The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Jo Koy - Josep

Episode Date: December 7, 2020

My HoneyDew this week is Jo Koy! Jo joins me to highlight the lowlights of being raised by a single mom in a mixed family, a brother with schizophrenia and the racism Jo experienced when he lived off ...of the military base. We get deep. Jo gets emotional and shares some stories he’s never told before. It’s a side of Jo Koy you haven’t seen! SUBSCRIBE to my YouTube and watch full episodes of The HoneyDew every toozdee! https://www.youtube.com/rsickler SUBSCRIBE to my Patreon show, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I highlight the lowlights with y’all! What’s your story? https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew SPONSORS: KEEPS If you’re ready to take action and prevent hair loss, go to Keeps.com/HONEYDEW to receive your first month of treatment for free. LIQUID I.V. Get 25% off LIQUID I.V. when you go to LIQUIDIV.COM and use code HONEYDEW at checkout. UPSTART See why Upstart has over 6,000 5-star reviews on Trustpilot and hurry to Upstart.com/HONEYDEW to find out HOW LOW your Upstart rate can be. Checking your rate only takes a few minutes! RAYCON Raycon’s being generous for the holidays, so on top of their everyday great prices, they’re offering my listeners 15% off right now! Go to BUY RAYCON.com/HONEYDEW today to get 15-percent off your Raycon order! HAWTHORNE Do what I did. Take Hawthorne’s quiz TODAY and get started on your personalized self-care routine by going to Hawthorne. CO and use promo code HONEYDEW to get 10% off your first purchase.

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Starting point is 00:00:30 This episode of The Honeydew is brought to you by Upstart, Raycon, Liquid IV, Hawthorne, and Keeps. More on that later. Let's get into the do. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to The Honeydew, y'all. We're over here bringing it at you from the Night Pant Studios. I am Ryan Sickler, ryansickler.com, Ryan Sickler on all social media. I just want to say thank you. The numbers are growing.
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Starting point is 00:01:37 It's $5 a month. You get video and audio weekly. And if you do sign up for a year, you actually will save on over a month of of episodes so i do know sixty dollars a year is a lot of money for people right now so those of you who have thank you so much i know some of you are going to eventually we're going to keep doing it so if you or anyone you know has a story that needs to be heard submit at honeydewpodcast at gmail.com all right uh the honeydewpodcast.com is the website where you can go get the merch. Everything's there. The Night Pants, the Champion Night Pants Nation sweats are selling out right now.
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Starting point is 00:02:30 lesson all right now that that's out of the way uh this show as i say all the time we highlight the low lights uh these are the stories behind the storytellers this week first time here on the honeydew very excited been trying to make this one happen for a while ladies and gentlemen please welcome the one and only joe coy y'all hey welcome to the honeydew joe i'm excited thank you for that was that was hands down the longest introduction of the same pod that you do every week hey i know you you guys go to the YouTube and I just want to thank you and also the subscribers. Thank you for the subscribers, the honeydew, honeydew.com, ryanstickler.com,
Starting point is 00:03:13 ryanstickler, stickler, stickler, Ryan, Ryan, and also you guys. Honeydew, honeydew, honeydew. Alright, the night pants, the hoodies, the hoodies and the night pants. They're gone.
Starting point is 00:03:27 But we're getting them back. And we'll sell them out again. And the coffee mugs. Yeah, we do have coffee mugs. Thank you. You know what I love? You know what would be kind of cool? If there was like that where it's so long that it does that transition filter.
Starting point is 00:03:39 And it's still you talking about other stuff. But all honeydews. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All about honeydew. We got honeydews. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All about honeydew. We got honeydew slippers. Anyways, I got about five minutes left, and I've been working on this one. He's finally here. Let's give him four and a half minutes to tell his story.
Starting point is 00:03:56 You can kiss my ass. I've heard people's intros on podcasts. Fifteen minutes, and they're still not even hitting the content. Brian, I had you on my pod. And you know what I said right when we said action? I said, Ryan sickler's yeah then you went and re-recorded the intro after for 20 minutes buy my joe coy merch yeah i never say that by the way i want to talk to you told me a little bit of something off off camera before we're going to get to but just tell me a little bit about your upbringing i mean i'm such a fan i listen to your stand-up i
Starting point is 00:04:22 know everybody is but what how many how many um siblings do you have i have you know i got my my sister jemma who uh you know runs my business right that's who i've been contacting yeah so she's she's uh she's adopted so we adopted her and uh but you know she's we're like this you know because we're only like a year apart so how old were we went to high school together and everything. How old was she when your family adopted her? Uh, we adopted her when she was like 10, 11,
Starting point is 00:04:51 but it took us years to get her. It did. It took like three years. There was a huge process. So when she got here, she was like, I think they're almost 14. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:05:00 And, um, and we went to junior high school together in high school, and now she works for me. And she's amazing. I loved it. This is why I love you, dude. You keep it in the family. I love what you do with your son.
Starting point is 00:05:13 Oh, thanks. Yeah, your shit's great, dude. Thank you. So you have her working with you. Yes. And how many other brothers? And I have a brother, and then I have my other sister, Rowena. They're half, by the way.
Starting point is 00:05:25 So my mom was married before she met my dad. And then, yeah. So she had two kids with her first husband? Yes. And then they adopted, and they also had me. So you're the last? I'm the last. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:05:36 All right. You're the baby then. I'm the baby. All right. Yeah. And I guess I'm the halfer. I'm the only halfer. So I'm half white, half Filipino.
Starting point is 00:05:47 Oh, your dad's white. Yeah. And so, yeah, that's, that's, that's the cosmetic makeup of the Herbert family slash Koi. Herbert. Okay. Who's Koi? Koi is my nickname for my aunt. My aunt called me Joe Koi, but I went up as Herbert when I started in 89.
Starting point is 00:06:03 I used to go, it's my name. I used to go up as Joseph Herbert. And people would laugh. You know what I mean? You do open mics. You know, the MC, whoever the fucking MC would be,
Starting point is 00:06:13 would make fun of the name. You know what I mean? Like, if I said my name or people would heckle my name. So it was always me with the struggle with my name. And then not realizing
Starting point is 00:06:22 I had a cool nickname, which is my aunt at the evelyn she would always call me jokoy but she would say like jokoy with an accent so you don't think of a nickname that would be good for stage until i was like looking for a different name and that's when it hit you and then that's what it hit me when i was at her house and she goes jokoy eat and i go that's my name i'm gonna go as joe coy and then that's how that all started yeah i'm glad i'm glad it happened um because i didn't know it was gonna be that catchy it was like it was a catchy name but i literally was doing it because i was getting tired of people fucking up my name or making fun
Starting point is 00:06:56 of the name and just stupid so your mom but i think herbert is cool yeah Yeah. Right? Mm-hmm. That's why you – What the fuck is so funny about it, you assholes? Like I have PTSD because of it. I literally have PTSD. Like I literally – like my last special, I finally talked about it. You know what I mean? I was just like Herbert. And then I swear to God, when I said it, someone laughed. I go, that's why I fucking changed my name.
Starting point is 00:07:22 Was it just in comedy or your whole life? No, no. Growing up in school, I didn't think any of that. Everyone loved it. Everyone used to call me Herb. You know what I mean? I used to go by Herbert. I loved it.
Starting point is 00:07:32 It was right when I started comedy. Like the MC would be like, A-Bear? Because comedians are the biggest assholes. Like, fuck you, dude. Especially like the, you know, like you're doing open mics. They're just trying to find someone. I get it. But fuck, it was like PTSD, dude. Especially like the upping. You know, like you're doing open mics. They're just trying to find someone. I get it. But fuck, it was like PTSD, dude.
