The Greatest Generation - Leola Root Gruel (VOY S5E9)
Episode Date: January 23, 2023When Tom Paris finds a cause that fulfills his childhood dreams, BLT eggs him on to get a 30-day break from their relationship. But when Paris goes rouge in the middle of Captain Janeway’s diplomacy..., she’s ready to bomb the Delta Swimmer but settles for jerking Tom’s leash instead. What does a carpeted cell say about the prisoner? Is there a column B in the Prime Directive? Where will you never find any regrets? It’s the epistolary episode with a mathy pivot!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.Friends of DeSoto for Democracy.Friends of DeSoto for Justice. Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Caretaker!Music by Adam Ragusea & Dark MateriaFollow The Greatest Generation on Twitter, and discuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen!The Greatest Generation is on Twitch.Facebook group | Subreddit | Discord | WikiSign up for our mailing list!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel.
Hey friends of Disodo.
Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor
actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry.
If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join
us in standing in solidarity with the folks who actually bring these adventures to life.
Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production
Studios, have reduced the profit from movies and TV going to workers. And in so doing,
they've attempted to weaken the labor unions that represent those workers. They wouldn't
even engage the unions on many issues in their negotiations. And so a strike was the only course of action to take.
Adam, Wendy and I have been having a lot of internal
discussions about how best to stand with the unions
and we are continuing those conversations
in a dynamic situation.
We're doing our best to understand where the picket lines
are in these digital spaces,
and we would never intentionally cross one.
With the information we have,
we feel like we can do more good talking about and supporting
the strike and continuing our show as planned.
We'll keep you informed about what all this means for greatest trek specifically.
Today we're making a contribution to the Entertainment Community Fund.
This fund exists to help all the people whose livelihoods have been put on hold because
the AMPTP refuses to negotiate
in good faith with the unions. It provides financial support for writers, actors, and all the
thousands of laborers who make the shows that we talk about here and without whom we wouldn't
have Star Trek to cast pot about. Those folks are all out of work because billionaires,
company shareholders, and the executives of these companies don't want to compromise on the length of their yachts.
We hope you'll join us in supporting entertainment workers
in a challenging time,
especially after they've already endured
several years of challenges brought on by the pandemic
and season two of Star Trek Picard.
We've set up a page where you can also contribute.
It's at friendsofdecotoforlabor.com.
That's friendsofdececoto for Labor.com. That's FriendsOfDecoto for Labor.com. Link
in the episode description. Okay, now let's get on with the show.
Here's to the finest crew in Starfleet. Engage!
Bringengwa the U.S.S. Boardhead jerk, Captain, Captain,
Bringengwa the U.S.S.
Boardhead jerk, Captain, Captain, Captain.
Welcome to the greatest generation.
It's a Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys
just a little bit embarrassed about having a Star Trek podcast.
I'm Adam Prantica.
I'm Ben Harrison.
Feeling good on this Friday, the Friday day of our recording?
Yeah, unusual for us to be recording this late in the week, but here we are.
Usually, we like our Fridays to ourselves.
Well, Friday afternoon, I'm having a cider to celebrate.
Oh, look at you, man.
I have to admit to you that my drinking through the holidays was like off the charts.
And it's not that I have regrets about any of the socializing that I did.
Had a great time. No drama. No drama over here.
But I just felt over that long haul like fucking tired.
Yeah, takes a toll.
Like, it isn't energy suck,
and I don't sleep as well when I've been drinking,
so I'm trying to make the drinking count.
Yeah.
Like, if I don't drink all the time
and I can save it for occasions
when I hang out with people
and just have a lot of drinks then, mm-hmm.
I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
Kind of binge it. All it
wants is what I'm getting at. Yeah. Yeah. That's just good, clean fun. Last time I did any drinking
was with you. Oh, yeah. We had a very fun time at a famous Los Angeles restaurant. Yeah.
With our buddy Chuck Bryant. Yeah. Theies were flowing that night, my friend.
And our friend and agent showed up.
Yeah.
And we imbibed pretty handsomely that night, and I don't blame you for feeling a little
overwhelmed by all of that.
I want to share one of the great bits with a friend of DeSoto that happened that night.
So we, I think, our final resting place of the evening
that where we ended up with Chuck and our friend and agent
was like the fourth spot at the night or something.
Like we'd had drinks in many different places
before we ended up there.
And when it came time to pay the bill,
everyone in our social group is usually really great
about this, just throw in a card into the middle.
Like there's no drama about who's gonna pay.
Someone's gonna pay, someone's gonna pay half, whatever.
Speaking of reasonable.
But my drunken mind went in on the bit
that took your credit card
and then asked you for a second credit card
in an attempt to split the bill with yourself.
And it was so funny at the time, it like doubled us over in the
boot. We had four people at the table and at least seven credit cards floating around
at some point. Why? I don't know why we thought it was so funny. I mean, we were a lot of martinis in at that point. And I did, I wore the jacket that I was wearing that day,
the other day for a dog walk,
and I put my hand in the pocket and found a receipt,
and I was like, I did get the bill.
I thought I got the bill.
Wow.
I had no idea where it went.
This was just for the first round that we got at the bar
before they seated us.
So, I think Chuck Lester paid or our friend and agent if you didn't.
That's not fair.
They should only ever have to pay for 10%.
I know.
I know.
I thought you were going to say you reached into your pocket and you felt congealed,
creamed spinach.
Take that for the road. You got the leftovers that night, didn't you?
I did. I took on the doggy bag and I was I sat down in front of my wife a couple
days later at lunchtime. She was working from home. She was in the house during
lunchtime and she walked in and saw me eating like half of a steak, a bunch of
grad-nated potatoes, screamed spinach and like,
reheated onion rings. And I was like, yeah, so I don't know why my
heartburn has been so bad lately. I got a really big pop from her on
that.
Just a solo power lunch if there ever was one. Yeah, yeah, damn,
gotta get through these leftovers, man, they're, they're stacking up.
I love a garbage plate
You just scrape all of the individual boxes of take out onto one plate put it in the microwave hit reheat
Auto reheat if you can get it and then bam. I don't think my microwave is quite that clever
I mean it
projects the air of cleverness. Yeah. But auto reheat rarely works.
No, no, no.
The sensor package on these things are a pretty remedial
at best.
How can any technology reheat an onion ring
to the same heat as a steak?
Ha, ha, ha.
Yeah, I did the sous vide steak reheat trick,
and that worked really well.
Did it?
Yeah.
Damn.
Yeah, that's a, I recently discovered that sous vide is a great way to reheat barbecue,
which is notoriously tricky to get back to its former glory when it's gone the way of the
leftover.
I tell you what.
I am mostly always turning my leftover proteins into either a quesadity or a stir fry. Like I just, I avoid the challenge of re-heat entirely
and just dice it up.
Yeah, yeah.
Barbecue's pretty solid in both situations.
So, yeah.
Well, anyways, hey Adam, we have a little bit
of business we need to attend to.
We had a recent code 47 where I had a couple
of unverified items, no compromise had been sent in along with, and we've verified all
of these things now with the card daddy. So, you want to do a quick like makeup code 47?
Yeah, let's do it. Alright. Captain, I'm sorry to disturb you. I'm receiving a Code 47.
Verify?
It is Code 47, sir.
Starfleet emergency frequency.
Captions eyes only.
This first one is from John and Niceville, Florida, so I'm immediately suspicious.
John and Niceville, Florida has the upper hand now, Ben.
If it was Niceville, Pennsylvania, I wouldn't even open it.
But for some reason, Florida is the more trustworthy state in this context.
Alright, I think you're gonna like this.
Here's a letter.
Ben and Adam, greetings.
Thank you for doing the impossible and actually making me look forward to my commute.
As a token of appreciation, please find two of my challenge coins enclosed along with
an enterprise model that quickly proved beyond my capabilities.
Perhaps you guys could use it in the event of a starship mine episode.
I sincerely hope you guys are going to move on to enterprise when you're done with Voyager.
That show has Shimoda's galore and you'd be remiss if you skipped it. Best wishes and keep up
to great work. John C. The Enterprise that John C has included is the D. It's one of
these like metal flat model deals. I tried one of these once and I was also not
smart enough together. These challenge coins are like poker
chips. I like that. And they are CW3 Korea's chip of Okanus. Good job on not being a total fuckup.
I like that. Yeah. So thanks, John. Sounds like serious business being done by that group.
Yeah.
All right, this is from H. Ezekiel Sauer,
and it goes like this.
Dear Ben and Adam, first,
we'd like to say how much you guys have meant to me
over the last two and a half or so years.
This podcast has been such a positive point
in my day-to-day life,
and has got me through so much.
I first heard of your show while I was playing Star Trek Online, and someone was broadcasting
one of your episodes into the open chat.
I immediately fell in love with the humor and asked the FOD what they were listening to,
and thus became an FOD myself.
I started off by listening to a few episodes of TNG here and there,
but I wanted to start listening in order since I had recently watched DS9.
