The Headgum Podcast - 140: Geory (w/ Georges Saba & Emma Silvers!)
Episode Date: February 3, 2023Geoff's friends (and former Headgum interns) Georges Saba and Emma Silvers join the show to discuss the SQIRL jam controversy, vain bears, and the new hit sitcom Geory! This episode is sponso...red by Betterhelp! Follow the link below to get 10% your first month!betterhelp.com/whatsthat The Pit Wall has been greenlit! Subscribe on your favorite podcast app so you don't miss new episodes dropping every Wednesday after a race. Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fm Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Spotify Join the Headgum DiscordSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Original.
Back in studio once again, first time in 2023.
We've got Emma Silver's former HeadGum intern, current Hollywood powerhouse, and George Saba.
I'm also sort of a Hollywood, like, I'm at least a house.
You're at least a former intern.
He's in trousers.
I am in trousers.
On a Saturday morning.
I'm in trousers from Neoidy.
What was that? Neoidy. What was that?
Neoidy.
N-E-O-I-T-Y.
It is a little boutique in New York City.
Did you decide that's how it's pronounced?
How would you pronounce it?
N-E-O-I-T-Y.
Neoidy.
Oh, and yours is cooler.
Yeah, yours is way cooler.
Well, at some point I will say.
Neoidy.
Sorry, we're saying the same thing.
Excuse me just one second.
Sorry.
At one point
during the show
I'm going to ask you
to stand up
and give a spin
so we can see that ass.
Yeah, he looks good in them.
Thank you.
This is the nicest
you've been all day.
What do you mean?
It's all thanks to Neody.
This episode's sponsored
by Neody
with promo
code WHATSTHAT. You get
50% off your pants at Neody.
Well, if anyone's wondering why this
doesn't look like it usually does,
it's because Casey took the video
interface
and flew to New York with it.
I know Jeffrey
looks really chill and cool in his
glasses, but he's been spiraling.
It's just that we have a studio in New York with the same interface.
Yeah.
With the same exact video interface.
Unless it was broken.
Unless the interface in New York was broken, in which case I'm so sorry, Casey.
But if it wasn't, I don't know why they need two.
I wonder why, because you called about it to find out it was in New York.
And if I were on the other line
of that call, I would say, oh, it's
because the New York one's broken.
And they didn't say that. They didn't say that.
So I would assume that it was all
fine and, well, good.
We've got a lot to get to today.
Emma, you've never heard the show. Never.
I said,
tell me what to expect, and you said, come camera ready.
This is the thing.
By the way, people don't like when I just have my actual real life friends on the show
because I'm less mean to you guys.
Because we're no one?
No, it's that, well, I guess they liked Corey and they liked George.
Thanks.
Okay.
Can you believe it?
They like me.
No, people don't like it because I'm usually not as mean to y'all
So wait can I get the conceit of the show
You're mean to everyone
Do you want to hear the elevator pitch?
It's 45 minutes of mean spirited pop culture discussion
I already fucked it up
Wait take it again
It's a long elevator ride
Take it again
It's like a billionaire's row elevator ride. Yeah.
It's 45 minutes of pop
culture discussion, mean-spirited games
and quizzes, and gotcha
journalism. Your information will be
doxxed.
I love it. Be mean to me.
It's like Between Two Ferns meets
Taskmaster. I don't know
that second one. Taskmaster's great. Do you
know Taskmaster? Why does everybody say that? Because this show's not like Taskmaster. I don't know that second one. Taskmaster's great. Do you know Taskmaster? Why does everybody say that?
Because this show's not like Taskmaster.
Have you watched Taskmaster? Wait, what is Taskmaster?
I love Taskmaster. I love Taskmaster.
It's a British panel show
where they
just make them do tasks, and it's
so much more endearing than what
the American version could ever be.
Which is, by the way, this.
Certainly. Well, they did an American Taskmaster.
That didn't really stick.
All right.
But it's like, I don't know.
The British comedians are so much more endearing about it
because it feels like they're not as thirsty for attention.
And it's also hour long.
Sure.
So they have the time to play.
The thing is that he loves Europe.
I do.
I'm European.
Guess where I'm going next week?
Where are you going in Europe? Copenhagen. Oh, you're so close. I'm going next week where are you going in Europe
Copenhagen
oh you're so close
I'm going to London and Paris
he's really gone outside the box
I have cousins
two unknown cities
I have cousins
in London
and are they in Paris or London
yeah
I thought you were just saying
I have cousins
you said it like
Oprah giving away a gift I thought I was saying saying, I have cousins. You said it like Oprah giving away a gift.
I thought I was saying it like George Costanza.
Wait, I want you to be like mean.
Oh, that'll come naturally.
By the way, this isn't your house.
You know what I mean?
It's not your domain.
So don't try to push the show along.
Let it go, let it go.
Do people ever kick their legs up on this coffee table?
I feel like I never see that.
People haven't. Do you want to be the first to test it out?
Table rigs.
Emma, I don't know if I introduced you
in the way that you wanted me to.
I didn't say your credits.
I don't need you to say my credits.
I'm a good vibe.
No, I'm a cool person and a good person to be around.
That's what you want to put out. Yeah, no, I'm a good person to be around. I'm a good vibe no i'm a cool person and good person to be around yeah no i'm a good person to be around i'm a good friend i'm a leo
uh i didn't even finish my thought about
we're shooting these on two iphones that are sitting on chairs so thanks a lot head gum
it's called the head gum podcast and they don't give me any help or any notice
casey taught me how to use the studio so i was like great studio is always set up two years
straight it's been set up i'll come in on a saturday so i don't bother anyone and record
a podcast with my friends we walk in and now there's okay i walked into a really crazy energy
it's a really crazy energy and i'm energetically sensitive i'm really crazy energy. It was a really crazy energy. And I'm energetically sensitive.
I'm really good at looking at energies.
It was crazy in here.
It was crazy in here.
You should be on Senior Superlatives.
What's that?
Sorry, is that another HeadGum podcast?
Wait, that's...
I actually have seen...
I have seen...
It's the end of the Week.
Daniel Craig is out as 007,
so every week until the next James' cast,
we're lobbing up our pick for the next Bond.
What do you guys got?
Who are you guys going with?
I can also start if you're nervous.
I want to go last.
Okay, I'm going to say Bryce James.
