see Cat Williams?
He goes, yes.
So I go, he has a point, though, with all these famous black people
that all have been addressed.
He goes, really?
Denzel?
Samuel L. Jackson?
I went, well, like newer guys.
Comics. Well, like newer guys did it, though. Comics, newer guys comics so they always want but they want to do that they do it with
everybody they do though why just comics because it's funny yeah remember bosom
buddies we can imagine the equalizer in a fucking bra yeah my brother shot it
down he goes Denzel or Samuel Jackson do Jackson? No. That's how Tom Hanks got his start.
Yeah.
But Miss Doubtfire?
I mean, they do it to white people, too.
That was a great sitcom.
Those are some buddies.
The Rock's done it.
Do you think Cat Williams has any legit, like, do you think this is a legit thing?
Does he have any ground to stand on?
Is any of that legit?
He's got a way.
I didn't see it.
Oh, it's really fascinating.
Oh, it's so fascinating. Oh, it's so fascinating.
They get into it. It was, oh man.
And then like. The pyramids?
When he went, the hydro water underneath, I was
like. He was just going in. It was very
vibey. Vibey. Yeah, I mean, you
knew it was going to be. You know, Rogan asked him that
question about menthols. Yeah.
Just looked right at him and was like, well, this is a racist
conversation, you know? And it was just
like really, like the way he did it, it was just so like, and then he
just went on with the answering the question.
Of course, the headlines were like, broken ass racist question.
I'm like, out of the three hours, that was your takeaway?
I hate that.
That was the takeaway, you idiots.
Yeah.
But that's mental because he was saying, because black people.
Yeah, he was like, broken ass.
Why do black people like menthol?
Why is that racist?
They do.
I didn't think it was racist.
Maybe because we're two white guys.
They do like that.
Yeah.
I want to get back to this.
Is it racist being like, why do black guys like Hennessy or Cognac?
No, that's their shit.
Why do white boys love Bud Light?
That's their shit.
That's what Rogan asked.
He said, well, why does it be like asking about pasta for Italians?
I don't get how that's racist.
Who cares?
Like Chin loves Korean barbecue.
Is that racist?
Yeah.
No.
I don't like it.
Whatever, dude.
No, it's all right.
It's just too much work.
I don't want to fucking cook my food.
Yeah, but that's not.
But that doesn't.
You don't like going to a Korean barbecue place.
No.
But you like Korean barbecue.
You don't like going because of all the Koreans, though. That's barbecue. You don't like going because of all the Koreans, though.
That's racist.
You said it, not me.
I said it about you.
You're not even vibing now.
I know, but I didn't say it, so I can't get in trouble.
I like going with Chin because he takes over and does the whole thing,
but I leave there, I'm starving.
The thing about those places is you can't even complain about the food.
Why?
Because you cooked it.
It's too well done.
You can be like, um, there's something up with this.
Can you replace me?
Because Asians are lazy.
No, they're not.
We know that.
I feel like the meat's not the best quality, Chin.
It depends where you go, man.
You must have went to a ship.
Chin took me to a place called Quarters.
But that was during the pandemic.
We had to go outside.
We weren't cooking inside.
Oh, that sucks.
Food tastes different outside than it does inside.
No, they gave you a little propane gas.
I said that once to my parents, and they didn't agree,
and I fucking will never forget that.
That doesn't even make sense.
I need the science of that.
What I'm saying, food tastes different outside than it does inside.
The air, it makes it taste different, dude.
And I said that to my parents once when I was younger,
and they disagreed with me, and I'll never forget it.
That's fair.
Because it was camping grills.
Mom, dad, listen to Chin and I. But Chin's was on a me and I'll never forget it. That's fair. It was camping grills. Mom, dad listened to Chin and I.
But Chin's was on a gas grill.
It was propane, which does taste different.
It was just a camping grill.
Normally they have this badass grill inside.
Inside.
Because outside food tastes different.
And I said that to my parents once
and they didn't agree with me.
I'll never forget it.
Okay, we get it.
All right, I'm just saying.
Why would they disagree with that?
I want to get back to my other question.
Yes.
I am buff. Do would they disagree with that? I want to get back to my other question. Yes.
I am. You only wear startup clothes.
No, I have stuff.
But also, dude, if it's not Nike or what?
He has like four brands that he's like.
I said other brands.
Gucci.
Okay, I wear Gucci stuff.
I have.
We never see it.
I'd like to wear Gucci on the golden hour.
That's a perfect place to wear it.
Yeah, hell yeah. I meant to.
It was designed to.
So he goes to his closet, he's like this.
Louis Vuitton, Gucci, no.
Weird startup.
No, to be fair, I would never wear Gucci
on Congratulations either. Or any podcast.
That's weird. On stage I do, though.
I don't wear it anymore at all. On stage I i don't he wore a mask for a little bit for a little bit he can't be until i
really can't bench 315. no 225. i feel like you're gonna get there i don't know bro can i really get
to that oh yeah at 43 years old 100 really with my help you could be i need some help i i just
yeah it's so hard it's so frustrating working out here.
Wouldn't it be cool to do it and the kid's like,
Daddy, you benched 315?
At least 300.
They'd be like, whoa, dad's super, superman.
Would they even know what that means?
No, they wouldn't.
They will when they get older and dad's no punk bitch.
And they're going to listen to dad more.
My dad's a punk bitch.
He's a punk bitch.
Dude, I lost...
My throat hurts so bad. single tear i was yelling at eight
year olds yesterday at a at a baseball game and i got done my wife went what are you doing oh my
wife she was oh my god i went you almost came to a fight again not no no no fights it was just it
was a close game and my son was pitching and i was like you have a fucking refrigerator on your
back get no it's all positive but was just, that's from football.
Baseball kickoff last night.
That's cute.
You couldn't even.
You know what's funny is you don't look like you're kneeling.
You look like you're that tall.
It does look like that.
With the way the angle is, it just looks like your leg.
Imagine your dad has like the upper body of a 6'3 man, but the lower body of you.
You know what I mean?
And my throat hurts from yelling at eight-year-olds. The upper body of a 6'3 man, but the lower body of you. You know what I mean?
And my throat hurts from yelling at eight-year-olds.
They're all positive things, but I'm yelling.
I'm the base coach.
I yell. Yeah, but do you ever look around at other parents looking at you yelling?
If they have weird looks on your face, you're doing too much.
I'm doing too much.
You're doing too much.
That's why I went, I need to relax.
Yeah.
Because my son threw the ball to first.
This kid hit like a line
Drive he caught it through to first and it was like it was close and I was the first base and he goes out
I'm like are you shitting me? Oh wow my girl is like what I'm like walking back. Yeah, what are you doing?
Wow, and you know what sucks to plan for key?
What's great when I bet you all the parents that you kind of know each other right? Oh, yeah
Okay, so imagine you're a parent and the ex-UFC fighters acting like an asshole.
It's not like you can't even say anything.
So you say asshole, I say passionate.
Yeah.
Well, passionate.
No, no, no.
And it was a preseason game.
If you did this, are you shitting me?
I looked at the wamp, I go, that's two.
That's two you fuck this on
you can't go hey they're a yeah you're fucking us i said they gotta start somewhere asshole
you can be passionate and an asshole though never an asshole and then i'm just no i'm saying
it's possible my batman okay that's cool You're a little too passionate, but also you're off.
I did a little too.
I'm sorry.
Oh, it's on the gutter.
Hey.
Wow.
Yeah.
Explain that one.
It's a hit, bro.
Tone it down.
Yeah, I know.
Well, whatever, dude.
It was the first game.
There's a lot of excitement, a lot of hype.
You don't even like baseball.
I love baseball.
Now you do.
Love it.
Yeah, my son.
Yeah, he's good at it.
Bro. My Billy is like, he's good at it. Bro.
My Billy is like, he's like, what is he like?
He's going to be like 11 months now.
And Calvin loves Hot Wheels and he has the tracks.
And he likes to take the car and manually do it with the loops and stuff.
Well, he just kind of like goes like, you know, with his hand.
He's like... And we caught Billy the other day
just trying to do it.
It's so cute, dude.
Do you have video?
Otherwise, the story goes nowhere, right?
I do.
