The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - George Perez

Episode Date: July 8, 2019

My #HoneyDew this week is George Perez! George was born and raised in Orange, California. His parents moved there to give their family a better life but George couldn't stay out of trouble. At a time ...when George was turning his life around, his past came back to haunt him. He was spotted on tv and that led to his arrest. We talk about gang banging, gun fights, "Sawed-off Sundays" and so much more! George opens up about life in prison and getting acclimated to society once you're out. It's a Dewzee! Subscribe, download & review! Sponsor: Express VPN Go to http://expressvpn.com/HONEYDEW and find out how you can get 3 months free with a 1 year package!

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Starting point is 00:00:43 We're over here at Studio Jeans, doing it at your mom's house. I'm Ryan Sickler. You can find me on all social media at ryansickler.com, at Ryan Sickler, all that stuff. August 1st through 3rd, Minnesota. That's coming up, man. I'll be there. House of Comedy, come out, get your tickets, see me there August 1st through 3rd.
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Starting point is 00:01:40 good stuff all right um and if you're new to the show what we do over here is we highlight the low lights i always say that these are the stories behind the storytellers and today i'm very excited to have our storyteller here ladies and gentlemen george perez what's up my boy thank you for being here brother thank you uh george perez uh twitter instagram i told him i said you're gonna promote is what you want me to do? Yeah, I was going to tell you to go ahead and do it You're not wasting any time No, because you were like, hey, once I get off
Starting point is 00:02:12 get into that shit I've been to strip clubs Alright, you got 8 minutes left I'll get on Yes, please, promote whatever you like Alright, cool, George Perez George P Comedy on all social media july 17th i'm at oxnard levity live it's on a wednesday so get a sitter now august 23rd and
Starting point is 00:02:34 the 24th i'm at tiff's comedy club in new jersey august 20th through the 23rd i'm just going to be in new york looking around and uh august 31st i'm in the belly room at the comedy store so uh that's all i'm going to throw out for now because uh i want to get into this yeah man uh well thank you so much for being here thank you um i was very excited i know people started hitting us up on twitter and you're like i'd love to come on i was like i'd love to have you yeah uh let's just start off first with where you're from why don't you tell us originally where you're from and then we can just start going from there all right uh i'm from a awesome beautiful city called the city of orange in orange
Starting point is 00:03:16 county it's uh it's where they film big mama's house like you know those old style houses oh is that really where they did that yeah they filmed Lawrence films. Yeah. Oh, okay. They filmed it. But in my area, like now we didn't live in that area, but close. And I'm from Orange and I fucking grew up. It was an I chose the tough life because my parents kind of did good to get us out of where my brothers grew up. Which was where? Like Santa Ana border. Okay.
Starting point is 00:03:42 And then we came to Orange and uh that was that was a nicer neighborhood yeah it was nicer but it was like everybody that did good from the bad area came over there and kept doing bad palmdale these days yeah so you got how old are you when you get to orange that's where you're born i'm born and raised in orange yeah and how different is it today than it was back then oh dude i go back now and i just trip out like orange was like the kind of city where like we dude as little kids we already had like a bike crew there was like in seventh grade there was 20 of us we're called the bmx bandits and we would ride our bikes check out all the girls that played softball, go to arcades and, like, fight other kids from other schools.
Starting point is 00:04:29 Like, it was that kind of style in Orange. You know, skating, gangbanging, tagging. I did it all. It's crazy. So you say gangbanging. How did you get into gangs, and how old were you when you got into gangs at first? did you get into gangs and how old were you when you got into gangs at first you know um i would say like summer of seventh grade it was like just uh the it was the style and it's like we didn't i didn't get into it it was just like all of us just came to school eighth grade like hey we're
Starting point is 00:05:00 gonna shave our fucking heads and wear baggy pants and Nike's and Georgetown and shit that the school don't like. And we just started doing it. And we weren't even from anywhere because our family was from that gang. And they're like, you're not going to fucking be from here. We'll kick your ass. So we made our own. You made your own gang.
Starting point is 00:05:18 Yeah. It was a gang called would you stay bmx no no bmx band no this is the crazy shit so the bmx bandits got even we uh we started uh another one after that called aps against prejudiced skins because you gotta remember we're in an area where I really am the minority. Yeah. I am the minority now. It's like I'm a Mexican, but there's a lot of us, but not a lot. So the skinheads used to fuck with us, and we just started our own shit.
Starting point is 00:05:55 And then after that, people started losing. Like, a lot of my friends became from the enemy gangs that were from our city now. Like, I got buddies that became my enemies. And I was like, fuck. Why? Because they went to a different set? They moved. So people moved away.
Starting point is 00:06:16 Yeah. That's like the only way to get jumped out of a gang. For reals. It's like if your parents lose the house or can't afford rent, like, don't trip. I know about getting jumped in, but there's a jump out too yeah i didn't know you're in and out yeah no wonder people want to stay in for life oh yeah jump out the motherfucker well you know it's kind of like they'll let you out it's not even like you can always say you're out,
Starting point is 00:06:45 but your enemies don't give a fuck. And they're the ones that it's really tripping, you know what I mean? Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, your guys are like, okay, you're out, but everybody else is like, give a fuck. Out of what? My cousin's dead. They don't give a fuck that you have a job now and you're doing good.
Starting point is 00:07:00 So what's the, talk to me about when you first started getting in trouble. Like what was it that started small and got bigger um what did you start with like stealing or no i was never a thief i was never a thief for like i remember stealing at rouse once and like you know i remember just old we used to water balloons balloons make water balloons and i put it in my pocket right here and i was stupid ass walking around the store and shit and then my mom messes with me she gives me like a little hit on the stomach and she fills it i'm like fuck and you gotta remember dude like this is the era where like your parents would slap the shit out of you in the fucking in the in the aisle yes you i got slapped
Starting point is 00:07:45 the shit out of the car everything hell yeah yeah i knocked the cookie crisp down i got socked i remember too i had cookie crisps and she was like you want those and she hit me in the stomach and she's like what the fuck boom i love that you have a criminal element to you and the cereal you chose was cookie crisp oh shit you never thought of that no it's like it started yeah that's crazy that's fucking funny dude that's a good roast yeah and uh after that you know she kicked my ass like how you said i got my ass kicked on the car and then i got home my dad got his ass kicking in and i didn't steal after that i i don't i stole from like man we're going way ahead so So, yeah, bro, I would say just seventh grade, summer, like eighth grade, other kids would try to come fuck with us.
Starting point is 00:08:53 So you said skinheads. So at that same age, whatever, 12, 13, there was already skinheads? Yeah, Huntington Beach. Huntington Beach has their like, they fucking grow them there like marijuana. Skinheads? Yeah, like their bread. But those fours weren't trippingpping it was just like more of the people that are trying to get into it we're all trying to establish ourselves is what i'm trying to say and in the new era of like you know it was 1990 91 everyone's playing nwa and fucking snoop and all this and it's just
Starting point is 00:09:22 drive-bys are still going on yeah and it was it was crazy and we were just like yo we got to protect ourselves i remember in the beginning we had like white boys from our hood we had some samoans because they grew up in our area and it was just like mostly more to like protect ourselves i wasn't really trying to start shit it just became natural sometimes because you gotta remember like we're fucking funny dicks you know what I mean and I was like this in junior high I would fuck my teacher's name was miss Manson and Charles Manson he used to have he used to practice in a city up by us called uh Black Star Canyon it's an orange he had like a little cult shit there
Starting point is 00:10:04 like where he used to hang out i hear about all these caves and stuff he would do some shit is it like yeah all over there well it was black star canyon and it's i guess it's owned by white natives or something and they practice satanic shit like we would go there at night because they would have church at night and this is how like they scared like that's scarier to me than any gang yeah that's what we for real for real i know what you mean yeah and we would go up there at night and remember when mini trucks were in yeah that's what yeah we were in the mini trucks that's what everybody had back then yeah and we would go up there and it was fucking did you ever see him no he's in jail
Starting point is 00:10:46 then but his people anybody those people up there practicing they still had chains on the trees really yeah just seeing that at night would make me be like i'm getting the fuck out of here yeah i don't care how like they had emotion like no way dude you all could beat the shit out of me. I'd be that pussy. I'd be like, I'm gone, guys. I'm out. That's what we would do.
Starting point is 00:11:08 Like, if somebody knew, try to hang out with us. We're like, what's up, man? You want to go to Blackstar? But, like, you got to sit in the back of the truck. Fools would be fucking tripping and shit with baseball bats. But it was like a show for them they would have like their kids out at two in the morning but yeah fuck sorry i jump around no it's fine that's that's i love it yeah so all right so you're getting a little older now and i know you end up getting in trouble with
Starting point is 00:11:36 the law what age is that and what happens it's probably started at seven uh at 19 when it was like i got i got two gun charges. Because back then, having a gun was a misdemeanor. And people were blasting where I was at. Like, people were fucking shooting. So just to have one is a misdemeanor. Yeah. But it's really, it's nothing.
