The Headgum Podcast - 142: Banal
Episode Date: February 17, 2023Amir, Allie, and Brad join Geoff to discuss Geoff's new hat, Geoff's mid-ness, and Geoff's banality! Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fm Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on App...le Podcasts Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Spotify Join the Headgum DiscordSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a HeadGum Original.
Previously on the HeadGum Podcast.
Was it that-
So you get $1,000, right?
That's $1,000 over Venmo.
That's awesome.
Can I do it Danish?
No, it only worked once, so.
I'm going to probably request you for that cash.
I'll keep looking at my phone.
Yeah, definitely make sure it goes through.
Make sure to deposit it immediately.
Micah's taking his phone off airplane mode
the fast deposit that you have to pay like
so if there's any interruption
in the quality of our audio Micah took his phone
off airplane mode but it's worth it
yeah it's worth it because it means a thousand dollars
my Venmo's been suspended
suspicious activity
are you on cash app?
I'm on Apple Pay but I can't
help but feel like I don't have the cash is the other thing.
It's like this was what I was trying to send, and then now it's saying your account's been
blocked from sending transfers.
I don't see that notification.
That really sucks. Sometimes you need to get the hat before you become that man.
You know what I mean?
Like, I'm not this yet, but the hat's gonna make me it.
Brad, you look exhausted.
I do?
It just started and you look absolutely devastated.
It's kind of rude, but all right.
I was going to try to be nice to you today,
but you show up with this hat.
You look like a goth pylon.
You have a hatitude.
What is that?
What was that little bottle?
It's a non-alcoholic bitter drink.
Oh. It's sort of become my my excuse me one second actually it's actually become sort of my afternoon pick me up pick you
up perfect we've got the guy with the leaf blower out the front door now that's good for audio
yeah i guess what's in the drink glad Glad you asked. Herbs, spices.
It's like a tea that isn't really good for you.
It's bright red.
What?
Let's not make it the Amir and Jeff show.
Brad, Allie, how the hell are you?
I'm good.
I'm stuck between a Kyle Richards joke
and a Salem witch trial joke
for the hat.
Let's go with the Salem one.
Yeah. How was the burning?
That's good.
What was that Brad?
I just laughed
at you.
We've got a lot to get to today.
Amir was a little bit late
today so I'm trying not to let that sour
my attitude up top in a way.
This whole schedule
has been a mess. This whole schedule has been a mess.
Recording at 4.15.
In a way. On the day.
Yes, we've never done that on
hump day.
Did you guys have sex this morning?
This morning?
Yes! It's Wednesday!
Let's move on.
Bond of the Week, I'm back to Aaron Taylor Johnson.
He did a backflip for Vanity Fair.
Did you guys see that?
I did see that.
I want to see...
He didn't hurt himself on the first one. fair. Did you guys see that? I did see that. I want to see. But he did it.
Let's.
He didn't hurt himself on the first one.
Very close to the kneecaps, he said.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just think I'd love to see James doing like, I don't know, gymnastics
at the very least, if not a backflip.
Why is that funny?
sticks at the very least if not a backflip why is that funny i got this thing for 40 at a flea market at a bowl much that's really much yeah because some
of these i thought some of these go for like a hundred dollars good ones do but this one is
not stained with cum yeah what is that uh it's a hat what would you even call
that hat what do you even it's a pharrell hat is what i've been calling it but like but like
it looks broken like it looks broken in it looks broken in because it's vintage so i don't even
have to like make sure that the bend is just so there's a little dent in it. How little dent in it?
And I wear stain on it.
Yes, that's fine.
It's character building.
You didn't like wash it.
At least like spot clean it.
When you buy the fuck am I supposed to wash it?
Brad?
I said spot clean.
God damn it.
Wait your turn.
Right. In conversation, it's important to listen and then respond intelligently and intelligibly. Wait your turn Right?
In conversation it's important to listen
And then respond intelligently
And intelligibly
How is that vintage?
Like when did people ever wear that style of a hat?
16, 12?
Like that's not
Vintage to what year is that?
Vintage to what year is that vintage to what year is that yeah like is that like a 20s style or 80s style like when was that hat made i would have to assume the 19th century because it's kind of a rancher hat i would say
you know somebody goes to like out west uh you know, an oaky, let's say, trying to find California.
