The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Neal Brennan - BrennanDew

Episode Date: February 6, 2023

My HoneyDew this week is comedian, Neal Brennan! (Blocks, Comedians of the World) Neal Highlights the Lowlights of Catholicism, to atheism, to new discoveries after using ayahuasca and DMT. SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://youtube.com/@rsickler SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew What’s your story?? Submit at [e-mail] SUBSCRIBE to The HoneyDew Clips Channel http://bit.ly/ryansicklerclips SUBSCRIBE TO THE CRABFEAST PODCAST https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-crabfeast-with-ryan-sickler-and-jay-larson/id1452403187 SPONSORS: Betterhelp -The HoneyDew is sponsored by BetterHelp, get 10% off your first month at https://www.Betterhelp.com/HONEYDEW Rocket Money -Cancel unwanted subscriptions – and manage your expenses the easy way – by going to https://www.RocketMoney.com Dad Grass -Go to https://www.DadGrass.com/HONEYDEW for 20% off your first order Raycon -Go to https://www.BuyRaycon.com/HONEYDEW to get 15% off your Raycon order!

The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to The Honeydew, y'all. We're over here doing it in the Night Pants studios. I'm Ryan Sickler, ryansickler.com, Ryan Sickler on all your social media. And I just want to say, before I begin anything else, I want to say thank you for real. Thank you to every single one of you out there. Thank you for the love.

Thank you for the support. Thank you for the fucking jokes. Thank you for all of it. Yeah, I'm not going to talk about this now because I'm going to get emotional about it and I'm really not ready to talk about it. But I promise you, everything that just happened and honestly is still happening. I'm still, I graduated from a walker to a cane. I haven't even started physical therapy yet.

I got a long fucking year ahead of me. I have to live with blood clots in my lungs, as I know a lot of you out there have dealt with this and know how scary that shit is. But it went sideways and I'm here. I'm literally alive. We're going to get into all that in another episode down the line. But the reason I want to say this now is not only because I want to thank everybody, but because I don't know, it's a weird thing we recorded right up until Byron Bowers we recorded I don't know probably a few weeks before I went in for surgery and just had enough episodes to get through what I went through this is my first time doing a honeydew again I did do a patreon because it matters to me you guys pay for that content and we had gone just to the wire so I was able to get one in but this is my first honeydew back

and like I said we're going to do a full episode with me in a few weeks somewhere down the line I'll tell you the whole story because there's some good shit in there too that's funny that I would never want to keep to myself but thank again. I genuinely love doing what I do for a living. And I love this show. I love this community. And so many of you have wanted to help out. And I'm telling you, I don't want money for medical bills. I don't want any of that shit. Subscribe to this show. Subscribe to this show. I want to see that number go up. And I want you to tell people about this show because it matters to see that number go up, and I want you to tell people about this show because it matters and it makes a difference. And when you're facing a life and

death situation, you start reading the stuff that you guys are sending, it resonates even more. So again, thank you. And that's all I'm going to say for now. Now, you guys know what we do over here. I always say we highlight the lowlights. These are the stories behind the storytellers i'm very excited to have this guest here today first time on the honeydew ladies and gentlemen please welcome neil brennan welcome to the honeydew neil brennan good to be here can't thank you enough for doing this i don't even understand ryan great to be here thank you uh before we get into whatever we're going to talk about plug and promote everything neil brennan please oh uh the big one that i'm promote well i'm going on tour um it's generally if your city has a good airport i'm coming you know what amen to that not so fast charlotte not coming no we didn't have the chemistry.

Asheville, North Carolina. Look, Asheville had a shot. Charlotte tried you twice. We don't got it. No, Florida, you got a good airport. You don't got any Neil Brennan fans. And no, Ohio. I could have done Columbus, just didn't. You know, there's 20 cities that I'm interested in that are interested in me,

mutual approval and attraction. And so that starts in March. That starts in March. I think the first couple cities are sold. I think there's still in Nashville, there's still some tickets in LA. There's, yeah, go on neilburner.com. And I got a podcast based on my Netflix special called Blocks, which started streaming a couple months ago. Where it's called Blocks because it's the things that make me feel like something's the matter with me.

And emotional mental blocks. And so Jimmy Carr had the idea of wanting to have people on and talk about their blocks. And a few people in the comments have compared it to this podcast which you know i erased and um but i've had letterman dave letterman's first guest i'm watching letterman sebastian bobby Letterman, Sebastian, Bobby, Nikki Glaser, Taylor Tomlinson, Santino, Ronnie Chang, and I'm doing Schultz and a bunch of people next week. Good. Good stuff. Good people. Well, you always take chances, and I like that. I like the three mics.

I like the way you craft your craft. I'm a fan of that part. A lot of people just get up there and do it, which is also great. Great. But I love the depth you put behind things. But if if i did that i would have come in 50th you know i hear you like i could be i could name a bunch of people that are just better at extemporaneously doing stand-up so it's like all right well i could come in i don't know if it's 50th but i could place or i could do my own thing and win because no one else is doing it.

That's what I try to do. I'm just going to stay in my own lane over here and try to be the best in this lane. Yeah. Yeah. So let's talk about it because, like I said, I've been a fan of yours. I appreciate what you're doing over there with the mug, too. It's nice. What am I doing?

Putting it on the coast? Yeah. I don't even know if it is a coast, but it is now. It's nice. Yeah, and it's good for audio. It's good for audio, but it is now. It's nice. I'm a fan, and I know that going back, you were an atheist for a while, which I am.

I grew up Catholic, and that took care of that. Yep. My grandmas were – Hypocrisy school. Yes. Very religious, into Catholicism. One of our aunts was a nun. Great aunt, when I say these are the older ladies in the family. But yeah, it turned me off to immediately. That'll do it.

It's all it took. Honest to God, and I know I say that not jokingly, but just listening to their message and then watching what they do, I don't understand how it's even still a thing. I had a friend that was Muslim, and he used to make such a big deal about not eating pork, but he'd smoke weed and he'd drink, and finally I was like, hey, stop patting yourself on the back for not eating pork because you do all this other shit and it makes the whole religion look stupid.

And he was like, thank you. That's a good note. Thanks for saying that. But with Catholics, there's so many rules. It's easy to put a pork sandwich down. Yeah, exactly. There's so many goddamn rules. I mean, there's so many.

God, you can't. People can take a little bit of repression, but it can't all be repression. And it's anything that you're force fed. You're just going to reject it a certain course. that you're force-fed you're just gonna reject at a certain point once you get the option you're gonna fuck this i'm not doing this shit anyway all these why because i didn't choose it in the first place all these good things that are actually some of them are good for you uh you can't do you can't do them yeah you can't do them yeah so let's talk about it because you what you you had a dmt experience well yeah i the wind up what's your

what's your upbringing what is your religious school 12 years oh you actually went to catholic school yeah i'll say i didn't have to do that i did sunday school though no so you're you're baptized confirmed and communion did you um do you do stand-up once a month? It was weekly. Yeah, no, I know, but it's like,

guys, you do it once a month. Oh, yeah, I do comedy. Yeah, once a month. You did 12 years of it? Yeah,

man. Oh, man. See, the guys I know that went to Catholic school were high school. You know what I mean?

