The Greatest Generation - Yub Yub (S3E24)

Episode Date: September 28, 2016

Send help! I’m trapped in a podcast factory and they’re forcing me to write a capsule for an episode featuring Ferengis AND Lwaxana Troi!

Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Hey friends of Disodo. Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry. If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join us in standing in solidarity with the folks who actually bring these adventures to life. Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production Studios, have reduced the profit from movies and TV going to workers. And in so doing,

they've attempted to weaken the labor unions that represent those workers. They wouldn't even engage the unions on many issues in their negotiations. And so a strike was the only course of action to take. Adam, Wendy and I have been having a lot of internal discussions about how best to stand with the unions and we are continuing those conversations in a dynamic situation. We're doing our best to understand where the picket lines are in these digital spaces,

and we would never intentionally cross one. With the information we have, we feel like we can do more good talking about and supporting the strike and continuing our show as planned. We'll keep you informed about what all this means for greatest trek specifically. Today we're making a contribution to the Entertainment Community Fund. This fund exists to help all the people whose livelihoods have been put on hold because the AMPTP refuses to negotiate

in good faith with the unions. It provides financial support for writers, actors, and all the thousands of laborers who make the shows that we talk about here and without whom we wouldn't have Star Trek to cast pot about. Those folks are all out of work because billionaires, company shareholders, and the executives of these companies don't want to compromise on the length of their yachts. We hope you'll join us in supporting entertainment workers in a challenging time, especially after they've already endured several years of challenges brought on by the pandemic

and season two of Star Trek Picard. We've set up a page where you can also contribute. It's at friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdececoto for Labor.com. That's FriendsOfDecoto for Labor.com. Link in the episode description. Okay, now let's get on with the show. Here's to the finest crew in Starfleet. Engage! Welcome to the greatest generation, a Star Trek podcast, but we're going to be doing a lot of great stuff. Welcome to the greatest generation, a Star Trek podcast by two guys who are a little bit

embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast. I'm your host Benjamin R. Harrison. I'm your other host, Adam Prennicka. Welcome to the show Adam. Thanks Ben. This is a... episode that I kind of feel like killing some time to not have to get into it super quickly. How do you feel about opening some trading cards? Let's do it!

The game is 5 cards, the game is exceeding the circle. Where does it just start there? Time to plug a pigeon in. Just for the ASMR card, I'm going to do this right up against the mic so that they can hear all little crinkles. Once again, these are the Star Trek the Next next generation. Portfolio, Prince Trading Card, Season 1. Someone accused me of spending $100 for a box of these, Ben. They couldn't be more wrong. Oh, really?

You think I'd spend $100 on this? You don't have $100. I don't. That's right. You certainly didn't at the time that you bought them because we didn't have any network affiliation yet and we didn't have any way to accept donations. It's true. By the way, somebody...

I don't remember if it was what social network it was on, but somebody was like, why do you guys have a Patreon? And uh... Thanks for counting yourself as someone who turns off the pod before the very end. Yeah, so... So, we're on MaximumFun.org, which is a How do you think that is? How do you think that is? How do you think that is? How do you think that is? How do you think that is? How do you think that is?

How do you think that is? How do you think that is? How do you think that is? How do you think that is? How do you think that is? How do you think that is? How do you think that is? How do you think that is? We have to Patreon and it's probably better for us than Patreon because it's not just a shaking down our listeners for cash system.

It's a they support us and we get to learn from people that really know what they're doing, system, and we get to put out a t-shirt via maximumfund.org. And it's the same deal. Like you sign up you support at a monthly donation level and every donation is hugely appreciated and it's better than Patreon at least for us. Well I'm not trying to scold anybody, I'm just saying we don't have that

because we have this and we think that this is better. Right right I agree it's I think it's easier. My first card is the arsenal of freedom Adam and you remember those dildonic robots that they kept having to shoot out of the sky, right? Sure do. Well, the illustration of the robot that it's like hovering next to Reikers head in this trading card, cements eternally the idea that those robots were dildos. That's great. I like that they leaned into that. Let's see, I have one for contagion, which I think is the one where chaotic bro spotted the poopy on the... ...clingon ship.

Yeah. Oh shit Adam. This is a big one. on the uh... klingon ship oh shit at him this is a big one this is a big card i have a signed card for parent cerick's wife

we just talked about on the last episode congratulations this limited edition card has been personally signed by We just talked about on the last episode. Oh! Congratulations! This limited edition card has been personally signed by Joanna Miles as Perrin in CERIC. That is fantastic! Yeah. Wow, and well timed too. Yeah, man, we should have opened cards on the last episode. It would have been ridiculous.

That's pretty awesome, dude. Congratulations. So you have... how many signed cards do you have at this point? I have Baxter and I have Parent. That's a hell of a combo, man. Yeah. I also have a card here for the Drumhead, which is that one where Picard gets real lawyery defending a half-rimeol and crewmate.

