The Golden Hour - We're ToeJam & Earl | The Golden Hour #49 w/ Brendan Schaub & Chris D'Elia
Episode Date: October 6, 2023Brendan loves Chris' new outfit and the guys talk mourning the skinny jeans fashion, Brendan's experience attending Skankfest, Chris getting more tattoos and cupping for the first time, the amazing Sp...here in Vegas, Craig Jones choking out Alex Jones, the most annoying quality about their wives and much more! BiOptimizers - https://magbreakthrough.com/golden and use promo code GOLDEN Get two extra episodes every month at https://Patreon.com/TheGoldenHourPodcast
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We're friends that laugh, we're friends that shout
Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about
But that won't stop us
Nothing can stop us
It's like a show you used to love
Just rebranded enough
It's stronger, better, bigger power
Cause it is the Golden Hour
It's the Golden Hour
Okay, I'm starting the podcast now.
Love you.
Yeah, I can't text that.
I can't say it, right?
And we're live.
Three, two.
You could include that part.
You're dressed like a bad bitch today, dude.
Why do you mean that? Because I'm comfortable?
You dress like a hot girl at the gym.
You got your sweats on.
You got the white sneaks, the red top.
Oh, I see what you're saying.
Big tits.
Kind of do it for it, yeah.
Yeah, it's
not my leg you know that's not your leg nope all you're missing is some beat headphones around
your neck oh dude i i don't like when people listen to the um noise canceling no i don't
like when people listen to the uh like have them in your ears when you're working out i think it's
so weird because it gets sweaty right yeah but it, but it looks cool. Oh, does it? Is that the thing? I guess that's the thing.
I mean, you're an influencer.
You're a fitness guru.
I'm a YouTuber.
You're a fitness.
I'm a fitness YouTuber.
Yes.
No, I'm a fitness Instagram model.
Yeah, like when I go to Zoo Culture, every girl is dressed like that.
And then when they do their sets, they take it off and they hang it on the side.
Like this.
And then do work.
Like this?
They hang it on the side.
Hang what on the side?
The headphones.
Oh, the beads.
Got it.
Yeah.
I got the speakers in the front.
Talking about them tits.
Yeah.
I don't.
So that looks good to have these here, I guess?
They're all doing it, man.
And they don't look like warlocks.
And you know, they stink like shit.
I don't care, though, right? They don like shit. I don't care though, right?
They don't care.
I don't care either.
I care.
I care.
I care.
Dude, and I'm in a caloric deficit, dude.
You trying to lean up?
What do you do?
Intermittent fasting?
No, dude.
No.
Listen.
Well, yesterday I did, but I didn't mean to.
Here's the deal.
I did a caloric deficit for a few days, listen. Well, yesterday I did, but I didn't mean to. Here's the deal. I did a caloric deficit for a few days, dude.
And here's the thing.
Homeless guys go.
I like it.
Yeah.
So here's the thing.
I lost 12 pounds so far.
Oh, shit.
In one day?
No, no, bro.
You said you just started investing.
When I cut off my leg?
No, no, no, no, because I've been working out for four months.
That's why also.
But no. leg. No, no, no, no, because I've been working out for four months. That's why also. But no.
So if I go by the scale today, which was what I was today, I lost 14 pounds.
That's a lot for you because you're skinny.
But you were built like Toe Jam and Earl before, you think?
I wasn't, dude.
And good pull.
Remember that?
I remember it.
And I haven't thought about it in a while, so good pull.
But no, I wasn't built like Toe Jam and Earl, okay?
I'm built like Johnny Bravo, period.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
And so that's us, by the way.
That's our podcast.
That's us without Eric.
We're like you and Eric, right?
Yeah.
But so, no, I do, yeah, there I am.
That's how I'm built, dude.
Because look at his legs, dude.
Look at the fucking, look at the blue right there, yeah.
That's me with brunetto.
Dude, skinny jeans are out, huh?
Are you freaking out?
No, no, I have a bunch of different styles. That's me with brunetto. Dude, skinny jeans are out, huh? Are you freaking out? No.
No, I have a bunch of different styles.
I got to get rid of one pair, though, that's too skinny.
Are you going to head towards the JNCO vibe?
So I have there.
Look at that, dude.
That's me at 176.
That's you currently?
No, 196.
You're Shredville.
I was very sinewy there, yeah. yeah bro you look like hugh jackman heavy
on the jack now if you go to uh my you can see my jeans if you go to my instagram page um the
jeans that i have that are a little bit bigger uh you need to mute it but go down that's me and a i
go down go down go down go down go to that one right there where i'm laughing in the middle
there we go you see you see the you see the jeans watch the jeans look at the jeans
just when they pull out look at the jeans dude like i had the skinny jeans and then look what
he did when he went to fucking canada look what he did he was staying right next to a place with
some really nice jeans but like some all right look i'm gonna throw a guy out so look okay i'm
sure you'd see the yeah well it pulls out i don't know i'm not i don't know the the time stamp you know what i mean but what was the guy doing oh he he there
we go look at those jeans dude okay you got them dad jeans with the dad kicks your dad your daddy
there that's how we do you know what the problem is with those jeans like look at you there you
look fat right no i don't look fat dude look at my shoulders bro look at my delts no no up top
we good baby baby. Bro.
Below that, though, you look like dad.
You're going to grill right now.
Here's what people subconsciously don't realize is that they know I'm not fat.
So when they see me like that, they go like this.
Okay.
It's obviously he's very sinewy and he's very beefy.
Look at my delts up on the top.
You think they're going, oh, it's Shredville underneath that?
Subconsciously, yeah. Now think about this. If you they're going, oh, it's Shredville underneath that?
Subconsciously, yeah. Then now think about this.
If you're not a fan,
maybe there's people that don't know who you are.
And they do do that.
Nobody know who you are.
You're walking down the street,
they're going, that's just a fat dad.
They do think that, right.
That's the problem with big jeans.
But jokes on them, though.
But jokes on them.
Yeah, because we released them daddy jeans.
Come see me get my heart rate going at the gym.
You get it.
Operation Shredville.
Dude, I got my heart rate to 176 yesterday, and I almost died.
Is that high?
It's high for a guy for my age, for my weight, yeah.
All right, what's yours, bro?
I don't know, dude.
Yeah, it's...
I just go.
Do you know what your...
I just go.
Okay.
All the testing, I just go.
Okay, well.
I know.
Anywhere.
What's your resting heart rate?
Four.
It beats four times.
This is even a flex.
When I was fighting, I think when I was fighting,
Mitrione went to the doctor because you have to do all the.
You're dead.
Yeah, he was like, you're basically dead.
No, my resting heart rate was 37.
37 or 38?
I'm just guessing.
No, no.
That is crazy.
It was like 38 or 30.
It was right below 40. And the guy's like, and he worked with Lance Armstrong.
He's like, you're tied for Lance Armstrong for the best wrestling heart rate.
Come on.
That is so crazy.
So your heart was working so good.
Yeah, and I wasn't on EPO, so I take the crown.
What's that?
EPO?
Oh, you weren't on it?
No, I wish.
Oh, this is the way you talk. I didn't know what the fuck you said. Okay, so you beat me there. Okay. So look, I'm the crown. What's that? EPO? Oh, you weren't on it? No, I wish. Oh, it's just the way you talk.
I didn't know what the fuck you said.
Okay, so you beat me there.
Okay.
So look, I'm on it.
You're a dick, Nick.
That's what the doctor said, bro.
Yeah, he's at 32, which is fake news.
