The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Josh Potter - Rescues & Failures
Episode Date: July 6, 2020My HoneyDew this week is Josh Potter! Ol Tit Cups himself returns to talk about how he once fell in a well and his grandfather pulled him out with a rope. Speaking of grandfathers, we talk about what ...real men our grandfathers were and what pussies we are these days. Josh also discusses how his YMH room-cleaning video put him in a weird space and he recounts some hilarious radio contests where he literally sacrificed his body! Subscribe to my YouTube channel & watch The Dew there every toozdee! https://www.youtube.com/user/rsickler/videos Subscribe to my Patreon show, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I highlight the lowlights with y’all! What’s your story?? https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew Go to https://hellofresh.com/honeydew80 and use code honeydew80 to get a total of $80 off, including free shipping on your first box. Additional restrictions apply, please visit hellofresh.com for more details Â
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The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler.
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As you know, I like to highlight the lowlights, and over here, we like to hear the stories behind the storytellers.
And today's guest is no stranger to the do, and it's a pleasure to have him back here.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome back Josh Potter, y'all. Aw, shit. Good to have you back. Four and gentlemen please welcome back josh potter y'all oh shit
good to have you back four-time honeydew champ i uh i'm gonna say this again uh you are you're
my first video episode ever like crazy at ymh crab feast was all audio but you're my first ymh
video and ever so what a nice low visual bar to set isn't it i felt
like it was up from there yeah everyone else is prettier from there on out dude thank you for
being back thank you for coming to the new studio oh thanks for having me it looks great thank you
man um go ahead plug it up i know there's no show as well yeah we got no i mean i got shows in
september and november uh they're on my uh twitter at josh under or at j underscore potter on twitter um if they still happen those are on sale
but uh in the meantime you can you can watch me play fake football on twitch twitch.tv
slash josh underscore potter it's how i'm making a living right now is fake owning the Buffalo Bills. It's a bright future if my reality becomes true.
But yeah, that's how I'm doing it.
And Cameo also.
Cameo.com slash Josh underscore Potter if you want to take part in my adult sex work.
That's my life now.
That's how I'm making a living is shoulder hair porn and video games.
Shoulder hair porn. Yeah yeah my family's proud everyone's so proud of me what i've become in the quarantine well
that's we were just talking about before like our gosh our our grandparents went through great
depression you know all that and what they must have been doing during it's like i don't know in my mind they're
shoveling coal with who knows what my grandma used to save like as ptsd like when she was old
she would save rubber bands she'd be like you never know and i'm like what what do you do with
the fucking rubber band took down nine nazis is one of these motherfucking rubber bands tissues
in her pocket she'd take out and be like this is from 97 and still you know what i'm saying like fucking i can't even imagine now he's looking down on heaven on me
and just like what the fuck you know what i'm saying this is my fucking grandson sometimes i
wish he was still alive so i could see what he would have to not only say about the world but
like what i've done with my life you're like listen man you're a real you would have never
made it back then i I'll be honest,
I wouldn't have. I wouldn't have either. I wouldn't have.
He was in World War II. He was a
firefighter. He was an electrician.
And here I am, doing
shoulder hair.
And tit cups. And tit cups.
And fucking...
Wait, say his resume again.
And then say yours.
He was a... He fixed airplanes in World War II.
He's a firefighter.
An electrician.
Listen.
All shit that could kill you immediately.
And you have to have a skill set.
A vast skill set.
This guy's fixing airplanes. He's got wrenches and shit i'm like hey everyone
you know oh you want to rub your dick in my shoulder hair 50 bucks he's just looking down
and dude oh there's so many moments i've recently thought about him like looking down like um recently i had my room clean i know don't know if you saw that i i saw it and um you know that was hell in itself
obviously just going through that and like facing that and knowing that hundreds of thousands of
people are saying hell in a cell well it could have been that's a better word for it i said hell in itself but um christina and tom were nice enough to buy
me like furniture to put in my room and uh i i got one of the dressers and you know now they
expect everyone so nice it's it is so ridiculous i can't thank them enough i mean they're like
here's they're turning me into a human being which is more than my family's ever done for me.
Your grandfather's like, at least thank God for those two.
Well, and then so the fucking dresser comes, right?
And it's in a flat box.
And they expect everyone to be a goddamn construction worker.
Now you're a fucking architect.
And you got to build.
I wish the furniture just came.
And then you just put it in.
Like the old days.
Well, you can do that.
You got to pay extra for it.
I'll pay whatever.
Somebody put it together. In this case, it was you gotta pay extra i'll pay whatever somebody put it together this case it was guys like your grandfather yeah exactly putting it together and delivering it i opened it up and i'm looking at this thing and i'm like i don't know
how to fucking do this shit so my friend uh who's a comic and also an adult uh film actress kate
kennedy she came over and like basically put my dresser together for me she did that for you yeah because
she loves that shit she's like didn't you ever play with legos i was about to say it's adult
legos never fucked i mean when i fucked with legos i would put them all in one bin and i'd
build what i want i wouldn't follow the directions so when i see a directions i shut down so she
built i mean like and so i'm thinking my grandpa's up there's like you gotta have a fucking woman
come over and build a fucking woman coming over dress for you pieces and like, and so I'm thinking my grandpa's up there. He's like, you got to have a fucking woman come over and build a fucking dresser. You got a goddamn woman coming over and building your dress for you, piece of shit.
And I'm like, so I'm sitting there going like, I'm progressive.
You're just over there sitting and watching her with titty cups.
I'll be over here doing my cameo.
I got a few cameos.
I got a couple customs I got to put out there.
But yeah, it's fucking.
I haven't been on one firefight.
You know what I mean? I haven't been on just firefight you know what i mean i haven't been on just one call you know he's going on a bunch of them and then going and fucking with shit that could electrocute him
immediately he's putting them out yeah i'm pulling over when they come by like oh my god when i hear
a siren i get scared i'm like i hear a siren in the distance i'm like oh that's scary two
generations later what pussies we are.
Oh, my God, dude.
It's so wild.
I mean, I've had it, too, where, like, back when I drove, I remember, like, I'd get a flat tire and I'd have to call AAA.
And, like, I remember one time, like, a real petite, like, cheerleader girl, like, was the AAA person.
And I was like, do you need help?
And she's like, no.
You know what I mean?
This is what I.
And I felt so weird and again i could feel his just his beaming down on me from heaven shaking his head at me his friends are giving him shit like what a fucking pussy your grandson
he's up there like
he was such like a man it's so weird that i'm like only one generation removed from him
you know like i remember my grandma she had i'm more like my grandma than my grandpa obviously
she would have like night terrors and like mental health problems you know she'd be like
in the middle of the night she used to just start screaming or like yelling it's like terrifying to
hear for real yeah she would or she would just start talking loudly she'd be like oh i was at the store and then you're like oh my god and there would be
like times when i'd have to like babysit her because she'd have her surgeries meanwhile he's
been through wars and fuck dude he does not i remember one shit. Not affected. She's worried about the grocery store.