It's a good episode. Yeah. And I've got one for an episode called Rightful Air. Did he watch this one? I don't know. No, this is the one where they like find K-Less, the god of the Klingons or whatever. Right, right, right. Or I don't remember a deck that it goes, but that's what that's for. Oh man, it sounds like you got some good ones.

This is a solid, this is a solid pack. Yeah, good pack job by you. Yeah. How about yourself? What'd you get? I got the last outpost, which was the anybody canyon episode. Yeah. This, that pack, by the way, is only going so far too. Make me not dread what we have in front of us. See, I want to just get through this real fast. I can't wait to talk about this episode. Alright, so we got the last outpost. We got when the bow breaks, which was, uh, they decided not to put the dolphin polishing scene on the card, instead it's just a picture of, of the boy,

and, uh, and his uniform racing stripes. We have the measure of a man. Devils do, which is the silhouette of a woman, and the devil sort of stenciled onto her in the groin region. I got this card. This is the one where the lady like convinces the planet that she's Satan. Yeah, I like that episode. Yeah. Interesting place to put the devil, too. And then I got time zero part two, the sequel to the original. Did you mean the misogynistic place to put the devil? Yes. Yes, that is what I mean exactly.

Yeah. And then finally, the sequel to the original time zero, time zero part two, with a picture of Geinen and a flat brimmed hat and also a flat brimmed clock, hovering just above it. With that bit of business done, Ben, it's time to get your shots. No one likes going to the doctor, but you've got to do it. It's season three, episode 24. Manage a twa. Let's rip off this band-aid atom.

Let's do it. The Enterprise is at Beta's end. It's a real lovely looking planet from orbit, isn't it? Yeah, it's a regular looking planet. It's a real lovely looking planet for morbid, isn't it? Yeah, it's a regular looking planet. It's no dry and dusty planet, Vulcan, it's no swirling fart atmosphere planet. It's like a blue planet with a lovely looking continents. Looks real emergent.

Yeah, and Picard is a voice-overing too. Explain that there's been a big trade conference and the Ferengi got to come this year. And there's like a shindig aboard the Enterprise for the last night of the conference. It's like the outgoing party and the Ferengi got to come aboard for that too, despite his misgivings.

This party on 10-4 just kind of jamming, right? Yeah. They've got kind of an upright Maremba player, and he's playing an iPhone ringtone sounding song over and over again. They tried to get some eWox with stormtrooper helmets to play this, but they're on tour and the fee that they would have needed to pay was just like really exorbitant. So they got this guy instead. Every once in a while you get a real alien looking alien on this show and he's one of them.

Yeah. You also have in this scene one of the fish men from the dog versus fish episode hanging out in the background. But the basic action is this. Troy and her mom are hanging out and Picard is hanging out with the like political leader of Betas' Inn. And there's some Frankie chilling at the bar, and there's one of them that is ready to Mac on the Loaxana Troy. He's totally sprung of Loaxana Troy. And what you know that he's into at this point

is some boob, because Loaxana, once again, is leaving that much to the imagination. She's sitting at a table eating three wedge salads at once and letting them out. She's looking frisky and ready to party. She's got no body shame, you know? Like, she's very liberated in that way. All she wants to do is go to a naked wedding, you know? It's true, yeah.

I feel like I don't like the way I look to the extent that a naked wedding would be a hard thing for me to get myself ready for. Yeah, and this is clearly like my hang up also. This is not a Waxana shaming comment or commentary that I'm trying to deliver. It is very clearly a, man I wish I was more like her in this way maybe only. For sure. By the way I'm drinking a large glass of tequila to get me through this episode at him. Oh man like a pint glass. Just like a like a double rocks glass filled more than halfway up.

Do I detect some ice in there? Yeah, I got a couple of large perfectly clear ice cubes that I made. So this this forangi Damon, Damon Tog walks up to a lot of the Trion Holler at her and his logic is this. Like, I'm a powerful man. I've got a starship, I got a bunch of sniffling forengies working for me. This is a Statuesquim, and she's got a lot of boob showing,

and she can read minds. Can you imagine putting somebody like me and somebody like her at the head of an enterprise? Like, we would be unstoppable. They'd be great tag team partners. They'd be like Macho Man Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth. Will you marry me? Oh yeah.

They'd conquer the galaxy together. He's got big dreams. So what Damon Tog does not consider is that Laxana is not a participant in the patriarchy the way he is and he cannot conceive of a woman who's gonna have like her own Agenda that doesn't collapse under his yeah whenever his masculinity is at risk So he keeps coming up and like trying to kick it to her lots of joy. I Desire you what and she's like later for that and walking away And he's like he just can't even wrap his head around it

He isn't even insulted as much as he's confused. Like, why isn't this working? Right, and his advances are not like, hey, baby, I think you look cute in that dress, they're like, you will come and have sex with me on my spaceship now. He is a, he's a colonel in the seduction community. Like, like he and Jordi are bowed about it, aren't they? He's a colonel and a turd atom.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, and good thing it doesn't work. Yeah, we should also say that his wingman in this scene is played by Nielix. Yeah, yeah, which the voice is the thing that tipped me off. He's got a very, very identifiable voice. Yeah. A little surprising that they didn't choose to put them in like peacock feather hats and like have them do some cheap card trick to try and get a conversation started with the... God, with... The guy who plays Nelix after the... after his shoot days over is like, man, really glad I got the work, but could you imagine working on a series where you had to wear a full, like, headdress makeup thing?

