The Headgum Podcast - 133: Too Many Squats to Handle (w/ Lucy Blehar, Cecily Breaux, and Billy Bryk!)
Episode Date: December 16, 2022Friends of the show Lucy Blehar, Cecily Breaux, and Billy Bryk join Geoff to discuss breakups, Steve-O, and Spanish torrijas. Plus, they have a squatting contest! The Pit Wall has been greenl...it! Subscribe on your favorite podcast app so you don't miss new episodes dropping every Wednesday after a race. Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fm Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts. Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Spotify. Join the Headgum DiscordSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Original.
Previously on the HeadGum Podcast.
Detroit and Cleveland kind of have this weird brother relationship that I appreciate.
And I might have to go Red Wings for that specific reason.
I feel like you're not looking at anything on your phone.
You're scrolling so fast.
Is it just photos?
No, I'm trying to find the photo that I have because I got a Red Wings jacket because it
looked cool.
Can you name 10 hockey players of all time?
Sidney Crosby, Wayne Gretzky, Jeremy Dowdy, Jonathan Quick, Ovenchkin.
I don't know his first name.
Yeah, you don't.
I don't think it's Ovenchkin either.
Gordon Bombay. Gordon Bombay Gordon Bombay
I was gonna say Gordon
Jeff Gorton
Let's go
Oh you know who there is
Randall Lightfoot Friday, December 8th.
We're banking episodes.
We've got another episode where nobody who works for the network is on the episode.
Great.
Casey, are you on a Voice of God mic, though?
Yes, I am.
You're our anchor.
Lita.
Welcome back to the show.
We've never had this combination of guests, but we've got William Nicholas Brick.
Hello. Your last name Nicholas Brick. Whoa.
Hello.
Yeah.
Your last name's Brick?
It is, yeah.
My first name's Billy.
Billy Brick.
William Brick.
William Brick.
Cecily Bro,
Lucy Blehar.
Hi.
Pleasure to be here.
Coming at you live
from Toronto,
Ontario,
Canada.
Houston,
Texas.
Yeah.
Pittsburgh. Sorry, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Houston, Texas. Yeah. Pittsburgh.
Sorry, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
Oh, my God.
God.
I watch your content.
Are you serious?
Oh, okay.
You're referencing my content.
I am.
I will say that.
So Lucy is from Pittsburgh and you posted a TikTok and or reel of how you'll say that
and then people will be like, oh, my God, I love Philadelphia.
Immediately.
And some of my best friends
that I've known for years,
I mean, I'm certain
that you have been like,
are you going back to Philly
for the holidays?
I don't think I've said that once,
actually.
Well, then it must have been Mary.
Why is that a thing
that people get confused?
Beats me.
Beats me.
They're different enough.
I guess they're just both
Pennsylvania cities
that start with a P.
Right.
George Saba
said that you were
from Philadelphia
like a week ago.
Wow.
Okay, call him out.
Yeah.
Call him out.
I'm going to need
his contact information.
Yeah, we're going to
have to be texting him.
The fact that you
don't have his number
and he doesn't have yours
is punishment enough.
Yeah, that's true.
He can never reach me.
That's true.
I like your pillow situation.
This is good.
Yeah.
Yeah. I tried to put it on This is good. Yeah. Yeah.
I tried to put it on the ground and then Billy was like, uh, uh, uh, and then put it back.
Are you guys afraid of intimacy?
Emotional or physical?
Both.
Both.
Neither.
What about you, Billy?
What about this says you're comfortable?
I tried to take the pillow off.
He made me wear a jacket.
He said he wanted me to feel as uncomfortable as possible.
I was trying to think he started this by just sighing.
Just a deep sigh.
Well, you know.
That felt really nice.
That felt great for me.
We're wasting Casey's time.
Okay.
Casey produces like nine shows.
All right, Casey.
And we're trying to bank a ton of episodes so that we can take the time off for the holidays.
It's hard for you.
I feel like you shouldn't have accepted the job
if you couldn't handle it.
No, I can handle it. I just can't handle it without
sighing.
Let's get to know each other a little bit. Let's play some icebreakers
because I know you two very well.
You specifically very well.
And I know you separately pretty well.
I'm creating a sliding scale
because I've known Cecily since I was 17.
Why don't you guys all share your icebreaker fact?
I can solve a Rubik's Cube.
You can or cannot? Yeah, I can.
I cannot.
I cannot solve a Rubik's Cube.
I cannot solve a Rubik's Cube.
You can't solve it.
No, I can solve a Rubik's Cube.
How fast?
You used to be able to do it in under a minute, but I would need to brush up my skills.
Yeah.
Damn.
Well, we'll wait.
Well, I didn't bring it.
I think we do have one.
Okay.
If I could just take an hour or two to refresh,
and then I can come back in and solve it for you guys.
We're recording again at noon if any of you guys want to stay.
How long does it take to learn, to solve?
It probably took me like a couple days of,
there's like these algorithms you can memorize.
And it took me a couple days of memorizing those.
And then I would just be like.
So I had a lot of friends.
I was wondering.
High school.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But good for you.
I want to get like an all diamond Rubik's Cube.
So it's all the same color on every side no matter what.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I feel like you and I have the same trajectory of like into things that people don't care about dork in high school.
And now we're just like very sexual.
Yeah.
Now we're like, which, by the way, you've been really calling me out on Twitter for being horny.
So horny on me.
Say more about that.
Can't we?
Can't she?
No, you can.
It's just novel to me.
What's so horny about what I'm doing on Twitter?
Yeah.
Let's pull up your Twitter.
What's so horny about what I've been doing on Twitter? What's so horny about what I'm doing on Twitter? Let's pull up your Twitter. What's so
horny about what I've been doing on Twitter?
Followers? Billy, are you still
in a gainfully employed relationship?
Nine hours ago, you, which
at 1.30 in the morning, you tweeted
a grown divorce man with this
emoji.
