The Greatest Generation - Idiot Meat (ENT S1E18)

Episode Date: September 9, 2024

When the Entrepreneur happens upon a rogue planet, they bring their night-vision monocles down to the surface and find their dad’s friend’s campsite. But when Captain Archer meets a super hot wrai...th who needs saving in the jungle, leveling the hunting field becomes his top priority. What technology should be available to us in 2024? How do you get Drayjin meat to fall off the bone? Which type of ball kick is the most satisfying? It’s the episode that definitely lives up to its title.Support the production of The Greatest GenerationGet a thing at podshop.biz!Sign up for our mailing list!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Riker - Quantum LeapThe Greatest Generation is produced by Wynde PriddySocial media is managed by Rob Adler and Bill TilleyMusic by Adam Ragusea & Dark MateriaFriends of DeSoto for: Labor | Democracy | JusticeDiscuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen and find us on social media:YouTube | Facebook | X | Instagram | TikTok | Mastodon | Bluesky | ThreadsAnd check out these online communities run by FODs: Reddit | USS Hood Discord | Facebook group | Wikia | FriendsOfDeSoto.social

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Starting point is 00:00:00 I'm packing my bag for a trip to London right now because this Saturday Ben and I will be at the London Podcast Festival doing a special second contact show for a nearly sold out audience. Floor seats? Basically gone. Balcony? Half gone. That little balcony that is directly behind the stage that you see people get tickets
Starting point is 00:00:21 for at stadium shows? Also half gone. You guys are crazy. And we're crazy about having a great time with you at London Podcast Festival, the first of our three show series of second contact shows happening. And you're invited to experience a night of big laughs about the Kevin Uxbridge episode, the sex candle episode, and the nubbin bugs episode. So go to greatestgentour.com to get your tickets for
Starting point is 00:00:47 this special three-show run starting in London on Saturday September 14th, then in Madison, Wisconsin October 3rd, and finally in Los Angeles on November 2nd. Greatestgentour.com to get your tickets to the shows and for VIP meet-and-greet tickets as well as Podshop.biz for priority one messages. Here's to the finest crew in Starfleet. When it comes to my crew, you won't get any argument from me. This is a parody. Paramount owns the song. Welcome to the greatest generation to Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys who are just
Starting point is 00:01:26 a little bit embarrassed about having a Star Trek podcast. I'm Ben Harrison. I'm Adam Pranica. How are you doing today, Adam? I'm hopped up on chocolate covered raisins. Oh boy. Not even chocolate covered espresso beans? No.
Starting point is 00:01:40 Just the raisins? Yeah, raisins are enough. Wow. You heard that story about David Letterman eating a stack of six candy bars before every taping of his show. You remember that here and there, right? No, I've never heard that before.
Starting point is 00:01:54 That was his thing. Before he would go out, he would rail chocolate bars. That's sort of like his version of what we do in the green room before a live show with tequila sodas. Yeah, yeah. Only in his case, it gave him actual energy to do a great comedy show. Instead of taking from the spirits of the two hosts
Starting point is 00:02:21 of a greatest gen live show. Great timing for that bit, given that we're trying to sell some tickets to some live shows. Oh, yeah. But it's true. You know, I can't disagree with that assessment. I mean, different things work for different people. For David Letterman, the stack of candy bars.
Starting point is 00:02:38 For you and me, the stack of booze bottles. Yeah, wow. That is staggering. Do we know what, was it an assortment of candy bars or was it a bunch of one type of candy bar? As I recall the legend, this is gonna disgust you, from what I heard it was Hershey bars. Whoa!
Starting point is 00:02:58 Like plain ass Hershey bars. I was picturing like the format of candy bar that like Milky Way and Snickers fall into, which is the like slightly logger ones. These are, he's just eating straight chocolate. I think you could put down six Hershey bars pretty easily, not even with teeth. Like you can gum those things down, they're already pretty soft. That's gotta be a bit of a stressor teeth wise, though, just for being on camera.
Starting point is 00:03:25 You definitely don't want to go on camera with a little bit of chocolate between. I mean, I guess he famously had the gap, so the two front teeth are not a concern. As a gap man, I imagine you've got some specific experience in this department, right? Yeah, I mean, I'm definitely a long-suffering, you know, I cannot eat popcorn or apples without just dealing
Starting point is 00:03:50 with it for the rest of my day or week, depending. Ben's a cat man! Scooby-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-bop. Ba-dum-ba-dum-bop. Scooby-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-bop. Ba-dum-ba-dum-bop. Like you've seen that I am an enthusiastic toothpick user. You really are, but there's no toothpick big enough for what you're working with. No.
Starting point is 00:04:16 Yeah, I need like the industrial ones. Hey, does your dentist, God, I shouldn't even bring up the specter of your dentist, given your traumatic experience with them. I like my dentist. It's my periodontist that I had a bad experience with. Do you use toothpicks instead of floss and does your dentist approve of your general oral health as a result? And I'll take my answer off the air.
Starting point is 00:04:41 As soon as I started asking that question I was like, boy you really sound serious about how much you care about the answer to this. I use both. Yeah? Yeah. Like toothpick four immediately after the meal, but I do, I do hit myself with the floss when I brush my teeth. I can't get with the toothpicks. I've also taken to mouthwash and I'm liking that a lot. Kick it with the mouthwash either. Too harsh? I used to swish with the Listerine and then like when the bottle's done,
Starting point is 00:05:13 I didn't think to get another one. That was 10 years ago. Yeah, it's probably overkill, I don't know. I did like the feeling, the feeling of pain. You know, like when stuff is so clean it hurts? That's mouthwash in my experience. So Letterman must have had six candy bars and then brushed his teeth.
Starting point is 00:05:36 Must have. And that's like chocolate into toothpaste is a real funky flavor combination. I mean, a chocolate mint isn't too far off from one of my favorite ice cream flavors. Yeah, but like if you had a chocolate mint ice cream and then immediately brushed your teeth after, I feel like you'd be like, this sucks.
Starting point is 00:05:58 Of course, I think it sucks every time I have to brush my teeth. We haven't come up with the technology that removes the need for this, come on. It does seem like in 2024, that should be available to us. A, I don't know, like a Roomba, but for your mouth. In 2024, I should stick a mouth guard, like tray style, where my teeth are, and it should be like a fucking car wash.
Starting point is 00:06:26 Like, all the jets, like the water pick thing, that's one jet. Give me a jet for each gap between every tooth. Why aren't we doing this? We have inventors out there. We got that guy that invented a hook that looks like a wrecked dick. Why don't we have an inventor in our audience come up with this new
Starting point is 00:06:48 hack for not having to take so much time brushing your teeth? I would suggest that we ask inventors who aren't hook, erect, dick inventors to focus on this one. Wasn't that guy also a physician? Like, he might be the perfect inventor for this. He might be. Let's follow up. Okay. Let's also follow up with what the crew of the NX01 entrepreneur are up to, Adam. It's episode 18 of season one of Enterprise today.
