The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Dave Stone - HoneyStone

Episode Date: May 22, 2023

My HoneyDew this week is comedian, Dave Stone! (Pack a Lunch, The Boogie Man) Dave Highlights the Lowlights of his time as a police officer, accepting a bribe, and facing years in prison. SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://youtube.com/@rsickler SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew What’s your story?? Submit at [e-mail] CATCH ME ON TOUR https://www.ryansickler.com/tour May 26 & 27: Fort Wayne, IN June 23 & 24: Tacoma, WA July 7 & 8: Appleton, WI SUBSCRIBE to The HoneyDew Clips Channel http://bit.ly/ryansicklerclips SUBSCRIBE TO THE CRABFEAST PODCAST https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-crabfeast-with-ryan-sickler-and-jay-larson/id1452403187 SPONSORS: Dad Grass -Go to https://www.DadGrass.com/HONEYDEW for 20% off your first order

I get in, shut the door. Dude immediately makes a wrong turn out of the parking lot, and I am on his ass. I'm like, uh-uh. No, we know where we're going. We know where we're going. And he starts stuttering. He gets nervous.

He's like, I, uh, man, don't worry. I know a shortcut. Don't worry. I'm going to get you there in a jiffy. And I said, jiffy? Nobody says jiffy anymore. This son of a bitch is gonna kill us. Okay?

Listen, that's right where my mind goes. All right, you can judge me all you want to, but I live my life like every gun is loaded. Okay? Every snake is a king cobra. And no matter what touches me in the ocean, it's Jaws. Okay? I know I no matter what touches me in the ocean, it's Jaws. Okay?

I know I've had seaweed hit me in the leg and I'm like, Ah! You ever try to walk something off in the ocean? You can't look cool doing that. You can't. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to The Honeydew, y'all. We're over here doing it in the Night Past Studios.

I am Ryan Sickler, ryansickler.com. Ryan Sickler on all your social media. And I want to say thank you. Thank you for your support. This channel has grown. The community has grown. The special continues to do well. Please go watch and support my special lefty son on my YouTube channel.

And while you're there, subscribe to that channel. All right. And if you've got to have more than you've got to check out the page you're on, it's called the honeydew with y'all. And it's the honeydew With Y'all. And like I say every week, the wildest motherfucking stories on the Internet. I don't care what else you got out there. It's $5 a month. You're getting The Honeydew ad free.

You're getting it a day early. You're getting it audio and video. All right? At no additional cost. It's $5. And you still have hundreds of episodes to go and listen to. So go check it out. It's definitely worth your time. And if you're looking for a new podcast, go check out an old favorite called The Crab Feast.

It's an audio-only one. Subscribe. It's a great storytelling podcast I used to do with Jay Larson. And the tour's starting, guys. I'm starting to feel better enough to get out there. They tell me my D-dimer levels look like they're in the right zones to travel. So May 26th and 27th, the live and the live tour kicks off in Fort Wayne, Indiana. June 23rd and 24th, I'll be in Tacoma, Washington.

July 7th and 8th, Appleton, Wisconsin. We did have to reschedule Tulsa, Oklahoma, July 21st and 22nd because the club's not going to be ready yet. Not because of your boy. Your boy's kind of ready. I was going to say I stay ready, but I'm kind of ready. All right. Now y'all know what we do over here. By the way, dates are continuing to be added. All tickets available at RyanSickler.com. That's the biz. You know what we're doing over here. We're highlighting the lowlights. I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers. Very excited to have this guest on here today. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Dave Stone.

Welcome to the Honeydew, Dave. Thank you, buddy. Thanks, man. Thanks, brother. Thanks for having me. You're welcome, man. Thank you for being here. Before we get into your story today, why don't you plug and promote everything Dave Stone?

Sure. Got a new special out now on YouTube called Pack a Lunch. So you can go watch that right now. Also, you can get the audio version on vinyl at BlondeMedicine.com. That's who I'm on my albums with. Yeah, great folks. Dominic DelBene, great folks at Blonde Medicine. Shout out to Dominic and Jessica. Great folks over there. So yeah, limited edition vinyl. It's a big fat 2LP. I'm a vinyl guy, so I like the colored vinyl. So we got like a nice colored variant, 2LP.

Limited edition. They're moving quick. So get over there at BlondeMedicine.com and grab those. And then two podcasts. I do The Boogie Monster with Kyle Kinane, up and coming young lad. I think he's going to do all right. Great episode here on Honeydew. Check out Kyle Kinane's episode.

Kyle's so funny. Yeah, Boogie Monster. And then I do another podcast called The Stonebergs with my wife, where a really disheveled married couple tries to give advice to people. All right. So yeah, two idiots that can barely handle our own business are trying to lend our advice to the masses. So that's where you can find me. All right. Well, I know we have a specific story to talk about today,

but let's lead up into that. So you're originally from Georgia, correct? Yep, Georgia. You grow up there. What do you get into work-wise as soon as you're out of school? Are you going to college first? What is Dave Stone doing? Yeah, I went to college, walked on at West Georgia University football. Did you? Yeah.

What position? The old linebacker slash kicker combo. That old combo. That popular. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That Lawrence Taylor guy. Yeah, exactly. The old combo. That popular. That Lawrence Taylor guy. Yeah, exactly.

This guy's a good kicker. Maybe we can put him at weak linebacker. Just did that for a couple of months until I hurt my knee and then knew that I was going to miss the whole season. Walked on and walked off. Yep, walked on and walked off. Limped off. Limped off. Yeah.

And then just went to a community college for another couple of semesters. Just no idea what I wanted to do. Dropped out of that and went to broadcasting school. So my first career job, I was a radio DJ in Atlanta for about four years. What radio station? A bunch of them. But the big one, it was the one that I grew up listening to. Oh, wow.

So that was pretty cool in Atlanta. 99X, WNNX. It was like the K-Rock of Atlanta, you know, modern rock or alt rock, whatever you want to call it. But yeah, so I was doing that. And at the same time, bouncing around at other radio stations, like it was such a nomadic profession. I literally moved eight times in four years. And then my final radio job, I got let go because it was right when it was right around the turn of the century. That sounds weird to say. But when everything was becoming automated and there was a lot of consolidation and just like half our station got laid off. And that's what led to my other career that we'll talk about later. But, yeah, radio did some odds and ends.

