The Greatest Generation - Tripping THE Balls (VOY S5E14)
Episode Date: February 27, 2023When a shiny bleached space butthole seems too good to be true, it turns out to be a nicotine-stained space whale that makes everyone’s horny fantasies come to life. But when Voyager gets swallowed ...up and only the Doc and Naomi remain, Seven’s loafy-faced Canadian boyfriend comes aboard to play Ahab to her Job. Who has the skills to out hack Harry Kim? Can sparkling wine be used to commit a war crime? Has pizza ever been a viable fooling-around food? It’s the episode that’s made for Gen Z!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.Friends of DeSoto for Democracy.Friends of DeSoto for Justice. Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Caretaker!Music by Adam Ragusea & Dark MateriaFollow The Greatest Generation on Twitter, and discuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen!The Greatest Generation is on Twitch.Facebook group | Subreddit | Discord | WikiSign up for our mailing list!Get a thing at podshop.biz!
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Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel.
Hey friends of Disodo.
Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor
actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry.
If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join
us in standing in solidarity with the folks who actually bring these adventures to life.
Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production
Studios, have reduced the profit from movies and TV going to workers. And in so doing,
they've attempted to weaken the labor unions that represent those workers. They wouldn't
even engage the unions on many issues in their negotiations. And so a strike was the only course of action to take.
Adam, Wendy and I have been having a lot of internal
discussions about how best to stand with the unions
and we are continuing those conversations
in a dynamic situation.
We're doing our best to understand where the picket lines
are in these digital spaces,
and we would never intentionally cross one.
With the information we have,
we feel like we can do more good talking about and supporting
the strike and continuing our show as planned.
We'll keep you informed about what all this means for greatest trek specifically.
Today we're making a contribution to the Entertainment Community Fund.
This fund exists to help all the people whose livelihoods have been put on hold because
the AMPTP refuses to negotiate
in good faith with the unions. It provides financial support for writers, actors, and all the
thousands of laborers who make the shows that we talk about here and without whom we wouldn't
have Star Trek to cast pot about. Those folks are all out of work because billionaires,
company shareholders, and the executives of these companies don't want to compromise on the length of their yachts.
We hope you'll join us in supporting entertainment workers
in a challenging time,
especially after they've already endured
several years of challenges brought on by the pandemic
and season two of Star Trek Picard.
We've set up a page where you can also contribute.
It's at friendsofdecotoforlabor.com.
That's friendsofdececoto for Labor.com. That's FriendsOfDecoto for Labor.com. Link
in the episode description. Okay, now let's get on with the show.
Here's to the finest crew in Starfleet. Engage!
Watch your back shot. Hello. I'm Captain Captain Bringingway. the U.S. is 4th and Dirk. Captain Captain, Captain Bringengweather, the U.S. is 4th and Dirk.
Captain Captain, Captain.
Welcome to the greatest generation to Star Trek Podcast by a couple of guys who are just
a little bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek Podcast.
I'm Ben Harrison.
I'm Adam Prantica.
I was buying a bottle of champagne today, because this is a Quarks bar episode,
and I needed a bottle of champagne to drink during the episode.
And I was running behind, I ran into the store,
I grabbed the first bottle that seemed like it wouldn't be bad,
and the ladies working in the counter were very impressed
with my level of just shoot from the hip,
grabbed the champagne
and take it to the cash register.
And they said, wow, what's the occasion?
And I didn't wanna say I have to drink this
for my Star Trek podcast.
So I said, oh, it's for a, for a rap party.
We just finished a big tour.
Thinking that that would sound cool.
Thinking that that wouldn't lead to more questions.
The follow-up question was always, what was the tour?
Great.
And I was like, it was for my Star Trek podcast.
Oh, God.
Yet another grocery store you will be avoiding into the future.
Just one time somebody asked that question and I say,
it's for my Star Trek podcast and they ask if I'm a friend of the Soto.
That's why we invented friend of the Soto in the first place.
How about you just lie, Ben?
Just say you like to drink a bottle of champagne in the middle of the week.
Buy yourself. It's basically what this is.
I'm looking to get a real Tuesday night drunk on.
Yeah.
Yeah. A real ice-pick style hangover on a Tuesday.
Before I even go to bed.
Indeed.
Well, it's also a Code 47 episode, Adam.
And we have a bunch of packages here, a bunch of verified packages.
We hope so.
We have a kind of a trust but verify relationship with the friends of Disoto these days.
Sure.
Captain, I'm sorry to disturb you.
I'm receiving a Code 47. Verify?
It is Code 47, sir. Start lead emergency frequency.
Captions eyes only.
This first one is a little, the lady at the post office.
I could tell regretted giving it to me because she said it didn't have enough postage on it
Oh, she took one look at it and she said that doesn't have enough postage on it to get to you and I was like well
It's here. I have it
It's in my hand and she was like yeah, I guess so you're definitely the one that should be scolded the receiver of the letter
As if it's your fault and I know how deeply you felt the responsibility for that,
even though it wasn't your fault.
Oh, yeah, that's just my way.
That's me.
Yeah, I was, when we were at San Francisco sketch fest,
which is now a few weeks ago, as of the release of this.
A couple of my suitcase, it was got stolen out of the back
of my dad's car car and he was like,
he was like, God, I was just so arrogant to leave the car unlocked when I ran into the house
to get one last thing. And I was like, man, I wonder what I got this from.
Did you scream, God damn it, and a bunch of ex-latives, and start stomping around?
Because then I'd believe it.
We've got a letter here, Adam.
By the way, we're going to try a little thing of releasing just the video of us opening
the presents on YouTube.
So if you don't already follow our YouTube channel and we'd like to see all this stuff,
you can go check it out there.
It's a great new idea that Wendy had for this segment.
Dear Adam and Ben, my wife and I got into TNG during COVID lockdowns.
And since then, we try to watch an episode a week.
Right now, we are on season 6 of Voyager.
Around this time, we started my buddy introduced me to the podcast.
And since then, I've binged from the first episode to now.
I don't dread Mondays anymore.
But now that I have you two making craft star track jokes
and breaking down my now favorite sci-fi series.
In April, I was able to travel to Toronto to visit my friends, one being the same friend who introduced me to the show.
Together, we went to the Great Hall Show. It was a whale of a time, drinks laughs, king-sliced pizza,
passing out on the Geo Train.
What more can you ask for? Sometimes I find myself checkling in the office,
thinking of the milk sequence.
Oh yeah.
Milk is a bad choice.
Love the great hall.
This October our city held its yearly comic-style
pop culture con after being on hiatus for a few years
because of COVID.
This year, a local antique shop had a booth
that was primarily Star Trek collectibles.
I was originally there searching for a next-gen replica communicator badge, but spotted
finders of Trek CCGs and lo and behold, there was a natty yager for sale.
It did not find the communicator badge that day, but instead walked away with a different
treasured.
I figured I'd send it your ways, and you two fight to the death over it, using only two
fisted overhand punches at Vesca's rocks.
The winner shall earn the prize of a natural yager,
which will promptly be slotted into a three-ring binder
and shoved into a closet to collect dust.
So the inevitable need-space yard sale.
Thanks again for the laughs, Brandon.
What Brandon has included, this very jazzy bag, is indeed at a natural yager.
Wow, with the foil and everything.
With the foil and everything.
Was there a price on that because that can go for hundreds of dollars on eBay.
I'm very curious to know if there's a convention loophole, much like the gun show loophole here in the US, if there's a...
Yager bubble loophole.
Yager show loophole in Canada where you can buy a Yager at a price lower than $100.
That's really got me thinking. I never thought I would see one at a convention,
so I've never really looked, but now I will.
Yeah, now we got you.
Gotta keep the bubble going.
This is great. I don't think I have
my own Jager. So since Adam owns the lion's share of all Jagers everywhere, I think I'm
gonna hang on to this one and he can try and wrench it out of my cold dead fingers if you want.
Well, contractually, we've always said that ownership and voting rights to Uxbridge, Shimoda LLC had to do with how many natural
yakers each of us possessed.
So I believe we're at like 38 to one.
This next one is from Chicago, Illinois.
Another verified package, Adam. Oh good. We have Compromat in the slack. Oh, good. Two Ben and Adam or Adam and Ben.
There's an interior letter here.
Hages of materials here.
Oh, boy.
Ben and Adam, I hope this package finds you both well.
I want to send you a small token of gratitude from a friend of DeSoto and our very own section 31.
The CIA.
I work on a lot of things.
I'm going to be a small token of gratitude from a friend of DeSoto in our very own section 31.
