The Joe Budden Podcast - I'll Name This Podcast Later Episode 3
Episode Date: March 4, 2015Joe talks about his trip to LA and complains about celebrities who have a bad selection of chicks. He also discusses his confusion over snapchat, the definition of a threesome, and Marisa joining a su...gar daddy website!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
All right, ladies and gentlemen, Joe Budden.
Marissa, go ahead.
Move it up, same word.
Yeah.
To all the killers and the hundred dollar billers.
For real, because who ain't got no feelings?
Feelings.
All right, I will name this podcast later, which I see quite a few.
Listen, quite a few of you fucking bloggers out there.
And I fucking hate all of you, by the way.
You love me, though.
You don't really count as a blogger.
Super blogger.
I hate all you fucking bloggers except for the bloggers that I'm friends with.
Holla.
Which just happens to be a lot of bloggers.
But outside of them, I fucking hate the bloggers. So I saw quite a few of you bloggers.
With a name.
As you were blogging the show, you were saying.
I still don't have a name yet.
Yeah, he doesn't have a name for his podcast.
Hello.
Which clearly the name of the podcast is I'll name the podcast later.
This podcast.
Well, yeah, but you know.
Same diff.
Tomatoes and hot dogs.
So let's just work that out next time, you guys.
What do you call it?
Re-blog?
No, it's just post.
Oh.
That's it?
Yeah, we're not re-blogging because that would mean that they copied something from something else.
That's what's happening.
No, but no.
No, they're just posting it.
We don't care about that. This is not that important. No, but now, no, they're just pulsing it with their own wording. We don't care about that.
This is not that important.
Anyway, you already ruined
our last podcast.
So we're not going to have that happen again.
Listen, to the listeners out there,
I want to send my most humble apologies
out to you guys.
Fuck off.
We did our first podcast.
I really didn't know shit about a podcast.
We came in here.
I was the lead chair.
Marissa was the sidekick. My co-host. And she was great in that role. I was. We came in here. I was the lead chair. Marissa was the sidekick,
my co-host.
And she was great
in that role.
Was.
I'm pretty great.
And then she left
out of here.
Started talking
to her fucking
fuckity fuck friends
who don't know
shit about shit.
And my fans.
Shout out to Twitter.
Oh my God.
Shut the fuck up.
You're not a fan.
You have like
a thousand followers.
I have 16.4 thousand followers.
Look at you.
Sorry that I wasn't on TV and didn't have Pump It Up as a hit single and Marcus Houston in the club and shit like that.
My bad.
And Escape Route and Halfway House and mad other shit.
Yeah, but you know.
And Moon Music 1 and Moon Music 2 and Moon Music 3 and Moon Music 4 and Slaughterhouse debut and Welcome to Our House and In the Club.
Is it In the Club?
All right, just shut the fuck up.
Anyway, so yeah, Marissa went out and started talking to whoever the fucking school.
I don't know who she was talking to.
And she came back in here.
God, did she have an agenda?
No, I did not.
No, you did.
You guys told me to do celebrity news.
Let's make that clear.
Wait, wait, wait.
Why do you go straight to celebrity news?
Because I know that I went off on a tangent about Wiz and Amber.
Hey, I felt strongly about it.
And then the other, I had a story to tell about my boo.
All right.
Well, we don't really care what you feel strongly about.
Oh, okay.
That's what the, what's what the, uh,
that's what the, the, what do you call that chair?
The co-host chair. The co-host
chair. The co-host chair
is just
supposed to,
I don't know what you're supposed to do, but you're not supposed to feel
strongly about. I'm supposed to be like Robin Quivers and just
you know, add my commentary.
Yeah, not go off on tangents about
shit. We don't care about that.
So I want to humbly apologize.
And you went off for way longer than that.
You went on some long tangent about your boo who dumped you to try to get him back.
You're so fucking corny.
You're corny.
You fucking, you, you, you.
Yeah, exactly.
Whatever.
Yeah, exactly.
So I didn't speak very much last week.
And as a result, our podcast fucking tanked.
No, it didn't.
Which is good.
Which is good, because sometimes you need to humble people.
I wasn't feeling myself, though.
I really wasn't.
No, you definitely were, my baby.
No, I just had, I told, we, you.
Shut up.
If you go back and listen, and I don't really want to dwell on this too much.
If you go back and listen, you were definitely in your Mahdi the body zone.
Oh, here's some backstory for the people that don't know.
Marissa used to be a rapper.
No.
Yeah?
Her rap name was
Madi the Body. No, it wasn't you
guys named me that. My rap name was Madi Monroe.
You and Maul started calling me
Madi the Body. I'm sorry.
Me and Maul started calling her Madi the
Body just because it's funny
because her body is like so not
anything you would refer to as a body
just because I don't have one of those
fake bodies that
you do too have one of those
fake bodies
wait what is she
wait wait wait were you gonna be that girl
aww you were gonna
be that girl don't be the were going to be that girl.
Don't be the girl who goes to get the ass shots and then posts a million pics in the gym.
He's talking about my fake boobs.
Wait, you got fake tits too?
Oh, you're all fake.
I didn't even know.
I don't have ass shots.
Oh, you've got fake ass and fake tits.
No, I just have fake tits.
All right, whatever.
Awkward.
I never admitted that publicly on social media.
And I'm okay with... And here we are.
And I'm okay with... What is the word?
I'm okay with plastic surgery. I just felt like that
that wasn't...
It wasn't like I went to get a huge rack.
None of this is important because when me and
Maul came up with the name Madi the Body,
Madi was all natural.
She's not all natural anymore.
I mean, not that there's a big difference at all.
Oh, you are so, look, you saw that you was hating on my picture that I had my titties out on Instagram.
And everybody loved it.
That's another problem that we have in America right now.
People just use the word hate so cavalierly.
Can I read your comment?
Sure you can.
It was so rude.
I don't really know if the listeners really understand.
Then everyone thought that was like you secretly being in love with me,
which it might be.
I don't even believe that.
Oh my goodness, this is amazing.
You said, since no one else here will say it,
this is really nasty and I never want to see your cleavage line ever again why do i now know you even have a cleavage line
smh lol thanks and i meant to put i can't unsee that well you know what i really enjoy doing
and this is again off on a tangent probably most of these podcasts would just be me off a tangent
i really enjoy going on the Twitter Honey's Instagrams
and reading the comments
that some of you fucking thirsty mud buckets leave.
Some of you guys just have absolutely no pride or dignity
or anything synonymous with pride and dignity about yourselves.
Like, you could get a fucking grip.
These hoes don't even be cute.
But anyway, off of that, how was your weekend, Marissa?
I got really drunk on Saturday.
I know, because you drunk-doubbed me.
I did.
We talked for a while, though.
It was a pleasant conversation.
I wouldn't necessarily call it that.
