The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Hunter Hill - HunterDew

Episode Date: February 5, 2024

My HoneyDew this week is comedian Hunter Hill! Hunter Highlights the Lowlights of a near death experience with his infant son, being trapped in a mudslide, and the death of his stepfather. SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://youtube.com/@rsickler SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew What’s your story?? Submit at [e-mail] CATCH ME ON TOUR https://www.ryansickler.com/tour SUBSCRIBE to The HoneyDew Clips Channel http://bit.ly/ryansicklerclips SUBSCRIBE TO THE CRABFEAST PODCAST https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-crabfeast-with-ryan-sickler-and-jay-larson/id1452403187 SPONSORS: Liquid I.V. -Get 20% off ANYTHING you order when you go to https://www.LiquidIV.com and use code HONEYDEW BetterHelp -The HoneyDew is sponsored by BetterHelp, get 10% off your first month at https://www.Betterhelp.com/HONEYDEW

Liberty Township, Ohio. I am headed your way Friday, February 16th and Saturday, February 17th. Winnipeg, my first time headed your way. I'll be there Friday, March 1st and Saturday, March 2nd. Omaha, we're gonna do it this time. I promise you, last time we got our flights canceled. This time, we're taking a straight shot. I'll be there Friday, March 29th and Saturday, March 30th. Columbus, Ohio. I'm fired up to head your way. Never been there. My first time coming to your beautiful city. I'll be there Friday, April 12th and Saturday, April 13th, Los Angeles. I'm excited to announce that I'm part of the Netflix is a joke festival. I have my own show Sunday, May 12th at the bourbon room. You guys guys ask me how come you're

not on netflix well here's a chance to sell this thing out and show them why i should be get your tickets now don't wait all tickets available at ryan sickler.com the honeydew with ryan sickler Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to the honeydew, y'all. We're over here in the Night Pants studios doing it up today, y'all. I'm Ryan Sickler, ryansickler.com, Ryan Sickler on all your social media. And I want to thank you. I want to thank every single one of you, whether you've been here or whether you knew here, whether you go back to the feast,

wherever you come from, however you got here, YMH, all of it. Thank you very much. Please subscribe to this channel, help us out. And if you got to have more, please check out that Patreon. It's the honeydew with y'all. It is this show with y'all. And I'm telling you, for five bucks a month, you will never find the stories that you're going to hear on this show. It is wild, wild stories, fun stuff, crazy stuff for five bucks a month. You're getting hundreds of episodes. And if you're looking for a new podcast to listen to, go listen to my old podcast, The Crab Feast. I'm telling you that community is still so alive and well. I love seeing the feasters at the show. It's going to do over a million downloads. I say that.

One year at this library, it's been gone for five years. And today's guest had two fantastic episodes you got to go listen to. That's the biz. Now, you guys know what we're doing over here? We're highlighting the lowlights. I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers, and I am very excited to have this guest here today for the first time on The Honeydew. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Hunter Hill, everybody.

Welcome to The Honeydew, Hunter Hill. Feels good to be here. Dude. First of all, thank you for being here. I've said to you outside before, you're somebody I'll always say yes to. You've been nothing but good to me, kind to me from day one. It's been a pleasure to watch you grow. I know you go out and work with Eliza.

You work with Taylor Tomlinson. You're legit, bro. So before we get into your stories, and again, I'm telling you, his crafty stories are absolutely worth the listen. Please plug, promote, everything and anything Hunter Hill. Hi. I'm out on the road. I'm headlining clubs around the country right now. You guys can see me in Chicago, Boston, Portland, Maine, San Diego, Phoenix, Seattle, Portland, Oregon.

All of it is at Hunterhillcomedy.com and hunterhillcomedy on Instagram. Boom. Yeah, dude. Well, it's been a few years since I've seen you. And the last I saw you were not a dad. You're a dad now. And I always ask people to send stuff in. So I want to hear about, first of all, how old's your son? My my son he'll be two in december all right so he's okay so he's he's entered toddlerhood he's a ball of energy he's the best thing about my life hands down but also my definition of love patience and tired change on a daily basis don't they yeah i feel like I feel like the group. Remember when they were little and you're like, I'll never raise my voice

at this thing. Oh my God. And then you're like, stop! Just counting to three as calmly as I can. Yeah. I just say too,

I'll say out loud if I'm ever too like, God, please let me hold it back. I'll do that all the time too. I try to make her laugh about it instead of like get angry about it. But man, it's the best thing I'll ever do.

We were just talking outside about like it's family first and you got to figure out how to include comedy into family not family into comedy absolutely it's got to be that way yeah i feel like i'm an airplane trying to get off the ground and my runway just like like i'm trying to figure out the line between chasing a dream and being delusional. That's what I'm trying to do. But I think I'm doing a good job. Being delusional is beautiful. Yeah, yeah. It just means your brain works differently.

But then when it happens, who was delusional? The people that told you you couldn't do it or you? Absolutely. Yeah. All you got to do is make yourself happy. All you got to do is believe in you. And all you got to do with your family and shit is make it whatever works best for you you know what i mean like there are people like i've had to take my

daughter to the comedy club before i don't have anybody to watch her so she sits in the green room and i'm like put headphones on and watch your tablet you know i'm saying like i've had to do that yeah i've had to what am i gonna do sometimes you gotta bring your kid to work this happens to be our work it is wild how other parents move their weight around and get judgmental when like sure there's some bad parents out there but at the end of the day like hey we're all just trying our fucking best and it is there isn't one person out there i'm talking to everybody that has kids there's not one person out there that doesn't have room for improvement as a parent not one no one's bad in 100 not one no out there that doesn't have room for improvement as a parent. Not one. No one's batting 100.

Not one. No. No. They might be hiding behind like an Adderall prescription. Yeah, exactly. Or reading to some good book, you know, listening to some good books on tape. But no one's batting 100. No one's got it figured out. Also, idiots have been doing this for years.