The CIA!
I work on Russia issues, and as you can probably imagine, this year has been a long one.
But through the late nights, early mornings, and red eyes in economy,
you two have been stalwart companions bringing some much-needed levity to a team,
a little bit embarrassed to listen to a
Star Trek podcast. So thank you for your service. I've been closed a few small items that I hope
will solidify your status as the official Star Trek comedy podcast intelligence community.
Wow! We can have people across the US intelligence community.
I love that for us. I'd want them on our side, not against us.
Yeah, yeah. Don't look at our tanks, okay?
First off, as a letter opener, which I hope will offer you some protection from any
errant glitter-lined envelopes. The seal is the envelope of the Office of Strategic Services.
The CIA's World War II predecessor,
as I'm sure you know, judging from the podcast,
that I sense is now podcast a non-grata,
but that I still very much enjoyed.
The ISS was our first foray into intelligence,
with predictably mixed results,
much like these first episodes of TGG,
there's much pride to be had in the achievements of the glorious amateurs. I do know about the
OSS, I had an uncle that worked in the OSS back in the day.
And couldn't talk about it or talk about it a little bit with you.
I found some things out about it. Also, the logo of the United Nations.
Here's a weird one.
This researcher was working on a book
and reached out to my father about getting permission
to republish a map that my grandfather drew,
because my grandfather was a cartographer.
And he discovered that my grandfather drew the original map
that they copied for the UN logo,
which is like the Earth with all the continents
kind of coming out and it's looking down from the top.
That was a map that he drew that was adapted
by somebody at the OSS, which is so weird,
like that the UN used the graphic design services
of the US intelligence community.
That's great.
To get their logo.
Use what you got.
OK.
So second, I have a few OSS branded wine stoppers.
Next time, Demar, stop by and leaves half the canar in the bottle.
I hope you'll find some utility in these to keep your beverages fresh.
I love how this person is on the one hand,
complaining about flying economy.
Listening to us to get him through that and also sending us their branded wine stoppers.
Yeah, I wonder if these, yeah, are they like still manufacturing OSS branded wine stoppers?
That's amazing.
Lastly, a pair of challenge coins for the two of you, which I hope will convey my gratitude
for keeping the wheels turning through some very challenging times.
It must feel strange to know there are so many out there who you don't even know exist
for whom your podcast has become a little like an old trusted friend.
Thanks for all you do and look forward to the next episode.
Best G.
Well, like being employed at any intelligence agency that you can't really be truthful about what you're doing,
or what you're listening to, you need a cover story.
So there's a little PS at the end here
with like a proton male address
because the name and address that they put on the letter
are not the real address.
Wow.
Hold it closer to the camera so they can really be seen.
They're really nice looking.
Wow.
I think they're kind of the same on the front of the back, right?
Or do they just look the same on the front of the back?
And they're hiding something.
Interesting.
Really cool.
Wow. Well, I'm going to see you tonight.
So I'll bring your OSS wine stopper and challenge coin and if you want it
you can have the letter opener. I might actually use the letter opener for the
rest of this segment. That's what it's there for. Do it. Alright. We got another
verified package here. This one came to us from Brick Rock Press in Moab, Utah.
Let's see if there's a letter.
Oh, there it is.
Oh, awesome.
Okay.
Happy Holidays, great to check, crew.
Thanks a bunch for the great P1 for my Brick Rock Press stuff.
I wanted to include a joke about saying Legos instead of Lego,
but ran out of space, so Ben's comment was perfect and gave me a big laugh.
Anyway, there's some swag for my shops that I thought you might like.
I have included some 2023 calendars and FOD badges for you guys plus Bill and Wendy,
so be sure to share.
The rest is some of the odds and ends that I thought you might like, including some
isolinear chips that have an FOD Easter egg on them and some of my classic space
monitors that are totally L-Cars inspired. There's also some poker chips for Adam, my
fellow gambling degenerate. Oh good! Thanks for your great pod and on my second run
through and it still makes me laugh. Thanks Andrew! Wow! Show me those chips. So we got calendars here. There's the chips. They're little. I think they're
you know one pip chips. Those are great. Yeah. These are like a very cool Lego mini figs in various
outdoorsy situations. Me. Got the friend of DeSoto. Ooh. Bricks which we saw on the Brickrock press websites.
We will be sending a season to say
about that.
Those can only be sold through PodChop.biz.
This is a bunch of computer screens and L-Cars things.
Cool.
Little mini-ice-illinear chips on Lego pieces.
Those look really like you'd find them in a kit.
Yeah, and there's
like USPS priority mail. There's that special metal that the Mandalorian makes
all his helmets and shit out of. Cool. Yeah. You can do a mini-fig mail call. Yeah.
Man, Andrew this rules. Thank you so much. Thanks Andrew. We will definitely
forward the calendars on to Bill and Wendy. Or sure. I have all these gray walls that I need to put something on.
Do we get one of those calendars or are they just for Bill and Wendy?
No, there's four. There's one for everyone in the gang.
All right.
All right. This one is from Hoover in Pleasanton, California, it's just a card. It seems to be a commander-data-like person.
Perhaps with their dick in a box?
Looks that way.
It says, uh, hope you are holidays are fully functional in every way.
L-L-A-P and this is from CT Grey Toons at CT Grey Toons.
Oh yeah, long time friends.
Who uh, famously animated a bunch of our early bits.
Yeah, that's great.
Those still get a lot of play.
Those are really funny.
I love those.
I was like one of the great thrills of my life.
What I realized that my Star Trek podcast
had inspired an animation.
All right, this is a slightly bigger one.
This is from Misty in Las Vegas.
Alright, there's something that says,
do not cut this side.
Okay, that's like a claymore mine.
Am the thing the other way.
Dear Ben and Adam, thank you so much for your wonderful pod.
I started watching DS9 over the summer
and I was desperate for someone to share my enthusiasm with. I found TGG on a list of best
star-trick pods and that's in scare quotes. So where the hell was that? We aren't
usually on lists. Yeah and I've been binging you guys ever since. Once I caught up
with TGG I started on TGT. I'm not sure what I'm going to do when I get caught up
over there. I've hearing aids that are'm going to do when I get caught up over there.
I have hearing aids that are basically hidden Bluetooth speakers,
so I've been sneaking pod in while it's slow at work.
Or when I want to ignore my family when I'm at the grocery store.
Or, okay, maybe I have a problem.
Anyways, I was listening to the TGG episode about Voyager season 4 episode 1
when Adam said something that not only made me laugh,
it inspired me to design a cross stitch pattern.
And then, of course, I had to make the actual cross stitch.
Then, you have also inspired me to design cross stitch, but these take a while.
So maybe you'll get one in another six months or so.
Hey, thanks for picking me first.
Yeah.
Upon seeing the design, he who is my husband said, it it's great, but also now I'm kind of worried about you
I took that to me and I shouldn't keep it in the house
So now I've sent it to you the men who inspired it hang it on a wall
Maybe in a closet, maybe let it fall behind a desk or couch so that you find it when you next move and
Are briefly dramatized to realize it was there all or?
next move and are briefly traumatized to realize it was there all. Or, wrap it up and give it as a gag gift.
I'm sure your wives would find that hilarious.
Thanks for being great podsman, Misty.
PS, quick shout out to thedrunchmotor.com Discord, you are all the best.
Special thanks to random trek livestreams with VitaZ, they always show up right when I
need them the most. PPS, there is no glass in the frame because
cross stitch behind glass looks dumb in my opinion.
So probably don't hang this anywhere that it could get damp like a kitchen or bathroom.
Or Ben's house or my house.
You can document if it collects hairs or put glass in the frame if you really,
really want to.
PPS, I hope to catch you guys at the FOD's next time you're in Vegas,
I can't take anyone who is interested
in the best sushi restaurant that is not on the strip.
Oh, very interested in that.
Yeah.
I have a factor.
Wow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It does look better without the glass.
This says assimilate me daddy and it is a beautiful cross stitch and wow, that's going
to look great in your studio Adam.
Really will.
Yeah, it's going to be so nice for guests of the show to come in and see that.
I'm really looking forward to bringing this over so that you can hang it on your wall.
Two.
Hey, thanks very much for that thoughtfulness.
I can't wait to see what Ben's getting for his.
Alright, Adam.
That just about does it for opening up presents on this code 47.
What a fun session it was this time.
It really was.
We have some more packages in hand,
but we just don't have pictures of them yet.
We don't have the the Compromat yet for those.
And once we get it, we'll open those on a future episode.
Sure will.
