The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Jon Reep - HoneyReep

Episode Date: January 17, 2022

My HoneyDew this week is Jon Reep! Jon Highlights the Lowlights of his father's stroke and shares a story about the time his father was a cop and had to kill a man in self-defense! SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOU...TUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://www.youtube.com/rsickler  SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew  SPONSORS: Liquid I.V. -Get 25% off when you go to https://www.Liquid-IV.com and use code HONEYDEW at checkout Raycon -Get 15% off your Raycon order at https://www.BuyRaycon.com/HONEYDEW  Athletic Greens -Get a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase when you go to https://www.AthleticGreens.com/HONEYDEW  Manscaped -Get 20% off and free shipping with the code HONEYDEW at https://www.Manscaped.com 

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling, winning, in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem?
Starting point is 00:00:23 Call 1-866- 531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca Please play responsibly. Kansas City. I can't wait to get to your wonderful town. I'll be there January 20th through the 22nd. Get your tickets for those dates and all dates at
Starting point is 00:00:39 ryansickler.com The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler dot com. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to the Honeydew, y'all. We're over here doing it in the Night Pants studios. I am Ryan Sickler. Ryan Sickler dot com. Ryan Sickler on all your social media. Night Pants Nation Tour, headed
Starting point is 00:01:07 to Kansas City this weekend, Thursday to Saturday. Vancouver, I'll be there February 17th to the 19th. Go to ryansickler.com for all your tickets. And if you're watching on YouTube, please subscribe. I say every week, it does nothing
Starting point is 00:01:23 for you and everything for us. If you're watching, hit that subscribe. We appreciate it. Patreon, man, the stories we continue to get. We just did a Patreon episode with a girl who was a sperm donor baby. She was a sperm donor baby. She said test tube baby, whatever you want to call them. What she found out is she's potentially one of like 500 fucking kids. Just since we've released that episode,
Starting point is 00:01:54 in the thread, she's already connected with other brothers and sisters. It's crazy. It's five bucks a month. You get the Honeydew a day early ad free at no additional cost. If you sign up for a year, you're getting over a month. You get the Honeydew a day early ad free at no additional cost. If you sign up for a year, you're getting over a month free. If you or someone you know that has
Starting point is 00:02:09 that story that has to be heard, please submit it to honeydewpodcast at gmail.com. Hopefully we'll get to do an episode together. All right. Look, you know what we do over here. We highlight the low lights. I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers. I'm very excited to have this storyteller on
Starting point is 00:02:24 today here for the first time, y'all. Please welcome John Reif, everybody. Welcome to the Honeydew, John. Thank you. Be seated. Good to be here. Thanks for having me, man. You're welcome.
Starting point is 00:02:36 I really appreciate it. It's been a minute. We've been going back and forth for a while. Yeah. Well, I feel like we're ships passing in the night anyway. You're always on the road. I'm always on the road. And you're based here. I'm in North Carolina, but it's good. We're doing it. So before we get into what we're going to talk about, please plug, promote everything John Reap. Okay. Well, I also do a podcast with all things comedy right here. Countryish.com. It's audio.'s video we're on youtube we're on facebook we go
Starting point is 00:03:07 live every tuesday night i give money away yeah tell them about that yeah so i mean i get residual checks i've done some random acting gigs over the years some movies sitcoms i get them in the mail all the time and they're usually 11.47 you know what i? It's not a big deal. But people who, in the real world, they don't know this stuff. They think, you know, actors who get residual checks are loaded or something. So as a way of proving that this is kind of a bullshit thing, I put them on the table. I grab one. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it's for.
Starting point is 00:03:41 I open it, and I tell you what it is and how it's airing, and people call in with guesses, closest person. I will literally sign it over. I put their name on it. I say, pay to the order of, and I fucking put it in the mail. I love it. And so I've been burned a couple times, though. How? How do you get burned?
Starting point is 00:04:00 Well, I opened one. I did a show with Tig Notaro. Oh, because, wait, I'm sorry. I don't mean to interrupt, but you said you're doing this blind? Is that what you mean? Okay. So you have no idea yourself. I have no idea.
Starting point is 00:04:10 You haven't already opened it. I'm trusting it's $2. It's $5. I've legit got one from Comedy Central before, and I took a picture of it. I think it was for, honest to God, it cost more to mail it to me than what was worth it. It's a joke, right? So, I mean, not all of them. I mean, you get the one right after.
Starting point is 00:04:28 If it's a big movie, you do. It depends on how you get paid and all this crap. But mostly they're jokes. In fact, there's a bar in Studio City called Residuals. I know exactly. I've been there, and I took my first residual check there. Yeah. So if you don't know, you get a drink for whatever that – you could take a residual check-in.
Starting point is 00:04:47 So if you've got a two-cent check, you're getting a drink for two cents. And they used to put them on the wall. And the bragging rights was the cheapest one. But yeah, so I opened them on the show. And I got burned because I did a show with Tig Notaro called One Mississippi. It was on Amazon Prime. And it was great, but it wasn't like a big hit or anything. And I got paid okay on it.
Starting point is 00:05:09 And then I just forgot about it. It just went away. I just hadn't, you know. And I guess they just bought it in Germany or some foreign market. Like it was a big buyout. Yeah. And I was like, it was like $900 some dollars. So I had to give, you know, and I don't know if they can even cash them.
Starting point is 00:05:26 Like, I don't even do that part. I'm like, you got one week to contact me. And other than that, it's over. I love it. You said you lost $900 on that one. That's a good chunk of money. Another one I lost $1,000. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:38 My own producer was telling me like, dude, you want to cheat this and just open them first? Yeah, you could. I'm like, I could, but that kind of ruins the spontaneity. And I want people to know, there's a chance you're going to get a check for $900,000. $900,000? No, no. $900,000 or $1,000. Okay.
Starting point is 00:05:52 Yeah, I jumped my redneck jumble lies. I was going to say, I'm subscribing today, too. I subscribe right now. Yeah. Yeah. So we, country-ish, we give money away. I do a bit called Small Town News where we look for the weird crazy stories that happen in small towns.
Starting point is 00:06:08 I'll give you the headline of my favorite story from last year. And it's just a headline. A Louisiana woman bites a camel in the balls in order to save her deaf dog's life at a truck stop in Florida. At a truck stop! That's all that shit happens. Not a zoo!
Starting point is 00:06:23 At a truck stop.'re like what the so there in florida there was a truck stop of course that had like a little petting zoo and this lady stopped to get gas and i mean she was all messed up on pills too and her dog got away from her and it went behind the gate and the dog was deaf so she couldn't call it like come back over here this camel sat on the dog. And then this lady had to jump over the fence to save the dog, and it sat on her. I don't know. I didn't know camels sit on people.
Starting point is 00:06:56 And then just to get out of there, she had to bite it in the balls. And then you meet the lady. Like, there's a video of it. And it worked? It's great. It's one of my favorite small-town news stories we did last year. Dude, that's fucking great. So we have a good time.
Starting point is 00:07:08 I do it with my buddies in North Carolina. And we have, like, you know, comedians will Zoom in. We have a who's Zooming who kind of thing. And comedians will Zoom in. We've had a lot of them on. I want to get you on as well. ASAP. I will do it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:20 So country-ish, I'm doing. I'm still touring all the time. In fact, I think this weekend I'll be in D.C. at the Comedy Loft. You can go, if you go to countryish.com, tour dates, merch, all that crap's right there. All right. So that's what I've been working on mostly. Good for you. Yeah. So let's talk a little bit about it. So are you from North Carolina originally?
Starting point is 00:07:40 Born and raised Hickory, North Carolina. Hickory, okay. Yeah. It used to be the furniture capital of the world. Isn't Jordan? Is Jordan from Hickory? No. Jordan is from North Carolina, but he's from a town outside of Hickory. I can't remember.
