The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Shapel Lacey - ShapelDew
Episode Date: September 26, 2022My HoneyDew this week is comedian, Shapel Lacey! (Comedy Central) Shapel Highlights the Lowlights of growing up with an abusive stepfather, being adopted into a white family, and reconnecting with his... biological father after getting out of prison. SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://www.youtube.com/rsickler SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew SPONSORS: Coors Light -Chill with Coors Light this football season. Visit https://www.CoorsLight.com?HONEYDEW Prize Picks -Go to https://PrizePicks.com and enter promo code HONEYDEW at sign up for an instant deposit match up to $100 dollars! Blueland -Get 15% off your first order at https://www.Blueland.com/HONEYDEW
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The tour rolls on, y'all.
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The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler.
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And Grand Rapids, December 9th and 10th.
All right.
Now, that's all the biz right there.
You guys know what we do over here.
We highlight the lowlights.
I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers.
And I am very excited to have this guest on the Honeydew.
First time here, ladies and gentlemen.
Please welcome Chappelle Lacey. Welcome to the honeydew yes sir young man clap for yourself
i'm all clapped out um thank you for being here it's a pleasure to have you here yeah thank you
for having me man um will you please before we get into your story plug and promote everything
and anything okay would like?
Oh, okay, yeah.
I got some tour dates.
I got to read them.
Get them.
That's fine.
So October 13th through the 15th, I'll be in Raleigh, North Carolina at Good Nights.
And then October 21st through the 22nd, I'll be at the Milwaukee Improv.
And then November 17th, I'll be doing a one-nighter at Irvine Improv.
All right.
And what about your social media?
Where can they find tickets?
Social media at Chappelle Lacey everywhere.
Well, actually, I only do Instagram.
Instagram only?
Yeah, everything else exhausts me.
You have a website?
Yes, chapellelacey.com.
There you go.
Yep, that's where you find out all my stuff.
Well, I'm really excited to sit down because I follow you.
I'm a fan of yours.
I've been following you on social media and stuff and i see a lot of different things i see cheerleading i see
punk rock singing uh i know you were adopted yeah um but i don't know your story so um why don't we
just go back to to day one for you and let's talk about it was a cold morning january 23rd i'm just
kidding is it january 23rd your birthday i don't know if it was cold because it was Arizona. But yeah,
I grew up in Arizona. Like I said, I was adopted in my teens, but originally with my biological mom
and a stepfather and then four other siblings. And it You know, I mean, we grew up in a poor area in Mesa,
Arizona. You know, not many people know, you know, much of Arizona other than Phoenix. But
shout out to Jimmy Eat World because they're from Mesa. Always got to give that shout out.
Hometown heroes. But then, yeah, I, you know, I grew up in a crazy, crazy household. My stepfather was very, very abusive.
And it was obviously tough for one to navigate as a child because you have so many questions, especially when you know this person isn't your dad.
But you know—
So let me ask you this.
You're in a house with three other siblings?
Four others. Four. So it's five total kids? Five total kids, yeah. isn't your dad but you know let me ask you this you're in a house with three other siblings uh
four others four so five total five total kids and you all share them you're the same mom so yeah
so my i only had one full-blooded sibling but he passed away we'll get there eventually
uh but my three other siblings they're my half so they're him from him yeah okay yep so yeah that's uh that
was pretty much our household uh growing up and five kids under the age of what uh man i was so
i'm the second i was the second i'm the second oldest uh and my youngest the youngest was born
in 92 and then the oldest was born in 85 so you got a lot of young kids
and he was abusive huh oh yeah your mom as well you know he never he never physically you know
touched or anything but you know verbally yell at her yeah then you know just the mental
you know abuse um you know he made it feel like she needed him and she couldn't be anywhere.
I don't know, very manipulative.
What did he do for a living?
Shit, I don't know.
No.
Bro, he came in with different uniforms all the time.
I couldn't tell you what he did for a living.
He did a lot of different shit.
That's my favorite question that people ask.
What did he do for a living?
I'm like, I don't know.
He made up shit.
Oh, shit.
One day he was at Burger King.
Next thing you know, he was a security guard somewhere.
I'm like, why he got out?
New walkie talkie.
Right.
I'm like, for as hard as you work to lie about where you work.
I mean, you could have just worked a job.
But no, I don't know where he worked.
My mom was was you know
that was the work ethic of the house okay you know she was a cna i think the nurse's assistant
yeah she she worked at the the hospital where pretty much all of us being all my siblings
were born at you know she was a cna there so she was you know at the house or the bread maker of the house she was yeah and
my stepfather yeah yeah my stepfather he was just chilling yeah he wasn't good at chilling
you know what i mean now what can we go back to your biological father you know i know i know we're
gonna get there later but at that time did you know, like, do you always remember your stepfather being the guy in your life at that age?
Yep.
You do.
I didn't know I had a biological father until I was 10.
So you thought up until 10 that this man was your biological father?
No, I didn't even think.
I knew it wasn't my dad.
We look too different.
Okay.
But no, I didn't think of him.
It's weird because I didn't even call him dad.
I called him by his first name.
So it wasn't like, I don't know.
It was just weird.
I didn't think of him as like a dad, but that was the adult in the house.
I didn't think it was dad, but a parent of some sort.
Was he different with you than his kids?
Yes.
He was. Was he abusive to you than his kids? Yes. He was.
Yeah.
Was he abusive to them as well?
Not too crazy.
I mean, he was strong with the verbal abuse, but he never really like, you know, not the way he treated me and my brother who weren't his.
You know, me and my brother, we had the same dad, but our dad was locked up.
But it's crazy.
They all knew he existed, but I was the only one that didn't.
Even your brother knew at the time?
Yeah, my brother knew.
Yeah, because my brother was two years older than me.
Okay.
And my brother, before my, our dad got in prison, he would see him and like he had like a little bit of a relationship with him.
What was he in prison for
uh attempted murder and uh drug dealing shit like that all right okay yeah yeah now that's what he's
in there for all right so what happens to for you to be adopted in your teens so it's it's wild you know i it's so much that ties to it but i was a competitive
cheerleader right and this was at 15 i started cheerleading and why what got you into that i had
a crush on this girl nah let's talk about it man that's what got you into cheerleading. That's what got me. Some pussy. Yeah.
It'll get you every time.
Yeah, it'll get you every time.
Got this motherfucker shaking palm balls. And guess what?
Guess what?
Never happened.
You didn't get it.
Never happened.
You know, shout out Marissa.
But I can backflip like your motherfucker.
But I can backflip.
Like, hey, I got that.
Hey, I still got it.
Still got the backflip in me. Oh, shit, I got that. Hey, I still got it. Still got the back flip in me.
Oh, yeah, dude.