I saw buttons on ice cream.
She's yelling.
Or she'd scream. He's trying to bomb all Nazis and shit.
She'd scream, dude.
She'd be like, ah, like so loud.
And he'd just be like.
There was one time I was babysitting her because he doesn't wake up.
He doesn't even affect it.
So he couldn't watch her when she had a surgery.
She broke her wrist or something.
And I remember she had to like sleep a certain way so my parents like set up a cot and made me like monitor her at night and i'd be like laying there dead asleep and she'd be like
oh and i'd be like oh i'd freak out that would be terrifying like up like immediately and then
i hear my grandpa from the other room go, Rita, shut up!
And she would just wake up then and go back to sleep, but he'd be unfazed.
Rita, shut up! Yeah.
Like it's nothing.
Like it's fucking, like the alarm clock went off or something and he hit the snooze.
like the alarm clock went off or something and he hit the snooze dude's probably seen hitler in person and she's fucking screaming in the middle of the night oh yeah dude i remember uh we went
camping one time and i uh i'm blazing through my list what you went with your grandfather well we
all we all used to go to my Aunt Jean's cottage.
Where is that?
It was like up in the Allegheny Mountains somewhere.
I don't remember exactly where,
because we didn't go after I was a little kid any longer.
But, you know, it had a creek,
and it had like, you know, a big cottage and yard and stuff,
and the whole family would go, like dozens of us.
Okay, so like aunts, uncles, cousins, everybody's gone.
All at the same time.
Yeah.
And I lived with my grandparents like my whole life.
Like they lived in the upstairs apartment.
We lived in the downstairs apartment.
And he's your dad or mom's parents?
Mom's parents.
And so, you know, we're camping, we're going.
I'm getting firewood for the fire, you know, in the sun setting.
And there's this like, it's like a cylinder sticking out of the ground
it's red and it's got a little like metal top on it and i'm a kid or whatever i just go and like
jump on it because it's like sitting there and you know how like you're a kid you jump on a curb
or you jump on something there was no rhyme or reason why i did it but i jump on it and i fall
in the thing is like a lid and it tilts like this and I fall in and it's a well.
You felt like Baby Josh.
Like Baby Josh.
Baby Josh.
Are you serious?
But I was eight, so I didn't fall very far,
but I felt 10 feet down or something like that.
That's a far fall.
It's a basketball room.
Well, I got wedged in it.
It wasn't the bottom of it and there was no wall.
Thankfully, it wasn't full.
So hold on.
You fell in this thing and you're wedged in and you can see above you yeah the thing closed oh fuck and it was like
i'm screaming are you by yourself no thankfully my sister saw me fall into it so she runs and
goes and gets my my grandpa who's like down at the creek or whatever and um i i didn't know what
it was i fell into and like there was no water in it, and it got narrower as it went down, so I got kind of stuck.
And then my grandpa just opens the lid, and he's like, what are you walking on this thing for?
The first thing he says to me is like, fuck.
Right, not are you okay.
Yeah, yeah.
He's like, or then he said something.
He's like, I guess the lid wasn't locked.
And I'm sitting there like, yeah, I don't know.
And he's like, he starts just lowering a rope down and i i just grab it and he's like well and i'm like oh what
and i thought he was gonna pull me out like start climbing yeah he's like start pulling yourself out
and he's helping me give you some help but help your goddamn self he's helping me but he's like
you got to pull yourself out here a little bit i can't pull you up 10 feet i'm a fucking old man
oh my god you fell on a fucking well dude it was it was scary and then like i got out of it and i
was just kind of like i was only down there for a few minutes and uh you know i had to wait for
my grandpa to go get the rope from his truck.
That was probably the longest part.
He probably walked and smoked a cigarette.
He's like, listen, I've been in a tight spot.
He's got to go.
He didn't rush.
Yeah, he didn't rush.
He's looking for the right rope.
I don't want to waste this rope on him right now.
What if it gets wet?
What if I lose it down there?
Holy shit.
Yeah, he was a fucking man that's for sure just
totally removed from he used to just sit on the porch and whistle you know like to himself yeah
just whistle just like aimlessly just stare into the space i'm telling you that's it's where i'm
headed it's all i want i want i just want i don't care about the size of the house. I'd rather have more land than a big house.
Yeah.
I'm fine in a regular size house.
I just want to be left to fuck alone.
How many hours you think can,
or minutes even,
can you sit on a porch just whistling without looking at your phone?
That's the thing that your grandpa was up there looking at us right now.
Like,
look at these fucking assholes. I remember he had to get a cell phone at the tail end i forget what just to have
you know like for whatever reason and he'd never turn he wouldn't have it on he would just have it
off i'm like what are you carrying it for because you all told me i have exactly he would turn it
on to use it yeah and then turn it off when it was over no incoming just outgoing only he'd be like no you got to keep it on he's
like keep it on for what it's like i don't know what this thing's doing to me he's probably right
about this yeah for sure dude but yeah it was wild you know being like thinking about all the race
stuff going on too like he was he was definitely racist but like in an innocent way is that that
makes sense you know like i don't know that he was hateful but he definitely used words yeah
exactly yeah and you know like being in world war ii i mean jap this jap that you know throwing
that around like it's fucking you know hey what's up you know i had a friend of mine um who worked
at a nursery uh um landsca, not babies, nursery.
And it would be a different story when you hear it if it was a baby nursery.
But he was working with this guy, and he was selling.
They had a Japanese maple tree.
And the abbreviation on the tag, just for barcodes and shit, said Jap Maple.
And he's like, well, we have these Jap Maples here. The guy goes,
hey man, Jesus Christ.
Okay, this isn't your grandfather's
country. And he was like, what's
this? Dude, I'm just reading what the
fucking thing says. I didn't realize
it was short for
Japanese.
Whoops. The guy got so
mad at him. He's like, I'm just reading
the abbreviated thing on the tag here for
yeah man i don't know um but yeah i mean he was a fucking man dude and now i'm playing video games
every day and putting tick cuffs on fucking for hundreds of thousands of people i wonder what he
thinks so so i wish i could you know figure that out you know if there's people up there
yeah they're like you gotta come see what your grandson's doing now he's got
he's got those tip cups on again again
how old's he now 34 he's 34 how would you do at 34 and he's like i had four kids i had fucking
i had i built a fucking shed yeah yeah yeah fought in a war
I fought fires
34 years
yeah but he's got
kids now right
he can't even come
how's he gonna have kids
he can't even come
oh my god he's so embarrassed
he's gotta come to have kids
could you imagine if he knew?
Telling me my grandkid can't even ejaculate in a woman?
No, can't ejaculate at all.
That's right.
Yeah, no, that's true.
Oh, man.
That is fucking classic, dude.
Yeah, man.
Jesus Christ.
The tit cup thing is...
Yeah, you texted me the other day.
I'm worried if...
You got recognized.
I did, yeah.
I was walking down the street,
and I usually have my headphones in.