You went from, wow. I got 13 years of education, 12 of it Catholic. That's a lot. Yeah. So Catholic school, altar boy, church, mass, kneeling, sit, you know, all that shit. Oh, you were also involved in it too, like that.

You had to do altar boy stuff as well? Yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah. So, but, you know, and I was, I believed i you know i don't you just want to be good you want to what will win this how do i win this so you just go i believe in it you don't know what you're saying you don't even know what you're talking about and then i was i'd say in my 20s i was like spiritual and then on the and then I drove out here.

But wait, let me ask you this. What shifted? When did you finally let go of religion and shift to spiritual? And were you scared when you did that? In my 20s, I moved to New York and was involved in comedy. I wasn't going to go to mass. You know what I mean? I wasn't wearing a crucifix. I wasn't gonna go to mass you know what i mean i wasn't wearing a chorus effects

i wasn't gonna just like what um so i you just slowly i and then i read like the alchemist when you're 25 legally you have to and uh and like then that was sort of like i was kind of into that. Were you scared? Were you scared to fully let it go, this belief that there's this other thing? Me too for a while. I mean, kind of, yeah. But you know what I found out later? I was more scared in retrospect of getting rid of my home phone in favor of only a cell phone than I was letting Catholicism finally go. I really was.

I had more anxiety about a home phone. I don't know. I don't know. Why do I? Oh, yeah. So I just got to like go to it's in my. It's here. go uh really what i have more anxiety about terrible home phone yeah why do i oh yeah so i just gotta like go to it's in my it's i just take it out of my pocket um i'll have to go to this what will i do with my fingers what will i wrap my fingers around um so what will i throw when i lose a bet yeah right right um so what about i don't want to snap something after a medical diagnosis i want to fucking slam that motherfucker down uh so i so yeah i was in there and then around 32 i drive out here to direct a movie and i listen to uh the christopher hitchens book god is not great i read that book the book on tape is hilarious because christopher hitchens

has perfect smug british diction yeah he does it's fucking outstanding i never listened i i just i'm it was introduced to him from real time. Yeah. And I remember him saying, like, if I, because he got sick and died. Yeah. I think it was dementia, maybe. No, throat cancer. Throat cancer. But I remember him saying.

Schultz did a joke about it that I hated. Where he said. Like, an atheist died. Believers die every day. Of course they do. Ding dong. Jesus died. Yeah.

Good point. The believer. Thank you. Someone clip this and send it to Schultz, please. Clip it, Kirsten. I remember him saying, look, if I start preaching at the end about God and everything, I'm telling you, I've lost my mind, or it's the drugs or whatever. It's not me having this come to Jesus, so to speak, meeting. And I found that interesting that he planted that seed before.

And I don't know. I don't remember if he ever got there. Maybe that's what's happening to me. I wonder. I wonder. So drove out here, listened to God is Not Great, and listened to The Game. Something of a devilish pair okay uh to listen to um but and then here's a fucking

great like flashback so like 10 maybe 10 years later my dad's dying my dad's went to catholic school mass raised all his kids cath, baptized, weddings, da-da-da. And he mentioned, my dad had cancer, and he goes, he goes, oh, I'm, he goes, I'm not beating, I'm not fighting cancer. It's destroying me. I'm not, it's like I'm getting pummeled. And I go, oh, that's like a Christopher Hitchens said, had like a bit like that.

And he goes, oh, yeah, I read God is Not Great. I loved it. Did that blow your mind? Yeah, it was funny because he was going to Mass every day and reading God is Not Great. that he goes oh yeah i love i read god it's not great i loved it why did that blow your mind yeah it was funny because he was going to mass every day and reading god it's not great and it's one of those like cats in the cradle moments yeah uh that if i i just but i still didn't like him sorry sorry it still didn't work um so, drove out here, atheist. And then was an atheist from 07 to 2020.

I mean, this is pandemic. Yeah. Okay. So, pandemic. Friend sends me an article about ayahuasca if this is this is going to be one of my ayahuasca podcasts i want to hear about it because i hear about it and people yeah every i i've talked about on joe's on rogan i've talked about it here and there but same like so but you know whatever we all do but i want you to pull the fucking la stank off of it you know what i'm saying like

you hear ayahuasca a lot and i and then also like us you know i know where we live and we're full of fucking loonies but i really want to explore everything it's uh it's it's talk to me about it here's the thing ayahuasca suffers from it does suffer from it's like crypto most of the people you heard about crypto from were absolute douchebags. Yeah. But a lot of douchebags said, I'm Rick James, bitch. A lot of douchebags said, schwing. A lot of douchebags said, my wife.

That's what she says. Yeah, that's what she said. I'm not blaming the office, Wayne's World. Oh, yeah, baby. i'm not blaming the office wayne's world uh oh yeah baby i'm not blaming mike myers i'm not going to such a work i'm not blaming i'm not blaming any of these people for creating a thing that people said because that doesn't make it any but it actually is like proof that it's great that even douchebags understood it um ayahuasca so i get sent an article about it from a friend and uh and i'm like all right someone had told me about it five years earlier great i text him he sent me a number we arranged

like a private uh in my at my buddy's house and we do it okay so you're not going to south america with a shaman or any of these okay this guy is technically a shaman i've come to call him a rickety shaman okay because he's uh my buddy was like a little starbucksy that guy like there was he was white he was like a white hippie and like hey i'm doing workout and oh hi you know just like my experience that that time the first time was uh great um it was very pleasant it was i said that it was like the you drink uh i half an ounce like little plastic shot glass like rinse your mouth out like one of those little glasses um and then we all just laid there candlelight music but very nice music. And it was, my experience was, I told somebody it was like the, when you go to check into it, when you go in your room in a hotel and that video is on, like, welcome to the Radisson Inn. It was that, but for like, welcome to Ayahuasca.

And it was like wide shots of the forest for like an hour in my mind just like drone shots of pine trees okay then i cried probably for two hours about groups of people about humanity which you wouldn't i wouldn't have guessed beforehand um and like crying to the point where my nostrils are so they're they're so inflamed nothing's getting in or out just like you can't it's just it's a it's it's it's bumper to bumper and you're in the same room with the other two i'm in the same room they hear you cry four of my friends five of my friends yeah does that influence them uh or is anything they're doing or feeling influence you that you're hearing whether they're laughing or crying or you literally like locked in and going through your own you can you're

pretty your hands are full you're not like one i mean truthfully they offered a second cup i didn't take it one of my friends did take the second cup um and so we were all kind of wrapping up she took the second cup because the first cup didn't do anything and she went far off yeah to the point where i believe she got a little possessed i saw some possessions later we'll get to that can we take one step backwards and just tell us me especially what actually is ayahuasca it is a root what is it different leaves and roots it's a two different bee cappy is one call if call is one of the names and um it's two different leaves okay leaves from...

