The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Daniel Van Kirk - DVKDew

Episode Date: April 22, 2024

My HoneyDew this week is comedian Daniel Van Kirk (Rose Gold, Pen Pals) Daniel Van Kirk Highlights the Lowlights of a break up with an ex who suffered a mental breakdown. SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://youtube.com/@rsickler SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew What’s your story?? Submit at [e-mail] CATCH ME ON TOUR https://www.ryansickler.com/tour Toledo, OH | April 26th & 27th Los Angeles, CA | May 12th Miami, FL | June 7th & 8th Get Your HoneyDew Gear Today! https://shop.ryansickler.com/ Ringtones Are Available Now! https://www.apple.com/itunes/ http://ryansickler.com/ https://thehoneydewpodcast.com/ SUBSCRIBE TO THE CRABFEAST PODCAST https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-crabfeast-with-ryan-sickler-and-jay-larson/id1452403187 SPONSORS: Cozy Earth -Get up to 35% off site wide when you use code HONEYDEW at https://www.cozyearth.com DraftKings -Download the NEW DraftKings Pick Six app now using code HONEYDEW and take on the competition with your best NBA player picks!

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The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to the Honeydew y'all. We're over here doing it in the night pan studios. I'm Ryan Sickler, RyanSickler.com, Ryan Sickler on all your social media. I'm starting this episode like I start them all by saying thank you. Thank you for whatever you do to support me, whether it's stand up podcasts, all of it, whatever it is. Thank you very much. I genuinely appreciate it. We got a lot of new people over here on the channel with the way back going now.

So make sure you're subscribed. And if you got to have more honeydew, then you got to check out the Patreon. It grows every month. It's called the honeydew with you all. It's this podcast with you all. It's your show and it's the craziest stories you'll ever hear. All right. It's five bucks a month. That's it. All right. The way back, I mentioned it before having such a good time with that podcast. I really enjoy sitting there talking to people

about growing up and the fun times and stuff. So make sure you subscribe to that. It has its own audio feed, all that stuff. Get out there, rate it, review it, five star it, all that to help out. All right. Tour dates are up. I'm already into this thing. So go check out RyanSickler.com.

And if I'm in your town when you're around, come on out and see me y'all. All right, that's it. That's the biz. You guys know what we're doing. We're highlighting these low lights. I always say that these are the stories behind the storytellers and I am very excited to have this guest back on the honeydew Ladies and gentlemen, Daniel van Kirk. Welcome back to the honeydew DVK

Give all the cameras away give all three. Come on not one time host One time second guest. Yeah. Because you were the first. Yeah. And then one-time host. Yeah. Of the Honeydew. Yeah. I was your guest.

Only time. You did great. Oh, thank you, man. You did great. Before we get into this episode, please promote everything you would like to get out there. Right now, my special is out, Rose Gold. You can go to my YouTube channel, Daniel Van Kirk,

to go watch the Rose Gold special. Shot that in Chicago, the Lincoln Lodge. And- I hear it's a great place, I've never been to the Lincoln Lodge. You haven't done the Lincoln Lodge? Oh, it's great. So yeah, that just dropped, and you can watch it right now. Other than that, you can listen to Pen Pals,

podcasts I do with Roy Scovel. You can listen to Dump People Town, podcasts I do with the Sklar Brothers. And then this year I started my own thing called The Midnight Air, four nights a week. Just shit for people who are trying to go to sleep or don't sleep. It's an overnight podcast.

You ever wonder when people listen to this most? Yeah, it's funny. I meet people at the meet and greets I have great fans you all come out and tell me and it'll be like Like the husband's like I'm laying in bed next to my wife and he hates your fucking leg, you know She's right there like he loves it. I'm like, well, thanks for coming The classic I don't know you yeah Fuck you are either but I don't go to the job that is the lady. You know what I mean? No, I'm a fan know you. Yeah, I have no idea who you are. I don't know who the fuck you are either, but I don't go to your job and tell you. But every now and then it's the lady, you know what I mean?

Yeah, for sure. And it'll be like, no, I'm a fan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But truck drivers, used to be, I feel like all truck drivers back in the day. I just love, I've always loved overnight radio. Like late at night, there's not as many commercials, there's no traffic updates.

But you also gotta be up in that world, you know what I mean? Like I was, I was overnight at UPS, shout out to UPS Baltimore, primary one, Joe Avenue, but you're out with the cops. Right. The people making donuts. But what would you listen to, do you remember?

I mean, back then, I probably just listened to like- Show me love on repeat. 98 Rock or whatever my, show me love. You're in the overnight, we're listening to B-Sides. Show me, show me, you really there. Banger, banger. When's the last time you danced? When's the last time you danced?

Listen, bro, I don't dance. But there is a last time. So I'm gonna tell you. You know what I'm saying, the thing about you, you don't know when you stopped being a kid, but it was the last time you said, let's pretend and meant it, right? You just said you felt like, let's pretend.

If that's the case, if you don't mean in a public place where I'm at a prom or a wedding or anything. I mean, you were at a club. I dance around home all the time with my daughter. Of course, see, don't say that. No. Don't say that. I mean, you danced.

You were like, come on, let's dance. You danced with somebody. Man. You wanted to feel the heat with somebody. Mono, pino, hee! It's the heat with somebody. What's the last time you did? I'm thinking motherfucker. I'm thinking this is already demonetized. Believe that.

Let me think. I mean, I'm just going to say it would have to be a wedding or something like that. And I'm trying to think of what that was. I haven't been to any party. I don't club. I don't dance. We were, JFL a few years ago, we were at that after car, bro. Daily, daily. Shoulder head.

Oh, what? No, waist up. Just shoulder. But you, we were at an after party at JFL. We didn't dance. No. Some people dance that whole night. No.

Not dancing. I don't think we'd dance enough. No. Go out dancing. I'm not dancing. But I bet you'd have a a good time if you really could just not give a shit I'll tell you the anxieties I have in life. Oh god, how long are we going? Cuz we do mine this You rather host it again, bro. I know it's two quick dumb ones, but they just give me diarrhea

Anytime I'm in a situation where we have to go around a circle and say your name, your name and something about you, I fucking hate, I will get up in front of an arena of 10,000 people with less nerves than eight people where I gotta go, my name's Ryan. You know what? Just say whatever the person before you said. That's a good one. And when they go, what? Like, I know I'm freaking out right now. Next. I'm a male. I'm a male man too. That and wait, what's the, oh, dancing. I used to be, especially as a kid, man, I'd go to a

wedding or something. You watched the grind. They know dancing at funerals. You know what I'm saying? I was always comfortable at a funeral. That's why I really think it was like, you and I are too comfortable at funerals. We know how that goes. There's less dancing in a funeral. One less person. You know what I'm saying? Um, but man, when it was time to dance at the wedding and people come to the table, they come on. I'm like, nah, nah, I'll just go right here. I would go out. My friends at the bars, every blue moon, they just just come and I'd go to the dance clubby shit and I would just be the guy sitting on the stool the whole time being like, this is what you guys do. You come here, you stand, stand for four hours and drink beers and just try

to like rub up on some girl and take them home. They're like, yeah. I'm like, no, I'm not that far. I'm not that, I'm not interested in that. There was a video that went viral a couple of years ago of, you know, there's always that one guy at the concert who's just listen, I'm always rooting that person on. Yeah, I just not that person. Same way that guy would never probably do an hour of stand up. Of course. You know what I'm saying? This dude's dancing by himself. He's in his own world, right? And a couple of people came to start dancing with him and then a couple of people came and started dancing with him. And then a couple more.