Starting point is 00:07:48 I used to hate going to new open mics. They're like, what's your name? I'm like, Joseph Herbert. They're like, what? What is that, German? I'm like, no, bro. Just fucking say my name. Just fucking say my name.
Starting point is 00:07:59 It was like annoying. Yeah, so that's what that was all about. Are you close with all your siblings? Yes. All right. So are your mom and dad still together? No, my mom remarried another soldier by the name of Sergeant Frederick Harrison. So your dad was a soldier?
Starting point is 00:08:21 My dad was a soldier, and then my stepdad is a soldier. That dude changed my life. This is why i love you because you because back when you did the crab feast yeah you may or may not remember you rolled over with the tesla and everything you did the crab feast and one of the things you talked about because i was going through um a split with my daughter's mother and one one of the things, and yours resonated with me and your advice and everything. You talked about how you're still good with your ex. Yeah. That you all vacation together. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:53 I mean, I'm about to start vacation with you. You should. Because you're going to be with my ex. Yeah, man. Well, you're going to be my daughter's stepdad. So it's covered, bro. I can't wait to fly first class with you. But what I'm trying to get at is.
Starting point is 00:09:02 It's going to be so much fun. You're just seeing one of those souls that's welcoming versus who's this fucking guy thinking you know what i mean like and and it it really changed my way of of thinking and like just taking a deep breath going okay yeah we can figure out how to do this we can figure out how to get along i got on bat a thousand yeah but i think considering like two people who got together and intentionally had a human being and then fell apart, I think we do okay. Yeah, 100%. I think we do okay. We're at the same age, right?
Starting point is 00:09:34 I think. I'm 47. Yeah, I'm older than you. And we came at a time when we were kids. Divorce was new. People think divorce is like— Thank you. People think divorce has been since the beginning of time. No, divorce is new like people think divorce is like thank you that people think divorce has been since the beginning of time no divorce is new and especially you and i we're a product of the
Starting point is 00:09:49 beginning stages of divorce that's very interesting yeah man like you remember all the movies and stuff they had like divorce court and they had like uh tv shows and then they uh you know kramer versus kramer it was a new thing and i remember being in third grade when my parents started having a hard time and i remember going it's so funny you say this. I remember going to like the one or two kids at the time I knew who had gone through this. Because back then also, eventually everyone has to feel like my parents or my friend's parents got divorced. But back then in third grade, I don't remember even knowing any of that. You know, you're right.
Starting point is 00:10:23 It was. It was this new thing. And when you get taught, because when you. You know, you're right. It was. It was this new thing. And when you get taught, because when you're a kid, you're literally getting taught. You know what I mean? You absorb. We're sponges. And I was absorbing all of that. Just the fucking hate and anger and just seeing my mom go through so much shit.
Starting point is 00:10:40 You know, I think my dad still doesn't understand, like, me not being able to wear socks because my mom couldn't afford socks. You know what I mean? And it sucks. Like, I try. I try. He apologizes. In no way am I shitting on my dad, you guys. Like, I love my dad to death.
Starting point is 00:10:55 He's made up for it. He's apologized. It's back here. Oh, yeah. I forgot I was camera four. I love you, dad. And I keep forgetting. I'll direct you. Don't worry. I'll direct you. Yeah, yeah, Dad. And I keep forgetting. I'll direct you.
Starting point is 00:11:07 Don't worry. I'll direct you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Please. It's hard to take direction when the director is on the other side of this wall. This is the first podcast I've ever done where the director is behind the wall. We're COVID. We don't sit in the same room.
Starting point is 00:11:28 And you hear him through the vent. Oh, shit. Just cans with strings. And go. Thanks, bro. Count me in. Count me in. No, but, like, you know what I mean know me like i absorbed all that you know i saw
Starting point is 00:11:48 it man and and uh it was that whole thing like oh go get a lawyer if you want more you know i mean or let me hide it take me to court i remember my mom you gotta remember my mom's an immigrant that just came to this country you know i mean she doesn't know what america is she's got a kid she never knew what racism was she lived with filipinos you know i mean you know i mean she doesn't know what america is she's got a kid she never knew what racism was she lived with filipinos you know i mean you know i remember being half white half asian and going up an escalator my mom saw a kid you know this is jc jc penny we won this tv in a raffle and just the oddest looking family you know you got to remember i'm a doc i'm hap i got a sister that's adopted and then i got another sister. What's her ethnicity?
Starting point is 00:12:25 She's Filipino. But she's full and dark, the darker Filipino. Okay. And, um, I don't want you to think she's black, but she's, she's a darker olive. You know what I mean? So she didn't look like us, but we're little family unit going up this escalator. It was like 1983. I still remember this bro.
Starting point is 00:12:43 And my mom loves kids and she's like oh hi she's looking at this kid hello oh my god she's so cute she went like that and then the kid went like this he went and then turned back around whoa and i remember and i remember like looking i didn't know what that was you know when you live on a base bro you you know all you see are mixed kids that's why when when 89 came out and Tiger Woods was so fucking big, people didn't know how to react. I remember getting mad. Not in 89. It was like 91.
Starting point is 00:13:12 But I remember everyone getting mad, like, because he said, I'm not full black. My mommy's still Thai. Like, I remember him saying something like that. And then there was all these jokes and people making fun of it. Because I don't think people really knew how to react to that. They didn't know what a mixed kid kid was yet you know what i mean and i i know that hands-on because i was a part of that you know uh and uh and seeing that because i was so used to being on the base all we had were mixed kids i had black and german kids mexican asian kids yeah i'll bet
Starting point is 00:13:41 you're seeing crazy diversity yeah it's just so crazy like we're in our own little bubble and then when you go out into the real world and and here's my mom who's only you know she she's in america now she's got this mixed kid and a full filipino kid yeah and and then that happening and i remember my mom this is how cool my mom was she was like don't worry joe he doesn't know like i thought that. Yeah. Because she could have been mad. Yeah. She could have been like, fuck you, huh? You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:14:08 Yeah. Fuck you. You fuck you, you kids. You kids. You fucking kids. And your parents are shit. Your parents are shit. Beat you to death, huh?
Starting point is 00:14:18 Fuck you. And JC panic. Shit. You know. For the TV you just want. Oh, bro. The scene would kill you. Bro. jc panic for the tv you just want oh bro and i know why that i know why that family was mad because we literally sat at that raffle for probably two hours i tell you this story we i swear to god we needed a color tv so bad bro we filled out every single you know how they
Starting point is 00:14:41 leave stacks yeah yeah yeah take one and fill up. Motherfucker. All of us. Everybody. Every single one of us. My brother, my sister, Gemma just came to this country. Is it this illegal? Is this okay? It says take one.
Starting point is 00:14:57 Just shut the fuck up. You need a TV. Shut up and win this TV. And we crammed it. I know everyone was mad. Everyone saw us doing it. And we won the TV, man. And we were going up to claim it. And when that kid did that, man, to this day I still remember it.
Starting point is 00:15:11 But that was the times we lived in, right? We absorb all that shit. And I could have easily went that route. That's what I'm saying. So before we get all the way to that question, what then was it like leaving this bubble on this base and really stepping into the world like what did you what did you experience in your lifetime well you know i i lived in tacoma it was depressing like what age do you get off the base
Starting point is 00:15:37 or do you go through high school and everything like 11 okay 11 12 middle school you're getting out and now you're going into regular public school yeah now i see what regular in washington yeah now i see what it is right it's so crazy even say this is my first time even talking about this this yeah yeah because i didn't really realize that i was always military life for the first 11 years of my life well you're blowing my mind with hearing about black and german kids and stuff and i'm thinking thinking, oh, yeah, military kids come from around the world. It would make sense that these two people get together. And this is the offspring.
