The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - John Feitelberg - FeitelDew

Episode Date: October 10, 2022

My HoneyDew this week is the host of KFC Radio, John Feitelberg! John Highlights the Lowlights of his grandfather's death and failing out of 7 colleges in 4 years. SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://www.youtube.com/rsickler  SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew  SPONSORS: Wildgrain -Get $30 off your first box PLUS free croissants at https://www.Wildgrain.com/HONEYDEW  Dad Grass -Go to https://www.DadGrass.com/HONEYDEW for 20% off your first order Raycon -Go to https://www.BuyRaycon.com and use code HONEYDEW15 to get 15% off your order

Chicago, you're up next. November 11th and the 12th. Grand Rapids, December 9th and the 10th. Get your tickets to those shows on my website at ryansickler.com. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to the honeydew, y'all. We're over here doing it in the Nightpan Studios. I'm Ryan Sickler, ryansickler.com, Ryan Sickler and all your social media. I want to thank you again, whether you're new here or whether you've been here, I appreciate the love.

I appreciate the love. I appreciate the support. If you are watching on YouTube, please hit the damn subscribe. Just hit it. You're watching it. Just click it because you know you want to watch it, and it's a free way to help the show. All right? It really does help out the show. And if you're one of the fans out there that's got to have more, then you've got to check out the Patreon.

It's called The Honeydew With Y'all. And I am highlighting the lowlights with y'all, and y'all have the lowest lowlights I have ever heard in my fucking life, all right? It is $5 a month. You get over a month free if you sign up for a year, and you're getting a honeydew a day early ad free at no additional cost, all right? If you or someone you know out there, you're like, man, I got this story. It's got to be heard. Please email us at honeydewpodcast at gmail.com, and hopefully we'll get to do an episode together. All right. The Night Past Nation tour continues on into the winter.

I can't thank you all enough. Chicago, I'll see you guys November 11th and 12th in Grand Rapids, December 9th and 10th. All right. That's the biz right there. You guys know what we're doing over here. We highlight the lowlights. I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers. And today I'm very excited to have this guest first time here on the do, y'all.

Please welcome John Feidelberg. Welcome to the Honeydew. Thank you so much. I'm so fucking nervous. Also, that was an unbelievable intro. You are. You're a professional. I work with Kevin with KFC a lot, and I'm used to seeing.

I'm like the third Mike on a two-man show, and I'm used to seeing Kevin be able to do that. And you might be a little better than Kevin. That was really, really good. Thank you, man. I'll let him know. I'll let him know. We'll tag him. We'll tag him.

It's really a pleasure to have you here. I'm a big fan, too. I love you guys. I watch you guys. And when I heard you were coming, I was like, I wonder if they'd want to do it and josh potter we were actually at the comedy store it was the monday night show it was josh adam meyer shimmy yasha and potter and i were out back and uh we were having a smoke and i said you know i got kfc coming this week and he's like oh you know feidelberg's with him i was like nah you think he'd want to do it he's like i'll

text him so yeah thank you for making me. Are you kidding me? I come on any podcast ever. No one invites us ever on podcasts. I'm super surprised by that. I think, I don't know what it is. We never get invited on podcasts, but I would say yes to any podcast. I'm over here like, he's doing a rare appearance. It's a, it's a, I'm like, I'll travel every 500 listeners. I'm coming.

No one said hi ever. No, it's a pleasure to be here. I am nervous to be here because i'm so rare rarely a guest i'm nervous to be on the show but i do have one bone to pick please are we like a big honeydew fan huh no okay good because honeydew is the worst fruit that's the the whole point and i know fans are sick of hearing this but i'm going to tell you quickly the whole point of it is i'm having dinner at a diner one night uh they bring the fruit cup and it's got everything in it the honeydew and all i love it i eat the fucking red grapes that i don't

even like i eat around that honeydew and i leave the fucking honeydew just because it's i don't i don't have a passion against it i just don't fuck with honeydew it's just a watery nothing fucking fruit now i feel like a buffoon but so as I'm walking out, I see the tables littered with honeydew. And I was like, huh. And the thought occurred to me like, well, that's a perfectly good fruit that people just throw away. And then I was like, oh, my God, that's who I am in life. I'm this perfectly good person that has been tossed aside again and again and again.

And I get it so i decided that instead of you know i was saying to kfc like we all live sports center on our phones it's it's uh highlights of everything here's what i'm doing here's what i mean but but that's not really what the fuck's going on and i want to know how you got there and what's the real shit behind your life and that's what highlighting the low lights is all about this is the that's the best fucking name and that's what Highlight and the Lowlights is all about. That's the best fucking name. That's the best outlook on life I've ever heard. That's unbelievable. I think that's so fucking cool, dude.

Fuck, that's so awesome. That's so sick. Well, thank you. And I am excited to have you here. But before we talk about whatever we're going to talk about today, please plug, promote everything you'd like. We don't have much. We don't do a lot. So listen to KFC Radio.

We have live shows, though, right? We have live shows, I think, November 10th. We're in Phoenix, 11th in Denver, 13th. We're at the Hollywood Cemetery here. You guys are doing a live here at the cemetery? Yeah, I think it's November 13th. Oh, please hit me up when you're coming back. I want to come to that.

Fuck yeah. All right. That'd be great. Hell yeah. I didn't know they did that over there. Neither did I. I'm going to have to fucking piggyback off your bullshit. If y'all are gone, I'm like, Lizard, here's my name.

I'll wait to see if it's successful out there at the cemetery. Hold the phone on that. It will be, dude. They do movie night out there, and it's packed. Yeah, it's a thing. It's fun. That's what I'm saying. That's great. It will be, dude. They do movie night out there, and it's packed. Really? Yeah, it's a thing. It's fun. That's what I'm saying.

That's great. It should be cool. I hope I got it right, first of all. I hope I'm not completely misspeaking. Not the Hollywood Cemetery at all. Yeah, that's just not where the show is. There's every chance and possibility of that. I want to do honeydew ghost stories at the Hollywood Cemetery. Dude, that would be fucking sick.

You a big ghost story guy? If you got one, I'd love it. No, I don't have one. I'll say, you can tell them anything. I love them. I always like to be like, it's bullshit. But then I'm the first guy to go tell it. Bro, fuck it.

I got one. Let's hear it. I forget about them sometimes. I got one. So one day, right? This is back in high school. And I went to school in portugal rhode island and uh cory's lane was a street the the school was on and at the top of the street there's all the

abandoned building like really like like just dilapidated kind of deal and i had a buddy who broke into it right stole uh like an indian chief uh basically i mean like kind of like a plaster type thing stole it brings it back to his house. Is it like the one that used to be out in front of tobacco stores in the mall and shit? It's much smaller, but like Kramer style. Yeah. And so he brings it home. And then the next day he comes to school and is like, dude, I threw it back in the back.