Who is that?
That's LeBron's youngest son.
Not the one that's the conversations around.
That's what I'm saying is Bronny's the talk of the town.
He's the talk of the nation.
He's going to play in the NBA probably.
Bryce, not as good at basketball, doesn't even have as much of a personality as Bronny. So I'm wondering if he kind of sees how he fares overseas as James.
He's already, you know.
How old is he?
It's time for a Bryce James Bond.
What's that?
How old is he?
I think he's 12.
And out of curiosity of how the game works, it has to have James in the name.
It does not.
Okay.
It can be anyone.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'm trying.
What's going to, like like endear me to people
uh
these
yeah
you gotta keep those
thoughts inside
because we're all
thinking that
at the same time
because it's like
are people gonna like me
if I say like
I think Megan
from Megan
should be the Bond
no no
George
I haven't seen
I haven't seen Megan
it's come and gone
love
what's the hot thing?
Infinity pool?
I want the goo.
I want the goo.
The chain.
The collar.
The leash.
What?
Oh, is that...
I haven't seen Infinity Pool.
Stop bringing up references you don't know.
No, you said it.
Okay.
So, wait.
Which one?
Sorry.
Is it Megan from Megan?
Or is it...
Or is it Megan?
Megan from Megan or is it
or is it
Megan
oh my god
that's so stupid
that was a really
good impression
that I got
that was a really
good Megan impression
you're being too nice
to him
you're being so nice
to him
I love him
I love him
I hate you
it's instant Stockholm
syndrome
people rarely
get there
in an episode
we were out last week.
My sister was visiting.
And Emma turned to my sister and pointed to me and said,
we hate him.
When did I say that?
You were at the Grand.
Don't not remember the Grand.
No, of course I remember the Grand, but why did I say that?
I felt like it was apropos.
Wait, that's crazy.
I feel like I did that.
I'm so sorry.
No, it's okay.
I've just been thinking about it.
Okay.
Here's your Bond of the Week.
Wait, and who's his?
Megan.
The doll from the movie Megan.
Or Megan.
Or Josh Peck saying Megan.
Yeah.
Both of you are getting further and further from the impression.
Yeah, my first one was better.
Yours was really good.
I knew I wouldn't do it.
You just did like Bane.
Okay.
Oh, did I ever show you my character Anthony Bore Bane?
What was it?
I was born in a kitchen.
That's so stupid.
And then this is him.
This is Anthony Borbain at Squirrel.
I was born in a kitchen molded by it.
That is such a niche jam reference. That was so was right that was just for me that was just for
me i was also kind of for george and he didn't like it at all well i just know it's from a sketch
we did two years ago that's can i just say there's two camera angles one is just the soles of your
feet um an earlier camera angle wasango was just Jeffrey's knee.
Yeah.
We should say that
the molded by a joke
was because...
No, you all need jokes.
Don't explain it.
They get it, they get it.
They definitely don't get it.
Most people who listen to the show
do not live here.
How many listens
are you getting?
A f***ing week.
That's not true.
Between...
You get stage fright
for the rest of the podcast.
I was going to be like,
about 15 people listened to this.
Sorry, no offense.
I know you are successful and good at podcasting.
How many listeners do you have to get such that they remember to leave the important piece of equipment that you're able to record in the studio?
That remains to be seen.
I think it's more just that people don't like me personally.
Like, it could be a million listens a week and they just would not, you know. Rank?
Is your tank top cream?
Yeah. I really like it. I got it from Gimme Danger.
More local LA.
This is also why people don't like when I have my friends on because we just
talk about our actual lives. Wait, where's Gimme Danger?
It's on Sunset in Coronado.
It's on the side of a cliff.
Nice. Thank you.
Wait, I'm
curious if you rank all the shows on Headcum
Daddy Chill
I want you earn earnest to rank them
in quality and also literal
amount of listens they get
like an amalgam of both of those things
like a new metric
two different rankings
I don't know the numbers
but if I had to guess listenership
it would be Doughboys
oh no sorry it's
NADDPODDOWBOYSIFIWEREYOU
you're gonna do this?
that's the top three
I don't fucking know beyond that
I know Perfect Person has a lot too
which is the new one with Biles Bonsignore
shout out
but in terms of what I like?
Yeah.
What's your favorite podcast?
What's your favorite podcast?
It doesn't have to be HeadGum.
Oh, Hollywood Handbook.
That makes me laugh out loud every episode.
The one they did with Adam DeMarco was so good.
I love Adam DeMarco.
Yeah.
Who is that guy?
Is that your Bond of the Week, Adam DeMarco?
He's so skinny.
Okay.
My Bond of the Week, I'm like, my brain is so broken.
Can I tell you who immediately came to mind?
I don't know if either of you will get this reference.
Okay, hit it.
There's a guy from an old YouTube video where he is, or like old Vine, I want to say.
Maybe it's TikTok.
I don't know when it was from, but he has high-waisted pants.
He's hunched over.
He's really short.
He's screaming in the park.
Oh my God, in New York?
Yeah, do you know who I'm talking about?'m talking about him that's my bond of the week and for those who don't know i'll put
him up right here thank you uh that's very funny does he do his own stunts in the movie yeah yeah
yeah yeah megan would do her own stunts we have to move on i cannot stress enough how much we have to move on I cannot stress enough how much we have to get to
I'm excited I'm having fun you guys are you having fun
I'm not
actually
this is the least amount of fun I've had on this
I prefer it when it's on zoom
that's what everyone says
first of all again I'm trying really hard to be mean to your face
it's really difficult
but I think I'm succeeding
I think I'm succeeding I feel like I'm being mean to your face it's really difficult but i think i'm succeeding and it's hard to i think i'm succeeding i feel like i'm i'm being mean on your path wondering if you would
be a guest host oh i would love to not now but like i'm saying if i need one you've kind of
captured the tone perfectly and you've never heard the show great i feel like i'd also be a really good guest host. Shut up. Gwyneth Paltrow hilariously admits that she uses her under eye masks during meetings.
Quote, sorry, not sorry.
Queen.
That's so funny.
That's my god.
What's an under eye mask?
Wait, do not.
I'm so sorry.
I'm actually dead ass.
Do you not know?
I can like guess, I think.
Guess.
Like, it's.
