The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Tina Dybal - DybalDew

Episode Date: April 29, 2024

My HoneyDew this week is comedian Tina Dybal! (Slop City Podcast) Tina Highlights the Lowlights of moving to America, childhood addiction, and going to rehab. SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://youtube.com/@rsickler SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew What’s your story?? Submit at [e-mail] CATCH ME ON TOUR https://www.ryansickler.com/tour Los Angeles, CA | May 12th Miami, FL | June 7th & 8th Get Your HoneyDew Gear Today! https://shop.ryansickler.com/ Ringtones Are Available Now! https://www.apple.com/itunes/ http://ryansickler.com/ https://thehoneydewpodcast.com/ SUBSCRIBE TO THE CRABFEAST PODCAST https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-crabfeast-with-ryan-sickler-and-jay-larson/id1452403187 SPONSORS: MOOD -Get 20% off your first order and a free THCa pre-roll when you go to https://www.HelloMood.com and use code HONEYDEW Mack Weldon -Get 20% off your first order at https://www.MackWeldon.com when you use code HONEYDEW FÜM -Start the Good Habit at https://tryfum.com/HONEYDEW to save 10% off the Journey Pack today

Los Angeles. Sunday, May 12th, I'll be at the Bourbon Room for my show during the Netflix is a Joke Fest. Miami, Florida. I'm bringing the live in a live tour your way. I'll be at the Miami Improv Friday, June 7th and Saturday, June 8th. Get your tickets now. All tickets are available at RyanSickler.com. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to The Honeydew, y'all. We're over here doing it in the Nightpant Studios. I'm Ryan Sickler, RyanSickler.ler.com Ryan sickler on all your social media

I'm going to start this episode like I start them all by saying thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you However, you support me whether it's podcast stand up Or all of it. However, it is. Thank you whether you're new here whether you've been here I love my job because of you. Thank you for supporting this show. Thank you for supporting the way back. That thing's doing awesome right now. There's nothing more fun than sitting down for 30 minutes and just laughing with somebody about their absurd childhood

and how we're still even alive. Come see me on tour if I am in town when you are around. All of my tickets are available at ryancichler.com. All right, now that's the business. You guys know what we do here. We highlight the low lights. I always say that these are the stories behind the storytellers.

And I'm very excited to have this guest on today. First time here on the Honeydew. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Tina Debaugh. Welcome to the Honeydew, Tina. Thank you. I'm so excited. That's nice of you. Thank you for being here. Thank you.

You look like you're about, you're going to push yourself out. Yeah. You ready to go? I'm excited, but I'm also nervous and have severe ADHD as a trauma response, just to be transparent. Well, I appreciate that. Heads up. I'll keep us focused. Thank you. But before we get into your story, please promote anything you'd like. Yes.

I have a podcast with Libby Higgins, Slop City. Gotta plug that. Been doing that for five years. Slop City podcast, my Instagram at TinaDball. Yeah, I think that's going to be it. You on the road doing stand updates right now as well? Yes. Yeah, I think that's going to be it. You on the road doing stand updates right now as well? Yes, I'm on tour with Chelsea Lynn. And yeah, go to eat my trash dot com.

Real website. That's her website. And that's where you can see our dates. Oh, God. Well, thank you for being here. First of all, I know Kirsten and everybody's a big fan. We're big fans of Chelsea and Paige and all your little crew there. Hell yeah.

But I hear you have quite a story and it's been one I wanted to do. It's why we're here on a, Kirsten, when's the last time we did a Saturday episode? Maybe never. So this is business stuff. Yeah, I got a sitter for this and everything. We're ready to go.

Love it. So please tell me your story. Start at the very beginning. Okay. for this and everything. We're ready to go. Love it. So please tell me your story. Start at the very beginning. Okay. Well, I'm Tina Deball and I was born on December 25th, 1992. You're a Christmas baby. Christmas baby. No way. Yeah. Got it. Start at the beginning. You're fucked. I'm just done, dude. Oh God. And I was born in Belarus, so it's like... Really? Yeah, that's where I was born.

Okay, so... That's a country. It's not in Florida or anything. In Russia? Is Russia? Yeah. Well, no, it's not. Is it not?

So, Belarus is its own country. Okay, it is. There's Belarus, Ukraine, Poland, all kind of right next to each other. And then you got big old Russia. So, they were all part of the Soviet Union each other. And then you got big old Russia. So they were all part of, you know, the Soviet Union. That was what the other USSR or Soviet Union. Yes. Well, Soviet Union and USSR are interchangeable.

Are they? Yeah. Okay. See, I'm ignorant. I don't know that. Yeah. All right. So you grow up when Rocky's beaten up Drago.

Basically that's when you're born around then, a little after that. Yes. Right after Belarus gained independence from the Soviet Union. Rocky's beaten up Drago, basically. That's when you're born around then, Loa, after that. Yes, right after Belarus gained independence from the Soviet Union. And the cool thing about Belarus, the country I was born in, is they've had the same president since I was born. Nah. 31 years, baby.

Same dude? Same dude. But is he- Same guy. But is he in there because he's like, fuck everybody, I'm staying, or is he gonna let it every time? You know what I'm saying? Oh, dude. Is it he in there because he's like, fuck everybody, I'm staying, or is he gonna let them every time? You know what I'm saying? Oh dude.

Is it an election or is he like, I'm staying? Yeah, it's an election. I'm here till I'm gone. That's a king is what we call that. Oh dude. And now he's grooming his son to be the next guy. Oh, it's pretty, I mean, it's not cool. It's actually horrific.

So your mom and dad are married at the time? Are they? Yes. Yes. And how old are they? Are they young parents? Young parents. They are about, I think they're 22, 23.

Are you their first? Parents were born in 69. I'm their first. Okay. So parents met in college. They both went to a linguistics college north of Minsk, which is the capital of Belarus. And so they met at this linguistics college and my mom was like such a nerd, you know, definitely a Virgin. She didn't tell me that, but like, I know she was.

There's no doubt you would know it. No, oh yeah, for sure. That's such an odd thing to say about your own mother. To know she was just like uptight and prudish a little bit maybe, yeah. And that like my mom probably will watch this and be like, I'm not the Virgin, what the fuck is she talking about? Is she talking about?

I was not the Virgin. Oh yeah, she has a thick accent. Svetlana is her name. Svetlana? Yep. That's fucking, yeah, that's as Russian as it gets. Oh yeah, and my dad. I feel like Svetlana would cut your fucking throat.