He was trying to vibe.
Yeah, you got me.
Checkmate.
Area 51 is real.
Checkmate.
There it is. It's adorable. I just texted you guys.
But yeah, it's just really
wild, man. They actually
love each other.
Was there ever any jealousy or anything
with your kids? Or even now?
No. Really? Because they said it's
going to happen. I guess maybe it
happens, but they're super close. But I think
it's up to the parents too
like I was terrified
of my brother growing up
like he'd beat me up
all the time
I was terrified
if they fight
they can wrestle
and play rough house
they fight or don't
support each other
nothing gets me more angry
no of course not
and they know that
they have to support each other
they sleep together
they sleep in the same bed
they're like brothers
yeah but isn't that
a thing where it's like
that's why it's like
maybe a parenting technique is like you're that a thing where it's like that's why it's like maybe a parenting technique.
It's like you're not the enemy, but it's like you make them.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
But they never had that.
I mean, Calvin every now and then is like, I want to play this, and Billy keeps trying to grab it.
But just nothing beyond that.
Wait until they start playing sports, though.
Well, I can imagine.
Because Boston's like, why can't I play?
And I'm like, because you're four?
You know, it's like, I mean, go ahead.
And he's already like.
I was surprised you're not like, well, work harder.
No, but.
You can get out there.
No, I told him that.
But because he's fallen, his brother, who's a monster, he's already at four.
He's light years ahead of Tiger.
Right, right, right.
Of course. I tell T, I'm like, you better step your shit up, T. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your brother's on your heels, he's already at four, he's light years ahead of Tiger. Right, right, right, of course.
I tell T, I'm like,
you better step your shit up, T.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Your brother's on your heels, man.
That's funny.
So I just create this competition.
That's so funny.
And they don't eat
if they don't get base hits, so.
Wow.
Just kidding.
It's so casual.
And then there's no dinner.
There's no dinner.
Tiger, this is your share.
And then Boston, you get this, I guess.
Which is nothing. He's getting the stat sheet Tiger, this is your share. And then Boston, you get this, I guess. Which is nothing.
He's getting the stat sheet in front of him.
Add a few bites.
Here, watch this.
Look how cute this is.
No, you'd want to.
No, he's cute.
Look at that. Oh, he figured it out isn't that cute super cute
dude like that's wild when they become a person like that he's like nah i love it um if
someone showed that video to chris of their kid he would be like you know if i brought that up
chris like what the you're doing no way no you know i love that you know if i brought that up chris like what the fuck are you doing no way no you know i love
that you know what's weird is everyone no no i love everybody i love it too yeah that's what you
know i'm more maybe like i think if you don't have kids yeah we show you kid videos or pictures
people like good god no if you have kids i can't get it oh i love it yeah i'll ask random people
i'll be like go to like yeah you gotta look at the picture like fuck yeah instagram algorithm
now it's just.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's right.
I got to lay off Twitter.
My Twitter, the algorithm, it's trying to get me to storm the Capitol.
It is so intense.
It's weird.
It's like, look, look at these illegal immigrants.
They're all they're all, you know, doing something.
Look on the side of the streets in every major city.
They're getting together to do something.
I'm like, I'm so stressed.
So Twitter became like crazy.
And you mean free? You mean free, yeah.
Well.
Oh, you mean like free speech?
Yeah, free.
Free speech?
Yeah.
But no, but then so I.
You can't complain about what you wanted.
I'm not complaining, but I got to go into another code game.
You just said you want to stay off of it now.
Well, for better or for worse.
Because the algorithm. I like the freedom of the algorithm. Well, for better or for worse. Because the algorithm.
I like the freedom of the algorithm.
Like, hey, blah.
It shows you what you.
But for better or for worse, whatever.
But, you know, you look at threads sometimes.
And it's always showing me.
They're still around?
Yeah.
But it's getting bigger.
But I feel like all I see on threads are people complaining about Instagram.
Do you see this?
Oh, dude.
Or they do this weird thing.
Or it's just like thirst trap girls.
That's weird, yeah.
But it'll say their name.
And then it'll say like, follows you, right?
But that's just a trick.
Really?
That's funny.
Yeah, it's just a trick.
You're like, why is this person following me?
Oh, that's funny.
So you follow them? The way it's set up, it looks like it goes, oh, is this person following me? Smart tactic. Yeah, it's just a trick. You're like, why is this person following me? Oh, that's funny. So you follow them?
The way it's set up, it looks like it goes, oh, is this person following me?
Smart tactic.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, so that's all it is.
Or they do a thing where it's like they say the same thing like 50 times.
Yeah, that I've seen.
Yeah, that's stupid.
Well, on Twitter, it's the same thing, too.
Oh, yeah, you made fun of that, didn't you?
Yeah, because it's so good.
It's the only way.
Chris is a dick.
Chris is a dick.
Chris is a dick.
But on Twitter, it's the same thing, too.
It would be like some impossibly hot girl.
Like, can't believe her leaks got, you know, can't believe her pictures got or videos got leaked.
You know what I mean?
Like, what the fuck?
But then in the community notes, it's like, this is an ad.
But before, it would get you every time.
Would it?
Every time.
I'm like, well, they got leaked.
What the hell is going on here?
Yeah, but they're both like, there's no.
Are people?
1999.
Okay.
I think the difference between threads and Twitter is threads is still for people to promote their own thing.
So they're being like, hey, this is my stand-up.
Hey, this is my OnlyFans.
Hey, this is my thing.
So then what's Twitter for?
Twitter is to say stuff.
It's like outlets being like political outlets or entertainment outlets.
News kind of stuff.
News and things like that.
Even if it's fake.
Fake or not.
I feel like Twitter has become that.
And Threads is still sort of this personal social media.
Twitter does a good job, though, if someone's like, whatever it is, Biden said this.
And then it would be community notes.
Whether it's left or right, like this is fake, he never said that.
It's taken out of context.
Yeah, it's dope.
Yeah, it's crazy.
They really got to do that.
Like Sugar Sean O'Malley was like undefeated,
can't wait for this weekend.
It was like community notes.
He's like, nope, you actually lost to Chito Vera.
That's hilarious.
Because he doesn't consider it a loss,
but they're like, actually you lost.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, it'll clown you.
Like I post something about Francis being Tyson Fury,
this whole video got like 10 million views
and then community notes popped up.
It was like, he actually lost.
Oh really?
Yeah, cause I was like, oh, it seems like Fury won.
You know, or Francis won.
It was like, he actually lost, dumbass.
Oh wow, really, really?
Yeah, they'll correct you real quick.
Is it AI? What is it?
Is there like a room full of people who just like are like.
Room full of dorks.
Yeah.
Actually, it's the actually room.
The Geeks Club.
Actually.
After further review, I've noticed that.
Me and the fellas talked about it.
You're actually wrong.
And it's just one Nick in there who has to be like this.
There it is.
So it's up to us.
Just looking shit up.
It's up to us.
It's right. Contributors can leave notes on any post. And if enough contributors leave different points of. There you is. So it's up to us. Just looking shit up. It's up to us. It's right.
Contributors can leave notes on any post.
And if enough contributors leave different points of,
there you go.
Oh,
that sucks.
So,
so where the actually,
where the actually room,
where the group.
Well,
then that,
then,
then.
So how do you know what's real?
I thought it was a legit commission.
I was like, actually,
I think what they mean is they look into it.
If a bunch of people.
And then they'll find out the truth.
Yeah, because it's not like Bill332 says.
No, it's like Twitter notes.
Right, right, right.
So there has to be some geek squad who's like, I'm the expert here.
I've also seen on some stuff like if it's a comedy sketch that is done real.
Because my buddy Vinny O'Shahauna oh yeah he's over at
valiant entertainment and they'll and they'll always showing like they always like he has this
video where he's giving like a speech or something and then the black girl in the crowd is like uh
you know you're a right-wing nut yeah yeah yeah it's just a sketch it's a sketch right but
they people play it like it's real but so sometimes it sketches like that it'll say underneath this is a sketch right right right
you know
this is a comedy
there was another one
where a girl
a girl was wearing
a bikini in class
and the teacher was like
you need to get some clothes on
and it's fake
yeah
but you know
I texted Vinny that
I was like yo
this is crazy
and then I texted him back
like wait
this is a sketch right
he was like yeah
it's a sketch
but it's still crazy
he's got a lot of sketches
like that
there's a funny one
where he's like a guy talking about all this
pronouns,
you know,
he's like,
I go by they,
them,
he,
she,
with all this stuff.