Forever. So why are we being so hard on each other? Right. We feel like we're the no you guys this it's like y'all know this has been going on for a gazillion years forever forever it's uh it's a lot man i'm uh i love being a dad i think being a stand-up is kind of the best job in the world because i can be a stay-at-home dad during the week and play rock star on the weekends it's uh kind of like a hannah montana grind that i'm on right now living that best of both worlds so in the first on not even two years yet you already had a scare

where you had to go to the er with your son yeah we're we're we're we're good parents if it starts like that i don't know if my i don't know if i should have gave nine hot dogs but we're good parents it's it's you know my wife probably wouldn't want me talking about this. We were responsible. You know, we went to every class that the hospital has before you have the kiddo. And it's like CPR, don't shake the baby, the breathing exercises. All the shit in the crib that's got to get out. Don't put the mesh in.

They could roll up and choke on it. Everything is trying to kill you. We went to all of those classes. No one ever told us that this could happen. We were at, we live in Burbank. We've got a community pool that has like a little toddler section. And we were hanging out with some other parent friends that we've made through a gymnastics class. And Mercer was eating this, not trail mix because it you know yeah we'll say trail mix but

like crunched up super tiny nothing chokeable and i had taken him away from his mom so that she could take a phone call at one point and he did one of those like inhale cries you know like where you just like you you know it's gonna be big and no one ever told us this could happen but when he inhaled cried he he didn't choke everything all the food just surpassed his throat and went directly into his lungs oh shit yeah i don't know this could happen no idea so you're saying that in the foods he's chewing it and if a baby that age can breathe it in it goes right it doesn't go to the stomach it goes yeah do not pass go do not collect 200 the lungs the lungs and and my wife and i play different roles i think my my role is already just like i don't want to make this kid's life too easy and hers is you know

everything's wrong all the time we need to go get it checked out. And we meet in the middle. We balance each other out. We were at the pool. One of the other dads was a firefighter. He didn't seem too alarmed. He was like, you're always going to know what's best for your kid, was the advice we were being given. One of the other moms was an ICU nurse. And they were just like, yeah, he's probably just got something stuck in his throat. It'll go away. And my wife was just like, no, we're going home. We're going home. And while we're driving home, I'm like, why don't we just go to our pediatrician's office? Why don't we just pop in, see if we can do that. And we go there and the pediatrician's like, should have gone straight to the hospital. And our pediatrician told us not to go to specific hospitals. She's like, don't go to St. Mary's.

She's like, you guys live near St. Joseph? Do not waste your time with St. Joseph. She explicitly was throwing hospitals under the bus. She's like, you shouldn't be here. You need to go to the hospital. Don't go to this hospital. That will not end well. So we went.

But wait, so what is it that she noticed just per experience? She's like, no, that your child has food. That's where you find out what's wrong or you don't know yet what is really going on. She was like, what I think has happened is I think something is blocking the lungs. Can we do that as adults? I don't know. And now I'm terrified. I also don't know.

I don't know if I'll ever feel anything deeply enough to go maybe like a kick-ass i'm a gasper though i don't know i drop shit i go and i better be careful at the end of the six cents just i i'm gonna need something like my lungs already took a beat and i can't have food in them they're clot free for christ's sake i I haven't lost a parent yet, but I will be sure not to be snacking while moving through that. All right. That's good to know. And she sent us to the hospital, man.

And I've had some scary days in my life. That was wild. Because I've worked on, we've both worked on television sets. We've been in situations where you can see people acting calmly when everything is going wrong. And thank God our doctor sent us. She sent us to Children's Hospital Los Angeles. And they were spectacular. I mean, we walked in. They just held a stethoscope up to my son's chest. Didn't even fill out paperwork wasn't even like where's an insurance card it was just like let's get you back like they heard it yeah they're just like

okay and then they've got him on a machine four doctors are now like in the room they're bringing them books they're bringing them toys so he's in good spirit still that's the thing that's why the dad in me was like yeah i think he's okay's okay. Like he seems okay. Cause he was like laughing. He was, if I made a face, he would giggle. I always look at that energy too. I'm like, energy level seems good, but this is okay. And it turns out it was good. Cause there was so little oxygen in him that he was getting a little loopy.

He's tripping. Yeah. He's just tripping, man. And, and I'm like, he seems, he seems chill. And my wife's like, no, he's too chill. This poor kid is tripping. That happens. I can only make these jokes because it's the only way I can approach these insanely dark scenarios.

This is what this show is. But we are scared. I mean, they. Are they telling you anything? Are they saying, hey, this could be bad? They're telling us in the calmest – they're telling us everything's bad, but making it sound like everything's going to be fine. Because they're a children's hospital.

Right, which to me is like I understand what you're saying. Yeah. And they're saying it looks like we might have to go in and use like a claw mechanism to take out the particles. And my wife's still thinking like, sounds like, okay, so maybe, you know, we won't need to do that. And I was like, no, that's, you know, they're not wasting their time with like all of the hypotheticals of what's going to happen. And I've just never been, I've never felt that helpless before. Just, just, it's a weird thing becoming a parent. And, and I've never felt that helpless before. Just, it's a weird thing becoming a parent.

And I've noticed this in making, trying to make friendships with other parents is it's weird walking into a conversation with somebody where the other person already knows the easiest way to hurt you. Just like, hey, everything I love and care about, just something that would destroy me is right here. And the only reason I think it's easy to make parent friends in like these class scenarios is because it's like, yeah, yeah, my biggest weakness is right here.

And I have never felt that before. I've lived through a lot. I've gotten numb to a lot. And this was the first time we were just like not crying when he was in the room because you're just like, you know, I'm taking him in for chest x-rays telling him we're just going to get a big picture, you know, and just talking him through it. And the whole time doctors like just on the other side of the door in case something like crashes because the blood oxygen level was just like. So if he collapses literally. Yeah, just scary low.

Like we just are we going to have to revive this kid at any minute and jesus yeah and then you've got you've got doctors and their egos that you like everyone on the the ground floor was great and then once you got up to like the surgeon level that's when like those god egos come in and then you're like okay i i like some of you and that that one specific dude who's winking at me can just get the out yeah like why are you flirting with me right now it's it's it it gets dark quick i let my son watch a screen for the first time while we were pushing him away on a gurney just because i didn't want him to go out without watching in kanto it is just like so dark and so real. And I mean, yeah, just being held in that suspense for hours.