Drostetic? Boy, would that suck? Not doing that! It's like talking to Michael Dorn, he's like, so you have to do this every single shoot to a god. Bummer. That sucks. I would never do that, no matter how desperate. Shh.

My career's going in different places, Bub. Yeah, good luck with this Star Trek show or whatever. I've got bigger plans. Like making a fucking Star Trek cookbook in ten years. So Picard is gonna go do some science. They're gonna do some science on a nebula. And it's like, it's routine biz for the Enterprise. So it's not heavy lifting. And he talks riker and Troy and a few other, you know, randoms into taking some short leave. Like they're just gonna go do this science without them.

It feels like Rikers earned it. And so- Also feels like Picard's play is to guarantee Waxana leaves the ship. Like, look, if Troy and Riker are down on the surface, of course Waxana's gonna go with. Yeah. Sort of a little bit of a hedge.

Yeah, I mean, that's like a real Trump card that he might not even need to play, you know? Yeah. Like, I feel like he's winning this hand, but he doesn't wanna leave anything to uncertainty. Yeah. The Enterprise heads off to do its science project, and Riker and Troy go on a date on the surface of Betas' head.

and Riker and Troy go on a date on the surface of Betas' head. And this is a rare, like, actual exterior where they shot probably in, like, some botanical garden in LA. And Riker and Troy are on, like, a totally sexy day date, where they're, like, walking around in the garden, they're looking some flowers, they're doing a little smooching. If you were to make an action figure based on Riker in this scene, it is so harlequin novel Riker. Like, he's got a big poofy shirt,

he's got Nicki Minaj pants. Like, he's got the whole thing going on. He's doing a little hand holding with Troy, they're smelling some flowers. It feels good. It feels like they may be rekindling something. They may have done, had not Mr. Ham and Loaxana showed up with a picnic. And it's a weird scene where Troy's like, how did you guys know?

And I wonder how any betasoid could ever ask that of another betasoid? Like exactly. Major fail in the script on that line. This is on the heels of Laxana, really, given Troy the business about not settling down to. And this entire picnic blanket scene is just more Laxana wanting to squish, r and Troy together like get them get them fires going again

Yeah, she's totally playing the like Dominion mother that's obsessed with marrying off her daughter, which is, I think, a character that can be depicted, but doesn't make any fucking sense in the context of this show, or especially, like, the opening scene of the episode where it's about her being, like, a totally independent woman. Like, she's, she wants independence for herself, but she wants her daughter to be totally subplicated to this powerful and successful man. Like, it doesn't square. It's bad writing, man.

Yeah. Yeah, it's not great. It's not great. They start digging into this, this bed is a wood food. And I think the idea is Loxana like wants to give Riker something that has like sex vitamins in it. It's weird. Why is she giving him food to eat? So she's like, hey, check out this piece of lettuce. It's got these weird veins in it. Then I thought the scene was so weird. It compelled me to do a little research.

Oh yeah. And what I found was that originally, this piece of produce that Loaxano was supposed to give Riker was like a dick. Like, it was dick-shaped, which is why they kept the dialogue about it being veiny in it. Because you remember, it was a piece of lettuce, and she's like, yeah, it's got these veins that haveainey in it. Because you remember it was a piece of lettuce and she's like, yeah, it's got these veins

that have these juices in it. But originally it was a dong. Like a dildonic veg. Oh, what, Jenny? Can you believe that didn't fly? Right here it was like, I would never bite into, but I would lovingly lick on. Yeah, yeah. I would just kind of smack against my cheek.

Yeah, fucking weird. The excessive amount of consent was provided by the vegetable in question. So for our sensitive American audience, we get a piece of like rainbow shard. And I don't think he likes it. Probably the Asguid. Very different. Well I guess to go with what was supposed to be a dick, LaWoxana gets the idea that some berries might be fun to eat as well. So she gets like a...

She gets like a beach bucket and gives it to Mr. Homm and says like, go off and pick some berries, bro. And he heads off and just then, Damon Tog beams down with a bouquet of flowers and a handset tour and... Rikers like... Rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude I feel like Mr. Homb if he wanted to, could just rip the ear sure his head. Yeah. And like throw them into that lake. Mr. Homb is like three times as tall as this guy, right? Yeah. Yeah, Mr. Homb could be three Farrangies inside a trench coat.

