The Headgum Podcast - 142: Banal

Episode Date: February 17, 2023

Amir, Allie, and Brad join Geoff to discuss Geoff's new hat, Geoff's mid-ness, and Geoff's banality! Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fm Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on App...le Podcasts Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Spotify Join the Headgum DiscordSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Original. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast. Was it that- So you get $1,000, right? That's $1,000 over Venmo. That's awesome. Can I do it Danish? No, it only worked once, so.
Starting point is 00:00:16 I'm going to probably request you for that cash. I'll keep looking at my phone. Yeah, definitely make sure it goes through. Make sure to deposit it immediately. Micah's taking his phone off airplane mode the fast deposit that you have to pay like so if there's any interruption in the quality of our audio Micah took his phone
Starting point is 00:00:31 off airplane mode but it's worth it yeah it's worth it because it means a thousand dollars my Venmo's been suspended suspicious activity are you on cash app? I'm on Apple Pay but I can't help but feel like I don't have the cash is the other thing. It's like this was what I was trying to send, and then now it's saying your account's been
Starting point is 00:00:49 blocked from sending transfers. I don't see that notification. That really sucks. Sometimes you need to get the hat before you become that man. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not this yet, but the hat's gonna make me it. Brad, you look exhausted. I do? It just started and you look absolutely devastated.
Starting point is 00:01:28 It's kind of rude, but all right. I was going to try to be nice to you today, but you show up with this hat. You look like a goth pylon. You have a hatitude. What is that? What was that little bottle? It's a non-alcoholic bitter drink.
Starting point is 00:01:46 Oh. It's sort of become my my excuse me one second actually it's actually become sort of my afternoon pick me up pick you up perfect we've got the guy with the leaf blower out the front door now that's good for audio yeah i guess what's in the drink glad Glad you asked. Herbs, spices. It's like a tea that isn't really good for you. It's bright red. What? Let's not make it the Amir and Jeff show. Brad, Allie, how the hell are you?
Starting point is 00:02:17 I'm good. I'm stuck between a Kyle Richards joke and a Salem witch trial joke for the hat. Let's go with the Salem one. Yeah. How was the burning? That's good. What was that Brad?
Starting point is 00:02:32 I just laughed at you. We've got a lot to get to today. Amir was a little bit late today so I'm trying not to let that sour my attitude up top in a way. This whole schedule has been a mess. This whole schedule has been a mess.
Starting point is 00:02:50 Recording at 4.15. In a way. On the day. Yes, we've never done that on hump day. Did you guys have sex this morning? This morning? Yes! It's Wednesday! Let's move on.
Starting point is 00:03:16 Bond of the Week, I'm back to Aaron Taylor Johnson. He did a backflip for Vanity Fair. Did you guys see that? I did see that. I want to see... He didn't hurt himself on the first one. fair. Did you guys see that? I did see that. I want to see. But he did it. Let's. He didn't hurt himself on the first one.
Starting point is 00:03:31 Very close to the kneecaps, he said. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just think I'd love to see James doing like, I don't know, gymnastics at the very least, if not a backflip. Why is that funny? sticks at the very least if not a backflip why is that funny i got this thing for 40 at a flea market at a bowl much that's really much yeah because some
Starting point is 00:03:56 of these i thought some of these go for like a hundred dollars good ones do but this one is not stained with cum yeah what is that uh it's a hat what would you even call that hat what do you even it's a pharrell hat is what i've been calling it but like but like it looks broken like it looks broken in it looks broken in because it's vintage so i don't even have to like make sure that the bend is just so there's a little dent in it. How little dent in it? And I wear stain on it. Yes, that's fine. It's character building.
Starting point is 00:04:30 You didn't like wash it. At least like spot clean it. When you buy the fuck am I supposed to wash it? Brad? I said spot clean. God damn it. Wait your turn. Right. In conversation, it's important to listen and then respond intelligently and intelligibly. Wait your turn Right?
