The Greatest Generation - Reverse Scotty (ENT S2E8)

Episode Date: December 30, 2024

When an away team returns from a pre-warp field trip, Reed realizes he didn’t do an idiot check before loading back into the shuttlepod. But when they return for the communicator with predictably terrible OPSEC, getting punched in the face repeatedly make the potential for cultural contamination so much worse. What does D’rone have for breakfast every morning? How else is Commander Tucker like a bloodhound? Which host scraps nasty? It’s the episode that carefully considers the implications of a beaded curtain.Support the production of The Greatest GenerationGet a thing at podshop.biz!Sign up for our mailing list!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Riker - Quantum LeapThe Greatest Generation is produced by Wynde PriddySocial media is managed by Rob Adler and Bill TilleyMusic by Adam Ragusea & Dark MateriaFriends of DeSoto for: Labor | Democracy | JusticeDiscuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen and find us on social media:YouTube | Facebook | X | Instagram | TikTok | Mastodon | Bluesky | ThreadsAnd check out these online communities run by FODs: Reddit | USS Hood Discord | Facebook group | Wikia | FriendsOfDeSoto.social

The end of the year is a good time to take stock of everything that's been accomplished up until now, don't you think? And to me, our series of Greatest Generation Live Shows has been a real highlight. Three shows. All of them shot and professionally cut together, with extra special backstage footage, represents some of the best times we've ever had with FOTs. And now that we're deep into the holiday season, there's both more time to watch them, because hopefully you've got some time off, and less time until they're gone. Because these

three streaming shows are out of here when the ball drops at the end of this year. So give a gift of embarrassing laughter to yourself or an embarrassed loved one by going to greatestgentour.com. Thanks for all your support of our shows at Uxbridge Shimoda. We don't ever take that for granted. Just know that buying tickets to stuff like our live shows tells us that we should keep doing things like this. Greatest gentour.com is where you get your streaming show tickets. And just think of how nice it'll be to watch something funny

as you're trying to get to sleep in your childhood bed during the holiday visit this year. Greatest gentour.com. Here's to the finest crew in Starling. When it comes to my crew, you won't get any argument from me. This is a parody. Paramount owns the song. Welcome to The Greatest Generation, it's a Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys who are just a little bit embarrassed about having a Star Trek podcast.

I'm Ben Harrison. I'm Adam Pranica. You ever think about what future you might be doing on the 30th of December? Man, this is the 30th of December that this episode comes out? Yeah. We're doing a lot of work right now to give people a peek behind the pod. We're trying. Lordy, we're trying to give us and the folks who we work with a little bit of a holiday break. So we're recording extra episodes to try to build that runway. And it's a great

amount of work for everyone involved, not just us, but everyone who helps make these shows. Yeah. There's a pipeline and you pack it with the various gristle and and leavings that we use to make the sausage. Yeah. And you try and pack it in faster so that you can get some extra sausage out the other end.

It's not always easy. Yeah, we're like that I Love Lucy episode where the episodes keep coming on the conveyor belt and where stuffin' jokes in and stuffin' jokes in our mouths and it's just a mess. I was listening to another podcast and they were mentioning that they were like four months ahead on records and I was just like, holy shit. Is that aspirational in your mind? It would be kind of amazing to be that far out. I mean, we could just be like, okay, we're going to take the quarter off on recording.

How about no? I don't see what you said ever happening, even if we had the longest runway of episodes in the can. Like, I don't think the work ever stops. I mean, that's partly just your disposition though. Like you don't, you like refuse to accept an idea of a world in which the work ever stops. So even when there isn't that much to do, you will find a way to white knuckle it

and get yourself all worked up. You really know me, Ben. You do. Nothing you say is wrong. But also, recording the show part of this job is the part that I like the most. I know, and I would never want to quit that. Part of the reason for having a team as we now do is that we get to focus on the parts that we're actually good at and leave

the parts that we suck at and make us feel bad to much more talented people. I've been having a bad day, man. Oh, but. I've been looking forward to getting on the mic all day for hours, it's already working. I am so glad that this show can be here for you in a time like this.

What do you do when you're feeling bad? Give me the Benjamin R. Harrison self-soothe tips. I thought you were about to say self-suck and that is one thing. I mean, that's why you got the rowing machine. You want to get yourself back in a foldable shape, right? Rowing machine is one of them, you know, like a workout is a- That's part of my angst, man. I'm more than four weeks without-

Dang. As prescribed from my doctor and I feel all caged up. Yeah. I feel real bad. That'll do it. Yeah, I've found that like increasing the amount of protein in my diet is helpful for mood stabilization. So you're saying a bunch of Halloween candy and alcohol and not working out. You think these have had a detrimental effect

on my mentals? Everybody's body is different and everybody's body reacts to stimuli in their own subjective way. So I'm not saying that what works for me will necessarily work for you. Yeah. Don't take advice of any kind from Star Trek podcasters or podcasters in general. That's crazy. That's something that I would accept as axiomatic, Adam.

Yeah. Speaking of your future self, what about your past self? What about a pre-nuclear self? What do you think that guy is up to? Think about that guy all the time. How innocent those days were. Yeah. It must've been nice.

Yeah. Do you want to talk about some past people spend some time in that rarefied pre-nuclear air? You know, thinking about how difficult and how great the struggle must have been for past people is making present me feel a little better by comparison. I'm feeling better already, Ben. Let's get in there and talk about Enterprise Season 2, Episode 8, The Communicator. So, a shuttle returns to the entrepreneur and Hoshi and Archer and Reed get off and they are

and Archer and Reed get off and they are loaded up with loaf. And it's not surgical, like specifically, this is peel off latex loaf. They're talking about how tired they are from the mission and that much is obvious. They've developed six pack abs on their foreheads, almost as if like squinting was the workout. Have you ever seen a fully developed forehead,

like with musculature? That's what this looks like. Yeah, like real pain and gain energy in the forehead area. That's it, get it. I went to ice hockey summer camp one year in the Okanagan in Canada to try and get better at ice hockey. And I remember one of my counselors yelling at everybody in my bunk that we needed to be doing more sit-ups and we should have six little raviolis on our bellies.