We swear, we're grownups. Yep. So yeah, in Mr. Homb's absence, the Daemon manages to abduct Troy, Riker, and Loaxana up to his ship, and they are in the Craytons version of the Brig. And it's kind of a weirdly configured room where they're sort of, they're in a little cell that's off to the side, but the, there's some, there's some like computers and stuff and there's a 3D chest set in there. I guess Riker's already like kind of

dusted the floor with one of these for Angi, so there's some some brinksmanship with the, with the chest that comes into play with this episode. But yeah, they're locked up and Ryker is, you know, trying to figure out what to do with this situation when one of the Frankies notices that they're awake, radios up to Damon Tog and Damon Tog, like hits a button and the Laxana and Dianitroy are beamed out of their dresses and into Tag's quarters. So they materialize nude and there's actually like maybe the only good part of this episode spoiler alert is the special effect when they beam out of their dresses because like their

dresses are left empty in mid-air and like fall to the ground and it's like perfectly pulled off. It's not an easy effect to do and actually done pretty well. Not the first time a couple of dresses get thrown at Riker's feet either. Yeah. Well, Riker's whole philosophy is the sexiest clothes are the ones that are on the floor. It's true, but what reallyiker's whole philosophy is the sexiest clothes are the ones that are on the floor. It's true, but what really anger's Riker is that they were beamed away without their consent. Yeah, this plays right into Riker's whole ethos

as a coxman. Right. And Damon talks ideas that he's going to, you know, press the issue and essentially force LaLoxana into a relationship with him. And it's like, you know, classic guy who can't take no for an answer story. Yeah. Which, that's basically all you can say about it, right?

Pretty much. I mean, and LaLoxana sort of hatches a plan of her own, right? She's like, look, I really don't see a way out of this unless I can, unless I can pitch you late somehow. Like, there's no going back, he's going to keep all of us. What if I can get him to get rid of you to an exchange for me? What is that going to take? So Loxana starts flirting a little bit with Tag,

makes it clear that, you know, maybe your idea is and quite so far fetched. Never at any point being sincere in these feelings. Yeah, and, you know, her... the second she turns on her charm, he is putty in her hands. Yeah, yeah. So, I guess say what you want about it, but his guard gets trapped. The second she expresses any interest in him.

The moment she does, he hits a button and basically quagmires his quarters, like a bed rolls out, like the lights turn down, like the whole deal. Yeah. You know, Marvin Gaye records starts playing. Yeah. Yeah. Hands are a snifter of brandy. Yeah, he gets real gross. So, a little like ladies man type of vibe, you know, tries to buy her a fish sandwich.

Like anyone who just doesn't get the science, he just launches right in. Meanwhile, on the Enterprise, there is a little bit of fun in games with the Nebula, like they're doing some science. And I guess if we can call this a B storyline, there's some discussion of the fact that Wesley aboard is going to be heading off to the Academy after this little science mission. I guess he did pretty good on his written exam and he's got his oral exam which he's nervous about. I don't know why. I mean, he's obviously got lots of experience with oral, you know, every time, every time Picard unzips the mask. That's gross. And there's like a scene where Jordy and Data are like, yeah, like what's it going to be like? I mean, you might get stationed on another ship or even if you do get stationed on this ship,

none of us might even be here. You know, we might have all gotten transferred to other posts or whatever. And Wesley's realizing that life is never going to be the same once he goes into the Academy. And he'd never really considered that fact. Like he's, he's just thinking I'm gonna go I'm gonna run off to this academy and get my pip and then I'm heading back here. I might use that pip you know and they're like it might not be how it how it plays out buddy like you might like who knows you might go off to the academy and get in big trouble for covering up a major aeronautics disaster.

Who knows? I mean, I'm just saying that could happen. Just speculate, you know, like blue sky here, but it could happen. Yeah, and this hits West like a bucket of cold water. He's like, you mean things change when I'm not present? That's weird. Yeah. Wesley Crusher, solipsist. Yeah. Yeah, and that is just the latest B of B stories in this. We are very firmly entrenched in the LaXana story for most of the episode. So, Raker works on this sub-Varenki who's playing chess and kind of like challenges him to a

game of chess. They start playing and rakers like, hey listen like I'm not really having fun playing you because I'm way over here on the other side of the room buying this forest field so I'm gonna go chill out on this bed and you can either finish the game by yourself or go fuck yourself I don't really care. And like every set up that a character pulls on another character in this episode is like exquisitely predictable. Like you basically are never given a plant that pays off in a way that surprises you. And wouldn't you know it, but Recker is using this chess game as a way to get under this guy's skin, get him to drop the force field and then Recker can use his superior human strength to overpower him,

steal his phaser and start like fucking around on the computer. And so he does that. He's working on the computer and... Ben, I really feel like this episode makes the Ferengy look so fucking dumb. It really does. Because you're right, like every setup is so transparent. Luxonestroyce treatment of Tog is, like, completely, completely transparent.

