The Headgum Podcast - 135: Regrets and Resolutions 2 (w/ Billy Scafuri!)
Episode Date: December 30, 2022Billy Scafuri (No Joke podcast), Amir, and Brad join Geoff to discuss Drake's engagement ring chain, lucky baby names, and New Year's resolutions! The Pit Wall has been greenlit! Subscribe on... your favorite podcast app so you don't miss new episodes dropping every Wednesday after a race. Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fm Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts. Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Spotify. Join the Headgum Discord.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Original.
Previously on the HeadGum Podcast.
Not Neil Diamond.
Neil Diamond!
No, that's all. Yeah, that's fine.
Yeah, no.
Not Neil Diamond.
I know.
That's okay.
I know.
Should we see...
I was just clarifying.
Should we see what Ferris' case would have been?
Yeah. Number eight, Ferris' case would have been? Yeah.
Number eight, Ferris' case.
Neil Peart!
The drummer from Rush.
Yeah.
That would have been Ferris.
What?
Not really.
Not really.
You know what, Amir?
Out of all fucking episodes,
for you to give me a little something,
this would have been one of the episodes
you could have thrown me a fucking bone.
I'm sick, man.
I said we shouldn't play.
I said you should rest.
In the books.
I don't know what else to say.
Let's get this shit over with because we all have New Year's Eve to get to.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, you usually
date it to when we record.
So it's cool to see you thinking about
because right now it's December 13th.
Just a Tuesday afternoon.
So much
will also happen between now and the 30th.
Wow.
Fun of the week this week is Guy Fieri.
Should we say he's on the show?
Oh, yeah, we got Billy Scafuri back on again.
Brad Hilde making his return after a month's long hiatus, really.
And Amir Blumenfeld, who just recorded with Adam DeMarco from White Lotus.
Did I miss anything?
Oh, my God, man.
Just a peek behind the curtain. Let's see if we can get this episode done in 30 minutes. My turn, anything? Oh my god, man. Just a peek behind the curtain.
Let's see if we can get this episode done
in 30 minutes. My turn, my turn, my turn.
Peek behind the curtain. Right before
we hit record, Jeff said, I have to edit
this thing immediately.
If you find Jeff operating
with pace today, listeners, that's why.
I think I'm operating with patience.
No. Do you have a flight in
three hours or something? Yeah, I'm going with patience. No. Do you have a flight in like three hours or something?
Yeah, I'm going to Basque.
Where?
I'm going to Basque.
In the sunlight?
London.
London.
I've got a flight to catch to Basque in Paris.
That's really funny.
That's really funny.
He tells himself.
Brad, who's your Bond of the Week, man?
Uh, Harry Potter.
That's a fictional character.
You win.
Well, Daniel Radcliffe.
It's time for a Bond-y with a wand-y.
That's good.
That was really good.
Let's go.
Did you have that prepped?
No.
My wife has been re-listening to all the Harry Potter audiobooks.
It's time for a Bondy with a wandy.
So in James Bond's next movie, he has a wand.
Harry Potter is James Bond.
So it's Daniel Radcliffe as James.
As Harry James Potter as James Bond. So it's Daniel Radcliffe as James. As Harry James
Potter as
James Bond. Nice.
Harry James Bond Potter. That's really good.
That's one of the best Bonds of the week.
Sorry, shut the fuck up.
Don't interrupt me. You could have just said Bond with a wand.
Amir!
That's one of the best Bonds
of the week recently, Brad.
And the fact that it wasn't even planned is incredible.
Well,
it feels sour by that interaction,
but that was really satisfying.
It's hard.
Like a seventies dad.
It's hard for my body not to react to that.
Like I know it didn't mean anything,
but my fight or flight,
you can't tell
your brain that that meant nothing.
Barry Bonds.
That's really good. James Bonds.
It's time for a Bonds with a
Bonzi.
Yeah.
Oh, what about
Bonzi Wells?
Bankman Freed, and it's time for a Bonzi scheme?
That's good.