In this case, I didn't.
And I hear from the distance in a car
as it's driving by, I go,
Tit cups!
As it's driving.
Tit cups!
I'm like, yeah. Do a little wave thanks guys now he's getting recognized by people for it
stranger well my parents are still alive i wonder if they're getting any
reaction my mom has no idea what I do.
She has no like.
She doesn't even bother checking in.
It's not that she doesn't check in.
She doesn't understand it.
Listen, I'm not judging.
No, no.
It's probably best.
No, of course.
I'm not going to educate her on like how to watch it or anything.
But she doesn't.
She thinks I'm still doing radio still.
She thinks it's like radio still.
You know, she's like, which channels it on? I'm like, it's on the Internet. She's like radio still, you know. She's like, which channel is it on?
I'm like, it's on the internet.
She's like, but it's radio.
I'm like, yeah, whatever.
So she doesn't know how to find it or anything like that.
But I'd imagine what if people went up to her and was like, your son's Tic Cups, right?
She's like, what?
What?
Yeah.
I can't.
Tic Cups.
I kind of hope that happens, actually.
Well, I remember because we did the episode of YMH.
You were on before me. Yeah. And I was out in the lobby watching you with the tit cups on again.
So, yeah, putting them back on.
Do higher grade tit cups.
Tit cups.
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Now let's get back to the show.
I've been doing that shit forever, though.
I got into that trap in radio I found where I was.
You don't mean to pump the brakes.
Well, just in general.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, I did.
The first thing that got me on the radio was getting shot with a taser.
What do you mean?
I had a police officer just shoot me with a taser in the studio
because at first he was gonna just give everyone a little stun gun and we're like but he's like
but if you want i could shoot it into the back of someone with the prongs and everything do the full
ride the five of lightning and none of them wanted to do that is it five five seconds yeah just because
you know and how did he were you standing when he did
it yeah so like uh can i just tell you real quick my cousins uh well at this point he's retired
he's he's been a retired cop forever long story short day one day one when he finally out of uh
training and shit he's riding with his partner and um some high-speed chase happens so they get involved they hit a median
and they roll and he has to get his leg breaks he's got to get pins and all this shit put in it
and they give him an office job for a couple years and they're like and by the way now you can retire
with full benefits and i was like you gotta be fucking kidding me this motherfucker was a cop
one day he's on the force for a day, but then worked for,
you know,
but he couldn't,
but he's a liability on the street.
He's got,
you know,
he can't run after people and shit.
So,
um,
anyway,
um,
he told me that when they went through training,
they used to tase guys standing up,
but they would freeze up and they'd fall and break their jaw or their nose.
So they started making them get on their knees.
Yeah. So the, uh, fall was shorter. And that's's why well the way that they did it for me well first of all none of the show hosts or anyone on the show wanted to do it yeah so i'm sitting there
as an intern and i was like i'll fucking do it you volunteered you didn't get volunteered nope i
wanted to get on the air and i was young and. And so they're like, all right. So they had it.
So two people held my arms and then slowly lowered me to the ground.
And that's the other thing that blew me away.
It doesn't conduct through someone else.
Yeah, when they touch you.
Yeah, because when we were kids, I'm sorry I keep interrupting.
No, that's okay.
But this is what trips me out.
When we were kids, we used to have this farm that was not far away.
It had an electric fence.
And if you grab that,
have you ever touched one?
Right, right.
And then if they grab you,
it's all the chain.
As long as you grab somebody else,
it conducts right through you.
Right.
So I wonder why.
What is it?
I don't know.
I have no idea what's different about it.
It's just through those problems.
I'm not a scientist.
Maybe it's less,
well, I don't know.
But it's,
these fucking needles
are like little harpoons
that they just go into your back.
So what do you feel. Is that painful too?
Then they take them out and they have to be like
because it's like a hook
because they leave that shit so you can't run
away. They can keep
it going too. That's what they said to me while
it was in me. They're like, you want to do another one? I'm like, no,
no. I took them out of me finally.
What's that feel like?
It felt like I got struck by lightning.
The thing that got me on the radio was i didn't swear because if i would have
cursed they would have had to dump out of it it would have gone gone away forever and so i didn't
swear they thought i was a pro so then you know what it's like what what is he going to do next
kind of thing grandfather would have been proud of that though he was alive during that part and
i remember he started hearing that i was on the radio and he used to brag about it or something someone told me that
that was nice to hear but i don't know that he exactly heard what i was doing because i was also
then like wearing dresses and going i went trick-or-treating i dude i was wearing uh i wore
a school girl outfit and went trick-or-treating at pedophiles houses and i swear that's a stunt
they had you do jesus christ that's on the
internet somewhere and then that's great we did uh i did i this was a contest i helped come up with
called nude with a dude and it worked the first time i know uh you had tommy lee in here it was
for motley crew tickets and we had all right yeah we had two guys that um we said whoever can last
in this sleeping bag the longest two two guys together naked, whoever can last the longest gets the tickets.
So we'd have them rotate and stuff.
We'd do little bits like come in every 15 minutes and put porn in front of them.
So then it'd be like, all right, you got to go back to front.
Now you got to go front to front.
We'd make them rotate like that.
In a sleeping bag?
In a sleeping bag.
Two strangers?
Yeah, yeah.
That's fun.
Listen, I want to ask you.
Yeah.
What would you, because I would never do that for Motley Crue, for any fucking ticket.
What would it take you?
It would have to be a substantial amount of money for me.
It's not.
Unfortunately for me, it took my salary and my job
listen because the contest was such a hit that we did it again and only one person showed up
so they were like yo we need a we need an eight o'clock here no so they're like you got i and i
was like all right i guess i'm taking the bullet because it was like you know it was on me bro it
was on me to have the segment full.
And if that contest didn't go off, that's an empty slot.
So I was like, I'll go.
What was the second one for?
For probably another concert.
Metallica maybe or something.
And I told the guy, I'm like, you're good.
Wait, hold on.
Let's go back for a second.
So how long did they last before somebody won?
The first time, it was awesome.
It got to the point, it was awesome.
It got to the point where it was the end of the show.
How long was that, like two, three hours?
Well, we started it around a little before eight.
The show's four hours, and so it went until 10,
and it was getting to the end of the show.
We're like, one of you guys got to step it up here.
The one guy just started beating off.
No.
That's how he got the other guy to go, all all right that's right now that's crossing a lot because he was like
they were like eye to eye and he's like in the sleeping bag so and i was like touche good you
should have did that probably an hour ago you know but i'm glad you waited away i'm glad you waited
so we could have that tsl baby time spent listening
so when it comes up again and we only have one person show up i go i gotta take the fucking
bullet i told the guy i'm like you're gonna win just make me just get me past the 8 30 break you
know what i'm saying like i'll get out i'll give up or whatever so i had to do nude with a dude
i didn't get any new money i was getting paid dog shit like minimum wage are you
still an intern at this point have you been oh no i'm hired but i'm getting paid nothing like i got
paid nothing throughout my entire i did a lot of things for no money for radio and now it's uh
you know here i am bringing that expertise to the couch of your mom's house and putting tit cups on my body. That's child's play compared to what I did in the radio game.