That's crazy.
So every two seconds, it's just...
That's crazy.
The heart falls asleep in the middle.
It's just like...
Yeah.
He goes...
Oh, yeah, we got it. Keep him alive. It's just like, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
We got to keep them alive.
Yeah, keep going.
Yeah.
Wow.
I mean, it's not sucking cock the way you're doing it.
We built this city.
All right.
So that's great, dude. All right.
So we're getting in shape, dude.
Yeah.
What are you doing?
I'm down eight pounds.
Are you?
Yeah.
You look good, though, bro.
You look good. I saw some old clip of you recently. My face? Yeah. You look good, though, bro. You look good.
I saw some old clip of you recently.
My face was fat?
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
Not recent old.
Old, old.
Okay.
Like you were, this was like eight years ago.
And I was like, God damn.
I'm glad you don't look like that anymore.
You look good, but it wasn't, I didn't like it.
Oh, wow.
No, no, no.
You look good.
You look handsome.
It's just like not you.
Yeah, thanks, dude.
I like you with a little bit of gray going on. Oh, thanks, dude. Yeah, you look good, bro. Yeah, daddy moose. Like this good. You look handsome. It's just like not you. Yeah, thanks, dude. I like you with a little bit of gray going on.
Oh, thanks, dude.
Yeah, you look good, bro.
Yeah, daddy moose.
Like this.
What is this shit?
That's Aaron Hernandez.
Yeah.
And also, why are you dressed like a guy that gets so drunk he passes out?
You know what I mean?
He's dressed like a guy that gets so drunk that he'll just be like,
man, last night is classic.
That's you.
I look like Spud McKenzie,
like a real party animal.
God, look at you.
You look like every guy at a wedding party in the Midwest.
Yeah, totally.
I look like the last guy you want to bring around the bridesmaids.
Just, yeah.
I got an idea for us, dude.
I swear to God, I just met this guy we can invest.
You're just like, oh, fuck.
Here comes Brandon.
Yeah, man.
It's the glow up, dude.
It's the glow up.
It is weird, though.
No matter what picture you see of yourself eight years ago,
you look like an asshole.
Not you.
Anyone.
You just look terrible.
I know. You know what I'm saying? Well, the fashion change. I know, but also just take you not you anyone you just look terrible i know you know i'm saying well the fashion change
i know but but also just take you not i mean i guess it has to do with hair but take you not
with the fashion you still look weird as fuck still look strange like just eight years ago
look at yourself and it just you're like what was i doing you're all fucked and and at the time you
were like bro so so you're here too long there right it? You're all fucking... And at the time, you were like, bro, so...
You're here too long there, right?
It is too long.
But so that was the first time I ever headlined.
That picture was taken the first time.
That was nine years ago?
No, you know what?
That was taken at the improv,
but they used that picture for the first time I headlined,
now that I remember, yeah.
People ask me, do you shave your arms?
And I get it now.
Do you see that pic?
Well, it went away. But I don't shave my arms. But I do look like. People ask me, do you shave your arms? And I get it now. Do you see that pic? Well, it went away.
But I don't shave my arms.
But I do look like it.
They look shaved, don't they?
Oh, they do look shaved.
I remember that shirt.
Wait, this is...
This is.
This is a little shaved
because I got some work done here, but...
You got more work?
Hey, will you stop?
This is coming from a guy like me.
Stop getting tattoos, bro.
I won't.
I won't.
I won't.
I fantasized about getting a face tat the other day.
I won't get it, but I did.
I've been there.
I've gotten down that road.
I want to get something on here.
Oh, on your face?
Like they do just right there.
I said face tat, dude.
What do you think?
A tattoo of a face on me?
No, I'm thinking.
I thought you were going like.
No, I'm not.
I'm not.
Like a fucking, what?
The Saw guy?
Yeah.
Like 6'9"?
Yeah.
You're just getting a little something there?
A little tear duct?
Just like a.
I said I'm cross or something.
I don't know.
Oh, wow.
But I'm not.
See, when I thought. Face tat, dude. I thought you meant like that big six no no no that's crazy bro you gotta be all in you
do that she's pretty rainbow rainbow rainbow bright rainbow brizite i'll probably get a tattoo
on my neck when the the daughter comes this how crazy really yeah that's cool This is how crazy, really? Yeah. That's cool. This is how crazy, I want to talk about that, but this is how crazy how awful
this whole picture is, is that
nobody even realizes
how terrible
that shirt is.
Oh, it's so bad. You can't do
multiple camos. You can't think about it because of everything.
That is such a bad shirt.
It's a lot. It's like my kid when he draws,
I'm like, dude, you can't. You can give somebody a seizure,. It's a lot. It's like my kid when he draws. I'm like, dude, you can't. Yeah.
Could you imagine if I won?
You can give somebody a seizure, for God's sakes.
Like how somebody on his squad was like, multiple cameras?
Yeah.
Well, they're just yes men.
Because I have rainbow hair.
You know people with yes men, dude?
It's crazy, right?
You know people with yes men?
Yes men.
Like what?
Yes men.
I'm saying.
Why are you doing that?
Because I'm a yes man oh i know i know
this guy i was just thinking about it he has so many yes men dude and it's just so awful it ends
up fucking you when though because this guy's really successful well if he's what he didn't
he's like crazy successful now yeah but coming up with those same yes men around him
oh i don't know yeah i'd be doing it right i don't know he might be i don't know i feel like the fucking shit's gotta hit the fan
but here's the thing dude he's not a white guy oh he's not he might be able to get away with it
white guys can't oh i know who you're talking about he's not a black guy either no i know
you're talking about yeah i know yeah i know i know that's a different lane it's a different
yeah i know it is isn't it it's a very different all right cool a different lane. Yeah, I know. It is, isn't it? It's a very different lane. All right, cool. Well, wait, wait, wait. You know what? I wish you were at Skank Fest with me.
Oh, yeah.
Did you have a good time, yeah?
The best time.
I was so scared.
Yeah?
I brought my brother just in case we were going to fight people.
And it was totally unnecessary.
Everyone was so nice to me.
Here's the deal, though.
This is real life.
You know what I mean?
You're in your head, right? Well, and online. Yeah, right. But. This is real life. You know what I mean? You're in your head, right?
Well, and online.
Yeah, right.
But that's not real life.
Yeah, I know.
But it's nice to know that it's not real life.
I know.
I know.
I get it.
Trust me.
You know how much hate I get.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I get it.
And most of them are there.
And I was like, oh, here we go.
So I brought my brother.
We both wore athletic shoes in case we had to pop off.
That is hilarious.
And my brother was like, he was just like.
And I was like,
hey, I think we're good now.
Why don't you take it down a notch?
Because you're scaring not only me,
but everybody around.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He was like a pit bull.
He's like, who the fuck wants that? Wow, you wore your ALO shoes?
Oh, dude, I wore some fucking Skechers
laced up tight.
So, yeah, well, good.
It was such a good time, man.
I'm glad.
And Louis is great.
Big J was fucking great.
So you never met them?
Never. Oh, wow. Me and glad. And Louis is great. Big Jay was fucking great. So you never met them? Never.
Oh, wow. Me and Louis had an interaction like eight years ago because he has a podcast network.
We talked a little bit about that and King of the Sting.
Never met the guy before.
Big Jay, we've done shows together.
Dave and I text back and forth because I steal all his political ideas and use them as my
own towards my dad to win arguments.
But other than that, I don't know any of them.
And they were so cool, man.