Yeah, but she's so kind and like meek and all that, but she is like a boss bitch in certain ways. She got us on WIC when we got here. She was fucking moving and grooving, garage sales. That's Women and Infant Children. Yes. If you don't know what that is. Yeah.

It's a program that helps. Yeah. Yeah, it's a program. All right. So they left, why? So my dad got a job at a summer camp and I think it was like a nonprofit, basic. Hey, what's going on? We've had people come on this show

to escape Russia for their lives. Y'all left for a fucking summer camp, gang? Come on, that's a part-time job! That's a summer camp job! I was a summer camp counselor! I drove a YMCA, man! I wouldn't leave the US to go do that! That's what brought you guys here! A summer camp gig! Holy shit! We're canoeing, y'all! let's get the fuck out of here.

Oh, that's great. Yeah, my dad was like, so excited. For sure. I thought you guys left us to save your life. Oh fuck. Oh, thank God. I can curse here, is that okay? Oh, God. Okay, great.

Oh yeah, so. Oh, God. Well, okay, but listen. I'm listening, I'm listening. That's what I heard, that's pretty much what, but listen. I'm listening, I'm listening. That's what I heard. That's pretty much what I just heard. I literally heard you. I heard what you said. I took it and then I had a real response.

So yeah, my dad got like, he got some like job hookup and they didn't know where he was gonna go. He was gonna go like teach English and something else. Cause my dad, you know, they're linguistics nerds, dude. They love grammar. What else do you do with that other than teach it to someone else? There's nothing else.

The amount of times I've heard like the most annoying grammar terms come out of my parents' mouths. It's, they're just hard. Farther is distance, further is time. I hear that one a lot, so yeah. My dad's like, oh, this is adverb, okay? I'm like, okay, no one needs to know that. Stop.

And your mom's like, he's right, because they both know that. No, they bicker constantly. My mom would be like, no, this is actual verb. And then Igor will be like, no, I do not think so. Your dad's name is Igor? Yeah, dude. Jesus Christ, Igor Svetl Igor? Yeah. Jesus Christ.

Igor Svetlana? Yes. There's no way. I swear, you're gonna fucking die. What's your real name, and A-Tina? You're gonna die when you hear my middle name. What's your proper birth first name? Is it Christina? Yes. Okay, it's Christina.

Like Christina P, Christina. Yes, but not like an Italian guy. You go, Christina, Christina. Is there a K, it's aca, like that at the end? No, it's just Cristina Igorevna Diabolo. Ah, they combine. Yeah, baby. That's what we do in the USSR.

Do you really combine their names? It's a common thing. Common thing. Oh, okay, okay. You take your daddy's name and then you add on whatever cool ending. Of mom. Something like that.

So say it again, Igor what? Igor Evna. Igor Evna, okay. Man. Fucking hot, right? Yeah. Oh God, kids hated me. They were all like, cause I mean, it's such a scary name.

I remember like being in middle school. Listen, if you smiled, I'd be waiting for you to drop fangs. You know what I mean? If you said you were Igor and Svetlana, I'd be like, this bitch is gonna bite my neck. Yes, dude. All of my friends growing up were so scared of my parents.

Did they come to your house and hang out? Oh, no, because they would come one time and they'd be like, why is there herring? What is herring? Why does your dad sleep upside down? And they're like. They're like, dude, what's wrong? There's herring out.

You gotta have Doritos or anything? Why is your dad wearing a trench coat? So you can felt the fish over here. Yeah, it's like just pickled beets on. It's just, no, no one ever wanted me. So here, I'm ADHD-ing with you, no problem. So one, year one, you come to the States with your mom and dad.

Yes. But now, can I ask you? Dad came first, sorry, go ahead. Do one, year one, you come to the States with your mom and dad. Yes. But now, can I ask you? Dad came first, sorry, go ahead. Do you have family here or anything or are you guys starting brand new here? We are raw dogging it. Okay. We are raw dogging it.

That's the only way to do it. We left, like they got a chance and like my dad didn't know that it was gonna be America. Like they didn't- Oh really? Yeah, so they had like all this wild ass shit and you're not gonna fucking believe this, the KGB approached my dad. For what? At college.

Cause they found out that he was like going to America and they were like, hey, like, hey buddy buddy, what's going on JVC here? Do you want to like join KGB and stuff like that? My dad was like, I don't want any part of this. So at least that's what he told me. Can I ask you this about the KGB? Because is it, would you say it's equivalent to our FBI or more of our mafia? Bro.

Big time more illegal than an FBI? Or what would you say? I don't even think it's like, it would be considered mafia because like everyone accepts it. That's just what they're like, oh, those are the rules. Okay, yep. And I can't remember what it's called now. I think it's like FSB or something. They rebranded?

Yeah, they rebranded. They were like, listen guys, we are not KGB anymore. KGB was kill guns booty. And now like we're rebounding. They're crazy. So they changed the name or whatever. So right before he leaves, they come to your dad like, Hey, you want to be one of us? And he's like, no, I'm good. Yeah. He was like, no, I'm good.

I'm going to teach English to small fat children in America. And then he came over here. And he goes first. He goes first. And then you and mom come. Then me and mom come. And where do you go in the States? Where do you land? We make a little stop in Pennsylvania and then we head to Warrensburg, Missouri. Warrensburg, Missouri. Yeah. Which is pretty rural, right outside of Kansas City, about an hour. Okay. So yeah. And I met you and we all had dinner the other night. You had your chief's jacket on and shit. Yeah.

So you're right there, Kansas City girl. Yes. Okay. Through and through. And then you grow up in Kansas City. Is that pretty much where you stay, go to school and everything? Yep. I left Kansas City in 09 to go to rehab.

To go to rehab. Yep. 09. 16. I was going to say, I'm trying to do the math. Yeah. So let's back up a little bit. Yeah. 09. 16. I was gonna say, I'm trying to do the math. Yeah. All right, so let's back up a little bit.

Yeah, for sure. What happens where you begin to go off the rails before you get to rehab? Why are we going to rehab? What happens? I love that you asked that because that's literally the question. Like every time you ask someone,

like someone's like, I have drug stuff. It's like, yeah, okay, so what happened before? Like, what was the thing? I think there's a combination of things, but overall, now that I'm older and can look at it, I think it was a lot of Russian people just kind of like, their kids, they treat them like adults from a very young age.

So I think my parents kind of trusted me a little too much and they were very intelligent people, but they were not very street smart people. So they didn't really know like signs to look out for. When I was getting problematic. That makes sense, those are linguistic people, book smart nerds. Yes.