I mean, everything was pleasant that night to me because I was just in such a great mood.
I felt like you really needed a friend.
I mean, if we're just going to keep it a book.
No, I talked to you.
I talked to my mom.
I talked to my friend Morgan.
Are you that drunk?
You're that drunk girl that just dows everybody.
No, no, no.
Usually I'm not.
I just, I don't know what happened Saturday.
I was just left alone for an extended period of time in between drinking. So I had nothing better to do. So I was just trying to kill time before I went to my next situation.
Which was?
A fucking club uptown, like some Spanish club that I didn't even realize was Spanish until I left. And the next morning I watched back my Snapchat and it was like super duper like.
Oh my God, Snapchat.
Yeah.
So here's what I learned.
Wait, wait, hold on, Joe, sorry.
Can I just interrupt one thing before you go to Snapchat?
I'll remember the spot, Snapchat.
Great.
You guys mentioned the show bombing last week.
For the record, the first hit was huge
because it was the first one, but it's inflated.
The number last week is the number of
real people who were your early listeners
to the show.
Number one, that's not true. Number two,
you are from Juan Epstein
and you would
think that our low number
is our number.
No, my nigga.
What do you think happened? You think you lost people because
Marissa sucked so bad?
I think it was a combination of Marissa sucking so bad,
and I did not use my outlet to let the people know as consistently as I did.
But you still had a core, regardless, you had a core.
There's 18,000 people.
Pete, I need you to worry about one Epstein, all right?
He's our producer.
He has to worry about us.
Is he our producer?
Yes.
You think I'm just fucking sitting here for fun and listening to you ramble on every week?
I thought he was a fan.
I was like, yo, Pete really likes our show.
He's here faithfully every week.
Let me take a picture with this morning show fan.
I'm not a fan of the morning show.
Anyway, the show's doing great.
Shut up.
Great.
See?
Because I'm here.
Marty Monroe.
We're in the show.
Joe, back to Snapchat.
Did we just go, oh, great.
We got bars now.
We never want to get bars from you, Marissa.
No, they do want to hear bars.
So Snapchat, right?
So I was in Los Angeles all weekend, which we'll get into.
But people, how do we say?
I don't have a Snapchat.
Well, no, no, no.
I do have a Snapchat.
But this Snapchat, it was created like years ago back when real niggas was on Snapchat.
I didn't know that was a thing.
Back when women were busting it open and real niggas in relationships needed it to just go away quickly.
Okay.
That was years ago.
Wouldn't know.
Now, everybody has Snapchat.
So I stopped going on this in like 2009,
2010. Is that old of an app?
I got it a long
time ago. So Joe, you are such
an internet creep that you had it that early?
I've never heard of it that early.
And I'm a creep. Well, only
the internet creeps
had it that early.
Because that's what Snapchat was for.
It was for shit to disappear that you didn't want to see now that people are telling fucking
Stories and all the people are recording and I don't know if there's all types of
non
X-rated shit happening
so
In LA, you know, we did we did three shows in Santa Barbara, Oakland.
Oh, just me, but I'm fucking larger than life, so it's we.
You are a we.
And so many people just in the street and everywhere were just coming up to me, putting their fucking arm around me.
And filming for Snapchat.
And Snapchatting.
Yikes.
And the screen is white when you do that yeah if you have the front flash
i'm old my nigga i don't know so there's probably at least 50 videos of me on snapchat saying
what's happening right now what's going on and what am I supposed to be doing right now?
Because those are awkward.
It's just kind of like the, do I smile and wave?
Do I chat with you?
For the record, I don't want to be on anybody's Snapchat.
You're on mine right now, actually.
But I don't want to be.
But you're there.
I don't want to be on anybody's Snapchat involuntarily.
I don't want to be on anybody's Instagram.
I don't be like be on anybody's Instagram. I don't want...
Don't be like the weird, weird fan.
Yeah, but as a fan,
like, they're excited to meet you,
so they want to take a photo with you.
Nah, not valid enough.
I mean, if they take a...
Are you saying you don't want to do a video
with these people?
Or you just don't want to do anything with them?
Pause.
I'd much rather them just give me a head nod.
Yeah, but that's not exciting.
That's not like... If you meet someone, you want to show your friends, like, guess a head nod. Yeah, but that's not exciting. That's not like
if you meet someone
and you want to show your friends
like, guess who the fuck I met?
No one's going to believe you
if you give them a head nod.
I was...
It was hard...
You'd have been hard-pressed
to find a bigger Jay-Z fan
than me growing up.
Mm-hmm.
When I met Jay-Z,
I was as cool as can be.
Yeah, but...
I didn't say,
hey, let's take a picture.
Were you already a rapper by that point?
You couldn't ask me to Snapchat, but
were you a rapper by that point? I didn't sneak
a pic. Okay, that's
fucking gay. Well, that's what people do. Yeah, that's
corny. But I'm saying, for people to ask
for a photo, I feel like that's completely warranted
and people have...
I was going to say people have even asked me for a photo because
I'm... Yo, you really live in this bubble where you're a lot more famous even asked me for a photo because I'm yo you really live
in this bubble
where you're a lot more
famous than you actually are
no I'm not famous at all
I just
can I be excited
that I was
that people asked me
for photos
only been like
three people
in my whole lifetime
but it's happened
but our attitudes
have changed
you were just
super known
last week
I am super known
oh I thought
Rosemary was going to
and we don't want to hear
you swallow anything
on the podcast I don't want to hear you swallow anything on the podcast.
I don't want to hear your water.
Did that make noise?
Yeah, we heard all of that.
Okay, well.
So anyway, my time in L.A., right?
Right.
And I want to preface this by saying I have way more dating options in L.A. than I do in New York.
I didn't know that.
And they're beautiful.
Are they?
Yes, they are.
Why don't you tell us about them?
And they're not hoes like all these New York bitches.
Well, that's because you know the New York girls reps.
Wait, look how I just boxed every New York ticket
and they're not hoes like all these.
Because you know what these girls do around here.
You don't know what they're,
you're not in LA to hear the word in the streets
about these girls. They go run on the canyon know what they're, you're not in L.A. to hear the word in the streets about these girls.
Yes, I do.
They go run on the canyon.
Oh, God.
And then they go home.
Well, these bitches here run to the doctor and fucking get their fat transplant.
So, same thing.
There you go.
So, I was in L.A. and I hit up an associate of mine whose name shall remain anonymous.
Pretty big actor, I would say.
An actor?
And I hit him.
Are you going to try and guess who it is?
Tyrese?
No.
Damn, is that the first name that comes to mind?
Only because he's just so fucking random, and I feel like your random ass would just randomly get together and do random shit with him.
I am pretty random.
And even if it was Tyrese, I wouldn't tell you right now.
So, stop whispering.