Pretty good.
Also good.
It's time for a Bonzi with a Ponzi.
Yeah.
I wonder where Bankman Freed
will be on December 30th
like we are right now.
Oh, no.
I got a third Bond of the Week.
Nobu Matsuhisa.
It's time for a Bond Zoo.
Like Ponzu. it's time for a bond zoo like ponzu did you just wipe your mouth or are you buying yourself time
in that moment Jeff
a little bit of both I had some vanilla ice cream before this
to kind of get the glucose
Brad how's your
how's your life I haven't talked to you in a couple months
I do see a Van Leeuwen bag
so the ice cream thing might not be a joke
did you host mates Van Leeuwen bag, so the ice cream thing might not be a joke. Did you host mates Van Leeuwen? It's already pretty expensive, so I can only imagine
that's like a $20 to $40 pint of ice cream you had delivered. My roommate got that delivered.
I just had a quart of Breyers. A quart? I didn't eat a quart, but I have a quart in the freezer.
I had like three bites. 1.30 p.m. rolls around and you're like,
it's time for my Breyers.
There's Breyers ice cream in the fridge at the office.
Vanilla, is that yours?
No, that's Dreyer's.
And I'm not even, no, no, that's Eddie's.
Did you get that ice cream too?
He spent like $150 on dairy
the last time I was on this podcast.
It was, I posted a picture of it.
Oh yeah, well, spoiler alert.
Yeah, it has a dairy-rich episode coming up.
Spoiler just for me.
Cost him like 150 bucks.
There's dryers and there's briars.
There's dryers in the freezer at the office.
Did Adam ask about that?
He didn't notice.
I looked at it before he arrived
and thought of it after he had left.
Let's keep it going.
I'm the only one trying to force any energy into this.
I think Billy's coming in with some energy.
Brad looks, I guess, hindered.
And Amir looks tired from the previous record.
Hindered?
What's that? What do you mean by hindered it looks like something's
holding you back and i i don't know if i should dive into that or if i want to give you your
privacy well you asked me how i was and then we started talking about ice cream for like two
minutes so okay um i'm good by the way really yeah um what's the best thing that's happened to you
in the past 16 weeks?
I booked a trip to LA
next month.
Well, I guess next month if this is the 30th.
We should hang, man.
I'm down, but I am gonna
I just have to warn you I'm doing a
No, I was talking to Billy in a mirror.
Solid.
That was really good. And we are playing Hangman.
Yeah.
Brad is low-key in fuego right now.
He is on fire, though.
All his jokes are just landing.
He's heating up.
Let's see if the next show plans.
Billy, how is your sex life?
Because you just moved to Highland Park,
and I'm wondering if the move sort of reignited the spark
between you and...
I've actively been trying to be a kinder guest to you
the past couple times.
But these are the moments where you trigger the worst in me.
You trigger the worst in me with questions like this.
So let's just move on and I'll maintain my positive energy
and good vibes.
Okay. Amir, what about you?
I'm doing well.
I hit a game-winning three
with Billy on Sunday.
Billy passed me the ball and I hit a three
and the game ended on it.
And I said game when he shot it,
which makes it extra cool.
Before it even went in?
Yeah, you shot it, it was in the air,
and I said game.
It felt so good.
That's awesome.
I wish I heard the game part of it.
Well, now you did.
That's cool.
I'm sure other people heard it.
It would have been risky if I had bricked it bad,
and you said game.
Yeah.
I'd look like an idiot.
Everyone would tease me.
Jesus.
Good job by you.
Jesus Christ.
Jeff, you're really bringing your knees into the frame.
Well, it's hard, you know?
Like, I have to face the light,
but this is a couch that's, like,
obviously facing this way, so I'm sitting down.
What's that?
There's plenty of seating.
Why are you?
Why are you sitting like that? Why am I sitting like. Why did you, why are you? Why are you sitting like that?
Why am I sitting like that
or just why do I exist?
Why are you?
Why?
Period.
Let's keep shit going.
