The Greatest Generation - Premature Koon-ut-so'lik (VOY S3E16)
Episode Date: March 14, 2022When Ensign Vorik gets fresh with the chief engineer, his blood boils like a man who’s been freshened up by Kes. But when he puts his horny on main, he spreads a little bit onto BLT—with disastrou...s consequences for crew safety! Was the Bieber thing just a phase? Why aren’t Starfleet officers allowed to wear jet boots anymore? If Kevin Uxbridge wrote a book, who would be his ghostwriter? It’s the episode where we reveal we’ve been playing Rock Paper Scissors the entire time.Exchange scarves for goods at PodShop.bizSupport the production of The Greatest Generation.  Friends of DeSoto for Democracy.Friends of DeSoto for Justice.Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Caretaker!Music by Adam Ragusea & Dark MateriaFollow The Greatest Generation on Twitter, and discuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen!The Greatest Generation is now regularly streaming on Twitch.Facebook group | Subreddit | Discord | WikiSign up for our mailing list!
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Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel.
Hey friends of Disodo.
Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor
actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry.
If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join
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Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production
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Welcome to the greatest generation.
It's a Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys who are a little bit embarrassed to have
a Star Trek podcast.
I'm Ben Harrison.
I'm Adam Pranica.
How are you doing today, Adam?
I'm chasing a wet puppy around the house.
I just got back from another poorly executed trip to Vegas.
It wasn't poorly executed on your part. It was maybe poorly executed on the
airlines part. Yeah, it's the time of year been when I go to Vegas for a very
brief amount of time to place one super bowl bet. And by the time this
episode comes out, we'll know if I have won a lot or won a little.
That's the whole reason I do this thing. It's a guaranteed profit. It's very, very quark-like.
Wow. So there's a way to make money in Vegas, that's what you're saying.
There is, if you've spent the entire football season playing a fantasy sportsbook league and it all leads up to one final game.
And if you bet the Super Bowl one way in your fantasy league and bet it the other way in
real life, you're able to guarantee a win irrespective of the outcome of the game.
So one of these two bets is not being placed in Las Vegas.
It's placed among friends.
Yeah. Okay. So that's that's where placed in Las Vegas. It's placed among friends. Yeah.
Okay, so that's where...
Yeah, exactly.
Where do you stand to gain the most in Vegas?
That's a great question.
So the fantasy sportsbook league
like takes a buy-in, like any fantasy league,
you throw in to the league and then you're like...
That's the part that would have me not willing
to participate right there.
That bit where you part with your own money.
I've seen it.
I've seen what happens when you buy into a gamble.
Yeah, it doesn't make you happy.
I don't care for it.
So you buy into this league and you play the entire season
as if it were a real sports book.
You're choosing teams against the spread
and what have you all throughout the season. And if you end up in the top couple of positions, you know,
it keeps track of your wins and your losses. Right. And if you end up near the
top, you have a chance. This is the last game of the year, the last game of the
season. If you win the league, you win the pool and all of the buy-ins that have
taken place. Wow. So there's no like second place,
there's nobody like get the little bit
for the trouble.
The top five places pay.
Wow.
But I'm in second place.
But you could move into first it with the result
of the super ball.
Correct.
So the top five places pay and my being a-
Are you gonna get sued by Major League football for saying Super Bowl over and over again
Oh, we're gonna have to bleep all that out. We just need to come up with a funny sound that we can use every time we say the word Super Bowl
So yeah, I have found myself in the fortunate position of being near the top of this fake league
Wow, and it allows me to place a very real bet in a place like Las Vegas on the other side
so that I have a chance of winning both bets or just one.
But even if I win just one, I will come out ahead on the whole deal because what I will
have won will supersede the buy-in it took in the fake sports book league.
Wow.
Buy a lot.
Wow. Wow. By a lot. Wow.
Man, so it's a big enough amount that the flights to Las Vegas and risking your health
and your family's health and the health of all the other people on that airplane is worth
it.
I mean, when you put it that way, it really makes me sound like a dirt bag.
I think it'll be far more interesting to hear how this went than the terms I was playing
under.
Like, I don't know if you've ever done a one day in Vegas situation where you don't
stay the night.
No, I don't think I have.
But it was kind of fun.
In that it felt like a business trip, you know?
Right.
I mean, in some ways it was
Yeah, you went there to get some money. I never have to go back to to collect to no I don't have to do that. They'll put that in the mail. Yeah
That's still put your chips in the mail that part of it is fine
But I mean I would want to go back to collect right? That's another reason to go. I love going to Vegas
Wow back to collect, right? That's another reason to go. I love going to Vegas.
Wow.
I was great.
I was great about it.
I never took off my mask inside or on the plane.
Wow.
I had it.
You stayed sealed up the entire trip.
I sealed up my face the whole time.
I took eats and drinks outside when I wanted them.
I played like 90 minutes of Crap's
on the video Crap's board that I love,
the rolled-in Crap's and then I left.
You cleared out any potential upside by losing it Crap's for 90 minutes?
I want it Roll-Dewin Crap's. Wow.
I took two work meetings.
You did take work meetings.
I took one in the airport with you and producer extraordinaire Wendy and one with you and creative director, Nick Dymor, on
the grounds of the Flamingo hotel. I was looking at Flamingo as well. I talked to you and Nick.
I was wondering what those background noises were. Wow. Well, I hope whatever the ideal
outcome is happens for you, buddy. You know what? what I should say it I should say it on the show
so when oh yeah this is many weeks after so everyone knows it. People will know how you did. If the
Rams win by less than six I'll win both sides of the bet. Wow. And then I hopped on a plane,
got right back home, drove home, slept in my own bed. Basically three hours in Vegas. That's amazing.
This would happen to me.
If I wasn't Jewish, I would cross my fingers for you, buddy.
Oh, is that a thing you're not supposed to do?
Yeah, that's for Christians.
Really?
I think so.
I'm learning so much about Jewish culture from you.
Now that I've married into it.
No tattoos, no finger crosses, huh? Yeah.
No crosses of any, oh, it's the cross thing, isn't it?
Like, is that?
Yeah, it's a cross thing.
Oh, huh.
Think.
I don't know how to, I don't know how to make a star of David
out of my fingers, but it seems hard.
Oh, jeez.
