The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Brittany Schmitt - HoneySchmitt

Episode Date: November 6, 2023

My HoneyDew this week is comedian Brittany Schmitt! Brittany Highlights the Lowlights of her alcoholism, her mothers passing, and her own divorce. SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://youtube.com/@rsickler SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew What’s your story?? Submit at [e-mail] CATCH ME ON TOUR https://www.ryansickler.com/tour December 8th & 9th: San Francisco, CA SUBSCRIBE to The HoneyDew Clips Channel http://bit.ly/ryansicklerclips SUBSCRIBE TO THE CRABFEAST PODCAST https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-crabfeast-with-ryan-sickler-and-jay-larson/id1452403187 SPONSORS: NextEvo - Go to https://nextevo.com and use promo code HONEYDEW to get 25% off! BetterHelp -The HoneyDew is sponsored by BetterHelp, get 10% off your first month at https://www.Betterhelp.com/HONEYDEW

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Register today at SunriseChallenge.ca. That's SunriseChallenge.ca. Batavia, Illinois. I got a bit of bad news here. Unfortunately, I have to reschedule this weekend. It's something I'm just finding out about now, but I got to have another back procedure. So, got to miss this weekend. But we have already rescheduled the date.

So Friday, April 26th and Saturday, April 27th, I will be back in Batavia, Illinois to do the shows and your tickets will be honored. So make sure you come out and see me in April 26th and 27th, Batavia, San Francisco. I'll be back Friday, December 8th and Saturday, December 9th at cops comedy club. It's the last stop of the live and alive tour for 2023. Get your tickets at Ryan sickler.com. I'm excited to announce that my special lefty son is now available as an audio album.

Go check it out everywhere you get music. I'm very excited to announce that the Honeydew video is now available on Spotify. It doesn't change anything for you at all. It's just an additional place to watch the Honeydew. Go check out the honeydew audio and video now available on spotify the honeydew with ryan sickler welcome back to the honeydew y'all we're over here doing it in the night pan studios i'm ryan sickler ryan sickler.com ryan sickler on all your social media and i want to start this show like i start all of them by saying thank you thank you very much for watching this show thank you for supporting these guests these people come on tell you some of the ugliest

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There's no tears, no nothing. It's five bucks. There's hundreds of episodes. We got a best of a third best of coming up with Josh Wolf. And we've done three. Like I said, those three episodes of the best of that we've done like 10 to 12 on each. Those 30 plus worth your five dollars worth your Starbucks coffee this week. I promise you don't just get that month. You get all of them. All right. You get the honey do a day early. You're getting an ad free and you're getting it at no additional cost. And if you're looking for a new podcast to listen to, I'm telling you, my old podcast, The Crab Feast this year, we put it on a new RSS feed.

I got it back. And that that community, it did over one point one million downloads this year. That library, it's insane. And it's been dead for five years. That's how alive it is. year that library it's insane and it's been dead for five years that's how alive it is all right go check it out subscribe and come see me on tour all tickets for my shows are at ryansickler.com all right now you know what we're doing over here i always say these are the stories behind the storytellers we're going to highlight the little lights all right today i'm very excited to have this guest on please welcome britney schmidt welcome to the honeydew hello thank you for having me you're very welcome it's kind of long overdue to be honest yeah um thank you for being here of course and before we get into whatever we're going to get into please plug promote everything and

anything britney schmidt please okay yeah so i am finishing up a tour right now i have five weeks left all of the tour dates are on britneyschmidt.com, which is Brittany, B-R-I-T-T-A-N-Y, Schmidt, S-C-H-M-I-T-T, no D. I took all of those in college. People always put a D in my last name. And I'm like, they're all inside of me. So, and then I'm... You erased the D out of that name, girl.

Good for you. In college. You did it early. Yeah, I did it early. And I'm Brittany Schmidt on Instagram and TikTok. Did you say Dick Talk? Dick Talk, yes. It's a new platform.

We're demonetized already. Well, again, thank you for being here. I said to, I was telling i i said so i was telling kirsten i was telling brandy like i know you but i don't know you it's a lot of that in comedy but we had a great conversation at the improv on theo show i mean memorable that's why i'm saying oh she was so nice she was cool i didn't really know who you were before that yeah like i'd never seen you at shows and things yeah it's funny how long you can do be doing comedy and you still meet new people all the time yeah that have been around forever so i want to get to know you better and i know you've got some stories i do follow you so i know that you also talk personally about

your life in your stand-up um so i know you got some stuff out there yeah but um please tell me first of all where where are you from so So I was born and raised in Wisconsin. Oh, Wisconsin. Wisconsin. I'm thinking, I don't know why I had Louisiana in my head. Well, what an insult. Wow. Probably because I'm friends with Theo.

You probably think we're siblings. Maybe I put that in there. No, I have been fighting hard to get rid of my Wisconsin accent. But it comes out every once in a while. Like, I can't say the word bagel. How do say it bagel because wisconsinites say bag they're like bagel so they go hard on they go hard on the a so i say bagel and sometimes it sounds like boggle like people are like what the fuck was that word because you don't you refuse to say that's why yeah what else like what do horses eat that's too easy that's just nothing after it that was a terrible example right oh my god no do you say nasal how do you say nasal no see i've worked really hard to get rid of it but the thing is i've worked so hard to get rid

of it that i thought i never had it and i had a friend send me a video of my last day of senior high school recently senior senior year in high school and i almost threw my phone i was like who is that i was like oh my god i got an a in stats class like the teacher must love horrible and you don't remember sounding like now yeah Yeah. People still to this day are like, where are you from? You have an accent. I'm like, I don't hear it at all. I hear you are. When I moved here, I fucking thought I sounded like everyone.

Right. I had a friend. And so where we're from, Maryland, other parts of the country too, but we put an R in Warsh. Warsher and drier. Washington, D.C. We're going to Washington, D.C. And I had a friend out here one time goes, what the fuck are you saying? Yeah.

And I was like, Washington. I'm not Washington. He goes, spell it. And I go, W-A-S-H-I-N-G-T-O-N. He goes, where's the R? And I go, what do you mean? There is no R. Right.

Exactly. He goes, say it again. And I went, Washington. And I was like, listen, it took 30 years. Yeah. 30 years for me to be like, holy fuck, I'm putting an R in there for no goddamn reason. And I fucking, yeah, I took all the R's. That's interesting.