You know,
like I said,
this is coming out December 30th.
LeBron's birthday.
LeBron James' birthday
is December 30th.
He's still turning.
38.
You're turning 40.
Right.
I was talking about LeBron.
Yeah.
Tiger Woods too.
Also on the 30th?
Yeah.
That's interesting.
The two goats born on the same day yeah that's interesting the two goats born on the same day
it's interesting
because like
every time Brad and Billy talk
it's like a release of dopamine
because I like to hear
what they have to say
and then every time
Amir talks
it's like
the inverse of that
it's like
instant like
seasonal affective disorder
but the same
drama music
yeah
I'm him
slash
the season do you think um'm him slash the season.
Do you think,
um,
Oh Holy Night ever takes a moment to be like,
I'm really him.
Is Oh Holy Night a him or a Carol?
That light looks violent on your face right now,
Jeff.
It looks like that would be uncomfortable for me.
Violent light.
Holy hilled.
Scufury.
Amir's cock.
You should have said my last name.
Brad hilled.
Scufury.
Blooming filled.
Brad, can you say something?
I agree with Amir.
I think that would have been better.
I think you kind of dropped the ball on the song on the day.
I think you dropped the ball on the song slash day.
Just in general on this day.
December 30th. End of the year.
Even though we're not on our holiday
break just yet. Everyone
else pretty much is. Some people might be working
but you know, I feel like people
don't have as much time
to listen to this shit anyways.
So let's see if we can squeeze this episode
in in 30 minutes. Right?
What are we at right now?
We're at 11. And we have a lot to get to.
Bad attitude to have.
I think it's a helpful attitude
to have. Because like people are
fucking busy. New Year's Eve is tomorrow.
People have
resolutions that they need to like lock
in. People have parties.
Maybe people want to get away.
They're visiting home.
They want to get away from their family.
They want to listen to their favorite podcast,
and it's this fucking show for some reason.
What are you doing for New Year's?
Let's say that.
Or for the holidays.
Me?
Yeah.
You're not from Portland.
No, we're not.
We don't really have any friends here,
so we're going to find something to do.
Not to bring the vibe down,
but we don't have...
Maybe do a scavenger hunt for friends.
How does one go about that?
I don't know.
Maybe you...
I'm just shooting from the hip here
to try and give you New Year's plans,
but maybe you list 10 different types of people you want
in your social circle for 2023.
That could get dangerous.
And then you go out and see who could find them.
Brad, one of George's friends from Cincinnati lives in Portland,
and I met her a couple months ago, and I was like,
oh, she just moved there too, and she's trying to make friends.
And I was like, you would vibe with my friend Brad, who lives in Portland.
Yeah, I'm good that was so fast uh let's take it into news of the day
um Drake considered proposing 42 times and memorialized exes with a chain featuring 42 diamond engagement rings.
That's way too many.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sell the rings.
He thought about proposing 42 times to this one lady?
So much so that he, no, to 42 different people,
so much so that he bought them fucking rings and then didn't ask
and then kept the rings and put them on a chain.
Are you listening?
He 42 times bought an engagement ring and then never, ever gave them out.
And then to memorialize the 42 times he put them on a chain.
Imagine going to buy ring 37.
Yeah.
This is going to change things.
This one will be different. Yeah. This is going to change things. This one will be different.
Yeah.
Five more rings.
I don't believe that story, quite frankly.
Okay.
Well, it's per Complex, and Billy and Amir, you guys did a project for Complex.
So unless you think everything Complex does is bullshit, I think you would believe the headline, right?
Or was...
The series never came out.
It kind of was bullshit in the end yeah like complex
ended up selling to this other company
that ended up shuttering down yeah it
was like a right-wing comedy company it
was getting pretty funny yeah what was
it rated red yeah and their homepage was
just like a cowboy trying to catch a
chicken and we're like all right well
that's fun here yeah like, all right. Well, that's funny. Yeah, it was all right. It was pretty funny, actually.
GQ reports that in our hyper-niche style era,
there's a core for everyone, right?