And that was the way he described six packs and I've never been able to think of them as anything but raviolis ever since then So these guys have real ravioli head Why was coach Luigi always talking about Crunching the raviola Counselor boyardee was he was a real hard-ass Hey coach, I understand it's cold out here, but why is the Gatorade bucket filled with a minestrone?

It's getting clogged in the spigot. You're like hitting the button harder and harder, but nothing's coming out. We win the big tournament at the end of camp and he's scalded when we dump it on his head. Yeah. Yeah. You just stand in a big melted spot in the middle of the ice. In a pool of rapidly cooling minestrone. Just getting pelted by those rinds of Parmesan

that you throw in there. Delicious. Oh, man. I made a bean soup last night. You can really elevate most soups with a bunch of grated cheese on top. I thought the soup I made was fine, You can really elevate most soups with a bunch of grated cheese on top. Sure. I thought the soup I made was fine, but God, you put the grated parm on there.

Yeah, yeah, that'll do it. You get that umami going. It's all you need. Umami. It's real good. Do you do the spent rind of parm in the broth as it simmers or in your like pasta sauces as they simmer? You know, I do save those, but I save those in a cut bag. I've got a cut bag of vegetable and cheese rind

in a gallon size Ziploc in my freezer. And then I have a cut bag of bones. Yeah. That's bones in my freezer that I use for making stock. And I make stock every couple of months out of both of those bags. Yeah. That's bones in my freezer that I use for making stock. And I make stock every couple of months out of both of those bags in the biggest pot that I've got. And then I reduce all that down into the little silicone cocktail ice cube trays. And I got those ready to go.

And that's what I put in my sauces. So I'm not using the raw materials, Ben, like you're asking. I'm using the constructed demi-glace that I've made out of all that stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Well, speaking of demi-glace, they do not need to smear themselves when they get to the decon chamber. I love a little slide open window like this. Anytime there's a club that people are trying to get into in a movie or something like that and a window slides open, I am delighted. Welcome home. Flock's pokes his head in and says, hey, you guys, you're good to go.

You don't need to decontaminate at all. When you're in the decon chamber and you don't do that, it's sort of Chekhov's lube, isn't it? Like, I love this part of Star Trek, and I've talked about it with respect to ships, like the maintenance of ships, the busy work of ships, whatever, but this is like the post-mission moment where you, you gotta do all the admin work, you gotta take off your loaf and your costume and like do the accounting of all the stuff. Maybe you lube yourself up with the decontamination gel. I like seeing all this stuff. This is

just a part of living in a Star Trek world. It's a ton of fun. And yeah, there's some uniforms hanging up in there and they're going to get out of their civilian garb. And as they're doing this, a moment that is very familiar to me. And I'm sure something you've never personally experienced happens to Malcolm Reed where he's like patting all his pockets and he's like, ah, fuck, ah, fuck, something's missing. Why am I made to feel bad when you say something like that? You're the one that should feel bad. I do feel bad. You say something like that. You're the one that should feel bad. I do feel bad. You should feel worse.

I lost something, Adam. I lost something, okay? You don't think I feel bad about that? It's just annoying that it never happens to you. Reed didn't do the idiot check before leaving the planet and left a communicator, he thinks, down there during the mission. Oh man, the like twist of the knife of showing the scene where he's looking in like the garbage where he definitely didn't throw his communicator and Hoshi's like crawling around looking under the seats in the shuttle pod and stuff. Ugh, it just, your guts drop.

There's something about, as you describe, looking in the place that obviously it isn't, whatever the object is that you've lost, like digging through the garbage when you know it's not in the garbage is like a form of masochism that like, I deserve this. I deserve to dig in fucking trash because I'm a trash person who forgets things. Like, you know, it's not in the garbage and yet you do it.

I'm not saying you, I'm saying the person who loses stuff. Like, no one deserves that. I was cooking chicken burgers last night and I'd, uh, I'd put my, my panko and my milk in a bowl and that was getting ready, softening up. And then I was like, I need an egg as a binder for this ground chicken meat. Sure you do. And my wife had just mentioned that she went out

for a fresh does of eggs because now that we have a toddler, we just go through eggs so fucking fast. I can't believe it. And- And Daron is just drinking them Rocky Balboa style. Yeah. I don't know why you mess around with the omelets, Ben. Just crack him into his little sippy cup. Into the sippy cup full of Miller High Life that he drinks every morning.

Yeah. No, so I look in the fridge, no eggs, don't see them in the place in the fridge where eggs go. I'm like, shit, well, she definitely took the car and went somewhere. They must have just gotten left in the car, went to look in the car, looked every conceivable inch of the car over that I could. Not in the car, and I'm like, damn, maybe she went out for eggs and did that thing where you pick up

some cheese and a bottle of wine and you forget the thing that you went to the grocery store for. Were you thinking at all that she may have your dad with seafood leftovers, those eggs? Because you don't want to leave eggs in the car for days. You do not. I couldn't turn them up, came back in. I was like, I guess I'm cooking these chicken burgers without eggs as a binder,

and I was trying to like strategize what else. I was like, okay, well, like I'm already like, a lot of things are in the mix, I'll figure this out. And I went to like get my veg ready, like all my bib lettuce and my tomatoes cut up and everything. Damn, this sounds really nice as a midweek meal. Yeah, and then I went into the fridge for something else. Eggs were there, just on a different shelf

on the opposite side than they ever are. I had done an extensive search and rescue operation for these fucking eggs, and they were right in the fridge the whole time. I think your wife's fucking with you. This is what gas lighting is originally, right? Yeah, yeah. You don't deserve that

as the primary mealmaker in your household. There's a place for eggs. There is a place for eggs. Eggs always in the same place. Eggs and keys always in the same place. That. Eggs and keys always in the same place. That's the rule. Yeah. You just feel terrible for Reed and they get up to the bridge and Hoche is like-

