The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Brendan Schaub - Too Soon
Episode Date: March 1, 2021My HoneyDew this week is Brendan Schaub! Brendan shares Lowlights about his cup of espresso in the NFL, his time in the UFC & his Showtime standup special. Brendan is open and honest about how easily ...and quickly things came to him and how that’s not always a good thing. SUBSCRIBE to my YouTube and watch full episodes of The HoneyDew every toozdee! https://www.youtube.com/rsickler SUBSCRIBE to my Patreon show, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I highlight the lowlights with y’all! What’s your story? https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew SPONSORS: LIQUID IV Grab your Strawberry LIQUID I.V. or their other great flavors in bulk nationwide at Costco or you can get 25% off when you go to LIQUIDIV.COM and use code honey do a check out. That’s 25% off ANYTHING you order when you use promo code HONEYDEW at LIQUIDIV.COM. RAYCON Raycon’s offering 15% off all their products for my listeners and here’s what you’ve gotta do to get it: Go to BUYRAYCON.COM/HONEYDEW. That’s it. You’ll get 15% off your entire Raycon order so feel free to grab a pair AND a spare. STITCH FIX Get started today at STITCHFIX.COM/HONEYDEW and you’ll get 25% off when you keep everything in your Fix! That’s STITCHFIX.COM/HONEYDEW for 25% off when you keep everything in your Fix.
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The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler.
Welcome back to the Honeydew, y'all.
We're over here doing it in the Nightpan Studios. I'm Ryan Sickler.
Ryan Sickler on all social media, ryansickler.com.
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The community is growing.
We've heard, I mean, I don't know if you all are out there watching,
but we just had a story about a guy getting someone else's face
blown off onto his face.
This shit is crazy.
You all have not let me down.
It's getting crazier and crazier.
Absolutely love it.
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All right?
That's the biz.
That's all right.
And I appreciate you trying to hold it back.
It's that COVID.
It's the COVID lungs, Doug.
Well, what we do here is we highlight the lowlights.
As I always say, these are the stories behind the storytellers.
And I do want to say this.
Thank you for all the messages, all the DMs,
everything you guys send about how this is changing your lives,
how you've started going to therapy, all that stuff.
But this guest here today, first time here on the Honeydew,
very excited to have him here.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Brendan Schaub, y'all.
Brendan Schaub on the Honeydew.
Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.
Thank you for being here.
I just squealed like I was 17, bro.
I got excited.
Hell, yeah.
Thank you.
You look good in pink, by the way.
Oh, thanks, dude.
I think about wearing it all.
I got a tie that's pink.
Yeah, you got to be comfortable in your own skin to rock pink, man.
Before we get into what we're going to talk about today, please plug everything.
When's this drop?
Just like two weeks.
No, about seven weeks.
Do you know where you're at?
Seven weeks?
I don't know where I'm going to be next week.
What do you got going on?
Yeah.
I literally don't know where I'm going to be next week. What do you got going on? Yeah. I literally don't know.
Just fighting the kids, King of the Sting, and then Below the Belt podcast.
And I'm on the road.
I'm all over.
You're doing your Showtime show, too.
Showtime, Food Truck Diaries.
I love that show.
I saw Jesus on it.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it was a good one.
Yeah, things are good, man.
Busy, which is good.
It is good.
There's also nothing worse when you ask someone, hey, how's it going?
Busy. How are you? How are you? busy you know is there a worse answer busy busy okay you just want to
make sure everybody knows you're working i just i've always been a good guy i'm always i'm good
even when shit is horrible oh even when it's horrible i'm good also when it's good i'm good
if i'm doing if things are real, you're hanging in there, man.
You switch those years too?
Hanging in there, man. If shit's good, it's good.
If not, you're just hanging in there.
It's either busy or I'm hanging in there, man.
And 2020 was hanging in there, man.
Hanging in there, man.
How are you doing with everything?
Hanging in there.
All right.
So there's a few things I want to talk to you about.
We talked a little bit about football, MMA.
But first, let's talk about where you're from.
You grew up in Denver.
Denver, born and raised.
And was your dad an athlete?
Was your mom an athlete?
Like what got you into – where do you get your genes from?
Yeah, probably my dad's.
Like my dad's like 6'3", 220, like in better shape than I am, like shredded.
For real, right now?
Yeah, right now. How old? Right now? Right now.
How old is he?
65.
Damn.
Beast.
He stays in shape, huh?
Stays in shape, works out every day.
Was he an athlete back in the day?
Yeah, he played football, and then he was in the Navy.
I come from a military family.
My thing, yeah, it's kind of a weird story because where I grew up, really, I'm from
Aurora, Colorado.
And Aurora, Colorado now is a little different, but when I grew up, it's kind of a weird story because where I grew up, really I'm from Aurora, Colorado. And Aurora, Colorado now is a little different.
But when I grew up, it was like – it was definitely like a more urban area.
Like all my friends were black.
I grew up around black people and my best friends were black.
So the best way to kind of fit in and like make a name for yourself or get girls was to be good at sports.
So I was gifted with athletic genes, but I never had like that athletic mentality.
You know, I don't have that Kobe mentality, that many pack of mentality. It was just like,
all right, well, I guess I'm gifted in this. I'll do this. But you know, I, my heroes were like
Adam Sandler, Jim Carrey, but there was no avenue for that. And I, you know, for where I got in life
in sports, I was really good at sports. So I was like, all right, I guess you're good at this.
This is what you do, man.
And when did you realize?
Very young.
High school?
Oh, way before that.
Way before that.
That you were better than everybody.
Way before that.
Like what's your earliest memory of just dusting everybody?
Was it football?
Was it –
Probably at Virginia Court Elementary.
I was in third grade.
And I was just like, oh, I'm going to make money doing this.
It's like, oh, I'm way better than everybody.
Yeah, but it wasn't a cocky thing.
I remember my coach, again, because I never –
like it wasn't a passion.
I was just good at it.
I was getting like a lot of positive comments all the time.
So that's good.
I would release those endorphins and I knew I could, you know,
make a name for myself in sports. But yeah, I was,
I was in third grade and I didn't want to play anymore,
but my dad bought all the equipment and it was like halfway through the season.
I was like, I don't want to play that.
I want to go hang out with my friends and like do this stuff.
And he's like, all right, well, if you quit, you're just not going to quit.
You got to go talk to the team and tell them.
So he marched me up there, got me in front of third grade third grade marched me in front of everyone
and the coaches russ brown shout out to russ brown still talk to him to this do you really yeah yeah
so he comes to all my shows does he his son dakota started fighting yeah it's great so uh you know he
gathered the team and my dad's like go tell them all the shit you're telling me go tell tell the
team look them in their eyes tell them you're giving up on all everybody i just started crying
and then the coach rushed browns crying through the best kids yeah my coaching me as i was like
yeah yeah the head coach took me to the side of the k-man you're really important to the team like
you're the team captain you're the quarterback yeah you're the running back you're the safety
he's like you're a kick return you're our's like, you're our entire playbook. You're our entire playbook.
If you leave, I'm going to lose my job.
Yeah, that's it.
So, yeah, he's just like, you're really important to the team.
It'd be really disappointing if you left, so I stuck with it.
But that was like a learning time.
But I knew I was gifted in athletics at a young age.
I mean, what did that do for you moving forward?
Did it instill in you that team and you don't quit?
Yes. Yeah, it really did. Do that team and you don't quit? Yes.
Yeah, it really did. Do you flash back on that?
Oh, yeah.
You do? Even now, do you?
Oh, yeah.
When do you think about that?