That's accurate, too.
Oh my god. It is that that hand i need to delete that
question marks are sexy you like that yeah you do what's horny about that nothing horny about
a simple question i wear birkenstocks and i fuck can people please stop thinking they're
mutually exclusive uh i mean, that's just...
I think that's fact. The hottest men have
nightest terrors.
The hottest men have the nightest terrors.
That sounds like something you would have tweeted.
Well, that's why we're friends.
You also tweeted a picture of your ass
not that long ago.
What did you guys think of that? I got your opinion
on it, I think. Did you send it to me?
I might have showed it to you in person. I don't think i got your opinion on it i think did you send it to me i might have showed it to you in person i don't think i got my eyes on it i'm not really on twitter on a
daybed reading a book oh wait i did get my eyes on it david my ass i zoomed in that's all well
you wanted to see if there was hole yeah sometimes i'm like is it just a ken doll yeah we gotta see whole it's almost 2023 show whole we when we were shooting that uh we were doing the um
what's that what when we were when we were on that shoot on that day the photo it was me the
photographer and then like sort of my closest confidant. George? We had to create like a,
you know, we didn't have an intimacy coordinator.
So it was like anytime I took the trunks off, right?
It would have to be like balls
and then the photographer would turn around
and then I would say set
once like my dick was up and under me.
Up and under.
So did you like tuck it up like towards your belly well it
was it was exciting you're lying face down why did you have to tuck your dick because i was like
horny a little bit of course wait were you really on your nethers come on you had just read my
twitter and he couldn't keep it couldn't help it yeah yeah i mean emotional abstinence that is
there anything hotter jk i'm i'm anti-avoidant now.
No more.
I'm all for avoidance and emotional abstinence.
I think you should abstain from all emotion.
It will set you free.
How's your emotional body?
And how's your physical body?
Let's hear about that cock.
Jesus Christ.
I developed a wool allergy.
What?
Yeah, my eyes get all fucked up You can relate, I'm sure
Not even in a mean way, I feel like that bonds us
But yeah, I can no longer wear wool
on my body because then my throat
swells up and my eyes get bloodshot red
That does suck for you
because I feel like you're a big wool sweater head
I was, yeah.
I gave all my sweaters to my brother.
Like a hero.
Dempsey?
Yeah, Dempsey.
We should do the all brick up.
Yeah.
You, Dempsey, and what's your sister's name?
Ella.
Ella.
Cute.
Ella has cute names.
Ella's a heartbreaker name.
Yeah, she'd love this show.
I love brick.
I love brick.
Well, she's an adult.
Yeah. Okay, great. This is sparkling water. I think you have to be 18 to guess on this show. I love Brick. I love Brick. Well, she's an adult. Yeah.
Okay, great.
This is sparkling water.
I think you have to be
18 to guess on this show.
Yeah.
The subject matter's
pretty good.
I would say yeah.
Yeah.
But let's stop talking
about the underaged ones,
you know?
But if you could get
Tremblay, you wouldn't?
I would corner Tremblay
into saying something
cancelable on the show.
That'd be fun.
What the fuck was I about to say? Are you still dating? I am. Can we get into it? to saying something cancelable on the show. That'd be fun.
What the fuck was I about to say?
Are you still dating?
I am.
Can we get into it?
Thanks for asking now.
Yeah, you can get into it.
Long distance?
Yep.
So how's this cybering?
We can't get into it.
Is this person, your partner lives in Ontario?
She lives in New York.
Oh, New York City. So I'm trying to, yes, New York City.
She goes to the, well, no, she dropped it.
No, she goes.
She goes to the school that my old school by Celia Dan is based off.
Wow.
How'd y'all meet?
Through friends.
We met through a friend of a friend.
Is there anything hotter than meeting through a friend?
Says Lee. What? I'm sorry.
That's how I met Jeff.
Babe.
Do you guys want to talk about your love lives?
By the way, Jeff and I are dating. I just want to make that clear.
People
don't say that because people are going to DM you a lot.
It's a joke. I would never.
I wouldn't be caught.
Well, let's hang on a minute.
There could be like a twin flame situation going on.
I'm over it.
Did you say twin flame?
Next question.
Moving on.
Do you guys want to talk about your love lives?
Sure.
I just got out of a relationship.
Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.
Are you going to play a sound effect?
We all turned to you to make a sound effect.
Yeah, where's one sound effect for that?
Play like...
Okay.
Yeah.
That feels good.
I want to act surprised, but I did hear about that.
Of course.
Of course.
We run in the same circle, friend.
Yeah.
It's the season.
Cuff or don't.
Cuff don't.
Right.
Cuff don't. Cuff don't. Right. Cuff don't.
Cuff don't.
So Lucy and Cecily were dating two men who lived together.
Yeah.
They were dating roommates.
Yeah.
And now they're both gone.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They've been missing for weeks.
We can't find them.
So how's your like revenge era or?
Revenge era.
I'm not into revenge.
I'm more of like I'll let you go. You know what I mean? That's healthy. I've never been revenge. I'm more of like, I'll let you go.
You know what I mean?
I've never been like.
But if you do that, they're going to come back.
Well, and then I go, no, no.
And I go, no, no, no.
Yeah.
I think the thing about my friend Cecily is I've never met a more resilient.
And also, I think that there's kind of like a no return policy.
Yeah.
Interesting.
For her.
So you don't backslide.
Oh, no.
No, no, no.
Well, my thing is that I'll be like, here's a million chances.
Pshomp, pshomp, pshomp, pshomp, pshomp.
One second.
And then take a sip.
One second.
Yeah, okay.
Good time to take a sip.
I'll take a sip too.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Excuse me. Sorry. I'll take a sip too yeah okay alright uh excuse me sorry
oh I'll just give
a million chances
and then once
it's done
I'm like
it's like okay
I tried
and I
I let it go
when I say that's enough
no more
it's like a turn off
you know
that's honorable
thank you
yeah
they don't call me
Cecily honorable
for nothing
what's been the hardest
part of your guys' breakups?