Oh, good.
That's cool.
When I say nervous, I'm talking I didn't sleep the night before.
Yeah, I get it.
I get it.
You're a real human being.
Yeah, man.
Real.
I know.
Stay real.
Although people want to think that people aren't.
You are.
Thanks, dude.
I'm glad it went well.
Yeah, me too.
Yeah.
Me too, man.
I'll always do it.
Oh, cool.
I was thinking about that.
It'd be so cool if you were there.
He asked me to do it
a year ago or something. You think you're better than us?
No, us, bro.
Oh, no. They're making me
part of Legion of Skanks. Oh, okay, cool.
He asked me to do it. I'm Thick Skank now.
Not this one. It was maybe
a year ago or two years ago.
It was 2021.
You think because you do theaters, you're better than us?
No.
Don't they have theaters?
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, then we're all set, baby.
I just didn't do it because I was not...
I don't think I was doing shows at that point.
Listen, man.
You think you...
I would maybe do it.
I just didn't.
You think you're different than us
Dude I don't
No
Everyone's different
From everyone
Okay
I think that
That's cool
I mean I like grassroots shit
I think it's amazing
Didn't
I don't know when they started
Like 15 years ago
And they own all their own shit
So it's dope
Because it's just for comics
I mean there's some
Club managers there
And you know
Improv And Zanies And Emily And all the comic store And improvs are there shit. So it's dope because it's just for comics. I mean, there's some club managers there and improv and
Zany's and Emily and all the
Comedy Store and improvs are there. But it's not like
the weird networking where like,
hey, Comedy Central's here for your set.
You don't fuck them, so everyone's uptight.
Because they can't...
It's pretty dirty, right?
Skank fest? Yeah, I know. Yes and no.
I mean, did I pick my kid up from school yesterday
in a skank fest shirt? I sure right but i'm saying like they do it's not gonna like would they have seinfeld there
like he's just like i mean they had hey gazebos yeah you know or this is a john malini joke why
is there is it why are there gazebos i mean mark norma was there tim dillon yeah but they
push the envelope a little bit well tim does yeah that. Yeah, that's true. And so does Mark.
Yeah.
Anyway, whatever.
That's great, dude.
I'm glad that that's going well.
I think that's cool that you did it.
Yeah, Ron White's there.
Yeah, but he's a badass.
Doug Stanhope.
I mean.
Definitely pushes that. Yeah.
Doug Stanhope drank piss on stage.
Disgusting.
Disgusting.
Brian Regan.
No, I'm just kidding.
Brian Regan drank piss on stage.
Go, go, go.
This one.
Were there any skanks there?
Because it seems like mostly dude fans.
It's a cock fest.
By the way, what is a skank?
I don't know.
A slut?
Or is it a skunk?
What is a skank?
Can you look it up?
It's got to be Urban Dictionary.
Yeah.
I know it's like a chick that's like...
That was spot on, by the way.
Where's that piss coming from?
Skank definition.
Skank.
A steady paced dance
Okay well not that one
Okay well
A disreputable
Or a sleazy person
Oh sleazy person
Cool
That's a cool name
Yeah it's cool
It's not cool to wear
To your kids school
Good
Now did you do comedy
You did sets
Yeah
Because I know you did
Fighter and a Kid
I did a bunch of sets
Okay and you did
Fighter and a Kid right
We did Fighter and a Kid
With Legion of Skanks
Oh cool
And then we just brought
Everything to life
Is that going to be on
It's going to be on Fire and the Kid.
Nice. That's what's dope is they
aired it live on, I think it was Mint.
And then today I asked Lewis, I'm like,
yo, man, when is the, when you guys drop in the pot?
He's like, that's yours, dude. I was like, what?
He's like, yeah, you guys put it up. I'm like, damn,
just a good dude. Cool.
Yeah. That's awesome. I thought I was going to get
assassinated. But wouldn't that be a great
story, dude? I'd carry, I'd carry, I'd help assassinated. But wouldn't that be a great story, dude?
If I died?
I'd help with everything.
Would you get a face tattoo of like a donut?
No.
Can I pick the tattoo?
No.
Yeah, but well, go ahead.
What would you pick?
A donut would be cool.
I'm really into cars, man.
If you could put like the demon logo from the Hellcat. If you die, you want me to get a face tattoo?
I'm going to be sad every time I look in the mirror.
Oh, he died.
Yeah.
Get it on your heart.
Don't die, dude.
Okay.
I'm going to be covered up by the time you die anyway, dude.
Covered.
Dude, you're going to be covered.
What happened to your elbow, daddy?
Got cupped.
Got cupping done.
Have you ever done it?
Okay. All right. You do it to your asshole. What happened to your elbow, daddy? Got cupped. I got cupping done. Have you ever done it? Oh, yeah. Okay.
All right.
You do it to your asshole so it prolapses?
Bro, that's like the cold plunge trend right now, the whole cold plunge.
I've been doing it since college.
I got a cold plunge.
This is nothing new.
I got a cold plunge.
Yeah, of course.
Everyone's doing it.
It's the trendy thing to do.
I've been doing it since the 80s.
I didn't know about when you were four. Yeah my dad wow all right i didn't know about cupping uh the
guy so i met a dude really nice guy uh works for the lakers came up to me works you know pt for
the lakers anthony anthony and he uh he came up to me i'm sitting down i'm eating i'm alone he
walks up to me and he says hey dude, dude, I'm a huge fan.
Shows me he's listening.
He's watching my podcast, Lifeline, right?
With my brother.
I do it with my brother.
So he says.
He's probably watching this one, but yeah.
I guess he wasn't, but he was watching Lifeline.
He showed it to me.
I have the proof of it in my memory.
So he says, if you ever need anything done, I work for the Lakers.
Let me know.
Did you go, but I'm a comic, though.
I don't have a game coming up.
No, in my head, I go like this. Why would I ever why would i ever need that yeah right who cares i work through the pain it
doesn't matter i'm you know i get my heart rate up high but as we established but it doesn't
matter that much right because i'm a comic right so i'm on a lot i'm on live on instagram live on
lifeline right and he says yo chris what up and i say hey man i got this fucking tennis elbow you
know i got tendonitis or whatever the fuck and he he's like, I'm gonna come over and fix it.
So he comes over.
You said, say less, here's my home address.
I give my home address.
You can read people and he's a guy.
And he's got pictures of Magic Johnson
and shit on his Instagram.
So he has AIDS.
Okay, keep going.
So he shows me what to do and the exercises
and he did cupping.
I didn't know I was gonna do cupping.
And when he did the cupping,
did like a bunch of black.
Oh, dude, it's like,
you mean because you're saying I'm a demon?
No, no, no.
That's why.
It was completely dark red.
It pulls out.
Oh, right.
It pulls out like all the toxins.
It's disgusting.
Yeah, it's nasty, right?
It looks like a gelato,
like mousse, like dark.
Yum, dude.
Yeah, it brings out all like the bad toxins.
Oh, he was going,
so I go,
oh, I'm hungry for ice cream.
So anyway, he was a really cool dude.
Shout out to him. Shout out to that guy. Yeah. So anyway, I got cupping done, cream So anyway He was a really cool dude Shout out to him
Shout out to that guy
Yeah
So anyway
I got cupping done dude
And I have a cold plunge
Look who I am
I have a cold plunge
Cold plunge is so trendy
I've been using it
But plunge sent it to me
Shout out to plunge
Love plunge
Plunge hook a dude up
Nah dude
They don't have ones
That are that big
So we went to
We went
So I got the cold plunge
I haven't used it yet
Because I can't soak my tattoos.