And is it naturally grown, like shrooms or whatever? It grows in the Amazon, but the crazy part is it grows, they grow far from each other. The lore of it is, a thousand years ago, the plant itself told indigenous people how to cook it. Now, look, I know how that sounds.

Look, guys, I'm coming to this. Sounds no different than taking a rib out of a man and making a woman to me. Now, that's absurd. Now, plants talking. That's right on time. Yeah, so I get how insane that is. Having done it, I buy it 98%. I hear you.

I appreciate the two, though. Thank you for that. Yeah, I'll leave it. A little something. A little something. The Angel Share, as they call it in whiskey. Okay. Shout out to Whiskey Ginger, guys.

WhiskeyGinger.com. Andrew Santino. Okay, so me, one of my friends, I believe that ceremony vomited, purged, they call it, purged his mother's hatred of him up. You purge up things. You purge up notions. You purge up beliefs. Not just thoughts your physics

some people do have a physical reaction yeah you think you're thinking it as you vom it's it's it happened to me once and it's pretty wild um feel it moving through you like does it feel like a toxic uh or a poison i purged an apology to the earth. Again, just remember how cynical I am. Just go watch tapes of me from 2019. Tapes. You got tapes? Go to your VHS, your betas. So, yeah, that's what I like about it.

It's like I'm so known for cynicism that it's like okay this got me what was your apology for uh what humans have done to the earth just i apologize for it it was my personal apology okay i've had friends purge up all kinds of stuff um so so one of my friends got possessed the spirits were telling her to masturbate in front of us. Like, pretty heavy shit, right? That's pretty heavy, yeah. One of the other spirits told her that me and my friend were trying to assault her. Just like she was possessed.

It wasn't based in any kind of reality. And we're all just sitting there talking. She's still in it. So that was the first time I did it. And it was like, all right, that was good, right? How long does it last? That lasted three and a half hours. Hers lasted about seven.

Oh, okay. See, that's what I thought was more. Well, because she had two cups. The rest of us just had one. I see. That's right. So based on that, private, I get in touch with another friend who told me about it five years earlier and i'm like hey i had a good experience and she tried to get me to come to this circle uh out here where it's

a bunch of people and that do it pretty regularly and it's very ceremonial and so she puts me in touch with them and i schedule a weekend to go and i get there a couple of my friends come with me and when do you remember real sex on hbo of course you do yeah remember where they do these field pieces these videotape pieces of we used to call videotape uh pieces of uh uh where they go like we're interview we're going to a swingers colony and it was people unlike any you'd ever met in life this was like that when we me and my friend walked in i go real sex take 12 but the hippie lilith fair version white flowing like kind of a cult looking yeah i was gonna say that sounds culty yeah it was super cult you have to wear white because that's what they do in peru because peru they do it in

total darkness so you wear white so people can see you okay so they they using their ceremonial uh practices they bring whatever how i mean i feel like this is relatively new for people here at least in the states squares but how i've been doing this two over two years just fucking two years how long does this go back though for real does this go back to like thousands of years the incas and the mayas and shit yeah when they talk about the medicine man that's who they're talking about they're talking about they call it medicine because that guy would do it and speak to the spirit world. I see.

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rocketmoney.com slash honeydew. Now, let's get back to the do. First night, I drink and it doesn't, I have a cup, nothing happens. Have another cup, nothing happens. And do this thing called hoppe, where they blow, I call it jungle cocaine. They blow a,

they stick a pipe in your nostril and blow sacred ash, like sacred tobacco ash, like actual tobacco, like good tobacco from the, from the Amazon, like not processed fucking garbage. Fucking skull. You're not getting fucking. No.

Yeah. And it's like blessed or something or special in some way uh and they they go like and it like you have to close your throat and it's the worst thing i've ever felt it felt like i was getting waterboarded with sand oh it's like rocks in your head yeah a lot of people get it it's like a turbo button you get it helps the the ayahuasca like it's like uh you get like 10 times the ayahuasca for 10 minutes whatever it's like a it's like a it's like the uh mushroom in mario basically got it and um and uh nothing but old references um betamax mario videotape um and um and i drove my stick up to the ceremony yeah yeah yeah um and um nothing worked friday night even that no i'm just now you're just annoyed and i'm nauseous and not only am i annoyed people

are doing the thing of like you may have a block and I'm like, and I literally was like you gotta stop. I've already done it. It's worked for me. And then second night they changed the formula a little bit of amount they were giving me and like bingo. So you

stayed overnight? Yeah. Intentionally originally or because it wasn't working? Yeah, no, that's how it works. But the other one was not an overnight the first one it was a one-nighter uh it's a one-nighter but the cult where do you sleep at the cult place on the floor in a in a basically a finished garage um it's couldn't that's the thing it's just like this isn't glamorous it's hippie-ish but also nuh-uh there's like i'm just in a sleeping bag next to some dude and some lady it's hippie-ish but also nuh-uh there's like I'm just in a sleeping bag next to some dude and some lady and they're not

especially cool especially glamorous they're just really regular like fucking regular people and which is great because you're all kind of you all want the same thing

which is some sort of connection to yeah you just want a connection to the some purpose or some guidance or something it's interesting that everybody's literally laying on a floor and everyone's on the same level you know no matter who you are you're looking for answers and a connection and hoping you can find it through this process yeah yeah um and and theo's gone roy wood's gone uh nicole schreiber's gone like people we know like theo's gone more than once i'd like to try it i'm i'm all skeptic and scared a little bit there's always fear it's only gonna get scarier this this story just fyi it gets significantly worse um so and second night i'm like i i i just, it hit me. And I was fucking ecstatic.

Like, just like beaming. Now, can I ask you, I ask a lot. I'm so curious. Is it a familiar feeling like you felt before? Is it different, better? Is it, what are you feeling now? It is. Are you like, there it is?

I know this feeling. It's the longest sustained period of joy I've ever felt. Wow. Okay. Hour and a half, two hours. Of bliss? Three hours of bliss. Wow.

And then, same night, I believe, two hours of crying over a friendship to the point where I thought when I turned my phone on, the friend was going to be dead. Like that's the level of just crying. You went that high or that low. But it wasn't, that was also nice. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Like it was beautiful. It was like a connected friendship.

So at a certain point in this ceremony that I do it in the circle, I do it in, um, there's all, there's two different religious, uh, sort of, uh,

like he's pulling from two different religious ceremonies. One's called Umbanda, which is a Afro-Caribbean religion from like 8,000 years ago or something. Wow. And, and. That number. Yeah.