Starting point is 00:07:21 We're talking about an episode called Roosh Planet. ["Roosh Planet Theme Song"] Ben, this is an episode title that awakens the imagination, if it were asleep, for the first 17 episodes. Rogue Planet sounds like a movie title. It sounds like a science fiction book title. Yeah. And I was like, how is this episode going to live up to its great title?
Starting point is 00:07:50 Yeah. I feel like Rogue Planet is an idea that they have to explain at some point in the episode. Were you thinking like this planet is a renegade or were you thinking this is a planet that's not in orbit of a star? Like sentient planet? Or, yeah, or like the people of this planet are fighting back against something or, you know, whatever. Well, let's get to those matters as they come up
Starting point is 00:08:15 because they do, especially toward the beginning of the episode, and we can talk a little bit about how disappointing those moments might have been. But our cold open is on the bridge with Archer and he's sitting in a very unnatural way. But looking unnatural is kind of the way you can take a good portrait. Yeah. Take your chin out.
Starting point is 00:08:39 Just take the picture. And it's embarrassing because everyone is at their stations during. They didn't clear the bridge for this, yeah. It's humiliating. He's getting a lot of little comments from the peanut gallery. He didn't do the Brie Belke, grab a wad of TP and blot your oil.
Starting point is 00:08:57 Yeah. That's a great tip from her to me. But this is like a reference image for a painter who's going to then make a painting that will hang in the halls of Starfleet Command. That reminds me, Ben, you and I need to send photos to our poster designer for the second contact tour. Yeah, we sure do.
Starting point is 00:09:17 Let's do that immediately. We don't need to record this episode, do we? I think we gotta get it in the can. Shit. Okay. What Tripp is doing, I think, is familiar to us and anyone who has had to improvise with the locations that are available to them when you're shooting an interview in an environment, corporate or otherwise, like you just make do with what you've got. And these places are not made for the type of photography or video production that you're trying to do there.
Starting point is 00:09:52 The number of conference rooms I've tried to make look like anything at all. I mean, you would think at Giant Airplane Company, it would be easy to set up a shot that is dynamic with a lot of depth, with a lot of depth, with a lot of neat stuff in the background or whatever. But the plain truth is, I didn't mean for that to be a pun. There are very few places of a production environment that are safe or not too loud or whatever to do the sort of stand-up interview that I had to do a lot of the time.
Starting point is 00:10:28 Yeah. Yeah, I'm familiar with that phenomenon. So they're talking about this portrait and how important it's gonna be. Every recruit walking into Starfleet Command is gonna see this on the wall. It's a real honor, sir. Archer, very uncomfortable with it. Also, we learn at this conversation that some Vulcans get mummified if they're deemed to be important enough. I thought this was a reference to Tripp's experience in the Radicomes. Oh, was it?
Starting point is 00:10:59 I thought he was like, needling to Paul a little bit about the shit that he saw down there. I think more horrifying than anything, the shit that he saw down there. I think more horrifying than anything is the idea that Archer at this point could be known as an esteemed captain. Hmm, yeah. I don't think we're there yet. It seems a little premature. I mean, he is the captain of the flagship, but for what reason?
Starting point is 00:11:20 We know not. We'll get there eventually. Reed picks up a planet on sensors, Ben. Yeah. And it's alone and dark. It's a real dark boy. And it is so interesting to the captain that he goes and takes a good look at it on the view screen,
Starting point is 00:11:37 accidentally posing perfectly for Tripp to take a picture. That's great. You often get the best stuff when you're not really trying that hard, huh? Yeah. He's looking heroically off into the distance and that's just what you want. I loved how this rogue planet looked.
Starting point is 00:11:57 Yeah. So dark, so menacing. Really is. The idea of threat is apparent immediately. Yeah, it's great looking and it's, yeah, we get the little explanation of what mean rogue planet, it's been knocked out of its orbit or something, but unlike what that would imply,
Starting point is 00:12:16 it is not a frozen ball of dust. There's a bunch of volcanic activity that vents stuff into the atmosphere that keeps the planet warm and therefore there is plant and animal life thriving down there. They gloss over the science of this very quickly and that's because this isn't the story this episode is trying to tell. But my mind couldn't help but put all this together. Like the idea of a rogue planet sustaining life
Starting point is 00:12:49 just needs its own heat source and an atmosphere. And that's it. Like you don't depend on the gravity of a star in any way when its own internal gravity is sufficient to keep things on its surface? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I know that they have science advisors on shows like this,
Starting point is 00:13:11 but they also have to overrule science advisors for story sometimes. And I don't know, I have no idea if this is plausible. I mean. I love the idea. Yeah, there's theories that like some of the moons in our own solar system might be like hard outer shell of ice, inner ocean with life in it.
Starting point is 00:13:29 And the thing that keeps that life alive is like the heat from the core of the planet or something. I went to like the European Space Agency on a video shoot that was also a huge challenge to make interesting interview backdrops for, where they showed us like their plans for a probe that they're going to try and send to one of those moons that will like melt a hole in the ice and drop a submersible probe into the like subterranean ocean and go like look for space whales or something. So you know maybe this is real, maybe this is a thing. You can't keep your alien life dunked in water in the danger zone. You're gonna kill somebody. We got you a sous vide so that you can serve your customers beautiful, fall off the bone meat every single
Starting point is 00:14:27 time. What we've done for you is set up a sous vide station at each POS location of your restaurant. Our thanks to our supplier, LA Sous Vide Machines, Incorporated, whose stickers are not removable. No. So they also pick up a power signature down there. So there's like, somebody has landed a ship on the surface of this planet and they're like, oh, let's give them a call. See what they're up to. No answer.
Starting point is 00:14:56 A way team goes down to say hi, despite how foreboding this seems like it would be. Is it foreboding or is it pretty par for the course when a Captain Archer hails you and you don't respond? You think the word is out in the alpha quadrant, this fucking dope is flying around everywhere, blowing in calls to people, it's better just to ignore him. So in the shuttle pod descending toward the planet, we've got Archer, Reed, Hoshi, and T'Pol.
Starting point is 00:15:29 And it's a pretty rough ride to the surface. It makes you expect danger where really none exists in this way. This is a technique the episode uses a lot, kind of faking you out with what the real danger might be. And so they're landing near the energy reading that they picked up before, because that's where they think the ship is.
Starting point is 00:15:49 And they make their way through the jungle towards what they believe is the ship on their sensors. They're talking along the way about various levels of skill, W slash R slash T, roughing it. And we learned that both Archer and Reed were Eagle Scouts. You are such a boy scout. When it's time to compare how many merit badges each of them
Starting point is 00:16:16 earned, Reed only pulls out enough to win. Yeah, it's interesting that the one badge neither of them was able to get was kissing a girl. Ha ha ha ha. So they got that in common. Actually, I already have that one. I like those little night vision headsets they got there. Interesting that they're monocles, right? And they look very borgie in terms of their greenish hue.