So the competitive cheerleading is like what you would consider like club soccer.
It's not through the school.
It's like outside of the thing, and you pay to do it.
But the owners of the cheerleading gym that I cheered at,
those are the ones that took me in.
Okay.
Yeah, so like I was cheering there.
And I think they knew there was something wrong with me.
I was very quiet, very reserved, and didn't talk much and couldn't look people in the
eyes really.
And so, I mean, and they've been working with kids for years.
My adopted father, he was a teacher for a while.
years you know my my adopted uh father he was a teacher for a while so i mean he would see all types of you know children come in and out of his life and i i think he just knew immediately
something was up and you know he didn't never add never ask detail you know but just they would just
like take care of me you know they you know um was this a legal adoption or it wasn't legal you in
they just took me in okay so it wasn't paperwork or anything like that did they talk to your mom
about this before no no not at all because my stepfather he had kicked he kicked me out he
kicked you out yeah he kicked me out 15 you're already out um he kicked me out at like 17 he
did yeah but they started taking care of me pretty much like and your mom just what wasn't going
against no you know it's so weird my mom and i recently talked about that because i didn't i
didn't know how she felt when she saw me get kicked out because she she my mom worked the overnight
shift at the hospital right and I remember that morning very clearly.
I woke up for school and my stepfather, he was always on some shit.
And then he used to do this thing
where he would tough guy bump me just because,
like he wanted to show dominance, right?
I was like, bitch, I ain't scared of you.
No, I'm just kidding.
I was.
Was he big?
Big enough.
Big enough, yeah. For what I i for my bigger bigger than me now hell
no but uh when i was younger obviously you know i didn't grow yet you know wait till i grow though
i swear i wait till i grow and spring on your fucking neck right
no but uh he uh he yeah so he was a tough guy, bumped me.
And then one day I was just like, man, stop.
Like, just quit it.
Like, you know, I just, you know, said something back.
You know, I was just standing up for myself.
And then I remember he didn't like, if you talk back to him,
it was like a, you know, a major thing.
Like, it was, you know, a big no-no. And I remember he just like shoved me and just started, you know a major thing like it was it was you know a big no-no and i remember he just like
shoved me and just started you know shoved me into my my closet and just started like
wailing on me and stuff but i was just like you know tucked or whatever right and then um
i get out of the city i get out of it i run across the street because his mom
lives across the street from us and so which i consider her my grandma. I do even to this day because she was like a lifesaver.
Whenever I'd run to her house because he was terrified of her.
Nah.
Yeah, he was terrified of her.
Was he?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, there we go.
So she would hide me out.
There we go.
I found that weak point.
I was like, yeah.
This takes a generational shit out across the street.
Right, right, yo.
I found that kryptonite.
I found that kryptonite. I found that kryptonite.
I was like, yeah, look.
Not behind my hair.
And she was on your side, too.
Oh, big time.
You know, she knew how much of a nut he was, you know.
But I think just, I mean, no one knew what to do, really.
I mean, that type of experience and most experiences in life, I think is first try for everybody.
So I don't know,
like,
you know,
no one knows what to do,
but also like,
it's like,
you know,
it's cause it's like family.
So it's,
it's weird.
Like,
I don't blame any,
anyone for my childhood.
Like I have no animosity towards anybody,
but that's just,
you know,
it is what it was,
you know,
and I'm here now,
but,
uh,
you know,
so yeah, she, she was like, and I think one day she was just sick of it and, you know, and I'm here now. But, uh, you know, so yeah, she, she was like,
and I think one day she was just sick of it and, you know, she tried to tell him, but he was still
on his tirade. And I remember I walked back to my house and my mom just got home from, from work.
And, uh, my stepfather had all my, all my stuff packed, packed, uh, packed up in trash bags and
had it on the stair on the on the little steps right there.
And then told me to leave.
And I was so happy.
You were happy, huh?
Oh, my God.
Bruh.
Best day of my life.
So you go to their home?
Not immediately.
I went and lived with a friend for like a hot second.
And then I just told them, I was like, I don't have anywhere to go.
I was like, I like doing the cheerleading and stuff like that,
but I was like, I got to figure out my life because I don't have anywhere to go.
And then they just brought me in.
So you got adopted by a white family.
Yeah, shout out.
And what was the difference like for you?
Man, because they're all about love.
They're strong Christians, very into the faith.
Can I ask you one more question real quick?
Yeah, go ahead.
During this, are you still having a relationship with your mom?
Man, that was a tough one because—
Does she get what's happening?
Is she supportive a little?
You know what?
For years, I was so 50-50 with my mom.
I was like, man, I don't like this lady, but I do like this lady.
But you would see her during this time and stuff.
Not often.
No.
No.
And how far away are you?
Like 20 minutes.
Ain't nobody hopping this kid.
A walk.
Right?
About an hour walk, you know?
And Arizona heat's a mother bugger, you know? Yeah Arizona heats up all the money, you know?
Yeah, right, right.
Well, I'm like, man, I ain't going back.
All right, okay.
You know, so, yeah, I was so 50-50 with her because, you know,
like I was like, yeah, she, you know, she's with this dude,
but my mom was never mean to me.
My mom was always very sweet and kind.
Did you feel like betrayed?
Like, how could you pick this guy over me or your kids?
Did you feel?
Yeah, I did feel that, you know, 1,000%.
You know what I mean?
Are they still together?
No, no, no, not at all.
But they still have to see each other because I have a brother
with special needs.
Okay.
So whenever he has doctor's appointments or anything that you know so they that's when they
still have to see each other and you know just to get them get them stuff but um other than that
yeah like i was i was pretty messed up about that and i wanted i wanted to love my mom, but it was very tough because, you know, she was with that dude, you know.
And she, you know, stuck with him for so long, you know, even after I was kicked out, you know.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
Yeah.
But, like I said, with the recent conversation I had with her, I'd say almost a year or so ago,
I never knew how she felt when,
when she saw her son get kicked out.
I didn't know what,
you know,
what went through her head.
I didn't know.
I mean,
because my family wasn't a family,
a family that would talk things out.
We never said,
I love you in our house.
Like there was just like pretty much like just nothing, nothing of that nature. And, never said, I love you in our house. Like, there was just, like, pretty much, like, just nothing.
Nothing of that nature.
And, you know, she had told me, she was like, you know, the day, you know, stepdad kicked you out, that's when I was, like, she was, like, plotting her way, you know, trying to figure out how to get out of the situation.
All right.
So that was the beginning of her.
Yeah.
She was so mad.
I know it's not like a major move, but she was like,
I made them sleep in the living room.
We never slept in the same room.
We were totally like she was checked out,
but she just didn't know how to exit.
Because, I mean, she'd been in that situation for years.
You know what I mean?
