The Greatest Generation - Thermonuclear Dick Pic (VOY S5E24)

Episode Date: May 8, 2023

When Doc Holoday gets possessed by a weapon of mass destruction, Captain Janeway is ready to blow up the damn ship rather than let the missile reach its target. But when a partial EAM isn’t enough t...o stand down condition 1SQ, Lawyer Kim makes a convincing case for the bomb to change its mission. Where does Jenkins store her soup? How are the Star Trek caves like a warm bath? What precipitated the change in available cakes at the Congressional commissary? It’s the episode with weird cylindrical problems!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.Friends of DeSoto for Democracy.Friends of DeSoto for Justice. Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Caretaker!Music by Adam Ragusea & Dark MateriaFollow The Greatest Generation on Twitter, and discuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen!The Greatest Generation is on Twitch.Facebook group | Subreddit | Discord | WikiSign up for our mailing list!Get a thing at podshop.biz!

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Hey friends of Disodo. Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry. If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join us in standing in solidarity with the folks who actually bring these adventures to life. Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production Studios, have reduced the profit from movies and TV going to workers. And in so doing,
Starting point is 00:00:35 they've attempted to weaken the labor unions that represent those workers. They wouldn't even engage the unions on many issues in their negotiations. And so a strike was the only course of action to take. Adam, Wendy and I have been having a lot of internal discussions about how best to stand with the unions and we are continuing those conversations in a dynamic situation. We're doing our best to understand where the picket lines are in these digital spaces,
Starting point is 00:01:01 and we would never intentionally cross one. With the information we have, we feel like we can do more good talking about and supporting the strike and continuing our show as planned. We'll keep you informed about what all this means for greatest trek specifically. Today we're making a contribution to the Entertainment Community Fund. This fund exists to help all the people whose livelihoods have been put on hold because the AMPTP refuses to negotiate
Starting point is 00:01:25 in good faith with the unions. It provides financial support for writers, actors, and all the thousands of laborers who make the shows that we talk about here and without whom we wouldn't have Star Trek to cast pot about. Those folks are all out of work because billionaires, company shareholders, and the executives of these companies don't want to compromise on the length of their yachts. We hope you'll join us in supporting entertainment workers in a challenging time, especially after they've already endured several years of challenges brought on by the pandemic
Starting point is 00:01:55 and season two of Star Trek Picard. We've set up a page where you can also contribute. It's at friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdececoto for Labor.com. That's FriendsOfDecoto for Labor.com. Link in the episode description. Okay, now let's get on with the show. Here's to the finest crew in Starfleet. Engage! Watch your back shot. Hello. I'm Captain Captain Bringengwe. The U.S. is 4th and Dirk. Captain Captain, Captain Bringengwa the U.S. is 4th and Dirk. Captain Captain, Captain.
Starting point is 00:02:28 Welcome to the greatest generation. It's a Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys who are a little bit embarrassed about having a Star Trek podcast. I'm Ben Harrison. I'm Adam Pranika. Hey, dude, Adam. I am a little emotionally spent. I don't want to, I mean, to place this episode in a moment of time, we just watched a pretty heavy episode of Star Trek Picard and kind of went through a lot of things.
Starting point is 00:02:55 And like, great fully, I went through all of those things with you. And it's something that I told you during the episode, but I really, really feel fortunate to have, like so many shows are of the format. We're like, Adam's seen every minute of Star Trek that exists and bid us and seen it, single second. And that's the show, like a new host, old host. Yeah, fuck anybody that ever does anything like that. That's not what I mean at all. I just mean that I am glad that I'm on a show
Starting point is 00:03:29 where we're processing the same things in our own personal ways, but I think we're both kind of going through the same things as we do it in a way that I'm glad I don't have to explain why something is significant to you. Right. Right. When we do the show because I think you get it. Yeah. I mean, I think that a little bit Voyager has been a departure for us because I had seen it and you, you know, I think I'd seen a little bit of it here and there but hadn't largely. Right. But watching new Star Trek is, I think,
Starting point is 00:04:03 probably a very different experience for a long time Star Trek fan that is for somebody that is getting into Star Trek for the first time. Absolutely. And like, I get the question sometimes, like, hey, I'm interested in starting Star Trek. I know you like it and have like more or less made a professional livelihood out of how much you like it. Where should I start? And I never really feel super comfortable answering that question because it's so subjective
Starting point is 00:04:33 and dependent on so many other things. I guess I've been just kind of saying strange new worlds to a lot of people because it kind of is a modern take on what is classically associated with Star Trek, but I don't know. Yeah, like, I feel like I'm rambling also because I am also torn up after the episode of Star Trek Picard we just recorded about. And I didn't even watch Matlock before that. Like you must be really messed up. Yeah. We've been kind of watching a lot of different things lately.
Starting point is 00:05:10 And it's really scrambled our minds. I think that's one of the reasons why I've really seen Voyager as a comfort lately is that it's sort of become what Star Trek the next generation was for me when I was younger, like a nice, warm bath of science fiction that feels calm and comforting. Most of the time.
Starting point is 00:05:34 Yeah, the heavy episodes are pretty few and pretty far between. And mostly it's just like a pleasure to watch Star Trek Voyager. It can provide a great deal of pleasure. Yeah, I think this might be one of those episodes of Voyager that intends to disrupt bath time a little bit with yet another doctor takeover. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:57 Robert Bracardo is playing a lot of parts this season. I think he really is. Yeah, well, when do we get into it? It's a season five episode 24 Warhead. Reaver course. Unless you've got something a little bigger in your torpedo toots, I'm not turning around. Cold opens in the mess hall where tensions are hot between Paris and Nielix, they're arguing about his tab, a tab which has ballooned in recent weeks. I get this. Paris wants to be a good host. He wants to throw parties. I
Starting point is 00:06:34 think he's in that unfortunate position of like being the person to pay for all the party shit. And he's sort of expected the commensurate kickback, you know, like, hey, leave a couple of strips of Latinum in the bucket on your way out the the mess hall guys if you liked monster movie night and I don't blame him as much as I blame the other crew people. Yeah, stick moves by them. Yeah, they've really made him into the Barney Gumball of the ship. In other words, your credit's no good here. Oh yeah, give a step outside. We talked a little bit on a recent episode about whether Nielix has his own bartenders tab so that he can cover stuff for people.
Starting point is 00:07:18 And it turns out he does. It seems like he's got that key to the slot machine that kind of opens up the lid and like turns it into service mode or whatever. Right. He can do that. Or just the key that opens up the soda machine, you know. Oh yeah, that's a better comparison for sure.
Starting point is 00:07:36 He can have as much soda as he wants. Like the janitor at your elementary school swinging that thing up and be like, Hey man, come over here and pick something out. Did you ever hear or read about that soda machine in Seattle and Capitol Hill? No. There's a mystery soda machine out there,
Starting point is 00:07:53 and it's like a classic, right? It's like a wood grain model on the sides with the big ass buttons. Oh yeah. And it showed up on a side street out there and it is continually refilled. And no one knows who's filling it. No one knows who's emptying it. But it's totally there for use. Wow. It's like one of the great Seattle mysteries. And I haven't, look, the mystery may have been solved by now. But I like keeping that mystery alive in my mind. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:08:25 As being unsolved, I like the idea of this thing just living out there, providing. That soda machine is your JJ Abrams mystery box. You're never going to open it. No, you would shut. That soda machine is the dismembered foot statue in Lost. So because this is first anniversary of dating BLT, he likes does real lint and hooks pairs up with some replicator. I like that you can replicate something right to someone's quarters, like the, uh, the uber eats of the ship.