But instead, what's that?
No.
No, what?
Just to the whole thing?
Yeah, there's no way.
Enough about the hat.
Why don't you guys talk amongst yourselves for a bit.
Get all the bullshit out that you guys want to talk about.
And then we can get back to the actual show.
What is this?
I forgot we were recording today.
Yeah.
So you weren't like prepared.
I wasn't prepared.
Where did you get that?
Where did you get the drink?
It's just a small bottle.
Yeah, it's only like six ounces, which is enough.
I got it at the pharmacy of wine.
It's right by the office, actually.
The pharmacy of wine?
It's La Pharmacie du vin, right?
Meaning it's sort of a pharmacy of wine.
Cool.
You guys really aren't bringing anything to the table this week.
Last week was sort of a train wreck, a disaster,
because I didn't bring anything to the table.
Today, not only do we have a ton to get to,
but you guys aren't saying
anything. Well, you just
lambasted me for interrupting
you when I was just talking normally.
You started off
with such a sour mood. I said I
was going to try to be nice to you this time
because last time a lot of the comments were
like, oh, it's cool to see Brad taking Jeff down a peg,
but you're making it really hard
and you're making me regret my decision
to say yes to coming on the show.
That's true.
My Bond of the Week is Rachel Weisz.
Say more about that.
I think it would be fun to do a little husband wife Swap
So maybe she's James Bond
And he teams up with
Brendan Fraser and they kiss
Is Rachel Weisz
Married to Daniel Craig is that what you're saying
Yes
That's awesome that's a really good bottom line
That is what I'm saying thank you let's all
give ally some dabs grab say something nice that was a really good bond of the week chicken looks
uh spectacular in the second one was a compliment to the cat not to a compliment to the cat is a compliment to the cat owner okay so
yeah
Amir
yeah
I don't know fucking
Dane Cook
or something
fucking Dave Cook
yeah it's been like
one week a hundred weeks yeah I'm out of ideas I've been fucking Dave Cook. Yeah, it's been like...
One week since you looked at me. A hundred weeks, yeah.
I'm out of ideas.
It doesn't matter.
Well, if you think the wells run dry for this,
then why hasn't Broccoli come forward with the news of the next James?
Broccoli?
Barbara.
Barbara Broccoli, the producer of James Bond.
007.
I'm just saying, like,
we only
meet here once a week. I'm sure
that Sony Pictures, Barbara Broccoli,
and everyone behind James Bond
is meeting about the next 007
on a daily basis. So I'm just like,
there's no way the well
is run drier than theirs.
Because we only talk about it
once a week.
They talk about it every day.
Does that make sense?
Respond fast.
Don't just go like,
I already said yes.
Even before you said respond fast.
Say it fast.
I did.
That's also how
normal conversations work.
Correct.
I agree.
And I did say it fast.
Yeah.
It's true.
Maybe they'll pick out of a hat your hat
too many names in this hat
it's pretty much down to
Rene Jean Page or whatever the fuck
and Aaron Taylor Johnson
are you gonna
are you gonna wear the hat on a normal day
or is it just sort of a bit for today Are you going to wear the hat on a normal day?
Or is it just a sort of a bit for today?
On a normal day.
I really want this to be, I want to be known as,
like Pharrell is kind of synonymous with this hat.
I don't need to be synonymous with this hat,
but I want to be synonymous with hats.
Like, you know, everybody needs a thang. Like for Brad, it's like CLE hats.
Like, you know, everybody needs a thang.
Like, for Brad, it's like CLE hats.
No, you don't need to base your personality on an item of clothing.
Try growing as a human.
How about?
And it seems like that hat's taken by Pharrell.
Looks like you're just trying to...
All right, all right.
Now we're getting somewhere with the
the sort of dynamism
of the conversation
you guys had some overlapping dialogue there
you had some points of view
that were strong and contrary to mine
that's where the comedy comes from right
I disagree about the
article of clothing I will say
I think you become the hat and the hat
is you.
Does that make sense?
Sure.
Shirt.
Let's talk about it.
What's the shirt you guys wear the most often
and get compliments of?
Because I got five compliments
within 10 minutes of buying the shit at a bowl.
People complimented your hat.
What'd they say?
I bought the hat.
I put it on immediately.
Within seconds, I got two compliments
from two different shop owners.