Right here, live on videotape.
Yeah, but I'm gonna start pouring myself
from champagne and I think we should probably get into
today's episode of Star Trek colon Voyager Adam
You want to tell people what we're in for on the main pod sure will Ben Star Trek Voyager season five episode 14
Bliss
Reaver course unless you've got something a little bigger in your torpedo toots
Choose to you my friend. Oh, you're not dudes. I'm not turning around. Argh!
Cheers to you, my friend.
Oh, you're not open yet.
I gotta open up this bottle.
Ben, what are you drinking for the special
Tlaxian Champagne episode we have?
I'm drinking some actual champagne here.
It's Champagne Glamier.
I don't know much about it.
It sounded really fresh and clean. I bought it from a local
wine store here in LA called Vinovor, where they only stock wines made by women wine makers.
Hey, that's nice. French women specifically. Yeah, a best.
Uh-huh.
And I don't think I've ever bought a bottle of wine there
that I didn't think was really great, so.
I got a tight cork.
Ben, I stole a bottle of sparkling wine from my wife.
She belongs to a wine club that has delivered this.
Yeah, your wife has a real, like,
love-hate relationship with wine clubs because it seems like you guys enjoy I just delivered this. Yeah, your wife has a real love hate relationship
with wine clubs because it seems like you guys
enjoy what you get, but you get a lot.
God, I can't open this.
Oh, do you wanna go see if your wife can loosen it up for you?
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Damn, I usually do not have a hard time with this.
I'm gonna have to get some pliers or something.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I'm gonna go get some pliers, hold on.
Well, Adam is obtaining pliers.
I can let you in on a little secret.
I snuck over to his house and epoxyed the corkshot
on his wine.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
I'm hourly pale. All right, I've gone out to the tool shed. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Okay, we got it. We've got some purchase on this quark. Now...
And now I have opened the 2019 Sparkling Pino Manure.
Mmm.
Manure is not a word I would put on a food product that I was trying to sell.
Manure! I hate Benar!
It says manure.
You see, sparkling Pino manure.
Hmm, I guess it does.
See?
I got a nice bucket here, but I won't need it for long.
I think this is gonna go down fast.
Benar cold open follows a low-fi space guy.
Very familiar low- fee space guy.
Very familiar low fee space guy. Yeah, he goes all the way back into early TNG for us
and maybe Bill Tilley's first card he ever made.
He's yelling the balls.
So he gets into this nebula.
It looks like he's driving the space RV
from space balls into this thing.
The space balls.
He's heading toward a big brown space but hole
that looks very irritated.
Yeah, it does look like it may need a little dab
of some kind of analgesic or calming cream.
Sure, maybe a wipe would be nice. dab of some kind of analgesic or calming cream. Sure.
Maybe a wipe would be nice.
Mm, yeah.
Or maybe just a cross-fade.
Because this cold open is basically over before it starts.
Yeah, and we don't hear from this guy for a long, long time.
Yeah.
When we come back from theme, we are on the bridge
there talking about a wormhole and
Janeway is, you know, found out about one wormhole too many.
She is suspicious from jump.
A direct route to Earth's doorstep out of the blue.
What's wrong with this picture?
She's over it, W-slash-R-slash-T.
Who's?
Yeah, this space butth hole is a good surprise.
I'm just about every measure normally but hole stuff.
If it's a surprise, bad, real bad.
But this one's good.
Yeah.
This one is good, but like they don't believe it at first.
It's a it's like a, this is there's something up here.
And then I don't know.
I just I liked the, give me a fucking break
with a magic worm holder earth.
You know?
Yeah, chainway is immediately suspicious,
and I was like, well, you got a probe.
Why don't you do something with that?
Why don't we burn a probe on this?
We'll fire that probe.
There's coffee and what's really out there.
We don't find out about any of that until later,
because we cut over to the Delta
Flyer and that's where seven Naomi Wildman and Tom Paris are heading back from a
Geterium Hunt. Paris is that cool airline pilot who lets the kid up front in the cockpit.
Yeah. But unlike most airline pilots, he lets Naomi Wildman fly the plane. Yeah, you
want to, you want to hit some buttons? Yes, sir. It's great. We recently took a flight with DeRone and he got little
airline wings. I didn't know they still did that. That's sweet. Yeah. That's really sweet.
It was cool. Yeah, so Naomi Wildman gets to put the ship to Impulse. She's feeling like this was
kind of a shitty field trip overall because she didn't really get to do anything
They didn't find Duterium and there's a lot of you know reassuring her that you know
This was worthwhile because you learned a lot about how the ship works
Yeah, you got to push a button or two and then there's a like a conked out kiddo in the hallway on
Voyager Tom Parris is carrying Naomi Wildman at home. And while he and
Seven are walking her back to her quarters, there's some some crewman running through the halls.
Yeah. Yeah. And they kind of shrug it off as like, oh yeah, those crewmen. Well, they're always
late to their shift. Yeah. Not a big deal. But in retrospect, it feels like they're running because they're happy, right? Yeah. They were running because they were happy. Yeah. So they make a deal. Tom
Paris is going to catch those hands from Ensign Wildman when he explains why her daughter
is home late. Seven is going to catch up on gonna catch up on all the paperwork for the mission.
But when she arrives in the ass lab,
she finds a beehive of senior officer activity.
I'm not even drunk yet,
and I'm already slurring the word officer.
Occasionally, when I get drunk, I call them hersnerc.
Oh my God, they're her. Hahahaha. Oh my god.
They're Hersnark.
My fervorant officers.
Hahahaha.
Oh I would hate this.
If this were my cubicle, I mean this happened to me before when I had a square job.
I like roll around the corner, I'm back from lunch or something.
There's a bunch of people in my cubicle.
Yeah.
Get the fuck out. What are you doing in here?
Don't sit on my desk. That's a picture of my wife. Don't touch that
That's a picture of Ben's wife. Don't touch that
Hey, why do you have that in here? I mean, it's everyone basically
It's Janeway to about Kim and Chico teere in there and they've got this butt hole up on the screen
Yeah, they show the telemetry of the probe going right into it and Basically, it's Janeway Tuva, Kim and Chico Tehran there, and they've got this butthole up on the screen.
Yeah.
They show the telemetry of the probe going right into it,
and they're like, the readings are good.
Like, everything we have done to try and disabuse ourselves
of this butthole being too good to be true has failed.
Seven is ordinarily a stoic.
I don't think that's an unfair.
Did I completely fuck that up? Did I like triple negative myself into saying the opposite of what I meant?
No. What I mean to say is that this butthole seems too good to be true,
but none of the readings that they have done could verify that, so they believe it is in fact true.
Then, like every episode lately, we're being edited into coherence. So it's a lot of like back slapping and this is great.
We're going to head toward it, you know, reroute the ship or whatever.
Seven can't get on their level of optimism though.
And it's not just because she's like generally kind of a stoic person.
It's that no one could be this optimistic.
Right.
It's like, if you've ever been like not drinking
and show not to a party where everybody else
is already really drunk, it's like, ah,
like the vibe is not here for me, you know?
It's kind of like the depiction of Mormons
and the Book of Mormon.
Like it's just kind of an unbelievable amount of positivity here.
My name is Elder Price and I would like to share with you the most amazing book.
So, like, the next day, or something, Sevin is in Janeway's office, and she's like,
yeah, I'm just kind of sketched out by the whole thing.
There's, like, weird neutrino levels, and that seems super strange, and Janeway's got an answer for everything.
Yeah.
Turns out those faint signals we detected
were communicated from Starfleet.
Not just answers, like, super positive answers.
Yeah, and like, they've checked all the math on all these things
and they feel really, really good.
It's like that meeting that Jack Ryan takes
and clear and present danger where,
or like, it's not just a neutrino situation,
it's a good neutrino situation. It's not just a neutrino situation, it's a good neutrino situation.
It's not just a space but hole,
it's my best space but hole,
lifelong space but hole, friends or what we are.
Yeah.
You just give them nowhere to go.
Right.
I said that.
Of course, it's locked in.
What?
You have to be careful,
because I'm only going to see this once.
You know what? The Captain and Jicote have both received letters from home.
The captains received a number of them, one of which included word that Tom Mervins is
no longer engaged to be married.
So the two good to be true-ness at this point is a little overwhelming because like Chicoetay
is holding a pencil in this scene and it goes unsnapped.
The news is great. Tom has broken it off with that highlight he was engaged to.
And the family dog he was going to euthanize before beginning that relationship. He's decided not to.
It's weird dog cancer is in remission.
