The Greatest Generation - Infinite Butts in Infinite Combinations (VOY S3E22)
Episode Date: April 25, 2022When the Doctor plays house in the holodeck, his fantasy family life is uniquely disgusting to BLT. But when the ship encounters some anomalies that could get Janeway more coffee and Chakotay more nac...hos, Paris will have to become good friends with Eddy. What happens when you cross the Children of the Corn with the Brady Bunch? What do you do when your teenage son gets into Kliemo culture? Why isn’t the crew exploring the correlation between the disappearance of the anomaly and the disappearance of BLT’s braid? It’s the episode where we measure the Talaxian Champagne from the desk.It’s the MaxFunDrive, and we’d really appreciate if you’d click this link andSupport the production of The Greatest Generation. Friends of DeSoto for Democracy.Friends of DeSoto for Justice.Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Caretaker!Music by Adam Ragusea & Dark MateriaFollow The Greatest Generation on Twitter, and discuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen!The Greatest Generation is now regularly streaming on Twitch.Facebook group | Subreddit | Discord | WikiSign up for our mailing list!
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Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel.
Hey friends of Disodo.
Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor
actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry.
If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join
us in standing in solidarity with the folks who actually bring these adventures to life.
Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production
Studios, have reduced the profit from movies and TV going to workers. And in so doing,
they've attempted to weaken the labor unions that represent those workers. They wouldn't
even engage the unions on many issues in their negotiations. And so a strike was the only course of action to take.
Adam, Wendy and I have been having a lot of internal
discussions about how best to stand with the unions
and we are continuing those conversations
in a dynamic situation.
We're doing our best to understand where the picket lines
are in these digital spaces,
and we would never intentionally cross one.
With the information we have,
we feel like we can do more good talking about and supporting
the strike and continuing our show as planned.
We'll keep you informed about what all this means for greatest trek specifically.
Today we're making a contribution to the Entertainment Community Fund.
This fund exists to help all the people whose livelihoods have been put on hold because
the AMPTP refuses to negotiate
in good faith with the unions. It provides financial support for writers, actors, and all the
thousands of laborers who make the shows that we talk about here and without whom we wouldn't
have Star Trek to cast pot about. Those folks are all out of work because billionaires,
company shareholders, and the executives of these companies don't want to compromise on the length of their yachts.
We hope you'll join us in supporting entertainment workers
in a challenging time,
especially after they've already endured
several years of challenges brought on by the pandemic
and season two of Star Trek Picard.
We've set up a page where you can also contribute.
It's at friendsofdecotoforlabor.com.
That's friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdisotoforlabor.com. Link in the
episode description. Okay, now let's get on with the show.
Here's to the finest crew in Starfleet. Engage!
Watch your back shot. Hello. I'm Captain Captain Bringing with the U.S. and Fort Bend.
Captain Captain Captain Bringing with the U.S. is for the captain captain Bringing weather the U.S. is for the captain
Welcome to the greatest generation. It's a Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys who are a little bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast
I'm Ben Harrison. I'm Adam Prenica. I'm like semi-self-conscious because I know that we have a lot of new listeners
I'm like semi self conscious because I know that we have a lot of new listeners.
We've been watching the numbers tick up a little bit and I'm like, should we do more showmanship so that they'll like think that there's a professional
operation and stick around, but that's never been what's worked for us.
There has been a fair amount of conversation behind the pod about what it means.
Like this is not just a gradual uptick in listenership,
there has been kind of a spike,
and we don't know where it came from,
and I personally see it as a threat.
That's my baseline.
You interpret all news as bad news
because of, well, just look around.
Yeah, how could it not be?
Where do these people come from?
Why are they here?
And when are they leaving?
Those are the three questions that they're talking about for me.
So maybe my, uh, my phony showmanship will scare them away.
They'll be like, what is this bullshit?
I'm out.
I personally like a little bit of showmanship out of you.
Mm hmm.
Sounds good.
Oh, sounds good on you.
It looks good on you.
Oh, thanks, bud. For me and everyone else watching good on you. It looks good on you. Thanks, bud.
For me and everyone else watching at home. But what looks good in me, Adam? Would you
say it's Tlaxian champagne? What looks good in me is kind of a seductive question.
Yeah, that's a tab I have open up a browser. Do you think it's like you know there are those websites you can go to to see what what glasses look like on a shape of face?
Oh, yeah, there's got to be a sex toy website that's like what looks good in me and it's like
differently shaped toys and then I picked like a fully rendered picture of your butt shape like this there's definitely
rendered picture of your butt shape. There's definitely a triangle butt.
You use the LiDAR on your iPhone to give them
a bit map of what your B hole looks like.
Circular butt, square butt.
All the shapes of butt.
We've got an Apple bottom.
Will this butt plug be flattering?
Yeah, infinite butts and infinite combinations.
Mm, epic.
So at the end of the last episode, the game of buttholes made this a
Tlaxian champagne episode and you know what that means.
You and I are taking entire bottles to the dome this episode.
And you're going to actually do it, right?
Unlike the cocoa no-no that we had recently.
Oh, man, I've got a surprise for you.
Oh. know know that we had recently. Oh, man, I've got a surprise for you. Oh, got I got my got my work out
done before. Yeah, that's been done. I do also have a bottle. So the surprise is just you're gonna do
it. I've got this bottle of champagne here on ice. What kind of champagne are you drinking? I am a
a big fan of the Las Haras family of wines out of California. So I've got one of their
sparkling wines here at a Redwood Valley. Oh yeah those are nice. I think I had their
Verdejo. They have a Verdejo. And the surprise for you is that this will also be a
Cocoa Nona episode because I will be enjoying my sparkling wine out of the coconut.
Yeah, you always drink alone.
Oh, love it!
It's the antidote!
Warrior's drink.
Sorry if I ended our trip.
Wait a second. That's a loophole.
I win!
Look at me, Ben.
Look at me.
I win.
This is both a Coco Nono episode.
Play the fucking drop.
And a natural axiom champagne episode.
I almost forgot.
Another Coco Nono.
Credible!
Coco Nono is a hell of a combination.
Drink or be gone.
I think I've had enough already.
This is gonna help me.
Another Coco No No?
Bullshit.
Incredible!
Another Coco No No, Coco No No, Coco No No.
More...
Is it better?
Cardetti built Tilly Make-A-Pole on Twitter.
Does this count, or does Adam still owe everybody a Coco No No?
I want to know what the consensus is here
Did I step on what your sparkling wine was what is it this is a chateau Montmore
North Coast breath so I couldn't find much out about this wine
Yeah, I got it as like a gift over over the holidays and it's been sitting in my
in my fridge undrunk.
Oh, you can't have that.
And then when I went to look it up, like the only way you can buy this as part is
as part of like a corporate gift giving.
Like all of the websites that carry it are like, send a corporate gift.com or similar.
With gratitude from the Raytheon company.
To Benjamin R. Harrison.
They've always appreciated the subtle stuff that I pepper
into the show to encourage hawkishness among our listeners.
So I don't actually know if this is like a real bottle of wine
or if it's like a white label with like a fake name on it
or what?
Well, you're about to find out after it's been taken
to the dome.
Yeah.
Hey Ben, let's do the first one out of the bottle.
Oh, okay.
I'm into that.
Just do you.
Well, hi.
Oh.
Hard to drink out of the bottle.
All right, that is not quite cold enough.
I put it in the fridge like an hour ago.
It's a good thing I got this ice bucket.
I reminded you of our champagne episode, about 15 minutes before we recorded an episode
of the greatest discovery fits now.
So that didn't really have time.
Perfect timing.
It's all, so that didn't really have time. Perfect timing.
It's all I needed. If you put a little water in that ice bucket,
it'll cool off faster.
Oh, I should do that.
I record right next to a bathroom, you know that.
You can do the studio.
And you'll do that.
I'm gonna put a little water in there.
Do that thing.
Now that Adam has stepped away,
we can talk about how it's total fucking bullshit
that he's trying to get away with not doing the Coco No-No because of the
Coconut. It's just gonna make a bigger mess when I eventually spill it. Oh, you're back. Yeah, everything okay. Am I interrupting anything?
