The Headgum Podcast - 232: Soura

Episode Date: December 6, 2024

Marika, Amir, and Anya join Geoff to discuss the duff of the podcast, Marika’s druthers, and play some brutal rounds of Sex or Next!» FOLLOW Amir on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amir/» FOLLOW Marika on Letterboxd: https://letterboxd.com/marikaelon/» FOLLOW Anya on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.lovemotel/Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple PodcastsRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on SpotifyJoin the Headgum DiscordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HITGUM original. McRib is here. People throwing parties, ugly sweaters everywhere. Stockings hung up by the chimney with care. It could only mean one thing. McRib is here. At Participating McDonald's for a limited time. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast. Interesting. I feel like when I went to that bar with you,

there was a lot of hot people there. Which bar? The Zebulon. Yeah. Interesting I feel like when I went to that bar with you there's a lot of hot people there which bar the zabulon Yeah Do we have to believe that out people show out, but it still is so it there's an air of desperation Mm-hmm, yeah, I mean that's very LA in general for sure the desperate city. It's a desperate city That's why I've calmed into what I am today, which is sort of like a Zen Version of myself where it's like I could take or leave anything like ask me if I care about something

It seems like you hold a grudge you you named three or four people that hate you in your song up top And that's only that's three of many Yeah, that I could have things affect you Chambers hasn't returned any of my calls. Ryan Chambers are head of sales. Yeah. ["The I get it when you guys come at me almost immediately, right? Okay, it was just like an affirmation. During the theme song, you're saying shit like totally. Like this whole thing is all encompassing. This is a subtle show. This is smart humor.

This is topical and evergreen. Hard to do both. And we come together to create joy for others, every single week, by the way. And I don't think we've ever missed. I think when none of the content makes sense, it's easy to be both topical and Evergreen in a way. Go.

And that's not, that's a positive thing about this show. That's what I was going to say, right? And that's not, that's a positive thing about this show. That's what I was gonna say, right? Two weeks ago, you weren't here. One week ago, we just didn't release an episode. That's true. And now we're sort of back. Yeah. We didn't have an ad,

instead of having come having had. We came having had no ads, because we have soured every brand partnership we've had. Which even with BetterHelp, which by the way is hard to do, I mean, I thought that we were helping people. I thought this show was sort of the perfect example of why people need help. Because if you're listening to this, you should also be in therapy to undo the effect this show has.

Because I guess it's totally, like, what is that? Have you completely rebounded from your illness? I have a rebound case. I have a rebound case. As in I'm contagious through tech. That sucks. No way. No, guys, we've never been more back.

I don't even know what to say. It's as if we never left, as in this show lives in the heart. We never said goodbye. Is this the last episode, by the way? I forgot to ask. Every week you're on, you wish it was and it ain't. This shit's going gonna live on forever because of the way it brings people to grin

during the live shows. I mean, we've barely recapped that. That was nearly a month ago. We had, we must have recapped. We barely did. We said it happened and that's basically it. I do wonder when the next one is. Cause I know that we were told you're shit out of luck from SF SketchFest, right?

We submitted the show to Janet Varney's festival, and she is on my... Oh my God. ...that I want to say. No, no, no. She's so nice. I love her to death, and I didn't know she organized that festival.

I love her on, uh, you're the worst. But, um... Yeah, she's like such a sweetie. Nothing but nice things to say about everyone. Until it comes to the show. Probably should bleep the, um... Yeah, she's like such a sweetie. Nice things to say about everyone. Show. Right. Probably should believe it. Didn't give us. Yeah. That part.

I wanted to do a show at the Great American Music Hall and she said, Hall, no to the show. Right. So I'm wondering when we do another Hall and note, Hall and notes. That's really good because she had notes. I guess she'd listen to the show or something.

I mean, I feel like this whole thing the show or something. I mean... You wish. I feel like this whole thing is a fly trap to Varney. I think it's the glue that brings her to this. If we get her on the show, she'll be... Is like, you need to think of it more like honey pot appealing, not like fly trap disgusting. Not sending them on their way out. To Varney.

What's that, Marika? It's just a fly trap tovarny. And the after-after is gonna be at the varnish, right? Imagine a dipped sandwich at Kohl's, washed it all down with a vodka martini, not dirty at all. Which, by the way, is just vodka. And it's hot. Is it?