This is, some people find this interesting. I was actually a tour manager for a couple of metal bands. Were you really? Yeah. Chris Jericho's band, Fozzy. They're still around. Are they? They're still out there doing it, playing good size venues. But yeah, I was Fozzy and Stuck Mojo's tour manager for a couple of years. Stuck Mojo's one of these old like rap metal pioneers, early 90s. So yeah, it was the same core. Before Anthrax and shit? About the same time. Yeah.

So it was the same core group of dudes. They had Stuck Mojo, the same core. And then Fozzy was basically the same band, but add Jericho on vocals. Okay. That was cool. And I grew up a wrestling guy. I'm not a wrestling guy anymore. I mean, I appreciate that 40-year-old men are obsessed with it,

but I grew out of it. But it was still cool working with Jericho. And that was kind of the peak of his fame. So we got to go do some of those wrestling shows. Monday Night Raw went up there and the band performed live and got to meet Stone Cold and The Rock before he was just a mega star. But yeah, so a little bit of everything. So then you're bouncing around doing this and that, then how do you get into

your career? Is it law enforcement? Yeah. I was just a cop. I was just a uniformed beat cop. What made you decide to do that? I just needed a job. Like when radio ended, I was just kind of bouncing around doing part-time jobs. And during that time, I got engaged way too young. And I'm 23. I'm engaged. I'm done with my radio career. You know, I got no education to fall back on. I was like, ah, I just needed health insurance and a 401k. And a buddy of mine had already worked for this police department. He's like, hey, we're hiring next year, man. You need to apply. And I was like, I don't know if I want to be a cop. And one thing led to another. How old are you at that point?

I started when I was 23. Okay. And were you always a guy that you could pass a piss test and all that stuff, or did you also have to go clean and sober to become a cop? No, back then I was straight edge. Like, I wasn't, like, straight edge, but I just, I didn't drink, I didn't smoke weed. So that wasn't a problem. That wasn't an issue. Okay. So what is the, what is it like? What is, are you an Atlanta, like, PD, or what is, what are you, a Georgia trooper?

Yeah. Like, what the hell are you, a Georgia trooper? What the hell are you? I was Cobb County police. Cobb County. Most of Atlanta is in Fulton County, but the county just north of there, which I think technically some of Atlanta seeps into, was Cobb County. So county police, big department. I think we had close to 1,000 officers. Just north metro Atlanta was our whole area.

So, yeah, just went to the academy. That was about eight or nine months. Wait, it's that long? Yeah. Yeah, it was quite a – That's longer than boot camp then, isn't it? Oh, yeah. Boot camp is what, a couple months? Yeah, something like that.

But, yeah, this was, I think, eight months. And what are you learning? It was classroom setting setting Monday through Friday. Just I'm tempted to do my my jokes, but just they teach you the basics of law enforcement. Like a lot of half of it was like like law school kind of, you know, they teach you the textbook stuff. And then the other half was more, you know, hands on tactical stuff. Now, how are you learning situations like we're seeing on fucking everybody's cell phone from a classroom like learning mistakes from real officers or just i mean how do you teach how do you teach a cop

that's under duress that same feeling and shit in a classroom you can't well they show you a lot of videos oh you do every video of every cop who ever got his ass kicked we're gonna show you this video i have seen the one where the guy got killed and they were saying what he did wrong yeah and you can hear him screaming and shit yeah it's terrifying yeah they they really hammer that into your head and like they're showing you brothers and sisters that are dying because of mistakes they made. Yeah. That's part of the training. Yeah. And the term for it, they call officer safety. Like they just hammered officer safety. And like, you know, I have, as we'll learn, I have mixed emotions about my time there,

but I will say it was a good department in terms of training. It wasn't Mayberry. It was a big department, well-funded, a lot of resources, a lot of good training. So they really hammer officer safety. So you get out of training, and what do you become then? What is your first job? First job is just uniform patrol, basically. Is that in a car? Do they still have on-foot patrol anymore? I don't think so. Maybe some cities that have a real pedestrian-heavy city center might, but I don't think we had any on-foot cops. We had bicycle cops and stuff like that. But basically, everybody starts out in what we call uniform patrol.

And our whole department or territory was divided up into five different precincts. And then within each precinct, you have beats. But so they send you to one of the five precincts.

And for another eight months, you ride with an FTO, a field training officer. So it's like eight or nine months of schooling. Then you get out and then you just ride shotgun every night for about another eight months so my fucking cousin this motherfucker

lucked out i mean did he or didn't he i think he did but same thing he gets out of uh is it what is it called we call it mandate school mandate school and now he's riding with a partner or whatever and it is week one it might be day two and they all of a sudden they're in a high speed chase yeah and they're chasing this car and some asshole cuts out in front of them so the his partner tries to go around them and in doing so he hits the median and the car flips and they're rolling and they're both okay cars upside down my cousin's ankles fucked and he's climbing out and he said ryan i was so fucked up and concussed and disoriented that he just said they teach you also to cover your weapon and that's all that kept going through his head was

protect my fucking weapon so someone doesn't get it and use it against me and he said he couldn't help it but all he kept he said no one was asking him anything and he just kept yelling i am the police i am the police and he said no one was asking him okay they were like we know you're in the car with the lights i am the police he said that's all he could yell i'm trying to use that one he said i am the police oh i was laughing so hard so they put rods and shit in his fucking uh ankle and he gets married and he's doing his little vows and he cries you know and he's mr italian american hard ass doesn't cry he cries and i'm fucking with him a little bit. I'm like, oh, you're over there crying and shit, you motherfucker. We get to the reception, and there's this fucking step down that it is hard as shit to see. Uh-huh.

Uh-oh. And he hits this motherfucking step down, and that ankle pops, and he goes down to the crowd. And he's holding it. He just looks up at me, and a tear comes down his face, and I just couldn't help it. I had to kick him by his neck. I was like hey tippy cried twice at his wedding everybody look at this motherfucker it's okay he is the police i should have yelled yeah i thought he was gonna yell that i am the police

yeah dude so he then gets like they give him an office job and now he's a liability on the streets because of what happened yeah they fucking retire him after only a few years really in his early 30s and he gets a full pension and everything the rest of his life and they do programs where like if you live move into a neighborhood they'll give you a discount on the house because they want you to have you know a little presence in the neighborhood you know especially if you're a trooper that takes a car home. That fucking cruiser sitting in the driveway is like, let's not go fuck with that guy's house.

Yeah, I had a couple of those gigs where I got free rent at an apartment complex in exchange for being the, what do they call it, courtesy officer. I was the courtesy officer. I'd handle noise complaints and stuff like that. Or if I was actually working in something, they'd call me and I'd just send somebody else over there. But, yeah. Yeah.