Starting point is 00:07:53 I want to say he's closer to Wilmington. He's more coastal. But, yeah, that's a great one, Michael Jordan. I live in NASCAR country kind of. It used to be, like I said, furniture capital, home to Winston Cup champion, Dale Jarrett. And I want to say maybe the pig from Green Acres. I have not. People believe it. They go, oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:16 That sounds about right. Yeah, that's good. Get a plaque up. Wilbur? Yeah. I think it's Jean-Jacques Bourne. I think. So you recently, you were living here, you said, for what, 18, 19 years? Yeah, so I was out here 18 years. I was in Studio City. Did well, you know, did one last comic stand-in and toured around.
Starting point is 00:08:39 And I was on – Rodney Carrington had a sitcom. I've done some movies. So my career is always kind of like this. And then I moved back to North Carolina. Why did you move back? Well, it was a combination of things. I started really missing my family because a lot had happened without me. Like I would go home and visit for Christmas and then be hanging out with some friends and family.
Starting point is 00:09:00 And they would start talking about a story. And I had no idea. I wasn't involved. And I just felt like I was missing out. I had FOMO. And I'm thinking, too, like, well, my career, it's always kind of done this, and the technology is changing, the industry is changing. You could be anywhere and audition. When I got on Eastbound and Down on HBO, that was just me recording it at home.
Starting point is 00:09:25 I happened to be visiting my parents that weekend and got the audition, and I made my mom read with me. She was reading fucking Danny McBride lines. I love it. I fucking love it. And my mom, who's like the sweetest Southern Baptist lady, she never cusses. She stepped right up. She goes, I'll help you.
Starting point is 00:09:43 And I'm like, just read these lines, and then you're not going to be on camera. I just need i'll help you and i'll just read these these lines and then you know you're not gonna be on camera i just need to hear you and i'll do my part and it's like you know i told that goddamn motherfucker and i'm like mom so that was weird but uh but yeah so that's my thought was like why do i need to be here unless it's just a comedy store you know to hang out and do spots. And even then I was getting kind of lazy about that. Because as older I get, the more lazy I got. I go on the road for like three, four days. I come back, I got two or three days off and I'm just like, I'm just going to chill. I got a buddy named Kyle. We would hang out and some other friends.
Starting point is 00:10:19 But other than that, that was really it. And I thought, well, what I'll do is I'll fix my townhome up. I'll put it on the market and see what happens. And it was like. Was it? It was quick. An offer above what I was. And I'm like, okay, this is a sign. So I sold it.
Starting point is 00:10:38 I flew my dad out first class. And we went and got a big camper and uh and uh hooked it up to my car and we drove all my shit back from la to north carolina by the way i'm just i'm sitting here shaking my head so i'm just so jealous of that oh yeah yeah my father died when i was 16 so you're telling me like so you have a really great relationship with your dad yeah i had a great dad i still i mean he's had a stroke, but. That's what we're going to talk about. But he, so you flew him out first class.
Starting point is 00:11:10 I flew him out first class. And you got, what did you get to drive across? Well, I had a, what was it? The fifth wheel. You have a fifth wheel? No, we had, I had an SUV. It was a Mercury Mountaineer. Okay.
Starting point is 00:11:21 It was what I had. And then my dad went out. We were going to get a U-Haul, but you couldn't. There were no U-Hauls available because everyone was, this is on the cusp of everyone getting out of town. I mean, it's before COVID. It was before. But people were kind of just leaving. So it was impossible to rent a U-Haul. There was none available.
Starting point is 00:11:41 Like, we tried. And then he goes, well, we'll just buy one. You know, I'll look online. We'll buy a – it was like one of them baked potato-looking things. You know what I mean? It was just that. And we hooked it up to the Mountaineer, and we just – we made a bed in the back of the Mountaineer and put all our stuff in the trailer. That's smart.
Starting point is 00:12:00 So we took turns driving. Yeah. So first shift, he's driving, driving and we had to hang out and then if he got tired he'd get back and sleep great and we didn't get a hotel room we i mean that's supposed to be a three or four day trip yeah we did it in like i don't know 70 something hours we just stopped to get gas use the bathroom get some food and we're back on the road again so that was kind of precious pictures of have pictures of it? Yeah. Yeah. I can send you some pictures.
Starting point is 00:12:26 The bed looked pretty cool. I kind of Photoshopped my dad's face. You're right. When you say that, like I missed out on that. I was taking it for granted. There was one point. Listen, a lot of people whose fathers and parents are alive don't do that. No.
Starting point is 00:12:42 You know what I mean? What a great thing to do. Yeah. Yeah. Well, he's been wanting me to come home for a while anyway. Well, tell me about your dad. Let's talk about your dad growing up. Like, what sort of dad was he?
Starting point is 00:12:51 What kind of relationship did he have? He's a funny dude. He was the class clown in his group. He's the funny one. That's where I get it from him. So my dad, I would watch my dad make his friends laugh. What did he do? And there's power in that.
Starting point is 00:13:07 I don't know. I didn't even get it because it was above my head. I just remember like – No, I'm sorry. What did he do for a living? Oh, I thought you meant the bits. I don't remember what he said. He worked at a Goodyear for a while.
Starting point is 00:13:21 He was a manager of a Goodyear. And he was a deputy sheriff before that. And he got shot. He did? He almost died. How? What happened? When I was six or seven, this happened.
Starting point is 00:13:32 So he was a deputy sheriff. He was off duty, but he still had the scanner in his car. And he heard a call come in about a guy beating his wife or something. And when he heard the address, he knew, oh, I'm right here. I'm just going to stop in and see if she's okay. So he went to the door and the guy, they started fighting. He came at my dad and they're fighting and now this guy's running and they're chasing each other. And he had circled around and gotten behind the other guy behind a wood pile or something, and my dad kind of like flanked him.
Starting point is 00:14:11 And long story short, my dad had his gun, and he came up behind him and put it to his head. He said, it's over. Raise your hands. I got you. He didn't know he had a.22. So this dude pulls his.22 out and raises his hands like this and just goes pow, pow, pow. Oh, fuck. The point blank right here.
Starting point is 00:14:29 And one hit him in the stomach. One hit him in the hand. And then he backed up and unloaded on that guy. Killed that guy. Holy shit. Yeah. And now he still has a bullet in his spine because it's too close. We're talking Hickory 1976.
Starting point is 00:14:47 Okay. They ain't fucking with that. They're like, can you wiggle your toe? You're good. Sew him up. Don't worry about that numbness. That's going to be permanent. So he was lucky to survive that.
Starting point is 00:14:59 Holy shit. And he had a colostomy bag for a while. When they sewed him back up, they didn't do something right, and he had septic shock, and they had to go back in and get all the septic. Out of his blood. Yeah, he was, like, hurting himself. So, yeah, so that was when I was a kid. He was a deputy sheriff. How many siblings?
Starting point is 00:15:21 I got one younger brother. Okay. Yeah. And were your parents together at this time? Okay. They're still together? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And were your parents together at this time? They're still together? Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:28 They're still together. I remember waking up as a kid. It was a Saturday morning. It was April Fool's Day when it happened. And my dad's the funny guy. And of course, he would do that to my mom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Send another trooper with the wife saying, you need to come with us.
Starting point is 00:15:42 David's been shot on April Fool's. She was like, I don't believe it. It's April Fool's. I know what's up. And then the wife saying, you need to come with us. David's been shot on April Fool's. She was like, I don't believe it. It's April Fool's. I know what's up. And then the wife comes out and she's like, oh shit, this is real. And so I just remember waking up Saturday morning and there was a babysitter there. I'm like, who are you? I'm like, where's my mom? She's at the hospital. I was like, what happened to my mom? She said nothing. She's fine. I'm like, okay, I've just let it go for a minute. Wait, where my dad uh oh he got shot so i remember that conversation babysitters telling you yeah your dad got yeah because they're in the hospital trying to figure this i couldn't imagine having
Starting point is 00:16:13 to tell a seven-year-old that's my daughter's age right now like hey your dad got shot i couldn't imagine having to tell a little kid you know what's funny as a my kid or my kid what am i saying imagine it was just well you're so, you don't understand what's happening. Is your brother younger than you? Yeah, he's a year and a half younger. I'm saying I was seven or eight. I really, it's 77. So maybe, no, maybe it was, maybe I was younger than that.