They're taking them into a room now to remove the food? Yeah. And are you allowed in there? No. Because this is still during like COVID too or a little after? This is very recent oh this is this is like a month ago jesus dude yeah man wow okay this is you know that they're not worried about code anymore um and it went through they they gave them an oxygen treatment to see if it

wasn't food like if we put this chemical in, is it going to open his lungs up enough? That didn't work. And then right away, they're like, it looks like we're going to need to have surgery. They had him in surgery. So he's in there and you guys aren't allowed in that room at all? Not at all. How long is he in there? An hour and a half, two hours.

And you guys are just sitting in the waiting room? We're, thank God, we live in LA and the hospital had a farmer's market that day. So we were just walking around this farmer's market, you know, looking at different types of – Are you just fronting? I'm sobbing. Are you crying and looking at kale and shit? Sobbing. I'm in like a cafeteria.

His bananas look amazing. I'm just in a cafeteria sponsored by DreamWorks just crying in front of every Kung Fu Panda cartoon. I've donated blood at Children's Hospital, so I know what it looks like. Yeah. It's just a Chadwick Boseman, like, Black Panther mural. And you're just like, no. He's dead. Oh, no.

You're the hero. It's terrible. You're just, you're going, oh, my God. I just oh oh man dude i've lost family members and i haven't cried and and and this was holding me and yeah i mean this is also a helpless little child that's like pure doesn't even know pure innocence doesn't even know what he's going in for right now doesn't even know something's wrong with him. Yeah. He's fucking feeling great, man.

He's tripping his balls off. To this day, he'll never know that he's gone under for a surgery. He's tripping his non-descended balls off. That's right. He's doing okay. He's having a good goddamn time here. Yeah. Just a good heady Sunday.

Man. Okay. So they take him in. So he's in there an hour and a half. And do they come and get you? How do they notify you, hey, this is done? They kind of give you this tiny DMV waiting room where they call numbers and they're like, your kid is ready. Your kid is ready.

But you have to just sit either in this tiny room for two hours or feel confident enough to like go on a walk for 30 minutes. Can I ask you this, if you're comfortable answering this, because I know what Children's Hospital is all about. Steve Simone has, you know, been a big influence on me and donating blood there and helping kids out and things. And you're in there with other parents who are getting not good news. Yeah. You're in there with other parents who are getting not good news. Yeah. You're in there with other parents who are getting the worst news. So, you know, it's always been a thing for me, like, you're getting good news, thank goodness. And you got to sort of keep that in check, too, I feel like, respectfully in front of people who aren't getting good news. Because you're all there, and you said it might be the size of this room.

It is palpable, like every every step of the way um this was july 3rd we went in um so day before fourth of july and and we weren't sure what side of that we were gonna fall on you know and and we would be in rooms with kids who were like laughing and like, just maybe needed like an x-ray or something like that. That wasn't that serious. And it's, thank God, I guess, thank goodness that the kids are there because you have to keep your shit together for them. And, and I am in no position to be mad at another family for being happy that their kid isn't in my spot or, you know, vice versa. But it is, yeah, man, it's, it's weird being in that room. Just, just feeling so vulnerable. I think I'm invincible all the time. And then just this thing just checked me in the biggest way and

thank thank god he's okay but yeah tell me about they tell you your son's uh ready to be seen and you go back in this room is he all tubed up and all that stuff yeah he had an oxygen math on mask on he you know is he awake or is he sort of coming out of it he was still kind of coming out of it but he was able to like hold you know hold my hand like this and I'm just still crying. Weird. My wife and I weren't both allowed back to be with him at once. So then it's like I have to let her go first because that's the rule. Mom always goes first.

But then I'm just in this lobby like, okay, she's taking her time. And I would also like, it was weird, man. It was just awful. Awful, awful, awful. And everyone that works at that hospital is amazing. They do such an incredible job. And I know Steve, I've also just seen Jimmy like, Jimmy Kimmel will, like, stop an episode just to celebrate this hospital. We're so lucky that we live so close to a hospital like this.

And even with everyone. And also, I don't mean to interrupt, but, like, the doctor told you, if you go to the other place, you might not be having this result. Isn't that wild? It is. It is wild. To be also in close proximity. It's a few miles apart. 15 minute drive. We all can't communicate with one another how to do

this the right way over there. The difference could be life or death. Yes. Or smooth pregnancy. It is wild how inconsistent healthcare. What happened to me in the hospital in the beginning of the year when I clotted, they told me that if where we had our baby,

they said, it's great hospital to have a child. You have this there, you're done. Wow. Like we have what you need here. And I'm like, you guys are right down the fucking street. Like it doesn't make sense to me that part. And I'm with you because I, you know, it's all, I guess it's all, what do you call it? Perspective. Because I have you know, it's all, I guess it's all, what do you call it? Perspective. Because I have to go, I still have to go to an oncologist to be checked out. And I sit in this room.

And the last time I was there, I was over an hour. And, you know, part of me wants to be like, what the fuck? You know? And then when they call me, I walk past all of these people getting chemo. And I'm like, you know what? I could sit and wait another fucking hour. What am I? It's a shame that it took that for me to calm down and put things in perspective.

But I'm proud of myself. I don't know the 18-year-old me to have been even looked over there. I took the time to see it. And I was like, oh like oh shit you know what that hour that i just spent there was no chemo going in my body i can sit here and chill for an hour they're clearly fucking busy this is and you know i then i just shut the fuck up and and chilled out on it this is a weird uh thing to come out of that. But my wife and I lived through a mudslide, which I talked about on another one of your podcasts. That story of the Cribe Feast is incredible.