So I brought you off track.
Let's go back.
Go ahead.
You now move in with this family.
What are the differences?
Like you said, you're very Christian, very loving. Very Christian, very loving.
How many kids do they have?
Three daughters.
Three daughters.
Yeah, they have three daughters of their own.
And at the time, the youngest daughter, when I moved in, the youngest daughter, I think, was two or three.
I forget their damn ages. Forgive me. But, old, I forget their damn ages.
Forgive me.
But yeah, I moved in with them.
And it was, yeah, it was a big difference.
You know, like I would see them, whenever the kids did something wrong,
I'd be like, ooh, you got to get fucked up.
Yeah.
You got to get your ass whooped.
You're getting it coming to you.
No, and then I would see them like talk to them.
So I was like, what?
What is that?
And that's how they were with me.
They never like raised their voice, never saw any aggression.
And that's all I knew.
So I was always on edge you know i was
always i always had the guard up you know just ready for something to happen you know even even
when my even when my adoptive father woke me up one time because so my stepdad whenever he would
wake me up he would like shove me or like kick at me or something right so i remember one time
my adoptive father tried to wake me up.
I was like,
what?
Try to get you over a nice hot breakfast.
Some shit you never had.
He's trying to love you, son had he was just like
I got oatmeal downstairs
I just wanted to wake you up
we got orange juice
I'm sorry it's different over here
yeah it's funny you gotta get
unconditioned and then learn
and get used to
like a rescue dog that's literally to. Yeah. Like a rescue dog.
Yeah.
That's literally what I was.
Exactly.
I was a rescue.
Did you have your own room?
Had my own room, which I never had before because I shared with all my brothers,
which wasn't like – that wasn't weird to me either.
I didn't think of us being poor like a weird thing.
I was just like, yeah because because every i mean even
kids at my school like i'm like oh they got the same shit we got like right i just didn't think
of you know us not having money as a bad thing you know but yeah it was very different i had my
own room i had a tv i was like damn bro a bed you know like it was just like what i like the most um
damn that's a good question i've never been asked that what did i like the most i mean i don't want
to give you answers but you know were you excited to be in a loving home was there freedom was the
loving home i wasn't i wasn't the loving home I wasn't, like, used to yet.
Okay. So that's still weird.
That's still weird. Yeah, yeah. So that's still a weird thing. I think it was just the fact that
I had my own room and, like, my own space, you know? Like, I just never had that, you know? I
think that was, like, the cool part.
An escape, finally.
Yeah, it was, like, an escape.
A place to go just for you. Yeah, and it was the first time I was able to like really sit with myself in a room that was mine and decorated for me.
You know, so I was just like, wow, this is trippy.
You know what I mean?
And I was able to sit with my thoughts a lot.
And, you know, I'm a thinker.
I think all the time.
I just be sitting there thinking and that's
all i did on the regular and then this family's paying for yeah food food costs for whatever
these athletic things are yeah they made you their son yeah pretty pretty much they did you
know what i mean they really did but it felt weird i'm'm not going to lie. Did you feel like – I'm asking you this not – I want you to know that –
so I'm only saying this to everybody else.
Jesus Christ, shut up.
But my father died when I was 16.
Yep.
And my mom was already out of the family.
And I remember when my dad died, people went to the store,
and they bought new sweatshirts for us and new clothes.
And when they brought it over, they felt like they were doing the kindestest thing and i felt like a fucking piece of shit charity case yes did you feel that way
yeah man because i mean because you got to think my siblings were still in that situation
i felt so much guilt and it's weird because i knew that wasn't, like, it's almost like I wanted to go back because they were there.
Right.
Not because, you know, like, I didn't like him at all.
Like, it wasn't like, oh, maybe it was my fault.
Never thought that.
I just thought, I was like, man, my siblings are still there.
And I felt so bad.
And, you know, I'm living this life that life that you know they taught me how to drive you know they gave me you know a car to
drive and what kind of car were you driving it was a honda elantra shouts out 99 baby
um were you going to see your siblings though you know the only one i saw uh on the regular
was my oldest brother okay you know because he was a little bit older,
and he was old enough to, like, move out and stuff,
and he had gotten his own place.
But, yeah, he was the only one that I would see out of them.
Otherwise, I didn't really see my siblings ever, you know.
It was tough.
I mean, yeah, you just feel bad.
And then I was becoming, like, spoiled, you know it was it was tough it was i mean yeah you just feel bad and then and then i i was
becoming like spoiled you know because i mean these people saw that i was in a screwed up
situation and these people are just being nice they're just trying to saying yeah it's hard i
know they just want to be good to you and be nice like you know all these nice things i even i even
ran away from my adopted folks one time.
Like, I remember.
Did you begin to resent them for all that?
Yeah.
Yeah, because it didn't feel good.
You know, and I'm like, why am I deserving of this?
It didn't feel like what, authentic?
It didn't feel authentic.
You know, I was like, this isn't my family.
This isn't where I came from.
And they were just trying to be nice.
You know, I mean, they were helping out a kid.
And, you know, mean they were they were helping out a kid and you know and i was i was a wreck there was a lot of things that messed me up that i
you know just never dealt with you know i mean but it's tough it's like you know telling
this kid in his late teens or you know mid to late teens like how crazy his life is it's you
know it's a lot to process you know i didn't really have any guidance until anger management.
Anger management is where I learned a lot.
I think I was able to accept a lot more because of that.
But yeah, you just feel this weight on your shoulders.
Even though you're out of this situation, because that situation I was in with my stepfather was a lot of weight.
But then, you know, I felt like there was even more weight now that I'm not in this situation.
And then look at the situation I'm in.
Right.
I'm looking at this house that I'm living in that has stairs.
Yeah.
Bro, come on, man.
Come on, talk to me, bro. Yeah. Bro, come on, man.
Come on, talk to me, bro.
Yeah.
Bro, I'm like, man, I got stairs.
You know, but it's like even, like, you know,
some people may think that's funny,
but that's really what I thought.
I was like, man, there's stairs in the house.
I've only seen that on TV.
That's all.
I've never seen it like that.
You know, so it's just, well well at least like living in it you know i you know i knew people that had stairs in the house but but living in
it i'm gonna stay here now but i'm in it that that was like a weird thing to me it's simple
as that is i was just like i don't that's perspective dude yeah exactly you know so
it's these little things did your stepfather ever
try to bring it back he didn't give a fuck he was so glad too then yeah i yeah all right you know
but also like i think it was this thing where he thought i was gonna come running back i was like
bro do you know where i live you know the house i'm in right now no i ain't coming back now yeah he he thought like
yeah like if i you know yeah he gonna he gonna need me that's what he thought i got you you know
we're making sure you you knew he didn't yeah i got you you know i used to tell my mother all
the time because she was like yeah i was like i don't need you you know because this woman's
beating me talking shit to me.