He said he wanted to fresh start.
But how is that the dog's fault?
Seven walks down to her room and tries to fire up the captain's logs.
And the ship is like, you can't, you can't read the captain's stuff.
And she goes open and like takes a panel off of a wall, pushes one thing and over.
It is watching Captain Janeway go from the most skeptical
to the least skeptical over the course of three logs.
We should be back in the alpha quadrant in the matter of days.
I thought it was interesting what this moment suggested, right?
Because Janeway starts so negative and pivot so quickly into the positive, you
can't help but feel like something kind of supernatural has happened.
Yeah, and it's frustrating because it's a log where you can't see the base of her neck
at all.
Yeah, no.
So you don't know what's like influencing the way she thinks.
Yeah.
I do know.
So Tevin is still super perturbed and I feel like the next few scenes are sort of about her
going around looking for allies in this situation.
And her first stop is with Tom Paris
after getting like bumped into by Nielix in the hallway.
And he's got a letter for her from like a member
of the Hansen clan.
Bop!
Bop-bop-du-wop!
Bid-bop-bop-du-wop!
There a very credible band that has done a lot more than that one thing that they're very
famous for, Adam.
All right.
We have their Christmas album.
Really?
In our house, they did a really fun album of Christmas music that we
play during the holidays every year. That's delightful. I'll have to keep my eyes
peeled for their Hanukkah album. Yeah. Oh, are you taking a broad right now? I'm
having a broad right now. I want to remind you. I am really struggling with the
bubbles of this sparkling wine. I'm trying to drink as fast as I can and the
bubbles are just going all up my nose. Maybe trying to drink as fast as I can. And the bubbles are just going
all up my nose. Maybe trying to drink as fast as you can is a bad idea.
Are you saying, hold on, doc, are you saying I should try to enjoy the things that are good?
Tom Paris not prepared to align himself with seven over this. Now it's like I got a letter from from my admiral daddy and he thinks I'm great.
He said if I want to play with toy boats when I come home, he'll let me.
And also he lives me now.
He approves of my life.
This is the tip over point, right? Like everyone in the mess hall is as bubbly as the champagne
we're drinking. Like you see the wide shot of the mess hall and people are like fist pumping
all over the place. Yeah. Yeah. It's like double fist pumping the whole time.
Paris is get your own sandwich happy.
He's like in the back with the cold cuts and stuff.
See that read to me like a cry for help.
I was like, don't do it, Paris.
Don't eat a sandwich.
There's so many better foods in the world.
I wish one of the consequences of this episode
was that when it was over, they're like, yikes.
We really ate all of the food and consumed a lot of resources
thinking that we wouldn't have to worry about it in a day. And now we're really struggling.
We were already pretty low on deuterium at the beginning of the this situation.
In both the deuterium and the cold cuts department, really low.
the museum and the cold cuts department. Really low.
So up on the bridge, they get an image of Earth up on the screen.
And it's a little like Stanicking, you know,
they're getting it through the view screen.
Yeah, it's the blurry porn channel of Earth is what it is.
You just barely make it out, but it's enough.
Paris does that thing where he jumps over the console,
like both feet at the same time.
And he's like, I know how to fix this.
And he goes and messes with some of those cables
behind the screen.
And it clears up a lot better.
If you blink really fast, you can kind of make it out.
Seven is watching this, and she is still like,
the person at the party who is not prepared
to rage.
Yeah.
Well, she's also checked in with like the EMH who was like, yeah, I haven't heard anything
about this wormhole situation, but I guess I'll like surreptitiously look for anything
weird in like my, you know, checkups of people over the next couple of days.
Right.
Even though everyone has had that weird photograph taken of them,
not too long ago, he did all those.
Well, he has that as a baseline to compare this to.
It had to be scary to get this recheck message from the doc, right?
Yeah.
I thought everything was fine.
You want to see me again?
Yeah.
What's the bad news, doc?
And we're about to go home.
Like, can't we just wait until we go home? It's right there everyone around me has this great news. You're gonna give me an awful diagnosis
God damn it. Am I too bad for my home?
Seven remains extremely sus she walks off the bridge
She's like scanning the wormhole.
She's super sussed about how mid she finds the news
about this wormhole.
This is turning into a Gen Z podcast.
Only in how interested they are in the space but hole.
Yeah, well, she finds maybe a polyp or a lesion,
something in the space butthole
that might be cause for concern.
You gotta hail that thing, right?
Seems like a ship maybe,
but the computer won't cop to that,
but she blows in a call to this thing
and low and behold, this guy answers.
And he says, there is no electronic frontier
in this space but hole.
There is no stockade.
The only escape is on the surface.
And she's like, oh, what do you mean?
And he's like, anyway, is it's stricking you?
It's stricking you.
He knows exactly what you want.
Two Vock walks in right after this.
And he is not trying to hear about this
whatever that seven might have seen.
Yeah, this is like, you know, in middle school,
you, you know, go over to some kid's house.
And he's like, I found porn on like over the air television.
We don't even have cable.
And I found a dirty channel.
And you're like, prove it. And he's like, no, and he's like working the, working the air television. We don't even have cable and I found a dirty channel. You're like, prove it.
And he's like, no, and he's like working the,
working the rabbit ears.
Everyone has letters from like a partner back home,
except for seven.
And this is her opportunity to be like, yeah.
My Canadian boyfriend is out in, in that space but hole.
I just talked to him.
He's happy to see me.
Yeah. He has some to see me. Yeah.
He has some warnings about what's going on here.
I met him because he went to a different school
for a semester.
You don't know him.
Toovac, but like the one person you'd think
would be able to fight off whatever this is.
Whatever this is that we don't know about yet.
Seven's like, look man, like you're a logic person.
You gotta be on the side of being a little bit suspicious
about this whole thing, right?
Not only is Tuvac not into pursuing a logical angle,
he shuts down the ass lab and tells her to get the fuck out.
Access to the ass lab is restricted until further notice.
I loved this scene because no mention is made of that,
no appeal to his logic.
Yeah.
It's all subtext and it's like,
it's a scene that kind of relies on you to know these characters
and what they're about and like what their natural alignments are
and what their natural conflicts are.
It just lets that play out naturally and I thought it was so strong.
How terrifying is Tim Russ in this moment, though?
He's the scariest person on the ship to me in this moment.
Yeah, he really freaks me out.
Back in the Alcove, that's basically where Seven's been banished to.
She hears a clunking across the room, and the clunking is Naomi Wildman.
She's hiding behind a crate.
And she does not like how happy everyone is.
They're all at the same strange even mom.
Not into it. Naomi Wildman seems immune to whatever is going on
or at least super desperate and you can tell
because she's carrying that flottertal with her.
Yep.
Terrifying.
I think that the thing that's scariest about it is that it's head is the same size as
her head, but its body is like, you know, an eighth the size of her body.
Is the flutter doll like those dolls that are made to wet themselves realistically?
And liquid just drains out of the flatters fingers.
Yeah.
Parents hate this toy.
So we're gonna make one that shits itself as well.
Objection noted, we'll do this without you.
Do it.
Do it.
Objection noted, we'll do this without you.
Do it.
Do it.
Do it.
Do it.
Seven is like, fuck, like just hide here.
It's obviously super creepy, whatever's going on.
I'm gonna get to the bottom of it.
You don't need to worry about it.
You're a little kid.
So she goes back to Six Bay to try and talk to the doctor
to see what he's found out.
But damn it, the doctor had been deactivated.
And it's Paris who's there.
And this is such an interesting choice by the show, right?
Because the question hanging in the air
in that scene between Seven and Naomi Wildman is like,
well, if they're not affected by whatever this is,
then they were just together with Paris.
I would have also assumed that Paris would be
unaffected too.
Right. But when Seven goes to Six Bay
and Paris is clearly afflicted with whatever this is,
he's full pod person at this point.
I'm at a total loss for what's going on here.
The energy is so creepy.
They don't do much with the music or the,
it's just a bunch of smiles and hats on the back.
This is what it feels like to be me,
freshly moved to LA from Seattle.
This is how paranoid I was during every interaction.
I couldn't understand it. Why are people being nice and friendly? What's it about? Yeah. Why are people
excited about their future prospects? It's weird. Yeah. The next scene like doubles down on this, because Chicoetay is like grinning and being like super friendly
as he like marches seven off to be put into like suspended
animation because they're like some story about,
oh, your implants will react badly.
Oh, it's like, there's like a Borg.
Yeah.
The Borg will be able to pick us up in the wormhole
as we go through because of your implants or something.