Starting point is 00:16:42 They do. They find like a bioluminescent centipede, which is like, I was like, this is like the one animal you don't need night vision for. Why were they using that? There you go with your centipede merit badge. Ben, you knew that immediately. Yeah, I got it.
Starting point is 00:17:00 ["Legally It's Just A Fart Joke"] Hey, there's a campsite here that seems to be abandoned. So they all push triangle to pick up gold coins and herbs and ammunition from around the place. Yeah. Archer calls out an in-person hail here. This is what I thought was funny. We're from the Starship Enterprise. Is there anyone here? Still, no one answers. The hey you guys of hails. Yeah. Nobody's around. So, T'Pol and Reed are going to go check out
Starting point is 00:17:40 the ship, which is not too far away. We never got to see the alien vessel, which I really wanted to. It would have been easy, it was so fucking dark on this set. Like they just did the Sears Garden Center, but with no light and- This infuriated me so much. Yeah. Because you don't get a sense from just being around
Starting point is 00:18:02 this alien species, how advanced they are. I mean, they've got weapons sufficient for their hunt, but only a ship can tell you if they're advanced or behind of where the Enterprise is at, right? Yeah, it would have been so interesting to see. I mean, I'm just gonna ask you, do you think these people are more advanced than what we've got on the ship and their technology?
Starting point is 00:18:27 We don't have much to go on, but this is kind of the moment where the thing that made me feel they were more advanced happened, which is we see- We have wraparound goggles and you just have this one monocle goggle. Well, wraparound goggles that are also notably less grainy than the green night vision
Starting point is 00:18:45 that the Enterprise crew are using. It's like crisp and clear. So you're saying only through seeing through the eyes of a stranger, are you actually able to understand how they see the world? I never really thought of it that way, but that's super deep. Walk a mile in another man's night vision goggles. Yeah. So these guys look real tough and they are heavily armed with long guns.
Starting point is 00:19:15 I think more than looking tough, don't they sound tough? They do. The voices on these actors. Yeah. We've never seen other humanoids here before. They didn't go super far with casting three different guys that look really different. Like, these guys, we learned their names,
Starting point is 00:19:31 and I was like, they don't seem to have any different job responsibilities. They are completely interchangeable, as far as I can tell, for the rest of the episode. They are all your dad's friend, and you aren't really sure if they're from work or from some hobby or whatever. And you aren't even sure if they're different people. They just come over sometimes.
Starting point is 00:19:54 And then they go out on the back deck and kind of drink a lot, more than you've ever seen your dad drink before. And you know the next morning, not really to talk to your dad much, to like give him a wide berth. Make sure there aren't any Legos on the floor anywhere dad might be walking tomorrow morning. So yeah, we start to meet these guys, like they capture Reed and T'Pol, but then when
Starting point is 00:20:21 they bring them as prisoners back to camp, Archer and Hoshi have met the other one who, you know, Hoshi has like got the universal translator up and running so they can start to have a conversation. And we learned that this planet is called Dakala. Dakala? Dakala? It's like a popular snowboarding brand, I think. Oh yeah. It's interesting the tone of the two interactions.
Starting point is 00:20:54 A couple of the Enterprise crew meet the hunters and it's kind of dicey, but the ones who remained in camp, it's extremely cool and chill. Yeah. They don't seem to be worried about the fact that a lot of gold pieces have gone missing since last time they were at their camp. Has somebody been hitting triangle around here? What's going on? I see, uh, there's been a ton of stringy bird meat made up
Starting point is 00:21:22 under these little bundles. Why are all these chests open forever now? Archer asks if they can stay and hang out at the campsite in yet another example of Archer kind of not reading the room. I mean, these guys are clearly on a boys trip. You know, they're just out doing their hunt. And I think the last thing a tight knit group of friends wants to have
Starting point is 00:21:48 is a bunch of interlopers. Unlike a work trip, you know? Yeah. We could find another landing site, but I was hoping you might enjoy the company. These guys are too polite to kick them out of camp. So they share a meal of Draijon meat. And this is fantastic by many estimates.
Starting point is 00:22:14 The Enterprise crew is highly complimentary of the hunter's cooking skills. Archers like I should bring this up to the ship for our great chef to design meal ideas from. Yeah. You should probably know it is the main thing about my ship. It's great chef. This is not one of those Star Trek ships that's full of the best and the brightest, except for this one position, we actually do have the best of the brightest. But yeah, they talk about the what
Starting point is 00:22:47 these guys are here for. And this is where we learned that they are here to do a hunt. And the humans are kind of like, oh, we're not judging. It's just not really something that's done where we're from anymore. And the hunters are like, oh, yeah, but we don't hunt like the smart animals. Like there's primates that live here and we leave them alone. We just hunt these Draegans because they taste so good.
Starting point is 00:23:10 And they're dumb as hell. And dumb tastes good. Real good. Dumb just falls off the bone. Reed is so in. Like after tasting this Draegan meat, it's probably like marinated in pineapple, if I had to guess. You know, it kind of gives a new definition to low and slow when you're talking about
Starting point is 00:23:30 a Drajan, right? Yeah. Low as in the temperature, slow as in the intelligence. Yeah. It's real, it's idiot meat. Reed is so fucking excited to get to know these guys. He's like, I want to join your hunt. Like, I stand what you guys are doing here. I'm super impressed with your like ninja skills because you snuck right up on us
Starting point is 00:23:58 and I've never seen any of your videos. And I'm like, I'm so excited. I'm like, I'm so excited. I'm like, I'm so excited. I'm like, I'm so excited. I'm like, I'm so excited. I'm like, I'm so excited. I'm like, I'm so excited. I'm like, I'm so excited. I'm like, I'm so excited. I'm like, I stand what you guys are doing here. I'm super impressed with your like ninja skills because you snuck right up on us and I've never seen anybody do that on me,
Starting point is 00:24:11 Malcolm Reed, super soldier. You know, if you put a pineapple on this Dragen meat, what you'd have is like, hooli hooli dumb Dragen. See if our chef can whip up that recipe. Alpas dork. God that's perfect. So Trip and Reed go up to the ship to get more camping supplies because they're gonna be staying down here Like they don't ever use the the shuttle like an RV. It seems like they want like tents and stuff How interested do you think Reed is in roughing it at this point in his life?
Starting point is 00:24:58 Given shuttle pod one was just an experience of his. Yeah. Yeah Oh, maybe that's why he doesn't want to stay in the shuttle pod. Maybe, uh, maybe a tent is preferable in that context. God, I would be shuttle pod camping. No question. Get me off of the ground. Hoshi is all the way out in sort of the inverse of Reed's level of enthusiasm for what's going on down on the planet.