I think about, you know, because I have two young sons now, and I think about just some of the stuff
my dad did. I'm like, God, what a beast, man. Like, he never let us get away with anything.
Work ethic was everything. He worked his ass off. So, you you know at a young age i was like oh this is how
this is how you act so just that my work ethic which comics or you know other athletes talk
about this work ethic that that's my dad man that's good isn't it interesting too when you
sit and listen to somebody like i've been they say busy like you say like oh yeah and then they
tell you what they've been up to and you're like – Like, Bubba, that's my Monday. Yeah.
That's when I started learning out here the difference between what people think hard work is.
Even in life, not just out here.
What am I saying? Oh, you think that's hard work?
I know.
But especially if you're around comics.
Like I think where I got my success in comedy is just the difference of work ethic compared to a lot of guys.
Like the work ethic in comedy really separates the pack. Is funnier guys i mean oh hands down easy but as far
as work ethic it'd be tough to find someone who not works me that's right i take pride in that
what um okay so when so that's football and that's football but also you know again so i go from pop
water i was a star there and And I get into high school.
I was getting high school.
Were you All-State or anything like that in high school?
Yeah, I was.
So this is where it gets dicey.
Yeah, I was All-Conference.
But I played lacrosse, too, and I was All-State.
Wow.
You were playing in Colorado?
Yep, All-State, captain of the team.
But my senior year, our first
game of the season, you know, that's back then too, that's when you're getting recruited. And I,
you know, I was wanting to go play at some pretty big schools and we played at Disney, Disney world.
We flew down there to play this other team, Cypress Creek, I think this big team and their star
cornerback had a full ride to Florida state. And I was getting recruited by like Texas A&M, Cal, all these schools.
And so the first play we knew going into the game, my coach,
Tony Manfredi was like, Hey, we're going to, we're going to first play.
We're going to hit him in the mouth.
We're going to throw you a deep ball and just let them know what's up.
I'm like, hell yeah.
Watch this Florida state.
Check this out.
They throw the ball.
This Florida state savage intercepts the ball with one arm.
He, like, not today, white boy.
Takes off down the field.
I'm like, what the fuck?
Is that Deion Sanders?
He takes off with the ball.
First play of the game.
I'm chasing him down.
I'm like, all right, he got the interception, but I'm going to strip him, get the ball back, and that would be on film.
I'm thinking in my head, I'm like, this is going to look dope.
And I fly up to him.
I go to strip the ball, and he jukes the biggest guy on our team, Gary Moore, who is 6'8", 375 pounds.
And Gary, you know, he gets juked.
He doesn't always do it.
And Gary gets juked and just, like like dies and runs full speed into my ribs,
shatters my ribs.
For real?
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
Shatters my ribs.
My ribs run into my liver, and I have a lacerated liver.
So I missed the entire season.
Holy shit.
Played one play.
One play.
One play.
So that was like a wake-up call.
Fuck.
And then they didn't know if I was going to be able to play.
Yeah.
I mean, what do they have to do to repair you from that there's nothing you do like lacerated
liver you know i was in the hospital i know ribs there's nothing but you can't do anything
they don't have to cut you open now because it wasn't it wasn't deep enough so it was just like
a you know surface lacerated liver so i couldn't fly back so i was freaking stuck in disney world
for like four weeks and then the doctor would come in like he's never
gonna play again i'm like now i think back i'm like what a dick dude like yeah i'm 15 man like
i don't need this news i say it all the time you know what they call a guy to finish last in med
school doctor yeah you're right so he was like he's never gonna play again so i'm crying stuff
like that so then my my route was just different.
I was no longer this big recruit.
I lost all interest in scouting.
So then I went to a small school at Whittier in California where I could play lacrosse and football.
Played a year there.
I was freshman of the year in both sports and then transferred to the University of Colorado.
So I found my way back.
I had to walk on to the team at the University of Colorado.
Oh, you were a walk-on there?
I was a walk-on for a year and a half and then got my scholarship.
Damn.
All right.
And what position did you play when you walked on?
I was tight end and then went very cool.
We have a tight end here who eventually became my best friend,
and we played Pop Warner together.
We have a tight end here who's going to be a first-round draft pick.
His name is Joe Kloffenstein.
So you're going to play fullback.
I was like, oh, that makes sense.
Yeah, I'll do that.
So I was a fullback just getting CT left and right. And, uh, it was a good experience though, you know? And how, how do you start getting looks from the NFL? When's the
first time you hear that? Well, let me go, let me go back for a second. Do you think at the time
you say you don't have the mama mentality or whatever, but do you think at the time in college, hey, I could play in the NFL?
Yeah, because I was around when I was a sophomore or even when I was a redshirt freshman.
I was around guys who were getting drafted, and I could see how I compared to them.
I was like, oh, yeah, I might be better than this guy.
I got drafted in the third round.
I might be better than this guy in the fourth round.
So I knew that I could get to that level.
And when do you
start getting interests when you start hearing anything my senior year there's some rumblings
but then it was it was it was tough man because my experience in college was was really tough
because since i was like an h back fullback i was in the running back room and I was the only white guy. My coach was black.
And it was weird because it was like almost reverse racism in there.
Because if let's say we're playing Nebraska or we're playing another team
and they had a white running back,
they spent a half an hour making fun of that team for having a white
running back.
And my coach was like,
everybody knows white boys can't play like black players.
And he'd be like,
I've never played a white guy i'm like he's sitting right there and so i you know i was really good
and everyone's like dude why aren't you playing anymore i was like he said i was fucking fair
con over there's not gonna you know what i'm saying like he's not gonna let me play man so
our offense coordinator shout out to uh sean watson he you know we had a
the the big scrimmage where they decide you know where you're gonna be on the depth chart
and the starter was out with like a rolled ankle or something so i played the whole game
and i scored the highest out of the game and the i was in the weight room the next day working out
then our offense coordinator watson came up and was just like you're you're my favorite guy on
the team.
You do everything we ask.
Is he white or black?
He's white.
He's like, yeah, of course.
He's like, you do everything we ask.
And he's like, if things were different, you'd be a starter.
He's like, but they're not.
And you know it doesn't work like that.
He told me.
I'm like, yeah, I know.
And that's like the first, I was like, oh, this is a business.
And, you know, because I was a walk-on.
And the way, for your viewers that don't know how the way sports work,
especially Division I, so coaches recruit all season.
They have their guys that they give full rides to,
and those are their guys, and they give them every opportunity.
As a walk-on, you come out of nowhere, you bust your ass,
but you're no one's guy.
So you have to be undeniable, like just a freak talent to get playing time.
That's one thing I love about the Ravens.
It's been like 13 seasons in a row they've taken an undrafted guy.
Yeah, like the token white slot receiver.
There's usually a guy that comes in.
But, no, they usually do well.
Like there are guys that don't get drafted, and then they come to the Ravens,
and we breed linebackers.
For sure.
Like the way the Broncos used to have running backs yep and these guys come in and then usually they leave the
Ravens and they don't excel because we use them the way they probably should be played but yeah
it's a shame I you know that that's when you know your eyes open up to like oh this is a business
right and then you know because I was so dialed in with football you know when I was a kid I knew I
had the skills make the NFL so NFL was my Willy Wonka's chocolate factory I was so dialed in with football when I was a kid, I knew I had the skills to make the NFL.
So NFL was my Willy Wonka's chocolate factory.
I was like, if I can just get an opportunity, I'm going to flourish.
So I thought maybe I'd get drafted late.
Don't get drafted.
Go to my buddy, Joe Klopfenstein, his draft party.
