The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Kevin Ryan - KevinDew

Episode Date: December 4, 2023

My HoneyDew this week is comedian Kevin Ryan. Kevin Highlights the Lowlights of his parents divorce, his stepfather's passing, and not speaking to his own father for a decade. SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://youtube.com/@rsickler SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew What’s your story?? Submit at [e-mail] CATCH ME ON TOUR https://www.ryansickler.com/tour SUBSCRIBE to The HoneyDew Clips Channel http://bit.ly/ryansicklerclips SUBSCRIBE TO THE CRABFEAST PODCAST https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-crabfeast-with-ryan-sickler-and-jay-larson/id1452403187 SPONSORS: BetterHelp -The HoneyDew is sponsored by BetterHelp, get 10% off your first month at https://www.Betterhelp.com/HONEYDEW NextEvo -Go to https://nextevo.com and use promo code HONEYDEW to get 25% off! Rocket Money -Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to https://www.RocketMoney.com/HONEYDEW

San Francisco. I'll be back Friday, December 8th and Saturday, December 9th at Cobb's Comedy Club. It's the last stop of the Live and Alive Tour for 2023. Get your tickets at ryansickler.com. Hey, everybody. I have a special announcement to make. You may have heard me say this on my YMH episode, but I am starting a new podcast. It's going to be right here on this YouTube channel. It's called The Way Back. It drops Thursday, January 4th, and it will be a weekly pod every Thursday moving forward after that. All right. It's a nostalgia podcast. It's a short one, too. It's a quick hitter. No more than 30 minute episodes with some of your favorite guests in comedy and podcasting.

We already have a ton of them recorded. I'm very excited to do this. If you're a big fan of the crab feast, if you're a big fan of the honeydew, I know you're going to be a big fan of this show. It's just something I've always thought about, you know, and the set is the backseat of that old school station wagon facing traffic, looking that way. All right. It's the way back because we're sitting in the way back and we're looking back on things. And here's a fun teaser just to get you excited about the idea. Check this out.

It's the way back with Ryan Sickler right here on my YouTube channel every Thursday beginning January 4th. spray fire at my cousin. I got puked on. And her boob popped out. Broken fingers. Someone's going to die. Coke ecstasy, like everything. We used to call it the chastiser. I did not feel safe. Holy! Yeah, those were the days. That was a fun trip down memory lane. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to The Honeydew, y'all.

We are over here doing it in the Night Pant Studios. I am Ryan Sickler, ryansickler.com, Ryan Sickler on all your social media. And I'm going to start this episode like I start every episode by saying thank you. Thank you for your support. Thank you for watching, listening. If you're new here, if you've been here, I appreciate all of it. Make sure you subscribe, help out the show. And if you've got to have more than I'm telling you, you've got to check out the Patreon.

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All right. It's my old podcast. It's still thriving out there which blows me away so thank you feasternation um i love seeing all the crab feast fans still rep the merch come to the shows and stuff it was a great podcast it's all the same comedians you know and love for podcasting with different stories it's free it's out there now go subscribe to it it's audio only it's a really fun podcast um and if i am in town when you're around come see me on tour closing out the year cobs in san francisco december 8th and 9th that's it all right that's the biz and you guys know what we're doing over here we're highlighting

the low lights i always say these are the stories behind the storytellers and i'm very excited to have this guest on today first time here on the honeydew ladies and gentlemen kevin ryan welcome to the honeydew thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you for making time for us buddy i've been wanting to do it for years thanks for making time and i've all i've been on your show twice now i think we did a zoom during the pandemic the first time yep and i came to your beautiful fucking studio thank you fresh off back surgery stepped out of the bathroom and almost went right back into my fucking bathroom. You were like an old uncle that came in. Oh, watch that step out there.

I was a liability for sure. I was a walk of liability. The paint was still drying. I'm like, I don't think the fucking insurance policy is in effect yet. Sickler's going to jam us up. His L2 is fucking fractured over it. Please, before we begin plug promote everything and anything you would like uh are you garbage podcast wherever you get podcast um we're all

over the road the stay trashy tour it's a mix of uh me and h foley it's a mix of stand up and you know we play by g of the crowd we each go headline and then we let the crowd ask their garbage questions we shit on them for a half hour it's a good freaking time hell yeah that's good so You know, we play AYG with the crowd. We each co-headline, and then we let the crowd ask their garbage questions. We shit on them for a half hour. It's a good frickin' time. Hell yeah. That's good. So, RUgarbage.com for all live shows.

Social media. Social media, at Kevin Ryan Comedy on Instagram, Twitter, and RUgarbage on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok, and everything. Boom. Yeah. Well, dude, I'm stoked to have you here. Thanks. This is real first 48 vibes, dude. I feel like I'm in a fuckin' interrogation.

Do you? Dude, that door closes, and the vibes change it's good it's good but you're like we're out there all laughing i'm in here i'm like oh man they got me they got they know something i don't know i picture one of the producers just picked up a diet coke can that i was drinking earlier with a pen and he's like we got him that's it we got the bald one this is this is where it ends dude this is this is where you get me you're not it should have gone well if you're on this show okay should have not gone well in your life if you're doing this show um dude first of all i want to talk to you about because i want to know about where you from before we were just talking your last name's

ryan i said what is that iris you said yeah but then you said your mom my mom's a sullivan and my stepdad's a kelly so it's like i dirty shanty irish catholic trash through and through and where are you from here in the states from uh philadelphia originally mom's whole mom and dad's whole family there out of like and fifty people that are my aunts, uncles and cousins, a handful have moved out for work or like the military or something. But everybody's come back. Like when I moved to New York, people are like, well, you're going all the way to New York. All the way. It's 90 minutes, dude. It's 90 minutes.

And like my mom had been to New York like two times. And now it's only been like since I've been up there for a decade, she's come up twice. It's like we just don't. It's a very blue collar working family. Head down, drink a lot on the weekends and then weekdays. And, you know, it tends to become a problem for a lot of people. But we were living in Philadelphia. And then my dad was construction.

It's all blue collar, right? There's a couple of teachers, some cops, fire. It's like fucking Angela's ashes, dude. It's like, right. It's a stereotypical Irish Catholic tragedy you can get, dude. It's fucking. There's a couple of really smart people. But even then, like, I got a cousin.

