The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Shane Torres - HoneyTorres

Episode Date: February 12, 2024

My HoneyDew this week is comedian Shane Torres! (Blue Eyed Mexican, No Accounting for Taste) Shane Highlights the Lowlights of the death of both his parents. SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://youtube.com/@rsickler SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew What’s your story?? Submit at [e-mail] CATCH ME ON TOUR https://www.ryansickler.com/tour SUBSCRIBE to The HoneyDew Clips Channel http://bit.ly/ryansicklerclips SUBSCRIBE TO THE CRABFEAST PODCAST https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-crabfeast-with-ryan-sickler-and-jay-larson/id1452403187 SPONSORS: Rocket Money - Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to https://www.RocketMoney.com/HONEYDEW Ritual - Get 20% off your first month for a limited time at https://www.Ritual.com/HONEYDEW

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All right? That is the biz. You guys know what we're doing over here. We're highlighting the lowlights. I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers, and I am very excited to have this guest on today ladies and gentlemen for the first time please welcome jake torres welcome to the honey thank you man yeah you still got it baby it's been a minute trying yeah yeah sorry i'm still here better with age this great crab feast episode right here

yeah listen to that was a while ago yeah jesus well it's great to see you brother see you man thanks for having me. Thank you for being here. And please, before we get into whatever we're going to get into, plug, promote everything and anything. All of it. Okay. It's shanyscomedian.com. All tour dates there.

I'm always on the road. Shane tours across all social platforms. And then I have the podcast with Kyle Kinane called No Accounting for Taste where we defend things. People seem to shit on for no reason. So it's right in my wheelhouse. And then the big thing I'm here promoting is I got a new special coming out, The Blue-Eyed Mexican, produced by Bert and Leanne Kreischer. It'll be on YouTube December 10th. And that's the big thing.

I need you guys to see it. Well, let's talk about it for a second because I love that you guys are doing this. I love that Tom and Bert are doing this for people like it's so smart i know jeff tate's gonna have a special on tom's i believe one of those channels yeah one of those channels i think um or at least that's the idea and i think it's so smart because everyone that thinks you need an amazon or a netflix or a hulu or Hulu or even build your own YouTube, they're not wrong at all. But there's this whole thing where these guys have built an empire, this whole YMH thing. They've got over a million subscribers and you're special going on these channels.

It's a direct shot to very specific diehard comedy fans. It doesn't go into a hulu or an amazon where you know 20 of the audience might be there for true crime and watching res dogs or whatever right or documentaries or there's so many other things out there to see so it's specific to comedy fans it's it's also these podcasters they're the best fans in the world to die i love you man like they really do me like they love you like me. If you have one. Yep. I hear from the same people every week, every Monday.

I know people are listening to them. They're the best. Yeah. So good for you. Congrats on the special. Yeah. Bert and Leon are putting it out. And it'll be available where?

On YouTube. Mine and Bert Kreisch's YouTube channel as well as my YouTube channel. So Shane Torres, uh, and it's December 10th, big day. I'm gearing up trying to, so,

I mean, I think it'll already be out by the time this airs, but, uh, please go watch. Yeah, definitely. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm trying to, you know, I think I made something. I'm not the type to brag about my shit. I don't, I think I'm good, whatever. But I am proud.

I was going to say. I am proud of my piece of work. It's okay to be proud. Good. You should be. Yeah. So I'll put it up against anyone's. I am proud of it.

I'm not saying it. But it's good. Check it out. I think you'll like it. It's a little different. All right. Yeah, and we did it in a different space in a different kind of way. And it doesn't look like every special. It's not a big a big theater it's kind of nice and tight it was a small cool

room and uh uh jeff tomsik directed it and jordan uh jordan uh god damn it why can't jordan levy shot it it's like it looks great it looks different i think when people see it they'll be like this is a bit different than here's this giant act in this giant theater like so i hope you like it hope you know like come to it i just need you to come to it well you can tell i'm not great at plugging myself i do yeah nobody likes this part yeah i think so yeah yeah yeah this guy likes that guy yeah yeah he's good at it if you haven't thought of it you should be selling mud likes this part. I think so. This guy likes it. He's good at it too. If you haven't thought of it, you should be selling mud flaps out there all over. Come on. I'm going to text him and Leanne.

For real. You think that's perfect? I want 10% of your mud flap cut. Okay. I just want 10% of the mud flap only cut. Look, that would be great mudflaps. It'd be sick. Truckers everywhere.

That's the new Yosemite saying, bro. And he already did the drive-in tour. Yeah. Yeah, that's great. Truckers around the country would be like, how much does it cost to make mudflaps? I don't know, but Burke could figure it out. Yeah, he figures everything out. That guy's smart.

All right, let's talk a little bit about you, because I know what we're going to get to. But before we get to that, a little bit about you, where you're from, parents, brothers, sisters, things like that growing up. Like, broad strokes, I'm from Fort Worth, Texas, south side. But I haven't lived there in 20 years, so I guess I'm from all over a little bit. Fort Worth, Texas, south side. But I haven't lived there in 20 years, so I guess I'm from all over a little bit. And then my folks, my mom was from Ireland. My dad was second generation Mexican-American, maybe third.

I don't know. And then I got two brothers, older and younger. I'm right in the middle, and we really couldn't be more different than one another. All same parents? Yeah another all same parents yeah yeah all same parents um uh they're very uh it's interesting in this way of like we all look exactly alike and not alike at all like they're both like we have the same kind of face but they're both like you all look like a distorted version of each other yeah yeah like um they look like if you stare at me long enough you'll see my older brother yeah oh there he is yeah yeah yeah but but they all they both look like they have they have like much darker they have like they lean

more towards the mexican side they have darker skin and darker eyes and darker hair this is the blue-eyed what is it called the blue-eyed mex Mexican. All right. Yeah, we wanted something Google-able. Can you speak Spanish? No. No. I think it was – my grandparents spoke it, and I think my dad understood it. But it was that time in – I don't know if people really notice this. There was a time where it was more important for people to assimilate if they were from another country than be Latino openly. My grandparents never spoke Spanish in public.

