The Greatest Generation - Amaretto Cookie (VOY S3E19)

Episode Date: April 4, 2022

When Voyager stops to help with a planet’s armageddon situation, the crew discovers that’s no asteroid, it’s The Etanian Order’s plausible deniability! But when a shuttlecraft rescue mission to the surface ends predictably, a nearby space elevator is the only way back up through the ionosphere. Is 5,000 people a lot of people? Are coal-based hobbies a bad look? Do Neelix and Tuvok not remember they were the same person last season? It’s the episode that really smacks the rock!Exchange scarves for goods at PodShop.bizSupport the production of The Greatest Generation.  Friends of DeSoto for Democracy.Friends of DeSoto for Justice.Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Caretaker!Music by Adam Ragusea & Dark MateriaFollow The Greatest Generation on Twitter, and discuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen!The Greatest Generation is now regularly streaming on Twitch.Facebook group | Subreddit | Discord | WikiSign up for our mailing list!

Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Hey friends of Disodo. Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry. If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join us in standing in solidarity with the folks who actually bring these adventures to life. Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production Studios, have reduced the profit from movies and TV going to workers. And in so doing,

they've attempted to weaken the labor unions that represent those workers. They wouldn't even engage the unions on many issues in their negotiations. And so a strike was the only course of action to take. Adam, Wendy and I have been having a lot of internal discussions about how best to stand with the unions and we are continuing those conversations in a dynamic situation. We're doing our best to understand where the picket lines are in these digital spaces,

and we would never intentionally cross one. With the information we have, we feel like we can do more good talking about and supporting the strike and continuing our show as planned. We'll keep you informed about what all this means for greatest trek specifically. Today we're making a contribution to the Entertainment Community Fund. This fund exists to help all the people whose livelihoods have been put on hold because the AMPTP refuses to negotiate

in good faith with the unions. It provides financial support for writers, actors, and all the thousands of laborers who make the shows that we talk about here and without whom we wouldn't have Star Trek to cast pot about. Those folks are all out of work because billionaires, company shareholders, and the executives of these companies don't want to compromise on the length of their yachts. We hope you'll join us in supporting entertainment workers in a challenging time, especially after they've already endured several years of challenges brought on by the pandemic

and season two of Star Trek Picard. We've set up a page where you can also contribute. It's at friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdececoto for Labor.com. That's FriendsOfDecoto for Labor.com. Link in the episode description. Okay, now let's get on with the show. Here's to the finest crew in Starfleet. Engage! Watch your bad shot. Hello. I'm Captain Captain Bringengwe. The U.S.S. Fortefton Captain Captain Bringengwa the U.S.S. Fortefton Captain Welcome to the greatest generation to Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys just a little bit embarrassed about having a Star Trek podcast

I'm Adam Franica. I'm ready to get wet. I'm Ben Harrison. Oh right I No, right. I gotta say, I expected a double cross out of you. Oh, yeah. I know you've taken great umbrage with me bailing out of our Miriam drinking episodes. Yeah, I don't know what that's about. That for sure, you'd stick me in the tub on my own. I'm not gonna do that to you.

As some form of come up and. I'm a man of my word. All right. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So what kind of man you are? as a some form of come up and I'm a man of my word all right oh yeah yeah so kind of man you are I are you gonna are you ever gonna do your makeup teaky yeah that's the question on a lot of people's minds I'll do it eventually I I mean I was gonna do it today but then my dog peed all over everything. And I'm just in Pistory-Aj for the next year from what I'm told. Yeah.

It's great. Pistory-Aj sounds like a really bad like high school garage band. Oh yeah. Yeah, there's a band out of Seattle called Full Toilet. And just that combination of words is really funny to me. Yeah, yeah, there's a band out of Seattle called full toilet. And just that combination of words is really funny to me. Pistachia just could open for.

Yeah, really good. Adam, I know that this is a special episode, an episode in which we will get wet. We're going to, we're going to record the bulk of this episode from the tub. But we're here in the Marin. We will get wet. We make it so depending on how much we fill the tub. That's true. We're here in the Marin. We will get wet, we make it so. Yeah. Depending on how much we filled the tub. That's true. We're here in the Marin open, and I did a little bit of socializing the other day. No, you didn't.

You did? But yeah. I'm a little rusty with the socialization. Rusty socializing pipes. And I did, I had a bad bit moment. I thought I'd tell you about All I do is bits bits bits no matter what you're always doing bits bits You're always doing bits bits bits. I was doing bits bad bit moment bad bit moment

You know what Bennett sure does feel like the more socializing we do, the more bad bit moments seem to happen. It's true. True. So I think you were watching the Super Bowl while this was happening. I was watching not the Super Bowl. I was watching my friends consume Greek food. We went out to a Greek restaurant.

I was telling my wife that because you texted me during the Super Bowl to ask how my bets were going. Yeah. That was very considerate. And I was like, hey, things are working out great. Pretty exciting game, isn't it? And you were like, I wouldn't know. I'm out at dinner. And I started laughing. My wife asked me why I was laughing. And I just said, I just got the perfect message from Ben. The most Ben message from Ben I've ever gotten is what I just read. I had figured that the Los Angeles Rams had won the Super Bowl

because I was in an outdoor eating environment in Los Angeles. And I heard the whole city go crazy all at once. Yeah. And so, you know, who's obvious to me what had happened? So the bets went well, everything paid out good, right? Oh yeah, I won every side, every side of every bet. That's great. Which is a rarity.

I'm so happy for you. I'm happy too. It's rare that you win the main and the hedge, but I want them all. That's, that's, that's, that's. That's awesome. My bad bit moment happened when we were talking at the couple that we were out to dinner with had their honeymoon in Greece.

So we were eating Greek food and they told us a little bit about their trip to Greece. And were they pronouncing all the foods, especially Greek in front of you? No, they were being pretty cool about it, but please pass me the hummus. They told us about going to an island named Spestus and I stopped the conversation so I could say And I stopped the conversation so I could say, now if you develop symptoms, you can get in on a class action lawsuit for Greco-Thelioema. Wow.

All I do is bits, bits, bits. That is just like base hit of a joke right there. Right through the hole. Bit of a long walk, but of the three people that I was eating with zero of them got it Shit man, I'm so sorry and I had to go back for both asbestos and mesothelioma You had to turn the whole dinner table around to go pick those up this joke exploded on the launch pad And it was such a catastrophe that I had to explain what I was even saying because it didn't even seem like a joke to them.

No, yeah, no. I think part of the problem was that they had been talking about, there's some hostility among Greeks toward European tourists lately because of how much the Eurozone fucked Greece over in the financial crisis of 2008. There's a lot of like get back energy and that can splash over onto American tourists, which probably Americans deserve for other reasons, but I can't like think of anything specific. Nor could you think of a funny bit for that. Yeah, exactly. So, I think like part of it was that they were in the headspace of like, oh yeah, there's some like, some like fraud and malfeasance going on and grease occasionally.