Starting point is 00:16:10 It's it's probably so diverse. And I always say this on stage. Right. I always go. Thank God for the military because they created the mixed race. They really did. They they they hammered that down, bro. You're right about that seriously
Starting point is 00:16:26 vietnamese black you know thai white filipino white black chinese black korean white dude like those are my friends i just named off like a bunch of my friends right there and uh and i still remember them to this day like you know and then when you go you know now now we live in a time like my son only ollie sees are mixed kids but it's hard for me to explain what i went through the last 20 years 30 years was yeah yeah i know what racism is indirectly and and and you know like i hate saying it because my dad i love my dad so much bro because he he went against the grain. You know what I mean? He's a white family.
Starting point is 00:17:08 Herbert. It doesn't get any whiter than Herbert. Yeah. Buffalo, New York. What? Yeah. You know what I mean? Where white people thrive in the snow.
Starting point is 00:17:16 They're only white. You know what I mean? That's it. And what's a bill? What's a bill? Buffalo bill? You know what their cheerleaders are called jills jills yeah jills the bills and the jills get the fuck out that's so white but i love my dad because he joined the military went to asia saw what an asian woman looked like it was like blows mine fuck jill
Starting point is 00:17:46 fuck jill i'm all with your dad went against the grain yeah had himself a kid so wait does your dad um does he i don't know the backstory okay you don't know if they married over – I don't even – Were they married here in the States or on – Oh, no. They were married abroad. Okay. But they were married in Masawa, Japan because he kept moving.
Starting point is 00:18:12 That's right. Okay. And so I was born in Masawa. But I don't know the back story, nor do I wish to know. Okay. All I know is that I give my dad kudos to be 28, 27, and then getting a woman pregnant and becoming a, and being a man. And, you know, yo, he could have easily just got on a goddamn plane and moved back to,
Starting point is 00:18:35 you know what I mean? He could have done it, bro. It's not that hard. And he did it. And so did a lot of people. But let me put this on your plate, bro. This is why I respect my dad. Even though, you know, he fucked up, dad.
Starting point is 00:18:47 Wait, you fucked up. But I appreciate him because what he did was he, I don't know if she, I don't know how it was. But imagine Ryan being 27, 28. Mind you, this is 60s. You know, military. We're fighting a war. Yeah. Racism is huge.
Starting point is 00:19:09 You have white. You have white skin, blue eyes. Right. And now you just got an Asian woman pregnant, you know, and she also has two kids. That's right. She had two kids already. A four-year-old and an eight-year-old. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:19:26 Kids. And a newborn. Children. Yeah, not teenagers. Children. And the dude married her. Bro. I don't know what soldiers make now.
Starting point is 00:19:37 He was probably an airman first class at that point, 28. I don't even know what the pay scale is. Google it. What is it? $300 a month? $400 a month? With free don't even know what the pay scale is google it what is it 300 a month i mean 400 a month with free housing you know i mean but now five miles to feed five yeah how like yo i always say that like yeah my dad divorced my mom fucked up uh can i ask are you comfortable talking about how he fucked up dude this is crazy i'm even talking about this now this is all my first time saying this.
Starting point is 00:20:05 Really? Yeah. You've never opened up about this? I've talked about divorce, but like this deep little middle circle right here is like some details that I've never really expressed until now. This is what we do on the do, Joe.
Starting point is 00:20:16 You didn't really do much. You said your name. I let you run. Yeah, you let me run. So yeah, you gave me a cup, but I'm the one spilling the beans so okay let's take a quick break and tell you about our first sponsor upstart now there's a lot of economic chatter right now about the state of the market is it recovering how long will it take have we seen the worst But if you're struggling to pay off
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Starting point is 00:25:17 But what was I going to say? Your dad. Oh, anyways, what I was getting at is I felt what indirect racism felt like because when we finally moved to Tacoma, which is where my my dad's side of the family moved back. And me saying this is probably going to hurt my dad's feelings. And it's probably not even 100 percent true or accurate. But I know I felt it. OK, because I saw it when we moved back. That's when the fucking turmoil started.
Starting point is 00:25:45 Right. Everything was good, man. Because I saw it. When we moved back, that's when the fucking turmoil started, right? Everything was good, man. You know, my dad had a lot of stripes on his arm. He's making that Master Sergeant money. You know what I mean? My mom's working part-time. We're living good. The dollar is strong in the Philippines.
Starting point is 00:25:59 Okay, that's the last. The dollar is strong. So were you on base in the Philippines the last place before you came to the states yeah we're on base living that good life my dad even had an extension i remember that i remember we all cried and we were so happy when he got the extension because i did not want to leave the philippines you know i was there from like five to like 11 yeah it was a prime years man i remember riding the bike and my mom just giving me like three pesos and I could buy a sarsi, like a soda basically, in a plastic bag and a straw. And you're so innocent. You don't know what poverty is.
Starting point is 00:26:31 You're just running with the kids. That's right. You're seeing chickens in the street. You're seeing kids getting bathed. You loved it. The people touching you because you're American. You know what I mean? And getting barbecue sticks.
Starting point is 00:26:42 And you just buy it. It's a peso. Eat it. You don't think about FDA regulations. Do you have an A rating? Is there an A rating? Can you imagine asking somebody? They just rolled up a newspaper and set it on fire and cooked meat on it.
Starting point is 00:26:59 Killed a chicken right out in front of you. Is there an A? Yeah, we got an A. The best barbecue sticks in the world. I'll bet. And just living that good life, man. And then I remember moving back and it fucking ended, bro.
Starting point is 00:27:13 And it was Tacoma, you said? Tacoma, it ended. And there's other things that are deep with my family that happened later on in life. And that's another reason why I love my dad so much because my brother has mental illness problems and it came when he was 15. later on in life and that's why another reason why i love my dad so much because you know my brother has mental illness problems and it came when he was 15 and and uh what sort of mental illness he's you know he's got schizophrenia and i have a cousin that has paranoia he's a
Starting point is 00:27:36 paranoid schizophrenic my brother is uh he can he can't work or let's just say, you ever watch that movie Glass? Is it Glass? The one with Bruce Willis? Oh. You ever see that movie? Look that up. Can you look up Glass with Bruce Willis and Samuel Jackson? Is it Glass?
Starting point is 00:27:59 Mr. Glass. Okay. There's Amblin Studios. And then there's the honeydew by the way this is empty well there's a character in that movie that has schizophrenia. Okay. Right? But he's also a superhero.
Starting point is 00:28:32 He's not a superhero, but he has super strength. And my take on that movie, I remember watching that movie, Ryan, and I got chills watching it because all I saw was my brother. I was like, that's my brother. Like, this guy isn't really strong. This guy is, he's got a mental disorder. Yes. And in his world, when my brother goes into that world, he can fight six cops. And I've witnessed it.