Oh, that's bullshit.
I'll get it done.
You can soak your tattoos.
I know.
You know what I do with my tattoos when I get them?
Live.
I know I do too.
I worked out immediately afterwards.
You're like, don't work out.
I put them in the sun.
I'll go in the ocean.
Well, you're not the best to take advice from.
Dude, I'll rub.
Look at my tats.
There's nothing wrong with them.
Once they're on their own, baby.
I guess so.
It's for life.
But those of your kids were regular before you went out in the sun
and then they turned zombies? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
It was regular portraits and then I turned them green.
Cool. Well, that's cool.
What's going on with this?
It's just a design you wanted to get a sleeve?
This thing? Yeah.
That's my arm, dude. I know, but
why'd you get that design?
Because it's fucking sweet.
So you said that's what
i want or what i just said i want roses and angels there's three angels because i was planning to
have this poor kid so i want three angels for three kids you know i didn't know dude oh wow
and then we did roses and angels and then they just filled it in cute you're cute bro i am
fucking cute dude yeah dude that outfit's lit who outfit's lit. Who goes harder than that?
Who goes harder than that? I would pay to see that guy.
That is fucking awesome, bro.
That guy's better looking than you, though, right?
No.
That guy is.
That guy looks like...
He has lip fillers.
He looks like he edits and is a videographer.
Yeah, he does.
Go one more to the left.
Rick Glassman.
That guy looks like he's going to push the new booster.
Right there.
Yeah, right there.
One, the Rick Glassman lookalike award.
That's AI?
Yeah, that's AI, bro.
My wife did it.
Holy fucking shit.
We were dying.
Dude, my wife.
So I didn't know she did this.
She's showing pictures on her phone.
She swipes past
this picture
and I
bro
could you imagine
how hard that was
yo what did I just catch
that's the best one
what did I just catch
dude she was looking
at other pictures
of her like kids
and then this picture
shows up
and I was like
what is going on
dude she was dying
we were laughing so hard
she just entered
your face into
some program
I don't really know
how it works
apparently everyone's
doing it
I didn't know that
yeah I didn't know
about it until this I'm so old school I don't I'm getting old I don't really know how it works apparently everyone's doing it i didn't know that yeah i didn't know about it i'm so old school last night i'm getting old man i don't know ai
yeah so which one you smashing go go through which one you smashing no not that one pretty
good but he knows he's hot no no no i don't like that i don't like that one okay i hate that oh i
hate that guy that's chris if he did a different job, not a comedian. Dude, that's me if I was from the Ukraine, dude.
No, that's you if you sold real estate in Orange County.
No, I think that I look very ethnic there.
Not really, dude.
You look like a real fuck boy.
Now, that is, I'm gay, right?
I'm a gay man.
That's gay version of Chris.
And that's fine, but this one has HIV.
That's you if you didn't have any childhood trauma.
And he's gay.
Yeah.
Eight mile, Chris?
Miles Spaghetti.
That's a TikTok guy that talks about relationships.
You got to treat women better.
That's good.
I'm not fucking any of you.
That's the one.
No, I don't like that guy.
That guy looks like he's going to roofie me at fucking a nightclub in Vegas.
Go back.
No.
God, no.
That shirt.
The two shirts, the 100 and the one in the front.
Worse than Tekashi69.
All right, next one.
Ooh, bro.
Charlie Day.
That's Chris if you never made it.
Yeah, this is terrible.
That's stressed out Chris trying to feed the family.
So definitely we agree that we would suck off the fucking magician John Stoneman.
No, go back.
I'm fucking that guy.
Let's suck him off, right?
That guy should be, what was that movie?
Look at that fucking fist.
No, you look like a vampire.
What was it?
One of my favorite movies as a kid.
Oh, Lost Boys?
Yes.
You look like the lost boy.
The most lost boy.
Yeah.
I'm just going, where am I the whole time?
All right. So yeah. Do we have a, where am I the whole time? All right.
So, yeah.
Do we have a thing?
Are we doing a thing?
Oh, wow, look at that.
A little bit of Joey Lawrence, I felt like, from this.
Yeah, a little bit.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Boy, his girl there has a fucking nose, huh?
She is awesome.
I met her once.
Take it down a notch.
She's super nice.
You know she's a fucking-
She's a genius.
Yeah.
Yeah, you know, she was the host for Jeopardy,
but she's like a legit rocket scientist, I think.
But I think the rocket's in her nose.
Bilem?
Bilem?
Myambiolik.
Bilem?
Myambiolik?
Myam Toucan.
Myambiolik.
No, she's awesome.
I love her.
I heard she's great.
Wicked smart, too.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, she's on Blossom.
And bloated right
was she on wasn't she on um uh blossom but also big bang yes yeah there you go loaded let's take
a little break because lately i've been lying awake at night for hours you know both our brains
just don't stop daddy won't stop can't stop no i try to fall asleep but i can't because my mind
is crazy we're both a little crazy.
So I wake up, I'm exhausted, and then I got to do shows.
I'm just not as witty as I usually am. So what do you do?
I jumped on board with Bioptimizers.
Ever since I started adding magnesium, it broke through.
Magnesium breakthrough Bioptimizers.
Yes, dude.
It's my nightly routine now.
I can't fall asleep without it, dude.
Dude, I don't toss and turn. I'm not waking up groggy it's a real game changer it's nice i wake
up sometimes at 5 30 a.m and i can't go back to sleep until 6 30 a.m it's like an hour and this
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This is Below Deck's Captain Lee.
Listen to my new podcast, Salty, with Captain Lee.
Don't you mean our podcast?
Uh, yeah, I guess I do.
Anyhow, listen to Salty with Captain Lee, co-hosted by my assistant, Sam.
And we will be talking about the latest pop culture news and all the gossip every week.
So does this mean we have to talk by ourselves, about ourselves, or can at least have some guests on?
I don't know.
I find myself pretty interesting.
But yeah, we can have some guests on.
Some of our reality TV friends and some stars.
Works for me.
Listen to Salty now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Did you guys see U2 at the Sphere?
Dude, so me and my brother went to the sphere
it's that's a lie insane no we did you didn't hey when it hold on okay so so you're lying so
no no our uber drove by it okay and it was it's nutso's in person i've seen the outside of it bro
well i've never been inside dude i'm not a youtube fan but here's my idea here's my idea youtube dude
they need to have a fucking UFC event
there. I just saw a tweet
that they were thinking about today.
That would be incredible. It's nuts.
Now, for the advertising, so you know how when you go
right now, it's like the NBA logo.
It's like, welcome to 2023
Summer League.
For a week of advertising, it's
$650,000
to advertise on. It includes all the
engineering, all the graphics. And that includes everything.
It's just so expensive.
Bro, I need to play this venue
and the background
and the thing just played Dave Chappelle's special
while I'm boosting.
This is
just incredible.
If I was there, I'd start crying.
Yeah, I will. Yo, dude yo dude 100 if you're playing that
you too i would too bro i i would too and i'm not i'm not doing this to be funny
immediate tears just i can't i can't feel that much me me neither youtube brings back my childhood
bro yes but also it doesn't matter i wanna run but it doesn't matter though that's terrible you're
a fucking terrible singer but this doesn't matter but when but that doesn't matter. I wanna run. But it doesn't matter though. That's terrible. You're a fucking terrible singer.
I can't sing.
But this doesn't matter.