Does it have? Doesn't have vermouth. That's truth. That's truth. I recently was at a party. A party or a Varney. I'm trying to nail it down. This was a party for sure.

That's really good. This is actually a party. Kind of unnecessary. This is actually a party for thought. It's a Janet Arnie for what? This is a party for the movie Y2K. Yes, starring Daniel Mooney. No.

I thought he went by his middle name Kyle, but his Mooney. No. I thought he went by his middle name, Kyle, but his first name was Daniel. Did you like it? I liked the movie a lot, Amir. And I had a good time, and I was at this after party, and I was like, hey, free drinks, now is the time that I'm finally going to try a martini.

And I ordered... I ordered this so wrong. Like, you can't imagineini and I ordered I ordered this so wrong. Like you can't imagine how wrong I ordered it. I ordered a dirty martini. The guy was like vodka gin. Immediately I freeze up. I didn't expect a question. Can I get an oat? No, can I get a hell yeah. if that's a cocktail or a chant?

I ordered I said gin one. I don't even like gin. No, but certainly you like it with wet olives and seawater inside instead. And I immediately was like, it's supposed to be vodka. If I'm doing it. What about wine that's got to be fermented further to a sour in this in the fucking vermouth? That's what a vermouth is. I think Anya said something wrong and off. Haven't said a thing. I've been actually in my email. Yeah, you can see my computer shaking when I'm...

What I can also see is that you you've never pulled that privacy screen back for us to see the rest of your house. I'd love to know what the view is because from there I could Google Maps my way into knowing your address. Not a chance. Really? Also, nobody pointed out that I got a slap bracelet. That was like the bracelet for the party.

That's good marketing. Well, we all thought it was duct tape, right? Because it was rolled up when you showed it on the camera. It's just, it's not up to us to know that that's a slap bracelet. I'm emailing about Kyle Mooney right now. Can you believe the thing that I'm doing? What about Kyle? I don't know who that is. The first one.

Fond of the week, I'm going Steven song time aka Steven bond time because what can you do what? Sorry. So what can James do on a Saturday night? The only song that's for the real Steven heads. Isn't he dead? I think he's dead. real Steven heads. Isn't he dead? I think he's... Yeah. Gone. Right.

He passed on a few years ago, very sad. But that doesn't mean he can't be sawned. That's true. He will always be sawned. Yeah, exactly. He can't be bonked, but he could be sawned. Imagine listening to sawned at Saunder House. I was gonna say Saunder. Did you actually know? Are you looking at my outline?

No. Yeah, you're actually accidentally sharing the whole screen. That's a hotel, right? Yeah, it's not a... It's a chain of... It's a store. Oh. They... Saunder buys up hotels and then fires most of the employees, and then you communicate with them via text to book a room. And if you have an issue, no one's there to help.

I stayed in one in Philadelphia. Nice. All right, Bond of the Week? Didn't want to get into that, how it was. Fine, let's hear about your experience at Sonder. Like, was it... In fucking gas town or whatever neighborhood you were in. Yeah. It felt like kind of more of an Airbnb than a hotel because you go in there They just text you a code and you enter this room that like might as well be like part of a loft and it's not

Necessarily hotel vibes at all. Like you said every room you're in To others is an escape room as in they can't get the fuck out of Dodge fast enough to get away from your sour, dire, dour aura. You suck. You're poison to others in rooms. Sour-a. Yeah. Does he have sour-a?

That's cool. Bond of the Week. Or do you want to skip? You can pass. I just wanted to say Sonderhaus is like a cottage pass because you are Marty's duff. What's duff? Dumb ugly fat friend. Is that a thing?

Yes. I've never heard that either. There's a film that I think about all the time because it's really bad, but there's like one scene where something's supposed to, they're like basically implying that they want to make something viral and it's just two people going viral? Viral. And I always want to reference that, but it doesn't make any sense, so no one would know what I'm talking about.

But I think that's about it. And that's from a movie called Duff, which stands for Dumb Ugly Fat Friend. Correct. I believe so, yeah. Bond of the Week, or are you guys just gonna keep talking about this weird acronym? I already passed.