I threw it back in the basement. Like, I was having bad dreams. Like, I think that thing's haunted. So I'm like, I'm going to go steal that thing back. And I'm going to put it back in the basement like i i was having bad dreams like i think that thing's haunted so i'm like i'm gonna go steal that thing back and i'm gonna put it back in his room and he's gonna be fucking terrified of it so i go back and i actually take a girl on a first date we sneak into this abandoned building sneak in i find that the indian the indian statue whatever put in my car i get a call from my mom like hey you gotta go pick your brother up in boston so i'm like all right fuck it i don't have time to go sneak it back into his room go pick my brother up in boston get in a car accident no so we're like i'm like fuck man maybe there's

something to this thing but i leave it in my house i leave it in my garage like i forget about it i leave it there for years and my buddy comes over like we're in college now at this point we're probably juniors in college my buddy comes over and i'm like oh fuck you know what i have i have the indian thing i'm gonna surprise him with it and scare him so we go back into the garage and i'm like hey abe's by the way look what i have still and i throw him the indian thing he like it's kind of acting kind of like scared like whoa and he slips fall slices his hand open on uh on a like a table saw and i was like all right we're getting rid of this fucking thing just threw it out into the woods get this fucking thing out of here duct tape this bitch up rolling out the world not quite a ghost story more of just a

series of unfortunate events but all right so tell me about yourself because i don't know anything about you let's talk about let's talk about life. All right. Where are you from originally? I'm from Fall River, Massachusetts. Okay. And are you an only child? Do you have siblings? Oldest of four. Four.

Okay. What do you have? I got a younger sister. I'm 33. She's 31. I got a brother who's 27 and a sister who's 25. Okay. Are you guys all close?

Very close. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're not one of those fighting families. Are you all, does everyone still live local? You guys see one another? Yeah, more or less. Everyone's in the Northeast. Two still in the hometown, one in Connecticut, me in New York. And are your parents still together?

They are, yeah. So you got a nice upbringing. Yeah, I say that. I say that I have the kind of depression that you can only have if you're raised in a happy home where you don't really want for anything. People are like, what do you have to be sad about? I don't know. I got the opposite depression.

Okay. I got the opposite kind of depression. You've had a life where you earned it. I just got – I had my – my depression was a birthright. You had to go fucking through it. So what is life like growing up for you? Are you – you're the oldest, so do you have to help take care of your brothers and sisters at all? So what is life like growing up for you? You're the oldest, so do you have to help take care of your brothers and sisters at all?

Or are you just out doing your thing? What's going on? No, I had a stay-at-home mom. Oh, you did? Yeah. What did your dad do? He sold insurance, sells insurance still currently. Oh, yeah? Yeah, yeah.

He's young. I got young parents. I think my parents are like 58, 59, something like that. Oh, so they were like 20 when they had you. Yeah, yeah. On purpose, too. Oh, yeah? Were they married then? They were, yeah. They were they were like 20 when they had yeah yeah on purpose too oh yeah were they married then they were yeah they were married for two years when they had how they meet uh high school sweethearts all in the same area too yep so if you meet their friends

and stuff too like from high school have you met people they know for sure not not a ton but like enough you know i think like once i feel like once you get to the 60s, or borderline 60s, you got like three friends left. You don't have, I don't think friends are something you carry for that long. I have mine in chapters. I have my elementary school friends, my high school friends, my college friends, work friends. You got your three or four buddies you keep forever. But aside from that, so yes, I've met them. All right.

And what's your relationship with your dad like? Good. Very good. Not weird, which is such a weird way to say it. It's normal. It's a normal relationship with my dad. But no, we had a kid who worked with us who I'll always remember. His dad was a Redskins fan, and this kid hated his dad so much,

he intentionally became a Cowboys fan. You got to hate him. No, I like the same sports teams as my dad. In the house. dad so much he intentionally became a Cowboys fan but I did actually when I was really young I was a Rangers fan we were like a hockey house and I was really young I was a Rangers fan and I was born in 88 so I was about six in 94 when the Rangers won the cup and i celebrated that went crazy and i woke up in the morning all my ranger stuff was out of my room my dad's like it's a bruins house like you got you got your one cup but it's a bruins house back to the bruins i had a kid come on the patreon that told us this story that his dad was never

around and he would get to see him maybe like twice a year and this one time it happened to be the Patriots Raiders tuck roll game okay he's with his dad he's watching it and the Raiders get fucked okay and his dad had this like Raiders lamp all right and he gave his son this Raiders lamp and And his son was – and then, again, he'd leave. You only see him like every six fucking months. So his son becomes this diehard fucking Raiders fan only because his father gave him this lamp and they watched this game together. That's a good memory, I guess. It's the honey deal with y'all.

Until you – That ain't the rest of the story they reconnect like i don't know 10 15 years later okay and he's like why are you a raiders fan he goes what are you talking about he goes i'm a patriots fan he goes huh he goes you gave me a raiders lamp he like some guy at work gave that fucking thing to me. I just thought maybe I'd give it to you. He's like, you got to be fucking kidding me. He ended up rooting for the team that beat his team. He's like, I root for the Patriots.

And then he goes, I should have thought about it. I look around the house, there's a Tom Brady thing in the bathroom and a Patriots thing. You didn't put that together. He goes, nah. All this time he thinks the only only thread that of of fuck yeah that he has with his father is the raiders like they're like why do you like the raiders you live in and he lived in massachusetts because my dad likes him and his dad didn't like him at all he

just gave him this shitty lamp dude that's that's a sad story in any sense, but particularly sad story when the time period with 15 years, you said, was like the greatest era of football of all time. For them especially. Right? Like you're fucking in Massachusetts. You don't get to celebrate time. You're rooting against them. Yeah. Because your dad is.

And he's not. But he's not. Dude, every day, literally every year, school's going crazy because the Pats are back in the Super Bowl. Oh, God. And you're like, oh, fuck it. It was a fumble. Charles Woodson's right. God damn it.

That is tough, dude. Yeah. That is tough. What's your mom like? What's your relationship with your mom like? It's fantastic. It's great. But she's a bit of a nut job like

she's she's become like a character on the show yeah where she's like uh she likes to describe herself like her her mother was a depression mom um so she's like she she's not it's i can't even really think of how to describe her what do you mean by that a depression mom her mom had depression no her mom grew up in the depression era so she's like you guys do whatever the fuck you want i don't really give a shit like the i guess the perfect story to describe my mom in particular um would be my eco kevin calls this my origin story um i got uh i get e coli when i was in fifth grade and for any fan of ours who's listening to the show was like shut the fuck up john we. We know. Shut up. I don't know. Tell me.

So I get E. coli in fifth grade. Do you know how? Yeah. Okay. All right. I'll shut up. So I get E. coli in fifth grade. And I'm sick for a while.