Starting point is 00:28:59 You have. You've seen that. Really? Are you kidding me? That's all we had was fucking cops at the house every fucking week bro it fucking sucked like nothing worse than living in fear right but also happy because you love you love this person that's my big brother so he never messed with you guys though right he always knew family no no no he punched me once in a bed he you know he you know he's done yeah he's awful he's kicked my dad he's he's my brother can fight that's the other thing he 15 so you're
Starting point is 00:29:32 going through your prime years yeah and he can fight my brother is always a fighter you know what i mean and uh and my brother is also street smart like he's always been on the street so he knows how to work the system you know what i mean he he knows when he needs help you know and he knows how to get help you know what i mean yeah so uh and we figured him out but it took a long time for us to figure him out you know like when my brother's homeless we're like we get sad but then we're like he knows what he's doing you know i mean he's getting his fix and then he's gonna he's gonna do what it takes to get into jail and then he's also he also knows that that's how he gets into the hospital but he also knows that's how he gets to the hospital and then he knows he's got about six months worth of shelter food and
Starting point is 00:30:15 blah blah so we figured out but for years it was always just us walking on eggshells so you said homeless so he would go missing at times and you wouldn't know where he was or oh yeah yeah my brother would just disappear. But then, you know, we'd be sad. But then we're also like, oh, you know, like, fuck, you know, and see my dad struggle. And like there were so many elements to why I understood it didn't come till later. You know, I had to be like in my mid-20s, almost 30 to really understand my dad, you know, but, but then I understood like,
Starting point is 00:30:47 yo, I would have walked away. You know what I mean? I would have, that's not my kid. You know what I mean? Yeah. But then you go see the hospital login book.
Starting point is 00:30:56 You know, you go, you, you go to, to my, where my brother stays and you'll see Jack Herbert all the time. Yeah. How about that?
Starting point is 00:31:09 Wow. You all right? Yeah. So do you talk to your dad now? Are you guys close? Oh, yeah. I love my dad. Okay.
Starting point is 00:31:21 I'm saying you have open communication. Do you see each other? 100%. I told him that. I told him that. I told him that. I don't like doing it. But, you know... I'm glad you're doing it.
Starting point is 00:31:35 But, you know, you get it. You get it. I appreciate my dad for that. Yeah. It's like, would I have done that? Fuck no. That's what I'm saying. You have hindsight
Starting point is 00:31:45 but you're also a dad you're also a dad you could look at that now and be like holy shit how did you do it why did you do it just the element just the element alone of him like fine you know getting a woman pregnant that has two kids and then adopting them in another country another country as a young yeah yeah yeah you gotta be a strong motherfucker yeah and you know yeah he walked away but you know at how old where he walked away he didn't walk away you know i mean like he didn't have to go visit my brother you know i mean no no it's not even his kid like you said yeah and so i get it but like when i when i say i saw racism hand on like you know when we came back to tacoma that's when shit started happening my brother was going crazy getting worse and um you know the cops were coming more um also and then i remember oh i just want to say this because i don't want to forget it because
Starting point is 00:32:45 i i remember one christmas where my dad went to to seattle to see his parents and uh and he came back with one gift and it was for me right and my mom i remember laying on the ground because i always slept in my mom's room you know i hate sleeping my room. So I always slept in my mom's room. And I don't know if my mom and dad were divorced, but they were going through some shit. So that's why he was going there and then coming back, whatever. And I remember he brought one gift back for me for Christmas. And he gave it to me. And my mom took it out of my hand.
Starting point is 00:33:19 She goes, if your parents don't give the other kids gifts, then Joe doesn't give gifts. And then my dad was like, oh, come on. They're, they're old enough. They don't need to get this for the kids. Christmas for kids.
Starting point is 00:33:30 And my mom was like, fuck that. That's, that's not what this is about. It's not about what age they are. It's Christmas. You know what I mean? They deserve gifts too.
Starting point is 00:33:41 These are your kids. And I remember crying like, oh, what they give mama, what they give. Like there's another part of PTSD, right? Like I remember that. But now I get it. My mom.
Starting point is 00:33:51 My mom was a fucking gangster. Fuck you. No. No, he doesn't get a gift. And I'm glad she did that shit, you know. But that was that first sign. I feel like they were always. Dude, I got to be careful what I say, but I feel like, you know, the kids not being fully his, they didn't really accept them.
Starting point is 00:34:16 I'm not going to say it's race, but I mean, I just, in my eyes, what else could have been? Sure. You know? Well, I wanted to ask you just as an Asian family as well up in Washington, like during Vietnam, are you experiencing racism from the white kids in school? Are you talking about when I was on the bases? No, when you got public school. I'm saying when you're. Oh, no, no, because with the public schools.
Starting point is 00:34:44 Was it a culture shock? It was only when you went to like out of the base bubble. So you can live on the base, but you can also live off the base. Oh, so wait. You were still on base in Tacoma? No, but what I'm saying is you can live off base. Got you. But it's people from the base. Got it.
Starting point is 00:34:59 Okay. So you're surrounded with retired military and blah, blah, blah. I see. So the community looks – You're not just out amongst the civilians at this point. No, and even if they are not part of military life, they're surrounded by it because that's the main source of income. And that's what the economy is built on is those bases. And I lived by the Army, Navy.
Starting point is 00:35:22 Like we lived next to every single base. You know what I mean? They were all there. Marines, it was like the stronghold. You know what I mean? And it was when you went out into the city. So when you went into Tacoma, that's when you were kind of like, the fuck is this?
Starting point is 00:35:37 You know what I mean? Right. Like, what is this, a cast? You guys shooting a... Are you guys shooting a Are you guys Are you guys shooting a comedy You guys shooting some kind of a comedy What is this
Starting point is 00:35:55 I'm mad that's what I'm saying It's gotta be a culture shock What the fuck is this It's a bunch of those white people So uh yeah so yeah i mean it was it was weird yeah i did experience like i said that's where that happened to coma mall when i saw that kid pull his eyes back like i experienced that or just seeing tiger woods you know not get treated the way he did i just knew that society wasn't ready for something like that. It was black and white heroes in sports.
Starting point is 00:36:25 Yeah. And to get that one, dominate the way it did. Dominate. And smash the fucking masters. Yeah. You know what I mean? The way that he did. Of course black people wanted to.
Starting point is 00:36:39 Right, that. Why wouldn't they? Of course. Motherfucker, we've been caddies our whole life. We can only be on this course with a white suit on. Right, that. Why wouldn't they? Motherfucker, we've been caddies our whole life. We can only be on this course with a white suit on. We had to wear a white jumpsuit with the golfers. Give my red Nikes.
Starting point is 00:36:56 Now they're like, fuck you, that's our dude. That's our dude. He's black. And then Tiger goes, well, I mean, I'm not all black. You know what I mean? And people got offended by that. But he was right. I got a mummy. My half of yeah that's right half of everything i'm also asian look at my eyes yeah so and but that's how i also felt like identity was crazy for me
Starting point is 00:37:20 people always ask me like yo why do you always talk about your mom on stage who the fuck am i supposed to talk about not only that let's who am i supposed to i do want to talk about your mom because now as a father as and how many kids do you just have is it your son um yeah i have my son and uh and you know it's so crazy because the shit that my mom went through that's what i'm saying like was so how could you not talk about a woman that raised four kids by herself by herself at one with you know a mental disorder yeah coming in and out of which is hospital and like i've said i've dealt with that and watched my aunt deal with that and i know that is dude i remember we were driving i remember we're driving to see my grandma who lived in vegas so we drove from uh washington
Starting point is 00:38:00 all the way to vegas right and i remember my brother went nuts on my mom at a restaurant and he's like give me all give me all my fucking money because she was holding on to his money and you know i think part of the deal was gonna help out on the gas and all that shit i remember my mom giving him the money and him leaving i was just like like fuck us you know i don't even think atms were around yet you know i mean there goes your money i think we were still pay phones at that point i was just like fuck dude like i still didn't get it because i didn't know what it was like what what is my brother dealing with i don't i don't know what that is yet but i know it's just not right and i was just like fuck i remember us being depressed on the car ride home a car right there it's just like
Starting point is 00:38:45 seeing my mom go through that shit i was like god dude like mind you my dad's not around you know when did he leave you what age 11 to 11 okay yeah and and and right like i always have to explain like identity crisis right like like imagine like being half white with hazel eyes but saying i'm filipino and the reason why is because i can't say i'm white yeah i don't even know my grandparents like like when like i don't know if you heard me earlier i go his parents when he went to see his parents like who says that you know i mean like whenever i see my dad i go you know how's your dad when you're growing up dad how? How's your mom growing up? Like I don't say grandma, I don't have any identity.