But that doesn't matter.
That's part of my childhood.
The vastness of it, the absolute beautiful bigness of it, the greatness of it hits me
to my core.
I would start crying.
But then once I started playing.
What song is that? but then once they start playing boner fucking so hard yeah i'm with you so hard dude i saw bono at nobu one time i saw bono at nobu one time what's his name bono might as well call him fucking him no i saw bono at nobu one time and i
didn't know he wears those glasses because he has a bumping and everything all the time i made fun
of his glasses at the table yep and so i was like hey man he shouldn't be wearing he has to it was
11 o'clock at night he should not be wearing he walked by walking in the, that's you too. Yeah, he's like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I made fun of his glasses. Please move in mysterious ways.
Hey.
He bumps his chin.
It's all right.
It's all right.
Dude.
Dude, you remember when they forced us to download their album?
Dude.
The backlash.
It was.
Because you couldn't get it off.
It's fine if you want to do it.
But we had to jerry-rig the iPhone to try and get it off. Well, it's kind of like
with that app that fucking
Zuckerberg made. That's the
copy of Twitter. Threads?
You can't get... I don't want to be on there.
I can't get it off my Instagram.
Oh, that's funny. It's a nightmare, dude.
They say, yeah, if you delete your Threads
account, you delete your Instagram. Oh, really?
How fucked up. Who cares?
Have it. No, it's so stupid. It's different than the fucking it's the exact same it they forced it on me
no it's all right it's all right all right uh is that better yeah but it wasn't good um bono Bono That Mysterious Ways song
Is good
They have two slappers
Boner Cities
But they have a lot of good songs
But also not since that fucking
2005
No when you go to a concert
We're going to play something from our new album
They go oh you mean the new one from 2006
They don't know The Streets The fuck they go oh you mean the new one from 2006 they don't know
the streets that last one that was big was the iphone one that was on the iphone the streets one
man with or without you oh yes with or without you. Dude. Anyway. Still haven't found one.
They got some fucking slappers.
Oh, I heard about this.
Alex Jones get choked.
Jones on Jones here.
Okay.
Lights out.
Take a little snus.
Do you know who Craig Jones is?
No.
He's one of the best jiu-jitsu practitioners on the planet.
Oh, do you have one?
Okay.
Do you know who Alex Jones is?
I'm talking to you. on the planet. Do you know who Alex Jones is? You know it's not good for your brain
doing this stuff, right?
He just passed him out for real?
Apparently he became possessed.
A pitbull.
Pitbull? You mean English Bulldog?
That's a
flat-earth bulldog.
What was I just doing?
I was going to check you out.
I would actually pass out?
Huh?
I did pass out?
Yeah.
I'm talking to someone.
Why does his eyes stay open like a demon?
He comes back and he's like... It's not flat.
Yeah, what's that...
Fuck, I can't think of the school.
Sandy Hook.
Sandy Hook wasn't a lie or whatever.
Did Brendan want to choke out Chris?
No, no.
I would never do that, bro It's not healthy
Tell me why
Because you shut off oxygen to your brain
Your brain needs oxygen, you know
So what's the long-term effect if you get just choked?
No long-term effect
If you do it enough, it's killing brain cells for sure
Because you shut off oxygen to the brain
I could do it to you every day
We could find out Just fucking 2024 in brain cells for sure. Just shut off oxygen to the brain. I could do it to you every day.
We could find out.
Oh!
Just fucking 2024.
So!
Brain damage or even death may happen within minutes
but can sometimes occur
weeks or months later.
Oh, God.
Yeah.
Overall, it's not super healthy.
And Alex Jones
needs all the brain cells.
Wicked smart guy.
So why did that happen
he told him to do it i it's craig jones i mean maybe they maybe it was just awkward and he's like
choke me out they had nothing to talk about after sandy hook and flat earth and he's like
fuck it choke me out that's his show on what, Crowder?
Is it?
Is it called El Segundo?
I think it's Craig's show.
That's what I read somewhere.
Oh, it's Craig Jones' show?
I think so.
This guy's got one.
All right, let's see what's up.
Chris, Brennan, Eric, how you guys doing?
Oh, yeah, Eric's still doing his movie. I have a quick little...
He'll be back next week.
Eric's back next week, yeah.
Question for you guys.
Home projects with
your spouse i recently bought a house and we have now been painting plastering doing the walls
all together it's very tiring and stressful yeah just warning if you guys ever did the same thing
and kind of what your experiences was thank you i don't do that at all but my wife is very crafty
she did the background in my podcast studio.
She did like a lot of shit.
But that shit, I didn't.
When it's like a joint effort and there's a lot going into it,
like I did, I installed my intake on my truck with my father-in-law.
And we just.
I haven't talked to him since.
I killed him.
I rammed his head into the fucking headers.
No, but he's like very safe. And he does everything by the book and I don't.
Yeah.
But then he was like, I think we should use this part.
I'm like, no, it came with these parts, dude.
He's like, yeah, but let's just use this part because it came with the truck.
I'm like, there's a reason it came with these parts.
And so we installed it and then it wouldn't fit.
He's like, I'm going to have to take it all apart and put in their parts.
And I was like, yeah.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
But I was cool. I was cool. You're going to take it And I was like, yeah. Oh, wow. Okay, so. But I was cool. I was cool.
You're going to take it out on your wife, though.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's her fault.
And this is why you see, I see where
it comes down. An apple doesn't fall from the tree.
Is it a fish tank in the back of that fucking car?
Yeah. Oh, a fish tank headrests. Oh, that's not
healthy. For the fish, at least.
For anybody. It's going to be Brennan's truck.
Dude, that's exhibit. Made that or what's that's on uh fucking uh pit my ride um i yeah i don't know about that at all i i don't
i don't do anything like that in the house period i don't do that no i just and when it comes to car
mods you you just pay someone in this right off pussy well You pussy. What? Well, bro, you do that too.
No, no, no, no.
You don't always do it yourself, bro.
This guy fucking got one truck and like turned it up.
No, it depends what it is.
If it's like stuff like pulleys I'm not too familiar with,
the headers, I don't have the right equipment.
I didn't know about pulleys and headers.
But if I can do it, I'll do it.
What, bro?
You're like a real man or what?
Yeah, dude.
Not me, dude.
I just drive off into the sunset, man.
I'm a bitch.
Oh, that's me.
Oh, fuck.
Was there someone in that?
It's from GTA 5, I think.
That's not real?
No.
Incredible, dude.
I said this to me after I get my truck back, though.
Yeah, you did?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, right there.
That's hilarious.
I get it back next week i'm i'm doing a car show like i didn't even know that was fake but i'm not putting like i'm putting real
shit on the cars i'm a boomer dude i'm a boomer i thought that was real yeah the comments are like
dude this is if this is fake it's like no shit oh i didn't know if i saw my phone and it was close
i would know it was fake. But dude, I
just thought that was real. It looks real, right?
It looked real, dude. It was really good. Video games
are good, man. I'm a boomer. Dude, they took
me at Overkill. What's a boomer? How old is
a boomer? 60 now?
It's 50, right? 50 and older? Because people go
like this. You're a boomer. Boomer take.
I call Brian a boomer all the time.
Well, Brian is a boomer.
Boomer's 1955. It's 59 to 68. Okay, so Brian's not a boomer. So time. Well, Brian is a boomer. But. Boomers, 1955, 1959 to 1968.
Okay, so Brian's not a boomer.
So what am I?
We're millennials.
I'm actually, no, I'm a Gen X.