We're gonna need to flash that to get into,
get through the door to ceremony, right?
Yeah, yeah.
That's why I keep getting kicked out of our midst of that and other reasons. Right.
You're not on the invite list.
Nobody here knows you.
Well, then it kind of seemed like a gamble to do a con far episode and
Star Trek voyage, you didn't it?
Hmm. Yeah. What? Hmm, yeah.
What a pivot, Adam.
I mean, how do you do it when you're so far away from home
and you got a couple Vulcans on your ship?
It's a great question, a question that we finally get to answer
in this episode.
It's season three episode 16, Blood Fever.
Reaver, of course.
Unless you've got something a little bigger in your torpedo toots,
I'm not turning around.
A lot of potential DNA being swapped in this episode, but a lot of interesting intershow DNA.
Yeah.
Being traded around because Andrew Robinson is the director of this episode.
Playing simple, Gary.
And this episode draws a ton on TOS stuff.
Yeah.
So, yeah, very cross-franchise energy in this episode.
The Voyager is in orbit of what appears to be an uninhabited planet.
That seems like it's got quite a lot of galocyte, which is something they're really excited
about.
They could rebuild their whole engine block apparently. I love the idea of contextual excitement and start trek.
Because as soon as someone drops the word galisite,
the bridge crew just erupts.
Galisite, we've got galisite here.
It's very exciting.
The warp coils could use a loob job with this stuff.
Turns out, is what you need.
I mean, they talk about the ship as having taken a lot of damage in the last two years,
and it didn't really look like a ship that's like limping around.
No.
No, but did they give any thought at the beginning of this series of like,
are they going to, you know, distress the ship, you know, bit by bit over time?
Well, a lot of people fall for this,
Ben, because they only see the part of the ship
that's above the water line.
And they don't see the damage below.
Oh, yeah.
So many barnacles on the voyage at this point.
It's like the iceberg of a starship here.
You don't know what's going on.
The part of it that's in subspaces completely fucked up.
And that's why they say like when you meet someone out in the world, like you never know
how fucked up their subspaces.
Right.
You know, treat everyone nicely.
Yeah.
You never know what someone's subspace is going through.
Yeah.
Dakota asks a great Star Trek question in this scene that too few people ask in an episode,
too few people ask in a season or in a series even.
Is there anyone in the area who might consider this their property?
Guys, are we stealing?
This is kind of stealing what we're doing here.
He's there to represent the indigenous perspective and the...
The writer of my character knows of stealing the colonizers never
Never asked the question am I stealing right now right but but Dakota might yeah, so yeah
There's they do some scans and there are ruins on the surface, but nobody lives there now and
Squadders rights, right. Yeah, that's what they're working with
salvage rights, mm-hmm Janeway they're working with. Salvat rights.
Janeway puts BLT on the gig.
She's going to put a team together
and get us some of this galocyte.
This is going to be a big away mission coffee wise.
There's coffee in that galocyte.
It's a different kind of away mission too
because it's not just about sending, like,
what's that big, what's that claw thing that you see on an unconstruction site?
A bucket loader?
Oh yeah, like a backhoe?
Yeah, it's not like that.
You get the sense when the away team beams down that it's like, whatever they can fit in
their backpack is probably sufficient for the job.
I know they say something about a megaton of Galasite.
And I'm like, three guys is not gonna be enough.
Right.
I bring back a megaton, right?
Yeah.
Unless I, unless a megaton is like less than a ton.
I don't know.
Anyways, this Galasite is located in existing mind shafts.
There was a, I guess a Galasite mine on this planet
that's been abandoned. So that's where they're gonna be going. It's a, I guess a gala-side mine on this planet that's been abandoned.
So that's where they're going to be going. It's a spulinking expedition. And Belana is
in engineering talking with Ensign Vorich about the stuff that they're going to be doing
on this mission. She mentions that Tom Paris, famously a great rock climber and Vorich takes exception to the idea that
Paris would have the better rock climbing reputation on the crew. Or anyone would be better at anything
than Vorich. Yeah, that Belana would mention any male. Yeah.
It's basically, he hasn't even gotten to his proposal and he's already a jealous husband.
basically, he hasn't even gotten to his proposal and he's already a jealous husband.
I mean, I think he sees the writing on the rock wall here.
Once BLTC's Paris' climbing ability,
the Boric's gonna lose her to him.
So he's gotta jump, he's gotta do the Kunutsu leak now.
Yeah, and this is the critical error here.
You can't have premature canutsalic. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean like Dan's average always advises fuck first, but canutsalic later. Yeah.
This proposal does not go well, Ben, because it kind of goes something like,
no, that we have clocked out. Would you marry me? Yeah. I do not hear wedding bells kind of an ugly reaction from BLT who
doesn't use any of the normal reasons why a relationship might not work.
She kind of puts the fingers of her hands together and goes like, how would
that work with you and me?
As two different species.
She eventually is sort of trying to give him the brush off
and he gets pretty emotional with her
to the extent that he like puts his hands on her
and she's like, I've heard of a Vulcan Hello,
but this is ridiculous.
Hey, you can't do that.
There's something so much more violent about a Vulcan putting their hands on you than any
other type of alien putting their hands on you for some reason because they're so controlled.
Right.
Like seeing a Vulcan out of control is just extreme.
It always slaps when they do this in Star Trek.
This is a very upsetting scene. She winds up having to punch him in the jaw.
And that is how she gets him off her and how we go into the theme song.
After the theme were in Six Bay, where the doc is scanning Vorich's busted jaw,
while BLT is there to watch, I love this. She's like, this guy attacked me. I'm so concerned about
him. No one asks BLT if she wants to press charges. I think Tuvac should be in the room
for this, right? I think he is notably absent in this moment specifically. I thought this
was interesting. Like, it's a very upsetting scene at the beginning of this episode.
We've seen scenes this upsetting before that were like switcheros, like the Tuvak choking
out Nelix, but this is a man attacking a woman element of it and the fact that he explicitly
made it about a romantic overture element of it that make it doubly upsetting. And I think you're right. Like it doesn't,
I think it like it sticks in our contemporary crawl because like that is our reaction to like how
you deal with a situation like this is like involve like an authority figure and well done.
Only that like the. God, the the decades or maybe even centuries of history where this is just
described as a misunderstanding instead of an act of violence.