It was, yeah. I thought that was the scariest day of my life. And then the kiddo in the hospital, much scarier. But I remember after the mudslide, the 101 freeway was still underwater for like a month, I think. the the 101 freeway was still underwater for like a month i think and they were finally able to dig these train tracks clear so that the train could could get people out and i got on the first train out of santa barbara let's talk about it okay where do you want to start start at the beginning so you're well first of all thank god your son's okay yeah kiddo's okay. And you're right. This story is something I'll never forget. So there was Northern California mudslides.

You were up there with your wife's family at the time? Yeah, we were going to. What year was this again when this happened? This was in 2018. Okay. We were going to celebrate her little sister's 14th birthday. Little sister was about to turn 14. And we, just for context, we ignored a mandatory evacuation to avoid the mudslide because that doesn't really sound like something that's going to happen in your backyard.

It doesn't sound like something that's going to happen in Santa Barbara or Montecito. And we had all just been evacuated like four or five times from the Thomas fires right before that. So we were a little fatigued, you know. Over the whole hay. Yeah. You've left your house all four or five of those times, nothing happened. Now they're like, there's going to be a mudslide. You're like, well, that's, when does that ever happen? You know, we're're gonna hang tight and and the law enforcement that came by the house were like that that was kind of their reaction as well like yeah we get it but we

have to come by and you know check you out so we we went to sleep that night and we woke up at three o'clock in the morning to this gas line explosion at the house behind us so this gas pipe that used to be 40 feet underground was now 75 feet above ground. Just a flame pumping? Just, yeah. Open flame. This house, the only way I could describe the kind of explosion that it would look like

is the White House and Independence Day. This thing just gone. And were there people in it? I can't remember if that specific house had people in it. I know we kind of bumped shoulders with people who lived in the house next to it. And they had burn wounds and their house. And do you feel that? Is that what wakes you up is like the explosion, the rock of that?

You know what's embarrassing is I snore. So I woke up to my wife shaking me awake. Oh, dude. You slept through a house. I slept through a mudslide. I slept through an explosion. Get the fuck out of here. You slept through that, dude?

I slept through it. Oh, yeah. And this wasn't, it was a big, over 350 homes were destroyed. 90% of the people that died on that day were on the street behind us. So we were 150 feet away from not waking up again. And I wake up to my wife just shaking me.

I don't sleep with clothes on. So I'm like disheveled and like just naked, like trying to figure my shit out. My mother-in-law's running in. I'm just like, just helicopter dicking at her, just trying to figure out what to do i'm trying to find cats because we have cats i'm throwing furniture just trying trying to get them that's when you realize how great a dog is the fact that i could just been

in a disaster and just been like come here boy yeah just call your dog yeah good boy let's go um yeah and and we and it was wild man we you know ran outside you're looking at this this 550 foot flame it's three o'clock at night sky is lit orange like it could have been and was the explosion because of the mudslide yeah okay because of the land shift that's what opened up these gas lines got it and it was like wild i mean i i our her uncle was with us and he had his phone out and i'm just like that's wild and her grandparents were there it was this really weird moment because i was her dad and i were in like uh not a great place like i I was asking for permission and there wasn't like a clear yes or no. He didn't give you like a resounding yeah. Not right out the gate.

At first it was like, well, regardless of what I think, you mean a lot to her. Regardless of what I think, you mean a lot to her. That's not how this goes in the films. Regardless of what I think. Let's try that again. I'm not, I'm not like a, I'm not a, you know, it's just not my time to shine. I'm not like a, my whole life, everyone's like, you should be a lineman. And I'm like, I want to be a sturdy thespian.

I'm just like in this natural disaster and uh yeah we're throwing people into cars it was like driving through and what's happening is it moving through like like water like like that fluid you know what i mean powerful yeah it was our driveway or her driveway, was a river. You could not see the bottom of it. Us getting in our cars. Of mud. Just mud. Mud. And flowing.

And is it pulling cars, too? Yeah. Once we got out of the driveway, it was kind of. How the hell are you even driving? The scariest thing I've ever, before the hospital stuff was just putting the car and drive anytime i had to take the car from park to drive was just this you're safe right now you can stay here you could just sit right here and not you know see what happens or you can put the car and drive and and see what's going to happen down the road and we made turns where

houses were passing us it's like houses houses it's like describing a dream you know it's like we were in your neighborhood but it wasn't your neighborhood yeah it was like being in the tornado from wizard of oz i was gonna say that's that was as soon as you said the house going it was i'm seeing power lines were down there was no way there's fires and stuff are they popping other gas lines around the neighborhood as well? I think that was the only like big fire. And because it was so wet, I can't remember like the specific, but it was something like crazy. Like we got.

And it's pouring rain. We got like five inches of rain in like 15 minutes. It was just torrential downpour. And is that because of all the area that had been burned by the fires is now there's no tree, nothing to stop it, so it's all... So the fire had burnt up all the nutrients and roots that would have held that dirt together. Right. And now it's just soot. And you're getting an ungodly amount of rain. Yeah.

And boom that fast. Yeah. Historic storm right after historic fire. And now you've got boulders, you know, the size of these mansions that these people are living in, just, just tumbling down. And, and it was awful. We, we, and he's offloading his dad and getting family out of that car. We're trying to figure out how to fit everyone into my Kia Sorento, which was a 2018 top safety pick. It was scary, man. I'll bet. Water was. See, listen, man. When you see a house move past you, you realize that we are nothing. I mean, we are ants on this fucking thing right now.

You disconnect. A house. You're just like, this is not my life. This is a movie. Like Twister, like a barn going by you yeah what yeah it's it seems cinematic and it and it's your life and it's pitch black and it's bright because the fire so the whole fires okay but it's three in the morning but the sky is bright because of the fires you can see everything you really can and it's wild it's just like the world's largest tiki torch was just lighting up this neighborhood.

And cars, yeah, once we started driving again, you saw Jeeps getting pushed down by water. And are you seeing other people out as you're driving? Yeah. So when my father-in-law's truck, father-in-law now, his truck got stuck. You know, my wife ran up to this house to our left. There was two people getting in a stretch Escalade. And my wife was like, can you please help us? Like, our car is stuck.