Okay, hold on. It's like it gets rid of like eye bags. Yeah. Okay, I think. Guess. Like, it's... Okay, hold on.
It's like it gets rid of, like, eye bags.
Yeah.
Okay.
I get the utility.
And then...
So she uses that in meetings?
And she's not...
She's sorry, but she's not sorry.
Like...
I love her.
I love my girl boss.
I genuinely love her.
I wish we had one other person.
Just sort of, like, I had an ally. Yeah, we need a Marika. We need an Amir. That's the other thing. I cannot we had one other person on here. Just sort of like an ally.
Yeah, we need a Marika. We need an Amir. That's the
other thing. I cannot stress to you guys enough.
People are not going to like this episode because Amir
and or Marika are not on.
You guys are my actual friends. We're talking about LA references.
It's shot poorly. It's in the studio.
This is like the recipe for the next episode.
Wait, can I say something though? I wonder if it'll have
a The Room-esque audience
that'll find it and have fun with it.
Yeah.
Because it's so bad.
It's so left of center.
That's what the show is, by the way.
Oh, yeah.
What's the drinking game of this episode or the show?
Okay.
Yeah, let's do that.
But, you know, obviously drink responsibly, George.
I didn't say what they were drinking.
Okay.
Drinking, liquid, whatever.
Jesus Christ.
Hooch. I was going to say, whatever. Hooch. Just say hooch.
I guess here's the drinking, the HeadGum Podcast drinking game. You can play with any episode.
Drink when I say, what's that?
Drink when there's a damn Daniel sound effect.
No, drink when there's a bomb drop sound effect.
Drink when there's an applause sound effect.
No, drink when there's a bomb drop sound effect.
Drink when there's an applause sound effect.
Drink when somebody... Drink when a new guest doesn't understand the show.
Drink when I bring up something deeply personal about myself or y'all.
Drink when I mention anything related to kink.
Drink when I make fun of somebody who's not in the room.
And drink when a theme song goes on way too long.
I think that's a good start.
But I'd like for somebody who has time on their hands to come up with a better one.
Because that was all off the top.
Somebody meaning an audience member that you wouldn't pay.
I'm just wondering.
My assistants are interns.
Yeah. They're getting quality experience. Yeah. that you wouldn't pay? I'm just wondering. My assistants are interns.
Yeah.
Yeah, they've got a quality experience.
Yeah.
All recipes recently tried every peanut butter to determine the best.
What do you think won?
I have a strong opinion on what's the best peanut butter.
Justin's.
I couldn't disagree more.
I'm now suddenly on Georgia's side.
Okay.
I'm now suddenly on Georgia's side. Okay. I'm now suddenly on Georgia's side.
Santa Cruz.
Santa Cruz.
Santa Cruz.
No palm oil added.
All natural peanut butter crunchy.
And is that spelled like the city or is it spelled like Santa's on vacation?
Well deserved, by the way.
Wait, how is the city one spelled?
S-A-N-T-A space C-R-U-Z.
And then the other one is S-A-N-T-A space c-r-u-z and then the other one is s-a-n-t-a space c-r-u-i-s-e
oh okay i was like okay the first the former yeah i think that's what it's called now i'm like
freaking out it's amazing i don't think it's called santa cruz cruz spelled like a vacation
if that was certainly not no no i'm just in my head all of a sudden
like... The fat ass works year round for
y'all. Well, for you.
And... Wait, what's your favorite
peanut butter? I like Jif.
And guess what? So does all recipes.
Jerry Seinfeld.
I also like
Jeffrey Seinfeld. Sorry, I interrupted you.
I want you to do Jeffrey Seinfeld.
Yeah, do Jeffrey Seinfeld. Sorry, I interrupted you. No, no, no. I want you to do Jeffrey Seinfeld. Yeah, do Jeffrey Seinfeld.
Emma!
George!
Peter!
That was really good.
It's a smooth... Do you know Jerry Seinfeld dated a high schooler?
Yeah.
He married that high schooler.
Didn't he?
No.
I don't think so.
No, but I'll laugh and tell you that was funny.
I think at that point someone would have said stop
No I thought that he married
Somebody who he dated very young
Do you know Emmanuel Macron married his teacher?
That I did know yes
President of France? Ever heard of it?
I would know because I'm obsessed with Europe
Yeah
I'm pissed because you went from this Italian
Italophile
Persona Non grata by the way I'm pissed because you went from this Italianphile persona
non grata by the way
and now you're shifting into like a
Francophile thing.
I don't know
if I'd ever go full Francophile. The French
scare me. I'm visiting my friend
who is a pastry chef
who lives in Paris.
This is perfect for the segment that's going to
come later because what is that?
What is a pastry What is your life?
What is a pastry chef?
No, your life is crazy.
Like, I feel like there's parts of your life.
You always do have friends where it goes, huh.
I'm surprised George has friends.
No, no.
It's just like, who are they?
I have a French pastry chef friend.
I've never fucking heard of this person.
This is my friend Connor.
I've known him since high school.
I mean, and that's the wild card is that it's often a high school friend who's gone on to do something awesome.
People from Ohio end up doing cool things.
Well, they end up leaving the state.
Shout out.
According to a recent study, ants apparently are masters of detecting breast cancer early.
Thoughts?
Ants like your parents.
Like, you know.
Stupid.
That's funny. We won't get a better joke than that.
Per the Idaho Statesman, this Idaho restaurant made Yelp's top 100 places to eat.
Can I say one thing about ants?
I know you said we're not going to get a better joke.
And this isn't a joke.
It just sort of feels relevant.
My cousins, who are in England, who I mentioned already.
I have an aunt.
The aunt lives there also.
She has breast cancer.
So, to sum it up.
This girl is on fire.
I pressed the button before you said what that was.
I watched you press it.
I heard you press it.
I am sorry about that.
I literally watched that play out in real time.
They think they've gotten
most of it removed, but last I spoke
to her over the
holiday break, she's
like, I don't know, I think I gotta go in for
some more stuff. I hope this isn't a joke
that you're doing. It's not a joke.
I just thought it was relevant after the joke about ants and breast cancer i was like well i would be remiss
if the the family i talked about england i didn't mention that i have an aunt who has breast cancer
i think she's doing okay okay good yeah i'll i'll report back um I go on my trip. I think people will love this episode.