Okay. I'm gonna go with, um... Let's go with the host of a show that just joined the network today. Andrew from Podcast But Outside. Little plug. The podcast. Oh my god. And you're not worried that he's a little frail to be James?

You've gotta be frail to be Bond with right calve width. That was so crazy loud. It was, yeah. That was rough. And Anya, are you passing or do you have a bond? I was, I was gonna go Steven Seagal. You said Steven Seagal. Great, all right, moving on.

I had like a thing. Oh, let's hear it. Thought it could be like made for TV. Holy shit. Did you just say ethernet? Made for TV. Because the word of the day is Ethernet. It's okay, cool.

Cool, or did you really mean that? We, we like had such a nice time, and I thought when you weren't here on the show, and I thought, and everyone kind of commented on that, and I thought maybe it would be like a pivot, and you've come back so much meaner and more annoying. Also, you're like older and no wiser. Oh, yeah, you had a birthday recently.

Yeah, thanks. How old are you now? 27, so it's the perfect year to die. Older, none the wiser. None. None the Pfizer, because I didn't get the shot. Then I got the fucking real vibe. Yeah.

Guys, this is a new segment. So we've done Casey's dimes. We've done Joel's coins and now we're doing Marika's flaws. So basically, it's how many things do we take issue with of Brownlee? I have a laundry list. We can start with mine or we can just kind of ping pong around. This might be most of the hour. I'm kind of ping ponging around, but I do feel like this isn't the same segment as Casey's

Dimes or Joel's Coins. Well, it's a quantitative instead of qualitative segment, right? So Casey's Dimes, how many nickels does he have or whatever? Yeah, but it's the thing that he has to answer. And you're answering these for me. And this is, it could be as short as just how many flaws do you have. And we don't even have to get into what they are. I mean, I feel like it's somewhat obvious to the audience, but you know. I'm gonna go with...

17. I'm here. Right? 17. Twirl your mustache, he said. Well, I tried to wax the shit and it worked. Everybody asked, man. So one of the flaws of being rude. I think Marika's flaw is that she takes on too much work that then she has bandwidth for because she is always trying to be as helpful as possible.

I was going to say that. I was also going to say sort of... She's the Duff of this podcast. No, that's Amir. I don't know what they are, but I think it's more than 17. Why do you think that? All right, moving on to mate. So we've done dating in LA, right? This is mating in LA, right?

So Amir, I'd love to hear about what kind of sex you've been having or wanting. No. Is it procreative or mostly for pleasure? No. Amir, don't answer. Monogamous or sort of sister wives issue. That one. Really?

Because you want Ash to have a pal who you also kiss on the neck. Sorry, I said yes to the monogamous one. Not the sister pal one. Okay, I was just wondering. I was just wondering. That's really good. because yeah. I was just wondering.

That's really good. -♪ S-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A- Maybe at the Goldfish, because they have an artist-friendly ticket split. I would settle for Dynasty. It's just tough because there's nowhere to go around there. So people can't quite access the show and then have a good time afterwards. What's crazy is that... Don't be worried about that. Exactly. Like, you want them to go to the show. 80 steps ahead.

No one else has an issue with this. Don't worry about their post-show plans. I wondered if it's like after the show, the after party and then after the party is saunter I Mean instead of wondering what if it was saundery as a new network that we launched to compete with head gum almost Yeah, but like you can only communicate with us via text Jeff I'm not having any fun. What? What about the fucking meeting in LA?

Anya and I joined this podcast so that we could catch up because we hadn't talked in a few days. We were just on a meeting together. You could have talked in the chat. Yeah, Delicatessen Langers. That's actually a really good hack. Three meetings. Why don't we go to Delicatessen Langers? It's a it's the best deli in LA.

Got it. The LA Langers would be a better name, honestly. What about the Silver Lakers? For like a rec league team? Phil, do the luncheon. Yeah, a shirt. When LeBron signed with the Lakers, Zach Dunn had a series of funny tweets about, like, where LeBron signed with the Lakers, Zach Dunn had a series of funny tweets about where LeBron was going to hang out and it was all just hipster Silver Lake places.

Do you think LeBron's ever been to Silver Lake? No. In his life? Nope. What about Los Fuels? Uh, no. He must have driven through it to get to a Dodger game. Uh, no.