My grandfather has a replaced hip. You know, like, we need more room. And they just rolled up the windows, and they're like, we're sorry. We can't help you. Like a limousine escalate. No, no, just like two people in a nine-seater. And they wouldn't let you in. Yeah, they're sorry, we can't help you, drove off.

And there was an older son and his mom stuck in a Jetta that was like slowly lift up and like starting to drift away. But they were able to like get out and just kind of move up the road to where they weren't stuck. So after I, I, I shuttled my family, I took turns driving my family in the Kia back to this guard shack at this neighborhood that I noticed had power on. Leave some and go go drive up come back drive oh how many trips women and children first man or women and cats and and you yeah exactly i did have to go back though that was that was another time where i was like all right i got the girls to shelter you could i was like i gotta go back and get them what you think about me now father-in-law there was a little bit i was like i gotta get that yeah i gotta get that yeah despite what you think what yeah tell that to us part you and me bro yeah uh went back and got him and his dad and his brother

oh damn you went and got generations for him yeah and then i went and got back i i went and got those those strangers that we didn't know also uh yeah's nice. Yeah. You have to. I don't think I would have been okay if I hadn't. And we all ended up going to this guard shack. Guard didn't know where to put us, so he took us down to this little, like, you know, like the snack stand equivalent of a country club. Not like a stand, but like the spot that only serves ice tea and crackers.

Not like their nice restaurant. And we're just in this room with- Are you safe in this room or you don't know? We think. We think because it stopped raining. There's not a chance this mud's going to like bury you guys in there. It felt safe. The fire was still going because it was still orange and bright

but the rain had died out so it didn't feel like at a certain point the fear stopped being about the mudslide because it just seemed kind of just from in the short time span of driving around and seeing where the roads were washed out you you could see like the natural, like this is where water would flow. And it didn't feel like we were in one of those spots. Then the fear just became about what's going on with these gas lines, where are other gas leaks, and is it going to start raining again? And then do we have to worry again? And we were just in this, this shack with, uh, you know, uh, people that were in their homes when, you know, closer to the explosion that caught fire, uh, burn victims, people that just lost their houses, people that lost more than houses. Um, and, and we just waited there. It was also,

and we just waited there. It was also, I don't, I talk about this in a funny way when I run my hour, but one of the things I don't talk about was how weird it was to wake up in this like gated community that had no idea that any of this had happened because all of the debris flow went completely around like this one golf course community so we were you know people were waking up to make their 6 a.m tea time and we're just covered in mud in their country club on couches and these you know guys are just like are you members here like why are you on the furniture like? Like, where's the bag boy? And you're just like trying not to scream at him, you know, or tell him to go not tip a waitress or something. And it was weird, just this weird get out kind of vibe once everyone started waking up and there were people that lived in the neighborhood and you could hear him talking like, well, we can't just let them stay here. And, and how quickly, and there were, there were lots of people trying to help us. And there were lots of people bringing us dry clothes and,

and, you know, they were, they were doing what they can, but there was no water. There was no cell towers. All the roads were gone. We don't know how long we're going to be stuck here. At one point, people were literally like counting water bottles and being like, how do we make this last amongst all these people? Damn. So I can kind of understand, like, I guess why people would be, you know, taking priority over other people. But was i mean such a crash course and how wonderful and how awful people can be in in given circumstances and we weren't you know we were their neighbors we were you know these people were in their houses are unaffected so why don't they just go back to their fucking homes where they got their food and their toilet paper and everything

leave you guys muddy and alone because they don't have internet and they can't be alone so they're all let's go to the country club and and talk to everyone else that's in this shared trauma of us not being able to get on instagram and i'm like because we lost this motherfucker lost the house they lost family members i don't want to talk to my family let's go talk yeah he's got a seven o'clock tea time he'll be there god damn yeah staying up late hanging out with friends yelling at the game on tv all things i've been doing over these big weekends so when it's time to start another big week you celebrate hydration monday with liquid iv we've had liquid iv now for

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in all of your relationships, whether it's friends, whether it's your work, your significant other or anyone. Look, you know, I believe in therapy. I talk about it all the time. I go to therapy myself. I use it whenever I need it. All right. You don't have to stay in it forever. That's the other thing. You don't have to be in therapy forever. You go, you get some tools, you learn about some things, then you get out there in the real world and you apply them. All right. And if you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online. It is designed to be convenient, flexible and suited to your schedule. You just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist,

and then you can switch therapist anytime for no additional charge. Become your own soulmate. Whether you're looking for one or not, visit BetterHelp.com slash HoneyDew today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com slash HoneyDew. Now, let's get back to the do. So how do you get out of there? We waited and some firefighters ended up finding us and they were like, the US Army's coming with Blackhawk helicopters.

No, that's right. That's what it was, Blackhawks. They also gave us a dog. This isn't in my act either. They gave us a dog. It was caked in mud. And this other couple that we were stuck with, an older couple, my wife and my sister-in-law were washing this dog and getting all the mud off of it. And they were just talking about how they love dogs so much. And they had just lost their family dog of 15 years, you know, had gotten their kids through high school, college, just like a member of the family, Oliver. Like, we just lost Oliver and we miss him so much. We love dogs so much. And my sister-in-law was like, well, do you want to hold this dog?

And they took the dog and they wiped the mud off of the collar and the dog's name was Olive. Nah. I swear to God. I was going to say, I was going to make a joke and say this is Olive because it's a black dog. Yeah, yeah. It was a white dog. It was just caked in mud.

Oh, caked in mud. No way. So now they got Olive? Now they got Olive. They're weird, beautiful, beautiful moments in like this dark, dark event. But yeah, we ended up getting airlifted out by the US Army. Yeah, where do they land in these fucking things on the 18th wall man for real yeah just it was weird coming that close to death and then being stuck in like

a pretty beautiful listen if the aren't if the u.s military is sending black their black hawk helicopters to come it's a fucking big deal sure or trump is in office and these wealthy white people need to get the fuck off their golf course yeah you're like i don't think katrina got the helicopters that quick and and uh and and i you know i don't mean to make light of that i spent a lot of time uh building distribution centers after that hurricane and living with the people there but it it was it was a big deal. Over 350 homes were destroyed. How many people died? I think 21.