And it became a whole huge thing. It was beautiful to like watch people like, oh, I'll go do that too. But he was just, I'm just gonna, he wasn't good. He just went where the music took him. I don't think we'd do that enough. I mean, I don't remember my last time. Start doing it, dude.

Let me know how it goes for you. Let me know, bro, cause I ain't over there tap dance. Yeah, right. You'd be like, could you imagine if you said that and I showed up one day and I can tap like a motherfucker. You're like, I didn't mean tap dance, bro. Like what? And you're like, shadow. You fucking drop it. That would be amazing. You end your next special. Just Amazing. You end your next special just

You guys are great. And then don't say another word. Never address it. You never address it. What was that like? I don't know. Magic. I can't with this back. Yeah, I'm gonna get there, though, bro. You're working on it? So let's talk about it here, because I back. Yeah, I'm gonna get there though, bro.

You're working on it? So let's talk about it here because I want to again, I want to give you your flowers to you. Daniel Van Kirk for all that stuff. Yeah, all that stuff. Yes. And go check out a special right now. Do.

Rose gold. Do. Yeah, do. I thought you were saying dude for a second. So this is the last time we even mention it. We're not going to harp on it all, but you were 100% there for me in the hospital the entire time. Multiple versions of me were there for you. Yeah. You told me we had some deep conversations. Yeah. And you would keep going, I don't know, Blake. We're going to save this shit.

After, but wait. but after I got out, one of the things I do remember is you telling me we had this deep conversation. I'm just staring blank at that. You look at me and you go, you don't remember any of this, do you? I think I don't remember any of it. But you said I was dialed in and I was in there like.

Yeah. You were. You go into him being like, we gotta talk about this on the podcast. And then you go, did you see that bird fly in here with a top hat on? Like, no. I've never been more fucked up in my life than that bed right there. When you woke up that one time. Oh, you're here. I go, I've been here for an hour.

It was like it was it's a it's, it's a definite chapter in our friendship. Proof is it? Thank God it ate the end of the book. Son of a bit. So I want to know this. I'm here. We're talking about life being bad. That's what we, that's what started talking about it. And you, I was like, dude, we all have these times like, I don't want everything to get better from this and I it I mean I talked about a breakup and you're like we gotta talk about that I talked about my first time living here in LA but the breakup was really something that it all leads into it just tell the story that at all. This is also my fear too, is I'm like, I don't know what we've shaded on on other crafties.

Still no three ways, still no three ways. Sorry to hear it from you. I think I've turned down at least one more sense. That is insane. I mean, unless it's not- I get afraid. I hear you. Let's talk about you and dancing.

You're like, I don't think I'm on move, right? That's it, I don't get off for three ways. I get off, you wanna dance? I'm like, I'm good think I'm on move. That's it. I don't get off for three ways. I get over, you want to dance? I'm like, I'm good with both y'all. I'm with you. I would. I do a bit about it in Rose gold about how I've never had one.

Anyway, so I moved out here, had a girlfriend before I moved. This is what you were telling me when I'm laying into bed. Okay. I just want to make sure. But to be fair, I could tell you, had a girlfriend before I moved. This is what you were telling me when I'm laying in the bed. Okay, I just want to make sure. But to be fair, I could tell you I told you anything. You're right. And I moved out here, I spent the first,

I was here two years, I spent the first two and a half years living on a couch. Did you ever have that time in your life? Yeah, oh yeah. When I first moved here, I lived on my buddy Kevin Schatz, Kevin and Rick, shout out to them. How long? Not a competition, but I'm curious. I think at least a month.

Okay. That's enough. Yeah. Four to five weeks. Yeah. But I was actively looking for my place and I got one. But also when my father died and my mother kicked us out, I bounced around to Eric Snyder. Shout out to them. Dude, I did. Shannon Patterson. I I did over a year.

I lived in different people's houses I would stay. I also lived in my car too, not lived in it, but I would sleep overnight in it. I'd just go to work and shower at the gym, but I would go to Shannon's house and see Sandy or I'd go to Eric's house. I lived with our buddy Roy Marks for a year. You did? I didn't know you live with him. Okay. Best business manager in the biz. Best business manager in the biz. I lived with, I was on his couch for a year and every day. Out here. Yes.

Sherman Oaks. Every day I would put that room back together like I didn't live there. That is, that like breaks you down. Listen, you're raised right. To not have anything. You're raised right though. Why? Because you value someone's stuff and you wanna keep a small footprint. You don't wanna be a problem. Yes, but that's also, I'm terrified of being told,

the fuck out of here. So like any reason I can give to not like, this is all working out, right? You don't even know I'm here. Right. Yeah. I do the jobs I had during that time. Background acting. What were you in? Oh man. Right. Yeah, I do the jobs I had during that time background acting What were you in? Oh

Man, we anything big Grey's Anatomy was the first one I ever did. Are you on camera? I think the second time first time you see my arm and then How I met your mother. Oh yeah? Yeah. Who's a featured background actor in that one. What's that mean? You walk? It's like, they make a reference to a person.

Like that guy over there. Oh, remember when he got arrested, those SEC agents came and arrested him, then they cut to me and another guy like carrying all these boxes out of the dude's office. Got it, you're a cutaway scene and you don't have lines? No. And that's featured. I guess. You're a cutaway scene and you don't have lines. No. And that's featured.

I guess. And then I died on ER. No. Yeah. How the fuck am I just hearing about you? Hold on. First of all, you should definitely not be telling me you died on anything while I'm dying in the hospital room.

I think we might have blocked this shit out. I think we might have. Get out! Get out. Wait, you really died? You were a patient who died on ER? So I get to the, it's the final season at ER. Which season is that?

Like 36? Yeah, yeah. And I get there and they got us all in a sound stage. It's empty, right? And so I walk up to the wrangler, the PA who's in charge of background. And I go, I check in, he's like, all right, cool. And I go, how's your day going? And he's like, good.