Like, I feel like the Firingi are as dumb as the packlets. They're diet-packlet. And there's supposed to be these, like, cunning businessmen, right? Like, it does make a fucking sense that they're so credulous. It seems like it's a miracle that they could even have starship technology. Yeah. Like maybe this is like the B team of Frankies or something.

Yeah. Like maybe this trade conference in a socialist utopia was not a big enough deal to send the real heavy hitters from the Ferengue Alliance. So they sent Damon Tog and his group of lackeys, but that's like the only head cannon that makes this make any sense. Yeah. Kidnapping storylines have been done in every show for all time, and I think this is probably one of the worst executions of that. The walk's on us up there like rubbing our hands all over Damon Togs ears. She's got him to a point where he's about to give up his command code so they can get a carrier signal out to the enterprise and the the Nielix guy runs in and it's like you fucking idiot.

You almost, you almost gave the whole ship up to this. You almost gave them the recipe to the ship. Yeah. Yeah, you almost gave them the 11 herbs and spices and the Colonel's secret recipe chicken. You hear about that? Yeah, I did. herbs and spices and the Colonel's secret recipe chicken. You hear about that? Yeah, I did.

Yeah, that's a, that's super old news by the time this episode is coming up, but it's breaking right now as we're recording it. And this seems like grounds for him losing his command. This other foringies like, you have been an idiot with this woman the entire time. Like, I can't co-sign any of this What you need to do is give her to me so I can hook her up to some weird machine and study our mindworks Maybe we may we may get value for this fucking stupid mission You've got us on if I'm able to like drill lasers into her brain and that's really the only way I'm not gonna report you

up to the Ferengy Executive Leadership here. Yeah, he's gonna do some mad scientist shit on LaXana. And you know, it's just another like kind of half-hearted attempt to raise the stakes in this episode because she's getting drilled down in two by this machine, right her breaks in and phasers the guy

and she like hops up and she's like at 100% immediately. She's not like fucked up by this at all. Like they're like, this could destroy her mind and come on, give me a fucking break. Like we should be so lucky. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh man, that's character cruelty. Ha ha ha.

They managed to get a signal out to the enterprise by encoding it in the Cochrane distortion field of the warp something, something. You don't say. First time I think we hear the name Cochran maybe. Which is interesting because that comes up in the first contact but the boy Wesley Crusher recognizes it in a way that is you know like the enterprise is hunting for the Frankies by this point and Wesley is like on his way down to board the ship that's gonna take him off to do some oral.

And he runs back up to the bridge and he's like, I got it. The interference itself could be a message. If I get a chair replay of the subspace scans. It's static in the warp signature of the frangy ship. And that's how we're gonna find Amanda Reiker. And it turns out that he figured out a way to use the static to play Yub-Yub.

Yeah, yeah, Rikers like they've got to know this tune. Everybody loves this. End of Return of the Jedi, it's a classic. You would never do anything to replace this song. Because it's maybe the greatest piece of music in Star. Rikers like, I can't finish unless I hear the Yub Yub song. He's a dub. So the Enterprise chases him down and gets him up on the FaceTime, right? The Franky's beam riker and Troy aboard. And I don't know why, but they stick around

to try and pull it out for LaWoxana. I mean, you would think that Picard would look at this and be like, all right, two out of three is not bad. And these are like my officers. According to Wurf, like those are way, way acceptable losses. Like one out of the three, he's like, yeah, let's hit the gas and get out of here.

Yeah, and let's be honest, the third one, a bit of a dud. Kind of drags down every season when she shows up in her one contractually obligated episode. The hopes of millions of viewers ride on Picard's decision here. And unfortunately, he calls it wrong. Picard's like, we gotta get Luxana back, right?

We gotta get her back. And Luxana starts getting them to quarrel. She's like, well, you'll have to do it over Tox dead body. He loves me. He loves me and he's not letting me go. When will you get through your thick head that it's over between us, John Luke? That dude fucks. Yeah. Check out this guy's rad ears. You know what, big ears mean. And so the trick is that, like, because of what's the deal, dude? Is it because of like some Ferenzy rule of acquisition or something that like Picard has

got to really threaten Tag with something serious to get him to give her up? Yeah, and I think that the idea here is Picard has to sell to Tog that he is crazy enough about LaWoxana that he's gonna, he'll actually throw some military force behind this. He's willing to blow up the Ferengy ship. He is the man who will fight for her honor. So Picard in playing the role of Jealous Lover begins to serenade Loxana with some sweet sweet shake of spear. My love is a fever, longing still for that which longer nurseeth the disease. Tell me more. You know Adam I could have sworn I'd heard this on it somewhere before.

Yeah, I don't think so, Ben. No? Okay. No. Well, anyways, they convinced Todd that he's, you know, Loaxana is not worth the ass-woping that the enterprise is going to lay on him. If you were Todd, you would have accepted being destroyed. You would have been like, please kill me.

