The Greatest Generation - The Action Is the Vegetable Broth (VOY S7E25 & 26)

Episode Date: May 6, 2024

When Admiral Janeway has the sads on the anniversary of Voyager’s homecoming, she decides time travel is the best way to do a finale. But when Captain Janeway spreads the cheeks of a Borg-infested nebula, only vase face could decide the outcome of another shortcut home. Who needs to check for flight simulator updates? How did the loaf constrain the stakes? What’s at the bottom of the PAW Patrol kiddie pool? It’s the episode that keeps Marvin Berry in its thoughts.Support the production of The Greatest GenerationGet a thing at podshop.biz!Sign up for our mailing list!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Caretaker!The Greatest Generation is produced by Wynde PriddySocial media is managed by Rob Adler and Bill TilleyMusic by Adam Ragusea & Dark MateriaFriends of DeSoto for: Labor | Democracy | JusticeDiscuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen and find us on social media:YouTube | Facebook | X | Instagram | TikTok | Mastodon | Bluesky | ThreadsAnd check out these online communities run by FODs: Reddit | USS Hood Discord | Facebook group | Wikia | FriendsOfDeSoto.social

Many people thought the Share Your Embarrassment Tour was over, but it was just dormant. We are really excited to announce that right now tickets are on sale for the streaming CybOctacular. We filmed our Hollywood show last year and it's going to be streaming starting May 16th and available for a couple of weeks after that to anyone that holds a ticket. And if you have a MaxFun membership, you can get your ticket at a discount. Just check your inbox for an email for Max Fun with that code. If you aren't and would like to see the show, it's greatestgentour.com to get your tickets today. These shows are really fun. We put a lot of work into

high quality production values and if you get a VIP ticket we can even meet face-to-face over the internet. Get your tickets today at greatest gentour.com and we'll see you on May 16th. Here's to the finest crew in Starfleet. Engage! Watch your backs, Luke. I'm Luke. I'm Captain Captain.

Bring Janeway. The U.S.S. Forbender. I'm Captain Captain. Bring Janeway. The U.S.S. Forbender. I'm Captain Captain. The Captain. Welcome to The Greatest Generation. Captain Captain. The U.S.S. Board Adventure. Captain Captain.

Welcome to The Greatest Generation. It's a Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys just a little bit embarrassed about having a Star Trek podcast. I'm Adam Pranica. I'm Ben Harrison. It's my birthday! Wait, what?

Isn't that crazy? May the 6th, it's my birthday. That's when this episode comes out. You freaked me out, because we are not recording it the day that it comes out. Oh, you wouldn't have done anything anyway. How dare you? It doesn't matter. I celebrate you.

I celebrate our beautiful friendship. Yours is a household that does not observe Adam's birthday. Don't try to pretend. I flew to a whole ass country for your birthday one time. You did. Hold the Does Not Observe, Adam's Birthday. Don't try to pretend. I flew to a whole ass country for your birthday one time. You did. I remember. It was great. Yeah, here we are five years later. Five years since that day. God, I can't believe that. Which is today's future. Kind of bends your mind, doesn't it?

To think about time that way? Do you think that you, Adam, today, if you could, would fly back in time to warn that Adam then? I'd warn that Ben about a couple of decisions that were made during that trip. That's what I'd do. I'd make that the priority. Great sea urchin ceviche.

Yeah, I get blamed for that trip. Like what happened to me was my fault. It was not. I've got a great picture on my wall of that trip. Just like the picture you want from a moment in your life like that, where all your good buddies are around, all your friends and some family members and my wife was there.

Like we're just all in that pool, that disgusting pool together, having our picture taken after a night of revelry. The pork broth pool. It's fantastic. Yeah. I look at that picture all the time. What a moment. It was a very special trip.

Never a special or trip shall be had. Yeah, I'm probably not doing jack shit on this birthday. 45. No one does anything for that. We're at the end of a special trip today, aren't we, Mon Frere? It's really true. A trip that involves time travel, even. What do you know? It does. Isn't it always thus in a big Star Trek finale?

It's time travel. Time travel and the Borgs. Back to basics here, aren't we? We really are. Do you want to jump right in? This is a long episode. We got a lot to talk about. Yeah, we really do. Let's get into it, Ben. It's the series finale of Star Trek Voyager. into it, Ben. It's the series finale of Star Trek Voyager. It's episodes 25 and 26 of its seventh season. End game. Parts one and two. Unless you've got something a little bigger in your torpedo tubes, I'm not turning them out. Fireworks going off over the bay as Voyager kind of zips around, doing some fancy flying

here. Were you a little disappointed in Paris's flying here? I think if you have the chance, you got to go under that bridge. I was wondering if it fits. It looks like it would fit, right? Every flight simulator game I've ever had, I always fly under the Golden Gate Bridge. You got to. You get the biggest plane you can get and then you're flying under that bridge.

For years what I've been doing is flying under the key bridge and I'm not going to be able to do that anymore. I was like, I gotta get this bird to Baltimore. I was like, I gotta get this bird to Baltimore. Yeah, that's the worst part of that whole story. Yeah, that's the real tragedy. So for everyone out there running flight simulators, be sure to update your software on that. Make sure you get bridge accuracy. Yeah, there's a point update to

observe the truth about the Key Bridge. I love that they made a crowd of people on a fake Golden Gate for this though. Like it's like a shot that's like inside the TV. This is someone's special moment, like in their lives, like pointing up at a thing they can't see acting like they see Voyager flying by. Yeah.

Incredible. There'll be like hyperloop tubes behind you guys. It'll look like it's a nighttime. You just gotta express awe. You know what? This is acting. You stick people on the soundstage in Toronto. They got that giant infinity wall.

They're seeing everything. Yeah, could see the whole thing. Why don't you try using your imagination? That's what these people are doing in this scene. Yeah, as the camera pulls out, this is revealed to be kind of like footage of a historical event a historical event because this is when Voyager got home back in the day and the person viewing this footage is old Janeway. Look at her.

She's old. She's golden Janeway is what I wanna call her. She's drinking out of a dented mug of coffee, a mug that's so dented it made me wonder like what part she's drinking out of and how often she had to experiment to stop the burbles from like coming out of the side of her mouth. Oh yeah.

You gotta be careful. Gotta be careful. What years of hell must that coffee mug have gone through? Like a lot of captains, she looks out her gazing window, not to seduce a past person, but to think. Yeah, she's got a big think on, this is our cold open. It is a very brief little cold open that establishes the Voyager does make it home, and old Janeway is maybe rueful about the manner in which that happened. You see this wig from all angles starting in this cold open.

I just want to say this. This is an episode that really depends on that wig. It really does. I think that there's something about the way makeup and costume departments approach holding someone up for a part, which is that you're not, like when you're a sniper and you're trying to shoot somebody that's driving in a car,

you got to aim ahead of, you got to aim where they're going to be, right? Like when the bullet gets there. I don't think that's a luxury that costume and makeup departments have. They have to make somebody look old, which means old now. And old now then looked like this. Ah! Like I feel like all the old ladies now are going like a real short haircut, like low maintenance, you know, pixie cut kind of old lady look, but, but in

2001 or whenever this came out, old ladies were still, you know, big chunky jewelry, huge sweater, golf club, big hair. Fucking junk. Big chunky jewelry is such a great detail in this next scene. It's the reunion party at Admiral Janeways. And we see how broad the olding up has taken place here because like, I feel like when you got Garrett Wong in the chair, the only idea was puffy. Right.

Like, let's puffy this guy up. Yeah. Garrett Wong's going to have like a bit of an alcohol problem in his old age is the prediction that this guy up. Yeah, Garrett Wong's gonna have, like, a bit of an alcohol problem in his old age... is the prediction that this episode makes. Once he finally makes Captain, he's gonna feel a lot of pressure. And he's gonna need help with that. I was thinking, like, we are kind of recording this around as far in the future of these characters

as this episode projects some of them. So we actually know what they aged into. Garrett Wong looks great. I think most of the crew looks great. He looks amazing. The costume department did him dirty. Yeah, they really did. Or not the costume, the makeup.

I did actually wanna talk about the costumes, like being, like there's an era of TNG, like uniform that all of these finale episodes have to abide by, right? Yeah. Yeah, it's true. Get a couple of spins on those throughout the episode as well. We do. So yeah, this is a reunion party for the, I guess the date that the Voyager made at home. We're meeting Naomi Wildman's daughter. Yeah.

Look at her little horns. Yeah. Hey, also, this is an adult party. What are you doing here? Where's your mom? Yeah. She is not around. No.

Fabulous. There's some talk about a unwell Tuvok. You don't like hearing this. No. Makes you wonder what's going on with him. Also makes you wonder whose funeral they're talking about. Kim mentions this to Janeway. He mentions missing this funeral.