There's cowboy core, gorp core, cottage core,
norm core, et cetera.
So I wanted to talk about what each other's cores are, right?
Norm. Yours is norm core yeah because i sort of thought yours was like dialysis core
just in terms of like the wiry grays nice and the overall air of stray that has to do with kidney failure. What's that? My hair being gray.
I just feel like you look ill most of the time.
You look at ease and also like, you know,
it seems like when you go home at night,
you have to plug yourself into a machine.
Jeff, can you give us all of our cores?
You gave Amir his dialysis core.
What kind of core are you giving him?
Billy, I feel like your athleisure core,
it's definitely elevated.
It's not like Lululemon nonsense,
but the other day you were wearing that
boar's head meat sweatshirt.
It was kind of vintage.
And then the pants, which are not tight-fitting,
but tailored.
Can you guys hear that?
Yeah, it sounds like a train.
Yeah.
I moved to a canyon to not have this kind of shit.
And I feel like I have half a mind to open the window and say, stop that.
This dude's trimming hedges.
That's fine.
No, it's not.
LA's full of creatives.
Like there's someone.
Oh my God, dude.
Shut up.
Brad, you're Climcor.
Climcore?
I guess.
I thought you would really like that.
You're Crunchcore.
Which honestly sounds like a cereal.
This guy sucks!
Stop!
Stop!
He's doing his job.
You're doing yours.
Some better than others. is is legitimately harder yeah he is getting actually a really close shave it's kind of visual asmr in a way
um i'm either i think i'm dumb core you're sort of baggy core you wear really baggy loose fitting clothes
i'm wearing like the bruce springsteen jeans right now though well not really actually but like yeah
look how much excess fabric is in the shirt like take your pants off it probably goes all the way
down to your knees there's so much fabric there's it's a fucking blouse it's a parachute there's so
much excess fabric you're supposed to do the bag
the big shirt with the fine pants
Jerry Seinfeld
that's basically Jerry Seinfeld
I'd label you clumsycore too
the last two times I've been in person with you
the room has been a mess
like a five year old
just like spills and like
stains that weren't cleaned
okay okay let's uh let's rein it in um
with the messy shit uh although there is a ring light that fell that i didn't bother to pick up
over there that's kind of still on are you wearing white sneakers i'm not wearing any shoes because i'm not a fucking monster in
the house monster in the house i'm not having shoes on free that was a cory's in the house
cory's in the house i don't know but it really either got him or he made him go to a place.
Not only did that not work at all, you guys don't even know what the reference is to know how wrong it was.
Okay, Brad knows.
I know what Corey's in the house is.
Here are the 10 luckiest baby names of 2022.
Let's kick things off with Raphael.
Luckiest?
Yeah, there's also Lakshmi.
This is per Parents Magazine.
Felix?
Like these kids got good news
in their first year or something? What makes
them lucky? Does it explain? Does
people explain? It says, need some
inspiration? Psychic Inbal Honigman partnered with... Ah, wait! them lucky does it does it explain does people explain uh it says need some inspiration psychic
in ball honig man partnered with ah wait need some inspiration psychic in ball honig man partnered
with online casinos.co uk now we're getting somewhere and four bears.io to compile the most popular lucky baby names of 2022. Some of the names literally
translate to lucky, like Eamon and Sadia, while others have an association with luck. For example,
Iris, derived from the Greek word for rainbow. No matter which one you choose, your child might
be rewarded with hope, serendipity, and good fortune. And it's rafael lakshmi felix said s-a-i-e
or s-a-i-d maybe it's saeed uh ganesh uh sadia amen and uh iris and Daniel and Daniel
and Gray
I really want to get the Apatow sisters on this show
I feel like that would be funny
very good luck
yeah good luck
there's no way
nor would it be a good episode
how would you reach out what would your email say they're nice and you suck Nor would it be a good episode. Really?
How would you reach out?
How would you reach out?
What would your email say?
They're nice and you suck.