He gets drafted.
They're all celebrating.
I'm crying.
Yeah, dude.
Crying.
I was like, oh, man.
These are two giant.
And I'm texting with my agent, Tom Mills.
Shout out to Tom Mills.
I haven't said that name in forever.
I'm texting him like, hey, man, any news?
I'm hoping I could at least let my family and my friends know who are here at this other kid's draft party.
I have something going on.
You're consoling me.
And so he's like, oh, Buffalo's interested. I'm like, okay, probably the last place I want to go, but let's draft party. I have something going on. You're fooling me. And so he's like, oh, Buffalo's interested.
I'm like, okay, probably the last place I want to go, but let's do it.
So I come out.
I'm like, looks like I'm heading to Buffalo, everybody.
But I knew the business where white guy, undrafted free agent,
like it's a long shot.
And the day I'm leaving that morning, I told my dad, I'm like, dad,
the chance of me making this team is not good, man.
So don't get your hopes up.
Like, you know, and he's all excited.
He's like, yeah, I'm not going to, man.
Don't worry.
So I get out to Buffalo.
That's got to be a pretty cool thing for your dad, though.
My son's.
I don't know.
Yeah, I don't know.
He's never really talked about it.
I don't know.
He never missed a game ever.
Went to college, Pop Warner.
College, you know, we played all at the time, Big 12.
So all over Texas, Oklahoma, played in bowl games against Clemson, played at Miami.
He's a computer data guy. As a dad now, doesn't it amaze you that he made every one of those fucking games?
Every single game.
Every game on the road.
So did my brother.
Everything.
They never missed anything.
How the fuck he did that?
Me neither.
Amazing. It's crazy. So I told him, like, don't get your hopes brother, everything. They never missed anything. How the fuck he did that? Me neither. Amazing.
It's crazy.
So I told him, like, don't get your hopes up, Dad.
Like, this is a long shot.
I'm Vince Papali in this motherfucker.
Like, you know, like, it's going to be a beast for me to make it.
He's like, yeah, no doubt.
So I fly out there.
And I think that.
Now, how'd they hear about you?
What was, who was.
I did pro day.
So I did.
That's like the combine at your college.
And I did really well. And they had a scout out there. They had a scout there, yeah. So that guy was like combine at your college. And I did really well.
And they had a scout out there.
They had a scout there, yeah.
So I was like, all right, let's give this kid a chance.
So I go out there.
They had me run a 40.
They had me do all this stuff.
And I'm in training camp.
And I knew I was in trouble because I didn't get any reps.
I got one rep.
The quarterback threw the ball way over my head.
And I was like, well, that's not good.
My one rep this fucking – like way to go, dude, with a one time and and then i saw another player with my jersey and he was number 43 i'm like well there's
yeah there's not two for like it's not college like there's only one jersey of 43 and he was
like a first round draft pick from like miami i was like oh this isn't good so i was there maybe
three days hurt my uh hamstring, got cut, flew back home.
From Buffalo.
This is Buffalo.
From Buffalo.
Fly all the way from fucking Buffalo Orchard Park back to Denver, Colorado.
And I'm like so upset because you get to – you realize how hot dogs are made.
And it's so hard.
It's such a business.
It's such a savage business.
It just breaks your heart because as a kid, you don't think about those things so i get back to denver and outside my
outside my dad's house he has a buffalo bills flag
you ain't gonna believe this i got jim kelly coming in 15 minutes like
hopefully you're a steve tasker fan because I don't play for the Buffalo Bills, man.
You hadn't told him or anything?
No, just showed up.
And he was like.
He was so proud.
Oh, dude, he was so brokenhearted.
Had a Buffalo Bills coffee mug and shit.
What are you doing here?
Four days later, what are you doing here?
What am I doing here? I'm not playing football are you doing here? What am I doing here?
I'm not playing football, am I?
I'm not playing for this team right here.
Yeah, I'm not on the Buffalo Bills, Dad.
So then I go through, like, I rehab my hamstring.
I'm like, I got to move on.
I got to move on.
And then the Utah Blaze Arena League team called me, like, we'd love to have you, man.
I'm like, okay.
That's something else.
I actually went and watched the the la team and i'm look i'm a ravens fan so i am a fan of defense there's no it was this
motherfucker sprinting from 20 yards back they get to the line of scrimmage they snap and it's
just bombs i swear to god it was like 75 to 68 or some shit like that even even that was
heartbreaking because uh like i'm trying to get
on team i'm living with my brother at the time i'm hustling i'm selling supplements i'm like
trying to find make ends meet and this is where again denver denver and so i moved in with my
brother i didn't have any money and um you know i i went out saw utah blaze i tried out for them
and then uh you know we're i'm waiting for a call to see if I made the team. You come back home, your dad's got
a Blaze. Like, where'd you even find that?
Made that team, though.
Made that team. So I make that team.
I call my brother. He's the first person I call. I go, hey,
your little brother's a professional athlete.
And he's like, oh, that's cool. And I call my
dad and he's like, oh, that's so cool.
So they drive with me out to Salt Lake City
to drop me off at the hotel where
we're all staying.
And I meet with the coach and he's like, yeah, so what?
He goes, it's just heartbreaking, dude.
He goes, so what we're thinking is do you think you can get to 300 pounds?
How much were you?
I'm sorry, what?
I was like 250.
Holy shit.
Do you think you can get to 300 pounds?
Like probably not.
He's like, we'd really appreciate if you get to 300.
I'm like, this isn't for me, man.
So I didn't say anything at the time. I'm like have nothing else to do so i go through camp listen it would
i don't care if you're under the the guidance of a professional it would take considerable amount
of time to gain 50 fucking pounds i don't know what they were thinking i don't know 50 even if
you just ate mcdonald's all day long it would take you a minute to get to 50.
Yeah, they wanted me to get to 300.
So I was like, I definitely don't want to do this.
So I go through camp with them.
Halfway through camp, I'm like, I'm talking to a guy.
He's like, yeah, I also work at UPS.
And I'm like, oh, you what?
He's like, yeah, I work at UPS.
I'm like, full time?
Shout out to UPS.
Yeah, I'm like.
We're on Primary 1 Joe Avenue.
Dude.
And the guy's like, yeah, I work at REMAX.
I'm like, you're the starting quarterback?
You work at REMAX?
He's like, yeah.
I'm like, wait, how much are we making?
You know, it's like, oh, I guess we're professionals.
Oh, God, damn.
Yeah, I was like, this isn't for me.
The starting quarterback's working at REMAX.
Working at REMAX.
I got in my car and drove home
i was like i quit your dad's like take the flag back yeah all right get the flag done
so yeah i stopped doing that and then uh yeah i was just heartbreaking man you never tried
canadian or any of that no i was like oh no if i can't play if i can't play in the nfl i don't
want to do this and it's was just heartbreaking, man, super heartbreaking, heart-heartbreaking.
So then I go back home living with my brother, again,
selling supplements door-to-door.
And I always had a knack for like jiu-jitsu.
I love jiu-jitsu.
All right, so let's hold on there and dial back for a second.
That's what I wanted to ask you.
During football and all this, are you taking jiu-jitsu also?
Yeah, I took jiu-jitsu in the off-seasons in Boulder.
At what age did you start that?
Like high school or early?
No, college.
Oh, that late?
Yeah, I didn't start to college.
Okay.
And even then, it was like my senior year, I'd take some classes.
Again, because my best friend Joe Kloffenstein was into pride, mixed martial arts, fighting,
stuff like that.