So you're from Maryland? Mm-hmm. See, your accent is very comforting to me, but it gives Southern, not Maryland. People say I have, that's why I'm saying, you say the A's, R's too. We draw our O's and our A's. We say phone. Right. And road. Right. And hand. We draw our O's and our A's. We say phone. Right. And road.

Right. And hand. And then in California, we're just perfect. Yeah. Yeah. No, they got an accent out here. Do you think so? I do.

There's a certain accent. A little bit of that. And then you got Valley Girl too. But also there's this hard R here. They'll be like, get over here. Oh. You know what I mean? Clean it up over here.

And I'm like, why are you going here? Right. All that R, R. I'm like why are you going here all that rr and i'm like we're going there already okay all right so you're from wisconsin yes mom dad also like everybody from wisconsin like growing up there and everything yeah yeah mom and dad are both from wisconsin neither of them ever left well my mom's gone now but she left she left she left uh well she's dead she didn't leave yeah she's just i got i felt was that an urn you were just about doing over there i don't know i don't know where she yeah she isn't in her is she yeah

well actually funnily she's in it's funnily a word i don't know but i followed it i knew what you were going for i'm gonna have to look it up i would try and scrabble i know that i'm something you're gonna have to challenge you're gonna have to challenge okay get the official one get the official one funny enough she wanted to be spread out her ashes to be spread out in a forest and my sister was in charge of this. And my sister was wearing my dad's hunting coat and she just fumbled the ashes and they went into his pocket. And I was like, well,

it looks like she's going to be spread at the dry cleaners. Her ashes went all in the pocket. And she just was like, trying to get rid of it. Shaking a jacket. Just walking back to the car, letting the wind blow. And like the last place,

the last place she would have wanted to be is my dad's hunting. Stuffed in a fucking old ass pocket. Listen, it's so funny you say that, Brittany, because I fucking put in my, I have a living will and trust and I made this lady. This lady, obviously I don't know who the fuck I am, but I'm like, listen, you need to put this in there. And she's like okay okay and i was like i want my ashes sprinkled in the chesapeake bay where i used to go crab and fish with my father i want her wherever she is i want her to go do that like that's the last it's our last trip together father daughter right right which is and the lady's looking at me like you're a fucking insane i'm like put it in there so she puts it in there right and then i go home and i think about it and it's exactly what i think i

think like maybe she's with her husband and kids it's pouring down rain it's muddy everywhere the fucking jar hits it's spraying all over the them and then they're wet. It's like they can't even. It's in the dogs licking it and shit. I'm like, oh, God. Yeah. It doesn't matter what you fucking want. Yeah, I know. It's what the world wants is what the world's getting. Yeah. But isn't it funny how petty you can be in a will?

They really give you room to be petty in those. I had to do one with my ex-husband when we bought a house. And we, like, they're like, who do you want? Give me an example because I don't really. Oh. I just have my daughter. So I just put that to her at this time. Yeah, yeah, no. It's like, who do you want? Give me an example because I don't really. Oh, I just have my daughter. So I just put that to her. Yeah.

Yeah. No, it's like, who do you want at the funeral? Who do you not want at the funeral? Well, there's a not one. There's a not allowed list. And I'm like, oh, we got motherfuckers on this. I want to know what year that was implemented after. Like, all right, we got to put a non-invite right a not invite

it's like what music do you want play you're dead and gone and you're being petty you're petty from the beyond yeah literally i remember the music because linda still has my sweat that's why that's how petty my ex-stepmom can go to hell. Yeah. That's where I'm at. No. Did you have anyone on your list? Yeah, my ex-stepmom. Oh, you really did? Yeah. Okay. And then he had his ex-wife, his other ex-wife.

I wonder if I'm on there now. You probably are. He's been like, I need to add one. He's like, I need to add one. Can I get a plus one? Both ex-wives. Okay. So, wait.

We've got a mom who's passed. You've got an ex-stepmom. So let's get into it. Do your parents split early? Yeah, so they started getting divorced when I was five or six. And then the divorce lasted for seven years. Yeah, okay. So they had a lot of stuff in the beginning.

But living together the entire time? No, no, no. No, okay. Just on paper, they're married at this point. I mean, they're married, but they're fighting. They're they're married but they're fighting they're in court actively fighting oh they're in court yeah it was like they drug us into court well my dad really didn't my mom you know she drug us into court but she was it was a custody battle and then it was like they had a bunch of land and they were like doing really well and then they got divorced for seven years and then at the end it

was like my mom got everything and my dad had to start over damn yeah and were you close with your dad so close i still am love him to death yeah he's the best and your mom were you close with her as well no it was really like east and west germany it was like i love that that's the yeah it's like my mom and my sister versus me and my dad and my dad and and I were obviously West. Not the Hatfields and McCoys or the fucking Montagues and the Capulets. It was East and West Germany. That's aggressive. Yeah, we're West. Yeah, you're West for sure.

Yeah. No, so it was really. So did that cause, excuse me, did that cause a divide with your mom? Because she, did you feel like she was railroading your dad in a way? I was too young for a lot of it to understand. And then, yeah, once she was putting us on trial to testify against my dad and bribing us. You actually got that far? You didn't just go to court.

You got on trial? Well, she tried to. And then the guardian ad litem pulled us down because they're like, these kids are not. Well, she tried to. And then the guardian at light and pulled us down because they're like, these kids are not. It was very clear that I was being bribed because my mom was bribing me to say that my dad was an alcoholic. But I'm like, I don't know what an alcoholic was. So I couldn't even say the word.

But I was trying to say it. And they're like, we got to pull her off the stand. So, yeah, it sucked. It was very acrimonious. And, yeah, it drove a huge wedge between our family. You know, my dad finally just gave up. He finally was like, okay, whatever. He's like, as long as I have partial custody of the kids, you can have everything else. And he rebuilt his life.

And then. Go for your dad. Yeah. And then got married again to another piece of work. That's nice of you to say a piece of work. Yeah. A piece of work. And then she took him to the cleaners when they got divorced.