Starting point is 00:16:36 Maybe I was like five or six. But yeah, I couldn't imagine. I want to find out who the babysitter is. I should ask my mom, who was that lady? Yeah. Because that would be an interesting conversation to have with her. Like, how did you deliver that news to two kids? Hey, listen, you're going to babysit my kids tonight.
Starting point is 00:16:52 Okay, what should we do tonight? Read books? Tell my son his dad's shot. We'll see you later. Put on Tom and Jerry and see how long it lasts before they turn around and go, who are you? Give them some Pop-Tarts. But, yeah, it was a crazy thing. And is that what made him get out of the force?
Starting point is 00:17:09 Yeah. So after that, mom said, no more of this. And he goes, I agree. And he had a job before that where he was working at a tire place as a salesman selling tires and that kind of shit. So he went back to that and became a manager of a Goodyear tire and auto part. And that was what he did most of his life. But he has a scar. This is the funny side of him.
Starting point is 00:17:32 We would go to a beach, and he would take his shirt off, and you would see the scars. Like the bullet wound. I would too. I don't know if I'd wear a shirt ever again. I don't care what my body looked like. I'd be like, you mean he's blown off? You mean me? too i would too i don't know if i'd wear a shirt ever again i don't care what my body yeah i'm like you mean he's blown off well what was weird about it was it was in the shape of what a perfect
Starting point is 00:17:52 six-pack would kind of look like no because it was like one cut here a cut here then another one here because he had to go back in so he had a built-in sort of a six-pack on top of his gut like this he looks just like me. And so he would take his shirt off and be like, what are you talking about? I'm ripped. He was like, I earned this six-pack. He was proud of it.
Starting point is 00:18:13 There's a bullet sitting in my spot. Right. He has a bullet in his spot. And he still has it in there. Yeah, still has it in there. And that gun that he used to kill the other guy. So later on in life, as I got older through the years, I would always revisit and ask questions. I want to ask you, have you ever asked him what it's like to take another man's life?
Starting point is 00:18:34 Yeah, he goes, I have. And how much he feared losing his. Yeah. He told me when he got shot, all of a sudden training popped in his head of be calm, don't freak out because you're going to pump the blood quicker and you're going to bleed out. Good point. So he said he remembers it was some Boy Scout training that he had. If you get bit by a snake, you're supposed to be real calm. Don't run, sprint down the hill.
Starting point is 00:19:00 Oh, yeah. Yeah. He said, I just laid there and I just waited. And I heard back. I already heard the other guys coming, and I knew at least they were going to get me to the hospital quick. But he was the worst pain ever. He's like swallowing a hot rock. He said it was horrible.
Starting point is 00:19:15 And then, of course. I'll bet, like, people don't think about the heat. That shit's coming out of that gun at that speed. Right. It's just burning the shit out of you, too. Yeah. Yeah. And.22ss that's the ones
Starting point is 00:19:26 that they used to you know for assassinations because the idea of a 22 is to bounce around and so that kind of happened and it just landed it's lucky where it landed i mean because it had moved and you hear this story all the time but you were two seconds or two centimeters over from death or perilous but yeah so he got lucky where it landed but so let's talk about this for a second so his guy's arms are up bang bang bang bang bang and then your dad what falls back and yeah what is he still standing would you take that he's still staggered back yeah that's what he told me he hit him and no vest he already had his gun in his hand oh yeah because he's off duty yeah no vest No vest. Right. He was wearing regular clothes.
Starting point is 00:20:06 Yeah. Which maybe is the reason why this guy didn't know he was a cop or something. I don't know. There's a lot of gray area there. But I remember he said when he got shot, he already had his gun, and it was an instinct just to shoot back. And he got him in the neck. And then these other guys that were at that point had come and surrounded him. They all shot him.
Starting point is 00:20:29 Later in life, would so they both didn't lay there alive like one's dying the other one might be dying they killed that dude yeah asap right then and there you shoot a cop i mean and so i remember like he had polaroids of this dude like this is what he looked like after we shot him yeah he showed him to you yeah Yeah. He showed him to you? Yeah. How old were you? Probably 10. He's like, hey, when I tell you not to do something, check out these pictures. I'm like. You're going to be home by midnight tonight, right? Yeah, you got it. I'm going to be home by midnight tonight right just don't be on the same side i'm gonna get here early yeah every morning and every night i journal
Starting point is 00:21:15 i don't know if you guys do that but i do i do a positivity journal every morning every night and i promise you it has saved my life it's changed way I think, and it's an integral part of my day. All right? And the new year is here, and there is no better way to kick off 2022 than by making sure you're feeling your best self. One stick of liquid IV and 16 ounces of water hydrates faster and more efficiently than water alone, and it comes in incredible hydration flavors like watermelon, lemon, lime, strawberry, pina colada, and more. I take my favorite is the orange one. It's got vitamin C. It's got everything I like, the flavor, all of it. I can actually taste that one. And I'm going to tell you right now, my daughter just went through another, we
Starting point is 00:21:58 all just went through another round of COVID and I'm taking them every day and have been since they've been giving them to me. I take one a day every single day. I don't have my dehydration headaches anymore. I don't have any of that stuff. All right? They are healthier than sugary sports drinks. There's no artificial flavors or preservatives. And there's less sugar than an apple.
Starting point is 00:22:15 It's made with clean ingredients. It's non-GMO. It's vegan and free of gluten, dairy, and soy. Liquid IV is on a mission to change the world and has donated over 19 million servings globally. Grab your Liquid IV in bulk nationwide at Costco, or you can get 25% off when you go to liquidiv.com and use code HONEYDOO at checkout. That's 25% off of anything you order when you get better hydration today using promo code HONEYDOO at liquidiv.com. A lot of people didn't even make resolutions this year, and you know what? I get it. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't still find a way to shake things up, whether
Starting point is 00:22:49 it's by switching up your workout routine or going someplace new. Whatever way you challenge yourself this new year, there's no better way to do it than with a pair of Raycon wireless earbuds in your ears. Raycon wireless earbuds are the best way to bring audio with you because no matter how much you shake things up, literally no matter how much you shake, you know they won't fall out of your ears. Their everyday earbuds look, feel, and sound better than ever. There's also awareness mode for when you need to listen to your surroundings so you can take Raycons with you wherever you go. With optimized gel tips for the perfect in-ear fit, these earbuds are so comfortable and they will not budge. Trust me.
Starting point is 00:23:26 I wear them all the time. I wear them working out. I take them on tour with me traveling. They never fall out. I can adjust them so I can hear people talking to me. It doesn't shut out the surroundings. I'm not hearing my or miss my daughter yelling for me if I'm wearing them in the house. Raycons offers eight hours of playtime and a 32 hour battery life and they're priced just
Starting point is 00:23:45 right. You get quality audio at half the price of other premium audio brands. It's no wonder Raycons everyday earbuds have over 48,000 5 star reviews. Right now Honeydew listeners can get 15% off their Raycon order at buyraycon.com
Starting point is 00:24:01 slash honeydew. That's buyraycon.com slash honeydew to save 15% on Raycons. Buyraycon.com slash honeydew. That's buyraycon.com slash honeydew to save 15% on Raycons. buyraycon.com slash honeydew. Now, let's get back to the dude. So he took Polaroids and he kept them up. Yeah. He had them in a shoebox and every couple
Starting point is 00:24:17 of years I'd ask him questions and he'd pull out different things. So that gun that he used, he gave it to me. I now have that gun. It was a revolver. It's a badass looking. You have the gun that took a man's life. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:29 And one- In self-defense. In self-defense. But also, he also shot the bed one time with that same gun. Yeah. So it's got one and a half kills. All right. All right.
Starting point is 00:24:39 Hey. He was trying to show me gun safety and was like- No. And it went off? I don't – my dad's crazy. He's like, all right, what I do, my routine, is I make sure the safety's on. Okay? So I put it on, and then I'll point it at the bed, and I'll just pull the trigger to make sure it works. And as he did that, he already had it on.