I think he takes the 405 to the 10 to the 110 north and he gets off in Chinatown. So if he's been to Chinatown, sure. Echo Park, maybe, but not Silverlake or Los Feliz. He probably takes those tunnels that are underground that are for celebrities only. That doesn't exist. Did you also just get fed that content recently? It's a fake conspiracy. They don't exist.

It goes around like every year or so. And I go, yeah, I believe it. It's more fun to believe it than to not, Jeff. I don't think so, because I've seen so many celebrities in their car. I saw Simon Cowell in his Carl tart. Well, I saw a video of Will Smith, like replying, you know, stitching the video in his car on the whatever you call it freeway. Probably. Yeah.

Guys, let's fucking move on, I guess. I think we should do this show at the Goldfish in Highland Park. Never heard of that. Because it has a 70-30 tickets split. It's actually been closed. It's closed for renovations until January. And if you were a real East Side guy, you'd know that. Well, I don't go out really.

Also, 70-30 is not that great. What would be better? Dynasty's more? There's no way. I don't know what dynasty is off the top of my head. I do, but I'm not telling. I'm not telling. Look, we gotta service the LA West Coast crowds. I mean, after the hit that was the New York show, and how much fun we all had.

We actually heard bad feedback. From who? No, the microphone was like picking up on the speakers. So that's a venue issue that would be fixed at the Goldfish Or Dynasty. I want to say Largo. You would want to say it. Let's live, laugh, larg. I think it'd be fun to do.

Yeah. Take a break, just get right back for sure. I think it'd be fun to do. Yeah. Take a break, just get right back for sure. Thank you to Aura Frames for sponsoring this podcast. Yes, thank you Aura Frames. Jake, you have one of these. Of course I do. I have several actually.

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What? Um, this is a segment I like to call Sex or Next. This is Air slash Chair Lifted straight from Nightcap, which is a podcast hosted by Unc and Ocho, AKA Chad Johnson and Shannon Sharp. And it's a segment that I'll just let Ocho introduce. Or should I say Ocho introduce? That little game is called Sex or Next.

We all grown? I know I play around a lot, but I'm saying we all grown, right? So in this next segment, I'm gonna need y'all to do me a favor. Remember that we all grown. Don't be shy. Up there.

Don't be shy up there Don't be shy I need your help because any ideas y'all might have I could take these home and use please thank you So ladies, okay, and I want to know what do you do to turn your man on? So if you have some sexily have some sexy ideas step up to the mic We have them down here and up top so it's double to the mic, we have them down here and up top. So step up to the mic and we're gonna grade those and we'll say sex or next. So ladies, come on down, line up at the mic. Any ideas? Single ideas.

So the segment's called Sex or Next. And what I need you guys to do is basically let me know what you do to turn your man on. Please your man. Yeah. Yeah, you'll tell us sex or next. Well, it's foreplay, right? So it's not... This is more about the lead up to.

Do you watch slash listen to that podcast? How did you know that that was a segment? I actually really do. You like Ung. They're so... Well, him and Ocho are so funny together, Cinco or otherwise. They talk about their sex lives in graphic detail in a way that's very funny to me.

Basically, Chad was asking Shannon if he ever experimented with anal play, and Shannon said no, and Chad was like, you gotta try this shit. Ocho Cinco also takes Viagra every time he has maybe. Viagra? Yeah. Jeff, what's happening?

You've never talked about sex this much. You've been sick and you come back to segments so far. I just saw them do that segment and I was like, well, that's a perfect HeadGum podcast segment. So are you guys gonna come down to the mic and share what you do to turn your man off? Of course not. What do you mean of course not?

Amir, you're the one who should lead the charge. You're the fucking leader of this network, dude. So that would mean I should especially not talk about this kind of stuff. All right, I'll just go. I'll just say some of mine and you guys say, sex or next. Are you ready? right, I'll just go, I'll just say some of mine and you guys say sex or next. Are you ready?

Yeah, I'm ready. All right. Owning or thinking about Brown Jordan furniture? Because this is foreplay. That's why I think it's a little bit more PG and ready for the podcast. Not stuff you do in bed, stuff you do to turn your man on before sex

throughout the day. So for me, it's owning or thinking about brown Jordan furniture. And that's something that you... Yeah. The logistics of this don't make sense to me. What do you mean? It's sex or next? You guys just rank sex or next.