But I was a young buck back then, you know?
So what happens?
You get in this thing with this dude?
What's he look like?
He looks kind of like I look now, actually.
He's got like long, squirrely hair.
He looked like the sidekick in, remember in ninja turtles the one dude who
was like he had like that flat brim hat he looked kind of like the undertaker i don't know why he's
coming to mind but he had like he was real mousy and like real like hey man you know that kind of
guy and he wasn't like it wasn't like six five three hundred pound no it wasn't crazy we both
fit in there pretty snug and uh you know we did the whole like
you know how long were you in there for the probably 45 minutes you were in there for 45
minutes and i it's it's something i gotta tell you like i remember the one host of the show shred was
like you know and we're in a commercial break at this point and now i have to i'm like all right
man i'm gonna get out of the sleeping bag so if you want to turn around or whatever i'm put my
pants on it's just a weird like walk of shame to put your pants back on in the radio studio after getting out of us
yeah and then you go do your work make it with a dude yeah you go over there email him then you
got yeah then you get your clipboard out you're like all right well uh we got an interview at
10 45 uh you want me to get you the prep? You know, like... You have to go right back into work mode after that.
See Cheryl in the office?
How are you?
It's funny because I interned at radio in college,
and I was the total opposite of you.
I didn't give a fuck.
They would give me shit.
I interned for this station.
At the time, it was 100 GRX.
It was classic rock.
And then it went to 100X right when I got there.
And that's when it went to the 90s, like Bush and Candlebox and that kind of rock at the time.
Nirvana, all that.
And they were big.
All right, we're going to go see.
We're going to this candle box concert tonight you have
to hand out all there's a picture of me somewhere with the band of candle box out there it exists
somewhere on social media left me far behind and they were like you got to give these bumper
stickers out and shit and then you have the credentials coming through the back you can
watch the show or whatever and i would go okay and then they would leave and i'd wait five minutes i'd go over to a
dumpster i'd throw every bumper sticker right in the fucking dumpster and then i would come through
the front door and stay on and then i'd eventually be like like you got rid of them i'm like yep i
got rid of them i i used to out of just pure love of the game used to go to competing radio station
events and put bumper
stickers like not like you know not the sticker on the car but i'd put them in the windshield
of like every car in the parking lot of them but just like to be that kid or whatever and be like
see i love it here you know you're gonna give me a real job someday right and then they're like no
we're gonna keep taking advantage of you while you keep doing this shit yeah exactly
so and plus i was like i said i was a young kid so i was hungry or whatever well they asked me to
get into this is where it ended for me this is this is how crazy they got and i was like i ain't
doing that so at the end of the year they they again switched to a froggy country there were
these froggy fm country stations around the the u.s yeah it's like a
thing they kept copying over and over again yeah and i had already gotten my credits that i need
and everything so i was just done yeah and i'm just about and they're like hey so we've got this
event today you're gonna be and it's like summer it's hot as fuck yeah you're gonna be we need you
to dress up in this froggy costume and and i was like nope they're like what do you
mean no i was like i'm done my internship's done i'm this is free i got my credits it's a wrap like
no no no you can't i go oh yeah and i just hung up fucking now i wouldn't get into froggy fucking
suit it's weird where i drew the line on stuff like that i wouldn't get into suits like that but i would be like let's do the naked yeah oh the mascot we used to have like listeners by myself yeah exactly like
at least i'm seen on the one you know what i mean like that's where i would draw the line
i i fucking i swam with a snapping turtle um did it bite you it it did a little bit
dude those things can like i know it could have taken
my fucking arm off yeah easily and uh i didn't know that we didn't know enough about snapping
turtles until after we like dude that's a dinosaur like i remember we were like i was like on the way
home and and uh guy calls me from the office he's like doing a little google in here on yeah yeah
dude he's like you're lucky you got out because and like he goes uh if it would have latched on to you and we would have
chopped its head off it's still would have been latched on to you he's like they they like stay
on you he's like i don't know how we would have gotten it up we would have had to like take you
to somewhere to like get it off for you because it's like if it clamps on and you chop its head
off it does not stop the clamp
stays the jaw i think it like lasts like 10 years or something i don't know but it's like
they're monsters you could ride some of those things get huge this thing was the size of um
like a garbage can lid yeah his shell yeah and it fucking like two hand hold you have to hold it
like this yeah yeah dude and it it just didn't it bit you where it didn't get me like it just was like it got near me and i was like that was enough and it like scraped me bit you where? It didn't get me.
It got near me and I was like, that wasn't enough.
It scraped me.
It was in the guy's pond that he told us
he had him. We just went there.
I told the guy he had a gun.
I told the guy, no matter what happens, fire
that gun. It'll sound awesome on the radio
even if the turtles come near me.
Just pretend. When I go, holy shit,
it almost bit me. he starts firing the gun like that was like i didn't realize it was that close to me
and so i'm on the air and i'm like oh shit it just like almost got me there
and the guy just goosh goosh and they're like what the fuck was that i'm like
yeah yeah they hear gunfire they're like what the and i knew it would sound
cool but they were like uh and then they just hung like the guy just like put me on hold like
reagan like just put me on hold he was like they're shooting guns i'm not gonna keep them
on the air so like it was a it was an interesting moment but um yeah i did all kinds of dumb shit
like that and here we are today using it to my uh advantage
for the plenty of people i'm gonna put my dick in a dick cage next uh you're gonna do that well
christina bought it so i think i have we were talking about it on that episode and i was like
god you know yeah what is the whole point is to punish you so that you don't get erect but if you
do well it's like you put your soft dick in it and then it tortures you by like
then if you you know they do things to you i think this is what happens in the bdsm world
it's so that if you get an erection obviously it hurts because it's in a fucking cage yeah and
so you're supposed to not get one despite what they're doing to you so i think that's the game
that's going to be played is i'm going to put it on and then they're going to get a woman to see if she can turn me on.
But I don't think I'll be able to.
I don't think I'll be able to get hard with all those eyes on me.
With Tom and Christina there, I don't think I'll be able to get hard regardless of what she could be like blowing me.
I don't think I'll be able to get hard.
You know what I mean?
I can't. I'll be able to get hired. Do you know what I mean? I can't.
God, man.
You should have a split screen of your grandfather in heaven looking down on you doing that.
It gets worse.
You're only getting older, kid.
You've got to see this shit.
So I don't know.
Tom has a secret weapon, lady-wise, that he says he's going to bring in. And we'll see has a secret weapon lady wise that he says he's gonna bring in
and uh we'll see secret weapon yeah but i can't wait to see this i'm glad it doesn't have because
i noticed some mods of these cages have like a thing that goes in your urethra no no no oh god
i just and i closed my leg i i prayed i like asked christine i'm like it's not the one with the
urethra thing right and she's like i don't know and then I like went look thank god it's not I mean would you have done it if it
was I don't think so I don't think I could have handled that nothing's going up my dick hole no
I've had any I had I think I told that on this podcast before but I had a thing in my urethra
scope for uh you know I thought I had a blockage or something as a little kid and they put a scope up there, camera and it fucking hurt.