I think we call those part-times. There's all kind of little part-times that you can do to supplement your income. Okay. Yeah. But that was a sweet gig, just working at a – just living free rent in a nice apartment complex. Yeah. And once a month, I'd have to hand out notices or the occasional noise complaint. But, yeah, it was pretty easy.

Pretty good gig. So then do you come up through the ranks a bit or what? Not really. I wasn't there long enough to really climb the ranks. I was there about four years, four and a half years. Okay. So yeah, and hated every second of it. Did you?

Yeah. At first, because like I said, it wasn't anything. I didn't grow up wanting to be a cop. Sure. It's not in your family. Yeah. It wasn't in my family. But, you know, I still had obviously an interest in it in terms of like, well, if I got to have a job, you know, at least I'm not sitting behind a desk. And you got to remember, too, the climate wasn't what it is now. This was 22 years ago. This is when everybody was getting away with what's going on now. 2001. That was still happening. Everybody just getting away with what's going on now 2001 it was still happening everybody just getting away with it yeah pre everybody having a cell phone yeah yeah but also just the general climate wasn't as you know paranoid as it is now just

because there's not that that stuff didn't go on back then but it just wasn't on the news every night like it is now so um but yeah my, my point is, you know, I thought, okay, well, I need a job. I need like a real job, something where I can get some health benefits and stuff. So like for a guy who doesn't have a college degree, you know, this might be about the best I can do at this point in time in my life. It's a government position. 23 years old. Yeah. So, you know, I went into it with a good attitude, but then it just sucks the life out of you quick because you just – I'm in a weird position now where I see both cop doing something wrong in the news, I'm like, yeah, fuck that guy. He should have known better. But also when some homeowners association president is screaming

because a cop did something wrong, I'm like, well, you don't know exactly what their job entails. So pump the brakes a little bit. But you just, every night you see... What's the craziest shit you saw in your four years? Third day out on the street.

I won't do the bit, but I had this. I closed on my new special about it. Third night out of the academy, out on the street with an FTO. I found a decapitated head. Come on, dude. What do you mean you found it? A guy, a 19-year-old Georgia Tech student committed suicide by laying his head across some train tracks. And you guys are just out there cruising around and you look over and see a head or you got a call? We get a call that there's a mannequin on some train tracks.

Oh, no. And we both were like – I think I literally even said like, that's an odd reason to call the police. And we get there and not a mannequin, just a real human body with no head. And I found the head. Where was the head? How far away? About 10 yards in a ditch. Yards in a ditch.

It cut it off and rolled. His head rolled. I wonder, don't you wonder, don't you wonder if for like 10 seconds the brain is working enough where his head's bouncing, he's seeing that shit go around. And then the camera just shuts off. It's got to be a little bit. There's no way it's bouncing. He's seeing that shit go around. I mean, it's got to be a little bit. There's no way it's instant. There's no way it's instant if you're – I don't know. I don't know a lot of anything. The inside joke was how many trains came by before he actually went through with it.

Another fun fact, zero blood. It just cauterized? It cauterized the wheels. Did it? Yeah, because all the heat from the – they're not wheels, but what of the things that train the little circular metal – I guess they're metal wheels. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck.

And again, I'm not going to do the whole bit, but in my bit, and it's all true, eventually my FTO hands me a trash bag. No. And says, quote, go get him, Stone. No. And I was like, do what? And then I was, I mean, he got shitty about it. He's like, take this fucking bag, go get his head. I was like, oh, okay.

Day three. Day three. You picked up a human head. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Day three. Good times. On the job.

Listen, there's cops out there that have been on the force 30 years. I can't tell you they've done that. Day two, the night before that. Day two, I stepped in a bucket of human shit. Yeah, well, that happens to us outside here at the studios. Walking through a crack house in a five-gallon Home Depot paint bucket. No. Yeah.

Five-gallon. How do you step in a five-gallon bucket? It was dark. We were just kind of feeling around. Do you high step in? Yeah. Just for that reason. Because I knew I was going to step on something and just right now it's like, oh, that was

squishy. Oh, that's feces. I love being a cop. And day three is a head sever. Yeah. It's. Yeah. You just you see the worst of humanity.

Oh, yeah. A lot of fights. Tell me about some fights. I fought a guy who was trying to take my gun. I fought a dude. I'm not laughing. I'm laughing. You're like, yeah.

Yeah, man. Wow. Yeah. I mean, seriously. In four years, probably 12 or 15 shit kickers. That's fucking. That's every three months. Yeah.

Yeah. Just a shit kicker. It's quarterly. Yeah. Because that's every three months. Yeah. Yeah, just a shit kicker. That's quarterly. Yeah. Because that's what people don't understand. Like, if you and I had an encounter with the police, like, it would be a big deal in our week or our month or in our year. But I'm fighting people that I'm probably the third cop they fought this month. Yeah.

It's just like, this is what I do. I'm not afraid to fight a fucking cop. Send me to jail. At least I don't have to pay rent. That was the mentality of some of these people. There's nothing scarier than someone who has nothing to lose. Amen. And you're just dealing with people who have nothing to lose. What the fuck do I

care? Right. And it was such an eye-opener. Tell me about some of the fights. You said a guy was trying to get your gun. Yeah. The whole story that we're leading up to was just And it was such an island. Tell me about some of the fights. You said a guy was trying to get your gun. Yeah. Yeah. Well, this is the whole story that we're leading up to was just, it was a series of events that just left me so disgruntled. You know, it was just a disgruntled officer. I got in a fight one time with a dude, literally trying to steal my gun.

Not to pawn it, not to steal it and run into the woods. He's trying to take my gun so he could use it on me. You know, he's fucking got his hands all over my shoulder. And why? What did you catch up with him for? He had a warrant. He's going to jail. It's when people know they're going to jail.

They're like, fuck that. No, I'm not. And they're not. These guys know they're not going to jail for this charge. They're going to jail because they got a warrant from an old charge that is now going to give them five years, 10 years in prison, whatever it may be. And when you're dealing with people that are like, oh, if this cop puts both handcuffs on me, I'm going to jail for 10 years or whatever the case may be. And it was one of those situations where I was with another officer. One little technique,

and they always get this wrong in the movies. If you're a perp and I'm a cop and I know I run your license, there's a warrant pops up, I don't tell you that you're under arrest until I have handcuffs on you. If I go, hey, turn around, you're under arrest, you're like, well, I could run or I could fight or whatever. There's a technique to trick them. Like, hey, man, before we go any further, do you mind if I pat you down just to make sure you don't have any bombs or bazookas on you? And usually they'll comply to that. And you get them to turn around. Just put your hands behind your back and you pat them down. Click, click. You want to put those cuffs on them when they don't realize it's coming. That's legal?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. So even if they're not under arrest, even if you just need to detain them for your own safety. But yeah, you act like you're just patting them down. Hey, turn around real quick. Click, click. But if I go, hey, man, you got a warrant. You're going to jail. You're like, no, I'm not. So anyway, in that scenario, my partner is the one that told him he was going to jail.