And I'm just like, I'll be fine.
I would love to go on my own.
I'll be fine.
She's like, you would never make it.
I was like, man, you'll see.
I've been on my own since I was 16.
I'm fine.
So you know exactly where that's beautiful because it's exactly that.
I knew it.
Yeah.
I knew if I had to, I could do it.
What's crazy about you saying this, the thing that set my stepfather off what made him flip out on me that that day that morning as
i'm getting ready for school was when he he he goes move out get your shit and i started packing
started packing my stuff and then he slapped my bag out of my hand.
Right.
And he was like, you ain't going nowhere with your simple ass.
Right.
He said that to me.
And I looked at, I was like, I got plenty of places to go.
I'm all good.
And that's what, you know, that's what set it off.
He didn't know where I had to go.
He didn't know those people.
He didn't know that these people were taking care of me he didn't know saying that he didn't know that there was actually good people in my life
he thought he was it he's like you know i'm all you got you know and uh it's it's so it's so crazy
you share that because it's yeah i feel that 100 man i like i the the visuals in my head of him just saying you're never gonna
be nothing yeah you know you know you ain't gonna be shit yeah you know and meanwhile and i don't
know if you felt this too when i when i when i thought about myself on a regular i go am i i was
like i don't think i'm a bad kid no i don't think i'm all the time like i was just into skateboarding going to punk shows
and you know i wasn't selling drugs i wasn't doing i've never been arrested i've been cuffed
i've been cuffed i ain't never been arrested i've never been arrested i never i never you know got
in trouble with the cops i gotta i i told my mother that we reconnected after like 25 years
and i was like okay hell yeah did you ever get a call from the school did you ever no that's right because we were never absent enough yeah we never fucked off
enough because we played sports and if you fucked around you couldn't play sports and our whole
thing was we're getting good grades and we're gonna be here every goddamn day that we can
because we don't want to fuck up sports yes if i didn't play sports i probably would have it would
have fucking ruined my life probably because with no parents at that age it would have ruined my life that was all we
had so it resonates hard and what i i really think i looking back on it i meant and i think you too
like i don't need you because what you're bringing is nothing but abuse i don't need this yeah i don't
need this i can be i'll be fine without Like, if you were a good person, great.
It'd be different.
Yeah, but I don't need this.
Yes.
Yeah, so good for you.
Yeah, man.
I mean, to be able to understand that, because, I mean, you know,
thank the Lord for punk rock music, oddly enough,
because that was the thing that got me to stand up for myself.
I would read these lyrics of these dope punk songs, and it was just all about standing up for yourself and believing in who you are.
Now, granted, I was a little aggressive to a lot of people.
I was aggressive.
But that's where the anger management came in, took care of that.
But, you know, that's where the anger management came in, you know, took care of that.
But it did, you know, it did get me to, you know, be able to speak my mind and say something for myself.
All right. I asked you the thing you liked the most, which was your own room.
What did you actually miss the most?
From my being with my original home?
Man, the thing I missed the most.
my original home um man the thing i missed the most my mom my mom would always do at summertime she'd always play these dope movies from when she was younger and and we would watch them all the
time or even if it wasn't movies from her era if it was just like some movie she wanted us to watch
and there's just just specific movies in my life that I think of when I watch that movie,
I think about just summertime and my mom, you know, being home with us kids
and us watching those movies, you know.
One of them is Trading Places.
Hell, yeah.
Man.
It's so good.
I love that movie.
That still holds up.
Oh, it still holds up to this day.
And then the way they give them the little love and coming to America, which is crazy.
Yes.
Oh, yes.
I was like, oh, shit, there's going to be a new Trey Blasio when we saw that.
Yes.
And they never did anything when they got that.
So she would show us a lot of like, and I fell in love with Eddie Murphy immediately.
Immediately.
I was like, who's that guy?
I was like, that guy is the deal.
You know, I just loved all his characters
and stuff like that.
You know,
but yeah,
that's the one thing I miss
is like me and my siblings
gathered around
and watching these movies,
you know,
because that was,
if there's one thing
I could think of,
that was like probably
the most wholesome
part of my
time with him,
you know,
and even TV shows.
My mom loved I Love Lucyy she loves i love lucy
mama's family with vicky lawrence like i and we would watch these shows and and i'd just be dying
laughing because and i just connect with it so much and you know i that was one thing i thought
about when you know i moved in with my adoptive folks i was just like man and no one's ever asked
me that question either.
But that was the one thing I missed.
It was like a bond with my siblings and my mother.
Over laughter.
Yeah, my stepfather.
You know, I don't remember him.
I don't have memories of him in that wholesome part.
Yeah, being present. You know what I mean?
So it was just such feel good.
Man, that was like such feel good. That was,
man,
that was like the best.
The best.
What were they watching at your adoptive family?
Shit, man.
I was like,
bro.
What are they on over there?
Turn this full house shit on.
Just kidding.
Can we please put
Good Times on?
Can we,
where is JJ from Good Times? For real. I feel like feel like i know i said but the tv we grew up on uh i'm older than you but man good times the jeffersons uh what's happening yeah what's
happening on the family all the family cheers taxi like it was great fucking comedy yes great comedy fucking comedy great comedy great
comedy oh yeah i don't remember what the heck yeah because i you know i i think i would just
go to my room and oh my my adoptive father he loves uh gosh so lame he loves the hallmark channel
nah because he's like he's a rise out white dude giving us a bad look and I'm like man that's some shit
you would joke about
and it's so funny
my younger sisters
and I
like they
Hallmark Christmas shit
is coming up y'all
y'all need to calm down
in that room
another lady
with a bad boyfriend
I love these shit
but it's always like
because he's always like
there's always a happy ending
I'm like
so yeah there's that shit happy ending. I'm like, so?
Yeah, there's that shit on other networks.
Yeah, you know, and it's so funny because my siblings now,
on my adoptive side, they're all like not about it anymore.
You know, they used to be.
They used to sit there with him and watch, and I'm like, man, I can't.
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Now, let's get back to the do.
Now, do your siblings and your adoptive siblings,
have you all mixed families?
Have you crossed, hung out?
No.
No.
Never.
Never.
Never that.
So you were, what, 17,
you said, roughly,
when you finally went with them?
Finally moved in with them, yeah.
And how long were you with them?
I moved, I pretty much moved
because I went away to college
to go cheer in texas
where uh trinity valley it's the this um you know that docu-series cheer yeah i mean i know of it
yeah oh okay well the school that that's that's one of the schools that they're talking about
is with the school i cheer so that's a big deal yeah yeah cheering okay so and um then i went on to university of louisville but i didn't
even finish there because that's where i started stand-up but i pretty much moved out fully moved
out when i was 25 okay yeah that's when i moved out from so you're there seven eight years with
them and the whole time was a good experience yeah great experience A lot of learning. It did take me a while to get used to the loving.