But was it like, hey, nice hat?
Yes.
But like, hey, nice hat.
There was no sarcastic undertone,
if that's what you're getting at.
And two people were like, I wish I had bought that hat.
Oh, wow.
What was that?
I said, oh, wow.
Hat confidence is not easy to gain, so I respect that you have it.
And is that C-O-N-fidence or is that K-A-H-A-N-fidence?
Confidence.
C-O-N.
That's good.
I'm back on board now.
Let's talk about the state of the network.
This is not like an official state of the gum,
but I'd love to talk about some intricacies of the inner workings.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
When does this episode come out?
It comes out on Friday.
Like in two days?
Like in two days, yes. The 17th.
Great.
I'm smiling because he doesn't think I can get it done.
Last week we recorded
on Thursday.
So this is sort of a step in the right direction.
I guess one thing to at least talk about
is if you're listening to this before noon,
we're doing a live stream for If I Were You,
and I think Jeff's going to be on it too, right?
Yeah, I'll be there.
Yeah, so that's from 12 to question mark,
question mark 30, either 1230 or 130,
and then you guys can log in and check that out.
Maybe you're listening to this during that period right now,
and you can stop this insanity and move on to the live stream.
That's a good idea.
Yeah, I guess so.
It felt like an organic plug because you were talking about the state of the network,
and this was happening during that.
You're also going to be on it.
So why are you mad that people would leave here to go watch you?
I mean, I'm down to plug it.
I just there's this whole section of the show at the end for plugs.
So let's talk about the.
Yeah.
You just asked about the network
yes let's talk about the intricacies
the inner workings
okay
don't anyone
on this make yourselves like
small because then I look like a monster
like Brad and Allie are both
like okay
what is going on Brad in your
neck of the woods of the company?
And what do you even do?
I don't know.
You don't know what I do?
Do you work in ad sales?
What do you think I do?
I think you work in ad sales.
There you go.
Yeah.
So that's true.
It's good.
Yeah.
It's awesome.
We're killing it on a weekly basis.
How much money?
Do you want me to give you a specific number? I'm not going to do that. I'll bleep it. Okay. No. All right. But it's going well. It's good. Yeah. Good. Yeah. Or is it like we're we do well. You know, when people say that it's like one second. Is it like where people are like, oh, you know, we do well. So that kind of thing. I don't know what you mean.
Like when...
Yeah.
Forget it.
Yeah, it's great.
Portland office.
Did I get a raise? No.
Last year. You didn't?
I mean, I haven't been here that long.
Neither has Joel. He got a raise.
He did? Yeah.
Joel's in Patagonia right now
since May
which by the way
is when Joel started so
we started on the same day
maybe it's probably performance
based I wouldn't be upset about it
oh
are you upset?
Nah.
Nah?
No, it's important to talk about these things.
You know, employee solidarity and communication.
That way the fat cats like Amir
don't just hoard everything for their whore selves.
You're not an employee, so...
I'm trying to help your ass.
Don't start an uprising
if you're like not even part of the class here.
Like you're not part of the company,
quite frankly.
And I'm a company man, okay?
Yeah.
That's, yeah.
I'm sorry to hear that, I guess i guess i mean you guys are shitting
yourselves if you don't think i'm the reason why adam mckay's podcast network hasn't done well
you know it's not that claire slaughter's doing a bad job it's that i have been sort of
dipping my toes in the waters over there uh sowing seeds of doubt and dissent amongst the
underlings and the overlings uh basically leading to whatever the lack of team building
is to ensure
the
failure, or at least downward spiral
of that company. I don't even know what it's called, but
that way, HeadGum does slightly better. Does that make sense?
No. Yeah, you're saying
you're not helping us out, but
to make up for it, you're actively sabotaging
our competition, which
isn't really our competition
and whose names you don't even know.
Correct.
I ran into somebody.
What's up?
Got it.
Did you see my comments on your hat post?
What's hat?
I did.
I was driving.
So next time, just maybe wait till I get home
because I almost got in an accident.
But it was the thing of like,
I saw your comment and I kind of read it as like
an exasperated what's that where you don't say the T.
So it's like, what's that?
Fuck you guys!