Yeah.
Like a lot.
I still remember it vividly.
And I was like five.
I worked with a girl one time when I was writing back in the day.
Um,
and,
and it's so funny cause another one of my friends recently we got together,
uh,
a friend of ours,
uh,
passed from cancer and we all got together to,
uh,
to,
to hang out and see one another and celebrate him.
And she said,
uh,
we still are in communication,
but she's like,
I'll never forget that one time.
So,
and so told you about that dude and this guy that this girl was dating was
into it.
Oh,
it's hard to even say but he would have her
grow the pinky coke now oh yeah and then dig it in his urethra put it up his fucking dick hole and
then carve it and i'm while she's sitting there i'm just going oh my god she's like i just remember
how upset that major i'm like it's upsetting me that you're bringing it up right now like why are
you that's rough i mean hey man there's people into whatever
i'm not judging i'm just saying that one's i can't that might be a good idea by the way to do
before the dick cage experiment is for me to do coke before because then i definitely won't get
hard oh there you go do a bunch of blow why'd you die on the goddamn show no all i need is a few
bumps and my dick will be like peace out bro my dick is like a couple
bumps in my dick's like well i'm retired forever i feel like my dick i mean i don't know have you
ever done your grandfather's like i used to do coke before i flew planes for christ i still get
hard every time yeah no you've never done coke no i'm not i'm i'm i'm i've done a few drugs i've
talked about it's not i've done shrooms a couple times.
I've never fucked with acid.
I've never fucked with coke.
I've never fucked with as I pour my water.
Yeah, coke isn't a thing that I like.
I always say, like, I don't do coke, but I'll do it.
You know what I mean?
Like, it's around.
So I've never, like, been.
It's not, like, a penchant of mine because i don't like upper things but
right that's exactly me i'm weed but you know i like uh when girls have coke and they want to do
it yeah i know where this is going so i mean whether wherever it goes or not i i've dated
tons of girls that do cocaine i have done cocaine in front whatever but the unfortunate part is i've
gotten older is i've noticed that when you do it even minutely my fucking dick is just
it couldn't be in a worse state well then you're totally convincing me not to ever no of course i
that's what i said i'm like if you would have gone to my high school in dare program or whatever
anti-drug stuff if you would have just said to me like you do coke your dick's gonna look like
the saddest thing you've ever seen it's gonna be it's
gonna crawl up in your body it's gonna crawl up in your body you want to embarrass yourself in
front of a woman do coke and then show her your fucking dick that's what they should tell you
in dare to keep you off of it you think these this guy here in this tit cups or something yeah
yeah i yeah i remember we had a i've told this before a long time ago but we had a dare
officer come in you know and they passed around this little
trade his box with like what drugs look like in it and it fucking went back up and it had an
extra joint on it that's hilarious
that's always my favorite that motherfucking cop got one back like hey man hey this wasn't uh
this isn't an amnesty box
i always wondered if those things were real when they brought him in
either well they weren't the ones we got yeah we had a guy i'll never forget this maryland state
trooper told this story about, I mean, I wonder
if it was true, because he looked fine, but he told the story about how he was hit by a drunk
driver, and he was so close to death that they told him, look, we can't put you under, or you
won't make it, and we have to perform surgery with no anesthesia this is what he told us and it
was like peeling his face like brutal shit you know what i mean and we're like jesus christ this
is the stuff they're coming in they used to take a car from uh i mean they would say it was a drunk
driving accident you don't know if it really was but any car that had been mangled yeah and they
would just throw it right on the front of the high school lawn and they would say this is what happens when you drink and drive you know try to scare kids
that's crazy meanwhile kids are riding by throwing beer bottles yeah yeah you know kids are fucking
stupid you know just stupid that's crazy yeah we never had anything like that um it was in the 90s
it was a little more sensitive i think you know We didn't watch Red Concrete or whatever that video was where they'd show that video of just brutal car accidents, drunk driving car accidents.
None of that.
None of that kind of shit.
My mom used to tell us when we were little kids really fucked up stories, though, about trying to scare us straight almost.
But she would get like...
I feel like my mom got off on talking about morbid shit.
get like i feel like my mom got off on talking about morbid shit you know because i remember like her just telling us a story like oh yeah karen and um her husband were riding along the
road and a deer came out and just jumped uh who first threw the windshield and then it got scared
so it started flailing and it smashed both their heads in and And they died. And we're like six. We're like, wow, that's fucking crazy.
And my mom's just nonchalantly telling this story to us at the dinner table.
I'm like, oh my god.
It just painted this vivid image in my brain that I've never been able to shake.
Imagine everyone's kind of like you're in a car accident with a deer jumping through the windshield.
And then you kind of come to. And the deer comes to and it's like,
and then you just get your fucking head bashed in.
That's fucked up.
That's fucked up.
Yeah.
Thanks, Mom.
Your arm would have been ripped off by a snapping turtle, though.
Right?
That's true.
Well, again, we didn't know.
What other shit did you do?
Do you remember any of this?
I mean, that's crazy.
Yeah.
Okay, now if I have to, here's how badly I don't want to do that. didn't know what other shit did you do do you remember any other i mean that's crazy yeah okay
now if i have to now here's how badly i don't want to do that but if i have a choice between
nude with a dude or snapping turtle i'm definitely getting in a sleeping bag no the snapping turtle
is probably the most dangerous you might as well get in the water with a fucking crocodile we did
not know the level of which we thought you know it hurt if it bit me like a fucking turtle, you know, like, but the further reading that we did, uh, once the bit was underway,
further reading, there was no one did any research.
We did it.
We just wanted to do it.
And I remember like, I remember riding out there and having the radio on and hearing
them go like, huh, it says here that uh they can really
clamp on for a long time and I'm like
it looks like a decade I'm sitting
I'm like riding out I'm like is this part of the bit
you know like I'm asking them like do you think that's
true and then yeah they uh
we came back and we're like that could have been bad there was
some I mean listeners eventually I
tried to like point the contest I would
come up with to the listener because we would have listeners
do a bunch of dumb shit what kind of legal shit are you having them so this is what's
amazing about it before a certain point remember there was a contest in Seattle where a woman died
because she like was drinking too much water no well it was a contest uh that we used to do also
you know these con these contests and shit they get recycled and they're not exactly you know
brain surgery so you know you kind of
retread some things we used to do one called don't break the seal where it would be like we'd get a
coffee sponsor to bring in a bunch of coffee people would drink it and the first person to pee is out
so the last person wins the seattle uh station did a contest called we for we and it was like
when the we gaming system first came out and the last person who didn't take a piss after drinking water would win it.
And this woman got water poisoning and died.
I didn't even know that was a thing.