We're doing a podcast right now.
So, I hit this guy up, and I say, what's popping?
He says, what's popping?
We do all the small talk, gibberish.
And the plan is for, well, what I think the plan is, is for him to call all of those that he knows.
Because since the L.A. clubs close at 2, which is really, really wet.
I think that's one of the main reasons I would never live in L.A.
The nightlife, I'm just too much of a night owl.
I'm an insomniac.
There's like after hookah spots, though, a couple of them.
Because that's what I want to do.
That after 2.
I want to go to a hookah spot where they don't serve alcohol.
Oh, they might serve alcohol. Nah, they
don't. I went to some shit called Sam's
Strip Club.
And Hollywood hookah doesn't serve booze late.
Yeah, no. Oh, look at Pete chiming
in. Didn't you go there with your BFF
Amber Rose one time? I did.
Many times. And I like Hollywood hookah. They're very nice.
But the no booze late sucks.
How long does Peter have to produce before we get the Amber Rose plug?
Word.
As soon as she comes to town next time, I'm happy to do your show.
Stop it.
Holla.
Stop disrespecting me on your podcast, you son of a bitch.
That's my best friend, Amber.
Oh, don't start fucking click riding.
I love her. We went out to eat that one time, and now we're best friends. Don't start doing's my best friend, Amber. Oh, don't start fucking click riding. I love her.
We went out to eat
that one time
and now we're best friends.
Don't start doing that.
If so, facto.
Anyway, and Pete,
Billionaire Boys Club
clothing is over with.
I just figured
somebody should tell you.
You got the bright red.
It's very bright.
Joe, before you slaughter BBC,
you gotta enjoy.
You asked Marissa
about the night
we went out to dinner
with Amber Rose,
how she forced herself. I barely knew her at this point and Marissa about the night we went out to dinner with Amber Rose how she forced herself
I barely knew her
at this point
and Marissa invited
herself to dinner
in one of the saddest
attempts I've ever seen
and I literally
just let her live
just so she could
come sit next to
Amber and Wiz
truly sad
well he said
first of all
I had no plans
that night
what's wrong with you
no I had no plans that night but then you do with you? No, I had no plans that night.
But then you do stuff like that.
We were all hanging out together.
I was staying with Syph.
Way to throw me under the bus, Rosenberg.
I was staying with Syph and Drewski.
And they were invited to dinner.
And I was like, can I come to dinner?
And then Rosenberg was like.
All right, time out.
Stop the story right there.
You were staying with Syph and Drewski.
Right.
We had a house.
And they were invited somewhere.
Right. What does that have to do with you? Because I'm not going to be. We had a house. And they were invited somewhere. Right.
What does that have to do with you?
Because I'm not going to be left out in the dust.
But you were not invited.
Yeah, but it wasn't like I wasn't invited.
I just wasn't invited.
No, no, no.
You were not invited.
The invites clearly went to who they were supposed to go to.
Right.
But he didn't really know me that well.
Which is why you were not invited.
Exactly.
Exactly.
So what better way to get to know me than by going out to eat with me?
No.
No, that was perfect.
And he was very nervous that I was going to, like, I don't know, be crazy.
And we went and he was, right?
Wasn't I great?
We're just fine, yes.
And you even went home after dinner.
Like, you didn't stay for the whole night.
You dipped after dinner.
Yeah, that's because I went to my boo's house.
But, yep.
Boo.
He's not your boo.
He wasn't your boo then, and he's definitely not your boo now.
No, that's boo.
There's a difference between boo and bae.
That's boo.
Mm-hmm.
I was getting into my story, but now this is a—
Buka, late night.
Yeah, but this is more intriguing.
Remind me of that difference between boo and bae.
Okay, we'll get back to that.
We're going to get back to that.
So I was of the impression that my famous actor friend was going to invite all of the hoes that he knew back to his house for some late night hanging.
And then I was going to walk in and just have my pick of the litter from his Rolodex.
Okay.
I was feeling it didn't happen like this.
It didn't quite go down that way.
So when I arrived, I saw another very famous actor who was really, really drunk.
Awesome.
No, like really, really,
really, really drunk. Like I'm about to puke
my guts out on the side of the house?
Probably had a hard time standing
up straight.
That's never cute.
Stumbling over his words.
Especially in front of a man.
Grow some balls.
And then there was another famous actor there.
So now we're on three.
Yeah.
And all of these guys are very famous and very wealthy.
Tyrese, Vin Diesel, and Ludacris.
No.
Huh?
You were on set of that. Wait, would Ludacris. No. Huh? You were on set of that.
Wait, would Ludacris be considered a famous actor?
I mean, he just goes in with that group.
I would still call him an actor.
He is.
He's a very good actor as well.
All right.
It's none of these people that you're naming.
And if it was, I wouldn't tell you anyway.
And all I could think as I just gandered around the room.
I don't think that's the right word.
Is gander a word?
Gander is, but I don't think gander is.
What does gander mean?
Good for the goose is good for the gander.
Take a gander.
No, that is not what.
Yeah, take a gander.
Like, take a look.
But I don't think gander.
All right, so as I fucking gandered around the fucking room.
I don't think that that's a word.
We'll talk about it later.
Is it a word?
And I looked at the one, two, three, four.
There were five women there at this point.
All I could think to myself, and listen, this is part of my arrogance here.
If in the event that this comes across a bit arrogant, because I'm far from arrogant.
I'm not that far from arrogant. I'm not that far from arrogant.
But all I could think was, Jesus, my hoes are way better than these guys' hoes.
Damn.
How on earth could you be so rich and so famous and these hoes be so fucking weak?
Maybe they have no game.
They were horrible.
I was in my head saying something has to be wrong here.
Or maybe those are the holes they brought for you because they think that you're a zealous rapper. I said maybe this cannot be all of the holes.
Or that.
And as soon as I thought it, there was a hidden hole.
She was hidden away in the house.
And she was a gem.
She's probably sucking dick.
Yikes.
That's not yikes.
That's great.
Okay.
She's the fucking champion.
Shout out to the dick sucking gem.
I didn't say that she was sucking dick, but I don't know what she was doing.
But she looked a bit better.
All right.
Huge tits.
Mm.
And some type of prop that was holding them up
and making them look great.
A prop?
Yeah, you know how you fucking girls do
with your fucking special superhero bras that you wear.
Okay.
Yeah, you wear your fahas,
and now you want to make a face when I say a bitch is wearing a prop.
I didn't know what you meant.
Yeah, she was wearing whatever it was.
Her fucking tits looked amazing.
And here comes the fucking rich drunk guy.
So I just sat there on the side.
And I just gave her a look.
And then she gave me a look.
She was ready to come fuck with a real one.
A real one.
That's exactly what happened.
And sure enough, she came and fucked with a real one.
And then I tweeted.