I'm a.
Technically, I'm 80.
Millennial.
I thought I was a millennial.
Dude, I'm Gen Z.
That's cool.
Hell yeah, dude.
You're not Gen Z, bro.
Yeah, I'm Gen Z, dude.
Dude, I'm cool that I'm a fucking Gen X, bro.
Hell yeah.
Dude, think if.
Last year at Gen X, at gen x dude a dying breed
dude generations one's just world war ii holy shit well i'm so boomer because you'll do everything
on my podcast everyone's like boomer take bro and i'm just like man i'm just speaking facts my baby
but if you're yeah but if you're older it's yeah but i'm just speaking you speak facts dude all of
a sudden you're a boomer you turn fucking 40 you're a boomer take. Yeah, but I'm just speaking. You speak facts, dude. All of a sudden, you're a boomer. You turn fucking 40, you're a boomer.
You say some shit, 35, people call you a boomer, dude.
Yeah, I call Brian Boomer all the time.
But when that truck video, like, I know it's from a video game.
Right, right, right.
You did it.
You boomed.
Well, from here, though, I did it.
I know it was fake.
Cars don't move like that.
No, I don't know.
New cars might.
New cars might.
New cars might, man.
Are you going to be mad that when I get my truck back,
it's basically a yacht on land?
Yeah.
I'm going to smoke anything you own?
No, it's just, I don't know, man.
It's all good.
I like the truck.
It's cool.
The color's cool.
It's just, you know.
It's too much.
You know what it is?
You know what it is?
It's not for you.
Yeah.
I like the truck, though, dude.
I just got my wheels buffed out. Because you scrape them all I like the truck, though, dude. I just got my wheels buffed out because-
Because you scrape them all the time?
I don't, dude.
I'm married to a woman, so when she drives, she fucking just parks and just scrapes them all.
That would drive me nuts.
Yeah, we got it back, and then there's a scrape on the bumper.
I go, baby, what the-
She's like, I didn't do that.
I said, well, all right.
So now the conversation's over? Oh, you didn't do it. Yeah, it's over the conversation's over oh you didn't do it oh okay
you didn't do it who did it that's such a great question isn't it no you know you do you know
what you discipline her with get her a honda who did it you know what the worst part about that is
she'd love it she'd eat it up i want to punish her i'm kidding kidding. I don't. I love her. But what the fuck? Dude, if I got her $100, she's like, cool.
She wouldn't even.
Honestly, she wouldn't know.
Dude.
Do it, dude.
Save money and do it.
I know, but I love that Audi, and I want to drive it sometimes, but I don't, though, because
she does.
Yeah, I get it.
Here's the deal, dude.
She.
Dude, the other day, I said this on congratulations, but the other day, a fucking car pulls up.
We took her car to go eat.
The car comes, a car pulls up from the valet.
We're waiting for our car.
A car pulls up.
Not our car.
Just a random car.
A car.
You know when you walk around and there's all these cars around?
Yeah.
Those are all just cars.
She jumps in.
She says, is that our car?
Pro.
Did she get choked out or what?
What's going on there?
Maybe she's been choked out a bunch of times.
Your car is your car.
Is that a car?
Dude, it wasn't.
I would have went, it is.
It wasn't an Audi.
It wasn't an Audi.
It was a different.
Was it the same color?
Black SUV.
And I'm like, the Audi you have is so fucking badass.
It looks ill as fuck. You think that
that is that?
She says, I don't know.
I'd get her a Civic, dude. If she doesn't give a fuck,
do it.
Oh, God, dude. Is this it?
No. It looks way
more bad. That's like my wife, honestly,
what you're doing. Is this it? Yeah.
It's the RSsq8 it
looks mean as fuck it's a it's basically yours oh you can tune those for days you would never do
that though you can tune them for days for what you don't even want to get the windows tinted
but for you well imagine not knowing what car you drive. It must be nice.
Yeah, probably.
Ignorance is bliss.
Probably.
I should get her a Honda, dude.
That's what I'm saying.
Scuffed up the wheels.
What's up?
This guy was at your show in Ottawa.
Oh, yeah.
It's fun.
Hey, Chris.
Hey, Brendan.
Hey, Eric.
It's Chris again from Newfoundland.
I just got back from Ottawa after seeing Chris' show. It's fun. Hey, Chris. Hey, Brendan. Hey, Eric. It's Chris again from Newfoundland. I just got back from Ottawa after seeing Chris' show.
It was unreal.
Done the meet and greet.
Great time.
Great job, Chris.
Thank you.
The only thing, what do you guys think about selling drinks during a comedy show in a stadium?
I had to pee so bad, and I did not want to get up and miss the show.
Oh, that's cool.
Should there be an intermission?
I don't know.
That's a good point.
That was real tough.
Every time I laughed, I thought my bladder was going to erupt.
Pee in the cup.
So what's your guys' thoughts on that?
Pee in the sink.
Hopefully actually see a new flying Chris.
Maybe Brendan and Eric can drop down this way.
It's actually cool.
Okay, so when I did Edmonton, they wanted to do an intermission.
Oh, look at this.
Oh, that's him.
Yeah, I remember.
Sweet.
When I did Edmonton, they wanted to do an intermission.
Wait, before you go on?
Yeah.
That's fine.
It is.
It kind of fucks up the vibe a little bit.
Kind of.
Lulu's great.
She just went back out on stage.
She's the best.
Yeah.
Lulu Gonzalez, look her up.
So she...
The boy's got the fucking nice fit on though, huh, man?
He looks nice.
Are you talking about you?
Me, me.
His fit might beat yours.
How long ago was this show?
It looks like he's aged 10 years.
I guess the hat really helps him.
Yeah, the hat.
But you know who does intermission is Rogan and Chappelle.
Well, that makes sense though.
They bring out like a DJ.
Yeah, that makes sense.
But they wanted to do one, or the show is going to cost me more
because they wanted to make the money on drinks.
So I was like, yeah, just do it before I go out.
But yeah, but I don't think it would matter.
People would still be getting up to piss and all that.
You did that Covina Club?
I'm doing it.
It's great.
I'm doing Covina.
It's October 12th, 13th, 14th.
I'll be in Pittsburgh.
I'll be in Cleveland, Detroit.
And then I also booked to Oxnard, California, December 15th, 16th.
Oh, and now-
At Levity?
Yeah.
I love it.
I love Levity.
And then Trenton.
That's the last time you and I worked together.
Trenton, New Jersey.
Oh, yeah.
Trenton, New Jersey is on sale now.
I'm going to do Trenton, New Jersey.
I just booked it December 1st at the Patriots Theater.
Get your tickets, chrysalia.com. I'm in Iowa next week. Oh New Jersey. I just booked it December 1st at the Patriots Theater. Get your tickets, ChrisDelia.com.
I'm in Iowa next week.
Oh, where are you playing?
Iowa.
Whatever.
Dubuque?
Oh, yeah.
Dubuque.
Dubuque, Iowa.
Wow.
Yeah.
It does mess up the vibe of the show.
I think it's okay.
We had Denny and then Lulu.
By the time they are done, it's 35 minutes into the show.
It's a lot.
And then an intermission, which is, I don't know, however long.
But that's fine because it's not messing up me.
I'm not on stage halfway through like, hey, guys, we've got to do an intermission.
Then did Lulu come back out?
Yes.
While they were all sitting down getting their seats.
Yeah, that's good.
And it was really impressive what she did, man.
I mean, I know, like, she was, you know.