Is that right? Yeah, like that was like you don't you want to be like them you don't want to come here and like we look they won't it's Texas it's the south so it's a little different I think but it's like it was one of these things like no we don't we assimilate we learn like you know like

my great parents, you learn the language. You speak English outside, you whisper Spanish inside. And it's true, so it's kind of like a detriment to me. I would love to learn how to speak Spanish. I'd love to do a Latino comedy jam and surprise everyone,

but that'd be a good move for me. Whole new market. So what did your dad do um i kind of wish i knew but oh is that right he was like um was he absent father was he was there no like it's weird so to be fair it's like um he was there till we were like i was like 11 or 12 and then he kind of like just couldn't get his shit together and so i think my mom wrote it as long as she could with him and then was like he's fucking up money he's fucking up everything he can't he tried to be a salesman he sold like roofing shit in texas and like other things

like that but he just i put in my way of like my father is was a dude, but just could not meet his responsibilities as a man. Short on money, short on... He was that kind of dude. If he had $2, dude, he thought he had $50, and he spent like that. It was a dangerous person to be. And he was a good guy. I love my dad, but I have a lot of issues with that yeah that shit and he's um uh yeah he just couldn't do it you know like he was like he wasn't

you know when someone is just kind of seems like um like beaten like they've lost like they're not into trying and he's more feed yeah they've had their heart broken too many times i think that was like kind of what my father like he just never kind of found his footing in the world yeah so it's kind of um so your mom took you guys then she sort of get you away or he bounced he they split they they divorced but like it wasn't like a dramatic thing like um well i mean it was but it wasn't like we didn't take off in the middle of the night it wasn't like a j-lo movie or anything you know it was like he's just like it wasn't it wasn't enough or whatever yeah yeah the other blue-eyed mexican i think she's um but it was one of those things that like and then he couldn't he's never got it to fucking gather. I don't like.

What do you mean never? Is he still alive? No, they're both dead. Yeah. Both are. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So. Gunfight. Who died last? Who died last? My mom through sheer tyranny of will. Wait. So you say he never got it together. So he leaves your life when he's around 12 does he

leave like does he go out of texas he goes no he stays in texas but he's like not very pre this is like kind of heartbreaking but i remember like he was just lost like my mom was lost we were all like i liken it to like we were all tethered to one another like our ship went down and we tied ourselves together so nobody floated away but we're all still in the to one another. Like our ship went down and we tied ourselves together. So nobody floated away, but we're all still in the sea in the middle of the night. Like, and everybody is like looking for any, anything to hold on to.

So he, you know, he drifted out for a while and he was in and out. Like I would see him like, I can't really put a number on it, but I would say like sometimes twice a year, and then sometimes every month. And when you're seeing him, are you going to- It's very erratic, is what it is.

Are you going to his place? Is he coming by the house? Are you going to do things together? Yeah. This is one moment where I think I might have told this on the craft piece, but I'm not sure. No, I don't remember that. But he, so we lost the house. It got that bad?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, we lost the house. And then my dad was like, I'm going to go stay with my buddy for a bit then i'll figure it out i was like okay whatever you know how would you say your dad is at this time too by the way um do you have kids young if i was if i was let's say i was 12 or 13 it's probably close to like late 40s somewhere in there okay yeah yeah like my mom were around the same age as he was like a year difference but like and he uh so he was in and out and he would come by and they'd worked out like visitation stuff you know like but it wasn't like it wasn't like if like you

can't it's not your day like it wasn't that kind of like but it was more like dude you're not doing shit you're not contributing in any fucking way like he was back on child support he was back on all this shit like he just didn't have he made a mess of everything like he told my mom he paid taxes one year it just didn't yeah i think he might have done it more than one year you know like yeah shit like that you know and like my mom like do you remember having your house taken do you remember how to leave that home yeah it was it's weird how old were you we were roughly i think it was 13 yeah also your eighth grade yeah yeah maybe 12 or 13 yeah no we were yeah we were grown enough to know we're not losing any memories from that time sadly it would have been nice to be too what are your parents telling

you leading up to it they go uh well they go, I kind of don't remember what they told us about the house, but I knew we were leaving. And to their credit, they never dogged each other out to us. Like never like to their credit, even though they both had barrels pointed at one. Like, I really don't. Like, my mom never. Maybe once. You know, she'd say something like, your fucking father. But, like, that was. But she never got into too many details about it.

And my father never did that with my mom either. So, like, really. Like, maybe once or twice. I remember, like, snippy shit. Not, like, details. But I knew we were losing the house because that was like i remember that being like the the point of the divorce like the the like one of the reasons and uh you know it's like weird because like there was always money problem we were always

you know like the phrase we can't afford it was like as common as I love you in my probably more so you know like yeah yeah yeah like yeah we can't afford it we can't afford it like okay I guess I'll just go outside you know like and um I remember like one time my mom was a night nurse and my dad was like watching us where he was with us one night and he goes, we were like eating like some shitty dinner, like soup and like, you know, like, like nothing. Not anyone would really looks forward to when they're 10 and he goes, he goes, he goes, you know, we, you know, normally I'd get us hamburgers, but like your, your mom took the checkbook away from me. And I was like, that's fucking emasculated as shit, dude. away from me and i was like that's fucking emasculated as shit dude like you know like and she shoulda you know like but like it's like also like you're taking the house away from us yeah the city's taking the house mom's taking the checkbook i got no hamburgers

fucking terrible three kids a wife and he was gambling like that yeah and i know like i don't know what he couldn't do with money right you know like i don't like i don't think he was a degenerate like i just don't know if he ever figured it out you know why don't you know we just didn't the family doesn't talk about that shit like we just never did but i mean like it's all died with them. Right. But I'm saying, do you not know because you lost complete touch at a certain point and stopped seeing them? No, we can't.

Like, I made amends with my father. You did? Yeah, like later on in my late 20s before he died. We got to a place where I was like, you're all right, but you can die now. Yeah, yeah. You can die now. Just fucking pull that shit out of the wall. All right, I got one die now. Yeah, yeah. You can die now. Just fucking pull that shit out of the wall.

All right, I got one of these. But he – Look at the old God pat on the back. Say hi to Pawpaw for me. He wasn't so – like, he wasn't a bad dude. He just couldn't do his shit. And it's like – so he was out. And he like – I mean, he coached our soccer teams when we were little. He liked that shit.

