The Golden Hour - Wife Hunt 2022

Episode Date: March 25, 2022

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Dang, baby, this is my boy Baggins right here out of, uh, I think he's out of Buffalo, huh? No, Wisconsin. What's up, Theo? Brendan? Um, I'm just out here, thick boy, eating a snack. You gotta trust a skinny snacker. Hell yeah. Respect. And, uh, when you eat an Oreo, you have to have milk. There's no debate in that.
Starting point is 00:00:20 I debate it. But I can pick down a lot, because I eat mine with a fork. Oh, that's strange. So I got a debate club. When you dip in the milk, you're using fork or fingers. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. Now, can you let a fellow thick boy take this from the
Starting point is 00:00:35 top here? Okay, but he didn't address me, so it's not even for me. He didn't say me. Well, everyone's had an Oreo, because we're American, right? I know, but he said Theo and Brendan. Apparently, I don't matter. That's what i'm saying i'm sorry but that's okay i can't control that i know i apologize go ahead go ahead the first team all state there it's okay uh this way you do with oreos don't eat with a fork you're a fucking serial killer what you do is you take two of them you take the tops off and you take the cream and you put them together so
Starting point is 00:01:01 you get the double stuffed oreo you're a fucking fat fuck. And I also don't like that. You don't like cream? I like cream. There's a lot of cream themed food. I don't like it as much as you guys. Oh, I love cream. You want it filled up in you when you fucking die. I want some on my back that comes with the company.
Starting point is 00:01:16 Okay. I like, I am a huge proponent of the fork. I use forks when people... I use fork with an ice cream. If it's cold enough, I use fork with the ice cream. That's stupid. No, it's not, dude. That's so stupid. Okay, guy. So you're mad. So you're mad because I enjoy something, which you're always getting
Starting point is 00:01:35 mad at me for fucking being negative, and I enjoy using a fork. So I enjoy something, so now I can't even like stuff, right? What's weird? You are an inmate who is not locked up's weird you are an inmate who is not locked up if you are eating ice cream with a fork you are going to hell boy I like using here's what you know what dude I'm gonna eat this stromboli with a piano I'm gonna finish off this soup here
Starting point is 00:02:08 with a photo of my grandparents i like using a fork with when when they give me a brownie a la mode and they give me a fucking spoon i'm supposed to eat the brownie with a spoon now fuck all that i use a fork i get as much brownie as i want. I hate forks. We're the opposite. It's an insane. You're listening to an insane person. You're just like, that's great. No, I'm opposite. I use a spoon for everything.
Starting point is 00:02:33 For everything. Everything. Dude, I like using forks because forks have precision. You can use a fork and delineate what you want. Oh, but you're thinking about it too much, yeah? No, I'm not. Just eat the fucking Oreo. For you it is because you're like, well, it's hard to think about.
Starting point is 00:02:49 For me, it comes in, bam, assess. Like Terminator? Yeah, and I have to use the fork. And then I use it and I eat it and it tastes great because I get the fucking precision. Like proportions? Getting you mean and he does everything right. You haven't met the guy. You haven't met him, Brendan? Bro bro calvin's gonna be so fucked up use a fork god damn it he's eating cheerios that's your ocd i don't know if that is i don't know if that's a obsessive chris disorder
Starting point is 00:03:18 dude and here's chris is actually that great what's up king and the sting crew my name is ali i'm coming to you out of wilmington delaware okay and i have a debate club um blue hands which would you rather have the nastiest little like gross crusty white dog that everyone's grandma has for whatever reason or the chillest cat ever let me know. Love you guys so much. And this question's actually aimed at Brendan mostly because this is my purebred Russian blue buddy. That's Chris. And I actually got him for free
Starting point is 00:03:54 instead of being scammed out of $2,000. Bitch, because he's a spy. Okay? He's a spy. Anyway, Brendan, I will see you in Philly. Oh, I love it. Have a good one, guys. Bring the cat, girl. Also, let me buy your cat. When will see you in Philly Oh I love it Have a good one guys Bring the cat girl
Starting point is 00:04:06 Also let me buy your cat When are you going to Philly? Sometime this year Nice I'm going to Phoenix soon I'll be at phoenixchristley.com So look listen But you know why
Starting point is 00:04:16 So I'm super allergic to cats My son wants a cat really bad Wait hold on Theo Let's listen to this Please Now you know how I feel I have to get a Russian blue cat because I can't have any other cat.
Starting point is 00:04:28 It's a good looking cat right there. They're fucking expensive. She got it for free, man. But also give me the cat. First of all, never pay for a cat. But I can't have just any cat. You could kind of find them. Never pay for a cat, guys, because here's why. Yeah, you can find them.
Starting point is 00:04:43 God makes them for free in the woods near your house. If you're not poor enough, drive near a poor place and get a cat. Knock on any poor person's door and say, hey, I really need a cat. One of their kids will run into the back and bring you a cat. But I can't have a regular cat, dude. I'm allergic to cats. You need a special cat. I either have to have hairless or the Russian blue, and I found the Russian blue.
Starting point is 00:05:06 Man up and tear up a little bit and get a fucking regular cat instead of being such a pussy. Yeah, just get a cat and itch a little. Yeah, you can't have a fucking. No, my eyes swell shut. I'm kicking this thing. Hold on, I'm still going to try. Your eyes swell up. It'll match the rest of you, you fucking Muppet.
Starting point is 00:05:23 Get a cat like a man, you pussy. I don't think men get cats, you know? I'd love to see you with a cat. I want to see how fucking bloated you get. I tried buying one and they said it was Russian blue and I went to make sure it was Russian blue. Playing with it, my eyes, like those
Starting point is 00:05:39 fucking goldfish went poof. Hilarious. It's Russian blue, we swear. Alright, and then you walk in the room and you're like, so let me check the top. I don't think it's the Russian blue. That seemed like a scene from Despicable Me too.

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