I mean, it's like six in the morning, Warner Brothers a lot, right? And he's like, fine. I go, cool, I'm Daniel, good to meet you. He's like, okay. I go, yep, just happy to be. I'm so bright-eyed about it, you know? So then I go sit down, about two minutes later, I'm like looking, I'm like looking around

and I see the guy, well I checked and he's like, like looking and so, you know, I'm hoping it's me. So I'm like, trying to catch his gaze. Yes. Yes. Just prairie dogging out dog. Yeah, yeah. Look at the lighthouse. You're looking for me, Keith?

Right. Right? Right here. Right here. So I was like, okay, and he looks over at me and he goes, and I'm like, oh yes, you know? And I woke up and he goes, you an actor? I go, yeah, he goes, you can act?

And I go, certainly I want to. I mean, doesn't everybody? He goes, no. He's right, everybody does it. Most of these people are here because they're like retired mental health issues or like want weed money. You're not, no.

And I was like, oh, okay, yeah. He goes, well, we had somebody who didn't show up. So you can like take directions if we got to like put you in the spot. And I'm like, yeah, a hundred percent. So I get bumped into this scene where I get brought in. Hold on. Pause for a second. That's all he said to you. Are you shitting yourself? Cause you don't know, right?

Of course I'm saying, Oh my God, George Clooney. Yeah, I'm going to. You're like, oh my God, I'm gonna be on it. It's ER, dude. Like, George Clooney's gonna save me out of a fucking storm drain. So, they put me in a bed and it's the whole scene that ER's famous for, like rushing someone through, I gotta, dah, dah, dah, dah, I need a blank on stat, dah, dah, dah, right? And they're fucking hitting me with the panels,

the defibrillator panels. This is the story you're telling me while I'm playing that. I didn't tell you this part. We skimmed this part. And I was like, my character had a back problem. Went in with a back problem. And so they say, I code out, I die. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do they ask you to move, are you doing any movements or are you just jelly? No, I'm just like going with it. Like I got nothing, you know, and all this stuff. Stamos, dude, Stamos is there. You take a small peek at all. Oh, they were like, they were like, hey, man, you gotta stop smiling.

I'm joking. Yeah. I'm like, you're getting $85 for this. And a walk away lunch. And you're back in the back of an apple with Doritos. $25 and a walk away lunch and We fed you Who was giving you the paddles it was the dude spoiler alert the dude who lost his arm with a helicopter He was the director Man, I don't think Stamos was giving me the panels. Have you met Stamos?

No. Every interaction I had with him was great. He was so pissed off because he had the, he had Laker tickets that night and they were not gonna make their day. Was Clooney hitting you with them? Hey Clooney wasn't there by then, dude. Listen, I have to say this.

I wanna pause for a second about Stamos. My daughter and her best friend right now are 100% in the full house and fuller house, like hardcore. And I had mentioned to them that I had Jodie Sweeten on the honeydew. I'm like, you did. And I'm like, I did. She was really sweet and awesome and such a great guest. And I want you on the way back as well, Jodie., the one girl, the little girl goes, have you met John Stamos? She is nine. And I go, no, I haven't met John Stamos. And then my daughter goes, she has a crush on John Stamos. And I'm like, what?

She's nine. She's a crush on uncle Jesse. Yeah. There's mercy. There's parents all around. There's an old lady, a grandma. And she just goes, John Stamos is ageless and timeless. I was like this nine to 89. That's what I said. He glows, dude. Stamos is generational. Yeah, yeah.

Art generation would be a big problem. Any interaction I had with him was great. God. So I don't remember who, somebody was trying to save me. I feel like it was a female doctor, whoever was in the cast then. So they shoot that first.

Well, this was like Monday. The next four days, there is everything else in the episode, the way they shot that episode. How long were you there that day doing that? Oh, that was all day. All day to do that. And then everything else,

the whole shooting of that episode was establishing me being in the hospital. So I think I was already there and then they didn't realize something was wrong with me. And then I coded out or whatever. So there was that. And then the grace anatomy, it's always sunny in Philadelphia. Damn dude.

I know I was just trying to do whatever I could. Those guys were great. Charlie day. Have you had him on here? He's awesome. Yeah. He was so, he was so nice. The people at Gray's Anatomy were great. Charlie Day, have you had him on here? He's awesome. I'd love to, yeah. Yeah, he was so nice. The people at Grey's Anatomy were nice.

Anyway, so I was doing background. I worked at El Torito Mexican restaurant for two weeks. That went horribly. Two weeks. No, dude. Why? Why two weeks? I'm a horrible server. I'm a horrible server. Did you ever try to do it? I believe that.

I believe that. Did you ever try to be a server? Never a server, no. My entire career, I would say my entire career as being a server, I was a good bartender, but I'm talking a server was just me constantly telling people I forgot their Diet Coke. I forgot your Diet Coke.

I was good at the sit down and the talk and then everything else. You should have been host. I was absolutely horrible at it. Yeah, I should have been host. And then I else, I was absolutely horrible at. Yeah, I should have been the host. And then I was a character escort at Universal, walking around with Shrek, telling people, like, don't hit Shrek.

Did I tell you this story? Mm-mm. The person- I mean, listen, if you did, I think 12 years ago. I know, but I don't even remember what we've talked about on other shows. Well, if this was in the hospital, you're good, bro.

I think that's never been told to me. The person who played Dora the Explorer. The voice? No, the character who walks around the park and takes pictures with kids. Oh, oh gotcha. It's like a 5 foot 2, 71 year old man. Yeah, I knew you were going to say man. Of course.

It really is. And so one day. Ask something about that, it's just creepy. And so one day, they have little that, it's just creepy. And so one day- Everything. They have little areas that they're supposed to go in. Well, they don't talk or anything. It's just all waves and all this shit, right?

And so Dora's got her little explorer bucket and all this stuff, right? And so they're supposed to stay in an area to do photos. Well, Dora just decides to go rogue in Universal and start walking around, right? And I'm like, Dora, where are we going? It's only one way conversation. Dora, I really think we got to get back. Dora. Dora ends up in like- Kenny! Kenny, get your hands back! Kenny Marcotti! So we go hustling quick with your headset on,

quick walk. Yeah. He's just walking through, just walking. Walking. Ends up in like a playground area that they have or had at Universal Studios. I don't remember, but it had a ball pit in there. Okay.

So all these kids are like playing in the balls. And then Dora, like to be fun, like fills up her bucket with little plastic balls, like walks around. And then some kid, right at that perfect age of like getting an arm, like 11, 12, maybe 13, starts whipping these balls at Dora. I mean, and I'm like, okay, hey, let's not, let's not throw things at Dora. Right. And then all of a sudden from another direction, Dora starts throwing these balls back at this kid. And I'm like, okay, hey, let's not, let's not throw things at Dora, right? And then all of a sudden from my other direction, Dora starts throwing these balls back at this kid.