So the like lawsuit thing kind of sent them down the wrong rabbit hole of thinking about my bit. Yeah, everyone's so preoccupied with having a very serious Greek dinner, talking about serious Greek politics. Ben, this is why we're so insufferable when we're together on the rare occasions because all we're doing is hammering bits back and forth for the entire hang. And it's alienating everyone around us, our loved ones and our friends who are excited to hang out. But this is like, this is why. The situation you're describing is why, because if I were there,

eating Greek food with you instead of counting money from supervole bets. I thought you're never supposed to count your money when you're sitting at the table. I would have laughed my ass out. I know I'm not a frequent laugher at your bits, but I think in real life you could count on me in that situation. People at the table would have been delighted. Yeah, that's not something that's gonna raise the eye of a neighboring table,

wanting us to keep it down. That's the sort of laugh you want in a restaurant. Yeah, yeah. All of the neighboring tables were having a great time. There was lots of wine flowing. It was a great night. I had a great time. There was lots of wine flowing, it was a great night. I had a great night. It was one bad bit moment,

and in an otherwise delightful evening out. Yeah, but what do you think about at the end? What are you preoccupied? I've been thinking about it ever since, because I'm like, I think mesothelioma may be a deep cut, but asbestos is not. Like, everybody knows there's those bestos lawsuits. What they may not know specifically

is that those are misotheliuma as bestos lawsuits. In Greece, is it spelled this ever happened to you? But yeah, like, it was just such a fucking capital F failure. I just, I walked out of that restaurant in shame. In shame. Pretty good Greek food though. Yeah, solid. Nice.

Really good, actually. Yeah, we got to go there sometime. There's this place and it's in Los Angeles institution. It's called Papa Crestos. Hey, and I like an institution. They got great chow and it's like one of those LA restaurants that like is as it always has been, you know. Yeah, like that a lot. Yeah. I like the way it always has been. Yeah. Instead of the way it is. Mm-hmm. The way it is often a bummer. Yeah. Remember the way it used to be? A thing that has stood the test of time, sometimes very fun. Just can't even imagine what things are gonna be. Yeah. Don't want to think about that. Well, I think in about 30 seconds relative to the time of people listening to this, it's gonna be wet.

Wow. Do you wanna get into some tubs and get into the episode, Adam? Sure do. Could really go for some soothin' of my bones. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha a little more comfortable and get into the tub. Yeah, let's do it, man. See you over there, man. Okay. For Star Trek Voyager, season three episode 19, rise! Lord Vader, rise! I know you don't want to do it. Coffee, black, make it yourself.

And I know you see this as an opportunity to grow. Make it yourself. Well, and the stupidest idea for not just a Star Trek podcast, but a podcast of any kind. Yeah. Returns for another engagement. I don't know why we have this on the board, but we have it on the board, so we have to do it sometimes. This isn't just the dumbest thing that a podcast could do. This is like any, any media in all media. I think this is the dumbest idea there is. I know. I know. Why do people listen to this? Could they stop? Maybe we could, maybe we could do a let's drink about it style.

What's in your tub? Oh, I'm simple, man. It's just Epsom Salt's in water for me. Really? I'm smelling like an Amorado cookie because I've got a foaming bath with Epsom Salt, but also all mendoil. Wow. You really do it right over there.

Is that, yeah. Are you the primary procure of fancy bath products in your house, or does your wife do that? No, I mean, this is my wife's bubble bath. Nice. That's what I'm rolling with right now. It's delicious. Tell her I said hello.

I bought some fancy bath salts with, you know, I don't know, some kind of herbal, maybe like a Roma therapeutic properties claimed on the package when I was up in the Russian river over the holidays. And I did not find them when I was scrambling to also set up my microphone and crap in here. So this is so dumb. Yeah, it's dumb, it's dumb. when I was scrambling to also set up my microphone and crap in here. So.

This is so dumb. Yeah, it's dumb. It's dumb. Once again, we risk death with a bunch of electronic equipment next to our toes. Something uniquely humiliating about Wendy telling us not to electrocute ourselves when she heard that this was happening today.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, well, Wendy doesn't know that she's both of our power of attorney now. Yeah. Yeah. That's going to really come as a shock to our spouses. Right. Well, Adam, this episode starts with an Armageddon style

asteroid heading for a planet, and Voyager sparing one of their precious, precious torpedoes to try and bullseye this thing. Fire. Fire. You could fire every new cube, you've got to learn to just smile at you and keep on coming.

Yeah, why would you use a torpedo if you didn't have to? Feels a little flashy to me. What about the tractor beam, you know? Great idea. We've seen the tractor beam used to move asteroids into different orbital pathways. Why not use one of their many disposable shuttle crafts? Why one of those into it?

Yeah, just vehicle replicated replacement, the second it goes. You tell me they don't have an extra Subaru Brat-style shuttle flying to that thing? Of course they do. Those things are a dime a dozen and the Voyagers shuttle back. Inexpensive and built to stay that way.

Just how am I saying your money, Buster? There's a lot of dialogue less, watch the asteroid go boom, kind of footage here, that's fun. Yeah, this episode really begins the way best of both worlds. That's fun. Yeah. This episode really begins the way best of both worlds part two begins Like all this just though we're picking up where we left off last time and and that kind of suffuses the episode We don't know much about these people

We don't even know what their people are called for most of the episode We don't know why the void is taking a unique interest in helping them It's just kind of a story that we had dropped into immediate apocalypse. You really stole my thunder there, Ben, because I was going to during review time compare this episode favorably to best of both worlds. These aliens on the bridge look like parts bin cardacians, like they took a little bit of the prosthetic makeup from them, but none of the costume choices are shared. They've got kind of like hockey jersey style shirts, big in the shoulders, big in the

chast area. I'm a real strong skater though. You need the best puck handle reader. the shoulders big in the chast area. I'm a real strong skater though. Eat the best puc-hand reader. They've all got the vibe of disappointed neighbors brought over to watch Dad Light-Up fireworks because the big boom they were expecting, they didn't get it all.

Yeah, the torpedo didn't work. It was based on the composition of this asteroid. It should have worked. This should have been fine. Yeah, not only that, like all the little bits of shrapnel that they've created are too numerous for two-vac to get. So this planet's about to get bombarded. Yeah. It's fortunate because the two big chunks go down in a relatively unpopulated area, but pretty soon there's another asteroid coming along. It just seems like this planet is an interstellar firing range, and this one is predicted to hit a big population center.

Yeah, but in a way that holding back the facts can sometimes make things feel more dangerous. I kind of wish they didn't tell us the population of the population centers. Because one of these guys is like, I don't know which one says it, but he's like, you know, this town has almost 5,000 people in it. And I wish I didn't know that. That's not a lot of people. Well, you're coming that this from a context of COVID-America where we've decided that a million people are acceptable losses in a disaster scenario. Yeah, it totally changed my way of thinking. You have become Mr. Warf.