I thought it was so interesting how all anyone is doing is trying to figure out what is going wrong
between Vorik's ears that he would do this. Like nobody is like, Vorik is a bad person, full stop.
Everybody is like,
Vorik is not a bad person.
He made a mistake because something is going haywire
inside his head.
I think part of the reason that's happening
is because everyone sort of gets the idea,
like a lot is made in this episode about how little anyone knows about
Vulcan heat and how much Vulcans want to keep it that way.
But everyone knows enough about it that the docs description of things, like the diagnosis
that the doc gives, explains sufficiently for everyone what has happened here.
Yeah.
But only for the viewer, right?
Because like, Kess and VLT have to leave the room before the word PAN
far will even be uttered by the doc to Vorik.
And Vorik is like, oh, don't talk about it.
Yeah.
Sneaky Vulcans, they hate admitting when they're horny.
This is not Vorik's first episode, obviously, but this is the one where the actor
who plays him really does a lot of lifting. Yeah. And this episode and it really starts here.
His hair went back to pre-bebes look in this episode. Yeah, he's doing some experimentation
in how he looks as one often does when they're trying to get the attention of someone they like.
as one often does when they're trying to get the attention of someone they like.
So he's like, listen, this is really humiliating for me. I'm going to go back to my quarters and try some meditative techniques to see if I can clear
my system. The tax like, voric, we're like decades from being at home.
You do not need to do your taxes until we get, oh, I see. All right.
You go, you go do those taxes, buddy. Go do them real good.
I enjoy it. So, Forek kind of storms out of there after some pretty testy interactions with
Doc holiday and then Doc holiday brings TuVoc down finally to Six Bay to talk about this problem.
Yeah.
And TuVoc is just as reticent to discuss it.
He's like, listen, that's between Vorich and his tax documents, folder man.
Like, I don't want to get involved.
It's interesting how Vorich is an Ensign and TuVoc is a lieutenant.
And yet the lieutenant is the one that the dot takes greater umbridge with. Yeah. With the like veil of secrecy around this. He's really
emboldened to push back on what's going on here with two-vac and not with the
patient. But I guess that makes sense when you think of
Forek as being, you know, Forek doesn't need that on top of what he's going
through. Right. And presumably, Tuvac is like pond-fart a bunch of times now, and he's spent a lot of his
life among humans, so would presumably sympathize with their kind of lack of context for how
to deal with this?
The doc asks what's going to happen, because there's not much in the record books about
this, and Tuvac is like like look, there's three possible things
that can happen at the end of Vorex Pond, far one.
He can take a mate.
And that doesn't look likely,
because BLT doesn't seem like a willing partner here.
No.
Ritual combat where he fights all potential suitors for the mate,
or possibly even the mate themselves.
And two vok basically turns to camera and goes,
there is no way this happens on this episode.
Like the chances of this happening are very fleeting.
I wouldn't even consider, like,
forget I even said this.
Interesting directorial decision to have Tim Russ
make eye contact at the camera,
as he delivers that line.
And see intense meditation using the tax documents Tim Russ make eye contact at the camera as he delivers that line and see
Intense meditation using the tax documents that you have on your computer doctor
Have you ever seen a Vulcan with hair on his palms?
I got to get that
Not in the butcher's life number your mouth is
A greatest gen live show is something you don't want to miss why?
Well, it's a great opportunity to see me and Ben in person, but that's not all.
FODs from all over gather at these shows to cosplay, to do pre and post show hangs,
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in a lot of great places. Go to GreatestGenTour.com to get more info. That's GreatestGenTour.com for
dates and ticketing information for the Sherry Reembarishment Tour.
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These clouds are really freaking me out.
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And boy, what do I?
These giraffes do not smell good.
No, they do not, and they've such short neck.
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We are podcasters, so it's different.
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I've got to get this.
Not not, it's just a truck.
So it's fuck fight or master pay.
Yeah.
And those are the only treatments.
It's really the like rock paper scissors of puberty, right?
Like.
Hey, man, it's the rock paper scissors of the greatest generation.
Yeah.
Hey, we get some new away team outfits in this episode.
I am always excited for new outfit day on Star Trek.
It's big fun.
I like these outfits.
They're sort of form fitting.
They've got some almost mirror universe texturing along the underside of the arms and
down the legs.
Looks like there's some stretchy parts to allow for the climbing a little easier.
BLT does not want to talk about these uniform soap in.
No, she really doesn't.
She's really on one.
She's in quite a mood.
She's very peppy, Nielix and Paris are the other two people on the mission and they
keep making like what's up with BLT kind of eyes at each other.
Yeah, she's way more type A than she usually is.
Yeah, we're just saying a lot.
On the surface, they find some ruins that aren't even that old.
These are ruins that are like less than 50 years old.
BLT's like, this is trash.
No one cares about ruins that are this young.
You know what people care about?
Galicite.
Let's get in those caves, guys.
I got an empty backpack that needs stuff with GALASITE.
It's not going to do it itself.
So into the caves they descend, and they're like lowering
themselves on ropes, shout out to Ethan Phillips, who like
delivers lines while actually hand over
and handing himself down a rope.
Yeah.
Well, it's really good.
No matter how real a holiday program they see, it just
gets your heart pumping like a genuine physical challenge. Did Starfleet outlaw jet boots
after Star Trek V? Got it. The scene really made me wonder why they're doing a rock climb
in the old school way. I don't know. Yeah, maybe Starfleet just wanted to put that whole
episode behind them. I mean, they talk about how their sensors don't really work great in these caves. And this drop
looks like one of those bottomless tunnels that you see people drop stones into on TikTok.
For my male audience. Maybe it's such that you would never use the boots here because you
can't see the bottom and you don't have sensors on it. This is a really deep rule, and it would be a shame for your jet boots
to give out halfway down.
Yeah, maybe it's safer to use regular cables.
I mean, the cables are no great shake safety wise
as we find out in this scene.
Yeah.
Fortunately, it is not a lethally deep hole.
Like, when the petons give way, it's just a like,
ow, I fell on the ground.
Yeah, I really did not size up the depth of this hole.
Like I thought I did because when Nelix goes off,
the cliff face, I was like, well, RSVP Nelix.
And it's like he fell off a ladder or something.
Like, rainfall, but not lethal.
Yeah, you didn't even break a bone.