How conspicuous were those dust busters though? Like, it does not seem like a request when you're
wearing a dust buster. Yeah, just, hey, like, we all got armed and came down to see you. No
particular reason. I think visually they have to be there to double down on how threatening it's got a feel to be seven.
Well, also like deck five is an open carry deck.
All right. Yeah.
But also there's like that that power of like three dudes telling a woman to do
something and they've got weapons that is like especially creepy.
Yeah. You don't like it.
It's not good. He like He makes resistance as few tile jokes
as they walk around with her.
Hey, that's not your word, Chico Te.
Yeah.
My culture is not your costume, Chico Te.
My culture is not your quip.
My dolphin is not your jewelry.
This was peak terror for me, because if they manage to shut her off, what chance does she
have?
It's all over.
Yeah.
And we cut away from this.
Like, we go, we go seven eyes to commercial and then we're back on the bridge and it's a
bunch of like happy creepos looking at the wormhole out the view screen, talking about
how great this is about to be. Like Harry Kim is
listing off all the bad aliens they've run into. Isn't that totally effective at making
you feel upset and out of balance? Like scene to scene we're going from really happy crew people that we know like and care about and one that is terrified.
Yeah, and they get her down to her regeneration station and she pulls a fast
woman on them. She erects a force field, a board field, if you will.
I thought for a second you'd make me spit take but no not even close.
Not even close. Well, absolutely savage. We were out the other night with our friend and
agent and his wife and I made a a strained pun if you will. Uh-huh. I think it was, they had gone to an Izakaya restaurant in Ohai,
and I asked if it was called Izohaya,
or something like that.
Yeah.
And our friend and agent's wife turned to me
and said, that's not funny.
After he had said it was funny.
Yeah.
Split household there.
At the group fell along gender lines.
The wives were all furious at me for even trying.
I know exactly what that pain is like.
Just like, I just want the interaction to be fun.
You had my axe in that moment.
I defended your comedy honor.
Yeah, you did, but it's like, what's wrong with making a joke?
What is wrong with adding a little levity,
a little word play to the banter?
Hey, how tough do you think our friend and agent's night was after that, after they went home?
Can't believe you thought that was funny.
Then why are you still laughing, Todd? I don't know, Marco.
Our friend and agent's wife is like one of the sweetest, kindest people I know, and I think that that made it hurt
all the harder.
You know what's funny is how much she resents that description.
She's like, I am a normal person with moods.
Yeah.
The great news for us is that our wives are becoming
great friends with her, so we're never going to get dropped
by the creative artist's agency.
Yeah.
We're becoming deeply entangled
in both personal and professional relationships.
Yeah.
It's big fun.
Which means this scandal is going to be
especially painful when it comes.
This has never gone badly before.
This kind of thing.
So Seven has to take over the ship now.
She gets Naomi Wildman to like,
Naomi Wildman is out hacking Harry Kim in this year.
I mean, that's the promise of a Seven of Nineness
that she's eventually gonna data you.
Right.
And that's what happens here.
Yeah, Seven of Nine's site-to-site transports to engineering.
And she chaos everybody that's on engineering shift
with her giant phaser rifle
and puts up a force field before Tuva can stop her.
But Janeway is like, let's give her a little of her own medicine
and sends a herrogen electrical blast
through the computer system to knock seven out.
I love this.
Seven's going into Stasis
with a shoe likes it or not.
Let me know if our friend gives us any more trouble.
There's so much fun happening in such a short amount
of time here.
It's great.
Very soft landing for Seven of Nine,
though, for being shocked with the war of lightning.
Yeah.
She doesn't do that thing where she bounces off
a couple of walls.
She very, very slowly goes to the floor.
Let the body slowly go to the floor.
So with seven of nine taken out and no further questions from the bridge about like,
hey, should we like maybe try and drop the force field and attend to the injured down there or anything?
No way.
They head into the wormhole.
And when we see the ship from the exterior, it looks like a mouth closing around the ship.
It's very fleshy and gross.
Yeah, in great contrast to what we saw earlier, which was like a bright, whitish, bluish, bleached, almost kind of space but hold.
This is not that.
Once we get inside, we realize just how thorough
the pre-shower was.
This is Harry, nicotine stain, truck stop ass but hold.
Yeah.
Yeah. It is a rocky ass ride too, and you can tell because the Janeway hair has gone full volume.
Did you notice this?
It's maybe as big as I've ever seen it.
She's got the biggest hair.
When we come back from commercial, we're getting like dream sequence, slow mo of like,
Nelix glad handing with admirals and-
How sad is it that that's his dream?
Like all of these dream sequences, and that's his?
And they all lovely, all the roots do.
Oh, Nelix, give me a second helping,
my bowl is almost empty.
I hope you brought seeds
because this doesn't grow in the alpha quadrant and we all think it's delicious.
Oh, the best part is that I rarely have to shit afterwards. I can eat bowl after bowl. Very solid poops!
Two of Hock runs into his wife in the hallway and like a really heavy bass lick
starts playing. I mean they finger bang right there in the hallway.
That's that's that's it nasty. Yeah. Yeah. I mean that got
Savak pregnant in the movies. It's true. The bodies are all strewn around the
ship though. These are dream sequences. They're all passed out and Naomi Wildman
is the only one that isn't. You know what that means, Ben?
Ice cream party!
She goes down to the mess hall and she walks up to the soft serve machine and holy shit. It is like she makes a bucket of soft serve.
It's like one of those scenes from like an A.D.s film where a kid just does exactly what a kid of soft serve. It's like one of those scenes from an 80s film
where a kid just does exactly what a kid wants to do.
But there's a grisly element to it
because she keeps dragging new crew people over
to scan their fingerprint, to use their replicator ration.
So it's got this kind of like jubilant
kids letting loose energy,
but all this kind of like horror movie
dragging bodies around energy at the same time.
Very true.
Yeah, it's big fun.
And finally, like she just eats herself sick
off of the soft serve.
Well, she got a Ziggy Piggy.
The single greatest ice cream spectacle known to man.
It usually takes three or four people
to defeat the Ziggy Piggy,
but Naomi Wildman did it by herself.
Yeah.
Well, everybody else was unconscious.
Right.
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What's not?
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I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Jesse Thorne. On Jordan Jesse Go, we make pure, delightful nonsense.
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We were open awesome guests, and bring them down to our level.
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And then after the ice cream party, she waddles over to engineering, just sick, just sick to her stomach, where she finds seven on the ground and she wakes her up by kind of
making a racket at the little barrier.
Yeah, she's banging her little fists
against the force field.
The sound is really cool here
because the bangers that they hear
after going in the space,
but hold, they really sound like indigestion,
like big indigestion.
Yeah, like super bassy tummy gurgles.
Yeah.
Mixed with lightning.
And seven tries to send Naomi away,
but like the viewer is, we're kind of stuck with her.
Yeah, Naomi makes the two heads
are better than one board philosophy pitch,
which is sort of like,
like if you compare needs of the many outweigh
the needs of the few to two heads are better than one
You see why the Federation bests the board at every encounter pretty much together
They find knee licks out in a corridor and Naomi really wants to stay in like care for him and seven's like
Leave him. He's done for yeah leaving knee licks behind is another
Core tenant of board philosophy. Yeah, we might have to eat him later.
So seven promises that they're gonna come back for him.
And on their walk to the Aslab,
they see out the window that it is just like
the awful brown of the space
about hold it there in.
It is a total creep show outside.
Yeah.
We don't often see a corridor with windows.
I feel like this is one of the first times we've seen that. Yeah. Yeah. And they had to do it on the Katie Kouric episode.
I'm a pretty little colon. It's so inspiring though, right? Especially at the very end of the
episode where we're instead of credits. It's like where you can get colonoscopy. Yeah. I was
bus boy at a restaurant that Katie quarricated and the night before no
This was probably after all that yeah, she seemed just so nice. She seemed really pleasant. The rep is that she's the greatest
I'll stay up there a little longer
So they go down to the ass land
They are going to look for the vessel. Hey, how you're doing on champagne by the...
I am down to the label.
Yeah, I'm a little past the label.
Which I think is good, but these bulbs are such an impediment.
Yeah.
I feel like this wine would be done if it were still.
And I keep pouring more out so the bulbs kind of dissipate.
Yeah.
Like I'm not finishing a glass.
I'm trying to get these bubbles out of the way.
Yeah.
Is it a, it's not a true champagne. It's a Napa.
It is a Napa sparkling wine. But then it's method traditional.
It's method traditional. It is not a war crime.