Could have used one that wasn't. Yes, exactly. And they're both fucking nerds dude. Like, I mean, I don't even think they've smoked a Doobie in their life. In their life? In their life. Wow. They've never smoked that chronic, dude.

Never. But that's fine. So. It's fine. Yeah, so I think it was a lot of that, kind of like parents kind of left us to our own devices, you know, type of thing. And not in a neglectful way. It's just they're like, you know, type of thing. And not in a neglectful way. It's just they're like, you know, like you need to do your shit.

You need to be reading your books. And like I was fucking reading way too early. Like my mom still to this day is like, Christina was reading when she was two years old. And my boyfriend, Rafe, is always like, no, there's no way she was reading full books at two years old. But my mom's always like, swearing. You and Kat Williams. You and Kat, man.

Oh God. Yeah, so, yeah, I think it was, some of that kind of set me up for it. And then I got into middle school. And I don't know, man, I started like partying a little bit. And then in eighth grade, I got sexually assaulted. In eighth grade? Yes. By who? So it was like one night, like at a party, multiple dudes over the night. And then Were you passed out or something?

Not at the like beginning of the night with like, I was like going to a party, whatever. And then- In eighth grade? Yes. All right, can we stop there for a second? 100%. Is this a house party, a field party?

House party. Like where are you going? Okay, so somebody's parents are gone. Yes, so, you know, we were like at someone's house, parents were gone, person's house, I was at, had an older brother type of thing, you know, older brother, all the friends. So the high school kids are doing this and you're the younger sibling. Exactly.

Got it. Yep. So, yeah, that happened one night. Is this your first time drinking or doing anything at this party? No, drank before multiple times, probably smoked weed for sure. And yeah, I mean, was definitely getting into drinking, was not a pro by any means. But after all this became one. Okay. So yeah, basically that happened. And I was a child. I mean, I was like 11, 12 years old. And I, after this all happened, this night,

you know, this was, I was spending the night at someone's house, whatever, this all happened kind of that night and earlier in the night. And then I kind of just like packed my shit and I walked home to my parents' house. How far is that? Probably like a mile or something.

I walked home to my parents' house and yeah, just basically rumors got spread. Things got very, very ugly and no one ever asked me a question. Can I ask some questions? Yeah, go ahead. Do you mind? No, not at all. Basically, you're not basically, you were raped by these boys. Yeah.

How do you remember? Like, were you, I don't, how many? Do you remember? And did you know these boys? Oh yeah, for sure. Did you know who they were? No, not really. Did you at least know that Cindy's brother or whatever? I knew of them.

You could tie to them. Oh yeah, totally knew of them. You could get to them if you needed to. Absolutely, knew of them. How many boys did that to you? So it was like two earlier in the night, you know, like some kind of whatever, being taken advantage of, drunk in a car type of thing. And then later when we went back to the night, you know, like some kind of whatever, being taken advantage of, drunk in a car type of thing.

And then later when we went back to the home, then it was that evening. I was like walking to the bathroom or something and this person kind of like passed me something. Different person than the two in the car? Yes, different person than the two in the car. And yeah, very heavy shit, dude. That is very heavy shit.

So when it's like, dude. Is that how you lost your virginity? Yes, I know, I know. And it's like, I've been, it's. I have to ask, because I, you know. It's so terrible. Like, I feel so sad for like, small Tina. Little Tina D.

Little Tina D ball, dude. Boss bitch. I was walking around like this then probably too, being like, hey, you guys wanna party that night? Are you, do you mind talking about this? No, not at all. And we don't have to get super into details. This is what the show is.

But yeah, fuck you. No, I'm not gonna get into details. The details I wanna know are things like this. After it happens, do you, is there a girl at the house, your friend, do you tell anyone or do you just get the hell out of there? I literally grabbed my belongings. And parts of this are hazy or whatever,

but I grabbed my belongings and somehow, I did leave an item of clothing at their house. So like I had walked home and then I told my parents in the morning when I walked home, I was like, oh, they dropped me off. Like I was lying. You didn't even tell your parents either. I don't know. Why?

Because we didn't have that kind of relationship. And it's not, I'm not mad at them for that. Do they know now? They're very closed off. No, but they. Well, if your mom watches this. Yeah. And I've talked about it on my podcast kind of too. I was going to say this is- No, no, no. It's okay. It's yeah. I've never like said, oh, it was like this one night, these three, da da da. But whatever shit happens.

And I'm alive. I'll tell you what, as a parent, I don't want to find out this happened to my daughter on some podcast 20 years from now. Yeah, I hope she comes to me. Yeah, I'll kill every motherfucker in that place. Yeah. Be a great reason to beat some kids. Just some high school punk. Who here is under 18? Who's 18 and over? Law's gonna take care of you. I'm gonna take care of this. All you all you motherfuckers, you're going down.

So yeah, I didn't, and that's- All right, so these are kids in your circle-ish, so are they in your community? They're in my school. You gotta see them and shit? Ryan, so many people found out about it afterwards, like social media was starting, so people were like, da-da-da-da-da on Facebook.

And what are they saying? You're a slut, you're a whore. They're not supporting you, of course. Yeah, oh God, I don't think like. They're not supporting you, of course. Yeah, oh God. I don't think like hardly anyone asked me a question about it. So these boys got ahead of it.

Yeah. And went out and said that you basically did this shit with them. I'm not sure what. There's no way they didn't. Well here's what happened. Yeah, so there was, well there was like some stuff, some evidence like left on my front porch

the following day by these people, by these girls. Clothing that I left at the home and they like wrote on there like, hi, I'm Tina Deball, I'm a slut. I blank blank blank this person. So then, yeah dude. Girls are vicious. Oh my God, it's like a lifetime movie.

I couldn't fucking write. I was like, now when I look back at it, I'm like, what the fuck? How am I alive? How did I not fucking like end it? That's so sad. This is the beginning. This is your origin story of heading into substance abuse.

Heading into the fucking. Let's move on to that. Great, love it. What happens? What is your first taste of whatever and what do you love? What is it that gives you a problem? I mean, honestly, I think after that moment, really anything, but opiates were something that really, when I started doing those, that took me to a turn for the worse.

How old were you? I kind of dabbled with everything. So let's see, I was probably like 12 when I really started like drinking, partying, raging. Yeah, dude. Me at frat parties, I was like, 12. Yeah. Oh, God. Because I skipped a grade. My mother demanded that me and my brother skipped grades. She's like, Christina and Anton are going to be skipping this grade. And we did. We skipped a grade. We were already young for a grade. grades. She's like, Christina and Anton are going to be skipping this grade. And we did. We skipped a grade.