He's so smart. And he's like covered in tattoo. Like, it's like even the smart ones are still got making dumb choices yeah yeah he's got like all of his kids names tattooed on his hands and he you're like what are you doing but um so it's like even that and so we my dad was a steam fitter like a hvac guy worked his way through it's all union everybody's a union contractor so guy worked his way through it's all union everybody's a union contractor so like worked his way through the union and started his own company made a couple of bucks because my mom was one of nine her dad was a cop and like there was like 11 people living in like a two bedroom house in kensington philadelphia kensington is now that neighborhood

you see or like all the crap all the dope fiends are out on the street. It's like open air drug market. That's where my, that's where the origin story of Kevin Ryan. That's where the Ryan story. That's where it started, dude. That's my whole family is from Kensington.

Like that's it. It's like, it's that, that is. And there's so many of us and so many. We have a guy, somebody you need construction. You need a car. You need this.

You need tickets to an event. You need parking down there. We know a cop. Call up, you know, call up Steve Gallagher. Hold parking right around the back with the whatever. I'm like, my cousin says we're like the Kennedys without the money. Like there's, you know, there's a hundred of us. Some died in a bad accident somewhere along the way but um so my dad made a couple of bucks

and moved out like from the inner city to like still in the city but on the outskirts a little bit and then made a little bit more money and got us into the suburbs okay i guess when i was like three or four or so and then uh he was just not great with money. It's like, you know, he started doing the business, started doing well. And I guess he's never ran a business. So it's like there was huge influxes of money that he was like, this is my money. And you're like, no, that's got to go to pay for the materials and stuff. You know what I mean?

So like he would get new cars and then like a house up the mountains and then like that was getting sold two years later. And then like the cars were getting repoed in the middle of the night. Like that real new money shit. Like no idea how to handle it. And they got divorced when I think I was, I don't even remember.

The first, the only memory I have of them together is them telling me they're getting a divorce. Nuh-uh. Yeah, it's the only memory. Hold on, dude. I swear to God. the only memory I have of them together is them telling me they're getting a divorce. Nuh-uh. Yeah, it's the only memory. Hold on, dude. I swear to God. The only memory you have of your parents together is them sitting you down to tell you they're getting a divorce.

It's over. It's a wrap. We did it. We tried the best we could do. That's the only thing I got, dude. I swear to God. Nobody believed, because that's the end of a movie. That's it. That's terrible. That out of a movie. That's it.

That's it, dude. That's it. And I remember they like sat me down. And I'm like real squirrely and kind of cold emotionally. I keep it all in. No wonder why. This kid had a rough start. You fucking slide in with your big wheel and you're like they're like listen kid it's a wrap on this

shit yeah it was they sat me down and i remember being like we got to talk to you were you in a restaurant were you at home where were you did they get you to mcdonald's and try to help now now and they wanted i have an older brother and an older sister and they wanted to separate us because i i didn't really have an understanding of it if i you know i think i was four whatever that it was we divide and conquer bro yeah they were like well let's get him out of the way because he's not going to understand it god you were first do you know that i was first yeah so i well then i i i called set up i knew so i was like why the fuck aren't they here i said go i want to talk to i was like we don't this isn't right you don't sit me down

both of you something's how old are you because you're about four when you get to the suburbs i'm four when we moved to the suburbs right it was right away they built their dream house i all built all you know like the theory of like oh we're gonna live together sounds like my fucking family the business is prosperous my favorite house yeah and like my mom's still in that house like she kept that house um as a testament to her as a single mom she was like i'm not my kids because we were in such a good school district she's like i'm not giving up this house like i learned the i learned the term house poor when we when i was like seven i'm like can we get this she's like honey we're house poor like all the money goes to keeping you in this house and keeping you in this school so we don't

have to go back to the open air drug market right yeah um so they were telling me and i call i felt the vibes weren't good and i was like why aren't danny and sarah here and my mom's like oh we want to talk to you i'm like no go get like so my dad's like all right just fucking oh really just go get them yeah i was like this is too weird for you what do we do we've never done this before to be able to do that yeah so they brought them down and they reacted horribly because they were like eight and nine or something like that so they were like devastated my sister's like hitting my dad you know it's like they reacted how normal and i was just like it didn't i'm like i don't fucking care and then my dad was like does anybody want to come with me today and i was like what are you

nuts what's that mean like i don't know i don't know i guess like where are you going you're right now you're going yeah he's like he was leaving and he's like i guess he would already move i don't know i don't really remember but he was like does anybody want to come with me today and we were like i was like dude get the you're gonna bring me out of this fucking dope ass house with all my toolies and shit like to go live in a fucking motel room for three weeks i'm like no way dude i'm like we're staying here um also it's interesting that as young as you guys are your parents didn't make that decision and say you're gonna stay with mom in this house so he's like sure uh step forward if you want to come with

me it was real like who's going who's gonna make a move you know what i mean i was like i ain't fucking going nowhere dude this freezer's full of nuggets in here i don't know where the fuck you're taking me but we got it pretty made in a nugget from kensington you know what i'm saying we got a nugs we got it pretty made in the shade in this cushy ass big house in the burbs. So then, yeah, I think they kept it together surface level. Do you know the reason they divorced? Was it just they didn't get along or was there some shit going on? You don't have to share.

Yeah, I don't. I tend to protect the innocent in a lot of. Fair enough. That's what I was going over. I'm like, what story is going to tell me? Well, that kind of fucking throws that guy under the bus that throws iron to the buzz that ain't great um but i honestly don't truly know all of the details and that's like another thing about uh my family is like it's a don't ask don't tell you know if i can repress keep your head down just keep fucking you gotta get up and go to work that's the only thing work go work go

work it's work it's work and then drink beers at happy hour that's all my family did for a long time and now as we get older and like my brother my sister myself get a little more you know or more emotionally intelligent and stuff like that we are having really good conversations with my mom that like i never had in the past i was like um so that's great um so your dad leaves nobody goes with him nobody goes with him and then what's your relationship with him like from that it was really good does he stay close he stays close he stayed like 10 minutes away maybe like like he was in the area and did you go to his place and stuff from time to time yeah they had it split we're like i i i you know i have to give to him he. He was just like, I'm not not seeing my kids.