You're Mr. Trigger Happy over here? No, it's another one. But before we had handcuffs on it and this guy just starts swinging. And it was literally two on one. Is he a big dude? Big dude, two on one. Oh, okay. But before we had handcuffs on it, and this guy just starts swinging. And it was literally two on one. Is he a big dude? Big dude, two on one. And we weren't winning. And he was trying to grab my goat.

We. We weren't winning. And the point is, I got one handcuff on him, and we're still fighting. And to this day, I don't remember if it was my partner or me, because it was just such a melee. But he got his wrist broke. He had one handcuff on and his other wrist got broke. And I got in trouble for excessive use of force while a suspect is in custody because he had one handcuff on. And when you deal with stuff like this, I don't know how other departments do it, but we had like a civilian review board. And what that means is you have people from the, you know, an employee from the

water department, an employee from the solicitor's office, an employee from the fire. It's a civilian. They're not technically civilians because they work for the county. I see. But it's a civilian review board. And you have to go and explain what happened to people who have never been in law enforcement. Or in that scenario. Yeah. This guy works for the water department and he's judging how I did my job. And I got suspended for excessive use of force because we broke a guy's wrist who was in handcuffs. Who was also trying to get your gun to kill you. Exactly. And I kept saying handcuff, singular, singular. We had one him, and he was trying to get my gun. And so it was a series of things like that that just led me to being like, fuck this job, fuck this department.

And we can get into that later. Yeah, that's what I want to talk about. That led up to my poor decision making. Have you ever been just too damn high? We've all been there. With today's weed, finding your perfect dose can be a dangerous game. Dadgrass is reviving the pleasure of the casual toke so you can chill out without the stress. Dad grass is legal, organic, smokable hemp that relaxes your body and mellows your mind. Their 100% organic

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Dadgrass is offering my listeners 20% off your first order when you go to dadgrass.com slash honeydew. Go to dadgrass.com slash honeydew for 20% off your first order. That's dadgrass.com slash honeydew. Now, let's get back to the do. What was poor decision making? Well, like I said, this was just, this was a series of things like that. I got suspended another time for wrecking a car in a chase. And it's like, I'm chasing a guy. I wasn't on my way to work in a police car and just drag racing, you know, like just getting, not that like, of course there has to be checks and balances drag racing, you know, like just getting – not that like – of course there has to be checks and balances. But the whole problem, at least back then, they – like

I said, in the academy, every day we watched a video of a cop getting killed. You know, officer safety, officer safety, officer safety. But also, you got to do every single fucking thing exactly right or we're going to suspend you or fire you or sue you or whatever. So you ask these officers to go out and do something dangerous. And I'm not defending corruption. Of course – but like you're going to suspend me because I broke a dude's wrist who was only in one handcuff? A guy who was literally trying to kill me? Like I said, he didn't want my gun because he's a collector.

Right. He wasn't going to go run and pawn it. Clean it. He's going to fucking kill me. Yeah. But yet I get suspended a week without pay because this guy got his wrist broke and he had one handcuff on. So it's just that mentality.

Or like my department was very stat driven. It was like stats meaning how many tickets did you write tonight, Stone? How many arrests did you make? It's like, oh, I didn't make any because I handled 14 911 calls. You know, I'm going to like dangerous 911 calls and my beat partner's writing speeding tickets. So I would go to dangerous calls with no backup. Why no backup? Because we called it beat partners. Like I said, the precinct, well, the department was divided open to five precincts. I worked at zone three. And then within that precinct, we had like 13 beats. And it just means little territories. Dave handled it. 3111 handles this

beat. 312 handles that beat. And we didn't have partners in the car, but we had beat partners, meaning if I'm 3112 and you're 3111, well, if 312 gets a call, then as soon as I, you know, 10-4 en route, then my beat partner goes in code, would just say, show me en route to back him up. Any, almost any call, you'd have to go back somebody up because we don't know what it is. Right. You know, I would hope. And it's, somebody up because we don't know what it is. Right. You know, I would hope. And it's we're responsible for each other. Now, if someone if my beat partner's writing a ticket and someone else is available, then they might be like they'll give this guy a chance to hop in and go, I'm going to code seven was the phrase. But if no one is going to back me up, then someone else can hop on and go, hey, I'll go back him up. But if they're all busy and my beat partner's writing a fucking speeding ticket

and I'm going to an armed robbery by myself. And then you get back to the precinct and they're like, why didn't you write any speeding tickets? And we had this thing called a daily. It's just you log everything. I'm like, look at my fucking daily. When was I supposed to write a speeding ticket? So it was a lot of that like, where's your stats? On paper, it looks like Officer Stone didn't do shit tonight because he had no tickets and no rest. But I went to 13 different fucking calls. I have paperwork. I have reports on all these calls. But anyway, I'm elaborating on that. But it was just that mentality of like, do this, but also do this,

and don't do that, but also do this, and why aren't you doing that? And make sure you do it by the book. Yeah. And it was a series of just disgruntled events. And you want me to just get to the good part? One day, you know, I told this story on the boogie monster. But, yeah, and I was telling you off the air, like, I've been doing comedy 16 years. I've just now started talking about cop stuff.

Just I kept it a secret for all these years just because, A, the story I'm about to tell. But also just even if there was no negative stories, it's still like, oh, you're a cop. Fuck this guy. And like, as you know, half of standup is winning over the audience or becoming likable. Long story short, been a cop four and a half years, probably been suspended three or four times without pay for things that I thought were unjust. I'm wrecking a car. I got suspended for wrecking a car because I was chasing a guy, a guy who wouldn't pull over. But I wrecked, just shit like that. It's like, what? And then,

you know, the people handing out the sentences are people that work at the water department. It's like, lady, do you have any fucking idea what I do? So anyway, I think I've made that point clear. I was very disgruntled. This is not a reflection of my character. But one day, pulled over this dude. He was a Latino guy. Like one of the cheapest tickets we had.