Well, my friend is loose friends with Iris.
So I'd probably be like,
yeah, like they've hung out a couple times. She was almost in a movie that he did,
that he produced.
She was like attached and then she had a conflict.
Loose is a tough word before friend.
Yeah, I was a loose friend.
That's my only inside track.
We're as thin as thieves.
According to USA Today, why can't we be friends?
Lack of social contact harms Americans' mental and physical health.
So my question is, Amir, how do you deal with social isolation?
I don't have social isolation.
That's funny.
I'm in constant contact with dozens of friends.
Both socially and digitally.
Can confirm.
Brad?
Help.
Help me.
He's sticking up for himself, Bradley.
All right.
An Apple news article today was titled,
They Vaporized a Trillion Dollars,
Then They Vanished.
So they what?
Vaped cash and then died?
Is this the FTX scandal?
The crypto money?
Or does it mean actually setting cash on fire?
It was like an audio article.
Yeah, so I didn't
play. Oh, I didn't ultimately
do my due diligence.
There was no sort of sweat equity to be had.
There.
What I will say is that Thursday I worked from 10 a.m. to midnight 30.
Then Friday I worked from noon to 11.30 p.m.
Then Saturday I worked from noon to 11 p.m.
And then Sunday I worked noon to 10 p.m. And then Sunday I worked noon to 10 p.m.
And then yesterday I worked noon to 11 p.m.
And then this morning I had a meeting from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m.
Outlined this episode between 1 and 2 and now we're recording at 2.
So I haven't had a mental break since last Wednesday morning.
Sounds like you're having a mental break right now.
That's funny.
That's not exactly how you reach out to a friend.
You should go yell at the landscaper outside somewhere.
He stopped, so now's actually the perfect time he'll hear me.
Hey!
He's walking away.
We need to take a quick break.
But seriously, thank you guys so much for being here today.
I really appreciate it.
And let's thank some sponsors.
Get some of this cash.
Let's get this bag.
Namaste.
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And we're back, or should I say and we're basque right it's time to play a new game that we've
never played on the show let's see if we can get this whole thing done in seven minutes
kind of knock it out in 30.
welcome to basque master have you guys seen task master i don't think so. All right, it's a British panel show.
Well, this is Baskmaster, right?
So I'm going to shoot a couple of Basque words at you,
as in words from the language of Basque,
which is sort of this, like, ethnicity, ethno-region, I guess,
would be the word,
that straddles the line
between France and Germany.
And it's a dying language.
So I thought that we could
kind of keep it alive,
Basque and the language of Basque.
So here we go.
For every word you correctly
translate from Basque to English,
I'll give you,
I'll vend you $5.
Here we go.
Kaisho.
What do we think that means?
Day.
Nearby.
It's got to be something dumb.
Joy.
Joy?
You think joy is dumb?
He thinks you're dumb.
Kaisho is hello.
All right. Kaisho is hello. All right.
Jatexia.
I'll go with goodbye.
It's a good guess.
Thank you.
I'm going to go food.
Brad was close.
It's actually restaurant.
Here we go.
Zorte on.
Loving that buzzer coming in after each word.
Good morning.
Jeans.
Zortion.
Good luck.
You Googled that.
No, I speak Basque.
That's absolutely correct.
Brad has five bucks to his name.
Here we go.
Imagine Brad spelling that correctly.
Zortion.
You just exclaimed that twice you spelled that phonetically perfect i'll never tell did you google it because i'm not going to give
you cash if you googled it this isn't funny tell it was the way you said it it was like mazel tov
jeff's body position right now is just top-notch. One arm fully back.
Offering a lover a... Sorry, my landlord is leaving.
It's distracting shit because their Subaru is like really fucking shiny.
His arm acting as a kickstand.
Jeff has Albert Brooks core.
I get that.
Kamuna Nondago
Persona Nongrada
That's just what you're thinking
This is unbelievable
Both of my landlords are leaving at the same time
And this guy is now trimming our hedges
I guess he works for both of these
buildings. You have
two landlords?