Starting point is 00:25:06 And when he was trying to demonstrate to me, he had turned it off. Yeah, yeah. And then he pulled it and it just hit the bed. I mean, you couldn't hear shit. If I shot a gun in here right now, we wouldn't be able to hear each other for like 10 seconds, maybe longer. It's so fucking loud. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:21 And so, but yeah, so he killed the bed and killed a guy with it. God. Have you ever talked to him about what it was really like to because i mean immediately he's going to the guys are coming not like i just killed the guys if ever fuck well he was just trying to stay like he would at that moment he didn't yeah he was pissed that guy tried to kill me yeah so he hated that guy oh god this so later in life um i forgot, but I think maybe him and my mom had just come back from a class reunion. So they were a little bit tipsy or something, and mom was driving. I don't even remember why I was in the car, but I remember him telling my mom, go up here and take a lift.
Starting point is 00:25:59 And she's like, David, I'm not doing that. And he's like, go take a lift now. And I didn't know what was happening. Apparently, this has happened before me. Yeah, I can say by the way you said your mom. I'm like, what's happening? And so they went to that dude's grave. Oh, his grave.
Starting point is 00:26:18 I thought you were going to say he took it to the spot where it went down. No, he went to the dude's grave, and my dad peed on it. He hates this guy. So when I tell you... Behold, Bob's will! Took a piss. Fuck yeah. And I'm like... So when I try to say, what did it feel like? Do you ever feel remorseful?
Starting point is 00:26:43 I don't think that it's in there. I think it's like, this motherfucker tried to kill me. That's a definitive answer right there. Now, there's probably more that I don't know that he probably has tried to process over the years. I'm sure he went to therapy. But I remember that. I got to say, that's probably really good therapy to be honest. Dude, 100%.
Starting point is 00:27:05 There's no relief a therapist can give you like that right there. That shit happened. I saw you go, I forgot about this. It just hit me. I was trying to think of how did he get through this? And then as soon as I said, oh yeah, he fucking peed on that dude's grave. Yeah. It just hit me. Like, I was trying to think of, like, how did he get through this? And then as soon as I said, like, oh, yeah, he fucking peed on that dude's grave. Man. But, yeah, that was.
Starting point is 00:27:32 But he really kind of, as I grew up, he just shifted away from that life. Like, he went really deep into being a great dad, a great husband. I mean, I'm sure that gave him a new perspective on life. Oh, yeah. I'm sure. In fact, I think, and I don't know 100% because my parents don't tell me everything about them. They keep some of it for them. I'm learning things as I go because I just moved in with my mom like three years ago.
Starting point is 00:28:01 My mom's my roommate now. I was gone for 18 years. That's who i sit down next to in a recliner and watch tv with so i'm learning new stuff you know but um so for ever since that shooting my dad when he would get a valentine's day card or a christmas card he didn't sign it david or your husband he signed it newman And I didn't know, like, what was it? What does he like? Alfred E. Newman.
Starting point is 00:28:27 I mean, he kind of did. He was like, but I realized he's saying new man. I'm a new man. Like they went through something. And then that him getting shot changed him. He autographs that thing. Yeah. Newman.
Starting point is 00:28:40 So I'm like, oh, that's pretty cool. But I don't know what it was they went through before that. There's probably some shaky times in the marriage. Oh, I mean, how long they've been together? Oh, my God. I mean, over 50 years. How could there not be shaky times? Life's thrown whatever it wants at you.
Starting point is 00:28:58 Yeah. Has he ever taken you to the spot where it went down? He may have. I don't remember a lot about that you're taking a shit he's like i'm gonna think yeah right here you gotta go all right can you hold it for 10 minutes get out john get out of here oh yeah right oh man man but he's like he was a funny one like i didn't that was that happened so young in my life that I didn't see him as a real badass cop.
Starting point is 00:29:31 I just saw him as a goofy dad. Sure. Because he made a 180 turn. He's, I'm going to be that now. Well, also, statistically, they say that most police officers never even fire their gun. And here he is with a moment of his life or death, you know. Yeah. And only being in the force not that many years.
Starting point is 00:29:48 So, yeah, I get it. Fuck that. Yeah. So he was done. But, I mean, he would check in every now and then, just recertified so he could have his gun legally and all this stuff. But he was a funny dude. And so as a kid, I remember, like, they'd have parties over at the house,
Starting point is 00:30:04 and my dad's friends would be all around, and I could tell when something happened, everyone would look at my dad like, what's David going to say? Because they looked up to him. I was like, oh, that's kind of like power. There's power in that. And so to me, all I tried to do was make my dad laugh. I felt like if I can make my dad laugh, then I'm a funny dude because everyone thinks he's the funny one. So that's kind of where it came from. He was a practical joker. But, yeah, that's kind of where it started, the comedy, love for comedy for me because I grew up watching cartoons. My dad got me into like Saturday Night Live.
Starting point is 00:30:48 Yeah. Like he was a little big Chevy Chase, Steve Martin fan. And I remember like not many people made my dad laugh. And when watching him laugh at, well, it sounds weird now, Bill Cosby. Bill Cosby himself, that one special is probably one of the funniest things ever because it was clean and it was just great stories. And the whole family could watch it together. I was about to say, it's all family friendly.
Starting point is 00:31:12 And I remember him just hee-hawing at this and me thinking, that's what I want to do one day. I don't know how I'm going to do this or what's going to happen, but it would be nice if I could make my dad laugh like Bill Cosby did, you know, that I'm a funny guy. Yeah. And that's what set it off for you. Yeah. Yeah. Just trying to make him laugh because he was the funny one. And my brother was not funny.
Starting point is 00:31:36 My mom, he's funny in a different way. at a party and i was i jumped on a table and was drinking vodka and put my pulled my pants down and did something stupid he would walk over with a lampshade and go put this on your head he just throws fuel on the fire and walks away and watches it burn. I like to accentuate the moment. Yeah. So, excuse me, you mentioned your dad had a stroke. Did you move back because he had a stroke or when you moved back? It happened later. Yeah. So you moved back because I kind of missed. The stroke and the pandemic.
Starting point is 00:32:21 Correct. Wow. Stroke first, pandemic second. So it was thanksgiving day and we were uh we had the family over and we were waiting for one more uh couple to come over or whatever and we hadn't eaten it but the the room smelled of like turkey we got a bojangles turkey that year i remember this the first time we got a bojangles turkey which is delicious you know deep fried turkey no bojangles
Starting point is 00:32:45 ever no in a minute since i've been in the south south yeah they get a good spicy rub which is great but we uh i remember him he was sitting on the hearth next to the fireplace and he was just kind of listening to everybody else tell their stories and he was just kind of having a moment and i just remember him just, he just fell over. He just hit his head really hard on the floor. And my first thought always is he's joking. And I started laughing. I was like, hi, good one.
Starting point is 00:33:15 I thought maybe he was making a joke about like, I got low blood sugar. I hadn't eaten yet. When are we going to eat? And so he just hit the floor and I kind of laughed. And then Jason's's like no that's he he hit really hard like he was a big old gash on his head he's like he hit too hard for that to be a joke he doesn't have that commitment to laugh that much and i'm like oh shit then you see the hand come up and then and then it's on and we don't know what's happening thanksgiving you're
Starting point is 00:33:45 dialing 9-1-1 i i called 9-1-1 i had a i had just had shoulder surgery so i couldn't do anything physically to help all i could do is my brother and my buddy mark were over there trying to straighten him out trying to figure out what's happening and i'm just i go straight to 9-1-1 mom's crying at the house yeah It was probably six, seven. We were waiting for other people to get there. And they came pretty quick. Listen, I got to ask you a question. Did the paramedics beat that couple?
Starting point is 00:34:15 What do you mean? Did the paramedics get to your house before that final couple did? Yeah. Shame on that couple. I know. I know. Shame on that couple. They had to I know. Shame on that guy. They had to come to the hospital.