Starting point is 00:04:45 In conversation it's important to listen And then respond intelligently And intelligibly How is that vintage? Like when did people ever wear that style of a hat? 16, 12? Like that's not Vintage to what year is that?
Starting point is 00:05:14 Vintage to what year is that vintage to what year is that yeah like is that like a 20s style or 80s style like when was that hat made i would have to assume the 19th century because it's kind of a rancher hat i would say you know somebody goes to like out west uh you know, an oaky, let's say, trying to find California. But instead, what's that? No. No, what? Just to the whole thing? Yeah, there's no way. Enough about the hat.
Starting point is 00:05:43 Why don't you guys talk amongst yourselves for a bit. Get all the bullshit out that you guys want to talk about. And then we can get back to the actual show. What is this? I forgot we were recording today. Yeah. So you weren't like prepared. I wasn't prepared.
Starting point is 00:06:01 Where did you get that? Where did you get the drink? It's just a small bottle. Yeah, it's only like six ounces, which is enough. I got it at the pharmacy of wine. It's right by the office, actually. The pharmacy of wine? It's La Pharmacie du vin, right?
Starting point is 00:06:26 Meaning it's sort of a pharmacy of wine. Cool. You guys really aren't bringing anything to the table this week. Last week was sort of a train wreck, a disaster, because I didn't bring anything to the table. Today, not only do we have a ton to get to, but you guys aren't saying anything. Well, you just
Starting point is 00:06:51 lambasted me for interrupting you when I was just talking normally. You started off with such a sour mood. I said I was going to try to be nice to you this time because last time a lot of the comments were like, oh, it's cool to see Brad taking Jeff down a peg, but you're making it really hard
Starting point is 00:07:09 and you're making me regret my decision to say yes to coming on the show. That's true. My Bond of the Week is Rachel Weisz. Say more about that. I think it would be fun to do a little husband wife Swap So maybe she's James Bond And he teams up with
Starting point is 00:07:35 Brendan Fraser and they kiss Is Rachel Weisz Married to Daniel Craig is that what you're saying Yes That's awesome that's a really good bottom line That is what I'm saying thank you let's all give ally some dabs grab say something nice that was a really good bond of the week chicken looks uh spectacular in the second one was a compliment to the cat not to a compliment to the cat is a compliment to the cat owner okay so
Starting point is 00:08:08 yeah Amir yeah I don't know fucking Dane Cook or something fucking Dave Cook yeah it's been like
Starting point is 00:08:24 one week a hundred weeks yeah I'm out of ideas I've been fucking Dave Cook. Yeah, it's been like... One week since you looked at me. A hundred weeks, yeah. I'm out of ideas. It doesn't matter. Well, if you think the wells run dry for this, then why hasn't Broccoli come forward with the news of the next James? Broccoli? Barbara.
Starting point is 00:08:45 Barbara Broccoli, the producer of James Bond. 007. I'm just saying, like, we only meet here once a week. I'm sure that Sony Pictures, Barbara Broccoli, and everyone behind James Bond is meeting about the next 007
Starting point is 00:09:02 on a daily basis. So I'm just like, there's no way the well is run drier than theirs. Because we only talk about it once a week. They talk about it every day. Does that make sense? Respond fast.
Starting point is 00:09:12 Don't just go like, I already said yes. Even before you said respond fast. Say it fast. I did. That's also how normal conversations work. Correct.
Starting point is 00:09:20 I agree. And I did say it fast. Yeah. It's true. Maybe they'll pick out of a hat your hat too many names in this hat it's pretty much down to Rene Jean Page or whatever the fuck
Starting point is 00:09:35 and Aaron Taylor Johnson are you gonna are you gonna wear the hat on a normal day or is it just sort of a bit for today Are you going to wear the hat on a normal day? Or is it just a sort of a bit for today? On a normal day. I really want this to be, I want to be known as, like Pharrell is kind of synonymous with this hat.
Starting point is 00:09:58 I don't need to be synonymous with this hat, but I want to be synonymous with hats. Like, you know, everybody needs a thang. Like for Brad, it's like CLE hats. Like, you know, everybody needs a thang. Like, for Brad, it's like CLE hats. No, you don't need to base your personality on an item of clothing. Try growing as a human. How about?