And then like,
I saw this on like a,
like a,
one of these like conservative.
Oh,
right.
Yeah.
They use it for their,
yeah.
One of those types of things.
And I just go,
wow,
that like nothing's real.
No,
I know.
And it sucks because it's like,
now we can't,
like, where's satire now?
Like, where's like,
you know, you're just trying to be funny.
Yeah, I know.
And then there's some group who's like,
oh, I can't believe they feel this way.
But you know who is ahead of the curve
is like rappers.
Like, you don't know
if they're joking or serious.
2 Chainz was the first AI
because you're just like,
oh, he really believes he's different or is
he just being silly like i'm different yeah i'm different like that's hilarious but does he
believe that dude how about p diddy basically the harvey weinstein of fucking the music i don't know
yeah so fucked have you looked into this i saw the the new thing but i just i mean until i haven't
seen it oh it runs deep.
I'm not even vibing here.
It runs.
I don't know.
You got Usher involved.
You got Meek Mill.
You got a Bieber here and there.
All I know is when this stuff started coming out, all of my black friends.
Two of them.
Two of them.
Were.
Two of them.
And I'm counting, Eric.
One and a half.
No, no, I'm kidding.
One and a half.
Kevin and Eric, one and a half.
All my black friends were saying, oh, no, we knew about this.
And I was like, really?
Straight up.
I didn't know.
David Lucas was like, bro, how do you not know this?
I'm like.
Yeah, bro, white people did not know this. No, I, I... Yeah, bro, white people did not know this.
No, I get jiggy with it.
You do get jiggy with it.
It's just like when, you know, what's his name?
Rodney King got beat by the police.
White people were like, that really happens.
Oh, right, right, right, right.
Oh, I was like, he was on PCP.
It was the same kind of thing.
Right.
Yeah.
Oh, I don't know about the new thing.
With Diddy?
You said there's a new thing, yeah.
Oh, no, with Rodney King being on PCP?
No, no, no, with Diddy, you said. Oh, with Diddy. Yeah, there's so much with Diddy you said there's a new thing yeah oh no with rodney king being no no diddy you said
oh we did yeah there's so much with diddy yeah because now meek mills finally answering back
because there's pictures of him at like these weird pool parties and he's in the affidavit
there's all this shit so now he's coming out being like nah man i like chicks like when i
got a girl around me i'm fucking her twice a day when i have some of y'all favorites pussy don't
control me but it's like a high. One love to the gay people.
That's juicy pussy.
Do it for me.
I done ran red lights to get that feeling.
Y'all weird out here like devils.
Wait, hold on.
That does protest too much.
Yeah.
Oh, bro, you gay?
That's what I say, too.
You're gay, bro.
That's too much.
Well, but hold on a second, though.
And I don't think you should read it in that voice.
You should read it in this voice.
Well, I got a girl around me me i'm fucking hurt twice a day bitch
that's some of my favorites that's that's very funny hey so but does he realize that this tweet
gives off the same energy as i can't be racist i have a black friend yes it's crazy no but you
know this is the thing this is like you, you know, you think about Hollywood parties.
You think about whatever, right?
So now that's that thing.
You know, they're having Hollywood parties.
There's girls there trying to fuck.
There's drugs.
There's all this kind of stuff.
And now later, people want to come out and be like, well, I was at this party.
This is what was going on.
It's like, damn.
Where was that energy 10 years ago?
Yeah.
It's like, what are we talking about? For me, it's tough. It is. It's like, you know what I'm saying? party. This is what was going on. It's like, damn. Where was that energy 10 years ago? Yeah. It's like, what are we talking about?
For me, it's tough.
It is.
I agree.
Hey, but here's the thing.
Does it hurt your feelings?
No one in here is famous enough to get invited to an Illuminati party?
Have you ever heard any rumours of this?
Ever?
Anyone in here?
Here's something that I've heard.
No one's made it here.
I've said this before, okay?
And this is what I don't get, okay?
Look, there's Tom Cruise.
There's fucking Matt Damon.
There's top dogs.
Will Smith.
Ben Affleck.
I'm not that.
Nobody in the right mind would be like,
Chris Lea hangs with those guys, okay?
Fine.
All good.
Get it.
Like, Chris Lea hangs with those guys.
Okay, fine.
All good.
Get it.
At what point are you famous enough to where you know a guy where you heard about a party to where, you know, oh. I feel like I would have got a whiff of something.
I'm at the level where and yeah exactly someone
exactly somebody at that level i would have heard something and just that's the thing it's like at
least at least rumblings yeah yeah you would be like no dude when i was at my all-time high
yeah i got a text yeah yeah Exactly. Here's another example for you.
Where's Rogan more famous than anyone?
No one's going to reach out to Rogan.
Or maybe they know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, Rogan, you know. He's going to run us out.
You wouldn't reach out to Rogan.
Well, I'm just saying.
Somewhere along the line, he's so famous.
Or, you know.
You think he's involved?
He got a call.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now you're really viable.
Don't talk about this on the podcast. But, bro, that's why they don't call him. Because they know he'd be like, dude? He got a call. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now you're really vibing. Don't talk about this on the podcast.
But, bro, that's why they don't call him because they know he'd be like, dude, I got a call.
We've got your family.
Can I go now?
We've got your family.
Can I go now?
Yeah.
I think that it's only recently in the last, say, 10 years that comedians started to get
to a point where it was like, you know, rock star professional athlete yeah a a-list actor because
of kevin hart a-list comic right so what i'm saying is like i still think that those people
in the upper echelons of things we're clowns yeah yeah yeah i don't care how fancy or you know so
it's not but it's not that but i think look what in movies he was up there bro yeah but it was
like several movies yeah you don't think he would have
got some rumbling yeah i would think yes i would think yes i would i just think that we're when
you're talking about like real like if you're how about this if you're on cribs you're not really
rich okay like if you're if you're on lifestyles that are rich yeah yeah yeah like those kind of
things it's like you're not really that's – because then it's like you hear about like Bill Gates has a $150 million house on acres of land where he said, I want to be able to ride my horse where I'm on my property.
Like there's a level of rich that like it's not going to be publicized.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's only the upper, upper echelon maybe that they're fucking with.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're just like scum.
And you know why?
It's like it's not on anybody too famous because it's going to end up like that.
Like if you're going to somebody's party, they don't want somebody coming to a party that's going to be talking about it all.
Well, yeah.
You're not inviting Meek Mill, that's for sure.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, Bill Gates. Oh, Meek's talking?
God damn it.
I knew when he took the picture
of the fries on his legs at the pool, we were
fucked. He's texted
with the other... No, but P. Diddy brought
him up, right? So P. Diddy's bringing him,
brought Usher, brought Justin Bieber,
so he's bringing him in that culture
yeah no i understand like hey you want to be famous i'm gonna touch that butthole me
fucking meek millie's millie's talking god damn it i don't know what i just feel like of course
stephen hawking like i can't believe he said that i knew meek was going to be a problem
sure his shit is fire he came up in the cypher but god damn i knew he was
trouble i was too scared to say something he's the one that puts the hit out on him i've never
trusted him yeah i don't i don't know you have to be at just such a certain level you had to fly so
high but these in order to get that invite what about the one there was a one about uh diddy and
oh you know what can't stand these bodyguards that are coming out now oh well you know let me high in order to get that invite. What about the one, there was one about Diddy and,
you know what I can't stand? These bodyguards that are coming out now. Oh, well, you know, let me tell you something.
That's ridiculous. They're lying.
They're all bodyguards.
Are you kidding me, bro? A bodyguard? You're going to believe me?
Dude, this one bodyguard is like,
he's like, this guy's trying to get into the room,
and P. Diddy's in there with Ja Rule.