And he was great in my life all the time. So it was like Monday, Tuesday was with my mom. Wednesday, Thursday was with my dad. And then Friday, Saturday, Sunday would flip-flop every week. Bro, that's the 223 I have with my daughter right now. That's what I have right now with my daughter's mother, my 223 schedule. I didn't shake me really at all. It was close. you're ready yeah that's what i have right now it's great mother my 223 schedule i i really okay good shake me really at all it was close and she's known that from even before she's one when

we split so she didn't have to be like hey call everybody in for this fucking bullshit meeting yeah she's it's not it's what she's which is what she knows and it's also at the same time like like i said i didn't know them together right so like my only my first memory of them is going this is what we're doing right he wasn't really around a whole lot at the time anyway they weren't like what would your mom do for a living my mom was retired like there was like an influx of cash i think like on paper you said retired in my mind your He retired. Your dad's dating like a 68-year-old. She had me old. At 40. She was just a house wife, you know what I mean?

He sold the construction car. It's all hairy. No one, at this point now, when I start asking questions a decade later, two decades later. Listen, when I heard you say he was in construction, we knew it was shady already. Yeah. We knew there was some shady biz going on.

It was like, I think he had retired. I'm just going to do this on the side. I have enough money coming in for the next 10 years. I think there was some sort of buyout structure or something like that. I don't really know. But then when they got divorced, that all went belly up. And I think the company that he was with kind of went belly up as well. So we had to like go.

We had to start over at, you know, in his 30s again with three kids divorced. And my mom had to go back to work. My mom worked as a lab tech in hospitals and she worked third shift. So like she would leave at three and get back at like midnight or 1 a.m. or whatever. So we were like raised it was my brother myself and my sister in that house like i mean you know fighting and fucking there was no i was i feel like i've been on my own since six like it was just like go my brother's like i'm going out with my friends i'm in the house i'm skateboarding out from doing so i felt like i was just there was very little oversight looking back.

Yeah. And my dad, like the blue collarness and like I have it now where it's like I don't want that to become my life of like they live to work. They live to work. And like I watched it drive them crazy. I watched they live and die by what happened that day. And like there's no separation of life. Like there was no like big vacations or anything. It was like we would go down the Jersey Shore.

That's where every dirtbag from Philly goes. Yeah. Maryland is Ocean City. Yes, we would. But you're going for a week. We would go a few days. You're not going. You're not day tripping, at least like you do Pacific Ocean.

No, no, no. You're going back. We're not day tripping at least like you do Pacific Ocean. No, no, no. You're going back. We would go get a motel. Yeah. It would be my mom and my aunt, my mom and my aunt, who was also divorced or remarried. We'd get one motel room for fucking 12 of us. Yeah. Yeah.

Two beds. Two beds. Double beds. 15 kids fucking, you know what I mean? They'd give us, there'd be 15 kids. They'd give us like 20 bucks and they go go on the boardwalk for seven hours like feed i was the youngest they were like make sure he's fed don't get any fistfights like protect him if he cut if you don't come back with

him do not come back at all yeah um so but even then like we would go down for like two or three days my dad like i gotta go back to work like he would drive up and drive. And I'm like, just fucking. It was, it consumed a small bit. Like, it consumed the family. As, like, same thing with my stepdad when my mom got remarried. Construction worker. Owned his own construction company. Consumed the family.

I guess my mom has a type. I was about to say, bro. She likes to go to smurfs. Irish construction workers. Yeahish construction workers yeah yeah yeah so wait when uh how long for your mom gets remarried i don't know man um like how old are you when you remember him coming around young maybe like three years like she didn't you know there was nobody and then this is the only she met this guy like there was no like dating there was no like you know revolving door of dudes coming in.

It was just him. And he was great. He was really good. But like also very same thing, like Irish Catholic construction worker, drink and smoke and family that it's like there's no real emotional expression at all. Like for the longest time, we were referred to as Denise's kids. That's terrible. For like 20 years. 20 years.

You're an adult. We were Denise's kids. You're a grown man. I'd be sitting there smoking cigs with them. Denise's kids are over there voting right now. I'd be 26. I'd come home from New York. I'm trying to be a comedian.

I might be like having a cig and like a guy that he knew was like, oh, this is Denise's kid. You know, Denise's youngest. That's what it was. So it was very like him. Never Kevin. It would be this is Kevin, Denise's youngest. You know what I mean? Like I always came.

Yeah. It was always preface was this motherfucker ain't mine. I don't fucking know him. I ain't never met this guy. Listen, if he fucks up, talk to Denise. Talk to Denise. Talk to Denise. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But he was very loving, but like not, it was just didn't, couldn't express it type thing. You know what I mean? It was always there for us if we needed. Did your dad and your stepdad get along? In the sense of, let's keep it copacetic for the kids you know what i mean like that professional professional it's a professional thing and also like your dad and mom a little more than professional or professional professional okay it was professional it was you know i'm sure they had fights not in front of us yeah it was never the the drop-offs were always whatever it

was fine or like they would come to games you know if there was like some sort of bigger game or something um i was always i give them that it was never in front of us ever uh and they would do like a good tag team if need be if like myself or my brother or my sister were acting up it was like we they were a united front in the parenting uh and my dad my dad was great was like, you know, again, like when he wasn't working, it was like very, he was there or at least around, you know, he was very engaged. Did he remarry? He remarried and then got redivorced. So I have two younger brothers with him that I'm 10 years older and 16 years older. Wow.

And my sister's like 16 years older and 21 years older than my two half brothers. Got it. So it was, but like my sister at that point was already out of the house and it was really just me. Like they were in college or working or whatever. So it was really just me. I was in high school or whatever when they were born.

But like, he was good. My dad, my dad was great. Like great like never you know we never wanted for anything he was always there was he was very supportive of a lot of stuff but then as we got older when we were in like business together like wait you went into business with your dad yeah after he had already broken up his family with this like he he was working with his four brothers none of them talk anymore and then he came to my brother i'm gonna go right to my immediate my kids got it you know what i mean so like it was me my dad and my brother and that was and it was a construction business construction tight money like you know trying to cover payroll are you doing like buildings are you doing decks no what are you doing? It was commercial mechanical contracting.

So like heating, air conditioning, plumbing, and stuff like that for like, you know. And is it the Ryan? Is it Denise's sons? Denise's boys. Denise's boys. Yeah, that's what he called us. These are Denise's boys. Man, that's a good, that's my first album.