I would pull that back a little bit. As much suffering as it seems as a Reed is going through, Reed is not a likable character for me to, to have a greater amount of empathy for during a moment like this. a greater amount of empathy for during a moment like this? I'm just, I identify with the man as a lover of pineapple and of losing shit occasionally. Yeah. Yeah, but you hit the target in a lot of ways that he just does not. They go up to the bridge and Toshi is like, okay, I can probably scan for this thing and figure out where we left it. And initially she's got a two kilometer box for them to look in, which is a pretty big

search radius, not something that they are super excited to try and return to the surface and look within. I just wanna hop in here and say that Hoshi doesn't have a two kilometer box. She has geo-located the possible places where the communicator could be to an area that size. Right, as she's not bragging about size. Right, I think if you were to read the transcript

of this episode, that might be confusing. I just want to clear that up for the episode readers at home. War is brewing on the surface of this planet. It's discussed that they saw a political rally and there's a lot of propaganda afoot, and it's a bit of a touchy situation to go back into, but they are going to have to go back down and eventually they figure out like, okay, it's like here's like a few blocks that is within and Reed recognizes the part of town that they're looking at as a place where they went to a tavern. So that seems like a good place to start.

Trips like a tavern? I could go on this mission? I describe myself as a bloodhound, mostly for the number of nipples that you'll find on my person. Rose and Rose. You're never gonna let that go, are you? Trips shut down here. He wants to go, but cannot.

So in the shuttle down, it's Archer and Reed. Do you think that a Klingon that really enjoys drinking is called a blood wine hound? Yes. Yes, I do. This is also very familiar to me. Reed on the way down and like, dad hasn't said anything yet. And Reed is like, come on, just punish me, man.

Like, tell me what kind of time I'm gonna be serving in detention or whatever. Adam and Ben riding the elevator back up to their hotel rooms after a show. Like, I guess our flight is at 10 and if you can make contact with the venue before we have to go to the airport, like I guess that's the plan at this point. I can't believe I walked out of there without my backpack that has the iPad and the laptop

that our show runs off of in it. Adam is like, I can't believe that either, Ben. In the Shuttle Down, I mean, it's clear how bad Reed feels, but it's also clear to what extent Archer will go to be a cool boss in a moment like this. Yeah. Archer is not Adaming here. Archer is doing what he can to make it seem as though there will not be punishment at

all for this transgression. It's going to be fine. We're going to make this right. And the natural consequence is we have to go back down and duck under the cloud cover before these fighter jets shoot us out of the sky. Yeah. And that'll be okay. But we've done that already.

Yeah. Successfully. This is the Briar Patch for us. Hey, Reed, try not to fucking lose the shuttle while we're off doing our search. See, these are balls that I would kick the entire episode if I were Archer. Reed, try not to fucking lose the shuttle while we're off doing our search. See, these are balls that I would kick the entire episode if I were Archer. Like.

You make sure that the low jack was active before we departed Reed. They go back into this bar and much like the Cheesecake Factory, their table is ready. What did you make of how uncomfortable it was when they walked in? I clocked immediately that it was quiet. Like quiet in the bar. Like no din and no music, either diegetic or non-diegetic.

There's just like nothing going on in there in a way that creeped me out. There's a table seated right in the middle of the restaurant full of soldiers and that feels portentous. They all kind of get the hairy eyeball from these soldiers and they go sit in the booth and Reed tries to be slick when he goes under the table in the booth, which is such a hard thing to do. I know you've never had to do this, Adam, but when you lose something in a restaurant booth,

it's hard because the table is affixed to the floor and the chairs are affixed to the floor. So there's no way to like pull stuff away so you can look under. If my jacket slides off of the booth seat onto the floor, like I kind of want to leave it forever at that point. The idea of crawling around under this thing, the way Reed does, kind of nauseated me.

Because it is so hard to look for something under there, you imagine as you are doing that, how hard it must be to clean under there also. And sometimes you see things that you cannot unsee when you're looking for your wallet under the booth. There's no way it's not sticky down there. Yeah, it's bad. And the communicator is not there.

A server comes over and is asking them what they want. And they're like, dude, you haven't even dropped menus on the table yet. What are you fucking talking about? Yeah, the question of still or sparkling is proffered and yeah, like, yeah, water first, please, please. I'm parched. Maybe a bread basket. It's not too much trouble.

The server isn't totally suspicious, but he is a little weird. Even before he goes and signals the uniformed folks sitting around their table, something just feels a little off about this guy's performance. And I thought it was kind of magical for that reason. I don't know how you direct whatever this performance is, but he seems to be doing regular server stuff, but something's not right about this interaction. And when he goes and flags the uniformed officers at that table, nothing is right about this interaction. And when he goes and flags the uniform officers at that table, nothing is surprising about that interaction at all. No. So, Reed is, like, sneakily trying to look at his tricorder

down by his side, and he locates the communicator, and it's, like, down a hallway. And, man, such bad opsec to send both of them down the hallway to look for it, you know? Like Archer's got to hang out at the table while Reed goes down there and like, you know, does the ginger back of the knuckle on the bathroom door. Is anybody in there? You gotta be sure when there's a beaded curtain.

What's gonna be on the other side, right? Because beaded curtain can mean a lot of things. Beaded curtain can mean barrier or beaded curtain can be code for come on in if you're looking for something specific. Yeah. There's an implied sexiness behind a beaded curtain, I think. Every time, right? Yeah. There is no non-sexual connotation of a beaded curtain, is there? I'm really struggling to think of one.

Uh, yeah. Well, the lady that bakes the chocolate chip cookies in the Matrix, she was a fucking freak, right? What a pull. Here. Wow. Take a cookie. Oh, man.

Yeah. You think she's just sitting on those cookies to flatten them out before baking? So it's going on back there? Yeah. I think when I was in high school, I thought having a lava lamp and a beaded curtain would make me more interesting. And I went to urban outfitters and got one of each. But my bedroom door was just a normal door.