We were already young for our grades. Yeah, who's going to argue with Svetlana at the God damn guidance counselor office? Nobody. They're skipping the grade. No, you can't, dude. It's like, she's like, they're like, God, she's thin, but terrifying.

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by going to tryfume.com slash honeydew and getting the journey packed today. Fume is giving listeners of my show 10% off when they use my code honeydew to help make starting the good habit that much easier. So when do, when does it get to a point where your parents have to call it out and send you to a rehab? Like, yeah, basically, uh, 16. Here's the thing though. I was the one who kind of had to like, kind of jumpstart a lot of this to be like, hey, I need to go to rehab. They definitely started to notice a lot of problems. I was going to say, you were hiding it that well?

It wasn't great. It was definitely, I had been getting caught coming home drunk, stuff like that, you know, like coming home booze on my breath and all that. And you know, was always trying to like stay out, party, be at like friends houses and stuff after that. Cause you know, I'm trying to fucking cope dude. I'm in survival mode. Cause I just numbed it out.

I literally was like, boom, let's go onto the next thing. So that's when the drugs- But also these girls are still in your school and everything. So as a constant reminder, even if they're not still bullying you or bothering you, you walk past these people. How can that not be a visual reminder of that shit?

Oh, God, yeah. Terrible. So you finally step up and say, hey, I'm not hiding it well, but what I am hiding is how fucked up I really am over here. Yes. Okay. And I need help. Well, yeah. So things, here's when it really spiraled was I was, I think, 15 and I had been 15, yeah, I was probably 15. I'd been doing heroin at this point for like six months because things went basically from

like booze, weed, hydrocodone, coke, you know, Molly, fun stuff like that, kind of all of those things all at once. So it was like, I went from like booze and weed to like everything else. So like I've done every drug except acid and smoked meth. I'm not a piece of trash. When you say heroin, was it just pills or did you ever snort? I shot it.

You did? Yeah, so that's kind of how it got caught. How old were you shooting heroin? I got hep C. So. From did? Yeah, so that's kinda how it got caught. How old were you shooting heroin? I got hep C, so. From needles? Yeah, when I was 16. You go. 16?

Yeah. You're a baby. I know, dude, it's fucked. You shoot needles in your arms? It's like, yeah. And what piece of shit's teaching you how to do that? Yeah, I mean, whatever. I'm not.

I don't wanna tell my uncle about it. No. Listen. Oh God. I know I said I don't wanna tell my uncle. No, listen. Oh God. I know I said I didn't have family here, but I didn't know. So when you, so you have health issues that flag everything, hepsis. Exactly.

And that's when your parents find out. Bro, this was the wildest spiral of events. Cause it was like, I get really into drugs. I mean, this went from like probably 12 to 16, four years. I lived like 30 or like 15 years in that like four year period. Cause I mean, I was like- You're Janis Joplin for fucking four years.

Dude, I was raging. I'm fucking 30 year old guys. I'm just- No. I swear. It's like- Tina. I'm just, I swear it's like. Tina. I was, I know. At 15.

I know. There were 30 year old men that, where are you finding them? Dude, doing drugs. Drugs, partying, older guys. You know what I'm saying? And listen, I know that this sounds so wild to you, but this is not uncommon.

Like I know it's not. And that's disturbing as fuck too. Oh, for sure. I'm sure you probably knew girls your age, even if you weren't friends with them, that were doing the same thing. 100%. 30, oh fuck.

Oh yeah, I mean, whatever, 20 year old, 30 year old, older guys for sure. I know for a fact there was like a 28 year old guy. Just for drugs or because you were fucked up? Just drugs, stuff like that, you know? Just being in drug world in a weird spot. And where are you doing that? In their house?

These drug addicts can't have houses or trap houses or? Yeah, there was some people's houses, some people's cars, you know what I mean? People I was hanging out with at the time, friends. Oh yeah, dude, wild. I mean, it's like, I was, I was, I was raging hard. And it's crazy because my parents, you know, I lived in a nice area. I don't want to make a joke here, but I would say we take that G out and put a P in

there and it was, yeah. That's exactly what was happening. That's what was happening. Yeah, dude, I know. Heavy shit. Fuck. I'm so sorry, like I can't even, it's hard to look in your eyes and know that happened to you. Oh, that's really sweet.

This is insane. I know, it's fucked up. All you, Libby too, like the fucking, I mean, man. Yeah, it's crazy. And then here's the crazy thing too, is the fucking, I mean, man. Yeah, it's crazy. And then here's the crazy thing too, is the more I sit across from women, the more I hear what you just said. Yes.

This isn't that crazy. It's not. Like I have friends telling me now, your daughter's nine, in a few years, Ryan, you're gonna see perverted men at the mall, look at your kid, and I'm like, what? Because, you know, I can't think like that. I was never an adult man looking at someone's child in a sexual way, nor could I ever.

So I don't assume that you would want to, but I have to. And she's like, you better start watching out for it. And I'm like, don't tell me that. But I need to hear it. For sure. And I hear this shit and I'm terrified. I know. Just for your life and you are, how are you here?

For real, you should be dead. What do you mean? And like, oh how are- Just in life, in that seat right now. Oh, I thought you- To trust adult men when you're a child and you're doing drugs, you're not overdosing, you're not being murdered in these, I mean, man, you seen Dateline?

I mean, come on. Oh God, yeah. I mean, I've OD'd multiple times. You're saying it like a- I've never been- You're saying it like a- I'm going to Florida twice. Listen, stop, I gotta tell you this.

Chelsea and I were in the car the other day, Chelsea Lynn, we were in the car the other day and I was like telling her about something. I go, you know, man, it's like, we like, we lost our first friend to an overdose together. And Chelsea was like, and then started laughing so hard. She goes, Tina, the fact that you just say shit like that, like it's normal, like a rite of passage. We were laughing so hard, but it's like, it truly,

it's crazy, but I also can't even believe I was that person now in a way. Like I see everything I've like, come through and all that I've been through and all I've like, I'm like, I know it's really fucked up, but I'm like, I'm obviously not glad that it happened. It is horrible. It is an actual tragedy. But, like, I don't know, dude. I think it's like made me who I am today. No doubt. I feel like I found my people, dude.

Well, here's the thing too about people like you and us and people that sit in that chair and go through these things. Like, you have a choice. Yeah. You have a choice to stay there and either die or get murdered. God knows what's gonna happen to you on that side of things.

Yes. Or you fucking get up and you go that way and you figure it the fuck out day by day, the best you can. That's it. That's all you can do. Yeah. And you're. That's it. That's all you can do. Yeah. And you're doing great.