Starting point is 00:09:02 That's a fun detail. And, uh, some of this he gets for himself so that he can carry it into the room because, you know, he's a romantic. I'm continually sad by the Klingon Cultural Arasier campaign that Paris seems to be on. Like, I think we understand over the years
Starting point is 00:09:22 that BLT is not a hardcore Klingon culture person. Like, she doesn't totally go for gach or whatever. But like, there's got to be something. She digs of her own culture that she might enjoy to eat on a special occasion, right? Right. It's like, it's like bogeyling you vote that he replicates is not blood wine. Yeah, now. That's asshole shit, man.
Starting point is 00:09:52 But I, I decanted it in like a double hole decanter, right? That's clicking on shit. That's pretty good. Is that an account? That counts for nothing. Pretty good, right? No good? We don't see any of this anniversary.
Starting point is 00:10:14 It's not commented upon again, is it? It is not. It is not. Instead, the episode baton gets passed over to Captain Harry Kim, who has got the big chair for the night shift. And he's been doing this a lot lately. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:32 Fourth night in a row. He seems fine. Working swing is often as he does and also working in the daytime. Mm-hmm. Yeah, well, Harry Kim is working swing all the time. It's just that he's also working the night shift now. with Harry Kim and your mom, very proud. Who are you?
Starting point is 00:11:02 Harry Kim. I lasted 22 minutes. And your mom, very proud. Harry Kim. Who are you? Harry Kim. Yeah. Paris smashes those drained balls
Starting point is 00:11:12 about what a tryhardy is in this scene. You chance to play Captain? Yeah. I'm not playing. All the people you crawled over to get to your exalted position line that's pretty devastating. Yeah. That's pretty devastating. Yeah, he's taken up.
Starting point is 00:11:27 He's, I mean, he may be taking an entire caraph of coffee to the captain's chair. I mean, this is something that Cisco popularized with a soup thermos. Sure. The chair is a great fixture for holding all of your drink vessels. The defiant had built-in captains thermoses,
Starting point is 00:11:46 in a way that I think like Voyager is supposed to be as tactical a ship in many ways. It's a ship of science, but it's like compact. It's like built for the job. It's not one of these big plush luxury liners like the D, but it should have capt captain soup, right? We know that there's a compartment next to the captain's chair full of phasers. We've seen Janeway go in there. There might be soup also.
Starting point is 00:12:13 How mad would she be at like a point of great need? She's got to get those at those phasers. The ship's been taken over. The boarding party's on their way. She goes in, she flips open the lid, and there's like three yetis full of hot soup in there and coffee. Damn it! Fuck! I need a phaser right fucking now, and I'm looking down at beef and broccoli in a stone, and I'm fucking me so broth!
Starting point is 00:12:44 Are you kidding me? How am I gonna repel the invaders? Broccoli, an astrone, and a fucking Miso broth. Are you kidding me? How am I gonna repel the invaders? When fucking broth? I'm gonna splash it in their face. Yeah, she takes two thermoses and kind of flails her arms around. The Janeway maneuver, they would come to call it.
Starting point is 00:13:03 Later on we see this bridge shift and Kim's tri-hardness is really grating on this Helms person who just wants a chill ass shift. Yeah. Ensign Jenkins is at the con and she takes great umbridge with Harry's ensign on Ensign condescension. Yeah, that is at the core of this, isn't it? It's maybe less that Kim wants an update every 10 minutes.
Starting point is 00:13:29 It's that he's also an Ensen. So just where exactly does he get off? Episode made me wonder if there's like sort of a secondary rank element to being a senior officer. Like he's an Ensen, but he's also a senior bridge officer in a way that she isn't. And I guess that just means like he's the head of the ops department.
Starting point is 00:13:53 Like, right. But they should give him another pip for that, you know? I mean, if we're expecting another pip for Kim, I think we're gonna be waiting a long time. It's my understanding. Yeah, I'm just saying, like, it's... They don't give PIPs for PIP, Ben. So, yeah, she kind of hits back at him, like, hey, can you like not look over my shoulder
Starting point is 00:14:20 every time I push a button? We're on the night shift. Relax. Like, I'll tell you if something comes up that you need to know about, you don't need over my shoulder every time I push a button. On the night shift, relax. Like, I'll tell you if something comes up that you need to know about, you don't need to check with me what our course and heading are.
Starting point is 00:14:31 How about you just listen for the beep? We all know the beep, right? The beep that happens when something unusual takes place. Let's just all listen for that. Report. Hey, and there it is. And it's a distress signal coming from a class M planet that's pretty close, but they do have to alter course and they decide to not run it by anybody more senior until they've
Starting point is 00:14:55 checked it out. But when they arrive, it seems like it's too late. They scan for life forms. Where are you? Nobody's alive down there to pick up the phone. There's a scene in Star Trek Picard where the captain of the Titan goes to bed and is woken up by a position in space he didn't expect because his room is glowing. Uh-huh. That scene really delighted me
Starting point is 00:15:21 because the idea of being a captain of a ship going to bed and then waking up somewhere unusual Has got to be pretty terrifying, right? Yeah, yeah the nightmare scenario basically right. Oh my god I've left Kim in charge I lasted 22 minutes Hopefully we're not on one of his booty calls. If they weren't going to court marshal me for marooning my crew in the Delta quadrant for years and then choosing not to use the caretaker to get them back, they will court marshal me for this. So they hailed a planet,
Starting point is 00:15:58 no call back, there's no life signs, Kim and Jenkins talk it out. He's like, well, gotta go check this out for myself. Obviously. Okay, we do it the hard way. Deck by deck room by room. And he gives Jenkins the con. Maybe the first time she's ever gotten it. It's within his power. Yeah, you know, she gets to experience
Starting point is 00:16:19 how heavy lines the crown. Yeah, there's no place for her to put her soup. No, no, that's all taken. Yeah. Soup's taken. In a corridor, it appears Chicoate has been awoken. Yeah. And he's putting on his action jacket,
Starting point is 00:16:36 but he's like, hey, why don't you do this away, mission? And I'll monitor it from the bridge. We don't want Jenkins in charge for too long. He puts one arm in the jacket, stops, and he's like, oh, I think I'll monitor it from the bridge. We don't want Jenkins in charge for too long. He puts one arm in the jacket, stops, and he's like, oh, I think I'll stay comfortable. I'm going to lock the door. I'm going to take this one to me, and be careful, because I'm going to see this once.
Starting point is 00:16:59 So Chicoate sends Kim and the doctor down. Yeah, and like one random crew person. And they beam down to a vintage like season one and a half TNG set. I was delighted by how close the psych was to the Star Trek caves. This feels like that aforementioned bath that we've just lowered ourselves into.
Starting point is 00:17:22 This is great. I love a bath. It's my favorite way of relaxing. The sky might as well just be like the sky from anybody Canyon with a red light instead of a purple light. Hey, what do you say we start selling Echo Papa 607s? You know, it's called Time Sick.