It was like a tag light. That was the easiest probable cause. The little light that illuminates your license plate. Most everybody's have gone out. And there's no way for you to know that unless your buddy chats it. Who does like a full inspection of all their lights?

Anyway, easiest probable cause in the world. And I've gotten to talking to because I'm not writing enough tickets. All right, I'm going to write a bunch of fucking tag-like tickets. It's the cheapest ticket. Here you go, man. Sorry, it's 50 bucks, 60 bucks.

Pulled over this one guy one night, Latino fella, no English. And he was trying to, you know, show him the ticket. You turn around on the back, you circle the phone number. Hey, call this number in 10 days. They'll tell you how much your fine is.

Everybody's like, how much is it? That's the question everybody asked for the ticket. And we don't like keep up with it. But like we knew that like this is one of the cheapest tickets at the time. It was like 50, 60 bucks. And I was explaining this guy, you know, no English. And he pulls out a $50 bill. It's like, I pay now?

And he wasn't trying. I don't think he was trying to bribe me. But he was literally just like, can I just pay now? And I kept saying, no I don't think he was trying to bribe me, but he was literally just like, can I just pay now? And I kept saying, no, man, call this phone number. They'll tell you where to mail the check, blah, blah, blah. I pay now? I pay now? No, you don't pay now. After about the fifth time, sure, man, you can pay now. And I took the $50. I didn't need the $50. It was a fuck you to the department. You know, it's like I'm trying to explain to this guy. I'm fresh off of suspension, very disgruntled. Sure, man.

In the interest of putting this issue to bed and moving on with our days, yeah, you can pay now. And then I took his ticket back so he wouldn't like – and six months go by. And the story that was later told to me, this is how I got caught. That guy, whoever he was, his brother got a ticket, a similar ticket one night. And his brother was complaining like, I got a fucking ticket. And then the guy I dealt with was like, oh, you could just, why didn't you just pay the officer? And his brother's like, that's not how that works. And he goes, well, that's how it worked for me. And he's like, what? He's like, yeah, I got pulled over and I gave the officer 50 bucks.

And then they, that, his brother complained to the police department and they tracked, they figured out the location and the time and my physical description and they called me in. And you admitted it? Yeah. Why? Just trying to do the right thing. I was like, well. I mean, I also want to ask you this, six months go by, this thing at point probably it's had you even remembered it or thought about it i thought about it i thought because i knew it was wrong yeah i knew that i was were you thinking about it like boy six months down the line this could bite me nass i mean what a weird way for some shit to come back and get you get this shit okay unbeknownst

to me okay once this guy filed the complaint and then they figured out it was me, they did an internal investigation. They had collaborated with the GBI, the Georgia Bureau of Investigation. They thought I was a serial offender. They thought I was just out there every night targeting Latinos with broken English who may or may not even be here. They thought because apparently this had happened before. When it was all said and done and I'm in handcuffs talking to the internal affairs, they were just convinced. Wait, hold on. You can't just jump in handcuffs.

Hold on. They brought you in. Did you get to go home that night or that day you're going? No, eventually I got to go home that night. So what happened? They ask you straight up, did you do this? No, eventually I got to go home that night. So what happened? They ask you straight up, did you do this? And you say, yes, I did. Well, my point, too, with the investigation, get this, though.

They had undercover GBI officers tailing me during my whole shift. For how long? And baiting me for a couple of weeks. Baiting you? I remember this happened one night. One night, it was a couple months after this had happened. I'm going to a call. I see this one car multiple times throughout the night, the same car. It was like a gray Pontiac Grand Am. And I'm going to a call and this car does something. And I'm like, boy, this fucker's lucky I got to go to a 911

call or I totally stop this asshole. What's this guy doing? And then I saw him again a couple hours later. He threw trash out the window. And I was going to another call. And I saw him for the third time in the same night doing something crazy. And I finally stopped him. I was like, dude, did you not see the police car? I was like, I've seen you twice tonight. You're lucky that blah, blah. And it was a Latino guy. and he tried to bribe me. He did. And fortunately for me in the back of my mind, I'm like, well, I know I did that once, but I ain't doing this shit again. Fortunately for me, I was like, no, that's not how this works. Blah, blah, blah. I wrote him a real ticket and went on with his day. Later when the investigation was concluded, they revealed that that was a GBI officer who was trying to bait me. It was. And he was on,

he had camp body cams and they were trying to get me to do it again on camera. And at the time, I was like, what an idiot. What is this guy doing? And then I was like, oh, that's what that guy was doing. That was a GBI officer undercover trying to bait me, see if they could get me to do it again. So what point do you find out you're actually under arrest and now going to prison, jail? Where are we headed?

I remember it so vividly. It was January 4th, 2005. I'm sitting. I'm working day watcher. What do we call it? So you're still working. I'm still working. From the police department.

Okay. Yeah, I'm on. You're not on suspension or leave or any of that shit? No, because this. Because they want to catch you. Yes. Gotcha. When that happened, I was working morning watch.

I was working overnights. Now I'm working afternoon watch. It's called morning watch, afternoon – day watch. Anyway, I work 2.30 p.m. to 10.30 p.m. So it's about 4 p.m., January 4, 2005. I'm sitting there in a parking lot of a strip mall eating Chinese food. Just eating Chinese food in the car. And every officer has a radio number.

For example, I was 3113, three meaning the third precinct, one meaning the first shift, and 13 meaning the beat I worked. So anytime they said 3113, that was me. 3113, go ahead. And we had uniform patrol officers. We had sergeants, lieutenants, and a commander. The commander was in charge of the whole precinct. He was the highest ranking officer at this precinct. Above him, you only had deputy chief and chief. So this guy was a big wig. I forgot his name, but the commanders and the lieutenants would never get on the radio. You never heard them on the radio. It was always sergeants talking to the officers, officers talking to the 911 dispatch. And his number was 3101. Whenever someone was an 01, that was a commander. That was, oh, shit. channel on the radio that everybody could hear. If you had a police scanner, a civilian could sit there and listen to it. And then we had a private channel. And that's on regular channel, I might go

3113, switch to private, and then you switch to private. And now we have a private conversation. Our other officers can hear it, but civilians can't. Police scanner people can't hear it. 3101 to 3113, go to private. Whoa, you got an 01 to a 13, go to private. You're having Chinese food to park it. Yeah. And of course, everybody else is like, oh, fuck. 3113 is on private.

3113, I forgot what the code was. Some code to meet back at precinct. I forgot whatever signal or code that was, but 31, 13, 10, four, 10 minute drive.