Thanks. So now we go to rehab. Yes. Are your parents about to find out you've had sex with men in their 30s when you were a kid in the car and stuff? Like is that about to happen? Oh my God. Just as a parent I'm tearing up.

We could totally edit this by the way. Honestly, it's like- We can totally edit this by the way. Honestly, it's like. We can totally edit this out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I know we can and whatever, it's fine. We'll think, I don't know. We go to rehab. Let's get the rehab.

Yes. All right, where is rehab and who sends you to rehab? Your parents agree like, okay, it's time, you need help. Yeah, so after, so I get diagnosed with hep C, I'm in hospital. And mind you, I'm 16. So I am in the pediatric ward because I am a minor. And can I ask you this too? Like, are you sure the hep C is not from just needle? Listen, man, you can't get it sitting next to me. Okay. No, but you're having sex with these men. How do you know one of them wasn't sick and gave it to you?

For sure, that is very probable, but it's pretty unlikely, because all the people I was sharing needles with, all have. So you were sharing needles. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Oh yeah, dude. We were fucking.

That hurts my arm. Oh God, I know, it's so gross. It's like, what the fuck? But hey man, I was fucking flying by the seat of my pants and just fucking, literally. I was like, hey man, I will take these off if you can help me out. All right, so now we're in rehab where?

Where is that? So I start in Kansas City in rehab and then I go from Kansas City to St. Louis. They deem me, they're like, hey, listen, you got to go. You got to get out of Kansas City. You got to get your shit together and you got to go. So I don't know, I just kind of agreed to it because I was like, I knew I was going to die. Like I was like, okay, I got to- There's nowhere else the story goes. You're right. You're right. And I was like, OK, I've got to get it together. So go to St. Louis in 2009, and I go to rehab there,

this place called Crossroads. Crossroads, Crossroads. Yeah. At 16? Yes, I was 16 when I went in. And your parents are OK? Positive for Hep C, just rolling in like, hey, ladies, how y'all doing?

How far is St. Louis to Kansas City? Four hours, three and a half, four hours. All right, so your parents could still get to you. Yeah, and my mom drove me there and everything. And I think it's, my parents just didn't really, they didn't know they were gonna deal with this kind of shit. So that's all, you know, they kind of just like learned. Well, it's the same thing I'm saying,

like I don't think of children sexually. Yeah. And the way your mom is probably, and dad were nerds, they probably never even considered Molly or, why would anyone go that way? No. Yeah, they can't even imagine you're doing what? Well, and they grew up in Soviet Russia, dude.

They were in survival mode, man. They were raised by parents that had trauma. You know, like who went through fucking World War II and all that bullshit. Yeah, and your dad's like, we gotta go to a summer camp. Yeah, and my dad. His parents are in World War II. Oh, God, can you, his family probably is like.

His family's like, you're going where? I just, I just realized why they hate us. Why they're mad at him. They're rationing food and everything. He's going to fucking kayak. I know Why they're mad at him. They're rationing food and everything. He's going to fucking kayak. I know why they're mad at him now. I didn't understand it until now. They literally are mad,

cause they're like, you know, eager kind of a bad, something, whatever. They've got some bitterness. That's why, cause they're like, Oh, Mr. Igor went to summer camp. He's jumping in lakes, sending photos of him waving from lake like this, like Forrest Gump.

No doubt that's what it is. No doubt that's what it is. All right, so we're in St. Louis rehab. And what sort of rehab is this? So the, what they preach. What are your days like? Yeah, so I entered into an intensive outpatient program, which was five days a week, four hours a day.

Can I ask a question? Yeah. You're 16, so outpatient, where are you going when you leave there? I am staying at someone's house who is part of the program. Okay. Like a family. So you're supervised still? I'm supervised. You're not free to go buckle out in St. Louis now?

No, no, no, no. No, I'm supervised. I've got, you know, I've got a very limited amount of money. I'm being doled money out. It's very, you know, and I was smoking hell of cigs at the time too, which is so funny that I was having like people buy me cartons of cigarettes at 16. And everyone did it.

They're like, yeah, this bitch has been through a lot. Let's buy her, let's buy her a cigarette. Hey, get her some ice cream, get her some cigarettes. Let's just fucking get her through this next six months. So yeah, so I stayed at someone's house who was part of the program. And I was in this intensive outpatient program for four months, just about.

I turned 17, I think, right when I got out of treatment. And I mean, this shit was crazy, dude. Like that's a lot of time to be spending. And I, the guy that was my counselor, I think he was 22 at the time, had, you know, probably some licensing. I don't really think any kind of accreditation to be like, yeah, you know, probably some licensing. I don't really think any kind of accreditation to be like, yeah, so let's talk about it, you know,

cause they were intense, dude. I promise you, there's no fucking way what you're bringing into there, that guy is qualified for. That's what I'm saying. There ain't no way. No! This 22 year old asshole is right here, what you gotta say with his little certificate on the wall. Oh yeah, dude.

And he's there, oh God. And he was kind of a nerd. Nice guy. Everyone there was great. I mean, like they were nice, but the first day I got there, I am literally like, I got high eight hours before. I'm like smoking cigs on the way in

and people are like, hi Tina, we love you. And everyone's hugging me right away. Right when I walked in, Ryan, first thing they do. And I was so like, I mean, I'm like, what the fuck's going on here, bro? I was just like, okay, this is fucking crazy. Like, I don't really know what's happening. And I mean, it was just like a bomb.

They like love bomb you right when you get there. And then you gotta love bomb new ones when they come in. That's where my head's at already. Like I ain't hugging no new motherfucker in here. I'm already off now. Oh dude, but then I get like a year into rehab and I'm like, ba ba ba ba. I'm like on steering committee.

I'm like leading meetings. I'm like fucking killing it. Were you? I was. You were? Isn't that hilarious? I fucking started a fucking, I started a rebel, no, not really,

but I was like on the steering committee. Like I took that motherfucker over. What's a steering committee? I know I'm using cult language. It's like Scientology. I say it like it's like everybody knows this. You just said cult. So what is this?

Tell me where we are. Where the hell, are we in robes? We are in, no, everyone wears normal clothes. So they have one little building that's called the satellite, the shop. It has multiple different names. And there's younger group and older group rehab in, you know, going on.

What's the youngest kid you remember seeing in there? Dude, like 13. And he was like such a pussy, like smoke one weed one time. And his parents were like, Oh God, oh God, Kevin's gonna die. And it's like, dude, Kevin's a fucking pussy. Kevin, what are you talking about?