So what was this about the girl being on fire?
Play the sound.
Play the sound again. Per the Idaho statesman, this Idaho restaurant made Yelp's top 100 places to eat.
Swallow your pride, Boise.
Izzy's Comfort Kitchen of
Cours de L'An
Idaho was named
the 43rd best place to eat
in America. No Boise
restaurant has ever made
the list. What do you guys
think? Major, major, major
upset. Yeah. Boise's supposed to
be cool. I've heard Boise's
cool. From who?
From Jake and Amir actually
Another high school friend
I don't talk to this one as much anymore
Moved to Boise
Seems to be doing pretty well based on Instagram
Where have you been
In the country that you like
That's like random
That you know where is actually a cool place to go is this place?
It's a really good question and if you guys have answers
I'd love to hear yours first but my
immediate reaction is like
and it's not that people don't assume that this area
is cool but I think it's cooler than people even
think it is and that's like
upstate New York like Ulster County
Kingston, Woodstock
I think it's awesome and I want all my friends to move
there.
You're gonna be on a commune in Woodstock. I think it's awesome and I want all my friends to move there. Mm-hmm. You're gonna be on a commune in Woodstock. That'd be ideal. I mean there's the Birdcliff Institute where you can like apply for an artist's
residency so I've considered especially if something bad happens in my life you
know like a tragedy I lose a friend or like I lose a lover you know whether
that's to like another career
that takes them out of the state or the country or whether that's you moving to Italy.
I don't know.
Maybe I'll move to Woodstock and do an artist residency for this podcast.
I thought you were saying like if you lose someone because then you'll have like a muse
of sorts to produce art.
No, I just won't have anyone to hang out with.
I'm not interested, by the way,
in expanding my circle beyond what I have.
No. Sure.
Keep your circle small. Because especially when you
have... Sorry, now I'm getting excited and
angry. Like, when you are
ascending to the heights that I aspire
to, it's gonna get
lonelier and lonelier the longer you go on.
Sure. Sorry, let me finish. And it's like
you have to make
sure that you keep your friends close and you keep your circle small yeah exactly right and so
your friends are close we're your enemies uh excuse me and it's and it's like it's it's who
can you trust you know yeah who's gonna be there one second and it's who's gonna be there for you
sorry one second and it's and it's like who's gonna be there for you like you know because
you wasn't with me you haven't said a complete sentence you haven't let me finish i was and then you were sort of being just one second actually so basically it's
like the the higher you ascend that you know you look around sorry excuse me just one second
because it's like who do you trust because you wasn't with me shooting in the gym you know what
i mean you wasn't with me shooting in the gym that's a a Drake lyric. About how, yeah.
Like his new friends, yeah.
Emma?
No, I agree with every single thing you said.
I've never felt more connected to someone or something in my whole life.
Jeffrey, you have a huge fire.
Farts just, um.
That was, I wouldn't have said anything.
It was straight along.
Sorry, I did a lot of blow last night.
TJ Holmes can't stop grinning amidst affair allegations.
Is it gone?
Yeah, the booger's gone.
Who's TJ Holmes?
He's a good morning.
He's a former good morning.
Oh, my God.
I'm obsessed.
I'm obsessed.
So hot.
He couldn't be hotter.
She couldn't be hotter.
They're still together.
They're still grinning.
Is that what we're telling?
Well, he can't stop grinning.
So I assume that they're still, you know.
Yeah.
Do you know about this?
No.
Okay.
So I was obsessed with this. So good morning, America.
You've heard of it.
Yeah.
GMA.
Yeah.
So the two head people, the like Meredith Beer and Matt Lauer.
Yeah.
But of Good Morning America.
Married.
Both married separately.
Okay.
Started having an affair.
Oh.
But what was like so fun about it was like the way they did not give a shit to hide it at all.
And in like all of these videos, it is them blatantly flirting on camera oh my god
and like doing these like if for Instagram videos where they're like
doing bits with each other and like they're clearly fucking there a super
cut there probably is out there and then as soon as it came out that they were
like fucking and like having an affair they just kept hanging out in public and
like having so much fun together
and being cute-y
and him being behind her,
wrapped around her on a ledge.
Oh my gosh.
My question is,
where do you go from hosting GMA?
Because they got fired, by the way.
That's the episode.
They'll get, which is so crazy.
Before having the affair?
Yeah.
Which is so dumb because
the numbers, I'm sure, went up.
Yeah, I mean, I hadn't thought about Good Morning America in years.
They had to have been fully diddling each other under the desk.
No.
Ew, George.
What?
No, they were in love.
I think they were in love.
When you're in love, you would diddle each other under the desk.
Ew, stop saying diddle.
No, it's like a national broadcast network show, and so they want to appear Puritan.
I think that he starts his own podcast.
Oh, yeah.
TJ.
I think that's what's going to happen.
Please, I'd love to have you on the show.
They're also so rich.
He'll write a book.
He'll rent a boat.
Yeah.
He'll just hook up with his hot co-host.
Sorry.
Oh, you apologize?
Might as well just grin and bear it.
The bear selfie has arrived.
Oh my God, he's just like me for real.
Colorado seemingly taking his cue from Madonna. Normally, the city of
Boulder, open space, and mountain parks trail cams
capture bears scratching or eating or giving viewers a rear
view but sometimes the bears investigate the cameras.
And out of 580 images captured by one trail cam.
About 400 were bear selfies.
So obviously the bear was looking for, you know, the right angle.
Full on frontal side profile.
This one is giving me Lolita, noted one viewer. This one is giving me Lolita, noted one viewer.
I feel pretty, oh so pretty.
I feel pretty and witty and gay.
We don't even know if this bear is a girl
or a boy. I can't say for
sure.
It didn't take that for a girl.
And just like with human selfies,
there were rejects, a paw
instead of a face.
Wildlife experts never know which critters will trigger their motion-activated cameras.
Be it a wild turkey, a prairie dog, a leaping fox, or a howling coyote.
And now we're howling over 400 bear selfies.
Playing an actress trying to come out of hibernation.
All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up.
Maybe not that close-up.
And quit baring your tongue.
Ginny Moose.
CNN.
New York.
I have a note.