Now I'm like, why waste a torpedo to save 5,000? So the ambassador guy, the older of the two members of the alien race up on the bridge has an assistant named Sklar. What did you think of Sklar? I kind of felt like the actor hadn't wrapped his mind around the role. Like especially here on the bridge, it just kind of felt like he was delivering his lines like a kid in a school play. There are at least 12 more asteroids heading in our direction. How can we hope to destroy them all, even with your help? I think one thing that really hamstrung

these characters was that they're prosthetic. They're prosthetic. I'm trying to see the plural of prosthetics, prostheses. That's how it's said. And if you find like an animal that can use one that's designed for a human, you would call that a cross-species prostheses. Yes, you definitely would. You wouldn't call it anything else. What I'm getting at is that they all have kind of

resting chromagnon face. And I think that unfortunately makes this race of people look dumb. Yeah, maybe that's what it was. I don't know. I just kept expecting this guy to say that he grew some radishes and weird dirt and they came up all weird.

Yeah, I didn't find like specifically lacking about the acting. I think it was just like a challenge because of how they were made to look. Yeah. They get a facetime from a guy down on the surface who is very frantic to tell them that these asteroids are not exactly as they seem. They're composed out of synthetic materials. Where do you get all these synthetic materials, Ben, to just shoot at a planet? I was thinking maybe my grubber, maybe their household materials. It really seems like a starship trooper situation, huh? It does, yeah.

With the winging of weaponized asteroids, it thinks. Yeah, absolutely. It's, uh, it it's it's how the bugs do it. So, yeah. So why not what is one of the things when to be called the Otenians? The Otenians? Oh, the the Chromeags. No, the other guys, the guys that we only see one of for like a five second moment, the guys that are actually doing one of for like a five second moment, the guys that are actually doing all this bad stuff. Oh, yeah, those guys. The Italian order.

I don't have that absurd in front of me because I'm in a bathtub right now. Let's go with that. This is a major cause for concern because Dr. Vatum is the guy raising the alarm, right? I'm the most prominent astrophysicist. This is not a naturally occurring thing. And Dr. Vatum is the guy with this information, and that suddenly makes him a very important person to save because they can't save all 5,000 or however many, or any of the five digit amount of population that they have on this planet.

They only have enough resources to save the one guy. If this was the enterprise D, we'd be fine, but this is not, so therefore, we're just gonna... I wish this entire episode was about, instead of what it was about, going down to get Dr. Vatham, and then seeing how that goes over with the rest of the 4,999 people he's with. Hey, so we just brought one shuttle, so...

Hey, if there are like a couple more of you that really want to come. As you can see, it looks like a Subaru brat. Run on wheels. Yes, in straight. You ain't worth the U.S.S. You're worth the U.S. You're worth the U.S. You're worth the U.S.S. No, the U.S. No, the U.S. No, the U.S. No, the U.S. No, the U.S.

No, the U.S. Nielix is on the away mission with TuVac, and he goes down to Six Bay to get some hypospraise. He's just going to bring some extra hypospraise. He's really trying to go above and beyond to get in good with TuVac, who he's always nervous around because TuVac is so judgmental. No matter what I do, I can't seem to please him. It also looks like he's trying to get close

to his ex-girlfriend by wearing an article of reclothing that she may be left behind. He's really in his home. The cat suit fashion statement has really started to spread on Voyager, hasn't it? Try to restrain your enthusiasm. Yeah, very slimming. Yeah.

It's like, talaxian spanks. I suggest everyone try to remain calm. He's got a corduroy katsuit, which is very popular in like the northeast of talax. Oh yeah. You know. Yeah, very nice. Nice and warm. Kozzi in the winter.

I've never seen so much corduroy in one place. The duck is like, hey, a little word of advice. Don't overdo it on the radio, you're in a way mission. I didn't go over well for me. Just take it from me, a guy who has been on an away mission. That sucks. They urge him to calm down.

May I suggest a tranquilizer? And he heads to get aboard the shuttle with Tuvac and Sklar. And that's just your classic shuttle crash. You know, second you fly a shuttle into an atmosphere. Chances are good that the atmosphere is gonna be more than a match for that shuttle. We'll be landing shortly, try to relax.

Yeah, and they lose it. It's totaled. They lost another one. Yeah, I mean, a super breath resale value is not that high. So, like, it's pretty unlikely that the insurance company is going to pay you something. I mean, there's an enthusiast market for a great example, but this is not it. Right, right, yeah. It's one of those in bad shape.

They also, when they crash, like, they meet Dr. Vatum and his buddy who's like a minor from a nearby mining colony almost immediately. And Dr. Vatum is not willing to tell them anything about the composition of the asteroid. He knew that it was not the asteroid. It seemed to be based on scans, but the composition is classified. This sure made you suspect Dr. Vatum from jump, right? It did. Yeah. He just seems like a jerk, you know. You know what? I could never marry into this scientist's family, huh? Oh. Because then... I didn't have Adam.

Yeah, like if I took her last name. Yeah. Right. It'd be Adam Vatum. That would be bad. I wouldn't like that at all. Mm-hmm. Yeah. People would have an easier time spelling my last name when I say it over the phone though. Mm-hmm. That'd be better. I Just reacted to this scene when you know two Vox trying to get the information out of him and I was like two Vox and Vatum are fighting again Yeah, they're shuttles so fucked up, they can't fly it. So they're only

chances to like get the communication system going again. So they can get rescued. Yeah. So Neil X gets sent out to do a damage assessment. He wants to suggest that he could be more proactive than that. To act shoots him down. But when he goes outside, he spots something off in the distance, a very late 90s CG rendering. Oh, wow. Oh, wow.

Hey, you guys remember Matt paintings? Ha, ha, ha. Remember how they didn't look like shit? Ha, ha, ha. Is this a space elevator? This is a space elevator. I was very excited to see this. You know all about these.

I do. I have a long suffering documentary about a space elevator researcher that one day I will finish. Yeah. I'm hoping to finish it this year, actually, but you know, I've said that many years in a row. Great. I'm excited to see it. I'm in it. I'm a big part of it, as I recall.

Yeah, you helped shoot parts of it. Yeah. And almost got arrested at the Canadian border with me in service of this documentary. I know. It would have been worth it too. Yeah, it would have been. So Nielik's very thirsty for two-vox approval to impress two-vux. So he is back in the shuttle with a quickness, enthusiastically talking up the idea of, we can get off this, you know, that the shuttle is no good to us, but we can get off the surface with the use of this space elevator.

It's a magnetically powered car that will just travel up this tether up into space. And Squares like, no, dude, that's never gonna work. It takes like a day to get all the way up to the top. And- Nielix is like, maglev, I know this system. It's like, we don't even need to get to the top baby. We just need to get past the ionosphere.

So the, the transporters will work. Why do you think we did this shuttle mission? Normally, we would just use the transporters. Nielix is the sort of tri-hard that just won't let it go. He's got ideas. He makes the case that he could be really useful in a situation like this. And it is convincing to everyone besides Tuvac. He's like, look at my resume, Tuvac.