Do you know what's up? I assumed it had something to do with you do. Yeah. I was like, well, because I had a clear conscious other than that. And like I said, even the suspensions,

like I didn't feel guilty about wrecking a car. I didn't feel guilty about breaking that guy's wrist. Like I'm out here trying to fucking do my job and not get killed. Right. So the only guilty conscience I had, the only thing I knew, I was like, oh, fuck, it must be that. And I walk into the precinct, and in the commander's office is the commander, lieutenant, two sergeants, and two detectives from internal affairs. Damn. And you know about internal affairs.

That's a cop that investigates other cops. So, you know, I was just like, fuck. And they're like, come in and close the door. I was like, how are y'all doing? And like, go ahead and take your gun off. They immediately asked for my gun, gave him my gun. And then they were like, I forgot how they, I mean, it was all just a blur. I forgot how they eased into the conversation.

Are you sitting down? Are you standing? I'm standing, just shaking. And then they were like, you know, we got a complaint from so-and-so, so-and-so. And they're like, was that you? I was like, yep. And they were like, all right, go with these two detectives and the two internal affairs guys. I rode with them in their car. They didn't handcuff me then, but I went to Internal Affairs in like five hours of just that classic, you know, 48 hours. Because they're trying to find out if you're this serial offender and you're targeting Latinos who don't speak English and may be here illegally. Yeah.

And they were convinced. And they were convinced that, A, I was doing that serially. And, B, I was – With no proof of it. Yeah, with no proof of it. Yeah. With no proof of it. Yeah. I guarantee you that's the only complaint I got because honestly, that's the only time I ever did it. But they thought I was doing it habitually and they thought I was working with other cops. And I remember one time they kept saying, just give us a name, give us a name and we'll take it easy on you. And I remember saying this

vividly. And police world's weird in that like – Do you not get to ask for an attorney right then and there and not answer their questions? Yeah, I could have. But I was just – I was like, I know where this is headed. I knew I was guilty. I was like, fuck it. Whatever it's going to be. And a part of me was relieved because I fucking hated the job.

relieved because I fucking hated the job. But police world is weird because let's say you're my partner. Even if we don't get along, I don't like you. You don't like me. At the end of the day, there's a mutual respect and camaraderie because we have each other's lives in our hands. Right. And I had a couple of good friends there, but there was just a lot of guys I just didn't get along with because they were just stereotypical dickhead cops. That's one thing that I get so frustrated with police. Police are granted an incredible amount of discretion, meaning they've given me the power and the discretion to go to these calls and make a decision. You've given me the power and the discretion to go to these calls and make a decision. And my point is there's a lot of cops out there, including ones I worked with. If legally I can arrest you, I'm going to. No ifs, ands, or buts.

Right. Where I, not to pat myself on the back, but I try to use a little common sense and discretion. For example, you go to a domestic dispute, you know, and she says he did this and he says he didn't. And there's kids and you learn the story that he's working and she's out of work. And now she's sitting there with a black eye and a busted nose. Sorry, buddy, you're going to jail. But if it's there's no my point is arresting this guy tonight. Is that the best thing for this family? If he goes to jail and is out of work, I got three kids.

Now, like I said, there's some crimes. Well, sorry, buddy. You're going to jail. But like the iffy stuff, man, tonight's your lucky night. Don't maybe come back here. But my point is there's so many cops I worked with. Nope. 1015 was the code for arrest.

1015. 1015. Regardless of any discretion. I don't know where it's going with that part. Oh, yeah. They said they were convinced that I had partners. And I remember them saying, just give us a name. And I said, look, if there was a name I could give you, I would do it because I'm not loyal to any of these dickheads. I was like, if I could give you a name and make my sentence lighter, of course I'd do it. Because I'm not loyal to any of these dickheads. I was like, if I if I could give you a name and make my sentence lighter, of course I'd do it. But I'm telling you for the 10th time, it was a one time thing and nobody else was involved. They were just so convinced that I was part of a ring of cops doing this.

And they said they were going to make an example of me. Like you've shamed the department. You've shamed your community. The district attorney was going to make a example out of me. You've shamed the department. You've shamed your community. The district attorney is going to make an example out of you. There's no plea bargains available. This is going to trial. You will get convicted and you will go to prison for three to five years. Fuck. How do you feel hearing that? Are you just fucking like, I need to sit down? I mean, that was, and this for six months from the time they told me that to the time it was all done, it was about six or seven months. For six or seven months, I was like, I'm going to prison in July. So wait, you're allowed to go

home? Yeah. Well, they let me go that night. I wasn't under arrest. Not halfway out. Yeah. They let me go that night. I wasn't even charged. They were like, you're probably going to be charged in a week or two. You are, as of this moment, fired. You're free to go. But once we get all our paperwork and ducks in a row, we will file charges. Yeah. And sure enough, about two – and in between, I did go get an attorney. And about two weeks later, the attorney called and said, all right, they've officially filed charges. You need to go turn yourself in.

And that was a rough day. My mom and my girlfriend drove me down to Cobb County Correctional Facility. And I was in – Did you cry? No. No. I felt like it. But I was there for about four or five hours.

Where? In jail. Not prison, but jail. Like a cell? Yeah, just a cell. By yourself? No, with about ten other dudes. Even then, immediately, I was like, boy, I hope they don't find out I'm a cop.

Just in jail. Now, prison's a whole other story. But yeah, I was just in jail for like five hours. My girlfriend and mom bonded me out. I forgot what my bond was, but they went to a bail bondsman. You know that whole routine. You pay 10%. Friends that are bail bondsmen.

Yeah. So then you're out, and then you're out now until your court date? Yeah. Which – how much time was that for you? There was a couple of different like arraignments. I think I went back to court two or three times over the next six or seven months. But the whole time I'm here – You can't work?

No. You can't get a job? Well, I immediately started a landscaping business. Okay. So actually the day – I was unemployed for one day. After that first day, I went home. The next day, I was just telling my girlfriend, telling my parents, everything. And then the very next day, I went down to the unemployment office, and I was standing in line because I had rent.

I was standing in line. I was just like, fuck this. I'm not – and I got a like, fuck this. I'm not. And I got a job the next day driving a limo. I drove limos for like three months. I remember when that was a job. Yeah. And one of our clients was a hip-hop label.

So I drove around Little John. I drove Ludacris. I drove all these rappers. And I just remember thinking like a week ago I was a cop. Now I'm driving a limo and there's Ludacris in the back. So I did that for a few months while I got my landscaping business off the ground. And, you know, this was, like I said, this happened in January. So, you know, in Georgia, there's no landscaping to be done in the winter.