And my mind went directly to Tom Mervins. For the clothes you love to live in. Because we have a Admiral Janeway here that seems single, ready to mingle. She's wearing her, uh, her look at me broach. She's drinking two glasses of champagne. Oh yeah, she's wearing fuck me boots and a fuck me broach. Yeah. Yeah, that's where my mind went. Who did you think was dead that they were talking about?

Did you always think it was Chigote? Uh, I mean, I was like, man, that so much could be true of this future. Could it be Neelix? Could, could he be easy to get to now? Um. Kind of a lot of candidates for death. Yeah. Not many of the main cast in this room is, is why I think that feels the way it does.

I was also just thinking in this moment, I was very distracted thinking about what Captain Kim's captain's trinkets would be like, because he's got everything. He collects a little bit from every episode. I mean, we saw a spin on this in an episode not that long ago. Like he was enthusiastic about bringing all of his instruments into the room. Sure. But very few animals have all of their limbs still attached on his display case. He was stating the obvious again. Oh man. I think that the, speaking of people named Tom, Tom Paris's old guy love, probably the funniest of the bunch. And they actually like went intentionally funny with it.

No one asks Tom Paris why the long face. They just see old Tom Paris. Yeah, he's got like almost a Dr. Mark, or should I say Dr. Joe level baldness? Hmm. God, are we going to be struggling with this over the course of this episode? Like do we call future him Dr. Joe, but present to us him Dr. Mark? I am, I'm just going to say this right now.

I'm going to dead name him this entire episode. Oh, hi, Mark. I just am. We came up with Dr. Mark. I like Dr. Mark. It's said with affection. Yeah. Look, he can be Dr. Joe.

That's fine. But to me, he'll always be Dr. Mark. My pediatrician was named Dr. Joe. Too weird for me to call him that. I have to call him Dr. Mark. My pediatrician was named Dr. Joe. Too weird for me to call him that. I have to call him Dr. Mark. Yeah. Yeah.

You have very specific reasons that no one could possibly hate. Yeah. So shut up the social media. Check out his wife. Yeah. Check out a person ready to marry a hollow. Like that's how far society has advanced. She must be quite the libertine and he must have really upgraded his situation even more.

She's like, you know what I love about being married to a hollow? I get older and my spouse just stays the same age. And bald Paris is like, yeah. Am I making any sense here? Of course it's locked in. Do it. This one to me, very carefully,

because I'm only going to say this once. Do it. BLT asks Janeway for a favor in this scene. Something about submitting Korath's house for a seat on the High Council. It seems like pretty typical political stuff happening between them. There's something that they've talked about before. This doesn't come as a surprise to anyone involved. And this conversation is interrupted by an old Reginald Barclay, who clinks his glass and gives a toast. And here's the thing about this scene,

like great toast Barkley, he gets tagged by a Janeway who basically pushes play on an in memoriam reel that takes all the air out of the room. Like there cannot be two seconds of joy about what Barkley has said here before she comes in there. Yeah. I mean, I didn't really experience any joy

because we were looking up into his old manloaf, which was not flattering. Hard to know who fell out of the old tree worse in this group of folks. I mean, clearly the one who got it the best was Kate Mulgrew. Like, best makeup, best hair. Absolutely. But yeah, like, I wonder what they use for old

punch under these uniforms. Like, are they just like wrapped in like, you know, quilt padding or something like that? I think they had many versions of Roxanne Dawson's pregnant belly and they just had the early ones Does mine really have to come with breasts too Yes, Robert Duncan McNeil For the last time yes, you can just fold them under if you don't want them There's a couple of strips of masking tape.

You can mash them down. The communications research center, still a thing, still unchanged. They have not changed this building. One iota. And Barkley's there doing a presentation about the borgs to a group of students. And there's Janeway sitting on the panel. That's got to feel great if you're an Academy student. An Academy student class that seems to be wearing janitorial outfits with com badges on them.

Like a totally new spin on Academy wear, I think. Yeah, I mean, at least Wesley Crusher got like cargo pants and stuff. Yeah, it's gonna be an exciting class because everyone's interested in the Borgs. Everyone in this class is as interested in the Borgs as the writers of this episode think the audience will be interested by them in creating this series finale. It did sort of feel like a, if you're just tuning into Star Trek Voyager, here's what the Borgs are.

Here's a question. Why is Janeway even there if she's not going to answer any questions about her experiences with the Borgs? Because she doesn't answer the first one. And then she totally deflects the second. And then after that deflection, some guy walks in and tells her that an A story has hit the North Tower and she leaves the classroom without saying goodbye. She puts her book down that she's been holding upside down. The finale is under attack, Admiral Janeway. Yeah, finale determined to attack inside episode. So in an office, Janeway takes a FaceTime call from Morale Paris, the daughter

of BLT and Tom Paris, and she's all, hey Admiral Janeway, you know that thing you've been asking about? Well it works! And Janeway's like, why are you yelling like, like that bam leader in Back to the Future? I get that reference. Yeah. That movie's a classic. It was made a long time ago, but I still watch it all the time. How in an episode like this could any of us keep Marvin Barry out of our thoughts? Koroth is down to do this exchange for whatever this thing is, except he wants to do it in person.

So there's that. Yeah. Admiral Janeway is going to have to go out there and do that, but before she does, she's going to pay what she believes may be a final visit to Tuvok, who is scribblings of a mad man mad and living on the floor of a room that does have a lot of open flames given how unsound of mind he has presented us being. And how much flammable product is in this room. It's gotta be so frustrating in anyone's advanced age to be light sensitive

and also wanting to scribble the thoughts of your madness. Like, you got to choose one, right? Choose the candlelight or choose the bright light. And Tuvak's clearly frustrated by his circumstances. Yeah. You hate to see it. She's here to say goodbye forever. We learned that this has been, they sort of all come pay him a visit. Everybody's got a day that they come check in on him, but yeah, he's really lost his marbles and they must be down here on the floor somewhere, which is why he's crouching. Before Janeway goes, she gives Tuvok a framed photograph of my 40th birthday in the pork broth pool. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Probably not a room or facility you want. It's something that you can break into glass shards,

I would say. Yeah, I hope that's like the kind of material they make like phone screens out of, you know? Yeah. Like super duper rugged. That night in Janeway's apartment, Dr. Mark is there to make a house call. House call to a patient who never wants that.

So that's unusual. And even more unusual is that when the doctor gets there, Janeway asks about cronexylene. I'm sorry, Ben, is chrono a root word of this drug? No, it's just for old ladies. Yeah. Yeah, it's a drug for old women specifically. And? It's very promising. Why do you ask? It's billed as an anti-radiation drug, and the advertisements have been on TV.

God, they just bombard you with this stuff. Ask your doctor about cronexylene. See if cronexylene is right for you. Look for our advertisement in Golf Digest. Not only is it right for Janeway, 2000 milligrams is right for her. And Dr. Mark, which is a name I will continue to use for him, is more than happy to write his friend a little script for that. Yeah, but it's like in testing, so it's a little bit illicit, which I really liked.

Yeah, he'll do it. He's a dirty doctor, isn't he? Yeah, I mean, I was looking for his mobile emitter. It's not in this scene. And I was wondering if they like solved for that or if they made it like ultra tiny in this future or what. Great question. We don't know.

Ben, when do you become a mob doctor? And is that what the doctor is here? I feel like mob doctor willing to write any script, willing to dig bullets out of a birdies, willing to dispose of bodies. Like, I feel like there's a line here that Dr. Mark crosses, maybe he's a mob doctor now. Yeah.

I mean, he must have recently graduated veterinary school or something. Indeed. It seems like it's even later on the same day we're back in the communications research center. It feels like Janeway is just going around and around doing her errands because Barkley's there to give Janeway a little device with some Borg stuff on it and a thermos with some tea in it lets her know that her uber shuttle is ready on standby and There's one last thing Janeway's got to do. She's got to go to Anybody Canyon Which is where Chacote's birdie is buried she's got to go to Anybody Canyon. Anybody!

Which is where Chacote's birdie is buried. Yeah. Isn't everything about this composition Anybody Canyon? It's weird. It really is. Yeah, like if Anybody Canyon was a little bit more verdant, it would have been this. It also really brought back the weird grass hill that Tasha Yar's self eulogy took place on.

Because I've died. Yeah. It's a very Star Trek look, this moment. This is her visiting the graveside of Chakotay, who I don't think I ever really thought about it before this moment, is like Madonna. There's just one name. It's just Chakotay. You know, it's not like Chakotay Jones or,

or like Hank Chakotay. It's Chakotay Feldstein. And you're like, what? I mean, sure. He's just kind of more connected to one side of his family's heritage than the other. This grave has been untended for a while because Janeway's got to do that wipe of the headstone with the reveal, but you know who's in that grave before you even see it. Hear the pan flute music.

That's how you know. She promises to make things right for Chikote and for everyone else, and off she goes. RSVPichacote. We cut to Voyager in space and it's inside Paris and BLT's condo. The baby is coming. Yeah, this is the panicky get up in the middle of the night. You know, it was very, very similar to my experience. Like, I was like about to be asleep and was notified, like, OK, time to drive.