Starting point is 00:11:57 Because, you know, there's a famous saying, I'd rather be caught with than without. Yeah. You know? Like, hey, man, I'd rather fucking do five years and then have no more years so that was the whole shit installed in our head and dude it was crazy i remember my older brothers bro they're fucking different from me they're all bankers teachers really and your parents sound like they're good parents they're great parents were they together the whole time yeah that's amazing my dad had five other families like my
Starting point is 00:12:25 mom's the only one he stayed with but my dad was an undercover gangster five other families five other families he had a gang hell yeah i remember we bought him a tv and he threw it fucking he raised me i was still laughing maybe if he'd watch fucking fall guy he'd have four put a fucking show on that yeah and like he raised me so like i all my other brothers didn't get him i got him okay and like you could see it in the pictures like he's wearing a pendleton i'm wearing a pendleton all my other brothers are wearing like ocean pacific yeah you know what i mean gas cavaricci all that shit i was in at that time and my dad was like fuck that you're wearing levi's and a pendleton watch the bitches are
Starting point is 00:13:26 gonna love it i was tripping off fuck yeah they do it's crazy and that's what kind of started me and then we just i don't know man like we want to be the best comedians i wanted to be the best fucking gang member back then i remember watching american mean going fuck it all the 20 years a like i'm and that you were never scared i mean i was scared but i was like i'm in this i gotta give it all now i got i'm not i wasn't that fool that was like yo we're gonna go smoke these fools i was more like yo dog if they come we blast and anywhere we go as long as we're strapped we're safe so you got the gun charges just for having it yeah just for having it how where'd you get
Starting point is 00:14:05 picked where'd they pick you up we were in santa ana and uh we were going to a party and uh you know just fucking here's the thing i don't i do not know this life you're like what's going on why the fuck you got a gun i thought we were just going to gary's party man what the fuck's happening george has got two pistols in the back that's how it was yeah and i used to hang around white boys and all that would you put them under the seats would you keep them on hell no you had to have them on you like we thought we were ice cube remember boys under the shirt up what's up homie we got a problem like like it was like that we were crazy and we could fight so uh the first time you know we're stupid asses not i remember we were racing with another car just like it was girls we were chasing them and shit and then the cops got behind us and i was like i remember looked at the car were you driving no i was sitting shotgun because that's my nickname i always sat shotgun
Starting point is 00:15:09 that's me i sat shotgun and sometimes i had a sawed-off shotgun i was gonna say okay yeah yeah because we had those big dicky jackets and you would just keep that in there i had to we were never worried about that thing going off and shooting your own foot or anything. You can tell I wouldn't be good. One time though. God, is that safety on? Is that safety on? Yeah. Now, we didn't.
Starting point is 00:15:31 You guys probably took the safety off. Hell yeah. We was. Yeah. It was. I don't know. We didn't look at it like that. We didn't.
Starting point is 00:15:42 We didn't. Wow. Okay. You jump around. So I want to go back yeah all right so when you carried a saw it off what was the what was the reason for that versus you know where are you going that okay i'm glad you asked that because we i used to call it saw it off sundays taco tuesdays and saw it off sundays y'all
Starting point is 00:16:05 nine millimeter wednesdays baby what the fuck what was salt off sundays all about that was did that was the day the street sweeper came and that's what we used to call the guns it's just street sweeper so on salt off sundays we would all take our salt off shotguns and back in those days the party crews would throw these parties. And it was, dude, we're going to parties to get bitches and do drugs and fuck around. You know what I mean? I only had one kid back then. How old were you when you were a father first?
Starting point is 00:16:42 18. 18? Yeah. Man, you're a baby. I didn't go to health class. It was father first? 18. 18? Yeah. Man, you're a baby. I didn't go to health class. It was fucking hard. You missed it? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:49 God damn. 18? You're a dad? 18. Yeah. And now you're rolling around on salt off Sundays. Yeah. And who are you going?
Starting point is 00:16:58 Are you just going to intimidate? What are you doing? So these people would throw parties and shit. And they would put our name. Because before we were a gang, we were a party crew. We were getting into being a gang. Back in that time, everybody had party crews. And it was like, we were gangsters, but I didn't want to follow someone else's rules and shit.
Starting point is 00:17:31 Who I can and who I can't talk to then i and it's just a lot of politics involved and then uh yeah bro uh we go to parties and i did one time on sawed off sunday we fucking had to use the sawed off yeah what happened somebody died bro really yeah what happened we fucking this is before i wasn't bad oh yeah this shit's over with i won't i was i remember being a high school and this sawed-off sunday happened and fucking we went to a party and these fools try to set us up because they already found two guns. They would search you when you go into a party, so we would put the clip on the bottom of our shoes. We put the 9mm clips or the.45, and then we would get the gun,
Starting point is 00:18:15 wrap it in some kind of paper, and then put it in a plastic Ziploc bag and put it in a big gulp. Damn. Yeah. Fuck, sawed off sundays we need to do a show now called sawed off sundays holy shit yeah you put the gun in the big gulp and rolling like this so now you have a piece in the in the park yeah because we're going, we're getting a salt off in there. No.
Starting point is 00:18:45 Yeah. We're not getting the salt off. And you know, we got a little daring, your little 22 and shit hidden. Cause everyone's packing and you just gotta be safe. And we thought this party was safe and it was all bad. All bad.
Starting point is 00:18:58 Like we started fighting with these fools first. And then we were fucking them up. And then out of nowhere, I just see a rifle come out and there's like it's kind of like yeah it's kind of like the had you been in gunfire no i'm a senior in high school this is this is a summer to senior year you're about to be a new dad yeah i didn't even know yet and dude this is fucking crazy in a house this is going on this is in a house in a backyard people they fantasize about it but you don't realize that
Starting point is 00:19:34 there's smoke it's loud as fuck gunpowder burns your eyes like all that movie shit is so romanticized and you're like how you're exactly on it, dude. It was like. Slow-mo, though. No disrespect to anybody that's ever been to war, but I thought I was in a war. Yeah. I'm 17. Like, these things are really going now. We're not shooting at fucking bottles no more.
Starting point is 00:20:00 And my fucking, one of my friends, I'm not going to say say his name or shit but this fucking poor kid's only 15 14 years old and he's fucking with the business pulls his shit out just starts dumping boom boom i'm talking like people like this is how it's like like i've never heard this kind of gun before and like how you said like when it hits brick yeah all the pieces because we don't know how to fucking shoot though we're missing everything like i remember pulling my bandana up what the fuck oh shit for reals cholos change their dress code they get we need to wear the bandanas higher get them up yeah and dude we hit one of them and like like it nothing stopped and our people scattering everywhere so they're just running all women are yeah girls are screaming we're trip excuse me
Starting point is 00:21:07 we're like we're in shock i don't even know that we've hit anybody i just fucking oh i'm not even trying to make this funny but it's fucking funny is we all overshot everybody had to reload no you emptied and yeah you know what i mean we're like put the abba zabba down to give me a clip bitch i don't know what happened bro like it's just now they're running and we're running but this is the fucked up part is their cars are dude i got a fucking anxiety hearing this jesus they're outside now no no no no we're in the backyard they blocked us off and behind us is a is a spike fence that only leaves like a three foot gap their jump we're going
Starting point is 00:21:59 through this shit because our cars are in the front and if if we run that way, we're going to die, bro. These fools are ready for us. Now this shit turns into the movie The Warriors. I remember The Warriors. I'm at least, fuck, three hours walking distance from my house, and I'm at the beginning of one of the most deadliest fucking cities in california santana there's a gang on every fucking street and i just remember fucking i
Starting point is 00:22:36 grabbed three of my homies and i was just like look for because this is how fucking stupid I used to be. So we used to wear size 48 pants. God damn. What did you hold it up with? I used to wear my football shorts. Because it made me look like I had a bigger ass. All the gangsters know this shit. Like whenever you see gangsters back me up. Like, whenever you see gangsters, back me up. This saved my life, bro.