Yeah. He's fine.
Yeah.
Might have a big bruise, you know?
You know he's fine because he's covered in alien snot
and he doesn't take off his tunic.
Again.
Ha ha ha ha.
BLT is super pissed at Nelix, though.
I would have been better coming down here alone.
She's basically pissed at both of them.
She feels like this mission has just already gone totally left and if she'd just done it herself, she would
have gotten it done properly the first time and she's gonna march off by herself. She's pissed
enough at Paris to give him a cling on Hickey first though. That's the sort of thing you want to
put a spoon in the freezer, get it cold and then apply it to the area.
Try to take the spot out, but you know, that never works.
None of those things work, Ben.
Not when I cling on, does it?
The parents are going to know.
Paris has just got to rock the taller turtle neck when he gets back into the regular uniform, I think.
That's what you got to do.
That is one advantage of the Voyager era uniform as the Hickey concealment opportunities it represents.
You know who probably has a great Hickey strategy is Harry Kim, but Harry Kim's nowhere to be found this episode.
You can't ask him anything. Where'd he go?
I don't know. I don't think you want anyone who's feeling pond far to be around Harry Kim because Harry Kim is going to satisfy all comers in that situation.
So built his storms off Paris reports up to the bridge and he does not abandon Mealix to to run after her.
I love.
He's like, yeah, while she's in this face fighting mood, I think I'm going to stick
with Nealix.
There's a lot about this scene that's unintentionally funny. Like I do love how
Paris kind of buries the lead on being bit. She bit you. But also we get a lot of shot
reverse shot of Paris on the surface and then they react on the bridge to what's happening.
And she code to get to very satisfying see it's not just me face. When he hears about BLT acting crazy at Paris,
like, see, I'm not the only one with a crazy girlfriend, right?
Yeah, yeah.
It's going around.
We also get a, these motherfuckers are gonna make me explain
Pondfar face from Tufak.
Oh, yeah.
That's right.
You can tell that he does not relish in that prospect.
They're gonna beam everybody up and do like,
is like, hey, I actually might know
what's going on down there.
And he goes down to Vortex quarters to ask him,
hey, did you accidentally meld BLT
when you were making your unwanted advance at her?
Vortex was like, oh shit, did I accidentally meld her?
And Vortex like, dude, I think you accidentally meld it her.
What's crazy about this scene is that they have to talk to each other so loud,
so that they can hear each other over the sound of the Vulcan porn.
That Vorik's watching.
Would you mind turning it down, Vorik?
Perhaps, close some tabs.
The screen is just naked people playing three-dimensional chess. Turning it down, Vorig. Perhaps. Close some tabs.
The screen is just naked people playing three-dimensional chess,
really loudly against each other.
Disvolcons having extremely logical sex.
Up, down, up, down!
I must moderate my pelvic thrusts,
so I do not blast faster than I wish to.
I will think about Margaret Thatcher
during this portion of the proceedings.
It turns out we learn in this scene
that pond fire may be a communicable situation.
It's catching.
It's catching like the naked now.
This is a theory that you advanced early on.
Like does a Velocon need to be careful
when they touch their dick?
Yeah. For meld reasons. Yep.cro need to be careful when they touch their dick? Yeah.
For meld reasons.
Yep.
They need to be careful when they touch anything for meld reasons.
It's true.
Pot holders should be part of their uniform, I think.
That's like a low key way to know that a Vulcan is experiencing pond fire, is if they
show up for work and they're wearing the pot holders.
Yeah, they're like, do you think you're going to be like directly
manipulating something in the warp core today to save the ship at the cost of
your own life? You know, I don't usually use the voice commands at my station
while I'm at work, but this week I'm working with these. Sorry. Hey, if I ask
anybody here to marry me, I hope you take that in the spirit that's intended.
This is what we need.
We need a very chill Vulcan to act as a like to we already have the control Vulcan.
I feel like that's too back.
And then we have a couple variables, which is Vorik and then this very cool Vulcan we've
come up with.
Chilok.
Chilok, the low-press Vulcan.
Chilok, even more chill than Spock's brother. The scientist didn't think it was possible.
Both Sybach and Spock do not talk of chillok.
Yeah.
Michael Burnham never brings him up either.
So two of us is like, hey man, I think you probably want to get back to your tax documents
folder and like really focus on that for the rest of the episode.
Yeah.
I'm going to see if I can clean up your mess.
And another away team goes down to the servers of the planet.
And I'm looking at all of these outfits.
They are stretchy.
They are form fitting.
Maybe all this pun far is happening because all the hot new fits on the Voyager crew.
You have a toy buddy.
I see that from your toy punch.
So the plan is to get Nielix Medevact
and send the rest of the group off to find BLT.
I love the Nielix getting hauled up on the rope.
Yeah.
And that was so funny. It's so insulting, I feel like. We're just going
to use the cablewitch, Neelix. Yeah, we're going to get you out of here the same way. Dennis
Nedry tried to escape Jurassic Park. And the one that you're extinct.
Black, black, black, make it, make it yourself. The old D has not been making great time in her trip through these mines.
She comes to a spot in the tunnel where she starts clearing away rocks and it reveals
a big power node and Paris is right behind her.
He has caught it right up.
And she explains to him like this thing is what's giving off the
Galisite readings.
It's like something's still on down here and it's made of Galisite.
Is it a lot more than we'll fit in that backpack, BLT?
Yeah.
If you're even interested in that anymore.
Well, she is like almost fixated on it because they're like cool ballana anyways.
Why don't you go back up to the ship.
You're clearly like having some feelings
and we need to get you chilled out.
We'll take care of collecting the galisite
and figuring out why this equipment is still on down here.
Why don't you head back to the ship
and she's like, you guys are trying to steal my discovery.
It's exactly what we need and I found.
Yeah, it's weird.
Part of Pond Fire is like taking professional credit
for things like as if that is something Fire is like taking professional credit for things.
Like, as if that is something that is sexually gratifying to a Vulcan.
Yeah, I mean, it is to a Klingon, right?
Yeah.
This is your source.
They are doing a little bit of a condescending tone in the way they're talking to her, like,
all right, be able to calm yourself.
We'll make sure to give you a plaque at our next McLaughlin group.
Honoring your great find of this galocyte. Try not to fuck the plaque.