Kevin's fine. Kevin's gonna be- Kevin's 14 and sucking dicks and pickup trucks, you call me. Yeah, I'm like the fucking poster child. I'm like, listen, you guys don't need to bring in your kids here. Okay. You're fine.

You're the litmus test at the school. Oh my God. Yeah. They're like, I'm the, what do you think? Deena he's fine. Oh dude. He's got, yes. It was, I was like that.

So, um, they, the way that these places tout it is enthusiastic. I'm sorry, people are going to yell at me for interrupting the shit I do. I don't care. But is it hard not to be judgy in a rehab? Meaning like you hear what they, like what you're doing right now with that kid, like that's all you fucking did, bro? Is it hard not to be judgy? And listen, I want to say this.

I'm not making fun of, like I'm not trying to be like, Oh, fuck that little pussy guy. Cause that joint could have sent him into psychotic fucking mental breakdown or something. Especially that age. Exactly dude. And people deal with trauma differently. Like you could have had, another girl could have had the same thing that happened to me happen to them, but they might've had the resources to deal with it. And they could have been better off afterwards, whatever. So that's the point of all this is to talk about shit. So we fucking learn from our mistakes and don't fuck this up for the next

generation. Like your daughter. That's all we can do is better than we got. Yeah. Okay. So back to the rehab. So I love you. They're doing it. I'm the ringleader, I'm on steering committee. Steering committee was just basically like, you know, the leaders, like we led meetings, cause we had, I mean, our weeks were planned out at this place, dude. Monday through Friday, outpatient, four hours a day. You hang out with people from the program every single night, that is your life.

Where, where are we going for that? People's houses, doing weird fear missions. I mean, we did. Fear mission? Yeah. What's a fear mission? It's basically something that they do to like be like, oh, we're gonna like get this newcomer out of their head.

You know, we're gonna get them out of their head and we're gonna have fun tonight. It's gonna be crazy. And basically they like scare people. Like there was. So they're traumatizing, you know, we're going to get them out of their head and we're going to have fun tonight. It's going to be crazy. And basically they like scare people. Like there was... So they're traumatizing, traumatize people. Like that's the hazing. Do you know what they did one time to somebody? We were all... Why are we hazing anyone who's coming in the rehab? I don't know. I did. I was a part of it one time. I was like sitting in the car and they were like, okay, watch this.

We're going to go into this creepy little area. And then right when you get there, someone's going to come out of here, open the door and pull one of you out and we're going to scare the newcomer and it's going to get them out of their head. And they're not going to think about doing drugs for a minute. And I was like, okay, um, what the fuck's going on? That might make me do drugs. I see some shit like that.

Yeah, so, you know, they just, there was a lot of weird, weird, weird stuff like that. Lot of cult language, you know. Any weird behaviors too? Like, is there rituals or is there? Oh yeah, before every meeting, because we would do meetings twice a week, Tuesdays and Thursdays. For every meeting, because we would do meetings twice a week, Tuesdays and Thursdays.

For every meeting they would do these chants and this is what, they would literally like do this chant, they called it IRF. I think it was like, I think that means Emergency Relief Fund. Do you know what I'm talking about? I know what an emergency relief fund is, but I've never, no, I know NERF. I don't know IRF. What's NERF? The football, N, but I've never, no, I know Nerf. I don't know Nerf. What's Nerf? The football, Nerf football.

Oh, okay, gotcha. Yeah. I don't know what that means. They have a bunch of Nerf toys actually, but football's the one I go to. Right on. Yeah, so they do chants before every meeting. How many people are in this?

I'd say a hundred at a time. Oh wow, that's a lot. So, and I mean about like 20 of them are in treat, maybe 20 to 40 of them are in treatment. And then the rest of the people are just part of the group until they graduate. Oh, so they're actually recovering addicts and then they graduate out.

Yes, so that, and that's what I did. I was there from 2009 to 2012 and I graduated. You were in this thing for three years? Yeah, dude. Oh my God, three years. Oh yeah. This is your high school. Oh my God, I didn't even fucking think of that, kind of.

It is, you're 16 you go in. Well, yeah, I mean, I was 16, 17 or whatever. I was a junior when I went in. Okay, so you're junior, senior and freshman year of college is in rehab. Exactly. Yeah. It was. And are they teaching you anything in there? Like, do you have a curriculum? Are they doing math and science? Or are you just in there just...

No. No. No. They like, no, not at all. They know you have, that you're obviously not in high school anymore because you're there. Yeah. I mean, so I dropped out, I had to drop out of high school obviously to go to rehab, get my shit together. I ended up getting, so I dropped out, I had to drop out of high school, obviously, to go to rehab, get my shit together. I ended up getting my high school diploma online

because I had like two- In rehab? Yeah, I had like two more credits left because I was in like college classes. I got out of school at like 11 a.m., so I had the perfect time to do drugs. You know what I mean? So because you were smart and accelerated, you would get out early because you were ahead in credits and then you would take that time to do drugs.

The opposite of smart and accelerated. Oh, yeah. You were smart so you could do drugs. Yeah. That's kind of wild. It was great. So what are these chants? Give me an example of some of these chants. And it's a hundred people doing this? Oh, yeah. That's a lot of fucking people. Oh yeah, dude, it gets lit in there. People are like, ah, you know, they're fucking hype. Like it's creepy.

It's got a real like church vibe, but here let me think of some of the chants I would like start out. They'd be like, okay, one of them, they would pass this hat around and be like, you know, you shit and sinks if you don't give to Earth. They would have these like chants that everybody would sing along.

I can't really remember any of them to be honest. But that's all I remember is like naming off things that you would be called if you don't give to Earth. So you're a piece of shit if you don't donate to Earth. Yeah, basically it's like. But where the fuck are you supposed to get money if you're in this goddamn rehab? Yeah, which costs a lot of money.

Don't you think they're preaching to the wrong people, the most broke ass people that's stuck in this building and can't go earn an income? Yes, but yeah. So they're really telling you to tell your parents, hey, we want some more money and we're trying to hustle it out of you guys? Guess so, something like that, for sure.

And what's shit in sinks? Okay, so, when I was probably like six months over, I thought it would be really funny one night to just shit in some people's sinks. Sober. 100% sober. That's sinks. Sober. 100% sober. See, it's opposite for me.

I think if I ever had that thought cross my mind, it would definitely be shit faced. I would never be sober. 100% sober. What do you mean they're sinks? What kind of sinks? Like they're kitchen sinks? Where are these sinks that you're gonna shit in?