He bet on y'all. Did he? No. He probably did. That's why we lost the house if he did. My fat little legs and no lateral movement. But he got out of the house, and then he was coming back around, and then we kind of was in and out.

And then I remember he showed up one day in his car, and it was filled with – and I've told this somewhere. His car was filled with shit, and I was like, what's going on? I guess you're moving. And he had to move into a shelter. No. Yeah. So, I mean, he – He really was.

Yeah, yeah. And he like nobody – I think it was one of these things that like my grandparents were still around at this time and my my his parents yeah yeah and my aunt was still around his sister at this time but like everybody was kind of tired of like i was gonna say that's hard to love right yeah yeah like and that's what it is you know like if you're going to a shelter man yeah it's like i take care you gotta want you gotta love you yeah if you i'm what i'm saying is some people obviously need them but if you're an able-bodied person who could really it has a family and you're a handyman you get the fuck out there and make some money yeah he just didn't

like i think it's weird i just don't think he knew how to do it like like like so like nobody was like so i fucking i moved my dad into a shelter you helped him yeah yeah i think he was he came by i think he was feeling like if i'm being candid i think he was being very feeling very sorry for himself and i get it like if i had to move into a homeless shelter i don't think i'd be like i can't imagine my daughter having to move me into a homeless shelter yeah i i was mad about it for years you know i did you visit him there yeah so this is where this once or twice i moved like i tell this in a bit in the story so i won't go through all of it like the the non-humor part of it is like i think he was just

like nobody's fucking helping me anymore i'm alone you know i think he was just scared and alone you know like and i'm like but not scared enough to want to step up and do something i don't think he knew yeah i think he couldn't figure out how to do feel everything at once you know like uh so we give him the shelter i mean i still every time i'm home i still drive by that shelter like like on purpose like i don't have to see. I go, like, this is a fucking... Be a worker. Like, you know, like, be a fucking worker.

You know, it's right there. Man, that's some fucking motivation. Yeah. And it's, I mean, it's still there. Yeah. And those people are still, like... And we move them in there, and we get them in, and it's like... His room is, like, not even the size of this.

I was going to say, describe. So it's not this open... his room is like not even the size of this i was gonna say describe it so it's not this open no no it's not like there is the way i recall it and i hope i'm doing this right it's over off lancaster i have in fort worth and we go in like my dad goes i'm supposed to ask for so and so and the guy got the forget about that me that's me he goes what are you looking for my dad goes i'm looking for a room and he goes there's uh open cot like kind of like like a gi hall or something you know like where soldiers would it just feels like everybody's in there your shit's under your bed and then there were like smaller it was was like imagine if there was a like a bunch of plywood across the wall of this room here and you were on one side of it and i was on the other but

i could throw like my like there was like a space because the ceiling was high right so they basically just built dividers yeah yeah and uh he was in there and he was like i mean we just went in there i put all of it went in there put all of his shit in there and uh he was like sorting stuff and he goes uh like go down the car grab some more shit and i was like all right you know and i didn't care like i didn't feel like unsafe there you know like that's like a i was sad you were leaving was sad. You were leaving, bro. You just, you were leaving. You were going home, bro.

Oh, God. We were all homeless. Oh, man. But I thought it was like, that's like a misconception about those places. There's like rough people in there, but most people are just like fucking down on their luck. And they haven't gotten good hands played to them. So I get in. I go in the car, grab stuff.

And this is... I have a bunch of shit. And this guy walks in the elevator. And he's like, I'm by myself. And I'm like 12 or 13. And he goes, you're kind of young to be moving in here alone and i was like oh no i have a home like i didn't like i said shake my keys it's got a yard yeah but it was like one of these things that was like i didn't even mean it like that but then my dad like called me a few months later and he like got out of the shelter and he moved in with that guy ah yeah yeah yeah yeah like this is like

this is where it gets in the bit but he moved in with that guy and another guy and he couldn't stay there long like it was wild dude like that how like i was like you were there yeah because he got an apartment and like i just love that you're always going to see you never wrote him off to the point where you're like fuck it all together like nah i'm too soft i'm too soft for it yeah like like in that space but your mom did your mom was strong enough to be like i'm divorcing you got to get you out of here yeah yeah like and not like you'll never see these boys again right but you're not good on it you're not doing like yeah we're all drowning and you're putting your hands on our head even though you're just panicking like and that's like so that's what you had to do but like i mean i remember his apartment that he moved into after that you remember the uh in the wire the

apartments like the flatland apartment like it looked just like that jesus yeah like it just run down his shit yeah uh it wasn't like the wire you know what i mean but it was like it was poor nobody had money everybody you know like this was like all right people are paying 200 bucks a month to live here let's just try and keep the needles off the ground so kids like that or whatever kind of shit it was you know it wasn't it wasn't like violent but it was like not nice like it was like shitty and run down and poor is what i would say and then eventually he got out of there and this is where it gets all weird he fucking he married oh my mom was an irish nurse and he meets this woman my dad kind of gets his dinner and she was a scotch irish nurse so he's like got it like yeah

he goes straight 1a to 1b he Michael's not feeling it tonight. Give the ball to Scotty. That woman lives three blocks from where my mom got it. I swear to God, dude. One lives in my mom's house and one lives in the house of my dad. I swear to God. They're two blocks from one another.

He definitely met this woman after? Yeah. 100, 100%. Yeah. Are you serious? That's wild. Yeah, yeah. I think my dad was like, well, this was the closest it came to working. Let's try it again.

And then that marriage. Did it work? They died married, I think. They? They died together? No. I mean, like they. Gotcha.

But I think their marriage was like one of these things of like you're not in good health i'm not in good health we like liked each other at first and now it's just kind of been in this place of like well let's see each other through like we'll each call someone if we'll call the hospital like it wasn't they slept in different rooms you know like yeah that kind of shit uh and i remember i think i was like maybe 23 or 20 yeah around 22 23 like i just turned like into the age where i was drinking and boozing a lot and uh i lived back with him in that house for a few months and what was that like betsy my stepmom she was a nice lady but man she's fucking like just a weird

she's just a character like like could not have been sweeter but just be like every one time i was like we were trying to get to this place where like i want to know about your health dad like we were trying to get back there you know and they go in and i was like take care of yourself. We were trying to get there. And he goes, okay. He goes, you want to come to my doctor's appointment with me? And I go, yeah, yeah. And he goes, Bessie's coming too.