And my mom's like – she's an Irish mom, so she's like, here's a glass of milk. You'll feel better. It doesn't matter what kind of sickness you had. Here's a glass of milk. You'll be okay. And I keep getting sick. E. coli is a messy sick. And I'm sick for a long time.

And finally she's like, all right. You're like throwing up and shitting everywhere. Throwing up and shitting everywhere. It's brutal. And are you still having to go to school during this? Or are you just like – Yeah, still going. Because you don't know what's going on.

Still going to school for now. She wasn't like a force me to school because there was a time when I didn't go to school for 18 Mondays in a row and they had to call the police on her. We're going to come back to that. We're going to come back to that. This is after that. And so finally she's like, all you know what we'll get you we'll bring you to cvs we'll get you some pepto-bismol and i'm like so angry that i'm even like i'm like take me to the doctor dude take me to the hospital and so they give me a pepto-bismol

i just chug it and spike it and i went now take me to a doctor. The whole thing. Ha, ha, ha, ha. That'll make me sick. Like that was my little like petty act of kind of like fighting back. So we get to a doctor, into the hospital, and they run their tests and they find out I have E. coli. And the doctor's like, now he has E. coli. Like have you eaten any rotten meat lately? And in the middle of my saying no,

my mom goes, yeah. And I was like, lady, I'm in fifth grade. What are you talking about? How do you know for sure I've eaten rotten meat? And she was making me American chop suey, which is like a New England type meal. And she was like, I had a feeling something was funny with that meat when I was cooking it. Made it anyway. She now likes to say that I was the only one who got sick, so it was more about me than the rest of the family, than everyone else. But this was Christmas time, and I end up in the hospital for

two weeks. Damn! Right? You spent Christmas in the hospital? Spent Christmas in the hospital. Because your mom knew she gave you bad meat. Because she knew she gave me bad meat. And how about this? They fucking come to the hospital on Christmas Eve, my mom and my dad, and they're like, you good? And I said, yeah, I'm good.

You're in fifth grade? Yeah. And my mom got me a Popsicle and said, fucking see you later. And they went to my aunt and uncle's holiday party, which I could see out the window. Which I could see out the window. Charlton Memorial Hospital in Fall River, Mass. The fucking Christmas party was on Highland Ave. You could look out the window and be like, there they are.

I fucking looked out the window and I watched Santa Claus pull up in a Buick LeSabre. They would hire Santa, so I watched a hired Santa pull up. You gotta be kidding me, dude. So that's the kind of mom she is she's like you'll be fine fucking grow up

i told that story on the podcast i think probably for maybe no maybe the second time i ever told it i told that we used to have asa kira a porn star, who was our co-host. And I told her that story. And like, I always think of all like the sad things as funny things. Oh, yeah.

Like that is a joke. That's what this is all about. And I watched her fucking week. She cried for that? She was crying. I cried laughing. Dude, that was the first time I ever thought,

I was like, oh, is it sad? I thought it was like a fun, funny story. She's like, that's so heartbreaking. I was like oh is it sad i thought it was like a fun funny story she's like she's like that's so heartbreaking i guess i don't know i've i fucking told the story every day for 10 years so it worked out pretty well for me well go back to the what was it 18 mondays in a row 18 mondays in a row bro what is that all about dude i was i think i was in second grade

second grade and uh i just fucking, I never liked school. I hated school. I failed out of seven colleges. Seven? Yeah, bro. How long did you take to fail out of seven colleges? I did it in four years, man. You should get a degree for that.

You should have some kind of paperwork for that. I never thought about that. I fucking, I squeezed seven colleges into a fucking four-year degree. I don't know what degree you should have, but there should be some kind of official signature at the bottom of it. But the, yeah, it was like, I was the only one in school at the time of my siblings. All four of us were born, but I was the only one who was currently in school, so I was in second grade. And my mom was always like a mental health day advocate, which was ahead of her time. This is early 90s, and she's like, if you need a mental health day, I'm not going to force my fucking kids to school.

Whatever. And I had on Mondays my best friend, he was dyslexic, and so he'd go to special needs class on Mondays. And I was like, yo, if Brendan's not in class, he was dyslexic. And so he'd go to special needs class on Mondays. And I was like, yo, if Brendan's not in class, like, I'm not fucking going. I don't, I go to school to hang out with my boys. I don't go to school to learn. Right. And my boys aren't there.

And what's the point, what's the point of me being there? And so the first Monday I kind of threw like a temper tantrum as like a two, as a second grader would do. And my mom was like, fuck it. You know what? Fine. Go back to bed. I don't really care. Whatever.

And I kind of realized that power I had where I was like, if I bitch enough, I can do what I want. And the second Monday came around, did the same thing. She's like, all right, fine. Fuck it. Whatever. I don't care. Go back to bed.

Third Monday, a little less. By the fourth Monday, she wasn't even waking me up anymore. She was like, John just doesn't go to school on Mondays. Like, whatever. She was like, John just doesn't go to school on Mondays. Like, whatever. And then it got to the point where, like, probably six Mondays in, teachers in school,

I almost became, like, a legend in school. Teachers would be like, hey, it's the Monday off kid. And, like, teachers who didn't even know me, like fifth grade teachers would be like, oh, it's the Monday off kid. And then it got to the point, I think it was, the number is up for debate. No one really remembers the number.

But we do know that it was the police were called on her, the Truant police. So they showed up at the house being like, your kid has to go to school. We used to hear that shit all the time. Like, they don't exist. I never – I don't – I was in second grade, so I don't really know if it was a regular cop who was just kind of coming on a call or if there actually is like the Truant cop, whatever it was. But it was like the police came and were like, he has to go to school. He has to go back to class. Yeah, my daughter's mother and I just got a friendly call from the vice principal at her elementary school who likes me because she happens to be a diehard Ravens fan also.

So she and I will shoot the shit whenever I drop her off and stuff. So she's like, hey, just this is friendly call um because i've taken my daughter out of school like to go visit her cousins in october because i'm like you know what fuck it we live all the way out here i it's more important right now than first grade to go spend a weekend with your cousins in october i'm gonna do a show you get to come we're gonna hang out it's halloween like let's fucking go and then you know a couple things here and there. And they were like, listen, an approved or excuse me, an excused absence isn't when both parents are cool with it. They're like, it's got to be sick. She's like, so don't be so honest when you say it's for vacation.

We got it. I'm learning that right now. But I'm also like, I appreciate the call, but y'all didn't want our kids at that school for two fucking years. Now all of a sudden you're going to call us and she said they'll escalate it. I'm like, you ain't no escalating nothing over here. You didn't even want kids in that school.

Now you're going to be bitching if they're not there. Get the fuck out of here. Go Raven. Particularly at that age, if the parents are like, it's cool they're not coming, that should be absolutely fucking cool. I feel like that's happening more often now where every once in a while you'll see a teacher that goes viral where they sent the parent home with a note that's like, hey, we're in third grade class.