Starting point is 00:34:27 They went to the house. It was like, what's going on here? Where the fuck is everybody? Put another hospital. Oh, man. You're late. We went to the hospital. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:42 I'm trying to think of who it actually was that was late because it's so much of a blur. But, yeah, we went to the hospital. Well, what happened to him was he had kidney stones a week or two before this. And they did a – I forgot what it's called. Something where they do – They blast them. Yeah. Radar or whatever.
Starting point is 00:35:03 Sound waves or something. I don't know. And so – and he had – he just – he had cholesterol. And I think one of the – something, a blood clot was lodged because there's a lot of internal bleeding, and it caused the stroke. I think we even have a lawsuit on our hands because at the hospital we took him to, they couldn't do a certain procedure because they thought he would bleed out. Something to thin the blood. We couldn't do that because he just had this procedure. The second hospital we went to later – So they had to leave that hospital?
Starting point is 00:35:40 Yeah. How long was he there? It was Thanksgiving Day. There was no one – it was no doctor. They were – so they were like scrambling. And the other hospital, which is a better hospital, which is an hour and a half from our house, said, oh, no, the brain always trumps anything else. So if there's something wrong with the brain, you risk it and you fix the brain. And knowing that now, we would have done something different.
Starting point is 00:36:05 But he's paralyzed on his left side. He's in a skilled nursing facility. How old is he now? 77. And is that permanent, the paralyzation? Yeah. Yeah. And he's in a nursing center?
Starting point is 00:36:18 Yeah. Well, we took him to different rehab places. We took him to, I mean, different hospitals because he got COVID one time and had to be rushed from the skilled nursing facility to a hospital. He survived that. I mean, this guy's been shot. He's got a stroke.
Starting point is 00:36:36 He had COVID during the stroke. He's got titanium knees. Can't kill this man. A bullet in his fucking spine. He won't die. But is he there mentally still and everything is sometimes sometimes yeah well he's also medicated and i know he enjoys because when he got shot the first time there was a moment where like we got to get him off fucking meth or whatever it was not meth not meth
Starting point is 00:37:01 not meth what is it called? Oxys and the painkillers and all that. There's a different one back then, but they had to get him off that. That was the whole thing. So now he's back. He knows that feels good, and they'll give it to you if you feel bad. So I think when I go in there to visit him, it's hit or miss. It's like, is he going to be all there? Or is he just, he'll see shit.
Starting point is 00:37:28 He'll hallucinate. He gets UTI. You're going to attract infections all the time. What's that like for you to see him like that? Horrible. Because he's a strong dude. And he lost all of his teeth during COVID. During COVID, they were short-staffed.
Starting point is 00:37:47 We couldn't go visit. My mom wasn't allowed to go there. It's up to her. She's going every day. She's made that her new thing in life is like, I'm just going to go visit him and make sure they're doing what they say they're supposed to do or whatever. She'll go. But then COVID, they couldn't get in there. And then they're short-staffed.
Starting point is 00:38:07 And then they ignore his teeth. They'll come in there and do the bare minimum, give him food and do a thing, give him a medicine and pop out. So all of his teeth, all of them rotted and they had to be pulled. So now he has no teeth. He is paralyzed on one side. He's withered down to nothing. He's like 100-some pounds pounds he's supposed to be 220 and uh yeah it is it sucks seeing him like that but i think because he wants everything to be cool with us he doesn't make it sound as bad as it is he'll do some light joking here and
Starting point is 00:38:39 there we'll watch tv together there's a nice little recliner in there i'll go in there and just camp out with him sometimes and we'll watch TV together. But I think we're both trying to help each other through this. I don't know what the end is going to be. I don't think he's going to get out of there because he's not motivated. He doesn't want to get up and exercise. He's kind of a lazy guy, you know, just naturally. Like me, I love love the recliner i go home and get in the recliner that's what he does and so i think there's part of him it's like well i'm 77 it's not like i'm gonna run a triathlon i'm gonna i'm gonna it's gonna be here you know so it sucks now you're a dad right yes yeah i have a son tucker's 23 tell me me about that. You were, what, in your 20s?
Starting point is 00:39:25 Yeah, in my 20s. I was with a girl. Married? Nope. Nope. This was sort of a whoopsie-daisy, as they say. And I love him. Tucker's the best.
Starting point is 00:39:42 He is more manly than me. I think the manliness skipped a generation It went from my dad to my son It just leaped right over you Yeah, it left me Like I got the sort of funniness from him But not like the blue collar stuff as much Because Tucker is
Starting point is 00:39:58 He made straight A's in high school He wrestled He played football He hunts He fishes He goes Like he's a welder like he's a traveling welder got his own camper and will drive to certain jobs and just stay there until something's finished he's doing good he makes a lot of money is he in north carolina as
Starting point is 00:40:17 well he's in north carolina he just got engaged to his girlfriend yeah so he's doing well but in the beginning it was it was kind of rocky because i was in i was living in raleigh so i left hickory in 1992 yeah 92 to go to school at nc state which is in raleigh that's about three hours so when i went to school in raleigh i would just come home to visit here and here and there you know what i mean? And I met a girl in Hickory. We hooked it up. She got pregnant. And it's like, what are we going to do?
Starting point is 00:40:50 I didn't know what to do. She wasn't sure what we're going to do. But we went through it. And it was a little rocky because we didn't see eye to eye on everything. But over time, it's like, well, this is what it is. And I just tried to be the best I could from where I was because then I had moved to Los Angeles. And so I would just fly back just to see him and the family from time to time.
Starting point is 00:41:17 So I wasn't an everyday dad. And that sucks. Why? Because that's not the kind of dad I wanted to be. I wanted to be like my dad. Yeah. And now, which kind of made me mad. I felt like I was forced in this position because I already – the comedy career was on the rise.
Starting point is 00:41:32 There was, you know, festivals I was invited to, like Montreal. It was like, you know, I was a new face. I felt like I can't just not do this. So I was like, you're making me a bad dad. And I hated it. You hated comedy for that? Yeah, I hated comedy for that. And I kind of was mad at the mother for that.
Starting point is 00:41:53 Oh, I see. In a weird way. But I got over that. And now it's great. Everything's good now. You have a good relationship with her? Friendly with her? Yeah, we're fine.
Starting point is 00:42:04 That's another reason why I wanted to go. Friendly with her. Yeah. Yeah. We're fine. That's another reason why I wanted to go home, though, was to sort of like fix that. Make sure that this is good. Dad, mom, my brother, all my friends. So it was a combination of all those things of why I went home. Then the stroke, then the pandemic. But yeah. Yeah. He's great.
Starting point is 00:42:24 I flew him out here right before I left. But yeah, yeah. He's great. I flew him out here right before I left. Tucker. First class? Did I find first class? Only dad gets first class. I think maybe. Did you?
Starting point is 00:42:32 I don't remember. I'll have to ask him that. That's a good question. I don't think I did. I think that's reserved for old, I call my dad popsicle. Hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:39 Listen, if you're in your 20s, man, get the fuck back and coach with everybody else. You're in your 20s. Yeah. You know? Yeah. He wasn't 21 yet, so he couldn back and coach what everybody else. You're in your 20s. Yeah. He wasn't 21 yet, so he couldn't even drink anyway in first class. Yeah, it's wasted. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:50 It's just a little extra fucking room. Exactly. A lot of poor man's first class back there now, though, with that middle seat available. Yes. I don't mind flying back there these days if that middle seat's available. I'm like, all right, man. We got a little fucking room, baby. That's all I need.
Starting point is 00:43:02 That's all I need. Yeah. We got a little fucking room, baby. That's all I need. I've flown so much that I just got all these points. I get bumped into first for free a lot of times. I try to fly on a day where it's,
Starting point is 00:43:15 if I can, like a Thursday or a Tuesday because there's less people out there. I brought him out to LA and showed him my condo before we left and we had a good moment and I took him all the spot took him to the Comedy Store you did yeah that's cool yeah did he see my name yeah yeah yeah yeah he sent me before him before that but yeah and he's funny kid too um you got to see your name on the wall yeah yeah take him back to a little green
Starting point is 00:43:41 room area that was just for comics yeah he got to experience all that before I left. But yeah, that's one of the big reasons I moved back home. Not just dad, not just mom or brother, but Tucker. To be a dad. Yeah. More of a dad. To be more of a dad, be in his life, let him know, look, my career's at a moment where I don't have to be in L.A. anymore. We were saying before this, I mean, COVID made it even easier in a weird way.