So I'm like, fool me once, shame on you. Mr. Schmidt. Fool me twice. So wait, you said mom won. So you have to go live with her? Like you're too young to even have a say in like, nah, we want to go with that. Yeah. So even when we did have a say, it didn't matter because my mom, she was undiagnosed

borderline personality and she would always get the police involved in stuff. Like I remember on Father's Day, the night before Father's Day, she took my sister and I to a hotel and was like feeding us ice cream and like letting us swim and like doing all the stuff she would never do. so I remember thinking something's up and she brought us back late for Father's Day and my dad was rightfully furious and um he came like flying up the driveway and she called the police and she got him arrested on father on father's day man she set him up she was yeah she set him up yeah but he didn't do anything i know he just got mad i know that sucks that sucks this guy just wants to be with his kids on father's day and he's pissed

that he can't be not he's an asshole not yeah not that he's missing in action on father's day yeah no he just can't find him drunk somewhere. But he just knew she was being so manipulative, and he knew exactly what she was doing. And I remember her, like, grabbing me and being like, he's dangerous. Run for your lives. And I'm like. Oh, nah. You heard shit like run for your life.

Yeah. For your life. Yeah. And I was just like, okay. And then I had to watch my dad get handcuffed. On Father's Day. No. Brittany, is that real? He had to sit in a jail. On Father's Day. No! Brittany, is that real?

Yes. He had to sit in a jail cell on Father's Day. Because he wanted to be with his kids. He said there were guys that are probably like, fuck my kids. I don't even know my kids. He's like, I want to be with my kids. Yeah. That sucks.

That's heartbreaking. That is awesome. But she was like, yeah, she was that kind of demon. You know, she was like very manipulative. Can I just switch gears real quick? I want to come back to all this. But I just, Martina and I were talking about this because I saw this clip recently. Is that true?

We could cut this out if it's not. But about your dad and Dahmer, is that true? It is. Yeah. So it was my dad's best friend's birthday, Mike Kwiatkowski, and they were at a bar. And I obviously didn't put the whole like. Oh, yeah. Wisconsin.

Oh, yeah. So the bar across the street my dad used to go to this bar called stenny's and across the street from stenny's is a place it's now called la cage it's still a gay bar but it used to be where dahmer would go troll and if he didn't have luck there he would go across the street to stenny's and so my dad was at stenny's after his best friend's wedding. And this guy came up to him and started hitting on him very aggressive and was like grabbing his ass and like trying to. And my dad was like a big fucking jack dude. He's still pretty big, but he was he was really big when he was younger. And he came up to him and he was like, I'm going to give you three seconds to get away from me. My dad said this and my my dad was like, one. And then Dahmer was like, two.

Damn. And on three, he fucking knocked him out, laid him out cold. And this was in 1991. So this was right before he was about to get caught. And literally, his friends that were with him at the bar that night called him a few weeks later. And they're like, that guy is on TV. And it was Jeffrey fucking Dahmer. So he had already committed many murders.

Almost all of them. Holy fuck. Your dad could have been next. No, my dad would have never. There's so many things. I mean, he could have been drugged. You know what I mean? Right.

I'm just saying. He was a target. But there's just so. He said two? He said two. Dahmer said two. Dahmer said two. Dahmer said two. I'm like, that's the kind of.

Because Dahmer wasn't bigger than my dad. You know, my dad was a big guy. So it's like. I'm like, this guy was just fucking asking for it. Okay. Yeah. So this poor dude is arrested on Father's Day. Yeah.

And now what happens? You guys all go with mom. And are you in close proximity? Like, can dad drive over at any point and see you guys? Yeah, dad. Dad would drive over every morning when we went down to the bus stop and he would drive over. I love this.

I know he was the best dad. This is making me feel. Yeah. Yeah. He was the best dad. He was like five minutes away. He would make his coffee, would come over and sit with us at the bus stop in the morning. We'd go to school.

And then sometimes that's all, you know, we would see him. We saw him Tuesday, Thursday, every other weekend. But when he didn't have us, he would come over and hang out with us at the bus stop. Hell yeah. Yeah, he was the best dad. You can't say nothing about that. No. He's the best.

I mean, I would never have that kind of a dedication to a kid. I'd be like, you wait at the bus stop. It'll build character. You can wait alone. I'm like, what? Man, that's nice that you had that yeah so he was great but it was really hard because it was like my dad was awesome so spending time with him was great and then my mom was you know she was mentally ill so i don't want to be like she was crazy or evil or whatever i know she went through a lot um but she was really tough really fucking tough tell me about her what was your relationship like growing up with her it was always hard

because she was really overprotective and she wouldn't let us like go out hang out with friends we couldn't go to school dances we couldn't watch watch TV. We couldn't. Yeah, we like missed the world. I think she was trying so hard to protect us from like the evil of the world that we really saw nothing. And then once I did start getting out of the house, I felt like I had a lot to make up for. So I was like moving real fast. You know what I mean? I was like, if I would have maybe just developed at a regular pace with all my other friends in terms of dating and that kind of stuff i maybe would not have been such a hoe but like i was such a hoe like right when i got out of the house i was like i have to make up what age do you lose your virginity 15 that's respectable age i feel like of most kids yeah that's the second i could get out of the house oh that's the first time oh really oh you weren't out at like 13 and wait no i wasn't denying opportunities i was but it was first car we left that wrong fucking door like whoever puts

it in i was like yeah you know one of these idiots from the high school football team yeah okay and then it was on from there? It was on. Is that, and I'm not, I don't, we don't need to get into your sexual life either, but you can talk about whatever you want, but also it's on, like, do you start partying? Are you drinking? Are you, okay. So everything you're going for at this point.

It was like, you know, when I was growing up, my mom was really tough. And by that, I mean like verbally verbally abusive and and just like very tough and then school was really hard i had i was bullied in school a lot why so um here's the thing you know that thing like when you're an adult i think this is like it also pertains to kids but like when you really want something it can feel that and it doesn't want you back like i really wanted friends so i was like trying too hard to get friends and they were like you're fucking weird but like i really just wanted to be a part of something i really wanted to be accepted i really wanted to have a click i really

wanted but like it's hard to make friends with somebody who can't leave the house yeah and can't go play it with you anywhere i can can't go do anything. Yeah. Schoolmates. Yeah. So. So you're just dying to meet a friend. Yeah. I just wanted somebody.

And then, yeah, once I found alcohol, I was like, oh, I've arrived. Guess what? I'm like, guess what? Fuck you. I was like, oh, I don't need friends. But that's the crazy thing is the second I started drinking, I was like, fuck all of you. Yeah. I'm like, fuck all of you. I'm like, all of you guys can suck my fucking dick.

I got so many friends. People just started coming to me. They're like, what happened to you? Why do you all of a sudden like yourself? I'm like, well, thank you, Bacardi Raz. Is that what it was? Confidence brought to you by Bacardi. Yeah.