You don't want to spill that all over your computer. You know what I actually do. I want to put this thing out of its misery
It has been a big boomer. Yeah, you know, it's great as having
having wetness around your desk and nothing to clean it up. Mmm. Oh, a wooden desk even.
You live in a house with a puppy in it. It's just bad planning by you. Yeah, you should have
rags everywhere, man. I mean, they're all occupied with the puppy. Yeah puppy with an extremely
leaky pussy. Yeah broken dog pussy might be on the mend. Yeah that medicine seemed to
be working. Yeah both for her and for me. That's great. Yeah. That's great news. Right? It is.
Finally, some good news.
And you want to get into today's episode.
I think we chose the perfect episode
to drink an entire bottle of champagne too.
I think we did too.
I mean, we didn't choose the game of buttholes
the will of the caretaker.
It was the will of the caretaker what chose it
I trust the caretaker implicitly
Yeah
He seems like a pretty cool guy
It's Star Trek Voyager season 3 episode 22
Real Life
Reaper Cores
Unless you've got something a little bigger in your torpedo toots
I'm not turning around
BAR
It's so interesting when you see
what the 90s thought the future was gonna be like,
because what the 90s thought the future was gonna be like
is what looks like the 90s to us now.
You know, like if you stayed in this house as an AirBid B,
you'd walk in and be like,
oh, oh, 90s alert.
It's really weird how off-putting it is even before we're introduced to the characters. It kind of looks like it's a real house, right?
I am no stranger to a dramatic fireplace situation.
Yeah.
This is a very dramatic fireplace.
Your fireplace is a drama queen that we have no choice but to stand. Indeed. You know,
I think my sparkling wine had a reaction to the inside of the coconut. It got extremely foamy.
But it tastes good in the coconut. Oh good. I'm glad.
So we get the the ideal family, the extremely white ideal family presenting
themselves by the door for Doc Schmollis as he gets ready to head off to work.
This is a blonde June Cleaver type mom and Bell and Jeffrey the kids.
Jeffrey a teen who seems really clean cut and bell like a, like a maybe
11 or 12 year old girl. Everybody very enthusiastic, very, very complimentary of Papa as he walks
out the door. I mean, this is like, this is like the Nexus family. I got Nexus vibes from these kids right away.
It was like being inside joy.
I expected a bell to thank the doctor for the dolly.
At some point.
Yeah, very lukewarm at best open, I would say.
Because that's what we get.
You made a mention about the family being very white.
But I mean, how would it have felt if it weren't?
I mean, I think that the reason that they chose this is because TV has this,
is like couched in this very fifties idea of what a hyper-functional
domestic situation
looks like, which is extremely white centric
and paternalistic, which is also very hard to ignore
in this scene, like the wife lives to serve the dad energy
in this, which I just don't buy as being like a thing
that a doctor in the 24th century would program.
It's so interesting how little scrutiny
that receives by anyone because there are hundreds
of years past that at this moment in time.
And this is a choice.
That nonsense is centuries behind us.
It's like children of the corn crossed
with a Brady Bunch here.
Cross the steppered wives, maybe.
Ha, ha, ha.
Charlene, the wife wife has this very affected speech that I thought was a really
interesting choice. Wendy Shaw is like a voice actor.
So like you could kind of hear her voice acting quality and all of the scenes
she's in. Like she she adds a little bit extra right into her spin on the dialogue.
She adds a little bit extra into her spin on the dialogue.
A little more mustard on it. Yeah.
Yeah.
When we come back from the title sequence,
the Voyager is in a part of space
where they've been on long range calms
with a species called the Vostagy.
And they're expecting to be pulling up
at a Vostagy space station presently, but when they arrive,
they find that it has disappeared. I mean, they pull up to the station, all right. It just happens
to be in pieces. It looks like a free assembly version. Pieces that contain Boranite. Don't tell Species 10C. Oh wow.
Oh wow.
They are in a lot of danger.
They don't even know it.
No wonder this space station got trashed.
The 10C probably just came for it, right?
Yeah, I mean, and kind of a lot of people died
on this station.
It blew up recently and 60 Vosta guys died.
Pfft.
I've been mispronouncing it.
Fuck.
I watched this episode yesterday.
I already forgot what the species we never meet is called.
Oh, it's crucial that we have that information going forward.
Vasta guy.
Wow.
I'm looking at it on subtitles and the spelling is very different from what I put down in
my notes.
I think that's what I went wrong.
Yeah.
It's fine.
Kim picks up some particles and it isn't just like pieces of the Vostogas.
Yeah.
It's particles suggesting a wake, a wake from a ship that might be fleeing.
So they decide to run it down.
Yeah.
I have to figure out who did this.
Did your mind go to Borgs?
Because my mind went to Borgs.
I thought that this might be a run-in
that we were about to have happen.
My mind didn't go there because the B story was so an
agronistic to something serious and threatening.
I was like, they wouldn't dare.
They wouldn't dare tie this B story into a Borgs A story. So I mean, I would have been the most surprised if that's where it
went.
All right. You're smarter than I am.
I'm already halfway through my bottle and.
Whoa, what the fuck? I wanted to say the reason why is the hollowed out coconut is a
great vessel for power drinking.
It's got a large volume.
Yeah.
It pours into the hole very quickly.
And like the refills, you could pour three quarters of a bottle into this giant coconut.
So you've already done two coconuts to the dome?
Well, I mean, this is my second coconut,
and I'm looking at the bottle.
So I was inaccurate with my measurement,
obviously, I measured from the desk.
Well, we'll continue to get more and more inaccurate
as we go along today.
My drinking vessel is a regular champagne coupe.
My wife bought a set of them recently to pour a champagne tower for
her aunt and uncle who celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary with us.
How many towers do you...
This is my second coconut. How many glasses do you need to make a tower?
Oh, let's see. I think that there were, I think there's 12 in the set,
maybe it's like a, it's like three triangles.
So there's like a triangle with, I guess, six,
and then there's a triangle with,
full?
I don't remember how it went.
There's a bunch of them though.
There's quite a few left.
Who set it up?
Did she set it up? She set it up and she poured it.
And I was real nervous that it was going to go everywhere and it totally didn't.
It seems like the thing you want to do outside.
When the number of glasses, I think it was 12, takes more than a bottle of champagne.
So if you go down this path, Fair listener, get the set of champagne tower glasses, but
also get one of the big bottles of champagne, you know, what do they call it, a magnum?
Get a magnum.
Yeah, I recently got a couple of big bottles of wine, just betting that something good and
big was going to happen.
That's, that's Adam Adams version of the secret. Yeah, my secret's very
booze related. Hey, let's hope this Max Funt drive necessitates the opening of
your big wine. I mean, I want to be clear, it's definitely not like Nebuchadnezzar. It's like whatever, whatever doubled the bottle of wine is in one bottle.
Like, what is that even?
I think it's a magnum, right?
Yeah, it's a magnum.
Yeah.
I don't know where it goes after that.
Yeah.
But I want to find out.
Did you know that the doctor
goes in for checkup sometimes, Adam?
I think that's important.
Without the tinkering you've been doing
with your program lately,
I'd feel better giving you these little two-nops on a regular important. Without the tinkering you've been doing with your program lately, I feel better giving
you these little tune ups on a regular basis.
Like the doctor can't heal thyself. He's got to have BLT do it and BLT rocking a new
look hair wise. She's brought a braid into the into the equation. Is it like the post
to distract us from Kess's new hair, too. It's like everyone has new hair
Except the starting to experiment. I wonder if maybe like Chico Te announced on shipwide channel
Voyager
distance from
Federation space the captain and I have decided that hair and uniform code will be
subtly relaxed, going forward, due as you will.
Hey, BLT, braid does not equal talent for talent show.
I like the look of the braid though.
While they're wrapping up, I know that you do this every time
you see your general practitioner you invite them to have dinner with your family.
You know now that you know just about all there is to know about me, why don't we just
black out the bingo here and have you really know everything about me?
Now that you've put your finger up the hole that my testicle descended,
I'd be turned my head and cough.
Now that you've seen that hole, why don't you come up home?
I mean, Charlene, she can cook her ass off, so.
Yeah.
The LT would be loath to turn this down, and so the next scene is the I mean, Charlene, she can cook her ass off, so. Yeah.
BLT would be loath to turn this down, and so the next scene is the extremely weird dinner
at the extremely weird family home that Dr. Kenneth has made for himself.