So for a while, there was a thing where you would have to open the door and then go through the beaded curtain and then reach back through the beaded curtain to close the door. I would say it didn't work, you know? Would you occasionally like close the door and the beads would get stuck in the door and it would- Yeah, yeah, of course.

Oh my God. How long did you live that way? Too long. Let's just admit it that it was too long. I will also admit that I had a lava lamp in my freshman dorm room as everyone I knew did. You had to go down to the Av and go to the head shop that had the posters and the lava lamps. It's a rite of passage.

It was a law at the time. Yeah. Yeah. I bet Zoomers aren't doing that bullshit, right? Never fucked with the beaded curtain though. That is great detail. That's fun. They're down this hallway.

There's two people in the room as revealed by Malcolm's scanner. You can also just tell because that little occupied thing is visible on the door lock. So they are heading back to their booth and it turns into a great big bar fight with all of these soldiers. What do you make of Reed punching first? I love that for him. I was very embarrassed for him though, that he got his ass kicked. Like he is like KO'd on the floor by the time the three guys subdued Archer.

And I'm like, come on, Reed, you got to, you're the fucking tactics guy. You got to take at least a couple of dudes out before the fight is over. I hung out with folks like this in college once. And then I would stop hanging out with these people. Oh, like guys who go to bars looking for trouble to get into?

Yeah, that is not what I'm going to a bar for. Yeah. Yeah. I never, maybe it's just because of my height. I never felt like I was at much risk in those crowds, but yeah, they got, you know, especially if you're like, hey, I'm gonna hang out with these new guys. You wanna come to a buddy and then the new guys.

Like folks in bars see you across the bar and they're like, that guy's been through enough. Yeah, I don't think anybody has ever misread me as guy who can fight. That's not what I'm trying to imply. I'm just, you know, I'm rangy, you know? Yeah, I believe it. I think the promise of me in any fight

is that it would just be ugly. Yeah, yeah. And bad. I bet you scrap nasty. That's, I think that's just it. Is like, it would be bad for everyone involved. No one would feel good about it. They'd be like, Adam, that thing where you grab a guy and drag him along the bar so that his face smashes into every stein and bottle along the way, that's only for movies. You can't do that move in real life. That's an unsanctioned move. Yeah. Movie moves are not for real fights, that's for sure. So at the end of this fight, these military guys drag them into that back room they were trying to

get into. And this has gone from bad to worse because now the locals don't just have one communicator. They have a phase pistol, they have a couple of communicators, they have a couple of tri-quarters. They have multiplied the scale of this contamination many times. And when all of their tech is put on the table, like so much dope,

it's pretty clear that they're lying when they say they don't know anything about this stuff. You know, like the sheer quantity of the tech makes this pretty far-fetched. And the assumption in the room seems pretty fair, right? Archer and Reed are spies. How could they not be? There's an alliance that these guys are very concerned about

and they're like, you know what? You're probably from them. You've got this, these weird gadgets that we don't know what they are. This weird gun that we don't know what it is. You're going to the complex and an unmistakable music queue drops. I love it so much. It's so weird that they just respawn in this specific spot. Yeah. And wait, there's a proximity mine here?

What the fuck? On Enterprise, it is clear that something has gone wrong with the mission. And T'Pol blows in a call to Archer, but no one answers. No one answers in a very specific way. A way that conveys that the channel is open and there's like some room tone happening. Like you never get room tone in Star Trek depicted in this way, but here it is. And as soon as they realized that like the channel is open, T'P Paul's like, no, kill it. And Hoshi has found the signal for where Reed and Archer are, but it is super far away from where they started.

And actually, Ben, I have no idea how far away this is. It's in a unit of measurement. I've never been able to figure out, but it seems like a place that would be difficult to walk to. Yeah. There has been some discussion of how much walking they've been doing due to, I guess, parking pretty far outside

of town when they take their shuttlecraft down. And that is underlined with a great big underline in the next scene as we start on a close-up of Reed's foot as he rubs it in pain. Ah. Ah, ah. I love how Reed tin-mans the word epsom salt. I wonder if the God would bring us some epsom salts. Tin man.

He does that a couple of times in this episode. You want to put a little hop in your step on any given day? Just tin man something weird like that. Is he a... Is this a British guy thing? Great question. I really think it's a Star Trek thing. It happens all the time. Yeah.

So an idea comes up here, cause they're now in jail. Like this mission to rescue a communicator could not be going worse. And they're like, what about just saying what we really are? They'll let us go, right? We could give them a tour of the ship. They would love that. The truth? Really? I don't know, man. No one would believe them is the conclusion they

draw. Like their story is crazy. So finally, as they're discussing this, they're taken to a room to meet Ghosus. And it's clearly an interrogation room because of how that light is hanging over the table, right? Indeed. Uh, general Ghosus is played by a guy named Francis Guinan. Can you imagine? Going to work on Star Trek with a last name like that?

Why didn't they cast him as that alien barkeep? Yeah, that would have been much more appropriate. Yeah, they blew it. Like Dennis Cockrum is definitely showing up at the same casting calls as Francis Guinan. Like they're, Dennis Cockrum is a Francis Guinan type and vice versa. Dennis Cochran sounds like the first draft of Zephyrum Cochran, you know? Dennis Cochran? That doesn't, that's not going to work. I can't see that name in the historical literature

for Starfleet. We got to punch that up. For Starfleet. We got to punch that up. He heard to Paul's hail. He was the person on the other end of the line when she risked calling down to the surface and he's like, what is this thing? Who is this T Paul? How far away is she? What are the capabilities of this device? This is an interrogation that gets punchy pretty quickly. Yeah, yeah. Because the Alliance are the enemies of Ghosus

and his troops, and when Archer and Reed don't answer the questions to their satisfaction, I love how Archer is the only one for the longest time who gets punched in the face. Oh. It does not seem fair. He does get punched in the face an awful lot in general though, right? Like I would say like every third or fourth mission Archer can rely on taking one to the kisser. Yeah. These punches to the face continue as they are talked about their possible plans to assassinate

Chancellor Kul Ture. And as the punches rain down on them, their six pack foreheads start to split open, revealing that they've got smooth brows underneath. Is this like when you get like filler injections to make it look like you're more muscular than you actually are, and then they start to decay. You know, in my advanced stage, I'm starting to understand fillers and all that shit. Not enough for me to ever get them, but I get it.