That took a little bit.
And I think-
Were they a huggy?
Were they a huggy family?
Yeah, and they would praise, and I was like, quit doing that.
Whenever I did something good, it's just the way they did it.
And I was like, hey, stop that.
Why do you say it like that?
But that's just how they show affection and love.
And that's fair, you know, but I just wasn't, I wasn't about it.
Like, I remember, I don't know, I did something right.
I don't know if I got, like, a good grade on something.
And he was like, oh, my God, that's amazing.
Look at you.
And I'm like, hey.
Yeah, that doesn't feel right.
I was like, don't do that you
know i was like you know it really felt like those tv shows that they were watching right yeah but uh
now i mean now it's you know i get it and stuff and i'm used to it now but it that all that that
took a that took a while to get used to that. And, you know, the youngest, the youngest daughter,
their youngest daughter, her and I connected a lot because, you know, I would get home from
school early and she, you know, she's a little baby. I call her baby. And so her and I would
just be at the house all the time, you know, cause I'd be home earlier from school and I would just play with her and never really did that before either, you know? And she considers me like,
yeah, I mean, not even considered. Yeah. I'm her brother. She tells everyone,
all of her friends about me, you know, she, she, she's 19 now, I think. Yeah. Something like that.
But she, yeah, she tells all her friends about me. I'm like her rock, which is pretty cool.
And I remember, because my voice is loud, and I didn't know.
And I would talk aggressive.
And I remember one time, just this little situation where I was going out to clean the backyard.
And I just used to clean it. Like that was a pretty, you know,
thing,
thing.
That was a thing that we did in our household,
you know,
with my biological and stepfather.
Like we,
we just understood like cleaning was a thing.
And I remember I was going to clean the backyard and she wanted to chill out,
hang outside while,
while I would clean the backyard.
And I was like,
no,
you ain't going outside with me.
And she started crying.
I was like,
wait,
why are you crying? I just said you can't go outside it's a hallmark but I didn't know because my voice was
so aggressive but I wasn't even mad but it was just aggressive bro I've been dealing with that
my whole life like I'm not mad what is it why does everybody think I'm mad right now like you're
yelling I'm like I'm not yelling you haven't heard me yell yeah and and I didn't think I'm mad right now. You're yelling. I'm like, I'm not yelling. You haven't heard me yell.
Yeah.
And I didn't know what to do.
And I was like, oh, man, she's crying.
I was like, I didn't mean to make this little baby cry.
And then I remember I just, I picked her up and I was like, oh, okay, it's okay.
You know?
And I remember I was like, you know what?
You can come outside with me.
And then she kissed me on the cheek.
And I was like, what?
me on the cheek and i was like what and it was it was it was such a moment to where i've never
ever in my life felt that it was like this it was it was love yeah it was pure love that was pure love and i and i didn't know how to react i was just just like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll go outside.
You know, and to this day, it's one of those emotional things for me
because, yeah, coming where I come from, that was never a thing.
I'm telling you, we didn't say, I love you.
We didn't hug.
Good job.
Good job.
Yeah.
None of that was ever said.
All negative.
All negative.
All the time.
All the time.
So to feel that, that was the first moment I ever felt something like that.
You mentioned anger management.
Yeah.
Talk to me about how it helped you and what did you learn from it?
I'm curious.
You know, I learned a lot of great things in anger management.
And I would say the overall take take so I've had three different
anger management teachers
shout out
I had one
my first one was
in high school
the second one
and the other two
were in
college
yeah
when I was like in my 20s
and no I didn't
you know
say hey I want to go
to anger management
they put me in there sure you know because everyone asked that they're like oh you put yourself I said I didn't say, hey, I want to go to anger management. They put me in there.
Sure.
Because everyone asks that.
They're like, oh, you put yourself in there?
I say, I didn't put myself in there.
But the beautiful thing about anger management is it taught me,
and there's still things that I, because I haven't gone since my 20s,
but there's still things to this day that I take with me.
And the overall take is put it all on you.
Put it all on you.
Don't make it about anyone else.
You know, and I say that in a sense like when I think about my situation
with my stepfather.
How about I do right?
How about I don't fall on those footsteps and follow that cycle?
How about I just be a good person?
Don't make it about being angry at him.
Don't make it about that at all.
How about I just do that?
And when I was able to figure that out,
I grew this empathy for my stepfather.
And I started to learn and ask questions about where he came from because i
never knew asking him these questions no i would ask my mom okay my mom knew uh knows pretty much
i mean they were together for years but once i had learned about him i was just like oh damn
i was like well this guy i think he i he, and I'm not trying to make an excuse or, you know, justify what he did because what he did wasn't good.
But he went through some shit and he thought he was doing right.
You know what I mean?
And he would say these things all the time to my mom.
Like, he was like, why does he think I was a good dad?
You know, like I was, I was a good dad.
And I used to, I used to get so mad at that question. And I was like, how does he think I was a good dad? You know, like I was a good dad. And I used to get so mad at that question.
And I was like, how delirious is he?
And then I thought about it.
His dad wasn't around.
His dad didn't even come near him.
Right.
So the fact that he was there, he felt like he was doing right.
He was going from zero to one.
I'm like, well, I'm doing good.
Yeah, he thought he was doing good.
I'm like, bro, you suck.
Yeah. It's going from zero to one. I'm like, well, I'm doing good. Yeah, he thought he was doing good. I'm like, bro, you suck.
Do you even know what channel number it is?
Do you even know what channel number it is?
No, but, you know, and it made me feel this way about him that I don't think I've ever felt. Because I felt so much hate towards him, and I wanted to go after this man.
I wanted to attack this man i
wanted i wanted him to just not exist i wanted all that but then i thought about it and you know
because i started honestly through comedy in a weird way i started doing these jokes about my
abusive childhood and then i noticed when i was was on stage, as you're working jokes,
shit just bombs. And it was bombing. I was like, I hate the fact that it bombs.
And then I was like, well, why do people not connect with it? And then I would listen back
to some of the shit and I would think about it. I go, oh, I sound angry. I sound like I'm still
hurt. I sound like I'm upset'm upset i go what if i wasn't
and so then it made me just dig and dig and dig and understand more and more and more
about him and then even you know to this day and like even current current date he and i are cool
you are yeah what was the first time you had a good conversation? I don't know if
it was a good conversation as much as it was just like, I accepted the fact that I looked at
everything I had right in front of me, right? I looked at everything in my life and I go,
I'm fine. I'm fine. And when I was able to do that, I i was able i think it wasn't even anything as just much as i
shook his hand when i saw him and i that caught him off guard did it yes you know the fact that
i shook his hand and i was just like hey how you doing and and and obviously through with that
tone and that energy you know because i obviously he feels something, you know,
some sort of guilt, but he didn't get what I got.