His ditched Schmollison now he's going by Kenneth.
Yeah, I mean, this is the big reveal, right?
That's it by Kenneth. Yeah, I mean, this is the big reveal, right? That's it.
Kenneth.
He's considered so many names.
He thought he dabbled with Van Gogh
and other notable artists from history.
He arrived at Kenneth.
I've got to get that.
Latinum, put your Latinum where you're mouth is.
A greatest gen live show is something you don't want to miss.
Why?
Well, it's a great opportunity to see me and Ben in person,
but that's not all.
FODs from all over gather at these shows to cosplay,
to do pre- and post-show hangs, to make friends,
and share their embarrassment.
Hey, let's make a pretty great name for a tour.
Let's do it.
The Share Your Embarrassment Tour is coming in August 2023.
We've got a bunch of dates in a lot of great places.
Go to greatestgentour.com to get more info.
That's greatestgentour.com for dates and ticketing information
for the Share Your Embarrassment Tour.
I'm Jordan Morris.
And I'm Jesse Thorne.
On Jordan Jesse Go, we make pure, delightful nonsense.
We were open awesome guests and bring them down to our level.
We get stupid with Judy Greer.
My friend Molly and I call it having the spaceweirds.
Pat Naswalt.
Could I get a Balrog burger and some air-gorn fries?
Thank you.
And Kumail Nanjiani.
I've come back with cat toothbrushes,
which is impossible to use.
Come get stupider with us at MaximumFun.org.
Look, your podcast apps are already open,
just pull it out, give Jordan Jesse Goatry.
Being smart is hard, be dumb instead.
Whoa, rats, hey, hey, oh, I'm about to count you in line.
These clouds are really freaking me out.
I hate having to stand in line and boy, what do I?
These giraffes do not smell good.
No, they do not, and they've such short neck.
But I'm hearing we need to get on this off.
Gotta get on the art.
It is about terrain,
gotta spout to destroy humanity.
Hey, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Are you Noah?
Yeah, I know we look like humans.
We're actually, we're podcasters.
We are podcasters, so it's different.
Have you heard of Ono Ross and Carrie?
We investigate spirituality, claims of the paranormal, stuff like that.
And you have a boat and say the world's gonna end, so same wipe something for us to check out.
We would love to be on the boat.
We came to by two.
What do you think?
Ono Ross and Carrie, available on MaximumFun.org.
I love the physical acting that Roxanne Dawson does in this scene.
Like everyone at the Dinder Party is kind of engaged physically, except for her who is
recoiling from the table.
Yeah, it's a lot of fun.
She does not really have a poker face for this is gross and weird.
The actor who plays Charlene is really a built-hilly all-star because she's been an air wolf,
a team, and McGiver.
Wow, right?
That's a real triple threat to Bill Tilly, the card daddy.
That's the kind of shit that gets you onto a hollow card, right?
She's also like a main voice character in American Dad.
And I look this up over under 15 seasons.
How many seasons do you think American Dad has been on TV?
Ooh, okay.
American Dad has it been more than 15 seasons. I mean, just
that you're asking the question makes me think it's over. Oh, buddy, it's way over.
19 seasons, 328 episodes of American dad. Can you believe that? Oh, my God. I can't believe it.
That's, I mean, it's fewer episodes
than there are of the greatest generation.
Yeah.
Yeah, but she's a main character on that show.
Which, wow, does she play the mom?
Yeah, she does.
But like, you can hear that.
You can hear that quality of her.
I took a course in Continental cuisine
so I could replicate interesting meals for Kenneth.
Yeah, TV Mom is, she's not playing a real mom.
She's playing a TV mom and that's what's creeping BLT out.
Exactly.
BLT finally freezes the program out of frustration, which is like a move at a
dinner party I wish I wish I could do.
Well, she's no good at middling at them.
That's the problem.
She's she's been seated at the wrong part of the table.
You are the point, Gardis. You're distributing the ball.
You think she needs a better middle? Is that? Is that what's happening here?
This is bad party throwing. Nothing BLT did. It's just that she's no good at middling.
That was one of the best parts of the most recent season of curb was that concept.
Yeah, that was fucking incredible.
BLT really emphasizes this point for the doc.
Who should know this by now?
Families are messy.
And what you've created here is like a clean room family.
This is gross.
This isn't how families work.
Yeah.
And then BLT offers to tweak the program for him. And the dog is like,
that sounds great. She's going to sprinkle some some realism into his design for
a program. But in the meantime, she does not like and she is leaving.
You're not going to learn anything from being with these lollipops.
I've never liked BLT more than this. This is a great move.
Hey, did you remember there was an A story
of some seriousness?
Loosely, why don't we go back up to the bridge
and see what's going on with them, Adam?
So there is a subspace disruption happening
and I'm really worried about where BLT is
at this exact moment, to be honest.
Yeah.
Because you want her involved, I think.
Up on the bridge there, like, chasing spacebed holes, and they catch a really angry one.
And they, like, radio down to engineering, and BLT is there.
Yeah. I love how you only hear her and you don't see her.
And she's like, uh, okay.
So either this is later or she just like went directly to engineering after dinner.
I wonder how much of this is just not having coverage.
Like you don't know until the edit where your coverage is lacking.
I think that you can make time pass by cutting to an exterior of the ship, though.
Yeah, yeah.
And they didn't do that. I like to do exterior of the ship, though. Yeah, yeah. You really can't. They didn't do that.
I like to do that in any argument at home.
Like, you cut to the exterior.
If I'm losing the argument, I just want to cut
to the exterior.
Yeah, that's a, that is not gone well traditionally.
In my own words.
It doesn't work. It works so much better on TV than it doesn't real life.
Every time I try to cut to the exterior in my relationship,
I unintentionally cut to the wide shot.
Oh no.
Be careful out there.
Yeah.
This, uh, this thing is really dropping bangers on the ship.
I mean, it's some kind of, I don't know.
Do you think it's some kind of dark matter anomaly?
Something that somebody would use to collect Boronite, maybe?
Hey bird's have got it!
What does this thing waaard?
Uh, uh, uh, what does this thing waaard?
D M A! I'm getting hammered pretty fast. What's this thing, Ward? What's this thing, Ward? D, M, A.
I'm getting hammered pretty fast.
Wow.
I'm gonna need...
How many coconuts have you taken to the dome at this point?
I mean, I'm not draining them all the way
and I'm not filling them all the way.
So it's hard to tell.
Hard to keep track.
Yeah.
But it's getting colder, which is good.
Your water and the ice bucket
proposal was a good one. It makes a big difference. So a big banger that drops on the ship,
but when the shaking stops, it's not a, you know, they're not like completely torn up or anything.
And they start to do some science on what this thing was,
and it was very energy dense, in fact.
There's a, maybe some case to be made for getting,
getting a load of these eddies a little closer,
harnessing what makes these eddies do what they do.
I think, here's the moment where Chico Tei is preoccupy,
preoccupy...
This is the scene where I noticed that Chico Tei was really preoccupied with the idea of replicator rations.
And it carries through the entire episode. Because Jane was like, I think we could hook some jumper cables up to this thing and get
some valuable energy.
There's coffee in that phenomenon none of us has ever heard of before, much less experienced.
On a purely scientific level, I think we owe it to ourselves to investigate.
And Jacote is like, cool, because I'm all out of replicated rations and I am really
craving lasagna
Sounds great if they can anticipate the next one they might be able to scoop some of this stuff up
So that's a pretty exciting idea. This thing is clearly dangerous
It seems like it came close to destroying them, but lasagna seems worth it there out here out here for a long time. They got to get that energy.
Adam. Also, like have you ever had a really good corner piece of lasagna?
God damn fucking worth it. God, that's good. Hey,
and listen, when you're building it on the molecular level,
you can make it like corner piece all the way around.
I realized we were alike in a very specific way not long ago when you mentioned that you
were at an Airbnb with your lovely wife and you made a lasagna.
Yeah.
I don't know if I told you this at the time.
Lasagna at Airbnb is like, it's such a great move.
You do that on night one.
It's nice.
You're feeding yourself the entire trip. It's so good. It's hot or cold.
I might have a little lasagna cut up on my salad for lunch today.