Denise's boy. I just made my special lefty son. Yeah, that's true good that's my first album denise's boy i just made my special lefty son denise's boys man yeah um so uh that's when it got bad got bad between me and my brother it got bad between my brother and my dad me and my dad and that's kind of when it all fell apart um other than that it was what were the issues like stress who's in charge who's you know it's like you got three fucking lunatics in a room in an office this big and there's the money's tight and you're like what the you know everybody's screaming and hooting and hollering that goes back to like you asked if me and foley fight and we do and like we were talking like back to like you asked if me and foley fight and we do

and like we were talking like i express myself by yelling at somebody and i don't necessarily mean it but i'm like there's emotion i gotta get it out let's yell at each other for 20 minutes until we go okay i gotcha so that's it was that but it's very well my brother says hey fuck face i don't walk away and be like you're not gonna talk to me like that i turn around yeah that's oh i'm like what the fuck oh he's got something he wants to say yeah yeah so it's that's where it's very like uh listen yeah like well i'm listening all right you got my attention it's uh it was very that man and it still is i had so like my mom was like listen i've seen this business ruin families like two of multiple families right here under our circle. You know what I mean?

She's like, I do not want fuck. And this is a testament to how great my mom is. She's like, I do not want fucking Thanksgiving to be weird between my two sons. And she's like, do not. And I was I was the second one in. My brother had already been doing it. So I was like, I'll,

I'll bow out if I feel like this is getting to not, if it's going to change how we are in the future. And then like, we ended up fist fighting a couple of times,

me and my brother, as adults, as business, as business, as co-workers.workers these boys are fighting god damn denise's boys suck can't take them nowhere fighting at the god damn whole land waiting on three forklifts these guys are over here like can we just sign the contract we're fighting in the parking lot who's got the paycheck for fucking fist fight so how did it when's the first time it came the

blows what happened i mean it did all obviously all through childhood yeah because i'm bigger i've always i was always bigger even though you're younger you've been here we were like i was a bigger kid i was a fatter bigger kid so like we were the same weight and you know and i'm a i you know as a comedian it's like i'm a sharp-tongued i can fucking i know what hurts you and i'll get there quick type thing and he's got a itchier trigger finger than i have so it was like he'd say something i'd snipe him once or twice he'd get you know in his yeah he'd be like who the fuck you talking i'm like i'm not fucking afraid of you and then we you know so it. We were also drinking a lot together.

I was like, he was I was like, I was probably like 23 or 24. He was like 27. We had like the same group of friends. We're hanging out with our cousins. So like we'd work. There was no separation of church and state at that point. It was like, all right, hey, we're leaving work. We're gonna go shower. We're gonna meet everybody out to go drinking.

And it's like, you know, when you're that young and dumb and you're adding booze, that much alcohol to it and tensions are high, it'll just just spilled over at some irish pub in philly for the five years pub we are such fucking third base is that really where it was it was called the irish pub dude i'm just putting this together now we are such irish trash all right denise's boys are at it again they They're at the Irish pub. Which one? The Irish pub. That's the name.

It's not even like fucking, you know, McGrady's Irish pub. It's just the Irish pub. Yeah. Oh, God. Man. Generational Irish trash. It's just losing your shit on each other. Oh, and it's like i don't even know what's said at all it was probably like i called him a pussy because he didn't do a shot of you know jameson

or something so then it just got heated i also wanted to get more into guys i had just started doing comedy so i'm like all right i want to get into it a little bit more um so i uh i was like i'm paul i'm bowing out that this was the last one you know what do we do we got three fistfights in two months like yeah this ain't this ain't great so i bowed out and you know it kind of jolted our relationship a little bit because it was like you know uh it wasn't it was abrupt like we didn't see it ending that way like we you always think you're the exception of the rule you're well, my dad and his brothers fought. My stepdad and his brothers fought.

My uncle's fallen. It's not going to happen to us. And then sure as shit, a year later, we're like, we didn't even stay. We didn't even make it a year, dude. You know what I mean? So that hindered our relationship a little bit. Just like we weren't as close. We also weren't working together.

We weren't hanging out as much. I was really focused on comedy at the time. So he's just left with your dad now so he's just left with my dad and they don't dissolve the business they're gonna keep running they're gonna keep going because it's been working so well just denise's boy now they crossed the s off the fucking off the vans i mean y'all had vans that's big yeah that's a van we had do we had a fucking this we had this green Dodge Ram 2500 or something with jacked up we bought it a used extended one extended that's the kind we used to use for like wrestling they would take like two of those yeah take us around blue ones like YMCA camp van yeah yeah yeah but this was like the this was the pickup

version this is a huge pickup version we called it Green Monster, and this thing was in the shop every three hours, dude. And we would put such an illegal size load of whatever we were putting on it. It was like, if it wasn't hanging six feet off the back of that bed, we weren't even trying. What are you doing? What are we doing? You're not even working. Why did you even get your boots on? We weren't even trying. You know what I mean? What are you doing? What are you doing? You're not even working. Why'd you even get, why'd you even put your boots on?

We ain't taking two trips. That's for damn sure. That's Denise's boy's motto. That's the motto. And the famous last words. I'm for the fucking thing. We ain't making two trips. We ain't coming back, baby.

That and the famous last words of Denise's boys construction company was shaking something on the back of the truck and going, that ain't going nowhere. Next thing you know, you're on 95 South fucking running down the shoulder. Dude, that happened to me. Oh,

you're making me a flashback right now. So we used to go crabbing with my dad. love we just did it a couple weeks ago in the jersey shore i love crap we used to go crabbing and we made our own trot line we had a 100 yard trot line that we would run and we had a nice uh bass boat little john boat aluminum and we would take we go to the y river in maryland wye the-E, the Wye River, and we drop the bull lips. It's all bull lips we're using for bait. We drop it in. We crab all day.