I believe it's around 8,000. And another one called Santo Daime, where again, the leaves are going to speak 100 years ago a guy is in brazil and he's he's like a rubber trapper and uh kind of a cool thing kind of cool and by the way the guys look like he's like six nine and looks like he's friends with bill russell that's the only way i can explain it um let me show you his picture so you know who i'm talking about um the uh i think there's a bill russell doc getting ready to come out on netflix or something you ever read his book uh great i will now all right great this is the guy oh holy shit. Six, nine. Yeah, six, nine.

Yeah. And this is from, like, 19... That's also a face. It looks like it's seen some shit, too. Yeah, it's seen some shit. He would drink gallons of... So, anyway, I don't even know if he did... Two, he's walking through the forest, and two, like, we'll call them wood nymphs,

appear to him and say, hey, you gotta spread the word about ayahuasca and he's like how and they go make a religion he goes it's brazil it's like everything's catholic and they go make it look catholic so this it's called santo dime and they have like crucifixes but with two beams. It literally looks like the Marx Brothers were like, the cops are coming. We gotta make a religion. It's like a Star of

David sort of. It's so goddamn funny from a comedy writing point of view. When you look at it, you're like, oh, shit. They'll never suspect. And the music's super cool, whatever. So in the ceremony we do the some santo dime dances there's some again dude there's a thing called the celestial court

they open up the room to spirits long story short i open my eyes in the middle of this, and I go, oh, I'm in the presence of God right now. That's when it hits you? Yep. Like, I can't explain it any other way. I'm in the presence of God. Do you have a physical feeling over you? I said it was like the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark before the faces melt. Okay.

I remember. When they open the Ark and they, yeah. Beautiful moment before hell hits. The only dialogue is, it's beautiful. That's all's all someone says it was like that and no faces melt so i was just like all right this is the only this is the first this is what they said church was was but are you seeing it are you seeing feeling it okay i'm like i'm pretty like you're present with eyes open you're feeling everything yes i'm present with eyes open eyes open, but they're a little watery. I had a glot, but I'm still conscious.

I'm still blissful. I'm still probably thinking about my friend. I'm in this emotional thing. And again, go ahead and poke holes in it. It's fine. It's not going to change my experience. Well, it's your experience anyway. The person next to you could have a completely different one in the same room on the same drug yes um and a weird thing like my friend came and

she was like rolling her eyes the whole time like this is so stupid this is so corny and everyone does a share after each ceremony and one of the people shared that she's like i don't know i had these visions of like barbed wire and concentration camp, and my friend starts crying. She had the same vision. The skeptical friend? Yeah. That's what made it change. And a third woman also. Just weird shit that you can't...

I have a crazy story that I don't want to forget, but I don't want to tell it yet. Okay. I'm going to preview it yet okay so i'm gonna you i'm gonna i'm gonna preview it um so anyhow i'm like all right i'm in the presence of god i don't know how i now not only do i believe it i'm like my i'm experiencing it it wasn't like oh there was no light there was just like this is just i don't know standing more than a feeling yeah yeah more like maybe it had to be powerful for you to go from all this catholic school of 13 or 12 years to overcome like the

fuck you of that like never again and then be like oh if this had happened i never leave all of that was just like a game of telephone based that's what i think now based on my experience that's a game of telephone there is a central creation force but that's about the only thing that's right to me now having said that in this circle in the celestial court um there's an altar and it's got the fake crucifix it's got the phony crucifix it's got a buddha it's got jesus got virgin mary and it's got arch archangel michael again something that i barely remember from catholic school but like whatever he's big in this um he's again and then there's yeah and then there's there's umbandanda candles and there's gods called Orishas.

And they all have different names and they represent the sea and just kind of Greek-ish, for lack of a better word. Kendrick Lamar references them. Not this record, but the record before. What's the name? I can't remember the name of it. But it sounds like Metatron. That's one of the orishas that he references in his, whatever.

It's not a Transformers reference. So I know what you're thinking, and it's not a Transformers. It's an Umbanda deity that I have no information on other than I know that they exist and that's all i know and this this you're drinking a liquid so are they like boiling it is it like a tea they boil it at some point up the stream by the it's not hot like by the time it gets to

like people in america it's not legal so they have to like transport it in weird ways um so so that's my first weekend and wait let's go back yeah i don't want to just gloss over that you're feeling god more you're feeling god though you're believing in it now for the first time in quite a while yeah like genuinely like the way you go i'm in, and then you're actually in love. You're like, oh, this is in love. That other thing was just some fake shit to get a girl to fuck me. All right. So are you – Just trying to get God to fuck me.

Are you happy with it? Are you scared of it? Like, where are you at? At this point? At that moment. I'm like, I literally was like, I'm going to – Well, the first night I drank it, I stood up, and the first night with all my friends at the other.

But I was like, I'm going to be a fucking zealot for this. Like I literally an hour and I was like, this is insane because it was mushrooms. Mushrooms, you'll have like five funny thoughts in a minute. Right. Like this was like. Wow. And you're like, I was laughing like I literally said, wow. I was like, wow. And you're like, I was laughing. Like, I literally said, wow. I was like, this is wild that what's happening.

Okay. So I've done the circle, right? With, I did it with the people in this sort of ceremony. Now you're not going to believe this, but some of the people in the circle had some uh had some ideas about covid and maybe some had some conspiracy theories and maybe people weren't wearing masks in the fall of 2020 and maybe we left sunday and on on Tuesday someone tested positive and I was like guys could we then could we test

they were kind of like no so I then went back to the original Rickety Shaman for a private a one on one me Ian Edwards and my friend Catherine who had the the the uh barbed wire

um and that's where i drank well i don't you don't know the story so we're just doing it and again nothing's working for me katherine's it's hitting her and it's hitting ian nothing's working for me and i'm like so i've had like three cups i'm like should i have like a fourth and the guy's like let me see your pupils he's like okay fourth and uh katherine had been having a hard time she was just like eyes closed like all that and she literally was like god this is fucking taking a long time she was just just, like, not in good shape. And Ian was doing great. And my fourth cup, it's the oldest drugstore in the world. Like, this doesn't work.

Let me get more. Whoopsie. And it was one of the great whoopsies of my life. It was. What happened, dude? Because this is your third time ever anyway right at this point

fourth night okay and it hits me I start seeing like watery my eyes are water water as fuck

it's like it's kind of churchy in that you know how like a um scrim will come in confession there's like a scrim it was as if there was a scrim but of like rattlesnake skin oh shit right and i'm getting what i then purge my apology for climate change and then i my something that my other my good shaman refers to brain dissolution happens mind dissolution where i think the word what and my brain goes and i'm like how long does that last a couple hours hours dude yeah you can't shut it off no you're just and i'm literally going i'm gonna be a fucking drug casualty to the point where i i mean it was so you're stuck in that for two hours and she and i was like i to the point where i was so

lost that i was going i this is how i knew i should have known that i was in there because i kept thinking if you're just joining us what is anything you're saying i'm thinking that like in the tone of if you're just joining us i'm like what is anything what is any i didn't know it's a great question it's a great question it is it really is um now okay so i'm i'm in uh uh uh uh world what is anything then i get thrust to outer space by myself is it silent then yeah well couldn't. Okay, so the what's have stopped in outer space? I'm just really overloaded. And are you like out there floating among?