So you discovered that late late
yeah and again i was really good at it and then uh again really good's all perspective but i had
a knack for it um so then you know i just i just signed up at a local like gym and uh it's all
still in denver all in denver still training not not making any money. And then I take a class and then the instructor goes, hey, you should come tomorrow because
there's another big guy who's just getting started.
You should come tomorrow because you're too big for everybody, man.
Like everybody's small.
You're not going to get much work out of it.
But this guy comes every Thursday from Greeley.
He drives from Greeley, which is like two and a half hour drive.
He goes, he comes every Thursday. So he doesn't drives from Greeley, which is like a two-and-a-half-hour drive. He comes every Thursday.
So he doesn't have anybody to train with.
So come back tomorrow.
So I come back tomorrow.
I'm like, who is this guy?
And this guy at the time was a nobody like me.
His name was Shane Carwin, who became the UFC heavyweight champion of the world.
And he was like a big brother to me.
So he was older than me.
He took me under his wing.
Me and him were just training.
And he's driving all that way because he doesn't have anyone his size to spar with?
Is that why?
He was driving because the school, high altitude martial arts in Aurora, was started by Nate Marquardt, who was a famous UFC fighter.
The only UFC fighter at the time, like well-known.
So that was like where you went because he was the one guy who made it.
Got it.
So everyone – that was the spot.
And that's how I found it.
So me and him just started training together.
He only had one fight.
I'd corner him.
And then he was like, hey, man, next week's Golden Gloves, boxing.
I go, all right, cool.
I'm not a boxer.
He goes, yeah, yeah, I signed you up for it.
What?
I don't want to fucking box.
How long have you been even fucking with him?
Six months.
That's it yeah
he's like you're in golden gloves he's like so get your mind right and he was about to go against
somebody that could have been training since they were eight dude so he signed up for golden gloves
and i'm like i don't want it i felt so much pressure to do it i'm like all right you paid
for it he's like yeah man sent in all your shit like you're you're fucking fighting dude so my guy i sell supplements so i i
go to golden gloves my dad comes my dad's like what are you doing i was like dad listen if if
i don't win this whole thing which i was a underdog if i don't win this whole thing i'll
stop doing all this bullshit but just come to support me you know my dad he's like all right
i'll come so my dad comes and the way golden gloves works is especially at the time he's like, all right, I'll come. So my dad comes, and the way Golden Gloves works is, especially at the time, it's like me and all Mexican kids.
So the first – I have like three fights the first night.
You fight back-to-back, all knockouts.
I get three knockouts in a row.
I'm like, that's weird.
Wait.
Okay.
So the first time you knock a guy out – all right.
Have you ever knocked someone out before in just a fist fight or anything like that?
Never been in a street fight?
Nothing.
Really?
You've never been?
No.
Just your brothers messing around and shit?
Just my older brother beat the shit out of me, but I'm like one in 9,000 against him.
I won one fight when I was like seven.
So this is the first time you've ever knocked a person out?
Real fight, yes.
How'd you do it?
How'd you catch him?
With a right hook.
He just came in.
I hit him, and then he went down.
I'm like, oh, really?
And then I felt bad.
I was like, oh, felt bad i was like oh
man i was like are you all right dude he's like get the fuck out of here's mexican family's front
row so i got three knockouts which is kind of unheard of in golden gloves which was news to me
i'm like i thought boxing we knock each other out and they're like no dumbass this is like
amateur boxing no one really gets knocked out you have the headgear and stuff too you still knock them out with that fucking thing god damn so the next night i'm in the championship and my
dad's like oh man what is happening it's like in a rough area my dad's like what are you doing dude
i'm like i don't know and you're getting your hands wrapped in the crowd because there's no
like green room you're just getting it's fucking you know so i'm getting my hands wrapped and my
dad goes who are you fighting the championship my god I'm like, I have the guy's name is fucking Adam or something.
And this giant black guy comes walking by.
My dad goes, Jesus Christ.
And I go, oh, my God.
And he goes, what's up, man?
I'm Adam.
And he goes to fist bump me.
And he's like a man.
Yeah, his hands.
He's a man.
He's like a man.
He's a man.
And so my coach goes, yeah, it's probably better you know what you sign up for.
He goes, he was the Army champ.
He's like 41-0, man.
You said, I didn't sign up for this.
Yeah, I don't want to be here.
So he's like, yeah, he was the military Army champ.
He's like 41-0.
I'm like, what?
He's undefeated.
I'm like, how the fuck are – what are we doing here?
He's like, just give it your best shot. Knock him out in the second round no win golden gloves so i win golden knocked him
out knocked him out dude yeah so yeah i'm laughing because i'm thinking of the announcer being like
three and oh and he's 41 and oh like two undefeated they don't even know you knocked
that motherfucker out knocked him out yeah i got it so now you're four and oh with four knockouts
four knockouts damn and then it was off to the races then then i take my first daggone nuts no no no he was like you're a moron
you have you know i was a double major business sociology he's like you got me was he going nuts
from the knockout oh for sure but he was still like dude like come on you don't like kids like
you don't fight man like there's much tougher guys out there yeah he's like there's a million
things you could do he's like use your business mind and start a business do something and uh i was like well
let's see what happens with this so and how old are you at this point now fresh out fresh out of
college so what 24 4 20 22 23 so um yeah so one golden gloves and then shane car when he was
fighting mma at the time i was courting him so he's like, oh, let's get you on this card.
So he gets me my first MMA fight.
And where is that?
That's in Broomfield, Colorado.
Okay.
And you'll see there's a common theme because I get thrown just to the big leagues.
In comedy, football, I get the big leagues right away where I probably shouldn't be there.
So in MMA, I get put on – it's called Ring of Fire, which is the big, big promotion out there, like the biggest.
It's their version of the UFC.
It's at Broomfield Event Center, which is a big deal.
And it's my first MMA fight and I knock him out in like 34 seconds.
Get the fuck out here.
And my mom comes.
My mom comes and I see her after.
And my mom is born and raised in England.
Like she's a rough, funny lady, but rough.
And she's like, cool, so when are you back on?
I'm like, what?
She goes, when are you back on?
I go, well, mom, that's the fight.
There's only one.
I knocked him out in 30 seconds.
This is a good thing.
She goes, I drove all the way to fucking Broomfield for 30 seconds.
I go, this is a good thing.
She goes, get the fuck out of it.
Never came to fight again.
Never came to fight again.
Never, never.
That's hilarious.
So your mommy, my mom's funny, man.
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Now, let's get back to the do.
All right, so you're 4-0.
How do you knock him out?
4-0 boxing.
I knocked that guy out.
I clip him.
He falls down.
I just get on top, pound him out.
And then I have three more fights in that same organization.
Knock all those guys out
and like i think my longest fight was like 50 seconds so there's like some buzz around me but
even i'm like this is insane this is so stupid but knowing what you know and i know about wrestling
fighting you've never been tested you haven't been past a minute i've been tested in the gym
because remember my training partner shane carwin who eventually became the ufc world champion he's fucking good and again i know how i stand up next to him i mean you haven't
had to go six minutes but that's kind of but as a prospect that's kind of how it should be yeah
you should be starching dudes if you're gonna make it to the you're right about that you should
be starching these fucking bums that you're that's what they all said about tyson too he hadn't been
he had never been tested into a fight never yeah so So I'm like 4-0, 3-0 in mixed martial arts, just fought bums.
And then I get a call from Ultimate Fighter, which was at the time a big, big deal.
It was the reality show where they took 16 fighters, put them in a house, and they bring me for interviews.
And I've never met a camera I don't like.