And then, I'm sorry, one second.
Okay.
The flight patterns in this area are just fucked.
Case, can you tell me when we're clear?
We're clear.
Great.
Oh my god.
Okay, so hardest part of your breakups.
We should say,
Cecily, yours is very recent.
Yeah, mine's pretty recent. About a week ago.
Not even. Okay.
Wow, someone's... A week ago
tomorrow. Yeah. Wow.
Okay, everyone. Keep in dabs.
Everyone's keeping dabs.
I wasn't gossiping but i
heard wind heard wind yeah yeah it's on the wind certainly yeah so a week tomorrow was mine and uh
so far so good what's been the hardest part and then are you going out this weekend oh yeah
but you're not into revenge no i i was going going out before. Like, I like to have fun, you know?
That's fun.
That's my thing.
I want to dance.
I want to...
Thank you.
I got a scholarship for wanting to have fun.
Thank you.
Full ride.
Full ride for most fun girl.
What's the question?
What's the hardest part?
Yeah.
Well, the hardest part is, like,
it's kind of wild when you're with someone for a bit
and then you're like, okay, see you later. And then, again like it's kind of wild when you're with someone for a bit and then you're like okay see you later
and then again it's just like
I guess we'll never talk again
and I just met your family
so that's kind of hard
I wish it had happened before I went back for the holidays
that would have been sick
yeah that was a big fumble
would have really appreciated that happening before
having to meet everyone
Thanksgiving? yeah tough stuff tough stuff But I really appreciated that happening before having to meet everyone.
Thanksgiving?
Yeah.
Yeah, tough stuff.
Tough stuff.
But, you know, we live and we learn.
I'm just silencing my phone.
I'm sorry.
It's inappropriate for it to be buzzing right now.
Please take a moment of silence. Excuse me.
What does your necklace say?
Libra?
Yeah, of course it does.
Come on.
So how often do you see both sides of things?
Every single time I see both sides
like Chanel.
Holy shit.
I think that's what gets me into trouble
and just to make a seamless segue
plays into what
has been the hardest for me about my
conscious uncoupling.
You asshole.
You piece of shit. Uncoupling! i consciously uncoupled and the hardest part for
me because i'm a libra is like trying to make it so fair and be like it's not fair for me to be
angry or upset because like this is valid everything is valid yeah um but then also just being like oh he was so hot yeah it's such a shame
i'm a libra moon so i think that's what played a big part of me too i just was like well yeah
let's be fair about this like yeah maybe i'm not happy but but maybe i will be like let's just see
it through you know i'll give you a fair shake I can think of one thing that's not valid.
If that would help your guys' Libra mood and Libra song.
Yeah, tell us.
Speak on it.
Lucy's Beetlejuice-looking ass outfit right now.
Yeah, you like that?
Beetlejuice-looking ass.
Because you had a bad day.
You take me one down.
You say you're sad.
You can call me daddy.
Yeah, you can. I'm proud of my look today. Yeah, you can.
I'm proud of my look today.
Billy, you're a Scorpio.
What kind of freaky ass shit are you getting up to long distance wise?
Stop asking me that.
I'm genuinely sorry.
You're trying to reword the same question.
My girlfriend's also a Scorpio.
I don't know if that makes sense.
And we have the same rising as well.
Okay, that's good.
It's your birthday too, which makes things tough.
Yes.
What's the rising?
Leo, I think.
Okay, I'm a Leo rising.
Yeah.
You're a double Leo?
No, I'm a Pisces.
I forgot about that.
She's a Piscus.
I'm a Piscus.
We do have to move on.
Okay.
No, this was fun. Can I quickly say I to move on. Okay. No, this was fun.
Can I quickly say I'm loving Billie's outfit?
Billie's like a style icon.
I've truly changed the way I dress partially because
I met Billie. I want to change the way I dress
because of Billie. No, you've always had good style.
I had like basic style.
I don't need to change anything. What's that?
You're telling me I don't need to change anything.
Well, there's things to change.
Just don't say your change anything. What's that? You're telling me I don't need to change anything. Well, there's things to change. Oh, my God.
Just don't say your name three times.
Damn.
Damn.
I knew this would be a roast. Jeff, I know there's a pillow here, but...
I knew this would be a roast.
Walking into a roast.
Walking into a roast.
People lambasted me last week because I wore overalls on this show.
Oh, yeah.
People were like, what is Jeff wearing?
I'm like, you guys, wearing i'm like you guys what's
normal to you that's pretty fucking normal to me overalls cute paddington normalized overalls
is that what did it i thought so paddington is a fashion icon yeah does paddington wear
overalls i can't take this don't look me in the eye while you play it bond of the week
uh i don't remember if we did this.
I think we did this when you guys were on.
But basically, Daniel Craig is out as 007.
And every episode until...
I thought you meant like out.
Like he came out.
Sorry.
Excuse me.
Every week until the next James is cast, we're going to lob up our choice as Bond.
This week, my choice is Adam DeMarco.
Oh, my God.
Don't even get me started. Don't get me started. It's time for a kind Bond. A is Bond. This week, my choice is Adam DeMarco. Oh, my God. Don't even get me started.
Don't get me started.
It's time for a kind Bond.
A kind Bond who's not like, if you get with him, you're not going to die.
A white sneaker Bond.
Oh, yeah.
Frankie Muniz.
Is he your choice, Frankie Muniz?
Cody Banks returns.
Cody Banks comes back.
Oh, my God.
Cody Banks comes back.
Grown.
When I went to London when I was like eight with my family because my parents finally
had enough money to travel.
I didn't want to be there.
I wanted to be at home.
But the one poll that I was like, can we please do it is going to that haunted house moat
thing because it was an Agent Cody Banks 2.