Starting point is 00:17:39 Yeah. They find what the distress signal was coming from and it's wedged into a rock. It's got bio-neural circuitry at them, just like the Voyager. We know what those root words are and what they mean. Bio meaning bio and neural meaning brain. Right. The doctor can translate what this thing is beeping and everyone is surprised to find out that this is scared. Yeah. It's just like that scene at the end of Starship Troopers. He puts his hand on it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:15 And it turns to the group and he says, it's afraid. They'll cheer. The horror of why it's afraid goes nearly uninterrogated because the missiles beeping and I'm gonna translate what the beeps are. Okay. Where are my arms and legs? I'm in so much pain. Somebody just killed me. The pain is too great. It's really like the Ripley on the gurney at the end of Alien 4.
Starting point is 00:18:55 It's an artificial intelligence that doesn't seem to realize it's artificial. Were you about to say artificial Italian? It's an artificial Italian. It doesn't realize. It's a little alone. Hey, some of the times of the sauce out of the can, is a good way to get it did out of the table. The metal nut in season all for your round.
Starting point is 00:19:22 Oh, I mean, it's a good thing the doctor's there, right? Because he speaks, missile. Yeah, he tells them, you know, what's going on? And he like walks away with Harry so that he can kind of, in hushed tones, say, like, I don't want to tell it that it's like a hunk of metal wedged into a rock, because that might really upset it, but we got to get this thing back up to the ship. I mean, Harry does not speak missile, at least this kind of missile.
Starting point is 00:19:48 He speaks a different kind of missile language. But he does not want to help. He sees a missile in a rock, and the doctor sees, this is like a seeing eye poster. Like, they're seeing something totally different. Yeah, Harry's like, this may be me being tired because I've been on swing, but I don't want that thing coming up. Getting in my way. He should have listened to his first
Starting point is 00:20:11 instinct here. And I don't think enough is made of that in this episode. His instincts were right. First thought, good thought. Yeah. So the, you know, the day shift comes aboard the bridge and they kind of make light of what a dry hard hairy Kim is. Like the captain asked Jakote, like, how has it going? And he predicts that hairy Kim's next phone call will be coming through right when it is. I found Harry snacks. It looks like he's been eating a lot of trail mix, except all of the M&M's have been eaten out. Kind of defeats the purpose, Harry. And what's this? A bowl of cut pineapple.
Starting point is 00:20:53 What a strange thing to pair with trail mix. Kind of a lot of dried pineapple in the trail mix. Now that you mention it. And pineapple juice. What's going on with all the pineapple? I see there's a hot thermos of Thai pineapple soup. What an interesting flavor combination. What is all this for? I'm starting to detect a theme.
Starting point is 00:21:24 So the doctor and Harry like, you know, give their pitches for what to do. And it's kind of left to Harry like, you know, so we heard what the doctor has to say. What do you think? And he's like, okay, we should be like super safe about this. Like level 10 force fields in an engineering bay well away from anything sensitive. But let's beam it up and like see what it is. The next fucking shot is of it like three feet away from the war. They ignored her again. Yeah. Harry had the right idea both times. This can't feel good. If're hairy Kim. It's so close to the War of Core. Very upsetting. BLT describes to the engineering crew and to us that this missile
Starting point is 00:22:13 is suffering from kind of an amnesia. And the doctor says that there was a companion torpedo that seems to be missing that this missile is crying out for. Yeah, these missiles were using the buddy system. So the captain's going to go off and look into that and the doctor drops the force field and goes into break the news to this device, that it is in fact a device. No, there's no mistake. This really goes like every droid and Jedi conversation
Starting point is 00:22:49 we've ever seen on Star Wars with the beeping and the person talking to and understanding. Oh, this is the most Star Wars-y episode of Star Trek yet. It's very Star Wars-y. If Harry Kim were in the room, I think he'd be hurt by the way the doctors describing a situation. He's like, look, you're just a personality
Starting point is 00:23:08 built around a hardened projectile made for penetration and destruction. Ha, ha, ha. Sorry to break it to you. My hardware is state of the earth. We already have one of those. Yeah, I think he was in the room, but he's off camera for most of it,
Starting point is 00:23:24 but then the camera kind of pans past the warp core into a corner at the end, and Harry Kim is standing there and he breaks a pencil. Yeah. Over in the ass lab, they pull up some visuals of the surface of the planet where this missile's buddy landed. And the buddy did not embed itself in a rock and fail to go fizzile. It went off. And this is like the first time the Voyager crew have realized what this very obviously
Starting point is 00:23:59 a missile actually was. With enough centuries of time, do you just kind of forget that missiles used to have a common shape? And in the 24th or 25th century, like a missile could look like anything. They look like coffins to me. If it looks like a missile,
Starting point is 00:24:21 but it doesn't talk like a missile, maybe it's still a missile. Is the conclusion they've arrived at? Yeah. It's a weapon of mass destruction, and this presents a weird moral dilemma. Like we have a bomb that doesn't seem to know it's a bomb, but does seem to be sentient. So like by many ways of looking at this, it has rights, but also it's like
Starting point is 00:24:48 putting us in danger by its very presence. And what the fuck do we do about that? Yeah, like how good is a right if the right just makes everyone feel fearful and in danger all the time? Hmm, it really makes you wonder. It's a great question. I mean, I don't think that that necessarily applies in this case because this is a weapon.
Starting point is 00:25:10 Right. But, you know, in other cases, I could see that being a valid point, Adam. This needs to be adjudicated in the conference room. So there's a McLaughlin group with Janeway, the doctor, BLT, Kim Chicote, and Seven, and they're arguing about what to do. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:28 Never was the Magglofflin group more high-minded than in a debate about what to do about weapons. Right. Can they diffuse it while preserving its personality? And seven's like, no, let's just beam it off at the port bow and blow it to bits. That way we can preserve ourselves. And taking up the argument from the opposite side as the doctor going, like, let's give it back to its people after we diffuse it.
Starting point is 00:25:51 Like I'm sure they have great respect for the mind of aboard this thing that is designed to go blow itself up. How much thought do you think went into the construction of this missile in making it look like just a plain-ass neutral missile looking device instead of like, I guess the question put another way is like it's sort of the ugly baby question. Like if this missile looks ferocious and is covered with sharp things and like looks like something that is made to kill. Do you think this conversation goes differently versus if it's like just a smooth plane sphere
Starting point is 00:26:33 that talks to the doctor, you know? Right, yeah. It feels like it's sort of a cross between like a Nassel from like a de-list Starfleet vessel and like the bombs from Broken Arrow. Yeah. It doesn't feel like intrinsically scary. The way the Shrike was designed or whatever.
Starting point is 00:26:54 Yeah. Yeah, it felt the same way. You know, they're going through this weird moral dilemma and decide that maybe they'll try and get the intelligence out of the bomb casing and then they can just get rid of the part that they don't like. So it's surgery on a torpedo time. Adam, we love this in Star Trek. Love it. Love it every time. I love that they get two security people to kind of hand carry this thing. Yeah. To six pay for the procedure. Those guys looked so humiliated in the turbo lift scene where the doctor is talking to it and not them.