And so the guy's telling the story on a podcast
or something, and he's like, this guy's like, you're not getting past me, man. So when a scuffle happens, then the guy says, P. Diddy's in there with Ja Rule. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so the guy's telling a story on a podcast or something. And he's like, this guy's like, you're not getting past me, man.
So when a scuffle happens, then the guy says, P. Diddy and Ja Rule bust outside the room in just towels.
What's going on out here?
Like, why is that story?
Like, why are you telling that story?
Well, because I guarantee you they went to P. Diddy first and were like, yo, we need 50 mil or we're going to release
this. And P. Diddy's like, I don't give a fuck.
At this point,
why would he care? He's not running for office or anything like that.
Well, he had to step down from all his
shares. He's not at any
parties. He's gone
kind of hiding. He had to
step down. I forget the chairman, the board.
Revolt? Yeah, Revolt. He had to
step down from that. Wasn't that his channel or something?
Yeah, he had to sell all his shares in that.
Him, Vince McMahon.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, that fucking knows shit.
Vince McMahon shit on a girl, bro.
What's going on with these things, though?
But this is the only thing I don't like.
It's like, where's the follow-up?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So if you're going to say, this girl says that he did this,
and then it's a big news. And everybody's talking about it.
Now he's guilty.
He's guilty.
He's guilty.
Because that's how we do it.
And then when it just goes away.
Because you know why, though?
Where's that story?
Well, no.
A, they're not going to even write on that story.
But B, courts take it.
You're looking at two years?
Yeah, they're going to do it.
It's going to take forever.
It's not like they're like, let's do it.
They're trying to get Trump.
Well, Supreme Court just passed.
It ain't work.
No, that's not going to work.
Super Tuesday, enjoy that.
That seems ridiculous anyway, though.
What?
That's not the way to do it.
What?
Like, you do this thing where you go, oh.
It makes him bigger.
Yeah.
Oh, he can't be on the ballot.
No, yeah, that's fucking stupid.
It didn't even seem right.
No, no, no.
Just beat him properly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they can't. So that's why they're doing this? Well, they're afraid they can't be on the ballot. No, yeah, that's fucking stupid. It didn't even seem right. No, no, no. Just beat him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Beat him properly.
But they can't.
So that's why they're doing this.
Well, they're afraid they can't, yeah.
No, they can't.
It's not even close.
Yeah, I understand.
So that's why they're trying these answers.
I like to say they're scared, though.
They're scared, yes.
But whoever's doing the marketing for the Democrats,
like, God, you guys are fucking up.
You're literally pushing people towards the right.
Yeah, yeah.
Push them.
It's like what they did when they write about Shane Gillis.
You're only making him bigger.
You're making him the hero.
Yes.
You know what I'm saying?
What about those guys, the comics from that club in Seattle?
Same thing.
Oh.
Oh.
Legion of Skies?
I did.
I did.
What's his name?
Florentine.
Florentine. I'm sorry. Louis Gomez. That's crazy. And did you What's his name? Yeah. Florentine. Florentine. Florentine.
I'm sorry.
Louis Gomez.
That's crazy.
And did you see the letter that they wrote?
But Louis came out and was like, hey, quit harassing the club.
It's actually not helping us.
No, I just saw Florentine's post on it because I like Florentine.
No, fuck them, though.
That's a bad precedent, man.
That's terrible.
That's a bad precedent.
And then when they say, like, we value the art of comedy.
No, you don't of comedy No you don't
These guys
Exactly
What are we talking about
But again
Once you go woke it goes broke
So they're gonna do that and then put in these
Shitty liberal comics nobody's gonna buy tickets to
This is crazy
And then they're like we can't sell drinks
Here's the thing man
The people that complain about comedy.
Go back.
The people that complain about this, they don't actually go and buy tickets.
They just like complaining.
Go back.
Facts.
Comic predicts woke Seattle club that canceled will not stay in business that long.
Got it.
Okay.
And that was me.
That was me.
That was written about me.
You know what this is like?
This is exactly like, I don't know if you have said this already, but I'm going to
say it again or whatever.
But this is exactly like when you complain about a comic
or you complain about – I can't believe you're going to have this person
at your club, right?
But then they're not going to go – now that you don't have him there,
we're going to come support you.
They're not doing that.
No, no, no.
It's just like the WNBA.
It's just like the WNBA.
You complain about women's salaries, but they don't go support.
Then go.
Sit in the seats.
The seats are cold.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like Taylor Swift should buy a WNBA team.
Yeah, there you go.
And be like, I'm going to be there.
Kim Kardashian should buy a WNBA team.
But why don't they?
Like all these famous women who want to push for women, they should be the owners of these
teams.
And then people will be like, oh, but they're not doing that.
No, no, no.
But then they want to complain,
so they wonder.
So it's the same thing with this.
They're like, SNL,
they must have been like,
we're not,
they were like,
Shane Gillis is racist.
That's what they said.
But then they weren't watching the show.
The ratings were terrible.
This is probably the most rated version
of the show in a while.
And it was fucking hilarious.
In a decade.
And then they had Sydney Sweeney on.
And they're like
see she can do well too i'm like it's because of her titties that was i don't know it's because
of her fat juicy tits well you know a couple of those i mean come on we're funny we're not even
trying here yeah i watch this yeah yeah sure rachel watched it was hilarious a couple of
the schedules were funny yeah dude and that's super funny yeah dude i tuned in for
the pure comedy relief oh it's funny yeah i'm just oh god okay you're making a joke uh yeah
like see women can do it too she's so funny like she just got as good as ratings as shane gillis
i'm like okay i just like okay the whole women can do it too thing is like you're you don't say
you're bringing men into the conversation
just say oh this was funny right you know i'm saying if you say oh you can't you can't don't
bring men into the conversation when women are fun just say to say this is funny yeah then okay
but you say women can do it too it's like oh you know you're talking about men um let's take a
little break fellas yeah take a little break, fellas.
Take a little break because the heat is cranking up in Miami.
Miami.
UFC 299, bro.
UFC 299 is this weekend.
It's better than 300 top to bottom.
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Someone sent this in and said it's Chris.
I got that.
I'll recheck the reputas.
That's hilarious.
Dude, I'm going to redo that,
but put men who drive Teslas,
how they check their reputas.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, please send that to me, Nick.
Go to my Instagram, the first post, the top one.
Dude, that ass is juicy.
Go down.
No, no, no, that one, that one.
See, that's under the gift too, right there, that shirt.
Okay. No, keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going. That one. See, that's under the gift, too, right there. That shirt. Okay.
No, keep going.
Keep going.
Keep going.
Keep going.
That's sold out.
Keep going.
Whatever.
There we go.
Keep going.
Keep going.
See, he has black friends.
Yeah.
Wait, keep going.
There's a cop.
Dude, a black girl, a cop?
Are you trying to do...
Yeah, is this a Disney movie?
Is this a new Marvel movie that's going to bomb?
Chris is trying to help his image.
He's like, I got a black woman.
He's all, cops love me.
It's a cool shirt.
It's a cool shirt.
Vote for Chris.
That's pretty impressive.
Oh, yeah, the Pistol Squad?
Yeah, I'll give you that.
Yeah.
You know what?
Have you ever seen, bro, look up Dragon Squad.
Have you ever seen, bro, look up Dragon Squad.
This I wanted to be able to do, and I tried to do it the other day,
and I thought, oh, I'll die and never be able to do this. But you're super flexible.
I am.
That's what I'm saying.
I can't even come close to this.
Look at this.
That thing.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Going down and then back up.
Oof.
Hey, but also
Why?
I don't know
I like to
If you're just in your hotel room
And you're looking for some exercises
Sometimes I'll find some things
And I'll be like
Oh my god
Yeah crazy
This three minute
Or like you're doing
Some kind of ab workout
I know
And the weird things
That's some hot girl shit man
Yeah I'm hot girl
Casey just did it right now
Who did?
Casey
Because he does the fucking He could do muscle ups He does extreme sports That's some hot girl shit, man. Casey just did it right now. Who did? Casey. Because he does the fucking, he could do muscle ups.
He does extreme sports.
That's crazy.
He's also 82 pounds.
I know, I know, I know, I know.
So what are we talking about?
I know.
Big guy's doing it.
I did something yesterday at the gym.
He's got that Hobbit exercise routine.