Yeah, I get it. Red blood? Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr that just do not make any sense to these troops, but maybe it'll make sense to their doctor. And a doctor is where they're taken for a full examination. And Ben, what no one says, but that I know you and I know, is that this exam is going to be nude, right? It's going to be nude and and it's gonna be probing because when any doctor has a chance to give an exam to an alien Yeah, it's going everywhere, right? Yeah, you're gonna you're gonna want to see everything I can't seem to find a pair of pants to go with my holiday sweater But you know what pairs perfectly with a New Year's resolution?

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Money. Go to rocketmoney.com slash scarves. Today that's rocketmoney.com slash scarves. Rocketmoney.com slash S-C-A-R-V-E-S, rockandmoney.com slash scarves. Hey, Sydney, you're a physician and the cohost of Sawbones, a marital tour of misguided medicine, right? That's true, Justin. Is it true that our medical history podcast is just as good as a visit to your primary

care physician? No, Justin, that is absolutely not true. However, our podcast is funny and interesting and a great way to learn about the medical misdeeds of the past as well as some current not so legit health care fads. So you're saying that by listening to our podcast, people will feel better. Sure. Isn't that the same reason that you go to the doctor? Well, you could say that.

And our podcast is free. Yes, it is free. You heard it here first folks, Sawbones, Merrell, Tour of Misguided Medicine, right here on Maximum Fun, just as good as going to the doctor. No, no, no, still not just as good as going to the doctor, but pretty good. It's up there. It's hard to explain what happens on Jordan, Jesse, Go. So I had my kids do it.

Saying swear words. Saying swear words. Yeah, bad jokes. Bad jokes? Bad jokes. Maybe it's like you tell people that you're gonna interview them and then you just stay there like really quiet and try and creep them out. It's just really boring. Because of Jordan, right? Not me.

Because of both of you. Oh. Subscribe to Jordan Jesse Goh, a comedy show for grownups. And you will never take the greatest chin alive. Ben would rather die. Rather die, what? Meanwhile, back up on the ship, Hoshi has located where this nudity

is going to be taking place. She's got overhead photography of the complex. Tripp wants to do a raid. He's like very excited about getting another raid in and to Paul points out that like every time they send something to the surface, they risk leaving more shit behind and this will contaminate this pre-warp society and potentially really fuck shit up. And Tripp has a great idea.

He's like, you know, we have that cell ship from the Suleybon still aboard. It has a cloaking device. We can go there invisibly. What a reminder to me and everyone else that they still have this thing. Yeah, a set that they never showed before, but they show now. And this was really cool, I thought. The full-size cell ship he and Mayweather hang out in, they're trying to get the cloaking device working.

Trip was confident when he pitched this idea to DePaul that he was on the verge of having everything ready to go with this ship and she gave it the okay. And it turns out he was kind of fibbing on that. He's kind of a reversed Scottied this, right? Which isn't just a sexual position anymore. Right, he's overestimated how quickly it will take to fix it up.

A reverse Scotty is when you say, I'm coming, I'm coming, but you actually come a lot faster. But you already came. Yeah. That position will break your dick. Wait a second. You're claiming that you're coming, but you have

pulled out and nothing is burbling out. What, what do you mean? And you've also hit your head on a low ceiling. And also you're carrying your bloody nephew in your arms. Yeah, that's all part of it. Sick shit are you into, man. Yeah, that's the reverse Scotty. Tripp are you into, man? Yeah, that's the reverse Scotty. Tripp is trying to boop some buttons, turn on

this cloaking device when he gets blown back. And it's horrifying to see that he cannot see. I can't see the nipples on my arms or my arm. This effect was so much better than I expected. You know, sometimes you can do the whole like Lieutenant Dan, no legs thing, and it just seems a little off. I thought this was super on. They did a great job with it.

And I think part of what helps it is that there's like some, some glowy fuzzy effect around the barrier. So they're not trying to sell that there's like a wrap of fabric around this or anything. It's like, it's disappearing into phased space. Mayweather, I'm gonna need to take a break. I gotta go, I gotta go do the super stranger. Maybe I'll combine it with going further record.

Maybe I'll combine it with going further record. So in Sixth Bay, Dr. Flax examines Tripp Tucker and everything feels okay and normal. That's the big takeaway here. His right arm is just cloaked and it's going to return to normal eventually. It's not the kind of cloak that Jordan Yannenson-Roe had where you could accidentally go through a wall though, you know? What's interesting about this moment is Dr. Flax is like, look, I'm going to give you a glove and maybe you could switch uniforms so that you could see yourself. But at no point is the case ever made for like the need for proprioception as an engineer

or just as a human being. Like how difficult do you think it would be if your arms were just cloaked or your arms and legs were cloaked and still there? He can still feel it. So I guess with the glove on, he's got enough information, but yeah. I mean, he's definitely entered a no glove, no love phase of the episode.

I just wanted, give me a few more scenes. I know this is a serious episode, a dangerous episode, but let's go to the mess hall and have Tripp do bits on people. I want to see a spoon of lime jello being held to his mouth for him to eat, just floating in air. That's great. The trick isn't to bend the spoon. It's to realize that there is no spoon.

How long ago has it been since you've seen The Matrix? It seems very front of mind. Years and years. God, that scene is so weird. Then you'll see that it is not the spoon that bends. It is only yourself. That little kid is speaking backwards, right? Then you'll see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself. That little kid is speaking backwards, right?

Like he's phonetically talking backwards and then they play it so that it sounds like it's forwards. Well, I saw you when I was a kid, snap, and you're just one of these, so I'm just... Wow. I mean... I always thought that. I haven't seen it in years and years, but I like that take. I wonder if that's true.