And I go, okay. And then we're sitting in there and she just goes, so Simon, your sugar is blah, blah, blah. And the doctor goes, any other questions? And Bessie goes, yeah, he's shooting blanks right now. And I was like, oh, I don't even know everything. Like, that's the kind of woman she was, dude. And I swear to God, I was like, I'm fucking moving out of this house. This is worse than the shelter.

It was brutal. And when he died, he had a stroke and had to fly back to Oregon. Or from Oregon. It was like a whole fucking thing. It was brutal. And it was like days long. And everybody was like fighting about what to do because he was like incapacitated. And no one was going to.

He wasn't coming back. The doctor was just kind of like. He'll live, but it's going's gonna be yeah yeah you're just on a machine yeah yeah pretty much person and then uh so he was there and um they moved me to hospice and they asked me to sign the paperwork because there was something missing and i wasn't like it was like my stepmom or my aunt were the two and my mom was there too like they got past it like she helped because she was a nurse uh but i was the only one there and the guy came up to me he was like hey we need you to sign this paperwork so when he and i was like

ah fuck it i couldn't do it like i let it go like for all the shit all the baggage i had with him because we went in out i was like i was like i remember i called my mom freaking out and she was like don't sign that fucking paper Like you're not going to forgive yourself. And then, uh, I was there with my grandmother and I can't remember who else was there. I think my little brother and maybe my, my niece. And, uh, I really can't remember, but I remember my grandma was there and he just, he went, you know, and like, it was just such a fucking bummer. We all go home.

And the next day my stepmother calls me and she goes, Hey, your dad, you know, like, was it good with money? I got to go take care of this stuff at the bank. Will you drive me over there? I was like, yeah, I'll come get you right now. We're like, we'll plan the funeral. And like, we'll do all this stuff. We go in the bank and uh the greeter at the

bank goes how we doing today and the best he just goes i'm okay my husband died yesterday and just walked right by and i was like looking at her he's he ain't shooting bikes anymore the greeter goes what he she goes oh i'm doing all right my husband died yesterday she just walked straight up like i need to talk to someone. And he fucking, like, I mean, they were in such debt and everything. When he went, it was, like, such a fucking mess. But, like, so that was it. Like, he, like, just couldn't do it. Like, I got there with him.

Like, we figured it out. But I had, like, real fucking animosity letting us fucking twist in the wind for all the year. Yeah. If I asked you how many subscriptions you have, would you be able to list all of them and how much you're paying? If you would have asked me this question before I started using Rocket Money, I would have said, yep. But let me tell you, I would have been so wrong. I can't believe how many I had and all the money I was wasting. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills. I can see all my subscriptions in one place, and if I see

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them yeah and you had your and your dad died when you were younger. Yeah. Yeah. So you need that. I worry about that a lot in this way of you need somebody there to kind of walk you through it. It's not easy. Just figuring it out on your own. And we were young enough, and we all got in scrapes and messes and all that kind of stuff.

And we're fine. I think we're decent. But it's like, dude, my little nephew, he doesn't have any women in his life. His mom's passed on. My mom's gone. I wonder what it's going to be like for him. He's the sweetest kid in the world. And he's 12 now.

But I wonder what it's going to be like for him. He needs to be around women to know how to be around women. You know, like a little bit. And he's a good kid. I don't think he's going to be a weirdo. He just has good nature to him. But it's one of these things. It's like, how do we?

I did that. My mom, I think she kind of taught me how to be a man in the best way she could. But I wonder how someone's gonna like my nephew's gonna have that kind of like foresight and learn how to like treat people be like when he doesn't have a lot of women in his life and it's like it's not his fault and it's not wrong my brothers are doing a good job with him but it's like one of these things it's like you need to know like you need this role model there you need somebody yeah you need you need somebody to show you like this is how we like i can't teach you everything because i don't know everything i need other

people around and uh so that was like that was his thing he just like my dad was trying like i think he liked doing the little kid stuff like soccer games and that kind of shit but i don't think he liked you know when it gets everybody gets a little older and hairier and you start taking longer showers and shit i don't think that i don't think he was ready for that yeah so what was mom like uh she's a she's my hero so yeah yeah yeah she um so she was an immigrant she was from ireland she came here uh to be a nurse i think think 60s maybe 70s uh real like hard work like that kind of like really hard worker uh night shift like labor and delivery and women's health like it was important that was like a big marker of her personality to be uh she was proud of being a nurse, you know, like, so like

very proud of it. Um, she, uh, but in massive, uh, depression issues. So like, So like, I think I remember one time we talked about it after like we were up for, I was like asking her all these questions about like the day after my dad died. I was like up with her. We were just having a drink and like, and I was like, well, you know, I asked her everything. Like, I was like, he's dying. I want to know this stuff. And I was like, did he ever cheat on you? And she goes, not that I'm aware of, which kind of is an answer that makes me think, like, maybe, but not, you know, like, that kind of shit.

And, but my mom had, like, massive depression issues. So, like, she was in a haze for, like, five years after, like, the divorce. Is that right? Yeah, like, worked her ass off and always loved us, you know, but like my brothers were getting like wild shit and trouble. And she's like, uh,

to be fair to my brother, like anytime they got caught, like would they got both got expelled and they did all this stuff. Like anytime they got caught with something, my mom was from a town, a village of like 200 people in ireland so like if somebody had pot it was like jesus mary and like my my it's eternal damnation catholic kind of shit so like i don't want to say she overreacted but she i don't think

she made it easy on people when they fucked up so like uh but she just like she worked so fucking hard what'd she do she's a nurse yeah just nurse only i mean was she doing night jobs too no no no no like it was weird like she would work the night shift because my brother my older brother got kicked out and you know like and then it was like and then i think my younger brother was like if i remember correctly was like staying with my dad for a bit or maybe my like it was just like shit like they were always i was easier to i was yeah and i was easier to get along with like i didn't get in much trouble with consequence you know but my brothers were were fairly wild i think they had a reputation so did she ever remarry or have a boyfriend or she dated one guy for like