Starting point is 00:23:09 I fucking, two of the other fools that are from my gang were on the same, were on the football team. And I just remember going, hey, dog, take your fucking pants off, homie. Take your fucking shirt off. Roll that shit up. Pull your socks down, dog. And just pretend we're fucking jogging running in the group just do this and fucking sure enough bro nothing works as planned one fool's like fuck this boom runs now the the cops like we don't even there's cops now there's helicopters and like they caught a lot of
Starting point is 00:23:41 us me and my other friend we ran into a liquor store and i remember the guy was like what's up homie please help us he's a help you from one like these fools are trying to shoot at us and i remember him going where the fuck you from and we told him where we're from and he was just like okay cool i know some of your homies i was in prison with them he fucking yeah he holy this fool hides us in the back like of his warehouse of his liquor store he hides us in the back of his warehouse, his liquor store. He hides us in the back, and he's just like, and you know what, bro? I remember I just had him 30 bucks,
Starting point is 00:24:10 because we wanted to buy more alcohol, and I was like, homie, just take this money. Just let me use your phone. And the crazy shit is we called one of my friends, an older homie, and he came with a gun, and they fucking caught him outside i feel bad for this shit he rolled up just to come help yeah because yeah and i remember those fools that were looking for us coming in that liquor store telling the fight you see anybody in here and he's like i
Starting point is 00:24:35 didn't see nobody and fuck yo sickler one of my fucking best friends man i won't say your name but i love you bro you used to be my neighbor and i know you don't talk to me no more because you turned into jesus but you saved me dog i called this fool up square asshole i go look dog these fools are trying to kill me and he was just like i'll be there right now shows up honda accord i'll never forget that shit 1994 or 95 honda accord shows up i I fucking jump in that car on my friend. And it was the fucking craziest shit of my life. So when do you find out that someone did get hit? Oh, these fools were saying it.
Starting point is 00:25:15 Like, y'all fools killed my homie. We're going to kill you. When they were like, these fools were chasing us now. Saying that, they're running. Yeah. Oh, shit. Like, 45 of us went to that bar 45 yeah jesus christ hey dude my dad had a lot of kids they were all cousins
Starting point is 00:25:33 and yeah bro it was it's a party crew the deeper the crew and like and like fucking 28 of us 28 of them all got locked up. 28. Yeah, I'm glad they did because they would have killed my homies. They would have killed us if the cops didn't fucking pick us up. You know what I mean? It was ruthless, bro. So did you get picked up?
Starting point is 00:25:56 No. You didn't. He held you long enough. You got in your buddy's car and you were out. I got in the car, got home. And you know how that shit is. Meet up. We had a meeting that night and shit.
Starting point is 00:26:03 I don't know what happened. And wow, you want to hear some crazy shit yeah i'm fucking captain of the football team now thought i got away with this shit just got my first tattoo this one right here that i have on my neck what's this uh it says mother and father forgive me for my crazy life damn bro they kick our doors down and raid the house the cops cops how long after like four months three months a while yeah they get you know they gather information and all that shit you know it, it was a homicide. Yeah. So they kick your door down. Kick my family's house. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:26:52 We have a nice pad now. We got a two-story pad in Orange. My dad's doing. Dude, I could tell you a story. My dad's crazy as fool. And yeah. Your brother's bankers and shit. And they're coming in and raiding the house. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:03 No. Holy shit. My brother was asb president bro yeah that was some shit but you were captain of the football team yeah but i was only you know i will i don't know i think i deserved it but now that i look back i was like i was a fucking punk but then it got back to school oh no like they didn't they were looking for the weapon oh okay they were looking to gather evidence and you know mexicans were pack rats my fucking mom if if storage words open her fucking garage these motherfuckers they would go down to tangy's my mom had shit in there like like a hoarder to the max and i remember they opened the
Starting point is 00:27:49 garage and the cops were like i ain't fucking even trying to go in this bitch and yeah man like they took my clothes it was weird because they were like back then there was a brandon called ben davis you know and it's a little ape dr dre used to always wear it on his shit and yeah the shooter had that on and we all had those shirts so they took it they took our they took my clothes it was it was a trip that shit that shit that fucked up sports for orange high in because they were all good players. Yeah. For real. If you all want to see tonight's football game, you'll have to go down to the penitentiary.
Starting point is 00:28:37 Salt Off Sundays is still scheduled as planned. Hey, guys, we're going to take a quick break to tell you about our sponsor, ExpressVPN. If you believe that you're not being snooped on or that nobody cares about your online data, well, I'm sorry to disappoint you guys, but you're wrong. Because you listen to my show, I know you're clearly smart enough to understand that your privacy is under attack. Hackers, governments, ad companies, and ISPs are gobbling up your data like all of it. That's why I recommend getting the software I trust to protect my online activity, ExpressVPN. Their apps use powerful encryption to secure your data.
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Starting point is 00:30:17 So when do you actually get caught and what do you get caught for when you go to prison? Well, man, there's so many county visits before that. Okay, so we'll talk about that. What's the first time you actually they got you and put you in county? And for what? Damn, I remember that one. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:40 Me and my friends. You call them visits. You know, that's what you say like like like when you go to jail or prison especially when you go to the county jail you don't realize people there are fighting for their fucking life they're going to court they're fucking stressing they've barely lost their house they barely like their kids are turning on them now your fucking girlfriend's fucking someone else i don't give a telling you the truth you're going to some shit so you don't want to be in there and be like oh yeah i'm only doing 30 days they're gonna look at you like fuck you home i'm fighting 25 years of life so you just say that what's up with you all hey you know what homie i'm just visiting i'm stopping by not trying to fuck up your program hey i'm just gonna do my little time walk through here oh get down brother hell yeah that's okay so it's a respect thing
Starting point is 00:31:29 that's done like that yeah that makes sense i remember yeah as you say like your kids are your world's falling apart yeah and dude i i've never witnessed it but it happened in another barracks because they they have you in barracks sometimes or they got you in cell living. And like it's sections. And in the next one, we call them the gangster mods, gangster modules. They have you on a 23-hour lockdown and you get one hour to come outside. That's it? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:59 One hour daylight? Because like whether you know this or not, the most craziest people are fighting to go to court right now. They've been subpoenaed back. So that's where it's fucking going down. And they don't want no problems. So they're just like, you know what? Put them in the fucking cell for 23 hours. Give them the minimum.
Starting point is 00:32:15 And yeah, bro. That's fucking. That's like the first time I ever fucking was like, wow. How long were you there the first time it's like a month is that what is that a typical like a 30-day visit well the first time i was only there for like the gun charge and then like they let me out with two or three days i went to court and oh you know this fucking kid dude how was that yeah no the judge was like hey he was like what the fuck sawed off sundays i imagine if i told the judge was like, hey. No. He was like, what the fuck, sawed off Sundays?
Starting point is 00:32:45 Imagine if I told the judge it was sawed off Sundays. It was sawed off Sundays, your honor. Bring the sawed off, get in free. Do you want me to pay to get in? No, like, I just remember the judge going, you know what, man? Like, you really don't have nothing on your record. You just have vandalism and shit. I really don't want to fuck with you, you know?
Starting point is 00:33:13 Probation. don't have nothing on your record you just have vandalism and shit i really don't want to fuck with you you know uh probation now this other time we fucking try to steal a car and we had we we we took the car what kind of car was it i don't know we were just doing it for the rims okay took the whole car just yeah no but my fucking crazy friend did gta like he for we pulled this bitch out the car with the gun to her oh my god you mean you carjacked yeah you didn't steal a car yeah carjack we were like bitch get the fuck out what kind of fucking rooms were they the kmcs that's that that was worth pulling that lady out huh at that time god yeah and what'd you do sell the rims no we dude it was all bad it was all bad it sounds like it started all bad yeah we got into a high speed chase what and like i was in the other car because when you do a car jacking the correct way, you gotta have some... Let me get my notes here real quick for the correct way to do it.
Starting point is 00:34:16 Jesus. Oh, shit. Are you still gonna introduce me to your friend at the stand? Yeah, of course. You're like, just don't let george perform on sunday hey monday to saturday bro that's all i can tell you monday to saturday so uh the the right way to do a carjacking is you gotta have two cars one in the front one in the back so you hide the car you're hiding the car now so when you're hiding the car. You're hiding the car now. So when I'm hiding the car that you're going to jack.