Starting point is 00:39:27 There's no identity there. I only know my dad. I met them, but there was never this. Sure. It wasn't there, man. There was something pulling us apart. Yeah. You know, there was tension.
Starting point is 00:39:38 Like when we moved, my dad already, my dad's decision to move out was the minute we got there. And, you know, so who else? Like when my mom was doing all these, you know, I do this joke on my last special about, you know, there was no Facebook or Twitter back then. You know, when my mom went to look for Filipinos, she literally went up to brown people that looked like her and was like, Filipino? Like literally. And then a Mexican that look like her and was like filipino like literally and then a mexican would be like what what's that never mind so sorry i am so sorry about that just looking for something like me to embrace to embrace and listen and understand
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Starting point is 00:44:46 This is how my mom met Filipinos. We went to church a lot. And, you know, you see Filipinos there. And what ended up happening is this Filipino met that Filipino, and then they became like this little community of friends. And I don't know what this is, but it's called the Knights of Columbus. Yeah. And it's a hall that's usually attached to a church right i'm not very religious i don't even know what
Starting point is 00:45:10 the i know what the knights of columbus are but i don't know what the fuck it is so the columbus was this little square building that was hollowed out is for you throw parties there but it was attached to the church and they would rent it out these filipinos you know like a little dance hall yeah there was no you know like it's so funny because my son has filipino friends there's filipino stars you know what i mean there's there's filipino people in the industry me you know what i mean like that was that didn't exist in the 80s man so there was no filipino restaurant so you know when i got filipino food is when my mom decided to cook filipino food but man when we had a nights at columbus event and we did potluck oh that was the shit bro and everyone brought an item from that oh i didn't want to fucking leave man
Starting point is 00:45:58 we would literally use empty ice cream containers or Cool Whip containers and we would just load it up. I love your Cool Whip Tupperware. That was real. Like whatever was empty on the table, we would – I think that's why they used that because it was like the Tupperware stayed home and this stuff you can give away. And that's why like – oh, i remember just loading it up like mom just take grab it please mom she would grab pancit and we'll be able to put it in the big neapolitan ice cream container just load it up and we would eat for a week for filipino food and um so that was our little community of friends man you know that's that's how we
Starting point is 00:46:40 met filipinos so my identity was that. That's all I knew. That's why that's all I talk about. I want to talk about my dad's side, but what can I possibly talk about? It sucks. Well, who do you – It doesn't suck. Who did you have male role models when your dad left? My stepdad. Who did you look up to?
Starting point is 00:46:58 Okay, you said you loved that dude. Dude, I look up to my dad. He's my dad. He's a beautiful man. Dude, I look up to my dad. He's my dad. He's a beautiful man. You know, now that I'm a father and I understand schizophrenia and all this shit, bro, I love my dad.
Starting point is 00:47:17 Dude, I want to be that guy. You know what I mean? I want to, dude, to be able to, you know, he lives in Arizona, dude, to have a logbook. Like, I'd love to show you this logbook. You have it. No, no, it's a logbook in the hospital. Oh, that's Arizona, dude. To have a logbook. I'd love to show you this logbook. You have it. No, no. It's a logbook in the hospital. Oh, that's there, yeah. And if you see it, bro, you'll be like, whoa.
Starting point is 00:47:30 He was there all the time. Bro. And never. It's cool. It is. Yeah, take a sip. Can you put some fucking water in here so I can actually swallow the fucking tears? You got a whole bottle over there.
Starting point is 00:47:52 Don't you have any left? Yeah, you do have a whole bottle. Thanks. Thanks. This is from the other guest. This is from the other guest. Leave it there. Joe Coy's coming.
Starting point is 00:48:07 Fucking producer goes, let me clean the hunt. Oh, the cat. The cat. It's the mug, dude. Leave it there. Joe Coy's coming. Fucking producer goes, let me clean the cup. He goes, hold on, before we start, I'm going to clean the cup. And when he came back, clean it.
Starting point is 00:48:13 He goes, here you go. I go, are your fingers in the fucking cup? Yeah, but clean on the other side. Drink on the other side.
Starting point is 00:48:21 Clean on the outside. All right. I want to hear. Sorry, but comedy is my. Comedy, I'm very emotional, right? I know. I am as well. And comedy was my outlet, right?
Starting point is 00:48:36 So I knew I was funny right away. Right away. Like when I was in the Philippines, I was like five, six, seven. Like my mom and dad would literally make me entertain. You know, like it was always joke. Oh, Joseph, do that one thing that you do. Do that. You know, and I would do it, you know.
Starting point is 00:48:53 And I knew I had something. Right. It wasn't until I got to Tacoma and my neighbor goes, oh, you should be a comedian. I remember him saying that. And you were little then, huh? Yeah, I was like 10, 11. He goes, you should be a comedian. I remember him saying that. And you were little then, huh? Yeah, I was like 10, 11. He goes, you should be a comedian, dude. And I was like, what?
Starting point is 00:49:10 What's that? You know, a comedian guy on stage. Like Richard Pryor, dude. And his dad. I remember his dad, how all these Richard Pryor takes. Gave me the Richard Pryor. I fell in love. I remember listening to that shit.
Starting point is 00:49:21 My mom let me listen to anything. That was my mom's number one rule. This is why I love my mom so much. She goes, you can curse all you want. Just don't curse at me. Say whatever word you want. But you say it to me, we have a problem. You respect me.
Starting point is 00:49:39 And she was right. Because it's just words. It's when you have conviction and meaning behind it. Then it's bad. So my mom let us curse. She loved it, man. I got to watch dirty shit all the time. How much does your stepfather come into your life?
Starting point is 00:49:55 He came into my life when I was, dude, I was 16. So I was a sophomore in high school. So 16, 15, 16. And he's a good man. Dude. This is what I love about you. Let me tell about... Were you resistant to it at all?
Starting point is 00:50:11 Oh, yeah, of course. You were, okay. You're fucking my mom, bro. Get the fuck out of here, soldier. He's a soldier, that's right. You're fucking my mom, soldier. What's his name, friend? Sergeantrederick harrison let's hear about sergeant sergeant frederick harrison sergeant frederick harrison is six foot two and just
Starting point is 00:50:34 a fucking war hero bro he's a not a war hero he's a war he's a war anybody goes to war as a fucking hero he's when you say's like you save a life. But he did protect this. He fought for this country, God damn it. That's right. And let me tell you what this dude has, man. He's got two purple hearts and a bronze star. Damn.