By myself. Not in a ship or anything? You're just out there? By myself. And the universe died. So what happens if you're in outer space? Saturn, babies, babies rivers black holes uh uh electricity human souls aliens i mean all of it top to bottom nebula galaxy in this shit

or feeling it i'm feeling it i'm... I get that. We're shutting it down. And I'm by myself. And I started breathing. It's like a yoga breathing. Called samadhi breathing. And I didn't know how long I did it.an told me recently i did it for several hours hours and the reason i did it was as a beacon in space to help someone find you yep if someone got within three feet of me they could have heard me yeah i love it i love you were conscious enough to send us i got i'm not going out yeah i'm not going out like with nothing

i'm not just gonna go out i'm gonna send a beacon up um and so that ends right i can show you a photo of the next morning because i'm dude i was on my back and uh and i got mad at the shaman because i was like dude i was not i was in really bad shape like and he's like well as a former human with as a former uh emt um oh he Oh, that's good to have, actually. Not DMT. We'll get to that. I can tell you that you were never in danger, which is like, I don't know if you can tell me that, sire. But you'll see how I vomited, and it's not a great way to vomit. You'll see it on my shirt.

Um, so while you were laying there, you also, when you've actually purged, you threw up on yourself. Yeah, you did. Yeah. And, uh, I don't know if you, I'll send, you can post this. What the, I'm just trying to imagine how the fuck you did i don't know either it looks like a fucking yeah send that to us yeah for real that is uh it's a fucking interesting pattern to fucking yeah so and not not an insubstantial amount. That's a lot of puke. Yeah. But not to be just.

Yeah. Two streams. Yeah. I wonder if it was nostrils. Was it through your nostrils? No. It was purged. That's what purged looks like. God.

Anyhow. So I'm. That's the next morning. I like just kind of woke up. And Ian said, I knew you were going to be okay. I just knew you were going to be okay. I can't explain it. I just knew like whatever's going on. you were going to be okay. I just knew you were going to be okay. I can't explain it. I just knew, like, whatever's going on, he's going to be okay.

I was fucking terrified for three days in the world. After that. Yeah. Like, I never thought I had PTSD before. I was like, oh, I think this is what PTSD is, where I'm just scared. I thought glass was gonna i was gonna say what are you what are your fears uh falling down step like kind of like the omen shit or like scary movie shit but irrational things nothing you had ever done before or

no just like i'm just now i'm worried about bad things happening to me okay um but like i slept with the lights on no idea um but a few days into it i had the thought i had to go off antidepressants to do it to to drink ayahuasca you can't be on ssris because it'll you can get serotonin syndrome because it released a lot of serotonin whatever whatever and i either thought like my so my the floorboards of my mood were sort of gushy after when i quit doing uh ssri it's like they i was like i could feel that like i could go into a pretty significant depression like they were the floor was there but it was like not the most reliable i hear you and after the that bad night higher firm polished without the meds yeah and i was like oh i think i'm not gonna be depressed anymore. So that was great. Right. But again, pretty steep way to get there,

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I held it against the rickety shaman. Fair enough. You also did four shot with the so i was basically like a bachelorette and uh yeah like i'm not blaming the man i mean um so so uh i'm like the guy who wanted to sue Vegas. Yeah, sue Vegas. So, a couple days later, so I go to more ceremonies with like the, you know, I get vaxxed early, like wait in line overnight and all that shit. So, I get vaxxed mostly so i could do more ayahuasca and uh because it's not like a ton going on and uh and get vaxxed go to another ceremony next several

ceremonies were real tough because in what way because i'd had this bad experience so now i'm like are you not mental battling yourself yeah one point my heart started racing really fast uh maybe the same ceremony I heard a tiger in the room oh dude fuck that that's like acoustically there's a tiger in the room yeah no thank you and a baby tiger comes around the um altar and it's the only time in my life i went like in my life girls will do it twice a week um knocking a girl's bathroom door without telling her and she's gonna i that's the only time baby tiger like fucking not doing good but i also felt in one of those ceremonies i always felt felt like I had a heaviness. Like there was like lead on, like I had a lead helmet on my head, like just like a heaviness to my spirit.

And in one of those ceremonies, I just felt like pressure, like air pressure. Take it off. But also next ceremony, I thought the rapture came. Thought it was the rapture. I'm like, this is it ceremony i thought the rapture came thought it was the rapture i'm like this is it this is the rapture do all kinds of things each one yes it's not consistent at in any way for you no and but you're not so nervous about it that you're like all right fuck this you're still going back i met somebody said why are you doing this I was like I met God yeah what else am I gonna do let's see that sounds also just same way like junkie fucking mentality man but that heroin man I met fucking God but it's not like no I get my dick suck but it's not that it's literally like dude

so is that what you're looking for every time you go back yeah well you're coming even i mean you're communing with um a palpable higher power not imaginary it's like not the universe because you saw the universe die so it's bigger than the universe made it came back so is it love they didn't they didn't it did they didn't kill the universe yeah all right they didn't get it yeah he ducked. The universe ducked. No, you're just experiencing. You're like, you feel connected to all living beings ever, maybe. And higher power. Let's go back to how Neil feel for just a moment. Thank you very much.

What are you searching out now that you've got these three, four under your belt? Are you going for more answers? now i'm looking for like and now i'm also seeing it as like a top off for depression for like staving off depression because i can't take ssri or i stopped taking ssris and your mood for depression was good during that time as well yeah it was good but i didn't want to not do aya for three months and it dips you know what i mean so i was doing that but really hard like tigers rapture uh you know just just rough shit and what are your gaps in between days a week at a time uh yeah maybe once a month okay um so i maybe go another weekend it's like three nights i mean three weeks is a long time to be off of meds and still feel okay from one session of ayahuasca

yeah that is impressive yeah so but it was sometimes it was two months probably like it was you know it was a bunch um i really gave up on that coaster huh huh? You don't have to foot. So, and then around the maybe lifetime, my eighth ceremony, I'm kind of out of the PTSD zone, and they do the Celestial Court, or the Angelic Court as it's known. They literally play Calling All Angels. You want to, you can't, they play the song Calling All Angels to open the Celestial Court. It's nauseating. As a snob, as a cultural snob, you're like, you can't play Calling, it's a little on the nose.