And you said 90% of them were literally on the street behind you? On the street behind us. So that street just got wiped. These people were still sleeping. They probably didn't even have a chance to wake up. Yeah. Just buried alive by mud. Became a river.

That is fucking terrifying, dude. And then, yeah, we got out. Then you're, this is a weird thing. Then you got all these people. What's it like, hold on. What's it like to be sitting on a Blackhawk helicopter with these people? You're flying now. Where are they taking you?

They took us to a Red Cross shelter that they had built at a nearby airstrip. They took us to a Red Cross shelter that they had built at a nearby airstrip. It was kind of cool getting on a Blackhawk helicopter. Again, like, I don't know if you're like this. If I'm in a hospital and my buddy's sick, I start cracking jokes. Yeah, that's what this whole thing is. When life gets dark, you find the light. So, I mean, we were scared but we we've been cracking jokes all day you know we it was awful but it was like we were sitting around a

campfire and the fact that we got to go on the helicopter meant that we were getting out of there meant that you know how good that feel it felt amazing how many people were in one of them with you like how many people gosh like a dozen them with you? Like how many people? Gosh. Like a dozen, more, less? I think it was 10. 10? Yeah, with the two pilots up front. Yeah, 10.

So eight, I don't want to call you victims, but you were victims. Yeah, survivors. Eight victims in each one. Survivors, well said. Yeah. And how many helicopters? I don't, they were taking turns. There was two helicopters, but they were just shuttling.

So like they were just, cause it was going to. How many people do you think they ended up rescuing then? At, at our little spot. Yeah. I mean. Just what you saw. 30? Maybe more, maybe 50.

Wow. Cause everyone in this neighborhood was like. Holy shit. That was the annoying thing too. You got like bros on their cell phones like getting a helicopter. And it's like you woke up down the street and walked here. And but yeah. Yeah.

They got everyone out of there. I mean, these guys are amazing. And you would hear some of these stories like firefighters would like. They would do search and rescue. They would tie ropes to each other because they're treading through the mud. But you couldn't tell if and when there was going to be a swimming pool. Like drop down. And they would just plummet.

Didn't even think about a swimmer. And you'd need to yank them up with a rope. Weird, weird things that I would never think of, and I hope I never have to think of again. And it- You ever have nightmares about that? Dude, I, flying. I have to, the roaring and the inertia of when a plane lands is eerily similar to that just gas fire, rocks rumbling.

Sound. Yeah. rocks rumbling sound yeah and and i fly every weekend and nine out of ten landings my my claw is just like clenching that armrest just like trying not to be in that moment and and i talk about this on stage a lot in a very funny uh funny now found the light in the dark kind of way, but it is, I get emotional every time. And we took a family trip to Mexico this last year and there was a thunderstorm. While you're flying? just the thunder. I've never felt thunder like that before, but there are things where if it wakes me up out of like a cold sleep, I just like, my heart is off to the races. I am not going back to sleep. Weird triggers. My wife loves the rain. She's from Seattle. After this, like we have a sensor light in our bathroom. And I remember she was taking a shower

and the sensor light turned off and all of a sudden she was in the dark and water was on her. And it was just like, it just collapsed into a ball, just sobbing in a bed. Just like, these are traumatic, traumatic experiences and, and they're awful. And you, you find the light. What I was getting at before we hopped into this was how you had that realization about like, oh, these people are waiting in chemo and all of that. When we, when I finally got on this train to get out of Santa Barbara, over oversold for sure not in a place to be around people yet and it was amazing getting on this train and hearing everyone talk about something i survived like something they put up with it was just like my kids still can't go back to school because there's no electricity like i can't

get my hair done because there's no water this one girl right next to me talking to a person across from her said my boss is such a dick i hope he drowns in dirt and i just remember sitting there with my headphones in pretending not to hear all of this and then we lived through covid and i would be outside of a grocery store having a Whole Foods employee tell me how much quinoa I can and can't get. And I would be like, this is really fucking annoying. And I would just hear that girl in the back of my head. And I just think, you know, we all have trauma and it's wild to me that we're not connecting more through it. It seems to be dividing us as a world.

We're just like ignoring something that could really bring us together. And I just, I guess like, you know, if you're somebody that can't just like take a beat to maybe think about what someone else is going through and take a second to be a better person empathy yeah sympathy if you can't do that human kindness then i hope you drown it dirk uh well said yeah um it's wild i'm man that is to be airlifted out of anything is a big fucking deal that's crazy and it's a and that's just what you dealt with there's more people that were involved in that thing it's crazy it was wild i haven't yet to have a great experience i just did some uso showers in in japan uh with eliza and our troops took us out in a blackhawk and toured us over Tokyo. Wow. Yeah. That had to be badass. It was amazing. But even on that flight, our engine gauge failed and we had to

go back. So I'm still like, oh, for two on helicopter rides. But those guys are pros. And I actually wasn't, it was cool hearing him talk and like reverse engineer the entire aircraft by reading every other gauge to just know that like, ah, gauge is just broken. Nothing's actually wrong with the plane. It's just. But you got to go back. Yeah. Damn, that'd be badass though. It was.

That is wild. It was a wild way to see that city. Yeah. Yeah. And such a cool, I'd never done anything like that. Being able to perform for our troops and, and just really get like a working knowledge knowledge of of that part of the world and that way of life that was um did your father-in-law ever fucking be like thanks for coming back and getting me but i still think you're a piece of shit there was uh there was a moment with the helicopters where we didn't know how many there

were going to be how many trips were going to be taken. And he like did come up to me and he's like, you take my parents and my daughters. Like we're staying here. And that to me seemed like a very, you know, shake of hands. Also, real quick, they've for years had never seen me do stand-up comedy. We did a show in Santa Barbara two years after the mudslide.