I'm like, hey, let's not throw stuff at each other guys. I can just mentally see this big ass Dora huffing these balls like, boom, right? Then this kid, one last ball, boom, hits Dora, right? Like in a part of the head retell. I was like, hey, you know, didn't like that. Dora's out of balls. Dora takes the bucket, throws the bucket at the kid.

A bucket and a child. Where the handle meets the bucket, hits the kid, breaks off. Bullshit, dude. This is true story. Yes. I'm living on a couch. I don't have, I can't have, I can't be in any proximity of a major lawsuit at this time in my life.

With a senior citizen and a child. No, I'm fluffing throw pillows. That's my life. I'm dusting humbles over here trying to keep it together. I'm trying to get the uncooked part of the sausage warm. Oh, fucking God. Dude, I watched this bucket. What happened to the kid, though?

I watched this bucket. What happened? Boom. Hit this kid. The handle breaks off. I'm like, whoa, whoa. Right? I go, all right.

And the kid's like, that isn't right. And then other kids, that Dora threw a bucket. And I'm like. That Dora. The party wants to go, if you cut me in on this lawsuit, I will 100% side with you. Oh, god, dear. So now it's like getting Reagan in the car from Jodie Foster's boyfriend.

I'm like, go, go, go. We got to get out of here. We got to get out of here now, right? And that is a wrap. The parents coming in? No parents. A lot of people take their kids to theme parks and be like, you're here for the day. I'll come back and get you. out here now, right? And, that is a right, that is a right. The parents coming in or? No parents. A lot of people take their kids to theme parks

and be like, you're here for the day. I'll come back and get you. Especially around 12, 13. They just dump them off? City kid 12, 13. They dump them off. Yes. And what, like, this is just a big play area?

They have water parks. I mean, they do this in Rochelle, Illinois too. We're like, we're 12, 13, or we're working in corn fields all day. So like, they just, it's summer. I can't deal with you. I'm sorry, I'm misunderstanding. I'm thinking you're saying that the parents

are leaving these kids in this little area and then they're going to the amusement park. You mean parents are pulling up and being like, we'll be back at six and get you. Yes. Got it. You know that. My bad, yes. You probably lived somewhere.

I thought you meant they were like, fuck you kids, we're going on a good ride. You all can go over here in the ball pit. So then the kid is like, that is my not. You know, and so I'm like, I have to radio for like a park ambassador to come over and do we had to stay there because they had to do like their statement, whatever. Dora's never taken off the door is like. No, yes.

So I'm like interpreting and I'm like, I'm like and like, Dora's like trying to tell me to like, shut the fuck up. No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dora. So then, the kid ends up accepting, cause we're still all there,

the kid ends up accepting like free passes to come back the next day and sign, you know, and I'm like. They just bamboozled that little kid. Yamana money, you got hit, period. But you got hit in the head. The head with a bucket. This is, you're set for life.

I would have pulled that kid aside and told your parents about this, tell them everything. Tell everybody. Tell everybody. Oh everybody. Tell me. Here's KTLA. KTLA. Local news. Oh, that is great. So that like that's you said there was a Shrek one. Don't hit Shrek. Oh, yeah, because it all like Shrek.

Of course. Yeah, he's huge. He's an ogre. You can, he can take it, you know? So I did that job. Everything was, it was a crazy time in my life. I got like a month before I moved back. I know, I'll say it after this. No, I'm just thinking about it all, it's ridiculous. I'm on Sunset Boulevard and I had a fitting

for this time of my life. I had a 2000 Pontiac Grand Am GT, four door, right? And I'm on Sunset Boulevard and I look down at my radio and the person in front of me in a Range Rover just stops. No reason. There's no, you know, there's, there's areas of sunset Boulevard people don't know where it feels like it's a quarter mile without a light. And so I'm driving, I run into the back of this person and I'm like, fuck. And I get out and I'm like, I don't, you know, that thing where you're like,

I don't see anything. Does it look fine to me? He's like, I, I'm going to have it checked out. So then I spend the next three months, I mean, it was longer, but being like waiting every day for this phone call just never came. But you know that feeling of like this one thing,

it's over for me. You make me pay for this or I got a call and sure, like I'm done, dude. But the result of that was, is it broke the latch on my hood. And so I had to actually bent the hood. So I had to go to the junkyard in North Hollywood, pick out a new Pontiac Grand Am hood, like it was just silver. So that part was easy, but I could never get to the latch.

So then I drove around with ties, like rope ties and like a zip ties to like hold it down. And if I went over 55 miles per hour, the hood would start going up. Well, you stay local. We're fine. That's the car. So I ended up, I'm dating this girl and I love her and she loves me. And, you know, I'm like, I'm just, it's like, do I want to keep trying to do this? And not really feel

like I have really a partner like anybody, you know, and I think I was like, one foot in Chicago, one foot out. And I just was like, I think I'd rather have to try harder and have something, like have a partner be with somebody and have like a be closer to family in Chicago. Then like, keep doing this. God bless Roy, but his whole, you know, he was getting married, his life, or he just got married. His life was like going in other direction, all this other stuff. So I moved back and I, it was like Christmas stuff. So I moved back and it was like Christmas 2009.

So I drive back. I do not recommend you or anyone drive a Pontiac Grand Am anywhere. Don't drive it across the country with a hood that can't go above 55 miles per hour and no heat. That's, you want to talk about low light? Yeah, man.

I slept in a Walmart parking lot halfway there, like in Albuquerque. And then I drove 27 hours straight for love and to just be like, get it over with. And I, I, I, you know, you get to that point when you, when you're like, remember when you don't have a car you trust and you're like, it's running right now. We just got to keep going. You're like, some people leave their we just got to keep going you'll like some people leave their car running when they run into a place out of convenience other people do it because they're like i don't want to have to try and restart it yeah because my car now that i remember also did do a thing to where if it didn't start it had to sit for 15 minutes and

then start again it was some mechanism in the steer excuse me steering column or something like that and so I just drove, I remember being like an hour and a half from Rochelle starting to like hallucinate, like see, like I'm like, I'm not gonna wreck this car two days, three days before Christmas, an hour from home. And so I get home and now I'm back in Chicago and I moved back in with the girl that I'd shortly

lived with before I moved out here and I'd been busting my ass trying to do it. I get a temp job at a collections agency. I know. Why feel worse? Seriously? Why feel worse? And no, you ain't getting that shit. I, well, that's the thing.

What's your job as a collection agent? What do you do? No, like that's like, that's the only good part is they have it split up into two. There's like all the administrative offices size and then the right side is just like your huge bullpen of like people calling asking for money. And so I was just there to do filing, but I was like always wondering if someone on the other side of that wall was calling me at the same time.

And then I get a job at Second City as like a usher, which I love and like really put me on the track to you and I even knowing each other. Yeah, Second City. But at the same time, that was also like, I'm making nachos. Wish and I was on stage with Sam Richardson and Tim Robinson and Mary Sohn and Brad Morris, right?