No, but it works. So anyway, I'm in ceremony and I start two, three hours in. Start doing this. I'm not really controlling it. It's just like. But you're aware of it. Yeah. And for like an hour and a half, two hours, three hours. What? My body's just doing this right just lightly seizing

shaking just shaking i don't know yeah rocking's good okay i get that and a woman walks past named lucia i sound like a goofball but i what do you still did all the shit i did yeah this is what i still got netflix but i got tv shows uh sorry sorry yeah sorry um uh and a woman walks past named lucia dancing there's really great music and it's it hits you nice and she's like brazilian anyways she's a good dancer and and i do like the joke thing by the way i can write jokes on it i've written jokes that worked on you have yes okay funny mean tags you're also mentally clear yeah for sure yeah you're not like i'm mostly there um and lucia walks past dancing and i and i'm rocking and i jokingly think you know one of these days i'm gonna start dancing like lucia like you know what i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna get in shape it's

like that tone like i'm gonna start dancing like lucia i think that and immediately i start doing what she was doing and i'm not in control of it you got up and i didn't get up at that point i just my arms mimicking her doing shit and uh is she like looking at you as like an energy connection but like i picked it up that's wild you're reading some physical cues from somebody else instead of verbal and then that whole night i was then i got up and was and i'm doing shit that i'm not in control there's angels in the outfield i mean you don't strike me as a dancer i don't strike you as a dancer but but did you nail it bet against me well what would you have put your money before um no i can dance i'm fucking comics we're fucking we can it's all rhythm um and uh and pretty much every time I've done ayahuasca scents or mushrooms or I did MDMA recently and I go into this fucking weird spasm.

They're called like, I think they're called mudras. It's in Indian. It's in another fucking Buddhism uh indian uh it's in another uh the fucking buddha and not buddhism whatever but it seems to be a comfort level it's not uncomfortable it's just weird it's weird but i'm not like what's going on i'm just like i just let my mind go blank and my body just does shit and um so that was up that's sort of the story until july 2021 okay um and and uh and then i started going then i went to new york to do what became the blocks netflix thing and so i'm in new york i don't have a circle to do it there someone tells me about uh they have access to bufo 5meo dmt the one that you smoke like dmt now the active ingredient in ayahuasca is dmt is that right yeah but it's like in tea so you just your body metabolizes it way slower you smoke it it's crap right right now can i ask you because i'm i'm

i think a lot of people are surprised i don't really do i'm weed and shrooms like i don't i'm none of these pills like even when i was in the hospital they would mention these pills and i'm like what and they would get annoyed with me almost that I didn't know this, you know, it's Oxy. And I'm like, I don't know. I don't do these things. I don't know. I hate those things. DMT.

Can I show you a picture of Lil Wayne? Nothing. DMT. Is it not a chemical your body releases as you die? Apparently it's the chemical your body releases as you die? Apparently, it's the chemical your body releases when you die. They can't prove that, I don't believe, but they suspect that that's what happens. So that's what we're talking about. I'm not far off.

All right, I got it. But is this also something that's natural to Earth? It's in toad venom or secretions. Okay, so some animals have this shit. Sonoran toad. Got it. They scrape them It's the one where the The animals lick it's back

And start tripping and shit Basically yes It's like Yes It's like in that family They put it They literally Milk them onto glass

It dries Then you It flakes And you smoke that But it's the active ingredient In ayahuasca Is In DMT

But this is Pure 5-Meo ain't nothing there but dmt go ahead smoke it always struck me as too severe i was like that sounds severe yeah i'd heard michael pollan talk about on rogan show and i was like that seems too severe how much are we talking when we're talking we're talking a Are we talking a little bit or drops? Oh, you're talking about like salt, like a bunch of salt, like nothing. Nothing. But I get like, hey, you want to do it?

They have an opening tomorrow night if you want to go. Okay, so this is also regulated in the sense that there's someone that'll guide you for this too. Yeah, but again, you're so far gone. People smoke it in vapes apparently, which is, it'sfo it's not 5meo it's like a different type of dmt i've seen people do it they seem okay i would when i tell you the story you'll never do it so uh i go to the this is november 1st 2022 no 2021 november 1st 2021 i go uh at eight o'clock to a hotel room in new york and i i basically sit there it's a guy who's like sort of in charge not even a shaman he's just like it's great it's wonderful i do it you you smoke you go and you literally fall back like it's and i went to what michael

pollen described on rogan show as going to a place before the Big Bang. Okay. That's how far back this feels. My experience of it was I'm basically an amoeba. I don't know direction. I don't know breathing. I don't know. I know exactly nothing.

And I must have been in there because I'm panicking. Because you don't know. It's like, what am I? It was like, it felt like the first moment of consciousness. Wow. Fuck. Any consciousness. Hold on a second.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's interesting because our first moments of consciousness, we don't even remember. Yeah, exactly. And now you have a feeling of that. Yeah. But that's all you have. Nothing else makes sense to you.

Yeah, I mean, dude. You just know you're present. I am awake. I'm on. I've been switched on. Yeah, yeah. Whatever I am has been switched on. Yeah, yeah. Whatever I am has been switched on, and I remember feeling like I formed a synapse.

And I also remember hearing the term, or I don't know where, God's not here yet. Yet. Yeah, Like. Right. Does that mean he's coming in 10 minutes? Yeah.

Or like you're so new to everything. I don't know. Big bang. Right. Yeah. Yeah. So this is. Fuck.

I'm like. This is a completely different experience already. Like I'm not a per. I don't even know what a person is. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know anything. I don't even know what a person is.

I don't know anything. And then slowly but surely over the next 30 minutes, your consciousness comes in, comes back. And it was pretty cool. It felt like I was rebuilding myself. Rebuilding, okay. And I'm not discovering that I have this part and stuff. It was like, when i say rebuilding it was more like i because i'd have a petty thought i'd be like no

we're not doing that anymore and i was beaming i was like because it's crazy yeah it's crazy what's happening you're like laying and you're going like i don't want to be that and you feel really uh connected like it just feels like a different consciousness or a different experience Going like, I don't want to be that. And you feel really connected. It just feels like a different consciousness or a different experience of sentience or life or whatever. I inhaled at 8. I'm walking home at 9. Really? Yeah.

The guy offered me a second hit. I was like, no. Yeah, I'm good. I was like, people do another one? So I'm walking home. So how do you feel on the walk home? Yeah, what are you thinking about? I feel like clean.

You ever do LSD? No. I haven't done it in forever. I'm scared. you ever do lsd no sure i haven't done it i'm scared but there's a there's like a feeling after lsd where you're like oh your your brain feels pretty clean i felt my brain felt pretty clean um this is on november 1st i believe it's a monday um and so i do my show that week and i still feel like myself so wait you shot the special no i'm just doing it live work i was gonna say doing it in like a theater i felt like myself and saturday night the six or seven or whateverth or whatever, Ryan Hamilton comes.

And it was really fun to do because I could hear him laughing. And it's like doing an hour and I can hear Hamilton, what he's laughing at. And it was like crowded and it was great. We're walking home and I'm like, yeah, man, I'm not an atheist anymore. And he grew up Mormon. So I'm like, hey. And he's like, I might not believe me. And we're walking home and as i'm telling about dmt and and and ayahuasca can feel myself like drifting a little bit into that white void dmt world and i'm like this is weird but i'm like, yeah, talk, talk, talk, talk. I go upstairs to my apartment that I'm staying in,

and I watch the Linda Ronstadt documentary on HBO Plus. Sold 80 million records. She had no idea. No idea. 80 million records. I wouldn't have guessed that number. I know. I know.