Starting point is 00:34:46 No, we were in this car. Okay. I'm in the front car. Whoever jacked the car is in that car. And the other person's in the back. I see. It's kind of like shadowing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:56 So the cop doesn't see the license plate or nothing. And if you see a cop, the front car, he'll back up and go on the side. So we have someone in the back and the side okay so that you're backing up alongside the driver's door yes got it you know i mean kind of like fucking fast and furious swoop and swat i know yeah and oh man the guy in the back fucked up the guy in the back fucks up and then the fucking lights turn on the fucking cops are behind us now nah i'm lucky i wasn't in the car i was i was one of the guiders see i want to ask you this too there's a lot of people
Starting point is 00:35:30 involved in shit like this especially in gangs and everybody's got to do their fucking job even if it's worth i know we're talking about crime but in order to do it everybody's got to be isn't that a lot of like i don't know if this motherfucker's gonna pull his weight like don't you worry about that kind of shit but like like everybody's got to do their part and do it right and i know this one guy gets fucked up yeah i mean we everybody has that full but like our guy that fucked up he was a gunner so he would just shoot motherfuckers we'd be like hey dog i ain't tripping that you fucking lost the dope because you blasted you shot these other like the r4 was a gunner he was just like don't give a fuck i'll like it's crazy the craziest gangsters they used to be lanes when they're a little like
Starting point is 00:36:15 they used to get punked and beat up and now they're just like what's up bitch i'll shoot you god yeah it's crazy so what did he do that made the tip the cops off you know just fucking not seeing the cop and fucking that's a big part of it they were right there the whole thing is is i'm leading the group so the guy behind me he's gonna notice everywhere i'm going i'm i'm trying not to see the cops in the front and he's trying not to see the cops in the back this motherfucker wasn't looking at the people in that car weren't looking around so i made a move because i i wanted i think i wanted to turn right we're yeah i wanted to turn right because i wanted to i wanted to ditch the car and that boy a local we were going to cover it
Starting point is 00:37:01 and just take the rims and leave the car there you know what i mean and sure enough the fucking cop swoops he notices that car takes off and then our stupid asses rookies we take off too so boom so now he's got to pick one of you to go after though no he's on the fucking deuce patch so we got another i got a great hunter court i got you know what i mean like they notice all of us the activity and i'm pretty sure the girl that we fucking stole the car from i was like yo man it's these motherfuckers you know what i mean and uh yeah we got you got caught we got caught that's that was my next gun charge no they just pulled us over they couldn't pin us to the car or nothing like the good thing about the gang i was from is
Starting point is 00:37:45 we all went to kindergarten together dog we were like our families we all stayed in that little community like that's why we loved each other we went to kindergarten elementary junior high now we're like dog it's the original group and we i still talk to these guys like it's it's a it's a trip like i our kids growing up together too now it's fucking awesome then they probably have i mean no stories but god i mean lives they live yeah well don't hear it when they listen to stuff like this and watch your comedy and i feel bad because i i i got custody of my son when he was four so he kind of witnessed me he witnessed me transition from a gangster to what i am now
Starting point is 00:38:25 gotcha know what i mean from gangster to construction worker to to to like responsible dad to like it was weird dog like i and that's why i love my friends because they'd be like hey homie don't kick it georgie's at home dog don't let your mom watch me go with them i'm like hey i just don't want motherfuckers to think i'm a bitch now because i ain't hanging out they're like get out of here dog or, we would just have functions together. Like, yeah, man, my son changed my life because his mom turned into a big-ass fucking speed whore. And I was like, fuck this.
Starting point is 00:38:55 Yeah, dude. Super dog. She fucking knows more cholos than Art LeBeau. This fuck for reals. All right. Let's go back to prison. We're already out of prison. Let's jump back to prison.
Starting point is 00:39:10 All right. So you got a second gun charge on that. That's a visit, though. Again, that's another visit. That's another visit. All right. And then what happens? I'm a good dad now.
Starting point is 00:39:20 I'm a real good dad. I'm playing basketball again. And I'm playing basketball at the park and fucking i'm not a comic yet but i can fucking roast and i'm beating you and i'm roasting this full bagging on him hard and shit and this guy swings on me misses swings again and i just go nuts boom like i remember i remember picking him up and slamming him boom and i beat the shit out of this guy and then i become a comedian and within a year and a half to two years i come out on that show mtv your mama yeah yep and now i'm at your mom's house studio how crazy full circle man and uh the guy that i beat up recognizes me watching it yeah watching your mama and since
Starting point is 00:40:16 he didn't know who i was it's a excuse me it's a john doe case so there's no statute of limitations there's no like once we find out who the fuck he is i think oh so you guys have this fight and then you just walk away and leave yeah i beat his ass and i remember like i remembered you ever beat someone up so much and they keep getting back up you're like fuck dog i'm gonna kill this fuck i don't leave no i've been listen i've been in a lot of fucking fights i've been in a lot of fights and they're either going to fuck down or i'm going down i ain't one of them all you know what i mean i took my ass well no i mean i've got my ass whooping but like this fucking dude is like
Starting point is 00:40:56 oh man he was like roddy piper and they live just keep coming yeah just keep coming like i and i remember like like oh shit like you remember when your brother would jump on you and be like you're gonna fucking stop yeah yeah i remember being i don't like look homie i don't want to fuck you up no more dog just stop and he was like no fuck that shit like i need to get mine and i was was just like, oh, man. He wasn't going to stop until he at least got a hit in. Yeah, like he wanted to get his. And I was like, nah, man. So I let him up. And I remember this was the last blow I got.
Starting point is 00:41:35 I remember letting him up. And he was a haymaker, dude. So he came at me back. And I remember grabbing, like, just grabbing him. And, like, jumping him into the dirt with my shoulders in his stomach. And I knocked the wind out of him. came at me back and i remember grabbing like just grabbing them suple like and like jumping them into the dirt where my shoulders in the stomach and i knocked the wind out of them and i was like fuck so that's when i run to my car and i leave i'm gone i'm done people at the park know me they've seen me at sawed off sundays they know
Starting point is 00:41:58 they know not to they know like yo dog yeah you no one's snitching on george no one gave my name up or nothing dude so how long after the fight to the yo mama show i'm guessing like a year and a half holy shit two years almost two years you become a comedian you're on this show this dude sees you i'm a d i'm a i'm a dj at a strip club in the daytime i just started it's a fucking friday night friday day the shift ends at 6 30 and i'm gonna make like 400 bucks it's 605 610 the fucking gang unit kicks the fucking doors down fuck it it. And I've kind of transitioned out of my Pendletons. You know, now I'm chilling. I got a kid now.
Starting point is 00:42:50 You know what I mean? I dropped him off at school. I hate the way they used to look at me, the parents. Like, what the fuck? You know what I mean? And boom. They take me in, dude. Because that guy reported it.
Starting point is 00:43:04 I'm still filming, too. We're still filming. They're trying to get me in, dude. Because that guy reported it. I'm still filming, too. We're still filming. They're trying to get me on season two of this Your Mama shit. Because they filmed it in brackets. They did the first. They did Rose. Not Rose. You did Your Mama.
Starting point is 00:43:18 Then they did Best of LA. And I'm now in Best of LA. And boom. You know, my brothers, they got money and shit. They care about me. They bail me out. I'm now in best of LA and boom, you know, my brothers, they got money and shit. They care about me. They bail me out,
Starting point is 00:43:30 give me a lawyer and I lose. You lose. Yeah. And I fought it for maybe two and a half years. I fought this thing, this fight. What it, well,
Starting point is 00:43:40 how do you lose? No, like the fighting, like that. It wasn't me. i didn't i should have manned up because i remember the the judge was like look homie i'll give you four years half time and i was just like fuck that all right so hold on are you getting this amount of time now because of your priors like they're starting to stack and they're going all right well this is
Starting point is 00:44:02 what you get or would would you normally have gotten four years just from a fist fight on the court? That's a great question. I feel like you wouldn't have got that. I feel like with your priors, they were like, all right, we've got to put you away for a little bit. I thought it was – I thought – I mean, was there any damage other than the pride? Is he blind or is he –
Starting point is 00:44:21 He has a metal plate on his cheek. From what you did? Well, he should have been better at basketball. Yeah, like I guess I broke his ice hockey. All right. I'm really a nice person. Now we're starting to get somewhere. That might have been a four-year bid on that.
Starting point is 00:44:41 Yeah. You know that skim when Terminator pulls his cheek off he's got that fucking thing up in there yeah like i think that happened like you you ever like you ever remember being in a fight and you hit somebody so perfect you're like that one didn't hurt yeah yes that's the punch i land on him right here it didn't hurt me at all but like i fucking felt his lungs like take a look like he that snapped him and oh man so they come get you and they arrest you like that yeah the door open take you we go to fucking court this fool's coming with the breathing machine and shit nah i was yeah i was fucking tripping at your grandma's oxygen tank motherfucker his sister's d8 what his sister's d8 oh yeah they were coming
Starting point is 00:45:38 the the original offer was 12 years. 12 years? Yeah, because assault and great bodily injury. A GBI carries a minimum of three years enhancement. No matter what time I get, they're going to give me three. That's what the judge was like. Look, homie, I'm going to give you a year, but I got to give you three. And I was just like, look, dog, I didn't do this shit. remember like it felt weird to lie but it was the judge he fucking lies too I remember everybody yeah you know I was just like I was dude I would have won an Emmy I was just like look homie I'm fucking doing good right now I got a fucking kid there's so much more shit going on
Starting point is 00:46:20 in my life my fucking my baby's mom was pregnant i'm like dude like you're gonna fucking put me away like i've changed i don't this isn't me no more and he was just like boom nope motherfucker was cool as fuck dude like for anybody that's fighting a crime you you gotta have you gotta have family members and people that are something in society. Everybody wrote me letters. Like, my brothers reached out. They had all their friends that were somebody. I had to do that for a friend that went to prison. Yeah. Character letters.