Starting point is 00:27:31 Yeah, very unkind. Objection noted, we'll do this without you, do it. Get through to it. Get through to it. Objection noted, we'll do this without you, do it. Get through to it. Get through it. Get through it.
Starting point is 00:27:42 BLT begins the transfer in 6 Bay, and the missile kind of wants to watch the surgery as it happens. Yeah. And Kim is describing everything happening below the sheet, as it were. Kim's the play by play man. And the surgery does not go well enterprise. The missile does not like what it's hearing, and at a certain point, it arms itself, and they have like very little time to shut it down.
Starting point is 00:28:11 It wouldn't surprise me at all if McGroober was inspired by this scene specifically. Like it's gonna blow up in 20 seconds and everyone is springing into action for anything that can defuse it. Picky, that hairbrush. You've got him, McGroober. The solution that is actually suggested by the captain
Starting point is 00:28:27 is hit it with an EMP. But where are we gonna find a van? And done, Cheedle, to operate it. We're so far away from Earth. Mr. Nielix, how many replicated credits does it take to replicate a van? I'm thinking something in an Econoline E250 or similar. It's changing van history again.
Starting point is 00:28:52 I was wondering if they were going to do something with the doctor's mobile emitter because he doesn't need to wear it in 6P but he is wearing it. Yeah, that's really... You can break the episode by calling attention to that. Well, I think it's just that he didn't take it off since he came from engineering with the bomb. Oh, yeah. But yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:12 Well, that'll teach him next time. Got to drop your keys in your Hollywood meter and a little dish by the door. He really do. Otherwise, they're just going to go missing and you're going to feel like an idiot. Yeah. So he dressed a reason with the bomb by begging it to disarm itself, but it doesn't comply. Instead, they hit it with the EMP pulse and it's K-Oed, but it's not as K-Oed as they think initially. Great reveal here. The doctor is upset by what happened, but not for the reasons you may think. I love the framing on Robert Picardo in this, because the camera's focused on Harry Kim,
Starting point is 00:29:51 who's in the background and Picardo's in the foreground, sort of facing away from camera. And his voice shifts down, and he expresses the great umbra,ge he takes with the course of action that they just pursued. He and become villain. Somebody set him up the bomb. He does not put the contact lenses back in of the Jackalette episode. Fortunately for everyone. Ben, I actually found those contact lenses on a prop auction. No way.
Starting point is 00:30:26 And what happened may surprise you. No one bid on them. And no one won them. So where are the, just Christie's or Sotheby's just have them? They just threw them away. No one wanted those things. Oh, that's a shame.
Starting point is 00:30:41 Yeah. I believe it. So yeah, this entity is now in the doctor and fully believes that their attempt to transfer its intelligence into a hollow matrix like the doctor was a thinly veiled ruse and they were actually trying to shut it down and disarm the bomb. And really quickly, this is a hostage situation where it's like radioing its demands up to the bridge. You really learn how much control the doctor has over ship systems. I was surprised at how quickly he was able to sort of lock down that room. But I
Starting point is 00:31:17 guess his control is only limited to what happens in the six bay, right? That was sort of the sense I got because he also like needs them to send sensors to him and stuff. Yeah. His position of negotiation, if you want to call it that, is like, I've got these hostages. Give me the information I need. And Janeway has very few options in this gun versus grenade fight. Like, duck missile is like, I'm going to blow up the damn ship if you don't give me what I want. And for the moment, Janeway is not willing to play this kind of chicken. But you know, she just fucking loves playing ship chicken, right? She loves it. At one point before they get on the radio, she's talking about
Starting point is 00:31:59 jettison the whole damn section. Yeah. Would that mean like a chunk of the hull would come out and the six bay is in there? Wouldn't that be great? I guess you don't have a six bay anymore, but yeah, or a chief engineer or an ops officer. God. Two crew members were killed in the breach. Stand on red alert.
Starting point is 00:32:20 Can you imagine like if you could measure sexual virility on a graph, like what you'll lose if you jettison, Ensign Kim? There's not a dry eye on the ship that day, but plenty of other things are dry. Dr. Missile wants to fulfill its mission and it wants the Voyager to help, and by the end of this scene, he seems to be getting what he wants. They give him his sensors. They set a course toward where he was trying to go. But there's a kind of dilemma here because like Janeway complies to by time, but he'll detonate if they don't take him where he wants to go, which kills him and the ship. So like he doesn't complete
Starting point is 00:33:05 the mission if he detonates. They're sort of it logger warheads. Yeah. It's really true. Dr. Missile's logic makes sense to Dr. Missile, but not really to anyone else. Yeah, but they have to go by Dr. Missile's logic because Dr. Missile is a missile. So it's ideas time once again. How are we going to figure our way out of this mess? On the bridge, Nelik shows Chicoote, something that may come in handy. It's a replicator due to ads that he obtained
Starting point is 00:33:37 by a merchant a little while back. And it's built a lot like that missile in Six Bay. And Chicoote is like,, great, let's find this guy because maybe he might have some answers about what to do about this missile thing. Yeah, he might know who built it or something. Yeah. So that's put into effect.
Starting point is 00:33:54 And we cut down to Six Bay where Harry Kim is really beating the shit out of himself for allowing all of this to happen. Like if they had just ignored the distress call at the beginning, they would not be in this pickle. That bomb would have been safely wedged in that rock on that planet, not bothering anyone. There's something very comfortable about Kim and BLT
Starting point is 00:34:16 together in a scene, hashing something out. Like this is one of the first scenes in the first episodes that we got of them together trying to puzzle their way through a problem. And so like, while not a direct callback to that scene, I think there's something nice about returning to this pairing to figure something out. And I like how he's like a little bit more officially a starfleet than she is, but she has a lot more reps as an officer than he does. Like, she's like, you think you're a shitty CEO.
Starting point is 00:34:52 Like, the first away mission I went on went way worse than. I get to tell you about this time I played soccer in the academy. And you'll never guess what happened. It is something I too feel a great amount of responsibility. And same about. Harry comes up with this idea like maybe since this bomb is smart, we can like reason with it. And he suggests like why don't we scan your target and like take a look at it and see if this is something you can really feel great about destroying utterly.
Starting point is 00:35:30 Yeah. Yeah. Let's take a look at it first before we fuck it up. How about we take a look at it and you tell it what you're going to do before you do it? Yeah. That'd feel good, right? It's like receiving a dick pick to this bomb Because it gets more excited not less. Yeah, they're a monuclear dick pick That's the best kind dr. Missle has a lot of Kind of catchphrases about like the monstrosity of the enemy and preserving its people. And it really feels like it's got an extra grind against the nemesis. It talks a little bit about like yellow cake plutonium,
Starting point is 00:36:15 fairly casually, and like some tubes. Yeah. Like we're just supposed to know how this stuff works. So aluminum tubes just inherently been. Yeah. Oh, you'd have to like remachine them to make them useful and the application for the thing. So like, it would be pointless to import
Starting point is 00:36:34 that specific type of tube for this application. Maybe I talked about the tube a little too much. Let's get back to the yellow cake. The yellow cake is the thing. I wish we'd have found weapons of mass destruction. Oh, the guy that you sent to Niger to look into that said it was nothing and and actually knows what he's talking about. You know, the saddest thing about that was in the congressional commissary.