That must have been so fucking annoying. Were you like, OK, the Lyft is going to be here in 10. But I got you an XL. I'm going to catch up with you, all right? Look, this may be my last chance to sleep for a long, long time. I was just glad because our delivery hospital was on the west side and I was like, this is amazing. Like, no traffic for this.

You know, when you say delivery hospital, I just expected them to send the doctors to you. In Six Bay, we learn it's not their time. The labor is a fake. Tell me you're joking. Again? And this is very frustrating for the both because they've been through this a couple times now. Yeah.

You went through this a couple times too, right? No. Or was this just a one-hit wonder? We had a total one-hit wonder. No to Braxton Kahik's false labor situation. We cut over to the ready room and Janeway and Chakotay are at the exact same time as this scene in Six Bay, working over the ship status report and talking about the bedding pool on the ship.

Yeah. That has to do with when the baby will come. This is a pool that I would absolutely participate in. I would ask about how many squares I could buy. Like, what's the maximum? All I do is bet, bet, bet. I mean, yeah, do you just buy like enough that you make money if it hits, but no more?

Or like, how does that work? I mean, you just want to give yourself an edge wherever possible. Whatever helps you feel anything during the gamble. Right. Tell him to put me down for next Friday. As Michael Jordan used to say when asked how much he wanted to gamble on, like when he'd play golf with someone else, Jordan would say, how much makes you uncomfortable?

I liked some of the menu items that Chell had pitched for the lunchroom. The Boolean guys looking to take over for Neelix. Hey, creation and Star Trek Las Vegas, Chell is putting more thought into the menu on Voyager than you ever have for any food item at your event. So I don't know, maybe think about that. Can you do it better than Chell? Yeah, more of a question for the people running this than for any of you actors up on stage.

I'm getting ready to take my answer in the food line and I saw what was on offer in the food line and I'm like a little confused as to how it's just hot dog like no space dog even like nothing no hot tar like I'm just spitting spitballing here like something better than that but you know anything? Uh yeah! Why do you sound like me? It's almost like most of your impressions are just the same guy.

Egypt! Does it work when it's the mic sound effect but also the sewage pipe sound effect on the same thing? It's almost like the comedy is fully dependent on studio magic. And neither of the hosts. And alike. So, Janeway proposes lunch to Chakotay, but he's got a decline. He has other plans, but with who?

We cut over to the cargo bay to find out. And there is a picnic set up that Seven has put together. And oh my God, she's a floor fucker, isn't she? Never told me that shit. Okay, I like to have sex on the floor. How uncomfortable would it be picnicking on the floor of the cargo bay before you're like, God, I could really use a chair with a back on it. Yeah.

Got to get it. I got a, I got a picnic blanket from, uh, from Target recently that's got some, some padding in it. It's real nice. Cause like occasionally you are at a situation where you need to sit down on a hard surface, got that thing with you, you're all set. It sucks to not have padding.

Yeah. You telling me that in the 23rd century or whatever the fuck this is, they don't have padding in the picnic blankets? The picnic blanket should be an air mattress basically in the 24th century. It should be the most comfortable place. Just a shocking revelation that these two are dating.

Yeah. And also that Seven is like cracking smiles and stuff. I was just blown away by that. She seems like a different character all of a sudden. It's the third date. So there's got to be floor fucking, right? Is that still a thing? I was thinking maybe third date is third base for, for seven, because she wants to do everything like super precisely.

But crucially, she still has that thing in her brains that's going to start shooting wharf lightning if she gets turned on. So maybe that's not on the table. Maybe that takes the pressure off. So maybe that's not on the table. Maybe that takes the pressure off. Wow. That's nice. You know? There's not going to be any floor fucking. She can't. Her Tinder profile had like a long paragraph about being an ex-B and what that meant for

her, which filtered out a lot of people that would not be appropriate love interests for her. It's confusing because like the thing in her head that stops the fucking is one thing, but also like she put out a blanket and that can also mean something else. That she's willing to endure something in order to have sexy times.

On today's episode of the semiotics of floor fucking, Adam presents a thesis that I think many will find hard to argue with. Come over to the mess hall where Ichab is playing kalto with Tuvok while Kim does a thing he's made to do so often. He's just got to watch. Oh, yeah, you like that, Kim, don't you? Just fucking watch. That actually does make me think, like the reason Seven filtered out Kim

as a romantic partner is he would not tolerate third date no sex, you know. That's true, yeah. That's too important for him. I lasted 22 minutes. I lost all of my money betting on Tuvok. Tuvok, a heavy favorite here, but still like a little bit of value

if you put enough coin on him. Nope, Egypt wins. Calto. You beat him. And the look on Tuvok's face is one of great distress. I also lost you a lot of money. And I mean, I guess I also always have a look of money. And, uh, I mean, I guess I also... always have a look of great distress on my face.

But that's more just an occupational hazard. It's because my sense of smell is so developed. Ha ha ha ha! I hate my life! Really fucked up when I didn't get my application to rent the lunchroom in, I had a chow. Hey Aechoo! Great win by you! It's awesome to know that one of the brothers is doing so great. Or whatever. So, congratulations.

Sorry, I bet against you, that was my bad. When Tuvok says he's gotta leave immediately, I'm thinking the worst, he's gonna go meditate or something. But instead he goes to Six Bay, and Dr. Mark is there to tell him that his disease has progressed, and they're just gonna have to keep throwing more and more drugs at this thing. And I don't know. You want to tell

the captain at this point? Seems like it might be a good idea if her main security guy is compromised in any way? Nah. Nope. Don't tell her. Not yet. Yeah. I couldn't tell if this was meant to be ominous or not because the doctor is both like, oh yeah, I'll just up your dose and you're going to be fine for like a long time. Also, shouldn't you be telling people about this? You know, like it's, it seemed like he had like dual agendas with the way he was talking about it.

I have not yet been diagnosed with a, a mortal disease. That you're willing to tell me about. But I've got to believe that a doctor wouldn't both diagnose me and also tell me to tell people. Right? Like that's not part of care, is it? I don't know. Like it's not only here's the news and here's what you should do with it. I would find that unusual.

Yeah, but like most of the time your doctor isn't also your boss's doctor and everyone you know's doctor. That's tough. I would not like that. Yeah. Don't serve on a ship, I guess is the moral of the story for you. Over in the ass lab, Seven is playing games of her own, only this time it's Kada Scott with Neelix over FaceTime. And this is such a comfortable throwback to moments in Star Trek episodes where you, here I'll demonstrate in the camera, where you get people looking off like a cross camera to have a conversation with someone on the reverse shot.

And you get a bunch of this in this scene. I don't know why I love it so much, I just do. It's the best. It rules. It's a real game heavy little sequence of scenes here. Like they cut back to the shuttle bay and Chakotay's nursing a broken pelvis. Just like...

Like, totally like he's in the fetal position on the picnic blanket. And that's a moment where you really wish that thing had some padding. He's like, this is worse than the time that holographic character got deleted out from under me. One of our more interesting missions.

Yeah, this is just a kind of a scene to wrap up Neelix as a guy. Seems like happily becoming the parent figure to Brax and getting ready to propose marriage to this lady. And then, you know, asking Seven about her romantic life. He's pretty psyched because he hasn't had to tell Dexa about his previous relationship and her age. Which I think would be a strain this early on. There's really no way for her to find out, ever. It's two bad voyagers getting out of communication range.

That problem's going to be over. That's enough of my love life. How about yours? So mid-conversation, seven picks up a thing and the thing is a reading about a nebula that's got hundreds of distinct, maybe wormholes inside of it. We've never seen a nebula this crawling with wormholes. Yeah.

This is incredible, the possibilities. You spread the two cheeks of the nebula aside and you're expecting one hole in there. And it's like filled with tapeworms. Oh God. It's a real Lindsey Graham situation, let's just say. Allegedly. Allegedly. Lady G is.

But they're like, okay, cool. Like this again feels like maybe a way home. So let's take it seriously. We cut over to the Starfleet Medical Center of the Future where Tuvok is now full on wrecking his room like a touring band at like four in the morning. And Dr. Mark and a nurse observe him and he's just raving and spewing numbers and stuff. And he's talking about an old mission where he saved Janeway from being abducted.

And Tuvok was the one who saved her. And they're like, well, if we could just like bring Admiral Janeway in being abducted and Tubak was the one who saved her. And they're like, well, if we could just bring Admiral Janeway in here to prove that she's alive, I mean, that would certainly be proof enough for him. A man who responds to logic. Yeah. And if only one of the two other people in this room noteworthily had the ability to appear as though they were Janeway at any time. That is such a great point. Don't you want them to feel better, Dr. Mark? Why can't you just shape shift into Janeway?