Starting point is 00:44:13 But before that, even, I got eastbound and down on a tape. And so I'm like, what am I doing? Look what I've already missed. I'm not going to miss anymore. And so. Good for you. That helped. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:26 Today's program is brought to you by Athletic Greens, the health and wellness company that makes comprehensive daily nutrition really, really simple. With so many stressors in life, it's difficult to maintain effective nutritional habits and give our bodies the nutrients it needs to thrive. Busy schedules, poor sleep, exercise, the environment, work stress, or simply not eating enough of the right foods can leave us deficient in key nutritional areas. One tasty scoop of AG1 contains 75 vitamins, minerals, and whole food sourced ingredients, including a multivitamin, multimineral, probiotic, green superfood blend, and more in one convenient daily
Starting point is 00:45:04 serving. The special blend of high quality bioavailable ingredients and a scoop of AG1 work together to fill the nutritional gaps in your diet, support energy and focus, aid with gut health and digestion, and support a healthy immune system, effectively replacing multiple products or pills with one healthy, delicious drink. Join the movement of athletes, moms, dads, rookies, first-timers, and everyone in between taking ownership of their daily health and focusing on the nutritional products they really need in the simplest manner possible. To make it easy, Athletic Greens is going to give you an immune-supporting, free, one-year supply of vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase if you visit athleticgreens.com slash honeydew today.
Starting point is 00:45:47 Again, simply visit athleticgreens.com slash honeydew to take control of your health and give AG1 a try. Cheers to 2022 and resolutions you can actually keep. How about having clean and shiny balls all year round? Well, our sponsors at Manscaped are here to save your balls this year and make the ball drop into 2022 the cleanest and sexiest ever. Set your first New Year's resolution with good intentions and join the 4 million men worldwide who trust Manscaped.
Starting point is 00:46:18 With our exclusive offer, go to manscaped.com and use the code HONEYDOO for 20% off plus free shipping. Inside the performance package 4.0, you'll find the Signature Lawn Mower 4.0. This electric trimmer is designed to trim hair on loose skin. The advanced skin-safe technology reduces cuts and nicks on your delicate nuts. It also comes equipped with a 4000K LED spotlight that will shine a light to the promised land 2022 looks to be. A grooming routine is not complete without applying Crop Preserver and Crop Reviver before showing off your 2022 self.
Starting point is 00:46:53 These unique formulations take care of the smelliest part of your body and are a big boost to your confidence into the new year. To complete the set, Manscaped threw in their Shed Travel Bag and Anti-Chafing Boxer Briefs as free gifts to keep all your goodies stored comfortably. Whether your resolution is to work out more or travel to new places, be sure to travel to manscaped.com for our exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping with the code HONEYDOO. Get 20% off and free shipping with the code HONEYDOO at manscaped.com.
Starting point is 00:47:23 That's 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com that's 20 off with free shipping at manscaped.com and use code honeydew it's new year no pubes in 2022 with manscaped now let's get back to the do i mean talk to me about just also the the hindsight that you have with time you know your dad the time you guys have had i mean he's 23 already yeah right you know how fast that shit goes yeah so what are you doing right now to to maximize time with him do you get to see him a lot yeah you do yeah well definitely holidays um how close do you live well he lives in charlotte now but that's only about 45 minutes away. Oh, okay. Yeah. It's as much as we can do because his job now makes him travel a lot. So he lives with his girlfriend, fiancee, in Charlotte.
Starting point is 00:48:12 She's going to school for like her master's degree. And so he bases himself there, but then also drives his camper to where he needs to, wherever he's got to work. And that could be Pennsylvania, Florida. But I took him on a cruise. I've been doing a cruise. So every year, the COVID kind of threw this, messed this up. I make sure that my mom, I'm engaged now.
Starting point is 00:48:36 My fiance and my brother and my son and his girl can all go on this cruise together. And so we do, we do that at least. And of course the holidays and just as much as it can just hanging out. So it's, it's, it's really just up to him at this point, you know, how much we can do it, but I want to go hunting and fishing with him. You do. I want him to teach me that lifestyle because i didn't even though my dad had guns and all this stuff i only went fishing maybe one time i've never been hunting i just picture your
Starting point is 00:49:11 dad shooting a deer and then walking over pissing on it like is this how you hunt listen this is how i kill this is how i kill one shot walks over pisses, and like, we'll come back later. Don't worry, we'll come back. That's great. Yeah. What is it that you hope to at least get out of the relationship you have with your dad, the time remaining? Because you just said you don't know if he's going to get out of it. Yeah, I doubt it.
Starting point is 00:49:42 So what do you hope to get out of that? Honest moments. I like visiting when it's just me because he's a different – if it's just me, like we have a thing because I'm like my dad and my brother's kind of like my mom. And so we get each other. My dad and I get each other. Even though he gets on my nerves and I get on his nerves,
Starting point is 00:50:03 we have the same wavelength. So I like to go visit him by myself, not when my mom's in the room because when she's in there, it's like there's a nurse and she's making him eat and he's like, I don't want to. When I'm there, it's just straight up honest conversations. I like to try and get real conversations out of him or
Starting point is 00:50:19 random stuff. I just asked him other days like, Dad, you still get boners? Just out asked him other days, like, Dad, you still get boners? You know, just out of nowhere. And he's like, hey, you know, I woke up with one. I woke up with one. I got my good hand here. So it's hard to watch porn and then put the thing down and grab it like this.
Starting point is 00:50:41 So we just talked about him trying to jerk off. You so you still gotta live yeah yeah and so oh i gotta tell you this one i feel kind of bad about it but not really it's great so and i don't know if he was fucking with me or if this was a real thing that went through his brain okay so my dad had a catheter in his penis. Oh, it just makes me. Yeah. Every time. I'm like right there.
Starting point is 00:51:08 Kill me. Yeah. For real. I don't want whatever that is. Take me out. Take me out. I don't want anything going in that hole, dude. My legs.
Starting point is 00:51:18 I'm squeezing over here now, man. Just thinking about it sucks. So he had to do that a couple times. Anyway, I'm sitting there next to him, and this lady comes in, and she's taking his diaper off, and she's got the catheter. She's going to change the catheter. And I'm just sitting there like, I don't want to see this. I'm just kind of turning my head.
Starting point is 00:51:37 I pretend to do something on my phone. And then I look over, and I see this nurse. Now, his dick is out, and it's just splayed out there. And it's a good looking nurse. She had bright red lipstick. And I just looked at him looking at her lips. He's staring at her lips as his penis is out and she's doing stuff. And he just goes, I think you better take the lipstick off first.
Starting point is 00:52:12 And she didn't know what he meant. I'm like, dad, she's not going to blow you? But I think he thought, like, it's trying to crack me up, I think. But what kills me about that statement is how deep it is. It's like, I think you're about to give me a blowjob, and I don't want this to get caught. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:33 Because I'm still married. So please remove the lipstick. Forget the idea that my kid's right here. Right, sitting right over here. Whose mom is the same lady I'm worried about. That's insane. So he still got it. Yeah, I was going to say, he definitely still has it.
Starting point is 00:52:49 He still got it. Yeah. So I think we just make his life as comfortable as possible. Just go in there. Have you thought about sending him a fucking little masseuse? I have. Have you? I've thought about it, but then there's my mom.
Starting point is 00:53:03 Yeah, then you break your mom's heart. I couldn't do it to her. Because she still gets mad at him when he flirts with nurses. If your mom wasn't around, would you? 100%. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:13 Yeah. That'd be nice. Yeah. What a gift from your kid. Bring some girl in there and just let him touch a titty or something. You know what I mean? He can't do anything.