Meaning would that turn your man on or you? Would it turn you on to think about Brown Jordan furniture? No, for your patio. Next course, not next. Next. Thank you, Murica. You're the only one who's following on. All right. So you guys know being be here now?

Yes. I have this would be being there then. So basically like not being present and like kind of astral projecting in a way, disassociating for sure. Tantric stuff. No, not even that. It's mostly just like thinking about other shit.

Sex and sex. Other people. Sex or next? Next. I'll go next. All right, what about Yannick steaming? What about Yannick sinner? That's really good. Is that your answer or is it sex or next?

What's your, what words are you saying? Yannick steaming is when you like squat over. Yeah. Oh, it's not Yannick. Yeah, it's not Yannick. Yannick I said. Isn't it Yoni? Well, Yoni is your cousin's name, right? Yeah. Or no, that's Goni.

Goni is my cousin's name. Seki is my uncle's name. So Goni steaming would be if Goni went to like a bath house, right? And got Yoni steamed, yeah. Sure. All right. Sax are next for Yoni steaming. Next. What about Sh up having a had?

Classic. A classic you. Would that sort of go to you? To the bedroom or something? Would your partner be turned on by that? Would they say sex or next if you had had? I assume it wouldn't matter, but maybe if there was food on my breath,

it wouldn't be nice. Okay, what about commanding a room? And I don't mean with your like presence, I mean with a gun. All right. This was supposed to be like Marika and I's fun reunion episode where we had fun. I don't know why you thought it was going to be that. Here we go. What about lavishly having lavash? The bread?

Yeah, so it would be like an endless basket. What about a lavage? Well, I was going to say, if you guys don't like lavishly having lavage, what about lavishly having had lavage? Which is what? It's like when you flush out an organ with IV. Would that turn your man on? Basically sex or next?

Next. All right, what about light choking in parentheses sexual? Sex or next? That one is probably the closest. Sex, yeah. The other ones have been bred. Okay, right, okay, right. And then what about light choking but non-sexual, like when a Chia gets stuck in your atoms?

Heimlich maneuvers sex or next, that's a good one. That's really good. Zapple. Zappos. All right, that was Sex or Next. Welcome to our next segment. Also taken from Monk. I have a volume turned down so low.

This is Grateful or Aful. This is such a peaceful show right now. Right, this was a segment I was gonna do last week if I hadn't felt so brain fogged and fatigued. All right, this is a series of your guys' favorite celebs. And you're gonna- Can I ask you two questions? Yep. One, do you feel any ill effects from the COVID still?

And two, what did you think of the episode without you? Ooh. I thought the episode without me was good as a placeholder. I think it wasn't as good as the episode that Marika hosted when I had no Wi-Fi, sorry, Wi-Fi in Kentucky when I was kind of being a movie star. Did that movie ever come out? It got shelved in large part thanks to my performance, I believe. No, I don't know what's happening.

I saw a trailer. Saw a trailer, right? No, you didn't. No, oh, that was a short film I did. Anyway, shout out Andy who wrote that show. Fuck, Grace cut this out. Guys, this is Grateful or Hateful, right? This was supposed to be last week's episode

because it was right after Thanksgiving. This is gonna be, I'm gonna show you guys some of your favorite celebs, and you're gonna tell me if they have more of each in their heart. Gratitude or hate. All right, here we go. Number one. This is Alexander Graham Bell. Hate, hate, hate, because he yeah. Gratitude because he was famous for inventing the phone.

But wasn't there a whole thing where like he didn't? I don't know. I'm pretty sure he stole it from like a pupil or something like that. Doesn't matter. I would say hateful. I would say hateful. I would say hateful. Here we go. Next. Yeah.

Billie Jean King. Yeah, in a way. Do you think she has more gratitude or hate in her heart? Hateful or grateful? One of tennis's greats, probably gratitude. Well, just because she's a great doesn't mean she's grateful, right? You have to kind of, yeah, you're not really getting the game.

It's just- His answer was grateful. Why can't that be his answer? Because it's not based on like phonetic similarities to their legend. He just said a sentence and he's playing your game. I think it's more about their aura, right? I mean, you look into their eyes

and you'll know if it's thankfulness or prejudice, really. This guy is a man of hate. It's a black and white photo. And then for Billie Jean, I think it's grateful. You're kind of reading the witness. I think she's a witness in this photo. Well, we can all... I'm open to being proven wrong or argued against. That's sort of the game and the fun of it all.