What did you tweet, Joe?
I'm the man in these streets.
Yeah, so I bagged the bad white bitch.
Oh, she was white?
No, she was something else, but she looked white.
She was mixed.
Persian or something.
White, and yeah, she had some L.A. shit going on with her.
So we bagged her, but these...
So my rich actor buddy comes to me and he says,
Yo, throw out the bat signal.
And I'm in my head saying...
Have you ever seen Batman?
No, I know, but in reference to what?
What does he want you to signal?
Batman?
Holes!
What are you talking about?
I don't know!
Shut the fuck up, Marissa.
Anyway, and I'm thinking to myself, man, I'm from New York.
Like, what would make this man think that I can just throw up a bat signal in L.A.,
my first day in L.A., and hoes will just come a-flocking.
Because you're fucking Joe Budden, B.
The bad bitches love Joe Budden.
See, and funny that you say that.
It was at that very moment that I said, okay, this reputation that really should not be my reputation has far exceeded.
But it's preceded no
yeah well what's up with you
you wanna square up today
I barely have a voice and you wanna be
fucking word police alright just shut the fuck up
I'm just saying you don't wanna make sure that we're proper
alright so let's be proper
what's the word here? it preceded
what does the word exceeded mean?
it goes over.
So shut the fuck up then.
Yeah, but maybe you meant that you're-
It's far exceeded my expectation of where it is.
You're not even making sense with what you were saying.
You just said that phrase randomly.
You weren't about to say that.
Your reputation has far exceeded- Exactly what I just said. I already forgot what you said. Whatever. Just keep randomly. You weren't about to say that. Your reputation has far exceeded.
Exactly what I just said.
I already forgot what you said.
Whatever.
Just keep going.
You're wrong.
Marissa, you're going to get fired.
And then you're just going to be done off.
It's going to take you and your butt shots out the fucking room. I don't have butt shots.
So anyway.
So yeah, that's the very moment that it hit me.
Mm-hmm.
And I'm not quite sure how I can change this.
You don't because you only continue to hang out with bad bitches.
Yeah, but I'm not penetrating these women.
It doesn't matter.
Obviously, he didn't think so either if he sang for the best and, like, he just know bitches.
So then I'm such a real nigga.
This girl lived about an hour out from where we were and she's like oh daddy i want to see you
again oh lord oh my god i wish i could just come with you why do all your spanish girls have the
same exact accent that you do listen you are a hater oh Poppy, I wish I could go with you to your hotel.
That sounds like a little Asian woman.
I don't even know that she sounds this way.
I'm just going off.
And she didn't call me Daddy or Poppy or any of this stuff.
Yeah, probably not.
In my story, I'm embellishing.
So I invited her to my Santa Barbara show.
And Santa Barbara was, what, two and a half hours out, two hours, something like that.
Corey drives like shit, so he was asleep while he was driving, so I don't know how long it really takes.
Nice car.
So she came out there, and I didn't do a thing.
I think she may have wanted me to.
That's how you get them attached more, though.
So you do shit like that.
You fucking fuck.
Well, I had double booked fucking fuck well I I double booked
ah
I double booked
those moments
on
taking
Park's advice
Park's advised
me to double book
he said
yo
see that's why
you can't get advice
from people
he said
Drake was right
Drake's mom
yeah
Drake's mom
was right
yeah
Park said
yo why you don't just invite the white bitch and the Spanish Drake's mom yeah Drake's mom was right yeah yeah Parker said yo
why you don't just
invite the white bitch
and the Spanish bitch
and say fuck it
and he put the battery
in my back
and I said
you know what
fuck it
that's inviteable
and the white bitch came
and it's one of those
situations where she
you know
she wasn't one of those
friendly women
she wasn't she wasn't friendly women. She wasn't friendly
and didn't act bisexual,
so it made things weird. Okay.
Yeah, it's whack.
Okay. Yeah, she's older.
She wanted to act mature and fucking territorial.
Nothing about that was fucking
fun. Who was hotter?
Ooh. Not her.
See, that's what I was trying to establish,
because, like, why is she, I mean, she wouldn't play along. It's the worst. Yeah, no establish she wouldn't play along it's the worst
yeah no she wasn't hotter
she's alright
you know what it was it was one of those things
where I think
at homeboys house
where I met her she was
super hot because she was surrounded
by really whack bitches
and then when I took her out
of her element and put her
around some other women it becomes like a six wait so hold on so the white one was hotter
no he's saying the white one wasn't hotter the not hot one or he just gave me some interesting
insight though he said that the other one you knew better. You had like
it's a different relationship.
So? It just changes
the dynamic a little bit. It didn't change anything
at all. She was just as great
for the first day I met her.
Okay, okay. She was wonderful.
Suck it. I mean, she's polite as can be.
What?
Suck it. Wonderful. Suck it.
She was as kind and sweet. Yeah, she was a she's a doll oh that's bae oh that's bae what is bae
all right let's get back to that bae okay but my definition may not coincide with the world's
definition and that is another reason i hate fucking young people. You ask a young person the definition of some shit, and the first thing they say is, well, to me, well, to me, what they mean.
Bitch, I didn't ask you to you.
I asked you what the word bae means, meaning the consensus.
I don't know what the consensus.
Well, bae is, what is it?
It's some fucking dumbass acronym for before anyone else.
And it's supposed to be like.
Before anyone else.
Yeah, that's what the dumbass should be.
Huh? Allegedly, yep. acronym for before anyone else and it's supposed to be like before anyone else yeah that's what the dumbass shit means allegedly
that is
bae means the total opposite of that
yeah well that's what the fucking internet definition says
but it's like bae is the choice
the fucking internet
sidebar so one of my twitter honey friends
mhm
informed me that there's
a website called
seeking arrangement seeking arrangements dot com I'm not sure if it's informed me that there's a website called Seeking Arrangement.
SeekingArrangements.com.
I'm not sure if it's Arrangement or Arrangements.
I think it's Arrangements.
You a ho?
You a ho?
No, for like sugar hatties and shit.
Why do you know that website?
Because the internet.
Why do you know that website?
Because of the internet.
You are a ho.
I'm a fucking blogger.
I know everything.
Nah, fam.
Yep.
Nah.
Yes.
So anyway, and the first thing I said to my Twitter honey friend was, why do you know this?
And of course, she put the onus on her friend.
Oh, God, my friend.
My friend beyond that.
Yo, bitches are fucking liars, my nigga.
Anyway, for those of you out there looking for a sugar daddy or sugar mama, and the terminology she used was, if you're trying to be a sugar baby.
Yeah, sugar baby.
And I had never heard that one before.
I'm like a real dinosaur here.
Yeah, when you sign up on the site, it has it.
Why do you know?
Marissa, let me see your computer.
Because I checked out the site before.
So you have been there.
No, yeah, just to see it.