Method traditional. It would be a war crime if they called it champagne.
Right. Yeah, I mean, the work crime
was taking the cork out with pliers.
You don't have a saber lying around your office?
I don't.
I don't have a saber and I don't have a letter opener.
I'm scared of that.
Do you want the letter opener?
No.
You can have a letter.
You need it.
That's a home defense letter opener It says glorious amateurs
1942 to 1945. Oh boy
glorious amateurs is one of them
Big naturals is the other one that got sent right?
And then in really small lettering it says these teens are getting what they deserve.
That's kind of troubling.
Is big naturals even a real magazine?
For some reason that's so lodged in my mind
as a name of like a very unpopular,
especially skeevy, porno magazine
that you could get like in the airport.
Back when you could get porn in the airport,
which I feel like was a thing that people used to do
for some reason.
I don't know if this is weird,
but I primarily associate the phrase big naturals
with a Sarah Silverman joke about big naturals.
Oh, what's the joke?
I don't even remember the joke.
I just remember that phrase being like really tremendous.
You know, I mean, look, I know my assets, I've got some, you're lovely.
I've got some big naturals.
So back in the Aslab 7 scans where they are, where the ship is, and it becomes clear
that they're inside a space whale butthole.
And 7 tries to find the ship from before,
that one dude, the Canadian boyfriend
she was talking to before.
And that guy's ship is in really bad shape.
She wants to help, but this guy cannot believe her
because help constitutes a sort of thing
he doesn't want to fall for.
Yeah.
He's super paranoid.
He's super paranoid about ever getting the thing he wants.
And this will,
like us, this we will come to understand more,
but he is finally persuaded to be beamed over by seven of nine.
And when he sees that a Borg and a child
have come to his rescue, he's like,
okay, this is not like...
That's no one's fantasy.
Yeah.
You gotta be a real sick fuck to have that be your fantasy
and your time of need.
This is Anika Hansen Adam, not Chris Hansen.
Oh shit. Wouldn't that be crazy if they were related?
Hey, it's my long lost niece. Why don't you take a seat over there?
Thank you for rescuing me from my ship. I brought a couple of Mike's hard
lemonade and a pizza.
Here's the thing about that that's so weird.
Like, why would pizza be a viable fooling around food?
No matter what the age,
every single person on that, like just arrest him for that, you know.
Let's see if any of this sounds familiar.
Why you enjoy your pizza.
So this guy finally realizes that, yeah, no one's fantasy is this and he chooses to live.
So he gets beamed over to the Voyager directly to the Aslab where he kind of wistfully describes
all the good things that he's been teased about since being in this space but hole and
he has been hunting this thing.
Yeah. For years and years, and his latest idea was to be a thing that this space about whole
absorbed that would allow him to destroy it from the inside.
Like maybe his ship was going to be full of weapons that could blow this thing up from
inside it, but it was a trick too.
Like this thing, this thing tricks him at every turn.
Yeah.
I was flying directly into his digestion chamber.
You know, he thought he was getting a PJ
and he was fucking it in the ass.
I mean, how confused do you have to be?
Yeah.
That's a powerful, the psionic abilities
of this creature are.
Yeah.
He is a real A-hab type. He rises!
And he has made it his life's goal to destroy this thing.
You know what his life's goal should be
is to finish the eye makeup around the loaf mask
that he's wearing.
Yeah, he's got some...
He's got kind of an unfinished quality to him, doesn't he?
Is that your loaf or is that scars?
I've never met a species of your kind.
Yeah. What does he call it like a cup, tea cup plant? doesn't it? Is that your loaf or is that scars? I've never met a species of your kinds.
Yeah. What does he call it like a cup teacup plant? Who Naomi Wildman compares it to a plant that like eats insects? Oh yeah, that that releases pheromones to capture the insects. Yeah.
Yeah. What's the kind of plant? Pinch of blood? This guy is so patient with the idea of a Naomi Wildman in his scenes.
He's like, oh yes.
Great comparison.
Metaphore!
Yeah, he would have gone along with the Tamarians from Jump.
Yeah.
I'll put the scene over here. I'm gonna see you again. I'm gonna see you again. I'm gonna see you again.
I'm gonna see you again.
One of the experiments they run right away is like, look, we have a whole crew here and
they're just asleep.
If we could wake them up, we could marshal their effort in an attempt to get out of this
thing and they start with BLT.
She's up in the biobed.
They stick some clip show devices on her face and they wake her up.
And when BLT comes to, she is tripping balls.
She's tripping the balls, Ben.
Yeah, because Katai has been like,
I've tried this on several occasions
and it doesn't work and the EMH is like,
shut up.
I know what I'm doing.
And then she comes to and she's like,
oh my God, it's all of the make-wis.
Make-wis?
Tom Riker.
And Tom Riker again.
And he wants to make out with me.
Oh yeah.
And Calvin Hudson.
And Eddington, they're all, they wanna do like a scene,
like a group sex thing.
Oh, and I'm so into it too.
Blanna, you're still on Voyager, you're hallucinating.
And there's SESCA, and she wants to do it too, and she's like six months pregnant.
Oh, and that's fine. Everyone has their own kinks.
And that's mine.
Sounds great.
Four dudes, two of whom are the same dude, and one month pregnant, Cardassian dressed as a pejorin.
That's my thing.
That's why I see him sort of indifferent
to Tom Perez most of the time.
Cause Tom Perez is one man
and he's not extreme enough for me
and Katai and the doctor like,
we need to put her back out.
Yeah, get the thing off her, get the thing off.
So they put her back asleep as soon as possible, and it becomes very clear that they are not going to get any help from anyone else.
So the team now is seven, Katai, the doctor, and Naomi.
And they are mostly working from the med bay right now.
And there's like a kind of dark night of the soul
with Katai and the doctor while Naomi sleeps.
And another banger wakes up Naomi.
She's like, hey, how's it going?
Are we there yet?
And oh, you look bad, man, what happened?
I just, the bubs get you.
Yeah, I'm just trying, I'm trying to burp quietly.
Oh, okay.
I'm full of the gases.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's unfair to our editor.
Yeah.
To let that fly on, Mike, we should get those,
well, how do you get a button like,
do you hear about people talking about their cough button
on podcast?
I've got a stream deck here with a bunch of buttons.
There should be a mute button on here. That's possible. What's a stream deck?
It's well back when we were streaming. It's a useful tool for doing transitions and stuff. Oh
Didn't catch that one. Why do you have that? I was the one working all the streams. I know. I had some optimism about that
Continuing but it was unfounded.
I wasn't the one that stopped it.
I know, it was me, I thought it was bad.
Anyways.
I get a letter from the Alpha Quadrant and it says,
you never have to stream anymore.
Welcome home.
That was just what you wanted.
Katai is looking at the computer and he's like,
I found something really tremendous.
It's this torpedo and they're like,
yeah, we don't have any more of those.
That's not going to be an option.
We shot him off.
The doctor's like, yeah,
and we aren't really in the business of killing things,
even things that try to eat us.
So they come up with a very TNG galaxy's child plan.
Mm-hmm.
Got to serve the milk. Got to. So they come up with a very TNG galaxy's child plan.
Got a sour of the milk.
Got to.
Why don't we think of this from a nursing whale's perspective?
This is a space baby, right?
I liked how Katai sort of reads like the Shaw character
in Jaws, but the doctor is like not trying
to richer Drifus around with him at all.
He's like, shut up, man.
Like I don't wanna show you my scars.
Like you suck, I don't like you.
I'm trying to find a bigger boat.
In the transport room,
they're ready to send this guy back.
And I like the past that he makes the doc.
He's like, you know, I could use someone like you
impervious to the flirtation of this thing. You're all business doc. He's like, you know, I could use someone like you impervious to the flirtation of this thing.
You're all business, Doc. And the doc's like, I'm a one-ship doctor. Yeah.
Doc Minominus.
He says, do not call me Ishmael. Yeah. And he beams that guy right back over to his ship. They do this thing
where they like vent the plasma out of the Nacells and Katai shoots it. It's kind of
a covert starburst situation, isn't it? I guess it is. Yeah. It's a great looking explosion.
Yeah. Too bad Paris isn't awake to see it. Paris is having his face set on by his admiral dad.
That's his fantasy. Yeah. All the fantasies are horny. Jesus. That goes beyond horny. Like deviant horny. Yeah. Like a search Yep. So they do this explosion and seven's like, great, we're out, we're done.
And Katai is like, you're not done, it's tricking you.
You got what you wanted and you should be extremely suspicious of that.