But my dad had made this rig that a friend of his showed him where you take out the eye holes for the oars. You put like a two-by-four across with bolts that go in, so they go in. Sure. And then you have a spool, a rope spool at the end and that's when you just pick it up and as you move through it gently comes up and down right so we're driving home we're you know it's an early day you're getting up at like four in the morning you're getting down there it's an hour and a half drive you want to get right on the water when the sun's up and we're driving home and i'm sleeping in the back seat and i hear my dad

holy shit oh my god ryan and just i have two brothers ryan ryan yeah ryan i go what the fuck he goes the whole two by four thing flew up out of the boat it's all over the highway go get it i said what are you talking about go get it it's no it's interstate 50 yeah the car is shaking he's like be careful he's just up there to go be careful he ain't coming out to help no one's coming and i'm out there dragging all the piece the whole thing's being run over and shattered i was like holy fuck jesus christ dude it's we towed our boat with the 1979 dodge aspen station wagon bro we towed our boat with a station wagon limited edition tinted windows wood panel dude if you're launching a boat with tinted windows and a station wagon you're having a good day yes this is for your are you garbage people that same station wagon was one of my cousin's wedding limos

that was her wedding limo they pulled and then when we turned 16 my dad's like i'll buy that fucking thing let these let these boys drive a big old station wagon around and get used to it yeah damn so funny ever have an early meeting fall on a monday morning if you have then you know that Damn. So funny, dude. developed a proprietary water-soluble form of CBD clinically tested multiple times, which has proven to work faster and absorb four times better. So you can stay calmer or sleep better during this stressful time of year. I've noticed that after a long day of working at the studio or even traveling on tour, NextEvo CBD is great for helping me relax and unwind quicker. It's not well known, but CBD isn't actually an oil, but other companies often dissolve it in oil because it's a cheap and easy way to make products like tinctures and gummies.

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subscriptions stop wasting money on things you don't use cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocket money.com slash honeydew. Rocketmoney.com slash honeydew. Now, let's get back to the do. All right. So, brother, Denise's son. We're all very close, except my dad. So, Denise's son. Denise's boy is now working with his dad.

Is now working with dad. That goes south shortly after. I can imagine. Maybe a year and even then. And I'm in the middle of it because it's like they're not talking to each other. But is your brother starting to lean more toward you now? Like, man, it's opening back up. Are you repairing your relationship?

It was never bad. It just wasn't what it was. We're so close. This is what I love about especially Irish families. You say it was never bad. You had three fist fights. Very bad where I come from. What are we doing? In a year.

In a year. In a year. Not in your lifetime. In a year. It was a rough year. Quarterly. We were having quarterly fistfights. We were facing a recession. Copper prices were through the roof. Margins were low. Those junkies down in Kensington

are robbing us blind. Can't keep it on a truck. That ain't going nowhere until Crackhead fucking pulls it all off. Famous last words, man. Oh, God, dude. And you never feel more confident when you have a cig in your mouth

and you're shaking. I ain't going nowhere. Hop in. We're good. So then it goes south with them. And I was trying to mediate it a little bit, you know, and it didn't. It didn't work. Then they that was the last I was on the phone with my dad trying to figure it out.

And it's also like you call me in to be the mediator. The guy, you know, the guy who's already, you know already escorted off the property. Three physical assaults. And that didn't... You know who he should call? Kevin up there, man. Kevin's got a real level head. It's one of Denise's boys, the youngest one. Denise's youngest boy.

But I do have a thing that me and my brother are closer because of that exchange like i guess that's the only way we know how to we knew how to do it at the time we're way better but it's like that's just yeah that's what you grow up knowing and how everything is dealt with yeah that's why i'm terrible at arguing and i've tried to get better at it i can't get it i can't come out of the gate with like shut the fuck up and listen to me because that's not going to let people listen. Yeah, nobody listens. Nobody listens.

You immediately offended everybody in the room. Yeah. But so then, yeah, and then that was honestly the last conversation I had with my dad was on the phone. Really? And that was in fucking what year is it now, man? That was probably three. Yeah is it now man that's probably three yeah it was probably 2013 yeah you haven't communicated at all in 10 years i saw him at a wawa not too long ago that is so fucking and i fucking iced him we walked yeah we walked right by each other he saw

you he's great yeah and we were like i was like i was like did he say your name no just fucking i was like you wanted i was like let's see who's it was a game of chicken i'm like let's see who crazy how what was your when did you realize he was in there when you were did you see when i was walking out and i saw him getting out of the car of the wawa and you walk right and i was just like well let's see you know i you know i was nervous like i'd be lying if i said I wasn't like, oh, my God. Like, obviously, yeah, it's your father. You know, anybody that close to you for your whole life and a charge of emotions comes up and I'm like, what do I do? Do I hug?

I want to just honestly at the bottom, I just want to just fucking hug him and be like, I love you. You're my dad. But we're hardheaded Irish yaks. Yeah. But also like so many of us have had to be the parents in our relationship yeah like that's a moment right there where a parent should just be like i don't give a fuck if you're a grown man you would think yeah this aside like let me go get my fucking mto sandwich real quick i'm gonna get my coffee and then we'll fucking we'll have a seat and we'll

have a talk look at the truck or whatever you know what i mean but that didn't you know that didn't happen and uh i talked to my mom about i tried a year ago you said this is maybe two years ago two years ago and he never texted or tried to reach out after that like hey man not after that no there was one call of in the middle where i was like you know i kind of found out who i was like you you know, I was realizing who I was as a person, as a man, probably around the, you know, early 30s, mid late 20s or whatever. I was in New York. I was work comedy was going like, OK, I was making headway at least of like, you know, and I'm like, oh, I am who I am. And I started dating my now wife. And I was just like, you know, just trying to, like, make sense of who I am and everything. I was just like you know just trying to like make sense of who i am and everything i was like you know what i gotta fucking i think i texted him on father's day

happy father's day and then i think he called me and uh i was at work i couldn't answer and i called him back and we spoke for like a couple of minutes and it was very like hey when you're back he's like i hear you're in new york you know kind of just gave him like a rundown so he's never seen or you don't know if he's ever seen you live um i think he might have saw me live once when i was living before this like when i first started but not since you oh no no no no no or that you know of no i think he's the type of dude that would buy a ticket slip in the back watch never say anything i don't think so i think he knows like when we go back to philly i think he knows that's like behind enemy lines like my all my moms like like i said they're one of nine i have like 35 first cousins just on that side so it's like they all come and like everybody's so

we're so all so close everybody's so supportive so like i think he'd be my he knows like my mom's going and he doesn't talk to my brother or my sister so it's like i think he'd be he might he knows like my mom's going and he doesn't talk to my brother or my sister so it's like i think he knew he would know it's like so it's not just you he's not no he don't tell you he talks to like three people left i think i don't even know you know i know he doesn't he's got a rough had a rough relationship with his brothers and friends how old is he now late 60s probably you know anything about him you were sorry i interrupted you said after that interaction or non-interaction you talked to your mom about and she was like listen you know she's

like i've been with this you know i've i've been through the ringer with this with him you know she's like i i don't want you i she's like i'm so happy you talk to him i just also i don't want you to get hurt like don't get your hopes up she's like i think you'll realize that relationship is what you make it like not don't wait for him to text and like she's like if you're okay with you reaching out when you come home and you go get a beer with them or whatever she's like that's great and i kind of did the test i was like you know what i'm not gonna i'm not gonna reach I'm not going to reach out. I'm going to see. When he reaches out and he never did.