I don't assign homework. Have the kid go play. Go have a childhood. Play games with your kid. 100%. grade class i don't assign homework have the kid go play yes that's more important childhood play games with your kid 100 and like i i again it happens viral occasionally so maybe it's more in my mind than it actually is happening but like that's so much more important getting to spend your family or have a childhood than it is to like i don't know you passed some proficiency exam that the state makes you take well i know i mean i got the presidential physical fitness award i was a 3.0 student i wasn't a 4.0 student but the things i remember from my childhood are those things yeah

like moments with my grandmother cousins family stuff with my dad my brothers fishing crabbing i don't you know school was fuck i hated it i just it was get your homework done as soon as you get home and then you can go play do whatever you want so i've always i sort of taken that into my life too like if i have responsibilities on the table i'm not gonna go fuck off until let's let me get this shit out of the way and then i'll get that done you know see that's i wish i had that because i don't have that i have let's fuck off let's fuck off let's fuck off oh shit it's dude time to get it done listen i'm not saying i'm bad at a thousand i procrastinate a lot but not all the time you know i think you procrastinate as long as like until it bites you in the ass and unfortunately i've got well i think a lot

of people would say failing out of seven colleges wouldn't be an impingue in the ass. Yeah, let's get back to that. I'd say, like, same thing like you're saying. Like, I hated school. I did not. You said, but there's a difference between failing out and just leaving. No. It was like you're still there. They were like, you probably should, like, have you, like, thought of, like, a trade school?

Like, this isn't for you. But, yeah, nothing of note ever really happened. It was just, who's the seventh university that looked at your record and was like, we'll take it. We'll take it. We'll take it. Well, it's a bit of a cheat because it got to the point where I was no longer enrolled in schools.

I was taking classes on a fucking track. But it was like, I started at St. Michael's College, which is in Burlington, Vermont. I did a little East Coast tour. Okay. And then I went to UMass Dartmouth. I've been to Burlington. It's nice up there.

Yeah, it's fucking nice as shit. It's nice. I actually guess, so I studied abroad when I was in high school. I went to a boarding school, and I studied abroad then. We're going to come back to that. I studied abroad then,

and so I guess you could count those two colleges with like URI and University of Salamanca I don't count them I don't think I lose track of those almost

like I lose track of the days how many days I missed on Mondays I lose track of the colleges but it was St. Michael's to UMass Dartmouth

to Florida State where that was my longest tenure I did two years at FSU did you? yeah never went to a fucking class once. I'll bet.

That's still a party school now. We were talking about that with Bert last night, where Bert was like, dude, I graduated. I was like, yeah, I didn't. You must have, like, however bad a student you think you are, I was worse because I didn't graduate. But in your defense, if you'd have done six more years, you could have got your bachelor's, too.

I don't know, man. I went to like three classes the whole time. I probably couldn't have done that. I think you said seven or eight years he's there. He's there forever. You should get it. Most people have their doctorate. But then I went back to UMass Dartmouth after that, then Providence College, then NYU.

But NYU was last. NYU was like I was taking script writing classes. I wasn't an College, then NYU. NYU was last. NYU was like I was taking script writing classes. I wasn't an enrolled student at NYU. But what was it about? Why would you keep doing that if you didn't have a passion for it? Did you feel like you had to? Yeah, 100%.

See, that's the only reason I ever went to college. I just had a conversation with my daughter's mom about it too. I don't know that I'm going to push. I'm not going to push college. If she wants to be a lawyer and or a doctor or whatever and and you still have to go to college for to do this then okay but if she's gonna go creative or anything like that man fuck college fuck college see i'm like my college if you have to now that's it if it's part of the job you want to do and you got to go to four years of this and two years okay okay but if it's not

fuck college absolutely 100% agree I I and like part of it is like kind of like like being self-centered I guess but I don't need to be here fuck it but it was it was it was the worst decision of my life but also I'm older than you I'm I'm 49 how old are you? I'm 33. Okay. So I'm 49. My parents come from a generation of if you want to get better yourself, you got to go to college. Most of them didn't go to college. So what you're hearing from the people who did go to college a lot now is fuck college. Fuck college. Right. Right.

That's true. So let's listen to the people who went there and went through it and are saying, fuck college, not the people who didn't go, who are encouraging you to do this extra education because you think that automatically it's going to better you in life. And that's not true necessarily for a lot of people. I know it is for some of y'all, it is. But for a lot of people, it's not. So listen to the people that are saying, fuck college, because it's a loud voice and it's absolutely true. true yeah you're

absolutely right even like even when i was growing up and like i it would seem that like my parents forced me into college but they they didn't it was just like something i thought right like society forced me into college and for me at that time i have no parental guidance at all so i'm just going to college because that's what i think i'm supposed to do i don't know i'm supposed to do this next level shit i'm supposed to get this degree and I'm supposed to do. I don't know. I'm supposed to do this next level shit. I'm supposed to get this degree. I'm supposed to go out in the world and then make something of myself. And I'm like, not for everybody.

Yeah. You think it's just a step. It's a step you can skip. Some of them you can jump over. Boarding school. Tell me about that. What age are you going and why are you going to a boarding school? I cheated a little bit.

I went to boarding school. It was a boarding school, but I was a day student. So what exactly is the boarding school so i cheated a little bit i went to boarding school it was a boarding school but i was a day student so like it was what is a board what exactly is the boarding school what do you what's different about it um so i it was porto the abbey is where it was um and you're supposed to stay over though right they they're like they're probably 60 day students in the school maybe something maybe less than that they're about 400 kids total maybe 60 or day students um i'm gonna i'm gonna mess up the numbers but i remember being very proud when i went there that like i want to say it was 27 27 states and 19 countries or something like that went to the school oh wow so it's not

just a local school no no no no no there were kids from korea there were kids from south america kids from europe like it was people from everywhere, which I thought was a very cool experience. It did kind of fuck me a little bit, though, because I stopped washing my face because a British kid told me that if you use soap, you get acne. And I stopped washing my face from high school until Whitney Cummings made fun of me last year.

You know what's funny? I saw your new facial routine, and I got to gotta tell you you are glowing you're glowing you're glowing but no so i kind of cheated it being that it was you never even just put water on it or anything i put water on that was it bro no so that was the only never took even a rag and just wiped the dirt off of it not once over two decades no you should take your hands at least with the water or what and that would be the fucking end of it

but yeah I learned a lot more important things at school than washing your face isn't it funny that one thing this one kid tells you at this one moment it fucking sticks with you for two decades for nothing that's the way I am with everything, though.

If you tell me something right now, done. And this fucking British kid, he doesn't even remember. He's over there lathering his shit up. He doesn't even remember telling you that. I believe that shit forever, man. I still haven't had an almond since 2008. Why? Because a guy in a gym told me almonds make you hungrier.