God. It's the best. Yeah. It's a good, it's a good move. Listen, if you learned anything from the
greatest generation today, today you learn, put a little water in your ice bucket, and you learn, make some lasagna when you check in for your Airbnb.
Lasagna Night One.
It works for VRBI also.
Yeah, in either case.
Doc Schmollis, Adam, do you remember the thirst this beast started going?
Oh, it took me, like we edited out the gap where I was just trying to find myself in the show.
Yeah, there is a beast story and it's in 6B.
Yeah, the doc explains to Cass like,
yeah, so after the other night's disastrous dinner,
BLT helped out and this is now one of those
like open-ended games that you can't possibly win.
It's like the no-men's sky of having a family.
Where there are little like storylines that you can find
her way into, but, you know, some of the fun is just, Hey,
like you could kind of do whatever you want in this environment.
Hey, Doc, are you ready for puberty and a realistic wife?
Buckle up.
And the doc walks into this ball-kicking machine.
Like he doesn't know it's there.
It's like that, you know when you see footage
of camp at a football team and there's like,
there's like a tunnel of pipes that you have to run through
and the pipes are just hitting you.
Yeah.
This is the equivalent of that,
but all the pipes are just aimed at your junk.
It's like a subway turn style
that is like 30 feet long. And it's just, but in many ways, it is the 80s TV family
stereotype counterpoint to the 50s TV stereotype. Yeah. And in that way, it is also kind of ugly in its own way. Yeah, like the wife is like
is like a frazzled career woman who is like, often, you know, do some things so she can't cook
dinner tonight and it's his night to cook. What a great indignity for a man to suffer. Yeah,
but she's got to speak at the Bolly and Embassy at him. But the Bolly
and Embassy isn't going to speak it itself. I'm doing a haircut demonstration at the
Bolly and Embassy. Can't be late for that. Have you seen a Bolly and they don't know, they
don't know from here. How do you think they get all those jobs? This fucking music from
Jeffery's room is deafening,
and then they finally reveal Jeffery,
and he's a fucking clean open.
Yeah.
Klingonimo.
He's hanging out with undesirable kids from the neighborhood.
This reveal of those kids is the best part of this episode,
I think.
It's very funny.
Because the door opens and Largan Kothkoth
introduce themselves.
And they are cool as hell.
Holy shit they are cool.
I can't imagine a parent not wanting their kid to hang out with some cools like this.
Oh man, I mean it's not just that Bell is just screaming her little ass off at the
dog about some fucking mallet she's missing.
I don't understand the mallet thing at all other than she's missing and it's very upsetting.
This scene is very effective like the combination of the dissonant clang on music and the screaming kids and the things pulling him in a million different directions.
It felt like the scene lasted for 18 years.
Larkin' coca-author why I always hung out at other people's houses. Like, had my friends.
And I really had friends over to mine.
Yeah, even while your parents asking questions.
We played with knives over at my friend's house.
Hahaha.
Custard to a black coffee, one, fake it, fake it, fake it yourself.
Bag in the mess hall and equally disturbing scene unfolds where Paris is complaining about the casserole streak there on.
I like a food streak. I am, let me just say this, like I'm in a household of two, and some meals,
you need to make large format. Like that's just how it is. Like LaZonya being a great example.
Exactly. And what happens when you make a large format dinner?
You have the leftovers, but let me tell you something Ben.
My wife hates leftovers. I don't want her to hear this.
She doesn't like leftovers of any kind.
My wife is exactly the same.
She cannot be persuaded to eat leftovers.
What the hell?
I eat 100% of them.
I also eat 100% of the leftovers.
Are we going to destroy the ship by whispering this much?
I'm worried right now for the ship's sake.
I had to train myself to enjoy a chicken breast cut up
on a Caesar salad because if I roast a chicken,
I'll have a thigh and a drum.
My wife will have the breast.
And then we have a thigh and a drum
and a breast left over.
And so the only way to get through that
is if I get through it.
And it's like, I guess I'll have a chicken Caesar
with white meat chicken on it, because-
I am eating insane meals for lunch the day after I make large format.
Yeah, yeah, man.
We live a very similar lifestyle in that respect.
So Paris is complaining about the three meals in a row of casserole.
And when I see him, I'm like, yeah, like that's me.
Like I'm having the casserole three meals in a row because I have to.
No.
Neal looks just cooking for like 150 though.
Like he should be able to like nail the casserole math a little bit better.
Paris is fucked out of his replicator rations in a way that Shikote has kind of revealed
he is as well.
How are they doing this?
I would like a C story where we figure out like where these replic
were these
what you're trying to say this.
What you're trying to say, Adam, is where the replicator rations are.
And yes, we had the one where they were gambling with the replicator rations.
People lost them.
I would like to know how many rations you get and what the, is it just you can replicate
one thing?
Can you replicate only T. Earl Greyhotter?
Could you say I want a buff bourgignon
with a malbec to go with it?
This is a great question.
Like, could I just get a single patty hamburger
for one replicated ration?
And then if I want a second patty, it's two.
Like, what is the exchange rate on the rations?
Yeah, how do you, and yeah, like,
and would like a thick cut rib-eye steak
cost more rations than a burger?
I want to know all of this.
Why doesn't Star Trek know what is interesting?
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
I want to know that.
Paris gets a fucking ladle of the slap on his tray.
He really gets shit on a shingle in this scene.
And then he sees BLT sitting alone.
And so he goes and sits with her and grabs Rikindal.
I don't know, man.
I don't think you can just grab someone's Kindle like he does.
It sees that she's reading a Klingon romance novel.
A Kabadis Ripper, if you will.
God, that's so perfect.
A more perfect word has never been said on this show. Yeah. Paris is in full seduction mode here.
And I was a little bit shocked at how game she was until I remembered that that was sort
of where we left things with B.A.T. and Paris.
Like, she's game because she said she'd be game.
She is actively interested and now they are like doing the dance with each other.
Like she's kicking game to him just as much as he is to her.
He wants to grab that fucking braid.
Yeah.
The braid which appears and disappears,
seen to seen in a way that really doesn't make sense to me.
I thought at first it was a professional braid
and a casual braid at different times, but there is no sense.
No braid continuity.
I heard she kind of lost interest in Paris
when she found out he didn't have replicator rations,
though, which is like, ah, come on.
Like, love him for who he is,
not how much rations he has, you know?
Is that a lot?
Do you think you would be a ration hoarder or a ration spender?
Just generally.
Like, I'll say this, like as a degenerate gambler that I am, I feel like I'd spend those
fucking rations.
That's not so good.
I'd get something crazy.
I'd get like a three tier German chocolate cake on day one.
Like first in the month, when I get those rations, I'm going to be out of them by the third day.
Right. You're in the money until you're not. Yeah. Yeah. And then you're just like,
got it. I got to tighten my ration belt a little bit. Got to eat shit on a shingle. Look, I know you guys don't understand
party sub as as what to use rations for, but I got sub for the rest of the month. Yeah, yeah.
It's pretty fun to take that out of the replicator too, because you just kind of have to like hold
the end of it and walk back slowly as it replicates. You get that Dutch crunch on that bread. Holy shit. Hey, Harry, can you come grab the
middle of my sandwich as I continue to pull it from the replicator? You know what would
be great is like if you keep feeding rations into the machine until you run out, I need
to just keep pulling the party stuff out. You've got sub like going down the length of the hallway.
Like the replicated are only makes heel when you're out of rations.
That would be, that would be a great episode, just like a, a totally light
episode of Star Trek Voyager where everybody's like getting in on it.
Like, ah, at your rations, we're making the biggest sub.
You're not going to believe it when we get back to the a quad.
You know how to shoot this too.
You set up the camera from POV inside the replicator and you just like,
have it fed through.
Can we pitch this as a comic to IDW?
This is a lower deck episode.
Like, there you go.
Absolutely do this.
I wish I still, I wish my buddy was still in that writer's room.
I got to, I got to finish my spec for lower decks, which is very Kevin centric
and almost no sandwich is in it.
But I think what I could do for a B story is work on the replicator thing.
There you go.
Sandwich B story, Kevin A story.
Get ready, Mike McMahon.
Get ready to receive something on your doorstep
that you immediately throw away.
I cannot read unsolicited material.
Yeah, as you should.