Starting point is 00:53:22 We're positive sex work here, all right? Yeah. Put your titties in his face and just bat his fucking dick around like a cat, you know, and then get out. That ain't going to do nothing. Oh, my God. I mean, yes, I would. Is there anything you two have talked about that really stands out?
Starting point is 00:53:41 In this, while he's been paralyzed? uh in this while he's been paralyzed well he see sometimes he has these thoughts of like he is getting out of here i think when he's heavily medicated he he doesn't maybe he can't feel that he's not you know the pain yeah so sometimes he'll get talking like all right when i get out of here we're going to do this we're going to do this what are the things you want to do he wants to get a certain car, like an old Buick. And he wants to fix it up. And he wants to do the driving closer. Like what, a Skylark?
Starting point is 00:54:12 Like what does he want? I forgot what. Because I'll hear these things and I'll just say, yeah, of course. Of course. I don't say like, well, daddy, you can't move. I don't piss on his little dream. Yeah, you can't do that. So, and I forgot.
Starting point is 00:54:23 So, I don't always remember exactly what car it is, but it's like a big hooptie looking old school 60s five Buick something.
Starting point is 00:54:32 And he wants to fix it up and drive across the country and he wants to stop at all the different rest stops and there are historical landmarks and he wants to do, you know,
Starting point is 00:54:40 he wants to get a camper. Like he has these big dreams that he wants to do. You talking about that truck stop in Florida? Yeah. I know we can get some good camel balls there. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:54 I mean, it's mostly just- Well, it's nice, though, that you then had that cross-country trip together. A hundred percent. So when you said that, I was like, that's true. I didn't know i promise that that was going to be a moment in time you're going to remember that the rest of your life because we didn't think that we were going to go drive the whole thing we're like we just kept pushing each other like well i can go a little bit longer and uh but even in true david reap style
Starting point is 00:55:22 i did have a moment where i'm like, this is real special. I'm sitting here with my dad, and we are driving across the country with all my stuff. I'm leaving California. It was a big moment. And I was like, turn the radio down just to talk to him. And I was like, he goes, I don't want to talk right now. I was trying to have a moment he was just like i'm focused on the road i'm just trying to stay awake and he's chewing eyes like
Starting point is 00:55:50 he totally shot me down that's the extra i'm good like oh okay i thought we'd have a moment um but but looking back at it mostly it was it was it was good you. But yeah, I wish I had done more stuff like that. Same. I wish I knew. I had this moment. This was a couple years ago. So it's a long story short. My father had this boat we used to crab and fish on.
Starting point is 00:56:18 And then when he passed, one of his good friends, this Maryland state trooper named Mr. Bud came and bought that boat for me and my brothers and gave us each a few bucks and then said, as he lived out in the county and he had a little barn and everything, and he said, I'm going to keep this boat. And if you ever want it back, you let me know. And I'm telling you, fast forward 25 years later, my brother's fishing, finds this little piece of trash on the ground that he picks up just to clean it up flips it over and it's got this name bud kellerman on it and um it's a map for hot spots at the lake okay so he reaches out to my mother who gives him mr bud's number and he calls him he says hey this is uh derrick sickler you know lefty's kid and uh you know what are you up to
Starting point is 00:57:04 he's like i'm retired now out of the force, making maps for hotspots. He's like, well, that's how I found you. And I was just curious. Do you still have my dad's old boat? And he's like, some what I tell you. And he's like, you said you'd keep it. And he's like, I got it for you. So he came out and gave it to my brother.
Starting point is 00:57:21 And I mean, kept it. And my brother's like, I got to give you something for it. And he's like, I'll tell you what. Give me what I paid you for it. It was like $1,000. Wow. And he stored it and kept it for decades. So it wasn't on the water.
Starting point is 00:57:32 It was just somewhere nice. Kept. Yeah. My brother gets the boat back, and now we have our dad's boat that we were children in, fishing and crabbing and stuff in. That's amazing. So he's got the boat at his place and then he gets a new one uh he buys my uncle who passed away had a really nice boat and he bought was a great one that he used twice before he got sick okay and it's sack garaged and my brother's like you know
Starting point is 00:57:58 what fucking i'm gonna take that boat my younger brother's now gonna get my dad's boat. Oh. So I'm with my brother and his two kids and me and my daughter, and we're towing my dad's boat that we were children in up to my brother's. Okay. And it's the closest. I'm like you. My brother is basically your dad chewing ice like, well, whatever. But I'm like, man, this is the closest that we'll ever take with a ride with our kids and our dad. You know, this dead motherfucker's boat being back here.
Starting point is 00:58:32 Right. And it just got me. It's a moment. It got me. Yeah. It got me. And I'm just telling my brother, you get it. Like our kids are in the backseat.
Starting point is 00:58:39 We used to be in the kids in the backseat. And that's our dad's boat that we were on with that. Like it gets me. And now my brother redid it and he's got it out on the water with his kids. So it's all fucking great. That's why I'm saying like, as soon as you said that, I was like, Oh, what I would do for a two day trip with my dad across the country. And there's moments you don't see him coming.
Starting point is 00:59:01 Sometimes it's just, it's a thing. It happens. You're like, you just wait. I talk about all it's a thing. It happens. You're like. You just wait. I talk about it all the time, man. You're in the grocery store. I'm opening up the frozen pizza. It's just like. You hear a song.
Starting point is 00:59:13 Oh, man, not right now. Yeah. I wasn't ready. There was a moment where we were at the second hospital, and he was out. We didn't know if he was going to wake up because he was kind of like in a coma for a minute. A stroke just knocked him out. He was not awake.
Starting point is 00:59:32 We're sitting in this room, and I'm thinking, is this it? I'm starting to prepare eulogies. I'm like, I don't know what's going on. Then I hear behind me. That used to get on my nerves. Like he was the loudest snorer on the face of the planet. The one that would wake himself up. And he did it in church and then got caught.
Starting point is 00:59:54 But yeah, don't look at me. Like it was annoying and I made fun of him. I had a whole bit about it. And then when I heard that first, it was the happiest snore. I'm like, he's alive. Isn't it crazy that the shit you hate now made you feel so good? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:09 Yeah. All right. Here's what I want to do. I want to switch gears a little bit. We've been, I want to hear some stuff that's a little bit more lighter. Okay. Let's hear about this high school football season. All right.
Starting point is 01:00:21 So the only sport I was decent at was football. I played, you know, little league, pop one or whatever. And like in my seventh or sixth grade year, I got a little bit bigger before the other kids. So I was a middle linebacker, and I was destroying fools. Like I got more. A little Urlacher out there. Huh?
Starting point is 01:00:44 A little Urlacher out yes yeah i had more tackles there was this coach told me this statistic later i had more tackles than the rest of the team combined like i was a freaking headhunter man i just destroyed people um so to me as a seventh grade john reap i was going to be in the n, you know? And so middle school, not great. I think we lost almost every game in middle school too. They get to high school, new coach comes in and I got hurt. I mean, our team sucked. We were the redneck school, you know? We were mostly a basketball school, like Hoosiers, Indiana kind of thing, We had a lot of rednecks, and then some of them could play basketball. The ones who played basketball did not play football because the coach was like,
Starting point is 01:01:32 don't play football, you're going to get hurt. We didn't have good athletes. I was maybe one of three on the team that were decent at all at football. But then I stopped growing. I had no business being a middle linebacker. Look at me. But then I stopped growing. I had no business being a middle linebacker. I mean, look at me. So I was getting destroyed. In my brain, I was still a badass, but these guys grew, and I was getting run over.
Starting point is 01:01:52 But we lost every game that we played. And it got to the point, that last game against High Brighton, they also 0-9. No, it's a battle of 0-9? Nah. It was horrible.. No, it's a battle of 0-9? Nah. It was horrible. I mean, it was cold. The parents that were there were just in blankets like, let's just go home.
Starting point is 01:02:15 No one's good. It's cold, it's high out there. And then that game, too, I remember making a lot of tackles. At this point, I had moved back to cornerback, and I had no business doing that either. But our defense of line and our linebackers were not making the tackles, so I had to run up and do all this stuff. And I was getting sore.