He didn't get an anger management teacher.
Right.
He didn't get these things.
Probably didn't even exist, that shit.
Yeah, back then, yeah.
Yeah.
What the fuck are you talking about?
They beat his ass up.
I'll teach you, motherfucker.
Yeah, right?
Yeah.
Now go be a daddy.
But yeah, man, it just...
And I found the beauty in just going, you know what?
I'm fine.
I'm okay.
And I know you've been through some shit.
And I understand that.
And I don't even take anything that happened in the past personal.
And that's taking a lot of work.
That wasn't overnight.
It's taking a lot of work.
How'd he take it?
I mean, he's still like, you know, at times he does get,
he's a little quiet around me, you know, because he doesn't know what to say.
But you can be in the same room and you can be in holidays together.
Yeah, I can say anything.
Good.
Yeah, why not?
I got his number.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'll text you.
What's up?
Does he ever hit you up about your – like, man, your fucking brother's fucking up?
No.
Or talk to him?
Does he ever ask you to talk to them or anything?
No, nothing like that.
I mean, my brother – they reach out to me in general.
They've kind of just looked at me as like the, you know,
respectfully with no arrogance as like a North Star.
You know, they kind of look up to me.
Good.
And because, you know, it was our oldest brother that we all kind of,
in a sense, looked up to because, I mean, he's the oldest.
And, you know, he was moving in ways, you know, that just like you look at an older sibling
and, you know, and so I think when he had passed, you know, I think.
Yeah, tell me about that.
So, you know, my brother.
This is your biological.
You said this is.
Biological brother.
You know, my only full-blooded sibling.
And, you know, that was a tough one, you know,
because when I think about my brother and I,
he and I went through some shit together, you know,
especially in the home, you know, with our stepfather.
And going through that thing together and then losing him,
man, really, that was a tough one.
I felt like I lost my soul.
He was the only full-blooded sibling I had.
He was like my protector.
You know, like, I mean, there's times I'd be, you know,
getting in a fight, right?
And he would roll up.
And I'm getting me and this dude are squaring up.
And he would always swing on this dude before I could.
And I'm like, you know, it's my fight.
You know, hey, man, you know, I could throw a hand or two, you know.
But he was just like that.
He didn't like seeing.
And I think that's just because of what we were going through
because he couldn't do anything to our stepfather
because he was bigger than us.
So, like, when he sees someone, you know,
just squaring up with his little brother
in a way to where it's like he would just snap, you know.
And unfortunately, you know, he had got into pills.
Oh, okay.
Right?
So, which is an easy thing to get into, especially where we grew up, you know, poor area.
You know, that's just what it was. You know, I mean, from,
from my earliest memories, I think everybody was just kind of on some shit and, you know,
my brother has some demons, you know, but he was a great fucking guy and he, he didn't get what I
got either. You know, he didn't get the, the anger management or someone to necessarily talk to.
I would try to share things to him whenever, whatever I learned through the anger management and stuff.
How old was he when he passed?
He was 28.
28.
He was 28 and I was 26.
Do you remember how?
Yeah.
I remember exactly where I was.
I was flying to Florida to go compete at a cheer comp for a world title.
For a world title.
Yeah.
And then when I got off my flight and I was in baggage claim, I had a message on my phone.
It was from a police officer.
And I guess they found my brother.
He OD'd in his apartment.
Man, I'm sorry.
So what happened was,
my brother had a struggle with pills for quite some time.
He was like on and off, right?
And then he had got a really good job
working for Budweiser in the factory.
Like, you know, he was on one of them,
what do you call them damn things
they were driving around the factory?
Forklifts?
Yeah.
He was on one of the...
I was like, damn, bro,
what's that thing called he did?
Shit. Let me call him up. No, just kidding.
No, so he was...
You know, he worked a really good job.
He was so excited for this job because he fought hard to get this job.
And it was a hard one to get.
You know, it wasn't an easy one to get.
And when he finally got it, he was going straight.
You know, he was doing all the correct things. And I think, you know, based off what they expressed to me, he just had a night and he took a
dose that he would normally take, but he had been off it for a while. So, so I think, so yes, so it
was toxic. Yeah. So like there wasn't any struggle as much as it just stopped his heart.
So yeah, I got that call.
I called, or I got the message on my phone.
They were like, hey, can you give us a call when you get a chance?
I call, and no one knew yet.
And meanwhile, I was flying from the West Coast to Florida.
So that's a six-hour flight.
Right.
So no one knew.
No one had any information.
Because the cops called you.
They called me.
I see.
Because I was like the guy.
Right.
Next of kin.
Next of kin, yes.
And so.
Emergency contact.
Yeah, emergency.
Yeah.
And so.
But yeah, when I got that call and they told me what happened.
And obviously, I was in baggage claim and I was in shock.
And I'm like, man, what the hell?
I was like, are you sure it's him?
And that's like the first question anyone would ask.
Sure.
Naturally.
It's like, what, you sure?
But they were more than sure, obviously.
And I remember I was like, man, I got two decisions.
You know, I'm going to compete for this world title for cheerleading,
something I've been doing, I've been doing for years,
and, you know, still didn't have Marissa.
So I kept going.
Marissa's long gone.
Yeah, she's long gone.
I'm still going.
I'm still trying.
You know, maybe a world title will be like, oh, damn.
Maybe that'll impress her.
What about this?
And I decided to do the competition.
You did?
Yes, and only for one reason.
My brother was the only person in my family that ever seen me compete.
He was the only one in my family that came to my competitions.
So I was just like, okay, I'll do this hell yeah yeah and uh that was that was not easy you know and i was very quiet
no one knew you didn't tell anyone uh just my team knew you know but people would see me around and
you know they just noticed i was very different very quiet um but yeah it was
you know that was that was a tough one that was and to be able to hold hold myself together
you know through that granted it was cheerleading uh but still you know and we we won the world
title you did yeah we won yeah man i was gonna ask congrats yeah yeah so you're a world title
you're a world uh championship cheer're a world championship cheerleader?
Yeah.
Is that how to – am I saying it right?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, fuck yeah.
Yeah, you can say that.
Yeah, I got rings.
Take that step, Dad.
Yeah, I got rings, dog.
You know.
Wow, would Marissa ever come back?
No, she's not.
She didn't give a fuck.
I was like, damn, I got a ring.
She's like, I quit cheerleading three years ago.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, exactly.
She was long gone.
She was done.
Family, married kids.
She was like, will you still do that?
Oh, that's crazy.