There are three things to remember about the instantion of cat.
Get through, get through, get through, get your shirt get through it, get through it, get through it.
So as they're having this conversation, the uh oh, I get a phone over, I got a phone
over. We have now killed the champagne in the, Wow. In the coconut.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Champagne drips are on my wrist rest.
I really feel like the drunk-assowed shoe
is on the other foot today on him
because I'm like,
you know what I do?
A little over halfway into my bottle here.
You know what I really don't like?
The thing that hurts me the most,
other people's disappointment in me.
And I could hear how disappointed you were
for a number of episodes.
When you didn't do the coconut no.
Yeah, that's not saying.
So now you're falling back.
I've over-corrected this is what I've done.
What are you gonna do?
I mean, you're out of wine, right?
So what are you gonna do when you empty that coconut?
I don't know.
We'll see.
As Paris and BLT are having this conversation,
a banger drops and they can actually see the eddie
out the window that is causing this banger.
So Paris rushes up to the bridge
and they're trying to get in close they they would like to collect this energy
am i making any sense here they should a probe
or maybe a boi
into the uh...
howl
and when
warning boys
and emergency police
a warning boy
to kote cannot let go of the idea of gathering its energy though. Yeah, I know this is dangerous and the ship is getting the rumblies
but I mean all I'm seeing out on the view screen is nachos and the potential for nachos or yeah
Or a lasagna or a party sub right is lasagna a good word like as a as a drunk test like I feel if... It's a shibbolit for how drunk you are.
I feel like if I were ever pulled over and that's the test they should administer.
Sir, I don't need you to step out of the car.
I just need you to tell me about the baked Italian dish with the layers of pasta and
the sauce.
Can you just tell me what that's called?
La sanya pizza, sa, la sanya, sa, sa.
Sir, I'm sorry.
The Eddie eventually dissipates and the probe is gone.
Along with BLT's hair braid.
Yeah.
Did the bangers rock the braid out of her hair?
This is a question I had because we don't get
the establishing shot of BLT before the bangers,
but afterward that braid is not there.
If this was discovery, she would have like flashbeamed from the mess hall right up to the bridge,
and she wouldn't have had time to take the braid out, but this is a voyager. She would have had
to walk down a hall, get in a turbo lift, take a ride up to the bridge. I think she had time to undo the braid and comb her hair out.
I mean, we know that there's a finite amount of torpedoes here,
but I would argue that there's just as finite an amount of probes.
And when this thing blinks away and takes the probe with it,
the frustration is apparent with everyone. But they're like, so maybe we could modify the Bessard collectors to gather plasma particles
from these things, except for, we're like pretty far away from these things and we're
getting really serious bangers dropped on us and the amount of energy that's being used
by the ship could corrupt those plasma particles
if we try and take the entire ship in there.
It's gonna screw up your lasagna.
But maybe we could take a shuttle in there.
Yeah.
Hey, guess who's a great shuttle pilot
who has not so recently fucked up a shuttle mission?
Hey, Paris, try to fly the warp speed limit this time.
Okay, buddy. He volunteers, Bill, he is like the warp speed limit this time.
Okay, buddy.
He volunteers.
Bilti is like, but you'll be irradiating yourself.
He realized that and he's like, I don't need these sperm
for anything.
Yeah, in six Bay, he goes to enoculate himself
against the radiation.
And the doc is like, you're just like my fucking kids.
He completely goes off on what Paris must have been like as a kid.
I can only imagine what you must have put your parents through.
Paris is like, well, I did get in a lot of trouble in the academy.
And also, I was thrown in prison,
so unless your kids have gone there.
Yeah, maybe they're not as far down the path
of bad decisions as I was.
Look, Doc, your kids haven't been hanging around
with Klingons, have they?
Klingon teenagers, specifically?
I've been hanging out with half Klingon adults
and it can get a little hectic.
Yeah, the doc goes back home and calls a family meeting where he suggests a new scheduling
system for the family.
This is an atrocity of a moment.
This is like...
Did you ever have family meetings when you were a kid?
No, but like the idea of impressing upon a group, the idea of structure, I mean that's
expert Shimoda all the way.
It's like, this is us deciding we need to use a calendar
for things.
And then Wendy going, you guys are idiots.
You need a spreadsheet and a calendar.
The first week that Wendy was here at the corporation,
she basically spent the entire week
unfucking our calendar and building a production schedule.
It was great.
It was amazing.
It's like she's hurting cats and we're the cats.
It was a family meeting that I was happy to be a part of.
Everyone is there except Jeffrey who slept way in
and that's just a warning sign for any teen.
You can't have a teen sleep in, clearly.
And while the doctor is presenting his new rules and schedules to everyone, it's made
pretty clear that he's not sacrificing anything on his end.
And the whole no-klingon friends rule is really racist.
You could only hear yourselves.
Yeah, it's fucked up.
I don't know why Kenneth has to treat Charlene like she's a second-class citizen also.
Yeah.
Like, when he makes her stand up and undermines her in front of their children.
Charlene has that vibe where she goes to work
and then like after work has some drinks,
she doesn't tell her husband about
and like sort of takes out the clip in her hair
and shakes it out and like you can tell,
she's a lot of fun.
Yeah.
And she's just not permitted to fly
like the bird that she is.
Her light is being hidden under the Kenneth bushel.
Yeah.
You fucked up, Doc Dad.
You fucked up big time.
But Belle is there to kind of redeem him.
This was such a strange scene
because the doc is just getting clobbered in the nuts,
like from all directions.
Deservedly so.
Yeah, and as soon as everyone leaves,
Belle is like, you're the best dad ever.
I love you.
I knew you're trying,
leaves bell is like you the best dad ever.
I love you. I knew you're trying.
Except for, except for her participation in parisi squares, a,
sport we know to be extremely dangerous from reputation alone.
Right.
Makes me think that maybe he isn't such a great parent.
Doc dad's just happy to get any affection from anywhere at this point.
Seriously.
Back in the A storyline, Tom meat Eddie.
Tom Paris flying his shuttlecraft
into one of these spatial eddies.
And he's gonna head for that particle wave,
collect some of those sweet, sweet energies.
He's starting to get space sick
because he thinks French toast was not a good start to his day.
Did Nielix make that or did he like come into some replicator rations?
That's what I'm saying.
Like, French toast sounds amazing compared to the fucking slap that was put on a shingle
earlier.
Yeah.
Do you think the reason he volunteered for the mission was because when you volunteer
for missions like this, you get a good last meal.
Quote unquote.
I wonder if that's how you get hazard pay
in the form of extra rations.
I love this idea.
Like if I've spent all of my replicated rations
at the beginning of the month, I'm volunteering
for all of the worst missions.
French toast, man.
But the thing about French toast is that it burns super fast
and you can be hungry by 10 a.m.
It's filling in a quick way.
Like you start consuming it and you're full quickly
and then you're hungry again quickly.
I like my alternate French toast.
Like have you ever made banana bread French toast?
Holy shit.
That's so good.
Wow.
Like, you can make, you can French toast almost anything bread related.
There's a termination.
With some lemon banana cake in the fridge, should I try to French toast that?
You can French toast cake, Ben.
And I want you to try it. It's good. Wow. Anything of a red-like
structure you can French toast. So let's just go over what we've learned today
on the show. You can cool a bottle of wine more quickly if you put some water
in the ice bucket. It foams up if you pour sparkling wine into a coconut.
Every time. Every time. Make lasagna the first night
when you check in dear vacation rental.
Yes.
And then the next morning,
make French toast out of that lasagna.
Yeah.
Ha ha ha ha.
Boy, here's what I'm gonna say.
I don't think that'd be bad.
You cut us, you get a dense slice of lasagna
and you, and you egg it up, like you flour and egg it, that's gonna be good.
That's sort of like a cheesy pasta thing.
That's like the big night meal. That's like tempano, you flour and egg it.
Save this one for a little bit.
That's the only temp, I'm ever gonna make. I do it, I do it, I do it. I do it, I do it, I do it, I do it, I do it, I do it, I do it, I do it, I do it, I do it, I do it.
Paris is going into this eddy and it's not looking great.
They want to beam him out because he's lost control of the shuttle, but the bangers have
been bad enough that transporters are offline and they can't get them
and he goes in and he disappears but then
they're sort of able to hear that there's
something on the radio.