So when I'm in front of the camera you know i put on a show and i walk out of them like you got the gig without even like talking
to agents anything as walking out like you're on the show i'm like holy shit so i go on the
ultimate fighter and that's with like guys who are similar to my skill set all prospects all
everybody's undefeated one guy in the house was roy nelson who was 30 and he had like over 30 fights former
world champion had no business being the house but he's in the house with us kimbo slice was on
that season it's the biggest season ever so that was like the launching pad to my career i make it
to the finale so in the house which is how you earn your contract if you go undefeated in the
house you earn a ufc contract i go undefeated I go three and oh, and I get to the finale.
And then I fight Roy Nelson,
the finale,
the,
the experience,
the guy shouldn't be in that and get knocked out.
That was my first loss.
Yeah.
Is that your first time?
Well,
it's your first loss.
Have you,
had you been knocked out ever before in football or anything like that?
So what was that like?
Do you remember seeing it?
What do you remember of the knockout?
I just remember being really embarrassed and i couldn't
believe it happened to me and because i was kind of whooping his ass and then i just remember
him just he hit me with one right hand i was like that's it i was like the first time i've
been hit in a fight i'm like that's it dude and then he hit me behind the ear where there's not
much you can do about it so and that knocked you out that yeah put me out and then i i was just like
heartbroken man heartbroken and then uh i remember a experienced fighter named keith jardine who was
a friend of mine who's like a ufc hall of famer came up to me and i'm like so sad nobody can
really tell you anything to get you out of that and he goes i'll tell you this man i've had some
losses he goes i feel sorry for whoever has to fight you next.
He said, I feel so sorry for that dude.
I was like, all right, whatever, dude.
Three months later, the UFC gives me a contract.
I earn my ticket to the chocolate factory.
And then I fight a guy named Chase Gormley in Denver at Broomfield Events Center.
Real quick, what's a contract?
So when they give you a contract, what is that?
Six-fight contract.
Six fights.
Guaranteed?
No.
No. No.
No.
Nothing's guaranteed in fighting.
So it's not like NFL or NBA.
Yeah.
So it's a six-fight contract, but they can fire you at any time.
And the way fighting works is to show up and take the fight, you get this sum.
If you win, you get this sum.
So to get your whole paycheck, you have to win the fight.
Okay.
All right.
It's a bummer.
Gotcha.
So you're getting a flat fee,
but you're not getting the rest of it.
But I'm not balling, but a bit, it's a bit, it's like,
how much is it? Do you remember? Yeah. It's a, at the time of six and six,
six grand to take the fight, six grand if you win.
So 12 grand, 12 grand. That's not a lot of money at all,
especially after taxes and everything.
Agents, 10% nightmare, nightmare. So Nightmare. Nightmare. So, yeah.
So my first fight in the UFC, I fight a guy in Chase Gormley in my hometown.
I knock him out in 47 seconds.
Damn.
All right.
Does your record of 4-1 carry into the UFC, or you now start at 0-0 when you get there?
For some weird reason, those fights I had on the Ultimate Fighter, which everybody saw,
which were my biggest fights, they didn't count those.
Okay.
So if I was, say, 3-0 or 4-0 coming into the house, I won three fights, I'd be 7-0.
Lost to Roy, 7-1.
Then I should be 7-1 when I fought Chase Gormley.
So in my head, I've been seven, eight fights, which is still pretty green.
Yeah.
But again, it's off to the races.
I'm in the biggest show in the world.
I'm fighting Chase Gormley. Shortly after that, I fighting gabriel gonzaga he's ranked top 15 in the world
i beat him and then after that it's marco crocop who you know legend knock him out and i'm fighting
in brazil you know it's just like what is into now you're going to brazil and but i realized what
was going i'm like this is like this needs to slow the fuck down.
Why?
What's going on with you? Because I was a cheat code in the system.
Like, this isn't how it should work.
And I knew it.
You know, I knew it.
I was young.
And even then, I knew it.
I was like, this is going to catch up to me, man.
It's going to catch up.
You always believe that.
I knew because you're going to get to a certain point where you're going to fight a guy who's fought the young line, the athletic kid, and he's not scared of me.
And that was Gabriel – I'm sorry.
That was Big Nog in Brazil.
So what happened there?
So it's the biggest fight of my career.
It's UFC 134, if I remember correctly.
It's in Brazil.
First time they went back to Brazil, stacked on the co-main event.
I mean, what is that like?
Because those arenas over there, just the stadiums are way bigger again it'd be it'd be like fighting
michael jordan in chicago yeah no one no one's rooting for me we we all my food we had to they
had to go over with a comb because they thought they were trying to poison come on oh dude is
why why are you hated that much because you're're fighting their legend. And I was the favorite.
But you're not.
Oh, you were the favorite.
I'm supposed to take care of this dude.
Okay.
Young Lion, legend.
Let's get the legend out.
They're costing too much money.
It's in Brazil, but I should fucking starch this dude.
And it's just such a weird.
How old are you?
25.
25, maybe.
And what's he?
38.
All right.
So this is his.
Every bit of it. Yeah. This is his twilight. Wrong in the 238. You know what I'm saying? 38. Every bit of it. This is his. Every bit of it.
Yeah.
This is his twilight.
Wrong in the 238.
You know what I'm saying?
A fighter's 38.
It's like dog years.
You know what I'm saying?
He's old.
And it was such a weird thing because I got a call from a random Brazilian number from
this guy, broken English, goes, hey, we want to give you, I think it was like – I can't remember the exact total, but we want to give you 60 grand cash
if you knock Nogueira out, put on – because soccer is big out there.
And they go, we want you to put on his rival team where he's from.
After you knock him out, put on this jersey.
I'm like, that sounds easy enough.
I'll do that.
I'm like, cool.
And I tell my manager, he's like, dude, be careful because the way that works,
that's Brazilian mafia, man.
They work with these football teams, these soccer you gotta be careful i'm like yeah they're
just gonna drop it off so these two gangster brazilians come in full suits come to my hotel
room and they get the cash out and they put in you know you have those uh lockers like the
safes they put put the cash in there and and they go, again, in broken English.
It was a nightmare to figure it out, translate.
They go, when you win, we'll text you the code to get your money out.
If you lose, we'll come get it that night.
I'm like, all right, cool.
Totally knew I was messing with gangsters, whatever.
Just wanted the cash.
I was young.
Go into the fight, get knocked out.
Miserable.
You get knocked out?
Get knocked out.
What round?
First round.
No.
I light him up with an uppercut. He's wobbly. I'm out? Get knocked out. What round? First round. No.
I light him up with an uppercut.
He's wobbly.
I'm like, I'm going to starch this fucking old dude.
And then he weathers a storm and then jab, jab, jab, and then right hand against the cage.
And I didn't even see it coming.
Knocks me out.
And then I'm like full of tears.
My whole family flew to Brazil.
Your mom?
Nope.
Your mom's home. Mom's like, get the fuck out of here you fight once you guys
are pussies um yeah so i'm back in the locker room just sad knock on the door it says two
brazilian gangsters they look at me go sorry enter the code take their money and then you know then
the the ufc after that was just like, again, I wasn't born.
I wasn't put on this earth to fight.
I'm not a violent person.
I'm not an aggressive person.
I was just a really good athlete that had no other options.
And the UFC was an easy way for me to make money.
So I knew I had to get out.
And that's the moment you knew right there?
No, the fight before that I knew I had to get out.
You did.
I fought Mirko Krokop, and I knocked him out, and he was a legend.
And we had a back and forth fight.