three dates and she was like i'm not doing this shit again oh yeah like you didn't chase him away no she was like fuck we i wanted her to like yeah made me sad like i i don't think uh because i remember one time i was like do you ever want to do that you know like because i got a little older and she goes it's just not worth the trouble to me and i was like and it made me so fucking sad dude like because she was great like so i thought some she deserved to be with somebody but yeah i think she's i think that's the thing her and my dad hadn't come more than anything they both had their hearts broken so many times that they just couldn't fucking do it anymore you know like yeah it fucked her up real good and proper

like and then so she would work night shift and that's like when it started getting pretty like it wasn't wild like what's night shift is it overnight 7p to 7a like so you guys are like you're taking care of yourself yeah yeah yeah and like and to her credit she was like look this is just the way it is like you know and to her credit she was three of you two yeah yeah and like and like uh and it was like she just goes like this is the way it is and like you know like more than once you'd be like there's other moms in this situation who don't have a job as good as mine like she was like you know like it's a very irish material to be be grateful for what you got even if it's not a lot you don't like uh so she like she fucking did the night shift bringing babies

every night you know like and we would like that's when you like and that's like a rough like we're 14 that's the house you can go to and get fucked up at night you know like if she's gone you know and a couple times like she came home from work early and it was like a fucking armaged dude it was so scary she goes crazy oh she was like get the fuck out of my she's like just and then like i remember one time my brother like was like why are you doing like i couldn't believe he was standing up. I was like, you're wrong. Yeah, you're wrong. Like, just fucking take the L, you know? But, I mean, she just, I think she was going through so much, and she would see, like, us, like, smoking pot or drinking beers was like, I'm doing all this to keep a roof over our heads.

There's a fucking massive amount of debt on the roster. Like, we may not be able to keep this. Credits probably. Yeah, yeah, shit like that, dude. Like, bankrupt. Like, you know, like, she had to borrow money from people. massive amount of debt on the roster like we may not be able to keep credits probably yeah yeah shit like that dude like bankrupt like you know like she had to borrow money from people to get straight and like because to her credit like my dad fucked us we lost the house on country manor then my mom found a really run-down house two blocks away and she was like

i gotta get money together to get this like down payment on this house like she's my dad's parents they gave her a cash loan hold up yeah you guys went from the nice house two blocks away to the yeah it's like your house yeah and you had to drive by that house all the time yeah it's my elementary school still on that street i don't you ever say have people say shit in here and you're like oh that is a big deal like to fucking drive by where happy used to live yeah yeah yeah that sucks i mean i i relate in the sense that when my mother left our family, she didn't leave the state or anything. She went like a mile and a half away.

It's insane. You can see them at the grocery store. That's what I say all the time. We're running into you at the store. Come on. Yes, like if you're going to fucking leave, commit and get the fuck out of here. Yeah, but this is Maryland, not Texas. But it's a toe in the pool kind of thing.

Yeah, like they're half in. But this is. It's Maryland, not Texas. But it's a toe in the pool kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah. Like they're half in. And. So, wow. You're driving by your old house all the time. And your poor mom's got to borrow money from the man who put you all in this. My dad.

Or his parents. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Borrow money from the man who. His. His folks. My kid. Put you in this situation.

Yeah. And he fucking. And I remember like, I didn't know how we got in the house. And I didn't think about it because I was 12. I was like, I guess this is where we live now. We're renting it. And it was a fucking dump. And like she rebuilt.

She did all of it. She got it back together. She was like – but like I remember like my grandparents weren't really in either. Like we weren't seeing anybody. Like we were just kind of like – my mom was like taking care of all of us i was i think it was a thing of like my grandparents and my aunt were like well you know he's our son he's my brother we have to side with him but this is they gave they didn't give her the money she got the money from them to pay it back and she's i'm sure there's no child support or anything he like dude she was like she told me

once and i don't know why i remember this she goes i'm asking for a hundred dollars a month for each of you there's 300 like you know and 25 bucks a week yeah and he was like and he fucking was not hitting it some months like yeah that's eight bucks a pop for the kids i mean this is struthers kind of shit like cup of coffee a day shit. But he just, he didn't have it. He couldn't figure it. Yeah. Like, we just took a beat.

And so like. And it's not like, here's the thing. There was no support for her outside of like. Yeah. Outside of like other Irish nurses she worked with. And any support she's watching declined. Yeah. He's going from homes to homeless shelter.

Yeah, and like he came back through. He got through it eventually to where he got to a no... Not really, but he had his moments where he kind of would get back on the bike. Yeah, but for himself. He's not helping your mom and you guys. He's not helping his family.

I mean, he got there a little bit, but it was like he married that woman. That's kind of how he was helping us through yeah her bring somebody else yeah yeah do this again that's it yeah yeah don't let her know the route we're gonna run the cincinnati dice game on her one more time but so there's no support there and uh we didn't know you know we were like fucking just had hair under our armpits like what are we supposed to do you know like we want to go see i want to go see bands i want to be this kind of person and she just there was no money for it and i remember like one time i went to see my grandparents and i hadn't seen them in fucking like it felt like years and they like

uh my and i was my dad was back in the picture for a bit at this and uh i go over and they like uh my and i was my dad was like back in the picture for a bit at this and uh i go over and they're like how are you getting so big and all this stuff and in my head i was like well fucking you might notice that if like you've been around like fuck y'all like i like and i love my grandparents but like there was this thing of like well you come to us you're a grandkid you're supposed to be obedient which is like there like, there's a logic to that. But the whole world's falling apart, and it's not easy for me to get a ride an hour away. They put a lot of responsibility on us that I don't really think was fair for being kids. Well, I mean, if they're not going to put the same responsibility on their own son, then why put it on kids?