Oh.
And then I chickened out.
You got scared.
Yeah.
You got scared. Well. You got scared.
Well, that's great.
Who are your guys' bonds of the week?
I'm going to have to go with Glenn Close.
I like that.
Glenn Close.
Tell me she couldn't nail it.
She absolutely could nail it.
I heard she does her own stunts.
Yeah, I'm not surprised.
Yeah.
Yeah, mine's going to be Steve-O because he does her own stunts. Yeah, I'm not surprised. Yeah. Yeah, mine's going to be Steve-O because he does his own stunts.
Can I hear your Steve-O doing Bond?
So just say the name is James, James Bond.
Oh, God.
I'm trying to remember his little high voice.
It's like kind of.
It's like Smoker's Lodge.
It's like, it's like, it's James Bond.
James Bond.
That's pretty good.
That's awesome.
You started yours.
I'm not going to finish my Steve-o, but I'm saying,
he always goes, yeah, dude.
Oh, wow.
That's amazing.
That's incredible.
What's the other guy in White Lotus's name?
Leo.
Leo James.
No.
Oh, he wouldn't be bad either.
Theo James would be good.
No, I'm talking the young British guy.
Oh, Leo Woodall.
Leo Woodall.
I like him.
Fucking deep hole.
He's in a bunch of
trouble that night.
He's doing a good job
on that show.
I really like him.
I think he's great.
I think everybody's
doing a great job
on that show.
I think everybody's awesome.
He's making a movie
or a show so hard
that it's like
once you've been there
I asked you if you wanted
to talk about it and you said not really. Say more about that. I asked you if you wanted to talk about it
and you said not really. Say more about that.
They're editing right now.
I think everybody's so good
in The White Lotus.
Please do. He's deflecting.
But I
also heard that Aaron Taylor's Johnson is
up for James Bond, potentially.
I don't know who that is. Aaron Taylor Johnson?
Kick-ass? Anya Taylor Joy? That's what I thought. That would be good, potentially. I don't know who that is. Aaron Taylor-Johnson, kick-ass.
Anya Taylor-Joy.
That's what I thought. That would be good, too.
Yeah.
That actually would be really good.
I think what I heard is Anya Taylor-Joy.
The ATJs.
No, I don't know who that is.
The ATJs.
Aaron Taylor-Johnson?
No.
He'd be great.
We have to move on.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
Happy to.
What makes Spanish...
Oh, okay.
What makes Spanish tortillas different than French toast, asks the tasting table.
It's all about the frying.
They're typically fried in olive oil instead of butter.
I don't understand what's going on.
I'm discomfited.
Spanish tortillas.
Tortillas?
Tortillas.
Or are you trying to say tortillas?
Tortillas. Tortillas with a J. Or are you trying to say tortillas? Tortillas.
Tortillas with a J.
It's like a French toast.
Okay.
But it's more of a Spanish toast.
Okay.
Fried in olive oil instead of butter.
Yum.
And there's tons of variations on this shit.
Okay.
Discuss.
What do you mean asks the tasting table?
Yeah.
Oh, it's like, you know, per the tasting table.
It's like the peanut gallery.
Yeah. Well, not really. Are you going home for the Pittsburgh? table yeah oh it's like you know per the tasting table it's like the peanut gallery yeah not well
not really are you are you going home for the pittsburgh am i going home for christmas yeah
i am okay you have a brother i do and i know him yeah you do you've met him a bunch of times i
guess you have a brother right yeah back to the tortilla, because I'm just trying to keep us on track, you guys. Right.
If I may digress for just a spell,
I'd love if Big Sis
could be like the house band for this show
for an episode. Don't play with me.
I'm not. I'll sign a contract right now.
We don't need you to do that. We just need you to show up
when I ask you to. I've agreed to do it.
When I ask you to. Oh my god.
Per the Wall Street Journal,
tensions grew at Salesforce between co-CEOs Benioff and Taylor ahead of leadership change.
What do we think?
Repeat that.
Yeah.
Tensions grew.
And this is the only one I'm going to repeat.
Oh, OK.
Tensions grew at Salesforce between co-CEOs Benioff and taylor ahead of leadership change right so co-ceo brett taylor announced his exit from the publicly traded
software company last week uh and i want to know what you guys think are you guys reading the trades
no
casey
uh it's a tragedy.
Yeah.
Benioff has a son who writes novels.
Is that true?
Yeah.
You actually knew that?
Yeah.
What kind of novels?
And I read one.
Erotica?
It was good.
No, I wish he wrote Erotica.
But I think that's all I have to say about it.
You know, follow your passions.
Follow your dreams.
Why not? Billy? I think they could about it. You know, follow your passions. Follow your dreams. Why not?
Billy?
I think they could work it out
because it says tensions grow.
Or did it...
Oh.
Oh, he didn't...
Sorry.
He didn't repeat it.
It's already happened.
It's done.
They grew.
Tensions grew.
The leadership.
What is this coming out, by the way?
Because it's not going to be yesterday's news.
This is all truly yesterday's news,
and this is coming out next Friday
Okay
It's a shame
I wish that more grown men
In positions of power
Could work out their
Issues in a safe and vulnerable setting
I'm worried about them
It's really hard for them
It's really tough
I'm worried about grown men in power as well.
Yeah.
That's awesome.
According to People Magazine, Beverly D'Angelo's
ex-husband gladly divorced her
so she could be with Al Pacino.
Sorry, her ex-husband's name is Gladly Divorced Her.
Gladly Divorced Her.
Nothing but air are we supposed to say something about that about the divorce this is charlize
theron says her kids are not exactly sure what she does for a living wait i think the al pacino
thing's funny yeah who do you get gladly broken up with slash divorced in order for your partner to... Oh, that's a great question.
Probably Nicholas Braun.
Really?
Yeah.
Because this guy said, quote, he's fantastic because he was an Italian man.