Starting point is 00:50:56 By the way, they don't give bronze stars like that. You know what I mean? That's a very special thing. In fact, I don't even think they give them away anymore and uh and to get one purple heart people gotta understand you gotta get hurt in combat to get a purple heart yeah you gotta be at war and and and that's not tipping out of your desk chair and fucking banging your head and shit and all no no respect in the hallway on base you ain't getting a purple heart. And you got a purple heart.
Starting point is 00:51:27 Don't tell anyone you got it. Just enjoy it for yourself. All right, motherfucker? It's a keepsake. No, no, no. All my soldiers, I love you. They're just jokes.
Starting point is 00:51:38 But seriously, don't tell anyone. Sergeant Frederick Harrison was in the fucking, he was in the pits bro you know what I mean he's a grunt right
Starting point is 00:51:48 he's a marine no he's army army okay he's a grunt I was just talking with you you heard that he was a grunt and which means
Starting point is 00:52:03 give a motherfucker a gun and go in. Where we drop you, you shoot. That's it. You're going first, too. You're going first. Keep your socks dry. Yeah. And that's a real thing.
Starting point is 00:52:13 Keep your socks dry because it's going to be a while before you get some socks in the rainforest. Right? And we'll drop some weed out for you guys to keep you happy. But don't tell anyone that we drop weed here. Is that what they would do? They would drop it for him? Man, he was smoking weed, of course. Like, you want some weed?
Starting point is 00:52:31 Yeah, I would. And so, goddammit, I don't want to lose this story. Oh, so anyways, from the mountains of West Virginia, this soldier came from, right? Okay. He's a West Virginia boy. That's why I fell in love with Major Harris, you know, West Virginia, the volunteer. I love that. It's my team, man. the mountains of west virginia this soldier came from right okay there's a west virginia boy that's why i fell in love with major harris you know west virginia the volunteer i love that's my team man i love them are you wvu guy i love them all right i've been i partied there yeah okay um so i i love
Starting point is 00:52:56 west virginia only went there once i'll never live there um yeah but i love I love it because that's where Sergeant Frederick Harrison came from. And he – 17 years old, bro. I even asked him. I go, dude, 17 years old and you enlisted in the Army? He goes, Bubba. He goes, I had to. I had to get out of West Virginia, Bubba. And I go, why? Why would you choose war?
Starting point is 00:53:27 You had an out. You're 17. You still had a year before you even had to enter the draft. Why? He goes, Bobo, I was tired of shitting in the snow. What? What? He'd rather go to war than shit the snow.
Starting point is 00:53:48 Is that not some motherfucking mountain man shit, bro? That is definitely mountain man. That is some West Virginia coal mining. It sure is. All his uncles died in the coal mine. They all died of black lung. You go down into the coal with a bird, Bubba. They give you a bird, Bubba.
Starting point is 00:54:12 That bird dies, you run, Bubba. That's what you do. That's fucking life. Is that what they do? They give you a bird to go down? If the bird dies, you fucking run. Go. Go.
Starting point is 00:54:21 The bird just died. I didn't know that. Hey, hey. Our candles just burnt out for no reason. Go. Yeah, get out of there. The bird just died. I didn't know that. Hey, hey, our candles just burnt out for no reason. Yeah, get the fuck out. Yeah. And 17, he goes, I was tired of shitting in the snow, Bubba. And I'm like, yo, this is a true story, by the way. I go, what the fuck?
Starting point is 00:54:40 And of course, he's trying to be funny. What the fuck? And of course he's trying to be funny. But he goes, you ever, Bubba, you ever have to shit in the snow in the middle of winter on a mountain with no, what is it called, central plumbing? Huh, Bubba? We had outhouses, Bubba. You got to dig a hole. You ever try and dig a hole in the ice while holding a shit?
Starting point is 00:55:06 You hit the ice. You hit the ice wrong and the shit fly out your ass. Now you're just covering the shit in snow. You got to do this character, dude. You got to do this character. You got to down, dude. Your accent, your voice is changing. Oh, I love Fred so much. You know, I thought Boo came from rap.
Starting point is 00:55:29 I thought that was a nickname from rappers. Like, hey, Boo. Hey, Boo. You know what I mean? Ain't that right, Boo? True. Bro, that is such a mountain term. He used to call us Boo Boo.
Starting point is 00:55:41 Like, hey, Boo. Like, hey, Boo. He'll say it to us. And I was like oh that is some that's some hillbilly shit yeah that's country shit you know i mean and uh uh yeah so he was serious he goes uh i'm giving too much because uh it's so funny that you're saying this because this is what i want to talk about in my next special but uh because i do want to do it and this is actually some stuff that i want to talk about but anyways that's why he said i i was tired of shitting in the snow bubba it's rough that's a
Starting point is 00:56:15 rough lap bubba and uh and he joined the military and he joined he joined to be in uh to fight the war he knew it was for the war. And he had no skill sets. He just said, I can fight. I can shoot. 17, yeah. Fucking dude hunts. I can shoot a gun. And sent him in right away. Dropped him in.
Starting point is 00:56:35 Shrapnel. Fucking platoon gets hit. Shrapnel hits his whole left side. Damn. His whole left side or his whole right side? Whole left side. His whole left side of his body. Just metal fragments, dude.
Starting point is 00:56:46 He's got all these scars, dude. Take it out. All up and down his left side. 17, bro. You got to see the pictures. He looks like a little boy. I know. I think of myself.
Starting point is 00:56:56 Yeah, right. It's my son. My stepson's 17. Only six foot two. But it's still my son. I'm looking at his face like, oh my God, you're a baby, Fred. And he's got his gurney.
Starting point is 00:57:09 He's holding a little IV bottle. This bag, not IV bag, IV bottle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck it. You know what I mean? It's got medicine. And then when it's empty, it's got liquor in it.
Starting point is 00:57:21 That's how it was in the 60s. And then they came and brought him a Purple Heart while he was in there gave him the Purple Heart and then he goes you're free to go home soldier and this motherfucker this is how crazy he is he goes I don't want shit in the snow put me back in
Starting point is 00:57:40 swear to god bro holy shit sent him back in I don't a man. Sent him back in. I don't know if it was eight months later or whatever it was. He gets shot by a sniper, right? What? Bah! Fucking hits him over his right shoulder, right?
Starting point is 00:57:56 Entry wound is about the size of a dime. He's got a hole right here. A little dime-like hole. Whole front side just gone. Fucking gone. Shoulder droops over like this. This is how his shoulder droops like that. Still now, like that's from the injury?
Starting point is 00:58:14 Yeah, yeah. Whoa. Back then in the 60s, you get shot. They just scrape out whatever and then sew it up. See you later. Yeah. And then they put a purple heart, and then they gave him the bronze star. And they were like,
Starting point is 00:58:27 soldier, you free to go home. And, uh, and that's when he was like, yeah, I need to go. I'm going to go shit.
Starting point is 00:58:32 I don't know. Shit. It took two injuries. So that's the price of shitting in the snow. Yeah. And he's a bad motherfucker. And he's a bad motherfucker, bro. And he's always at fifth of fucking, fifth of jack, like it's nothing.
Starting point is 00:58:52 A pack of smokes, pack of Marlboro Reds. You know what I mean? Came into my life when I was 15. At what age did you start to accept him? I mean, it was right away. I fell in love because that was that man, male figure was in the house finally. Yeah. That I was missing for like four years, five years.
Starting point is 00:59:11 And also being tormented by my brother. And then all of a sudden my mom starts dating this guy. But what I loved about him is that he loved the Seahawks, but he also loved the Redskins. He loved the Dodgers. I remember when the Dodgers played the Mets and I was such a Dwight Gooden fan. dwight gooden fan yeah right daryl strawberry and you know everyone jumped on that bandwagon you know what i mean because and uh especially when you're a young kid you're just like oh look at this fucking daryl strawberry he's so cool looking and then and you know of course fred loved the dog he was always a dodger fan you know and i bet him, I think I bet him like 50 bucks or something.