It's one of the – it's always on the UFC's like all-time great fights.
Me and him are going back and forth.
He elbows me in the second round with an elbow and shatters my – she just shatters my face.
Damn.
I had this horrible cut.
And I remember like, why am I so tired?
Like I'm in phenomenal shape.
Why am I fucking tired?
It's because he shattered my nose and all the blood was clogging.
I had to swallow like tons of blood.
Ended up knocking.
I think at the time, I don't know if it is now, it was the latest knockout in heavyweight history.
I knocked him out with like a minute to go in the third round.
Starched him.
I mean, a horrible knockout.
But we're in the back and the commission fuck this is in new jersey
newark new jersey the commission fucked up and gave me his check and his was like a million
something and the guy goes oh so i see how much he's getting paid and he's fucked up his whole
face is all distorted stuff and i'm like oh what am i doing that that was like my hero i just fucked
that guy up they give me his check i'm like'm like, oh, fuck. Bonus. And like, oh, sorry, sorry.
And then like, my bad.
Give him his check.
I'm like, okay.
And they give him my check.
I made like 16 grand.
And my face is all fucked up.
You were holding a million dollar check for a second.
And that's why.
And he deserves it.
He's a legend.
He paid his dues.
But still.
And I look.
I just remember staring at him.
You know, this Croatian.
They call him Cro Cop.
Croatian Cop. His real Cro Cop, Croatian Cop.
His real name is like Mirko something.
And I just remember looking.
I'm like, this is no way humans should be behaving.
Like there has to be a better way for me to make money.
But I'm ranked top ten in the world at the time.
Man, that's got to be a hell of a conflict.
Yeah.
To be that good and know that you need to do something else.
But I looked at
him and we're both so fucked up man and i looked at him i just go there has to be a better way man
there has to be a better way for us and i'm crying i go there has to be a better way and he looks at
me and goes this is life this is life and i was like it's not though dude i remember thinking i'm
like i'm young it's not so i was one foot out at that exact moment coming off the biggest one in my life.
I was out, one foot out the door.
And then you go to the biggest loss of your life.
Biggest loss.
Suffered another loss after that.
Right after it?
Right after.
Well, like six months after I fought this guy.
But the next fight.
Next fight.
Lost that fight.
How'd you lose that one?
Knockout.
God damn.
And early too?
Early. Wob too? Early.
Wobbled them again.
Wobbled them.
Just inexperienced, man.
Again, I was the cheat code.
I didn't have the experience to deal with that type of fighters,
those experienced fighters.
Then I go on a winning streak.
I win two or three in a row.
And then my last fight in the UFC was 2014, 13 to Travis Brown.
I lose to him.
And I knew going into that fight, that was my last one.
Because I was doing a podcast with Brian Callen, the fire and the kid, you know, for years, you know.
And I was getting more recognized for that.
My paycheck for that was more than I was getting for fighting.
Was it really?
Yeah.
That's interesting.
And that's what – and i enjoyed that i
like having fun talking shit with brian being you know brian brought me in the comedy world and like
once once i got around comics it was the first time when i felt in my skin like i felt like oh
okay like i don't know if you've ever seen you have kids maybe the shark's tail oh yeah so there's
a great white in there and he doesn't want to do great white shit he
wants to you know paint and listen to music and dress different i was the great white that didn't
i want to be a dolphin never wanted to be big i don't like being big i'm super self-conscious
insecure about my size so i just never i didn't i just didn't fit in i just never because those
guys were like so aggro and this this this and this and i'm like
yeah i don't i don't think so man so uh until i met brian and started playing with brian you know
just at restaurants and on air that it's the first time i like like oh this is what this is what i
should be doing this is what i love to do and then we started doing live firing the kids that's my
first time on stage and uh br Improv or Ontario Improv.
And I got off stage and Brian was like, this is what you can do for the rest of your life.
You're meant to do this.
Wow.
And the first time I was like, you're right.
You're right.
So how did you officially quit UFC?
Did you have to make an announcement or how did that go? Not really.
It was just like they're going to offer you fights.
Kept turning them down.
Then finally I was like, hey, tell them to stop wasting their time.
Like I'm busy doing this.
So I'll let – tell them I'll let them know when I want to fight.
Okay.
But you did actually have a fight while you were podcasting?
No, I had several fights.
Really?
All right.
Yeah.
And at the time we were doing podcasts before everybody's fucking stepmom was doing them.
So me and Brian and I would make merch.
And again, I didn't have much money, man.
And I told Brian, and hey, I've always been like creative guy.
I love fashion.
I said, let me make merch for Fire and the Kid.
He goes, all right.
So I went and talked to this printer at the Ave in Venice, right off Windward Circle there.
And he goes, hey, it's going to be about $2,200.
I'm like, I don't have fucking $2,200.
So I went to Brian.
And Brian goes, I'll give you the money for that.
Brian gave him the money.
The shirt sold out in like 30 seconds.
And I was still fighting the time because I remember I wore that shirt.
It said Abbott-Kenney Fight Club.
I wore that against Andre Orlovsky.
I wore that.
Instead of taking sponsorship money
i wore my shirt and i was like the first one to kind of do that okay yeah instead i remember the
guys back in the day would do write it on their back and shit and we look like you look like
nascar guys so for me i was like oh no i don't want any of that i'm gonna wear my own shit my
manager was like you're insane dude i was like i know but this is my shit man this is my and
wearing that it's probably gonna make you more money than that company wants to give you for their fucking T-shirt.
It didn't, but it was also like, it was just like, to me, it was more important.
Yeah.
I was like, I've never done anything for money.
I'm like, the money will come.
I'd rather wear this and represent me and Brian in comedy and, you know, walk out to the octagon.
That'd be cool.
So let's talk about comedy then.
Your first introduction to comedy
was podcasting right so when did you first do stand up my would be doing the live find the
kids with me and brian that was just straight you know comedy show oh that was a stand-up show not
a live podcast no no i've never agreed with live podcasts i think it's not the the medium for it
it's a bad idea i've never been to one where I've enjoyed it.
So I didn't want to do that.
And Brian's like, no, no, no, we're going to do a show, man.
I'm a performer.
And he goes, and at the time, he didn't want to scare me.
He knew I wanted to do stand-up.
He's like, dude, so the way we're going to start, every show we have, we had like 12 dates booked.
He goes, we're going to start every show with you just telling a story.
You're going to come out on your own. You you're gonna tell a story for the first 10 minutes and then i'll come out and we'll do our thing together okay cool and so i'd go out tell stories
or whatever and then you know probably 10 shows go by wait how did you feel about stand up wanted
to do it totally different than podcasting so now you're going from boxing to MMA, let's say, in the same world.
Kind of.
Kind of, but not the same thing at all.
So what were you more comfortable with, podcasting or stand-up?
I was comfortable with podcasting, but I knew I was funny because I'd make Brian and Rogan laugh.
And they kept urging me to do stand-up because we'd go to dinners and Rogan's like, dude, you've got to tell us on stage.
I'm like, nah.
I wanted to inside, but I was too embarrassed.
And by Brian going, you're just going to tell stories.
I didn't put that together that I was doing stand-up.
So I'd go out and do stories in front of these crowds.
Now, granted, there are crowds.
So they're going to be pretty forgiving.
It's not like I'm doing the comedy store, but I'm doing these stories for eight to ten minutes and it's going well.
And then we're doing like the Vic Theater in Chicago, the biggest theater.
And we're in the back.
And I told Brian, I go, hey, with my story, I'm trying to think.
And I kept saying story.
And Brian goes, oh, that's so cute.