Starting point is 00:25:23 She's like, you know, miss me with the little critter that lays eggs in your ear, I'm going to sleep up here. And, uh, that's pretty persuasive, right? Sure is. Yeah. So on the surface, to Paul and Archer work out a plan for future visitors from enterprise, this is going to be a project for them, because Rogue Planet is really interesting. Remember, Rogue Planet being
Starting point is 00:25:49 the most interesting part of this episode? We're going to bring down scientists. They're going to study all of the interesting life forms and volcanic activity on this planet. They are just sitting around the campfire, totally unconcerned about the possibility that something could crawl into their ear and lay eggs at any moment.
Starting point is 00:26:11 It's weird that in this moment, one of the Eska, and we can't emphasize this enough, a person whose name we've heard and immediately forgot because he looks just like every other one, is like, yeah, you might as well hit the hay because hunting day is coming up and you're going to need your strength. So why don't you lay take on.
Starting point is 00:26:46 Archer later is following this advice and is maybe awakened or maybe just startled out of a referee by what sounds like his name being said, but might just be the insect eggs rubbing against each other inside his ear canal. But he's definitely like feels like he's hearing something. And he starts wandering off into the forest and there is a lady in a sheer nightgown in that forest. Classic ghost shit, right? Jared Yeah. I mean, we've seen this ghost in an episode of Baywatch when we were recording our hit episode,
Starting point is 00:27:28 Santa Monica Mountains podcast. Tickle, tickle, tickle. She's straight out of there. She really is. Although the wig is a lot better on this ghost. Yeah. Fair to say that this ghost lady is very comely and she's very flighty.
Starting point is 00:27:42 Yeah. She runs away from Archer. And the weird part about She runs away from Archer and the weird part about her running away from Archer is that Archer does not run after her or call to her or anything. He basically turns around to camera. Yeah, doesn't even tell her his address or social security number.
Starting point is 00:27:59 So back at camp, the group discusses what happened and no one can really explain what it might have been. I mean, there's no other ships around. There's no other hunting party there. A search party was sent out into the jungle and they have returned and found nothing. This seems like a good opportunity for Archer to continue, if not double down his description of what he saw. Even though the more he talks, the more he sounds like a lunatic.
Starting point is 00:28:31 She was wearing some kind of a nightgown. A nightgown, sir. So Paul's like, oh, maybe you dreamt it. And the main dude is like, this was probably something that happened inside your head. And Archer's like, no, this was real. I think we've talked a lot about over the years, the moments where captains have admitted being compromised and that being like a really good thing to admit something's up with you. And maybe it's not a good idea for you to be captain anymore. Totally. Archer does not subscribe yet to that belief, because if I'm Archer, I wouldn't say shit. I wouldn't say it before, during, or after this. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:17 Keep it under your hat for a little while, see if it happens again, you know? Yeah. Or if it was just a fluke. Three times is a trend. Maybe go up to the ship and have flocks, put an otoscope in your ear, see what's up with the eggs. If those could be scooped out or something like that.
Starting point is 00:29:34 One comely nightgown lady is none. Two is one. Three is a trend. Yeah. Three is like maybe the insects are now burrowing past your ear canal and into your brain. Yeah. Three is like, maybe the insects are now burrowing past your ear canal and into your brain. Yeah. This has the effect of rendering the victim extremely susceptible to suggestion.
Starting point is 00:29:53 So they're prepping for a hunt and these guys talk about how they've got two days left for their hunt because their custom is that you can only go to this planet for four days a year. That's how long hunting season is on the Rouge planet. So they're pretty eager to get going and read tags along with them while Archer and the rest of the crew go check out lava vents. We finally see what these little pig beasts look like. And they look like.
Starting point is 00:30:25 And they look like little floppy puppets from the Dark Crystal. I couldn't get that image out of my mind. Look at these little dumb pigs tasting so good like that with your dumb ass. Yeah. We see one of them like lose a game of tic-tac-toe to itself. And as you say, T'Pol and Tripp Tucker and Archer are in some other place exploring some steam vents. And there's a pretty good chance Archer has never seen slits this hot and moist before. He compares it to, uh, to Yellowstone.
Starting point is 00:31:08 And I loved when T'Pol was like, no, it's like that of a prime. And Archer and Dipper were like, nobody knows what that is T'Pol. That's a ball kick. That's just for T'Pol to enjoy. Yeah. Yeah. It misses Archer, but, uh but it still gets her what she needs. Yeah, I mean, like that's almost more satisfying
Starting point is 00:31:31 sometimes, right? Like the ball kick that the person didn't even realize was a ball kick. T'Pol goes off and relishes in her Phantom ball kick, leaving Trip and Archer to talk about Nightgown Girl again. Absolutely wild how this scene unfolds because Trip is like, I don't know, man. And the captain is like,
Starting point is 00:31:54 I've never done a foolish thing in my life, name one. That's something that someone says only as dialogue and never in real life. Like you and I have known each other for a long time. We've been friends a very long time. If I tried to challenge you to say a foolish thing I'd done, I wouldn't like the answer. I would start a new podcast and make that the topic.
Starting point is 00:32:20 And let me tell you, we'd never run out of episodes. And then you'd do one about me and it would be half as long, but still very long. The point is don't ask questions you don't want the answers to. That's it exactly. It's another bad look for Archer here. Right now in this moment, Archer,
Starting point is 00:32:40 you're doing a foolish thing that would be an example of the thing you're claiming you never do. It's interesting that Archer, you're doing a foolish thing that would be an example of the thing you're claiming you never do. It's interesting that Archer, again, tries to describe the thing that he saw, but unlike before he also defends his reason for bringing it up, which helps even less, I think. The idea that he was not in control of his own actions is really troubling. And I thought it was strange that this was when he brought that up for the first time, because it seemed like in the group with people who know more about this planet than you is the time to be like, I had like a scary experience where I wasn't entirely in control of my own faculties.
Starting point is 00:33:23 Anybody know what's up with that? Yeah. Yeah. I wasn't entirely in control of my own faculties. Anybody know what's up with that? Yeah. Yeah. Anyways, we cut back to The Hunt, and one of them thinks that he sees what he refers to as a wraith, but then it's kind of explained away as steam from a lava vent,
Starting point is 00:33:37 and Reed is like, ooh, steam from a lava vent? Let me go scan it. And they're like, no, no, no, don't scan the steam. I mean, the Eska in the scene take conspicuous care to make sure Reed is kept separate from this Wraith, the whole Wraith situation. Like, yeah, go fuck off over there.