Starting point is 00:36:58 They took yellow cake off the menu. Yeah, it's only angel food and devil's food after that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's only angel food and devil's food after that. Yeah. Right. Yeah. They tried to keep red velvet on the menu for a while, but the Democrats would not purchase it. Right. Kim is not the negotiator that he styles himself as like he tries appealing to this thing on some sort of emotional level. And uses the doctor as a reason to sort of come at this from a couple of angles.
Starting point is 00:37:29 Like, look, if talking about your target isn't going to jostle your mind out of this single mindedness, maybe the potential for yourself could be the other angle. Like, look, the doctor can do whatever he wants. And he often does, which grosses us out. And what I'm trying to say is that could be you. You get yourself a hollow transmitter. You know, you get yourself
Starting point is 00:37:46 hollow transmitter, you start going to sundryns and fucking some hollow people, like that could be you. Maybe you could take seven of nine on a date, but you're playing war. Yeah, the sucks. So this ends with no progress made. Dr. Missle throws this back in Harry Kim's face. And up on the bridge, we receive a phone call from Oncwani, the salesman that sold Nelix that replicator doodad. Yeah. Boyager, good to see you again.
Starting point is 00:38:20 They beam this guy right into engineering. I really took exception to Nelix offering the information that the ship was more or less under Jerez. Yeah. I don't think you reveal that to like an unknown person over the phone. Yeah. This is a bad Neelix episode for what happens here and also that he involves himself in the trade in engineering when they're talking about the terms. Like if the IRS calls Neelix, quote unquote,
Starting point is 00:38:45 he's totally like going to the bank and wiring the money, you know, without considering whether he's actually speaking to the IRS. Right. I've got tickets that lock them. Get them all a bit of a large, but I've got tickets that lock them. What's not?
Starting point is 00:38:59 He's selling a high school. God. A greatest gen live show is something you don't want to miss. Why? Well, it's a great opportunity to see me and Ben in person, but that's not all. FODs from all over gather at these shows to cosplay, to do pre and post-show hangs, to make friends, and share their embarrassment. Hey, let's make a pretty great name for a tour.
Starting point is 00:39:25 Let's do it. The Share Your Embarrassment Tour is coming in August 2023, and we've got a bunch of dates in a lot of great places. Go to greatestgentour.com to get more info. That's greatestgentour.com for dates and ticketing information for the Share Your Embarrassment Tour. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Jesse Thorne. On Jordan Jesse Go, we make pure, delightful nonsense.
Starting point is 00:39:49 We were open awesome guests and bring them down to our level. We get stupid with Judy Greer. My friend Molly and I call it having the spaceweirds. Pat Noswald. Could I get a Balrog burger and some air-gorn fries? Thank you. And Kumail Nanjiani. I've come back with cat toothbrushes,
Starting point is 00:40:06 which is impossible to use. Come get stupider with us at MaximumFun.org. Look, your podcast apps are open, just pull it out. Give Jordan Jesse Goatry. Being smart is hard. Be dumb instead. Whoa, Raps, hey, hey, hey, oh, I'm about to count you in line. These clouds are really freaking me out.
Starting point is 00:40:24 I hate having to stand in line and boy, what do I? These giraffes do not smell good. No, they do not, and they've such short nacks. But I'm hearing we need to get on this. We've got to get on the art. It's about terrain, it's about historic humanity. Hey, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Are you Noah?
Starting point is 00:40:40 Yeah, I know we look like humans. We're actually, we're podcasters. We are podcasters, so it's different. Have you heard of Ono Ross and Carrie? We investigate spirituality claims of the paranormal stuff like that and you have a boat and say the world's gonna And so seem like something for us to check out. We would love to be on the boats. We came two by two. What do you think? Ono Ross and Carrie available on MaximumFun.org. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ On Quanny is on a cloaked ship and he unclogs and comes over. You know, he wants confirmation that the warhead isn't listening in because he feels
Starting point is 00:41:25 like the warhead is, is got pretty good intelligence gathering material on board, but he's very interested in it. And he's like, yeah, like I'm, I'm totally happy to take it off your hands. And my only reward is having it. His creature loaf is really interesting to me. He looks a little bit fishy. Yeah, a little bit like those dino people, but definitely distinct. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, great big turtle neck, as you often get in characters that look fishy. I think that this actor is the same one that played the guy that only clicked and beeped in the Jason Alexander episode. Oh, that's fun. Yeah, which was kind of like not dissimilar loaf in many ways.
Starting point is 00:42:13 I like that. Yeah, bring him back. Yeah. He kind of goes through the curriculum vete of this missile. It's warp capable, it's self-guiding, it doesn't, you know, it can like dodge and weave between enemy starships, it's got a very long distance range. If it were in the room, he'd be slapping a turd as he describes it.
Starting point is 00:42:37 But yeah, Unquanny has a transporter system that will work on this thing and Janeway is a little bit hesitant to give it up because she does not want this weird dude they just met to have a weapon of this great of power without knowing exactly what he plans to do with it. Right. He can have the the tubing and the yellow cake. He just can't have the third thing. The thing that matters. He can't refine it. Right.
Starting point is 00:43:07 And this guy promises, he's like, look, I'm not gonna sell it as a whole missile, I'm gonna sell it for parts. I'm gonna separate it out, there's more profit that way. And Janeways, well, that's fine, but I am keeping the energy matrix. And the guy's like, what the fuck, the energy matrix is the main thing I wanna the fuck? The energy matrix is like the main thing I
Starting point is 00:43:25 want to sell. And the aliens finally like no deal. And beams away. He beams away and then he fucks around and finds out because he tries to lock on to that bomb and the bomb does not want to be locked upon. Now, Doc missile hits some buttons on the missile and that alien ship explodes. It blows big. Rose real big. Cut to the wide shot on a Quanny ship. And Voyager keeps screaming toward this target
Starting point is 00:44:01 and another idea session breaks out on the bridge. You're too. This time it's 7 of 9. The idea that nanoprobes could be the solution. As they are so often in episode centered around 7 of 9. Right. Much in the way that mine melds are often the solution when two-foc has a large part to play or vision quests have are the solution when Chico Te has a large part to play or vision quests have are the solution when Chico Te has a large part to play. It's been a long time since we've seen her ram her tubules into something. So before we get to see this though, we cut to space where a fleet of these
Starting point is 00:44:41 missiles are flying together and identify the Voyager and all like warp off together to pursue because they've got to go get their boy. Great little cutscene here. Yeah, very ominous. And you like really don't know what they're up to in this moment in a way that I really liked. Yeah. Yeah, she really should be concerned about what's behind her instead of what's ahead.
Starting point is 00:45:04 I mean, what's ahead is this minefield, the aforementioned pinefield and with these missiles coming up behind them that they don't know about. At this point, it's a question about who they're going to meet first. Yeah. So they have a planning meeting. Issue three. And it's Chicoetay and Paris and Seven and Nilox talking about how they're going to trick Dr. Missile into thinking that they're getting hit by these mines
Starting point is 00:45:29 So that they can get seven into the room and close enough to the bomb to hit it with the nanoproves Is this like the fourth meeting they've had on this episode? There you go! It really feels like a meeting heavy app, huh? It is. I thought it was also interesting that Janeway wasn't in this one. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:49 She's gonna have a big part to play in this plan, but I guess it's all just her bluster, like reporting that they're hitting the minefields. So. This is a fun kind of Ocean's 11 plan, they're like we're everyone has a specific job. Right. That they're best at.