Go outside. Yeah. I'll be right back with Janeway, but I gotta go to the bathroom. So Dr. Mark goes like behind a couch and he's like, all right, I'm going to hit the elevator here. Hello, I'm Admiral Janeway. Just checking in on my best buddy Tuvok. I'm just coming in here on this canoe. Yeah. Yeah.

Tuvok fucking loves this. He is so happy. Clapping his hands, jumping up and down. This is an amazing illusion. Dr. Mark goes to ask Barclay about where Janeway might be and Barclay is kind of covering him up until the stammering comes back. Like Dr. Mark kind of doesn't take bullshit for an answer. And when future Barclay starts to resemble present Barclay, Dr. Mark knows that he's

fucking full of shit. I've got an observation that is related a little bit to the Cal Hudson theory of com badges. Yeah. Take a look at this scene and look at Barclay's badge, and look at the doctor's badge. Is the doctor's badge bigger than Barclays? I watched the scene over and over again

and I'm almost positive it is, like 25% bigger. Yeah, cause Robert Picardo is like a smaller guy than Dwight Schultz. Yeah. And you would think that like the old man makeup that Dwight Schultz has on, which makes him look disturbingly similar to Ned Beatty, would be enough to establish who was the dominant character in this scene. Yeah.

But no, it's also, there's a combatch discrepancy. I just think that's weird. I just had to say that. I had to unburden myself with that idea. I think the badges are different size. So we cut over to a Starfleet Command brat style shuttle. Just tell them it saves you money, buster. Where Admiral Janeway has beamed from there into some Star Trek caves and they're already

lit by torches and there's Ensign Morale Paris there to greet. She's got a couple of Klingon dudes with her dressed as all Klingons have ever been dressed over the decades. They look great. She doesn't get along with these folks. And to morale Paris anyway. And Janeway kind of dismisses her abruptly. This seems hurtful to morale Paris. She's done all this work to broker this deal.

And Golden Janeway is like, time to go. I'm going in solo. Sorry, but this is where we part ways. Excuse me? You're dismissed, Ensign. She goes to meet Koroth herself. And Koroth does that thing where he plays hard item

to get with her. And Janeway is just very demanding in this scene. Koroth wants to change the terms of the deal. He wants that weird shield technology that the Bratz got in addition to whatever else was on the table before. Koroth got his seat on the high council bought for him basically by Janeway's machinations. And this device that he is tinkering on is supposed

to be payment for that, but he's trying to flip the script on her and yeah, she does not take kindly to this affront. And yeah, she does not take kindly to this affront. And meanwhile, back in the past, Janeway current is, OG Janeway is trying to enter this nebula. The bangers are hitting them, they're at red alert. They're heading for the center. That's what they're trying to do. But once they get close, they get rolled up on by a giant Borg ship

and it almost collides with them. What a great sequence. Really cool looking. I mean, I feel like this is more inspirational to some of the stuff we saw with Borg's cubes in Star Trek Picard than anything we saw in TNG. Yeah. Yeah. I think playing with the scale of these Borg ships

is something that they got a better handle on in the new Star Trek series. But I feel like they should have played with this throughout all of the Star Trek series at all their interactions. I love that like, you know, four by four rig blowing past you on the highway feeling of the Voyager being close and it like rattles the windows a little bit.

Yeah. We cut to the interior of a Borg's environment and get a BQ reveal of a BQ played by Alice Krieg. She picked up the phone. She picked up the phone. She picks up the phone. Pretty great. Yeah. There have been several queens played by several actors.

God, she's just the best. She's the best. She's first and best. Yeah. Yeah. She's special. The drones tell her that, all right, we're going gonna go assimilate that ship. It's what we do. We're the drones.

And the Borg Queen tells them to back off. Yeah. Leave them alone. She does not want to pursue. And this is confusing. In the Voyager briefing room, I think they're confused by this too. They're like, well, did that cube just not see us? Why didn't they pursue and attempt to assimilate? Harry Kim is like, there's

only 47 cubes in the nebula. Let's get at those wormholes. And this is like classic pre-wormhole thinking. Like you don't think about the big picture, you just think about the wormhole you want. He needs a refractory period where he could realize how insane this idea is. We can't just give up on those wormholes. Oh yes, we can. The sight when you spread those two cheeks apart after wormhole experience is a little bit more troubling than when you're in the height of passion. more troubling than when you're in the height of passion. Yeah. Later, we find Voyager underway again in regular space

and in a corridor, Kim hits up Tom Paris for some fun but his idea of fun is not a holodeck program. It's modifying the Delta Flyer to get past the borgs and mess around with those wormholes in the nebula. And Paris, he's got a baby on the way. He's got too much to lose now. He doesn't want to play these games. No.

Where's your sense of adventure? I left it in that nebula and I'm not going back for it. He's put away childish things. Yeah. Like messing with borgholes. Yeah. Look, I did that in the academy and, I mean, to be honest, a little bit in prison. But um...

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parenting. This is going to be a year of celebrating all that makes this podcast and this community magical. I'm so glad that I found your podcast. I just cannot thank you enough for just being the voice of reason as I'm trying to figure all of this out. Thank you and cheers to your incredible show and the vision you had to provide this space for all of us.

This is still a show about life after giving life. And yes, there will be swears. You can find us on maximumfun.org. And as always, you are doing a great job. All right, class, tomorrow's exam will cover the science of cosmic rays, the morals of art forgery, and whether or not fish can drown. Any questions?

Yes, you in the back. Uh, what is this? It's the podcast Let's Learn Everything! Where we learn about science and a bit of everything else. My name's Tom, I study cognitive and computer science, but I'll also be your teacher for intermediate emojis. My name's Caroline and I did my masters in biodiversity conservation and I'll be teaching you intro to things the British Museum stole.

My name's Ella, I did a PhD in stem cell biology, so obviously I'll be teaching you the history of fan fiction. Class meets every other Thursday on Maximum Fun. So do I still get credit for this? No. Obviously not. No. It's a podcast. Will I get credit for this? No. No. Obviously not. No.

It's a podcast. In the ass lab, we get the briefest scene where Chakote visits Seven and asks her for a fourth date. So this would be rounding the bases, right? This is what he's aiming for is, is taking it home. I think when you go and see a baseball game, a runner will reach the fourth base, thus scoring a run. That's an important part of baseball.

Yeah. Is it not? There are four sides to the diamond, Adam. I know. You're right. You've always been right. Yeah, I know about sports, but that's not gonna work for seven.

What with the cortical node and the fail safe? Yeah. Yeah, she wants to experience the full spectrum of emotions that this thing prevents her from feeling. And the doctor is the parent that is excited to talk about sex with their child, their sex-aged child, and is like, let's get into it. Let's take this thing out.

I learned how to do it in one procedure. You should know that much. And then maybe we can review how things work or whatever. You know? I'm always at your disposal. I appreciate that. Really? Boy, he is just unable to keep it professional. Dr. Mark sucks for seven. Like there's, you know, sometimes troubling scenes

will occur on shows like 20 years ago and you're like, well scenes will occur on shows like 20 years ago. And you're like, well, geez, that's like 20 years ago. We've gotten a lot better now. I'm not so sure that's the case. The scene and seems like it just sucked. Like I wish there were more doctors on this ship because I think Seven needs a new one. She needs a new one. This one is not safe or good for her. And also, when they had this moment, I was like, didn't we already do the tearful confession of love with the doctor? Do we need this scene? And then it made me think about his wife in the future. And I was like, God, is the implication that she is just like a second best,

cause she has like very similar coloring and features to Jerry Ryan? Like, Oh boy, if that date had a bun, that would be very suggestive. I wonder if they thought about that. I didn't like this moment. Didn't like this whole situation for the doctor in seven. She declines the invitation for more sex education. She says she's got this doc. Then she goes about her business.

Yeah. So Admiral Janeway comes back to talk Turkey with Korof and he's just hanging out in his Star Trek cave that also seems to have like a Klingon bridge in it. I do not know how any of this works. It's incredible in there. She will give Koroth the shield emitter, but she wants to check out the goods first. Show me the goods, Koroth. Both.

Whip it out. Both. Do you think Klingon pants have two zippers? Wouldn't that make it easier? If you were a pull it through the zipper kind of person, which I have never been. What do you mean you've never been? You never pull down the zipper and pull it through? Nope.

I hit the button and pull down the zipper. I'm going over the top. Huh. Is that wrong? Personal preference. I'm going over to the top. Huh. Is that wrong? Personal preference. I don't, I'm not passing judgment. You're a through the zipper, aren't you? I use the, uh, the designed situation as intended. Pants don't have instructions.

That's, that's not the way you're supposed to. I think you have the choice. Okay. Yeah, you have the choice. It's fine. Oh, that tone. That tone is very judgy. It's not judgy.

You can use your pants your way and I'll use them my way the way they were supposed to be used. The question remains, Ben. Two zippers or one? He took them out. I think it's one zipper. I think it's one slightly longer zipper for a Klingon man. Yeah. You just need to make the hole bigger so you can yank them both out, right?