So I slowly, I bought some equipment, took out a loan from my dad, bought a trailer and some equipment. I had this nice little landscaping business going. And funny, people who know this band will appreciate this. But the guys I was working with, Stuck Mojo and Fozzy, the main guy, Jericho's the singer, but the founder of both those bands is a guitar guy named Rich Ward. And I was a huge fan all through high school, whatever. So and then, you know, this was before cop stuff. I was a huge fan all through high school, whatever. So and then, you know, this was before cop stuff. I was working for them, but I kind of kept in touch with Rich and just ran into him like a blockbuster video right after all this happened. And he had been

touring a lot, but he'd taken a big break. And he's like, oh, you're doing landscaping. He's like, he's like, you need any help? I was like, what? He's like, do you need any part-time help? I was like, yeah, but Rich Ward, do you want to come edge sidewalks with me? But anyway, so Rich was my assistant for a few months. And my point is, those six or seven months between the arrest and the trial, or seven months between the arrest and the trial, like I said, every week my attorney is like, prepare to go to prison for three years. And I was like, okay. You're out there on a ride. Yeah.

So I had already, Rich had agreed to take, I was going to keep the business. I was going to turn the business over to Rich. And then I was going to have him give, we'd cut a deal like, hey, you can take over this business, but let's take 25% of revenue and give it to my fiance while I'm in prison for three years. And so, yeah. And just that was such a surreal spring because I'm just riding around, cutting lawns and, you know, thinking about going to prison. And oh, by the way, my metal hero is my son. Ozzy Osbourne's over here weed whacking.

To people who know, like his picture was on Guitar Center. I mean, this guy's like a guitar god. And I'm like, hey, Rich, when you're done with the front, can you go weed eat the back? And he's like, hey, Rich, when you're done with the front, can you go weed eat the back? And he's like, sure thing, Dave. But Rich was going to take over my business and give some of the revenue to my fiance. That's nice. For three years while I was in prison. That's nice.

All right. So then what happens? You're preparing every day. Your anxiety's got to be through the roof. I'm going to prison, prison, prison. What must that be like? And I'm a cop. And I'm i'm going to prison prison prison what must that be like and if i thought i'm a cop and i'm a cop exactly if i thought i was going to white collar prison that would have been you know troublesome of like oh what have i done in my life yeah i'm going to

prison not as a cop but as a dirty cop dirty cop oh and. Oh, fuck. In gen pop. In gen pop. Fuck that, dude. What's up, white boy? What's up, cop? Remember me, motherfucker? Nope. Theoretically could be in prison with people I put there. That's what I'm saying. Not in a different state.

The same state, same area. Going to prison for three years as a dirty cop. And I was like, well, I'm either going to get murdered or raped or I'm going to have to murder somebody from not getting raped. So probably going to be a lot more than three years. And it was a horrible, horrible spring just thinking about that every day. And again, nobody's fault but my own. Nobody's fault but mine. It isn't a woe is me. Nobody fucking made me take that. But I am telling you sincerely, it was not a scam to to, you know, abuse vulnerable immigrants. I was just like it was a split second of poor

judgment and rebellion. I was like, fuck y'all. Sure, I'll take your fucking 50 bucks. And yeah, so like I said, the whole time, that whole spring was just like and my attorney was like there's no way around it man they're pissed you just come on man i just got a new snapper ride here's the other thing i was on the news i was all over the news oh shit your face is out in the area that i grew up in where you're cutting grass people i went to high school people recognize you? Like, from leaning out, like, this guy's cutting my motherfucking grass right now. That I don't know.

But I know a lot of people I grew up with were like, oh, shit, that's Dave Stone. For about two weeks. It was on the local news every night. Every night. What are they saying? What's the portrayal on the news? Is it the whole dirty cops taking advantage of immigrants? So they are putting that narrative publicly.

Yes, and they set up a hotline. If you think you or someone you know was a victim of Officer Stone, call this number. How many people are calling that number? Not a goddamn one. How about that? I asked them after the fact. I said, how many fucking calls did y'all get? How many calls did you get?

And they tell you? Mm-hmm. I was like, see, fucking told you. But yeah, they set up a hotline. Let's say. And had you trailed and all that stuff. Yeah. And my point is, by some miracle, like the 23rd hour.

What's the phrase? The 23rd, 25th hour. Right before, like a day or two before the trial, my attorney calls me. He's like, I don't know what happened, but they're swamped. They got an overloaded caseload. They want to do a plea bargain. If you plead guilty to this, you'll stay out of prison. You'll do five years of probation. And I was like, all right. And I pled guilty. And what if you didn't? Then it would have went to trial. And if I would have gotten convicted. Would they have had to admit though that they had no calls on the hotline and all that stuff? Yeah, but I'm not being charged for that.

Like, the thing I'm being charged with. Is the thing you actually did. Yeah. And I admitted to it, you know, off the record. That's the thing you said. Yeah. And, you know, looking back, I'm like, you know, should I have not? But I was just like, like, karmically and cosmically, I was like, well, I've already done the bad deed.

Let me at least try to just be honest from here on out and whatever I get, I deserve. All right. So you take the plea bargain. You're guilty. What does that mean for you in the state of Georgia? And as far as are you a convicted felon the rest of your life? Can you vote? Can you carry a firearm?

What happened? At the time, I was a convicted felon. Even though I pled guilty, it's still a conviction. And five years probation, once a month, just had to go and meet with the probation officer. And do what, piss test and all that stuff? No, they didn't piss test me because it wasn't drug or alcohol related. Got it. The main stipulation, like the biggest- Yeah, what's your test? My stipulation is I'm not allowed to work in law enforcement during the probation period. Okay. So every time, every month I'd go, really the only question he would ask me, well, he'd ask me, have I been arrested for anything petty or otherwise this month? And am I working as a law enforcement officer? And I was like, no. Just landscaping. Yeah,

just landscaping. And I started doing comedy right after that. That's a whole other story, but I'd wanted to start comedy when I was 19 and just never had the nerve. I used to go to open mics. I'd write jokes, go to open mics,

sign my name. Three or four times I went and they called my name and I just didn't have the nerve. I was just in the back of the room, silent. And then after all that, I was like, fuck it.

I'm doing comedy. So you can't work law enforcement. Can you vote? No, couldn't vote. Couldn't carry a firearm. But that's just for the probation period? Well, technically, yes, because an average felon in most states, it's for life. For life, yeah.