People that are just amazing comedy people working today. And so I'm living with this girl and this gets into it. So now you've seen it, this is the setup, right? I left, love, kept the love, wanted it to work, not doing everything I could, but doing what I could to keep both things going. I said, I'm gonna go for it. So I go back to Chicago.

And I remember like, man, three, four weeks after being back, that she was like, Man, three, four weeks after being back, that she was like, are you, you get like a real job? And I'm like, man, two years I was in LA, you never asked me that question. And now I'm back here and I feel like you are, you know? So I'm like, okay, things just didn't feel great.

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Voidware prohibited. See terms at pick6.draftkings.com. Now let's get back to the do. Cut to like, man, six months of me being back and I'm doing both jobs, right? I'm getting up at five, five 30 in the morning to take the train out to the north, essentially Western suburbs of Chicago,

work at this collection agency all day, then take the train back into the city, then take a bus down towards the lake where Second City is, and then work there at night. And then come home, I got about, get home about 11 midnight, you got about five hours, you gotta be up and do it again.

So I'm doing that. And one night, I go to bed, it's about three in the morning. And I just hear, get up. And I'm like, what? She's like, get up. I go, okay, lights are on. She tells me that,

she tells me that, because what I was currently doing at the time was I was trying to do a short film out here in LA still and so I was doing like a Kickstarter and she tells me that I downloaded a virus onto her computer to steal money from her mom and that the guy I said the cousin of mine that I said, who donated that money wasn't real. And so instantly, dude, she's met this cousin instantly.

You're imagine trying to be like, hold on. What? Like you're trying to wrap your head around what you're being told. Right. And then also be like, what is happening here? Are you sleep talking? Like what the fuck's going on? Right? Yeah. And then I'm like, you, she's like, there's a file on my computer that I can't open. And I think you put it on there and every time I open, it looks like this and it's all just like wing ding, you

know? And I'm like, what are you talking about? How would this even make sense? So then I show her, I was like, this is a, you're on a MacBook, this is a Microsoft file. It can't read it. And dude, it was like, it was like, no. And I'm like, okay. And I'm like trying to figure out like,

what the fuck is going on? Now, she had expressed that she wanted to get married and I was not in a position to get married I think even just financially maybe some of me like knew it, you know, and then We go to bed somehow and everything's like Chill, but I'm still like trying to figure out like, what the fuck just happened? So then I get up, I go to the Alexis agency,

she calls me like at noon and she's like, I just don't believe you, I don't believe you. I'm like, what are you talking about? And then I'm thinking, I just moved back here. This was supposed to be how my life was gonna get better, like grounded, we'll figure everything out. I definitely know what I wanna do with my life. I really haven't made any headway on that,

but I'm doing what I can to try and keep everything going and to keep everybody happy, right? So then she's like, well, let's like, I don't want to, I don't, something like, I don't think you're at work right now. I'm like, what? Now, before I say, because you and I are gonna make as many jokes as we want,

I'm very sensitive to mental health issues. It is my belief, allegedly, that she was having like a mental breakdown on some level, right? People she's met aren't real. I'm trying to steal from her. I don't think you're at work right now. I'm like, well, where do I go every day?

So then I like talked to her the other day, everything like seems okay. I'm like, well, let's just talk when I get home, when we both get home, because she had work stuff too. So I get home and things are like pretty normal, like they're kind of okay. And then it starts in of her being like, I'm gonna just look at that photo.

You could have taken this when you're living in LA. I was like, with these clothes on? Like with this beard? Like, why would, how would I even, like what are you talking about? And then she gets to a place where, like I was upset, like I'm emotional, like I'm crying about it. And she's like, you're an actor. You could be

making this up. I'm a background. You want me to walk through that kitchen? You got it. I'll die for you right here. Yes. Get Stamos in here. He'll vouch. And so she's like, and at that point, Ry, I was like, I'm just gonna agree. I'm like, I was like, yeah, okay, I hear you. We sorta get it to like a lucid point, right?

And I'm like, hey, like we're in it together, you know? She's like, I know. I'm like, Hey, like, we're worth we're in it together, you know, just like I know, I'm like, Okay, good. Like, we'll get it sorted out. I go, but I do want to like, ask you like, something, something made you create a scenario where if it was true, we would definitely break up. So where's that coming from? Is that a build up of not dealing with the emotion? So eventually it finds its own way out in a way that isn't healthy.

It's a good point you make to say like all these accusations and then not to have any action on them to be like, I'm out of here. I know you're stealing from me. I'm out. It's just all these. Right. But then also to like, if I did make up a family member and put a thing on your computer to steal money from your mother for the purposes of gating money for my Kickstarter campaign, for a movie short film, even right. That I'm only background in I'm joking. That would be done. So where's that energy coming from?

But I eventually was like, okay, you know, like we're good. Yes, we're good. Very feeling like for the first time in 16 hours, 17, 18 hours that I was like talking to the person I went to bed with the night before. Cause when I went to bed on that, that was a, I think like a Sunday night. person I went to bed with the night before. Cause when I went to bed on that, that was a, I think like a Sunday night. When I went to bed on that Sunday night,

I went to bed being like, this is good work. I mean, it's hard right now, right? Like she's got a good job. She works hard. This is, you know, her condo, but we're together. We got a future. And then I'm like, all right, well, let's go to bed. So we go to bed, three o'clock in the morning,

get up again. And I'm like, okay. Now, at least at this time, I'm like, take two. Like, I know how, you know, I go, okay. And she's like, I just have been up. Is it weird to me, when I think about the amount of time that she was on her phone trying, or on her computer trying to find where this virus was,

and then the next time when she was like, I've been up, I don't wanna get morbid or gross or whatever. But when you're asleep thinking that someone else has been up for a while in a completely different headspace, that creeps me out. Does that make sense? Yeah. Well, you couldn't be more vulnerable. Right.

But I say it all the time. No matter if you're the rock, if you're asleep, somebody's gonna put a knife in your neck. It's over. Samson did. Hair, right? It's over. Yeah. And I was, and I, so it's like that part bothers me because it's fine to be sleeping next to somebody you completely trust. You feel comfortable around sleepovers, whatever, right?

But yeah, to be like, oh wait, how long was I asleep when you were not in here really? So she's like, get up. And she's like, get up. And she's like, get out. I go, where do you, it's like five in the morning. By this time, you know, 4.30. She's like, I don't care, but you gotta go. And I was like. But not saying why?

Oh, everything, you're a liar. I realize everything about you. This is all fake. I'm like, what is fake? Like also tell me this last year, right? So I'm like, let's call your mom. Let's get your mom on the phone here. And thankfully her mom was just like,

okay, you can't make like, he can't, he lives there. And thankfully to her, she was like assessing correctly that I didn't do anything that would, you know, we all have things in our life where we're like, get the fuck out, I don't care. Based on what you just did, get the fuck out. So she was like, he has to, cause I was, she was like, give him his key.