I think if the person I was dating wanted to marry Nicholas Braun, it has to be endgame, though.
Oh, yeah.
I'd be like 100%.
Of course you should.
You get succession money.
You get his apartment.
I think it's Houston you get that sky high money
which pays not only dividends but also residuals
because this guy was Italian
like Al Pacino was his hero
was the ultimate for him
but why are you and Nicholas Braun in the same category
because I'm half white
long list
you could have been
you tried to combine you and braun and thought
you'd get away with it actually i would say julian moore actually was one of my i was going to pitch
for james bond but that would be someone if the person was like look julian moore is it for me i'd
be like well of course of course like she's a. She's one of the best actors around and hot, timeless.
I think I would kill my partner before I let anyone else have them.
Are you jealous?
No, why would you say that?
No, I think it would be Glenn Close once again.
Glenn Close.
I'm having a big Glenn Close moment in my life.
I'm trying to think.
There's definitely somebody that I, like, would not be mad about.
Somebody I like so much.
But you'll have to get back to me on that.
Okay, we'll check in with you after the ad break.
We are going to circle back because I want to know your answer.
Yeah, I got to know.
I feel, I think I would be upset if they didn't have charm.
You know what I mean?
Like, they need a personality, too.
Because otherwise, I'm like, yeah, they're like personality too because otherwise I'm like yeah they're like
a dime but I'm like funnier than them
so
they would have to have it all
I'd much rather the other way
just then be like a basic like not funny person
you would not be jealous yeah
no
no sorry
the exact thing that you were saying
alright we do have to take a quick break and we'll be right back after No, sorry. The exact thing that you were saying.
All right, we do have to take a quick break, and we'll be right back after we thank some sponsors.
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Uh, we have two more pieces of news of the day
Charlize Theron says that her
kids are not exactly sure what she does
for a living
I mean she's not exactly
booking
I think she's booked and blessed
She's got J'adore
or whatever that perfume is
Remember that commercial where she's like walking in
She's like walking in gold Dio, she's like walking in gold?
Done.
Yeah.
You don't like her, do you?
You don't like her.
She's cool as hell.
No, I like her.
One of the most successful
actors on the planet.
Yeah,
has an Oscar.
Remember her in Monster?
I do.
It was so brave of her
to gain 30 pounds for that.
I know.
It was tough.
I'm waiting for the second
someone tells me
I need to do that.
Rapper DJ Khaled was bowled over, toilet bowled over, by the birthday gift Drake sent him.
Drake, thank you for this gift.
This is the most amazing toilet bowl I've ever seen in my life.
Oh my God.
Four of them, actually.
He couldn't stop playing with the lid, raving about the features.
Melissa, what's some of the features?
It has a UV light cleaning system. It got a UV light cleaning system.
It's remote control operated.
This top of the line Toto toilet retails for just over $20,000 each.
It's called the NeoRest NX2.
That looks uncomfortable.
Sounds like a fancy sports car. You don't have a back.
It actually feels like it when you're sitting on it.
Apparently, Drake is a toilet connoisseur.
Have you ever been at Drake's house?
His toilet bowls are incredible.
Another rapper recorded this one at Drake's,
operated by a touchpad.
And Drake himself once told rap radio
he's a toilet teacher features Tupac.
I don't know if you guys went to the toilet yet, but you know, the toilet plays Pac.
Toto exec Bill Strang says they even have a toilet called the Drake
that retails for just under 600 bucks.
This is a rush.
The Drake is cheap for you guys.
It is. It is. It is our workhorse.
And no, it's not made after this, Drake.
Next time Drake comes to visit DJ Khaled, at least he'll have a nice place to sit.
A nice place to shit.
Geniemos, CNN.
He needs seats too.
New York.
Okay.
Oh my God.
I think it's so sick that he won't go down on a woman,
but he'll like touch a toilet for fucking ever.
Yeah.
That's sick.
That's...
It's the enthusiasm for me.
Yeah.
DJ Khaled is always so enthusiastic about everything he's doing.
Yeah.
And he knows that we the best music.
Oh shit.
Oh shit.
Well, I guess, yeah, we have to move on anyways um we already played that game
welcome to too many squats to handle cool so the name of the game is too many squats to handle
it's vaguely based off the netflix show that shares the title um and uh but instead of like a bunch of hotties being shoved onto a
beach and not being able to hook up it's gonna be us having a squat contest because i feel like
three out of four of us have some of the greatest ass in the game absolutely who are you excluding
we know who's good yeah this is a video podcast. I wanted to make this a little medium.
And so I thought that it'd be fun if we are basically one by one in the hot seat.
Sorry, let me see what I wrote for this.
Oh, I said this one's a real stretch.
Okay.
One by one, each of us is going to be in the hot seat as we try to do as many squats as we possibly can.
One by one, each of us is going to be in the hot seat as we try to do as many squats as we possibly can.
As you're squatting, you're going to be bombarded by as many deeply personal questions as the others can muster for you.
I love this so much. The person with the most squats and the most questions answered wins either $100 cash or a dinner date with me.
$100 cash?
Wow.
You get to pick one or the other? You get to pick one or the other.
Cash.
No, dinner sounds great.
Are you paying for dinner? Yeah.
Yeah, you can get more than $100.
Okay, well I would hope that it would be
also like emotional value instead of
just like the cash. Yeah, of course.
Okay.
So is this the concept of the show or is this what
you're trying to have us do
this is what we're
about to do
I'm gonna go last
because there's no way
this lasts more than
two people
you think it's gonna
fall off the rails
become really
no I think it'll be good
serving real Scorpio
energy today
I really love it
you fucking asshole
okay
anybody wanna go first I can start us off I can go first why don't you start us off yeah You're having real Scorpio energy today. I really love it. You fucking asshole. Okay.
Anybody want to go first?
I can start us off.
I can go first. Why don't you start us off?
Yeah.