Let's talk about dating in Portland Brad what's it like
What's the scene where are the spots
Where do you go out
Well I'm not dating anyone
I'm married
You're married
I mean we go on
No we went out last night
Great so you do date
sure man
yeah
yeah
I've said this so many times but you're never supposed to stop
you don't stop dating your wife
and I don't and I didn't and we do
and I did
so where are the
so what's dating your wife like in Portland Oregon
it's good and fun and it rains yes So what's dating your wife like in Portland, Oregon?
It's good and fun And it rains
Do you want like specific restaurants?
I don't know how to answer that question
Yes, I do
I want to know the spots
I don't even remember the name of it
We went to a Thai place last night that I got a reservation for
And it was delicious
There's a tattoo shop above it. It's on
Hawthorne
Street. Love Hawthorne. Absolutely.
You do? House is Vintage?
House of Vintage is great.
They have a lot of hats there.
Well, I'm sort of set in the hat. I mean, I'll always
window shop, but I'm sort of set
for now. No, you should
expand
the collection. You ever go to revolution hall
yeah all right ally let's talk about dating in portland what are the spots where do you go
slash where have you gone to sort of get ziggy with it, Stardust or otherwise.
In Portland?
I've only been,
I went once when I was like 18.
I know that the public transportation is very good there.
I would recommend taking a bus or a trolley
and seeing what happens.
Hell yeah.
Amir?
I went to a Thai restaurant
With Brad and his wife last night
Yeah that was nice
It was cool that you showed up
We split a pad C
Ew
He made that joke last night
Twice last night
This is the third time um
we didn't really
dive into the state of the network
like what's going on we have a live stream
the day this comes out
that's it and ad sales are going
fine
well I said good
yeah that's true
okay so ad sales are going good
to mid oh that'll come back around I said good. Yeah, that's true. Okay, so ad sales are going good?
To mid.
Oh, that'll come back around after the ad break.
Oh, yeah.
Good.
Thank you.
Here's my gripe about this show.
What? Yeah.
Amir says dumber shit than me.
There's just this dynamic that's been set up
where anything he says turns to gold
and everything I say turns to mold.
Like, him doing an impression of the Hannah Montana transition music
isn't funny.
But then, like, both Brad and Ali were both like,
that's funny, that's cool.
And then I say something that I think is kind of clever.
Like what?
And nobody does anything. That's does anything clever i don't know i would i would say we've given your hat a lot of attention yeah but not why you wear it yeah why would you wear that hat
if not to say talk about it
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Welcome to the hat.
Hey.
Hey.
Chicken cracks up.
Chicken cracks up chicken cracks corn yeah
see like right there that wasn't funny at all
and Brad can't control himself he's having to lean
away from the mic
it's funny to imagine that's how
that's how Ally's cat
chicken
laughs.
I like that chicken's becoming a recurring
character on the pod. Just like
how New York is often a character
in Sex and the City.
Yeah, chicken is like a character
on
New York.
I agree.
I mean,
let's stay off the emails
and let's stay off the text
threads while we're on the podcast.
I'm not asking for a lot.
You are.
And I won't.
And if I do, it's not because you asked me. Last week, Amir posted this photo that he took of a monitor when we were shooting sketches last Friday.
And he captured it, me.
As promised from my script story
I said that we would dive into what exactly he meant
when he was post
on this episode of the show
because frankly I didn't appreciate it
and
sorry
I said
on my Instagram story that I would get to the bottom of exactly what Amir meant when he posted this.
So, like I said, I didn't appreciate it.
I think I'm more than mid.
I think I'm at the very least above average Broadway video style.
But what did you mean Amir? Did you mean,
let's like figure this shit out because I didn't, again, I didn't appreciate it. The very least we
could nip this in the bud, uh, and be like, oh, I just was like putting a caption and just like,
it's like something that's in the ether, which would make me feel a lot better. But if it was
that you think I'm mid, or if you think the sketch I wrote that we were shooting on this day was mid,
mid or if you think the sketch I wrote that we were shooting on this day was mid
then I
I'm not gonna just sit idly by
and I'm not gonna sit idly by
that one's for all my brown fellows
it's just it's not
it's not okay with me you know you have to
self-advocate and that's what I'm doing here
so let's get to the bottom of it what do you mean
I meant that you were mid.
Sorry?
Amir, I'm not giving you an out to not hurt my feelings.