Starting point is 00:46:03 Yeah. Paris is gonna be the wheel man. He has to sell the bangers. That they're hitting, but they're best at. Yeah, Paris is gonna be the wheelman. He has to sell the bangers that they're hitting even though they're not gonna actually be hitting mines. Neelix has to make it look like seven as suffered plasma burns. Seven has to go in and deliver the nanoprobes. Down in six bang, Dr. Missle.
Starting point is 00:46:21 Finally gets vulnerable with Kim and BLT. Finally asks for help. Yeah. It's a touching scene with, I think, a lot to teach all of us. BLT does not want to help initially. And Kim has to cite chapter and verse from the officer's manual on why they should. And it's not like the warm and fuzzy starfleet reason why you would think. It's literally that they need to help so that they can get closer to their captor and get ideas for how to get out of captivity. Three minutes of Dr. Missile's memories missing. Got to figure out what's in those three
Starting point is 00:47:04 minutes. And once they start digging, they find this was a message to divert to this planet that they found a mat. There's a lot of questions in this scene. Like, why would Dr. Missile's people scuddle this shot? And the more Dr. Missile learns, the more incredulous he becomes.
Starting point is 00:47:24 This is insane. Dr. Missile learns, the more incredulous he becomes. This is insane. Dr. Missile is intentionally designed to be really skeptical of reasons not to destroy the target he was set out to destroy. So he is very resistant to this and cannot authenticate the EAM when he breaks his little card out of the plastic case because it's also missing some coding for that. We play these games all night, Mr. Hunter, but I don't have to lager your presumptions. So, Kim and BLT, like after a little argument, are permitted to continue their research,
Starting point is 00:47:58 because at this point, what's the difference, right? Right. They're very much trying to make the case that like maybe this is the reason you hit that planet. Maybe there's more to this. There's more we can find in here. And so they go in, but before there's any resolution on this, the subspace mind-rues commences and bangers start getting dropped on the ship. Kim and BLT make the case that the missiles mission is over
Starting point is 00:48:26 and Dr. Missile is like, nothing is over. Nothing. You don't just turn me off. Yeah, he's like, I was, I was thought a missile is the best weapon. They'd you first rock, not me. Troutman is up on the bridge like I made that missile. I literally manufactured it, not like I trained it.
Starting point is 00:48:55 Like I made it a factory. A banger signals the beginning of this subspace mind plan that we saw earlier. And in a conversation between Janeway and Dr. Missile, he seems to believe what's going on and more and more bangers could drop. And as they do, there's a real a team kind of feeling as this plan starts to come together from all these different crew people. There's coffee in another good shake just to be sure. Yes, ma'am.
Starting point is 00:49:24 Yeah. Like, the bad news that Dr. Missile is getting is that they're going to have to slow down and take a more careful path toward his goal, which, you know, only buys them time and only makes him more vulnerable. So he's pretty pissed about it. But also, you can't risk the ship getting taken out by these mines. So what's he going to do? but also you can't risk the ship getting taken out by these mines. So what's he gonna do? And the person that is capable of plotting a course precise enough to run the trenches is injured with plasma burns.
Starting point is 00:49:56 And you know, they show, you know, Nielix has turned the light that you wave over a cut from suck to blow. So he's getting her ready to sell the part of a injured crew person. Tuvac is getting in place to like fuck up the hollow matrix, and they put this into effect. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:14 I know you don't want to do it. Coffee, black, make it yourself. I'm trying to help you see this as an opportunity to grow. Make it yourself. Once sevens and six base, she gets up while Dr. Missile's distracted and runs her tubules all up in that missile and something really shocking happens.
Starting point is 00:50:33 She gets injured for real. Yeah, it's a pretty bad war-flightening hit seven. Talk about your all-time backfires. Like, two-vac can't get the hollow matrix messed up. Spon is outfoxing them all. Yeah. And now, now is the promise realized of the scene we got before, because no one plays Starship Chicken like Janeway,
Starting point is 00:51:00 and she's like, yes, finally, it's my time. I get to fucking gamble with this whole ship. Yeah. High stakes, baby. Yeah. This is not a negotiation! and she's like, yes, finally, it's my time. I get to fucking gamble with this whole ship. High stakes, baby. This is not a negotiation. Complier, I will detonate. Go ahead. The 32 other missiles show up.
Starting point is 00:51:15 Yeah. And they're like squarming around the ship. How great is this profile shot? So good. Outside the ship of these things, flying information. I loved it. I loved it. And they're transmitting to Dr.
Starting point is 00:51:26 Missile confirming, you know, what its mission is. Like they altered course to make sure Dr. Missile was like on their way with them. Dr. Missile sounds like a tube that you buy on the, like at a pharmacy. For like when you blister your dick. Getting too vigorous, a dry hand job or something? Yeah, yeah, that's a tough one to, like, go up for the consult at the pharmacy window.
Starting point is 00:51:56 Yeah. You know, you go through the checkstand at a pharmacy, you want to yourself check out when you're buying Dr. Missle. Maybe you buy a greeting card and some other things so that you're not just buying Dr. Missile. Yeah, but it's like also this is a right aid so they have thrifty ice cream and it's like I'm not leaving without a cone. Got to have that.
Starting point is 00:52:20 So what am I going to do? Go through self-check out with my doctor, missile, and then go back through in-person check out so I can get my scoop of weird cylindrical ice cream. That's a tough spot. You've got weird cylindrical problems at that point, don't you? I love this. Like, the count is correct, right? Here come the 32 missiles we heard about earlier. Yeah. And the missiles are in communication with Dr. Missile. Yeah, and they're like, you got to, you got to hit your target, we're going to go all hit our targets. It is important that this all happens all at once. And we're already down a man in Dr. Missile's partner that blew up that planet.
Starting point is 00:53:02 It's tearing up a hearts that you didn't blew and when we are apart we didn't blew to and no matter what we blew we feel the same whether or not we blew perfect perfect song they are telling Dr. Missile One thing while Harry is like Not we boo! Perfect. Perfect song. They are telling Dr. Mizzle one thing while Harry is like finding the confirmation code in the scrambled database to prove the other thing. And there's like a thing where like once they're passed a certain threshold,
Starting point is 00:53:39 you can't send an abort code to them, which is just great design. You see this all the time, and war movies, especially that point of no return. Yeah. In future war movies, especially, why do future scientists program their missiles this way? It's so bad. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:56 But, yeah, like, Dr. Missle and its partner were the two that got it in time, and everybody else. Do you think they were aloping? Yeah, yeah. What was there before that impact crater that they showed on screen in the ass lab was like space Vegas, you know? You drive through Elvis Chapel
Starting point is 00:54:16 for two missiles to get married at. Someone's gonna have a problem with that, Ben. It's missile and eve and not missile and missile. So the cognitive dissonance is starting to get to Dr. Missell here. Yeah. And it becomes incumbent upon lawyer Harry Kim to make a persuasive argument. What a great scene this was. I have a duty to protect my people, to destroy my target.