There's something about his pronunciation of all the words that just seems so forced and thoughtful that it just sounds like someone speaking backwards that's then played. Yeah. Full words. Yeah. Down at the base, the soldiers led by General Ghosus test out this hand phaser that they've recovered from Archer and Reed. And when they see its destructive power, it fucking spooks them. They are doing the math on if the guys that we're fighting have guns like this, like how the fuck could we possibly beat them? And then Dr. Temick shows up. Dr.

Temick played by Brian Reddy. A delightful that guy to see. Of Seinfeld, of Oh Brother, Where Art Thou. Jag, that's where I know him. Oh sure. Yeah. He has got some internal anatomy scans of Archer and Reed that look like they probably got cancer from getting scanned the way he did this.

I love his medical conclusion. These two guys right here are deformed. Ha ha ha. Huh. They're even more abnormal on the inside. So we get more interrogation and now General Gosis is starting to talk about them as though they may in fact be little green men. Like if your UFOs were kind of onto you as that.

And Archer is like still trying to be tight lipped. Like he and Reed are really trying as much as they can not to say anything that they don't absolutely have to say to these guys. And I loved that the generals like, show like you're aliens, but like you're here because you're aliens that are friends with the Alliance and you care very deeply about the geopolitics of my world and want to like, you know, help the bad guys.

Would you ever consider if your ghost is punching an alien with what he knows to be superior technology and like a weird body makeup? This seems to be asking for trouble in the worst way. Like this general must want to get the rectal probing of his life once the rest of the aliens come and fire in the sky this guy. Maybe that's what he's into, General Ghosus, you know?

God, I just, I don't know if I would hit them anymore after knowing this. He seems like a man uniquely ill-equipped to be making first contact. Yeah. Hey, Ghosus, is this your idea of Ooby Dooby? Ha ha ha. So Archer starts spinning a yarn about how like, okay, yes, we're with the Alliance and we're

just a surveillance team. We have these special planes that are undetectable by your radar and read. It's like, yeah, yeah, and we're genetically enhanced super soldiers and that's why our birdies are so weird and made out of toxic elements. And these are all prototypes. You got the only ones, so you don't need to worry about this being a mass produced threat that your regular soldiers are gonna meet on the battlefield with the Alliance. This description has a terrible consequence.

And that is, it makes clear that if GOSUS decides to execute these prisoners, that ends the problem there. Right. Oh, no. I loved Dr. Temick being like, this is a plausible explanation. We should believe these guys. Yeah. Yeah. And if they're dead, it makes it easier for the doctor to cut them open and study their guts.

Gonna get an alien autopsy out of this. This is great. Yeah. So Hoshi has tapped the phones and picks up a transmission from the general to some politician giving an update on what's going on with these, uh, the surveillance team that they've captured. And T'Pol realizes like it is, it is getting urgent.

So if she heads down and tells Tripp and Mayweather like cloak or not, it's go time. We don't have much time left before the captain and Reed get hung. And like we would really like to get the captain back. Unfortunately, yeah, that's what they're obligated to do. ["Legally It's Just a Fertile"] obligated to do. Over in the shuttle bay, Tripp and Mayweather continue to work and Mayweather jokes about

what Tripp could do with that cloaked hand. Some of it innocent. Be useful in a poker match. Other ideas he swears are also innocent. It might be helpful on movie night if you bring a date. I could poke it up through the bottom of the popcorn bucket. Yeah, but what's the status of the ship? It seems like they've been working on it for a while. That's what T'Pol wants to know when she walks in.

Big surprise. Their deadline is now two hours because of this death by hanging. Tripp says that they're going to go ahead and launch with or without the cloak functioning. We get a pretty long scene in the holding cell where Archer and Reed are kind of talking things over as they await execution. This was when we learned that this, not just a pre-warp society, but a pre-nuclear fission society. And they're talking about like the lie that they have pulled and like if it's going to be enough to stop contamination from wrecking the natural evolution of these people, like Archer is still pretty sure that like opening the kimono

and admitting that they're aliens is a bad idea. But the upshot is like they're hopeless, you know? Like there's not really anything they can do at this point. It doesn't really seem to them that there's a plausible way for the ship to rescue them. And even if they were to escape, they got these smooth foreheads. How far are they gonna get with those?

I loved the way this scene was lit, because it's very like... Cinema Studies 101 to have the character that's in the bad mood in the shadow, but Reed is in such a beautiful fucking shadow. Like, he starts the scene in the shadow and then kind of comes out into the light to talk to Archer, and by the end of the scene,

has receded back into it. And it is just so beautifully flat. Like you can barely make him out in it. And I just, I thought it looked great. James Cotner is the director of this episode. He also did Carbon Creek. All right. Which I think is another notably remote set episode.

Totally, totally. So our cell ship launches and it cloaks. The cloak works. I was surprised by this. No mention was made of successfully figuring this out, but we see it demonstrated in route. Yeah. Seems pretty crowded in there. It's kind of a one man ship that they've loaded three people into.

Yeah. And as they are descending, the guards come to get the prisoners ready for their execution. And this is the scene where we learned that they're not just pre-warped, they're not just pre-nuclear fission. They're also pre-handcuff as a society. They just do this with ropes? Really? Yeah.

What have you guys invented? Jesus. This compound playset has their hanging area. And in one last little jab, archers like, hey, try not to lose the rope around your neck once they get this thing on your reed. the rope around your neck. Once they get this thing on you, Reed. So the cloak fails on the cell ship and we get a brief little moment where they're getting chased by fighter jets.

Then they get the cloak back and meanwhile the nooses are going around Archer and Reed's necks. What do you think of this moment? Because we get the single brass instrument of wondering if you'll be one of those people who gets decapitated during a hanging. But when these things are like put around the actors, there's gotta be something instinctually

very bad feeling about that, that has got to take some effort to control. I think that would be very uncomfortable. Totally. They're on a platform. Yeah. Like if you- And we saw it that it's actually rigged to drop.