So she just held it until this happened.
Yeah.
And drank so much.
She was so super hydrated that apparently you can drink too much water and die.
Yeah.
So she died. That put an end nationwide to any listener contest because we would have them come in and sign this shitty little waiver.
But they could have if they died.
That waiver doesn't mean shit.
We used to we had one time.
This one was for Metallica tickets.
We used to do lick it for tickets was like a common thing.
We'd have people like toilets.
We'd have people urinal cakes.
We so we put this really ridiculous hot sauce on a plate and like spread it out on a plate and
everyone had to clean their plate and after we had to meet like doorknobs toilets could you imagine
fucking coronavirus days yeah right like so there we had them like all this stuff and then the toilet
and then the hot sauce though was the thing that they did it and these people like were like call 9-1-1 they so we had to call like ambulances and
shit and it all of a sudden the news shows up and they're yeah multiple your grandfather's rolling
up like what the fuck are you doing but it was great i mean like i was scared we were all gonna
get fired but then it was like it was great because then it got us on the news and shit.
And, like, there's our hosts, like, in the lobby going, like, yeah, you know, we had a contest go a little awry.
You know, that kind of thing.
I remember one, the scariest one, though, that didn't come off as scary on the air.
It just was scary for me was we had guys do, like, almost like a polar plunge.
It was, you know, the middle of winter.
And it was, like, you have to swim to this and back in some part of the the river and um i go like
it's just me out there with these guys and so i'm thinking like all of a sudden i see the guy like
struggling when he's at the halfway point and he's like i don't know if i can make it back and i'm
like you gotta because i can't come out there and save you and i'm the only one
here you gotta yeah and he just was like and he made i remember him getting out of the water i
mean going like and i put took him back those it was for like bills versus vikings tickets in like
2006 you know when the bills were dog shit like this guy probably could
have gotten like hypothermia or died or whatever and i'm thinking like good god man like i can't
believe i skated out of that one you know who knows what could have happened if that guy just
drowned out there the shit people will do for like when you really break it down if you can
step outside of for single all right if i were to die what's a cost is my life 300 is my life worth what are the tickets it was another time because it's
fucking deck shit yeah exactly i mean this wasn't backstage right you ain't meeting the bills you're
getting fucking cop tickets bro these are just for the tailgate. It's why that,
I don't think that should exist anymore though.
I mean,
no,
no.
Like I think if radio tried to do shit like that,
I mean, you can probably barely get people to call into it.
What's radio.
Yeah,
exactly.
So I mean like,
I love that the conversation is switching.
It used to be,
what's podcast like a radio show.
No,
I'm like,
what's radio.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I fucking love it.
I mean,
I'm on, I still have friends in the business and I know a lot of them, you know,
through this whole Corona virus thing, a lot of them furloughed, lost their jobs and cause
radio is always looking for an excuse to fucking cut down.
And it's nice to work in a, in a, the same type of medium kind of, uh, and have it be
expanding as opposed to constantly reducing.
Cause that's what would happen to me.
I'd get a new job or a new job title heaped on me and i would never get a raise and they would just take
the money from that job and keep it for the corporation you know and eventually i stopped
even just trying it was just i would show up when i want i would leave when i want it got bad
and so thankfully i got to move out here because it was coming to an end
whether they were going to fire me or
you were going to die or I was just going to kill myself
yeah so I
you know I wasn't doing that
bullshit by the end either because it wasn't
worth it you know I thought it would lead to
glory and you know
a show and stuff and
that window was closed
you know they weren't going to make a new morning show with me ever,
you know?
So yeah,
here I am,
baby.
Why don't you do your own podcast?
I will be,
I was going to say,
you're so in the fucking,
I mean,
even going back to radio days,
you're so embedded in it.
No,
for sure.
You know,
um,
and I've done,
you are going to be doing one.
Yeah.
Oh,
that's great.
I don't know if I'm supposed to talk about that or what, but I, and I think it was just
a matter of figuring out what that's going to be.
So.
Can you talk about it or not yet?
I mean, I don't know.
I don't think so.
I can just say that I'm, that it's in the works, you know?
So I don't know what it's going to be quite yet either.
I can't wait to see what your grandfather thinks of it.
Like what the fuck is this guy doing? i can't wait to see what your grandfather thinks of it like what the fuck is
this guy i can't admit i mean i'm already there's nothing else i guess i i mean when i wake up every
morning and i take off my shirt to do my shoulder hair porn for a few people i mean and god bless
you for booking the cameos you're saving my bacon out there uh but it is a little piece of me dies
inside each and every one well it goes you mentioned
um tom and christina having your place cleaned and it really it fucked with you a little bit
yeah why how what happened i mean it didn't fuck with me in terms of like i'm glad i got it done
and i made that step because it was bad and it was like a prison that i put myself in and i just
couldn't get over it and um telling us though bro
yeah it was dog and so i fucking once it was cleaned i felt relief in that but then you know
showing it to people and like knowing like showing the video of it being cleaned well just showing
how bad it got to people was embarrassing did you have people come over though no never never you
never had visitors never once i, not during that time.
Right.
When it was bad.
I had it before, prior.
I mean, because I've even, even some girls, like, that have been in my place, like, hit
me up, and they're like, man, it got bad, huh?
Because they had been in there before, and it was normal.
And I was like, yeah, you know, you know.
And just, it was weird, like, you know, having, because there were some people that reached
out and were, like, super nice about it, but then there were some people who I definitely could tell it turned, like I no longer have any sort of authority with them. You know what I mean? Cause it's like, if I say anything, try to make a statement on anything, it's like, well, what the fuck, you know, look at how shitty your life is. You know what I'm saying?
you know what i'm saying so there was like that element of it that kind of fucked with me a little bit but you know the the outpouring of positivity has been greater so you know there's that but you
know you you see one comment you're like oh fuck you know what i mean yeah the guy that's got nine
followers and yeah i don't and then like you know through coronavirus of positivity i was doing so
good at ignoring all that shit but coronavirus like makes you just bored and you're
just looking at twitter constantly and i'll just read one more yeah exactly just read one more i
shouldn't have read one i shouldn't have read that that one's gonna fuck with no i need to it's like
gambling and you're just down yeah and you're like i gotta put in another bet try and get back up
um i don't know how you feel. I try once a year.
I'm not saying you're not or anything.
I'm just telling you the type of person I am.
I'm super clean.
Annie and Ash will tell you.
I like shit clean, organized.
I'm a bit OCD with that kind of stuff.
But I also, once a year, I'll try to go through shit in my place and just get rid of it.
If I haven't used it,
don't need it.
I'm like,
it's whatever it's gone,
you know?
No,
that's,
and that's proactive.
That's the thing I'm learning that I have to deal with.
The reason that it's good.