Oh, she had already taken my keys off my key. You know, she like give him his keys back. And I'm like, hey, I'll do whatever you want, but I have to have some time here to do those things. So then I get my keys and I'm like, man, what am I gonna come back to? And I get to the corrections, whatever, to whatever they are, the collection agency.

The collections. Yeah, collection agency. And I get back there and then at like one o'clock, and we've been together years at this point, I get back there and then at like one o'clock, and we've been together years at this point, at like one o'clock, she like calls me up. And you've never, ever seen anything like this from her. You know it's weird, right? Because you go back and stuff like that in your life.

Yeah, when you go back and play it, you see anything that you were like, huh. Well, this is sort of a trope, I think, in relationships. And more often than not, it's attributed to men not paying attention or not listening or remembering or whatever. But there were times where I was like, I did not tell you that.

Like, she's like, you were supposed to be back on whatever day for traveling or whatever. And I was like, no, I never said that. And I would just chalk it up to agree to disagree. But then when later on, when I was like, no, I never said that. And I would just like chalk it up to like agree to disagree. But then when later on, when you're like, oh, that never happened. It's like, how much of this was like a leak? And now it's like a waterfall.

It's like the dam broke on this. Like what's real, what, who said, actually who said what? What is really happening here? And so she calls me up and she's like, I just want to tell you, I'm so sorry. I go, it's okay. I love this woman. I'm like, it's okay.

I go, and dude, I'm like, I moved back here. Yes, it sucked. It was horrible. Like I was trying to do what I want to do. This is what I came back from. I'm busting my ass. Like just to go back to it, dude, the low lights of just a time in your life

where you're like, I don't don't have anything You know at this point Because of leaving Chicago and then the couch and like Like yes, we lived there together, but I hadn't had a bed that I owned at this point in Three and a half years three years, right? So you just had a place where you're just very no, you just don't feel like you really landed anywhere.

I feel like I just came back here. And so she's like, I'm really sorry. And I was like, it's okay, we'll figure it out. Like, hey, whatever is going on, like I think we can figure it out. She's like, thank you I just appreciate you for loving me and I was like, yes, you got it and Then at four o'clock in the afternoon I get a text and I was to go to second city that night you get there So early, I'm about done with the

collections agency She's like we're done. Don't ever come back here. I don't even wanna see you again. But never like just those are the texts, not like this is what you did or. I mean, no, because I think she had wrapped around it that there wasn't really anything to grab onto for that. Right?

So then I was like, do you really want to like, end all this just like with a text? And she's like, well, I'm at my sister's. If you want, I can like say it to you on the phone, but it's going to be the same thing. And I was like, okay. So then I call second city, I go, I'm sorry, I can't come in.

I got like a family emergency and they were like, that's fine. And then I remember I got on a bus. I got off the bus early on Irving Park Boulevard and I went into a Walgreens and I bought the biggest box of garbage bags you could find. I go back to the place we lived

and I just put everything in garbage bags and one by one I take it down to My Pontiac Grand Am that I barely drive anymore because you're living in Chicago. I don't even know if it's gonna fucking start right and I'm probably like everything I own now is One in garbage bags and two in a Pontiac Grand Am. Yeah, mine all fit in a 1990 Honda Civic with original rim. Right. My whole everything was like trash bags.

It's a weird feeling, right? It teaches you just how- It's a weird feeling, because if you get in a car crash, it also goes everything. You're done. Your car, all your- Yeah, and I'm not going down the street of driving across the fucking country,

you know, days on the road. Right the street of driving across the fucking country, you know, days on the road. Right. Right. It's these people that are like, hey, you see Marie Kondo? I'm like, Marie Kondo, just be poor. Yeah. Be poor.

You'll be like, does this bring me joy? Yes or no? Oh, I can't. Does it matter? So I'm putting everything, I must have been on like the last load of stuff and the phone rings. And she calls me up and I'm like, hello. And she goes, can you come over here? So we're like back again now, right?

And I go, no. And she's like, just come over here so we can like talk and like figure this out. And I go, I can't do that. Because by the time I get there, I'm not even, this person on the phone right now isn't gonna, that. What the fuck's going on?

I mean, at the sake of like, Is she on medic, you're not the, it's medication, a new medication, like what the hell? And I mean this fully. I have no idea what's going on. She never went and got diagnosed. How would I know? You were out of there.

Nothing was ever told to me that before. And stuff like I... If that's... If... There's two scenarios, right? Before, you know, tell the end of it. But there's two scenarios. Either A, she had some sort of like manic episode and not to break. And I say that with sincerity and love and respect for the stuff that can do to a person. Or B, she's really shitty at breaking up.

It's one or the other. So I don't know which one it was and I don't want to disrespect anybody who has a mental health issue. But on the other hand like if you don't want to include me in helping you with it then it's it's not my fucking problem and it's only my fucking problem in so much as I have to take care of myself. So she was like I can't believe you won't come over here. And I go, I can't believe the last fucking two days. You're talking about can't believe.

And she was like, if you don't come over here or we're never gonna speak again. And I'm like, I'm pretty sure that's what's gonna happen anyway. Yeah. Right? Yeah. I said, okay, I'll tell you what. I'll drive over there. I will park outside.

I'll let you know when I'm there. If you really want us to talk, come down. And if you don't, I guess we'll know, right? So I drive over there in front of the building. I text and I go, hey, I'm outside. Nothing. No response. Couple minutes goes by, five minutes goes by. I go, I'm here if you want to talk, I'm downstairs.

Five minutes goes by. And now look, in hindsight, I'm like, why the fuck did I even drive there? But when you're in it and in the moment, you haven't fully wrapped your head around the trauma that you're currently going through. You also did it for you too, you know. Yes, but you went to bed two nights ago thinking,

this is the track I'm on with all the other uncertainty and craziness and shit that I've done and fucking Dora's violent outbreaks and all that shit, this is a path, a track I'm on, right? And I love her family and her family, or my family loves her and just like anything that you've been with somebody long enough to warrant that shit.

And so, yeah, there's a me that's like, fuck, fuck that. But then in the moment, you're like, you'll always give it five more minutes. You give it 10 more minutes. I think I'll be honest with you. I want to say five, I want to say 10, it's probably 20. I'll let 20 minutes go by. And I call. Hello? Oh, I know now I know this tone, right? I sat down downstairs, she goes, I don't care. And I go, okay. And she's like,

you don't, we have nothing to talk about. I go, that's what I said. And she's like, you didn't want to come up here. You don't care about this. I go, how much back and forth you want me to do? And then she goes, I don't care. Wait out there as long as you want. I'm not coming down. I said, all right.