Yeah. You know what I mean? That's a grown-ass man right there. Yeah. We got to side with them, do you? Yeah. Do you i mean they love them it's just what love does to you you know like you never really abandon your kids no matter how much they fuck up you know but i went over there i have a vivid memory of this man i went over there and it was like not um not tense like nobody was mad and you know like i didn't know really how to feel when I was going in there and they were

like, it's good. My grandmother was a sweet woman, but I think she might've been fairly, um, it's not a good word to use, but like obedient to what my grandfather wanted. And like,

we're there and they go, we have a, how are you? And I was like, everything, you know, mom's okay. Blah,

blah, blah. And then it comes out and he has a, a crown Royal bag, but there's not a bottle in it and he goes um uh hey your mother gave me all this stuff and i guess she didn't have the money to pay him on the schedule she wanted just all this like like family rings and stuff from she brought over like jewelry and he was like you can give this back to her i don't need this stuff and i was like you fucking give it back like i don't need this stuff and i was like you fucking give it back

like i don't like there was like this like thing of like i don't know why i need to be the messenger in this shit at all because i'm 14 you know like i'm not saying i'm too young to do that but it is one of these things are like you're making this way more dramatic than it needs to be and all this woman is trying to do is like you know know, like give you like this is worth money. I don't have cash right now. This is a brooch from my mom, from her mom. Like there's something here. So yeah, like this kind of shit because of your son.

And I'm fucking like dealing this shit. I'm like, yes. And then I have to go give my mom the bag. And I'm like, hey, grandpa gave me this, you know, and he's like, and that guy had no skills either. Like, like he knew how to be a hard worker, but he's like, fucking, he went into, he lied about his age to go to World War II because his house was so bad growing up. So like. Damn. Yeah.

Like. Think about that. Yeah. Like, so that's the kind of thing, you know, like they don't have skills. Like, I don't know. Like, I probably, I don't think I'll have kids at this point. Like, I'm a little. How old are you?

I'm 42. But when do you have your little girl? 41. Yeah. 40, 41. It's over. It's not over. Yeah.

And maybe I will, but. Do you want them? I want them with the right person. I don't just want them. Like, I know that. Do you want them? I want them with the right person. I don't just want them. I know that. But my dad didn't have certain skills, and my grandfather didn't have certain skills.

But I don't think my grandfather took the belt to my dad as much as his dad took it to him. The ship is going in the right direction in some ways and then it's a generational change a lot of the time with like that kind of shit so you know i think i might be able to do some of the things that they were bad if i had a kid that they were really bad at better than them but that's because that you know the mistakes they made like i learned from those too. So they don't have it. They just could never nail that shit.

Like they just didn't have the – no one taught them how to do it and they didn't know what to do with it. So they just pushed it down. And I have like a lot of that. Sometimes I don't want to think about a problem anymore. I don't need it solved. I just need to not – I don't want to think about a problem anymore. I don't need it solved. I just need to not. I don't need to know why I'm doing it or why I have these problems.

Sometimes I'm just so fucking beat up by it. I'm exhausted by it. I'm like, can it just stop hurting? I don't have to fix it, but can it just stop hurting? You don't need to know why everything happens. Yeah. It's a fucking beating. So tell me about your mom. You said both your parents are gone what happened to your mom um it was

five six years ago uh give me a second i was home i was working a club in fort worth i took the gig because it was uh her birthday week she still lived in fort worth yeah yeah yeah so um i came home work a club uh and i took the gig just to work the weekend like and be close to like to be close to her on her birthday we do it it goes great like we go to dinner and remember i took her to this place called eller bees on magnolia because she became a nerd she eventually back and got a nurse practitionership, which is more money. And to celebrate, she was like, I'm not cooking Christmas dinner this year, but let's go to a nice dinner. She took us to this place and it was really great. So I took her there years later for like a birthday.

That's nice. Yeah. And I remember she's like, you sure you don't want to stay at the house? I was like, nah, it's like the hotel is close. I don't have to commute and all this stuff. She goes, okay, and she drops me off at the hotel. I go to the shows, and I'm doing shows all weekend, and I'm like, I'll spend Sunday with you, you know, like Saturday,

and like Saturday night in between shows, and my brother tells me, hey, mom's not doing good because I'm taking her to the hospital. I was like, all right. Like, let me know. Like, I'm at work. I'll come wherever, you know. And he goes, she's back at home. She's doing okay. And I was like, cool.

And then, so I go to sleep. And I had, like, too many drinks that night. And the next morning, I just woke up with, like, emails just, like, not emails, texts, just, like, fucking moms of the hospital. Like, get your ass here. So I fucking bolt over to the hospital that she was at. And my brothers are there. And I'm like, what's going on? She had something with her stomach.

And this is just out of nowhere? Yeah. My mom was, like, in relatively good health for a woman her age you know like like she wasn't too heavy she wasn't none of that shit you know like pretty solid this isn't some decline no she'd had like a stomach surgery before but it was like not a fucking emergency you know like and we're all like okay and we go in there we're like we're telling her we love her and all this kind of and we're like the doctor seemed calm so i don't remember a sense of urgency from the very get-go and uh she went in we like we said uh she was catholic i am not

catholic we do the our, that kind of thing. She goes in. Doctor comes out and it's like, she made it through. Everything's like, got it. No issues. And I was like, we're like fucking thank God. What was it? Got it.

It was like, she had a hardening of her intestine, if I remember correctly. So like, she wasn't digesting. So I think that was causing blockages. I see. And she, so they had to remove part of it and then like sew it back up i think is if i have it right uh but some other stomach something like that and fucking they go we're gonna keep her in this area for a little bit then we'll move upstairs then she'll be like she's gonna come out of anesthesia and we're like great and then we

can like get her home and we just got to be around to like you know give her a fucking it's like see her through this and i was like right and uh i remember man she just fucking and this was in a hospital like she'd worked in and like delivered babies in and uh she just wasn't coming out of it the way they want like she was there was some consciousness but more or less she's like fairly comatose like and this went on for like a month. Whoa. Yeah.

Because her birthday was on the 7th. She went in on the 10th. And then she died on the 20th of January. So like we were like fighting, man. I'm sorry. So she never really came out of the anesthesia completely yeah never became herself again yeah like it was like she talked a little bit you know but like and there's times where like seemed like she was doing good and the fucking peaks and valleys of

it were like and what do they explain that well i'm like yelling at doctors like well what the fuck like tell us something and they're like we don't know they have like a virology like all these different kinds of doctors coming through it i remember like making a plan of like it's because one doctor be like well we don't think it's like you know we don't think it's um intestinal anymore and we're like okay and we so they'll be like maybe it's the vibe it's maybe it's vibe maybe there's a bag like it was always one of these things and we're like and they kept going we have to see what the next person says so i was like well one of you needs to fucking say something this is insane and i remember like i had to like i bought a bunch of

different colored post-it notes because it was so confusing i couldn't keep it on my head and be like all right blue is what we're gonna ask this doctor green is what we're gonna ask this doctor and like so on and so on i was like and i just put it up on the wall and then it was like it at least i don't know if it was a good it made me feel like i was doing something in a comp like moving in the right direction and that was a really big peace of mind for me because like um we couldn't stay at the hospital for a little bit. We had to stay in the waiting room or something like that. And then they had to like, she just wasn't fucking waking up, man.