That could have been cut a minute
I could have pulled
a minute from that clip
you know what
usually
you know
Gina Moves is my favorite
CNN anchor
and um
usually her stuff
is pretty tight
yeah she
she left a lot in there
yeah
you think it was a slow day
so you're feeling the hour
I don't
I mean
if it was a slow day
I feel like they would have
spent more time editing it
right
so like I feel like it was probably a more time editing it, right? So like,
I feel like it was probably
a really good day.
So was it a girl
or a gay guy?
There.
Why do you ask?
No, I'm just...
And those are the only options?
Yeah.
Straight guys
don't take selfies.
Guys,
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Welcome to
This is a segment I like to call Breaking Story with Jory.
Is this a recurring segment?
We'll see how it goes.
This is the first time I've brought it up.
Got it.
But I think it has the potential to be.
I mean, this would go to my guest hosting campaign.
I got asked to guest host.
I know, but I think I'd make a pretty good run.
Are you okay?
I'm fine.
You know what's so funny?
I thought that was a picture of you,
and then I just thought you misspelled your own name.
It's all mixed race, guys.
Look at this.
This is fucked up.
You're self-hating bi.
Racial? This sucks. this is fucked up you're self-hating by racial this what did you say about me nothing nothing you know i i'm just let's just say i'm glad it's a lease
the the lease of the apartment we live in together no no
it's okay this is breaking story with jory
uh jory being like because you know how like you know it's like rami you know uh seinfeld you know
if you had your multicam in theory it'd be george because that's my name yeah but you know americans
see george spelled with an s and they instantly think it's a pun. Do you know I called him Georges? Yeah.
Well, who is it?
Is it...
Like, to your face, and I was being so nice.
I was, like, trying to introduce you to a bunch of people, and I kept calling you Georges.
Who called you gorgeous Georges?
Was that Shelby or...
You're a fight master.
Fight.
Yeah.
Fight does.
And then my friend cinnamon frost
breaking story with jory uh so yes if you sold a show where you're you know in it starring in it
it's a multi-camera it's kind of cheesy yeah i think it would be called jory can i tell a different
story uh sort of relates to jory it's like it's like quick. I'll be really quick with it. And then you can explain what this
segment is. Okay, great.
I was like buying a suit
and I
like the one that was being pushed on me.
It was very me.
I had the guy at Bloomingdale's
like hold it for me and I was like
I'm not going to come back to get this but he had helped me for so long
I felt bad.
And he's like what name should I put it under? And I was like George and I spelled out my name g-e-o-r-g-e-s and i watched
what he typed and he put in g-o-r-e-e gory so pretty close you're gonna hit me with the damn
daniel back at it again with the white man you did tell me that story and it is very funny to me so maybe
it would be gory but i still think spelled this way i had a my freshman year in high school
bio teacher was named mr gory okay he's dead before anyone pushes any sounds he did die
stop bringing up depressing shit.
This girl is on fire.
On this silly little podcast that Jeffrey's trying to do.
Breaking story with Gory.
So I brought this up too because A, you work in TV writing.
You are, and then also your personal life, in my opinion, is kind of like a sitcom.
And it's kind of like that classic sitcom where it's like, there's no way this would happen.
I'm so afraid where this is going.
Continue.
I just thought we could break some story for like, gory.
I love it.
So the show's called Gory, right?
Spelled G-E-o-r-y
right
and so it's
we're all agreed
it's very
they're right behind me
aren't they
yeah exactly
so let's say this is season
this is like episode 318
right
we are
we know the show
we know the characters
this is a 24 episode series
absolutely
wow we got an order
networker
this is gonna be
network
fox
yeah okay no it's a Netflix I got an order. Network or? This is going to be Network. Fox.
Yeah.
Okay.
No, it's a Netflix multicam.
That is such a specific vibe.
Yeah.
So it's called Gory.
Sure.
This is episode 318.
So we are in the midst
of the show.
We know what it is.
Who are the characters?
First of all,
let's get our cast.
Okay.
There's Gory.
There's Gory.
Well, Gory gets introduced last
wait i'm wait sorry is it how old is he are we in high school oh he's we're 27 okay this is your
current life oh this is my current life and it's real so you want me to like this real people in
my life it's his boss my boss yeah dan dan go Which we are going to maybe need to change the name just so people don't get confused
because you're gory.
Right.
I think it's interesting.
My name, George, has a soft G.
Sure.
And you're...
You've also changed it from gory to jory over the course of this recording.
You've changed your own pronunciation.
Breaking story
with Jory.
So there's Jory
and then Gore.
Why isn't it called
Breaking Jory?
Because I'm sort of
breaking at the seams.
Oh, the segment.
I got it.
The segment is called
Breaking Story.
Breaking Story
for the show.
For the show Jory.
I'm up to speed.
Unless you're like leaving your persona, again, non grata of Jory, because then it would be like breaking knowledge.
What do you think persona non grata means?
It means you're not welcome on the set of your own goddamn show if you shed the identity of Jory, because that's what sold the show.
And that's what brings in the listeners.
That's what sold the show.
And that's what brings in the listeners.
I think it's more interesting to me to also think about what the drama is making Jory.
Right.
Behind the scenes.
Oh, behind the scenes.
In like a Larry Sanders way.
Do I run my own room?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
So it's like Larry Sanders meets What's the Racial Bloom Show?
That was like so good. I loved it. Crazy Ex? No ex no the new one on Hulu I literally loved it so much a reboot
best show on television best show of all time legitimately best show of all time well you
haven't seen jewelry so let's break some story this is just we are in the writer's room it's
like Keegan-Michael Key and Judy Greer were like fucking they have no chemistry loved it
Greer were like, fucking.
They have no chemistry.
Loved it.
What's, sorry, what arouses you if two people
have no chemistry?
That was my least favorite part of the show.
Rachel Bloom.
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
We're breaking story. So do you want us to,
wait, so are you saying you want us to just
pitch George's real life?
I mean, are you guys ready to do the segment?
Yeah, I want to do your little side thing.
No, no, no, no.
Jeffrey, Jeffrey, Jeffrey.
I want to do the segment.
But are you saying that we're pitching George's real life?
No, I'm...
Okay, so...
Re-explain the conceit of the segment.
I made a whole graphic to make it clear.
And it is.
I want...