I'm saying you could just say that it was just a game.
Liked by Brad at the bottom there.
Yeah.
And that's what I thought he meant
when I saw the post. That's why I smashed that like button. Yeah. And that's what I thought he meant when I saw the post. That's why I smashed that like button. Yeah. Did what did you think he meant the hat was mid and that's why you got a new hat or.
I again I had no idea what you meant. I obviously took offense because I assumed the worst. But I like to think that worst case scenarios don't often happen you know whether that's in an effort to ease my own
anxiety or whatever but you know
not in this case
the question is
what's the undertone
you know what's the context let's get all that too
before you just kind of straightforwardly
say that you were saying I was mid because it can't be
that it has to be that you know
holistically you were trying to
make other people laugh you're
trying to spread joy by playing into this kind of honestly character that i i play that you play
like in these public spaces because obviously when we hang out just the two of us are in the office
it's like we talk about other stuff we like talk about intelligent things things we've read things
that we enjoy uh there's a real kinship there there's a real like mentor mentee style uh
dynamic there uh but publicly
facing you got to make people smile right you got to make people have joy and so i was wondering is
that what you were doing here with this caption it's like oh he's mid you know and then like and
then as i bring it up on the show you're also playing into that is that what was happening
uh
no just calling you like average.
Absolutely.
And then just diving into that sentence.
Is it that you hold all of us to a standard that's already subpar in a golf term,
above average in another term where it's like at head gum we achieve such
excellence that again like doing well at head gum is doing fine at other companies good nor do i
think you're that bad you're right in the mean mean and i'd rather be bad i'd rather you have a hard opinion about me either way to be
mid in someone's eyes i think is the lowest form of congeniality because it frankly lacks that
yeah yeah and my thing is like i'm just really trying to give you the benefit of the doubt here because otherwise I might cry. Did you mean that this photo of a photo of me
captured a part of me that you'd consider mid?
Or is it holistically that me as a person ain't it, ain't him?
You're not that dude.
You're not him.
You're not that guy, pal.
You're an that dude. You're not him. You're not that guy, pal. You're an average Joe.
Where did you come from?
Where did you go?
Where did you come from?
You're an average Joe.
You're a five out of ten.
A C-man.
So, C-man.
You're just totally gray.
You're tan, you're beige.
Right in the middle.
Or mid.
Well, I know a lot of people that love neutral palettes, Jeff.
Yeah, mid isn't necessarily a bad thing.
It's specifically not a bad thing.
Yeah, you're just like unnoticeable.
If you get blood tests, like results back, you want to be in the middle there.
Don't want to be too high or too low.
It's just hard because like, I don know strive for excellence you know everybody wants to be
great at what they do they even if you end up like you know reach for the stars you'll land
on the clouds whatever it's a good fail safe to be mid but to be at this point in my career
in my life i'm 25 like to be considered mid instead of on the rise.
Or, like, at least above par for my age.
You know, leaves me feeling like I did in this photo.
Can you see my face, Brad?
What is it? The picture is also kind of mid.
It's upside down.
It's kind of illegible a little bit.
I didn't take the picture. Did you think't take the picture did you think i took the picture
because amir took no no no it's just mid pick for a mid guy you know so you're saying the framing
which is kind of fine to bad matches the subject well yeah it's almost artistic like that's why i
part of the reason why i dropped a like on it. Like I, it, it speaks to the subject of the photo.
The framing.
Let's go on that for a second.
Let me finish though.
Like the framing, the lighting, how like you can't really, like it's a little blurry.
Sure.
Like it, it, it, art imitates mid.
Yeah.
Here's my thing.
And let's go off that for a second.
A lot of great art, art that we consider
amazing now, at the time
was not received well.
And this was posted, what, four days ago?
And, you know, not only was the photo,
as Brad said, sort of average.
You're saying the subject
is also mid. The subject being me,
unfortunately. But I'm wondering if because you're acknowledging the subject is also mid subject being me unfortunately but i'm wondering
if because you're acknowledging that it is art that maybe in like 50 years people look back at
this post and they say oh man he was ahead of god man he had something to say that other people just
move on yeah i would counter that by saying that a lot of art is appreciated in its time.
Probably a lot more art.
It's pretty rare that someone 50 years down the line...
Let's just go on.