Oh, good for you.
You made the right decision.
Yeah.
You know, and it felt good.
And so after that, that was when, that's when it all hit me.
It all hit me.
that's when it all hit me it all hit me uh it hit me pretty hard you know because i got a huge check for his uh for his death because he made me the beneficiary on his uh life insurance
and i got a huge check and i i fucking hated having that money i hated it yeah it was i get that it was and so i was down i was down man i was my soul
was just ripped apart because like i said my brother was you know like my protector you know
what i mean and um you just don't think that's going to happen to someone and then i i was like
i don't have anyone for protection.
You know, I was like,
I don't have that protector anymore.
You know, and when you lose that,
it's like, I don't know, man.
I didn't want to kill myself.
I didn't want to do self-harm,
but I just didn't want to exist.
I didn't want to be around.
I didn't want to,
like I had planned on moving to a, some random town somewhere and just living a normal, regular life, paycheck to paycheck. And, and just that, that's what I wanted to do, you know?
you know and oddly enough through that money i had i just started helping people i just started giving people money not just like hey you know but like if i just noticed someone in need
i just be like here you go you know hey let me get that for you let me let me let me get that for you. Let me catch that. I just did that.
And then that started making me feel better.
I just started organically.
It wasn't like, oh, I just did something for somebody.
No, it was just the fact that I could do something for someone else
made me feel better.
made me feel better.
And it takes you out of this,
it takes you out of these individual thoughts that are just about you
and you, you, you, you, you.
You have to take care of you,
but also I think
if you have the strength and ability to do so
to help someone out, even if you don't have
the money that i had i mean even someone that's just you see you see some people outside moving
a couch and they're struggling with it and you go over and help them and it's just something and
you're not wanting any reward from it you're not wanting any i don't like that's that was my thing
i was like i don't want anything for it i just hate looking at this bank account i hate i hate opening
up my bank or looking at my bank account just seeing all this money it's interesting you say
that because i totally again you resonate with me because here you are living for a while with a
family in a home that makes you feel uncomfortable yeah now you got money that
makes you feel uncomfortable yeah yeah it's fucking it's interesting yeah because well
you know this is how i thought of it i was like you know what i could get it was 75 grand
and i was like i don't want to ask oh no you i don't want to ask i'll say it i don't care uh
i was like you know I was like I was like
I could get 75 grand again
but I can't get my brother back
that's it
I'd rather have my brother
I'd rather have my brother
than 75 grand
I think anybody
well most people
yeah
not everybody
not everybody
some people got some weird siblings
no I just
I just
I'd rather
rather that
and
there's just this spirit in me that all of a sudden I was, in a sense, a little bit able to feel what it was like to protect somebody for a moment of time.
Even though it wasn't as much as my brother protected me, I was able to feel know just by helping a person out that was struggling
with a bill or something and you know needed anything and i just like there you know just
just take that you know i don't need anything i don't want anything you don't have to tell anybody
i gave you that but just just just take that and some people didn't think i was crazy you know
what i mean but i'm like if you were in that situation, you.
And you felt the way I feel about this.
Yeah, you feel the way I feel about this, then you probably wouldn't say that.
Well, also, I mean, when I say it means more to them than it does to you, it really does.
You know what I mean?
Like, those people need that money.
Yeah.
And you're like, fuck this money.
Yeah.
It means more to them. I'm just not like that. You get joy out that money. Yeah. And you're like, fuck this money. Yeah. It means more than that.
I'm just not like that.
You get joy out of that.
Yeah.
So if you have a bunch of money and you're not getting any joy out of having a bunch of money
and then giving some to people that helps them gives you joy, then there's a purpose for this money now.
Yeah.
And that could make you feel good about having this money.
Exactly.
I got my soul back.
Right.
feel good about having this exactly i got my soul back right i got i was able to rebuild my soul you know in a dope way to where i felt good about myself you know i was and
like i said i didn't want anything from it but someone just reaching out and saying
hey that really did a lot for me when you did that. I appreciate that.
That meant a lot.
Like, you didn't have to do that, you know.
And just hearing that from someone, like,
almost just makes you just grow into a selfless person, you know,
and try to help people as best as you can.
Yeah.
And anyone that, like, and I don't i don't know you know
everyone's different but i know when i was depressed there was something about helping
others that just helped myself in the weirdest way i don't know how to explain it i haven't
gotten that far yet but when i do figure it out and able to break it down in a well that goes back to the empathy
that you developed because if you didn't you would be like fuck these people this is i'm not helping
anybody yeah yeah it's it's freeing yeah it's um i don't know i like to do it as much as i can
anytime i can i went while i was in cleveland um we bought tickets to the fucking, I always want to say Toy Story,
Christmas Story house.
And then I'm standing outside, and Eva and I are out there,
and I'm smoking a joint.
I'm like, I don't want to go in and tour that house.
It's a movie set.
It's not a real house.
It's a movie set inside.
I didn't know that either.
People are like, yeah, it's kind of not.
I was like, oh, I thought this was an authentic home we were going to walk through.
I was like, I'm smoking a joint in front of the Christmas story house.
This is all I wanted to do.
So I see this family with kids, and it's expensive.
So I go, and the kid's getting free.
So I went over, and I was like, because their kids were like, can we go?
And they're like, yeah.
And I was like, here, here, take my tickets.
Oh, wow.
Take your fucking kids in there, yeah.
Yeah.
I just want to smoke weed out.
And that's all you needed.
That's all I wanted to do. That's all I needed. Yeah, I'm all about that. And then to kids in there, yeah. Yeah. I just want to smoke weed out. And that's all you need.
Yeah.
That's all I needed.
And then to see them go and take their kids, I mean, that meant more to me.
And they're going to remember that.
Yeah.
You know?
There's something about that feeling.
I can't fully explain it to people, like, the exact feeling of what it is,
but it's a feel-good feeling it it does something to the to
the soul in a way that you know it will come back to you I mean I don't know how I I don't want I'm
it always does you know but I just I just wanted to put that energy out there we have family members
that stole I can't tell you how many thousands of dollars from us when people died. And over the years, eventually it came back.
You know what I mean?
In a different way, but it came back.
It wasn't like I'm without that money for the rest of my life.
It came back.
And then I was like, yeah, fuck y'all.
Yeah, now what?
But you spent it all.
Let me ask you this.
How are you and your mom today?
How's your relationship?
Man, our relationship
is beautiful
good
it is one of the coolest
relationships
I think I have today
because
man
we
like
I think there was just so much
that wasn't talked about
and
my brother
my brother
due to my brother's passing
that's when her and I reconnected
because I saw something in her that I've never seen before.
I think I always saw a sadness in my mom when I think about it now
with being in that house.