I've got two years of space elevator experience. Yeah, but he doesn't years of space elevator experience. Yeah, but he doesn't have a space elevator diploma. Right. So. Well, he has one from a non-accredited space elevator academy. Right. And you know, it might just be like one of those things you print out off the internet and say,

ugh, a little bit sus. Yeah, I mean, how much is a space elevator diploma from University of Phoenix really worth? Betsy DeVos would argue quite a bit Yeah, to university of Phoenix This is a plan without a lot of downside, right? Because if it doesn't work They can always just come back and wait for rescue. So they might as well bang on this thing with their wrenches very well. Yeah, so they know that it's like probably we're going to need some fixing up

and they take some equipment with them, but they they head over there and they walk into the elevator control room, which just is like the perfect vintage startrecks at like a big glowing half-dome with a bunch of lights and beeps and boops on it, bunch of pipes and valves and computer screens everywhere. It is like the establishing shot of a Macroober sketch too. Space elevator control room sign right on the outside. The space elevator is going to crash on us in 20 seconds, Macroober. Yeah, you too, Vicki.

Yeah, except they've got a problem because a squatter has taken Neelix hostage. Yeah, this lady has a very clinging-on-looking knife, but as you said, very like aftermarket Cardassian looking low. Yeah. And she's got it at Neelix's neck. She assumes that this group of men have come in there to steal her rations. Don't expect me to share. Like the asteroids falling on this planet have kind of reverted everything into a post-apocalyptic energy.

And did you get a good sense of the timeline here because it seemed like her desperation was pretty premature. Like I thought these asteroids just started falling, but she's got a level of desperation that suggests that she's been like hoarding food and sticking people up for a year. I feel like later in the episode, it is elucidated that this has been going on

for quite a while, but. I think you gotta make that clear. Yeah, yeah. I'm reading a book called The Fifth Season right now. It's a fantasy novel set in like a post-apocalyptic future where there's earthquakes all the time. And so like, most humans settlements are just like focused all the time on preparing for the next catastrophic volcano eruption that will block out the sun for several years or whatever. Don't get greedy, Ben. Like, after moving to LA, I think you should be satisfied

with two seasons, not five. I know. It's a real fantasy novel, if ever there was one. The fifth season is Umami, right? Umami flavor. She's able to be talked out of this hostility. She's actually excited about the idea of getting the elevator working as well. She's got some technical know-how, but not elevator specific.

That's going to fall to Newyx. And so the project begins. Let's start making life-saving inventions out of household materials. You can tell this person is desperate because she's desperate enough to believe what Nelix tells her and go along with this weird mission that she's just now hearing about. Yeah, I mean, she is in dire straits, but Nelix does not really present himself as a threatening figure, and I feel like maybe even if the other dudes do, if they're rolling with a dude like Nelix, maybe they're not so bad. This is a good Nelix episode and I think this is really where that feeling starts.

Like he is very persuasive with this person in a way that feels sincere and good. Objection noted, we'll do this without you. Do it. Do it. Objection noted, we'll do this without you. Do it. Do it, do it. Objection noted, we'll do this without you, do it. Do it, do it. Do it. Up on Voyager, BLT and Chico De have a sample of one of the rocks that hit early in the

episode that they've beamed up and they're going to do some science on, see if they can figure it out. And... Why are they doing this here? I mean, they have a perfectly good warp core they could be splitting an alien rock next Do some science on see if they can figure it out and uh why are they doing this here? I mean they have a perfectly good warp core they could be splitting an alien rock next to Yeah, it seems uh unnecessarily safe I mean maybe it's because chicote has that rock hammer which uh yeah Like you don't see a lot of hammers in Star Trek and uh it's really stood out to me

hammers and Star Trek and it's really stood out to me. Sounds great. He is kind of gingerly chipping around the outside of it and they open it up like a geod and it's full of gadgetry. Yeah, it's got a guidance system. Asteroids aren't supposed to have those. We wasted a torpedo on this. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Huge bummer all around. Yeah. Back down on the elevator, they're getting everything put back together. Niela goes to help this lady, Lillius, with the oxygen equipment. So they need to fix like the maglev controls and also basically the life support.

And I don't know if you agree with this, but the oxygen equipment looked a lot to me like the kind of thing you don't just throw away from deep space nine Yeah, that's a great call. They looked very federation equipment. He really did I was distracted by how good Nielix seems to be at all this stuff when we know he spends every spare minute bartending on the holiday. Yeah. But don't worry, I've got everything we need to control.

He's like a real Benjamin R. Harrison having time to read books. I just don't understand it. I read in bed at night. That's nice. It was a way of winding down. That's when I should be doing it. It's good.

It's a nice way to do it. I said reading is good. They have a ticking clock here. Like the next asteroid is coming. They need to get off the service and on to Voyager before that happens. And I thought it was pretty surprising that amid all this hurried Nielix

stops to like sit down and like put a, one of his elbows on his knee and like reminisce about his deceased sister from back in the day with Lilia. He was killed when I was a young man. He was like, we should name the elevator. You know, go up in style with an elevator car that has a name. I really wanted Lilia's to be like, let's not name it and let's definitely not name it

after your sister and let's fix it and get the fuck off the plan Nielix is like I've been watching a lot of Star Trek Discovery lately and I have found that people tend to bond over their shared trauma I think this might work for us. No matter how emergent the situation might seem there's always time to sit there and trade grief Yeah kind of a weird tone to this scene. Sure. As I was thinking this two-box starts barking at me, looks like stop waste. See time. Get back to fixing shit. This is not the holodeck, nor the mess hall. This is a life-threatening situation. It was like cool, two-box on my side.

I will say though that the way he describes like thinking of all of his dead family members every night and then sharing a part of his day with them was a really sweet thing that he described. Like I really found that touching. I did too. I've been finding like the passage of time lately for me has and for a lot of people has been like really difficult to grasp and less so as the days go on. And I've been thinking about like how I can organize my thoughts in a way that make

the days meaningful, like, and memorable, I guess, because I'm having a hard time even remembering what I'm doing with my days because they're so similar. And this idea that Nelix is describing is inspirational to me somehow. I don't know what I'm going to do with it, but just the idea of noting a thing about your day as shareable, I thought was pretty nice. It's really sweet, Adam. I'm glad you're thinking about these things. Yeah. I mean, I don't know who I'd share those thoughts with. That's pretty much the first step for me is finding someone to dump on. Maybe you could either get a therapist

or get into journaling, you know? Whatever feels like a better option to you. I'll tell you which one is more likely. So they're a board that down Easter, Alexia, now, from here on out. And as they're working on getting their repairs done, suddenly Dr. Vottim like slams the door behind him, hops on the elevator and is setting it for takeoff. And everybody's freaking out because they're going to be abandoned on the surface.