So I'm like, all right, you know, but yeah, it's tough. I don't know. We were so close and he was a great dad. It's like you did it. I'm like, I'm like, you fucking idiot. You did all the hard work. I'm saying you can't. Don't mother fucker. You just spent all the money.

He'll pay for college. You fuck. He was there all the time. I can't say really one bad thing about him raising me then. But now I'm like, you know, it's like... Running a business. Running a business with the boys.

Ain't great. With Denise's. With Denise's boys. It's not even his kids. They're not even his kids. In the joke, his sons aren't his sons it's denise's boy all right so tell me go ahead sorry yeah but in that my stepdad's around i was just about to say tell me about your relationship with your stepfather so you meet him pretty young pretty young seven eight you know something like that and around there i'm so bad this show like doing

are you garbage now has made me go back and look at my life through a different lens of you know what all these things and hearing your stories and stuff like that i'm like oh shit like it's a sparks all these synapses start going like i forgot about that and i think i might have been like a sociopath as a kid like i'm not emotional like foley my co-host is so emotional it's like so i could if i could do this and get back and all of this and that i'm like fucking serial killer like it's in there but i do it's like it goes back to that thing of like don't revel in the problem fucking put your head down grab a six-pack on the way home from work and fucking on to the next day. There's a there's a job to be done. The car has to move forward.

I think so. It's like I remember my dad being like, yeah, we don't have time to like. Yeah, we're at a funeral, whatever it is. You don't have to like fucking move on. And you're like, fuck, you know, which now I'm like realizing there's a shit ton of fucked up emotions in me that I've never looked at over the past fucking 37 years. Welcome to the honeydew. Yeah,'s tough it's tough i used to think i'm like my parents divorce never affected me once and then i got like a real serious relationship and i'm like oh it's like well then my relationship now with my wife is my first like really true

she said i need you to sit down i gotta tell you something like oh i was like this yeah this ain't good um but do you remember i was having a conversation with her we were fighting about money it was before the podcast took off and god bless we'll get back to my stuff that i said but god bless her she moved in from germany she's german she moved from germany to the u.s to be with me i had no money oh wow no money she moved there she moved here three days later i checked my debit card, and I miscalculated my checking account statement, and I was like $2,800 in the hole due to fucking overdraft charges. Overdraft charges. D.D. Beck, don't fuck around.

It's their money, and they want it now. For them motherfuckers, J.G. Wentworth. And I remember sitting there like i'm such i'm like this woman just uprooted her life and moved here to be with me so i could chase my stupid dream of comedy i have no money comedy probably made me 800 bucks last year like and i'm sitting here looking down the barrel three days later of and i told her i was like i can't do this i'm like if you want to leave leave i'm like i wasn't able to make it three days and I'm in more debt than I've ever been in my life. But she's been great. And but we were talking to her one time, we're talking about money. And it's that anger thing. I was sitting there and she's like, well, I try to live in like this. We'll figure it out. Work. You just I just

keep moving forward. Don't stop and look at the problems. And she's like, but how are you going to do this? And I'm like, I don't know. We were fighting and look at the problems. And she's like, but how are you going to do this? And I'm like, I don't know. We were fighting. And I was just like, I wanted to. She made me spaghetti. And I wanted to throw the spaghetti. I was just so frustrated.

And there's nowhere. And I wanted to throw the plate of spaghetti against the wall. And I'm like, man, you can't come back from that. The second that. In your house, you can. No, even then, it might be. I don't know. Even in your house you can't no even then that might be i don't know even in my house growing up be like who's cleaning that up you just broke a dish you're gonna have to steal one from the diner now mom see he's an asshole i've been telling you

but it was one of those of like fuck and that those kind of moments make me realize of like oh i do have crazy anger and you know volatile emotions that i need to uh to work on but um all that my stepdad was involved at a distance through all of that like while my dad was raising us and you know co-parenting with my mom or whatever my stepdad was there like kind of in the background when we were really young he was great like he i mean he was dude he was a fucking he was from the suburbs like born and raised in the suburbs when they was like country so he was like a hick like cowboy boots dude he drove he built and drove stock cars no shit uh as like a hobby with

like his hillbilly boys where like that was their weekend they'd go down and they all their money with a tinker and then he'd go race and crash right away and be like ah next week we're gonna get him that motherfucker never finished a race never dude smoked winston's drank whore's lights like the cool and he'd be like oh i got a boat he's like i have a wave runner because he was like this he was like he was making some money and he was guy, no kid. He's calling a wave runner a boat? No, he had a boat and a wave runner. Okay, let's hold on. He's a two-seater. Let's bump the brakes.

Crabbing off the back of the Kawasaki. Just fishing all the... Drive, drive. But he was great. He was really great. He was like, you know, if my mom was jordan he was pippin he was like in the back not in the limelight was like i'll step in when i need to step in he very rarely ever tried to uh like discipline us like he really knew his role in that of like

because he knew like if we would fight back or something it could get to my day he knew i'm not making this any messier than it already is they have a pretty good working system i'll fall back and you know i'm just here to play with denise yes i'm just yes i'm with den Denise's new husband. I'm Denise's new husband. That's all I am. And I'm hanging out here, all that other mess with these dirtbag kids. Let them figure that out with their dad. I'll be in Charlotte. Yeah, I'll be in Charlotte.