I wouldn't sign up.
Yo, you're really a ho, B.
No, I don't want a fucking sugar daddy.
I've never been on that website.
Yeah, because you're a busy rabbit.
No, because I don't want a sugar mama
I don't either
I just want to see
What it look like
Nah my nigga
And the dynamics of it
I've been on very
Random websites
That I don't use
Yeah yeah
That don't get you
No
What
Well if you were looking
For a sugar daddy
Would you admit to that
Yeah I would
You're fucking full of shit
I'm not full of shit
Anyways
But I don't need a sugar daddy
Because it's weird
That wasn't the point
can we get back to
babe
bacon and eggs
yeah
is that what your
is that what your
definition is
no I just really like
bacon and eggs
I do as well
no but anyway
bae
give me the definition
of bae
which
I understand
it varies
yeah alright
well I define it as
like
someone that I like maybe i text them
maybe i hang out with them but they're not um upgraded to boo status and boo would be something
that's a lot more meaningful let's pause let's not get to boo yet okay just give me bae without boo
all right bae might have started off as boo or maybe not because you don't want to give someone
that title that early but you meet them i'm an equal opportunity employer so every guy i meet i is bae yeah well
if i like them if i seem if they seem like there's some uh possible future there so i give it a few
weeks we hang out blah blah blah and then usually some shit happens and then i realize they're a
piece of shit so we don't talk for like let's say a few weeks but alright so this person is still bae
while you're not talking
no they're no longer
so you snatched bae
and then you usually end up running into each other
maybe you text real quick
like oh good seeing you
and then you guys kind of start like a text relationship
and then they're back to being bae status
but you probably never really hang out with them
maybe like once in a blue moon
and then they're bae again yeah but that's what I refer to as bae status. But you probably never really hang out with them. Maybe like once in a blue moon.
And then they're bae again?
Yeah.
But that's what I refer to as bae.
So it's very, very loose.
I may not even see them for months at a time.
Corey just handed me on seekingarrangement.com.
Oh.
Some cute holes on there.
Oh, is he a member?
Or is it just showing you the sample profile? No, he just went there to show me.
Okay, well, sometimes you can't see sample profiles from the main page.
Look at this little 24-year-old hoe from Boston.
Yeah, but that's all fake.
Wait, are these women looking for sugar daddies?
It depends.
You can sign up as a sugar baby or a sugar mama.
Yeah, these are the sugar babies.
I'm not a sugar daddy.
You're, well.
Your bitch going to get some fucking hookah and Monopoly from me.
And then she's going to fucking drop them drugs.
Because I'm a real nigga.
All right.
So anyway, back to Bay.
Yep.
So just basically.
So what it sounds like to me is Bay is a nigga you meet that you like.
Yeah.
And that's it.
Yeah.
As long as it's not like real and there's no real feelings.
And it's like, that's my boo.
Like, I actually care about him.
No, I think you can have real feelings for bae.
I think they're real premature feelings.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Definitely, definitely, definitely, definitely.
Yeah, no.
They're always like, I get.
If a woman is calling a man bae, I'm almost thinking all the interaction between them kind of just doesn't count.
Yeah.
Well, it's not anything yet.
It's not substantial.
Exactly.
At all.
That's where they fall into that category.
But they're more than nothing.
We do text.
We do hang out.
We, you know.
Because bitches have bayed me.
Have you guys, like, had anything?
Nah.
None at all.
I mean, you could also use that as a crush term, too.
When you have a crush on someone from afar.
That's bae.
Yo, y'all women are lunatics.
Yeah.
The more that I hear about you women, the more I—y'all are just—
So when do you graduate from this term?
When it seems like it might actually go somewhere.
How long before you fuck this person?
It really—
No, keep it a buck. Keep it a buck. Don't give me PC. Don't keep it a buck keep it a buck don't give
me don't give me pc don't give me pc keep it a buck you meet a nigga when are you fucking him
it's all right you can tell me it's just me you and the 18 000 people that listened last week um
it really depends on the circumstance i'm not gonna say no look i'm not gonna say i hold out
for weeks at a time no i'm not saying i hold out for weeks at a time like oh my god i gotta be a
good girl it's really just like if i'm feeling it and if he seems like there's a possibility he might be a fuckboy,
like I can't call it yet, like I like him, but he might secretly be a fuckboy,
I don't fuck first because then I have to kind of really figure out if he is a fuckboy or not.
Wait, you've fucked plenty of fuckboys.
I know.
Well, I didn't figure it out properly.
So that's why I've been trying to wait
a little longer now. Not because I'm trying to be a fucking
good girl, but mostly just because I keep fucking
getting it all wrong. Alright, so let me help.
Let me help. Let me help this out. Let me help
you out here before we get off of this.
You're out with a potential
bae. Okay.
You guys
are having a good time?
Let's say you guys are having a good time. Let's say you guys are having a good time
Okay
Are you drinking?
Probably
Definitely drinking
Yeah
Is he drinking?
Probably definitely
I've never dated a guy who's drinking
What are you guys drinking?
Just for shits and giggles
Probably
I like vodka
Vodka
Oh yeah
But most of the guys I deal with like Hennessy
Even better So you're on C guys I deal with like Hennessy. Even better.
So you're on Turok.
He's on Hennessy.
He's hiding all of his fuckboy tendencies from you.
Let's say you guys are out from 1130 to 4.
That is an extended period of time.
But it's been- It can happen in New York.
From 1130 to 4.
Are you drunk by this point? I'd be wait by four o'clock yeah i'd be gone to the point where by the time we get home i'm probably
passing out on you oh so you're too drunk yeah all right so you pass out on him he pulls your
pants down if it was the first night even just off the strength i just don't just because i'm like
well you just don't what like you just said no no you passed out already it's too late oh yeah
okay oh and if he tries while i'm just in the uh yeah uh he shouldn't but he does it's never
happened so i can't even how do you know because i would feel if there was a fucking
peen in my v oh i can't i can't challenge you on that one.
But if it was the first night and we got back and I wasn't that wasted, I still wouldn't.
Just because I think you're corny for trying on the first night.
You know what?
Like have some self-control, motherfucker. For some reason, maybe it's because I've been hanging out with a bunch of idiot women.
Women, I've seen a lot of spiteful women using men to get back at other men
i've never really tried that no no and it happened again on fucking love and hip-hop
you watch it yeah watch it of course you do it's like you're it's like watching well well first of all i know i know everybody on there number one and number two if you just look at it for like the comedy that it is oh it's hilarious
it's wonderful i have a blast watching it um so yeah with this this whole starting fucking
light skin on light skin beef between rich and homeboy.
I don't watch the show.
Cisco?
Bingo.
There we go.
Which inspired me to let the men out there know,
because we're going to get off loving hip hop, but men,
if your friend ever tells you,
and I almost don't even want to say friend, because these two guys aren't really friends, but whatever.