It was awful. And like her friends, this is like one of the only times I fucking laughed this whole month. All of her friends were Irish, English, and Scottish nurses. Like they all, when Fort Worth was becoming a bigger city, they recruited medical professionals from the UK. Oh, is that right? That's why some of them are there. Not all of them, but like some of them.

So like all of these Irish, English, and Scottish women came over, young nurses, met these Texas guys, all married, all their husbands died before. They came to this country together and they're all leaving together. They've all put their husbands in the ground. And, like, they came in, and they were all, like, fucking. And I think my mom was, like, maybe the first one of them to go. And they were all, like, crying and, like, you know, like that.

But fucking they were also all, like, my mom was, like, lifeless. But they were all bickering over my mom's, like like my mom's more or less in a vegetative state and they're like that's not how that hot happened carbo like they're just going back and forth fucking one of my mom's best friends lit a cigarette inside no yeah she goes and they're like looking at her she goes well i worked here when we sold them like yeah like she's just like they they're too old to give a fuck their husbands are dead nobody's gonna tell them anything they can you know and it was like it was kind of like there was some continuity and seeing them like still be there for each other at the end of this and they weren't all close anymore

and they wouldn't it wasn't all roses but they did love each other what was the cause of death what did they like complications of surgery bullshit like but she fucking that's just it like they were like we she was old and like i mean like my brother like got a lawyer and was like we're not just letting you say like she was old you know like and i mean that's what that's what what it was like she did it was like her body gave out like it was time you know like it was too much was she 72 or 73 it was i think it was too intensive a surgery to come back from yeah and she like she was in and out i remember like the fucking oh the last thing she ever said

to me was like i'll never work again which yeah that that the last thing i remember her saying to me truly yeah so and then like we moved like i remember i had to like i wasn't supposed to be gone from new york for a month you know like it wasn't i was supposed to be like working so i was in texas like flying moving all these flights around trying and canceling all these tour dates my shout out to my old uh agent tj he found me every he put me in every club in tex Texas he could that was within a two-hour flight. We thought she was going to recover and I would just be coming home a lot. she was

going. I was like, I don't know, maybe the second weekend of the year I was like, I have to go make money. I flew up to Portland to do the gigs. Then I was going to fly to New York because my lease was up. I have to go make money I flew up to Portland do the gigs then I had to I was gonna fly to New York because my lease was up so I had to move into my new apartment and then I was like I'll come back a couple days so I do the weekend get a little break from freaking out about all this stuff just work work work

and then I fly to New York as soon as I my brother goes, you got to call me right now. And I go, what's up? And he goes, the doctors want to do like a call. Like mom's brain is gone. Like she's not coming out of it. And like, okay, we jump on the call. I get into New York. I red-eyed to New York, get in, move all my shit out of my apartment, into my new apartment, take a call.

But then they're like, she's not going to come out of my apartment into my new apartment take a call but then they're like she's not gonna come out of this like and they're like we're gonna you need to get here so then i jump on a flight fly down to texas that night we go like she's in hospice and i don't know if hospice is what exactly what it was but it was like when we get in and then uh yeah she went like five or six hours later she did yeah you were there yeah that's nice at least you have to be there for that would you rather you weren't there no i mean i wish i wish i never saw it. Yeah. But. You actually did go in the room. Yeah. We set it out. Yeah. It's weird because we were in there and we were like, it's grim.

So you're talking and laughing and you're doing whatever you can. We're like, this sucks. And my brothers and I are in there. And then the nurse comes in. I'm like, I don't want to be more of it, but how long does this take? It can be days you know like i saw people have party in here last week you know and then she went and they just like you kind of see the moment like because like she would like move like kind of like and then you just see it come and it's like, fuck, it's exhausting.

It's brutal, dude. You're making me fucking have flashbacks now. I remember when, and I'm sorry, I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I remember I stayed home. My grandmother had a heart attack in front of us and I stayed back with the paramedics and fire department police to give the report while my brother rode in the ambulance with her to go to the hospital and she didn't make it and when we get to the hospital they tell us that we can come back and see her yeah but we know the last time i saw her she was alive she wasn't doing well but she had collapsed in front of me but was alive and i'm giving her cpr it's your father's mom yeah yeah but she was like our mom our mom split from the family so she did the rearing yeah and

now we got to go back and see her and i just remember it's just you know it's personal to you yeah and it's a weight you know like it's a personal to you but also they're in a hospital where they deal with this shit all day long and she's on a gurney with a sheet over her. I'll never forget. I don't know why they did this. It was up to her neck like this or heads out. But they left the fucking mouthpiece in her mouth where they would do the CPR. Yeah.

And I'm like, what the fuck? It just looks cold. Yeah. It looks like an apple stuffed in my grandmother's mouth. Like, I felt like that. Like, you fucking piece of shit. Yeah. And you're telling us to come my grandmother's mouth. Like, I felt like that, like you fucking piece of shit. Yeah, like. And you're telling us to come back and see this?

Like, whoops, we left that. Yeah. Fuck off. I had a, you're so, and it's a human mistake. It is. And it's fucking careless and stupid and shitty. But I'm like, you're so mad about that shit too. So mad.