He's like, hey, if you're trying to cut weight, almonds make you hungrier. And I was like, hey, if you're trying to cut weight, almonds make you hungrier. And I was like, I'm not touching fucking almonds anymore. Well, you know that eating celery is actually, you burn calories while you're eating it. I did know that one, yeah. Did you eat celery because of that? Yeah, when I get buffalo wings.

They bring out a whole tray of buffalo wings. I send it back full. I just wanted the celery. Thanks. There's nothing quite like the smell of fresh baked bread coming right out of the oven, especially on a chilly morning during the holidays. Wild Grain is here to give you just that without all the hard work. Wild Grain is the first bake-from-frozen box for artisanal bread.

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to get 15% off your Raycon order. That's code HONEYDOO15 at buyraycon.com to score 15% off. Buyraycon.com, code HONEYDOO15. Now, let's get back to the do. So why boarding school? My dad went to one. And then, so me and my dad used to go to, because in New England, the Pats were a more recent team, right?

And so my grandfather had season tickets to the Giants because when he was becoming a fan, the Giants were New England's team. I think they had their training camp up in Vermont, actually in Burlington, I think. And so me and my dad, he had those season tickets throughout my childhood. And me and my dad would go to one game a year. And we'd always take the train down.

Is that right? So before the New England dominance, most fans up there were root for the Giants? A lot of the older fans? The older fans. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all my grandparents' age. Your parents and grandparents. Yeah.

But I don't know what year the Pats were founded, but it was because the Giants had training camp in New England, they were kind of adopted as their team. At least that's the story I've been told. And so we take the train down to the game once a year, and the train goes through Connecticut. My dad went to boarding school in Connecticut, and one day he was just like,

hey, you know I went to boarding school, right? And I was probably like 7 I'm not 7 I was 15 and I always say if I'm telling a story in his childhood I always just say 7 because I never know exactly what age I am and he's like you know I went to boarding school right and I was like yeah

would that be something you're interested in yeah sure whatever I'm a follower I'm pretty easily directed and he went okay okay, cool. And the next morning I woke up with like 15 pamphlets. He definitely, he had them like in his holster. I had like 15 pamphlets bedside. I'd be like, what do you know about these boarding schools?

He's like, oh, I thought we were just fucking talking, dude. But he, it was, his rule with my mom was that it had to be a local boarding school that I could be a day student at because he thought he missed out on some of his childhood going to one, an actual boarding one. How old are you when you're about to start this? I went to public school my freshman year. So I was 15, 16. So you happen to have, fortunately, this kick-ass boarding school right where you could commute yes yeah where obviously everyone else korea would have to fucking live there yeah like one of my best

friends i met down there's some new orleans and i was like how the fuck did you find this place and i guess that's it's a profession that there is like people who in like the south where there aren't boarding schools or at least not new england boarding schools um they're basically like recruiters so what is the purpose of a boarding school i don't really know what are they selling you on what are they religion i mean like like oh it's religious mine was catholic yeah jesuit maybe but catholic all right um but yeah we had like monks on campus and shit like that i don't really know what the point of it is to be honest other than like you know they argue it's a better education i think education you kind of get what you point of it is to be honest other than like, you know, they argue it's a better education. I think education,

you kind of get what you put into it. You can get a good one no matter where. But I definitely got, I learned a lot at it like as far as routine and all that kind of shit.

Outside of facial routine. They never taught you that either. The religion so much didn't really stick with me. The religion didn't stick with me because dude, there was one day. We had to go to church every Tuesday and Sunday.

We went to school six days a week, Monday through Saturday. And there was one – I'll never forget this. There was one time Brother Joseph was talking on a Tuesday where he was talking about the Bible and how, like, everything's not meant to be taken literally and yada, yada, yada, which is just moving the goalposts, if you ask me. But the – he said he's like – and yada, yada, yada. And which is just moving the goalposts, if you ask me. But the, he said, he's like, you know, and like every story about Jesus wasn't put into the Bible.

Like there's a story where Jesus, when he was a child, he made another kid disappear because he wouldn't share his toy with him. Now, why would we put that in? Who would believe that? And I was like, oh, fucking me. Like if you're trying to sell me on a supernatural being, the guy, the one who doesn't know his powers at that time and makes a kid disappear because he wouldn't share his toy, that sounds realistic to me.

Well, not realistic, but like – Believable. Right, that sounds believable. But there's nothing about, like, his childhood and shit like that. But I was not a fan of the religious aspect of it. And so 10th, 11th, and 12th grade there? All there, yeah. And some people would say

that boarding schools for sports um i our school was not particularly like colleges for sports i did seven of these malabar seven um but yeah it was i loved it that that was if i if i had to say like what the best part of my life was i would say that those those are my glory days which is a real school which is a real sad thing to say but it's also the truth like that was that was when i was the most me ever i think now do you have uh are your grandparents alive you have a close relationship with them um i had i had a close relationship with one grandfather uh he is he's he passed away um but i have one grandfather who's still alive who not a bad relationship but we talk

a few times a year is he local? he's local yeah he's in Boston and what about grandmoms? they're both passed when my one grandmother passed I was living in Boston she was living in Boston as well the grandfather who's living it's his wife

and I was living in Boston I was probably 24 and I get a call like 9 o'clock Saturday morning It's his wife. And I was living in Boston. I was probably 24. And I get a call like 9 o'clock Saturday morning. John, your grandmother passed away. You're going to have to go over to the apartment and see what's going on. And I was like, all right, hungover as shit. You know, like a 24-year-old in Boston.

Hardly had gone to a sock skin the night before or whatever. Hungover as shit. And I go over to the apartment. And my grandfather opens the door and gives me a hug and he's like your grandmother's in the other room and I was like

what are you talking about my dad says she died he's like she's dead I was like then what the fuck is she doing in the other room he's not crying or anything

no and I was like what do you mean she's in the other room and he's like if you want to just go say goodbye I'm like dude

I am too hungover what condition is she in is she peacefully in the bed you. He's like, if you want to just go say goodbye. I'm like, dude, I am too hung over. What condition is she in? Is she peacefully in the bed? You know what I mean? She's just in bed. She's like a dead grandmother. She's like, now her arms are behind her back.

She choked to death. Yeah, there's some chicken on the table. He's still hot. She's got blood before she's calm in the back of her head.

Jesus Christ. Like, I'm out of, I'm out of, could you just throw out some adjectives before I go in there? God damn. I didn't go. I was like, I'm going to go in the living room. could you just throw out some adjectives before I go in there? God damn.

I didn't go. I was like, I'm going to go in the living room. Listen, I don't blame you. I don't blame you. I was like, dude, I'm hungover. I'm going to go in the living room, put TV on, put on SportsCenter. Could you grab me a beer? And you just sat there and waited with them while they came and got the body?

Yeah. Oh, my God. Not a fun experience. No, that's not good. And what about, that's your, whose dad was, or mom was that? That was my dad's mom. Your dad's mom. Yeah, yeah.