I started the first episode and worked my way through until I caught up to the latest
episodes, which at the time was around mid-season 7.
I wanted to catch back up with the rest of the episode, so I gave myself more
to listen to when I went back and started listening to all of TNG.
And I got to DS9, I figured, why stop? And I listened to that whole series a second time.
Jesus.
By the time I got back out to the latest episode,
you guys were about four seasons into Voyager.
And I once again found myself wanting more
Ben and Adam in my life than once a week.
So for the second time, I jumped back
to the beginning of the series.
And as of writing this letter,
I have just started to get back into the Voyager series again.
I can honestly say I laughed just as hard as though it was the first time I heard them
or jokes and impressions.
I've been a constant source of joy.
I'm so thankful I got to attend my first ever live show with a double dumbass who are
streaming Spocktacular.
I was so incredibly nervous getting to meet you guys face to face in the meat and
greek, but I cherish the video I have of it.
In that video I showed you guys a neat little collector's book I found in a thrift shop.
I asked if you guys had anything like it and you expressed that it was something you would
not see before.
As a small token of my appreciation for the amazing work you do, I have enclosed that as well
as some TOS, USPS stamps I have laying around.
The book was originally designed to purchase packets of pages to add to the book.
I had a few that came with the book, including some duplicates that I put in, and will keep
an eye out for more to send.
Thank you so much for the laughs.
Your loyal FOD and pod viewer, H. Ezekiel Sauer.
So here is the book.
It's like a binder of Star Trek universe.
It's the user manual of the Star Trek universe.
And it looks like, yeah, like these are all like collectible pages.
What?
There's like a page on the first pilot, the cage.
I'm seeing stuff about making the model for the D.
Oh man.
Look at that young fresh face Garrett Wong
and that Voyager premiere.
Uh huh.
Picture.
My goodness.
What a hunk.
And the reason it's a binder is...
I guess the pages...
You wanted to lay flat while you're making recipes, right?
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
And if the pages stick together,
you can just take those pages out and put replacements in.
Oh man, is this one on...
I see Calvin Hudson in here.
Damn.
So this book is legit.
That rules.
Yeah, that was on a page on the Mayquise.
Mayquise? Yeah, there's so a page on the Mayquees. Mayquees?
Man, there's so much cool stuff in here.
Is it a binder you can actually open?
Like in school?
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
Listen to that.
Imagine sending something good and cool and not glitter.
Ten times as many days as there are rings in that binder, Ben.
In the title of today's episode, that's a Matthew pivot.
Let's get into the episode we came to talk about.
It's a season five episode nine of Star Trek Voyager, 30 days.
Reaper, of course.
Unless you've got something a little bigger in your torpedo toots, I'm not turning around.
This cold open is shocking.
Janeway has demoted Paris to Ensign, has sent him to solitary confinement for 30 days.
She rips the pip off his collar.
She takes his sword out of the scabbard and breaks it over her knee.
He does at first, it's a pip walk, but then it's a perp walk, right?
When he passes a BLT and Kim and seven, no good buys from that.
Hey, BLT, are you guys still an item? Because the quietly watching who may be your boyfriend
or not be perp-walk to the brig.
No, I'll wait for you.
No, uh, right me, go let her every day.
If I were being professionally censured or whatever
or put into jail, it would hurt almost as much for my wife to say nothing.
That's how you know she's disappointed.
Yeah. Yeah.
I just like Paris saying I know where the
Brigh is as though like, yeah, I think we've ever seen him put in the
Brigh, but I like the idea that this is not his first rodeo,
even when it comes to being on Voyager.
Yeah.
I was really missing that scene,
like Paris takes off his combat before going in.
Yeah.
But I wanted to see like the equivalent of the baggy
where like all your stuff goes.
Like, I don't think his boots have shoelaces, but like the equivalent of like taking off all your stuff goes. I don't think his boots have shoelaces,
but the equivalent of taking off all the stuff
that could be used to escape or hurt yourself,
that kind of thing.
They shave his head, they throw de-lousing powder
at his junk and scribe them off in a shower with blooms.
It's really giving a prisoner the benefit of the doubt when the cell is carpeted, you know?
I think that really raises the floor on quality of prisoner.
If you can carpet it and that have that be a huge mistake.
Yeah.
What's the deal with the solitary confinement though? Like that is widely recognized to be like psychological torture.
And everybody's like, yeah, you deserve it, Tom.
Yeah, I mean, that's uncomfortable to experience throughout the episode,
especially as Paris begins to wither in the face of it.
We get one of those, you're probably wondering how I got here, especially as Paris begins to wither in the face of it.
We get one of those,
you're probably wondering how I got here,
kind of moves to theme, right?
Yeah, it's a, like he's like lying on the bed,
we get the theme and when we come back,
Nielix is dropping off his like Leola root gruel.
He's like, I love the bit of jumping up the number of pushups.
He's finishing off when when Neelix comes in.
Staying in shape?
Oh yeah.
I do it every time I'm in jail.
Yeah, I mean, it's important.
You gotta get that prison baritone as soon as possible.
Yeah, you think it'll get like a big pan
and like a showing needle
and give himself some prison tats to.
Hard to say. I mean, B-Dunk's is looking pretty jacked here like when he goes down to the
gray. Yeah. The prison issue, gray? Yeah. There's mutiny shirt. Yeah. Do you think that the lack of a
facility in the Brigh is the strongest evidence we have that they're
beaming the poops out.
Yeah.
I do think that...
Do you think we need to make this another item in the store?
Is this the 30-days shirt?
30-days shirt.
Because I think that the mutiny shirt is actually a long sleeve.
It is.
But the 30-days shirt is a short sleeve.
There you go. Well, I think it has to be a shirt.
I think those are just the rules.
Yeah, you said it.
The basic nutrition only died as what Paris is on.
And that's the reason for the Leola root chow.
Yeah, bread and water, huh?
Let's have it.
This is also a scene where it's made clear
that Nielix is kind of the red of Paris's
shashank, like he wanted a pad and he got one, so he can't ask for stuff and receive it,
but he can't get things like holodeck privileges or better tasting food or a conversation.
Yeah.
There are limits to what Nielix can provide, and Nielix kind of turns on his heels and
walks away. I wondered how like what does this pad have on it? Is just like an empty iPad or, you know,
can he like watch movies? Okay, listen to music. Don't you get the sense that prison porn is probably like the
the grossest worst convenience store magazine porn? Like he's got big naturals on his pad, you know?
Yeah, I did notice the word gash on the back of that pad
when he like sounded it up.
Some real sick shit in there.
Yeah, that kind of stuff you can't even send through subspace.
But that's not what Paris has in mind for this pad.
He's using it to write a letter.
This becomes sort of an epistolary episode where now
Ensen Paris is explaining his actions to Admiral Paris
back home who may never even get to read this.
I like the handful of takes he needs to get the beginning of the letter
right. I kind of struggle with the beginning of letters. Yeah. Like how you want to address
the person you're writing. Dear father, pause and erase. Dear can feel a little weird when
it's like an estranged relative like Admiral Paris. Totally. Hey, Dad, long time no see.
Once the letter begins, we flash back
to a Captain Proton scene, and oh my God,
we're finally seeing the Delaney sisters, aren't we?
Yeah, that's them.
They're even more beautiful than I imagined.
The level of difficulty of delivering
on the promise of the Delaning Sisters
in season five episode nine,
after they've been so built up,
and the fact that they're this foxy,
and they're in these crazy get-ups,
and they're clearly about to do
some really kinky shit with Harry.
Yeah, I mean, the idea of the brain probe,
being wheeled over to Ensign Kim,
and him kind of wanting it.
You know, ordinarily, I'm too ashamed to say what I really want. Maybe you should
use the brain probe to suck it out of me. Captain Proton person saves the day.
Captain Proton person saves the day.
And it's another example of this holodeck program being like, what does Kim and the Delaney Sisters get out of this game
if it isn't the power play of it?
Because the Delaney Sisters are of lower rank than Kim here
and Kim possibly the lowest rank.
Yeah.
But in the holodeck, it's an even playing field.
It really is.
The power gets traded around, doesn't it?
It does.
And like, clearly everybody's disappointed that Captain Proton, like, overcame whatever obstacles
he overcame to get in this door because they were having a lot of fun just the three of
them.
Yeah. Yes. So the party's over.
They walk out of the holodeck
and it's clear that Delaney Sisters
need to go back to work.
Kim's been doing this program on his day off.
Hey Delaney Sisters, I know it's my day off,
but I can help with work stuff.
And he kind of gets his balls mashed in over this.
Like they would rather work more and alone
than spend time with Harry Kim.
Thanks anyway.
I mean, sometimes like when you're in the scene, you know,
like going back to a-
Are you talking about the lifestyle?
Yeah, like going back to just like a mundane,
you know, it's not the same as like helping me study for my test
or whatever, you know, like let's just not gonna get you there.
Right.
If you need to dress up like a space villain.