Calibrate with native bands because
you can't even get a level help.
Ensign Kim is able to clean it up.
And you hear me now.
Ensign Kim is able to clean it up and
they are actually talking to Tom Paris
like beyond beyond the grave
almost.
Tom are you some kind of lizard person.
Paris is like no, I kept it under the speed limit.
Yeah.
I'm okay.
BLT takes the yellow ribbon out of her braid, like very meticulously. Also.
It looks like he's in the not so bad lands.
That's perfect.
Yeah.
I like it.
It's beautiful.
It's beautiful.
Why would he ever want to leave?
You don't need replicator rations in there.
They should have sent a poet.
Hey, is it work around to the replicator ration thing,
the shuttle mission? Because the shuttle to the replicator ration thing, the shuttle mission?
Because the shuttle has a replicator inside. It does, and it's got its own power source.
That's what I'm saying. I wonder if that's what Paris is onto.
He comes back and they're like, did you replicate like hundreds of meals while you were on?
Dude, where are they? Paris, you look... Like, I know you were gone for like two days, but you are a fucking thick king right now. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha XL Paris is like I would love that for the entire series like from here on out.
He's got a great big birdie.
In six Bay the doc is we're going two hours tonight, aren't we?
Yeah, this is going to be a long one.
I feel bad for whoever catches this at it and I think that that's actually me
Wow
In the six bay the doc is
Center-fuging some samples and just just doing like the silent face acting of a very frustrated father and
face acting of a very frustrated father and Kess walks in and her cat suit and it's like, hey, what's eating you, Kenneth? And he's like, please, please don't call me that.
That is my hollow name. That is for there. Yeah. They're calling me my screen name in real life.
It's just weird, you know. When Kess steps in to work with the centrifuge,
When Kess steps in to work with the centrifuge, I got so scared.
Because we've had a lifetime of on-screen experience
watching centrifuges explode on doctors.
Everybody can remember where they were
when the guy broke his glove and outbreak
because he reached into the centrifuge.
Yeah, yeah, that was my 9-11.
That was my Vietnam, you know, like, fucking egg.
I never came home from that movie.
Part of my soul is still at the Regal Issaquan 9 movie theater.
Yeah, yeah, mine's at the United Artists' Emoryville 10.
Yeah.
I found that to get through outbreak, you have to become outbreak.
Apparently, I'll go to the movies here. The doc kind of confesses to Kess that he has not become
famed, you know, in order to get through family, you have to become family and he has not become
family. Yeah. Kess is like, you're a real family man, right? And the doctor's like, I'm not a familyman. I'm avoiding them by staying at work late.
Cass is like, you should go home. You should go home to that hollow family and not leave them
hanging. You can't just throw yourself into work and ignore the problem and hope it'll go away.
extremely long crickets section here.
As you and I sit in our offices at 5.30 p.m.
Him going home has the effect of him walking into the simulation early.
And Jeffrey is, uh, is there with his bad friends who brought a knife.
They're not that bad.
I mean, this seems cool,
but no son of mine is gonna be a warrior.
Wow, wow, Ben.
I don't know, dude.
Largan co-cath.
Largan, cacath.
We don't know enough about them to judge them,
but we do know that the doc hates that they're hanging out with Jeffrey.
Am I interrupting something?
And nothing makes a hang cooler than a daddy wants to chill.
And what's going on here seems pretty pervy, doesn't it?
So if the doc sits in front of the giant fireplace and he's like, what's up fellow teenagers?
Yeah. Is that a dick tag knife?
Yeah.
It's a confusing knife because they say it's a certain knife.
Duked hog knife is an important part of our culture.
And the duck knows it's a different kind of knife
of what they say.
They fly.
And I believe this is actually a dagger of cutlunch.
This is not a Klingon bar mitzvah knife.
No, it's Klingon gang initiation knife.
Which I love that there's two kinds of knives for that.
Klingon cult knife.
Do you think there's a drawer in Polana's room that has all the different types of knives?
Or is she non-observant?
I would love that.
I want to see all the knives all the
knives all at once I mean some people that aren't observant still have all the
stuff you know sure yeah the doc has an after-school special moment with his
son after kicking out the klingons he's like look man I know what that knife was
for it's for like doing a gang initiation man. You can't be doing that. You're my son. Jeffrey. And Jeffrey is like, fuck you dad.
You're talking to me like I'm a human, but I want you to address me like a
Klingon because that's how I identify. And he goes so far as to call his own
dad a patock. Yeah. Oh, that's fucking rough. And then like on social media, Jeffrey just spends a day
being the main character because it's like, wow, Jeffrey,
you just think you can appropriate somebody else's culture
and use their slurs against your own father
and people are just gonna be cool with that.
I,
you just can't throw a pataka round on Twitter. Yeah.
Even if it's a bit, it is not good.
It does not work, but this all gets like kind of pushed
into the deep rear view very suddenly
when Charlene calls up with some bad news about Bell and her big
Perisi Squares tournament. She caught one in Perisi Squares and bonked her
noggin and she is in the hospital. A bunch has been made this episode of Bell
sort of fighting above her weight class in Perisi squares. Yeah, she's good enough to be on the A team, right?
I just think it's messed up that Kyle Reiker was the one
that did like, she's playing Parisi squares
up to like the seniors level.
And Kyle Reiker just fucking destroyed her.
You can never get used to the cyclist factor or to losing has those pre fucked up.
Yeah.
He plays all the games that Kyle Riker.
He's a man who really has a lot of violence that he needs to get out through constructive
sporting opportunities.
In the hospital, the doc that we know has been teaming up with Dr. Finley, a doctor we don't meet to play Wack a hemorrhage
Yeah, with the daughter and it's a game they can't win his hands
When moving faster than I could see trying to stay ahead of each breakdown
I mean and we've seen this moment from the doc before in the Coda episode. The doc just fills the room with poison gas and
Utanizes his daughter because that's Ellie knows
Yeah, that's how you solve a problem when you're a holographic doctor
She is not expected to recover and he has to explain this to
Charlene who is not in the
Not in the bargaining or the acceptance phase of grief. Neither of
mine. Where are you in your bottle, Ben? Oh, fuck, man. I'm done. You're done? Yeah. I've
got at least two coupes left and I just filled a coup up. So I guess I guess three by that
count. That's cool, is hell. You're doing great. It's not a competition.
That's not?
Yeah.
No we're good.
Fuck, I thought it was a competition that I was losing.
I do really feel some certainty about the coconut being
the perfect vessel for champagne. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I never would have guessed that before this episode.
If you had suggested it to me before this episode, I would have laughed in your face.
Yeah.
Well, Adam, if you want this to really count for your cocoa, no, no, I think you probably
need to get a splash of rum in that coconut to finish the episode out.
Do you have no idea what's waiting for me upstairs if I did that. If you just like wobble up there, before rum into a coconut, then wobble back down.
You know what, here's who you're proposing.
I need to have an office bottle.
I need to have a studio bottle, Ben, and I don't.
You need to have one of these.
God damn it and
For the viewers at home you just you wobbled a bottle into frame of what what was that that was a
Kachassa that I keep in here. I also have a bequee
Yeah, yeah, like the like madman would never show Don Draper opening up a desk drawer and it's
fucking Kashasa.
And I have some DOS artes tequila.
Oh yeah, you've got the dessert tequila.
I've got three office bottles.
Hey, you know what, you do need to go upstairs and get.
I need the office bottle.
You need to get an office bottle and you need to get an office brood, my friend.
Oh fuck. I have an unopened packet of an office brod, my friend. Oh fuck.
I have an unopened packet of brod right here, I'm gonna take it.
Dude, office bottle is so crucial and I don't understand why I don't have that.
You gotta get it, not for all the time. It's just for like if you're pulling a late one, you want a little sip?
I've worked so many fucking bullshit corporate jobs
Where that wasn't permitted and I finally have a great job
Yeah at home and I'll give myself the office bottle. Hey man. Be the boss that you wish you know myself the office couch that you and the viewers at home can seem behind me? I'm fucking smashed, man. Ha ha ha. I'm gonna put it in your mouth. I'll be here and do it.
Do it.
Do it.
Do it.
Do it.