I'm just like, is it his wacky boss or it's like real boss dangore
it's based on true events in your life but we're making it a bit wacky fun for
for the comedy because ultimately it's not a documentary it's a sitcom i think it'd be fun
if jewelry is like always slipping am i doing that in real life No, we just said that we're expanding it for network.
We just said we're making it broad,
and I feel like nothing's funnier than someone slipping.
I thought I was doing this segment perfectly.
I thought I just came up with a really good pitch.
I guess I don't know where the lines of fiction and reality are.
They could be anywhere.
There are no world ideas.
So I think him slipping all the time.
What if I'm a family man?
It's really funny.
What do you mean?
You don't have a family.
It's based on your real life.
Yeah, but I'm not always slipping.
Yeah, but you're always getting in trouble.
Yeah, but you could be 27,
single and not have a family,
and slip.
And that's within the bounds of possibility.
Right, right.
You don't have a kid, so we're not going to give you a kid.
You don't have a wife.
Wait, what if he's always, like, staining his shirt?
That's funny.
I'm not.
All right.
No, say your piece.
Stop screaming.
Ultimately, you are the one who has to be on camera.
Like, this is Jory.
And, like, this is the kind of thing that, by the way, like, New Yorkers are going to gather in Times Square.
Or whatever the Cincinnati equivalent is.
If I have Fountain Square, I would say if I'm the star of the show, it's episode 318
and people are loving it.
Yeah.
If we could not speak in hypotheticals, because it is episode 318.
So it's episode 318.
People have been loving the show.
Loving it, by the way, in today's numbers.
So it's still something. There's an
audience, but... Yeah, it's not at an 8.
You're at a 1. So, could I be like,
like, in the way that, like, The Rock
insists that he can't lose
in any of his things, can I...
In his movies, he says he can't lose.
He can't lose, and they have to be pro-war.
What? Wow.
Did you just make that up? Sorry, pro-the army, I should say.
Which is, to some extent, pro-war. No, is to some extent pro war what do you mean they
all have to be pro the army like you can't have the tooth fairy that's funny uh they just can't
say anything bad about the military the military has to be like really awesome have you guys heard
i think he's hot rock i think are you supposed to sexualize him i think he's hot and rock. I think. Are you supposed to sexualize him? I think he's utterly sexless.
I think in that movie he did with Gal Gadot,
where they're in love,
is like, I've never seen two just smoother,
ungenital people.
Like Ken dolls?
Yeah, literally.
And would you say he is an uncut gem?
Yeah.
I'd say he's pretty cut.
Okay. This girl is on. yeah I'd say it's pretty cut okay
this girl is on
because you had a bad
you haven't broken any score
wait I've pitched two character traits about her
she's been really good stuff
we need the cast
I actually haven't been really active in the room
here's what you need to do
you need to say who our cast is
okay I would say you two are featured players I actually haven't been really active in the room. Here's what you need to do. You need to say who our cast is.
Okay, I would say you two are
featured players. Okay, but don't say you two.
Be like, okay, there's blank, the blank.
Like, there's George Costanza.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Say Jew.
There's Kramer. I guess it's really cool if i'm like what if i'm like learning
who are the characters george who are the characters name us describe us
you know have you ever seen a multi-cam shoot george describe us describe us it's like and playing this guy is like describe
us in describe us in in multicam character lingo that's what we're asking for okay i would say you
go from the least featured to the main characters okay let's go least featured and i'm one of the
six yes you're you're you're number one on the call sheet okay i'm okay i'm number one on the call sheet. Okay, I'm number one on the call sheet. We'll go...
George's wacky neighbor, Kelby.
That's our landlord.
It sounds fake.
I had to register that that is really our landlord.
And he truly is the most normal guy.
Yeah, he does not look like a Kelby.
He just gardens and he wears shorts when it's too cold.
Yeah. That's very Philly. Okay. look like a kelby he's like he just gardens and he wears shorts when it's too cold yeah
what's very philly um okay i think structurally it's like you have your me character you would
have a the the will they won't they type which is who uh well i'm getting there i'm filling the
archetypes first and then we're working backwards yeah Yeah. I think then we have our, like,
a pair of characters that is a couple,
and then a pair of characters that are wild cards.
You're Joey and Phoebe, so to speak.
You think that's us?
I think I'm kind of predictable.
Well, yeah, but you're...
In the show, definitely.
Like, we're talking more making-up characters. Yeah. That's what I was saying. Yeah, yeah, but you're... In the show, Jeffrey, like, we're talking more making up characters.
Yeah.
That's what I was saying.
Yeah, I was reading when we finished.
But, like, I think the C stories you would get up to would be very easy to write.
It'd be like, Jeffrey goes to a kink party.
Or Jeffrey jerked off so hard he has to go to the hospital.
Wait, you are Joey and I am Phoebe.
I've never seen Friends.
What?
What? What?
But what about the show?
Stupid.
Wait, for real?
I've never seen them.
An episode.
You should watch an episode of Friends.
I'm not like, oh my God, it's going to change your life, but it's crazy you haven't seen it.
I know.
I just, at this point, it's like, I don't want to.
Part of me thinks, part of me wants Jeffrey to love it.
I think when people love Friends, I find it
a little saccharine.
But if Jeffrey came in
having really fallen for it and was saying
how you doing? No, that was me.
I watched The Godfather for the first time a month ago
and my personality for four days was The Godfather
is so good. My Friends
was a show you introduced me to when I had COVID.
And it's, I don't even remember the name of it.
The Unicorn?
The greatest show of all time.
The Unicorn with Walton Goggins.
The funniest comedy ever to live.
This show wishes it could be The Unicorn.
I was bringing, I was bringing the, yeah.
Jory.
The Headcumbs show.
Jory.
I was bringing The Unicorn up in meetings being like, it's the greatest comedy of all time.
I would have loved to be on the fucking Unicorn. Great cast. I was drinking the unicorn up in meetings being like it's the greatest comedy of all time.
I would have loved to be on the fucking unicorn.
Great cast.
Okay, let's get into it.
Let's just break one fucking episode of the show.
Who are we?
You've only said archetype.
Who are the characters? I said it was you.
I said it's a Jeffrey is like our Joey Tribbiani.
You are our tells it like it is.
No nonsense.
Stay Jewish.
No.
She's coming up with callbacks and catchphrases.
She gets the show.
You get it.
I get it.
HeadGum Podcast?
Yes.