I want to know what you guys think and we can kind of come to a consensus. Right. I think Billy Jean said what he thinks. And I think it's great. But not because it rhymes almost with great. Hmm. Yeah. Get that. Grateful. Marika. Grateful. All right. Yeah, we all are in agreement that she's grateful.

I think she had a nice. Dermot Mulroney. Oh, hot. Dermot. All right. Yeah, we all are in agreement that she's grateful. I think she had a nice. Dermot Mulroney. Hot Dermot. All right. The game is a great. It's grateful or hateful. I thought it was like sex or next sex. No, that was a different. Yeah. Is this picture from 2007? It's definitely old.

I think older than that. I think grateful. I mean, look at the shine in the it. Yeah, we all agree. Yeah Dr. Shirley Jackson Grateful or hateful in terms of Gratitude or She looks grateful there. I think she's grateful. Do you guys even know who this is open-spirit? Of course Fucking facts I think she's grateful. Do you guys even know who this is? She's got an open spirit. Of course. She invented the fucking facts.

They really should have changed her name to Shirley Faxon. Meaning? Meaning grateful as hell. For Shirley. Mal Evans. I don't know what that is. And the Mal Evans make me want to fucking scream. I thought that was Eric Warheim.

Me too. Well, it was actually the Beatles roadie. I think grateful as hell because he was just happy to be along for the. He's yeah, he's like seething with jealousy. He's just looking up and going that should be me up there, but I'm only good enough to be the roadie. No, he's rosy cheeked and happy to get John a fucking sandwich. You can't say no, you're asking our opinion. Holy shit, I've never been spoken to

before in my fucking life. Um, I'm going to say grateful, but you guys disagree as hateful. That's interesting. Here we go. Melvin Laird. Who? Can we get like a description or? Oh, he was the former US Secretary of Defense under Nixon. Hateful.

Hateful. 100% hateful. He doesn't even have pupils. This whole thing is irises. This looks AI generated by the way. Nobby Fry? Oh, grateful. She's great.

I think she's grateful for any opportunity she has to hang out with John Mayer at his Benedict Canyon Mons. What are you talking about? Fry hangs out with John Mayer at his Benedict Canyon Mons. She's always there. What are you talking about? Fry hangs out with Mayer a lot. Anytime she comes to LA, she ends up at his Benedict Canyon Mons. And I think she's grateful for that. It's crazy when you kind of talk about people

that aren't real, like aren't like really celebrities. And so like now we're just talking about this person who's just like a writer. I think she would come on the show. Do you know her? Do you know her? For years. She followed me on Instagram, or no, she followed me on Twitter,

but I deleted my Twitter. Here we go. Yeah. Randy Fund. Oh, Lakers ex-coach. Well, Heat XGM, but yeah. Yeah, so he coached the Lakers in the early 90s in between Mike Dunleavy and I want to say Del Harris.

So I think he was grateful to have the opportunity to, it was Phil Jackson. Sort of. Yeah. Part his wisdom. Yeah. Grateful or hateful. George Lynch, Anthony Peeler, Sajik Sabalo, Seidel Threet, but a young Eldon Campbell. But don't you think he has kind of...

He kind of has Soura? Like I think when you look... Souraura, yeah. He does seem hateful to me. He kind of think... Yeah. I'm gonna go hateful for this. I agree. Here we go. William Henry Harrison

took the office of the presidency, got a cold and died. He had to be hateful. Our ninth president died after one month. Yeah. But look at that hair. It kind of looks like Mulroney. Yeah, but the ears and chin kind of take it away and away.

I would say I think grateful because he kind of has the energy of I'm just grateful to be here. But he's not. He wasn't there for very long. That sword is in his abdomen. Oh, it went away. It's very, I think the reason the show's so stressful is because it feels like Jeff is wanting something from us

and then we keep not delivering. And then every segment just finishes with him looking kind of upset. Y'all, that was two amazing, those were two amazing segments and that was all I had. So I guess it's another wax for the last couple minutes here. Couple of 20. Not 20, I would say 12. I mean, soon to be 11. Guys, let's hit him with a fucking Marika's Druthers!