Oh, so you think Kim thinks that the Delaney sisters
are speaking in code, but to the Delaney sisters
in the scene, their work is actually work.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
I see.
Coffee does not mean sex in this scene.
And this context.
Coffee means coffee.
Okay.
Wow, I gotta watch out for that one.
This is all just stuff that I've like gathered
over years of listening to this average love podcast,
but I'm not speaking for
any expertise of my own.
Right.
Of course, it's locked in.
What?
Did this one to me?
I'm very careful.
Because I'm a man to say this once.
That one Delaney sister lightly smashed Kim's balls here.
Paris gives them another light bit of kicking in the turbo lift when he observes just how on brand,
this entire scene was to be into a girl
or girls that aren't into him.
Yeah, at least I'm consistent.
And he goes down like the laundry list, that's uncool.
Yeah, I mean, don't most Voyager crew people
have pretty bad lists of X lovers?
When the pickens are slim and like the failures Voyager crew people have pretty bad lists of ex-lovers.
When the pigons are slim and like the failures are as dramatic as they have been, it's tough.
It's a tough lifestyle living on board Voyager.
Also interesting about this scene
is that the Delaney sisters appear to report to Lieutenant
in Paris.
Right.
And not for long.
No, yeah, not for long at all.
They head up to the bridge and they are informed
by the captain and should co-tae that there's
interesting readings on long range sensors
and it's a planet or something like it
with lots of life signs.
And when they get it up on screen,
it's just like a bubble of ocean in space.
Pretty great looking.
Yeah.
As a planet, this ocean planet.
Love it.
You get just a second to observe it
before starships come out of it.
Yeah.
Which is great.
That's a fun surprise.
What are these mongeons?
Like manja manja?
Oh, geez.
Is that what they are?
Hey, it's it's a three-space a ship
They're kind of looking like a piece of pizza
No replicated a pizza for a person in a jail
Bless Janeway for hailing first and getting attacked in reply
So Janeway like almost frustratingly is like,
God, fine, take out their weapons systems
with our phasers, Jesus.
This again, and they do.
And then they're gonna call us the fucking ship of death.
Cool.
Burcus is on screen to greet.
You violated our space.
Boy, this reverse is coarse, pretty fast. Yeah. Burcus. Boy, this reverses course pretty fast.
Yeah.
Berkis goes from, get the fuck out.
This is our maritime severinity you're fucking around with.
And he gets like totally brought to heel in a kid who's just really into cool starships
kind of way.
Your ship's impressive.
This is great work by Janeway.
I'd be happy to give you a tour.
Yeah, they'll like work explorers and we'll leave if you really want us to. your ship's impressive. This is great work by Janeway. I'm not be happy to give you a tour.
Yeah, they'll like work explorers
and we'll leave if you really want us to.
And he's like, wait.
Berkus is like, you fly a fire truck.
Can I see it?
Ha, ha, ha.
Smash cut to Berkus coming aboard
and didn't like the look of taking a brand new person that you've just met
all the way to the bridge.
I don't know why I'm conditioned to think that, but it just, I don't know.
I like to give it time.
I also, like, Berkis is wearing blue and his two lackeys are wearing red and I was like,
oh, is there like a, are there some kind of, like, rivals secretly or something like that?
Then I noticed that one of his lackeys is Stanford
from Sex and the City.
And I was like, no, this guy hasn't got an evil bone in his body.
I have never seen that show,
so I don't quite get the reference.
Oh man.
We're best friends, we make each other laugh.
We both sleep with men.
Yeah, Willie Garson is the actor.
Riga helps to answer the Q andA questions in this meeting they have.
Yeah.
Which is helpful.
He also forwards their main issue.
Like, yeah, the planet's cool in everything,
and we have an underwater society and underwaterships and
and the whole thing, but we're kind of losing our grasp on the water.
The water's getting away and we don't really know why.
We could kind of has the aspect of Jack Ryan
in the beginning of Hunt for Red October
where he's like an analyst who seems really nervous
to be among all these power players, all of a sudden.
He's like, yeah, here's my opinion, not that anyone asked,
but I think that the divine gift from the creators of a sudden, he's like, yeah, like here's my opinion, not that anyone asked, but, you know,
I think that like the divine gift from the creator's story
about our water planet may be bullshit, you know, just saying.
Yeah, there is that thing established between Riga
and Berkis that goes like, just because Berkis is in charge,
it doesn't mean that Riga is just there to sit quietly and agree with everything
he says. And there's a weird kind of mirroring happening between Riga and Berkis and Paris
and Janeway, right? Because Paris sort of becomes the Riga of the Voyager crew. And my God,
I just wrote a film paper about this episode, Like they kind of egg each other on.
Right, and indeed they do.
So the back story is that these people
used to be nomadic, but they've been
at this water bubble thing for the last couple hundred years.
And Rega's like, hey, like you guys actually
might be able to do something to help us
about the like loss of containment
that our ocean is experiencing.
And Berkis is like, eugh, it's nay on entertainment, kay.
Riga is so great about the guilt trip of, yeah, you know, I bet we could solve our
planet's problems if we could just go deeper into the water, but you kind of like kicks
at the floor.
Like, we just don't have the technology
to get all the way down there, like you guys.
It's too bad our spaceship is in as cool as this one.
Anyways.
If only we had a space fire truck
to get all the way to the bottom.
And Paris practically climbs over the back of Janeway
and is like, well we got the tech you need. Yeah, the next scene is just back of Janeway and is like, well, we got the tech you need.
Yeah.
The next scene is just Paris and Janeway, like canutling almost in
her ready room.
Like she's replicated him some, some vegetable broth, maybe this
scene hits pretty hard after the cold open, right?
Like it's just nice to remember better days.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Paris is regaling her with stories of how much he loved stories
about ancient sailing ships as a boy.
He he thought maybe he'd join the earth Navy like the like
actual ocean Navy when he got out of high school.
I would love for there to be a new Star Trek show
that is Federation Navy.
And it's all the Navy's on all the member planets in the Federation.
And it's not unlike Jag or like any other CBS show.
Just a procedural.
Yeah.
Just a Navy procedural set in the Star Trek universe.
Star Trek Jagd, DSV.
Yeah.
I think we could call it.
That's it.
Yeah.
Let's see if we could get a meeting with, uh, what's Paramount, you know?
I love how non condescending parrises with Janeway like, look, if you think about it,
water is a lot like space.
And so the Delta Flyers already sealed for that kind of mission.
Yeah. Minimal changes would have to be made to the Delta Flyers, whereas if they were going to try
and do this mission, and to be clear, the mission is go to the middle of the water planet and see
what's up with the gravitational forces. They could spend a week doing these modifications
to Voyager or an afternoon doing them to the Delta flyer.
Right.
Mr. Paris, it would seem as though this is a mission
where you will get wet, but you may get soaked.
And he's like, are you telling me to take
the Delaney sisters with me?
Don't you remember I was covered in crud?
A couple episodes ago and then people took pictures of me to laugh at?
I gotta get clean.
Yeah.
You get some water, wipe off that crud.
I'm alright with that.
So Paris can't do this alone.
He needs a hairy Kim to be his first mate.
I love a putting together a team montage.
Yeah.
I love how you can just walk the corridor and assemble your team.
You're like a team building Kadamari Damasi.
You know, he's like rolling through the halls, picking him up.
Yeah.
So Harry's the first mate.
Seven is going to be the boss and Rigaiga's gonna come along as their local guide.
I know they didn't mean it this way, but Riga showing up with too much gear on this mission
is like a guy who brought a cake to a birthday party.
I can't remember the last time someone got smashed as hard in the nuts about a faux pas like this.
He is made to look so fucking stupid
that I don't think the episode intends to make him look
this bad, but he looks like a fucking dope.
Do you think it's just the ball,
like the thing that looks like a diving bell or whatever?
Maybe, but like, I think the episode wants you to take him
seriously and his concern seriously,
but his character is portrayed as so weak.
And Guy who brings all the gear guy.
He's giving AV Club in a way that feels like it's too nerdy.
Yeah. Yeah.
These are my instruments for measuring depth,
pressure, current.
We will not need them.
This vessel is equipped with a complete sensor array.
Oh.
And it makes me feel like Paris is making a mistake
by like partnering with this guy.
Yeah, they really humiliate him,
but he gets on the ship with the rest of them.
Paris knocks the helmet out of his hands.
You can store your gear in the hole.
Objection noted, we'll do this without you.
Do it.
Do it. Objection noted, we'll do this without you. Do it. Do it.
Objection noted, we'll do this without you.
Do it.
Do it.
Do it.
Do it.
I noticed that when they depart the Voyager, the report
Harry gives is that they're 20,000 kilometers from the surface,
which felt like a little call back to Paris's love of 20,000
leagues.
Yeah.
And the Delta Flyer Adam becomes the Delta Swimmer.
That was great.
Yeah, sure does.
I love Splashdown.
We get a lot of splashdowns in this episode.
Hey, I know that B-Dunks and Garat Long don't listen.