And I really believe this and I've seen it happen is because once you
physically and literally move shit out of your space,
you now open up space for new things to come in you want
those to be obviously positive and good things but of course you got to get rid of some shit yeah
you know i'm not talking about suits and stuff that you might wear once or two times a year of
course but i mean you know i just i have i've had a tent in my fucking storage it's moved with me
since 19 like 90 fucking seven i just gave it to a friend
of mine so she and her daughter can fucking have it i'm like you might want to air it out but it's
money i've never had a problem every time i've moved i've shed so when i moved here i came here
with two suitcases that's it and i still i mean now i've got furniture some furniture and stuff
like that but i was never messy and like like my kitchen's clean my fucking living room's clean like because i share those with a roommate so
it's like i'm never messy in public areas yeah it's just when then when i would like go into my
own shit it would be like that's where i would just like let it go you know and it was it's just
weird how it accumulated i didn't even notice that until it was like really bad and then
i was like talking to dr drew about i'm like yeah i think i'm like a hoarder maybe i don't know
am i i'm like i'm not like i don't have things but i definitely like am too depressed to clean
my room you know so yeah it was a relief and now i just have a person come over every other week
and clean it it's once i could get through that first step,
it's easy now.
You know what I'm saying?
Like to maintain.
Yeah.
It's easy to stay on top of shit.
And then once it gets a little too far out,
boom,
I do it like once a month,
maybe actually even a little longer for a woman to come do it or a man.
Someone I should,
I don't know.
It is the lady that comes in and cleans my place.
But yeah,
no,
I mean,
I hired somebody.
I'm like every other week, you know, it's a couple bucks,
and it just keeps it out of my brain, you know what I mean?
So I figure that's how I'll just keep it.
Like there's little scuff marks on the doors coming in
from people moving shit in and stuff, and I see it,
and I'm like, I've got to paint over that.
I'm like, why?
I'm trying to let it go.
Like, why?
That shit's not on camera.
What the fuck do I need it?
That's the beauty of me uh
being blind is missing my sense i really don't see those things i said that to drew i'm like
you know what happens when i when i see the mess i go where i don't have anymore
yeah exactly if i don't smell it it ain't a problem that's like ever you know i've never seen
um like a spider in the shower or anything like that and i always hear stories about that like oh my
god a spider in the shower and stuff and i'm just like i'm blessed with the taking off my eyes every
day when i go in the shower so i never see any of that i never see like i remember uh i went to
meet a girl at like a hotel and there was a roach in it and she was like so freaked out i was like
i would have never seen that fucking roach if you didn't point it out you told me about rpcs uh oh yeah i went to see any of those until the fans were
pointing it out until the hd camera i'm like oh man there were just bugs crawling around the whole
time weird didn't pick up on that i knew it was bad but i didn't know it was that bad
so did they ever
well I was going to ask you if they ever replaced you
at the radio station with another
you know you but then
the shit started to go away because all
the people started fucking up so much.
They did give somebody
my gig but I don't know how much
of the same stuff he's doing or whatever.
I mean by the end I was doing
a lot of different kind of things.
So I don't know what they gave him or whatever.
I'm sure they didn't even pay him as much as they were paying me.
You know, they love to fuck everyone over.
So my buddy today, he's been at the same station,
running the same station for 15 years in Des Moines,
and he just got let go like in three sentences in an email.
It's crazy just
fucking heartless after 15 years after putting his heart and soul in this fucking place for 15 years
it's my it's one of the things I dislike the least about our our business's morning radio
I know it used to be huge and I mean but getting up at fucking 4 30 or 5 o'clock to go talk to
some people that do that shit regularly
and try to be funny and energetic and all that.
And they're always in a small little closet
in some weird office building.
And you're walking the hallways
and there's nine other stations going on in there
at the same fucking time.
Being on the other side of that and then doing comedy.
I remember when Tom came in and did our show,
like twice he did it. That's how you met the first time i don't that's i met tom doing a weekend with him
at helium but then you know every time i'd work a weekend the headliner would wake up the next day
come do morning radio be all tired i'd have been there for three hours like hey how you doing you
want any walk coffee you know like that's they're like what do you what are you doing here so yeah
i did he did come in and i have a there's like if you go to like the bottom of my instagram to like
2013 or something i used to take a picture of every comic that would come in and post it or
whatever and there's like a picture of tom just standing there you could tell he like does not
want to be there you know nobody nobody did yeah and i'm and i used to like our show was great
because we understood that and
we try to make you know everyone comfortable or whatever but um now i go in and do morning radio
and it's like the opposite i'm like i can't fucking wait to see what hacks are up in this
yeah you i bet for you yeah it's like for me i'm like so i i i once heard i want to say it was
doug benson that i might have that, but who asked his audience one night,
how many people were here because you heard me on the radio and no one raised
their hands.
And he was like,
well,
fuck it then we're done with that.
What are we doing that for?
And I did a,
I won't say the venue,
but I did a show,
um,
not too long ago.
And I asked the same question and it was one lady who brought her husband.
And I was like,
what are we doing?
We're getting up at fucking five
o'clock in the morning we're all spending our time and effort to get to some of the depends
on the show too like they'll put you on a show that doesn't even make sense it's like
you know the people that are listening to this don't want to hear what i have to say
you know what i mean so some of them do make sense like we were a comedy show it made sense
to have the like a kevin and bean but even yeah exactly that's exactly what boy that's exactly what shred and reagan was and so um i
think you've done it actually and you know they would take it by phone too if the guys didn't
want to i think i did when i was doing my album i might have done a phoner for them yeah well i
totally did yeah yeah we talked about you yeah of course uh so you know we were we would recognize that and plus you know i was a comic
also so i knew these people um but here's the thing i'm down to do a phoner sure at my you know
whenever i can then play it whenever the fuck you want play it at 5 30 that's what we would do we
would tape them we would tape a bunch of phoners like that's eventually what it ended up becoming
and that got boring to be honest to like just you know you tape set interviews in
the afternoon and then the next day you're just showing up to like run a tape you know what i
mean and then you're just sitting there while it plays so you know it's just a weird i loved doing
it so much when i first started and then it just jaded me like you wouldn't believe dude and it
dug me into the ground and i was like i thought i was I was, I was done. Like, I'm like, I'm 31 years old at this point.
And I'm, it's not like things are getting better.
They're only getting worse.
And then thankfully I got to come out here and do this.
So right at that moment, it was like a parachute,
you know, opening up finally.
So that's the thing I love about comedy too,
is, you know, after all these years,
I'm still not jaded by, I'm, you bit, of course, but not jaded enough to hate it, not want to do it.
No, I don't think I could get jaded on it.
There's always new people coming in.
I'm always catching new shit online now.
I'm like, oh, fuck, that dude's funny.
That lady's funny.
This show's funny.
No, that's exactly true.
And the thing about radio that makes you jaded is just the corporate structure of it that beats you down and makes
you not feel any sort of value.
You know, that in comedy, it doesn't exist.
You get the value out of what you do.
So it's completely different.
And that's what I was doing.
I was doing comedy and radio and the radio was suffering because I was out every night
or on the road on the weekends and then coming back and just mailing it in essentially.