Cars are running this weekend. We're going to be down there in Flemington. We're going to Flemington, New Jersey. That's where he would race, Flemington, New Jersey. Man. But he was great loved him he was fantastic all through uh all through childhood then uh it we once I got a little older we would bump heads a little more kind of thing and it was also because like me and my brother were fucking idiots you know and it's like oh fuck you know fuck you like we were so close to my dad like yeah you're not my dad and my dad. And then we never said that, but it was kind of like sometimes,

like, shut the fuck up, get out of here. Like, I'm doing whatever the fuck I want to do type thing. And then he got sick. They were like cowboys. Dude, he was like, you couldn't fucking kill him and his brothers and his dad. They had, like, cancer, like, between three of them, like, 15 times. No. Dude, he got diagnosed with stage 4B lung cancer.

What is that? There's a B on it? Well, it's like you're right at five. I've never even heard of a letter on it. They were like, there's nothing we can do. It's a wrap. There's genuinely nothing we can do. Like, fuck.

And this was seven years ago, something like that. We're like, what the fuck, man? This is crazy. And then it just healed itself. just i swear to god dude it just all the cancer just like he did radiation and shit like whatever but like they were like we'll try but like we're really just buying some time here this is inoperable there's nothing we can do and he lived and it just one day the doctor went in there was like he's like it's all just now scar tissue like it's there's no cancer left in your lungs it's just scar tissue i've never heard anything like that either nobody did nobody did we were like what the fuck we're like what the

fuck is this so then he gets back on the heaters obviously like he feel he's a fucking bionic man he can't hold this guy back what are you talking talking about? He's back on the heaters. And this is when it's like, we're smoking. I'm smoking. So we're at family parties. And at that point, my mom's like, everybody's done fucking smoking. No more smoking. But then it's like, because of him.

She's like, I'm not going. Was she smoking as well? No, no. But me, my brother, and my stepdad were. And he's like, it was bad. It was raw. Like he was doom and gloom. The radiation was the hair.

It's, you know, I mean, it's, you know, a lot of people know it's not a pretty fucking scene. But he weathered the storm. So then we're like, all right, we're, you know, he starts smoking. We're smoking. We're like hiding behind cars and shit. A family party is fucking. Oh, here she comes. Here she comes. Hold these for me. Like, you know what starts smoking something we're smoking we're like hiding behind cars and shit at family parties fucking oh here she comes hold these for me like you know what i mean real fucking and like you feel bad i'm like but it's also like it was this weird way we bonded you know what i mean we'd be at a family party and you're like we didn't talk that much it was a

very quiet dude like head down just did his own thing so like you'd make eyes with him at the at the party i'm like yeah let's go and i'm like i'm you know it was like the way i we bonded and talked and you would get some conversation of like how's comedy like that's when we so i felt bad i'm like man i'm giving this guy fucking sigs she would get smoke breaks with him yeah get smoke breaks with him get to learn more about him yes that was that was the extent of our real like communication and dialogue was over cigs and beer and then um then he had some liver issues like two years ago you know due to just smoking and drinking a lot uh beat that beat that the doctor's like yeah these numbers are insane that you're reporting that like they

were like whatever the stat was it was like most people are at 10 you're a 1 wow and then it was like oh you know you're a 9 you're you're at 11 it was like he was back to normal thing it was like doom and gloom it was like that was it again i'm like you can't fucking kill this guy and then he got can't he got lung cancer again right after that and was like ready to fight it and was like, I'm going, you know, because he couldn't drive. So he made the choice not to fight it? No, he's like, I'm fighting it. He's like, I'm strapped in.

He's like, let's fucking go. Like, you can't get me. We're doing this. And this was in the beginning. This was the end of last year. How old was he? He was young man he uh uh fucking 50 in his 50s 58 maybe something like that young he was younger than my mom and uh he was like i'm ready and like

he because he couldn't drive afterwards so we had to get him like he was going to take uber like he got a car service of like okay um because he had to drive like 90 minutes or something my mom's like i can't make it every day and he didn't want another burden on my mom so he's like they got a car service of like okay um because he had to drive like 90 minutes or something my mom's like i can't make it every day and he didn't want another burden on my mom so he's like i got this car service that's going to drive me monday wednesday and friday back and forth whatever whatever um and then right before he just woke up in the middle of the night coughing bad and then passed at the house like pretty immediately yeah they were like yeah my mom called 9-1-1 the cops had come you know the ems came and they worked on him there for a little bit and just didn't couldn't get him um so he he passed and then just like as as fucking stupid as

we are we're at his for his luncheon like we we go for the funeral and then we go to like the luncheon to his favorite bar. Like, you know, this is how we're going to honor this guy who's, you know, essentially they don't smoke and drank himself. They don't do the Irish. No, no. I want I want to go. I want that. Yeah.

I want to be on a pool table. I learned about that from the wire when they. Yes. Yeah. I didn't know. Yeah. But that is a thing. That's a traditional thing. I think cops do. I think they used to do it back pool table somewhere. I learned about that from The Wire when they had a guy. I didn't know. But that is a thing. That's a traditional thing.

I think cops do. I think they used to do it back in the day. Oh, it's a cop thing. Yeah, it's like an Irish. I don't think nobody does it anymore. I don't think you're allowed to just have a body. I was going to say. You wouldn't have anyone to walk in until everybody shows up.

He's like, put him on top of the Bud Lights. Nobody's drinking them anymore. And then, dude, so we're there. dudes over there and like we're there and his favorite he loved Absolute and Time big vodka tonic guy so we're doing

shots of Absolute to this guy who like drinking I think in the end got him and I'm like we are idiots like we're sitting here you're drinking gasoline

to kill him again I'm like what are we doing you smoking oh crank dude cranking heaters we were smoking so many we had my wife going on a cig run dude it was we're idiot like we can't i'm like i stepped outside myself i'm like what the fuck are we doing here but i don't know it's like there's something to that life of like this is what we enjoy this is what we do this is who we are and like it is what it is and that's you know i don't know it's a very like uh sad but romantic thing of like this is i shared a lot of times with him like this and this is how we bonded whether right or wrong but it's like this is what it was and this is how we're celebrating his passing or whatever so it was like it was just this weird thing i'm like we're sitting here doing the thing that fucking got this motherfucker and we're like celebrating twice and we're like celebrating like you know

i got we got shots of absolute and fucking bernie's going in the hands but it was uh it was tough but it's also like one of those things to have like it's made our family closer a little bit now that like you know it's like i i come back now that my mom you know now that he's passed like i come back to my mom a lot more we're doing a lot more stuff as a family just because like it shook me of like fuck you know this is you know it just made things more real of like how much time do you have left with all these people and it's like do i like we work very hard and it's you know it's not i'm not laying bricks or anything but it's like it's uh you know it's a very hectic schedule comedy and you you give up a

lot of time to places and stuff like that and i've gotten way better of going like yeah i don't want to do that like i'm not putting in for spots or like I'm not doing this. And I want my day. I want, you know, I'm going down to have lunch with my family. Yeah. Like really making that effort. Yeah. And it's like because it's like I don't want to look back in, you know, fucking 15 years and be like I was doing because I had like a 1 a.m. spot.