Starting point is 00:10:17 And it seems like that hat's taken by Pharrell. Looks like you're just trying to... All right, all right. Now we're getting somewhere with the the sort of dynamism of the conversation you guys had some overlapping dialogue there you had some points of view
Starting point is 00:10:34 that were strong and contrary to mine that's where the comedy comes from right I disagree about the article of clothing I will say I think you become the hat and the hat is you. Does that make sense? Sure.
Starting point is 00:10:49 Shirt. Let's talk about it. What's the shirt you guys wear the most often and get compliments of? Because I got five compliments within 10 minutes of buying the shit at a bowl. People complimented your hat. What'd they say?
Starting point is 00:11:04 I bought the hat. I put it on immediately. Within seconds, I got two compliments from two different shop owners. But was it like, hey, nice hat? Yes. But like, hey, nice hat. There was no sarcastic undertone,
Starting point is 00:11:21 if that's what you're getting at. And two people were like, I wish I had bought that hat. Oh, wow. What was that? I said, oh, wow. Hat confidence is not easy to gain, so I respect that you have it. And is that C-O-N-fidence or is that K-A-H-A-N-fidence? Confidence.
Starting point is 00:11:44 C-O-N. That's good. I'm back on board now. Let's talk about the state of the network. This is not like an official state of the gum, but I'd love to talk about some intricacies of the inner workings. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:07 When does this episode come out? It comes out on Friday. Like in two days? Like in two days, yes. The 17th. Great. I'm smiling because he doesn't think I can get it done. Last week we recorded on Thursday.
Starting point is 00:12:23 So this is sort of a step in the right direction. I guess one thing to at least talk about is if you're listening to this before noon, we're doing a live stream for If I Were You, and I think Jeff's going to be on it too, right? Yeah, I'll be there. Yeah, so that's from 12 to question mark, question mark 30, either 1230 or 130,
Starting point is 00:12:43 and then you guys can log in and check that out. Maybe you're listening to this during that period right now, and you can stop this insanity and move on to the live stream. That's a good idea. Yeah, I guess so. It felt like an organic plug because you were talking about the state of the network, and this was happening during that. You're also going to be on it.
Starting point is 00:13:09 So why are you mad that people would leave here to go watch you? I mean, I'm down to plug it. I just there's this whole section of the show at the end for plugs. So let's talk about the. Yeah. You just asked about the network yes let's talk about the intricacies the inner workings
Starting point is 00:13:28 okay don't anyone on this make yourselves like small because then I look like a monster like Brad and Allie are both like okay what is going on Brad in your neck of the woods of the company?
Starting point is 00:13:45 And what do you even do? I don't know. You don't know what I do? Do you work in ad sales? What do you think I do? I think you work in ad sales. There you go. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:55 So that's true. It's good. Yeah. It's awesome. We're killing it on a weekly basis. How much money? Do you want me to give you a specific number? I'm not going to do that. I'll bleep it. Okay. No. All right. But it's going well. It's good. Yeah. Good. Yeah. Or is it like we're we do well. You know, when people say that it's like one second. Is it like where people are like, oh, you know, we do well. So that kind of thing. I don't know what you mean. Like when...
Starting point is 00:14:27 Yeah. Forget it. Yeah, it's great. Portland office. Did I get a raise? No. Last year. You didn't? I mean, I haven't been here that long. Neither has Joel. He got a raise.
Starting point is 00:14:42 He did? Yeah. Joel's in Patagonia right now since May which by the way is when Joel started so we started on the same day maybe it's probably performance based I wouldn't be upset about it
Starting point is 00:14:58 oh are you upset? Nah. Nah? No, it's important to talk about these things. You know, employee solidarity and communication. That way the fat cats like Amir don't just hoard everything for their whore selves.