And that was later in life. That was, you know, I didn't really have much loss. My mother's mom passed away when I was really young, but like almost, in those formative years, I didn't really have a lot of loss. I had one before, I have memories, and then the rest of them when like my 20s 30s but her dad you were closer with yeah yeah what was he like he's a judge he was a man yeah really yeah he was a fucking man was he tell me about him he he's just an old irish guy who uh lawyer first

lawyer first yeah he uh kind of one of those like like grew up poor he he was like kind of the i guess he would be like one of the success stories of our family i want to ask you this because this is my own ignorance can you get to be a judge without ever being a lawyer first i like you can be a head coach in the nfl without ever having to fucking play can you be a judge without having to uh study law i'm from another angle i can't give you a definitive answer i'm gonna guess 100 yes you have to be a lawyer but i don't know for sure um but yeah went to like uh suffolk uh college up in massachusetts university of massachusetts put himself through uh george washington or georgetown law and then um yeah and then so he

he's like kind of like the grew up poor and kind of made something of himself kind of deal. But he's just fucking, he's actually one of the people I miss the most in the sense that like he was so, he was wise. Right? Like I don't know any wise people anymore. Tell me some, give us some wisdom here. I don't have any. All of us could use it. I don't have anything really specific.

Nothing that stands out that he ever said anything to you or like, man. So wait, you're telling me. out that he ever said anything to you were like man so wait you're telling me that you have a judge for a grandfather had excuse me who's one of the wisest men you ever met you can't tell me what thing he said but you can remember this 10 year old fucking british kid telling you not to wash your motherfucking face you're 100% right dude you definitely belong on this show I can give you the best advice he ever gave me is don't die and I mean that

literally in the sense that like he's a judge he's obviously a real sharp mind he was sharp as a tack up until the day he died but he fucking went through hell man like his last 15 years of life were just a battle like always in and out of the hospital always different kind of surgeries he ended up like he uh hepinephrine i think was a painkiller used found him during surgery and then he was allergic to that so they had to cut off his arm no foot cut off some toes on the other foot and he was like he always told my mom he's like until my mind goes do not like don't let me die he's like it wasn't one of those they're basically hacking him apart

on his way out as long as i'm still here and that's fucking i'm gonna be here and that's a medical mistake yeah i mean you know just your arm just doesn't fucking fall off in your 70s holy shit and he was like i don't give a fuck as long as i know who everybody is and i can still know what's going on exactly if i can have a conversation i want to hear up man if i'm a bust on the fucking fireplace keep me alive god damn which is is uh i kind of like that as long as i'm still here he's also from a a man from a different generation too you know what i mean like those guys are like what are you being such a pussy exactly yeah dude i was saying that with burt last night where burt was talking about one

of his dogs i forget if it was mac or izzy but uh has anxiety i was like can you imagine telling your fucking grandparents my dog has anxiety it would take that dog up back and they killed him your dog doesn't have anxiety anymore how come grandpa don't worry about it ran away i gotta i gotta leave dinner early i get home and give the dog its pills in case there's a thunderstorm tonight That is definitely what's going on. The dog needs its meds. You know I stormed Normandy, right? Oh, God. Imagine telling a man that.

They see some real shit. Bro, I fucking thought fascism, man. Guys throwing up on my back while we're getting ready to be shot at. Like, what? Oh, God. You can't eat peanuts get the fuck out of here yeah man we have got soft i tell that i tell that story because i had a uh i had a situation with the next girlfriend where it was like things went bad. Things were bad. It was like suicidal threats and all that kind of stuff, like pregnancy, fake pregnancies and kind of shit like that. And one morning I woke up and I had fucking – I spit blood into the sink, like mouthfuls of blood.

I woke up gagging, ran to the sink, spit just fucking red everywhere. Like, mouthfuls of blood. I was like, woke up gagging, ran to the sink, spit just fucking red everywhere. And I fucking, I pulled my lip down to see what the, like, because I could feel it get hurt all down here. And I pulled my lip down, and it looks rotten. Like, all my gums look fucking rotten. I call my dentist. I was like, I got to come in.

Like, I got an emergency. And I used to chew tobacco a lot. So I was thinking, like, it's something like cancer finally got me or some shit like that. And I get to the dentist, and he's like, all right, sit down. He looks at my mouth. He goes, well, first things first, it's not cancer. I know you're scared of that. I was like, all right. Did you have your mom's meat again?

No? All right. Let's go deeper here. He goes, well, can i ask you do you have any stress in your life right now and i was like buddy dr k why don't you sit down i'll tell you and uh and he goes because what you have is a thing called trench mouth and i was like i have what and he's like it's what they got in world war one in the trenches and it had nothing to do with the bacteria it had to do with the stress and anxiety

of being scared of like agent orange and i was like are you fucking kidding me that men used to fear biochemical weapons and now this chick's scaring me like i have the same fear like my forefathers had in the fucking trenches fighting fascism in 1918 dude then i'm like because not even the sequel. The original one. She left me a voicemail shaking a bottle of pills and saying she's going to end it. That fucking put me in the same state as them. There's fucking German tax

rolling over my head, motherfucker. And that's all the stress they got. Just a little bit of shit down here. That's all. They woke up spitting blood a little bit of shit down here. That's all. They woke up spitting blood once or twice, and they went back to war. Damn. So what was going on in your life at that time? I mean, with going through all these colleges, are you just trying to find your place?

And then when do you? I wouldn't argue I still haven't really i i you're on the right path so when does that find because college definitely wasn't it college wasn't it but i think that was because of me like that was my fault like i i uh i was popular i guess in high school like i was a good athlete it was fun it was cool right so like no the our school actually never really had like because it was so small didn't really have those kind of clicks like everyone's friends. So it wasn't like I was part of the popular crew, but like people liked me and like that was fine. So I would get to college and we do those orientation type things.

And because I was like, I was cool, dude, I was too cool to do that shit. And so I wouldn't go to play the name game or whatever fucking bullshit you do with orientation. And guess what you don't meet anyone that way so then like i wouldn't have any friends and then i'd be like well i don't have any friends why do i fucking like it here and then i'd think well i'll go i'll try a new place and i'll make friends there but there i'd still be like i'm too cool for friends and i'd never really never i'd never found my place in college even when i like i joined a fraternity when i went to fsu hoping that do it. Did not fit in there at all.

What did you have to do to get in? Nothing, because how about this? I played club hockey at FSU. Ice hockey? Yeah. Oh, you play hockey? Yeah. Okay.