Yeah, so if you fainted or took a step backwards in a way you weren't intending, that could be an onset accident. Maybe the rope goes up and then just out of frame, it's only connected by like dental floss. Hope so. There's a little bit of business, the Lieutenant character that's noosing them up does,

where he like puts the noose on the back of their neck and then moves the knot over to the side on each one. And I was like, what is, like why, but like that's so interesting. I bet there's a reason for that, you know? I think that's to encourage decapitation. Right. Because once you hit the bottom of the rope and it's tension, the tension twists the rope.

Yeah. And it breaks your neck. To pop that head right off. Like a Klingon at a soccer game. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But these guys don't know about that. You may not understand that reference, but your kids are gonna love it.

Rescue comes in hot, cloaked ship, kind of like helicopter hovering in the courtyard, and a bunch of Starfleets jump out and start phaserin' guys and the great big firefight. They realize like, oh, like, okay, we're rescuing us, but we also have to get all that gear back. So Archer has to make a break for the gear and he goes back into the complex to get it. I love the coverage of this scene because it's Archer quickly dodging back through the interior

of the facility in a number of these rooms where we've already been. Like the sequence is just bang, bang, bang of him going in, getting the stuff and getting back out again. I thought the pacing of this was really well done because you can't stay out in the courtyard shooting all of this

phaser V firearm stuff forever. You got to break it up. How did you feel about the phasers in this scene? Because it looked to me like almost every time someone shot one the beam was coming out at a weird incorrect angle. Yeah I think that's hard to do. It's hard to make look right. I think the best in the business is Bill Tilly. Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill. When he makes a card that has two images, that beam crosses the middle in just the right spot. There it is.

It does. Star Trek, get at him. Yeah. He should be supervising all of your special effects at post. I know there wasn't a lot of time to prep the Suleyman sell ship for stealth and for this mission and so forth, but I think they could have done the mission with far less

bloodshed if they just made an example out of Gosun or one of the others with their future tech. Just one of them gets shot on gore, on the gore setting. Yeah. Yeah. One of them gets the Remic treatment and then the rest of them have to set their weapons down. Cause as it is like everybody, but the general basically gets stunned and he

gets to watch with his jaw on the floor as the escapees like jump through a window that is hovering in midair and then disappears and they escape. Yeah. Pretty fun to see Ghosus left there, you know, as the, as the shuttle whooshes away. Yeah. He's just slack-jawed, wondering what the fuck. This is a nice little bit of turnaround in the

next moment where Archer now thinks he has left something behind and it is Reed that finds it. Yeah. Delightful. I bet that makes Reed feel better. So finally in the ready room, T'Pol tells Archer after a period of time that there's an uninhabited planet nearby worthy of exploration. And boy, that sounds nice after a couple of missions, like the ones that they've had.

Yeah. And boy, that sounds nice after a couple of missions like the ones that they've had. And he's grateful to T'Pol for fixing up the stealth ship and using it to rescue them. At great risk to herself. He's glad that she took that risk and they talk about how even though they got all of the stuff that they went down there to recover, even without leaving examples of their technology behind, they've probably done a lot of damage to this society by giving them the idea that their enemies have an insanely advanced like super soldier and weapons program that they need to be concerned about.

This is how arms races happen. Archer's pretty sad about that. And T'Pol's like, hey, don't feel that bad. At least you are willing to die to try to staunch the bleeding on this screw up. Yeah, so doesn't that make you feel better? Amazing, right? That's not where the episode ends though.

The episode ends in Six-Bay because we got to figure out what happened to Tripp Tucker's cloaked arm. It seems like it's getting back to normal, right? Yeah. Normal, except for the hole in his hand, which he can see right through. Is this a cloaca?

You know, like sometimes when you just get a paper cut or something, like not a real deep or painful wound, but like to something superficial, you just can't stop fidgeting with it. Yeah. I feel like if you had a hole in your hand, you could see through, you would just never stop touching it or pressing it or rubbing it or whatever. You'd be like going around like this with your hands over your eyes, like, I can see all of you. Oh yeah. Yeah, you'd Guillermo del Toro yourself.

Yeah. Then like the next diplomatic encounter they have Archer's like, that's our chief engineer. He's recently discovered object permanence. Did you like this episode, Ben? I like this episode a lot. I thought it was a real interesting little jaunt. And yeah, it's like, like, I think that without having the words prime directive, another interesting treatment by Enterprise of that idea and them kind of grappling with what their newfound position as possessors of very advanced technology means for the other people they might encounter in the galaxy. And I thought it was a really exciting little ride through that series of ideas.

How about you? I really liked it too. My big takeaway from it is that it sure did feel expensive to make, didn't it? It did, yeah. It wasn't just the compound set. It was all the little rooms in the compound. It was how well everything was lit. Beautifully lit.

It really had a polish and a richness scene to scene that you could feel. Totally. I was really impressed by it. I think it made the episode much better to feel like it had this kind of money thrown at it. So yeah, a great job to production is what I'll say. Well do you want to see if there's anything great in the Priority One inbox, Adam?

There always is, Ben. Priority One message from Starfleet coming in on Secure Channel. Need a supplemental income. Supplemental income? Supplemental. Supplemental. Yeah, it's extra. By the interest alone, could be enough to buy this ship.

All right, this one is of a promotional nature and goes like this. Are you a veteran? Are you a college student in Texas? Do you have thoughts about those things? I want to talk to you. I'm also a vet and in school and I'm trying to finish my doctoral project. I'm researching the experiences of student veterans like us. By sharing your insights, you could help improve support services and resources on campuses

nationwide. Participation is confidential and only takes an hour. For more information, email campusprojectatpm.me. Hey, this sounds great. Yeah, I'm all about this. And it sounds like very confidential if they're using proton mail to get their participants. I didn't get that reference. That's what I, yeah, I'm all about getting the resources for veterans, students or otherwise, once they're back home. So this sounds like a great

opportunity. Yeah. Why not participate? Especially if it's confidential. I know that we've got lots of former service people in our audience, so I hope folks will reach out. Yeah, good stuff. Ben, we've got a priority win message here from Matt in Seattle. It's to Tom in Seattle. Yeah, good stuff. Ben, we've got a priority win messenger from Matt in Seattle. It's to Tom in Seattle. Here's that message. Happy birthday to my best friend slash roommate

slash lover slash partner. All right. That sounds like a sequence, right? Yeah, that's the order. When we first lived together, I know my Star Trek fanaticism came down on you like a bird. A bird?