And how many shits are you gonna take that you're gonna do multiple things? One of the girls had like a lifelong eating disorder, so she had a lot of bowel problems. It was like, oh, I can knock one out whenever. And she was down to do this with you? Oh, yeah. You got a teammate to do this with?

You rallied people to do this? You weren't solo-missioned on this? How many girls did this with you? I think two of us were the shitters. Two of you were shitters. One of them might've let like a little Hershey's kiss out. A little over. A little toot.

But yeah, so yeah. Where are the sinks? They're at various bathrooms. We went to two locations. And you shit in the sinks? Yes. I don't. And then what happens?

I mean, people flip. People lose their fucking minds. We're getting phone calls. Get the fuck back here and clean up your fucking shit. Oh, people are losing it. What the fuck? What the fuck's wrong with you? Oh, dude. Every. Oh, the counselors the next day are like, what the fuck's wrong with you? Oh dude. You're sober. Every, oh the counselors the next day are like,

what the fuck? What the fuck? And we were like. Who told on you? Were there cameras? Do they have cameras everywhere? No, it's just, that's the thing though. Everyone tells on each other there.

Cause they're kind of like, they're like, hey, so what was Tina doing last night? Like when did she get to the function? Oh, seven o'clock. She's shitting in the six. They're like, you're not gonna believe this. Yeah, I'm gonna believe it. God damn it, dude.

It's all Tina Deball shitting in the six. Yeah, oh, and they pulled me into a room and they were like, what were you thinking? And I was like, I thought it was funny. And what did they say to that? They literally were like, it's not funny. And I was like, I thought it was funny. And what did they say? They literally were like, it's not funny. And I was like, okay, but it is funny. Like it's kind of funny.

They went into their bathroom and there was just shit in there. That's hilarious. And then that really became part of the chant. And they're saying it became part of the chant because people were appalled. People were appalled. And listen, this place has locations in other areas. They've got Kansas City, they got Phoenix, they got all these other areas.

I mean, people were chit chatting about the shitting in the sink. Maybe I tried to relive my high school thing or something. I was like, yeah, I'm gonna make a name for myself again. And I'm reclaiming. This is my time to shine and I choose to shit. Shit in the sink. That's what I'm saying.

You got good grades, did drugs. You're time to shine, shat in the sink. Yes, I'm just self-sabotaging. Stop wasting those opportunities, girl. Dude, I could have used it to do- The golden eggs in your lap right here. Don't shit on it. I could have used it to do something powerful

and what I did was shit. And I'm telling you, I stood by it. It is pretty powerful, I gotta say that. There is a photo of me. It's a powerful message. Do you know what I was for Halloween that year? Piece of shit in a sink. Nuh-uh.

Yep, this stuff is a big piece of shit. Do you have that picture? Yeah, somewhere. Send that to Kirsten, please. I will, 100%. Send that. I will, and we took a Tupperware bot thing and we're like, burr, drilled it,

and I was like the sink. I love that you're leaning into it still after they're like, drilled it. And I was like the sink. I love that you're leaning into it still after like, what's wrong with you? Well, it's like they were like, well, you're doing it to make yourself not attractive to men right now. That's what you're doing. And I was like, no, I shit in the sink because it's fucking funny. And they were like, no, you're trying to you're trying to make yourself unattractive to everybody. And I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? I shit in these guys' sink because we were fucking bored and we're all trying to not get fucking high. We're at Denny's, chain smoking cigarettes inside, playing fucking spades.

16. All trying to not fuck each other. And it's like, what? And you're asking me why I shit in a sink? Because I'm trying to, like, I was, what do you mean why? Yeah, so here's the thing. I really do think it saved my life in a way.

But it's like, it's so problematic that, because a lot of people can't take what they learn at places like that and internalize it. Or externalize it into a sink. Yeah, listen, be like me guys, get it all out. Let me tell you something. I am not gonna sit in this seat nor do I ever sit in a seat and judge anybody.

What happened to you, whatever goes on after that, you didn't hurt anybody. You didn't hurt anybody, just shit in the sink. Just a little dookie, y'all. You're allowed to do whatever the fuck you wanna do the rest of your goddamn life. Thank you. Yeah. I appreciate that.

You're allowed to do it. For sure. But it's like, I kinda, now I- I'll tell you what. If those people put up one of the stories I've heard you tell today versus, I promise you, I'm less appalled by you shitting in the sink than anything you told me about what happened to you

growing up as a kid. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. I mean, perspective. Yeah. So. Hell yeah, brother.

I mean, I don't know if I'd continue that, but you know, you got to. The shitting in sinks? Oh, for sure. I'm not going to do that again. Yeah, that's a wrap. You got two out. And then I shit in someone's backyard. Or like something.

Wait, just in the yard? Yes. I did it in middle school. This girl, Bianca, I shit in her backyard. I don't know what's wrong. Was she part of that fucking crew? No. She was like a nice girl that like, you know,

we became friends and like partied together in high school. Did you ever tell her? Because this was after this all happened. It's like, I kind of got into drugs, but you know, people still hung out with me and stuff. They, it was just kind of like, Tina's crazy. You know, she's doing drugs, so hide stuff. It was just kinda like, Tina's crazy. You know, she's doing drugs, so hide your purse when she's around kinda thing.

Okay. So we're shitting in sinks. We get cleaned up. Did you realize that I just ADD'd out? I was like, where? No, I heard you tell people to hide their purses around you. Would you steal from people's purses? Money and stuff like that.

Yeah, that's the thing people worry about. Yeah. The money and stuff like that. I don't care if you take my mints and my gum. Yeah, you know, jewelry and money, just shit like that. Yeah, this shit everyone worries about being stolen from their purse. For sure.

I won't say I was the greatest. And I do, I am sorry to anybody that I did hurt and whatever and all that. That's fine. Great. I'll say all that. Did you steal from stores? Did you ever do that? Oh yeah. Love shoplifting. You were a shoplifter? Yes. Got banned from Macy's. Banned?

Yes. What did you get caught with that got you banned? Well, so here's what I was doing. I was on a competitive dance team at the time. So I was probably, I don't know, 12 or 13 on a competitive dance team. Me and an older gal go to the mall in between rehearsal. We're getting ready, dude. It's production time.

We need to be fucking on our A game. We got nationals and stuff. So we go to the mall. I shoplift something, I guess, while we're there. Think a little bra or something. I get caught, apprehended. My mother has to come and get me and I get banned from Macy's until I was 18. Really?