Starting point is 00:46:52 Yeah. And the judge was like, damn, homie, you are changing. You know what I mean? And he was just like, I'm going to give you three years, and I'm striking out. Like, I can't strike out the great bodily injury, but I'm striking out the other thing. And you're going to do three years and i'm striking out like i can't strike out the great bodily injury but i'm striking out the other thing and you're gonna do three years and i was like fuck yeah i'm gonna do a year and a half because you do halftime is that right yeah so three and the day you lose in court that day when he says no you're going to prison that from there right right from there yeah right
Starting point is 00:47:21 there no i mean like yeah like you get to say goodbye or whatever, and then they take you. Hell no. They take you. Don't they walk you right back to the back? Well, actually, they don't. Like, they said guilty, and now I'm in custody, and then, like. Yeah, walk me through it. Because right now, if I'm putting myself in your shoes, I'm like.
Starting point is 00:47:39 Because jail's different than prison. Fuck yeah, jail fucking sucks. Jail is different than prison. Prison. You're going to prison. Jail is worse than prison. Prison. You're going to prison. Jail is worse. Wait, sorry. Which prison are you going to?
Starting point is 00:47:48 Where are they sending you? Right now, we don't know because what happens is if you're in L.A. or from Orange County or some places in San Diego, they send you to a reception yard. A reception yard is like you go and you get interviewed. They see what kind of a criminal you are, and then they dictate what prison you're going to do the rest of your time in. They want to see how you act first or where you are. Like, damn, we need to send this fool to the psych ward.
Starting point is 00:48:17 We need to send this fool to the medical one. Like they find, oh, man, this fool's a killer. We got to have him on level four yard, level three yard. Or you know what? This guy's going to go home in a a year and a half let's just put him in a fire camp so that's what they do they've valid uh not validate you that's something now uh yeah validate you but not that's you're not understanding and somebody else would like what i'm yeah fuck that validate shit they what's that shit called? It sounds like a screening process. Yes,
Starting point is 00:48:45 exactly. Yeah. They screen you here. We don't call it salt off Sundays. It's screening Sunday. It's a lot different. So yeah, like they screen you.
Starting point is 00:48:59 So what do they decide to put you? Uh, are you going with violent criminals? Yeah. Because of my crime. Like they,. Like they have a point system. And I starts off at, I think, 84 points. If you have 84 points, you're at a level for maximum security. They add up how many years you're doing, what you're charged for.
Starting point is 00:49:24 And what have you what has happened to you why you've been incarcerated before i hit prison i was already in a riot we we were in a riot in the county really yeah like i went to court with the fucking red jumpsuit like yeah dude it was just it was rocking what was that like just scary as fuck that's what i'm saying everything about prison sounds terrifying the riot is fucking crazy bro it was it was like but are you all on one team are you against the guards or is it a free for all everybody for themselves everybody's your race against any other because that's what i always see that is fucking with you but the whites you guys run with us you hang out at the mexicans i um i watched this i watched a lot of the docs on netflix and i saw this one where i want to say it was arizona
Starting point is 00:50:11 where you have to learn the real estate of the of the room and where the end of this one bunk was that's where the mexicans started that's their that was their floor their floor. And you were not supposed to go and put anything on your bunk on this side. And this white dude kept doing it. And they said something. Out of respect, they came to the head, whoever the white guys are, and said, look, man, you better get your boy in check over there. Yeah, you better handle it. He's stepping on our line.
Starting point is 00:50:39 This far. He's stepping across to put his shit on that bed. We're not digging it. Two times they told him. So the white guys had to tell the other white guy listen we don't have any problems with those dudes if you fucking do it one more time they're gonna kill you and we're gonna let them we don't want any trouble and that dude was he was like oh he didn't fuck up again man he was putting his bag on his side every time see like where i was at it was crazier than that like what would have happened is all right wait let's go back day one in prison uh-huh are you walking in you're already in your suit
Starting point is 00:51:11 because of the riot and everything no and are you scared as fuck no how do you feel day one prison is different when you go to prison you're not you're not allowed to take no property from the county like when you get to prison they tell you hey what are you gonna do with the property you're not allowed to take no property from the county like when you get to prison they tell you hey what are you gonna do with your property you're gonna donate it or do you're gonna send it home so i had money in my books and i sent all my property home i wanted you can't take shit you can't take tennis shoes nothing you got to get it all there and it was fucking scary bro they strip you butt naked like butt naked put your arms out wiggle your fingers fucking lift up your nutsack put back your dick skin open your asshole cough wiggle your fucking toes back of your
Starting point is 00:51:52 everything god damn in front of women like like like it's like you mean guards and stuff yeah like but it's it's there's desk like they're they're doing uh you're you're getting checked you're getting processed going through processing so they're telling her like nuts are clear whatever and they're typing that shit in no the guards are doing it first because before you get any contact with anybody else they want to make sure you don't have a weapon so boom you do that they they they throw you in a cell and they give you this orange jumpsuit it's disgusting do you remember your number f-5-5-9-8-7 f-5-5-9-8-7 i'm an f like it goes by a number system that yeah uh a numbers and b numbers
Starting point is 00:52:42 they've been in prison like in the 70s. Oh, they're lifers? No, they just like that. Sometimes you don't lose your number until you're off parole. Oh, really? So if you get picked up and go back in, you're still an A or a B or whatever.
Starting point is 00:52:57 Yeah, and it's kind of respect. People are like, oh, shit, this fool's a B number, dog? a b number dog and the the last two numbers of your uh of your number they dictate when you get to go to canteen which is what what is canteen canteen is commissary where your store then that where you go buy food accessories you know fucking deodorant toothpaste soap see and i see things on that too in these docs where like they tell you never borrow because this one do so what these what these guys would do we would say hey can i can you spot me i just want to get this candy bar and i got like okay oh yeah the candy but then somebody else could come along and say i'm gonna buy george's debt and he pays that debt now Now he owns your ass.
Starting point is 00:53:45 Nah. That's how it is in other ones. Not where I was at. I would have fucking stabbed. See, I'd be scared about everything. Everything. I wouldn't do anything. You'd be like, I don't want no big roots. I would lay on my bunk and not fucking move.
Starting point is 00:53:58 That's where they'll kill you. Then I would definitely move. I told you I'm not coming out for prison i'd have been dead at day one hell yeah he's laying there already get him uh sleep in sundays all right so you're now in prison and when do they yeah let's go back to what you said yes go back um i had a situation of what you're saying so there was a druggie in my dorm and uh i had a very good name for myself in prison and this dude wanted to see where i was at because in their head they were like this was a fucking comedian hey fuck this dude oh so they did know that yeah
Starting point is 00:54:52 they were like hey homie yeah he's from a hood yeah i know where he's from but no man this fool he's out there in hollywood hanging out with other races and the gays you're not supposed to do that shit i got tested a lot bro i had to fucking fight a lot look look look at that shit my fucking hands are fucking you know i mean this is prison knuckles huh you ever been finger banged by a prison knuckle bitch pussy will taste like top ramen can i say that yes you did you did so this fucking fool this shit still fucks me up i had a good name i had a good credit line and this fool there's people in there that want you to fight yeah i feel like that right they're not going anywhere and fuck you exactly
Starting point is 00:55:44 they're like you know homie this this little George right here, shotgun. We're going to see if he's down. Yeah, yeah. You know, we're going to see if he's down. So he goes, hey, man, the homeboy picked up something off me and he says, you're going to pay for it. And I was like, what? He reversed it. He goes, no, he'll pay for it.
Starting point is 00:56:02 So I was like, hey, homie, i want you to go with me and i'm gonna fuck him up and he still owes you i don't know your shit so this fucking fool looked up on me he goes yeah homie i remember because you got to do it respectfully you can't just disrespect someone like even if you've been disrespected you're allowed to you're allowed to handle it but i wanted to be pro with this i want you don't know what i mean so i remember walking up to him hey homie this fool said that you put my name to pay your debt he goes yeah i did and i said all right look i need you to get your gloves on because like when you fight if you have marks on your face or something they they throw you in
Starting point is 00:56:41 solitary confinement oh you get it you too huh yeah so i was like look homie put your gloves on and meet me in the restroom and where are you getting gloves how do you make just anything work gloves just so you don't cut your hand right and i remember i took this fool in the fucking restroom this is probably the best fight i've ever had in my life so he's like let's do it you both go into the restaurant he's a druggie and like dude i'm in prime shape i'm doing at least 400 pull-ups a day a thousand fucking push-ups burpees i'm jogging i'm not doing i'm not even where are you jogging in the yard the prison yard in that one hour yeah no i was when you're in prison they give you every i. I worked on the yard. I was yard crew.