I go, he goes, you think you're telling stories?
I go, what?
He goes, you're doing stand-up, Bubba.
I just don't want you to shit your pants thinking you're doing open mics.
Like you're doing stand-up. Yeah, you never did an't want you to shit your pants thinking you're doing open mics. You're doing stand-up, dude.
Yeah, you never did an open mic, huh? Well, I have since.
Okay.
So I'm doing that.
And then I was like, oh, fuck, I am doing stand-up.
So I start writing, put more effort into it.
And then we do a live find the kid at the comedy store.
And a week later, the comedy store booker goes, hey, do you want to do a set?
Because it went really well.
I did like an eight-minute story set? Cause it went really well. I did like a eight minute story up there and went really well.
And it was Emily or somebody,
I forget who's doing at the time.
Yeah.
Emily.
Yeah.
Shout out to Emily.
Who's not moving to Texas.
Good on you.
Unlike your boy.
Sell out.
Anyways,
trader anyways.
Yeah.
Bad guy.
Hashtag bad guy.
Hashtag sell out.
Anyways. So she goes hey do
you want to do a set in the belly room and i go uh oh i don't know let me let me check with brian's
schedule i don't know what schedule is and she's like no just you dumbass and i was like you want
me to do a set and i was like so honored but also terrified and she goes yeah yeah we saw you on
stage the main room come to a set the belly room she goes you have material right i'm like oh yeah didn't oh yeah no doubt so yeah come to a set we'll give
you i forget what like six minutes so now this is your first that's my first that was my that was
like my first set that was six years ago in the belly room and like a dumbass i invited you know
rogan callen delia uh my boys will Will Sasso, my agent, Todd Feldman.
Everybody is in the front row, man, and I just eat cock because I just eat dick.
Stand up when you're doing it.
So that was my –
Was it a packed room?
Packed.
Sold out.
Packed.
I eat all the dicks.
It didn't go well.
I eat all the dicks.
Okay.
Let me ask you.
Were you more embarrassed about that or getting
knocked out really but yeah dude get knocked out your underwear in a steel cage in brazil
in front of all his fans and you gotta hear about it non-stop that's gotta be and you're like really
trying you know so it's like yeah no no it's like yeah i had a whole camp you know it's like
i put everything into that uh but stand up i i knew it was like it yeah, I had a whole camp. It's like I put everything into that.
But with stand-up, I knew it was like it was a painting I was never going to finish.
So it was like I took a brush and did one thing.
It's like I can finish this thing over years.
It didn't take years.
And so I just kept working, man.
And then I kept getting spots, spots, spots. But did they bust your balls about eating shit?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It's the best.
Brian looked at me.
He was like, Bubba, 10 years, Bubba, 10 years.
I was like, you think? And he was like, 10 years. I was like, you think?
And he's like, 10 years before you get a career,
before you're doing anything.
And again, I was thrown into it, you know,
and I'm six years in now and, you know,
shot a special, I have offers now,
shoot specials with every major network you've heard of.
It's just a different animal for me.
But again, with my experience in life,
I've learned it's like, this has to slow down.'ve learned it's like this has to slow down.
This has to – we've got to slow down.
Let me work on the craft that I'm passionate about.
And there's a reason why I do fucking eight sets in three days in L.A. when it's not North Korea right now.
So let's go back for a sec.
After this, you get this momentum.
When do you first go do a real open mic?
That week.
You did?
Yeah, I hit the ground running.
When I say running, I mean nobody could offer me anything I would say no to.
Open mics, restaurants, bars.
Oh, good for you.
You did go out and put that in.
Yeah, see, I think that's where if you're a comic who has animosity towards me because of my success, I don't think you – like I'm not posting on the ground about open mics.
Yeah, nobody does.
No.
But you got to work out.
That's what the in-betweens are.
Yeah, and that's where I've been super fortunate where I have guys like Rogan, Brian.
I'm like, dude, you can't just do the comedy story or the improv.
You need to go where people don't know who you are.
You need to eat shit, yeah.
Yeah, and I've ate shit a ton of times.
That's it. I mean that's how you get good. Yeah, and I've ate shit a ton of times. That's it.
I mean, that's how you get good.
Yeah, figuring it out.
Yeah.
And it's great.
So how long are you in when you get your like – well, you're only a couple days in when you get your – or one show in when you get the belly room.
So how long are you in before you get your special?
Three years.
Three years, years okay three years
and what happens three are you nervous i mean this is like going to brazil and fighting this
dude now in the comedy world and i wish somebody before i got on that flight to brazil like baba
let's uh let's let's hold off let's just take it easy, huh? Let's take it easy.
You're not Dave Chappelle.
But listen, I've known you for a little bit, not well,
because I just don't know you well.
Yeah, sure.
And you're newer to this, so I haven't gotten to know you too well.
But sitting here talking to you, I know you're a good dude.
Yeah.
You've never seen in any of these stories,
like you've let your ego get in the way.
Like, oh, I'm going to shoot.
Never. You've never seen in any of these stories, like you've let your ego get in the way. Like, oh, I'm going to shoot. I can.
So did you with like, were you concerned when you got the special?
Were you worried like it might be too early?
Like it's what you said.
You're going to see a pattern.
And I have.
So are you worried that it's too early the way it was with football, the way it was with MMA?
Yeah, because really.
So we jump forward to the special but between that belly room show
and the special a year after that belly room show comedy central came to me and uh they didn't come
to me they i heard from a mutual friend that they're doing auditions for this is not happening
and i love that show and ari shafir was doing it and uh i called r.e.o.z.k i'm not
asking for any special treatment but what stories are the best he's like self-deprecating fun stories
funny bits are what crushes on there so i had this old fight story uh that was also my special
different story but same premises more beefy for a special so i i made the cut on comedy central that's not happening i
think it's at like four million views or three million views so that was that was like my first
big deal in comedy that was that your first tv appearance that was my first tv appearance it was
like when you know that was game time that was like you know i'm around big comics they're going
on stage i can tell they're nervous i'm like oh shit if they're nervous i should definitely be
nervous that was like my first taste of like the big leagues in comedy and that that went really
well that went really really well for me and that that was my big break in comedy that getting on
this not happening in comedy central and i have like this super super soft spot in my heart for
comedy central you know and ari and ericams. I mean, it's such a show.
I mean, to take, but also to take that
from digital to network. Big time.
Come on. It's the first one
they ever did that with. Big time.
I think Ari too. I did
a couple of them. Yeah. Yeah. That was a big,
big deal for me because
for me, getting on Comedy Central
meant everything. So
I still, you know, I owe Comedy Central one. So that was a big deal for me, man. Comedy Central meant everything. So I still – I owe Comedy Central one.
So that was a big deal for me, man.
So then I'm on tour.
I'm headlining all around, selling theaters out and headlining all sorts of big clubs.
Showtime, their comedy team saw me do a set in the main room.
Then that's when the talk for the special started to happen.
And then they were like, yeah, we have a budget for it if you want to do it.
And I was like, well, I have an hour.
I'm going to get rid of it.
So hold on.
Your TV appearances go Comedy Central, this is not happening, Showtime special.
Yes, sir.
There's no other TV appearances at all in there.
Nothing.
Wow.
That is fucking fast.
That's really fast.
Yeah.
Fast. And then you fast. Yeah, fast.
And then you get compensated for the special and stuff like that.
I'm like, I have an hour, so might as well do it with them.
I just remember Rogan and Brian, my guys, and Delia being like,
you know, slow down, man.
I'm like, I know, but it's there.
And they were trying to do me a solid.