Starting point is 00:15:21 You're not an employee, so... I'm trying to help your ass. Don't start an uprising if you're like not even part of the class here. Like you're not part of the company, quite frankly. And I'm a company man, okay? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:42 That's, yeah. I'm sorry to hear that, I guess i guess i mean you guys are shitting yourselves if you don't think i'm the reason why adam mckay's podcast network hasn't done well you know it's not that claire slaughter's doing a bad job it's that i have been sort of dipping my toes in the waters over there uh sowing seeds of doubt and dissent amongst the underlings and the overlings uh basically leading to whatever the lack of team building is to ensure the
Starting point is 00:16:09 failure, or at least downward spiral of that company. I don't even know what it's called, but that way, HeadGum does slightly better. Does that make sense? No. Yeah, you're saying you're not helping us out, but to make up for it, you're actively sabotaging our competition, which isn't really our competition
Starting point is 00:16:25 and whose names you don't even know. Correct. I ran into somebody. What's up? Got it. Did you see my comments on your hat post? What's hat? I did.
Starting point is 00:16:40 I was driving. So next time, just maybe wait till I get home because I almost got in an accident. But it was the thing of like, I saw your comment and I kind of read it as like an exasperated what's that where you don't say the T. So it's like, what's that? Fuck you guys!
Starting point is 00:17:07 Let's talk about dating in Portland Brad what's it like What's the scene where are the spots Where do you go out Well I'm not dating anyone I'm married You're married I mean we go on No we went out last night
Starting point is 00:17:24 Great so you do date sure man yeah yeah I've said this so many times but you're never supposed to stop you don't stop dating your wife and I don't and I didn't and we do and I did
Starting point is 00:17:39 so where are the so what's dating your wife like in Portland Oregon it's good and fun and it rains yes So what's dating your wife like in Portland, Oregon? It's good and fun And it rains Do you want like specific restaurants? I don't know how to answer that question Yes, I do I want to know the spots
Starting point is 00:17:57 I don't even remember the name of it We went to a Thai place last night that I got a reservation for And it was delicious There's a tattoo shop above it. It's on Hawthorne Street. Love Hawthorne. Absolutely. You do? House is Vintage? House of Vintage is great.
Starting point is 00:18:13 They have a lot of hats there. Well, I'm sort of set in the hat. I mean, I'll always window shop, but I'm sort of set for now. No, you should expand the collection. You ever go to revolution hall yeah all right ally let's talk about dating in portland what are the spots where do you go slash where have you gone to sort of get ziggy with it, Stardust or otherwise.
Starting point is 00:18:46 In Portland? I've only been, I went once when I was like 18. I know that the public transportation is very good there. I would recommend taking a bus or a trolley and seeing what happens. Hell yeah. Amir?
Starting point is 00:19:04 I went to a Thai restaurant With Brad and his wife last night Yeah that was nice It was cool that you showed up We split a pad C Ew He made that joke last night Twice last night
Starting point is 00:19:23 This is the third time um we didn't really dive into the state of the network like what's going on we have a live stream the day this comes out that's it and ad sales are going fine well I said good
Starting point is 00:19:40 yeah that's true okay so ad sales are going good to mid oh that'll come back around I said good. Yeah, that's true. Okay, so ad sales are going good? To mid. Oh, that'll come back around after the ad break. Oh, yeah. Good. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:20:01 Here's my gripe about this show. What? Yeah. Amir says dumber shit than me. There's just this dynamic that's been set up where anything he says turns to gold and everything I say turns to mold. Like, him doing an impression of the Hannah Montana transition music isn't funny.
Starting point is 00:20:18 But then, like, both Brad and Ali were both like, that's funny, that's cool. And then I say something that I think is kind of clever. Like what? And nobody does anything. That's does anything clever i don't know i would i would say we've given your hat a lot of attention yeah but not why you wear it yeah why would you wear that hat if not to say talk about it I'm doing one powerfully healthy habit that's also powerfully simple. I know that AG1 gives my body high quality nutrition because every batch goes through a rigorous testing process so that you know it's safe.