I see it.
This?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's me, yeah.
That looks just like you, dude.
You know what?
That's too big. Yeah, that's me yeah that looks just like you dude you know what that i love how the ai that's too big yeah that's crazy big i love go back to the uh ai thing dude how about how the
the ai i put crystalia really buff and and it had the microphone it wouldn't take the microphone out
on the left hand oh wow how funny is that i just noticed the ai so so stupid would you like to get
that big no no, no, no.
No, that?
And he's crushing the microphone, too.
Yeah.
And look at my overbite.
Look at my overbite.
The AI ain't ready, man.
Would you want to get that pig?
No.
No.
The AI is not ready.
No, it's not ready, but it will be, bro.
And when it is, I don't know the end of the sentence, but that's, you know.
That shit's crazy.
What do you got, Nick?
Let's see here.
When's the last time, honestly, you shit yourself?
Be real.
I almost did it this morning.
I took this pre-workout, took too much caffeine.
I went, I'm going to shit my demon.
Let me ask you a question before we even get into this.
So I...
This is funny.
Some dude said this is the gayest way to go up the stairs i um so i i was
talking about oh i texted bradley martin woke stairs i texted bradley martin you know yeah
that's my boy no he's great and oh cool and i said uh hey man what what uh protein powder should i
use uh because you know i i i'm sick of mine that I use.
You're closer with me, though.
Yeah, I should have texted.
I'll protein up the gazillion.
I should have texted you, actually.
You just won't bring it like the Alpha Brain.
I should have texted you.
I do forget.
Fair point.
If you use the Alpha Brain,
you can remember to bring it.
Fair point.
So I said, oh, I got you.
I'll send you some. I have some. For his company or whatever. So I was like, oh, I got you. I'll send you some.
I have some for his company or whatever.
So I was like, oh, that's awesome.
I'll take some.
A few days went by, and I said, and then on my podcast,
I jokingly was like, yo, Bradley Martin, where the fuck is my protein powder?
Like joking, like he said he was going to send it.
So he texted me.
Obviously, he heard it or heard about it.
And he said, yo, I got it coming.
Don't worry.
Sent it.
I got home then from Canada.
And the box was there.
And it was a bunch of pre-workout.
No protein.
No.
That's frustrating.
So it's not protein.
So I texted him.
And I said, when something like that happens,
I think, am I the idiot here?
Do you know what I'm saying?
Yes.
I know pre-workout is not protein,
but also he knows more about working out than I do.
So I text him.
I'm like, hey, you sent me this pre-workout stuff.
Am I supposed to take this instead of the protein?
And I'm like, this is not right.
But anyway, phew.
And then you look at
your phone yeah yeah no and and and here's how i know here's how i know it was the wrong thing
he didn't text me back he goes he goes he gets he goes oh i gotta respond to that later and
they just never did it yeah because but he sent me so much pre-workout.
He helped me out because I was,
you know, I've been tired.
I've been really tired.
So I called him like,
what should I do?
He's like, I got you.
Say less.
And he runs this company
that deals with like peptides
and hormone and blood.
He's like, I got you, man.
This lady, he goes,
just answer your phone.
I was like, nah, dude,
just tell me,
just answer your fucking phone
if someone calls you.
Random number calls you,
I answer.
Say, hello, we're here. Your friend Bradley Martin's ready to set up blood work. I'm like, okay. They're like, we'll be there in 10 minutes. I'm like, nah, dude, just tell me. Just answer your fucking phone if someone calls you. Random number calls you, I answer. Say, hello, we're here.
Your friend Bradley Martin's ready to set up blood work.
I'm like, okay.
They're like, we'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm like, God, dog.
Lady comes to the house, takes my blood.
Two days later, gives me the whole panel.
What?
Yeah, man.
That stuff's great to know.
Yeah, it is.
What'd you find out?
How's your vitamin D?
How's your B12?
I have two weeks to live.
I have two weeks to live.
No, I was actually good.
I was good, yeah.
They said heart attack yelling on the baseball field
yeah and then i had to eight year olds um bradley's the man though no he's great he's great
yeah nick swartz oh he didn't text me back either what the fuck i asked this this was weird right
did you guys watch this no it was weird he said he was on uh just casually woke up on TMZ travel tip. Don't drink and take edibles at high altitude.
It was weird.
I love Nick, but it was rough.
Nah, Nick is the best.
Yeah, the absolute best.
Adam Carolla sent me that little red wagon.
Oh, cute.
Yeah.
Oh, cool.
Yeah.
That's cool.
Radio flyer?
No, he's for my kid.
That's what I'm saying.
A radio flyer?
I'm not sure.
I got to send you something.
I'm going to send you some pre-workout.
For my kid?
It looks like that.
One of these?
Yeah.
That's cute.
Yeah.
That radio flyer thing.
Yeah, it's a little red wagon.
I have it on my Instagram.
Yeah, we saw it.
So people, all they do is talk about Rachel's titties.
Back to, yeah, she does some massive slappers.
I mean, it's like, I didn't even notice until I was like, oh, man, these are big-ass titties.
Yeah.
And she went like this.
My titties look good in this.
I was like, oh, that's why you put it up?
Hosting SNL next week.
That would be so funny.
If they call the house, it's like, SNL.
They're like, oh, yeah, Eric.
Oh, yeah, great.
Is Rachel there?
I'd be like, what?
We heard she's really funny.
So, yeah, we've got an opportunity for you.
So we're going to go over some wardrobe with you real quick.
Forget the sketches.
We've got an opportunity for you guys.
Me and Eric?
No, you and your tits.
She's a decent actress, but I do want you to watch.
She's so bad.
I just want you to watch. No, so bad. I just want you to watch...
No, she's not. Is she bad?
I don't think I've ever seen her in anything, to be honest.
Let me give you a hate watch movie.
I want you to watch this.
The one with the guy, Len Powell.
If you're watching a Korean movie, I'm going to quit the show.
That one.
The Voyeur.
Oh, what's that?
It's on Amazon Prime.
It's on Tubi Plus.
Look at me.
I love Tubi.
It's on Tubi Plus.
It is one of the worst
movies. You've seen Fast X?
I've ever seen it in my life.
I know, I know. This is worse than that.
I know, I know. But what is The Voyeur?
It's...
It's new, right? It's new-ish.
It's not The Voyeur.
It's not plural. That's what my mom does.
She pluralizes everything. You're like, Mom. Not that one.
Not now. You're 94. She was four in it.
And it's not with Sidney Sweeney because it says Sidney
Sweeney in it.
Oh, Eric was wrong.
Eric was wrong.
Nick was right.
Is that her? She looks good in this.
I've never seen this thing.
It is
honestly
what happens in this movie
what happens in the movie is
At the end you go
What?
You have to watch it
You just gotta watch it
Did you motherfuckers see
Memories of Murder?
No I haven't watched it
No I haven't
I don't wanna talk about it
Hey Nick
Did you
With Nick Swartzen
He was just up there going
What was he doing?
He was doing
Jason Statham
Impressions I didn't see that part I just saw him He was like pretty inco. What was he doing? He was doing Jason Statham impressions.
I didn't see that part.
I just saw him.
He was pretty incoherent.
He tried to tell a Norm MacDonald story, but he was just repeating himself.
I hate to see it.
I hate to see it.
I don't want.
I actually don't want to look at it.
I don't want.
I love him.
That's my point.
I don't like.
I found out about this on my podcast.
So I was like, what's going on here?
And I was looking at it.
But yeah.
I'm just saying.
So insensitive.
Drugs, alcohol, those types of of things and how it affects people i just don't like to see it yeah
you know yeah when you get escorted off your own show your own show it's tough it's tough yeah
and no one really seemed like oh they shouldn't have done that. Everybody was like, you know, that's probably a good idea. I don't know.
But he's the man.
Yeah, yeah.
Nick is loved.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
So that's why it's like.
He'll be fine, too.
And he even posted, he's like, I'll make it up to you guys. I forget where it was at.
But he's like, I'll make it up to you.
That's all.
We do a free show or something.
He's a great dude.
Yeah, the best.
Yeah, last time I talked to him.
Yeah, when I was talking to him.
It was probably two years.