Starting point is 00:54:49 You've been programmed with intelligence, so you can make decisions on your own. Well, it's time to make one. Countless lives are at stake. It was great. I almost forgot that this was a Garrett Long episode for the Middle Act, but the first act in the third act really makes the case for this being a great gear at long-end. It absolutely is.
Starting point is 00:55:09 It's a great scene, and I mean, it might just be because Star Trek Picards on my mind, it's so present. But like this has a better crimson tide argument scene than Picard V. Riker in that early season episode of Star Trek Picard season three. Like, yeah. This dialogue really fucking crackles and there's so much meaning behind it. It's great.
Starting point is 00:55:32 It's really good and it's persuasive. When this argument is over, Dr. Mistle has made the decision to self-sacrifice to stop a horrible crime from happening. Kim doesn't understand this. He hears the doctor and he's like, so you're busting early intentionally? And that way you don't do what everyone's there to do.
Starting point is 00:55:56 And the doc is like, yeah, to prevent a nuclear holocaust. And Harry's like, yeah, I don't think it's worth it. I just would never do that. I've never busted early in my life. I mean, if you were the doctor, you would know. Yeah. So they beam the bomb out into space. One of the others, like, tractor beams it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:21 It's nice. And they all zip off. One missile taken care of another? Yeah. And there all zip off. One missile taken care of another. Yeah, and there was, when there was only one set of missile tracks in the sand. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha.
Starting point is 00:56:34 Yeah. They go off to warp and then. That's a little shadow box thing I wanted my bathroom. Mm. Just done the counter. Ha, ha, ha. I'm sure somebody in the audience could cross stitch that for you. Yeah. I'll be knowing. Dr. missile does what it said it was going to do. It takes
Starting point is 00:56:52 itself out. And in so doing takes out all the others, which were not smart enough to fly in a formation that was sufficiently spread apart that this wouldn't happen. Stupid missiles. We're supposed to feel good by this. 33 living missiles die in this moment. RSVP missiles. But they would have killed a whole lot more. Had they succeeded, right? And started a war up.
Starting point is 00:57:20 Yeah. The point is like the war is over and they were launched on accident. The button on the episode is a couple of little scenes, first Harry checking in on the dock and there's no love loss between these two. I mean, there's a professional respect, right? It's kind of related to that scene BLT and Kim had earlier, right? Like the feeling of responsibility you have when something bad happens.
Starting point is 00:57:47 Right. And maybe seeing that as the growth opportunity that it is. Yeah, the doctor had really condescended to Kim when he found out that Kim was leading the away mission and now realizes that basically everything he rode for on that away mission caused more trouble and not less. And the scene ends with both the doctor and Kim feeling better for this exchange. The episode ends with Kim going back up on the night shift with Ensign Jenkins.
Starting point is 00:58:17 Turns out word of his exploits have made it around to the lower decks and you might say flooded them. People have been talking about you. Oh. Yeah, I mean, hard not to see this as flirtation by Ensign Jenkins, right? She's more than happy to gas Ensign Kim up a little bit here. Yeah. I mean, I hope I'm not wrong.
Starting point is 00:58:40 I hope this is not just a coworker being nice and a misinterpreting it, but it sure feels like flirtation. I mean, he doesn't do anything about it in the moment, which is I think what's most important. He's on the clock. Yeah. They end with a little punch line and we are out of episode 24, season five at him.
Starting point is 00:59:02 Did you like this episode? You know, probably to use it to get along with, most of the time. But I don't like bullets, I don't like friends, and I don't like you. I'm just you. This just felt like a perfect little science fiction construction project taking place on an episode of Star Trek Voyager, right? I really did. I mean, beginning to end, it was characters acting like you would expect them to, like
Starting point is 00:59:33 according to their strengths, to solve a problem, a problem that is an especially science fictiony problem, you know? You could fucking see this on the whiteboard, right? Episode 24, Living Missile, Question Mark. Episode 25, like something else, just these descriptions of episodes, like where you know all you need to know about how the episode's gonna play by those two words.
Starting point is 00:59:59 I mean, you do, but also like, they did that episode early on where there was like a Cardassian missile that BLT had reprogrammed in her own voice. Right. It took such a different direction from this. A lot of similar themes, the missile that nothing you try can disarm it, can persuade it not to do the thing it thinks it's supposed to do.
Starting point is 01:00:21 Was that juggernaut? I think juggernaut was the name of that episode. Something's gone wrong with your programming dreadnought. I respect the game of a series going back to basically the exact same well and extracting two different stories out of it. Totally. I mean, it's like, you know, an early curb your enthusiasm episode where you're like, didn't they just do this in Seinfeld and then you rewatch the Seinfeld episode and you're like, well, it's the same joke premise, but all the punchlines are different,
Starting point is 01:00:49 so I'm not that mad about it. Yeah, but this is like hard art as a version. So, yeah. You get to see Suzie's tits and Jeff's dick. Fuck you, Larry. I can see you're looking at my tits. And Jeff just nods, sagely, into his classed hands. Pretty good.
Starting point is 01:01:14 Yeah, this is a very fun episode. I really agree with you, Adam. It's just nice. It's nice, isn't episode. You know what else is fun? Priority one inbox messages. And I think we should head there and look at them right now. Look at how stiff this priority one inbox is. Nice to see.
Starting point is 01:01:31 It is nice to see. Thanks to everyone who's gotten one. Yeah. Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. You need a supplement on it. supplement on it? supplement. supplement.
Starting point is 01:01:44 Yeah it's extra. The interest alone could be enough to buy this ship. Our first priority one message is of a promotional nature. It goes like this. Hey Adam and Ben, we are two long time FODs showing appreciation by business expensing an ad for our own business. That's how you do it.
Starting point is 01:02:07 Hell yeah. Expense it. It's our sci-fi webcomic Cassiopeia Quinn. It's about the sometimes sexy, sometimes cute, often heartfelt space adventures of Cassiopeia and her friends and frenemies. It features captains, aliens, reaching for the stars, and has hundreds of pages that you can read for free at Cassiopeaquin.com. It's been a real labor of love working on it, and we hope fellow pod viewers like it too. Damn! Well, if that sounds good to you, please take a look at the webcomic at CassioPiQuin.com. And Cassiopeia Quinn is a great name.
Starting point is 01:03:05 It's a tremendous name. I love this art style. Cassiopeia Quinn is very fun to look at. When I meet a Cassi, is Cassi short for Cassiopeia? I think sometimes Cassi is short for Cassiopeia. I like that. I actually knew a guy in Seattle with a daughter named Cassiopeia.
Starting point is 01:03:24 Great name. One of the daughter named Cassio Pia. Great name. One of the authors of Cassio Pia Quinn is listed as pseudonym. Also a good name. Yeah. Like Alan Smithy. I think folks will enjoy this web comic if they enjoy our work and sometimes sexy, sometimes cute things. And who doesn't? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:46 Ben, our next priority one message comes from mom, dad, honor, and Margot. It is to Dr. Hair. Whoa. And the request is to read this in Kernvois. Okay. Here's the thing about Kernvois. If you're gonna Pimp Kern, you better write it in Kernvois. Let's see if mom, dad, honor, and market Ray, we will pull this off.