Starting point is 00:21:16 And their ingredients are sourced for potency, absorption, and nutrient density, all of which is very important and you don't always get with other leading nutrition brands. I like to drink it first thing in the morning. I'll have a glass of water. I'll have my AG1 and then I'll have my coffee. And it gets me set off to take on the day and to be centered and to feel like I did at least one good thing for my health. And if you do that every day, it has compounding effects. If there's one product I had to recommend to elevate your health, it's AG1.
Starting point is 00:21:50 That's why we partnered with them for so long. So if you want to take ownership of your health, start with AG1. Try AG1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3K2 and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkag1.com slash what's that? Again, that's drinkag1.com slash what's that? Check it out. And we're back.
Starting point is 00:22:17 Welcome to the hat. Hey. Hey. Chicken cracks up. Chicken cracks up chicken cracks corn yeah see like right there that wasn't funny at all and Brad can't control himself he's having to lean away from the mic
Starting point is 00:22:41 it's funny to imagine that's how that's how Ally's cat chicken laughs. I like that chicken's becoming a recurring character on the pod. Just like how New York is often a character in Sex and the City.
Starting point is 00:23:02 Yeah, chicken is like a character on New York. I agree. I mean, let's stay off the emails and let's stay off the text threads while we're on the podcast.
Starting point is 00:23:23 I'm not asking for a lot. You are. And I won't. And if I do, it's not because you asked me. Last week, Amir posted this photo that he took of a monitor when we were shooting sketches last Friday. And he captured it, me. As promised from my script story I said that we would dive into what exactly he meant when he was post
Starting point is 00:24:09 on this episode of the show because frankly I didn't appreciate it and sorry I said on my Instagram story that I would get to the bottom of exactly what Amir meant when he posted this. So, like I said, I didn't appreciate it. I think I'm more than mid.
Starting point is 00:24:37 I think I'm at the very least above average Broadway video style. But what did you mean Amir? Did you mean, let's like figure this shit out because I didn't, again, I didn't appreciate it. The very least we could nip this in the bud, uh, and be like, oh, I just was like putting a caption and just like, it's like something that's in the ether, which would make me feel a lot better. But if it was that you think I'm mid, or if you think the sketch I wrote that we were shooting on this day was mid, mid or if you think the sketch I wrote that we were shooting on this day was mid then I
Starting point is 00:25:04 I'm not gonna just sit idly by and I'm not gonna sit idly by that one's for all my brown fellows it's just it's not it's not okay with me you know you have to self-advocate and that's what I'm doing here so let's get to the bottom of it what do you mean I meant that you were mid.
Starting point is 00:25:30 Sorry? Amir, I'm not giving you an out to not hurt my feelings. I'm saying you could just say that it was just a game. Liked by Brad at the bottom there. Yeah. And that's what I thought he meant when I saw the post. That's why I smashed that like button. Yeah. And that's what I thought he meant when I saw the post. That's why I smashed that like button. Yeah. Did what did you think he meant the hat was mid and that's why you got a new hat or. I again I had no idea what you meant. I obviously took offense because I assumed the worst. But I like to think that worst case scenarios don't often happen you know whether that's in an effort to ease my own
Starting point is 00:26:06 anxiety or whatever but you know not in this case the question is what's the undertone you know what's the context let's get all that too before you just kind of straightforwardly say that you were saying I was mid because it can't be that it has to be that you know
Starting point is 00:26:22 holistically you were trying to make other people laugh you're trying to spread joy by playing into this kind of honestly character that i i play that you play like in these public spaces because obviously when we hang out just the two of us are in the office it's like we talk about other stuff we like talk about intelligent things things we've read things that we enjoy uh there's a real kinship there there's a real like mentor mentee style uh dynamic there uh but publicly facing you got to make people smile right you got to make people have joy and so i was wondering is
Starting point is 00:26:51 that what you were doing here with this caption it's like oh he's mid you know and then like and then as i bring it up on the show you're also playing into that is that what was happening uh no just calling you like average. Absolutely. And then just diving into that sentence. Is it that you hold all of us to a standard that's already subpar in a golf term, above average in another term where it's like at head gum we achieve such
Starting point is 00:27:26 excellence that again like doing well at head gum is doing fine at other companies good nor do i think you're that bad you're right in the mean mean and i'd rather be bad i'd rather you have a hard opinion about me either way to be mid in someone's eyes i think is the lowest form of congeniality because it frankly lacks that yeah yeah and my thing is like i'm just really trying to give you the benefit of the doubt here because otherwise I might cry. Did you mean that this photo of a photo of me captured a part of me that you'd consider mid? Or is it holistically that me as a person ain't it, ain't him? You're not that dude. You're not him.