Yeah. And then what? Your relationship with mom stays? Does it ever get better no uh unfortunately no um so yeah she it was really tough in in high school and then she um when i was 16 in the state of wisconsin you can decide which parent you want to go live with 16 so i said i told my dad i want to go move with. Oh, at 16. So I said, I told my dad, I want to go move with you. And she was going to get the police involved. Like she's going to get the cops involved, saying that he's letting me drink. He's doing all these things. He's a negligent parent.

So my dad was like, please don't. Like just stick it out. He's like, it's two more years. And I was like, okay, fine. So I did that. And then on my 18th birthday, I came home from school. And there was a bunch of boxes on the front porch and a note on those boxes it was all my stuff and a note on those boxes saying if you ever step foot on my property again it will be trespassing and i will call the police

your mom my mom so i pack all my things oh hold on so using you for leverage the entire time against your father and the moment you're a fucking adult it's like get the fuck out of here well because i have no use for you anymore it's not even that it's it's like she's borderline personality disorder so one of their things is like they're very afraid of abandonment so they will try and leave people first and so the day i turned 18 she knew legally she didn't have a foot to keep me where i was so she wanted to get rid of me before I could reject her and leave and move out, which I would have done. But, you know, I don't know that I would have because it was like my birthday was in April. And then, you know, you graduate in what is it, May or whatever. And then I was going to college. So I was I don't know what I would have done. But anyway,

I go to my dad's house. I'm so excited. I was like, I'm moving in. This is great. And he's like, we have to go to the bank. And I was like, what? She was the custodian on my college account and I was supposed to go to ASU. And he's like, we have to go to the bank to get your college fund. Oh my God. Of course you picked ASU. Oh yeah. Of course you picked number one or two party school in the United States. It's like that and Florida State are like the top two.

And Wisconsin actually was a big one. Oh, is it up there too? Yeah. It was a big one when I was in college, which was a long time ago. So we go to the bank and I'm pleading with the teller. I'm like, I need this money. I have to give ASU a deposit. She's like, what?

And I was like, I'm going to college. It's my college fund. And she was like, honey, there's $16 in this account. No. How much was supposed to be in there? A lot. It's all gone. It's all gone. She took it. and enough for me to pay for college and it was gone and who had been putting that in there for me it was that's not even your

dad that's your own money yeah so she forced me into like childhood modeling when i was younger so it was like all the money from that all the money i had been getting from relatives throughout the years, like for birthdays, everything. It was my account. It was my money. It was what was supposed to launch me. And I just started crying and my dad just started laughing. And he's like, she fucking got you. He's like, she got you. He's like, I knew she was going to do this. And he just looked at me. He was kind of crying, but he was more laughing because he was like, I fucking knew it knew it he's like this is what she did to me when we got divorced she moved all the money around and i was like okay so thank god it was such a blessing in disguise that i didn't go to asu yeah i agree you might be dead you'd be dead you'd be dead yeah real quick did you confront

your mom about this did you like go right over there? No. No. It was done. We were not talking. There was no conversation to be had. I remember I told a few members. How? How do you do that? Honestly, how do you not drive right over to that fucking house? Drive my fucking car through her living room.

I mean, just verbally let fucking loose. How do you not? Because I knew how sick she was, and I knew that there was no way she was even going to admit she did it because the time that I did try and confront her she denied it when I told her family members what she did they all like were like this is between you and your mom like your mom's saying she didn't do this so I realized I had no support from anyone and I kind of was like you know what fuck you I'll just do it on my own well good for you yeah i mean it sounds like you're your dad's daughter yeah uh and you guys got fucked by your mom so he's like this is how you do it okay so you go there but now

when does stepmom come into oh she's been in she's in she's in uh and you already know her and things are not great with her yeah she, she came in when I was 10. Okay, and now you're 18. And she was just like this bobblehead drunk. Does she have kids? No. Okay. Just a real bad temper and a drinking problem.

And it only got worse. It was like, I see why my dad was attracted to her because she was fun. But like, she got very angry angry like she would slam the doors my dad would have to take all the doors off the hinges in the house so she didn't break them just yeah so she couldn't slam them because her thing was she would get drunk and slam the doors because she would get mad just gang yeah not just one done like, I remember the first time. You know what's so funny? I was telling Brandy my move. Like, I used to argue with my ex, and she would kick me out.

She'd be like, you're getting the fuck out of here. I'm like, don't make me drive all the way home. It's late at night. I got to work tomorrow. Get the fuck out of here. And I would just get up, and then she'd always slam the door. But my move was I'd just leave the front door open. Oh, yeah.

I'd walk out, leave it open, make her get up and shut it i didn't hear that door i make you want to slam it you fucking laugh yeah that was my move was no slam that's pretty funny yeah i remember the first time my ex my ex-husband came home all the doors in the house were off the hinges and he's like why are the doors off the hinges and i was like because leanne is too like it's oh he was just visiting yeah and i was like dad could you please put the doors back on like you couldn't have one door anywhere bathroom doors are off we're just getting go oh it's so funny that's a funny move put the doors back on i gotta take a shit dad yeah could i get a door we're gonna put curtains up we're gonna put curtains up yeah that's too fun so you guys butt heads over the eight years

and now you're gonna move in is she stoked or is she not about this well i had been half living there the whole time she was not stoked about the fact I was alive for all of it. She really hated my existence completely. I have a video I'll show you later of like her grand finale, which is like when the marriage fell apart. We were home for, it was my grandma died on the one year anniversary of my mom's death. They died on the same day. Wait, your grandma died? Yeah. Her own mom? Yes. They death, they died on the same day. Wait, your grandma died? Yeah.

Her own mom? Yes. They died a year apart on the same day? Get the fuck out of here. What are the odds of that? Yeah. So we are home for my grandma's funeral. Everyone is very sad.

Mourning your mom. Yeah. Just, I mean, a year is nothing. Yeah. Nothing when you lose someone like that. Yeah. Yeah. So we're all at the funeral, sad as fuck.

And we get home and she had been drinking jug wine. And she was just ready to fight. And we got home and we're all so tired. And she just starts going at us. And she was so drunk she didn't notice I was filming. So I'll show you. She really went. She's like, you, Brittany, you can go to hell. I was like, she's like, show you. She really went. She's like, you Brittany, you can go to hell.

I was like, she's like, fuck you. I think my mom and my grandma might have just done that. That's where we're coming back from. God damn it.