Starting point is 01:04:14 Okay. Congrats on earning your MD and PhD. Wow. Well, our logic is uncertain, where he who is our son and brother is concerned. Our theory free-supposes. You're more soothing at bedside than the EMH. Less species is than Blaski. Let's attract it to Gandalf's then, Crusher. And this creepy then, Bashir. Eternal thanks for introducing us to this hilarious part. Really damning with faint praise
Starting point is 01:05:01 with the comparisons to Crusher and Bashir. I'd great, yeah. And like less species than Palazki, this is all faint praise with the comparisons to Crusher and Bashir. I agreed, yeah. And like less species than Polanski, this is all faint praise. What the hell? Yeah. Dr. Dr. Hair has been working real hard on these dual advanced degrees,
Starting point is 01:05:17 and their family treats them like this. I like the, the Deborah, I like the Derbord actors. I like the double doctorate going on here. This is a Klingon diploma, isn't it? Well, maybe that's why it was Keran voice. You know you get two of them wrapped up and the little ribbons around them? That's nice.
Starting point is 01:05:40 That's nice. It's like two Christmas presents. Adam our final P1 is from Gimber, it's two band and atom, goes like this. Thanks for all of the laughs guys, listeners since TGGS1E1 and have enjoyed every minute. I wish I could have supported it earlier, but better late than never. Keep up the great pod! Thanks a ton Gimber! Thank you Gimber, we really appreciate the support and if you would like to support or get the word out about a
Starting point is 01:06:08 thing that is either sexy or cute or maybe both had to maximum fun.org slash Jembo Tron and get a P1 today. Hey Ben. What's that Adam? Did you find yourself a drunk Shimoda? I think I'm gonna give it to Dr. Missle because if I did get frustrated with this episode It was at the point where Dr. Missle was like I don't want to like even check my logic, you know like I understand that people like that Surround us to an extent that is staggering and horrifying, but like checking your own thinking for flaws and checking your own beliefs against reality and abandoning them. If they don't comport with that, that shit's important
Starting point is 01:07:01 and it's fucking drunk remote and nonsense not to do that. So boy, you're really writing it and then me think about like any civilization with technology sufficient to create a missile that can think for itself. You sure as hell hope can create a missile smart enough to double or triple check its mission parameters, right? Right. And you check as it goes. So.
Starting point is 01:07:27 I believe in a future where public schools have plenty of funding and the Air Force is only doing a remedial job of educating its missiles. All right. Double Shimoda. First, Bob Ben. Dr. Missile. Also mine. All right, double Shimoda first, man. Dr. Missle, also mine. What's coming up on the next episode? Oh, boy, the next episode is the finale of season five
Starting point is 01:07:54 and the exciting first of a two-parter at season five, episode 25, equinox, part one. Voyager comes to the aid of the Equinox. Another Federation starship also abducted by the caretaker. Whoa. Yeah. They got another one.
Starting point is 01:08:12 More caretaker stuff. That'll be interesting. Yeah. We gotta find out how we're going to be recording this episode. And one of the ways we could be recording this episode is from the bathtub. Fuck. Don't do it. recording this episode. And one of the ways we could be recording this episode is from the bathtub.
Starting point is 01:08:25 Fuck. Don't do it. We're ever at goch.biz slash game, where we keep the game of buttholes. The bill of the caretaker. Our runabout is currently on square 25. That naked now square. The only thing we could hit that would modify next week's episode. I'm fucking walking off the job if we get that.
Starting point is 01:08:47 Don't do it, Ben. You threatened that. I feel like you're not considering the fact that I have an infant child that needs to be fed and clothed. This is the only thing I have. You're required to learn as you play. Roll. God, I don't want this. Well, maybe we won't get it.
Starting point is 01:09:10 We didn't, Adam. I run the fun. Tula! Did I win? Oh, we're on square 26. It's still dangles over us like the sort of new to Cleese. The bathtub of Damocles always hangs over Catherine Janeway. Right? Yeah, I wonder she's getting so willing to risk the ship in these later seasons.
Starting point is 01:09:35 Oh boy, I am feeling great gambling relief of the kind I typically only experience in Vegas. Looking forward to a regular episode next week, Adam. Yeah. Feels good, man. And you wanna know another great feeling? Hmm. All the support we get from friends at this hotel,
Starting point is 01:09:54 I'm not just talking about financial support, we get at maximumfund.org slash join. Yeah. Talking about like reviews. Yes. People have been really throwing in on the reviews lately in a positive way. And I think we are numerically close to another big number. Oh wow.
Starting point is 01:10:11 We're the most and highest-reviewed Star Trek podcast out there, which helps. Yeah, if you've got access to an Apple device, you've got access to Apple podcasts, and if you could take a moment to give us a five star review over there, that's free and it helps a ton and we really appreciate it. Another way to get the word out about the show is to post about it on social media using the hashtag GreatestGen, we're all over social media at GreatestTrek, that account run by the card daddy Bill Tilly, who we really appreciate. We got to thank Wendy pretty our producer editor who keeps this show on the rails. The way that has got to be challenging for her given what goofballs we've been lately. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:58 What long-ass episodes we've been sending her to edit. Yeah. Sorry Wendy. She turns them back around making us sound funny and good. Yeah. I don't know how she does it. We got to thank Adam Ragusia, our buddy who makes the original theme music for this show and all our shows. I encourage you to check his stuff out over on YouTube. He's a great cooking show and a podcast at the Adam and Ragusia show. and a podcast, The Adam and Chris, your show. Shows to live by, really smart and good stuff. And often peppers in a little reference to Star Trek or even this show in what he does.
Starting point is 01:11:33 Yeah, how good does he look at a greatest gen shirt? Oh, so jealous. Better than I do. That's for sure. I need to eat more tilapia. I don't want to look like that. Almost thought you were going to say tilaxian. It was like jeez.
Starting point is 01:11:50 You know, I'm waiting for that Star Trek Voyager episode when things get pretty dire. Well Adam, we can only hope that will be next week. For now, we're going to leave you and come back with another great episode of Star Trek Voyager An episode of the greatest generation Voyager that we hope is not also Abducted by the carry-taker like what if we just went to the Delta Quadrant right then and there Nobody ever heard from us again. Damn. We would not be smart enough to get back No, we wouldn't have had multiple different experiences that would have gotten us 10,000 light years closer. Who would host the show and are stead?
Starting point is 01:12:28 I mean, I think Wendy would do better than we do. How about you? There'd be that moment where our will is read to like just a couple people. And this is sort of like the opposite of catching the the guard or the wedding. Like no one wants to catch the show. Wendy is sitting there in the audience and here's that she is going to have to post the show solo from here on out. And then the camera pans down and she's got a pencil in her hand and she snaps it.
Starting point is 01:12:58 I can't do better than that ending, Brent. I'm turning it it off. I'm making sure. I'm making sure. I'm making sure. You're the God of the U. I'm making sure. I'm making sure. I'm making sure.
Starting point is 01:13:11 You're the God of the U. I'm making sure. I'm making sure. I'm making sure. I'm making sure. I'm making sure. You're the God of God. God of God.
Starting point is 01:13:21 God of God. God, God, God, God, God, God, God. Maximumfund.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.

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