But I got first offender status because I had had a clean record up until then. I got some first offender status program where, what's the term? After probation, it's supposed to be expunged, like disappear from my record. And has it? Which it did not because years later, I applied to get an apartment. And one of the questions was, have you ever been convicted of crime? And I put no. And then they were like, hey, we got a hit here that says you did. Why are you lying to us? Like, well, to be honest with you, I'm not lying purposefully, but I was told that it disappears from my record and I didn't have to admit that after the five years. And they're like, well, it showed up on our search. So how do you get that clear?

I don't know. I'm still working on that. Are you really? And I tried to buy ammo at Walmart a few years ago. This was 18 years after the fact and something popped, something flagged and they wouldn't sell it to me. So I got to get all that straightened out through the state of Georgia. But, yeah, it was supposed to disappear from my record after probation. And I don't give a shit about any of that, really. I hear you. But I am allowed to vote for some reason.

I have been voting. But the firearms thing. They're looking at that and being like, throw it up. Yeah. What about – okay, so here's the thing that sucks for you, I think, is that you take the plea bargain, right? I understand why, but you have to admit guilt. So then all that bullshit on the news, that narrative looks true because this dirty cop just said he did do it. Because it was true.

Yeah, I did do that. But not what they were saying about this whole ring of police or you were like the leader of this group that was fucking taking advantage. Damn, dude. Yeah. Facing three to five as a cop in the same spot where you fucking put people. Fuck that. Yeah, man. Big time.

Big time. Fuck that. All right. Man, big time. Big time. Fuck that. All right. I want to shift gears because I want to talk about this other story real fast about some trouble you have with a fire, I guess. God damn.

All right. Long story short, my dad passed away in June of 18 and real unexpectedly. And of course, that sucked. And I just started dating my now wife we were on again off again a lot before that but i just kind of we just kind of cleaned everything up and started really settling down together and my dad passes away and uh had to cancel dates i was in cincinnati about to go bananas and i got the phone. I had to cancel that. And anyway, her dad owned a nice little cabin up in Lake Arrowhead, California. And my girlfriend at the

time, she was like, listen, just go up there for like a week, you know, just mourn, grieve, you know, do whatever you got to do. It's right there on the lake. It's beautiful. And she had to stay back in LA and do some work. But I was up there for about five or six days by myself. And it coincided with my birthday. The second to last day I was up there was my birthday. So she shows up with a barbecue smoker, a nice Brinkman trash can smoker. I'm a big barbecue guy. And so I was like, oh, cool. And I remember I invited Billy Wayne Davis, a good buddy. He came up and hang out and we had some birthday pulled pork. I smoked a pork roast and I've done this

hundreds of times. And the way I usually do it is, you know, you smoke whatever you're smoking. And then, uh, especially if you're, if you think sitting on concrete or something non-flammable, I just leave the coals in the smoker. And over time, over a few hours, they burn themselves out, no harm, no foul, rather than, you know, eventually you got to scoop that shit out and dispose of it because you get too much of it. But as a new smoker, you know, there was no old ashes in there. So I spent like 14 hours smoking this pork roast, pork shoulder. And, you know, we ate it and had a good time. And then late that night, I was like, I'm just going to leave, leave the thing there. And we left the next morning. And so then the irony is, I remember it was a Sunday morning. We spent like two hours. I was up there for like a week. So,

you know, I, it had been well used, but we spent about two hours cleaning the cabin, leave it like you found it. You know, dad was nice enough to let me use it. Yeah. You know, clean the kitchen, clean the porch, blah, blah, blah. And I left the smoker on the back porch and I left the coals in it, the ashes in it. And I had done the math. I had stopped smoking it at about 8 o'clock PM the night before and we left at noon the next day. So we're going on 16 hours that these coals have been sitting in the smoker. And I even touched the coals and stuck my hand in there and stuff. And it was cool to the touch.

16 hours they've been sitting there. We drive the two hours back to L.A. We're literally pulling into our apartment. And she gets a phone call from the neighbor. And she's like, what? It's on fire. By the time we had left,

two hours later, it had disappeared. It was on the news. There's a lot. You're back on the news again? Back on the news. Like they didn't, I wasn't on the news.

I could imagine. But it was on some. They're like, this dirty cop burned this house. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Burned it on the news. I could imagine. But it was on. They're like, this dirty cop burned his house. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Burned it to the ground.

Are you sure it's the Coles, though? Great question, Ryan. I don't think it was the Coles, but the Riverside County Fire Investigator said, oh, it was the Smoker. Smoker must have done it. Must have. This is August. I want to go home. I want to work have. This is August. I want to go home. I want to work overtime.

This is August in the mountains of California. Are we sure it's not a coincidental electric fire? Are we sure somebody didn't do something? Exactly. Cool to the touch and be able to put your hand in there. There's nothing that should be able to pop out of that. Yep. And her dad could not have been cooler.

Yeah. Really? He could not have been cooler. Yeah. Really? He's like, I hated this fucking place. For insurance. And I was like, do you understand what I'm telling you? Like, this is about the worst phone call he could get other than like, hey, your daughter fell off a boat. Yeah.

And he's chill with it? Couldn't have been cooler. Insurance, rebuilt, bigger, flipped it, sold it. Boom. I think I inadvertently did him a favor. I was about to say, you made him some money. Like, something was up. He has since passed. But something was up because he was too chill.

Yeah, like, man, we got to fight. I wonder if he didn't do it. And at the end of the conversation, he goes, I got one question. I was like, what's that, sir? How was the barbecue? It's pretty good, sir. I don't know if it's worth all the trouble. But, yeah, that was a good time.

Damn, dude. Yeah. Well, that's a great way to end the episode right there, brother. Thank you for coming on. Before we end this officially, it's your first time here. I'm going to ask you now advice you would give to your 16-year-old self. Don't become a cop. And watch your carbs.

That's great advice. Find another line of work, dickhead. That's great advice. Plug and promote everything again, please. Pack a lunch now on YouTube. It's my first actual proper special audio version you can find digitally. There might still be some vinyl left at BlondeMedicine.com. And Boogie Monster every – when do we release that?

Every Tuesday with me and Kyle Kinane. Stoneberg's every Wednesday with me and my wife, Katie Strandberg-Stone. So, yeah. All right. Come see me on tour, dumbdavestone.com. Thank you. And guys out there, support the special. Go watch it.

Come see me on tour. Tickets are available at ryansickler.com. Thank you, as always. We'll talk to you all next week. Thank you.