Yeah. I was like, I'm already there. Moment I walked in here through a doorless house. Okay. Moment I breezed in here. He's just out the rob on the block right here

oh my god oh my god your mom your grandmom died on the anniversary the one year yeah that sounds like some heartbreak shit yeah it's yeah you ever brush your teeth forget and then take a big swig of orange juice if you have then you know that some things just don't mix. I hated that as a kid. Like oil and water, right? Our bodies don't absorb CBD oil well, so when you reach for oil-based CBD products, you could be absorbing as low as 6% of what's on the label. NextEvo Naturals developed a proprietary water-soluble form of CBD, clinically tested multiple times, which has proven to work faster and absorb four times better. So you can stay calmer or sleep better during this stressful time of year. I'm going to tell you right now, I take it.

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It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. You just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and you can switch therapist anytime for no additional charge. Find your bright spot this season with better help visit betterhelp.com honeydew today to get 10 off your first month that's better help h-e-l-p.com slash honeydew now let's get back to the dude man okay so your mom what happens to your mom how old is she when she passes and why so yeah my mom um let's fast so we my mom and i we don't have to fast forward go back to doors off the hinges if

you want doors off the hinges so my mom and i'm gonna go back to college when i'm like at this crossroad where do you end up going i went to uw milwaukee for the first semester because it was so late i couldn't get in anywhere else and they were going to give me a free ride I also had no money free ride from UW Milwaukee is not impressive by the way and so I went there and then my mom found out I was going there and she fucking lost it because she's like that does not she always needed us to look like we were doing great like what the fuck she's stealing the ASU money for right so she was like this does not this pedigree does not align with my parenting you know what i mean she always thought it would make her look like a better parent if you know

my sister went to wisconsin so she does some black devil magic where she fucking gets me i was accepted to marquette in the fall and i didn't go there because i didn't have the money and she did some something i don't know what she did where she got me accepted for the spring semester on some sort of grant. I think she might have lied and said that she was dying because when we went into the office, she was like, if anyone asks you, I'm terminally ill. The second I just said that out loud, I'm i wonder if i'm gonna get in trouble for that but yeah yeah she's like i'm dying also i don't know that even if i had that information if i would say even in this show right now if you were i would be like are you terminally ill

you know what i mean like so you're terminally ill. So you're terminally ill. Yeah. All right, kids. Yeah. She's terminally ill. Well, it turns out she was. It was just terminally mentally ill. Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah.

No, so she gets me into Marquette. I went to Marquette. And then we had a few good times at Marquette. You know, she tried to be in my life. And then she just was, she was just too much. You know, she was always just doing too much. She was always telling she just was she was just too much you know she was always just doing too much she was always telling me i was an alcoholic just like my dad and i was gonna be you know was she not a drinker or anything she drank but she didn't have a drinking problem but

she's like you're an alcoholic just like your dad you're gonna throw your life away and when you're not an alcoholic and you're in the middle of enjoying being an alcoholic it's not what you want to hear you know what i mean i was like you ain't listening anyway right i was like i'm having a fucking blast so belch in the face right there yeah so i didn't want to hear it and i kind of like was like get the fuck out of my life and i moved to california and then when i moved to california i went to go see a friend for christmas and i got a dui at in arizona and i had to go to jail for 30 days. Did you go to tent city? I was supposed to but I got a lawyer and I went to the Beverly Hills pay to stay. Pay to stay?

What's that? It's like you pay to stay there and it's pretty nice. It's like where the elites go to jail. Is it real? Pay to stay? So it's like a little Marriott or something? Basically a hotel. It's literally right off Rodeo Drive. You have your own room? You have your own room. You have a TV. You got a hotel. Yeah, it's literally right off Rodeo Drive. You have your own room and stuff? Yeah, you have your own room, you have a TV.

You got a door? Yeah, it's got a door. It's got a door. Did they keep all those? Ha ha! Yeah. It's got a door. Can you imagine if they locked her up in there?

They have to get rid, we're getting rid of doors now. I'm like, oh God. God damn it. No shit, I didn't know that. Yeah. And that's considered time served as long as you pay to stay there? Yeah.

It was time. You know, I still went to jail. But my mom, this was her big moment where she was like, I fucking told you. You're an alcoholic. You're going to ruin your life. And I'm like, in this moment, I need a mother. I need you to be a mom and either support me or don't talk to me. And she just kept going.

And I finally said to her, I was like, listen, if ever you're ready to get help for your mental illness, I will be there for you. I will fly home to be in therapy with you. I want to support you. But until then, I cannot have a relationship with you. Like, I love you dearly, but this is way too hard. And we were estranged from that day forward. I don't remember the last time I saw my mom, but I knew it was getting worse near the end because she started cutting everyone else out of her life. Like for the longest time, it was just me. I had just cut her out. And then it was like other family members started cutting her out. My sister cut her out. My aunts cut her out. My grandparents cut her out. Everyone was like, you need to stay the fuck away from us. And when I found out everyone

had cut her off, I was like, this is it. She's getting ready to kill herself. And I remember like drunkenly I was trying. I was so sad and I was trying to get a hold of her. I was calling her cell phone, calling her landline, trying to email her. And she had changed everything because by the time it was near the end of her life, she was in a full state of schizophrenia mania like she was gone she thought donald trump was in her light she thought people were coming into her house and stealing her clothes and um how old was she i don't even know i think like 54 Yeah. And how long had it been since you guys communicated from that last moment to her death? So she died in 2017. And I think it was about six years since we had spoken.

But I did. I tried to get a hold of her and I couldn't. And I think that was the universe or whatever kind of standing in the way. Because I think if I had gotten a hold of her, you know, as long as she kind of had the life to suck out of somebody, it would keep her alive. Yeah, fucking Frankenstein sitting right up. She was like a witch.

She was just like, you know. So I couldn't get a hold of her. And then three days before my wedding, I was supposed to be leaving to go to Nicaragua for my wedding ceremony. And I the call and it was from my aunt and she said are you driving and i said yep and she said you need to pull over and i said who's dead is it mom or grandma because my grandma was she had blood cancer and she's like it's your mom and i was like how did she do it and she was like how did you know she killed herself michael is that really how she did and she killed herself, she shot herself in the head.

No! I did not think you were going to say that. Gang shit. That's fucking terrible. I thought you were going to say drugs or pills or something. I think she had tried a bunch of times before with pills. My sister told me that she tried once on Christmas with pills. Brittany.