There's only one car. There's not like a second shaft in this building. I have to share with you something from my notes about this scene, which is right before this moment, I paused the app to take a break of some kind. And when I came back and hit play again, it started this scene, but also played the audio superimposed onto it from the theme to the show. And it was so stupid and bizarre and I couldn't get it to stop without full-on backing out of the Paramount app. Resetting the Apple TV and starting it all over again. It was a new version of the shitty behavior we've gotten from this app from the beginning.

Wow. I really hold my beer. You thought you'd seen the last of me moment from the Paramount Plus app. Yeah. It keeps topping itself. It's great stuff. And like, this is one of the most exciting parts of the episode and it was ruined. Yeah, you ruined it.

Yeah. So, Dr. Vatum trying to abandon them, but they managed to rock has like one of those door code solver gadgets. He gets the door open, Vulcan neck pinches Vatum, and the launch sequence has already kind of passed the point where they can abort it. So they have to go, but it means that the repairs weren't all the way complete on the way up. So Neelix is like, oh man, this is going to suck. I'm going to have to, like, we don't have cruise control. We're really

going to have to baby this thing the entire time. And it's like, it's really shaky. Like, the ride is not smooth. The suspension is tuned really tight. Yeah, they set the space elevator for sport mode. Yeah instead of comfort a race elevator But like we're just we're civilians, you know We don't keep this Hey, Ben, do you know what the shortest poem ever written is? Oh, what's that Adam? please that him had him

That I'm had them When I was growing up people used to throw that at me like hey Adam do you know what the shortest poem ever written is please Adam had them Wow, I think it's a shell silver stain poem Beautiful. Yeah, hmm Isn't it? I think we're gonna say space elevator never worn for sale. Yeah. So Nielix has some ideas about how to smooth out this ride. Don't none of them know how good I drive. And they do. Yeah. They let some air out of the tires a little bit. Yeah, and they speed up, like counterintuitively speeding up.

He says how much bumpiness there is in the ride. It comes to light, like as they're working this stuff out, that Nielix is kind of like, kind of padded his resume. He did not, in fact, work on space elevators. He was a nerdy kid who built space elevator models. One 10 scale, but they were extremely detailed. This is much more like a dad getting to go on a ride in a train that he's interested in than somebody who is like actually competent to take them on this dangerous journey. You built models. That is a comparison so specific, it has to be grounded in reality.

What did your dad do? What did he do? I was actually picturing that character from the sopranos that has like the really intense H.O. gauge train set in his garage. Oh yeah. Oh, you got a little choo choo train at home, huh? If you had the job of like actually operating a locomotive, you know. I had a friend in elementary school whose dad, he was a ship designer. He designed ocean-going ships for shipping companies. Like the Captain Phillips style ships? Right. But his hobby was building actual coal-fired steam trains at like 164th scale or something.

He made little train engines. The kind that Heal-Hauser went and rode. train at like, you know, like one sixty-fourth scale or something. Like he made like little train engines. The kind that heal house or went and rode. This is the real thing, isn't it? It's just smaller scale. A lot smaller scale. Yeah. Like he would like weld the piping and everything, like pressurized steam systems that actually caused local motion. It was like the craziest shit you ever saw. And this was not something he was like interested in sharing with elementary school kids, but I can only imagine that, like that dad would know what he was doing

if he was on the control room of a real train, I think. That guy, very unpopular to have cold-based hobbies. Yeah, I mean, that kid sucked, in retrospect. Their whole family sucked. Wow. Wow. Wow. Just because of their preferred energy source band, that's pretty judgmental.

Mm-hmm. And his mom was super mean to me. Oh, well, that's a better reason. Ha-ha. Ha-ha. Right, got to pick it. That's not gonna get that old, better judgment. Yeah.

I've got to pick it. A greatest gen live show is something you don't want to miss. Why? Well, it's a great opportunity to see me and Ben in person, but that's not all. FODs from all over gather at these shows to cosplay, to do pre and post-show hangs, to make friends, and share their embarrassment. Hey, let's make a pretty great name for a tour. Let's do it.

The Share Your Embarrassment Tour is coming in August 2023. We've got a bunch of dates in a lot of great places. Go to greatestgentour.com to get more info. That's greatestgentour.com for dates and ticketing information for the Share Your Embarrassment Tour. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Jesse Thorne. On Jordan Jesse Go, we make pure, delightful nonsense. We were open awesome guests, and bring them down to our level.

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Come get stupider with us at MaximumFun.org. Look, your podcast apps already open, just pull it out. Give Jordan Jesse Goatry. Being smart is hard. Be dumb instead. Whoa, rats, hey, hey, oh, I'm about to count you in line. These clouds are really freaking me out. I hate having to stand in line and boy

These giraffes do not smell good. No, they do not and they've such short neck But I'm here and we need to get on this side. So gotta get on the art. Yeah, it's about terrain. Got us about to destroy humanity Hey, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Are you Noah? Yeah, I know we look like humans. Oh, we're actually we're podcasters We are podcasters, so it's different. Have you heard of Ono Ross and Carrie? We investigate spirituality, claims of the paranormal, stuff like that. And you have a boat and say the world's gonna end, so seem like something for us to check out. We would love to be on the boats.

We came to by two. What do you think? Ono Ross and Carrie, available on MaximumFun.org. I think it's that luck would not be selling a highest gold. Lilius is really giving the business to Dr. Vatum here. And the other dude wants to throw him out of the airlock as much as anyone, like everyone's against Dr. Vatum at this point. Dr. Vatum has not really done things to make friends and influence people. Yeah, and threatening Tuvac being maybe the biggest reason you can't do that.

No, that's not good. But Tuvac has that energy of like the terminator walking into that motorcycle bar. He is not putting up with this guy shit at all. Like, he wants Dr. Vatum to find out. He would like to see Dr. Vatam pursue a fucking around-based strategy. I will need your full cooperation. And you'll move the cycle. Take it!

They find out that the next asteroid is coming and it's a planet killer and it's two hours away up on the Voyager. This news comes in as they get reports from Lieutenant Paris that he has not been able to turn up the shuttle anywhere. Scratch was so bad that uneven the emergency beacons are working. This is the late 90s. I mean, have we thought about rustling up any deep core trailers for a mission like this? Be me up, Scotty. I did think about that. Yeah, like a real leather neck that

knows how to get it done. I assume you sent for me because somebody told you I was the best. Uh-huh. Somebody that could be persuasive in a context where they're suggesting you'll train the astronauts and the astronauts, I'll go up and do it. Saying like, maybe the astronauts will train us and we'll go up and do it. Yeah. Hey, just checking in on the tub times over there, Ben. Both of my legs have fallen asleep due to the position of sitting in. You got to move around, buddy. Yeah, I need to move around a little better.

I'm looking for to give myself a little more hot water. I'm now laying off to the side. Oh, this was a disaster. This water is coming in. Koo'd. K water is coming in crude. Cood on the hood. I got to stop. That's not going to heat up anytime soon. I have one of those old houses where the water just takes forever and ever to get hot. You got to get a rich tree through you over there. I do. It's such a right up. Yeah. I just got a meeting with a contractor about a more instantaneous water heating solution.