Starting point is 00:57:25 Okay. So I was out there. I was fucking darker than Shaquille O'Neal's neck. Like, I was fucking. For reals. I remember they used to call me Purple Love, Purple Rain. They're like, hey, Purple Rain. Your skin was that dark. Dude, I get dark.
Starting point is 00:57:41 And I take this fool in the fucking restroom and i beat his fucking ass like like like you since he's my same race he's he's he's not my enemy i can't kick him on the ground i can't i can't do nothing like that i remember just knocking him out get up and just i just kept and i and i remember afterwards i was like lookie. I'll tell you something about, what is your race? Mexican. I'll tell you something about Mexicans. I watch a lot of boxing. You all don't fucking quit.
Starting point is 00:58:12 Yeah. You remind, that's what I'm saying. That guy that kept getting up, like, I want mine. It makes sense to me, because they won't, somebody's always got to throw the towel on a Mexican fighter. Always, like, no, no, no, you can't go back. Yeah. They keep coming and keep coming and keep coming
Starting point is 00:58:26 if they threw the talent on me i'll start cleaning so you beat his ass i beat his ass and i i remember too my homeboy the guy that instigated all this shit i still talked to him he got out of prison man he's doing so good in life i'm fucking proud of him because this fool he's been locked up like 25 years of his 50 years of life what's he a b what's his letter he's like a fucking he's i don't know he's not even a number he's the kids motherfuckers like half his life he's probably a c or a d number man he's been in prison half his life yeah and juvenile hall like all that shit yeah ah yeah i see yeah i seen another day it was it was a trip because he he looks like he's 35 the sun has never hit him oh yeah i didn't think anything
Starting point is 00:59:15 like that he's never had sugar or salt he's like he's in fucking shape and it's a trip he's like hey homie sometimes i just want to like fucking kick my kid's ass so they'll lock me up hey like yeah i'm just like fuck you're doing good dog and like yeah bro like the transition is fucking weird so you're in prison right yeah and or do people come visit this family come oh yeah man i i had an awesome family. Dude, my daughter was born when I was in prison, bro. That shit killed me. I'll bet. First time I ever seen her was on my birthday, 2007. How old was she?
Starting point is 00:59:55 She was 8, 10 months. Okay. I seen her before that when I went to court sentencing. I seen her when she was like two months. It was a trip. That's the first time you saw her was in the courtroom? Oh. I remember we made a cake when we came back because we got like 10 Cinnabons, fucking
Starting point is 01:00:13 squished them. Yeah, we put syrup. Did you do anything and everything in prison to make fucking fun? Are you scared to sleep at night and stuff when you first get in there? Or do you know people in there at that time? Do you feel protected or unprotected? How do you feel? It's kind of like a reaction.
Starting point is 01:00:36 I don't know people, but people know people. I know people from their gang or they know people from my gang. They know my uncle. people from their gang or they know right from my gang they know my uncle and with me it was kind of fucked up because like mtv your mama's out so people know me but they don't like me you know they're like oh fuck this boy like at the end of the day man there's a lot of people and there were nothing to do but just hate and be mad and they're like you know fuck you for having something i want it and i'm in here because i take it and i'm gonna fucking take it from you so are you you mentioned a dorm right so are you do you have more than one cellmate or is it four people in one how does that work or is it
Starting point is 01:01:15 open floor what is it i used to be work space i used to be in a cell living. As time goes by in prison, if you're doing good in your programming, you're working, they lower your points. So I went from a two-man cell to a dorm living, which is probably from the end of that wall to the parking lot. Oh, wow. That's big. 100 men living in that dorm.
Starting point is 01:01:48 And these are behaved, well-behaved? Kind of. Trusting enough to put you all together like that. Everybody at the last prison I was at was only five years away from home, max. Some of us were a year away months they've but they've come from bigger prisons and uh yeah that answers that right so what was the what's this what would you say is the scariest part of prison there's a lot i don't know because it's interesting to watch a guy like you that i wouldn't think would be scared admit that shit from in prison is fucking scary.
Starting point is 01:02:27 You know, everything in there is scary, man. I mean, that would mistake and identity is what happens the worst. This happened to one of my homies. Fucking. I'm so I'm not glad it happened to him but i'm just glad he he showed me how to how to the situation's crazy bro so uh there was this guy that raped this chick in utah and he used my friend's name not knowing that's my friend so they were looking for this fool and they pulled over my friend is all tatted up and shit so he already been in prison got out he was like fuck you guys like you know who the fuck i am i don't care if someone used my name so they locked them up
Starting point is 01:03:18 this is the they locked them up for seven days and his charges were rape and they ask you when you do you want to go to general population or do you want to go protective custody you never want to go protective custody i never i don't want to live with the pedophile rapist oh that's that's all those guys yeah and then now you're no good you can never walk the main line you like there's no program for them so this fool was like look homie you you gotta be a man and take it you go and you're like look homie i'm in here for rape it's a mistaken identity you know who the fuck i am we've been busting together i'm not the person they say but everybody has a right to be like nah fuck that i want to fight you so every day for seven days
Starting point is 01:04:02 whenever there was free time he had to fight whoever wanted to fight him every day every day for seven days whenever there was free time he had to fight whoever wanted to fight him every day every day and more than one person if they yeah hell yeah fuck yeah but that's what that's what they do to rapists no that's like he was if you're a rapist they'll kill you kill you oh so because he's like you know it's a mistaken identity yeah but we still want to fight yeah oh man and you you got to tough it out you got to man up so i seen that happen to somebody man i didn't know this fool but i kind of knew him because a lot of people don't want to meet you bro yeah a lot of people don't want to they don't want you to know shit they're just like fuck them i want to get out of here i'm like a lot of i trip out a lot of people i've been locked up with, they hit me up. They're like, homie, is this really you, dog?
Starting point is 01:04:45 I knew you were going to do good. Just please. And I respond back, and I'm like, do you talk to this? Like, I don't talk to anybody from prison, dog. I'm like, why are you talking to me? He's like, no, there's something about you. I'm like, I knew it. And yeah, that mistaken identity, I've seen people die, bro.
Starting point is 01:05:00 Man. Like, murdered. Like, on the spot. I mean, they're not, not like you don't die immediately they fucking helicopter lift you or whatever they fucking take you away but you're dying you're fucking dying how you're going out because the motherfuckers uh imagine like people make fucking knives out of deodorant that they just roll on concrete until they become so fucking hot. And then they sharpen that shit and they break it and snap it in you.
Starting point is 01:05:29 Jesus Christ. Out of deodorant? Yeah. Out of the case. Yeah. The plastic little shell around it. Yeah. You just melt that shit.
Starting point is 01:05:38 It's 112 degrees. You're in the fucking desert. I keep looking at that dog head. My bad. And we're talking about prison. I'm like, that fucking dog's in here to search right now because that's a canine. I was like, my fucking ass clinched. I was like, do I have anything in my ass right now?
Starting point is 01:06:03 Have you ever hidden anything in your ass? Yes. You have? What have you hidden in your ass right now have you ever hidden anything in your ass yes you have what have you hidden in your ass fuck and how do you do it use a condom no no condoms in prison well how do you do it uh the rubber glove you cut the rubber glove finger you got vaseline yeah you cut the finger and whatever you put in there uh you just fucking hoop it so we call it hoop it and how do you what were you hide well you know what bro i uh i had to i i had to hide whatever i won't say what it is but i i i had to hide whatever got me through that day like sometimes it's your turn to do something and you have to do it there's no say there's no saying no to certain things it's just like yo homie you with you have to do it. There's no saying no to certain things.
Starting point is 01:06:45 It's just like, yo, homie, you with that? I'm like, give me that shit, eh? And fools are cool. You know, you get a balloon. You fucking put Vaseline on it, whatever. If the homie has jelly, you fucking bend over. You fucking take a deep breath, and you put it in your ass. And then when do you get it out?
Starting point is 01:07:01 At the end, it has a string, and it looks like your ass hair. And then you pull it at the end it has a string like and it looks like your ass hair you just and then you pull it right sometimes you pull some ass hairs it hurts that'd be the least of my worries no and like i remember like dude no one had tobacco and i was like fuck it i got tobacco i'm gonna go make some money hide that shit in my ass go to yard whatever and you sell them yeah and it's weird because like before prison girls would always try to put their fingers in my ass and their tongue i'm like bitch i'll kill you now i'm like where are these hoes at so you got an original three years yeah what did you end up actually serving a year and a half like no the judge fucked up what do you mean half time is only allowed when you uh a non-violent case oh okay and he was just being nice and the state or the corrections department overruled him. And they were like, nah, let me fuck this shit.
Starting point is 01:08:08 This is a violent crime. So you did all three years? I did two years and nine months. Jesus. Do you remember the date you got out? Yeah. What was it? November 29th.