Yes, a large black bird flying towards you, shrieking. Will I keep having these flashbacks? A series of disjointed images in my mind. I was frightened. I felt fear. I must rejoin the collective. Hypnagogic regression. Flashbacks. Flashbacks?

You're a piece of meat. I am Gorg. You were Gorg. Somehow it never phased you. And that makes me the luckiest Trekkie on earth. I love you too. Wow.

That's so sweet. So it sounds like Tom and Matt are both listeners, but Tom has been tolerating Matt's Trek fandom. Yeah, potentially. But if Tom ever wants to enjoy this sweet and thoughtful

message from Matt, he better have kept on board as a listener, wouldn't you say? Yeah. I sure hope you did the right thing, Tom, by sticking with our stupid show. Matt, I'm glad you requested that particular drop. That is one of my favorite bits of business that Windius made for the show. Really fun.

If you'd like to get a priority one message on the show, head to maximumfun.org slash Jumbotron and set one up today. Hey, Ben. What's that, Adam? I know you found yourself a drunk Shimoda. Incredible. Drunk Shimoda.

I'm gonna give it to Dr. Tamik. Just the like, oh yeah, we're genetically engineered super soldiers and him going like, hmm, yeah, that does sound like what they probably are. Seems very plausible in the moment. That made me laugh. Mine's going to be Reed for doing the classic Reed thing. As soon as it appears as though they will be executed, Reed and his cell is like, what do you think T'Pol is going to do with our rarities and with the stack of love letters

that I keep in my quarters labeled send to my lovers in case of my death. Like, it just takes no effort at all to tip him over into the gloom of, I guess, what Reed's personality is, you know? This is just Reed being Reed. I don't know, man. If I'm Archer, how much of this do you put up with? I mean, you're in jail. There's not really, it's not like he can go anywhere. Yeah, he's stuck.

He starts raking his metal cup against the bars. Jailer, I need to go to the bathroom. There does seem to be a bunch of scenes where folks are stuck with Reed when he's doing this. Ha ha ha ha. Everyone gets a turn. Faith of the fart. Speaking of turns, Ben, it's our turn to talk about

what the next episode's gonna be of Enterprise and how we're going to experience the review of it. Yeah, that's true. The next episode is season two, episode nine, Singularity. While Enterprise is surveying a black hole in a trinary star system, the stellar phenomenon causes strange effects on the crew. Doesn't that sound like an episode where we should

have strange effects dictated to us by the Game of Buttholes? That sounds only fair. Think so too. Goch.biz slash game is where you can chart our progress. Indeed and I'm headed there right now to roll the hundred sided die. Currently we are on square 14. We could go anywhere. You're to learn as you play. Roll. Ooh, we came very close to a square, Adam. We jumped right past looking at each other during onto square 67.

Chula! Did I win? Hardly. That's a regular old episode for us. Also close to the decontamination chamber episode where we would be forced to record while only wearing underwear. Yeah, yeah. And this being a December 30th episode, I guess I'm also glad that we didn't land on a power hour episode or something. So close to New Year's, right? Yeah, yeah. We

might want to be cleaning up our acts in the New Year. Yeah, seems like it. Well, thanks to everyone who gave this episode a listen. If you liked it, consider leaving a nice review on Apple Podcasts or whatever podcasting app you prefer. Or leave a comment if that's the thing. Whatever it is helps. Sure does.

Speaking of helps, it takes a village to make this show. Yeah. Whatever it is helps. Sure does. Speaking of helps. Takes a village to make this show. A complex if you will. Shout out to our great producer, Windy Pretty. I'm trying to think of a James Bond bad guy character that she could be. Who's the one that throws his hat? Oh, Odd Job, Is that Oddjob?

God, Wendy would be Oddjob too, huh? Because she throws her hat? As a producer that does so much. Yeah, yeah. Hard to get headshots on Oddjob because he's a shorter character than the others in the game. Rob Adler also steps in to produce some shows sometimes, but mostly he's our social media Manager along with Bill Tilley keep things on the rails and all the places. Yeah follow at greatest Trek on all the accounts Repost a post if you if you see it and like it. Yeah, that helps too we've got to thank Adam Ragusea who made our parody ofne Warren's original theme for Star Trek Enterprise and

Dark Materia who made the original Picard song and With that we will be back at you next week with another great episode Star Trek Enterprise an episode of the greatest generation Enterprise or I guess like maybe that's the one where we roll a weird square because the Singularity is having a weird effect on us. See, that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. There's no weird effects in this episode. Mm-mm. In the regular.

Right. Yeah. Happy New Year! Woo! Woo! Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you. Hello listeners of the greatest generation and greatest trek. It is I, Ben Harrison, along with my friends Adam and Adam. We're the hosts of Wholesome, a brand new podcast about three friends sharing what they like with their friends.

I've known Ben and Adam for many, many years, and I can tell you that I am learning all sorts of new things about them over just the first handful of episodes. If you're interested in knowing any more about us, I think the Wholesome program is for you. Yeah, to spell it out for folks so normally one of us drives the pod car for any given episode and We will do sort of a written essay You might call it similar to the what you knew and loved from the friendly fire program that the boys did And it will lead to via often Rambling routes a topic that we would like to discuss for that day

Which is something that we like just something that we really love that we'd like to share with our buddies recent examples include sci-fi author I really like the car wash Steak houses Auxiliary refrigeration and American football This is a patreon only podcasts and once you've set up a membership American football.