What are the rules?
The rules are you have to go for as many squats as you can handle.
And then everyone else will sort of ask deeply personal questions.
And for every squat is worth one point.
Every personal question is worth two points.
Is there a time limit?
No. It's literally squat until you points. Is there a time limit? No.
It's for how long?
It's literally squat until you drop.
Can I ask a question?
Yeah.
How much would I derail things if I said I have to pee really bad?
Oh.
Lucy, we took a break.
We took a commercial break.
That was sort of your break.
Okay.
Let's do the squats.
I just want like, yeah.
Because it's like, it's only 45 minutes.
I understand.
And I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for voicing my needs.
No, it's okay.
You don't have to be sorry.
Just like don't pee.
You know what I mean?
That's fair.
Let's do the squats.
No, you can go pee right now.
You're going to give her a UCI.
Oh my god.
I don't get UCI.
Cranberry juice in the fridge.
There's a reason why we got it.
This has happened before.
I'm gonna go too.
Yeah.
I'm gonna go too.
Okay.
Oh.
Whatever.
See ya.
Well, I was gonna cut this out,
but now that it's just the boys.
Yeah, kind of a,
yeah, cool like,
side thing.
I'm gonna cut this out.
Alright.
Very, very mean to me.
Alright, I'm gonna start this off. Oh my god Very mean to me. All right.
I'm going to start this off.
Oh, my God.
Like, do the squad.
Whatever.
Do the squad.
I'm stalling.
All right.
Do you guys have personal questions lined up?
No.
I actually think.
You're not.
You didn't come prepared?
I do think that we should actually keep it to a time limit because.
You said I'm not.
You can't change the rules now. No.
Because otherwise, I think I could go all day.
I could too.
Me too.
I know, and we only have
like 18 more minutes.
Okay.
So, let's
Okay, so we'll just
six minutes each, I guess.
Six minutes.
Six minutes each, I guess.
You're trying to get out of doing it.
No.
Let's do three minutes.
How many squats we can do
in three minutes?
Okay.
I will also say that
I texted each of you guys
individually last night
being like, do you like eggnog?
I did.
And this is the healthy segment that I came up with instead.
Great.
All right.
This was the...
Oh, this was...
What was the eggnog segment?
The eggnog segment, I don't want to say because it's going to be on next week's episode.
Okay.
All right.
All right, so should we just round robin the personal questions so we can keep it going?
I think let's just...
Yeah, let's not no order.
Just if something comes to you, then let's go for it.
Okay.
All right.
What is your deepest fear?
My deepest fear is, like,
not accomplishing the things that I want to accomplish.
Or I get to start a timer.
Yeah.
And are we supposed to be counting the squats?
Casey, are you keeping up with the points?
Because I certainly am not.
With how many squats are being done?
Sure, yeah, I'll keep track.
Thank you.
Okay.
No questions.
My deepest fear is dying having not accomplished the things that I want to accomplish.
Who broke your heart the most in your life?
Oh, that's a really good question.
I've never been broken up with, but I will say that my high school...
Who is the bridesmaid?
Breaking up with my high school sweetheart was pretty painful because it was the first time I was that sad.
What's your worst childhood memory?
I'm not going to say that.
But yeah, my parents had a really bad argument once.
Okay.
How do you feel about the fact that your worst fear is likely to come true?
I guess bad.
Worst date you've ever been on?
Oh, my God.
I have an answer for this.
I, well, it wasn't a date.
I just, one time I made out with somebody in college,
and we were about to have sex,
and then it was so bad that I actually walked her home.
The make out was so bad.
Okay, good to know.
Yeah.
Do you think you're a good lover?
Yes.
Oh my God.
Okay, guys, let's keep it rolling.
That's going to be a lot.
This is so much.
What are we at?
Which family member do you dislike the most?
Which what?
Which family member do you dislike the most? Which what? Which family member do you dislike the most?
Oh, my God.
I guess my grandmother.
Damn.
Speak it.
Speak it.
She's really judgmental.
When's the last time you felt truly insecure?
That's an amazing question.
Huh.
Jesus Christ.
This is a lot.
Why did I do this?
I can't wait. Oh.
I just shot a... Well, I don't want to talk about it.
There was
a time recently where I was like, oh, I'm the least funny
person in this room.
How does it feel for that to still be true?
This isn't a roast, Lucy.
What was your childhood fear?
I'm going to just get back to the childhood.
Everyone has one.
Yeah.
It's not like...
Three minutes is a lot.
It's not like PC to say Oh my god
Why did you stop yo-yoing?
Why did you stop yo-yoing?
Because I kept coming in like
Second to last place
At every contest I went to
Nothing worse
Were you into magic as a kid?
Yes
The gathering or like tricks?
Tricks.
Tricks.
Okay.
Yeah, that tracks.
How much more time does he have?
There's 18 seconds.
I'm scared for you.
Okay.
What do you think is your worst quality?
I think that I am a bad,
I'm not the most loyal friend.
Wow.
It really gets hard not to be honest.
Because you're done.
Your body is, you got nothing but the truth left.
Oh, we're doing this?
We could all just not do this.
Jeff is the only one.
Which I'm game for.
Damn, 108 squats.
That was a lot.
Alright, loose.
Alright, here we go. Timer.
Oh, okay.
There we go. Go.
Who would you seek revenge on?
I'll bleep out their name, but first and last. My 8th grade math teacher, Ms. ****.
Yes! How many people have you had sex with in your life?
Probably about ****.
That's awesome.
Have you been to a sex party?
No, regretfully.
Do you want to go to a sex party?
Yeah.
Okay.
That's what regretfully means, Jet.
Do more short.
Most left of center kink.
What do you mean by left of center?
Craziest.
Ooh, I think like a bunch of dudes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like I'm scared of it, but I also am like, hmm, what would that be like?
Who's your closest friend that you want to fuck?
First and last name.