Florida State has a fucking ice hockey team? It's a club hockey team that at the time wasn't particularly good. I don't know how they're doing now. But I remember when I first went to tryouts, they were like, all right, who here has hockey experience? everyone raised their hands like who has ice hockey experience like everyone put their hands down i was like this is the ice hockey team guys it's like the fuck you mean you've never played ice hockey before um but uh they'd be because in the fraternity they thought that that was like an actual sport like i was equal to fucking jamis winston like they thought we were on the same

plane and uh so they didn't make me do anything and then but then the hockey team knew that like fraternities were king so like i could call out a practice for hockey saying i had to do frat stuff i could call out a pledge stuff at the fraternity saying to do hockey stuff and i could sit at home and not hang out with anybody and get depressed. And not meet more friends. And not meet people. I could lie to both organizations I joined and make friends. You found a lot of loopholes to stay alone. I was really depressing. You're right.

But yeah, I forget what I was saying there. Just when you really started to feel like at home and like where you started to start to think, all right, what I was saying there. Just when you really started to feel at home and where you started to think, all right, maybe I got something here. What do you do right out of college? After college is done. The reason I stopped going to NYU where I was just taking classes was I got an internship at Barstool. Okay.

So that was 12 years ago, right? I got an internship at Barstool and I was Kevin's intern. I was kevin's intern i was kfc's intern and um i got i got really lucky with that because i was one of the finalists in the boston intern search and i didn't get that that gig so i didn't know how to edit i didn't know how to do anything and that's what they were looking for um but then i was like well i'll just try new york i'll just try new y York and see what happens there. And Kevin gave me the gig.

And I was very lucky for that because Kevin right away kind of gave me some freedom and some like, let me be myself. Where it was, he's like, yeah, write, blog, who cares? Whereas the Boston intern had to be more of like Dave's pet kind of deal. I think Dave called him the intern slave. And whereas Kevin was like, no, he didn't treat me like an equal. but he was like, yeah, if you want to work, work, you know, try your best. And then that kind of, that spiraled into Dave being like, who is this guy? Like, where's he from? And he found out he's from Massachusetts, brought me back to Massachusetts, worked there until we moved offices six years ago. But like, I mean, I guess, yeah, I mean,

if you asked an outsider if you asked someone else like have i found my place they'd probably say yeah of course like you know he's been at barcelona for 12 years he's one of the first employees he's got a successful podcast but i don't think at all that i've found my place oh i've never been comfortable walking into a room being like i have i have myself i've are you happy with what you do? Do you like working for you? Those are different questions. I like working for me. I guess, yes, I am happy with what I do.

Yes. I don't think I'm happy with life. What's your place then? What do you see yourself doing ultimately? I've said that one day, and it probably is sooner or later. And you're how old? 30? 33.

Okay. I hope to just disappear and go up to, we've actually invented- DB Cooper? Yeah. We've invented a city. It's Stepping Stone, Vermont. We're like, I just go to this little town in Vermont and I fucking write for the local paper and I ski and I hang out and that's like i'm not on the internet anymore i'm not

public anymore you know but that would be but that that's that's the seven-year plan we'll call it by 40 we're fucking out of here really out by 40 i mean i'm joking a little bit but yeah like if you could be you would if i could be i probably would i i i don't like it just like it i don't i don't like logging onto the internet every morning it it does not make me happy i i've i've for a long time i've tried and distanced myself more and more which is like it's hard in our line of work right yeah i gotta promote every day you gotta put some goddamn content up and try to get away from the shit right yeah and it is like the the comments and stuff like that bother me. I know a lot of people like to pretend like they're above it and like, oh, fuck it.

Listen, that's because you were loved. That's because you were loved. A lot of people, it doesn't bother me. My mom told me she hated me, bro. Fuck your comment. You're a pool guy with nine followers, fuckface. That shit, like, dude, i'll get a hundred a hundred be like 100 positive comments you know i remember the one that wasn't um and it is like like i've

tried to i i mute you know you get a bad comment i mute that person fuck it they're never gonna hear from them again but like every day it definitely wears on me like i just logging in every day is like it I can feel it shift away. And I hope to salvage a little bit by the end of this. So what do you, do you want to be a dad? You see yourself being a dad? I don't not want to be a dad. If it happens, it happens.

I can't see myself being a dad. I don't think I'd be a good one. Why? I'm very selfish. And I think that's okay. I actually think selfish gets a bad rap. Where I think like, look,

we only got one of these lives. If like, I'd like to do the things I want to do. I don't know. Like I, I really love traveling. I really love doing what I want to do when I want to do it.

And I realized that if I have to care for someone else, like that's not my option. Yeah. So like if it's, it's not in like a five-year plan or 10-year plan, you know, maybe one day,

but currently right now, I'm not like, I'm not having a vasectomy tomorrow, but currently right now, I know I don't, I don't want kids. And do you have any, your parents seem very supportive.

Is there any pressure from them? Oh, fuck no. No, they don't mind. I have four. You have three kids, four of you.

They're four of us. Yeah. And they're not pressuring any of you? No, but my sister is pregnant. I guess maybe by the time this is out, she might have had a kid. Oh, yeah? Is that going to be an uncle the first time? First time, yeah.

Are you excited about that? I'm very excited, yeah. I think it'll be cool. You think you'll be a better uncle than a father? I think so. I don't think I'd be a bad dad, but again, like I said, I just want to be... Well, with the uncle, you have exactly that. Exactly. I'm out. Yeah, see you later. My grandma

used to say all the time, when we leave, she's like, I love you to come, I love you to go. Shut up, Grandma. That is fucking awesome. I like that. You're not stuck here or mine. But yeah, I'm very excited I'm a godfather

which isn't the same thing at all I think maybe in some relationships it is but I'm a godfather to a kid who actually just moved out east but he used to be out here in San Diego I'd barely met in most of his life so that's not really being a godfather I'd send him presents on his birthday

that's basically what I did but I'm excited and maybe being an uncle will change things but right now that's what really being a godfather. I'd send him presents on his birthday. That's basically what I did. But I'm excited. I'm excited. And maybe being an uncle will change things. But right now, like, when I see – That's the start for me. Yeah. Yeah.

Like, every kid I see, like, I don't have any connection to. I don't have any love for. So maybe this will be different. But, like, every kid I see, I'm like – I look at the parents. I'm like, I know you'd be happy if that wasn't here. Like, particularly in New York where you see people, see people hot, dripping sweat, pushing a stroller. I'm like, wouldn't it be nice to be able to just pop into that bar and have a cold beer and chill out for a little bit? You ain't doing that.

Instead of going to the fucking M&M's store. I got a kid and a puppy. I'm like, what the fuck? I got so much to consider any time I go out somewhere. I'm like, y'all kid friendly? Yeah, you got crayons? Yeah, you love puppies? Yeah, all right.