This is Marika's Druthers. If you've never heard the show before, this is five minutes on the board and Marika can kind of talk about whatever she wants. Here we go. Five's a lot. Uh, the ticking is going to ruin me. I mean, what I what I'm dealing with right now is crazy, and I can't really get into it because I want to

speak ill of people that we work with, but been trying to do something on Spotify for weeks and it's not letting me and it's really making me mad. And I don't want to contact their support because that's just wait, it's going to take longer than it needs to. And that's just, you know, that's just the life in this podcast game where I'm trying to do something with an RSS feed on Spotify and they're like, no, you simply cannot. And it's just the thing that I'm going to have to deal with. And actually, while we're on the topic of Spotify, I just want to say that my Spotify

wrapped, it was a bold face lie. It was incorrect. I have the receipts. I know what I did. I check my own stats on a different app. I know what songs I listen to and for how long I listen to them. And Spotify lied to me and I don't appreciate that. And were they embarrassing?

Absolutely. Do I listen to mostly the Outsiders musical and then the song Sushi Glory Hole by The Lonely Island in my top five? 100%. But it's fine and I was prepared to live with that and I didn't need them twisting the statistics around for their benefit. What is this now? Sorry, we're not allowed to talk but it's like inspirational music for your rant. Sorry, we're not allowed to talk, but it's like inspirational music for your rant. Oh, wow. Is it gonna be like royalty free, I hope? Yep.

Or that's amazing and I love that. Three minutes left. Why don't you inspire the people? Yeah, just try to inspire people. What else am I mad about, I guess. It's mostly just that today, I think. I also, I don't know. I'm mad at every- Do the sports affirmations I was telling you about.

The sports affirmations? Yeah, I told you that was on my friend's Spotify rap top album. It's actually Marika's Druthers. I was trying to be helpful. Yeah, maybe. I... It's fine. I'll get over that eventually and I'll post the real stats. Also, actually another to call out another company that we work with that I'm at right now.

I should be fourth place on the Vulture Podcast Division Movie Fantasy League, and I'm not. And I would be right behind Matt Apodaca. I'd be in great company. And we didn't contact them early enough to get on the list, I guess. Which list was this? This is the Vulture Movie League podcast division, where they have a bunch of podcasters compete on the side. And it's mostly men and like 10 women max.

And it's fine. But I would like the clout and I'd like the fame and I'd like the praise for the movies that I chose for 90 seconds left so much easy I don't know what else is happening. I don't really do much. Oh, if you actually... My final complaint is going to be towards Jeff for continuing to play that sound no matter how much we ask him to remove it from the soundboard. It's uncomfortable to hear. It's bad on the ears. It's bad for morale.

Which sound? And the face that Jeff is making right now is so crazy. He looks like the scream. It's, yeah, I never want to hear Pile making that gasping laugh noise again. And there it is one more time. It's the worst thing I've ever heard. Um, I can't believe this is devolved into Jeff making faces. It's a podcast for a baby. That's good. And that's another thing. Don't show me photos of babies.

I don't want to see them. Is that my time? I mean, eight seconds. Oh yeah. So that's all I got. What's that? That was a pretty solid, pretty classic Marika's Druthers. That kind of took us back to like 2020 when you used to do the shit.

I don't think it did. Okay. I don't know. I feel good about it, but thank you. Yeah, but sometimes like how you feel about a performance doesn't mean that the performance was bad. It just means that you, you know, left it in a certain type of way. Those two in my head.

In a way, yeah. Guys, we made it through another, I want to say painstaking episode. Plugs, what do you guys have going on? What do you want to point the people towards? Let's start with Amir. I am taking my one man show on the road. I'll be in Denver, Kansas City, and Omaha this spring into summer.

What's your show? I'm doing like this puppetry of the penis style show. Meaning? Sort of like half shadow puppetry, half stand-up comedy, kind of like a hybrid musical theater. But the puppets are just your dick. You didn't see the... I was asking. Well, I'm asking Jeff, you didn't go to the performance that he did for Friends, like

the workshop performance. It was like a Friends and Family screening. Yeah. Why wasn't I invited? Was it during COVID or you just didn't think I was ready to see? It was during your COVID. Yeah. Okay. It was like a friends and family screening. Yeah. Why wasn't I invited? Was it during COVID or you just didn't think I was ready to see? It was during your COVID. Yeah. Okay.