And it's not that that special is bad. I think everyone's first special is like, you they were trying to do me a solid. It's not that that special is bad.
I think everyone's first special is like you just know you can do so much better.
I will not go watch.
Oh, I won't go watch my old sets or anything.
It's the worst.
And hell, I thought I was ready.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
I'm like, oh, shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I know, bro.
There are some things I look back on and go, God, I'm glad I didn't get that.
Right?
I'm glad I didn't get that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I think for me, I look back, I'm like, I would have wrote it this way now.
You just have more experience, you know?
I'm still proud of it.
Do you ever go back and watch it?
Never.
Have you ever? Never. Have you ever?
Never.
Never gone back?
I sat in on the edit to make sure it was done the way I wanted, but since that, nothing.
I don't have any bits from it, nothing.
Nothing.
You do none of that material at all now?
It's all burned?
God, no.
Yeah.
No, hell no.
I can't wait to get out of that, you know, get out of it, because there's a lot of fight
reference in that.
I completely get away from that now.
So what now? You away from that now. So what now?
You go from that special.
What happens after the special?
You know, I think with specials, especially now,
that was two years ago when it aired.
January, was it 19th?
God, was it?
Yeah, 2019 is when that aired.
I shot in 2018. Where did you shoot it? Yeah, 2019 is when that aired. I shot in 2018.
Where did you shoot it?
Spreckles Theater in San Diego.
Okay.
So I think as far as was it successful,
it was one of the most viewed specials on Showtime of all time.
Was it?
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
So you get the eyeballs.
I sent more tickets from it.
So I think from a business perspective, Showtime and the people involved are like, dude, home run.
But to me, I'm like, I wish I would have waited.
I wish I would have waited.
Why?
Just because you know how it is.
I know why I would have waited for a shit I'm done.
From year to year, you grow so much, especially me.
So it's like if anybody who's came to my show now,
they're probably like, geez, blown away about how much better I've gotten.
So it's just like these leaps that you make.
So business-wise, success.
Me, as far as creative, I wish I would have waited.
All right.
Now, football comes fast.
You're out.
MMA comes fast.
You're out.
Comedy comes fast. You seem out. MMA comes fast, you're out. Comedy comes fast.
You seem to be in no matter what.
What is it about comedy that wasn't about MMA or football?
Because I think this is what I should be doing.
I was made to do this.
I enjoy the process.
I enjoy writing.
I enjoy going on the road.
I love everything about it.
And does your dad support this now?
He's told you always use your brain.
So where is he at with this? everything about it. Does your dad support this now? He's told you always use your brain. So where is he at with this?
He likes it.
I don't think he realizes to the magnitude of what I do stand up at.
I think when I shot my special, he flew out to LA.
He didn't come to the taping.
Way to go, dad.
Didn't come to the way to go.
Mom did?
Fuck no.
Mom's done, bro.
It was a one and done.
Mom's like, you're only doing one show?
Mom's like, you're only doing one show?
No, my dad just doesn't realize at what level I'm working at in stand-up.
So he flies out here after the special to see his grandson.
And we're at the mall, and he said nothing.
And I don't know. It's whatever.
Did he watch it?
I don't think so.
So then he looks at me me goes uh how'd your speech
go speech yeah i was like all right man you're just just fuck it fuck it man fuck it fuck it
just fuck it and then he got then i do the the um the the club in denver comedy works big club grew up with comedy works you know
i love and economy works is close to my heart because you know you know how it works in the
comedy business they'll put youtubers on they'll put fucking famous people from real housewives
orange county they'll book you the comedy works when my agent offered me.
I went, no, we're not booking that guy.
He hasn't been doing it long enough.
And my agent goes, okay, well, he's from there.
So he'll do the Paramount across the street if you guys don't put him in there.
And I go, I don't want to do that.
I'm not trying to do that.
I want to be viewed as a real comic.
Ask her what I can do to work that club.
Oh, good for you.
And she goes, come and do a set.
I said, I'll fly.
That's Wendy.
Wendy. Yeah. Shout out to Kaz out there, too for you. And she goes, come and do a set. I said, I'll fly. That's Wendy.
Wendy.
Yeah.
Shout out to Kaz out there, too. Yeah, so I came in there and did a set.
Came in and did a set.
The following year, they offered me one night, Thursday night.
Did the one night.
And then after that, they offered me full weekends.
All right.
So they have a super close spot in my heart.
Because that's the way it should be done.
Well, she does it right, man.
She doesn't.
Few clubs do, to be honest. Every fucking fucking club i say this to her all the time every manager every waitress waiter bartender
server whatever should have to train in that club before they go out into the fucking comedy world
that is the way yeah they do it right they treat you like a professional yeah you're not treated
like that most places you go.
Yeah.
I've been in some places where, especially early on when I was headlined, I'm like, who's on before me?
And they're Ashy fucking Frank from YouTube.
And I'll sit back and watch the show, and it's a fucking train wreck.
I'm like, this isn't stand-up, man.
He's dancing for half the time, and he's doing fucking TikTok videos.
Yeah, you got to follow that.
I don't want to be involved with this, man.
That guy's a fucking puppet.
And his homies are on stage.
I'm like, I don't want to be part of this, man.
So you're walking a fine line in comedy.
You are, man.
There's all kinds in comedy.
That's the thing.
Comedy is where the rejects from everywhere else land.
You know what I mean?
It's so funny when I sit down and comedians are like, well, I was a theater reject.
I'm like, the theater threw you out?
You know what I mean?
That's how you know where comedy is. We're all the bottom rung freaks.
Yeah, everyone's fucked up.
Well, brother, thank you for coming on.
Of course, man.
This has been a really fucking informative, fun episode.
It's weird for me.
It's nice to get to know you this way. Yeah, I love you, man. I've always been a fun episode it's weird for me it's nice to get to know you this yeah i love you man i've always been a fan it's weird for me you're right because
i do all my other shows it's weird for me to be on this side yeah it's rare i get to uh talk about
myself well i'm glad you did man i appreciate you yeah it's a weird story hopefully it's a great one
dude like look man most people would be thrilled to ever get to the NFL and have,
you say a cup of coffee, we call it a shot of espresso.
A shot of espresso.
You can drag out a cup of coffee.
I had an espresso, and they still claim me.
Like when the Bills were doing the playoff, they're like,
dude, hashtag Bills Mafia, why don't you sports more?
I'm like, hey, I played as many games as you did, Bubba.
Like, I'm a Broncos fan.
Oh, shit.
But that would be enough for a lot of people.
Then to get to the MMA would be enough for a lot of people.
Like, yeah, but I mean, you've gone for three.
I think it's all perspective.
Like, I feel like a failure in football.
I feel like a failure in the UFC.
I feel, you know, comedy is a different animal.
Well, there's times I certainly feel like a failure in comedy. Oh I feel, you know, comedy is a different animal. Well, there's times I certainly feel like a failure.
Oh, there's some times I get off stage.
I'm like, I need to refund everybody money.
Yeah, so it's all perspective.
You know, if I was a kid and you sat me down, like,
okay, dude, so you're going to get a shot in the NFL.
You're going to play Division I football,
and then you're going to get the UFC.
You're going to rank top 10 in the world.
I'm like, holy shit.
They're like, right?
Isn't that cool?
But now as an older man, I'm like, oh, fuck, dude.
You know?
So it's just perspective.
Well, thank you for doing the show, dude.
It's been a lot of fun.
Yeah, thank you, man.
As always, Ryan Sickler on all social media,
ryansickler.com.
We'll talk to you you next time.