But if anybody affiliated with the Delta Flyers is listening
for this episode
when they get to it, you can have that. The Delta Swimmers, rebrand the podcast, just
make it like the Delta Swimmers podcast on that one day. That'd be fun.
So I was walking Ripley just yesterday morning, going out on the morning walk. And I encountered a person on the walk
wearing a, it's the Voyager t-shirt,
which is known to be a Delta Flyers show, merch shirt.
Oh, wow.
And I walked by and I was like,
oh, hey, cool shirt, Delta Flyers, right?
Yeah.
And they're like, yeah.
And I was like, uh, I host
greatest generation. And they look at me like, oh, I was like,
yeah, you should give it a listen to some time. And they're like,
oh, yeah, maybe it was so fucking awkward. Wow.
I don't think I think I had assumed some crossover appeal where maybe there isn't.
But yeah, it was neat to see in my neighborhood someone wear a star-tructure of any kind and
specifically a star-truck podcast shirt.
Yeah.
Hey, these guys have good merch.
I know.
Yeah.
What's up with all the like,
like every image is like heavily, there's like watermarks all over them.
Well, they're doing a thing that we should probably
think about doing, which is you can use
some print on demand companies to just rip
art off of existing stores and then
print it yourself.
Yeah.
So they've had that happen to them. Week. Yeah. Don't do that to yourself. Yeah. So they've had that happen to them.
Week.
Yeah.
Don't do that to podcasts.
Yeah.
It's hard enough to make a living doing this.
We have very few available avenues.
Yeah.
So they're getting into the swing of this
and Paris is just having a ball, right?
He loves this shit.
He's using like nautical terminology.
Sayler talk, you'll get the hang of it.
They're loving like seeing the facilities
that have been built by the Mungians.
For some reason, Paris is using a like big wooden wheel
to stay the ship.
He took all his captain Proton cramp
out of the Delta flyer and replaced it with like
sextance, compasses and stuff.
The reveal of the underwater city is really cool.
And the sonar sound inside the Delta flyer, that's fun.
Like they do what they can to make it feel different from space.
Yeah, it looks really good.
And they're super impressed by this like desalination plant.
And up on Voyager,
Janeway is not having as good a time.
She's gonna have to break some bad news.
Yeah.
And Berkis is gonna be its recipient.
She tells Berkis and Shikotis there too,
that your water planet has five years
before a total loss of containment.
And there's not a lot of detail about what that means. I kind of
wanted to see the passage of time slide show. Like I wish they sat him down and show to him,
like what does planet look like as it got smaller and smaller?
Well, a judge for yourself. Here's Lisa today. Without treatment, he is what should look like at age 11,
day without treatment. He has what should look like at age 11, age 14, age 17, and finally, age 18.
That would be fun, like the turning into just like a marble of water in space.
Yeah.
Animation.
Yeah. And so things like massive actuation are on the table. And Berkis is like, not taking this as the
emergency that it's intended to be. He's like, all right, well, it could be that way, but why
don't we wait until the Delta flyer returns before we make any rash decisions?
Yeah. I mean, this is agreeable, you know, like the whole point of the Delta flyer going down
there was to fix this problem. So maybe it's not a problem.
Yeah.
And also like your math could be wrong.
Like chill the fuck out.
Like nobody panic here.
I'm guilty of this all the time.
Like imagining problems down the road
that haven't even occurred yet.
Why don't we just chill out and live for today?
That would be nice.
Yeah.
The Delta flyer finds a structure down in the deep, deep, and Riga is pretty confused
at this.
They're down deeper than anyone's ever been.
Yeah.
And the station that they find down there is so old, it's 100,000 years old, and they
kind of figure out that this thing malfunctioning may be part of the problem.
Yeah, and Rigaas like original thought had been
that this planet had formed naturally like a gas giant.
So this really undermines everything
he thought might be the case.
The thing about rega and a scene like this especially
is like I'm reflexively waiting for rega to go,
well our entire society is based on this religion
and we can't just change that.
So let's just keep it the way it is.
Like so many Star Trek episodes have been about the inflexibility of a society with an
already ingrained way of thinking about their creation.
That anything that runs against their creation myth is like, nope, can't do it.
But Riga is pretty open-minded here.
Riga is not like, don't check inside
that object out there for children.
We definitely don't run our civilization on children.
Don't need me.
Okay.
We're not one of those societies at least.
Look, we are perfect, but we aren't a child battery society.
I mean, I could tell this thing was bad.
From the second we cut to the wide shot
And you can see that it looks like a covid molecule
Hmm
Yeah, I love that there's a I love that unrelated to anything else in the episode
There is a sea monster and as it is a giant electric eel
It is big fun. Yeah
It's just there to kind of cause trouble
as they try to upload the database
and figure out what is happening inside this machine
that they've just discovered.
Just to add a little bit of freeze on to the episode.
There's always a bigger fish.
It's always felt to me like Star Trek ship weapon damage
is like magic damage. And what this thing damage is like magic damage.
And what this thing does is like melee damage, right?
Like, you see the eel like slap itself into the ship
and that's damaging it.
But it's not a science fiction form of attack.
Yeah. Oh man, it's like a wizard going up against a
berserker. Right. Yeah. That's a better comparison.
No, that's the comparison that you were making.
They get the sea monster to retreat, but not before it's caused a leak.
And you know what that means.
Paris is going to get wet.
I hope he doesn't get Steve Zond.
Yeah.
I guess we know for a fact that he doesn't get Steve Zand because he's in prison later.
That's right.
So it takes some of the fun out of this.
He's going to be okay.
Yeah.
So we come back to him writing his letter and he's like working in the room and we get
a banger and the security guy that's, you know, stationed down here in the brig leaves his post to go to a presumably a different post that he has that's more important if the ship is in combat.
Scottie's outside the doors when it opens and he just kind of hops into Scottie's arms.
Get brought up to the bridge.
But Paris is arguing for like, hey, I'm the best pilot you got.
Let me out of here. Let me help save the ship at least.
Yeah.
This doesn't change any minds.
Paris is left to kind of bounce off the wall and hit the floor.
They didn't put a like a seat belt of any kind in the brig.
Now, which also seems cruel and unusual, you know, you know, the power and the
brig is the first to go out when they need to reroute it.
Yeah. You know the power and the break is the first to go out when they need to re-root it.
Yeah.
When we cut back from break, the doctor is treating Paris's boo-bos and he's like regaling
Paris with the heroic rise of Ensen-Cull-Hain, sort of like, you know, coming off the bench to
really do great in the second quarter after the star of the team was injured or whatever.
Yeah.
I hear Captain Janeway's considering him
for Chief Khan officer.
Oh yeah?
It's like Linsanity for Ensign Kalhane, you know?
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
My feelings are Lins Tents.
It's Lins Describeable.
So after being told that he still has 20 days of this shit ahead of him by the doctor,
Paris gets back to writing his letter.
Do you need a little more blood in Star Trek Voyager? I just feel like if there's ever
going to be blood, a scalp wound is where it's going to happen, right?
Yeah. Yeah, that would have been an interesting, like,
Yeah, that would have been an interesting, like, heightening of how isolated Paris feels in this episode.
Like, if he was really hurt looking here.
Yeah, but the doc just does everything
he can to diminish Paris in the scene.
He does.
He evokes Naomi Wildman's name as a way to condescend to him.
Paris is like, come on, did you have to do that?
Yeah.
Can you reprogram him or something?
I've got tickets that, platinum, get that,
old, better large, rich, here.
I've got tickets that, platinum,
what not, are you selling a high suit?
Gold.
A Greatest Gen Live Show is something you don't want to miss.
Why?
Well, it's a great opportunity to see me and Ben in person, but that's not all.
FODs from all over gather at these shows to cosplay, to do pre and post show hangs,
to make friends, and share their embarrassment.
Hey, let's make a pretty great name for a tour. Let's do it!
The Sherry Reembarishment Tour is coming in August 2023,
and we've got a bunch of dates in a lot of great places. Go to GreatestGenTour.com to get more
info. That's GreatestGenTour.com for dates and ticketing information for the Sherry Reembarishment Tour.
I'm Jordan Morris and I'm Jesse Thorne. On Jordan Jesse Go, we make pure, delightful nonsense.
We were open awesome guests and bring them down to our level.
We get stupid with Judy Greer.
My friend Molly and I call it having the spaceweirds.
Pat Noswald.
Could I get a ball-rock burger and some air-gorn fries?
Thank you.
And Kumail Non-Giani.
I've come back with cat toothbrushes, which is impossible to use.
Come get stupider with us at MaximumFun.org.
Look, your podcast apps are open, just pull it out.
Give Jordan Jesse Goat try.
Being smart is hard.
Be dumb instead.
Oh, rats, hey, hey, oh, I'm about to count you in line.
These clouds are really freaking me out.
I hate having to stand in line.
And boy, what do I?
These giraffes do not smell good. No, they do not, and they've such short nacks. But I'm hearing we need in line and boy. What do I? These giraffes do not smell good.