It was a zoo. So you showed your penis and balls to your friends and family and it made shadows on the wall or something? Or something. And you left that event thinking it was good to go to Omaha with it. I got notes and I was able to adapt grow and it was the most helpful Yeah, who's looking the tour your booking agent and your own APA Yeah, there's no way APA is on board for this. Well, you know anything for 10%

Our ticket sales haven't gone on sale yet How are ticket sales? Haven't gone on sale yet. What was the best note you got was the most helpful thing and how did that change the show? There was like a joke in there that didn't really make sense with regards to where my sorry, the note was like a writing note. It was a punch up. Yeah.

For like this one liner. What was yeah, that's insane. Who gave you the note? Who else was there? So Anya and Marika were there. A buddy of mine, yeah. Avi Tull's brother. Avi Tull's brother. It was just the three of us.

It's a terrible name. Avi Tull's brother, Anya and Marika. I know it was like this. Three's a crowd? That three specifically is a bad crowd. Three's a crowd. Not the right one to be hanging out with. That's cool.

That's cool. What's the big finale? The diversity of voices. Fallon. Fallon. Fallon. Fallon. Fallon. Fallon. Fallon. Three specifically is a bad crowd. Three's a crowd. Not the right one to be hanging out with. That's cool, that's cool.

What's the big finale of this? Fallac puppet show of yours. I wouldn't dare give it away on this podcast, but just know it's kind of an interesting, holding up a mirror to society style retrospectus in which everybody's left kind of laughing and crying at the same time, hopefully, with regards to the puppetry of the penis.

And if you follow me on Insta, I'm at Amir or- Instagram? What? If they follow you on Instagram, what is that? It like lets you read. Follow him on Instacart. Follow me on Instacart and Instapaper. Instapaper lets you like read news articles that are behind paywalls.

I didn't even know you could follow people on Instacart, but you're saying they want you want them to be able to see when you're getting groceries delivered, but also that's where you'll announce. That's actually another thing he's doing. Yeah. He's working for Instacart. Yeah. I'm also groceries. I've been trolling the comment section

of kind of polymarket bets. So try to find me on there. Marika. I'm also this. Yeah, nevermind. I'll try not to get Marika's plug. I'm also having, I'm taking my one woman show on the road, not to the same places. I'm thinking of doing a tour of Maine.

So like banger. I'm doing a residency in banger. Vagina monologues is kind of the opposite. Writing workshop. It's the opposite, but also really similar. Yeah. It's a plagiarized title. And then it is just kind of a weird puppet show.

And when I say it holds up a mirror to society and also your glands. Yeah. Yeah. When when I say I'm taking my one woman show on the road, that's just a way of saying that I'm going on a road trip to Maine. Nice. Making the stops. No, I wish I love going on a road trip to Maine. Nice. Making multiple stops. No, I wish. I love going to Maine. I'd love to go to old orchard beach, splash down, fun town.

Shout out if you've been best place. It's a amusement park. Kind of small. Good memories when there are a lot as a child. Nice. Um, Anya? You didn't go to Canobie Lake? Canobie Lake.

I actually have never been to Canobie Lake Park. What about water country? Well, I haven't been to water country. The plugs can't be like... I've been to Six Flags, New England. Anya, what do you have going on? I have as well. Have some plugs.

No touring dates for me for the foreseeable future. Radio free Anya on Instagram. Anya kind of Sky on Venmo. Let's see what we can build together. That's awesome. free Anya on Instagram, Anya kind of Skyon, Ben Mo. Let's see what we can build together. That's awesome. Oh, podcast but outside on YouTube launched today. It's going to be great.

At Jeffrey James on Instagram. Okay, every week I'm at. We should have Andrew on. Yeah, that episode title would be called Podcast but Inside. They already done that. I think we're at the bottom of the barrel. Yeah. Flat out of shit.

I have a funny story to tell you guys about something related to this, but I think I should do it after we stop recording. That's good. I wouldn't want anything good on the podcast. But one day we'll have a paywalled version of this show and that's where this story will live. That'd be great. It's about someone at a different network calling me the R-word in an email. What?

And not the R- word you think of.