He was living at a hotel.
Yeah. It was in Florida or something
right
that guy's different
how much money is this
he's different
but I feel like he just
any money he gets
he spends though
like he's just like
oh I have money now
fuck it
and I'll work another thing
oh I'm at my
I don't know
that's the sense I get from him
he's always working
you know what he needs
a husband
he had one
no he had one
he quit comedy
because he had a husband he was like a chef or something like that he said he was going to quit and then he had one. He quit comedy because he had a husband.
He was like a chef
or something like that.
He said he was going to quit
and then he started doing this.
He came back.
Yeah, because he got married,
quit.
Because what that sounds like is,
doesn't that sound like your wife?
If there's money,
they spend it.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
That's what it sounds like to me.
Oh, you're saying
he's like a sugar daddy.
No.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
That's stupid.
That'd be stupid. No. All right, let's see he's like a sugar daddy. No. No, no, no, no. That's stupid. That'd be stupid.
All right, let's see what's up with the fucking thing here.
This man
just didn't want to go on the gay stairs.
Why didn't he walk up the side, though?
So he did the gayest thing he could
possibly do? Yeah.
Rubbing on his cock and stuff.
That's funny.
That's Meek Mill.
Meek Mill takes the stairs. Meek Mill takes the stairs so i don't take no gay stairs
i take the pussy stairs check it out i'm not gay look how i went up these stairs i want these
stairs to be so wet because they're pussy stairs i can't even get up them
i'll be fucking these stairs i don't care about these fucking gay ass stairs um that's too far
what people i guess it's funny that guy
did just for the fight he did it for a job he did just for the yeah that's funny but but i'm saying
there are people who would like be standing oh that's crazy that's great that's that's gay
ass you know you just go like go around too far bro yeah too far it just doesn't make any sense
any of it doesn't make any sense what is this what is this oh what is this i love that starts like this whatever it is i mean i love you i'm in this dude yeah this is just an old
workout vhs oh dude oh i've seen this pretty incoherent is that nick's dad right there
it looks like nick it looks like it looks like nick and chris
videos yeah it's gonna be a little nick right there it looks like nick and Chris. It's like Nick's whole video. It's going to be a little Nick right there. It looks like Nick and Chris doing a workout video.
This is all I have to remember.
This is all you have of your father?
That would be hilarious.
Watch how Matt follows along with his exercise routine.
The beginning part of it, and then later we'll show you some exercises
you won't be able to follow along with.
The last exercise for the calves is called jumping up and down.
And to follow along with Zari. He's gonna do ten of them
One two three four now what we're gonna do
Or now my friend
Talk about the relationship with fitness no pre-production
Next thing we're gonna do I wish to say that our government is a two-faced hypocrite.
The next thing we're going to do, we're going to have a race between Czar. I think they chalked it up.
That was big in the market.
22 years.
If I stay on Twitter, look at them racing.
No shoes on?
I'd like to thank all my friends that came over to put this exercise together.
No shoes on? I'd like to thank all my friends that came over to put this exercise together.
And Joel's going to donate 20% of his profits to charity to his church.
We did our best.
If we'd been surprised, we could have done better.
That guy's dead now, right?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, my God.
This guy's in the cold bath afterwards.
Cold plunging is bonkers.
Isn't it great?
What was that, man?
That was like our government is two-faced.
I found the name of it.
Fuck.
I mean, that sure is true.
Someone put a lot to unpack there.
That sure is true.
A lot to unpack there.
That sure is true, dude.
That sure is.
Wow.
That is just.
That was. That is the worst
Rocks winning
Workout with weights
The worst video
They did good with alliteration there
Wow
Oh fuck
I have a new favorite
You remember Kevin James
Was with the memes
Yeah
I got
I got
I got one that Is just I just, I can't stop watching it.
And it can be used for a bunch of stuff.
I don't even honestly really care what the meme is.
The pictures and the videos to it are top cocksucking notch.
They're so funny, bro.
I can't get enough of it.
What is it?
It's Tyson Fury, dude.
And I'm going to fucking send it to you guys.
Now I'm dying to see it, especially with Tyson Fury.
Did you guys see Mike Tyson doing that boxing workout?
No.
Training?
No.
He's 57.
No, there was a guy.
With a body shield on? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's in myth, yeah. Oh, all right. No, there was a guy with a body shield on.
Yeah, yeah. That's in myth, yeah.
Oh, alright. I was like, this dude.
I'm looking for it. No.
Andre Pettinaris, right? The coach.
Okay, I'm sending it.
That's crazy. I mean, do you think he can fight
right now? Depends.
You saw him fight. What's his name? Could he do. Well, you saw him fight. What's his name?
Could he do one fight, like a real fight show?
You saw what's his name?
If he was throwing it.
He didn't want you hitting the head, though.
Yeah.
You sent that?
I sent it to you, yeah.
Boom, boom.
On Golden Hour.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Bro. bro dude
look at his face
look at that one
and then the one
where he's standing
in the thing
that one
dude
it's so funny to me
that he took
any of these
did Tyson make this
no
but it's just
a meme account just for him i'll call
your enemy jesus i'd love your enemy just do this whole meme account and all they do is keep
reposting that one with other shit go go go go to other ones go to other ones go down
they're all like half of them are that when which says all men are liars so you pull
up pull up her 210 mates Instagram comments I was hoping for more Chris no
I told you it's it's about the video do you have the same it why do you have
this teacher why do you have the same answer for your friend me because we
had the same question that video of him why did he take those look do you have it i'm sure there's
i'm sure there's a couple of photo shoots you've done that if we put it on a video you'd be like
what the fuck no no no no i'm not saying they're bad they're funny but but but they in this context
they're funny i love tyson fury that's hilarious that's funny he's a good meme guy he's a good love Tyson Fury.
That's hilarious.
That's fun.
He's a good meme guy. He's a good meme guy.
People need to get on that meme. Look at how many of those are that one.
Bro, they know
they got a gold mine right there with that one.
That's a lot.
You know what I mean?
That one said when your sex
state's been leaked, but the description is big cock which one it's right there
the fucking stupidest zoom
oh man dice and fury huh that's a gold mine They know they're sitting on a gold mine with that one, dude.
What else you got, Nicholas?
Nick, are you going to UFC 299 by chance?
Mm-mm.
Really?
No.
You go to all sorts of shit.
I think you'd have fun at one of those game breads.
We talked to this guy before.
When's the next one?
They're always in Florida, though, aren't they?
It's legalized in Florida.
New Orleans is next.
Mississippi and I think Tennessee.
Anytime something is legalized someplace.
That means it's about to be lit.
Yeah.
Florida.
It's about to be lit, though.
They legalize slap fighting in California, so I think we'll be all right.
You got to see.
Hey, the next one's in LA.
Oh, nice.
I'll say that, but I can't say what the main event is.
Oh, I think they announced it.
Nope, they haven't. Okay, but I think they announced it. Nope, they haven't.
Okay, but I think I saw that.
So slap fighting wasn't legal in California yet?
No.
Why was it illegal?
Because it's stupid as shit.
It's real dumb.
Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on a second.
They allow a 250-pound man running 20 miles an hour to slam into another man with 1,000 pounds of force.
You talking about football?
Yeah.
And that's okay.
Yeah.
You talking about Hacksaw Jim Duggan?
So I can go to Lizzo concert, but I can't do slap fighting?
Oh, you vibing now.
What does that have to do?
That's hilarious.
That has to be the Brendan meme
Where he goes like
You know
I can go
There's a concert
But I can't go slap fighting
I don't understand
Oh man
I don't understand
Why you can't have slap fighting
Cause they're like
If you're gonna do it
Do it
Can you do karate in California
No no karate
What the fuck
It seems dumb to me right
Nobody else
Is on my train with you
Did you just fucking fart hard?
Dude, so hard.
You know what I was thinking right before that?
The right before you farted, I thought, man, it's always so cold in here.
How funny is that, dude?
Man, it's always so cold in here.
That kind of one, too. It was that one. Dude, it's that pre-workout, it's always so cold in here. That kind of one, too.
That would...
It was that one.
It's that pre-workout, bro.
I don't feel good.
What else you got?
Brendan got to see Charles Bennett fight.