Starting point is 00:28:23 You're not that guy, pal. You're an that dude. You're not him. You're not that guy, pal. You're an average Joe. Where did you come from? Where did you go? Where did you come from? You're an average Joe. You're a five out of ten. A C-man.
Starting point is 00:28:40 So, C-man. You're just totally gray. You're tan, you're beige. Right in the middle. Or mid. Well, I know a lot of people that love neutral palettes, Jeff. Yeah, mid isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's specifically not a bad thing.
Starting point is 00:29:10 Yeah, you're just like unnoticeable. If you get blood tests, like results back, you want to be in the middle there. Don't want to be too high or too low. It's just hard because like, I don know strive for excellence you know everybody wants to be great at what they do they even if you end up like you know reach for the stars you'll land on the clouds whatever it's a good fail safe to be mid but to be at this point in my career in my life i'm 25 like to be considered mid instead of on the rise. Or, like, at least above par for my age.
Starting point is 00:29:54 You know, leaves me feeling like I did in this photo. Can you see my face, Brad? What is it? The picture is also kind of mid. It's upside down. It's kind of illegible a little bit. I didn't take the picture. Did you think't take the picture did you think i took the picture because amir took no no no it's just mid pick for a mid guy you know so you're saying the framing which is kind of fine to bad matches the subject well yeah it's almost artistic like that's why i
Starting point is 00:30:20 part of the reason why i dropped a like on it. Like I, it, it speaks to the subject of the photo. The framing. Let's go on that for a second. Let me finish though. Like the framing, the lighting, how like you can't really, like it's a little blurry. Sure. Like it, it, it, art imitates mid. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:44 Here's my thing. And let's go off that for a second. A lot of great art, art that we consider amazing now, at the time was not received well. And this was posted, what, four days ago? And, you know, not only was the photo, as Brad said, sort of average.
Starting point is 00:31:00 You're saying the subject is also mid. The subject being me, unfortunately. But I'm wondering if because you're acknowledging the subject is also mid subject being me unfortunately but i'm wondering if because you're acknowledging that it is art that maybe in like 50 years people look back at this post and they say oh man he was ahead of god man he had something to say that other people just move on yeah i would counter that by saying that a lot of art is appreciated in its time. Probably a lot more art. It's pretty rare that someone 50 years down the line...
Starting point is 00:31:33 Let's just go on. You didn't get the answer you wanted, but I feel like I've been loud and clear. I feel like there's room for negotiation here. Loud and clear, I think there's room for negotiation here. Loud and clear, I think there's room for negotiation here. I wonder if any of you could be swayed in your opinion about me being par. You are par for the course, and I will not be swayed. Did you see tar? I didn't.
Starting point is 00:32:03 I didn't oh this is so fucked up um plugs uh beyond that it was all wax episode let's get into some topics y'all want to talk about I'll take a back seat
Starting point is 00:32:34 and we can figure this shit out as we go that was the only segment you had I said we had a lot to get to you guys aren't exactly contributing in the ways I need you to what did we have to get to? Bond of the week and then a picture of you that I posted on Instagram? That was the preparation that we didn't get dive into deep enough?