They're married.
Sexist.
What?
Camuno Nondago.
I'm your guest.
Persona Nongrada.
Let's get guesses from Brad
and Will.
Left.
Like the left hand or left foot.
There's actually no English translation to that.
Where are the toilets?
Oh, here we go.
Oso Ando.
There are the toilets.
Very well.
Good night.
It's very good.
Brad is also disqualified from the game, by the way,
going forward because he was just using Google Translate, which did not get that one correct.
Last one, because we are trying to we have three minutes left.
We have a whole nother segment. It's kind of crazy.
Barkatu.
What?
Barkatu.
Brad, any guesses?
Bark.
I was also going to... I'm also going to go with bark.
That's a French dog.
Soccer.
Correct answer is
Excuse me
Barkatu
Barkatu
The man who is
Rushing to make this a 30 minute episode
Is taking his sweet time
That was
Basque Master
The only person who made any cash would have been Brad
But he cheated so no cash
To anybody Did you guys like that game? No Master. The only person who made any cash would have been Brad, but he cheated, so no cash. Join to anybody.
Did you guys like that game?
No.
I don't remember.
It's hard to remember the actual Basque
words. Obviously not.
Well, you had Oso Ando.
You had Barkatu. Barkatu, actually.
Barkatu. We have to move on.
Oh, okay. Wow, Brad.
Barkatu.
You get out of this show what you put into this show right so when you guys come at me with sour you're gonna get sour in return when you come at
this with joy with participation with genuine enthusiasm you'll leave feeling that way as well
you started the whole thing was i came on here i'd never met billy before i said nice to
meet you and you said is it i just didn't think it would the meeting i watched it happen i was an
objective third party it looked like it was a fine meeting it did not seem like it was great to meet
him and same from billy if i got on a zoom and i saw you in this frame brad i would not be like
oh can't wait for the next 45 minutes.
What's wrong with this frame?
There's so much going on in the background.
You have the overhead lights on.
You should never use overhead lights.
You should only use floor lamps.
It's also daytime.
I'm not a podcaster.
Yes, you are.
I work in ad sales.
You have a microphone
on a mic arm
and you're not a podcaster?
That's not a mic arm.
It's a stand
and I play music, asshole.
Everybody, everybody podcaster? It's not a mic arm. It's a stand and I play music, asshole. Everybody here. Everybody.
Let's get into it. Get stoned.
I'm all started. I'm all started.
Get started. Let's get
it started. Let's
get it started in here.
Brad wins.
Game over.
The episode ends. I just got my friggin' ass handed to me. Brad wins Game over Correct Episode ends
I just got my friggin ass handed to me
In fact
That
That was unexpected
Yeah
Cause you came at him
And then he just sort of dished it back
Don't talk about my frame
Ever again fucker um it's that time of the year again guys uh
it's new year's the turning of the tides the changing of the season uh 2023 is nigh uh and
nary i don't know fucking 24 hours away 48 hours away 47 actually pacific time
uh i think it's important that we reflect that we project and that we expect success
um for the next year right so brad you were hired this year um at head gum it's been a joy to work with you
and very far away from you at the company both have been true and both have been good
fuck you man uh no i met brad at the off-site the company retreat we had a ball we had a blast we
had the gall to make it last.
Shake our ass.
And shake our ass at whatever the fuck that wretched club was called we went to in Scottsdale, Arizona.
So could you just speak to your year, Brad?
Like what you regret, what you experience joy-wise.
And maybe what a resolution or nine would be for 2023.
Let's start with you.
You want me to do 10 resolutions?
I said a resolution or nine.
Or nine.
Okay, got it.
Well, this year it's...
Sorry, I thought you were going to say something.
Is the music going to keep going?
Do you want utter silence while you like... No, this is good. I were going to say something. Is the music going to keep going? Do you want utter silence while you, like...
No, this is good. I just wanted to be sure.
Yeah, this year it's had ups and downs,
and it's been six months at HeadGum,
and I've made so many new connections,
so many new friends.