You a little horn ball? I mean, fuck the plaque all you want. Just not in the meeting. Sure.
Yeah. Take it back to your quarters at the very least. This must be a very embarrassing moment for BLT,
more than usual because aliens have been listening in
on this conversation and they kind of appear
like an HR gagger situation,
like they've been in the walls the whole time.
And by moving, they sort of reveal their presence.
One deleted scene from this episode
was the predator homage where these guys back into the walls
and cover themselves in mud so that they'll blend into it.
Yeah.
They're like, what's wrong with her?
Is there first question basically?
I love the back story with these aliens.
It's like, yeah, the service was attacked, so we hid down here and we also covered ourselves
with mud to blend into our surroundings.
Do you have anything better than that as a tech strategy?
To go to it's like better than mud? I think we got something. That would yeah.
Like we didn't we wouldn't have come here if you know like honestly I wish you could have been
on the bridge earlier because I asked are we potentially stealing this stuff from anyone like if you could have seen it
You would believe me these mud covered aliens are like and what is with her and why is she so horny
Yeah, she coat is like we got a medical situation here
It's kind of hard to describe with the time that we've got and then like these alien pages start going off
And that's when they know an earthquake is about to strike.
There's a banger on the caves that is very dangerous and provides an opportunity for some of the aliens to disappear.
And Paris and BLT are like, they only two people left over after the dust clears.
So, looks like Chicote and Tuvaak have been abducted.
Uh-oh.
We've separated the dustbuster club.
Yeah.
It'll make for some interesting conflicts, I think.
Yeah.
I don't know if you interpreted it this way,
but like during the shake,
BLT starts like a Star Trek fighting
with one of the cavemen.
Yeah, because the cavemen puts his hands on her.
It's kind of... It seems like he was trying to to clear her away from the wall and she took it the wrong way.
Yeah, but she's very sensitive to touch after what Vorik did earlier.
Right, she's on Vulcan Mescalin.
At this point, BLT doesn't even understand or even know something is wrong with her.
And that's an interesting wrinkle to this whole thing.
It's not like when you're diagnosed with an illness,
you like, there's the moment where like,
you recognize that you are ill.
Yeah.
She is acting strangely,
but she does not view her actions as strange.
She's like, she asks Paris,
like why does everybody treating me
like I'm some kind of freak right now?
And he's like, I really want to explain that to you, but like, let's get out of the caves first.
Yeah. Yeah. Back on the ship, the doc has done something to voric to help his condition.
There's like a a metal like pair of briefs around him with like a lock and a cage in front.
in front. And he continues to emphasize that he may have some techniques to help him through his situation and proceeds to walk voric to the holodeck.
Voric at first wants to head back to his quarters and continue going for quote unquote the record,
but the doctor convinces him to hear him out on this other treatment regime
that he's come up with. He says, I'm calling this the Uxbridge treatment regime and presents
Vorich with a Vulcan babe in the Tikki lounge on the holiday.
Vorich takes great umbridge with the idea of doing a hollow.
The duck makes it clear that Foric should not yuck this kind of yom.
You know, there's nothing wrong with a healthy fantasy life, as long as you don't let it take over.
You call this healthy?
Maybe you give it a try? See what happens?
Take it for me, it can be incredibly satisfying on a very long time scale.
Which is something you may need to contemplate as a member of the Voyager crew.
Thursh begins my pitch.
Bedrath and tax documents, the Kevin-Uxbridge story.
We're disrupting the entire tax document folder industry.
I also the title of my business advice book. Now I lead me to head a ghost writer, I've not put pen to page in that way for quite
some time and I just felt that the language would be improved.
Ironically my ghost writer was a hushnuck.
A ghost hush-neck.
Right.
Vork eventually relents and is like,
all right, I'll fuck the hollow babe,
but, you know, I'm not gonna like it.
I kind of wondered if it like wouldn't work
because the holodeck can't simulate
the psionic element of Vulcan love.
Like if what he was doing when he put his hands on BLT initially was like
some kind of sex specific meld, you can't do that with a hologram, right? No, yeah, that's interesting.
No matter how real a holiday program they see, it just gets your heart pumping like a genuine
physical challenge. The actor who plays Taperra really pretty, really thankless job though.
Like, yeah, she just has to stand there.
Stand as completely still as possible and look at Vorik.
I don't want to watch him fuck bin.
I want to be clear on that.
But I wanted to watch some sort of interaction between them.
Right.
Any interaction.
But we don't get that.
Something about like every time you touch the warp core,
you're touching me.
Yeah, that always gets engineers going, right?
I swear.
I'm outraged by this.
Just the stuff.
Back in the caves,
Paris knows what biting someone on the face means.
Is this your idea of sex?
He tells BLT that getting back to the ship
is going to be her chance to fix how she's feeling
because she's not happy to be feeling this way. There's like a demonstrated
tension inside her. There's, there are like glimpses of her fighting this feeling.
Right.
But the feeling is stronger than her ability is to stop it.
And her feelings have now sort of focused themselves on Tom Paris. And she talks to
him about how she notices
when he's checking her out in the lunchroom
and how he clearly has unrequited feelings for her.
And she's like really making the case for like,
let's just get down right here right now, the two of us.
And Paris resists this.
And he says like, listen, nothing would make me happier.
I've been on a bit of a dry spell since, well, for a really long time, to be honest.
Ever since I got in the orbit of Harry Kim, doesn't this feel like an extremely heavy
lift for B. Dunks in the late 90s to plausibly act like a person turning down the advances
of a hot person?
Like I thought this was really well done by B-Dunks here to not ham and cheese this
part up.
Yeah, I agree.
And I think it is really to this character's credit the way he behaves in this scene because
I think a lot of other shows would have handled this moment in a really different, really
gross way.
Well, either really different or really gross or really stand up guy B-Dunks
and the after school special music sting
to emphasize the point that this is how you're supposed to act
with someone who's compromised
that you may be attracted to.
It really middles those two feelings in an effective way.
It does not feel didactic,
it just feels like good character development.
Right. And I like how he uses humor a little bit to diffuse the attention in the situation,
like self deprecating humor especially.
Yeah. And she's like, fine. Well, if it's not going to be you, then I need to get back
to the ship and do some fucking meditation. So let's get out of here. She storms off.