No, they do not, and they've such short neck.
But I'm hearing we need to get on this.
We've got to get on the art.
It's about terrain, about a spout to destroy humanity.
Hey, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Are you Noah?
Yeah, I know we look like humans.
We're actually, we're podcasters.
We are podcasters, so it's different.
Have you heard of Ono Ross and Kerry?
We investigate spirituality, claims of the paranormal, stuff like that. And you have a boat and say the world's gonna end so
seem like something for us to check out. We would love to be on the boats. We came two by two.
What do you think? Ono Ross and Carrie available on MaximumFun or dot org. Captain the Captain, the U.S. says, 4th, Captain the Captain, the U.S.
Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it.
So Paris gets back to his letter
and we're back to leak repair.
I loved the effect of the leak ceiling
because there's like actual water
coming through this crack.
And I don't know if they like slid a,
you know, piece of lumber across the crack or something,
but like the water is interacting with the light
on the beam that he's using.
It was really cool.
It looked great.
I mean, it's more than just the water leak.
The Delta flyer has been pretty heavily damaged.
A lot of systems are down, including propulsion, right?
And so seven is like, how are we gonna get this thing
to the surface besides dumping a bunch of shit out of it making ourselves lighter and floating to the surface?
They also can't communicate with Voyager after this eel attack. So they don't have
any way to call for help, but Paris as the captain of this mission decides that despite the
desperate situation he would like to stay and he actually offers to let them go
and like leave him with a suit,
which apparently they also have suits
that can survive pressure at this depth.
Do you think it was just a first contact suit?
I thought for sure they were gonna bust out a couple of those.
Mr. Paris, do you remember your underwater combat training?
Yeah.
What are you suggesting?
Exactly.
Paris really rushes to the,
if you guys don't want to do this, you can fucking leave,
but I'm staying.
That's the difference between a lieutenant
and a captain, right?
Like there's no rousing speech,
there's no starting motivational moment.
Yeah, lieutenant is fine, I'll do it myself.
You have a better idea.
And so everybody agrees, like, alright, we don't wanna,
we'll let the baby have his bottle,
we'll continue to fix the array or whatever.
And while they're working on it,
we cut to the surface of the planet
and like a sort of reverse tornado thing forms
on the surface and water starts going out into space.
And up on the foiter, they're like,
shit, fuck, it's like happening faster than we thought.
And so it's gonna have to be a deflector dish-based solution.
And they move into position and try and set this up,
but they're still not in contact with the Delta fire.
And Berkis is like, do you think they died?
Or like, what do you think they died or like,
what do you think?
And like I have like political risk here, you know.
If the mission to save whatever is at the middle
of the planet failed and your deflector array thing fails,
like the council's gonna be very upset with me.
And Jamie's like, we're talking about the lives
of everybody on your planet, man.
What are you doing? Yeah. And then the lives of everybody on your planet, man. What are you doing?
Yeah, and then the lives of the people on the Delta Flyer
and then like 20 buttons down,
how it's gonna look in front of Congress.
Okay.
On the Delta Flyer, they've discovered that
there is a problem with the density of the water on the planet.
The water density has been increasing.
On your density.
The reactor at the center has been compensating by beefing up its own structural integrity field,
and that is causing its containment fields to lose power, which is why containment
is failing.
And this seems to be related to the fact that they do this like oceanic
desalination and oxygen mining.
It's the industry of the Bangeans.
Is it Maneans?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Like Janelle?
I didn't write it down.
I wrote it down, but I think it auto corrected
incorrectly.
That's what happens.
I just want you to know that I see you.
Yeah.
This is the scene where Paris works wet
and it had me thinking for how long?
Well, who'll be working wet?
Yeah.
From a production standpoint, I mean,
because it looks great and desperate
to have him do the work of a Starfleet
officer soaked. But like as a production issue, it's a real challenge.
It's a pain in the butt.
And as we went back subsequent scenes, I was like, wow, he's still wet.
I was impressed.
Yeah. Starfleet uniforms must be wicking, right?
They've got like some kind of modern fabric that wicks really well.
It would be great if it was almost that,
but instead it was more like the back to the future two version
of like a tunic with like internal dryers,
and they're very loud.
Jackadrying.
You're a jackad in a dry. Paris is like, I'm modulating the power transfer
in Harry's like, what?
Sorry, what?
Yeah.
They got it good enough.
Unvoyager, they read from afar
that the containment problem has been fixed. And not only that, the Delta flyer is servicing. Yeah. Unvoyager, they read from afar that the containment problem has been fixed.
And not only that, the Delta Flyer is surfacing.
Yeah.
So things seem to be okay.
Yeah, it's doing the slow surfacing that they were talking about.
But the planet is no longer pissing itself into space.
And boy, what a relief for Berkis.
The other politicians are going to be happy with him and not mad at him.
All they had to do on the Delta Flyer is dump out Harry Kim's clarinet and his clarinet case
and a pile of his clarinet sheet music. Yeah. And all those extra reads. Right. And that little
absorbent towel on the rope with the little weight at the end.
Yeah, and then they started rising.
And then they beamed out all of Riga's equipment.
And he was like, we were already rising. What are you doing?
I thought I left it behind.
Are you saying you brought it on board just to blow it out into the ocean?
God damn it, that stuff was expensive.
Yeah. Back on the Voyager after they've
returned home, Paris shows Riga a graphic on a screen that shows like how their water
planet was formed. There's all this water and the life that lives within the planet used
to all be on the surface of a rocky planet, and the people that lived there built this gravitational device,
sent it up into space, and then over 200 years sucked all of the water
and everything living in it up into this water planet.
We have no idea why they just did this long time ago.
Commence operation, vacuum suck.
It's incredible how much confidence this episode has
and what's interesting, like, this is really interesting.
Yeah.
Try to ignore it.
It is incredible to think that this society did this to their water.
Was it an accident? Did they mean to do it?
There are 10 different questions you could ask.
None of them are asked. None of them are answered.
The less we ask, the better.
Yeah. It's like, I, why do you think they did it?
I don't know. Anyways, you guys didn't form a religion around this or anything.
Did you like this as a solvable problem for your society?
And you haven't been like beaming children into the middle of it, did you? Like this is a solvable problem for your society. And you haven't been like beaming children
into the middle of it, did you?
We honor his sacrifice.
What?
I can understand how to stop beaming children
into the middle of this generator would be a scandal
at this point, because he never want
to be the family of the last child
that got beamed into your mistake. Like there's the family of the last child that beamed into your mistake.
Like there's the relief of the family whose child
is like next on deck,
but the family that like literally just sent little Timmy
down to the reactor, they're gonna be pissed.
The family of the last child are not going to become friends
or be comforted by the family of the child on deck.
You can keep your casserole. Speaking of children, Adam, friends or be comforted by the family of the child on deck.
You can keep your casserole.
Speaking of children, Adam, we cut from this scene to a young Tom Perez playing boats while getting scolded by his asshole,
admiral father, that playing boats is never going to get him into
starfleet.
You got to do your homework, kiddo.
No, Santa mind is going gonna play with a sailing ship.
I really admire the parenting style of Admiral Paris.
I think I'm gonna take a page from his playbook
when I raised DeRone.
Yeah, keep the model ships out of his hand.
Yeah.
I'm looking up this child actor, Randy Reiner.
Has an IMDB page. Yeah. I'm looking up this child actor, Randy Reiner. Has an IMDB page.
Yeah.
Can you guess how many credits?
How many credits add them?
One credit.
This is it.
One credit only.
He's a Gold Star actor.
Wow.
That's amazing.
Gold Star Star Trek actor.
I was looking up Ben Livingston, the guy that plays Berkis.
He's still working all the time.
He was in Manifest.
He's in only murders in the building.
Yeah.
He's in a ton of stuff all over the place.
Crazy.
I only don't want to do it.
Coffee black, make it yourself.
I'm trying to help you see this opportunity to grow.
Make it yourself.
Tiny Tom Paris turns into old, it unshaven Tom Paris in the brig
and he gets woken up by Harry Kim.
Yeah.
Harry Kim is here at the half time of Paris's solitary confinement.
He's been allowed like a couple of minutes
to give a little pep talk.
You know what's crazy is they were in jail together.
Remember that episode? Yeah. I do remember that the jail with the tubes
They did some hard time together, man. They did Kim doesn't bring that up. Yeah, too difficult to talk about
Yeah, he doesn't bring him up a pack of food
Yeah, Paris asks at this moment in time
20 days into a sentence, how his girlfriend is.
Yeah. Yikes. It seemed weird that she's not the one that comes to see her, right?
She's busy with work, Ben. Got a lot of engineering to do.
Does this 30 days sentence allow for conjugal visits?
Do you think that's why they didn't do it was because it would be so
obviously like that would raise the question of conjugal visit to the level
that you just can't have that distraction.
Yeah.
Cause that's really like the episode.
If you know, the second, the idea of conjugal visits gets raised.