Oh, wow. And it was going to be their first time seeing me do stand-up. My wife couldn't be there. She was at a bachelorette party. And I took Eliza over to my in-laws, or soon-to-be in-laws at the time. or soon to be in-laws at the time. And the whole time, Ron was like, Eliza, how do you like your job?

And Eliza said something along the lines of like, I love it. You put a lot into the art and I hope people connect with it. And my father-in-law just started going, you think it's art? And just started this devil's advocate, stand up as an art. It became very clear very quickly it

had nothing to do with eliza and everything to do with me about to marry his daughter but everything was like stand up as an art and i was like how is it not art he's like it's not art until you can make a living doing it i was like okay what about picasso he's like not an artist and i was like your daughters they would bring you home macaroni art you put it on the the refrigerator definitely not art and and he kept coming home to uh you're not an artist until you can make a living doing it and we went to the show and uh Ashton's little sister who was then 16 or 15 at the time side stage I tell this mudslide story I'm scared I almost don't tell it Eliza like slaps me in a closet and was like, this is your story. You got to tell it.

And it's maybe like my favorite set I've ever had. I've never, I cried in like a deeper way than I usually cry when I tell this story. And I got off stage. Eliza's husband was tearing up. He's like, I don't think I've ever heard an audience laugh cathartically before. And it was just. A lot of those people out there went through this with you. Yeah.

Yeah. And it was that. It was healing. It was the, I've told this all over the world. I got goosebumps now. But it did feel like- Theirs. You guys are going to get 100% of this and you're going to laugh because you're broken

the same way that I'm broken. And you know that this is coming from love and not from hate. And it was just one of the most rewarding moments of my standup career. And I remember my in-laws just kind of getting out of there before meet and greet and everything. I didn't really get to catch up with them after the show, but I texted my sister-in-law. I was like, did your dad say anything on the way home? And he said, yeah. He got in the car. He closed the door. And all he said the whole ride home was he's going to make a living doing this.

And I was like, okay. All right. I got goosebumps. All right. Still not art, but he's going to make a living doing it. With that generation, I'll take it. Listen, here's the other thing. I laugh about this all the time because forget about everything else.

That generation of men were vietnam korean war and then here we are going i want to act and tell jokes like what the fuck are you talking about and then we throw art on top of like that's not fucking art like this guy had a machine gun in his head you know what i mean like my my friend they're a different breed of men they're like you want to do what exactly my. My father fought in World War II. My brother? Yeah. Yeah. You want to go dance?

What the fuck are you talking about? My buddy Bill Dixon had a joke where he's like, the totality of my grandfather and father's experience is now something we play in video games. That's right. My dad losing his best friend is now summarized into like, that's it. Just a vibrating controller yeah and and yeah i i i can't speak to to their struggles or anything like that and and i i know i'm cut from a different cloth and and obviously i i think i'm more sensitive than than a lot of guys but that that that night was a big win for me and yeah good for you that was wild yeah um i do want to talk about one more thing if you're comfortable talking about it i know you're um you had said your stepfather passed

and i know from the the crab feast your stepfather was not really a fan of yours you were not really a fan of his um but he died when how long ago i think he passed um two two years ago. Was he still with your mom? No, they had divorced for a while. Yeah, I think I talked about it in another podcast, just kind of how we didn't have a great relationship. Just kind of piggybacking off of what we were just talking about, just generational differences. I came growing, being raised by my my mother and father was told be

whoever you want do whatever you want to do and and he had a more dated mentality of like this is what a man is this is how you do it and and we just didn't didn't really see eye to eye it was pretty traumatic um and yeah he passed away recently. And it is... Was he still in your life? Would you see him? How long had it been since you'd seen him? He was in my life because he's my little brother's father. Got it. Okay. Which is a complicated relationship. I love my brother so much. I don't get to see him that much and and

because we're we're 14 years apart um and i knew that his relationship with his dad was never going to be the relationship i had with my dad right uh and i'm not going to spend my i've my parents got divorced i've heard my mom say shit about my dad i've heard my dad say shit about my mom i'm never going to be the person that says anything in, in poor taste about anyone significant other like you, you know, that is, I'm not here to poison that well. And so he wasn't in my life and, and I worked really kind of hard to do that. You know, I, I, family's really important to me. At one point I sold my car so i could help my mom afford a condo because she couldn't afford to get divorced and that kia sorrento bro now i

was uh i got eaten up in the grand prix oh yeah yeah not the cool one i'm not like the one that wanted to be a sedan yeah with wrong branding on it. Uh, you know, he, he was in my life and it was, it was weird. He ended up getting dementia and, um, I, I don't, I worry a lot right now about being a good dad. And, uh, if I'm being way too honest, I think my biggest fear right now is just not being enough. And that's something I want to start writing about more, but because just we've, how often we confuse being enough with having everything and just wanting everything to be perfect. But I thought about him as a dad and how we never got along, but I would like to think that he was trying to

prepare me for the world that he thought still existed. But I was just so hurt that I had, I'd pushed him away and, and then, then he got dementia and then, And then, you know, you lose these moments to even kind of have a healing conversation. You know, by the time I saw him again, I saw him at my brother's high school graduation. And this was before he was like in any kind of like care or anything. But he didn't know who I was. And I lived with him. How did he not?

Because he was going at that point. That's the beginning of it you're thinking about? I see. And I didn't know he didn't know who I was. Right. Oh, really? He was telling me stories about how he used to work in radio. And you were like, what? And I was like, yeah, you've told me this one before.

And he'd go, oh, yeah. And then at one point towards the end of the ceremony, he leaned into my older stepbrother's ear and was just like, who is this guy? And that was wild just kind of learning that this person that you're mad at and for better or worse has shaped you isn't there anymore. That doesn't even think of you. You're not even a thought going through that computer. Yeah.