Starting point is 00:32:56 I just thought that we would have a whole debate. I thought that maybe it wouldn't be three against one, me trying to like, you know, sisyphusianly change your guys's opinion uh i'm not not on your side but but time will tell that's what i'm saying that's what i'm saying and brad's saying there's not even room for growth in that way for public opinion to change 10 years ago everybody was wearing skin tight jeans now that's not cool to have. I don't know. I mean, I think
Starting point is 00:33:27 people thought that Vincent Van Gogh sucked, and he wore hats too, and now people like him, so there's hope. Yeah, but wasn't he like a little fucker? Like, wasn't he like a bad guy? He was like violent, I thought. He like abused his partners? Maybe that's why people didn't like his ass.
Starting point is 00:33:46 I don't know. I don't know if that's know if that's most painters sorry shut the fuck up i feel like most painters were abusive for sure john lennon and he sort of painted cords yeah also kind of mid in my eyes he's the middest beetle i agree who's your favorite beetle pa? Paul McCartney, easily. George Harrison. Yeah, the hat. That's a very George hat, actually. That's actually kind of sick. Abbey Road. He didn't wear it in Abbey Road.
Starting point is 00:34:20 They did a photo shoot around the time of Abbey Road where he wore a hat. Are you talking about the All Things Must Pass? He was wearing a hat on the cover of all things must pass too. I tried to recreate that photo. Before the hat? That was why it didn't work out because I didn't necessarily have the
Starting point is 00:34:38 clothes, the skills, the know-how to take a photo. You suck. This is banal. It's a zero burger. It's not waxing. Is that how you say it?
Starting point is 00:35:06 talking god I hope so yeah I thought it was banal laughing laughing laughing laughing um
Starting point is 00:35:19 listen is it my responsibility to come up with shit to keep the show going absolutely yes but what do you say no did anybody say no no 100 it is but i should also be able to bring things to the table and have them be explored and not shot down and people blame me depending on how this episode goes every week but when you guys show up without joy in your heart and even a little bit of the benefit of the doubt given unto me
Starting point is 00:35:47 by thee it's hard it's just hard and I'm not gonna keep sitting idly by that one's for all my brown fellows you keep saying that what is that idly idly it's like these little like rice ball things for they're like it's an Indian food you wouldn't yeah it's like these little like rice ball things for it's an Indian food
Starting point is 00:36:06 you wouldn't it's hard if you don't have culture it's actually not cool oh yeah I don't really know what they are the next episode Amir's wearing a sari because I am because I am.
Starting point is 00:36:26 Because I am. Brad, weren't you supposed to come to LA? Yeah, what the fuck was that? I'm Brad at you. Yeah, I didn't end up working out. Next time, though. For sure. Yeah. I'll make it down there
Starting point is 00:36:48 down Mexicali way no LA Los Angeles yeah Mexicali it's a different place you good weird you guys don't have anything you want to talk about it's like bring some shit you know what i mean i'm not even everybody's gonna jump down my throat again because i didn't have enough
Starting point is 00:37:18 prepared but you guys could talk about anything you could just let shit flow anytime i stop talking you guys just kind of settle down and you don't say anything yeah yeah you're like the host so you like bring stuff and then we discuss it you're showing up with nothing you're removing the thing you know on top of the plate and then it's just like i brought the hat i brought the news i brought bond of the week which we all know to expect and i've come expect. And I brought The Debate, which, by the way, is kind of dynamic. Let's talk about the Chinese spy balloon. Who do you think was behind it? Probably the Chinese.
Starting point is 00:37:57 Government or... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder if we send a head gum spy balloon over to Earwolf. That's a good idea, actually. Just over a closed office building.
Starting point is 00:38:13 And it accidentally goes off course and flies above China and you start World War III. How big was this thing? Do we know? It was 200 feet tall no it wasn't it was it was yeah
Starting point is 00:38:28 it's a really big balloon 100% it was generally what balloons do wow I wonder how it did not go too high or too low like usually balloons are like you know
Starting point is 00:38:44 lighter than air or heavier, and they'll drift up or down. But for it to just stay that height, pretty impressive. All right, I just opened chat GPT. What do you guys want to see? Oh, my lord. What?