You didn't get the answer you wanted, but I feel like I've been loud and clear.
I feel like there's room for negotiation here.
Loud and clear, I think there's room for negotiation here. Loud and clear, I think there's room for negotiation here.
I wonder if any of you could be swayed in your opinion about me being par.
You are par for the course, and I will not be swayed.
Did you see tar?
I didn't.
I didn't oh this is so
fucked up
um
plugs
uh beyond that
it was all wax episode
let's get into some topics
y'all want to talk about I'll take a back seat
and we can figure this shit out as we go
that was the only
segment you had
I said we had a lot to get to you guys aren't exactly
contributing in the ways I need you to
what did we have to get to?
Bond of the week and then a picture of you that I posted on Instagram?
That was the preparation that we didn't get dive into deep enough?
I just thought that we would have a whole debate.
I thought that maybe it wouldn't be three against one,
me trying to like, you know,
sisyphusianly change your guys's opinion uh i'm
not not on your side but but time will tell that's what i'm saying that's what i'm saying and brad's
saying there's not even room for growth in that way for public opinion to change 10 years ago
everybody was wearing skin tight jeans now that's not cool to have.
I don't know. I mean, I think
people thought that Vincent Van Gogh
sucked, and he wore hats too,
and now people like him, so there's hope.
Yeah, but wasn't he like a little
fucker? Like, wasn't he like a bad
guy? He was like violent, I thought. He like
abused his partners?
Maybe that's why people didn't like his ass.
I don't know. I don't know if that's know if that's most painters sorry shut the fuck up i feel like most painters were abusive for sure
john lennon and he sort of painted cords yeah also kind of mid in my eyes he's the middest beetle
i agree who's your favorite beetle pa? Paul McCartney, easily.
George Harrison.
Yeah, the hat. That's a very George hat, actually.
That's actually kind of sick.
Abbey Road.
He didn't wear it in Abbey Road.
They did a photo shoot around the time of Abbey Road where he wore a hat.
Are you talking about the All Things Must Pass?
He was wearing a hat on the cover
of all things must pass too.
I tried to recreate that photo.
Before the hat?
That was why it didn't work out because I didn't
necessarily have the
clothes, the skills, the
know-how to
take a photo.
You suck.
This is banal.
It's a zero burger.
It's not waxing.
Is that how you say it?
talking
god I hope so
yeah I thought it was banal
laughing
laughing
laughing
laughing
um
listen is it my responsibility
to come up with shit to keep the show going
absolutely yes
but what do you say no did anybody say no no
100 it is but i should also be able to bring things to the table and have them be explored
and not shot down and people blame me depending on how this episode goes every week but when you
guys show up without joy in your heart and even a little bit of the benefit
of the doubt given unto me
by thee it's hard
it's just hard and I'm not gonna
keep sitting idly by
that one's for all my brown fellows
you keep saying that what is that idly
idly it's like these
little like rice ball things
for they're like it's an Indian food you wouldn't yeah it's like these little like rice ball things for it's an Indian food
you wouldn't
it's hard if you don't have culture
it's actually not cool
oh yeah
I don't really know what they are
the next episode Amir's wearing a sari
because I am
because I am.
Because I am.
Brad, weren't you supposed to come to LA?
Yeah, what the fuck was that?
I'm Brad at you.
Yeah, I didn't end up working out.
Next time, though.
For sure.
Yeah. I'll make it down there
down Mexicali way
no LA
Los Angeles yeah
Mexicali
it's a different place
you good weird
you guys don't have anything you want to talk about it's like bring some shit you know what
i mean i'm not even everybody's gonna jump down my throat again because i didn't have enough
prepared but you guys could talk about anything you could just let shit flow anytime i stop
talking you guys just kind of settle down and you don't say anything yeah yeah you're like the host so you like bring stuff and then we
discuss it you're showing up with nothing you're removing the thing you know on top of the plate
and then it's just like i brought the hat i brought the news i brought bond of the week
which we all know to expect and i've come expect. And I brought The Debate, which, by the way, is kind of dynamic.
Let's talk about the Chinese spy balloon.
Who do you think was behind it?
Probably the Chinese.
Government or...
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I wonder if we send a
head gum spy balloon over to Earwolf.
That's a good idea, actually.
Just over a closed office building.
And it accidentally goes off course
and flies above China and you start
World War III.