Starting point is 01:08:21 What year? 2009. You've been out 10 years? Yeah. Huh? Yeah. Wow. I'll never forget it how were you nervous like leading up fuck fuck you don't even know because like you hear stories like hey homie don't tell fools when you're leaving me just fucking don't call your name and go but i was more like no i got nothing to hide that's what i heard like people that don't have anything that
Starting point is 01:08:44 they're in there for a while they might fuck your shit up yeah so i was just like, no, I got nothing to hide. That's what I heard. Like people that don't have anything, they're in there for a while, they might fuck your shit up. Yeah. So I was just like, look. I told everybody, I go, look, homie, I'm fucking at it. Because they give you this thing called an S ticket. An S ticket, usually when you're in prison, you have duties. And that ID card, I told you with the numbers on it, it'll let all the guards know where you're supposed to be at what times. All this was supposed to be at work, supposed to be a yard, or he's not allowed to be anywhere.
Starting point is 01:09:11 This S ticket, it's called an S ducat, you're free now. This guy's going home in two weeks. Go do what you go. Go ahead. Go wherever you got to go. Oh, really? And I got mine, and I showed the homies, look, I'm going home. And I had a lot of shit.
Starting point is 01:09:23 I was hustling. and i showed the homies look i'm going home and i had a lot of shit i was hustling i had a tv a radio shoes jackets and i was like look my best friend gets best first dips little man what's up my boy number love steven v had folded 18 years a lot was locked up when he was 15 jesus yeah he was my and fucking got like i left everything for everybody like look no you take all my soaps you take this you take my like we i i hated when people took shit home like you fucking stupid ass we we can buy this at target we can buy this these fools can't buy this like leave it i remember this one asshole took his tv and he's like fuck this shit my mom sacrificed for me they was like oh come on you're not even gonna watch that when you get home exactly she's digital now i remember getting out of prison and the iphone just came out and i was like mad like hey what
Starting point is 01:10:18 the fuck where's the where's the buttons like yeah it's the adjustments fucked up so i want to talk about that but i want to ask you real quick how many of these tattoos are any of these prison tattoos every tattoo is the prison everyone yeah same person did these no man there's some talented fucking prisoners in there yeah god damn yeah everyone but this one and this one is not a prison one even on your chest yeah it's all prison yeah this is from a homeboy rascal right here from boulevard tattoo how do they let you fucking do that though huh how do you that takes a while to get a tattoo done like hell no one all that
Starting point is 01:10:56 shading and shit this shit right here how long six hours that's it yeah how are you getting away with it or they don't fuck they don't care there's a they do care because now it like it can get infected and then they don't want to have to deal like take it to the meds and all that shit so we get a guitar string or a string from a broom and then out of a walkman we make the engine and then you make ink by like burning anything with color. Like, like a sleeps, big sleeps. Have you heard of this guy? It's like, you see that backpack I had? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:31 This, this guy's fucking makes the best ink. He's like the most original from what I know. No disrespect to nobody, but big sleeps is like the gangster original tattoo guy. Like he made his own ink. Now it's fucking famous, but he used to melt razors into a brown bag like blue and black razors and then the smoke he would scrape it put it in a in a bottle add a little bit of water and then like rocks and shake it up and it would become ink and that's how you get it in the yeah when you take the little guitar string or whatever and poke it through the skin so that's what i'm saying to have a real tattoo
Starting point is 01:12:09 fucking gun and do that is impressive to do that with a goddamn broom straw that's fucking amazing saw it off sundays baby oh shit yeah and and they hurt the the one that hurt the most is my fucking stomach because you gotta remember this like when you're getting a tattoo there's a guy looking out yeah you know like the one on my leg they fucking raided the dorm we i had to hide the ink in my ass not in my ass i cheeked it i put like in the crack and the other guy almost shoved the fucking tattoo gun up his ass because that's his money that's his money. I mean, you take it apart. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:47 Yeah. Still. I didn't do a point. That's his money. That's his money, bro. This is people's. How much? How much does a tattoo like this cost in prison?
Starting point is 01:12:54 I got blessed, bro. I love that you have a positive spin on being blessed. I got blessed. How much? You know, like it's kind of like this if you're in prison and we're homies i'd be like what's up brian where you originally from baltimore baltimore so yo homie so i'm gonna put a fucking raven on you better and we're gonna fucking like i'm all like you're my friend now and you know what homie you give me what you want dog because you know other fools are like yo yo, eight bucks.
Starting point is 01:13:26 Because it's like, eight bucks in prison is like. Yeah, how much is that? Eight bucks is like fahar, beans, rice, a whole fucking thing of Top Ramen. Really? Yeah. Like, I gave, I had things. So I gave this fool, like, for this one, it was like 15 bucks. And that's a lot of money in prison, 15 bucks. Fuck yeah. That is, homie. And this one, the 15 bucks this one a lot of money in prison 15 dollars yeah it is and this one
Starting point is 01:13:47 the homie just blessed me he was just like look dog you're a righteous fool i fucking like you dog and and i want to put this on you and i'm like all right gracias homie a lot of it was just another fool was like the best artists are the biggest druggies and this fool was like look dog i'm doing bad right now and you're doing good shoddy they call me shotgun that's my nickname he's a shotgun just fucking hey doc can you just i i owe money dog i need 10 bucks and i'll do a hundred dollar tattoo and i'll be like here's 20 bucks let me go trip oh hell yeah and then they would like get into it like fuck yeah homie you took care of me and you gave me extra yeah so i i was always like gay homie, you took care of me and you gave me extra. Yeah. So I was always like, gay homie here, man. I can get this.
Starting point is 01:14:27 Don't even trip because they're good people. Right. Only to good people. So, yeah. So let's talk about you're finally getting out. You said 2009, November 29. 11-29-09. And what is that transition like going back?
Starting point is 01:14:44 Because now you're going back to being a dad. And you're going back to. You're divorced, right? Well, I never got married. But practically, yeah. How was it that first fucking time you went to Applebee's? Dude. And you were like, I can fuck everybody here.
Starting point is 01:15:01 You didn't know what to do, right? That's the first thing you want to do. wanted to fuck i'll bet yeah i haven't fucking i've been jacking off to fucking weirdest shit i remember i remember i used to jack off to the fucking simpsons sometimes the simpsons yeah that's all i would just look at marge like fucking marge you're gonna take it eh there's that's all what we had we didn't have nothing it was it was weird because you know who picked you up my my baby's mom picked me up my girlfriend she picks me up with my daughter and is it are you still with her yeah no i'm not with her that's not who i met at the store no no no that no no she's a fucking it was oh fuck evil so she you you're she picked you up she picks me up with your daughter with my daughter that's nice actually it was awesome yeah now you get the
Starting point is 01:15:59 and how old your daughter at that point again what'd you say she's uh two ten months oh she's two at that point okay yeah ten months when you She's two. Ten months? Oh, she's two at that point. Okay. Yeah. Ten months when you first saw her. You know what's weird is the night before, me and my buddies were like, what's up, homie? Because, you know, I'm a dreamer, bro. We're dreamers. And I was like, yeah, dog, when I get out here, I already know it. I told my lady to open the trunk and play that song, Return of the Muppets.
Starting point is 01:16:22 Yeah, yeah. Return of the Muppets. There it is. And it didn't happen they fucking they hold you for as they hold you for another count so they can get paid and then they give you 200 bucks what do you mean because like whenever they do they do count three times a day they count the inmate being in there and the government pays them for the inmates that's what i read about all the time like how much each prisoner costs yeah so they wanted to get their money and then they released me they released me like around one o'clock just so they could get you in the yeah
Starting point is 01:16:59 and i've been there since six in the morning like they've already searched everything like man are you just fucking butterfly? Are you, like, jacked and ready to get the fuck out of there? You know, it's a trip because of. I can imagine that adrenaline is something that. It's a room. It's probably as big as the curtain to our heads is little. And you're in a cage.
Starting point is 01:17:19 And I haven't been around a black person or an Asian person in three years. And they're right there in front of me. And we're like, Hey dog, we're going home. I remember the brother was like, yo man, we're going home.
Starting point is 01:17:33 Don't be mad. Dog. And he said, we going home down. We going home. You don't got the jumpsuit on. And I was like, yeah,
Starting point is 01:17:39 oh shit. We're going on. Like it's a snap. You're like, fuck, we're going home. You're in like, cause they give you dress outs and like you, you clothes you're going out in now and i remember just fucking
Starting point is 01:17:49 like hey bro i cried man when i see my like i fucking you know it's it's it's it's a cry of fucking happy like damn girl my baby's mom sacrificed so much for me and like i wanted her to know like fuck man i'm grateful and i'm dude being on the freeway that's i knew i was institutionalized i kept going hey is it cool if i open the window she's like wow yeah just to roll the window down and i remember just sitting there and shit and my daughter jimmy we're gonna get in trouble hey we're pulled over. I'm fucking done. Yeah. Were you hypersensitive to all kinds of shit at first? I was like a cat.