So it sucks. I live in California. I feel terrible running the shower for a while to get it warm enough to stand in, you know? Yeah, I'm sure your deal is the same as mine where I got to run it for a long time to get hot and then when I do get hot, it is illegally hot. It should not be allowed to have water this hot in the house. It should be melting my pipes. You should sue McDonald's. It's so hot. Right. Yeah, all I ever do is shoot sink water into my lap too. Yeah, yeah. Speaking of hot atom, the elevator getting very sweaty. They're suffering from hypoxia because they weren't able to get all the life support stuff

up at full blast. Tuvac is going around giving everybody triax compound, which I think is what Nelix was throwing into his backpack on his way off the ship, right? Hey, wait a plan ahead, Nelix. Yeah, nice work. Tuvac's lungs don't feel the same way. He's used to a low air environment, which I mean, if you practiced enough with a belt and a door knob, I guess you would be. Yeah. I am not the kind of fool that David Caradine was.

You'll never see my name listed alongside Michael Hutchins. Dr. Madame Andrew again says does is very eager to get onto the roof of the elevator car. It seems like he is just going totally unhinged. And so they have to try and stop him, but he dies pretty quickly. Yeah, and two bucks as he didn't die from oxygen deprivation, he died of murder. It's a leading cause of death on the show lately. So many away missions have led to murder.

He was drinking anti-freeze water, like a cat sneaking into a garage and poisoning itself on accident. They like it because it tastes sweet to them. This is good news for everyone in the car, right? Because it's one less breather. We could use the extra oxygen. Right. Yeah. And plus Dr. Vatum was kind of a dick. Dr. Vatum was no fun to be around. And he was really hoovering up the breathable air. So everybody breeds a sigh of relief. But Nelix really wants to go outside and see if there's Gremlin on the roof that Vatum was talking about, is anything to worry about. I've got a funny feeling about this. I'm not interested in your

funny feeling. And we get a little confrontation between Tuvac and Nielix again. A confrontation that as his routine now ignores the weird history between these two men. And also ignores their disparate skill sets because like, Nielix is like, this car ain't going anywhere until someone checks out the roof. And two Vox, like, well, I have absolutely zero skills in car piloting. So I guess we got to do what you say. Why is two Vox even on this mission? I kind of felt like two Vox had like started to make peace with death after this confrontation when he agrees to go up on the mission. I kind of felt like Tuvac had like started to make peace with death after this confrontation when he agrees to go up on the roof. Like he seems like okay well nothing I say is going to convince Neelix and he is like such a linchpin to us surviving this at all that I just

have to do everything he says and I might as well not get upset about that because I'm a Vulcan and I really try to avoid getting upset. Plus if if he succeeds in his role, like I couldn't live with that. So he's looking for a way out if that would happen too. So having resigned himself to his fate, Dubock goes up to the roof of the elevator, which has a guardrail, but a guardrail that would not pass code. It is way too low. Yeah, you gotta get that thing up.

Yeah, so. Got a loose nul post up there. Yeah. That's a safety hazard. He's up there and then Sqar starts to head up after him. Has to kick Nielix in the chest because Nielix doesn't want Sqar going up there. It was Sqar the whole time.

Yeah, he throws Tvac off the roof and gets the little gadget that Tuvac was trying to bring in. Turns out the thing that is coming to hit the planet, that's no asteroid, it's a starship. Uh-oh. The Italian order, they get on FaceTime, they'll like, get the fuck out of here, we claim this. You will withdraw.

This planet belongs to the Neezu. I feel like this was like the biggest twist that theTime and they're like, get the fuck out of here, we claim this. You will withdraw. This planet belongs to the Neezu. I feel like this was like the biggest twist that the people that they're helping are called the Neezu. I really like the vibe of these people, they get on the FaceTime with Voyager and they're like, who the hell are you? Now we're here to colonize, so, you guys better beat feet.

Yeah, move over. So we can go ahead and do that and they're like incredulous about voyage or even defending these people. Yeah. Why do you have a dog in this fight? Get out of here. Go be a ship of death somewhere else. Janeway is already pot committed after shooting that one torpedo.

She is not back in town now. And for a penny and for a pound. This may fall under the category of the sunk-cost fallacy, but we've already spent some of our dearest blood on this project. Yeah. There's coffee in that human expression. So, Tuba's gone over the edge of the elevator car, but he's actually clinging to the outside of it.

And Nielix is all fucked up on the floor, and everybody's like arguing over in the corner on the elevator. Aren't you wondering who else might've been in on this too? Because I didn't think it was just Sklar at this point. I was looking around it, who else was inside, and maybe the lady was in on it too. Yeah, or maybe the minor was like trying to get Dr. Vatum into Sklar's hands or something like that.

Right. Yeah, I was wondering too, but Neelix manages to sneak away and get the door open and basically alien Queen's Sklar. And we follow him all the way down. For thousands of feet were with him. Yeah, it's like the next five minutes of the episode. It really takes a long time. They had to fill time though. They were short.

Yeah, it distrets the taffy somehow. Yeah. And a really absolutely disgusting bloody death was the way they chose to do that. Yeah. RSVP Sqar. Yeah. You get what you deserve, Sqar. Selling out your people the way you did.

Yeah. So Nielix is concussed. What's crazy is like after Scular's body hits the ground the spot where his body hit was hit by one of the asteroids. Right, yeah. Like an excessive amount of Making sure he's dead. Yeah, and it cuts back up to the bridge of the Otanian order ship and the captain goes fuck you dude the attenion order ship and the captain goes, fuck you dude. Yeah, I mean, that's the first rule of double cross, right?

Like you kill your mark. Yeah, so Neelix's could cost and they've let a lot more oxygen out of the elevator car with these hijinks, but Tuva convinces him to get the car moving again. He sort of dry heaves his way through some sentimental encouragement about how Alixia would be proud of Nelix. He's like, I know that your sister would be proud of you, Mr. Nelix.

If you do not survive this mission, I will be happy to take up the mantle of morale officer on furniture in your honor. I love that little like, at a boy-to-vock, you're doing it from Nielix. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it It gets orange, did you notice this? Yeah, that was cool. Like the whole ship betrays how much hellfire is about to rain down on them.

I like that. More ships should do that. They're pretty outmatched. The Voyager is really getting its ass handed to it. Yeah, I mean, any species with asteroid weapon technology, I think would be a pretty difficult match up for the Voyager. Right. Running out of torpedoes as a comparison. But the elevator gets above the ionosphere and like, you know, we talked about how they stretch

the taffy in this episode. It's been a lot of time with Sklar falling back to the planet's surface. That, I think, gobbled up the time they could have used to show how this beam aboard went because it's like we're above the ionosphere. Suddenly, we're on the bridge with Tuvac having like programmed in an attack pattern. It's like the most elliptical edit in history.