So then I drove back out to Rochelle, Illinois. Now everything I own is in a Pontiac Grand Am. I do not live anywhere. I left what I was ever building or trying to do. I had started classes at Upright Citizens Brigade. I left those after the first level, those to come back to Illinois. And dude, that to me was the most,

what the fuck like what what is that the last time you ever spoke to her no no why did you get follow-up communication we're back together together. Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha!

Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! All these years later, huh? Come in, babe. Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha!

Ha ha! Ha ha! Oh, fuck. Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! No, dude.

That's exactly why I love this show. No, exactly. Why? I love this show. No, dude. She didn't continue to text me. I feel like you leaving would make someone not well. I think there was like maybe a day or two. There was a day or two of some sort of back and forth, maybe like also with her mom.

And then I think I reached a point where I was like, Hey, the, I don't know if I'm helping because at a certain point you go, like you were saying, possibility that there's a bigger issue here than me. Right. And my constant need of what the fuck is happening with us, although I think warranted, is included in that, which it should, is some sort of selfishness of like, what's happening to my life? Right. What are we doing? What about me?

And so I got to a point where I was like, in the next like two days after that, where I was like, I don't know that I'm helping whatever is going on here just in the space of what is good for her. And so I was like, I am going to remove myself. I will not be reaching out to you. I won't answer phone calls. If I get a text or a voicemail that obviously I need that I is obvious that I need to respond to, I'll do that. But I don't think I'm helping whatever is going on. And I think, I think I had known that she had gone back

to her hometown too. So I like, it was obvious that there was something that she needed help with, whether it was obvious that there was something that she needed help with, whether it was getting over how horribly she broke up with me or getting over whatever possible issue it seemed like she might be going through. And so, um, we didn't speak. I remember though, the night, the very next night I was in

Chicago back at second city, knowing I was gonna have to go back to Rochelle. And I was on the phone with my mom because I have to be honest with you, 100% honest with you. I think that like what we do for a living, right? We know what it feels like to not be able to like count on other people. I think that's why when you find like a true,

great friendship later in life, like we have, and like, and also in this position, in this profession, you're, we both know, especially from our upbringing and loss and stuff, things change, people go away. My favorite movie of all time is Stand By Me. One of my favorite lines from that movie is people come in and out of your life like bus boys in a restaurant, right? They serve such good purpose for you for what you needed

at that point. And that's why I was a bus boy and you were a fucking server. That diet coke. But I think that's why we're so grateful for every time we do see each other or do get together to be like, yeah, I have this friendship, right?

Because you just know things can like go away and stuff like that. But the one thing that I think we have and you sort of have to have to do this is you can kind of, you feel like you can always bet on yourself. If you can get me in the room, if you can get me on the stage, if you can get me on the stage, if you can

get me on this side of the camera, I believe in me, right? And so... See, I feel that way outside of entertainment. That's interesting. Says a guy who built all this himself because he bet on himself. Well, that's what I'm saying. I'm just saying that in my life of 50 some years, the one person I know that I can truly count on and get shit done out of all, including family and everybody is me. Of course. That's my point. So there's a certain level of even when it's shitty.

I'm saying I don't apply that necessarily to entertainment. I'm saying like- Why though? That's why it's worked out for you. Your endeavor in entertainment, I'm saying like- Why though? That's why it's worked out for you. Oh. Your endeavor in entertainment, the only thing you've ever known you can believe in is you. I'm just saying. Just in life, yeah. I think we're saying the same thing, different ways. That you, the belief of like, oh, I'll wait around for somebody to tell me this idea of a podcast called The Honeydew and then they'll set up this studio and you were like, no, I don't believe in that. Well, also these days of let's go pitch it to executives who don't get it and make a sizzle Rio and a

pitch deck and eight months of that. And then five months of lawyers throwing ridiculous figures and numbers and then it's all BS. They all get promoted and they leave. It never happened. Right. However, but if I still had to go through that system, you still had to go through that system. you still had to go through that system, who else would you put in the room other than you? Nobody. Nobody. Exactly.

So even within that shit, there's the one optimism you carry around, unless you're super lucky or blissfully dumb or both, the one optimism is you, me. So even in leaving that day, driving away, after being told, if you don't come up here, I'm not coming down there, all that, I did have a part of me that's like,

well, I can do anything. Everything else is gone. What do I want to do? Do I wanna go back to LA? Do I really fucking think that I'm funny? That I can act? That I am worth people spending $40 on an Uber, $200 on a babysitter, getting out of work early, having drinks with friends, sitting down at a fucking show and saying, can you please make me not think about this part-time job I have at a collection agency for an hour? Am I worth that? So the second day, I remember being at second city, I called my mom on my break.

You know, she's reeling like, hi, what the, you know? And I said to her, I go, mom, I do believe, and I'm in trauma at this time that that went on for years and years. That I am like, I said to her mom, whatever I'm gonna move back to LA and whatever success, happiness, peace that I achieve in my life because of what I do from now on, even though it's fucked up, is gonna be credited to the fact

that this relationship ended. I knew that then. Those two things, we talked about this when you were in the hospital. I remember. This one I remember. I remember that face on the side of your head told me. Logical and emotional, right?

I logically think that, that I'm gonna, I can now only, it's all me, I bet on me, anything I achieve emotionally, one can now only, it's all me, I bet on me, anything I achieve, emotionally, one does not negate the other. I still am like gutted on the floor. Yeah, yeah, of course. Holding my fucking insides in as best I can. So it was probably, you know, I had an amazing cousin,

shout out Sally and her husband, John. Sally was engaged and she was like, I've already moved in to John's place. My apartment's paid for. It was like two blocks north of second city. She was like, just stay there. Like that is, gave me somewhere to be, you know? And then her parents, my aunt and uncle were like,

come, we live on the South Loop, Chicago. Come live with us. That saved me. And then Joe Rice, Joe Rice guy went to high school with, saw at a bar, Casey's across the street from Wrigley Field, ran into each other, hadn't seen each other in years. And he was like, dude, I got an extra room to live here. I lived with him until I moved back to LA.

Joe Rice is one of the best fucking dudes I've ever known in my life. That's great. Joe Rice bought my pinball machine back, brought my pinball machine from me, my Chicago Cubs pinball machine that I bought for $300 at a garage sale I had to sell it to have money to move back to LA he sold it back to me three years ago for the same amount of money

I paid oh yeah yeah great dude so it was probably a month or so after in my rush to leave. Sorry. I mean, I don't care if you got two weeks to move out of a place willingly and happily, you're gonna forget the shower curtain, right? You forget something. I left stuff there and I think somehow or another,

I might've grabbed some of those, I don't really remember. And dude, when I tell you, I had one good conversation before I saw her again and I was talking to my buddy Paul and he was like, you probably will never get back together. And I was like, I don't think we can. And he was like, no, you'll never be able to get back together with the girl you dated, period. Even if you guys got back together.