And here you are holding all this. So much. Yeah. And how much of that has slowed me down, how much of that has shaped other relationships with men that I have, other people in general. And I've spent time being angry and this person isn't there anymore. And, and what was left of him was good. Like, you know, it was, I was like, this is a nice guy. If I met this guy now, I think we'd get along really well. And then you start to remember

the, the good things. And, and, you know, when he was there for you, when he would try to be there for you. And it was just a moment where life just like forces a lesson on you in an instant. And, you know, again, I went to kind of sit, I didn't know I was saying goodbye, but I went to see him in this care facility where he was. And just no idea who I was, but we brought him a root beer from Carl's Jr. And I don't think I've ever seen a human being be that excited about anything. He was just like, just smiling with the teeth he had left, just like so sincerely, hopefully grateful for just a corn syrup beverage. And,

and I was trying to tell him that I was about to become a dad and he thought I worked there and my mom was mad. My mom had been nagged by this guy for 15 years. He doesn't have half the teeth in his mouth. And so she's like, we were married. It was just wild. Just seeing all of that anger just have nowhere to go. Yeah. And for feeling silly for holding on for so long.

And then just being ashamed that I could lose someone like that and really not, I'm not proud of this. I know how brutal this sentence sounds. And maybe someday this will change. But when he passed, I didn't feel, all I felt was I am so sad for my younger brother. And I felt bad that I didn't know how to be there for him because I haven't lost a parent. But I didn't feel like I had lost anything.

And that. No, you gained something, actually. I mean, if you really think about it, I think you said your goodbye when you needed to say goodbye and you realized that this person's not even this person and that anger and all that old school mentality, whatever you want to call it, it's gone. So before that entity leaves that carcass, you'd already made your peace. And I don't think you need to feel a certain way about this person passing. I think the right feeling is hey man my

my brother's father's gone but that's not your father at some point your mom's gonna pass and that's when you'll have that moment with your brother because you share that parent i don't think you're a bad person for not feeling a certain way about it i get it but you already you already made your peace and you felt your way about it the good thing is you're not over here like i'm so glad that motherfuckers i hope he dies what's what's he say drowned by mud yeah yeah you're not feeling that fucking way about this person you know what i mean so i don't think it means you're a bad person but i get the conflict of like i don't really feel a certain way that this person's gone. Yeah, I felt like part of me was broken. Like it should have rocked me a little bit more.

And thank you for saying that, man. I genuinely don't think it should have. I feel like I'm getting my money's worth. I'm saving some money on therapy today. You are, bro. But also, it did rock you. It rocked you for years. It bothered the fuck out of you.

It affected you for years and now you realize prior to that final moment of him expiring that what a waste all of this was for him for you he's not you're not even in that computer as i said anymore and he's still in yours yeah and he's still in your emotions and your stomach and your head that real estate yes was his rent Rent and space nonstop. And you're not even on his planet. Yeah. On his planet. So I don't think you're a bad person for that.

I think it went the way it should. And again, you're not over here like, good, I'm glad. None of that. None of that. I could never be. You felt what you needed to feel. And then you felt like, oh, fuck, what a waste of time that was yeah yeah there it is not not uh you know everything's kind of divided and and it i guess it helped me realize that like uh i get i'll use politics as an easy example obviously this could be very volatile very quickly, but I'm not.

You're doing so good. You were doing so good. Thanks dude, I know. Now I'm just going to torpedo it. Just cuts to color stripes. We've never had them, but I want to put them in. It's very easy to look at anyone that doesn't think or act the same way as you and be like, how could you ever, how could you ever how could you ever but i and that was my relationship with my stepdad like i did not understand his way of thinking and his with you right but i would never question the way that my brothers felt about him and and what he could mean to other people and uh i think that's also one of my favorite parts

about just being a comedian is just having like a working knowledge of our country and just being like, yeah, they should vote differently there. Their life is different. But being able to travel enough and interact with everyone enough. Yeah, we travel this country enough to see when you go somewhere, if you're a real person, you get enmeshed in that. You're like, I understand why you make the decisions you make. see what you mean yeah of course and i don't have to agree

but i right now i love you yeah and and i get it your whole neighborhood behind you die you better love these motherfucking neighbors totally i also think a part of it is and the big part and you've said it several times is you want to be a good father so you had a stepfather that wasn't great so it's another thing you're trying to correct and break a cycle so you're good yeah you went back and got fucking strangers out of a mudslide in a kia sorento you're good two-wheel drive not a fucking humvee no a goddamn two all the way no two front wheel it had a sport mode dude you're good bro yeah well thank you and this episode was great thank you thank you for coming on here and being vulnerable and talking about all this anytime thank you for having me you're welcome dude one more time promote everything you'd like to promote please uh oh wait i gotta

ask i forgot to ask you almost um advice you'd give to your 16-year-old self. So now after everything we've talked about today, going back to stepfathers and mudslides and being a dad, what advice would you give to your 16-year-old self? Might be a long-winded answer. But my grandfather passed away. He was uh my hero my my mom's dad and uh years later my mom found a letter he had written to me when i was in middle school kind of like struggling with these things with my stepdad and i was a theater nerd everyone wanted me a quarterback and my grandfather and grandmother wrote me this letter just telling me as adults that every other adult in my life was wrong. Wow.

And that I could do it and that I should do it. And it's an unrealistic want to, you know, want to be in theater or do stand-up or whatever. want to be in theater or do stand-up or whatever but if you work hard and humbly enough that you know uh your work can speak for itself and you don't have to be loud about it or anything and i think if i could go back and talk to my 16 year old self it would be like yeah just listen to that letter and know know that that is 100 accurate because i i think i'm doing a great job but i i get frustrated when i think about like, man, if I would have started two years earlier or just been, like, a little less scared of shaking hands and, like, putting myself out there where I'd be. Or you could have died in a mudslide and not even had any of this, bro. That's right.

So that's the other way. So just, yes, you can. Yes, you can. Just do it. Yeah. Thank you. Again, sorry, plug in, promote everything, please. My bad. My name is Hunter Hill hill and i'm touring the country you can find me at hunterhillcomedy.com and hunter hill

comedy on instagram and thank you dude hell yeah such a privilege thank you bro um as always ryan sickler on all social media come see me on tour get your tickets on my website at ryan sickler.com we'll talk to you all next week