It was so nice to get to know everyone
and work with everyone at the company,
and although I may be far away in Portland, Oregon, friends. It was so nice to get to know everyone and work with everyone at the company. And although
I may be far away in Portland, Oregon, so many people have come to visit me. I had Marty in town.
I had Joel, one of his goals. I had Joel. I got to meet Billy and Amir from the Buckets podcast.
Billy and Amir from the Buckets podcast.
And then I had to do this show
four, five times.
Got to or?
I had to.
Right.
And that pretty much sums it up.
If I had to pick a resolution,
it would probably be to make a friend.
I'm offering you a friend on a silver platter
and her name is...
I'm good you a friend on a silver platter and her name is... I'm good.
Okay.
Ideally, the friend wouldn't know you.
Any sexual resolutions?
Billy?
Pass.
On the whole thing?
Just the sexual stuff.
Okay, then, Billy, how was your 2022?
Let's reflect.
Let's expect success.
What did you enjoy?
What did you regret?
How did you regress?
And name some of your success.
And then let's do a resolution or nine for the next calendar year.
It was a good year.
I moved into a new home that has a lovely yard.
Amir has visited many times.
And then how did you grow and change too?
Also add that on in the end.
How did you grow and change?
My hair got longer.
And from a change standpoint, I think that I just,
I think I'm just trying to grow up a little bit more,
trying to shed some of the boy qualities and transition into the man qualities.
That's a good goal.
Shut up.
And I would say for my resolution, I'd like to hit 190 pounds in 2023.
Is that losing weight or gaining weight?
That would be like gaining 10 pounds.
Why?
Perfect downbeat.
And we're back.
I didn't go to a gym all of the pandemic,
and now I've joined a gym.
Got it.
What about sensual
resolutions? So not sexual, but like
how do you want to use your senses?
Smell, sight, taste,
oral.
I'd like to
commit to putting on more moisturizer.
Very good.
Skin and hair.
Skin and hair.
I started doing a skin routine.
CeraVe to obviously cleanse the shit.
A little bit of moisturizer, right?
Some facial moisturizer.
No one cares.
No, you're right.
Sorry.
Amir?
What did you...
What are you asking me?
I've said it twice now, but yeah, here it goes for a third time. Sorry, audience. You can blame Amir that I'm saying the same exact fucking sentence
for the third time. How did you grow and change this past year? What are your regrets? How did
you expect success? And for next year, a resolution or nine? Let's hear it. How did you expect success? And for next year, a resolution or nine.
Let's hear it.
How did you expect success makes no sense.
He's committed to it.
It means nothing.
How did you expect success?
Sorry, I'm here.
The floor is yours.
I expected it unconditionally
And without honor
And I hope to be using my phone less
As always in 2023
Heck yeah
Drop your skincare routine, king
CeraVe to cleanse the shit
moisturizer all around
under eye cream
and a little bit of vitamin C serum
that's how you go
moisturizer all around
up down and all around
and then Amir what about a sensual resolution, right?
So a way that you want to experience life.
None.
You don't want to see, hear, taste, or feel anything new in the next year?
Asked and answered.
Wow, okay. answered. Wow.
Okay.
Anybody want to know how I
expected success?
Sure.
I think we heard it 52 times
this year.
Does anybody want
to know how I expected
success?
Or do y'all not care about how I was expecting it?
I think, you know, I was living in New York at the beginning of the year.
I don't know what else to say.
And then I made the decision to come back to L.A.
And it paid dividends, you know, professionally and personally, sexually and sexually.
Realty-wise, too, I had to move.
I got kicked out of my old home, really.
It was more than a house.
It was made over the past two and a half years into a home.
You know, a home base.
A comfort haven for the road slash ages.
But ultimately it never was on the road, was it?
Because that was where I would return to after a hard day's work.