Please shoot all of your torpedoes at me. Yeah. And my suffering. I think tog is just in damage control mode now because Nelix is onto what a fucking hack he is and Picard is threatening to report him to the Frankies is not being good at business Yeah, that'd be real trouble. She ends up being a not worth the effort at this point, right? So they get her back aboard and the episode ends with a scene where Picard calls the boy into his ready room and gives him a little field commission.

Yeah, he's like, you've done pretty great. You basically single-handedly rescued Riker Troy and that other woman. Good job, man. I know you sort of missed the bus to school and in light of that, you know what, I'm the captain around here, I've got the power, I have the power to give you field commission, so check it out. Instead of being an acting incident, full time engine with all the rewards and duties there too. Yeah, and this is real nice. You know, it's like a much more restrictive leather suit that

restlessly is going to be wearing. You know, like it's just like it's taking the kink to a whole other level. Right, it's basically removing all the say-fords, but the introduction of some electrical stimuli, like pretty weird shit now. Yeah, they might even get into some blood play. Like some stuff that's like really off, like off the reservation, like Dan Savage can't even sign off on some of this stuff. Stuff you can't even find online.

Yeah. Yeah, and so a few moments later, West steps onto the bridge in a very ill-fitting Federation uniform like holy shit. It he wears it like Like a hooded sweatshirt that LL cool J would buy like it's it is just like baggy as fuck Yeah, it kind of it's like the suit that a kid wears to his bar mitzvah because you know, it's like the suit that a kid wears to his bar mitzvah because you might grow into this. Like people aren't being honest about the fact

that his body is going to change a lot before he's like a full grown man. So they buy him this with the idea that it's gonna be a long-term investment and it really should have just been for this one occasion, you know. Yeah, it's just hanging off of them. Yeah, it's a little bit of a mess. But big smiles all around.

Yeah. It's good to see. Good to see them in a regular uniform instead of that weird gray, high rise sweatpants, sweatshirt combo. Yeah, and, you know, I think let's be honest, like this costume has run its course. And I think it's been showing its age in some of the recent episodes,

like it's got a big like V-shaped notch in the back of the pants. Yeah. And the like corners of that have really been sticking out in recent episodes. It's sort of looking like it's not long for this world and I have to think that they were like, do we make another non-official starfleet uniform

for this character or does Wes just get to go official? Yeah, I wonder if it was a production influencing story there. Like, look, this thing is breaking down. We don't want to make another. Yeah. Why don't you promote the kid? So he retires his all silver communicator badge. He retires his weird sweater tops, wet suit.

I would say his hair is even a little bit better. Yeah, the whole ensemble looks much better, much, much better. Doesn't fit him as sleekly, but it suits him. It's true. Yeah. Yeah. Big smiles all around. Good feeling at the end of the episode. Wesley Platt, of course, and they're out of there. End of episode, Ben, you got through it. How do you feel? You all right? We've recorded a longer episode than I anticipated.

I thought this is gonna be like a 20 minute app. Tell me how you're feeling right now. I'm relieved to have this one in the rear view. Give me the status of your giant tequila. It is M.T. Nice. Well done. What am I going to do with an M.T. tequila? I don't know.

Fill her up. Fill her back up. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm happy for you. You did it. We got you through it. Yeah.

Was it as bad as you thought it would be? This might be... Is it on your Mount Armas? It's on my Mount Armas for sure. So here's the problem I have. There are some episodes that are so horrendously racist or otherwise just, or, you know, misogynistic or whatever that, like, I can't look past.

Yeah. I feel like this is a little more misogynistic than your average, you know, first three season episodes. But really the problem with this is the script. It is a fucking garbage script. And it's not a garbage script in the season one way or the season two way, it's like, they have completely reinvented garbage. Yeah, it technically doesn't work on a number of levels.

It assumes a stupidity in the antagonist that shouldn't exist. Like, it's that thing where you were either a conflict is worthy of the protagonist and the effort that is required to to surmount that challenge or it's weak to the degree that it's just a joke. And to me, it was the latter of the two. Like, this was too easy. And I think we all feel dumber for seeing it. Right, like at least the pack leds episode. I mean, as flawed an episode as that is,

it sort of feels like a conflict that we can relate to, right? Whenever you are in a situation where somebody has some power but they are so stupid that they can't be reasoned with, that is a genuine kind of frustration and this is a show that can actually explore that in an interesting way without lamp, you know, like lampooning, like some specific group.

This episode is just like, there's no there there. It's like a stupid antagonist for the reason that whoever wrote the antagonist wasn't smart enough to make the antagonist smart. It's fucking sucks, man. Yeah, and I'm like, you, I don't know if I could stick it in the Mount Armistpool because like, there's a lot of bad coming up. I mean, it might not be the

fourth worst episode we've seen, but it's definitely in the conversation. For sure. It's disappointing that you, I just thought this show was better than this at this moment in time. Yeah. Well, I don't want to like depress everyone, but yeah, let's yeah, I mean, like, I think that Adam, you and I have probably had episodes that are as massive of failures as this episode was for Star Trek, the next generation. So let's not like completely shit on it. Like it is not easy to make something good when you are like almost... There are probably like 80 episodes into the series at the...