Do it.
Do it.
Do it.
The doc explains to his wife that this is a pretty hopeless situation.
She stamps out to go talk to the other doctor.
She wants to get a second opinion. And then Kenneth and Bell have a little conversation
about what's going on with her.
And boy, this is a tough scene, man.
The character of Bell is really interesting to me,
because she is so cartoonishly obnoxiously
prim and cutesy at the beginning.
It's a great magic trick this episode plays, and like introducing her that way, and then
killing her at the end in this way specifically.
And that like somehow they humanized her without you noticing in between those two moments.
And when he has to like, muster the courage to tell her what is going to happen.
If fucking, it is so brutal, man.
Yeah.
It's so hard.
It was like, misty as hell watching this on,
sitting in my office watching this on the computer screen.
Yeah.
Dabbing it at the corner of my eyes.
Yeah, the doc makes a great decision, though.
He's like, all right, I'm done with this.
Instead of a rage quit, he'd despair quits. Yeah. I'm never gonna gather all these herbs.
He just turns it off. Next day in 6 Bay, Cass asks him, so how's your cool video game going?
Are you enjoying it?
And he said, I won, I won family.
Yeah, everything's fine.
I saved out and I'm done with that game.
I'm going to start a new game.
Maybe that's a family that you can meet next time.
It's not a very satisfying answer to Kess,
but the doc feels it would be a waste of time.
And it is clear
when she walks out that this is really affecting him, like he is, is really feeling shitty
about the way that went down.
Back in the bridge band, there is an A story.
What?
I know. base and subspace. What I'm trying to say is if space is a body and that body has bent over to pick something
up, Paris's shuttle is in the abdomen where it's all scrunched up. Pairs is also in the area that is able to most watch the astral babies being born.
It's like being Eddie Melchovitch in here.
There's nothing but eddies.
Melchovitch, Melchovitch, Melchovitch.
So he's going to try and get back out into normal space by going through one of these
things.
But it's going to involve him getting a lot of bangers
dropped on the shuttle, and the voyage
we're getting a lot of bangers dropped on.
It's gonna be bad.
Very bad, but also good.
He's calling for a voyager to like pull back,
like get out of here.
Yeah, you're gonna wanna be around for this
because when I come out, you're gonna be too close.
And on the bridge, like we are completely confused
by BLT's braid continuity at this point.
Like no sense is made of it.
You know, it'll cut away from her and cut back
and the braid will have disappeared.
Yeah.
And then it'll reappear in the next shot.
This is what I was preoccupied with.
Like, this is even real?
The braid will tell us.
This is just some cue fantasy.
I think they really need to think about this, right?
Because you introduce a new hairstyle into an episode,
it makes you rethink what reality has been.
Wow.
Right?
Boy, no wonder you don't like Star Trek Discovery.
So the Equal Martin Green changes hairstyles every season.
I love Snake-Worm Martin Green, and that is what I will say.
At some point, Paris gets knocked across the shuttlecraft and bangs his head against the wall.
Smoke starts to fill the space up.
He's got blood running out of his nose.
These bangers are really intense, and they sort of beam him.
I guess they beam the whole shuttle aboard.
Yeah, we do that thing where we see a big piece of space debris heading for the shuttle that
Paris is in, and then we cut away before we see it impact.
But he's fine.
They beam him back aboard and the shuttle, they didn't lose the shuttle, which is great.
They beam the shuttle aboard and then they beam him from the lose the shuttle, which is great. They beam the shuttle aboard
and then they beam him from the shuttle to six bay.
It's just a concussion, those don't matter.
That, I mean, like, there's like been sort of
a long brewing CTE scandal in Starfleet,
but Starfleet has somehow kind of avoided
any accountability for that.
You know, Tom Paris, we are going to assume that your concussion is fine, but until you die
and we're able to slice your brain into little pieces, we won't really know what the effects
are.
So we have brought Paris into Six Bay, and this brings the A story, the B story into the
same room.
Paris asks, just sit there and you listen.
Paris is like kind of catching it from the doctor again, who's saying, like, oh, you never think about like the consequences of your actions, only what seems fun and
cool with your click on friends and your knives.
Just blast in a way.
You're just shooting ropes and hollow people.
You don't know what it's like to be a real parent.
Like the doc is.
And Paris is gonna take a back from this.
Yeah, he's like, hey, you remember a while ago
when you made yourself have a disease
just so you could see what that was like.
Families a lot like that.
You don't get to pick what disease and how serious and You don't get to pick what disease and how serious,
and you don't get to pick what family and how serious.
Look, man.
Tom Perez says, family is a disease, and I'm the cure.
And then he like brings a shotgun up into frame and cocks it.
I guess we all learned a lesson today.
Perez is like, look, the family's mostly to feel bad. That's what it is. Like, if
you think you could just avoid it by turning off the holodeck or whatever, that's not going
to do it. That's not going to give you the enrichment that you desire. Here's what goes
on said this entire episode is, what is the doc doing? What does the doc want? Does the doc want to be more of a human being the way Dated did?
Because if he does, like that's how you get there.
You get there by having a family that can found you and is frustrating and dies.
And that's what Paris is saying is like, look man, you can bail out of this Haledic program
and you're going to be fine.
You're clearly gonna be okay
But if what you're after is like the full spectrum of human experience
You really need like every possible nut to be caved in from this experience and that involves going back to the Halidic and
Ushering your daughter into the afterlife. It is so interesting that Paris, as a character, gets used like,
Yeah, why is Paris this person in this?
In the, but like, this happens with him occasionally, where he like occasionally will
drop a pearl of wisdom like this.
Yeah.
And then like the entire rest of the time is just like Lieutenant fuck boy.
It's like amazing. Like that it works, you know?
Like he says it in a way that is like authentic
to the character that they've built of,
and that character is Lieutenant Fuckboy.
Star Trek Voyager is so lucky to have a bee dunks here
because he's got all the gears.
He's got Lieutenant Fuckboy and he's got
after school special and he's got everything in between.
It's fucking wild.
Yeah.
The button on the episode is like bereaved family in the hospital saying goodbye to the
daughter.
And the wayward son reconnecting with his father in the midst of family crisis.
Carry on the wayward son.
There'll be cling on earrings when you are done. REST! There becute let's know mo!
Oh God!
What have we done here? What is this?
So the doc's that cool. I
Guess I have to go
experience the worst thing ever and he does and
This is legitimately affecting the doc has wanted to experience the worst thing ever. And he does. And this is legitimately affecting.
The doc has wanted to avoid the hard thing,
but Paris's encouragement makes this happen.
So he goes back into the holodeck
and he hangs out with his daughter
who is extremely fucked up.
And I think if you're Bell,
all you want is to not be alone.
And Belle's dad is there.
Yeah.
And the rest of the family is in the room just there with her
for the end of this life and whatever comes next.
And it's a really unusually good scene for an episode
that is pretty scattershot.
Like an episode that is often silly and almost like an antique in the way it depicts how
like badly the doc calculated what the benefit of running family the simulation would be.
Like I want to laugh at Jeffrey when he walks in.
He's like, hey, dad, I've got none of those cling on earrings anymore.
I'm like, I'm not going to be a punk. I brought her baby blanket with me. A thoughtful thing that a teenager maybe wouldn't do.
You've got to give yourself over to this moment if the episode works. And this was exactly the moment
where the Paramount app starts spooling up the next episode. Does this happen to you?
This is the moment.
Like she's not even dead yet.
And we get minimal screen with this episode.
Oh wow.
Paramount plus is like, Hey, do you want to play the next episode during the most
emotional moment of this one?
And I was I rate at this moment.
I'm running my Voyager watching through the Apple TV app with Paramount as an add-on,
and it did not do that to me.
Let me tell you something.
You play the Paramount Plus app in the browser, and you get what you get.
And what I got was, hey, extremely heavy part of the episode.
Do you wanna skip the credits so early that you miss?
The Dundrumir?
Yeah.
Get a paramount plus app fucking sucks.
You were just determined to get us kicked off
their list of people that get screeners in advance.
I don't. I think if you're a paramount, you want an ombudsman. Let me be that. I'm trying to help.
We want the best for Star Trek, not the worst. Yeah, Jeffries got his plugs filled in his ears.