Wow.
Both of us don't get Jory because so far nothing about Gory has come up.
We're building from the bottom up.
No, but you keep saying that and you're not doing anything about it.
And what I'm not liking is that I'm number six in the culture.
I don't want to talk about my personal life really on this show.
What I'm not liking is I'm number six in the culture.
I'm delaying getting to the will they won't they. I don't want to talk about my personal life really on this show. What I'm not liking is I'm number six in the culture. I'm delaying getting to the will they won't they. I don't want to
talk about that part of my life.
You didn't have to bring up that archetype.
Yeah, you brought up the archetype.
Every sitcom has that anchor.
I'm not going to deny that that has to be part of it.
The unicorn didn't.
The unicorn, the whole point
is that he's single and hot.
Yeah, which is so funny because he's hot to big forehead, but he is really hot.
But there wasn't a consistent Will They Won't They.
And how long did that show last?
Two seasons.
Let's get rid of the Will They Won't They.
I feel like shows that last a while have a really good anchor of a Will They Won't They.
Whatever.
Cast the fucking show.
Seinfeld didn't, I guess.
We have four minutes.
Of the whole podcast left
yeah
wait what other segments
do you have
the show is going very well
until this
yeah
is it wrong to blame him
no
cast
we said very simply
cast the show
okay you like
you didn't say it
very simply
he did
he did
okay like with
real stars
uh who the characters are maybe you as the host should pick up on that we need to switch He did. Okay, like with real stars?
Who the characters are? Maybe you as the host should pick up on that.
We need to switch segments.
He's not biting.
He's not doing a good job.
I guess like a Jennifer Aniston type.
And then I would just like a Matt LeBlanc.
You're just casting friends.
You've got two wild cards.
And it's me and Emma?
Yeah, you guys.
And then you have a couple who's that
a couple and I would okay
the ones that came to mind were like
I would say you guys are
three and four on the call sheet
and then the couple would be like an Eli
and Andy those are like
Eli and Andy
and I want to say her last name is
Corbin I don't know either
and then the will they won't they Kavetsky and Andy, and I want to say her last name is Corbin. I don't know either, T-Bone. And then...
The Will They Won't They.
The Will They Won't They, I think...
You should rewrite, and we should not talk about it,
and we should add a different character.
Yeah, okay.
Well, I think it's like...
Maybe then it's just like a family member who's invasive.
Yeah, it's like your mom.
Yeah, it's my fucking mom.
Oh, I was gonna say
Margo Saba
oh that's fun too like she's visiting and it's like
I gotta adapt to my friend younger
did she move in? well yeah she's moved in
that's actually the conceit of Joey
the spinoff of Friends I think
like he moves in with his cousin
Andrea Anders
this could have been a fun segment
he fucked it up
am I
maybe the pilot
and if we're gonna back up for a second
the pilot is that
yeah sorry we were breaking episode 3
I know
that has not worked out
to George's credit
that has not worked out
that was tough I guess
it just has not worked out
the pilot is Margot who is at this point a famous musician under the name Girl George.
Oh, it's like Cheers.
So you meet Sam and you also have Diane.
And Diane is Margot's coming in.
And then Diane becomes a part of the bar.
So Margot becomes a part of this crew.
Right, right.
Yes, exactly.
But it's a thing where, because Margot, your sister,
operating under the name Girl George as a
musician, that's a solo project.
Let's say that she's starting to get some traction this
year, right? You're writing the pilot this
year. You're getting traction in Hollywood as a writer.
You sell the show as a writer-actor
with her attached because
she's kind of like this king-princess level
artist, right?
That people do know, but she's also on the rise.
So think Billie Eilish when she was what, 16, 15?
And so like there's heat and you know it's going to go up.
It's almost guaranteed.
She's attached.
And as you rise as a Seinfeld level star, she rises as a Billie Eilish type.
And like the show.
We're like learning from each other.
And the show is her getting famous and you guys have to deal with that. Right. The more famous
we get. And then. There was that famous
episode season two. I think it was episode
seven where she gets canceled.
Oh yeah. She gets canceled and it was a big thing.
Yeah. Margot. Yeah. And not
What did she get canceled for? Wearing
a Native American headdress?
Yeah. Yeah.
And then saying a slur of a different
race. So that's the A race so that's the A story
that's the A story
Margot gets cancelled
the B story is
you guys think I need to get out there more
like dating wise
like the unicorn
and then you guys start competing
we're Michaela Watkins and Rob Corddry from the unicorn
and also can we cast
so it's you playing you, your sister Margo, girl George, playing her.
Yes.
And then us playing each other.
Or, wait, wait, wait.
But I have a question.
Yeah.
Let's cast who plays you.
Let's cast who plays me.
Who plays me.
I'd like to play me.
I'm sorry.
Okay.
I don't want to play me.
Then who plays you?
Who do I look like?
Do you want to say people who are Jewish?
Or are you going to point that out? No, you can do what you want to do. And I'll decide what I want to say people who are Jewish? Or are you going to point that out?
No, you can do what you want to do,
and I'll decide what I want to say back.
Jenny Slate.
I mean, sure, she's hot.
She's a fun cast, I think, for that.
Because she's curly hair.
She's curly hair and Jewish.
Honestly, I would take Jenny Slate.
And then, for me, she can reunite with Ben Schwartz,
and then Ben can do brownface.
He's allowed.
Yeah.
Yeah, and it really makes that episode about getting canceled super interesting.
It's self-aware but missing it by that much.
Remember when the Always Sunny episode, Rob McElhaney did blackface to make fun of Tropic Thunder?
I don't, but that's really cool.
Are you guys on Always Sunny heads?
I am, but I haven't seen that episode.
Who plays Eli and Andy?
Because they cannot play.
I'm sorry.
They're not going to play themselves.
No, I think Eli's played by, oh my gosh, like a Tim Baltz type.
That's bad casting.
You're not.
We're all our age, and then all of a sudden Yeah what the fuck
Sorry no I actually cast Jenny Slate
Like they can all play younger
Eli's gonna be Timothee Chalamet doing his first
Like steady TV gig and he's kind of selling out
Okay and then Andy is going to be
Kendall Jenner
You're giving Timothee Chalamet
Number 5 on the call sheet
Below George
Sorry but like I'm making
30 an episode I'm making 30 an episode.