Like how do you, how do you have the scene where you show the graphic of the ocean getting sucked off the surface of conjugal visits gets raised. Like how do you have the scene
where you show the graphic of the ocean
getting sucked off the surface of a planet?
That's not the kind of sucking off
we're interested in at that point.
Now, it's all we can think about.
Yeah, I know the feeling.
What is this scene, Ben?
Is this tough love, Kim, or is this Kim kind of being a jerk?
Like, Kim knows how bad Paris has it with his dad.
Why is he going all in on the letter thing?
Yeah, I mean, I kind of got the feeling that Kim felt
it was like the best therapy for some,
if he's, I mean, if he's got the time, you know,
like maybe just finish the letter.
I don't know, man.
You gotta be careful trying to therapy other people. I mean, I don't, but most people do. Yeah. I'm good at it. Kim's like, hey, maybe you
should finish that letter and also push out some more chefs. Yeah, look at those
flabby arms. You're telling me you're doing a hundred a day? No fucking way. Yeah, ask Nielix to put more protein in the Leola Roots too.
Yeah.
And not that kind of protein, gross.
Paris basically kicks Kim out of the brig.
Thanks for the visit, Harry.
Which is a moment that isn't referred to later in any way.
Like, I hope there are, right?
Yeah.
It's pretty intense to be like alone for that long.
And then the first visitor you get
be like, I could do better.
Yeah.
We go back in the past again and the McLaughlin group.
If you want.
Has Berkis asking Jane way for tech meant for deep sea missions.
He's like, great.
That thing you did with the Delta Flyer, very impressive.
Maybe you could give us some of that so we can do our own TPC missions.
The tentators will give you everything you need.
And then BLT gets up and she's like,
yeah, we also figure out a way to replicate oxygen
so you don't need to keep fucking your ocean up
and straining your equipment like that.
You know, like if you're going to destroy your planet,
you probably want to replicate instead of destroy it, right?
Berkus gets up from the table in this moment and he's like, all right, cool, thanks for the meeting. And BLT is like, hey, you probably want to replicate instead of destroy it, right? Berkus gets up from the table in this moment and he's like,
all right, cool. Thanks for the meeting.
And BLT is like, hey, you forgot that iPad full of incredible information.
Now I'm good. Captain, yeah, I wish you a safe journey.
Doesn't want it. No, it doesn't want to take that to the council.
Yeah. And this is starting to look unsavory for Berkis. Like what is Berkis
doing with his domestic policy? If like, if he is literally just overseeing like making
a diplomatic contact with an alien starship that fixed the planet temporarily, like he
should have like a big political mandate. Like, there should be a huge win that he could be able to go back and like,
lead his people into a new era.
It's just a failure of leadership with Berkis.
What makes this difficult to stomach
is that this would seem to be a,
I don't know what they are economically,
but they do not seem to be a capitalist society.
And so... No capitalist society. And so-
No capitalist society, where's hats like this?
The effort required to change the way a society does this
sort of energy making.
Yeah.
It doesn't seem to be the same.
Like there's no, there's no like,
well, the business interests of our planet
will never go for changing their energy policies.
Right.
That's completely absent.
It only seems to be up to whether or not Berkis wants to do it because he's been given
the answers.
And the answers are free.
Like what's replicating accidents?
Like who gives a shit?
Like let's replicate all the accidents we want.
I think this has a lot to do with the whether or not I like the episode part of this episode.
It's like, did they do enough here to give Berkis enough of a reason other than Berkis just
being Berkis?
Yeah.
I mean, you're kind of as worked up as parrises in this moment and in the same way, which
is like, what the fuck are you doing, man?
Like, you just got a silver platter with the solution
to like some of the biggest ills of your society.
And Berkis is like, Brian in the veins, Brian in the veins.
I think a lot of episodes of Star Trek would take this scene
even longer and have Jane way be like, you know on our planet,
we had the opportunity for many years
to change our energy policy, and
we did not.
And then like make eye contacts with the camera, just like spike the lens.
How dare you.
Yeah, like draw a bolder line between the two things.
Yeah, but when Berkis leaves, Paris is in trouble with Janeway.
She's like, Hey, can you knock it off like jumping over my back and, you
know, taking your complaints directly to this guy while I'm trying to diplomacy with him?
Like, this shit needs a lighter touch. What are you doing?
Mr. Paris, are you still wet from that mission? Because your chair and my back are soaked.
This is a good scene though. Janeway's got to do this, right? Like she jerks the leash.
Don't just do that in our meetings.
You know how our meetings go.
I'm the leader of the meetings.
Yeah, so jerk the leash, but she's like next time
I'm going to put one of those pinchy collars on you
so that when I jerk the leash, you really feel it.
She's like, this is Star Trek
and we can't just make these planets do what we want.
Maybe in TOS, but not now.
So, Paris Gozen has a black and white bum out on the set of his captain pro-time game.
And BLT comes into the holotech and has a seat next to him.
And, you know, like, let's him get it off his chest
The frustration that he has with the political situation on manja
I just can't get over manja
I'm sure I'm wrong. I don't need to correct me like save your tweets
I don't even check Twitter anymore. Okay save it
You've said that over and over again, Ben. We get it.
That I don't know what I'm talking about
or that I don't check Twitter.
We know your personal feelings about Twitter.
Yeah, but also like literally know that I'm wrong
and I don't need to be corrected.
Does BLT know what she's doing here?
Nudging Tom into rogue territory.
You could read this as BLT fucking around with him.
Like, yeah.
Who knows what we are?
Maybe we're together, maybe we're not.
I don't know what you do in the holodeck
with the Delaney sisters.
I mean, I saw how they were dressed.
I mean, it seems like maybe inappropriate
if we're supposed to be like a couple or whatever.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
I think the answer is she does not know what she does.
But the consequences that Paris runs to the transporter pad before Riga beams away and
it's like, look, we got rules about interfering with other societies.
But one way around that is we could do some rhetorical needle threading.
And I could sort of talk about things without looking at you and then you could kind of make it clear that these are things that you're interested in.
Does it violate the prime directive to like tell someone the loophole, the prime directive. Paris is back on each and earth when you wanted to hire a sex worker,
but you thought was maybe a cop.
You'd have to do things like put the money on the dresser,
but not say what it's for.
Yeah.
And you have to say you're a cop if you're a cop, right?
You know, things like that.
So you see what I'm getting at, Riga, when I talk about those moments in But you have to say you're a cop if you're a cop, right? You know, things like that.
So you see what I'm getting at, Riga.
When I talk about those moments in Earth's history,
and Riga's like not picking up on it.
And Riga's like, not picking up on it.
And Paris is like, all right.
Riga's like, so wait, do you want to pay me for sex?
I want to solve your planet's problems, Riga. No, but do you also want to have sex with me?
And he's like, yes, I mean, of course, but that's not the transaction I'm trying to do
right now.
Yes, but I can't pay for it.
That's the prime directive column B. Oh my God. That's the prime directive column B.
Oh my God, that is the prime directive, isn't it? The prime directive is not getting caught paying for sex.
It's a metaphor.
A metaphor.
I'm giving you an order.
I'm giving you an order.
It's bad under spirit.
I'm giving you an order.
I'm giving you an U have just crossed the line.
Instead of beaming rega down, they head to the Delta Flyer.
And we get the announcement from Tuvac on the bridge that an unauthorized launch is now
leaving the shuttle bay.
And they have plunged into the ocean before Voyager can do anything about it.
Janeway is on FaceTime with Berkis going like, I like, I, yeah, they've gone Rouge.
I have no idea what they're up to,
but I'm betting it's not great
for the oxygen production facilities on your planet.
When Riga goes rogue, is it called going roguea? Yes. That will be not. Yeah.
That's a very offensive term in NK-Gemisin novels.
So be very careful using the word roga.
Uh-oh.
All right.
I'll never remember that.
Underwater bin, the Delta flyer has avoided torpedoes being shot at them.
And we learned that they have a missile on board.
Were you surprised to learn that they had a missile on the Delta flyer that they were going to use
for this mission? I think that they talked about it. It's like the the board enhanced weapon systems
include missiles. I could have used a little more about that. I'm surprised that this is the
first year hearing of it. I'm almost positive.
They talked about it in the Build the Delta Flyer episode.
I was really paying attention, but clearly I wasn't.
Yeah, you thought.
So you've given the people that work on the oxygen mining plant five minutes to evacuate.
And Berkis is like telling the captain about this and she's like, what can
you do it? Like we'll stop them. But can you get your people evacuated just out of an
abundance of caution? And he's like, well, yes, but that's not the point. I was like, that's
amazing. You can evacuate in five minutes. This is huge. What would it look like politically
if I ordered them to do that? There's like a little window of opportunity they talk about,
which is that the Delta Flair has to like rise to a certain shallowness to fire its missile.
Launch depth, Ben. Yeah, and they're going to use one of their precious photon torpedoes to kill Tom Paris and stop this madness.