And the passage has caved in. And
she's like desperate enough that she wants to shoot it with a gun and he's like, please don't do
that. This cave is obviously unstable. He might be bringing it down on us. She's really being a
liability. She's even suggesting that they split up and he's like, listen, when has that worked
out well ever in the history of anything?
Speaking of split up, two Valkenshukete are in another area of the caves being interrogated.
That's because they've been taken hostage. The cavemen want to know about the capabilities of their ship.
They want to know about their phasers, about their tricorders, why Tuvac has a artificial bone in his arm.
We've got a lot of questions. Yeah, but Chico Tay finds himself in a position that
a lot of starfleets do in situations like this. There's a suggestion that the Sakari are a lesser
technological race of people. And so Chico Tay has some bargaining power here for their freedom.
Like, hey, it looks to me like you people covered in mud could do a little better than
covering yourselves in mud if you want to flee the people who attacked your planet.
Well, you said you people. What is it? What does that for?
For me and you people. The Galicite is basically just you've hung a lantern on your secret underground
settlement here. Yeah. And for whatever reason, Shikote had been wearing a jacket and he sort of
opens up one side of it and it's like, maybe I could interest you
in some of these pieces of tech
to help you with that camouflage going forward.
Wouldn't that sound nice?
His promise is like, we'll teach you how to do this.
You let us go and we'll never come back here.
We're gonna leave you alone.
We like really have no interest in fucking your shit up.
The story of this, Sakari tells,
I mean, there's not a lot made of it at the time.
He's like, yeah, we were attacked, we flee the service and went into the caves.
It seems like a story that Miriam Aliens have told before about being attacked by a superior
alien race, you know?
Like, you don't think much of it at the time.
We were at the bottom of the screen, at the top of the screen, there were a bunch of space
invaders, and they kept inching down and tried to shoot as many of them as we could, but eventually
they made it past the trees.
Yeah, it's a story as old as time.
So yeah, they've been living down here for decades just like hoping that the
space invaders don't come back and fearing that if they go back to the surface,
they might.
Yeah.
Another earthquake pops off.
Tons of bangers, boulder bangers is what they are.
Yeah.
It's dangerous to be down there.
It's dangerous to be down there.
The threats to their physical safety have only made the situation hornear.
And BLT almost convinces Paris to give in here.
She starts kissing on him and he starts kissing back
and then he does that thing and he pushes her away
and he says, no, we can't.
As much as I want to, we cannot.
I'm possibly too attracted to you, babe.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
To be honest, I already came.
And that's actually one of the
unstated advantages of these new uniforms is that,
boy oh boy, do they wake away the moisture?
Look at this, it's already flowing down the front of my pants.
Up on the ship, Doc Hollow Day comes back into the teaky lounge where he finds
voric like smoking a cigarette basically
Speaking of uniforms that don't wick
voric and repose still wearing his and it is just covered in sauce
He's like oh that was fucking great. Oh my god
You have no idea how much better I feel the doc looks over at Topara and she is just like, messed up.
You can tell that the Topara and Vorik really went after it because there are a few hairs
out of place on Topara and the broach she was wearing is slightly a skew.
So yeah, this is great news.
The doc wants to write medical papers about it,
but he's gonna have to change the name
to protect the innocent.
Or the not so innocent anymore.
He he he.
The doc is so excited about this
that he wants to pivot into sex doctor,
which is what he tells Captain Janeway.
And what I have to do is I have to rewrite that program and get the turtle faced
man to replace to Para in that role.
Jane was like, geez, Doc, like nice job, but
you're supposed to be a physician, not a pornographer.
I think we'd like it a lot more of our six pay, we're more of a general practice
situation. Yeah, not a pornographer. I think we'd like it a lot more of our six-bay or more of a general practice situation.
Yeah, not a dirty bookstore.
Hahaha.
Back in the caves, BLT and Paris are still stuck.
And BLT is deteriorating to the extent
that she can't even remember why they're there
on the planet to begin with.
And that's the moment that Chico Tebusin,
like the Kool-Aid man
through the rock pile and together they hike BLT out of the caves into the bright light of day.
He's like, what's that smell? Smells like somebody's been fucking in here. And Paris is like, sorry, that was me, we didn't actually.
The thing about that smell is I'm looking at your garment, Paris, and there's absolutely no
evidence that any fucking took place.
So clearly that is now what happened here.
So I guess this garment works as advertised.
And then they turn to camera, and then they super the logo for the company that makes
the onesie, and this has been a commercial for their product the whole time.
Have you been putting horny on cave?
Try Star Trek onesie. They come out of this cave and
Duac is like, all right, Paris, everybody, like you get a gold star, you resisted the advances of
a hot and horny woman who was not in her right mind. But medically speaking, if she doesn't
right mind, but medically speaking, if she doesn't get her rocks off right now, she is going to die.
So as your commanding officer, I am ordering you to get down with BLT.
This is another moment in the episode where if you don't play this exactly right, it is
a broad laugh line moment.
And I'm not saying that it isn't already with the connotation.
It's fucker die, Ben.
And Paris just stands there, you know, during.
He's not doing it right.
And this really aggravates BLT in the moment.
Well, what are you doing?
Enjoying myself?
The BLT's gonna teach him how.
You gotta make noises.
You gotta give as good as you get.
It's funny how virginal anyone would be
when getting it on with a Klingon, right?
Right. We've heard Worf talk about this.
Like, there is, there's an amount of violence associated
with Klingon sex that many species couldn't withstand.
And that has repeated in this episode.
I mean, there's also the double the holes situation too, right?
Like, Paris is working the double the holes situation too, right? Like Paris is working
with with a totally unfamiliar situation down there. He gets on top of her as they're rolling
around in the dirt and a hand grabs him from behind and flips him over and the camera swings up and a very, very angry Ensenvurik looms over him and
challenges him to a fight to the death.
You know what it's time for Ben?
RETURAL COMBAT!
It's crazy because Paris is like, I thought that was definitely off the table.
Yeah.
Too Voc.
And too Voc's like, I know, I thought the same thing.
I did not read ahead in the script.
I miss shocked as any of you.
I really regret emphasizing how unlikely this whole situation was back then.
Really makes me look like a fool. Vork has knocked out communications,
so they can't even like talk to the ship,
they can't bring in backup to try and stop this thing.