Kind of a lot happened there. Yeah. So they take out the otanian ships, generators and weapons and the otanians retreat. And it turns out that this was all part of their strategy. Soften up the planet's surface by making it seem like a bunch of natural disasters were happening and then when the Nizu abandoned the planet, the Otenians move in, set up shop, hang out a shingle and it's their place now.

It seems pretty complicated of a plan if you're the Otenians, right? Yeah. Yeah, I had the technology to just orbital e-bomb art. Yeah, but this has plausible deniability. Yes, so. I guess they're worried about the bad look. Yeah, they get salvage rights to the planet this way.

Yeah, that's better. That's a lot better. The ambassador up on the bridge asks Nielix where his assistant is and Nielix says, oh, he's gone to a better place. He's gone to Sklarbro country. All right, we'll count it. That is the sort of word play we like on the show. That's at least as good as Greco-Theliuma, if not better. Oh yeah, you're right.

Very funny. Also some great news for Lilius, her sister Hala has been found. Shabbat Shalom, Lilius. Yeah, I mean, you think that with all the backstabbing that they now know about among her people, like as soon as this good news is shared, it seems like there may be an opportunity for some frontstabbing between Nelix and his hostage digger.

But no dice, she's gonna go run off and meet up with her long lost family. Sucks for Nielix Yeah, that would have been a great revenge six right you know yeah, that is doubtful Nothing kills the mood like a found family member though. This was not gonna go anywhere As soon as two back drops this bit of news yeah, yeah, I Kind of thought that at the end of this episode, two-vac might start choking Nelix again. Yeah, it's like the Homer and Bart Simpson,

early season Simpson's relationship they have. Right. Yeah. The whole bit about two-vac always has to have the last word because he's a prideful man Nelix pointing this out to him over and over again. Really see two-vac's blood boiling. Yeah. Two-vac tells Nelix that he's been him over and over again. Really see two-vox blood boiling. Yeah. Two Vactels and Elix that he's been nominated for some kind of post-mission award. And, uh, that's cool, right? Yeah, it's great. But would you give this episode an award, Adam? Did you like it?

You know, I'm really easy to get along with post-it-of-the-side. But I don't like bullets, I don't like reds, and I don't like you. I'm just joking. close to the side. But I don't like bullet, I don't like friends, and I don't like you. I'm just joking. This felt a little bit like one of those early season TNG episodes that's like utterly forgettable in the sense that when you're watching one of those deep cut cable channels that show nothing but TNG, like for an entire weekend, you

sort of forget ever existed. Right. Why is this on BBC America? Right. This feels like that kind of episode. Totally. And in a way, like it's enjoyable in that kind of way, but like totally forgettable in most every other kind of way.

Like, it's not the fault of any of the performers. It's just kind of a fine story, it's fine. It's fine. This is what happens when you introduce the Borgs halfway through your season. And you're just looking around for the Borgs the whole time and nothing else satisfies. It seems like the jump out from behind any asteroid.

Right. Yeah, I think I have a particular soft spot for this episode just because of my affinity for space elevators. I think that they're a cool idea and I like seeing their depiction. I think that this is the first time they've even been mentioned in Star Trek. You've always been very pro orbital transit. Yeah, give me all the orbital transit. That's what I say.

But yeah, I kind of agree that it's kind of a it is a light early TNG style Star Trek episode in many many ways and In that way I did like it just from a it's just kind of fun And I guess I kind of liked how like how little breath it expended trying to explain anything, you know like Much like the characters in the higher altitudes. Yeah, it's not worried about telling us why the Nizu got the the help of the Voyager or anything. It's just like, hey, here's some shit that happened one time. That's just it.

Like if the episode doesn't care, it's hard to make the viewer care, right? Yeah. But I'm I'm I'm here for the occasional episode that is not about the most intense plot development ever, you know. Yeah, this episode is chill as hell. It's chill as fuck. It's like the kind of thing you want to just watch from the comfort of a bathtub. I disagree.

FIRE! The stakes are 5,000 people. Like who gives a shit? Well Adam, I want to get into the priority one inbox, but I also want to get out of this tub. Yeah, I want to get into the priority one inbox dry. Yeah. Instead of looking down at my totally shriveled dick and ball. Let's go do it.

Let's get into the P1s. Alright. Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Need a supplement. supplement. Yes, extra. The interest alone could be enough to buy this ship. Ben our first priority one message is from Guy English.

Hey! You know Guy English from the Twitters. Yeah, on other places. This message is to Ben and Adam. And that message goes like this. Calling out Montreal's Ed Bagel Jr. As being a valid alternative to NYC's Ed Bagel Jr. deserves a gym sock full of tunis. Is that a threat?

Don't people usually hit each other with a gym sock full of tunis? Yeah, I think so. Is Guy English mad at us? I thought Guy English was from Canada. I think Guy English and Ben and Adam are fighting. The message continues. Q. Question mark in all of Trek, where would you drink and what would you order?

10 forward and Quarks granted. Yeah. Nobody wants what Nielix is fixing. Hahaha. Where Picard gets stabbed? With Scotty on K7, Kirk Bones and Scotty on Bridge Duty, all the series are open. Yeah, well, I mean,

Hazmasaro's Karma Barge would obviously leap to the head of the list for you because you love a gamble. I do love a gambling establishment which would mean that quarks would be on the list for me too. I got to say that bar where they

meet the multi-armed lady that knows Malota. Yeah, the Klingon Opera Lady Bar. Yeah, that place was cool as hell. That would be on my list. How about the Desert Planet in Star Trek V? Sure. With the watery pool table. I think you gotta go in that place not expecting the drinks to be great, but the atmosphere being...

That's a shot in a beer type place. Yeah, it's a CD environment. You know what you're getting. It's the kind of dive that you go to in a very rural place and just like, like, man, I can't believe that this is like someone's local. Yeah. You can fit in anywhere if you order a shot in a beer.

Yeah. Yeah. Give me some tequila. Yeah. The most off brand you got. I like to say, as I belly up to the bar. Nope. The most off brand you got. I like to say, is I belly up to the bar? Nope, I've heard of that one.

Try again. Stump the Outer Towner. It's a game I like to play with bartenders. Our next P1 is from Matt and West Virginia, and it is also to Ben and Adam. Goes like this. Do you're Ben and Adam? You're going to a conference? Knowing what always happens, I'm curious.

What kind of Star Trek conference is worth that risk to each of you? In what ship do you travel there? And with what Star Trek weapon do you strap up in advance of the inevitable Duskbuster Battle? Love your friendly Fed who thinks about these things, Matt. Matt's got a great question here, and I've got an okay answer I would say. Matt sent us patches and challenge coins from his outfit and... Yeah, we've known Matt a long time.