No. Yeah, well, they're 24 into the season. I mean... Yeah, so there are probably like 75 episodes into the series at this point. Yeah. The fact that they have fallen this low is dismaying but not completely disheartening. Judge not, Lest, we be judged. Yeah, we should not be throwing rocks up in this glass his house. Well put, Ben. Hey, Ben. What's that,? Did you did you hear that that that ringing noise

in your headphones? I bet people thought you were about to talk about drunk Shimoda but you're not yet are you? Now that's a little bit of a head fake. I'm messing around with my branding. What's what's up? Well I think we're getting something in on the old priority one message computer computer. Check it out. Oh, yeah, let's do that. I love making money. Priority One message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Need a supplement only. supplement, supplement.

supplement. Yes, extra. The interest alone could be enough to buy this ship. Our first message is from Jamie Liz. I think so, I'm gonna pronounce that. And let's go with that. It is for my favorite assemblage of star stuff. Oh, of all the husbands I've had, you're the first.

Thanks for surfing the discredo line with me for an instant door jam miles a Z Brian The Ford in conspicuous for Brenner and hot dogs and generally keeping me sane also we made a person And she's pretty amazing happy fifth anniversary husband mine Here's to many more He who is my husband I was just gonna do that joke. God damn it. Oh, I'm sorry. Well done. Well done. Uh, yeah, I was, uh...

My favorite assemblish of stash stuff. Even though I am better than you, I am not. You're doing that bread kneeling thing, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh man. That's one of the greats. What a really nice anniversary message Fifth anniversary. I've not made yet made it to five Yeah, it's a big one the only thing I've made is a fart under the sheets

Yeah, these people made a person That's pretty that's pretty tremendous Is the person named Hock Gugs or Brinner? Yeah, maybe. I mean, I'm not gonna judge a child name. Yeah. I'm just gonna hope that it's not named Brinner or Hock Gugs. Yeah, the trends are all different these days Adam. It's true. I'm gonna stay with the times. Yeah, yeah. We have a second one if I am not mistaken. I don't believe you are Ben. Do you want to read it for us? Yeah, I could do that. Our next priority one message is of a personal nature. It is for David Corbett from Alex. Happy birthday, Dad. Wish you were still here with us to celebrate and we will always miss you in our hearts.

Remember when the local library had every episode of TNG on VHS, and we watched them all? Great times. The universe is a darker place now without you. I love you, Dad. God, that was really sweet. I know. I had kind of a hard time getting through that. That was great.

Yeah. That's a really touching message, Alex, and I'm glad that you chose us to help you share that. Your dad sounds like a really cool guy. I would not recommend anybody listening to this program with their with their parents in person because I feel like that would make for some uncomfortable. That's a tough car ride I think. Yeah, but, uh, but man, how sweet. Yeah. Well, it feels a little sloppy to pivot into promoting this service, but if you'd like to

help support the show by buying a priority one message, it's a hundred bucks for a personal message or two hundred for a commercial message. Just go to maximumfund.org slash jumbo-tron and you can fill form. And I think it's fun for us, fun for everybody else and helps support the show. Yeah. And sometimes I get a little choked up. Dabok and Jalani and Denarga. A greatest gen live show is something you don't want to miss.

Why? Well, it's a great opportunity to see me and Ben in person, but that's not all. FODs from all over gather at these shows to cosplay, to do pre and post-show hangs, to make friends, and share their embarrassment. Hey, let's make a pretty great name for a tour. Let's do it! The Share Your Embarrassment Tour is coming in August 2023, and we've got a bunch of dates in a lot of great places. Go to GreatestGenTour.com to get more info.

That's GreatestGenTour.com for dates and ticketing information for the Share Your Embarrassment Tour. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Jesse Thorne. On Jordan Jesse Go, we make pure, delightful nonsense. We were open awesome guests and bring them down to our level. We get stupid with Judy Greer. My friend Molly and I call it having the spaceweirds.

Pat Noswald. Could I get a ball-rock burger and some air-gorn fries? Thank you. And Kumail Non-Giani. I've come back with cat toothbrushes, which is impossible to use. Come get stupider with us at MaximumFun.org. Look, your podcast apps are already open. Just pull it out.

Give Jordan Jesse Goat try. Being smart is hard. Be dumb instead. Oh, rats. Hey, hey, hey, oh, I'm about to count you in mine. These clouds are really freaking me out. I hate having to stand in line. And boy, what do I?

These giraffes do not smell good. No, they do not, and they've such short neck. But I'm hearing we need to get on this. We've got to get on the art. It is about terrain, about a spout to destroy humanity. Hey, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Are you Noah?