Because she now is a person who did that to you. And I'm not saying people can't find new love, but the person you dated is gone. Because you dated somebody when you fell asleep on Sunday night that had never woken you up in the middle of the night and accused you of all this shit and put you of all this straight and put you through all this stuff.

That is, you would now be dating a new person that you have to factor that stuff into. So you will never get back together with... If you want to get back to who you missed, the older, it's gone. That's why it's old. It's void. It's been deleted, right? it's old. It's it's it's it's it's void. It's been deleted.

Right. So that's when I when we saw each other on this sidewalk in Old Town in Chicago. Man, it was emotional, like super emotional. But the weird thing is, I don't think much of this context matters except for this weird occurrence. So this all followed the weekend after her, a family member of hers, bachelorette party. And so I think that some of it was spurned on by the like, this person's getting married, when am I getting married? I don't know.

All that's alleged and made up. Okay. when am I getting married? I don't know, all that's alleged and made up, okay? Then in between that weekend and the wedding was my guys' weekend that I do every year with all the guys I grew up with up in my cabin. That was in between. And in between that bachelorette weekend and the guys' weekend was when we broke up. Got it.

So now we have now gotten together a month later. It's after, obviously after the bachelor weekend, it's after the guys weekend, it's after the wedding I was supposed to go to with her. And she says to me, she's like, you know, you just did things in our relationship that were just like really selfish and rude. And mind you, not that I need to tell you, brother, I'm not a saint. I'm not a perfect person. Anybody who's ever dated anyone, as long as it ended, even if it doesn't end, could list shit that that person does that's negative. Yeah. Okay.

And drives them though. Of course. She, she was like, you wanted to borrow my camera And she was like, you wanted to borrow my camera for your guy's weekend. And I was like, yeah, I know. And she's like, I needed that for the wedding. And I go, we would have been at the wedding together. Right, I complete in her retroactive of like,

here's what went down here, which is what I fully believe. I don't know that she's ever fully been able to like, understand or have, for lack of a better way of putting it, full knowledge of what happened in those days. Cause I know firsthand it was, I was catching someone who was like coming in and out of a hallway, right?

But she had worked in her mind like, yeah, that's a bad thing about him. He wanted to borrow my camera and I needed that camera. Bro, I had a friend of mine who's ex, she developed a video game addiction, also a fucking pill addiction. Just so you know, I think the order goes a little different. I don't know.

And she, one of the reasons she said she wanted to leave him was because he would leave his shoes in the hallway. You know what I'm saying? He's like, you could have just told me that in the beginning I would have moved to fucking shoes. You know what I mean? I would have moved my shoes. It doesn't really, that bucket doesn't hold water.

You never said that to me though. Doris bucket doesn't hold water. Yeah, it fucking got blood in it. When I tell you, Ry, that I said to her, that doesn't make sense because even if I borrowed your camera, we would have been together for the wedding and obviously I would have brought your camera with me back to, what?

I've never seen anybody do this in my life. She went like this. It was like she deleted what I just said, because it didn't work with the narrative, right? And then she was like, you know, I had a really good job. I had the condo you, you were part time at this job and part time at this job. And like, I deserve to be with somebody where it's like they're pulling as much weight as me. And I go, sure you do. But also we had thought we were gonna get married.

So just so you know, I was back here six months. You're telling me your timeline, the leash that you have on one of us going through a downturn in our lives is six months. We should have, good thing we didn't get married. Six months? on one of us going through a downturn in our lives is six months. Yeah. We should have, good thing we didn't get married. Yeah. Six months?

Yeah. Again, that was like, you're missing the point. And I go, I don't think this knife has one. Mm-hmm. And when it was like that, the like, excuse me, when it was the like, when it was the almost deleting what I just said, cause it didn't fit with what she had told herself,

which also made me feel like whatever was going on we're either ignoring or didn't deal with or both. I was like, oh fuck, you are gone. Like they're, they're, you know? And I saw her one more time right before I moved back to LA. And it was very sort of perfunctory. It was very sort of like surface, you know, I have to acknowledge the respect at least of like, I'm going to bring you your stuff. Cause the person a month earlier would have been like, I will leave your stuff.

I burned it. Sure. And I have to respect the light of, yeah, it'd be good to like see you and say goodbye before you move back to LA. But it'll always like eat at me that there are two versions of what happened there and one is the one I experienced. And then one is the one that she tells herself. And also the other person she was before that.

But who, what would that person do? Where is she? And I like, I think you and I, one of the reasons we're friends too is like, we've dealt with shit, we've been through shit, we'll go through shit. I don't mean to go just even individually, but we don't live in a negative place, right?

It's what's amazing about this show so much is that like, yeah, we'll talk about all this stuff, and yes, people have gotten emotional, and I think I've gotten emotional, we've certainly got emotional just talking to each other, but we don't dwell there. No, I'll live in it. That might be a pit stop, but it don't, we don't dwell there. No, we don't go, we don't, that might be a pit stop,

but it is not the destination. And so it, it's, it just bombs. It just bums me out that there will just never be a like, you know what happened here though, right? Like, you know, it's okay. And, and I, I've learned that in therapy too. There's no, it doesn't matter. There's no magic sentence you're going to say to someone. There's no, it doesn't matter. There's no magic sentence you're gonna say to someone. There's no word you're gonna string together in a way where if they finally go, oh my God, I totally understand what you're saying. That's just what mental illness is.

Sure, but super stoked for you guys back together. Dude, did you get to save the date? I did. I did, I'll be there. He keeps changing. I'll be there, I'll bet it does. I'll bet. Oh! Back together, dude. Did you get to save the date? I did Do thank you for coming on and doing this episode man plug everything again, please your special Wonderful this is I'm representing Wisconsin right now. I talk about Wisconsin in there It's a whole bunch of fun stuff. Where can they see it? On your YouTube? Go to YouTube, shot at the Lincoln Lodge in Chicago, Illinois.

It dropped on April 17th. It's wonderful, I'm proud of it. It's my second. It's my second. Good for you. You always have a thing, you know, you do your first hour and people always say with books, like you have your first life to write your whole book.

Let me read your second. And I love this second. I'm already, I mean, go to everything for danielvancouric.com for new dates and stuff like that. I'll be, I'm in Green Lake, Wisconsin on May 18th, that Friday. Okay. So, and you and I have a show coming up together.

Yeah, we'll be in Netflix as a joke. Yeah. Sunday, May 12th at the bourbon room right here in LA. Get your tickets at ride. And then listen to Midnight Air. Listen, when you're not listening to this, make this your drive, make this your commute. You wanna throw something on that's meant to be listened

to late at night. They're just half hour Monday through Friday, or Monday through Thursday. And it's just good, easy listening shit. It's me. Sometimes there's people on there as well, but usually it's just me. All right. Yeah.

Well, thank you, brother. I love you. Thanks, dude. Thanks, man. As always, Ryan Sickler on all your social media, ryan sickler.com. We'll talk to y'all next week. you