But I saw something that was – she lost her firstborn. Yeah. A child that she created and she did the best that she could to take care of.
You know what I mean?
And watching that look on her face, I was just like, damn.
And then it made me think about everything that she went through.
And all of a sudden I saw it.
I was just like oh
wow she was going through it too she was going through with you know with my stepfather but just
not in the way that i was you know what i mean and just because she you know we weren't going
through it the same way doesn't mean nothing was like her doesn't mean her world was positive
and so to see and understand that i was just like
damn so i would just call her every day you know and and before whenever i would try to call her
because like i said i used to be 50 50 with her and i was like i'll call her let me call my mom
i was like i'm all the way out in this state you know this random. She don't know where I'm at. I was like, let me call her.
And it was tough to have conversations.
Yeah.
It'd be like three minutes.
And I'd be like, I'm done with this, you know.
But now, I call her, you know, twice a week.
You know, she only lived five hours away in Arizona.
But we talked for a long time.
We talked for a good while you know and and i love
it you know what i mean it's it's really cool and even with my my biological father reconnecting
with him i want to ask you about that yeah when did that happen so that was shortly after my
brother's death as well um I think I was 29.
Was your dad out at that point?
Yeah, he was out.
He was out.
I think he had been out for 10 years.
When my brother died, he already had been out for like 10 years.
And so I didn't know anything about him.
I knew he existed.
I'd seen him a couple times and knew about him on Facebook, i never i was always quiet around him i didn't say much never had really much anything to say i kind of just was like
i don't i was like i don't know what because i was like i didn't know about the guy you know
so it's like weird it's like i i know he's my dad i I know that, but I don't know. I was like, I just don't know anything about him.
And I don't know what it was.
There was he, because we were, I was friends with him on Facebook and he would post these
like pictures from when he was younger, like pictures of like from when he was locked up
or when he was, you know, you know, doing the shit that he was doing.
And finally I was just like
let me i was like let me just i just reached out to him i said can i interview you
and he was like i would love that wow really yeah and then i remember driving to his house because
he had lived like an hour and a half away from me i I was just like, okay, if it goes bad,
then you can say you tried.
That's it.
If it goes bad, you can say you tried.
Because you think about that.
You think like, I don't know how this is going to go.
But when I thought about it, I was like,
you know, if it goes bad, you can say you tried.
It's not like he was in your life already.
So it's just like, all right, whatever.
And so go over there and I just asked him anything and everything.
And he answered it?
He answered everything.
What sticks out that you really remember the most?
Man.
Probably that shootout he had with some Colombian drug lord.
What?
Was he really?
Yeah, yeah. He had some crazy shootout with some colombian drug lord yeah some something wild i don't know
if he was colombian or cuban i don't know he had some shootout and then he said they came and shot
up his house after whatever he never saw the dude again but it was a guy that he had worked for
worked under you know and then that was that was one that I was like, oh, damn.
Okay, you real deal.
So where is he now?
He's in Arizona.
And do you still talk to him?
Yeah.
Okay, good.
Yeah, talk to him all the time.
So you have a good relationship with your biological father.
We talk all the time.
You're on solid ground with stepdad.
Yeah.
And you're in a great place with mom.
Yep, and my adoptive folks.
And how old are you?
I'm 35.
Good for you, dude. And your adoptive folks Yep. And my adoptive folks. And how old are you? I'm 35. Good for you, dude.
And your adoptive folks.
Yeah.
My adoptive folks, too.
You tied them all together.
Yeah.
Like, you know, yeah, it is weird.
Because, like, I do feel equally about all of them in a way to where I'm like, yeah, this is my family.
And my mom doesn't get weird about my adoptive folks.
My mom doesn't get weird about, youive folks. My mom doesn't get weird about my stepdad or biological father.
No one gets weird about those situations.
Because they all love me.
Right.
And they all know that the kid that they all have a part of their life is trying his best.
Did your mom and dad connect a little bit over your brother's passing a little bit not a little bit at least a little bit yeah
because i mean yeah that's their child their firstborn yeah you know what i mean and yeah
and to see and to see you know my biological father deal with that too because he you know, my biological father deal with that too. Cause he, you know, and he had said something.
He told me when he was in prison, he goes, man, like, he goes, all I thought about, it's like, I have kids.
You know, it got to a point cause he was in survival mode.
You know, he, he was locked up in a very tough prison in Arizona and he was, he was just constant in survival mode.
And he was just like, man, I got, I got kids and I want to be in their lives.
But he just, he's just like, but I'm here.
You know, eventually he studied law because he was supposed to be
serving a life sentence.
So he studied law and found out the system had messed up in some way.
Something with signing people off when they're like, I don't know.
I don't know the details, but you can Google it.
But he studied law and basically got himself out.
No way.
Yeah.
Really?
Uh-huh.
Damn.
Yeah.
That's impressive.
He went back in.
I didn't tell you that part.
He went back in.
He went back in. He went back in. He went back in. He didn't tell you that far. He went back in. He went back in.
He went back in.
He went back in.
He gave himself out that time.
Not that time.
They're like, we're not going to fuck up this time.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm like, bro, you studied to get yourself, and you went back in.
How do you do all that work to go right back?
I know, man.
I was like, you worked your ass off, read 20 books.
That's too good. Dude, thank you for coming on and sharing your story. This has been great, man ass off, read 20 books. That's too good.
Dude, thank you for coming on and sharing your story.
This has been great, man.
No, this is great, man.
All right.
I mentioned at the beginning before we started recording,
after everything we've talked about here now,
what advice would you give to your 16-year-old self?
What advice would I give to a 16-year-old self?
Take more deep breaths.
I say that because I do that now.
If I feel like I see a situation that's in front of me that's, you know,
to where I'm like, it like you know tense i just go
i just keep doing that and i think i wish that was something i knew as a kid because that tension was so heavy yeah all the time you know i just wish i didn't have my guard up so strongly and aggressive because there were so many great people that I think I missed out on growing up that were trying to also show love and help.
And I think I would love to tell that kid, take a deep breath and see those people over there.
They're good people.
They're good people, too.
You know, and I think I've, you know, due to my aggression and just being a rescue, I was just aggressive all the time.
And there's some good people I think I missed out on.
That's great advice.
Yeah.
Again, thank you. uh plug everything you want yeah uh
at chapelle lacy uh on instagram chapelle lacy.com for my uh website tour dates all that stuff uh
i think october 13th through the 15th i'll be in raleigh north carolina at uh good nights and then
october 21st and 22nd Milwaukee Improv
and then November 17th
at One Nighter
at Irvine Improv.
Very nice.
Yeah.
Come here, we talk some shit.
Yeah, go see him.
And as always,
RyanSickler.com
Ryan Sickler on all social media.
We'll talk to y' you next time.