Starting point is 00:59:47 I didn't even have the money, but I was just like, 50 bucks, the Dodgers are going to lose, Fred. Was it against the Mets? Who did they play? Look it up. Whoever they played. But I remember when he played, when the Dodgers, no, it couldn't have been the Mets because it's the National League. No, you're talking about World Series. The World Series, when the Dodgers, no, it couldn't have been the Mets because it's the National League. No, you're talking about World Series. The World Series, when the Dodgers played the World Series.
Starting point is 01:00:07 I remember I was a Mets fan, and then all of a sudden the Dodgers are in the World Series, right? And then I remember betting. I was like, they're going to fucking lose. I'm like, Bobo, Dodgers are going to kick that ass. This is a true story. And I was like, nah, nah, nah. And I remember, I don't know what game it came down to but it was kurt gibson walking yeah that motherfucker kurt gibson home run and i bet
Starting point is 01:00:30 yeah and i bet fred that's the bet you bet him on that kirk on that kirk gibson and fred didn't give a fuck he had to love that fred did not give a fuck he was just like he's such a dodger fan i remember him like you put your money where your mouth is, Bubba. You think they're going to win? Go ahead, put your money where your mouth is, Bubba. And fucking Kurt Gibson knocked it out. He goes, I told you, Bubba, you better pay me back. And I never paid him back until just like recently.
Starting point is 01:00:59 At least you paid him. Yeah, I paid him. And then some. I think I bought him a car. I did, actually. I bought him a car. You should have bought him a toilet. Yeah, yeah. I made them. And then some. I think I bought him a car. I did, actually. I bought him a car. You should have bought him a toilet. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:08 I should have. You'll never have to shoot the snow. Yeah, but that was the chemistry, man. It was just like the sports chemistry. He was a Lakers fan. I remember he got this credit card for the first time. It was his first credit card. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:01:22 He was out of LA. He never had a credit card. Wow. Because he was a fuck-up. Yeah. He was a credit card. Wow. Because he was a fuck up. Yeah. He was not a fuck up, but he was a soldier boy. They weren't fucking worried about credit and establishing. Got his credit card, and then he was like, hey, let's go shopping, blah, blah.
Starting point is 01:01:34 And he took me shopping. I was like, what? He bought me a corduroy Laker hat, and he bought me a just do it Nike tank top. I got a picture of that shit. You remember that shit. Oh, hell yeah, dude. Oh, and he bought me a Just Do It fanny pack. Isn't it funny
Starting point is 01:01:47 what sticks with you when people connect with you? Yeah. Well, I also remember that because we didn't have shit. I never had that stuff. I didn't start getting, you know,
Starting point is 01:01:56 he was the one that started doing that for me, but I just remember. But he used to drink a lot and I used to laugh, you know, because when he'd get drunk, he was a happy drunk. You know what I mean? He was a happy drunk, but he was also annoying because he and i used to laugh you know because when you get drunk he was a he was he was a happy drunk you know i mean he was a happy drunk but he was also annoying because
Starting point is 01:02:08 he'd slur it's bad enough i didn't understand what he said when he wasn't drunk but now he is drunk and uh but anyways um i wrecked his van i didn't get my i didn't get my uh driver's license i was supposed to pass the test he was gonna let me drive to prom and uh and i didn't get it and i remember we sat on the balcony. He goes, whatever you do, don't drink and drive. But I won't give you the keys, Bubba. And he gave me the keys. And I fucking hit a fire hydrant.
Starting point is 01:02:33 So he let you drive illegally? He fucked it up. On prom night. The worst night to let a teenager drive. It is. And he gave me the keys. I didn't give a fuck. I got shot twice, Bubba.
Starting point is 01:02:43 Definitely is the worst night to live. He's the shit, dude. They used to put that wrecked car out in front of our high school to scare you into it. This is what can happen. We'd be like, holy fuck, we'll rent a limo. So all these years of seeing my dad struggle with my brother, get into fist fights, and not, you know, I'll put it out there. Didn't declare victory ever. He went defeated. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:09 He went defeated. Sad. Uh, but, but you, by the way, it's a different, it's a different person, you know? And, uh, and you also don't want to hurt a young, you know, fuck it. No, my dad got my ass kicked. And then all of a sudden, we're in this apartment in Tacoma. And Fred's staying over. He's been staying over a lot, by the way.
Starting point is 01:03:37 And here comes my fucking brother. My clockwork, bro. Just kicking the door. It's like 7 o'clock in the morning. Big metal door, right? And I wake up. I'm like, well, I'm looking down the hallway. My sister'clock in the morning. Big metal door, right? And I wake up. I'm like, well, I'm looking down the hallway. My sister's looking down the hallway, and we just hear, open the door. Mind you, my brother's not big.
Starting point is 01:03:54 He's like 5'5", but he'll kick your ass. He'll beat the fuck out of you. Yeah, he's got that strength, too. And he's scary, bro. Like I said, Mr. Glass, bro, that movie, whatever that character was, that's what I saw. I saw a fucking dude with super superhuman strength like yeah that's a metal door but my brother's about to kick it open it's about it's about to happen soon and here it comes bam that fucking door flies open and and then he starts
Starting point is 01:04:19 walking and it's scary bro he's scared and i remember i'm like fuck he's like, bro. He's scared. And I remember I'm like, fuck. He's like, he's mad because Fred's standing there. And Fred's already in the hallway. And he's like, I'm telling you right now, Bubba, I don't want to fight. And he's got an arm like this. Yeah, right. He's basically one arm. Yeah. But, bro, seeing Fred stand up to Robert was already like I was like seeing
Starting point is 01:04:45 I was seeing like God like oh shit right and he's like Bubba I don't want to fight you Bubba I'm just telling you turn around right now Bubba just leave just leave and Robert's like fuck you and I was like here it comes bro
Starting point is 01:05:01 right throws a punch you throw on the right. And then Fred just fucking. Linebacker, by the way. He played linebacker when he was in high school. Slammed him down. Fucking. So I remember hearing my brother go.
Starting point is 01:05:22 And Robert's just punching from the bottom. And Fred, this is how cool Fred is, doesn't throw a punch. He's like, Bubba, I'm 250 pounds. I'm 250 pounds, but I ain't moving. I ain't moving. He goes, you can punch all you want, Bubba. I ain't moving. I'm staying right here.
Starting point is 01:05:44 And Robert starts, but at this point, Robert's just like, Bubba. I ain't moving. I'm staying right here. And Robert starts. But at this point, Robert's just like, let me up. Let me. I'm going to let you up, Bubba. But you better just walk out this door, Bubba. That's all we doing. All right? All right.
Starting point is 01:05:55 All right. Let me up. And he fucking gets up. By the way, I've seen my brother take six cops. Yeah, you were saying. Yeah. I've seen my brother. This guy's got a one and a half arm.
Starting point is 01:06:03 Let me explain to you what I've seen. And this is right when we got to Tacoma. I've seen my brother being laid out like this, crucifix style, right? With his arms like this. One cup on this arm. Another cup on this arm. Another guy with his knee on my brother's back, right? And they're just trying, give me the fucking arm, right?