Starting point is 00:38:58 Minute 37. We already filled in the dead air. Now you want to start a full new segment? Have it write a segment for the show. That's a good idea for next week. That's a good idea. Hey, I'm an inept host, and I can't come up with a single idea.
Starting point is 00:39:20 Is there anything that you think that four people could discuss in a fun fashion? And then chat GPT because it's, you know, artificially intelligent. Damn, Daniel! Someone asked me to describe this show the other day because they asked what I did for a living, and I honestly couldn't. They were like, what's it about?
Starting point is 00:39:46 What do you do? You know? I don't think ChatGPT will be able to outline an episode of this show, because I just typed the first thing I said. I said, tell Amir he is mid. It said, I'm sorry, but as an AI language model, it is not within my programming
Starting point is 00:40:03 to insult or belittle individuals. And that seems to be all I'm met with on this show. Yeah, I don't think you gave it the correct prompt then. Like you have to ask it to come up with segment ideas and all you did was just sort of type an insult. Say, what's a segment idea that sounds like deal or no deal because it rhymes with deal or no deal. And then it would probably fart out something slightly better
Starting point is 00:40:25 than squeal or no squeal. Which is something you actually came up with and we played last week. Alright, the title is called Cash Vault. In this game show a contestant is presented with a vault containing a random amount of cash ranging from a small amount to a large jackpot. Let's just do plugs.
Starting point is 00:40:44 This is so fucked up. I was excited for this episode and now i'm soured on it why are you excited because i had energy i had the bitters at the hat i had a whole thing to get to and you were you were expecting us to come debate whether or not you meant to call me mid all right you didn't even open it up to normal discussion you just off the bat said yeah I meant to call you that what kind of segment is that a quick one you asked me a yes or no question
Starting point is 00:41:17 I answered yeah not a segment yeah that really fast question at Jeffrey James on Instagram at Jeff Barty on Twitter Not a segment. Yeah. That really fast question. At Jeffrey James on Instagram. At Jeff Priority on Twitter. What do you guys want to plug and point the people to?
Starting point is 00:41:33 We have a live stream today, if you're listening to this on Friday morning at noon Pacific, 3 p.m. Eastern. Brad, what do you got? I'm going to plug this show, my favorite show on the HeadGum Network. There's no way. The HeadGum Podcast. Easy to describe. There's no to describe easy to figure out easy to know what you're gonna get episode to episode
Starting point is 00:41:51 like whenever whenever the the person recently asked me to describe it i i something came into my head i was like it's kind of like whenever you know like when you're a kid and you like wake up on a saturday and like some friends from school like invited you to go play basketball or something and then you like go into the kitchen your mom's like oh your dad's outside he's building a deck and then you got to spend your weekend like building a deck and then you like go to school on monday and like kurt weisman shows up in a cast and everyone's like go to school on Monday and like Kurt Wiseman shows up in a cast and everyone's like, oh, it was so cool. Like Kurt tried to dunk and he like touched the rim and he fell and he like shattered his arm
Starting point is 00:42:32 and like you had to be there and he like wouldn't let you sign his cast because you weren't there and you felt like kind of shunned. And now you're 31 and you just bought a house and you need a new deck. But instead you're here on a show i i guess what i'm trying none of that had anything to do with what you were trying to say i'm i'm you're mad at kurt weissman i'm glad to be here to see you break your arm i feel included.
Starting point is 00:43:05 You know? And that's what I like about the show is that... You feel better about yourself whenever you come on the show. We all get to see you try to dunk and hurt yourself. We're the cast.
Starting point is 00:43:20 Yeah. Sometimes we dunk. Gash Cab was kind of funny. That was a year ago. Allie, what do you got? I haven't talked about that ever since. The live stream, and then you can follow me on Twitter or Instagram or Letterboxd at AllieCon. And if you want to Venmo med at AllieCon. And if you want to Venmo me,
Starting point is 00:43:45 at AllieCon. Nice. Amir? I'm on line. Shrooms. that was a Hidgum original

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.