If your friend ever tells you that it's okay to fuck the girl that he was just fucking, it's very natural.
Yep.
I don't know why men do this so much.
I mean, it's-
This happens a lot with men.
It happens with girls, too.
Well, no.
Women are just hoes and don't care.
And a lot of you guys are Eskimo sisters, knowingly, and just are cool with it. I could never be.
And I can't fucking hang out with a bitch that thinks it's okay.
But go on.
That thinks it's okay to do what?
To, like, fuck a dude I used to fuck with.
What if it wasn't your boyfriend?
It doesn't matter.
Just girl code.
Seriously.
Like, but I don't even like sloppy bitches like that.
Like, oh, girl, he is kind of cute.
Like, that's, like, so real.
But what if it happens by mistake? If it happens by mistake, wait. Because she didn't know like sloppy bitches like that. Like, oh, girl, he is kind of cute. But what if it happens by mistake?
If it happens by mistake, wait, because she didn't know we messed around?
Yeah.
Oh, then that's okay.
If she didn't know, she didn't know.
But I'm very vocal about the guys I'm dealing with.
So if you're my good friend, then you fucking know.
Interesting.
Men, I feel like, should carry themselves a bit differently.
I don't feel like, first of all all women have us outnumbered by the fucking
uh the statistic is not in front of me but it's a lot i don't really i don't i've never looked at
um let me take that back i've been fortunate enough to have friends and associates whose
taste is different from mine so the women that they target are not necessarily the women that i target same so that's
you know that's wonderful but in the event that uh our tastes coincided and at one point i wouldn't
i just wouldn't be looking at my man's ex fuck buddy yeah fucker. I mean, that only happened one time, and this was years ago.
I mean, I was probably, what, 24?
Then that's just young people.
24.
When I was 24, Michael Paul had bagged the baddest bitch in the club in Sumter, South Carolina.
Right?
How bad can you be in Sumter, South Carolina. Right? How bad can you be in Sumter, South Carolina?
And that was why it was kind of tricky.
Because it wasn't like there was another option.
Yeah, so this is like the fucking actor's house.
So you're just going with the best pick of the litter.
Yeah, so he bagged the baddest bitch in the club in Sumter, South Carolina.
But he wasn't really closing the deal.
And you're like, I could close this deal, baby.
And she clearly wanted to fuck us both.
Okay.
Oh.
So it would have been a train.
That's not called a train, Marissa.
Yes, it is.
When it's two men and a girl, it's a train.
No, it's not a train.
It's not a threesome.
Yes, it is.
That's two dicks being rammed in your vagina.
You don't know what a train is.
That's a train.
I mean, it's a small train.
It's a very small train.
That is not a train.
That's a fucking train. Three train. That is not a train. That's a fucking train.
Three people having sex is not a train.
Only when it's two women and a guy is it a threesome.
When it's two guys.
Wait, where are you getting this from?
Because it's just fucking fact.
When it's two guys and a bitch.
Show me.
Here you have technology in front of you.
Well, I can't.
There's no internet on this.
Well, use your phone.
You have LTE on your phone?
I do have LTE.
Wonderful.
Shout out to AT&T.
Show me where.
Is AT&T sponsoring this podcast?
No. So why the fuck are we shouting AT&T out?
They should sponsor.
Just show me where you see it.
I heard AT&T is really into conversations about
bitches getting trains run on them.
I gotta agree with Marissa.
I think once it's two dudes and a girl, it's a train.
You can say running a train.
Show me this somewhere.
Where would I look that up, Joe?
Yeah, like where do you find that?
Listen, you're the one with this information.
That's just consensus.
Guys in the room, we got...
That's not a train.
What is wrong?
What are you, fucking sex novices?
Corey says no.
Rory says yes.
Shout out to the white people in the room.
Yes, the people that we do not want to get this information from.
All right, so you know what?
Let's challenge our sources here.
Okay.
Monty the body.
Yes.
Joey the hoey.
You are really corny.
How many trains have you ever taken part in?
Zero and zero.
How many threesomes have you ever taken part in? Zero and zero. How many threesomes have you ever taken part in?
Two and a half.
Pete, you're married, so I won't ask you this, but just looking at your whole swag right now,
nothing about your aura is giving me, yo, that guy.
I'll tell you what.
I have never been near a train ever in life.
Don't hurt yourself.
What?
Nothing about your fucking ambiance is telling me you're the go-to guy for this.
You're an asshole.
Rory.
Oh, hey, wait, look, where's Rory?
Yeah, probably browsing Gap.com.
Rory's another one.
If you've ever seen Rory and you've ever just sat and spoken with this guy for more than
five minutes, he's probably another
one that you wouldn't say, you know what?
I've got some threesome and train questions.
I'm gonna...
Let him be my point of reference.
So, I'm gonna go
with Corey, who like myself
has probably taken part
in quite a few of these.
So let me school you fucking youngins here.
Can we call a friend?
Can we call somebody?
Because I don't...
You and Corey live together,
so you guys are going to have the same opinion.
I'm going to call somebody.
You can call somebody, too.
You guys can just plug your phone
into the headphone thingy.
Okay.
I don't know who to call.
I don't have any friends.
Just talk to the listeners for a minute.
Okay.
And let a real nigga handle this, please.
But you're going to call someone else that's going to agree with you,
and you're probably going to text them ahead of time.
No, I'm not.
I'm going to call someone who I think is knowledgeable.
I could call.
I wonder if he'll answer the phone.
He probably wouldn't even answer me.
Wait, why am I plugging this thing in my phone?
Because now it'll feed through.
But it'll feed through the headphones?
And guys, while we're waiting, I want to remind everyone to go subscribe on iTunes to this podcast.
Thank you.
Remember that, Joe? Remember?
Wizard of Oz.
Marissa, tell them.
Can y'all shut the fuck up?
Subscribe on iTunes and search I'll name this podcast later.
It'll come up.
Oh, they don't fuck with you a lot
first of all don't speak to me that way how are you
i have a quick question for you
if two guys are sleeping with no no, are fucking one girl.
Is that considered a train or a threesome?
Threesome.
Thank you very much.
You have a beautiful day.
I love and care about you.
Bye.
And I'm going to FaceTime you later.
Now.
Ew, bye.
Okay, but that was your friend.
No, it wasn't.
It was a fucking porn star
who I'm going to take her word
over Marissa Mendez's.
Peter, what's his fucking last goofy-ass name?
Rosenberg.
That already let you know
he ain't popping in these streets.
And Rory, what's your fucking last name?
Damn, look at Rory.
I'm not telling you.
Rory looks like fucking House's son and shit.
I'm only laughing.
I have no idea what that guy looks like.
So anyway, Bong, I don't know why you guys would think that two guys and a girl.