RSVP Bell. Yeah. Did you like this episode, Adam? Yes, and there! You ain't more the U.S.S. God for doing this.
Captain the Captain!
You ain't more the U.S.S. God for doing this.
I thought it was pretty interesting how unintentionally this episode is kind of a demonstration
for how the metaverse might work.
Wow.
Like, no one's saying it, but it's definitely there that like the doc got
into deep with the holodeck program the way that
Enzen Kim did in just kind of a different way.
And now he's having to deal with the consequences of it.
I feel like you could do a whole season about shit like this.
Like, what does it mean?
Are your feelings real when the
holodeck depictions of the characters aren't?
What even means real? Like, I don't know. It's just very interesting how 20 years ago,
this kind of moment could make you think about what it may be like and the not-to-distant future to put on the goggles
and get connected with someone who has been created
instead of someone who is real.
That's what it made me think about.
It's also interesting that there isn't any sexual element
to his relationship with Charlene.
The woman that he has created to be the life partner
that presumably his plan is just run this forever
You know and have his virtual family that he goes to at night
Yeah, but like it seems like he fixated on the like performative aspect of family
Like to the exclusion of the parts of family that are like intimate and and special and then like that like came around and kicked him in the ass.
Yeah.
In the end.
Well, it's interesting that BLT is the one that coded that like I feel like not enough is made of that at the episode that like
BLT coded some real shit into this program.
It kind of betrays my choice of BLT as the Shimoda, which we'll get to later.
But yeah, absolutely.
For her to just sort of go, like, here's what a real family is like, peace out.
I thought it was a very fun episode and not only that, but to tie that weird braid and
for no reference to be to it.
Yeah.
And then Jeffrey has a braid after that in the,
whoa.
And then Jacote is like, would it help me make LaZanya
if I also had a braid?
Do you think that BLT just coded the modifications
to the program to find out if the doc
was secretly clicking on racist?
I mean, he definitely is.
He fucking showed his ass if that was what her plan was.
I mean, there have been multiple episodes this season
where the doctor has betrayed that.
Yeah.
Not a good look.
Also, he may be kind of a psycho in addition.
Not a very fun man to be raised by.
No, he sucks.
Well, and do you to see if we have anything in the P1 inbox? Oh yeah, I already closed that window.
Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel.
Need a supplement on it.
supplement on it?
supplement
supplement
Yeah, it's extra.
The interest alone could be enough to buy this ship. Well Adam. Stop them on, come on. Stop them on. Stop them on. Yeah, it's extra.
The interest alone could be enough to buy this ship.
Well, Adam, it doesn't matter that you close that window
because this was a Max Fun Drive episode.
There are no P1s on this one,
but if folks would like to get one for a future episode
head to maximumfun.org slash jumbo-tron and set it up today.
If you love Greatest Gen, put a ring on it, and by ring I mean monthly support.
That's what keeps it going.
It really does.
Yeah, indeed.
If you don't want to sit next to Greatest Gen, as it dies, blind and in pain support greatest gen yeah if you don't want
greatest gen to call you daddy and it's time of fear yeah if you don't want to
play wack a podcast and have greatest gen lose, hmm, support the greatest generation.
You know, I'm really easy to get along with, most of the time.
But I don't like bullets, I don't like flesh, and I don't like you.
Hey Adam!
What's up in?
Did you find yourself a drunk Shimoda?
Drunk Shimoda!
I referred to it earlier, BLT as the bomb thrower.
Isn't there to deal with the aftermath of the bomb throwing?
It is crazy to me.
Yeah.
She would love this.
Do you think that something in her kabadis ripper worked its way into the changes she made
to Dr. Kenneth's
holodeck program.
It's a great hypothesis.
I took a big long break before pronouncing that.
There's not a lot of euros in the family unit that is being
simulated here, you know, like it doesn't really seem like Kenneth and Charlene
are like still keeping the spark alive or anything.
I don't want this to sound disparaging against any Kenneth's
or any Charlene's of which we know both.
Some of our best friends are Kenneth and Charlene's.
But Kenneth and Charlene combination just reflexively is like, no.
Hey, if you're in a Kenneth and Charlene relationship, please know that that was not
personally directed at you. It is directed at the representations
of Kenneth Centralian's that we have access to
in this episode.
Blame the show.
Ha ha ha ha.
My Shemota is Bell.
I feel like Bell is just having the most fun
in this episode up until with the exception of the end,
with the exception of the fate that Bell reaps,
Bell is like the emotional
core of her family, but also like doing awesome like random shit in her personal life. Like,
I love a kid that has like weird random interests like this. Like nothing about the way Bell is
styled or presented to us in the scenes that we have with her reads as like I'm into a super
violent sport and I love that her character gets that despite that styling you know.
Yeah, I mean Lindsay Han grew up to be a pro like I'm just reading a battery of
filmography. Oh yeah. And she's she's like a director. I think she's like way way better asked than her brother
Yeah, I feel like our brothers like Klingon shit is almost in response to how much harder his little sister is than he is
It's really true. Well Adam our next episode is season three episode 23
Distant origin and alien paleontologist
distant origin. An alien paleontologist discovers a common ancestral length between his people and humans. How many more episodes are we just going to
be ignoring the Borgs? Not many. I'm just really waiting for that fucking shoe to
drop. You're about to hit a wall called Upps All Borgs. All right. And this is the last last stop before that exit.
Maybe.
All right.
I don't want to make any promises I can't keep, but I remember
distant origin very fondly.
Oh, and I'm really looking forward to it.
Our runabout is currently on square 36, which means we don't have
anything ahead of us that we could hit to modify how we do the next
episode. It's going to be a regular episode no matter what I roll at them. Wow. We don't have anything ahead of us that we could hit to modify how we do the next episode
It's gonna be a regular episode no matter what I roll at him. Wow. I can't believe it. You're required to learn as you play
Roll
Believe it, baby. All right. I'm gonna roll this bone. I did and I rolled it to
I put us on a square of 38, staying on the fourth row with the game of buttholes,
filled the caretaker.
And just a regular old episode next week, as promised.
I love it.
I don't think I could do a champagne episode that often.
Because I fucking hammered my bottle to done about 30 minutes ago.
Yeah, you're struggling, man. I mean, this is gonna be an editor's dream. What's
going on here? This is gonna be the last of Wendy Pretty episode.
She did not sign up for this.
Speaking of Wendy Pretty, we have to thank her for being the producer of all of the
Usbridge Shimoda podcasts.
Including this one, we gotta thank Bill Tilly for being the card daddy and running
the social medias at greatest Trek on Instagram and Twitter.
We gotta thank Adam Ragusia, who is our buddy
that made our original theme music.
He, of course, based that off of the work of Dark Materia,
who made the original Picard song.
Adam Ragusia, a great YouTube chef.
Out there, showing you how to cook.
And now a great podcast host. A great YouTube chef out there showing you how to cook.
And now a great podcast host.
Yeah, and we're gonna be, I guess, as long as they'll have us,
semi-regular guests on that podcast, so keep your ears peeled for that.
If you do not subscribe to the Adam Ragusea family of products,
I don't know what your problem is. Yeah, come on. We talked about a movie. You love hearing us talk about a movie.
Yeah, a movie that was even referenced this very episode.
What?
Weirdly, right?
Yeah.
What?
If you're into hearing Ben and Adam talk about layered pasta dishes.
Yeah.
Go listen to that.
That's your jam. This is this has been a max fun drive episode if you
Enjoy the show. I'm not sure why you do
We can use we could sure use your support maximum fun dot org slash join if you feel sorry about what's happened here?
I know what you can do
What's happened here? I know what you can do.
There are some nickels under the pot. We really appreciate it.
And we will be back at you next week with another great episode of Star Trek Voyager
and episode of Greatest Generation Voyager where the hosts are just under
some of the most ridiculous loaf you ever saw
I just wasn't even here for the credits Ben. Thanks for taking us home. I was gone.
I was gone.
Where were you, buddy?
I was inside the coconut.
Oh, the empty coconut.
It was cute that you crawled into that little coconut.
Yeah, I made myself a little home.
That's where I live now.
Like I heard from it, Graham.
But she's a coconut as a brandy.
I shed my sleep from bag and I call you a coconut.
So great.
Oh, bud.
This was so fun.
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