I'm making $30,000 an episode.
That's pretty low.
That's really low.
That's really low.
Well,
I haven't done much.
It's so low.
It's 24 episodes.
I'm making half a million dollars
a fucking year,
Emma.
Timothy can get
$2 million.
It's so low.
You gotta drop your reps.
We have to fucking wrap this up.
What's the C story?
Timmy and Kendall.
Yeah, sorry.
Tim and Chalamet and Kendall Jenner.
They're trying to find a third,
and the third is Walton Goggins.
Yes.
All right.
Wait, that feels more like a U story.
It feels like it's out of character
I think they're like
they're going through
like some sort of
couple issue
I know but when I'm
at a kink party
I'm in my bag
like I'm in my comfort zone
so it's not funny
them trying to find a third
they're out of their comfort zone
right but you're helping me
out of my comfort zone
by bringing me
to a kink party anyway
so that's sort of
that's like
wait and how do I
bring you out of your comfort zone
you would offer
what would you real life
offer me if you were like oh George needs to get back you how do I bring you out of your comfort zone? You would offer... What would you real life offer me if you were like,
oh, George needs to get back?
You pick him, I fuck you.
You guys Eiffel Tower.
You're not good.
This is maybe not going to make the show.
This is a multi-cam.
There are no wrong ideas.
Wait, wait.
Are you saying what would I do to get you out of your comfort zone?
I don't know.
Yeah, if you're like,
George, you need to put yourself out there more.
What would you make me do?
Jeffrey would take me to a kink party, which is like, that would certainly be putting myself out there.
What would real life you do?
You help him buy these pants.
Yeah, we do a little shopping montage.
We do a shop.
You give me a makeover.
Because I'm a girl.
I'm a girl and I love to shop.
Girl shop.
You've been anti-Semitic and you've been anti-woman.
I'm both.
I don't believe women. I've been anti-mixedic and you've been anti-woman. I'm both. I don't believe women.
I've been anti-mixed race.
Actually, you have.
I've been clean for the first time ever on this show.
I think I've been clean.
Plugs, we've got to wrap this shit up.
You have a hard out and this segment didn't go very well.
What time is it?
1224.
Oh, yeah.
Plugs, what do you guys have going on
what do you want to point the people to the floor is yours let's start with them okay um
you people just came out on netflix i watched it last night it's fine it's fine i watched an hour
of it did you work on that show no you're just plugging something yeah cool you don't want to
plug your social media no you're private're private. No. I'm not
private. I'm public. They can find me.
What else?
What else? Shotgun Wedding
came out. I haven't watched it yet.
I didn't mean to interrupt. Sorry. Yeah, that is a
lot. It's just
like, because I like to have like the, you know,
the ground clearance to show a little bit of,
you know, ankle. But then
when you sit, it's just, you don't ever want to see the calf.
Okay.
Can I plug marinating chickpeas?
You may not.
Did I understand?
Did I understand the segment?
I'm just saying that's the thing people should do.
Is marinate chickpeas.
Take two cans of chickpeas, a half a cup of olive oil, some white wine vinegar, and chop up some garlic, salt, pepper.
Let it sit there.
I don't know if I've ever been mad at you.
You're like a friend where I don't think I've ever had a reason to be mad at you.
I'm pissed right now for this plug.
I care more about people knowing that that is a possibility.
Than?
Than saying anything about me.
I have nothing to plug.
Just life and be present and feel your feelings and go, you know, smell fresh air.
What was that?
It's somebody from some Indian media in Hindu being like,
please don't go.
Okay, George, what are you talking about?
I'll promote my food Instagram.
It's food, the word, George Saba, my name, G-E-O-R-G-E-S-S-A-B-A.
Jeff, you're so mad.
If you're watching things on Peacock, youock you should watch killing it it's a funny show we
have a second season coming out soon uh and then grand crew the second season available on nbc or
peacock premieres in april how about you how about you at jeffreygm is on instagram at jeff boyardy on twitter and uh oh also you can take dinosaur kale
and rip it off massage it thank you guys for watching this episode of the head gum pod you're
like really walking us through a way to make your great with them jeffrey i have a real question
before we wrap what do you think of new review review do you think it's better really good i
think it's better you think it's better i think it's better than i don't listen to it but i think it's great yeah
also listen to the new review review yeah i feel like you should throw to that more just notice
that you were so rude of you to put him on that spot he put me on the spot this whole time you
guys have only been rude to me i have we had riley and alfred on last week to plug the show
yeah but i want you to they're not here right now yeah okay listen to the new review i want I have We had Riley and Alfred on last week To plug the show Yeah
How did that go?
But I want you to
They're not here right now
Yeah okay
Listen to the new review
It's very funny
Their chemistry is great
I think
It's not
Maybe not better
But I think it's different
In a new exciting way
I like
The fact that I'm on this show
Like what are you saying
By my fricking back
What?
Did you just say?
Wait why did you
Oh also watch Gory on What is it it's on you said
netflix oh netflix yeah well netflix is weirdly enough the production company and then the studio
is expedia right and then the network is gonna say what's the platform so would it not just be
paramount plus oh paramount plus yeah wait wait. I just thought of a better James Bond.
Okay.
And I know he was in the last one, but wouldn't it be really fun for Rami Malek?
I saw a tweet this morning that was like, we got to stop taking pictures of this man.
Of Rami Malek?
That's really funny.
He's like, there's a tweet that's like, Rami Malek's energy's really funny. He's like...
There's a truth.
It's like Rami Malek's energy is so unsettling.
You're scaring the host.
I could go for another hour.
I'll move my doctor appointment.
Jeffrey on the break asked if I microdosed because I'm being so giggly.
Is that what you guys talked about by my back?
No, we were going to make fun of your car.
And then you brought him in a coffee,
which was really nice of you.
So we didn't.
So we pulled back.
Well, because Emma was like,
should we jointly make fun
of George for,
as a runner,
that he doesn't know
we talked about saying.
And then you brought me
And then you brought him
his coffee,
which was really nice.
Anyway,
I don't know where
I'm going to cut here,
so I'll just say that's does,
just in case we keep this all in.
But that's, I'm probably going to cut way before this.
No, no, no.
Probably before Gory.
I think we'll probably.
It's a 27-minute episode. That was a Hidgum Original.