He's lost 20 fights in a row.
Look at...
Oh, my God.
He has?
Yeah.
That's like a WWF weekly loser.
That's every...
Why does he keep going?
He needs the money.
But why do people... If he keeps losing, why do people want to keep seeing him?
That's the question.
He's like a staple in the MMA.
He fought in Pride, Rise In,
fucking King of the Cage.
He's been all over.
So he's like a staple.
But I think now, his 20th or 25th loss in a row,
even GameBread's like, we're good.
Well, if you were going to get back into it,
this would be your first fight, right?
If he was a heavyweight, yeah, 100%.
If he was a heavyweight,
I'd be like, no, don't let him go yet.
That's what they have him for.
Don't let him go yet.
We want to get,
we want to,
we want to test their fight.
They get that guy.
So in that fight,
the first fight of the night,
you had a guy,
this is his nickname,
Joe the Party
versus Charles Felon.
That was the first fight of the night. The Party versus the Felon. That was the first fight of the night.
The Party versus the Felon.
Wow.
Fucking yeah.
Tyson Fury me.
Yeah.
Tyson Fury me.
Here comes the fucking Party versus Felon.
They had some good fights, though.
Oh, yeah.
Chase Sherman out.
Nicholson was amazing.
Is this not UFC?
No.
Is this like a competitor?
Bro, you see that Anvar boy Nazarov? Can you explain it to me? Because I don't understand. I'll explain it. Chairman Al Nicholson is amazing. Is this not UFC? No. Is this like a competitor?
Bro, you see that Anvar boy Nazaroff?
Explain it to me because I don't understand.
I'll explain.
So this Anvar boy Nazaroff, right?
We have to do fighter meetings.
He comes in.
The record says five and three.
He has like a translator there.
I go, five and three?
You don't have a lot of experience.
You have the least experience here.
They start laughing.
I'm like, why are you guys laughing?
He has over 150 fights.
I went, excuse me?
They went, yeah, he fought in Thailand.
Listen, dude, he fought in Thailand prisons.
This is what they do in Thailand.
I knew it.
In my mind, I was like, oh, this guy probably fought in prison.
Bro, no, but he wasn't in prison.
In Thailand, they're so into Muay Thai.
The prisoners, whether they're for life, double murder,
if they beat up a professional, they get their freedom.
Oh, come on, bro.
So they would bring him in.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. No, no they train for it but they bring this killer in and go to my instagram go to my
instagram nick go to my instagram so they bring this killer in and i go hold on dude these guys
can fight for this out of jail i said these guys can fight for their freedom i go did you let any
of them win he goes absolutely not i go how'd it go he goes undefeated he was i knocked every one
of them out that's it right there.
So his fight is 15 seconds long.
Oh, really?
Because Rob, he blew my mind.
He has over 100 Muay Thai fights, fought in Thailand, did that whole thing.
And he goes, I've even been in fights in a Thailand prison where I fought a prisoner.
The prisoner won.
He got his freedom.
I said, oh, man, did you let him win?
He goes, hell no.
That's what type of animal...
Let's see here.
Spook!
Oh shit!
I cussed.
I cussed on him.
Can you?
Because I threw it on my...
Oh shit!
Fuck yeah.
Oh my God.
How tall is that guy?
4'7".
Yeah.
But that's crazy, though.
Did you see the...
I love that.
How much you weigh?
The referee has to stop it.
1'45".
How many referees did he actually knock out?
None.
Really?
Shit.
So, all right.
So, all right.
So this is mixed martial arts though, right?
Yes. It's mixed martial arts without gloves.
Bare knuckle mixed martial arts.
It's real shit.
So that's not true about him fighting for freedom, you know?
And his coach goes, think how hard those prisoners fought.
You think he's worried about three rounds tomorrow night?
I went, Mufasa.
First of all, even if they fought hard, you're in a prison.
Yeah, you're not going to be able to.
But it's Thailand.
You're not working out.
No, everyone comes up training in Muay Thai.
So even those prisoners, even though they're for life or whatever, murder,
they have a background in Muay Thai.
What's the incentive to do that?
Awesomeness?
Entertainment?
It's like Julius Caesar.
What's the incentive for any person to fight on any level?
Money.
Okay.
Competition?
It's not even a lot of money.
This murderer goes free.
It must have been the people who were wrong.
He got in here for a dime bag.
Fight. If you get free, if you fight. He's like, what. He got in here for a dime bag. Fight.
If you get free, if you fight.
He's like, what?
I'm only here for two weeks.
Fight for your freedom.
Yeah.
But imagine if you're there for, let's say, 40 years.
You get a jaywalking ticket.
You're just there for a night.
You're like, we want you to fight.
I'd be like, I'm going to be out of here.
I'm chilling, bro.
No, they lock you up for life for jaywalking over there.
You're the white guy that was a tourist.
You're like, look, it's an Adam Sandler movie.
You know what I mean?
That's a good movie.
I can't fight him.
That's more like Cat Williams, yo.
Who, what?
Oh.
I didn't know partial arts was in.
Oh, wow.
Now, this is my shit.
This is all my algorithm.
These kinds of things.
Yeah, this is the kind of thing that when somebody sends it to me,
I see it in my text chain.
I don't click on it so my algorithm doesn't get fucked up. Yeah, my algorithm. These kinds of things. Yeah, this is the kind of thing that when somebody sends it to me, I see it in my text chain, I don't click on it
so my algorithm
doesn't get fucked up.
Yeah, my algorithm is fucked.
It'll be that
or fat people getting hurt.
That's really weird.
Why?
Just doing fat shit
and they just fall
and they get hurt
and you're just like,
oh no, don't do that.
I don't know about those kinds of things.
Or it'll be like this one.
I saw this one
where it's this really big fat woman
and she has these spandex pants things, right?
What's this song?
Make that song stop.
She's putting her stomach in the pants.
Oh, like the rolls?
And when she gets finished, she's still fat as fuck.
But looks way better.
It looks way better.
And then I see that, and then I know.
I get my popcorn because these
comments are gonna be you're stupid bro I mean oh man those are the best do the
comments are like you know it's like all the time she took to do that she should
be exercising it's like all that kind of shit do you watch America's Funniest
video yeah oh bro I feel like you would yeah well what do you mean I just I feel
like you would watch this now Well, what do you mean? I feel like you would watch it.
Yeah, but that's this now.
I don't know how they're still in business.
Do they still do it?
Oh, yeah.
I'm before American Idol.
That's why I see it.
Oh, wow.
Who hosts it?
American Idol's getting good.
Homeboy from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
Still?
Yeah.
Oh, I didn't know it was still on.
He's so corny.
My girl's like, would you do that job if they paid you enough?
I'm like, probably.
I'm waiting for Steve Harvey to die
so I can do Fami Fugue.
Oh, man.
It's our race, ass!
I'm ready for that.
That's...
I don't know what I was going to say.
I was going to say something about the...
American Idol?
Yeah, no.
Oh, America's Funniest Home Videos, yeah.
That show was always corny,
but it was always good.
It's wholesome.
Yeah.
There's some funny stuff. I mean, even when Bob Saget did it was corny but he was good at it it was good he was great at it yeah what's this nick what's up golden boys travis
and palm beach i got a birthing question you guys are all probably done having kids maybe not i
don't know but what's your guys' story in the birthing room?
Did you participate?
Were you back behind the goal line or all up in there?
So with my son, I caught him.
I put him up on her stomach or whatever.
I cut the cord.
My daughter's due in about six weeks.
I'll be doing the same, I assume, as long as everything goes well.
So what was your guys' story, how did it go?
Were you a big participant in the event?
So I didn't know.
First of all, like when you're a guy, you don't know nothing about birth, right?
Right.
So the first time when you hear like someone's in labor, say, for 38 hours,
When you hear like someone's in labor, say, for 38 hours, before this, I thought that meant they were sitting on a table with their legs spread for 38 hours and they were pushing for 38 hours.
That's what I thought before this.
Now I know that it's just like the cervix.
I guess that's what I thought too. Once it starts to expand, that labor has started.
So we're in this room now.
We were there for two days before she finally, you know.