It's really like the Star Trek equivalent
of the Steel Cage match.
Yeah, it really is.
He's like challenging Paris to this fight,
and BLT is like,
fuck fighting Paris, fight me, motherfucker.
It's the PAN fire equivalent of being your own council and court.
Right.
Like, two buckets like, it is a highly unorthodox procedure, but I will allow it.
So we get a rematch from that original scene between the two of them.
This is pretty much the only way
we have any hope of resolving this at this point because obviously meditation wasn't working.
I don't think you could do this scene if you cut to a lot of react. And what that means is that
you need to stay with the action for the duration. And I really thought, like, this was an extremely high degree of difficulty scene to shoot and
cut.
And I thought it was done very well, like a really complex fight scene, and there are
sections of it that last for a pretty long time without any cutting.
It was pretty good, yeah.
And I mean, it's also just like such a tricky thing when you're staging a fight between a man and a woman
to both make it feel justified within the story and also, I think that they weirdly succeed
at like nobody is going to be mad at Vork for this.
You know?
I don't think it works the same way if he's a Klingon and she's a Vulcan.
I'll tell you that much.
Like I think there's some species us that's helping the situation here.
Yeah, it's kind of a remarkable scene in that way. And maybe just a testament to all of
the world building that Star Trek had to do over the preceding four series to make that
possible. I mean, I think the stakes are a big part of why this has to happen too, right?
When two of us says that both of them will die
without this fight, and that they only might die
from fighting, like weighing those two outcomes
means that this has to happen.
So I think it takes the gender disparity vibe
off the table, I don't know.
Well, and also crucially, be able to win. Right. So I think it takes the gender disparity vibe off the table. I don't know. Well, and also crucially, BLT wins. Right. So I mean, we were always going to bet on
BLT here, right? Right. Yeah. Even though Vulcans are supposed to have super heroic strength,
right? Yeah, they are. But so are Klingons, I think. Yeah. Yeah. When the fight is over,
it's like a spell breaks because their illness is done too at that point. Yeah.
It's wild how that happens.
This high-concept ritual combat really fucking works.
Yeah, makes you wonder why it's not a proposed solution to more problems, right?
It seems great.
Everything should be solved in the octagon.
Yeah. So we get a captain's log.
This all went super well.
Now that we're friends with the Sikari, we were able to trade them Galasite, concealment
technology for a big pile of Galasite.
And we cut back up to the ship where an awkward elevator ride takes place between Tom Paris and BLT. And this
starts with her feeling very much ashamed at having put it out there in the way she did.
And him sort of trying to feel her out on like to what extent was that the raging hormones and to what extent was that a feeling that is really happening for you
because I am
interested for the record way more nuance in this scene than just the
Hey, I was out of my mind there and I'm embarrassed about it and a person going. It's all right
I know you were out of your mind. It's it's fine, I don't hold it against you. More nuance because the big takeaway here is like showing a person your true self is what
close friends or potential lovers should feel comfortable doing. And when Paris says, you know, you could
show me your cling on side any time. In some contexts, it could feel like a past. Everything's not a hit.
People can make conversations without it being a hit. But it's also like, hey, we've known each other a long time,
and there's a big part of you that you don't feel comfortable
showing other people.
Like, I can be that for you when it comes down to it.
And I thought that was well done and well articulated.
It's a really nice bit of writing,
and I think just as nice is the sort of game
that she kicks at him as she leaves the elevator.
Yeah.
A very, a very cute little moment at the end of this scene.
Careful what you wish for the tenant.
This is the part where it turns flirtatious, I thought.
Yeah, there is a button on this episode that I did not see coming.
It's the captain and Chicoete back down on the planet.
And Chicoete has something important to show her,
another discovery that they found
when they were down helping the secari.
I love Chicoete being the master of dramatic tension here,
not telling Janeway what he wants to show her.
Yeah.
I think you better see this for yourself, Captain.
Yeah.
This is very like cold open of a 90s thriller kind of energy here.
Did you get a look at this Skelliborque?
It looks like they're kind of mummified or something.
There's like a desiccated quality to the meaty parts.
Yeah, she's like, usually they disappear when they die.
And now I can see why.
That is not pretty as we look at.
Usually nature takes its course, the coyotes come and clean the bones.
Did you like this episode or start trick Voyager at them?
It's hard to remember there was an entire episode that came before the Scaliborg reveal.
Because the Scaliborg is really like the look at me part of the episode we got.
But I don't want us to forget just like the great B-Dunk's performance we got in this
episode or like the real people throw around this word around actors and most of the time it's like overused, but like some real bravery
that Roxanne Dawson had in her performance here.
And what a really strong season she's had in season three, both acting as BLT and also
the many versions of her.
Totally.
Like really sort of taken over season three in a big way.
In a way that I really admired,
I really feel like also,
I wonder to what extent Andrew Robinson
was maybe the perfect choice to kind of bring
these performances out of these actors
and creating a space that was like really safe
to go in these areas.
Areas that could, if you don't get the nuance right,
like there are a lot of Star Trek episodes
that don't age very well and make them really gross
in retrospect, not a gross feeling episode here
that it could have been without the steady hand here
by all parties.
So I did like the episode, what about you?
I did as well.
I feel like we've had a lot of Star Trek caves lately
And I'm a little bit bored of that as a setting and I think that this episode kind of revealed that to me
especially because the setting
When they first beam down is the Sears Garden Center and I was like, oh man like more of this please like more like variety in
Our away missions would be really great.
That was one thing I wouldn't hold against this episode a little bit, but other than that,
I thought it was a really interesting episode and a great example of making like corny,
sex storylines kind of fun and interesting in a sci-fi way.
Yeah, I mean, the naked now this was not.
And it really could have been.
Really could have been.
Well, Adam, do you want to see if there's anything
in the priority one in Vox that is as horny as this episode?
Oh, wow.
I mean, sometimes there are.
Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Need a supplement, Link. And sometimes there are.
Ben are first priority when message is from Brynn and the message is to she who is my wife
Heather.
The message goes like this, it's been a while to get you to watch TNG with me, and now you're viewing this dumb pod with me too.
In your world, Tasha is yet to go to Mount Armas, RSVP.
Wesley is still the boy, but at least you've met Jim Shimoda and Mr. Argyle and seen Warfleightning and anybody can.