That's what I'm saying. I would not have guessed that. It's what was so great about the documentary. That's insane. Before the internet. Yeah, man. Because she sold them on vinyl and A-track and C. Like, she sold them on different formats.

80 million. Yeah. And I'm, like, drifting into this DMT world, and I'm like, I got to get to sleep, because this is getting weird, where I'm, like, halfway between alive and that. And- Do you feel like you could slip into that side if you let yourself go yeah and i wake up the next day still drifting and now i'm like it's worse i go on a coffee date with a woman, and at one point, like, all I can say is, like, my consciousness is disintegrating. I'm like, imagine talking to me, and, like, this is becoming white static.

I think I would describe it as pre-psychotic. Damn. I believe. Again, never been psychotic, but my friend of mine helped me, and she'd been psychotic at one point she was explaining like oh okay like so and she said i seemed i was just scared i was like i i don't know what she's like you just seem really preoccupied because it was like right here this fucking something and i had the thought on that was sunday then monday i was like this is not it's the worst day of my life this is the worst day of a life any life and i also had the thought i wouldn't wish this on adolf hitler that's an actual thought actual thought yeah another actual thought it would dude it was

so disorienting i was like this is how many days after now uh four or five a full week yeah there's 70 70 percent of people that smoke dmt have a reactivation like a flashback type thing most of them are short mine was not short what's considered short a couple hours yeah minutes minutes yeah you're got days going on now uh next day i thought i should i don't i think i'll probably have to kill myself if this keeps up you really thought that yeah but the reason i didn't was because i knew i'd be going into more of it oof oof kill yourself and then you're just living in that shit yeah so dying or whatever yes and existing so i just like

didn't i just like and it wasn't suicide you know what i mean it wasn't despair it wasn't didn't i just like and it wasn't suicide you know what i mean it wasn't despair it wasn't depression it was disorientation next day i was like five i was half of a percent better and i got like half a percent better for i guess that would be uh not even kidding six months what is that long neil yeah i Every day considering these things swirling in your head. No, it got better. Not suicide, so to speak, but just. I got better. That was early November.

December 20th, I go to the dentist. I do laughing gas. Back. Wow. White world. And I'm like, I literally was like, hey, can we stop real quick? And I kind of had to get back in line start back up around the same time i get on a i'm on a plane falling asleep turbulence and my first thought is like what am i

like i'm it's pretty and i'm doing my show i'm walking on the steps to the stage going like what is this i know how to do this show but i don't even know what your timing or anything really not really what okay so this is six months yeah are you doing ayahuasca during this at all now are you just staying off of everything give it a rest i just wanted to make sure okay we're gonna give that a rest um and uh and i'm just trying to get normal again. Have you talked to doctors, or are you just shutting up about this? I was convinced. I still think I'm right. I knew I couldn't really talk to a therapist about this.

I was so far. I mean, unless they've literally gone through this, who the fuck can you talk about? There are grounding exercises you can do. There are things you can do, but I was so far out. I told a friend of mine, i was past the sun damn i was that thought but but i'm still drinking and i'm not like i'm still i you probably saw me i'm sure it didn't i didn't well i've watched your special you were right doing during that you did this I or you were

going through this yeah during no I shot the special this year so I spent I basically shot the special uh eight months later eight months so this lasted six yeah so there was a window forever it was dude I couldn't watch sunsets I couldn't watch the apple tv screensaver those like crystal 4k shots it would start to send you in the i knew all right so we're all we all just blinders on i'm just like i gotta get to santa monica do my pocket whatever whatever and then someone goes isn't it crazy like that that ocean is the oceans 500 000 years old, yeah, it's crazy, man. Yeah, nothing happens. I knew how I understood.

I can't explain it. Like the blinders were off. And at some point I experienced, I think in the first couple days, I experienced interacting with the central creation force of the universe. Oh, my God. You're over there talking to the main hub. But it wasn't a person. It was like a –

Yeah, whatever it is. It was like a black matte rock, for lack of a better word. And there was another person there and i was like yeah and i was like again i don't know when i dreamt i don't know what but i was like this is god and they were like yeah and then both of our brains got like zapped and i was like what are you? What am I? Like, what is anything? And I'm going to chill. Sorry about it. Because it was really hard.

And so I slowly recovered. And again, you wouldn't have known. I'm driving to normal shit, doing spots. And by the way, I'm crushing'm crushing like i'm doing great so the weird thing is um i'm that thing that happened with the my mind is now higher and firmer than it was even after that like i'm never gonna be depressed like not even did you go back to meds no you're off your depression man yeah really yeah and you feel good yeah do you regret dmt because i know this is probably an interesting question i don't that's the thing i if like given the like do i do it in time time machine do i do it again i don't think i do you don't now having said that i'm better in every single way

and that's where i wanted to really go is like do you feel the education you got from the dmt uh as far as you know how it's influenced you do you think that was worth i am different in my body you are my body is different what are you doing differently are you working out more are you um i'm gonna say is there any dietary shit that comes with it so much to do a podcast where there's a secret word that you have to say and it's like a podcast keto is gonna get and then all right we can go confetti falls um the i just am do you feel it is better my i i uh if you eat fast food do you feel it differently you know what i mean are you more in touch with your body now i still like not like that it's more my understanding of life is different in that it's i now believe that that I am a spirit

that existed before 1973 and I'm in this body I was born in 1990 I'm kidding that I'm in this body temporarily and when I die

I'm going back to that white world but I'm gonna do we come out understand it like i'm not gonna it's not gonna terrify me right that's what i think that again i hear you but let me ask you this i'm me either i know nothing but i do believe what you believe i believe we're just meat sacks yeah right now until i'm trying to figure out the best way to be and i don't understand why. Me either. One of my big questions when I do these ceremonies is like, why is my life the way it is?

The good and the bad. And I don't think I'll ever. It's a fucking egotistical thing. But what's going on? But it's hard not to ask. Sure. And now you say, have you done ayahuasca since at all? I didn't do it for a year.

I did it 11 months after the DMT. And how was that? It was great. It was. Yeah, and I had things happen that had never happened before. On ayahuasca? On ayahuasca, yeah. Do you think that was dmt related those things i don't know i mean are you going to do dmt again i wouldn't do dmt if you offered me

one billion with a b dollars oh wow billion neil you could feed a lot of people don't care they gotta start i'm not doing that again that's never going to happen again yeah like not wow it's not going it's i cannot do it again but ayahuasca you ayahuasca i've literally done again but only once since or i've got a one since but i made schedule wise i may do it like in april or may like okay i'm not i'm very interested about the meds though because i don't want to i not telling... None of us are telling anyone to get off their meds. I'm just interested for you, really. No, I'm kidding. But I mean...