Yeah, long time listen. If you're priority a safety, here's how I'm getting there. This is the first part of the question that I have an answer for. Right. I'm getting on DeSoto ship or similar and like getting on a big ship that does Uber runs. I'm not getting into a shuttle. Yeah, I'm like I'm depending on Federation mass transit and by mass, I mean tonnage That's how I'm doing it. I think it's going to be safer that way. Oh, man. I have spent so much of my pandemic looking at pictures

of neat vans and looking at videos of people who have modified their vans to live in them that I kind of think that I would pick like a really cool trick down runabout, like a runabout that you bought, like... Runabout with the roll bar right barely got it registered and then like completely redid the inside and It's got like a composting toilet and a like induction burner and I thought there was a rule about going number two in the RV

There is you do have a toilet in there. I don't know how these people do it these hashtag van life people but they all seem to have a toilet and they I'm not ready to have a van until they can beam it out of me. So I think that's what I would take and then weapons wise for silences sake necklif. That's a good weapon. I want to sneak around. I'm gonna go key fob phaser for me because it's so tiny. You can really stick that anywhere and I do mean anywhere. Yeah, you can keyster it if you're getting locked up or whatever. Yeah, and as for the type of conference is worth going to, I mean, God, all of my real workplace conferences had to do with like ability betterment.

So I would go to a lot of like graphics and editing conferences like the Adobe company used to do a lot of conferences that my workplace would pay for me to go to. Oh man, that rules. It did rule. I wish I could have gone to one of those. I definitely like doing that, but like nowadays, I mean, I guess in the Star Trek universe, what sort of conference would there be? I'd probably go to an archaeology conference, just because I bet you would learn some wild shit about some aliens at an archaeology conference in Star Trek.

Yeah, here's the answer, and it's dovetailed off of your answer, is like you go to the archaeology conference on the chance of beating JL pipes and Like I would choose my conference based on the guest speaker Really cool guest speaker. That's the conference I want to go to yeah, Galen or better Yeah, Galen are equivalent for sure Hope that answers your question. I love questions in the P1 inbox. Those are great got two of them and I hope you're not too mad at us for Indoorcing the Montreal bagel if you've taken umbrage with something we've said or have a question for us or want to promote Business had to maximum fund out or slash jumbo tron and set up a P1

Yes slide into those P1 DMs. Yeah. And let's fill them up. Get in there. I'm giving you an order. I'm giving you an order. It's bad under spurt. I'm giving you an order. I'm giving you an U.F. Just crossed the line.

Hey Adam. Zappan. Did you find yourself a drunk Shimoda? A drunk Shimoda! I mean, it's the Italian order just in general, like as a species. Yeah. Didn't really understand their deal. It seemed like a fairly complex solution to a problem they could solve militarily.

I mean, why not just cut to the chase. This seems to take too long. Yeah, it seems hard. Especially when you're overmatching your opposition, right, right, the way that they clearly are. I just maybe this episode would be better if the heavy was better than the Italians, but I'm going to make them their entire species, my Shimoto. What about you, Ben?

I was going to name the Italian captain. So I don't know if that counts as a, as a double Shimoto or not. I think it does. Like the guy had one line, he got on FaceTime and showed a full face of loaf for the single line. And I just, I feel bad for any actor that has to undergo the hours in the makeup chair for that little on-screen time.

Yeah, that guy had a big day. Yeah, exciting. He's my Shimoda. Good Shimoda, Ben. But do we have a good episode up next? Oh, that's a great question, Adam. I'm going to pull open the description. Why don't you head over to Gach that biz slash game where we keep the game of buttholes the will of the caretaker. I know we're not going to be doing this next episode from the tub, but do we have anything to look out for? We do. I mean, a role of a six will land us

on a Janeway square, which would take us up to an area near the top of the board. It would actually land us on a measure of a man episode, which one of the special eps that we do from time to time. That's one of the ones that people really tell us about how much they hate. When doing bath tub depth so often, it's almost kind of losing their luster. Yeah, yeah. Not as special anymore. Well, our next episode of the season three episode, 20 favorite sun. Harry Kim experiences strong senses of deja vu in an unknown region of space. He soon learns that he is native to this region and he is Ticarian, not human. Well, Harry Kim is an alien. What the fuck?

He was going to find out eventually. Yeah, I guess so. He's like, why am I not getting better at clarinet? Is it because I have seven fingers on each hand? How is thought it was weird? My ambature just doesn't seem to be compatible with this read. Is it my weird sideways opening predator mouth? Anyway, Ben, that sounds very exciting. It sounds like a dry episode for us in the bathtub sense.

Are you going to roll that bone and tell us if it's gonna be a measure of a man episode though? I'm gonna. You're required to learn as you play. Roll. Tula! Did I win? Harvey. Ben I rolled a one as I often do which takes us to square 29. Wow. Keeping us in the third row, it's a regular old episode next time. That's just fine by me. Dry out a little bit. Yeah, I could use that.

That'd be nice. I did that thing where I put on my clothes wet. And I'm just very uncomfortable. I didn't spend the time drying that I needed to. Oh boy. That'll be annoying for hours. Yeah. uncomfortable. I didn't spend the time drying that I needed to. Oh boy, that'll, uh, that's gonna be annoying for hours. Yeah, yeah, nothing I can do about that. Nothing at all. Well, I'm looking forward to next week's episode for mainly for the reason that it won't be as

grody. Thanks to everyone that put up with this silly app. Thanks to everyone that supports us at Maximumfund.org slash join. Thanks to Wendy Pretty, the producer of this program. Thanks to Bill Tilly, the Card Daddy, who runs the At Greatest Trek social media accounts. Follow those accounts, really fun stuff. We're getting little audiograms of each episode up there now so that folks can share those. Show a friend of yours online, why I think this show is good. Yeah, we're trying to make this whole project friendlier for social media to share around.

It took us about six years to get there. I'm glad that we are. Things are looking and sound great as great as they ever have. I'm really happy to be working with Nick and Wendy and Bill on all these fun projects. Yeah. I'm happy to be touring with you Ben. This is a huge week for us because we're in the northwest part of our live show tour, the Double Dumb Ass Tour. This week if you're listening to this episode the day it comes out we're gonna be in Portland and Seattle and both of those cities have a special meaning to both of us and we're really excited to be doing a live show

there. We sure are. So come out and see the shows, go on greatestjentour.com if you don't already have tickets and we'll see you there. We got to thank Adam Rangousia, the man who made the music for this show, the dark material, the person who made the original Picard song upon which all of it is based, out of Bringusia now, big time, YouTube celebrity, go check it out. I can hardly remember when the goose wasn't big time, because it's been big time a long time. It's been bigger time than we'll ever be. Yeah, it's true.

Great guy, couldn't have to do a better time. You've been bigger time than we'll ever be. Yeah, that's true. Great guy. Couldn't have to do a better dude. Unless it happened to us. That'd be fun. Next time we'll be back at you with another great episode of Star Trek's Voyager, an episode of the greatest generation Voyager where Adam and I find out that we actually were born and raised in Los Angeles and didn't just move here! Wow! actually were born and raised in Los Angeles and didn't just move here! Make it sound. Make it sound. Make it sound.

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