Starting point is 00:33:56 We got to keep you safe from this thing. And that means that Reed has not gotten a look at this at all. Yeah. Trip is back taking pictures at the lava vents, which distracts him enough for Archer to find this lady again and wander off into the forest without giving Tripp a zup, hey, I'm going to go talk to this chick. You really shouldn't go wandering off in a jungle of a rogue planet anyway, right? Yeah. Char-Sheh-La-Fem, all you want, but not in the dark, in a jungle,
Starting point is 00:34:35 when you don't tell anybody where you're going, you know? He finds this lady again and she says his name and that makes him unzip his uniform again and she says his name and that makes him unzip his uniform to get a universal translator out and when he took this device out I thought about how much of a better idea it would be for him to take out a communicator to corroborate his batshit crazy story. Right? Yeah. Is this because he's in her thrall and he doesn't have control over what he's doing? Do you think that is a power that these Wraiths have? I thought it was purely Observational. I didn't think it was mind-controlly. Yeah, I mean we only get that one reference where he says like I don't do foolish things and this you know
Starting point is 00:35:20 I was I was clearly doing a foolish thing here. Oh Interesting. Yeah, interesting. Yeah. But, yeah, I was just mainly distracted in this scene by this not being Garcelle Beauvais from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. It's just a completely different person. This person is not Haitian-American at all. Not one bit.
Starting point is 00:35:41 And I don't watch that program, and even I know that. Yeah. Faith of the Fart. Not one bit. And I don't watch that program and even I know that. Yeah. Faith of the fart. Every morning I get up and I start my day right by taking my ritual vitamins. That is one little step doesn't really interrupt my day at all that I know is making the rest of my day just a little bit better. It's all about making small changes to achieve overall health goals. Ritual is a female-founded B Corp, meaning they're holding themselves accountable not
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Starting point is 00:36:52 which means if you've got a dress code at your school or workplace that requires a collared shirt, you're probably thinking of ways to get around that, aren't you? So that you can express yourself and your specific sense of humor and maybe your taste in podcasts. Well, I've got something for that. The Brenner Information Systems
Starting point is 00:37:10 Polo Shirt at Podshop.biz. It looks like a real company. It feels like a real shirt. And it is a reference to the episode of Deep Space Nine where Dax meets Chris Brenner of Brenner Information Systems. That Chris Brenner! You'll never have to explain that to a stranger because this shirt looks so legitimate that no one will ever ask. So get over to Podshop.biz and snag your Brenner Information Systems shirts and hats today. And know that every purchase helps support greatest generation and greatest trick. One thing we all have in common, we all have a mind.
Starting point is 00:37:50 It makes me so scared because I'm like, when is the bad thing going to happen? And minds can be kind of unpredictable and eccentric. Everybody wants to hear that they're not alone. Everybody wants to hear that someone else has those same thoughts. Depression Mode with John Moe is about how interesting minds intersect with the lives and work of the people who have them. Comedians, authors, experts, all sorts of folks trying to make sense of their world. It's not admitting something bad if you say this is scary. Depression Mode with John Moe every Monday at maximumfun.org or wherever you get podcasts.
Starting point is 00:38:32 Sound Heap with John Luke Roberts is a real podcast made up of fake podcasts. Like if you had a cupboard in your lower back, what would you keep in it? So I'm going to say mugs. A little yogurt and a spoon. A small handkerchief that was given to me by my grandmother on her deathbed. Maybe some spare honey. I'd keep batteries in it. I'd pretend to be a toy.
Starting point is 00:38:51 If I had a cupboard in my lower back, I'd probably fill it with spines. If you had a cupboard in your lower back, what would you keep in it doesn't exist. We made it up for Sound Heap with John Luke Roberts, an award-winning comedy podcast from Maximum Fun made up of hundreds of stupid podcasts. Listen and subscribe to Sound Heap with John Luke Roberts now.
Starting point is 00:39:11 She claims that she needs him, and that he's different than the others. So it seems like whatever force behind it has singled Archer out as in a unique position to help in whatever way they need help. Using seduction language primarily. Yeah. Because when you tell a stranger that you're not like any of the others, the implication there is clear. Yeah. Because when you tell a stranger that you're not like any of the others, the implication there is clear.
Starting point is 00:39:47 Yeah. This is kind of happening concurrently with the hunters heating up their guns and starting to shoot at something off in the distance. And the geography of this was a little confusing. I was worried that what was about to happen was the hunters were going to jump into this clearing and that was what she was freaked out about. But I think it was just she was freaked out because the hunters were shooting stuff and that's what her problem is.
Starting point is 00:40:14 Is that your read on this? She was presenting some spooked deer vibes. She was ready to get the hell out of there. It's not just the hearing of the hunt nearby, it's Tripp and T'Pol arriving with flashlights that make her finally go. And they're like, hey, Archer, what are you doing out here? And Archer does not tell them what he was doing out there,
Starting point is 00:40:39 which is very suspicious. I was just taking a piss. I don't do foolish things. What are you talking about? Where's the piss, Archer was just taking a piss. Yeah. I don't do foolish things. What are you talking about? Where's the piss, Archer? Show me the piss. I was around here somewhere. If he had to take a piss,
Starting point is 00:40:53 would he have to unzip from his neck all the way down? Oh man. That is a good question. I never thought about that. Yeah, kind of a production. I mean, but that's like a question with all Star Trek uniforms in a way. Like, are you telling me that there's no opening
Starting point is 00:41:13 on the fly on a back zip? Action jacket lets you piss. Action jacket lets you piss. Man. I mean, that's straight out of the commercial though, and it's famous tagline action jacket. Let's you piss So This coincides with a wraith attacking a hunter and we see this from a POV of this like sluggy alien
Starting point is 00:41:39 Slapping into his field of view and then back at the camp One of the three hunters is gravely wounded. He has a bloody chest wound. We learned that he's lost a lot of blood and the Enterprise crew are able to persuade these guys that a shuttle evac is probably the best call and part of this is just their urgency around finishing their hunt in the time they have allotted. You probably know this reference off the top
Starting point is 00:42:11 of your head, but like, isn't it always more upsetting when you're playing a video game and you're, you're fighting monsters or, or whatever for that monster to be like sluggy and slappy instead of one with appendages and things to throw at you. I feel like the kind that just sort of flirps at you and the accompanying sound is just the worst.
Starting point is 00:42:39 Yeah, and it's something that they've been able to do in computer animation for a long time in a way that this, like, I thought that the CG in this episode held up really good. Yeah, not bad. So this injured Eska, it feels like they could treat him in the field hospital camp area,
Starting point is 00:42:59 and he'd probably be fine, but Archer's like, look, we get a Dr. Flax up there. I mean, I've told you about the chef. The chef's great. I need to reiterate how great our chef is. Our doctor, not quite as great of a doctor as our chef is a chef, but still very good. So why don't we bring this guy up to the ship?
Starting point is 00:43:18 This guy's got slugs. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, you'll love these slugs. They send him a, like, Archer doesn't want to leave the camp, but the hunters are kind of like, hey, we kind of want to focus on the hunt with the time we have left. These hunters just don't act in a familiar way at all. Like, if I'm in a place with a camp, I'm not gonna let some fucking stranger chill out there while I go hunting.