No, no, no. My meds help me. The stuff I did prior to... I did TMS, transcranial myelitis stimulation. That helped me. Meds helped me. EMDR helped me. Yeah, it was great.

A bunch of stuff helped me. That's helped me out a lot. So I can't sit here and say, don't do... Don't do this or that. They all help me the the but dmt helped me i mean all those things helped about 15 and then dmt was like we'll take it from here 85 we got and it was like it was you've heard the story it's like it scares the fuck out of me it's scarier than i'll never do

it now it's so much again i did five meo dmt and bufo so it's got many names i don't care name bufo uh it's it's your and i talked to rogan about this they're legalizing all these things and it's like you know hey just so you know this is some pandora's box like a motherfucker like yeah and cool and it's like i've seen people get possessed i was well salvia is legal and people think salvia is you know because it's not illegal it's a practice version of weed and it is crazy oh i've had a guest come on that lived in a parallel universe for eight years and started to believe that that was his real fucking life it was eight calendar calendar years are they so at the end of it it was 60 or excuse me one minute 60 seconds and it was

eight calendar years in that fucking world and he counted it what did get done? He had a job at a Tyler, he moved to Tyler, Texas. He had a Volkswagen bug. He originally had a family with children and cried every night. And then so, he was the guy at the grocery store telling everyone, I don't belong here. I have a family. And he became that guy that they thought was mentally challenged and, you know, crazy and everything until he finally had to tell people at the grocery store, I now know that my father, mother, and sister were killed in a car crash. And they were like, there's the guy we know and love. There he is. There he is. By the way, that wasn't the guy. At all. And then he woke up. And one minute later, but he had lived eight fucking painstaking years in this alternate universe missing his kids and his wife and kids.

He said he couldn't stop hugging them. They're like, Dad, you know, he's been gone for a minute to them. And then it starts to make you think about life and time and what time really even fucking. I mean, you spend 60 minutes, but it's eight years there. And then you think, well, that's 10 minutes of DMT is 80 years. I believe it's a lifetime. I believe now me too that shifted me it did fucking crystals fuck it yeah go get out the sedona and charge them up let's go girl i'm worse crystals um yeah like i don't dude i'm trying all the shit we got you don't think i gotals. Dude, I'm trying. All the shit we poke fun at and everything else.

You don't think I got some selenite in my house? I don't even know what to do with it. And so the story I was going to... That I was like, I'll tell you the story later. This is just crazy. This is on Reddit. Someone sent me this. The question was, what's the craziest thing ayahuasca has ever told

you to do ayahuasca presents as a woman is that right yeah and like speaks to you um it hasn't happened to me but it happens to lots of people uh she will speak to you um and the someone wrote, she told us to watch Neil Brennan's Netflix special. Okay? Someone sends me this. I go, so I DM the kid. I go, what do you mean? And he wrote back, did it happen to you too? It happened to three of us.

Three different people in an ayahuasca ceremony were told to watch my comedy i i dm the kid again he he hasn't responded probably freaking the fuck out i'll be putting real life on that now too it's really neil brennan messaging me i didn't say who i was it was like my he's dating i said i had a very credible lie. Trust me. But shit like that happens all the time. And it's still, things pop up like that too, you find in that? Yeah.

So ayahuasca, yes. DMT, fuck yes. That would be my personal recommendation. Mushrooms, yes. MDMA, yes. For me, do you have my body? But you don't smoke weed, do you? No. Don't like it. Does nothing for me do you have my body but you don't smoke weed do you or do you no don't like it does nothing for me um so so yeah but i'm bet i'm improved in every way yeah audiences like me

more people are like are you what happened like i'm lighter i'm just lighter you feel it yeah i other people feel it i feel it but then other people say it before i say it's undeniable when a bunch of different people start coming up and all saying the same thing you know like i never thought i had an accent till i moved here and it's undeniable that i have an accent no you know it's not no not there statistically though yeah yeah this has been a fucking fantastic episode it's answered a lot of questions i've had both about dmt and ayahuasca it's also like i said you pulled the stank off of it because you hear all these people like let's go do i and i'm like also they're not doing it in any way like you did with someone who's there you know they're just

fucking out there they're doing it with they're doing people that don't speak english that don't have ceremony that just go drink it and lay there they're they're experiencing things that they don't understand around people that aren't equipped to do the last time i did it it's fucking insane dude like last time i did it it's like hitting me hard right like really hard and a the shaman sent over a woman that does um uh it's the tobacco thing that mapacho it's called that's the tobacco in brazil it's called mapacho that was the thing up your nose yeah but this is that's like ash i think it's whatever but she smokes a pipe and then blows into your crown chakra your net and like i was fucked up and i got like cleared really yeah in six minutes and then i looked at her and she was like i just moved a lot of energy in you

like she was like hold on to this whatever like some herb some herb. And I was like, okay. Like my friend sat, I mean, the same ceremony. This is where I just sound like a fucking goofball. But you don't. I know everyone feels like a goofball. So wait, I'm literally on the medicine before the smoke woman came, the real woman who helped me with the Mupatcha ceremony. And I swear to God, my eyes are closed.

Female spirit came up and then my friend sat down male spirit i get cleared and and i look at my friend i go hey you brought someone in with you and she goes yeah it's my twin brother who died and just shit where it's like i don't even fuck with this right like this isn't if you said nothing about that you don't get that answer either of course not but like damn i don't know who the one who the this first woman was twin brother who died shit yeah like who she's like he attached to me last night it was her birthday okay so this is going to be a very interesting question we're going to wrap up here but now this is your first time here i ask everybody

advice to give to their 16 year old self so 16 year old neil brendan's in the fucking throes of catholic high school literally a sophomore probably around that time sophomore junior and now after everything we've just talked about with ayahuasca, DMT, all this stuff, what advice would you fucking give 16-year-old Neil Brennan? Probably try to control your impulses more and talk less and be less... Desperate. Like, less desperate socially and interactively with people. Like, less... I told somebody that I always felt like I came into every interaction 20 points down. And I had to like...

And just like, dude, just... You're gonna be good. It's all... It's the thing that. Shit works. It all works out in one way, shape or form. Like it all is cool. So just chill out, work hard and pursue that. But like.

You're fine. Yeah, you're fine. Yeah. Yeah, you're fine yeah you're fine yeah yeah you're fine you're not gonna believe it right you're you may not feel fine but i promise you you're fine i promise you that's great advice because you also you don't realize till you get older like who knows what the fuck bullshit that person carried into this conversation you know what i mean everyone's going through their own filters of insecurities and uncertainties and all those things yeah this has been a fucking fantastic episode thank you very much um plug and promote everything one more time again for the shows no charlotte no florida no ohio and um and uh blocks on on the podcast platforms and YouTube. Great.

Yep. Thank you. Thank you, buddy. It was a great episode. Yep. Thanks for having me. Really appreciate it. Glad I could do it.

As always, RyanSickler.com, Ryan Sickler on all your social media. We will talk to you all next week.