Wow.
I can't wait for you to meet Kevin or Ensign Ro as well.
I love you.
Man, that is such a fun thing to imagine
watching TNG for the first time.
Lot of exit ramps to take if you're Heather.
I'm not talking about from the relationship.
I'm talking about from Star Trek like.
Like, for our podcast, I mean our podcast is oops all exit ramps
Yeah, I don't I mean I'm very grateful to Brynn for introducing Heather to both
Star Trek and our show, but I might have waited to introduce our show until a little bit later. Yeah, that's just my
Once you once you're I mean, I guess you're married, so. Yeah, so that's it.
You kind of committed now.
You committed to the plot.
You're stuck with us, Heather, sorry.
Well, our next priority one message is from Andrew
and it's to Ben and Adam.
Maybe Andrew Robinson, the director of this episode.
Wow, yeah.
Probably.
It goes like this.
Every time you guys make a come or piss joke,
I questioned whether it was a good idea
to tell my mom about your show.
I feel the same way about my mom.
But seriously, you guys have made working
from home marginally more bearable
since I discovered your pods.
Thank you.
Also, can you play the Chris Brenner drop?
Well, that's easy to do.
It's one of our favorites.
I'm Chris Brenner.
Brenner
Brinner information systems
You know interface operations net access channel 90
Chris Brenner
It's done. Yeah Andrew has requested that this get played before the end of everything which you know
May or may not have happened may or may not have happened as of this recording.
It'll depend on how quickly we're able to schedule
the episodes we have in the can.
That's important work.
Yeah, indeed.
Well, if you'd like to get a priority one message
on the show, you know what to do.
You head to maximumfund.org slash jumbo-tron.
Sign up for it. And it's a hundred bucks for a personal message and
200 for a commercial message.
You know, I'm really easy to get along with, most of the time.
But I don't like bogey, I don't like bread, and I don't like you.
Yeah. What has that been?
Did you find yourself a drunk Shimoda?
Drunk Shimoda!
I think mine's gonna be the doc
for wanting to pivot from doctor into sex doc.
He makes no bones about it,
that really is his primary interest.
And that's what happens a lot.
Like you go into a school of any kind,
like higher education style school.
You sort of figure out what your interests are. go into a school of any kind, like higher education style school.
You sort of figure out what your interests are.
Sometimes you go into medicine generally
before finding a specialty.
And that's what the doc has done here.
You found his passion laid in life, as it were.
This is a ship full of fuckers.
And he's gonna help him do it right.
I mean, one thing I kind of wished the doc had said
to TuVoc in that scene is like, you're
gonna deal with this too, you know, like we have no reason to believe that we won't be
on this mission for at least seven years.
So help me fucking solve this problem.
I mean, it's interesting that glimpse of TuVoc's hollow program that we got before where
he chokes out, Nielix all the time, like that is a suggestion combined with
this episode that this is where two Vat goes to do his therapy of all kinds.
What about you, Ben?
My drunk Shemota is BLT.
I feel like the energy that we talked about in the middle of this episode where she is
convinced she is doing the right stuff.
And everybody else is like, no, you're fucking everything up.
It's very Jim Shimoda, you know, like,
I'm like, hey, I'm gonna play with these isolinear chips
and everybody's like, no!
The chunk of star is gonna hit the ship, man.
Yeah, yeah, and like, they're both, both characters playing fairly broad in those moments,
but how it's interesting how differently both of them hit in their contexts. Yeah.
So good stuff by both. Yeah. Adam, our next episode is season three, episode 17,
unity. Chicote responds to a distress call
and discovers a group of different species,
many of which originate from the alpha quadrant,
living on a planet stricken by conflict.
Hmm.
Sounds like a pretty standard issue
start track episode there.
A quad aliens, right here in the D.
Huh, I mean, we've seen some of them before already.
Yeah, it's not unfathomable.
Well, I'm going to have to gach that biz slash game and check on the game of buttholes.
The will of the caretaker.
I run about as currently on square 16.
Just ahead is a quark spar.
And there's also an eyes uncovered square.
I think I can hit here.
Oh yeah.
You're required to learn as you play.
Roll.
So, when we go ahead and roll this bone.
Tula!
Did I win?
Harvey.
Wow, I rolled a six and I jumped over both of them.
Got us off the second row.
We're on square 22.
That's impossible. You never do that. I did row. We're on square 22. That's impossible.
You never do that.
I did it.
I did it, baby.
Good job by you.
Yeah.
Good job by everyone who support the show.
I mean, people who support the show make the greatest generation possible.
You can count yourself among them by going to MaximumFun.org slash joint.
Yeah.
Do that.
Do it now.
Priority ones do the same thing.
Being a customer of one of our many advertisers also helps the show.
Yeah.
Miriam ways to support the greatest generation.
Getting something at podshop.biz.
Yeah.
Seeing us at a live show.
Yeah.
Recommending us to your wife.
Oh, that sounds pretty suggestive, Ben. You want to retake that?
No, I stand by my words. Hey, are you having some troubles in the relationship
department? Maybe greatest generation can help. It's been an advertisement for our marriage counseling the entire time.
Right. We got to thank Wendy Pretty, the producer of this program. We've got to thank Bill
Tilly, the social media director of Oxbridge, Shimoda, follow us at Greatest Trek on Instagram
and Twitter. We got to thank Adam Ragusia, who made all the custom theme music based on
dark materias, original placardard song Adam Magusia now on
YouTube as a chef and soon to be on your pod catcher. He's coming back out of podcast retirement people
Yeah, no one stays podcast retired forever. I guess. Yeah. I'm excited to hear your show
It's the best at this moment of time. One big score. He hasn't premiered yet
Yeah He's the best at this moment of time. He hasn't premiered yet. Yeah.
I hope I'm not like putting him on blast before the premiere of the big show.
He doesn't listen to our show anymore.
Well, thanks to everyone who listened and we will be back at you next week with another
great episode of Star Trek Voyager and an episode of the greatest generation Voyager
that has a lot of the characters for our past
that theoretically we wanna get back there,
but now that they're here, we're like,
mm, yeah, I mean, what is there to go back for?
I don't know.
I mean, whoever they are, I don't know who they are, Ben.
Yeah, I'm not being specific.
All right.
I can show. Thank you so much.
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