Right. So he has like a TV remote that reveals that one of the rock walls in his bridge was a hologram and Janeway goes to scan this gadget that he's been working on for her with her. Like they came up with like a whole new tricorder just for this episode, which I love. And it looks awesome. Like it's so good looking. She scans this thing, she's like, it's perfect.

Later assholes and beams up with it. She heists it. She's like, it's perfect. Later assholes and beams up with it. She heists it. I love this for her. Yeah. I think it also suggests the lengths that Golden Janeway will go to achieve mission success, right? Absolutely. Like, uh, she will, uh, she will dishonor a Klingon gladly.

Yeah. She gets on the, Brat and punches it toward the coordinates she's got set up. And it's got like Batmobile armor. Yeah, this thing looks great. Love it. So cool. Uh-oh.

At those coordinates, it's Harry Kim's ship, the Rhode Island. Why did they give him a ship named after the smallest state? What does that suggest? What the hell? That sucks so much. Captain Kim is there to arrest her and I was shocked by this moment. Golden Janeway gives herself over. She gives up and on the Rhode Island, it's Captain Kim and her talking it over. She's not in the clink. She's not in trouble. He's a captain now. He can make this easy for

her if he wants to. Her plan is known to him. He asked Barkley and the doctor all about it. So he knows what's up. But here's the thing. The viewer does not. The viewer doesn't know about this plan until much, much later. So they're talking about a thing that we don't know at this point. But what we do know is that it's risky. It's really risky.

It is a bad deal, but these two characters have a ton of history. And I think this is like one of the best justified moments in this episode is Golden Janeway saying, you got to trust my judgment on this captain. And Captain Kim being like, of course, like, oh, Captain, my captain, you know? Golden Janeway is like, the action is the juice. And Kim just stares at her blankly like, what? Oh, the action is the vegetable broth. He's like, oh, gotcha.

You should really know I'm into the great movies, like Back to the Future and Heat. So back in the past, hot date between seven and Chikote and seven beams into his room and then falls into his arms. Is she there to fuck? I mean, she had the procedure presumably and brought suggestive flowers. Oh yeah, very suggestive flowers. Oh yeah. Very suggestive. His favorite, he proposes going and putting them in water. And she's like, nah, I've got all the moisture you need right here.

We're going to put a different stem in a different moist thing. Sounds great. Oh, what a terrible time to get a call from the bridge. Janeway wants all the senior officers to come up there and we've got two senior officers that are gonna need a uniform change before going, I think. Face suck interruptus.

Yeah. Next time we deactivate the comm system. There's a temporal rift that they are picking up. I thought that was interesting the way they structured these kind of cross cuts because there's a temporal rift being picked up by Voyager and then Golden Janeway is on the shuttle with Captain Kim not having done anything to open a temporal rift yet in the future. They're just talking about it. And talking about how Golden Chainway is not envisaging

a way of coming back from the journey she's about to take. When Captain Kim beams off of the Super Brat, he doesn't even say goodbye. I thought this was so unusual. Like, there's an understanding that this is a one-way trip and she might die in the process. But man, Garrowon gets a good scene in this episode later, but how much I wanted a moment

between these two characters in this moment. Like, something for him to say that was important, but now he just beams away with no last words for her. Do you think that that's just like an artifact of like nobody in TV or movie saying goodbye when they hang up a phone? Let me tell you something, that shit would never fly on Discovery you're saying your feelings you're saying all of them every single feeling you've ever had she opens this this time rift with her new gadget,

the Chrono Deflector, as a bunch of Klingon ships come out of cloak and start shooting at her. How great are these Klingon ships? They look amazing. They look good, yeah. I don't think we've ever seen this design before, have we? Even these awesome ships are no match

for the Batman brat with its shields up. Yeah, the bat brat? That may do it. Yeah. So she's going through, but she does blow in a SOS to the Rhode Island, which comes and makes pretty quick work of these Klingon battle cruisers, which I thought spoke well of the Federation's ship design going into the future. Yeah. I like that a lot.

It was kind of a transitional design between the Voyager and the Proto Star, I thought, the Rhode Island. Yeah. Yeah. It looked good. Looks better than the Enterprise-E. Wow. Tell you that much. Savage. Yeah. The brat makes it through and she gets on FaceTime with her younger self and he's like, you gotta close up that hole. Close that hole up.

Couple of Klingon ships coming through. If you don't close that hole up and they're future Klingon ships, they will kick your fucking ass. What do you think happens to these Klingon ships when the hole gets closed? Do you think they're destroyed? I wanted to see the hole close like halfway across both of them, you know? Yeah, and just cut them in half.

Yeah. Like your ass is in the future and your face is in the past. Yeah. It happens then. That's some booty in the air shit I can really get behind. The Borgs Queen has watched all of this on TV. Yeah. She's watching Star Trek on Star Trek.

I love this for the finale. Yeah. Playing all the hits. They really are. So Golden Janeway has said that she's there to bring Voyager home and in Janeway Prime's ready room, she starts telling her all the details about the future, which she doesn't want to hear. So they changed the subject to the past.

Captain Janeway not psyched about any Prime directive, temporal or otherwise violations. And Golden Janeway is pretty ready to rough shot over that stuff. But yeah, she wants them to go back to that Borg's Hive, the nebula that they passed. She's brought all the gear for them to do it. All of this tech I've got on my super brat is going to help you with weapons, gonna help you with shields, it's gonna help you get right where you need to go.

And look, you may be satisfied in getting home in many, many years, like I'm living proof. Look at me, I come from a future where you do make it home. Let me tell you something, that future fucking sucks because people died. People that you really care about. So I'm, I'm begging you take my stuff and go home early. The 16 more years of travel specter, I feel like is very motivating for Janeway,

but she is, she's still uneasy about this whole thing. Do you think if they changed the amount of years this would hit different? Because when I think of 16 years, I'm like, yeah, that sucks, but I mean, it's better than 80 or whatever it was when the show started. I feel pretty good about 16 years, but like, I know they cut a lot off of the

distance already, but like, if there were still 25 years, I think that would change the curvature of this choice a little bit in an interesting way. Yeah. I think there's something to that. I guess there was probably a, just a constraint on the loaf, right? Like they had to be like, okay, she has to like look older, but like plausibly she could like pilot a starship. She can't look like- This is Kate Mulgrew. We can't go full Pulaski on her.

Right. We burn that loaf. We can't have it like we're looking at Dr. McCoy and the pilot of TNG for the entire fucking episode, you know? Yeah, that would wreck it. You're right. You know what? That is why.

Yeah. But I think you make a good point. Like, if a future version of Ben Harrison showed up in my office right now and was like, you got to stop. You got to stop what you're doing, or you're going to be doing The Greatest Generation for 16 more years, I'd be like, I don't care you gotta stop what you're doing, or you're gonna be doing the greatest generation for 16 more years. I'd be like, I don't care if I live or die, bring it on.

I was just over at Adam's studio and he said he'd stop. I didn't even have to finish the statement. He's done. Yeah. But then if it was like 25 years, I'd be like, that does sound like a long time. Yeah, that sounds really bad. So at this point, they decide to do a medical scan because we got to know for sure if Golden Jane Way is the real deal. And in Six Bay, they're able to prove that she is.

And also, there's a weird implant in her brains. What's that about? Yeah, got a computer chip that enables her to neurally link with a ship. I wonder where they got that idea. Yeah, wild. And it's a chip that doesn't exist yet, but Dr. Mark will design in an alternate future.

Tell me, what other extraordinary breakthroughs am I going to make? Doctor. We also get a little report from Seven on, oh yeah, like all the crap on her shuttle can be adapted to work on Voyager. This is a moment that really brings Golden Janeway to an abrupt halt. She is really stunned by seeing Seven. Seven does not give any shit about what she's seen, even though she's walking into a room,

seeing Golden Janeway and Janeway Prime, like she doesn't even flinch at this. This is Star Trek. These things happen. I can feel the full range of emotions, and this doesn't feel flinch at this. This is Star Trek. These things happen. I can feel the full range of emotions and this doesn't feel like anything to me. So we get a Janeways log here and a passage of time. They're upgrading Voyager with all this tech from the Brat style shuttle.

And most of these upgrades involve these metal patches on the hull. And when these mods are done, they go head straight for that nebula. And on their way, the BQ blows in a call to her erstwhile tertiary adjunct. I wasn't quite sure how, like how we were supposed to interpret this scene

because it almost was like they were in the same room together, right? Like it's not seven waking up on her charging Matt and The BQ is like literally there in the room with her, right? They just kind of like cross-cutting and and the backgrounds being similar because they're both Borgie backgrounds make it look like they're in the same room You notice discovery did this really well a couple of times right? Where long distance communication somehow merged the two places in one that seems to be kind of a version of what we're seeing here. Yeah. Her message is a threat. She's like, don't come to the nebula, I don't want you here. And if you try, unspecified bad things will happen

up to and including the destruction of the ship. Yeah, and like, you've basically got a free pass as long as you don't spread those cheeks, you know? Right. As like one last little threat, Seven gets wharf lightninged out of her stand up bed and goes to the ground. There is clearly a real medical emergency happening in the cargo bay after she gets zapped and the computer has the least useful message about this.