Starting point is 01:06:22 Another cop like, stand there. You know what I mean? Give me the fucking arm. All right, give me the fucking arm. Fuck you. You want the arm? me the fucking arm right another cop like stand there you know me give me the fucking arm all right give me the fucking arm fuck you you want the arm take the fucking arm hitting him in the back of the head i'm like robert give the fucking arm just give me a fucking crying fuck you i give the fucking arm you're just looking at like that's the kind of shit i suck yeah and you see that shit like robert i didn't want to see my brother get beat up. Bah, bah.
Starting point is 01:06:46 Give me your fucking arm. I ain't giving my fucking, you better take my fucking arm. Bro, it was crazy shit like that. So seeing this was like, what the fuck? You know what I mean? And did your brother get up and? Then my brother got up talking shit, right? Talking shit and he's walking out.
Starting point is 01:07:04 Fuck you. I better never see you outside. Outside. I better never see you outside. Just walk out, Bubba. Walk out. I think Fred was bigger than 250 at that point. I think Fred was like 260.
Starting point is 01:07:17 Like he was a big man. He had the big belly, bro. He was a big fucking man. Just walk out, Bubba. Walk out, Bubba. Just go ahead. Walk out. All right, Bubba. I out, bro. Walk out, Bubba. Just go ahead. Walk out. All right, bub.
Starting point is 01:07:27 I'll see you in the street, Bubba. You know that condescending tone. Don't worry. I'll just fucking tackle you there, too. Yeah. Fuck you up there, too. And then we got to the door. And he goes, just walk down the steps.
Starting point is 01:07:39 Cough. And then just walk down the steps. Just walk down the steps, Bubba. And my brother starts about to go down the steps. And then he fucking turns around. No. Yeah. Turns around and throws another punch.
Starting point is 01:07:51 I think he hits Fred in the arm. Because you've got to remember, my brother's small. So he swings up, hits Fred in the arm. Fred grabs his arm or something. I forget what happened. But then Fred takes the bad arm. No. And fucking on the side of the head.red takes the bad arm no and fucking on the side of the head
Starting point is 01:08:07 and that was it robert i remember robert fucking i think that shocked him and then and then robert uh you know he walked down the stairs and then, you know, yelling and all that shit. But then he walked away. And that was it. I was like, this is the dude. This is the fucking dude right here. That's great. Yeah, man.
Starting point is 01:08:36 And that was, yeah, that's why I love, yo, I love Fred so much, man. That's my guy, man. So, yeah, he came into my life and he and he changed as well you know that's awesome yeah well you changed mine look you did i'm telling you you don't know that but i'm telling you that episode it really made me think differently it made me calm down it made me like all right it was still new to me at the time so i was like all right we got a process here let's get through this let's try to do the best we can so we got to get you out of here but i want to ask you a question i asked everyone i'm so happy you're making it good with your ex
Starting point is 01:09:13 i'm trying it's so important to your your kids we yeah it is it really is man do it like suck it the fuck up i know it's ego is what i have to work. I try to kill my ego daily. Kill it, bro. I do, yeah. And remember, man, your kids write their story. Yep. They'll figure it out. You ain't got to tell them everything. Nothing. You don't have to say anything. That's right.
Starting point is 01:09:32 They will write it. They will fucking write it. And they will know what's right and they'll know what's wrong. They'll know through action. Yeah. You know what I mean? And not only that, but my ex-wife, man, fucking amazing. And who else better to watch your kids than your ex yeah
Starting point is 01:09:45 you know i mean so like just that that family unit even though you guys aren't together it's it's an amazing my mom's the one that said it which is even crazier you know because she's had three yeah but but but the shit that my dad and her went through and for her to look at me and go because i was taking my dad's side like i'm not side i was becoming my dad in the divorce like i was ready to move away i'll see my son when i come back and this is the money you're getting and you know three months i'll come get like i was that attitude and get him fuck and then i was like my mom was like what are you doing like you remember how you felt when you didn't see your dad and i'm like yeah do you want your son to feel that and I started crying
Starting point is 01:10:25 I was like oh shit yeah and that was it alright so let me ask you this I ask everyone that comes on this is so emotional this is the last question you've done fantastic what's sweet about this what you call it sour but what you call it bitter melon advice you would give to your
Starting point is 01:10:43 delicious taste like shit what advice after everything we've talked about what advice would you give to your 16 year old self and we'll end on that oh um you had a lot going on at that time this is the i will only tell my myself one thing uh be more confident but i was dealing with a lot of depression bro i'm friends with a couple of well i'm actually only friends with one person from my my junior high school uh years which was my lowest of low and when you live in tacoma it's you know it can get depressing because of the weather right and when you're going through some shit, you tend to think about a lot of stuff. And there was some shit where I was like, God, man, like I fucking hate it.
Starting point is 01:11:31 Like I used to walk around with my head down, you know, and my shoulders used to always slouch. I think I even walk the same way. I think it's so inspiring because you are nothing like that now. And to come from that for yourself, to do the self-work and to be who you are now, that's. And to come from that for yourself, to do the self-work and to be who you are now, that's amazing for people to hear that. Comedy saved my life, bro. Same.
Starting point is 01:11:51 Bro, and I had a VCR tape that I, you know, you could press E-P-L-P or S-P, slow play, long play, extended play. And I remember if you went to extended play, you get six hours on the tape. That's right. And I could get six hour specials on that shit. And I remember one had – it had Robin Williams live from the Met.
Starting point is 01:12:11 It had Whoopi Goldberg around the world. And I forget what it was called, 18 motherfucking days. It had Bill Cosby himself, delirious. It had Louis Anderson on it. Damn. Yeah, I remember just always watching that shit you know because we didn't have cable i i would have to find a way to get it i remember when my mom got hbo that's when i was like couldn't wait to watch it i would make my a bigger collection but i remember getting that i
Starting point is 01:12:36 would take that tape and record it right and i had it and i'd watch it all the time and and i literally watch it all the time man rewind it Rewind it, watch it, rewind it, watch it, rewind it, watch it. And that's where it all came from, man. So yeah, comedy saved my life. So be more confident. Be, yo, confidence. It's everything. Look up.
Starting point is 01:12:55 There's this Instagram video of this kid that went to go dunk. I saw it. I love it. I watch it all the time. And he's got his head down his face. And he's got his head and his friend. Fuck yeah, bro. It's amazing. I'm with you on that. And that means got his head down. And he's got his head and his friend. And bro, it's amazing.
Starting point is 01:13:05 And that means a lot. Bro, stand straight and look. I make my bed every single day. Me too. Like my house would be fucking dirty. But I remember Fred telling me, don't leave this house, Bubba, with that bed dirty. A messy bed is a messy life. Now go clean your bed.
Starting point is 01:13:22 Yes, sir. And I haven't stopped doing my bed same i remember i took a shower and i was about to go to my pod today and i went to the room i was like oh fuck i forgot and i didn't give a fuck i was gonna be late but i didn't give a shit fix the bed yeah they texted me you were running late yeah no no i didn't say you're making your bed no no the other pod i was about to be late to the other pod you asshole i got here on time you did you did well brother thank you so much i love you man, man. I love you, too. Do you want to promote anything?
Starting point is 01:13:46 No. No. All right. Thank you. You know what? We did all this. We didn't even get to your leg. Come back and tell the leg story because I want to hear it.
Starting point is 01:13:53 Let's go. As always. Man, do you feel that shake the building? Does that happen all the time? No. That was crazy. Whoa. That shook the building.
Starting point is 01:14:10 As always, RyanSickler.com, Ryan Sickler on all social media. We'll talk to you all next week. Thank you.

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