Starting point is 01:18:32 Like, you ever move? You got to take the cat inside just looking out the window? I was just like, oh, shit. What the fuck? It was just a trip. Do you remember your first meal? Hell yeah. What was it?
Starting point is 01:18:47 Fuck. I haven't had a card card not southern rice and beans in years yeah we went i remember drinking a beer and being fucking buzzed no tolerance yeah they took me to disney walk i fucking almost lost it i haven't been around thousand people i've only i'm i'm only used to being around like 400 people max so that freaked you out the crowd in prison it's arm distance you got to give everybody arm distance oh you're in there you're in my space now homie i can do something so like people kept bumping into me and i was just like weird but like you know my sons i fucking georgie and andres they were just like they knew they could feel me like shaking. So they had their arms on each side.
Starting point is 01:19:27 And like my daughter, I was fighting through it all. Like, hey, you know, people knew I was out of prison. I'm fucking, I got these fucking fresh tattoos, completely chiseled, wearing clothes I shouldn't be wearing. You know, like they fucking sent me like a pink t-shirt they went like i'm fucking walking around with a pink fucking button up and some tight ass khakis i looked weird as fuck but i had to do it it's for my family yeah and yeah man and was that it right there that was it for you that That's the whole switch? No way. I mean, as far as trouble, you haven't been back, have you?
Starting point is 01:20:08 No. No. I remember, man, I've walked away from three fights, bro, and it's the fucking. The first one, I felt like the biggest bitch ever. It still kind of pisses me off, but I'm proud of myself because at the end of the day, why give somebody you? This guy wasn't about it. He was just talking shit to me because he was fucking mad that I'm better than him. Right.
Starting point is 01:20:33 And I told him straight up, I go, look, homie, you're a bitch. I'm not going to fight you. You have to hit me three times for me to fight because I need that shit on three other cell phones. Like I need all.
Starting point is 01:20:43 Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, I'm over this gangbanging shit homie yeah you know well whatever dog and i remember just like mike like i remember my son i he's older i talked to him he was just like thanks for fucking finally like letting us know we're number one at the end of the day my family's number one i'm only gonna fight for self-defense or anything else i don't give a fuck how many kids do you have total three three kids
Starting point is 01:21:04 two boys and a girl two boys and a girl so what was it like that first night being able to sleep in a in a bed could you actually get the fuck i was mad that they all stayed up i wanted to fuck oh yeah they're all hugging that yeah i'm like go to sleep let me get some pussy and shit we're so glad you're home i'll be I'll be here tomorrow. I got this. Yeah. No, it was dude. It was like,
Starting point is 01:21:29 Hey man, it was a trip bro. Cause it was like, uh, imagine I didn't want to see none of my friends. I was scared, scared to fuck up. Yeah. I was just like,
Starting point is 01:21:39 no dog. Like, Hey homie, I get my, my family gets everything first. And finally one of my like tightest homies he just rolled up to the house knocked on the door shit i was like fuck it was that it was it was him and you know the the transition's been hard bro i i finally ended it
Starting point is 01:21:58 yeah what do you uh this is gonna be an insane comparison, but after I graduated college, for years, okay, for years, maybe 10, 11, 12 years, I would have a nightmare that I forgot a fucking class. And I would sprint into like this reading class and they were doing math. And I'm like, what the fuck did i miss and it was always this anxiety dream of being back there and not being done with whatever i was supposed to be done with there finally stopped and i don't know what made it stop but i had a i had that anxiety dream for years did you get anything like that it happens to this day you still do have yeah you know i was in a i was in active places and like sometimes it fucks me up like my kids tell me dad at night you fucking be like just screaming the shit like get out or like or like hey hold me to the right it was just like it's it's weird like i always have this dream where like i'm i'm going i'm in prison but i'm in my normal clothes and i'm scared
Starting point is 01:23:07 i'm gonna get i'm like fuck am i supposed to have a cell phone what am i doing with the wall like oh shit's gonna give me more time or like i was never scared of heights i'm getting that now i'm scared of heights now dude and like i remember getting out of prison i didn't drive a car for three years and then i got on the freeway and i was like what the fuck it gives me anxiety it's crazy but i'll fucking i'll put shit on my ass and walk somewhere but i'm scared to drive that's what fucks me up what's the so it's kind of a ptsd because my brother yeah my brother works with like juveniles and shit and he was just like hey dog you still have it. He's like, I'll get up at 6 in the morning sometimes thinking there's going to be an inspection, and I'll fucking clean the whole house.
Starting point is 01:23:52 I'll fucking do weird shit. Like, I still wear my sandals in the shower. Do you really? You do? Yeah. And it's like, when you're in prison, you wash your clothes in the shower because there's no washer and dryer. Sometimes when I'm doing comedy on the road, I'm like, you know what? Fuck this. I'll wash your clothes in the shower because there's no washer and dryer sometimes on you yeah sometimes when i'm doing comedy on the road i'm like you know fuck this i'll just wash it in the shower and then you just hang dry
Starting point is 01:24:11 because i'm bored i don't know it's weird all right i'm gonna ask you a question and maybe the answer is no to this but is there anything that you miss about prison even if it's just regimented structure or is there anything that you that that you could say yeah i kind of or maybe you benefited from or i miss everything i fucking loved it sometimes you did i loved it i love i sometimes i was in my element it was maybe it was my selfishness of not wanting to be responsible because you don't have to be. All you got to be is truthful about your word and honest. And where you're supposed to be when they fucking tell you. Exactly.
Starting point is 01:24:55 And it's like fucking all day, fuck it, let's go try to find a joint. All this shit, let's make prune. And then, but I would not want to go back for nothing but i i do miss the whole part of like i'd get up every day wanting to do something you know what i'm gonna read a book today i'm gonna i'm gonna try this like i remember trying to check out comedy books from the library they had nothing to do with american comedy they were like from england and shit or something i just like fuck oh shit what a trip oh i didn't i didn't know a gesture was the original comic reading shit and it was just i don't miss it at all but i miss everything about it how fucked up
Starting point is 01:25:35 is that i know i understand that that's why i asked i wondered yeah and what would you say has been the hardest thing to get used to on the outside what is it you still struggle with i know you say you have ptsd but what is it that is there anything that's really like there there's that you know i i gotta talk to myself every day i go to hollywood realizing this isn't real these motherfuckers are there's hollywood is like being in prison with the protective custody and the real guys. And I just got to realize I can't kill these protective custody guys like I would. I got to let them be them. That's my hardest adjustment of like, you know, we're talking.
Starting point is 01:26:21 I hate when someone grabs someone else from a conversation or like interrupts me or just like, hey, that is disrespect. But I got to realize, hey, you're not in prison anymore. Those rules are just you. When you go to prison, you go into someone else's world. And I can't shake those little rules sometimes. And I'm learning to it's getting there. It's getting there. to it's getting there it's getting there and i i really have to fucking fight of like i don't have angry issues but i do i get angry at the stupidest shit sometimes but i'm and i just
Starting point is 01:26:54 fucking hate is what it is i'm i mean i'm learning more and more about ego too and trying to let that bullshit go like you said that i used to be the same way like i would not walk away from a fight i'd rather lose the fight yeah away from the fight and think that anyone think i'm a bitch but by the way nobody even gives a shit yeah or remembers that yeah you carry that with you dude you're so right and that was the hardest shit to shake and it was this little fool that threw a beer on me too he goes homie you ain't about shit you're like if i didn't fucking have this ankle bracelet on me bitch yeah well i'm proud of you dude you come a long fucking way you're doing really good right now i'm trying i'm trying great man look at you you're doing great i'm with you guys
Starting point is 01:27:37 yeah you're over here you know you know how many cholos know you no yeah No. Yeah. What's up, Cholo? Yeah, they're like, oh, shit, homie, you're going to do the honey doo doo boo boo. I can't get over it. I love it, dude. Yeah. Well, we're there, brother. Thank you. You're welcome anytime. Thank you, brother.
Starting point is 01:27:59 I love you. One more time, your social media, your website, wherever anybody can find everything about you. All right. one more time your social media your website wherever anybody can find everything about you alright if you guys want to get some more cholo-ism check me out on George P Comedy Twitter Instagram July 17th I'm at Oxnard Levity Live get there August
Starting point is 01:28:16 23rd 24th I am at Tiff's Comedy Club in Jersey August 30th I will be at the Comedy Store Belly Room and oh yeah last thursday in november i am at the san jose improv and i'll probably be doing a little run after that loved it here yo if you ain't fucking with the honeydew i'ma come looking for you thank you brother i think he fucking means that shit i am ryan sickler on all social media ryan sickler.com we'll talk to
Starting point is 01:28:44 y'all next week

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