And so then it was like the morning of
the Thursday morning you know of the
first. And a midwife comes
in really early. This has been tough
two days for Rachel. Wait. This is trying
to happen. And then you know they check
her and then the lady goes oh my god
you're 10 centimeters. You can start
pushing. You know. And I'm in the room.
Now I'm set up in the corner of this
room. You got your Xbox there. I got my snack area set up. You know I'm in the room. Now, I'm set up in the corner of this room. You got your Xbox there. I got my snack
area set up. I'm chilling over here.
This is the closest to homeless you're going to feel
is when you're over there in the birthing
room as a dude. And so then
they go, you start pushing. And then she says,
Dad, grab her leg.
And I was like...
Your dad's here? Yeah. I was like,
grab her leg.
So I'm holding her leg during this process.
And then, you know, you lock eyes with that Sarlacc pit.
And you're just like, you know.
Never again.
You know, it felt like.
And you know what it's like?
You ever watch those, like, you ever watch an ear cleaning video?
Yeah.
And they're trying to get the wax out.
And you're watching the video.
And you're like, just take it out already.
Right?
That's what birth is like. I couldn't have done that. Because the head is there. And you're just like video and you're like just take it out already right that's what birth is like i couldn't have done that because the head is there and you're just
like can you just fucking get him out of there give me this fucking it was crazy man i couldn't
have done it was crazy i stayed by she told me to stay behind and i did me too i stayed but i
oh i i wish i would have done that because it was like she said i don't want i don't want you to go
there's nothing sexy about you'll never let your girl the same you don't. You don't. It was crazy. You look down there and you see.
Asshole.
You don't want to do it.
Yeah.
You don't want to do it.
But my thing was like, I was so like amazed at like, you know, because you see the head
is like this, right?
You know?
And then you're just kind of like, how are the shoulders going to get out of there?
They figure it out.
I just was like, I was like, God damn, this kid is already destroying my wife's pussy.
They wiggle through that vagina like Jim Carrey in Ace Ventura.
You guys see, that's the only thing.
I just thought, oh my God, my son.
No, I keep his sex.
I kept my head above.
Wrecking my wife's pussy.
Just wrecking it.
If you look close enough, you can see Timothee Chalamet is there.
Yeah.
It's a wasteland.
Well, a little white twink came out of, you know.
And then, but then it comes out and you're just like, oh, my God.
You forget all about the nonsense.
But I was like, what the fuck?
Like, I have to cut the.
Yeah, I did that.
I didn't like doing that.
Yeah.
Why not?
Because it was just kind of like, okay.
Did they vaccinate your kid right away?
This is like symbolic.
Came out with a mask on.
Yeah.
And a Ukraine flag.
It was. Is this Chael Ukraine flag. It was amazing to watch the whole process.
Yeah, I stayed behind her shoulders.
But that was her request.
She's smart.
Whatever makes you comfortable.
Yeah, that's the thing, too, is you're just like, I'm holding her leg.
I mean, if that's what she wanted me to do, I would have done it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But what I'm saying, though, is you're in this room that I didn't realize we were giving birth in this room.
Oh.
So she's pushing and everything's happening.
Are you not in the procedure room?
No, no.
We were in.
I didn't know.
Where it's freezing?
Yeah, but I didn't know that we were going to do this.
The bed that she was in is the bed she was going to give birth in.
So then they come, and then the doctor finally gets there. Then they dismantle
everything. And all of a sudden, I'm like
Transformers.
Yeah, it was like
her legs.
I was like, wow.
It was incredible. What's this guy want, Nick?
Last one. Roll out.
Bless you.
Too fast, huh?
Hey, you farted and sneezed
he snorted hell hey what's up golden hour i'm neil from florida i sent you guys this video so there's this like old commercial that used to play all the time late 90s early 2000s and it was
like one of those cheesy government commercials for fair housing.
Me and my friend randomly remember this and we quote it all
the time, just crack each other up.
I wanted to get you guys to take on it and just see
if you remember
it, but also just how crazy how
they would never put this out anymore.
Love the show, guys.
Keep up what you do. Later.
Hello. Can I ask
a few questions about the apartment on Park Street?
What was your name?
My name?
My name is Juan Hernandez.
It's been rented.
Oh, he's gone.
Hello.
My name is Sanjay Kumar.
I am calling about the apartment on Park Street.
It's not available.
Not available?
Hello.
My name is Tyrone Washington.
I'm calling about the apartment on Park Street.
It's been rented.
Hello.
I am Chen Lin. My name is Khalid Inali. I'm Tuan Vo apartment on Park Street. Just been rented. Hello, I am Chen Lin.
My name is Khalid Inali.
I'm Tuan Vo.
Hello, my name is Moshe Goldberg.
I use a wheelchair.
It's gone. Not available.
All right. Thank you.
Oh, yes. Hello, my name is Graham Wellington.
I'm calling about the apartment for rent on Park Street.
Is that still available?
Yes, it is.
It is? Yes. it is. It is?
Yes.
Really?
Housing discrimination is illegal.
If you think you've been a victim because of your race, color, national origin, sex, religion, disability, or family status, call us.
It's effective.
Fair housing.
It's not an option.
It's the law.
It's the law.
I would love to watch the directing of this.
The guy's like, yeah, more Asian. You're not selling it. It's the law. Imagine you're, I would love to watch the directing of this. The guy's like,
yeah, more Asian.
Yeah, yeah.
You're not selling it.
This shit was funny.
Wow.
He got fired from SNL.
Yeah, yeah.
That was well done.
That guy's getting canceled now.
Yeah.
Wow.
Hey, he was good at the voices, huh?
No, but this,
but you know what's funny?
I don't remember that commercial at all.
Me neither.
No.
But the funny thing is like, people, they're missing the point. Yeah. That's the funny thing about this now. It's like, you know what's funny? I don't remember that commercial at all. Me neither. But the funny thing is people, they're missing the point.
Yeah.
That's the funny thing about this now.
If you're one of these woke liberal types, you would see this and be like, I can't believe
that guy's...
He's like, do you know what he's doing this for?
Don't forget the overall point that some racist shit is really going on.
Yeah.
It was too well done to get the message.
Is that it, Nicholas?
That's it.
All right. Now, isn't this great that we can just... it, Nicholas? That's it. All right.
Now, isn't this great that we can just.
Yeah, you called it, dude.
All right.
Guys, Atlanta, Punchline, March 15th through the 17th.
Come check me out there.
I'm going to be in the Looney Bin in April.
And check me out at the Mothership in Austin 26.
I'm doing a whole bunch of theaters.
Just go to Chrisley.com.
It's all over the country.
We don't care about your theater. And I'm going to be in Florida. I'm going to be in frigging Saginaw. I'm going a whole bunch of theaters. Just go to ChrisLeed.com. It's all over the country. We don't care about your theater.
I'm going to be in Florida. I'm going to be in
Saginaw. I'm going to be in Tulsa.
I'm going to be in Austin.
Nanaimo. I'm going to a place called Nanaimo.
Austin.
One night only. March 29th.
Fire and Kid Live. That's it.
Love you guys. Ciao.
Pluto TV is as easy as it is free.
And it's totally free. With over 300 channels and thousands of TV shows Love you guys. Ciao. scrolling, and a whole lot more time watching. That's why Pluto TV is TV the way it should be.
All you need to do is download the app and start streaming.
Pluto TV, stream now, pay never.
Sometime in the early 80s,
REO Speedwagon's airplane made an unannounced
middle-of-the-night landing.
This is my friend Kyle McLaughlin, the star of Twin Peaks.
And he's telling me about how he discovered
a real-life Twin Peaks in rural North Carolina,
not far from where he filmed Blue Velvet.
What was on the plane was copious amounts of drugs
coming in from South America.
Supposedly, Pablo Escobar went looking for other spots,
quiet, out-of-the-way places to bring in his cocaine.
My name is Joshua Davis, and I'm an investigative reporter.
Kyle and I talk all the time about the strange things we come across,
but nothing was quite as strange as what we found in Varnumtown, North Carolina.
There's crooked cops, brother against brother.
Everyone's got a story to tell, but does the truth even exist?
Welcome to Varnum
Town Varnum Town is available wherever you listen to podcasts Thank you.