And I didn't know because I wasn't around and my sister didn't tell me. I think my sister was trying to protect how crazy she was from me but um she shot herself yeah first of all did she have a gun yeah yeah she did okay so here's the other thing it's like she was texting people very threatening messages like she was texting my dad being like i'm gonna fucking kill you i have a gun watch out and i remember my ex-stepmom called the police and was like we're getting death threats and the cops came over and it was like the most Wisconsin interaction ever where they're like, you afraid of a woman? And my dad's like, I didn't call the police. He's like, I'm fucking strapped.

He's like, let her try. Are you afraid of women? I'm afraid of this one right here. This one I am. Yeah. But in that moment, her gun should have been taken away from her you know what i mean but the cop was like this is outside of my jurisdiction because i don't you know it's like because it's friday night i need to go i need a beer one pepperoni

pizza papa john's yeah that's why yeah so you know there was a few fumbles but i think ultimately everything happened the way it was supposed to she was not gonna find peace here she was a very very tormented person and who found her so my she had a boyfriend on and off for 18 years um i call him my stepdad just because it's easier but they never were married but she told him that she was going out of town and that he needed to watch her dog and so it's my belief that when he went to pick up the dog, if he would have went in the house, he would have noticed her suitcase was there, her purse was there, there was a bag of clothes to donate, and then there was a bag of clothes on the basement door that had his name on it.

And then she was in the basement. So he came to pick up the dog, didn't go in the house, just grabbed the dog. And then he didn't hear from her for a few days. So, he went back to the house. Do you think she'd already done it? Or do you know if she already had? Oh, we know because he didn't find her until like the 19th or 20th. I mean, sorry, when he went to get the dog, was she already gone?

Yeah, I think she was gone. I mean, sorry, when he went to get the dog, was she already gone? Yeah, I think she was gone. Because by the time he finally went in and found her, she killed herself November 9th, and she wasn't found until the 19th. Oh, wow. That's a long time. So, yeah, she was like late stage decomp, and I don't think that was her plan. I think it was her plan to be found a little more glamorous.

Yeah. Yeah. Man, i'm sorry that's rough how do you feel about that i feel like it was it's devastating i but i am so much closer not shocked i can tell you weren't shocked you even said how'd she do it you literally said how'd she do it shock wasn't an emotion there was a ton of relief because i also think i had been drinking at her for so many years where i was like stuck in this sort of cycle i've never heard that term before drinking at someone oh yeah i was really mad and i was like i'll show you an alcoholic you think i'm an alcohol i'll fucking show you an alcoholic and so the first thing i felt was

relief both for her because i knew that she would be able to be at peace now and then also for myself because i'm like i can stop drinking i don't have to keep doing this yeah you did yeah i've been sober since the day after her funeral wow right like just like that how long have you been drinking since i was 15 wow yeah so 15 to 28 and you just stop like that yeah that's great it wasn't easy but i did stop for fucking reason but it is it is good that you did. Oh, man. Yeah. And what was your dad's take on that?

Oh, my dad was devastated. On her death? Devastated. So we did go to Nicaragua to do the- Did they remain friendly at all? No. Okay. She was- My belief is that she still loved him very much, but she didn't know how to express love.

She was a very violent lover. So she would express love by saying, this is what you're doing wrong with your life. This is what you need to fix. And it's really interesting because in hindsight, I always just thought my mom was like this venomous cunt. And like now that she's gone and there's been some space, I'm like everything she said was right. Yeah.

It was just the way she delivered it. It's like that I was an alcoholic it's a big one it's a big one or like when i got tattoos you know i started getting tattoos and she's like you're gonna you're gonna by the time you're 30 you're gonna be removing those i'm in the middle of removing them right now like and i was just like fuck you but yeah no she everything everything she said was right she also just like really believed in me. And I think I didn't see it because she was so mean, but she was like, anything you want to do with your life, you can do. She's like, you just have to stop drinking. And I was like, that's an attack because I didn't want to stop drinking. So it's like I kind of dedicate my sobriety to her because I'm like, turns out she was right. And then you get married. How long after that?

Oh, the original question was how did my dad respond to this? That's right. I'm sorry. Thank you for bringing us back. Yeah, because you said they didn't remain close and they weren't really friendly. No, she was like very belligerent towards him. She 100% still loved him. But so we go to Nicaragua to have this wedding ceremony it's

very small it's like me and my closest friends my ex-husband his parents um my dad and stepmom at the time and then my sister and her husband and um my dad was the most sad of anyone he was it was just like this deep dark dark, unshakable sadness. And my ex-stepmom was pissed. I was going to ask. She was pissed. She's like, I fucking knew you still loved her. She's dead right now.

She's dead. She's dead. But then the best part was like on the reception night, my stepmom was trying to frog her across some stools to come say something to me. And the stool kicked out from under her and she hit her head on we thought she was gone like her eyes were rolling back in her head she looked like forest whitaker at the optometrist she was just like yeah so we thought she was gonna die too but no she was pissed she was pissed at my dad and my

dad was really really fucking sad but it's like of course he is the mother of his children. Yeah. I mean, it's also someone's lost a life. She's been sick for a long time. This is the lady I had kids with. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it was sad.

But yeah, so we got married. We had our little wedding ceremony. It was surprisingly amazing. It was really fun. I knew I was going to quit drinking after that. So I had a full send. Like my gay friends brought Molly. What do you mean you knew you was going to quit drinking after that, so I had a full send. My gay friends brought Molly. What do you mean you knew you were going to stop drinking after that?

You drank for your wedding? Yeah. I see. And then I knew shortly after my mom's funeral it was going to be done. So we found some Nicaraguan cocaine and did Molly. I drank a ton. It was so much fun. It was the best weekend ever. That's your wedding. But I so much fun. It was like the best weekend ever.

That's your wedding. But I'm just like, yeah, but that was the end, you know. And then sobriety was really tough work. What's the hardest part? You lose your best friend. For me, alcohol was my best friend. Was it? It was the alcohol that.

It got me through everything. It gave me confidence. I literally thought who I was was who i was when i was drinking that was my identity does that make sense like i was like i'm this confident sexy bad bitch and then i got sober and i just started crying a lot and i was like who the fuck is this person i'm crying in the fucking freezer section of the garage like you fucking pussy yeah no but

they say in sobriety when you are drinking and using it's like throwing everything in the back of a station wagon and then when you get like all your problems then when you get sober it's like slamming on the brakes everything comes forward that's a great that's a great analogy yeah that does make sense just Just shit coming everywhere. I mean, we had a tennis racket just hit me in the face. I was so fucking sad. I was like, I didn't even identify as depressed, but right now I am suicidal. So you feel like that made marriage difficult or just life in general or both?

marriage difficult or just life in general or both? I think I really give my ex-husband a lot of props for staying with me through that. How long were you together? We literally had just gotten married and then I got sober and I was a nightmare for the first. How long were you married? Six months. So we got married in LA in February at the courthouse. And then our ceremony or our party in Nicaragua was in November. So I got sober December 11th of 2017. But we had technically been married since February. Got it.