Janeway to go to is like, I just wonder if Tom Paris is torpedo worthy.
Yeah.
And two of us like, you should have bought an entire box of them at the store.
When you found out we were going to the Delta quadrant.
I mean, this plays out pretty quickly. Kim is like, are we going to kill Delta Quadrant. I mean, this plays out pretty quickly.
Kim is like, are we gonna kill Tom Paris?
And Janeway is like, absolutely.
Yeah.
She's like, he fixed his sideburns like I asked.
Yeah.
So we see this, this happens, man.
Like, this is not our birds crossing mid-air.
This is like, our birds smashing into each other.
Yeah, like a patriot missile.
Like say what you want about the security operation
to Vaca's running.
He fucking bullseye this missile from orbit.
Yeah, through water.
Through water.
Pretty amazing.
So impressive.
And the like resulting explosion knocks out the Delta flyer, too. Yeah, that's efficiency, man
They cut out the part where Paris shoots the missile and
He looks at Riga in the back and he's like watch your futures and
And then Riga's like looking at the screen behind him.
Yeah.
Riga is covered in goose bumps.
So we're back to where we started where Tom Parris is in the ready room, getting dressed
down by the captain.
But we see a little bit before the deep pipping portion where
she is like explaining why she's doing it.
There's coffee in the protocols that govern this crew.
Yes, ma'am.
And why he's lucky to have not been just turned over to the Mangian authorities.
We make light of this all the time. The act of pulling off a combat or whatever and how much that means, but the physicality of ripping off someone's pip.
Really means a lot and really hits hard in this scene and you see it twice this episode.
You never see anybody touch pips, you know? Yeah.
Like nobody ever like reaches up to their neck and like, you know, Chico Te is never like fiddling with a third pip while he's like giving somebody an order
to kind of underline.
It doesn't seem easy to do either.
Like she reaches across and there's not that moment
where like, oh, I got the other pip.
I met the one on the left.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I hope I got both of them that time.
When it's two full golds, it's like,
it's hard to tell which is which, right?
Yeah.
It is a rugged scene.
And as much as I like the scene of Chicoet
and Paris going toe to toe a couple episodes ago,
I love the scene of Janeway and Paris doing the same.
Yeah.
They're good like that.
It is really good.
B-Dunk's really brings a lot of,
like positive chaotic energy to this thing. Like I think his
performance as a foil for other characters is really steel sharpening steel. I love it.
I do too. It's not good for Tom Paris, the character, but it's good for everyone else to get
scenes with him. So he goes back to his quarters and he gets a call from his girlfriend.
Based on this call, he'll do his girlfriend. Yeah, she's like put the shaver back on the
charger, Bob. You're going to need to go on a second mission because we're going out
tonight. Leave a little stash for Mama.
Yes, ma'am.
And then he finishes his letter and maybe the most chaotic, unbelievable choice I have ever
seen a character make in Star Trek.
He saves it to his personal files and then has the computer set to automatically send it
when they're back in range of Starfleet.
What the fuck?
I do not like that idea at all.
Hey, keep it in drafts, Paris.
Yeah.
Just keep it there.
I can't hurt anyone there.
Make the decision like when your dad is actually around, you know.
No regrets in drafts.
That's what I think. Yeah.
Hmm, did you like this episode?
You know, I really used to get along with most of the time.
But I don't like bullets, I don't like bullets,
and I don't like you.
I love this too.
This episode was a real tease.
Waterworld Planet, really interesting and fun.
How Waterworld Planet almost totally ignored.
And I wanted more how instead of problem of the week,
I think that was, the how was tantalizing.
But God, a startling as it is to see Tom Paris
have his leash jerked super hard, and the reasons
for the jerking.
It makes me sad that he keeps doing this to himself, you know?
Like he means well, and he meant well here, but you can't do what he did.
You can't.
And Janeway had to do what she did.
In response. Like I don't know how long he's had to do what she did. Right. In response.
Like, I don't know how long he's going to be an Ensign.
I think that's going to make the power dynamic in the captain proton hollow,
fairly titillating, going forward. Yeah.
I think you're going to get the brain trainer set up on him.
And the Delaney sisters pumping away on that.
Yeah.
You know what I mean? Mm. But yeah, I think that's where I'm out with it. on him and the Delaney sisters pumping away on that. Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Mm.
Mm.
But yeah, I think that's where I'm at with it.
Just a super strong Tom Paris episode.
If you don't miss the things that this episode could have been
with the water planet, which I think I just craved a little bit
more than what we got.
What about you?
I feel largely similar to you.
I think that the stuff about the water planet being as tantalizing as it was was a real
strength to me.
As much as like the there's a banger and Paris is getting knocked around in the brig and
we never find out what that was or who they were in a fight with or what was going on is a strength to me.
Like, this is the world of the show.
Like this is, like this stuff is happening all the time
whether or not we get an episode about it.
And sometimes the Voyager doesn't have time to find out
what the real deal is with the water planet
because they gotta get home.
And like I think that...
Yeah, it's still just water to the voyage
or like, there's anything that important to them.
It's not like the Tyrion.
Right, there's not coffee in that water planet.
No.
I think that that's kind of an interesting shift
that we see from like earlier seasons
where they might have spent more time on that stuff.
But I think that this episode is so laser focused
on being a major character shift for Paris
and trying to interrogate how that happened
and why it happened.
And I think it's really well justified in that respect.
Even if you feel like the, I love old,
tiny sailing ships is a retcon
of the characters, which I think is a fair point.
Like, I don't think we have ever heard him talk
about old, tiny sailing ships before this episode.
Yeah, but it couldn't be hot rod garage car planet.
You know, that would be more in keeping with Paris's interest.
Yeah, it's not like they went to maybe internet cult car world.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think I like this episode and that scene with him getting unpipified is so memorable.
Yeah.
Do you think Janeway just throws the pip into the waste paper basket next to her desk?
Yeah, because you don't want to like accidentally, you know, if that ends up in like a bowl
of peanuts and you accidentally eat it, you can break it tooth, you know.
I hope those pips are going, concerned going forward.
Like I hope they're actually not disposed of and kept in a place that maybe when it's
time to give them back to Tom Paris, like it's the same pip.
Oh, wow. Or something, you know, it's like kept give them back to Tom Paris, like it's the same pip. Oh wow.
Or something, you know?
It's like kept under an illuminated like dome in Janeway's office.
So every time he goes in there, he has to look at it.
Like all that hair that Kurt would Smith kept on his time travel ship, you know?
Is this a hair doll?
You know, if you could turn back time and undo what you did on that water planet mission,
maybe you'd get your pip back.
Until then, it's living in this triangle.
Yeah.
Well, you want to see if there's anything in the priority one inbox?
Yeah, I know where those live.
Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel.
Need a supplement?
A supplement?
A supplement.
A supplement.
Yes, extra.
The interest alone could be enough to buy this ship!
Ben, our first priority one message is of a promotional nature and that message goes like this.
Ben Adam in the FOD's Humanist Track is a new Star Trek podcast exploring the humanism
of Star Trek.
Humanism has been at the core of Trek storytelling from the beginning baked into the very essence
of the franchise by the great baker of the galaxy himself, Jean Roddenberry.
FOD's will have to slingshot around the sun because Humanist Trek starts all the way
back in 1966
with the original pilot the cage.
We're still in TOS season one, so it's easy to get caught up if you start now.
Thanks fellas!
So the call to action is to visit humanisttrec.com and then listen to and subscribe to the podcast wherever you get your podcasts.
That sounds great!
Yeah.
This is a podcast hosted by Sarah Ray and Ali Ashmead and this is an area that I wish I knew
more about.
Finally, a Star Trek podcast from Gene Roddenberry's point of view. I just think that we need infinite diversity and infinite combinations
in our Star Trek podcasts and one exploring trek from the Gene Roddenberry point of view
is just long overdue. I like the idea of this humanist trek.com is where you can find more
information or search that title where the podcasts are.
I remember the documentary we watched
about the creation of Star Trek,
the next generation had a lot about how Gene Roddenberry
really like wanted to focus TNG on humanism
and the stuff he'd learned about that
in the years since he made TLS.
So you can probably answer this question off the top of the dome way easier than me.
Like, what is humanism as it relates to Star Trek?
I mean, humanism is, I think basically the idea that human rights are like the paramount
ideal, like ahead of like, deism, basically.
Yeah.
Like, for example, there are groups that are like
sort of organized like religions. There's like the secular humanists and the like there's
secular humanistic Jews as well who you know gather like weekly and like talk about ethics and things
but also like are explicitly talking about those things in terms of like the life of human beings
being the most important thing in the world
and not like the life of a deity
or like exalting anything.
Right.
So, I mean, I think that that like really is baked
into Star Trek the idea that like we've left
all that nonsense behind years ago
and sure, humans' highest goal is to like better themselves
and not like try and make money and shit.