And it really takes Katai and the doctor both talking really directly to her about how deeply she has been deceived because she
used to be impervious to the things that this entity does.
She's pervious now.
She's suddenly pervious.
And what's going on here is pretty pervious, isn't it?
It's true, Ben. I mean, it's consistent with the idea that Seven's biggest dream would just be to get
out of this situation.
It's not to go home.
It's not for an admiral to sit on her face.
It's to leave this space but hole.
And that she thinks she has is kind of a warning that maybe she hasn't.
Yeah.
So they try another anti-matter burst.
That one works and they actually get out of there.
Seven pilots them out of range.
They've moved all the controls down to engineering.
So she's got everything she needs right there.
She offers to help Katai with his ship.
He doesn't want any help.
He's a very self-sufficient man.
He's a self-sufficient man.
Yeah, wonder if aliens that live in space
are few and far between.
Is this thing related to Tin Man?
Oh, God, it be.
Is Katai related to Tin Man?
He's got the same texture.
Yeah, he sure does.
Everybody suddenly is like waking up on the bridge
and everything and Janeway is like,
oh, I'm a hero, it's so big, what the fuck?
What happened?
Are we home?
What's our location?
I love Seven's take here.
She's like, ask the doc, I'm going to bed.
As if that's okay here.
Yeah, yeah.
Don't you need answers immediately?
I think you do.
You would think that people that were this excited
would need immediate answers, but we kind of smash cut
to a captain's log that's like, yeah, we left morning wise
around the creature to let other ships know not to get sucked into it.
It occurred to me that like they didn't want to kill this thing, but if they left warning Bois to prevent it from capturing the thing it eats,
that is sort of tantamount to killing it. Shhh, great call.
I mean, you gotta drop the warning, Boaz.
You just have to.
You do.
But it does mean death for this space but hold.
A slow, painful death,
unlike the one they were gonna do.
So why didn't they just murder it
while they were up inside it?
Is the question, right?
That would have been a mercy killing.
Yeah, just mercy kill the thing, you know?
Yeah, it's trying to eat you.
Yeah.
This episode deprived us of Janeway threatening to blow up
the ship well inside it.
Yeah.
That made me sad, right?
She was asleep.
Yeah.
You know, instead of whispering, she was just like
mumbling in her sleep like, I'm going to take this
brule and drop it on the car.
I'm going to this brule and drop it on the car.
That's nice.
My fantasy is a sturdy hug from Tom at it again a habit a habit it
getting ready for another run at killing the beast a habit all episodes about
a giant creature eating a smaller thing are bastards and so it stands for. Did you like this episode, Adam?
I love that final scene of the hunch goes on.
Katai goes back in.
Hell yeah, Katai. Get out in there there. Those kind of my favorite part of the episode
Yeah, is that he lives to fight another day and he's been fighting this thing for 40 years. What a great character
The episode itself like I'm surprised it took so long to get to
Space Moby Dick, you know, or Space Job.
Or whatever.
Yeah.
There are myrhym texts about the big things
wallowing up the narrator of the story, right?
You know.
Do you mean Jonah?
Yeah.
What did I say, Job?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Jonah.
Yeah.
That's what I mean. Space lots wife, you know.
And I feel it.
And I think it was done well here.
It was a fun episode, especially one to drink a lot of the pubs for.
Yeah, cheers buddy.
I'm, this is my final glass of the pubs.
Mine too.
Mine is fairly full, but it is full of the last.
The glass that you have is if you can picture a bottle of red wine with the dimple in the
bottom, and then they've cut it off about a third of the way up the bottle and made a drinking
glass out of that. I believe they call it the punt.
The punt? Is the thing in the bottom? Yeah.
That thing?
Uh-huh.
Hmm, why is it called the punt?
Does it look like you kicked the bottle?
Maybe.
Yeah.
Maybe so.
Did you like the episode?
I really liked the episode.
I thought that the acting in this episode
was kind of superlative.
Like the dude that plays Katai is such a fun star trek
that guy,
but he's like doing something very different
in this episode, like talking to the screen a bunch
and yelling and just being like, I don't know.
He's just fucking rules.
He's such a fucking great character actor.
W. Morgan Shepard played one, two, three, four,
five characters in Star Trek.
And just owns them.
Yeah.
Every time he's so much fun.
Yeah, absolutely rules.
I thought this episode was great.
You know, like it's, it's a kind of plot device that I feel like they've used
in Voyager even like the Nebula wants to eat us, or the Nebula is an entity, was like,
I feel like we were like getting sick of those
in season one of Voyager, but I thought this was a really
original and good take on that,
and it's been a long enough time
since they've done one of those that.
And the reason why it was like the variable
of the like all your dreams coming true part. Like what a fun spin
on it. What a fun spin when when everyone's rendered unconscious. Like it's it's not just
stuck in a in a whale. It's the way you're stuck. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. The way I'm stuck is on
the Friends of Disodo who send us priority one message is Adam, do you want to check out the priority one in box?
Oh yeah, I've been pulled in to the mouth of the P1's bin.
Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel.
Need a supplement on it.
A supplement on it?
A supplement.
A supplement.
Yeah, it's extra.
But the interest alone could be enough to buy this ship.
Yeah, it's extra. But the interest alone could be enough to buy this ship!
Our first P1 is of a promotional nature.
It goes like this.
You're already a little bit embarrassed to be a Star Trek fan,
but what my theory presupposes is,
you're also a bit embarrassed to be a tabletop RPG nerd?
That's why your Dustbuster Club needs
Gabriel Pickard's encounter maps.
Map of... Anybody can't hit! Affirmative. That's why your Dustbuster Club needs Gabriel Pickard's encounter maps.
Map of anybody can't help it!
Affirmative.
Star Trek Caves to explore?
Yup.
A fight inside a Tin Man?
Tin Man.
I'll make it so.
Just search the Roll20.com marketplace or drivethroughRPG.com for Gabriel Pickard. That's PICK ARD of the entrepreneur
entrepreneur. Oh boy. I'm gonna assume that's a typo. PICK ARD of the entrepreneur, maker
of all RPG maps everywhere.
Gabriel Pickard, boy, probably thought they were getting
a sober read of their promotional message.
I'm sorry, Gabriel Pickard.
The problem is that you share a last name
with one John Luck Pickard.
Right.
Gabriel Pickard on roll20.com or drive through rpg.com.
It needs to make some sales this month, people.
Like go get over there.
It's some cool maps.
You know, like Dungeon Master and making his own maps,
doing a bad job.
Oh, oh boy.
These maps suck.
I mean, and Gabriel Pickard's gonna get
the greatest gen bump here, so. Because it's gonna get the greatest Gen Bump here.
So...
Because it's just like, oh yeah, we went down a hallway and then there's like...
One way we could go or a different way we could go. Great, cool.
It sounds like you're playing a real piece of shit, Dungeons Dragons game.
I already won this, yeah.
Doesn't sound fun. Doesn't sound like what Gabriel Pickard would do.
He'd give you three options.
He'd make you fight inside a Tin Man, which is basically like an empty, fleshy hallway.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that there's a, there's like a manhole cover that you can lift up somewhere
in water deep. Yeah. And get inside a Tin Man. Oh yeah. You know.
and get inside a tin man. Oh yeah.
You know?
Yep.
Happy to come.
I already won this.
Benard, next briarity win message is from Tior.
It is to Temu, Kaelian, Zala, Latha, and Kyle.
Message goes like this.
Happy New Year to the best crew a cat could ask for.
Mm-hmm.
You made 2022 brighter.
And I can already tell 2023 will be the same and
Then in parentheses home improvement bit
What we don't okay. Yeah, let's do a home improvement bit
We got a binfurred
Spread sheet document here. You know what that means? More columns.
And then we got our neighbor, like, you can only see half this face. just went goth for some reason I cannot wait for Teron's goth phase yeah but
he's gonna scary I bet hmm all right when you're going to run a ST
adventure's game be sure you have a professional like Kyle on board I think they
want you to do the the Boston accent, and these people pay good money for it.
When you get to run an ST Adventures game,
be sure to have a professional like Kyle on board.
He's a Measure Twice cut one sort of fella.
So you know, his dotless, whatever fail inspection.
Wow.
For his drunk as I was, that did not seem like a bad
this old house.
I thought you stuck the landing on that. That was good.
Ooh. Feels good.
Dude, I wonder if Gabriel Pickard could sell a map to your or Kyler's, somebody in that...
This is an incestuous priority one message, is what it is.
Who's the DM in this group?