But still early. And I became a completely different person. Like he married this happy-go-lucky party girl. And then all of a sudden I was just like crying and ready to fucking die for like four months. And he was an angel. He was, it's so hard to watch somebody you love go through that range of emotions and feel those big feelings. And, you know, it's such a helpless feeling when somebody you love is suffering. And like we've reversed roles. Like there was times when he was suffering and I was witnessing, but I think just to, for him to hold space and not judge me and let me kind of have that moment of growth was, I would imagine very challenging,

but, but I'm really grateful that he did that for me. So how do you come to six months and say, all right, we're going to stop this? Stop what? The marriage. Wait, we're going to stop this? Stop what? The marriage. Wait, we didn't stop the marriage. That's what I'm saying. How long were you actually married completely together? Yeah.

So February to, what is February to December? Nine months. Nine months, yeah. Ten months. Yeah, but we didn't stop it. I got sober. We didn't stop the marriage. Right.

Well, we did. We're divorced now. That's what I'm saying. Okay, sorry. I see where we're arriving. We didn't stop the marriage. Well, we did. But you're divorced now. Right. That's what I'm saying. Okay. Sorry. I see what we're arriving. We're arriving at the divorce. The overall window.

But how long were you guys together? We were. Okay. Sorry. We were married for five years. Okay. Five years. Together for seven.

And the first six months you're saying was brutal. Hell. Got it. Yeah. All right. But then you do make it past that. Yeah. We do.

Okay. That's why I thought you were like, no, we called it at six months. And I was like, no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I misunderstood. Yeah. No. Okay. Yeah. No. We made it past that. Yeah, we do. That's why I thought you were like, no, we call it at six months. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I misunderstood. Yeah, no, we made it past that. And then like he had his moments and I had my moments. He ended up getting sober.

Oh, he was an alcoholic as well. Well, he doesn't, he won't identify as an alcoholic, but he's not drank for four years and his life is exponentially better than it ever was before. Is yours? 100%. Good. It's night and day. Like i look at pictures of myself when i used to drink and i'm like i look 10 years older than i do today is that right you really look at

a picture and be like i look older than today oh yeah i was showing my friend a picture of me in high school or in college the other day because this basketball player that i used to love got engaged and i was pissed and she's like wait show me a picture of you guys and and i'm telling you i look can i just show you right now yeah hang on a second she was like and this is how long ago i'm about to see this is in this is in college so like my sophomore year of college maybe oh yeah you yeah holy shit you do look way better no she's like you look atrocious in that picture i'm like thank you i can't even yeah wow that's from the drinking you say you think that's like what alcohol like bloat yeah alcohol yeah yeah. I mean, you don't look bad, but there's. And that's how many years ago?

Yeah. Fifteen. Fifteen. Yeah. Wow. So alcohol looks good out of you. Yeah. Yeah.

If nothing for vanity, I will stay sober. So then what happens in the marriage? Yeah. Why do you end up splitting after five years are you you don't have to talk no no it's okay it was it was a lot of things i think when i was in the marriage i felt very suffocated and i felt like you know comedy is a tricky gig and it felt like i was swimming against a current at home. Like he wanted to, um, he wanted me to be successful, but like, he also kind of did it. You know what I mean? He kind of, there kind of felt like there

was resistance and I just felt suffocated and there was a big, both of us were very codependent. So I had like completely forgotten who I was without him. And I didn't like that. I was like, I want to figure out who I am again. And I think too, like now that I've been out of the marriage for a year, I think when I left him, I very much was like, I need to figure myself out. I need space. I need this. I need that. Now that I've been out of the marriage and done like a lot of work on myself, I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that like I was raised in such a tumultuous environment and my mom was so chaotic. So I oftentimes think that love is chaos.

And the marriage was very peaceful and I didn't trust it. And I think on a core level, don't think I thought I was worthy of love. And so I tried to blow it up a million different ways in the beginning and it didn't work because he just loved me and he was just there for me. had to blow it up a million different ways in the beginning and it didn't work because he just loved me and he was just there for me and then ultimately I blew it up and I walked away because I just think I didn't think I deserved that love or that happiness and I think that that sucks to realize once you're gone you know what I mean but um I did have to leave in order to even do this work to see that that was a problem because i'm like I don't

Want to go through life being in relationships, even if they're healthy where I think on some core level i'm unlovable And then I just keep trying to test them and blow them up Because that's just hell, you know So The reason I left when I left and the reason I left now are different. Do you know what I mean? I do. Yeah. I thought it was one thing, but I realized it was something else.

And it's me. It's not him. I hear you. Like, that's the thing. It's 50-50, but it's more me. Is there a chance you two would ever get back together again? He has had another girlfriend since October of last year. So he's been in a relationship for a year now.

And I love him deeply. And we are very good friends. And I. Oh, you are? Very good. Oh, OK. So you communicate. Oh, yeah.

We still co-parent our dog. Oh, OK. And he's still one of my best friends. He can make me laugh like no one else. But I think I need to continue to do the work on myself and figure out like how to love myself. continue to do the work on myself and figure out like how to love myself because I don't like I went in as a broken machine and I think alcohol was like I didn't know who I was when I was drinking and alcohol in the beginning was like getting sober and going through that whole change was like really big for me and I think the change I'm going through now is also very big so it's

like I need to do more work on myself before I even entertain any relationship. Because when I got when I became single, I started dating right away again. And it was a fucking disaster. Like it was so bad because I just was used to being like in this codependent relationship. And I was used to like needing somebody to validate myself. And I realized I was like getting high off people. And like there was just like a ton of stuff that like made it very uncomfortable. So I'm like, before I get into another relationship, I have a lot of work I need to do on myself. And I asked you outside if you thought you would, or is that the last marriage? And you said, I don't want to ever say never. And I agree with that. So you're, you are open to it.