Even puppies. I love my family as a dog i love my dogs um but personally like i i live with my girlfriend for a while uh we've since split up but the she was she really wanted a dog and i was like when i come home from work i just want to chill like i i that's probably that love is probably something that's missing in my life and probably would do me well um but i'm like i want to just like i don't want a responsibility i kind of want to just fucking hang out i'm a man child i'm a i'm a peter pan yeah yeah yeah you're not interested in growing up i not right now you know and it's not like i'm sure i should i that's the thing i should i should be interested in it right now i'm not what do you what do you are you scared of something or are you just enjoying everything so much you just don't want to fucking change

it's a good question i don't really know i i am enjoying what i do right i i think again if you want to talk like core happiness probably not which probably relates to the other stuff again um but the like i'm enjoying stuff i don't i don't really i'm having fun right now i'm having fun out in la all this stuff um i don't i don't have an active fear like there's nothing in my forefront of my mind i'm sure i'm sure it's subconsciously there's shit but i don't have any like active fear of of growing up or of getting older anything like that it's just not into it at the moment it's interesting I hear your your life and it's you know boarding school and then the colleges and right into

Barstool so I'm not hearing anything in my life like building above ground poles and working at UPS shout out to UPS Baltimore Hub Primary 1 1 Drive. You know, lifeguard. Oh, I had all those gigs. Work in the junkyards. But, I mean, you go into a pretty damn good gig. Well, I mean, at the time, Barstool was not a good gig. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, it wasn't at first. Saturdays are for the boys.

Is that you? That is me and a stranger at a bar in Newport, Rhode Island. Saturdays are for the boys Is that you? That is me And a stranger at a bar In Newport, Rhode Island Tell me about it That was We were out with friends And some old dude at a bar

Just kind of like raised the glass To nobody in particular Newport's a sailing town So he's kind of like a Seafared man kind of like the grizzly beard kind of the leather skin and he just went gentlemen fridays are for the men but saturdays are for the boys like i honestly i to this day i don't know what the fuck it means uh i guess if friday you were at work and you know it's men do and saturdays like when you're the boy out and you kind of just rip and run. That's how I've taken it.

I don't really know what it means. And I tweeted it and it kind of just went crazy. Like it went – which actually is funny now looking back on it. It's really not that viral. If you go find the tweet, it really isn't that viral. Like compared to – I'll see 50 tweets today. Far more viral than that was. But people – it resonated with people. They liked it and like so it became this thing that like on saturdays um people would just wake up and they

tweet me gifs like of like i don't know things like like braveheart all the boys running in that kind of shit and uh and then that may have happened one or two saturdays in a row and then me and my buddy who i was living with at the time like this might be something here like let's try and turn this into something. So we did, we started doing four Saturdays in a row. We did like something kind of wild, something one, we went like cliff jumping and like just jumped up to cliff.

And you did it? Yeah. Okay. But I started with skydiving. I went skydiving where I was like, got the video and just jumped out like, Saturday, and then cliff jumping.

And then we rented a yacht, which was, that was actually kind of my fun my favorite video we did was like we had a yacht like a three-story yacht i don't know how the fuck we got this like it was the kid who i live with his name lou he was like a salesman of sorts and uh not sorts he's a hell of a salesman and um he somehow finagled his way into getting us a yacht i don't know we did not have yacht money So somehow we got a yacht for the day. He might have fucking stolen it for all I know.

And we went up with chicks and then we just threw them all off the third level. We were like, size for the boys, get the chicks out of here. And then the last one was we did a helicopter that's usually reserved for proposals. They carve marry me into the beach for you. But we had them carve size for the boys into the beach. And then we were kind of just in the helicopter going nuts. And then that kind of just – off that kind of just became – It took off.

It took off. Like probably two years. Like it was a really, really big deal for an obnoxious amount of time. I love that. I once – when I was – I had a producing gig for a long time. I'd have different producing gigs, but I worked for Oprah Winfrey's network, right? And they wanted us to go downtown to L.A. There was this big black dude that made delicious fucking cupcakes, and it was called Big Man Bakes, okay? So during the interview, we're talking, and I'm like, now, how did you get this name, Big Man Bakes?

And he said the same sort of thing. He said he's out of par. So he said that he really liked this one girl one time, and they were just classmates. And she came in crying one day. He's like, what's the matter? She's like, today's my birthday, and my boyfriend didn't get me a cake or anything. And he liked her so much, he went home and baked her a cake. And then he brought her to her, and it was so fucking horrible that she didn't even want to eat it but she liked the idea and

after that he decided well fuck it no one deserves to not have a cake on their birthday i'm gonna start making cakes which turned into cupcakes right so he starts making these fucking ridiculous i mean this dude's massive makes these kick-ass okay? And he takes them to a party one night. And someone on the other side of the room is like, man, who made these fucking cupcakes? And then they all pointed to Big Black Dude. And he goes, oh, Big Man Bakes? And he was like, boom. And now he's got like three fucking chains downtown LA and kicking ass.

No shit. It's awesome. That's fucking cool as hell. Big Man Bakes. Well, thank you for coming on here. I's awesome. That's fucking cool as hell. Big man base. Well, thank you for coming on here. I'm going to ask you this question, though. I'm not done with you yet.

Because you have an interesting life. I want to know advice you would give to your 16-year-old self. Dude, you know what actually is unfortunate is we kind of touched on it. I think I'd say don't go to college. I think I'd say that. But also, now that I say that out loud, it kind of... Not seven up. It might be bad advice.

Maybe go to three. I think despite that there was no success, I have no piece of paper, I think they were important years of my life in finding out what works for me, what doesn't work for me. So maybe college was a good idea. Fuck, man.

Honestly, these are all in my forefront because of what we talked about, but I'd say spend more time with your grandfather. I do. Very often in the news these days, I wish. I'm like, fuck, man, I wish I could call up Gramps. He'd have some interesting shit to say about this. Do you regret not getting to spend more time with him yeah and i i very much regret um like just doing like that like kind of 14 year old shit where it's like go see your grandfather it's like no

fuck i want to hang out with my friends um which is i mean i know that's the lamest advice i know it's not i mean i say it all the time man man. My dad died when I was 16. These days, they've been like, hey, do you want to take that ride up to Kmart real quick? Get some. I'd be like, no. I play my video games. Nah. Now, I'd be like, fuck, yeah. But you're 14.

You're not supposed to want to do that shit. I know. And it's like, it's the advice that's been handed down for centuries, and it just won't stick. It doesn't matter. So it's bad advice to give to a 16-year-old because it's not going to fucking affect them one bit. But yeah, I miss family.

I wish I spent more time with family. Yeah, that's great. Would you like to plug and promote everything again, please? If we're right, who knows? But Denver, November 10th. Phoenix, November 11th. Hollywood Cemetery, maybe? I'm going to Google it again.

November 12th. But yeah, looking forward to being out here. And then KS Radio, YouTube, and all that nonsense. Dude, thank you so much for coming on. Dude, thank you so much. This was great. I laughed a lot. This was a good time.

Thank you very much. As always, Ryan Sickler on all social media, ryansickler.com. We'll talk to you all next week.