Warning, regeneration cycle incomplete. My bed had the ability to tell me I didn't get enough sleep. I would have to turn that feature off because that would happen every time. It's like when you plug in an electric car and it says it doesn't charge, like that's how flat this message is. It's crazy. They have a little meetup about this in Sixpeh where she explains to the Janeways, the Jane's Way? Mm-hmm. About what the Borg's queen wanted.

And they're like, God, it's so weirdly specific that she doesn't want us to go into that nebula. Golden Janeway is so confident here. She's like, that doesn't mean shit. I gave you all this gear off of the super brat. These are past Borgs. And with that technology and her future strategies, like she is resolute. Like the nebula is where they should go. Yeah.

They continue to go and we get a flirty little scene in the ass lab between Seven and Chakotay. It's weird because like, I mean, we're just so used to Seven and like, they take the character in a very noticeably different direction in this final episode. I'm just like, wow. The character done developed. episode, I was just like, wow, the character done developed. Yeah. I mean, I love this gear for Jerry Ryan and I like the idea of this relationship in general, but I wish we had more of this to be honest.

Yeah. Yeah. A little bit more lead up would have made this feel a little bit more justified. I think like, wouldn't it be nice if there was a scene where she was in the holodeck with Holo Chikote and actual Chikote, like, found out about it and was, like, felt really violated and creeped out by the fact that she would do that behind his back? We have a lot to talk about, Mr. Barkley. And then she had to convince him

to, like, take her seriously as a romantic partner, you know, like that would have been something, right? Her program has kind of a different version of Chakotay where he wears clothes that don't really fit him and his hair is all kind of fucked up. But then, like, Chakotay walks down the stairs after a makeover. And he is beautiful. Seven's like, this is what I've always wanted. Wow.

Chakotay's like, I'm a hollow dildo? I'm a goddamn hollow dildo? They start talking about the future, like it's gonna happen. That's what's so notable about this scene. Like for seven seasons, crew people have talked to each other about like, boy, wouldn't it be great to eat a meal

that your parents make for you again, or like, go to that lake on vacation that you miss so much. But now they're like talking practically about like, when we get there, what are we going to do? That is where we are going and we are going to be there soon. Yeah. There are three things to remember about being a Starship Captain. Keep your shirt tucked in, go down with the ship and do it. In engineering, Paris pays BLT a visit to just check up on her as a partner, but she is a ball of stress working on reconfiguring the power systems to deal with all of this ablative armor that they're installing on the ship

really does not have any time for him. This is a very dynamic scene, isn't it? This is an Alan Croker episode and we're walking around engineering in a way that we rarely have before, like going around the warp core with them, pretty great. It's a big dynamic walk and talk and there's a lot of big feelings happening

for BLT specifically because she has had a kind of idea in her mind about what raising this kid was going to look like. And it didn't involve being back in sector 001. So that's like a big hurdle for her to get over. And she's like, if we get back home before this baby comes, I'm going to give birth in jail. I don't want to do that. And Paris is like, I've been to jail.

It's not so bad. It's always sunny in Star Trek jail. The gang raises a one quarter Klingon baby. Yeah. So Voyager rolls up on the nebula and it's covered in this armor plating. They are noticed though, immediately the cubes inside fire on them and they fire on them in a bunch of different ways, like tractor beams and torpedoes and phasers and stuff.

And this is like playing a video game on easy mode when you've got all the weapons way early, like you're playing level one, but you have last level style weapons because they start shooting torpedoes at these cubes and they just get wrecked. This is easy. Yeah.

They punched porn tips, gazardo into the ship's computer and the cubes are no match for them. There are no match for the transphasic torpedoes that they're able to launch. I mean, it did like they were chipping away at the armor. Like we get down to like, you know, 40% or something. But then the torpedoes scare the cubes away, and they head deeper into the nebula. In the center of the nebula, there's this big ball of lightning,

and then there's a thing right down on the surface of that ball of lightning that looks like, sort of looks like the Borg city that we saw in space, but it's got all these like hexagonal apertures in it, and those are the transwarp conduits. Because this is a transwarp hub. I love the contrast between something that I think is objectively really pretty looking, this glowing blue orb in the middle of this nebula.

And then like what is very clearly like something that looks like an infection on it. Like a growth or something. Yeah. Yeah. This is where they've been heading and this is kind of a surprise to Captain Janeway. Right. Golden Janeway kept this bit of information from her that there is a transwarp hub here and Captain

Janeway is so fucking pissed, she just turns the ship right around. It's a really interesting moment. She wants to leave the Nebula because this is definitively a shortcut home. You know what this captain does with shortcuts. She blows them up. Am I the only one experiencing deja vu here? She ties her hair back into a bun from season one, like, let's get to work.

So they are back out of the Nebula again. Yeah. They have a meeting in the ass lab. Issue one. About what this hub represents, what it means. Uh, it's one of only a few of these and, uh, it is the way that the Borgs project power all over space and they, you know, don't have one in the A quad, so it's just, there's, there's only out holes in the A quad, but these are

the in holes and they're everywhere. Chico tastes like, but I mean, sometimes an out hole can be an in hole. Ever think of that? Just takes a little prep, you know, right? And Harry, Harry Kim like clasps his hands in front of his face and like nods sagely like, yes, I agree. Both Janeways are simultaneously. what are you talking about? Rolling their eyes.

This is such a strategic advantage to the Borgs. This is how they can reach all four quadrants and Janeway Prime wants to destroy it. And Golden Janeway is in the room hearing this, and she's like, what the fuck? Stop stalling. The longer you sit here talking about whether or not you want to destroy this thing, you got a Borg's queen over there,

played by Alice Kreish, by the way. She's over there thinking and adapting to all of this shit I gave you off of the super brat. Now get your asses in there and get home. I used to be such a stubborn, self-righteous asshole. They continue this argument in the corridor, right? Yeah. And it's like, it's very much like you can do the pilot again and make the same mistake twice, or you can not. And it's very interesting to me that Golden Janeway thinks of the decision from the pilot as having been a mistake.

Because I don't think Captain Janeway is there on that. No, it takes some hardcore time travel manipulation here. Because Golden Janeway is like, I'm going to tell you some shit about the future you wouldn't believe. I'm going to paint you a picture. You want to see? Imagine Seven, dying in Chakotay's arms. Still willing to wait to go home? Because that's what you're choosing! And it's not just Seven either. 22 more crew people. None of them with names at this point, but I promise you they're Yeah. And Tuvok's mind? Fucked.

Absolutely shattered. And if you get to the A quad in time, there might be a chance to save him. So here's the thing. That's the pitch. Go home today. Save these lives. They're standing kind of like face to face in the quarter. You know, that, that like- The Riker pose?

That face to face where it looks like a vase in the middle of them. They're doing vase face. They're doing vase face. A golden Janeway brings up this idea that Chakotay and Seven are going to die and that they'll be married. And the camera pans down to Captain Janeway's hand. She snaps a pencil. Did you take from this scene that Chakotay died too?

He was in a fucking grave plot at the beginning of the episode. Oh, oh, I thought in the version of the future that Golden Janeway describes where Seven dies and Chakotay's arms. Yeah. I thought you were thinking that Chakotay then died soon after, like- No, he was just never the same after that. Yeah, yeah. Anyways.

He stands at Seven's graveside, like as the coffin goes down, and instead of shoveling a shovel full of dirt over the top, the camera pans down and it's just a pile of pencils. Haves of pencils. And those pencils make a sound when they hit the roof of the coffin, unmistakable. Oh yeah.

That's how they do it in their culture. So we cut over to Tuvok's quarters. And this is where Janeway Prime goes directly from here, because she wants to know more about this diagnosis that he's been keeping from her. And he's like, you don't have to worry about me. I'm managing this with medicine. The only cure is a mind meld that I would have to do with a family member and got none of those on Voyager.

So what are you going to do? Yeah. This is persuasive, right? Like I think Captain Janeway wants Tuvok to keep his marbles. Sure. Yeah. She's also impressed by his restraint because like at every point, the idea of getting home early is brought up. Like Tuvok does not ride for that openly.

Right. And that's because it would mean putting his needs above the needs of the many. You can't do that. I'd rather lock myself in the warp core and go home early. Tevin has a similar sentiment, right? Like if my death will help everyone else get home or whatever. And that's a conversation she's having with Golden Janeway, who is like, no, no, no, no, wrong way of thinking about this. Like, you're trying to atone for bad shit you did

when you were a drone, but you need to think about like the people that love you now and the way your death is going to impact them. There's a phrase used in this scene that really got my attention, There's a phrase used in this scene that really got my attention, and it was real people. Because the way Golden Janeway describes the people affected by Seven's death goes something like you've got your friends and your family, real people who would grieve your death, and you're talking about them versus a bunch of strangers. And I was thinking about how often that way of thinking has used to justify so many awful things. Like whether or not you think of strangers as real people or not.