Anyway, it is.
But where's the point?
It's not.
It's not.
It's a threesome.
It's a fucking train, B. And no one is running
a train on me ever in their lives.
Why did we bring
this up exactly? I don't know. Where were you going with this?
I don't remember how we got
on this. Me neither. Hi, Rory.
Because you fucking ruined my
fucking story. I didn't do it. How did we get
on this? Does anyone remember?
Oh, yeah. You should probably take that out.
Threesome, threesome, threesome.
L.A.?
Nah, wasn't it.
Were we back in New York?
Weren't we on Bay?
Love and hip hop.
Men.
Oh yeah, that's what we were talking about.
Oh, the friends.
South Carolina, some to South Carolina with Michael Paul.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, so me and Michael Paul, we're going to have a threesome.
Well, we thought that we could have had a threesome with this girl.
For whatever reason, Michael Paul and his fucking prestigious cock.
Yikes.
Which I'm pretty prestigious too, so let me not say that.
But he felt more prestigious than I on this day.
And he said, you know what?
I'm just going to go.
Just drop me off at the hotel.
I'm tired.
I'm going to go to bed.
So I dropped him off, and I went, and I fucking banged the shit out of the girl.
Oh.
Oh, man.
That was great.
So that doesn't even count, though, because that was just like the initial, you guys both
meant at the same time.
You were more so discussing people that have messed with someone, and then you're getting
sloppy seconds.
That's when it's ridiculous.
Well, first of all, I'm never the sloppy second dude.
Yeah.
I'm too real of a nigga for all of that.
Right.
If anything, you are going to get my sloppy second.
And keep in mind, everything I'm saying right now is just really stupid because we've all had somebody's seconds.
Yeah, but I mean knowingly with a friend.
That's when it's like corny.
I would never want to date the same person.
I mean the point of all of this was just, I've seen many relationships between men go all wrong.
When a man says, yo, you can fuck Shorty.
I don't mind. I don't mind.
I don't care.
It's cool.
And then the guy goes and fucks Shorty
because you said you didn't mind.
It's cool.
And now you got all types of feelings
and it's horrible and it's bad.
I just want to help.
I don't want to see light skin on...
On light skin crime.
Yeah.
Bear in mind, by the way,
we're always going to say, yeah, it's cool.
Well, 90% of the time we're going to say it's cool so we don't sound like we're in the feelings.
Nah, not me.
Yeah, I wouldn't say it either, but most people will because they don't want to sound like a dick.
I would then go as far as to ask, because I would want to know why this person thought it was all right to even speak to me about this particular vagina.
Yeah, that's what I'm laughing about.
And then this girl, you know what else I got a problem with since I'm just going to run my mouth here?
I got a problem with the young, fine girls.
You have a lot of problem with young things.
Yeah.
Yeah, I do.
Yeah.
I got a problem with the girl that's really fine and young.
Because, yeah, she looks fine, but she also looks like 16.
Like, I need her to go and, like, fall down and get some scratches on her
or something.
Like, she just, ew.
Yeah, well.
Her skin looks like it's a week old.
Like, bitch features ain't finished developing.
I don't want to see a million selfies from you fucking bitches that are not fucking fully grown yet.
They're going to selfie it up, though.
That's what young people like to do.
Yeah, I know.
You've dated young bitches, though.
Why weren't pictures this popular when the disposable camera was out?
I didn't see all you hoes at fucking Walmart.
I mean, Walgreens.
Because it wasn't that quick.
And CVS.
This is instant gratification. That's, Walgreens. Because it wasn't that quick. And CVS. This is instant gratification.
That's what this generation is.
Instant gratification.
I don't want to see where the world is going to be in another 20 years.
I was wondering that recently.
What else were you wondering?
That was pretty much it.
So you don't wonder anything else?
I mean, I wondered why is Jadakiss as hard as it gets.
Oh, that was good.
I apologize for my random call for you.
You are really an idiot.
I don't want to get away from you now.
Hey, Joey, how much time have we been recording?
I kind of don't want anything to do it why is that's
pretty funny I have become the arm I have become the guy that and I only
thought of this because we were just talking about fucking prestigious dick
and all this bullshit.
I've become the guy that just gives the greatest relationship advice to all of my ho friends for free.
You do give me good advice.
I'm not your ho friend, but you do give me good advice.
I never really follow it, but if I would, I'd probably end up in better places.
You would have mad less bodies.
I don't have that many bodies.
No.
Well, that wasn't to say that you had that many bodies.
But just less than I have.
Yeah.
Just my verbiage was different than yours. But I usually come to you after we're already established in something and it's just not working.
You normally come to me after you're in body mode.
working you normally come to me after you're in body mode anyway and when I know when I give you this advice it's for nothing in return at all I know but
that's what friends are supposed to do you're not supposed to be seeking advice
and then get monetary well again as I was watching love and hip-hop and I was
watching rich give this girl advice on her relationship with whoever.
I said, wow, he's going to end up fucking this girl.
So at least that's his tradeoff.
Ah, he gets some vagina for his advice.
Yeah, at least he gets some vagina out of the situation.
He talks his way right into the pussy.
I mean, I guess my problem is, what is the point of continuing to give people advice if they don't listen to it and you're not getting anything in return?
Yeah, it does get really frustrating.
Ah, so now you see how I feel about you.
No, I totally get it.
Well, no, I take that back because I definitely don't want anything from you.
Not any sexual favors anyway.
Yeah, well, it wouldn't have happened anyway.
Oh, my God.
No, but I'm saying, do other people that you give advice to, do they take it sometimes?
No.
So you just keep giving advice that no one's taking?
Hmm.
Yeah, probably.
Hmm.
Because women just like to keep doing the same shit over and over again.
Of course we do.
Women enjoy that fucking frustration and the hurt and pain.
Yeah, really good blood for pain.
Yeah, and you guys are emotional and don't let good dick be involved.
That's always the problem with my situation.
And I think we also like to just really learn for ourselves
and we convince ourselves like,
well, he says that, but he doesn't know him.
He really cares about me.
Let me just keep trying.
You guys fall for some really stupid shit, B.
Yeah, I was really falling for some bad boys.
Like, can we just start calling a spade a spade?
Yeah.
You guys fall for, like, really dickhead shit.
You even told me the last time, like, yo, you fell for the most basic guy lines ever just because he's, like, good looking.
I was like, I know.
Why aren't you guys smarter than that?
Because we get dickmatized.
Because we get dickmatized.
Which leads me to my point that I was tweeting over the weekend that as powerful as vagina may be, I think dick might have it beat.
It really might.
Like, I've done dumbass shit.
Like, let me think of the first time that I was ever fucking pussy whipped.
I didn't do anything out of the ordinary.
I didn't do anything spectacular.