Yeah, so yeah, I think this sounds like a great podcast and
Best of luck to humanist trek. It sounds like a great show. Yeah
Our next priority one message here at them is from Joanna. That's two Gabe goes like this. Hey
Hermano my favorite part is immortalizing your birthday with a P1.
I'm so glad you are born and that you've made an FOD out of me. May this year bring you
a kind of joy that can only be embodied by a drunk Shemot. Lots of love from your little sister.
Happy birthday Gabe! Happy birthday Gabe! Happy birthday!
And thank you for putting Johanna onto the show.
Yeah, siblings helping siblings.
Become FOTs.
Feels good.
Bringing families together.
Yeah, I love that shit.
Put it in my veins.
This show does some kind of good.
Ben, our final priority one message is from Adam in SF.
It is to all P1 virgins everywhere.
Message goes like this,
When I waited years to buy my first P1,
I had no idea how exhilarating it would be to hear my message read on air.
Now, it's the only way I can get my pair of social relationship with Ben and Adam up over the top
And when I listen to a nap without one of my p1s, I'm like
God fucking damn it. I wanted my p1 to be in this fucking episode And this is an episode that has other fucking p1s and people getting fucking birthday messages
And promoting your fucking Star Trek podcast and I don't get shit
they don't see anything that I wrote
and paint them to say with my money
what the fuck
Ben
No give it to ya
God
Yeah man
Ben
No give it to ya
He don't give it to ya
Try it
There's coffee in that pray-or-do-one message
Wow
Hey
Adam and SF
I really hope you're able to get up over the top there.
Yeah, that one.
I certainly was.
Yeah, geez.
Way to go for it, Ben.
Ooh.
A little lightheaded after that one.
Gabe was wish a happy birthday, like a normal person, humanist trek, given a nice shout out, hopefully the recipient of a greatest
gin bump. And all P1 virgins everywhere reached climax.
It certainly did. Congrats for that. If you would like to end your P1 virginity or, you know, take another ride on this
a here mustache, go to Maximumfund.org slash Jembo Tron and set up a P1 today.
Hey, Ben.
What's that Adam?
Did you find yourself a drunk Shimoda?
I got to give it to BLT for the gentle nudge into criminality moment.
The, you didn't think she knew what she was doing.
I don't think she didn't know.
She could just break up with him
if she wants to him down this road.
Finally, he's out of my hair for 30 days.
I wonder if it was that, I wonder if it was like,
I don't really wanna be the like bad girl in the relationship.
Like Tom Paris was a fucking,
like it was in jail before we met.
But somehow he is the one that like is clean cut and like not constantly getting in trouble before we met. But somehow he is the one that is clean cut
and not constantly getting in trouble with the captain.
Like, fuck that.
I want him in trouble with the captain once
so that he doesn't have that to lord over me.
Like, she's playing fucking chess
with Tom Paris right now.
And she's kicking his ass.
I think if BLT has ideas about taking 30 day breaks from long term relationships,
I think she should just say so, you know?
I think maybe they need to be more able to deal with weird situations in their
relationship. They need to talk to each other.
Yeah. Yeah. Maybe they should get stranded in spacesuits
in the middle of the void again.
Just, you know, see if that helps their relationship.
If you don't approve of the Captain Proton program BLT,
just say you would prefer he not play those kind of games
without you.
Don't encourage him to do something
that sends him to literal
prison. Yeah. Yeah. Really agree. How about you, Adam? Did you have a drunk Shmota?
I think the way Paris hits the wall and then the floor when the bangers strike as he's
in the break. This is such a strong B-Dunk's episode. I think you need another take of that
one. I just think it's a very
Austin Powers-esque, oh, I fell over, oh, I fell over again, kind of take.
I didn't quite believe it. And the doc is like operating on the back of his head.
When did he hit the back of his head? No. Yeah. So it's Tom Paris for that moment specifically, but maybe maybe that was drama, maybe that was him banging around inside the brig in order to get the doctor to come in
so that he could try to manipulate the doctor into getting some time away. Right. Maybe it was all part of the plan.
Maybe. All right, that is a less
Maybe. All right.
That is a less Shimoda-esque move than maybe it started out as.
That's interesting.
Yeah, maybe.
That's what I got.
I like it, Adam.
Well, why don't you head to goch.bizslashgame and I'll tell you a little bit about the next
episode.
It's season five.
Episode ten, counterpoint.
Janeway must find a way to hide her telepathic officers,
as well as 12 telepathic refugees.
That's it.
That's it.
That's the description of the episode.
Wow.
Yeah.
I like it.
Yeah.
Ben, I've gone over to Gachdapis slash game.
A game that for a hot minute
was non-functional and then we worked with Philippe Sobriero Craig Anderson and Andrew
Wong-Hoyer to get it back into online shape. Yeah. And really got to thank them for their help.
Yeah. Getting it back and working order. We really appreciate the, I mean, the three of them
have done this as a labor of love.
And the fact that that website works and looks great
and somehow it isn't a code error
that Adam constantly rolls ones
is something we hugely appreciate.
And we don't think them off and enough.
That's right.
Ben R, runabout is currently on Squarespace 17,
just one square ahead as a Quarxbar episode.
A few squares after that is the, his eyes uncovered.
Episode of Tamirion based episode.
You're required to learn as you play.
Roll.
Here's my roll.
Ben, I've rolled a three.
Two-la!
Oh boy. Did I win?
Harvey.
Which puts us on square 20.
It's a regular old episode for us.
Oh.
That's one of our favorite kinds.
Yeah.
I'm looking forward to dealing with the telepathy of sound mind and body and not doing metaphors
of any kind.
I think this is an episode related to an episode of Star Trek
Prodigy, if I'm not mistaken, right?
Oh, shoot, really?
I think something happened in the Star Trek Prodigy show
related to an episode of Voyager, and I did a quick bit
of research and found that it was on a future episode
that I haven't seen yet, and I'm just going to guess
that this is it, because it had to do with telepathic people.
OK, I'm into it.
Let's hope you're right about that.
People should listen to the Star Trek Prodigy run we did over on Greatest Trek, our smash-hit
new Trek podcast.
Yeah, Prodigy, more than just a kid show, I'd say. I got a lot of entertainment value out
of it, as an adult. Yeah, it's cool.
You could say the same about everything over at Greatest Trek.
A lot of entertainment value for adults.
Yeah, whether or not you're enjoying all of the new stuff
on Paramount Plus, we are.
And we're talking about it, making jokes.
Yeah, it's great.
It's a great show.
We gotta thank everybody that helped support the show
by going to MaximumFun.org slash join.
So that being up a $5 a month subscription
is easy as pie, get to access to monthly bonus episodes
and a huge treasure trove of old bonus episodes
about all kinds of fun stuff,
including a lot of Star Trek movies and TOS
and TAS episodes.
People would really like it.
Old tours, old live shows. Yeah.
A bunch of stuff.
Great stuff.
We got to thank Wendy Pretty, the producer of this show
who is editing just about every episode of this show these days.
She's great. We really appreciate her help.
We also got to thank Bill Tilly, the Card Daddy, who runs our social media accounts at greatest trek on
relevant platforms
Working with Bill on what new cool fun things we can do on social media if you've got ideas for
Cool stuff we could be doing with our social media accounts. Don't hesitate to drop into the DMs on those and make suggestions
Yeah, anywhere there are friends of DeSoto. You'll find hesitate to drop into the DMs on those and make suggestions.
Yeah, anywhere there are friends of DeSoto, you'll find the hashtags
greatest-generate-greatest-trek being used.
Well, so look out for your fellow FODs wherever you are.
We got to think Adam Magusia made our original theme music,
of course based on dark materials with card song.
Adam Magusia has had us on his podcast a couple of times,
Adam or Garcia podcast.
I've submitted videos to his YouTube channel a couple of times.
You might learn some stuff about cooking on his YouTube channel.
It's great stuff.
And he's a recent guest on an episode of Greatest Trek.
So, you know, the love is going both ways.
That's a great episode.
Yeah, I think.
And we're trying to put video of that on our YouTube channel.
So if you're interested in seeing videos of us,
that would be where to go.
And who wouldn't be?
Mm.
Look at us.
Yeah, looking.
OK.
See what our offices look like for real.
Uh-huh. You were a cop.
What else do we got to do at the end of an episode?
I can't remember.
I think that's it.
I think you hit them off.
Okay, well, with that we will be back at you.
Next week with another great episode,
Star Trek Voyager, an episode of the greatest generation
Voyager where Adam and I have to hide that we are in fact
telepathic and can read each other's
minds, but neither of us realizes that the other can read his mind.
It's like, how are you reading the mind and not getting that part?
You know?
That was totally inscrutable to me.
I do not understand what that was about. I don't really either.
You're so good at remembering the episodes we're about to watch.
I don't remember this one at all.
Well, hopefully that makes sense.
Yeah.
Nobody cares. You'll look at God of the universe, and you'll be caught up in life. You'll get to you, you'll look at God of the universe,
and you'll be caught up in life.
They make it, they make it so.
They make it so.
You'll look at God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of and supported.