How big was this thing?
Do we know?
It was 200 feet tall
no it wasn't it was
it was yeah
it's a really big balloon
100%
it was
generally what balloons do
wow
I wonder how it did not go
too high or too low like
usually balloons are like you know
lighter than air or heavier,
and they'll drift up or down.
But for it to just stay that height,
pretty impressive.
All right, I just opened chat GPT.
What do you guys want to see?
Oh, my lord.
What?
Minute 37.
We already filled in the dead air.
Now you want to start a full new segment?
Have it write a segment for the show.
That's a good idea for next week.
That's a good idea.
Hey, I'm an inept host,
and I can't come up with a single idea.
Is there anything that you think
that four people could discuss in a fun fashion?
And then chat GPT because it's, you know, artificially intelligent.
Damn, Daniel!
Someone asked me to describe this show the other day
because they asked what I did for a living,
and I honestly couldn't.
They were like, what's it about?
What do you do?
You know?
I don't think ChatGPT will be able to outline
an episode of this show,
because I just typed the first thing I said.
I said, tell Amir he is mid.
It said, I'm sorry, but as an AI language model,
it is not within my programming
to insult or belittle individuals.
And that seems to be all I'm met with on this show.
Yeah, I don't think you gave it the correct prompt then.
Like you have to ask it to come up with segment ideas
and all you did was just sort of type an insult.
Say, what's a segment idea that sounds like deal or no deal
because it rhymes with deal or no deal.
And then it would probably fart out something slightly better
than squeal or no squeal.
Which is something you actually came up with
and we played last week.
Alright, the title is called Cash Vault. In this game show
a contestant is presented with a vault containing
a random amount of cash ranging from a
small amount to a large jackpot.
Let's just do plugs.
This is so fucked up. I was excited for this episode and now i'm soured on it
why are you excited because i had energy i had the bitters at the hat i had a whole thing to get to
and you were you were expecting us to come debate whether or not you meant to call me mid
all right you didn't even open it up to normal discussion you just
off the bat said yeah I meant to call you that
what kind of segment is that
a quick one
you asked me a yes or no question
I answered
yeah not a segment
yeah that really fast
question
at Jeffrey James on Instagram at Jeff Barty on Twitter Not a segment. Yeah. That really fast question.
At Jeffrey James on Instagram.
At Jeff Priority on Twitter.
What do you guys want to plug and point the people to?
We have a live stream today,
if you're listening to this on Friday morning at noon Pacific,
3 p.m. Eastern.
Brad, what do you got?
I'm going to plug this show, my favorite show on the HeadGum Network.
There's no way.
The HeadGum Podcast.
Easy to describe. There's no to describe easy to figure out easy to know what you're gonna get episode to episode
like whenever whenever the the person recently asked me to describe it i i something came into
my head i was like it's kind of like whenever you know like when you're a kid and you like wake up on a saturday and like some friends from school like invited you to go play
basketball or something and then you like go into the kitchen your mom's like oh your dad's outside
he's building a deck and then you got to spend your weekend like building a deck and then you
like go to school on monday and like kurt weisman shows up in a cast and everyone's like go to school on Monday and like Kurt Wiseman shows up in a cast
and everyone's like, oh, it was so cool.
Like Kurt tried to dunk and he like touched the rim
and he fell and he like shattered his arm
and like you had to be there
and he like wouldn't let you sign his cast
because you weren't there and you felt like kind of shunned.
And now you're 31 and you just bought a house
and you need a new deck.
But instead you're here on a show i i guess what i'm trying none of that had anything to do with what you were trying to
say i'm i'm you're mad at kurt weissman i'm glad to be here to see you break your arm
i feel included.
You know?
And that's what I like about the show is that...
You feel better about yourself
whenever you come on the show.
We all get to see you
try to dunk
and hurt yourself.
We're the cast.
Yeah.
Sometimes we dunk.
Gash Cab was kind of funny.
That was a year ago.
Allie, what do you got?
I haven't talked about that ever since.
The live stream, and then you can follow me on Twitter or Instagram or Letterboxd at AllieCon.
And if you want to Venmo med at AllieCon. And if you want to Venmo me,
at AllieCon.
Nice.
Amir?
I'm on
line.
Shrooms. that was a
Hidgum original