She has to restart. But she was great, great man she would just walk i fucking love seeing that
dude like professional comedians go out and just wrangle a crowd like that yeah she killed that's
why she's there though you know yeah she's great she's so good so so she did that and then i said
just do some minutes and then i went up and fucking yeah i, you know how. There's a mass shooting?
You mowed him down.
The one in Terminator?
Yeah.
No.
Predator.
Yep.
Jesuit or whatever the part.
He dies bad.
Yeah.
Through the heart.
They all die bad, I mean.
But so anyway.
Yeah, true.
Come on, do it. Come on, kill me. Yeah. Come on, do it now. Yeah. Through the heart. They all die bad. I mean, but so anyway. Yeah, true. Come on, do it.
Come on, kill me.
Yeah.
Come on, do it now.
Wow.
Thanks, man.
Yeah, there he is.
There he is.
He's a little batshit crazy now, right?
He like lives in Mexico.
People pretty much just only get crazier, you know?
It's really hard to not get crazy.
I can't wait to get crazy.
Yeah.
I'm at it there.
Yeah. I'm at it there. Yeah.
These guys made a... Our friends at
Tiny's Taco TV made a Chris Taco.
Tiny's Taco.
The Chris-a-dia.
Oh, Chris-a-dia. It's a case
of it. Oh, okay. With skinny jeans.
Is there a new thing we like to call?
Eat it or yeet it.
Mejor del mundo.
These guys are great.
Oh, wow.
Let's get bad.
I like that music.
I was feeling the music.
Well, we can't, right?
Or can we?
Is it Chemical Brothers or some shit?
Probably.
I didn't like watching his beard eat that.
It looks good.
Oh, I'm hungry now.
It's called a Chris-a-dia?
Yeah.
At their actual place?
They have a taco truck.
Oh, cool.
They're great.
We've had them here.
Black Cherry Chipotle Chicken?
I want to try one.
Where can I get it?
We should bring those boys back.
Tiny Taco TV?
Cater an episode?
Yeah, because they did have a Brendan taco.
That's cool.
It was just cheese.
I'm sure it's good, dude.
Those guys look cool.
It looks nice, man.
Black cherry Chipotle chicken.
Oh, your mouth is water
black cherry chipotle um i want to eat that but also so bad it's not gonna be good with my caloric
deficit though if you just eat that for the day that'll be so you ever do that i do that no oh
what do you do all right let's see this uh this whopper with cheese and ketchup only it's around
700 calories it looks like it's a 700-calorie day.
I'll just eat that.
But you can eat more than 700 calories, bro.
Not if you want to look like this.
Bro, I don't.
Oh, I'm sorry, man.
No, wait.
But how many calories do you eat a day?
You probably fucking burn 3,500 calories a day just sedentary.
I probably eat 1,300 calories a day.
Get the fuck out of here. I don't eat until, I haven't eaten,
I won't eat today until when we get done with hair.
So I won't eat until usually about one o'clock.
And usually I just eat one meal and I'm done.
And then what about at night?
I don't eat.
So when we go to Irwan, you see I get no carbs.
I just get the short ribs and like a side of pokey.
Yeah.
That's it all day.
That's it.
What about at night when you're so hungry?
You go to bed?
But bro, how long have you been doing that though?
Four weeks now.
Nah, you'd be dead.
You'd be fucking, you wouldn't be dead.
You'd be emaciated.
No, dude.
So how much weight have you lost?
Eight pounds.
Wow.
Two pounds a week.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Yeah.
So, and do you work out?
Yeah.
Nothing crazy. He doesn't. Yeah, I do. I just, I just came from here. I work makes sense. Yeah. And do you work out? Yeah. Nothing crazy.
He doesn't.
Yeah, I do.
I just came from here.
I'm working out.
What'd you do?
Chest.
Yeah, bro.
I swear to God.
Chest and back.
I swear to God.
Bro, you added back later, right?
No, dude.
Chest.
Chest and back.
Guy fucking lying through his teeth, man.
I swear to God.
All right, all right.
I'm not doing your weird workouts.
I'd titty fuck you. Oh you can't bro i could smash them together it would just be like
you know what i mean oh brendan just fucking giving me chlamydia in my mouth and shit. Dude, I saw...
I saw...
So, Doc, yeah, my co-host
titty-fucked me.
We were talking about caloric deficit.
One thing led to another, and then he just fucking smashes it.
He started titty-fucking and he started smashing his dick
on my chest.
I don't have big tits.
It's just kind of, yeah.
He just kind of rubbed it up against it, huh?
Yeah, it fucking hurt, honestly, too.
I got a rug burn.
So did you see there was a person?
Actually, it was just on my Explorer page.
She, I can't remember.
I can't remember why it happened.
Some kind of medical thing.
She got herpes.
Oh, God.
In her eyes, bro.
Did you know you could get that, right?
She got slimed out in her eyes?
I don't think that she got slimed.
Then how would you get it?
You'd have to get slimed out in your eyeballs.
All right, bro.
You don't need to be so cocksure about that.
It could be something else.
Don't say cocksure when you're talking about slimed out.
So hold on.
She got slimed out?
You think she got slimed out?
100%.
Because that's how you get the herp in the eyes.
She got herp.
Dude.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, okay.
She a freak.
No, this wasn't it, though.
It looked.
Oh, God.
Oh, I feel sick.
I was hungry after the taco thing.
You're welcome.
Not anymore.
That's disgusting.
Dude, what if I came in
and my guy just,
hey guys,
got slimed out.
I'm waiting the results,
but I think I probably
have herpes in my eye.
It's either pink eye
or herpes, man.
Brendan Titty fucked me
and he slimed out my face.
He's starting to act
like he doesn't have herpes,
but my contact is all fucked up now. So, wow, man. Oh, like he doesn't have herpes but my contact is all fucked up now so um
wow man oh god imagine you have herpes in your eyes bro in your i always think i want
that looks at my videographer what's up boys eric brandon chris brandon black dude in the back Chin Nick Nick
You're my favorite
Anyways
Tracks look at them
So we got
It's not really a
Question that is
A part of the show
But like
What is the
Thing that
Your guys girl does
That makes you annoyed
As fuck
Because I got one
Dude
Anytime
My girl
Asks if I've seen a movie
And I tell her I haven't seen it she'll tell you
she explains the entire fucking that's why you just say you see love it or death but holy
shit yeah what a funny thing but that's my go-to have you seen this yep just to say i don't want
the banter yeah oh wow was it good yeah yeah yeah dude It just stops them in the track Oh have you seen Yep
That's funny
I don't
That's all I do
Yep
I don't do that
I just want to stop
The engagement right away
Yep
I say
Babe I know
I hear you
I get it
But you know what mine is?
What?
She takes huge shits?
No
This is
I wish it was that
I don't
Versus this
She doesn't talk loud enough No, this is, I wish it was that. I don't. Versus this.
She doesn't talk loud enough.
Dude, it's the most frustrating thing because in my head, I go like this.
Well, you know what?
Just give up.
She's going to not talk loud enough.'t say what don't hear her but then the other part of me goes like this i might need to know are you hard do you
think you're hard of hearing she thinks i am because i've been around your wife and talked
just fine no bro i think you're hard of hearing here's the thing too i'll tell a two minute long
story and then i'll be it's a full story my daddy go what i'm like that's annoying say what earlier fuck it you know what fuck this
here's another thing what my wife does so walk downstairs she's there
so the other day i was the whole time we had up until now is what you want to say it
yeah i think you're hard of hearing though i've been around your wife she talks pretty normal
dude she i i go she got so mad so here she talks talks, she'll say something like, say she says,
I don't hear it, right?