Especially if you're going to do that to my grandma and disrespect my grandma. You know what I mean? Yeah, go fuck yourself you don't want to protect this person and yeah and they're gone they're not even there and my fucking brothers and i like we almost muscled out of my mom was catholic and they we need to bring somebody in for last rites and we bring this priest in and he like comes in and he does this thing i remember he says this shit because because you know she was like in and out mostly out of i remember he says this shit he goes because you know she was like in and out mostly out of consciousness just like laying there but like was responding very rarely ever so often this priest comes in he goes uh kate uh what i need you to do now is like

i'm father so and so blah blah blah he goes what i need you to do now is think of all the uh sins you may have committed and i like right then i was like this mother like all she did was bring babies into this world the thing you guys give the biggest fuck about and when they're about eight nine years old you fuck them yeah you fuck them and in this building like you know like and he's just being a like he's also she's dying don't put negative yeah i was like think about all the things she did in this place guilt and carry over yeah it's like i'll fuck out of here yeah and then my brother and i were like looking at him and he wrapped it up fucking quick like like like because it was like he's just doing the thing he's told to do the way he's supposed to do it it's his

fucking indoctrinated bullshit and i know he doesn't mean it like oh you were a bad person like but it's like hey fucking pull your head out of your ass for a moment like yeah yeah like i absolved this fucking dick like and like and he left and we were like you know like i was like fuck this guy forever fuck this church for like already that way but like and it was a human mistake on his i don't it's the same thing as the mouthpiece like he's saying it and he's not thinking about like it's routine to him for something but it's also like fuck you do you dude like that's not yeah go into the good on this like so but i mean and i was also so mad that whole month right that's what it is yeah like you're in rage and i was like i mean

if i wasn't staying at the hospital like in the waiting room if it was one of my brother's shifts i would like go straight once they let up i had to leave i'd go straight to the gym and i'd go run for like and lift and then in this shitty part of town and there was this dumb fucking bar called yups and i would go drink at that bar and then i would like go home and do it like dude that was like my i remember i was like clocking in i'd leave the hospital clock out go to the gym run clock it go to the bar like you know like and like there's i'm sure there was other shit in there that i do not remember you know well how do you celebrate your mom now um you have pictures of her around your home i have a memento i got one of that oh that's very nice yeah yeah and then um i have a couple of letters she wrote. So to you or.

Yeah. Like, uh, I have one. So when I moved to Oregon, like I was fucking really broken points and like doing the whole thing, like out of money, like just scrapping by however I could.

And I had to call her and ask for money one time. And it was the fucking worst. And she just, she goes, goes um i get paid on friday like i'll send you some money on like it'll be there soon you know and i was like okay and i remember it was like uh she was like i'm gonna give you 200 bucks and i was like that'll get me like that'll get me through like i can do it i just gotta like buckle down and she fucking uh she mailed me the money and uh and she goes the end of the note was like here's 180 i had to pull 20 out for gas you know like until she felt bad and then she gave me her um her wedding ring. She didn't know what to do with it. Like, I just want to say like come or something right now

So I can break this up I can't This is not my shit Like who's gay Who's gay I had to get that I couldn't I still have the letter

You still have the ring? Yeah, I didn't sell it Got close a couple of times But yeah Still got it locked up But you know She was just like I could never figure out what to do

With With This ring like i never i could never figure out what to do with uh with uh this ring you know like i'll never wear it again and i didn't want to like give it away or you know like and she goes let's just wrote she's like the best thing it can do for me is give you a little peace of mind. So sell it if you need to sell it. Whatever. So it seems weird because, like, she doesn't want it anymore, you know? No, she doesn't have it.

Yeah. But she also didn't want it. You know, like, and I still couldn't sell it. So I don't know. It's her ring, right? Yeah. Like, it's her wedding band. She wore it.

Yeah. Yeah. It touched her body. Yeah. Make a necklace out of it. I knew someone. I mean, I don't know. Give it to, right? Yeah. Like it's her wedding band. I mean, she wore it. Yeah. Yeah. Touched her body. Yeah. Make a necklace out of it. I knew someone. I mean, I don't know. Give it to your daughter.

Yeah. You got time, bro. Yeah. You got time. But I didn't. I couldn't ever really quite figure what to do with it. So I have the ring and like a couple other things. Don't sell it.

Yeah. I'm telling you right now from a dude that tried to sell on the game. He drew a ring back, bro. It ain't worth it yeah i'm telling you right now from a dude that tried to sell on the game it ain't worth it just keep it um we just decided it's not big enough we want to go fancy like i had to take 20 out for gas dude shane torres thank you for coming on here man that was heavy that was good man i appreciate i appreciate you but yeah thank you for everything thank you of course please um one more time plug in wait i'm gonna ask you a question first and i always ask everyone's first time and then we're gonna plug and promote everything again um after everything we've talked about now advice you shane torres oh man um advice uh punk rock will save your life and uh be clean girls like that

like that's good advice yeah because boys are so fucking gross with it and then um if you work hard and you make a plan everything's gonna be all right but you have to do both of those things if yeah that's what i tell myself yeah that's great advice yeah great advice all right plug and promote everything again please uh the blue-eyed mexican on youtube um that is december 10th on burt kreischer's youtube channel as well on Burt Kreischer's YouTube channel, as well as Shane Torres' YouTube channel. Shaneisacomedian.com for all my tour dates. And Shane Torres on Instagram.

I'm everywhere. If I'm not coming to your town, I'm probably not more than an hour away. I'm on the road a lot. So come see it. And it's a whole new hour that I'm doing now. So it's not what you'll see on the special when you watch it. So you'll have another barrel of laughs. Oh, my God.

This is like you should call this thing trauma-begraved. I did not. Dude, I fucking steeled myself up the day before. I was like, you're not going to fucking. You had to punch in a heavy bag and shit working out. Yeah, dude. I'm like, I'm fucking. I'm not.

You know, God damn it, man. You're good at this you're very good i i you listen all i did was ask questions you you were the one that did everything you did the heavy lifting bro yeah this was great man i really really appreciate you having me and like sincerely it's nice to see how well all this has gone like i knew things were on the up for you when i ran into you in tampa before like i knew i knew the podcast was doing well and like the standard but like i mean it was tampa was fucking packed dude like it was yeah like it was it was very cool to see like you know like it was nice because you fucking like i mean

i was surprised dude look you turn and turn off three sold out three of them and i think we missed the other one by like 20 tickets yeah i got the last one i was like if that was the light one yeah that was then your wallet was packed all weekend, dude. Yeah, you had it. Thank you, Tampa. Come see me on tour at RyanSickler.com. The chicken nuggets line killed me.

That's the one I remember. That's the one I remember. Yeah, thank you, man. As always, Ryan Sickler, all social media, RyanSickler.com. We'll talk to you all

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