Yeah. I want partnership. I want to be in a relationship but you know i also want it to be mutually uplifting and i don't want it to be a ton of i think when we got into that relationship both of us had a ton of work we had to do and it felt like i was working on him and then i was working on myself and it just was so much work where it's like i feel like that's why i'm saying i need to like work on myself before i get into another relationship because I don't want to go into another relationship broken and being like please fix me are you my daddy you know what I mean like have that kind of that needy energy people can feel that um how's your dad been through all this he's been through separations he was incredible like when I first started feeling

like I wanted a divorce I was talking to him a lot and he was like listen like you know what you need he's like I'm not gonna say anything about Chris he's like I love Chris he's a fantastic man he's like but I will say being alone is better than being with the wrong person you know and I don't think Chris was necessarily the wrong person but I do agree that like I needed space and um my dad is like on the other side of his second divorce and he's the happiest he's ever been that's why i want to ask you so what happened with um ex-stepmom why so that night finally oh that night fight night no it was fight night he finally said that's enough he yeah it was like you know i think that sort of crazy fighting had been hiding in the shadows and we hadn't seen it,

but she brought it all out for the world. That's the first time you'd seen that? I had seen it because she did it to me behind closed doors. And then I would say to my dad, I'm like, she's doing this. And he's like, she does that. She'll corner you. And then like, she'll get you in a place where, you know, it's your word versus hers. And nobody's going to believe you if you are saying she's saying this crazy shit about you.

So, yeah, it was fight night and we had to leave the house and she got a knife and she tried to stab him get the fuck out of here and he had to take it out of this is your mom's funeral my grandma's funeral grandma's funeral also her funeral at the wake or whatever no we're back at my dad's house she grabbed the knife then after when we all left yeah no when we left the house we had to leave the house because she was going fucking crazy she was taking swings at me this is the recording yeah yeah she was taking swings at me swings oh yeah my ex-husband had to get in the way there was a point where she like flicked his hat off it was just she was just getting nasty so we had to get in the way. There was a point where she like flicked his hat off.

It was just, she was just getting nasty. So we had to leave. And when we left, she grabbed a knife and tried to stab my dad. And then she didn't remember anything. Like not a thing. So when he's like, I'm done. And she's like, I don't even remember it. Which if that's true, that's really dark.

Because it was like two hours. It was like two hours long of like insane rage and just trying to fucking kill me were you close with your grandmom who passed yeah i loved her very much she was the best what happened literally what happened to her oh she had um blood cancer so she was sick for years yeah yeah so she was sick and we knew she didn't have much longer and then i think the heartbreak on top i was gonna say she's got blood cancer and then she just buries her own kid was she able to make it out to the funeral and stuff yeah yeah i remember when we were putting my mom's urn in the crypt i guess it is my grandma was like i'm next

and i was like what she's like. And I was like, what? She's like, it's either me or Danny, which is her son. Either me or Danny. Danny parties. Danny had a brain aneurysm on my 10th birthday. So we're all surprised Danny is still kicking it. Okay. But he's the man.

I remember my father died when I was 16 and my grandmother, that's her son. She had to bury her son. And my grandfather had died, like he died the year I'm born, like 73. So he's already got the name and the start and expiration date on there. My grandmother's over here with the beginning and the TBD. Right, right, right. But then my father surprisingly dies. So what they end up doing is burying my father. I think they were, he was like 10 feet down and she's six.

They stack them. Right. Which I'd never heard of this until this. And I'm like, what? So my grandmother's. I mean, I, you know, when you're a kid, it's also like, look, that's my dad. And now that I'm a parent, I'm like, I fucking I wouldn't care how old my kid was. I'd be yelling at their kids, too.

Like, you shut the fuck up. And she's just going nuts. And she's just saying, I'm going to be buried on top of my son. So we go back to the house. I'm just like, how are you doing? And she's like, can I tell you something? I'm like, yeah. She goes, you want to know something that was really freaking me out?

And I go, by the way, when she saw my father laid out in the coffin, my grandmother grabbed that coffin and shook it so hard, she almost brought the whole thing down that the people had to go get her. You know, we're like, oh, my God. And she said, staring at that fucking empty space where her death date's going to be. That's what she was after her son's in there. She's just looking like, I'm next. Yeah, I'm fucking next. Isn't that crazy?

It is crazy. Yeah. We used to have a family death pool. Like who's going to die first? Yeah, we had so many people dying left and right, we would do a family death pool. And now I talk to my cousins and stuff. I'm like, yeah, we're on deck. You know what I mean?

You could start betting on us now. Yeah. You know what I mean? Damn. It's dark. So you and your dad now, he's loving loving life you're both divorcees yeah at the same time are you hanging out oh yeah i've spent more time with my dad in the last year than i have since i moved to california yeah i'm especially with like you know the tour my schedule is

whatever i want it to be and i don't have anything tethering me to la so i've been home like six times this year we're just hanging he out. He's still in Wisconsin. Yeah, we're just chilling. I love it. Good for you. Yeah. I'm very happy for you. Thank you.

You look healthy. Thank you. Yeah. All right, now I'm going to ask you, it's your first time here. I ask everybody their first time. After everything we've talked about, advice you would give to 16-year-old Brittany? Probably that everything is going to be okay and also maybe don't fuck so many guys you're getting ready you're getting ready to fuck maybe just like a few a lot was it a lot you're saying it's a lot a lot yeah like the high school

like you well high school yeah i pillaged i, high school, yeah, I pillaged. I pillaged. Your own? Did you go to rival schools? No, I went to rival schools. I didn't sleep with anyone in my high school except for the guy I lost my virginity to. And then it was all rival schools. And then the guys in my school got mad that I wasn't fucking them.

So they started a Facebook hate group against me called the Classic Hate Slut. Nuh-uh. CES. Did you have Facebook at your time in school? It had just. i was like probably the first group first shame group on facebook it's you and it was just a bunch of guys that wanted to fuck me who couldn't like just talking shit just talking mad shit and i was like sick yeah no no high school sure whatever that fun. College is where we really start.

Talk about burying bodies. Marquette. Yeah. Yeah. Well, all right. I'm glad you had some fun out there. The basketball team. I was the sixth man. Thank you for doing this.

Of course. I really appreciate you coming on. Thank you for having me. Please plug and promote everything one more time. Yeah. My website is britneyschmidt.com, and then you can find me at britneyschmidt on instagram and tiktok i'm on tour for five more weeks then i'm fucking retiring all right so tired i know i'm gonna take off yeah once i shoot this thing it's i need to take off yeah uh as always ryansickler.com ryansickler on all social media. We'll talk to you all next week.