She'll say,
well,
it's economic.
Right?
I'll say,
did you talk about
and it's noise in bed?
And then she says,
what?
And I say,
now you know how it feels.
Dude,
she got,
she got so mad.
I would do it,
because bro,
she'd be in the other room
Do you know
Like when you talk about
And I
And I would just
Do it back
She wouldn't know
She'd say what
I go gotcha
Dude she would be like
Stop doing that
It really fucking pisses me off
And I go
And now I can't do it
And I still don't know
What she says
I'm still the bad guy dude
My girl has OCD
So
I mean I wanna sit sit down watch our show
she's like i'm just gonna do some laundry real quick and then she's up there for an hour i'm
like it's over we missed the window i mean there's nothing can be out of place like you know you have
two little kids they'll take their shoes off put them you know in the corner nope nope she has the
cleanliness ocd oh big time and i don. Whatever she has, I have the opposite.
I keep it messy.
They say geniuses are messy.
That's what a genius said.
Okay, well.
Look it up.
I don't want to.
I'll just believe you.
And also, you're not a genius.
I know, but it makes me feel good.
Dude, my wife, because I have OCD.
I have bad OCD.
But is your OCD, what form of OCD? Like you have to turn the knob seven times? No, so I have OCD. I have bad OCD. But is your OCD, what form of OCD?
Like you have to turn the knob seven times?
No, so I have OCD.
She said, and my wife says, why don't you, I wish you had the cleanliness one.
I do not have the cleanliness one.
We can't pick.
No, you can't pick, bro.
I know.
You just have the OCD. Tell your wife that.
I can't pick.
I know, but she's joking.
She's like, I wish you had the cleanliness one.
But yours is what kind of autism?
It's not autism.
No, you have autism.
Okay, well, I don't.
Did you meet your wife on Love on the Spectrum?
No, she.
She's just like.
She.
I just have like crazy anxiety and ruminating thoughts.
Yeah, but what kind of...
When your autism kicks in,
is it like you have to...
It is a little bit.
So do you have to shut the door twice
before you walk in?
No, not really, no.
Are you on that level?
I can get there, yeah.
But that's not the stuff.
I wish that it was just that.
It's worse than that.
Do you obsess over dinosaurs?
85% of my day, I'm ruminating over thoughts it's fun it's horrible it's not it's not okay and i'm going to
see a behavioral therapist and i think repetitive thinker dwelling on negative feelings distress to change my meditation.
Yeah, it's absolutely horrible.
The repetitive, it can develop,
worsen existing conditions, depression or anxiety.
It's always something. So you'll dwell on negative feelings?
Oh, yeah.
On any given day, any given different thing, man.
Just horrible shit.
Horrible shit.
It's too bad you can't channel it towards dinosaurs or something.
Oh, man.
Like autism kids.
Hell yeah, dude.
God damn it, dude.
This stegosaurus, bro?
Yeah, this fucking stegosaurus is lit.
God, you ever heard of a fucking...
Yeah, just dinosaurs in your head nonstop.
Raptors.
Yeah, dude.
Raptors next to someone on a plane.
Do you ever think about pterodactyls?
Dude, you know what a triceratops is?
Sorry, FOCD.
Channel it to dinos.
What's up with this guy?
Hey, what's up, Golden Hour crew?
Chris, Brendan, Eric, Nick, Asian guy.
This is Logan from Missouri in the middle of nowhere
that's why you can see the cornfield behind me love it but uh i wanted you guys to check out
have nick show you the trailer there's a new movie coming out called winnie the pooh blood and honey
supposed to be a horror movie you guys are always discussing new chris i definitely watch chris
usually like shitty movies you guys make fun of him for it.
But this is one I think I'm going to have to see.
So I wanted to see where you guys were at on it.
And let me know.
Gang, gang, buzz, buzz, soar.
Woo, woo, woo, woo.
Is Winnie the Pooh a serial killer?
I saw this thumbnail on whatever streaming service it's on,
and I wanted to click on it
and the people with me did not want to watch it.
Let me see it.
I don't know how they got the rights for this, by the way.
They must have just...
You know, you're the first person I ever shown this place to.
Why am I so special?
You soon will be Christopher and Mary Watt.
We should be close now.
We're not going to Robyn. We should be close now.
We're not going to find them.
We will. Pooh, Piglet, Eeyore.
We were friends for many years. And they're out there.
They're stupid.
Christopher, we need to leave.
Eeyore RIP.
I think we need to find out what's happening here, okay?
You're RIP.
I have a feeling this... Oh, dude.
I've got it.
Yeah, me too. I'm in.
Oh.
Winning the poo's not enough.
Big backpacks.
What's up with the big backpacks. What's up with the big backpacks?
What's up with the big tits?
Yeah.
Wow, this is so badly done.
I mean...
It's not supposed to be a real bear, right?
No, man.
It's a guy in a costume.
That's a guy with a...
It's like Halloween.
I don't like that.
I want it to be a real bear that's a killer.
Real Winnie the Pooh.
I don't want it to be a...
Oh!
Please, Steve, why are you doing this?
Please.
I would have never left us in my life.
I just wanted some honey.
That beer doesn't take no shit.
I don't like this because let me tell you why. I don't like that it's basically just a slasher movie with the guy dressed up as Winnie the Pooh.
You want an actual beer.
Dude, they start off the preview where it's like oh this is the
winnie the pooh thing oh eeyore oh but if eeyore is real and winnie the pooh is real it said r.a.p.
eeyore then fucking the the bear should be really you know what you're doing you're looking too much
into it right it's a jumping off point well it's why i won't watch it he's a serial killer clearly
has some childhood trauma with winnie the pooh and just wears the mask and murders bitches.
I know.
Movie over.
I know.
I'll watch it.
I love scary movies. I won't watch the whole thing.
Halloween's my favorite.
But it's not scary, bro.
That's not scary.
Come on.
Did you see that one that we were talking about earlier?
The sit with me or whatever the fuck it is with the hand?
Oh, yeah.
You see it?
Yeah.
Siri?
No?
Rogan posts about it. But he was probably high when he watched it. Had to be. Because I watched it and I'm like, it's with the hand. Oh, yeah. You see it? Yeah. Siri? No.
Rogan posts about it. But he was probably high
when he watched it.
Had to be.
Yeah.
Because I watched it
and I'm like,
it's not that good.
Yeah.
That's it.
Well, all right, cool.
All right, well, that's it.
We'll go to chrislee.com.
Trenton's on sale now.
Trenton, New Jersey.
I'm coming home, baby.
He's a Jersey boy, dude.
And I'm coming home, man.
That's going to be fun.
I'm coming home.
I'm a Jersey boy
and I will be in Covina
and I will be in different places. Go to Pittsburgh. I'll be coming home. I'm a Jersey boy, and I will be in Covina, and I will be in different places.
Go to Pittsburgh.
I'll be in Pittsburgh.
I'll be in Baltimore.
Yeah, but Oxford's in December.
But Chrisley.com.
Go get them tickets.
I'm in Iowa.
I'm in Niagara Falls, New York.
Two shows, Friday, Saturday, first week of November.
Those shows are almost sold out.
That's a casino.
Then I'm in Chicago in December.
That's it for your boy.
It'll be nice and warm.
Yep. Stay tuned for all the truck content Coming out
Love you guys Thank you.