Oh, shit.
Ooh.
Yes. Yes.
Where's the wildest place you've hooked up? Um, in the NYU law school courtyard. Oh my God. Um, what is your biggest insecurity? Um, that everyone thinks I'm,
I'm really scared. I think some really fucking annoying. Oh, never.
Sorry.
Physical or?
No.
Yeah, least favorite body part.
The left side of my face.
Uh-uh.
It's beautiful.
Okay, this is not good for me.
It's nice to have a best friend on the boards.
You're so comfortable asking me a bunch of questions.
No problem.
What is it?
That you just met?
Yeah, it is.
Would you ever
straighten your hair?
Oh, yeah.
Who is someone
you would tell off right now?
Your ex-boyfriend.
I really thought
she was going to say me
because this is about
when my knees
started to shake.
God, there's a minute left,
by the way.
Yeah, you have a minute
and ten seconds left.
What's something you wish
you could change about yourself but you know you never will?
Whoa.
Wow.
I wish I was more outspoken about my needs.
Wow.
Wow.
That's, you can, yeah.
Fucking, what's, guys.
What?
What's your biggest dream that you'd like to have come true?
Yeah.
White Lotus season three.
Nice.
What's your intention for 2023?
Be more luxurious.
Oh.
Who would you hook up with on White Lotus?
Lucia.
Duh.
And the dad.
Oh, yeah.
Christopher.
Yeah, Christopher.
All right, 23 seconds left.
If you could live anywhere except for L.A., where would you live?
Fucking Lake Cuomo.
Of course.
First and last name of the best lover you've ever had.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Ooh. I don't want you've ever had. Ooh. Ooh.
I don't want to say his name.
No.
Oh, I know who it is.
No, you don't.
Oh.
All right, you're done, you're done, you're done.
How many was that, Casey?
That was 92 squats.
Yes!
But how many personal questions?
Yeah, what about the personal?
Oh, so the game.
So we got to start again.
We got to do it over. I think we got to do another round. There's no way. Because we're not counting the points. You didn't count the personal? Oh, so we gotta start again. We gotta do it over.
I think we gotta do another round.
There's no way.
Because we're not counting the points.
I can do it in post.
The squats and the points.
You can't let me know who won in post.
I don't know where I'm gonna do my squats.
You have to do it off camera.
Not show cooch.
Here, do it.
If you wanna do it off camera,
you're welcome to.
Do it into my mic, Seth,
so that your butt is facing me. Okay. This works. Okay, do it or you can do it. If you wanna do it off camera, you're welcome to. Do it into my mic, Seth, so that your butt is facing me.
Okay.
This works.
Okay, yep.
No one look.
No one look. I also, for all of these,
I'm gonna use the camera angles that don't show off her ass.
Okay. Sorry, audience.
All right, three, two, one, go.
Who is too hot to handle amongst your friend group?
Fuck.
Oh!
Don't put this up.
Don't put this up. Too hot to handle among our friend group. Oh, fuck. Don't put this up. Don't put this up.
Too hot to handle among our friend group.
Oh, no.
Once again.
Who did you ever want to fuck any of your ex's close friends?
Yes.
Who?
No, I could not handle this.
Holy shit. I wanted to handle this. Holy shit.
I wanted to fuck... Oh, God.
Oh, this is hard.
I wanted to fuck...
Which makes no sense whatsoever now.
What most famous person you've ever kissed?
Oh, God.
I don't know if I've kissed anyone famous.
I'm the famous one.
What is your biggest...
What is your biggest insecurity?
Um,
that
I don't go for what I want.
And I hold myself back.
I think you do go for what you want.
Okay, thanks, girl.
Thanks, girl.
I want it to be known
that Billy didn't ask you
any questions
and he has yet to ask so slickly. I, girl. I want it to be known that Billy didn't ask you any questions and he has yet to ask
Cecily a question.
I don't think I'm going to
participate in this game.
Cecily,
would you ever go brunette?
Yeah, I would.
When?
For a fucking role
that I'd get an Oscar for.
No, no, no.
Before the role, when?
Before when?
Before the role, when?
What do you mean, when?
Like, now?
Like, you're going brunette. We've decided it. Win.
Today. Got it.
Where do you think you rank in the hotness
of all your closest friends? That's
a really good way to put it. Me.
And then you
have to list who your closest friends are before you
do this. Fuck, this is gonna get
hard. Yeah.
Minute ten left. Yeah. Minute ten
left.
Third.
Behind who?
Behind who?
Lucy.
No.
If you won
the lottery,
who's someone
close to you
that you
wouldn't tell
because you
don't trust
them?
What?
Fuck.
Have you ever
had a sex
room about Jeff? Yes. Fuck. Have you ever had a sex room about Jeff?
Yes.
Sorry.
It's all right.
I have to.
We can be honest here.
We can be honest here.
Ideal haircut for your husband.
That's not a hard one.
All you care about is hair.
I'm just trying to keep it rolling.
You guys aren't saying anything.
I'm okay.
You have a bun.
And you're asking about hair. I'm just trying to keep it rolling. You guys aren't saying anything. I'm okay. You have a bun, and you're asking about hair.
What would you like to die from?
That's a really good question.
Having so much sex.
That, honestly, your track record?
Possible.
Yeah.
Would you ever, if you gave up on acting, what would you do?
Die. Okay, good. And then we have one more. Would you ever eat human flesh? if you gave up on acting what would you do? die
would you ever eat human flesh?
if I had to
yeah to survive
how many was that Casey?
98
fuck
come on man I was going off the whole time
I'm not gonna have to
each pay me 33 dollars
I was hoping he'd get two more to break 100 Oh my god. The whole time. I'm not going to have to each pay me $33.
This is great.
Casey's lying.
I was hoping he'd get two more to break 100.
Yeah.
Casey's lying to help Jeff win. You're fucking lying, Casey.
No.
Jeff.