Right, like those are just NPCs and I am sad about you actual dying. Yeah. And you need to take that more seriously. And Golden Janeway is like, think of your friends and family overall. This should be your priority here when you make this decision. So a decision must be made,

and that means a McLaughlin group. Issue two. Tuvok is presenting a battle plan for destroying the Borg's hub, which would really compromise their ability to get their ships all over the place. And we get a big Captain Janeway speech. It's about, you know, like what I'm asking you to do

dooms us to 16 more years. And we know that now because of Golden Janeway. The good news is, Neelix is already gone. So we got that going for us. Secondary to that, Chell has some really fun ideas for the menu going forward. We haven't revealed that to you guys yet, but I think you'll be delighted by some of the puns. What I'm saying is improvements have already begun and they're going to continue to happen throughout the next 16 years. Harry Kim also gets a stirring Star Trek speech.

I'm so glad Garrett Wong got to do this. A guy who hasn't had much to do in season seven. It's a great moment. Like the way he kind of walks through the crew feels a lot like that scene in Star Trek V where Kirk walks among his crew at the lounge. So you're saying it compares favorably with Star Trek V. I am saying that. And I love how Golden Janeway is in this McLaughlin group, like witnessing this.

The troops are getting rallied and they're on not her side. And she is disgusted. She is so fucking pissed. Yeah. She's pissed enough to take up coffee again, which she does that night when she meets up with Janeway Prime in the mess hall. I know you don't wanna do it.

Do it. Coffee black. Make it yourself. I'm trying to help you see this as an opportunity to grow. Make it yourself. This is such an interesting scene because it is Janeway talking to Janeway and it's Golden Janeway apologizing for coming in

with this plan that involved lying to everybody and like manipulating everyone. And is thinking about the lies and the manipulation as she's saying what she's saying. And it's like, God, like, do we believe that she is in fact given up lying and manipulating or is she continuing to lie and manipulate now just as much as she has the entire episode?

But it's kind of enticing because she's saying there might be a way to do what you want to do and what I want to do. We can potentially destroy the hub and get you guys home 16 years early. There's coffee in that. Way to have our cake and eat it too. So we cut to the inside of the Admiral's Brat-style shuttle when this plan goes into motion. Janeway Prime sticks Golden Janeway with a hypo spray and they say their goodbyes.

They say more goodbyes than Harry Kim did with Golden Janeway earlier in the episode. And she takes off through the nebula into a transwarp conduit. She's gone. She's gone. In the ass lab, Chikote shows up and he's like looking forward to a little interaction in the ass

side because they have a kind of fun dynamic going in here. But, oh, wouldn't you know it? Seven's got a headache today. She has decided to be done with the relationship and she is now making Chikote aware of that change in their arrangement. Yeah, it was like that time I got a call from the HR department to say that my position had been eliminated. Yeah.

And I was like, what does that mean? What the hell is going on? They're like, yeah, so you don't need to come in anymore. It's like, couldn't you just say that? You fucking assholes. Fucking cowards. Yeah. You got it better than I did.

At least you got a phone call. My badge just got turned off. Wow. And I had to call them. I was at a funeral when I got this call. Wow. You were already in a mood. Yeah.

She tells him what she knows in a very interesting way, in a way that obscures the truth to a pretty large extent. She says, your feelings for me will be painful for you in the future. And then Chukote says something I wish he didn't, which was, he's not going to let her end this. I don't know, man. I think even if she's wrong, I don't think that's up to you. Yeah.

I think you got to stop listening to the alpha male dating coaches that you've been following on social media. What he had to do that he didn't was get a little more information. Like, because she is extremely vague in a way that almost invites more questions and he just doesn't do it.

He just gets, look at him getting all emotional. For him the risk is the juice. He threw all his pencils away after their fourth date, now he's got to use replicator credits to make up a fresh case. Those are hard to come by. Yeah. You know what is coming a lot easier, Ben? BLT's baby coming right now. She's finally an actual laborer and she is like television labor lady, you know, grabbing people by the scruff of their collar and screaming.

When did water births become a popular thing? And follow-up question. What would a Klingon, quote unquote, water birth look like? Oh yeah, blood wine birth. How incredible would that be? You can't see to the bottom of that pool. They got like a kiddie pool that they bought at Target, sloshing around with blood wine. It's the most gothic kiddie pool they sell.

They sell this kiddie pool at Spencer's in the back. Yeah. I mean, we tried to get the gothic one. We ended up with a Paw Patrol one because it was just what they had at the time. It's off season, you know? The image of BLT giving birth in a pod patrol inflatable pool filled with blood wine. I mean, I haven't fucked around with AI at all, but like that I want to see. I want to see that. I love a bath. It's my favorite way of relaxing. Sport Queen gets a visit from Golden Janeway,

and she's like, well, how foolish of you to walk right here into my Queen chamber, thwip, thwip. Oh! She's not actually there. It's got to be so frustrating to thwap out those assimilation nodules and just whiff. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. She's getting a bad case of blue nodules. Yeah, it's a myth doesn't exist

Golden Janeway is there to offer a deal the defense tech that voyager is outfitted with right now Including all those weapons and shit like a way for that not to harm the Borgs. Like giving them all their defense secrets in exchange for a Borgs cube, tractoring Voyager and dragging the ship back to the A quad. Yeah. This is a visual I really wanted. I really wanted this to be the outcome of the episode.

Yeah. Captain Janeway, like furiously being dragged, kicking and screaming back home. Pounding on the window of the observation lounge. Ha ha ha ha ha. Fuck you, Golden Janeway. Ha ha ha. Damn it! Ah, I wanted to do this on my terms.

I can't even blow up my ship. Ha ha ha ha ha. I can't even blow up my ship. So it really does seem like Golden Janeway has sold them out. She does not like the tack that Captain Janeway has taken. And it's revealed that she's like doing this all like virtually from her little neuro interface also, which does look a lot like the one from the ship that Tom Perez wanted to fuck. Yeah. like virtually from her little neuro interface also, which does look a lot like the one from the ship that Tom Perez wanted to fuck. Yeah, yeah.

Pays off that scene of the little microchip in her brains from earlier. Yeah. This safety doesn't last long, right? Because the longer this conversation goes, this is like the cops phone tapping a criminal and like someone off screen is like, keep them talking, keep them talking.

Allegedly a criminal, Adam. Right. They find the Bratz style shuttle cloaked right outside the Unicomplex and they get this thing in the tractor and they beam Golden Janeway Actual to the hive chamber and thwap, those nodules go in. And that's gotta feel so good after being teased earlier. Oh man, nothing better. Earlier it was just the tip of the nodules. This is actually how Borg Tantra probably was invented,

right? Yeah, yeah. And that's the thing about Alice Crease's performance as the queen, like there is something deeply sexualized about her. You can tell that she's all about stretching the taffy pleasure-wise. Yeah, yeah, she's living for this. So she is like all super excited

about having the upper hand as Voyager goes through one of these holes and she starts to glitch out. She's like villain monologuing to the now rapidly borgifying golden chainway and the BQ starts like having spasms and there's like wharf lightning and sparks going off in the machinery around her. And she sees something like coming up her arm. That seems like a, like a computer fires or something, and she rips it off to keep it away from her.

She is like the black knight in Monty Python before she dies. Like she's taking limbs off of herself and talking shit. I'm invincible. She's great. You're a loony. She sends a sphere after Voyager in this warp tunnel while they're trying to blow up the structures inside it

that keep it open. They're firing their new special torpedoes at them. We cut over to sector 001 and holy shit, something has opened up there. And the suggestion is that any second now, Borg's ships are going to come pouring out of the space butthole. I guess we'll just get the dozen nearest chips we've got and see what happens. It's gonna be like another Wolf 359, I guess.

Yeah. You said Wolf 359 was an inside job? It totally was. I don't like their chances. Yeah, it's really intense. And yet back in the hub, like, explosions are going off, they're like coming out of the different holes. And I was like, I don't know how time travel works,

but like, this seems paradoxical, right? That the hub would be exploding the way it is, but that wouldn't convince the Borg Queen that what she did to stop Captain Janeway didn't work. She mentioned something as she's going to the ground about like, I think she thinks the Sphere is going to win. Right. And that will affect time in a way

that works out in her favor, but you're right. It just gives me a headache to think about. Yeah. I don't know if she's right about that. And she ends up being very, very wrong about how capable this sphere will be against Voyager and its jacked up weapons. I love this fleet that was assembled to receive the Voyager when it pops through. Yeah. It's just missing a hood. Yeah. Wait, didn't it have a hood?