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
But like, if their party wants to do a raid on a tin man, Who's the DM in this group? Yeah. You know? Yeah.
But like, if their party wants to do a raid on a 10 man, they know who to contact.
Who's the dumb DM and who's the sub DM?
Hmm.
Follow up with us.
I'd like to hear if they got together.
Our final P1 is from Jordan Last Name with help.
It's to Ben and Adam.
Goes like this.
Bad bit moments is my favorite bit.
So I wanted to share mine.
I was applying for a job
and on my first phone interview with the recruiter,
he asked, what makes you interested in applying?
I said, I'm here to talk about
your car's extended warranty.
There was a long pause, and he finally said,
okay, I moved on.
I'm my now boss, founded hilarious. There was a long pause and he finally said, okay, I moved on.
Am I now boss founded hilarious?
That rules.
God, I love that.
That's a job interview is such a great place to do a bit.
Because if they can't get on your level,
yeah, yeah, it's not the job for you.
You know, you hear this all the time from actors
that the part that they didn't want
and didn't think they would even get
or they were like down on their luck
and just like had completely given up
on ever having hope for a thing.
They go in and just fucking destroy a fire
the audition.
They're just free and loose.
Yeah, I have nothing to lose.
Here's what I think.
I'm not desperate for this is the energy
that is for some reason what they're looking for.
I mean, that's the vibe that you should have
in a lot of social interactions.
Bits on recruiters is something we encourage.
I would like to hear more about them. That was a very enjoyable P1.
Yeah, if a if a recruiter ever reached out to either of us ever again, I think that we would have
a lot of them, but that will never happen. I don't know, according to LinkedIn, I've missed a lot of
messages. Hmm. And is that the kind of premise walk we need to start taking for the show like applying for
Director of video production gigs at media companies. Oh, I love that idea of being so free to just apply for
Video production jobs to just like do bits on them
I think we can make the world a better place if we free up the hiring managers for those jobs.
I do too. I really do.
Bringing chaos to the lives of the recruiters.
Yep, that's us.
Well, this has been a great P1 segment if you would like to, you know,
try for some synergy like we had something about our
tabletop RPG on the same episode as a professional RPG map designer, you know, go for it, man. Yeah. Or lady or NB?
Maybe someday I'll be invited to play an RPG. I look forward to it.
Yeah, well, you know, you have a monthly poker game with like Hollywood script writers
that get nominated for Oscars and shit and I've never gotten an invite to that.
So we'll see.
I've got that and I've got a house that fills with poison gas routinely.
So I get it.
It's maximumfund.org slash jumbo-tron if you would like to get involved.
Now a thousand parts per million in the CO2 department, Ben.
Hell yeah.
Did you find yourself a drunk Shimoda?
Aside from myself, how can I not give it to Katai?
Katai is having the most fun in this episode.
Katai wants to be here uniquely.
Do you think Katai is often mistaken for...
Takai, the Klingon warrior?
At least he's not mistaken for it to K.
No one did whatever to confuse him for me.
Not enough letter.
Ben, my drunk Shimoda is gonna be Naomi Wildman.
Wow.
For that scene where seven teachers are,
she's like, look, Naomi,
when this little flashing thing flashes,
you get to hit the buttons in this order. Are you looking? Look, here's the pattern.
And Naomi looks away during this scene. Did you watch this? Naomi does not pay attention
to the order of the button pushes. Kind of a lot of pressure put on Naomi Wildman to get
this right. And she just, she can't even fucking pay attention
long enough to get this.
And then seven puts a marshmallow on a plate.
And she's like, all right, I'm gonna go over here.
And if you can remember this button sequence
and not eat that marshmallow, I'm gonna give you two
marshmallows when I get back.
Perfect reference.
That is so funny.
Hey, Van, that's funny.
Oh, thank you.
I love it when people don't laugh and say that's funny. That's so funny. Hey, Ben, that's funny. Oh, thank you. I love it when people don't laugh
and say that's funny. That's funny, Ben. Oh my God, I'm so full of bubbles. Oh, burp it out,
buddy. I'm trying. I'm trying to do it in a way that does not offend Wendy. Our great producer and
one of the many people we've got to thank for making a show like this possible.
We do.
Wendy Uptop has been our editor for over a year. Our producer editor, she fucking rules.
And there are a lot of people who make our ability to hire her possible. This is the people who go
to MaximumFund.org slash join. Financial support for this show makes its professionalization possible.
Professionalization decisions like hiring a real producer,
like hiring Bill Tilly or social media manager,
like going out on tour,
like doing things that cost money.
All of those things are made possible
through the generous support of the friends of DeSoto.
You can join them by going to MaximumFund.org slash join.
We got to thank Adam Reduccio who made our original theme music.
We got to thank Nick Dittmore who designed our show art.
We got some great groups out there on social media.
DrunkShemoto.com Discord.
Yeah, the Discord rules.
GraceGen.wikia.com. And we're not just saying that because we're drunk.
It's a miracle that we get to do this as a job.
Like, we just got drunk together for your benefit.
And talked about Star Trek in a way that makes me really happy.
I love doing this for you.
Well, doing it with you, buddy.
And with that, we will be back at you next week with the next episode.
Thank you. Thank you. And talked about Star Trek in a way that makes me really happy Ben. I love doing this for you
Well doing it with you buddy and with that
We will be back at you next week with another great episode of Star Trek Voyager
Don't even say what the next episode oh we skip the part. We haven't even done the game
What are we doing? We're so drunk. Oh fuck. We're so fucked. We're so fucked
We're gonna we're not gonna make it to the thing. We need to make it to, man.
We're gonna make it, we're gonna make it.
It's door seven, show eight, we're gonna be fucked.
Okay, okay.
Oh, I didn't know that, great.
Yeah, all right, wait, what day does this come out?
I already closed the stupid spreadsheet.
Oh, fuck, where are we?
I tried to find it by typing spreadsheet into my browser.
I'm so full of bubbles, like my stomach's like hard with bubbles.
Oh, you're gonna burp it out on the car right over.
All right, here after the credits, we are reading.
Is this the first ever greatest gen that's gone this out of order?
That's fun. Hey, you know what, stay for the credits ever greatest gen that's gone this out of order? That's fun.
Hey, you know what?
Stay for the credits.
Yeah, that's the lesson.
Yep.
The next episode is season five episode
15 dark frontier part one,
after defeating a Borg chip.
Oh!
Captain Janeway designed to launch an attack
on another damaged sphere
to steal a transwarp coil.
Where does she get the confidence? I thought we were avoiding the borgs. Yeah, avoiding the borgs
Abort the borgs at all costs. Yeah
That's very sweetest chef way to put it or bird the borg to roll cars. It's not Swedish
You're required to learn as you play
Roll we can't hit anything so we're on the square 36.
Here I go.
Hey, Roldy four.
Chula!
Did I win?
Harvey.
On square 40.
Hey.
Regular episode next week.
Good for us.
This feels like a significant moment
in Star Trek Voyager, right?
Like the dark frontiers?
Yeah, I mean, with that, we will be back at you with another great episode of Star Trek
Voyager, an episode of the greatest generation Voyager that hopes we have as much balls as
a couple of Borg spheres.
Oh, yeah.
Look at him, Daniel.
Do we get to see two spheres on screen at once?
Oh, man.
I'd like to see that.
Do the board have a shaft design in there fleet?
Like a whale probe from the four-star check movie?
Has a whale probe ever encountered two spheres?
And found it like kind of a good thing?
Yeah.
I think that could happen.
I hope that's happened.
You think that the sphere on a board cube
is as big as the sphere that comes out of the end
of the whale probe?
God, I wish we had so much more time
during the tour to talk about this,
because no one knows the scale of the whale probe.
And for a long time, like as a kid, as a dumb kid, I thought the little blue ball at the bottom was like as big as the earth. Yeah, but who the fuck knows?
No, it goes past space stock and it's like way way bigger than space stock
And space stock is enormous
Yeah, and it just throws that thing to the side like it's nothing
Talk about that enough on tour.
I wish we saw Whale Prove more in Star Trek.
Maybe that's what Picard's about.
Yeah.
Yeah, maybe it's a strike.
Maybe Vatic is all upset about Whale Prove. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I don't even know. I don't know when this comes out. Maybe. You know what?
You may not appreciate the reference
that your kids are going to love it.
They're going to love it.
I can show.
I can show.
I can show.
I can show.
I can show.
I can show.
I can show.
I can show.
I can show.
I can show.
I can show.
I can show.
I can show.
I can show. I it sound. Y'all look for God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God Audience supported.