Starting point is 00:43:45 It's just too suspicious. And the guy who wants to stay there is the one who's been seeing shit that isn't there. Yeah. I don't know. So, Paul is the one that Archer approaches with his confession about... Let's call her ear egg lady lady for lack of a better term, probably something to do with the ear eggs. And this is met with a slightly more openness by T'Pol because she is able to
Starting point is 00:44:15 determine that he wasn't hallucinating or dreaming based on like tricorder readings, I guess. But, uh, he won't see a doctor. He won't like go up and tell flocks about what's going on in a way that I feel like almost approaches a moment where T'Pol should have been like, okay, I've got to relieve you of command because clearly like something is going on right now. Funny how that never feels on the table ever. It doesn't. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:42 What Archer tells her is that he's not going to go back to the ship, even though he's acting like this and seeing all this weird stuff in the jungle. And really what he wants to do more than anything is go back into the jungle and confirm what he's been seeing. And it's really important that he goes alone. Yeah. And that's the worst sounding part of this. It's a real buddy system skeptic.
Starting point is 00:45:02 Yeah. I love to Paul going like, if it was like a partially nude man, would you be so excited about going back into the jungle? Archers like, this is early 2000s TV, so... Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Up on the ship, Trip pays a visit to Six Bay where Phlox is putting the finishing touches on healing up one of them. Which one? Who's to say? We see the chart that Dr. Phlox is holding and the name line is blank. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:39 He found some cellular residue in the wound, which he says is like mutating and doing weird stuff. A subject of concern, but we cut right back down to the planet where Archer is having a conversation with his mystery ghost, Ear Egg Lady. This lady grabs him this time and it is startling that he can feel her touch. Yeah. And she admits once again that Archer is just not like the others. Yeah. And that her people are not like him.
Starting point is 00:46:14 She starts, you know, like getting into some of her favorite parts of They Not Like Us, and feels really inappropriate at this moment moment but it's also just such a banger it's like you know let's give it a listen she can become anything she says and it becomes clear that this is what the hunters are hunting if I'm Archer this has got to come with a demonstration oh you can become anything can you you're just gonna tell me you can? How about become a naked-er lady? Let's see that nightie become a little more sheer.
Starting point is 00:46:58 Does it work like a slider where we can just kind of like fade it up and down or...? Have you ever seen weird science? I'm gonna start feeding you prompts from this magazine that I brought with me to the campsite. Like we'll sink the manatee, you'd love it. Back at the camp, the hunters are reunited and they're having a toast to flocks, Archer toasts to their hunt,
Starting point is 00:47:22 but now is acting a little bit suspicious about these guys and the fact that they haven't been totally candid about what they are there to hunt. And they start talking about, oh yeah, like we're actually hunting something that can get inside your mind, not just inside of your ear, like the insects that lays the eggs, but fully inside your mind.
Starting point is 00:47:47 This explains the Eska's weird desire to grab one of these dumb pigs and dump it in the middle of Central Park as to sort of drop the charade and start admitting what they're there to actually hunt and how dangerous this prey actually is. This is a prey that can get inside your mind and that's what Archer's been seeing. He has a very dark story about one of them attacking his father and the folks in his father's hunting party. And his father survived, thank God. A great man his father was. But most of this hunting party was killed. Do you think they can read your mind just because those eggs are right there?
Starting point is 00:48:40 Probably. I can't do the parody. A story like this has to have the father die because it gives this character a reason to be on this sort of blood lust they clearly have. I think it takes the lust and the blood out of his reason for hunting by having him survive, right? Right. Like, you think about your dad's friend who came over and they sat on the back porch and drank all that beer. Now, if your dad went hunting with that friend, and that friend was claimed by a mysterious wraith that tricked them into a box canyon, and only your father and a couple of others got away.
Starting point is 00:49:30 You wouldn't be like, I've got to get revenge for my dad's weird friend that came over. ["SHADOWS"] Exactly how you've described this story and this person's reason for being so enthusiastic for the hunt just doesn't quite hang together for me. And so I was expecting for another shoe to drop after this. Clearly this wasn't a reason sufficient for the hunt and this person's single mindedness toward hunting these things into extinction, right?
Starting point is 00:49:59 I mean, there's also like an argument over their intelligence. And the hunter guys are like, oh yeah, like, I mean, obviously intelligence is like somewhat subjective, but like none of us would consider them to be intelligent. I mean, they're dumb, but they're not like those fucking dumb fuck pigs that we eat all the time. Just the slowest of the slow. You know, and now that I think about it, they taste less good. So maybe it's like an inverse correlation,
Starting point is 00:50:28 like the dumber you get, the tastier you get. Is that possible? Probably. But they also say, like, we develop technology where we can detect the pheromones that this creature emits when it's afraid, and that gives us an advantage in these hunts. So, we would like to get on with hunting one of them before our window closes,
Starting point is 00:50:49 because, like we said, we only have those two days left. The whole goggles to see pheromones thing at this point was like. Come on. Did you guys order this out of the back of a porno magazine or something? Yeah. So that's what the hunters do is they corner these wraiths. They start emitting this chemical and then when they're able to pick this up on their
Starting point is 00:51:16 red goggles, they shoot. Yeah. That's how they get them. So up on the ship, we have a McLaughlin group. Issue one. About how distasteful they all find this to be. Yeah. And T'Pol's like, yeah, but like, you know, we don't have any, like, jurisdiction here.
Starting point is 00:51:34 It's not our place to stop them or correct them or do anything. And even if we stop these guys, it's not like these people are not gonna keep coming here and doing this. Archer's like, what can I going to keep coming here and doing this. Archer's like, what can I say? These wraiths are hot and they need me to save them. So that's what we're going to do. And how we're going to do it is pretty passively.
Starting point is 00:51:57 We're going to come up with a chemical agent that masks the other chemical agent that is released by these wraiths. It's going to scramble their little red goggles so much that they won't be able to hunt them as effectively. And it's going to give these beautiful blonde women a chance to survive. These super fuckable wraiths. I'll start right away. Later in the mess hall, Trip is up late, and the only thing that can satisfy his thirst
Starting point is 00:52:26 is a giant glass of milk and a Coke float glass. And it's in this scene that Archer bores him with his retelling of a Yeats poem. And in this piece, there's the description of a woman... With apple blossoms in her hair. And this woman is the woman he saw on the rogue planet. Yeah. And this is a reason that Archer sort of remembers
Starting point is 00:52:49 and sort of does not remember this person, because as a young man, you jack it to all sorts of materials. Yeats poetry. That's like the most Star Trek jack-off material there probably has ever been, right? That's the four-piece string concerto in Ten Forward of Jack-Off materials. You remember how John Rambo in Rambo First Blood Part II
Starting point is 00:53:14 was shown all of the weapons and technology available to him to complete his mission? And his whole deal was, I always thought the mind was the best weapon. This scene sort of postulates that Archer always believed that the mind was the best pornography Like that so he gets summoned by flocks on the radio and we cut down to the planet where the hunters are on to a Wraith and trying to corner it.