And that's obviously jarring, you know what I mean?
work um and that's obviously jarring you know what i mean you get covid and the day you test negative you have to move boxes upon boxes upon boxes like that can't help but shake things up
for the better and now i live in a canyon and the walls that hug me each and every morning, noon, and eve
impart their wisdom, impart their, honestly, joy unto me.
And I can't help but feel like it's going to lead to some kind of positive growth.
And that's why I'm expecting success next year.
Oh, fuck.
You had such an opportunity.
Perfect.
It was done.
You ran the red light.
The song was done.
You were done.
And the violin comes back.
And, uh, no.
Not and, uh.
30 minutes.
A tight 30, he said.
Not and.
We're on our fifth Auld Lang Syne.
We're on our fifth round.
And a resolution for next year is I want to do a couple of live shows of this show.
I don't care who's on them because I feel like the biggest obstacle with those is going to be getting Amir and Marika to want to go anywhere.
But, you know, I think last week's episode with Billy Scafuri
and Corey Lane, Alex Berkman, and Marika,
if anything, it proved not only to be a hit,
not only to be a hit,
but to serve as an example of an episode which was a hit, but to serve as an example of an episode which was
a hit, a banger
that doesn't need anyone,
frankly, that works at the network on it.
And
so yeah, I'm excited to do a show
in LA, maybe in San Francisco,
maybe in Big Sur,
maybe in New York,
maybe a HeadGum Podcast tour.
I'd love to make it happen, but at the very least an LA show. And in that York, maybe a HeadGum podcast tour. I'd love to make it happen,
but at the very least an LA show.
And in that regard, I am true to my word.
Dude, wrap it up.
This is crazy.
This is mental.
Did you say big sir?
In that regard, you're true to your word?
Wrap it up, dude.
It's been like five minutes of just you.
You're vamping and cramping
I really want to do a show at the Henry Miller Library
in Big Sur
because they have this outdoor amphitheater
I was talking to Danny and Casey about this yesterday
they have this outdoor
they have this outdoor amphitherolling so much, right?
They have this outdoor amphitheater in the woods next to the library that a bunch of
old folk bands have played at.
It's really cool.
It's really far out.
And Danny was like,
if a tree falls...
So I think it'd be funny
if eight people show up,
but we still do a full episode
um and you know a big part of the idea of doing that tour or even just one show in LA is what
keeps me going you know it's not just the audience reaction on a weekly basis it's also
the goals that I have set for the show right and uh if you don't have something to aim for, I think you'll fall for anything.
And that's a big reason, too, why I think I try to use this platform to encourage people to be their best selves. You know, I don't try to squash anyone down on this.
I try to lift people up to experience joy and to be wise.
And on that note, I'd also like to release some limited edition
HeadGum Podcast merch.
So that's all I'll say.
What?
That's all I'll say.
So namaste to you.
Namaste to yours.
And namaste on the beat.
So a couple more things.
The ways that I've changed this year have also been concurrent with the changing landscape of media, I would say.
Right.
So, like, we've been in the podcast game for a minute.
I don't know what else to say.
And with that comes a certain adaptability to not only the show itself as it goes and grows through time, but also normal conversation, right?
So I'll be at like 4100 bar and like talking to a stranger.
And I know how to hold my own now more than I ever did
because of the conversations that we share on this platform,
because of the ways that we all listen to each other.
It's this ping pong dialogue back and forth.
And, you know, I can't help but use that to put other people on notice.
I'm coming for your head, Conan.
I'm coming for your head, Scott Aukerman.
I'm coming for your head, Bob Tompkins.
This time next year, the show is going to be the biggest show on Spotify.
I can hold.
And if there's one last thing that I can impart unto thee,
I guess it would be go out and in 2023,
spread joy, legs, and libel.
I have a hard out in three minutes as a heads up.
I have a hard on.
In two.
In two.
I didn't want to mention the hard out,
but Jeff just talked for 11 minutes.
And here we are.
That was all I had to say.
At Jeffrey James on Instagram,
at Jeff Brady on Twitter.
I'm going to head out,
but you can plug your guys's stuff James out that was a Hidgum Original.