Yeah, I know we look like humans. We're actually, we're podcasters. We are podcasters, so it's different. Have you heard of Ono Ross and Kerry? We investigate spirituality, claims of the paranormal, stuff like that. And you have a boat and say the world's gonna end, so seem like something for us to check out. We investigate spirituality, claims of the paranormal, stuff like that. And you have a boat and say the world's gonna end, so seem like something for us to check out.

We would love to be on the boats. We came to by two. What do you think? OnoRossinCari, available on MaximumFund.org. Did you find yourself a drunk Shimoda in this episode? Drunk Shimoda! Fuck off. No, it was, it was Shimoda-less. I would say that there is no Shimoda in this episode.

This episode is not worth giving a drunk Shimoda for. That is a fucking great call. I agree with you. This will not get a Shimoda from me The the core competency of a drunk Shimoda is the fun factor Didn't feel like this episode had any fun in it. It was it was too weird. It was too bad so no Shimodas from me no Shimodas from you Yeah, that is that's unprecedented. I would say that the only other episode I can think of that didn't get any shimotas was episode one.

Yeah, yeah. It's true. Wow. Interesting, ep interesting pod. What do we have coming up for the next episode? The next episode is season three, episode episode 25 Transfigurations. The Enterprise rescues a mysterious humanoid whose remarkable powers affect the entire crew. Do you remember this episode, Adam? Not one bit. I think this is another like space Jesus episode, or like the guy turns into a being of pure light. Oh, you don't say. Yeah.

Uh... That's my vague recollection. You know who else turns into a being of pure light? Oh. The darede. Oh yeah. Yeah, I wonder if uh, if our pal Kevin knows this guy. Oh yeah, I bet.

I bet because they probably exist out of time. He's like Mr. Pierlet. I admire when you've presented yourself to the Enterprise crew. I know them well. I even manufactured a series of real dolls for Commander Riker. Well, I respect the way in which you've presented yourself to my friends. I must say that if you try to elbow your way into my business, that it works very hard to cultivate. You'll find me destroying not just you, but everyone of you kind.

A little pebble in the path that I creep over from time to time and I would encourage you not to tempt me through it again. It makes me feel terrible. It's something I'm working on really hurt. In the nipherge of self-bermit, I've gone through the steps. Trying not to do any more genocide, it's been going to be several dozen years. I've been going to regular genocide anonymous meetings. Hello, my name is Kevin Express.

Hello, Kevin. And I've committed genocide. I Just earned my four episode no genocide coin Oh man, the wooden nickel of genocide. Oh Man, it feels like it's been a while since we've done Kevin. It's like an old shoe. Feels great. I think that people that have slogged through this fucking horrible episode. Yeah, we had to give them a little bit. Got a nice payoff there.

Yeah, no kidding. Speaking of payoff, Sadam. Hey, that's a championship level pivot. Yeah, taking a page out of the Mission Log Playbook. There are lots and lots of ways that you can help make this show keep being a show and keep getting better. And the tip top way is by going to maximumfun.org slash donate and supporting our show with your donations. We really appreciate everybody that does that. It's like Patreon. The other options you have if you

don't got the tickets right now, that's totally fine. You could head to iTunes and leave us a review or leave us a review where view have available to you. If you are on Google Play, I think that they have something maybe on there. If not that, start a blog or write an article for a major media outlet about how much you like our show because that seems to really help us find new listeners. That was a hell of a sales pitch there, Ben. That seems to really help us find new listeners. That was the hell of a sales pitch there, Ben. Yeah, we appreciate all your stars.

Thanks for those. You can also talk about us. You can also talk about the show with us on Twitter using a hashtag greatest gen. Of course, Adam is at Cut for Time and I am at Benjamin R, A.H.R. And we would love to goof around with you about this episode and all past episodes on Twitter. There's also a Facebook group, Facebook page, and several subreddits associated with the show. There's even baseball cards associated with the show, Ben. That's true. Our friend Bill Tilly is making those and every single time I see one, I'm delighted by

it. He's the best. Shout out to our man Bill Tilly, BT. Bwap, bwap, bw to recognize the music that gets played on our show that of course being the Picard song as our theme and interstitial music created by the one and only dark material you can find the Picard song Anywhere and on every website on the internet by simply searching for the Picard song and dark material Yeah, you can also give a high five to Adam Ragusia, who made the song The Place During our Priority One messages. And listen to his podcast The pub on

current public media. It's a really terrific show about public media and podcasting. And that dude is sharp as a tack and really gets into it in ways that I hugely admire. I wouldn't listen to him if he also wasn't funny, which he is. He manages to turn a podcast business show into something that's really great to listen to. Totally.

Well, thanks for listening to us, and with that we will be back at you next time with another great episode of Star Trek the next generation in a remarkably powerful episode. That's the greatest generation. Huh, sounds good, it's not going to be as bad as this one. It's all uphill from here. It really is. I think that might have been the naidier of Greatest Gen. Make it sound. Maximumfund.org Comedy and Culture, Art and Stone Listener Supported