Starting point is 00:53:47 And it appears to be a Dragen and it's just going like, do, do, do, do, do. But then it turns into a tree and it suddenly seems way smarter. Yeah, the wisdom of the tree of Harator. So wise. The relative wisdom of the tree.
Starting point is 00:54:10 Like I'm smarter than that tree, but like. You don't see people wanting to eat any trees though. Exactly. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So they can't detect it. They're like scanning around and it bonks one of them. And now the hunters are all freaking out. They get back to camp and Archer is there to kind of gloat about they were able to
Starting point is 00:54:33 do something to teach the wraiths to suppress this pheromone, I guess. But it's interesting how unspoken what happened is, right? Like the returning hunting party's like, God, our red goggles are ineffective. And Archer's like, huh, interesting. Well, anyway, I guess we're gonna leave you to it. And that's about as close as he gets to admitting fault for that. And as about as close as we get to understanding
Starting point is 00:55:03 what he did, like, did he give them technology? Did he give them, like, bug repellent that they could spray on themselves to mask this odor? Like... Did they shoot a thing from orbit? Yeah. I don't know. What was it? We don't know.
Starting point is 00:55:18 Feels like we skipped a scene here. The hunters are pretty cheesed off about this whole thing, but Archer walks into the forest to have one last little interlude with shift dressed ghost ear eggs lady. Just rolls off the tongue when you say it that way. She seems insistent that he not forget about her and that there is some sort of thing between them that I think, conversely, she will never forget. Then she takes his hand and then she lets it go like at the end of all romance movies, where the love doesn't last. You do that very dramatic let go of the
Starting point is 00:56:01 fingertips finally before they're gone. Who doesn't love that moment? Couple seconds pass and Archer's feeling the feels of a love that he's gotta let go. And then she transforms into a terrifying slug. Ugh! When this thing slithers into the forest, they cut back to Archer and his face here. Bill Tilly, you gotta put this expression on the card.
Starting point is 00:56:31 What is this face? It looks like he's gagging. Yeah. As the saying goes, he does not look happy to watch her go or leave or whatever. I heard that the special costume effects team was really annoyed with Alan Croker, the director of this episode,
Starting point is 00:56:49 because he didn't get any coverage of Archer, like, from the knees up. And they had rigged this whole thing where it would look like his boner immediately disappeared when she turned into the slug. Like, there was, like, an inflatable mechanism in the pants that would just give way. Boner would completely die down.
Starting point is 00:57:10 And it's like not in the episode. It's like, why did we even spend the time rigging that up? Is Slug Lady attractive to those who prefer tentacle porn? Because maybe the expression on Archer's face is, oh, could you imagine what that thing could have done to my crank? All wrapped around it like 14 washcloths? I feel like the tentacle porn community are kind of focused on what the tentacles are
Starting point is 00:57:37 doing to ladies rather than what the tentacles are doing to gentlemen. Well, I don't like that. You're an equal opportunity tentacle man. I sure am. Ben, did you like this episode? Yeah, I mean, I think that this episode was a bit mid in its premise and a bit poor in execution. Like, I can tell that this is the kind of episode that a producer just fucking loves because, oh, we just cast like...
Starting point is 00:58:18 We got like one casting call for three different characters, right? Because they're all the same type. So, we just bring in all of the actors that fit this general description, tap three of them on the shoulder. We're shooting the whole thing in a Sears garden center at night, so we don't have to build any sets, we don't have to do anything.
Starting point is 00:58:39 Like, we're never even going to see another alien spaceship in this. Like, the most expensive thing about this episode is probably animating Dregons walking around. Yeah. Yeah, that's for sure. And even then, these dumb fucks don't deserve that big of a portion of the budget, right? I'm honestly wondering, did a Dregon write this script?
Starting point is 00:59:00 Because it seemed like it kind of sucked. Oh! Boo! You just got banned. Ben's gonna hang up on this episode. Fucking spiciest takes in the game coming from me lately. Wow, wow. How about you? I know there have been times I've watched episodes like this where my review has been
Starting point is 00:59:28 like, this sucks. They ran out of money and they did a stupid story. I don't know what's changed about me, but I like this dumb little story. Okay. I like a really nice low stakes, weird rogue planet full of hunters hunting slug ladies. Like, we're never gonna hear from this rogue planet again or these Eska or these slug folks. The stakes seem extremely low at all times.
Starting point is 00:59:57 The only people who get hurt are the Eska and even the Eska we don't really give a shit about. Yeah, there's something so nice about like a low stakes episode of Star Trek that is just dumb Star Trek fun. This is dumb Star Trek. And I mean that with affection. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:15 Good call. That's right. I'm out with it. Let's see what sort of dumb we find in the priority one message inbox, Ben. What do you say? Let's do it. We really supplied the dumb and
Starting point is 01:00:27 FODs supply the messages for us to read. Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on secure channel. Need a supplemental income. Supplemental income. Supplemental. Yeah, it's extra. By the interest alone, could be enough to buy this ship. Adam, our first P1 here is of a promotional nature,
Starting point is 01:00:50 and it goes like this. Everyone knows that Mournhammered episodes are the best. This was almost a Mournhammered episode, right? Didn't you roll? It would have been. We were on square 100. Almost could have been one.
Starting point is 01:01:03 What synergy that would have been if we'd hit it. But what my theory presupposes is maybe they could be better. Here's how. Cue this old enterprise. Now when you're going to do a Mon Hammond, what you got to do is cross it with a live video stream and a chat room. Then all your FODs can enjoy the benefits together. Incidentally, was horrified to hear Adam say that not all shots are 1.5 ounces, but you
Starting point is 01:01:31 do you. Shouldn't be encouraging too much excessive drinking. Cue new hypercompliance drop. Ben's hypercompliance. Woo hoo! Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rule? Did you see the memo about this? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:48 If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what is, what's the rule? Compliance. Hmm. Yeah. Yeah. I can be or anything. So, so the call to action here is, more Unhampered episodes should be live on video with chat room, and that's from gray man. I Don't hate that idea. I think it would take some doing to
Starting point is 01:02:12 Put it on the twitch or whatever yeah, but we figured that out before Yeah, and I think that would be easier now with our the way we do our video conferences, so yeah We could we could potentially look into that. Like I wouldn't want to be interactive with the chat during because I feel like- It would make a three hour episode if we did, yeah. And unlistenable for the home podcast listener. But Gray Man, your pitch is going to be taken
Starting point is 01:02:39 under advisement, which is more than we can say for anyone that merely gets a personal priority one message. Regarding the 1.5 oz shot, Ben and I are in agreement that the home pour is a 2 oz pour, but for the purposes of a Mournhammered episode where it's like a power hour situation, 1.5 oz pours of beer are what you want to do. If you're getting a little loose with it, you're gonna get a little more or a little less there, but yeah, generally with the beer, I'm with you on 1.5 and for everything else the two. Yeah. Ben, we've got another priority one message here. This one is from Cory with Annie and Emmet as official witnesses and it is to Becca. This has been like notarized, this priority on message?