Okay, you guys were doing full squats.
Jeff was kind of doing half squats.
Yeah, Jeff was doing half squats.
Was I?
Yeah, you were barely.
Let's cut Jeff's score in half.
In half?
Yeah.
I'll allow it.
That was hard. Jeff. You too. I'll allow it. That was hard.
Jeff.
You too.
I'm glad.
Is that a tie?
You tie?
No, Cecily beat me.
Oh.
Wait, I thought you had 98 too.
I think I had 92.
92.
Oh.
Because I was spotting low.
You're just flat out not going to do it.
I don't know, man.
I don't know.
It feels like.
Come on.
I don't want to play this game.
And I agree with you
it's not
fun to do
but
this is all going on the internet
and then if you don't do it
people are going to think
you're boring
I understand that
it's like when Shaq did Hot Ones
and everyone's like
oh he
like I'm going to do that
the thing is like
he knew what the show was
before he
he signed up for it
and you didn't
I didn't
yeah
yeah
alright
well
Scorpio
very Scorpio
do not want to share um I don't. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well. Scorpio. Very Scorpio.
Do not want to share.
I don't want to do either part of the game.
I don't want to do squats, and I don't want to answer personal questions.
You said you designed this game specifically for us?
The boy said no.
Yeah.
I had to outline two full episodes last night, so I was just like, yeah, we'll do that.
Yeah.
No, it's good.
It's great.
I came out with the title before anyone else. Too many
squats. I think that's a sick party game, actually.
I would play that again right now.
Me too. That was good.
I thought it was a great party game, yeah.
People can make fun of me on the internet. I don't care.
Wouldn't be the first time.
That was too many squats to handle.
It's weird that I won.
That doesn't really feel like fair.
You were doing half squats.
I have to check the video because it did not feel like that.
You weren't giving.
I wasn't putting my whole chest.
Also, your knees were going over your ankles, which is poor form.
Which is poor form.
So your form was bad.
Our form, good.
Your ankles were bad, too.
Yeah.
The ankle to Blundstone ratio is so off.
Oh my God.
This guy's wearing Nike with Blundstone.
The whole city goes crazy.
Oh my God.
Then I guess, then Cecily, you win.
Oh, sick.
I thought your squats were pretty good, Jeff.
You won $100.
I really needed to fucking hear that.
Because we know you don't want to go on a date with Jeff.
I'm really strapped for cash right now.
Literally crying.
Because of Christmas shopping.
So you're already saying no to the dinner?
He's like, no, I can't.
No, we'll talk.
Okay.
I love how Jeff won and we're all just like, no, he didn't.
No, he didn't.
I won.
I truly currently don't have $100 in my bank account.
But I will Venmo you in the next couple of days.
And then I will put that Venmo transfer on the video.
Yeah, tell me more facts about it.
Tell me the logistics more.
It's not going to happen.
It's not going to happen.
Again, you design these games.
You have full control over the entire show.
If you didn't have $100, you should have just made the prize less.
Well, I thought I was going to win.
Oh, my God.
You needed the money.
Yes!
I need the cash!
Who was going to give you $100?
Yeah, we had to give you money.
I would just, like, you know,
put it on my time...
Put it on my time card
and call it hosting the HeadGum Podcast
or something.
Do you have a green phone?
What's that?
Do you have a green phone? Yeah. that? Do you have a green phone?
Yeah. Can I see it?
Oh, sorry. You cracked the screen on purpose.
In his bare hands.
Can I move this table back? Yeah.
So I can put my drink down. We're about to
wrap up, but yeah.
Yeah, go ahead, Billy.
It's gonna be a nightmare to edit
because of all this shit.
I feel like I smell.
I definitely smell. I smell. Well's the least you can do, Billy. I feel like I smell. I definitely smell.
I smell.
I always smell.
Well, we did all just do 100 squats.
Guys, we've made it through another episode of the HeadGum Podcast.
Thank you so much for coming at 10 a.m. on a Thursday when you have a hard out and you have a hard out both at 11.30.
Me too.
I also have to go.
Where do you go?
Well, to work.
Sweet.
To the house.
Yeah, to the house.
Cecily makes over $100,000 a year.
Let's
plug. What do you guys have going on?
What do you want to point the people to?
The fours, yours, let's start with Cecily.
Let me think.
I'm on an episode of The Dropout, if you haven't
seen it yet. They've seen it.
They've seen it.
I've gotten DMs about seeing you on that.
Oh, my God.
I'm in a show.
I have a show with Lucy called Titty Committee.
Our next show is going to be February, first Thursday of the week.
And just follow me on at Cecily Bro on Instagram and TikTok.
Hell, yeah.
Same thing, Titty Committee show.
And my socials are at Lucy Blee.
I'm looking right down the barrel.
Also, I'm doing other stand-up comedy shows around the city,
and I will be hopefully putting out a sitcom.
Not anytime soon, but hopefully it gets made soon.
It will.
That's what I'm saying.
So watch the miniseries of it online at Oversharing.tv and
follow my band, Big Sis.
Yeah.
Big Sis is great.
Billy?
Um, I made a movie
with my friend that
I'm really excited
about, but it's not
coming out soon, so
when it does, I'll
have Jeff post it.
Jeff will be posting
about it a lot, So that's, yeah.
Keep an eye out for that, hopefully.
I'll be posting about it a lot?
Yeah.
I have a social media brand.
Yeah, I know.
All right.
Jeff won't be posting about it.
I'll come back.
I'll come back on the show.
You'll come back.
Yeah.
And you're about to go to that office right now, don't you?
Mm-hmm.
Can I come?
Shh.
Oh.
At Jeff Boyardee on Twitter,
at Jeffrey James on Instagram.
Thank you guys for listening to this episode of the show,
and happy holidays.
Happy holidays.
Happy holidays.
Happy holidays.
This whole thing was Daz. that was a
Hidgum original