Because I just didn't i never even
when i was doing my best or hardest i wasn't getting any rewards from that if you got offered
a morning radio gig now would you take it fuck no fuck no unless it was like a like crazy amount
of money which it would never be you know what i mean i don't even think they give out six figure
salaries anymore i was gonna say not for terrestrial radio,
not unless it's massively syndicated.
I mean,
or you're Nick Cannon or something and you're doing that shit.
But yeah,
I mean like fucking Kevin and beam just got fired out of the,
I guarantee whatever they put on in that spot,
it's going to be for as cheap as fuck.
Yeah.
You know,
and it'll be dog shit.
And the guy will probably have
nine jobs probably also be like the more the music director the fucking production director you know
what i mean so yeah dude i i remember when i first came here too someone was like why don't you try
to get a radio job just to like bridge the gap or whatever and i was like they're not even gonna
hire me i would get a job as a production director, and I would make minimum wage probably
to run an entire cluster's worth of commercials.
Do you know what I'm saying?
It's not worth the squeeze.
Might as well go get a job at the fucking...
Do a civil service test or some shit.
It's a very telling decision because, as we all know,
this fucking business, comedy is there's no stability
here there's no it can be gone at any moment for any reason you know all of it and look at the
fucking virus yeah yeah every that's right a pandemic hits the world and there goes comedy
and that's not even something any of us were ever fucking even thrown into an equation of shit so
i'm thinking earthquakes were ruined shit physically and literally before a
virus shuts us all fucking.
Oh,
like the comedy store got crushed into major earthquakes.
You know what I mean?
Like that landslide.
Yeah.
That was more realistic to me than a pandemic or some Saudis bought it.
Yeah.
It's a parking lot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was,
that was way more realistic you know and then
boom the thing you think that's never going to happen happens so for you to take the leap out
of radio into comedy is very telling about what there was nowhere to go there was nowhere to go
i remember when i came out here and i got an office job i talked about on here that one time
where i didn't know what i was doing and i remember being kind of relieved going like hey i can still get a job in an office holy shit i thought that was well you know my resume is
fucking nude with a dude and fucking you know what i mean second place too yeah yeah didn't even win
that shit didn't even win it yeah i bet i could have won if i was if i was really in the contest
and it wasn't a wink and a nod i could have have got him out of there. I would have started, you know,
I would use the other guy's tactic,
started jerking off inside the sleeping bag.
So how much money would it take for you to do nude with a dude?
For how long,
how long do I have to be in there?
Well,
you'd have to,
the contest is,
is how long it's,
it's really contingent on how long he's going to be in there.
Well,
how,
what are you going to do to get him out of there?
And is he allowed to do whatever he wants in that bag?
You can do whatever you want. It's a fucking six a six-figure. That's going to be a six-figure
payday for Ryan Seacrest.
So it ain't going to happen. I mean, that's a knife fight.
You know what I mean? If anybody out there has got some money
and wants to put up a quarter of a million, I'll get in a
sleeping bag with a dude naked and I'll
promise you it'll get out before I get out.
I made $350 a week.
A week
before Tad.
Holy shit.
But hey, I was the one coming up with it.
I was like, let's do nude.
The onus
is on me. And now we're here.
We've graduated to Tit Cups.
Dick Cage on the way.
Please, can we talk about the Dick Cage when it happens?
I want to see it. I want to hear all about it.
You're going to get the whole fucking kitten caboodle.
I mean, I don't know how it's going to, it's just going to be like me going like, ow, ow, ow.
I don't know what the culmination, say I do get an erection.
It's going to just hurt.
I'd imagine the constraints would keep my erection down.
You know?
I don't know.
It's one of those like you're telling your kids don't do drugs and they're going to go do drugs.
And if I'm telling myself the whole time, don't get hard.
I'm probably going to get hard.
But even with the cameras and the lights and Tom, that may that may.
You know what I mean?
And it's also Christina keeps it cold in there, too.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, yeah, no.
Christina likes it warm, but we keep it cold.
She has a little heater
but uh no yeah so i mean i feel like i won't get an erection and it won't hurt and it'll just be
you know it'll be like when i can breeze through well look i know we got to get you out of here
you're going down to san diego to do some shows first show since the lockdown pretty much i did
uh i did a show for Black Lives Matter benefit.
Live?
It was on Zoom, but there were people.
It was at a facility, like at an actual venue,
and there were people there.
So that felt kind of like doing an open mic.
Like in the audience also as well as Zoom?
Yeah, so there were like 10 people there.
So I have that set,
but this is my first time doing a substantial amount of time.
In front of a live audience, right?
There's people in this.
Of course, yeah.
Was it 50 people or 50%?
I don't know the parameters.
I know that they're limited capacity.
Yeah.
But it's free.
Well, I'm so glad you came on, dude.
Thank you.
Thank you so much for having me, dude.
Of course.
Plug all your social media.
Yeah.
Twitter is at J underscore Potter.
Instagram is at Josh underscore Potter.
Subscribe to my Twitch. Watch me play fake sports.
I'm going to buy the fucking saber soon because I'm sick of it.
You're going to be a multi.
I'm sick of what Terry Pagula is doing with the sabers.
I got to save them.
I don't know anything about hockey contracts, but you can watch me navigate the waters.
And I guarantee I do better than fucking Terry Pagula.
I'm already built a dynasty with the bills.
So subscribe.
Watch all the sports since we don't have
them on regular TV.
And then if you want shoulder hair porn, you can
hit me up on Cameo. Cameo.com
slash Josh underscore Potter.
Now, tit cups are exclusively to
YMH, correct? People have requested tit
cups, but it's, you know what?
It is so painful and it is like those things, to take them all home tit cups, but it's, you know what? It is so painful, and it is like
those things, to take them all
home and stuff, they're at the studio.
It's such an undertaking. I've kept them off
my platform. And your
tits. Yeah, and my tits.
But for, you know,
if you have a crazy offer,
I might consider it. Okay, let's talk about it
right now, real quick. What's the offer?
I need a G. A grand? the offer i need a g a grand and
what do you what do they get for a gram i'm giving you five minutes you get five minutes of tip cups
they stay on i i'll do my best i'll put them on and off if i have to but honest to god these
fucking things dude it looks like you cannot keep them i mean i was trying to do that bit where i
did i don't know if you saw i did that video you You know all the actors in black and white. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Paul's like, I take responsibility.
Yeah, I take responsibility.
It was like, wow, thanks, Pinkman.
But I fucking did that video where I put him on for that.
Just to say my lines.
I couldn't even keep him on to say the lines.
Because it's that painful.
That painful.
I'd have to take breaks between the lines.
Because they're so, I don't know if I had them.
Well, y'all heard a grand.
A grand for Josh Potter to do Tick Cups for five minutes.
Yeah, and I'll do Nude with a Dude for free again.
All right, brother, thank you for coming on, man.
Thanks for having me, dude.
I appreciate it.
As always, Ryan Sickler on all social media, ryansickler.com.
We'll talk to y'all next week.