The hood will be nowhere near a space butthole out there. Me, I just haul my butt back and forth between star bases. There was a total hood style ship in that group. Yeah, but our hood, the DeSoto hood, far away from danger. Yeah, so they destroyed the Transwarp network. They destroyed the Sphere. RSVP Borg Queen. Voyager makes it home.

It's a moment where like everybody on the bridge is just kind of like stunned. I thought they played this really well. Cause there's like, there's really not much episode left. Like there is not a bunch of denouement on this. It is a, we did it. I can't believe we did it, but we did it. And we also stopped the ability of the Borgs to project power into this quadrant It is a, we did it. I can't believe we did it, but we did it. And we also stopped the ability of the Borgs to project power into this quadrant.

And so doing it is like an unalloyed victory. And it's like such an unalloyed victory that I feel like the Voyager crew is almost speechless about it. The Voyager is way more alloyed than the victory, wouldn't you say? Yeah, indeed. BLT gives birth to her baby and the baby is put in her arms and she is so pissed off that it has Klingon head ridges.

Ah! But also very happy to not be in prison. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. You know if the Klingons are doing a water birth and blood wine, they're fucking drinking that blood wine, aren't they? Oh yeah, there's like a little like ladle and they're just taking swigs of it during. I mean that's like, you know, plenty of people consume the placenta after they give birth, you know? It's like, not that different, right? There's grit at the bottom of that Paw Patrol kiddie pool.

It's an unfiltered blood wine, you know? We need to stop. Did you like the finale of Star Trek Voyager, Adam? You know, I'm really easy to get along with most of the time, but I don't like bullets, I don't like friends, and I don't like you. You're boring, Mr. You mentioned something that kind of changed my mind

about it when you were describing those moments when Voyager finally, they have their mission accomplished moment. There's like an exhalation there. There's like real emotion from a lot of the people on the bridge, especially Garrett Wong, like he gets all misty back there. I thought that moment was done really well,

but this feels like a story that's incomplete for a series finale because what I wanted was an episode of family after best of both worlds. I wanted to feel the consequences of this because the consequences are so teased in that scene you were talking about. There's some real stuff to grapple with at the end of this mission and having made it home and the conflicts don't end as soon as you're in orbit of Earth. I want the episode after this. I think we deserved the episode after

this. And I think the episode after this would have made a great series finale, but that wasn't the thinking at the time. Like you got to go out with a bang, you got to go out with the borgs and you sacrifice the real conclusion to the story in favor of something with more action. So I don't want to judge this finale based on something we didn't get, cause that's not fair. Right. Judging it on its own merits, like I think it's really good.

And I think it's really exciting. And it made me feel good that they accomplished their mission, but like, Yeah, I wanted one more thing. It is a great two-parter in a vacuum, but for it to be the period on the end of the sentence feels so abrupt, especially based on like the era of TV we live in now, where this didn't feel like it was set up very much at all.

Were you ever pausing the second part of this episode and just totally stunned that there are 10 minutes left in this episode and it felt so far from a resolution? Yeah, you know, it's like just like pausing the track in the middle of the song. It's like, it didn't feel like it got to fade out. And yeah, I watched it yesterday as of this record and I was like lying awake last night thinking about it.

Like, yeah, like there's so much I like about this episode but it also just really feels like it's ripping the band-aid off, like, okay, we got to end it. Here we go. Doesn't it feel like you're not done if you're still in space? The last shot of this series is Voyager heading for earth. Show it landing on earth. Like that feels like the end.

Like touch the ground. Touch the ground in front of Starfleet HQ. Yeah. Yeah. Land that fucker right on the doorstep. Yeah. I brought your starship back, assholes. She like clicks the key fob behind her like, bloop, bloop.

And then tosses the keys to Admiral Paris. Toss? Yeah. Come on. I don't want to be a big shot. And he like fumbles the catch and it falls on the floor. Yeah. Oh boy. Do you want to see if there's anything in the Priority One inbox, Adam?

Nothing ever doesn't realize its potential over there, Ben, right? Wow. Priority One message from Starfleet coming in on Secure Channel. Need a supplemental income. Supplemental income? Supplemental. Suppure Channel. You need a supplemental income. Supplemental income? Supplemental. Supplemental.

Yeah, it's extra. By the interest alone, could be enough to buy this ship. Ben, our first priority one message is of a personal nature. It's from future Janeway, but not as far in the future as that lying version of us. And it's to present Janeway Your message goes like this

past me Do not trust future us She may have some badass tech to upgrade your ship, but it is a la borg's plot You'll see what I'm talking about next season. I hope you get this in time. I must thank Ensign Jake of the USS DeFested for alerting me that future me is plotting these things. Best of luck. Oh man, to be a cadet or an Ensign on the USS DeFested, that sounds like a lot of fun. Yeah, what a great captain. Indeed.

I love anyone that calls their shot, putting their P1 on a specific episode like that. Yeah, respect. Our next P1 is from Dano, and it's to Sammy Kess? C-E-S-S? I don't know how to pronounce that. Goes like this. May the fourth be your birthday!

Happy, specifically non-Star Wars belated to the chair of the Blue Jays Pants Committee and a generally amazing human, no matter what the voices in your head say. Thanks for seeing this hilarious show at the Great Hall with me, even though you had to leave early for work. Cheers to Ben and Adam. This was the worst episode ever. Road drop. ["Ride of the Valkyries"] Wow.

I did not read much at all about the response to the finale. Is that the prevailing opinion out there? I was interpreting Dano as insulting the episode we just recorded. Oh. That makes a lot more sense. Yeah, this was terrible. Hey listen, priority one messages don't go away

just because a series has ended. We've got Enterprise coming up soon and you can get your Priority One messages over at MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron. Hey Adam. What's up man? Did you find yourself a drunk Shimoda? I feel compelled to make mine Harry Kim. He for an ensign shares a lot of opinions at a very crucial time when decisions are

getting made about whether or not to go through with parts of this mission. And I think it is an example of just how tight this crew is. Like when Golden Janeway laments how she can't convince Janeway Prime to go along with her idea. Like part of the reason is that this crew is too tight. They care too much about each other. Like they'll spend decades together. They like each other so much.

And I think this Kim scene in the conference room is an example of this. Like he felt emboldened to tell everyone that he was willing to make the journey longer if it meant being together in a scene that was really poignant and good. So it's strange that I think he was kind of the emotional center of the finale in so many scenes

and in so many ways in a surprising way. I'm glad they gave him that job. He sure as hell didn't have that much to do the rest of the season. Yeah. But I'm gonna make mine Harry Kim as the last drunk Shimoda of the series. What about you?

I think I'm gonna give mine to Tom Paris for the turtleneck bald author guy that they made him into in the future. I just love this essay as a final form for Tom Paris as a character. I just think you have to have such a good sense of humor about your character to be playing with it as much alone as he did. It's like going from being the hot dog fighter jock

to they like kind of doughy guy with the elbow patches and the bad haircut, but just writes novels and submits them to his publisher and cashes checks. B-Dunks has got all the gears as an actor. And I think we've talked about this a number of times in this season, especially, like he plays the game based on the scene that he's in. He does not betray the silliness of a lot of these moments

in a way that's really useful, in a way that you need in moments like these. It ruled. Do it, do it, do it, do it. Boy, what a fun series we just watched, huh? How do you feel? How do you feel? I think we're gonna find out a lot more

in our series recap next week, where we're gonna talk all about the series, the entirety of it. Maybe we'll come up with some favorite moments and maybe a series wide drunk Shimoda. Yeah, and fave episodes and maybe some pitches for what the game is gonna look like next season. We've done this kind of episode a couple of times.

We did it after TNG and DS9, so I'm looking forward to this one. Yeah, looking forward to it as well, my friend. We got some people to thank, especially all of the friends of DeSoto who have supported what we do all these years. If you're not one of those people yet, hopefully three full seasons of Star Trek, 521 episodes will be persuasive to you to become a monthly supporter. It's maximumfun.org slash join. Get in on that bonus content. We really appreciate it.

We've got such a great crew. A crew I hope wants to continue the journey with us going forward. Uxbridge Shimoda crew includes a great producer, Wendy. Our consigniary, Bill Tilly. And Rob Adler, our super consigniary on the socials. We got to thank Adam Ragusea, who made the original Janeway song, we'll hear one last time next week, and Dark Materia for the original Picard song. Join a community of friends of DeSoto, drunkshamota.com,

greatestgen.fandom.com, greatestgen.reddit.com, the Greatest Gen Facebook group, all great places to chill with like-minded friends of DeSoto and hey Adam I just wanted to say thank you for taking this journey with me this was seven really fun seasons yeah it really was I feel good about what we've done here good and embarrassed yeah with that we will be back at you next week with a series recap for Star Trek Voyager And I'm really looking forward to it Me too There's a joke I can't say on the show.

I'll go ahead and say it. Hey, we're already dead-daving here. It's the finale. Let's burn it all down. Maximum fun. A workaround network. Of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.