Starting point is 01:03:26 This message goes like this. I made a bet with you after watching season one, episode seven of Star Trek Enterprise that Adam and Ben would do a parodic riff in the style of REM's Stand for Shran. That did not happen. Wow. This is my payment for said bet. And maybe I'll get you a pre and or post Cabanica Coco Nono at Golden Tiki this year at STLV. Wow.
Starting point is 01:03:55 Also, I love you and stuff. Thanks for being the best living human. That rules. I mean, it does kind of write itself itself right? Schran is an Andorian. He's so conniving. Close I think we almost have our arms around that one. Yeah, I mean that's without thinking about it at all. You and I went to Golden Tiki at STLV. What a place.
Starting point is 01:04:24 It was a delight. It was lots of fun I'm still mad at myself for smashing my tiki mug that I got there like moments after we got to the Rio Hotel Ben I love you so much No, you don't but the moment don't bullshit a bullshitter when we were on the car ride back from Golden Tiki to the hotel Properties and I was like you should take that back to the room. Let's not take that out into the world to the masquerade bar, it's too dangerous. You were so confident.
Starting point is 01:04:55 I worried so much for that glass. And when its bag of shards was handed to me, I didn't have the heart to give them to you. I was like you should You should dispose of this Bartender Don't have the heart to do it. I did abandon the shards on that bar didn't I you left the shards? Yeah Shards on the bar in the Rio They're still there because no one cleans the Rio because the Rio's are a shitty hotel
Starting point is 01:05:28 The Rio doesn't clean the carpets. They just replaced the carpet Yeah, they're kind of like Adam on tour with underwear. Hmm indeed Our last P1 here is from Lee Moore of Sheffield UK it. It's dependent Adam. It goes like this. B and A. My wife, Roz, passed away on January 24th after a fight with cancer. And while she was never an FOD, we did like watching Trek together.
Starting point is 01:05:57 I shared GG jokes, which she liked, and they'd end up in our personal bit stores. Listening to the pod helped me fill a quiet house with surprisingly comforting dick jokes. Thank you. Looking forward to the London show. Oh boy, Lee. I'm really sorry to hear that and really glad to hear that we could give you
Starting point is 01:06:18 any sort of comfort during what has got to be a tough time. Yeah, man. I'm hoping you'll come up and introduce yourself after the London show, because that's a super tough thing you went through, and anything that we could do to make that slightly less horrific is something I'm glad we could do, even though we weren't really trying. We'll fill your house with dick and fart jokes. You know that's what we're gonna do. We'll send you home with a bag full of shards of dick and fart
Starting point is 01:06:49 jokes. If you'd like to get a priority one message head to maximumfun.org slash Jumbotron and set one up today. Hey Ben! What that, Adam? Did you find yourself a drunk Shimoda this episode? Incredible. Drunk Shimoda. I think I'm going to have to give it to, I don't know which of them, but all three, I guess, of the other guys. I feel like what's funny about them to me is how quickly they clocked the Enterprise crew as people that were going to be really judgmental of their hobby.
Starting point is 01:07:27 And so kind of slow rolled what they were actually up to. And it's not like a funny laugh out loud moment, but the more I think about it in retrospect, the funnier it is. They were like, these guys are pretty square. We better kind of obfuscate what exactly it is that we are hunting. Like obviously we'll give them some Dregin meat
Starting point is 01:07:46 and they'll be like, oh, these guys are cool, but if they know anymore, it's gonna go bad for us. I couldn't get over the voices of these aliens, these Eska, and primarily that of the one played by Keith Zarabajka. They killed more of us than we did of them. So gravely. He's got like a voice that could do film trailers.
Starting point is 01:08:09 And when I looked at his IMDB, he is a video game voice legend, I think, for a reason. Just so many video game voice credits here. Not a surprise at all. That rules. Yeah, a lot of animation. Guy's got gravel-filled golden pipes. So just a drunk Shimoda from me to him for his noteworthy performance.
Starting point is 01:08:36 Absolutely. Faith of the fart. Why don't you tell us what we're watching on the next episode and go over to goch.biz slash game to see how we're watching on the next episode and go over to goch.biz slash game to see how we're going to watch it. Next episode is season one, episode 19 acquisition. When the Ferengi, a group of intergalactic thieves, stun the enterprise crew and try to rob the ship, it's up to Trip to work covertly to stop them.
Starting point is 01:09:01 Finally. How early is too early to introduce the Ferengi to a Star Trek series? What Star Trek Enterprise presupposes is the 19th episode of the first season. Yeah. Intergalactic Thieves is kind of an interesting way of putting it.
Starting point is 01:09:19 What other galaxies are they going to to thieve around in? I don't know. Anyways. I do't know. Anyways. I do not know. I am at the game of butt holes. The will of the reicher quantum leap where our run about can quantum leap anywhere on the board.
Starting point is 01:09:36 We are rolling from square 100 and I'm gonna hit the button now. You're required to learn as you play role I have jumped us to square 38 Which is a regular square regular episode next week that every row has got multiple Things on it. We have missed the last few times. Giving us a false sense of safety, I believe. But I'm looking forward to it. I want a clear mind, a clear conscience when I'm reviewing what the Ferengi are up to.
Starting point is 01:10:17 Yeah, agreed. I don't want a belly full of breadsticks for that one. I want to focus on the task at hand. Well I want to focus on all of the gratitude we have for Friends of DeSoto who support what we do here on a monthly basis by going to maximumfun.org slash join. We sure appreciate your assistance and we hope you appreciate the bonus episodes you get access to for doing that. Gotta thank Windy Pretty, our producer, who edits these shows and keeps all of the plates spinning
Starting point is 01:10:50 at Uxbridge Shimoda HQ. Gotta thank Rob Adler and Bill Tilley, who run our social media accounts. Follow at Greatest Trek all over social media. And hey, check out our newsletter that Rob Adler puts together every month. Sign up for that at gotch.biz slash mail. You and I are writing pieces for that right now, as we have the last few months of the
Starting point is 01:11:13 newsletter. It's a fun little creative outlet for you and me. Sure is. We really look forward to it. And of course, we've got to thank Adam Ragusea for our parody theme music based on Diane Warren's original Enterprise theme and Dark Materia for the card song. With that we will be back at you next week with another great episode of Star Trek Enterprise and an episode of the Greatest Generation Enterprise where we once again thank our lucky stars that
Starting point is 01:11:41 the sharpen your own teeth square didn't make it onto the game of butt holes. Oof. My head's just ringing thinking about it. My head's ringing because of all these alien eggs that have been laid in my ears, dude. Mind if I go knock those out? You've told me that you're not a Q-tip man, so I don't know how you think you're gonna get those out of there.
Starting point is 01:12:05 About one of those little cameras that get advertised on Instagram. Clear and out earwax. Make it so. Make it so. Joe Picada. Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network. Of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.

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