Yeah. But my mom was so funny because when I was in rehab, we were in St. Louis and I got banned in Kansas City. My mom's like, Oh Tina, I wish we could go to Macy's. And I was like, mom, we could go to Macy's. And I was like, mom, we can go in there. Like they don't have like face recognition or anything. And she's like, literally she goes, no, we cannot go in there until you're 18 years old. That is what they said.

And she stuck to that. She did. She was like, she did not. She was like, no. That whole staff is gone now and shit. Yeah, dude. It's like a teenager working there that one day. That's what they tell you,

they didn't ban you forever. All right, so what happens where you finally get out of rehab? Is there a, do you have to pass a test? I mean, you're in there for three years. Yeah. So why? Why is it, you know, do you have to be 18 to get out?

Cause you're a minor? Like, what is it? Inter, I don't think so. I mean, I just, do you have to be 18 to get out because you're a minor? Like, what is it? I don't think so. I mean, I just, it kind of got to the point where like, I think I got what I needed out of it. And they kind of like start to, here's kind of what I think, they kind of push some people to graduate out

because they're doing things that are kind of like, not gonna align with the program type of thing. Cause I started going to comedy clubs when I was in standup, like just to watch. In rehab? Yeah, sorry, in rehab. Okay. Just to watch, cause it was a place that I could go,

smoke cigarettes, they had midnight shows at the Funny Bone in St. Louis, like. Yeah. Did I just spit on you? No, I'm just wiping my, I touch my eyes all the time. Okay, no problem. Biggest insecurity. I would promise you, I'd be like, Tina, you just fucking spit on me

and I'll tell Kirsten to market. OK, and let everyone know. And we would edit around it. Oh, that's great. Yeah. So sorry, what was I talking about? You were talking about they would graduate some people out and what you had to do.

You said you got what you needed out of it. Yeah, I think I kind of got what I needed out of it. But how long were you clean and sober in there? The whole time. So 2009 to like July something, 2009. No relapses, no sneak outs. Nothing. 2009 to 2013.

So I had about four years sober total off everything. And you're how old when you get out? No booze, no drugs. 19? Yeah, 20. And where do you go? Back to Kansas City? Nope. State in St. Louis. Because it's like my plan was go to rehab here in St. Louis, move back to Kansas City. Obviously, I just kind of stayed here because it's like I built

a life. Next thing I know, I had a job. Next thing I know, I had friends. I had an apartment. I had, you know, things were like looking up and I was like, Kansas City's only four hours away. Like it just felt right to stay in St. Louis. So yeah. And then I worked bar jobs, kind of like was just figuring it out, living life. And that wasn't tempting or problematic to work at a bar?

Oh yeah, in 2014, I started like drinking again and smoking weed and all that. And that wasn't tempting or problematic to work at a bar? Oh, yeah. In 2014, I started drinking again and smoking weed and all that. How long were you clean total? Four years. And then you started drinking? Were you using anything else? I definitely did have some coke dabbles and all that because in my mind, I was like, well, I'm not doing heroin.

I'm just farting around, just doing some coke dabbles and all that. Cause in my mind I was like, well, I'm not doing heroin. You know, I'm just farting around, just doing some coke. So yeah, I did do some of that stuff, but got away from that. So now just booze and weed. Only. Yup. And responsibly. Yeah, a hundred percent. I mean, I've had some slip ups and all that.

I'm not saying I've been fucking perfect. It's like there have definitely been some times where it's like I've gotten out of control and with drinking in the past five, eight years, whatever. But I feel like where I'm at now and where I've been at for the last few years is a super good place. I smoke so much more weed now than ever and I love it.

I don't drink as much as I used to. I definitely smoke more weed now and I just think it's kind of good for me. It kind of helps my anxiety. Oh, no doubt. For me too, I focus so much better on it. Same. I really believe I'm a better person, better parent, better everything. My mood, I mean, for real, it's really helped a lot.

I'd rather do that than take some medication I'm given that's got 40 side effects. Can I just step outside for 15 minutes? I'll smoke a joint. I'll come in, we'll fucking build Legos, we'll do whatever you want. Hell yeah, brother. And I won't yell when I step on it. You're going to be like, hell yeah, I'm fucking grateful for that Lego. Yeah.

You know what I'm grateful for? I'm grateful for you for doing this episode. I'm grateful that you're alive. Thanks, honey. I can't even believe that's how it ends right now, you alive. Yeah. Can I ask you how old you are? 31.

Jesus Christ, you've lived a hundred fucking years. I know. It's easy. You how old you are? 31. Jesus Christ, you've lived a hundred fucking years. I know. You have, you're only 31. I'm sorry if that was such a chaotic story at all over the place. Why would you apologize for what happened to you in your life? No, you didn't do that.

Yeah, you're right. Man. And do you, I guess I want to ask you this too. Do you have a good relationship with your parents where you, like when they watch this, will you be able to talk to them about it after or will it just be one of those like, I didn't know that and that's the end.

No, I think we can totally talk about it, but it's like, it's, it's just heavy and I'm kind of like, Oh God, I've dealt with so much of it. I'm kind of like, let's kind of, you know, I'm trying to like shed that last layer of all this shit. It's like done therapy. I've done rehab. I've done a lot of the stuff. I'm not antide done therapy. I've done rehab. I've done a lot of the stuff. I'm on antidepressants.

You've done everything you could. I shit in sinks, baby. You tried to expel all of it. Yes, I'm trying to shed these motherfucking layers and I will shit in whoever's sink I got to along the way. All right, I'm gonna ask you this question and then we're gonna wrap it up here because I'm curious to know what you would say

to your 16 year old self. So what advice are you giving to 16 year old Tina? Because you're going to rehab. Sorry. I think the advice that I would give myself is I think the advice that I would give myself is, God, it's so fucking cliche, but it's like, hey, it's okay. You're gonna be fine.

I wanna cry in a good way. I mean, we say it all the time. It's okay to not be okay. You'll be fine. You did great. Go for you. I'm happy for you. Thanks. Oh, um, will you promote whatever you'd like to again, please?

Yes. Oh God, all of this with all of that net, we, we got the heavy shit out of the way. Now go listen to my podcast. I do slop city with Libby Higgins. It is the greatest podcast ever. It's bits, improv. We started Stand Up Together. We're best friends. Please listen to it. I'm so proud of it. And that's a great thing for me to say about something I do. So Slop City, see me on tour. Yeah, see whatever city I'm in, at Tina DeBall on everything. All socials and that's it. That's all I got.

Thank you very much. Thanks, honey. You got it. As always, Ryan Sickler on all your social media, come see me on tour. All tickets are at RyanSickler.com. We'll talk to you all next week.