I decided not to go to the family party or something like that. So I'm like. And it's that weird thing is like you try in comedy you do everything i'll take everything i'm asking to do everything i'll do whatever you have does it pay no money i'm on anything i'm in and now i'm like oh fuck that like i don't i don't you know not that i don't care but it's like it's shift my focus a lot so it's been the past year has been a uh you know, figuring stuff out type thing in a good way, in a good way. And what about you and your brother? You guys were chilling, man. We're better than we've ever been.

Honestly, like I never think you should work with family. I've watched it just destroy families. My, you know, and it's just not it never works. And like I have a bit about it, but it's like, yeah, yeah when the family's good like if your family owns fucking you know apple great yeah i'm sure it's fun because you're splitting up billions of dollars when you're like a bricklayer or you're painting houses and money's tight and no one really knows how to run a biz and you're like it's a fuck it's it's a nightmare especially in those blue collar families money's always tight always home improvement someone's getting laid

off money's tight i mean when my dad died i didn't even know about living will and a trust or oh no that's any of that they're like did you have any like like no my dad was 42 i don't think he thought he was gonna die yeah but still so i went and made sure that i got that shit done yeah for my daughter uh no life insurance you know i made sure we got the life insurance that kind of shit um that's how it's affected me like i still have that blue collar uh blue collar mentality and work hustle but i want to make sure i'm doing that shit in a white collar world yeah you know that's so true you know i'm saying you need to apply that hustle and that work ethic to this yes yes don't stay here that's why and like that's what we do like we work like you know

we do four episodes a week we tour like crazy we guest on a shit ton of pot like where it's we apply that blue collar like i mean when i was working with my family i was digging ditches like i was literally in i was digging six foot holes like that was part of my job because it was like well we can't hire somebody i you know i was working in the office during the day and then at night we were digging ditches so it's like yeah just go worry it's like that thing you're just digging i just work go go go but i'm not digging ditches now we're doing you know a white collar industry i used to have so many people in high school and college want me to do stuff i'm like i have to work and they would get so mad you're always working i'm like you have parents yeah yeah

i don't have yeah i gotta do this work i need clothes dude are you gonna give me the money to get by today all right then i'm gonna fucking have to go to work. Yeah. It's a it is a very like feast or famine thing I've learned of like that blue collar lifestyle. The money comes in. And most people aren't like I've had friends like I grew up in like a pretty affluent area because like they they had that money for like a year, bought the place. And then that was my mom's. We're keeping this fucking place. Yeah, I don't care what bills are behind like we're keeping the fucking mortgage my dad would pay child support to my mom and that money would just go she's like that's paying the mortgage

like all that shit everything else you just put on a credit card um and like i was it was weird because like i was friends with the blue collar workers they would be like all my friends dads owned a construction company or a landscaping company or like did like auto sales or something like that somebody's got a rollback yeah exactly exactly for sure and all like then but we were like there was all like it was like doctors and lawyers kids and you're like oh like we just culturally not that like we were friends with them and stuff but it was like we just culturally not that like we were friends with them and stuff but it was like we i bonded with the other kids who's and everybody's money was up and down houses getting foreclosed on where you know one year they're putting on an addition the next

year they're taking the fucking house away it's like dude how did you not see that coming one year you know what like dude like nobody was planning six months ahead of like, they go, oh, it's like sports stars. Like, I made a million dollars this year. I'm going to make a million dollars for the rest of my life. You're like, nah, dude, you got five years to make that money. Yeah. And you got to make it last 30 years. That's right.

But that's what I, you know, I'm trying to do now, but I'm so hardwired to make bad decisions financially. Like, I just, you know, I'm just hardwired to do it do you have a business manager no you got to get a business i know i had nothing we just we're just running and gunning dude it's somewhere i mean this is the first year my taxes are paid like i'm like i and i still got money left over i'm like yo we're chilling yeah chilling dude i'm the smartest guy in the world yeah but yeah it's like i'm trying to learn from the flaws of the people before me. But I don't know. We'll see what happens.

Dude, you're doing great. Thank you. This was a great episode. Thank you, man. Thank you for doing this. And this is your first time here. I ask everybody their first time. After everything we've talked about today, advice you would give to 16-year-old Kevin Ryan?

Oh, Jesus Christ. i would say let go a lot of anxiety is you know just wary i would worry and worry and worry and worry and it's like when you're in your teens you think that's the most thing like i don't want to turn 20 i don't want to be in my 20 i want to graduate college i want these years to last forever and it's like i'm 37 and these are the best years of my life. You know what I mean? Like I did love all those times and the kids and being all that stuff. Like I love the shit out of that.

And there's so many great moments, but like, I would be like, ah, fuck, we're going to be 20 and then we got to get jobs and then we got to do this and do that. It's like,

I held it too tight and I maybe not enjoy it. Just fucking relax things will fall into place at some time and if they don't they don't and that's just is what it is type thing just acceptance a little bit yeah i love it thank you thank you brother pleasure to have one of denise's boys really has um free estimates we ain't coming back Plug and promote everything again Yeah At Kevin Ryan Comedy on all social media

Our live shows are a very good time It's a very fun live show, me and Foley both co-headlined Then we play AYG with the crowd The podcast We've had you twice, We've had so many people. We've had Louie, Tom Segura, Bird, a bunch. Norman, whoever, Shane Gillis. Check them out.

It's a good time. Hope you like it. Great. As always, RyanSickler.com. Ryan Sickler on all social media. Come see me on tour. Tickets on my website. We'll talk to you all next week.