Starting point is 01:02:37 But anyway, this is like a last play. I mean, in the fourth quarter, the score was 0-0. In the fourth quarter. In the fourth quarter. In the fourth quarter. Nobody could score. And at the end of it, they kicked a field goal. No, not even a touchdown. You guys lost, what, 3-0?
Starting point is 01:02:54 3-0. 3-0. We kept our perfect season. The only thing worse would have been a fucking safety, maybe. 2-0. It's like a soccer score. It was horrible, but that was the one sport I loved, and I had a
Starting point is 01:03:09 dickhead of a coach, Kevin Wilson, this guy who came in, and he went on to coach Indiana, by the way. This guy actually went on to a little bit of success, but then also got fired because he was such an asshole. Kids were quitting. Our best athletes were quitting because he was abusive, and he didn't know how to coach such an asshole. Kids were quitting. Our best athletes were quitting because he was abusive.
Starting point is 01:03:28 He didn't know how to coach kids, like high school kids, not professional athletes. It was a horrible time. My dad came to one of my highlights. My dad would record on VHS camcorder. I was a backup running back. I love how you're doing this.
Starting point is 01:03:43 You had to put a VHS in that. Yeah, that's right. Shut it like that and look at this thing out here. You know, that's a lot of work to ask somebody to just stand there and watch a whole game like this. But he showed up with his camcorder in Sunday school class. And I remember I had just recovered a fumble on defense and the coach goes, all right, it's almost into the half. I'm going to let you run the ball. Don't fumble. I was like, you got it, coach.
Starting point is 01:04:10 And this little sweet play comes, and I get the ball, and that's a counter play, and I'm going this way. My favorite thing is on the tape. If you watch the tape now, because I have the memory of me being in the scene, but I have a memory of me watching it later. So watching the tape is different. You hear everyone go, oh, they're bringing John in as a running back. Oh, look, John's going to run the ball. And then you hear
Starting point is 01:04:33 like, I get the ball, and you hear people go, go, go, go, go, run that ball, Ray, run that ball. And then out of nowhere, this lineman just hit me, and I was switching hands, and the ball just went up in the air, and I saw my feet in the ball ball and i saw my coach's face don't fumble i'm like but on the tape it goes from like yeah yeah yeah and it gets dead quiet and it just kind of the tape stops god dang it all right one more thing i want to talk to you about because as you mentioned before
Starting point is 01:05:07 you won last comic yes but you were also on star search yes previously when arsenio hall was the host okay uh i remember auditioning for that i feel like it was at a sheraton at universal studios i went and did this thing for star this was was years back. That would have been right at 2001. I believe that's probably about that time. 2002, maybe. But I got on Star Search. The host who was – oh, Arsenio was the host. And I was high energy, goofball.
Starting point is 01:05:41 And I thought I had a decent set. I lost the first round. One and done. Do you remember who you lost to? Is there anybody we know? Ben Bailey, the cash cab. Oh yeah, cash cab. He did great. I remember Carol Leifold
Starting point is 01:06:00 was one of the judges. I remember her saying I didn't like it. It's just not my cup of tea. I didn't think it was funny. And I just remember like, my career is over. This is it. I mean, I'm on national TV. People are voting. They didn't vote for me. They voted for this guy. I'm out. And my friends are calling me like, what happened? I'm like, I don't know. I thought I did good. And it was devastating. And that was 2001 or 2002. I remember thinking, look, this is the end of my career. How worse could it get?
Starting point is 01:06:30 I've done all this stuff. I've already toured across the country. I've done Montreal just for laughs. This is the moment. Like, all right, let's go. Time to perform. And I guess I ate shit. I guess I ate shit. I didn't really eat shit.
Starting point is 01:06:46 It was just, it sucked because there was, you had these different judges. It's a reality show. I mean, it's a contest. And I hate that, I hate contests like judging comedy. Like, even when I did Last Comic Standing, I kind of got talked into it because I was so traumatized from Star Search. I bet you I was going to ask what made you want to do that. Well, so my agent's like, you know, because they can get you an audition. I don't have to go stand in line.
Starting point is 01:07:13 He's like, all right, well, I can get you an audition. And I turned it down like two or three years. I just said, I don't think I want to do that because when i would watch at home i would see comedians who i know and like be on stage uh caught you know i have a care in the world kill their set and then look right in the camera and go please vote for me and there's something weird and desperate about that i didn't like the way it looked and i remember what happened to me before so i kind of just said no then he calls me up the season I was on. He goes, well, they're doing it different.
Starting point is 01:07:47 You don't have to live in a house. It's not going to be like a road rules thing. You had to live in that. I forgot about that part. In the first one or two seasons, they had to live in a house together. It was like Tammy Pascatelli, John Heffron, and Alonzo Bowden, all these guys lived in a house together. And I'm like, I don't want to do that. And so he goes, well, you don't have to live in a house together.
Starting point is 01:08:07 And they're trying to get road-tested headliners because they had some people on the show who didn't – when they get to a club, couldn't do 50 minutes. They could only do like the 10 or 15, and that was a problem. So they wanted to get headliners. And then they said the prize money is going up from $50,000 to $250,000. I thought, I'll go down there. I didn't think I would go far. But I kind of learned from Star Search like, all right, I'm going to play it up. They're going to make me the token redneck.
Starting point is 01:08:37 I already know this. So I'll go down there in the flannel. I'll put my Goodyear hat on. And I'll play it up. And I didn't think, like I said, I didn't think I would get as far as I did, but I kind of ended up winning, so that was good. Fuck yeah. That was 2007 Season 5.
Starting point is 01:08:54 All right. Yeah. Well, look, man, first of all, thank you for coming on here. My pleasure. I know what we talked about. This was great. I had a great time. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:09:03 Thanks for having me on. You're welcome. Thank you for being here. I feel like this is like a good therapy session. I love hearing that. A lot of was great. I had a great time. Thank you. Thanks for having me on. You're welcome. Thank you for being here. I feel like this is like a good therapy session. I love hearing that. A lot of people say that. Do they? Okay.
Starting point is 01:09:10 Yeah. But now I'm going to ask you a question I told you about outside before we started. Okay. Advice you would give to your 16-year-old self. What would you go back and say to 16-year-old John Reap? After everything we've talked about today from you having a kid to your relationship with your dad and now with your mom in the house and all that. Well, asking me now as a 49-year-old guy, like if you'd asked me as a 20-something-year-old guy what to do at 16, as a 30-year-old dude, it changes. Of course.
Starting point is 01:09:39 In three years, you'll probably have a different answer than you would say today. Yeah. So today, I would tell a 16-year-old self, save a little extra cash. Be diligent about savings. Be careful with the credit cards. Be careful with the ladies. Be very careful of the ladies. And stretch more. Fuck yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:08 I grew up looking at stretching as something girls do. And Jim, I didn't like, I hate it. And I'm like, I'm stiff as a board now. I would have said drink more water, stretch, save cash. Be careful. Those are all great, brother. Thank you, John, for real. And one more time, promote whatever you like, your dates, all that, your podcast.
Starting point is 01:10:29 Yeah. I do two podcasts, one with John Heffern called Heffern and Reap, and I do Country-ish. I love this one. Give it a chance. Go give me three views or listens and then decide if you're going to bounce or not. I think you'll like it. My goal is to have some of these people fall in love with my hometown friends from Hickory.
Starting point is 01:10:51 I got a guy named John Stamos' brother. We call him Marcus Stamos. He just looks like him a little bit. Okay, all right. But after you watch it a couple times, you'll start. I think you'll get into it. So check out Countryish, countryish.com. All right times, you'll start. I think you'll get into it. So check out Countryish. Countryish.com.
Starting point is 01:11:07 All right. Thank you very much. Thank you, buddy. As always, Ryan Sickler on all social media, ryansickler.com. Go to ryansickler.com for your tour tickets. Come out and see me. We'll talk to you all next week. Thank you.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.