I didn't fucking bug out, fucking run down the street naked.
Nothing wild happened.
I just fucking thought this pussy was the greatest pussy ever, and I behaved that way.
That was it.
I mean, I don't bug out completely.
Nah, nah.
But I start really liking them.
And then I'm like on their social media all day.
And then I'm like planning our future in my brain.
And then when they do some fuck shit, I'm like, oh, he's, you know, he's just growing up.
Like, it's just growing pains.
It's fine.
And then he does more fuck shit.
I'm like, oh, wait, maybe he's just a a fucking retard and then that's when I come running to you
like what do I do
I don't feel right about this
you tell me to leave it alone
and then I go back
and then here we are today
no no no no it's not that simple
skip Bayless
no then you continue to go back some more
and a nigga continues to ignore you
and fucking have you on standby and dish you and treat you like a piece of shit.
Then you fucking make excuses and you go back to more.
Right.
I mean, this is pretty much the pattern.
Yeah, but not like that.
I mean, right now I'm pretty chill and I don't really have anyone that's like shitty around.
Well, you just told us a whole story last week about homeboy.
Okay.
But he's not shitty.
I didn't say that.
He's just eat like, you know.
About your boo that like about your boo that
wasn't your boo that was mad that uh whatever he was mad about and and now he's your boo again you
all are happy and getting married soon no i mean we're probably never gonna get married good but
he's my friend i'm gonna figure women out i. If it's the last thing I do.
Yeah, but that's like every...
I don't think any man has any woman figured out.
Except maybe Will Smith.
Him and Jada have lasted a while.
You're very random in the things that you...
How did you just go to Will Smith?
Why?
Because he did Hitch?
What?
No, just because he's had a long-lasting marriage.
That was where I was going with that.
There are plenty of people that have had long-lasting marriages.
Yeah, but I couldn't think of one off the top of my head.
So Will Smith was the first one.
Yeah, because I don't have any long-lasting marriages around me.
All right, so how long have they been together, Will Smith and his girl?
20 years.
They have not.
Yes, he just did an interview saying that, but it was like 18 of marriage, 20 of togetherness.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Damn, I'm old.
I know.
I'm getting really fucking old.
You are.
You should basically sign up
for like Life Alert
or whatever that shit is.
Seekingarrangement.com.
You can be a sugar daddy now.
I would never be a sugar daddy
because I'm too real of a nigga.
No, you could do it.
No.
I mean, it's kind of like
it sounds fun.
What do sugar daddies do?
What does that entail?
You pay a bitch rent.
I don't really know i honestly
i've never had a friend that had a buyer buyer shit buyer fucking you just keep like you keep
up her like you have a kept bitch you just pay for a lifestyle yeah everything why on god's green
earth would i do that but sometimes i believe like there's different levels of sugar daddies
where some is like just an arrangement where they have a marriage and then they just
they're paying this woman
to like spend time
with them randomly
and
this sounds like the same thing
all the dope boys
from Dykeman do
okay probably
I've never really dealt
with the dope boy
from Dykeman either
so I don't really know
all the dope boys uptown
keep a bitch's lifestyle
maintain it
fucking
pay for company.
Yeah, that's literally it.
I mean, they just spice it up by going to a strip club and throwing a bunch of money.
So are they fat and ugly, these dope boys?
I wouldn't know.
I'm not looking at men to decide how they are.
I mean, are they fat?
You could tell when someone's fat.
That's not like you're not scoping them out.
Yeah, they probably are.
Okay, so they're not good-looking guys, so that's why they have to pay for the company.
That's what I was asking.
Oh, I don't know that.
Oh.
I don't know that. Oh.
I don't know that.
I wouldn't call these gentlemen good-looking or not good-looking.
It's really not my place to determine that.
Right, but, you know, you have eyes.
You can say when someone's really disgusting. I've got money, and I'm just not doing it.
Like, I think I can rely on some other areas to be able to get me the vagina I need.
You're a good looking guy though.
And you have a personality.
Yeah, but maybe some of these.
And you have a career.
But maybe some of these people are good looking guys with personalities who have careers.
Well, usually sugar daddies are like old men.
I normally don't even tip in a strip club.
Because I feel like if I wouldn't give these bitches a dollar in the street.
Like if I wouldn't say a word to them then. Like why the fuck would I come in here and give a whole bunch of money?
Well, when they give you a lap dance, do you tip them?
Well, normally I'm getting a lap dance from a friend.
And I probably know them all.
So then you should tip your friends.
That is their job.
Yeah, but no, but then I'm not tipping them because they look so great and they're getting my dick card.
I'm tipping them because they the homie.
Right.
And they'll probably just fucking give it back to me later anyway.
Okay.
Well.
In some way or another.
Right.
Okay.
Well.
Oh, strip club is tonight.
What's tonight?
Should I go?
Yo, I went to Sam's in LA and Sam's was really bad.
It's like Sam something with an
H, right? Sam's
something. I don't know anything about that.
Sam, it was supposed to
be an after hours spot.
Sam's Gentlemen's Club?
I'm not sure.
But it was really, really
bad. Now mind you, we did go
the after hours. They couldn't serve alcohol.
So they did.
They sold these bottles of champagne.
They were only like 1% of alcohol.
Oh, my God.
And nobody was getting drunk off of these things.
Nobody I was with anyway.
And I was there with one, two, three, four.
I was there with like six, seven women.
Just me and Crook.
Shout out to Crook.
Oh, he lives in California.
Yeah, he lives in California.
So he came and met me over there.
So it's me and just seven women and no alcohol and really bad looking dancers and strippers.
So if anybody's listening to this podcast that knows the popping night of Sam's,
because I'm not just going to speak horribly about the place based off one night.
I don't operate that way.
I like to have a bevy of information before I conclude something about anything.
So maybe we'll give Sam's another go.
I think my boy DJ's there on Sundays or Mondays.
Are we plugging your fucking boy's career right now?
I think that he has a good— it's good nights on those nights.
You would say that this is your fucking people.
Yeah, but he don't need me to be plugging him.
He got a great career.
He might need you to plug him if we're going off my night that I saw in fucking Sam's.
No.
Even though the music was good.
The music was good.
Who was the DJ?
I don't fucking know.
What do you think?
I went up to him and said, yo, my man, yo, you great.
What's your name, son?
He might shout his name.
They fucking shout their name out 47 and a half times.
Are you in your phone trying to remember your friend's DJ name?
No, I know his fucking DJ name is Dre Sinatra.
Hey, Dre.
But I'm trying to find out what night he's on.
Well, we went on, what was that, a Friday night?
Yeah, he always is.
I'm trying to find a flyer.
Yeah, Sam's wasn't the move.
Even though I did go to a really cool hookah spot called, what was the name of that spot?
Oh, The Spot.
It was called The Spot?
Yeah, it was called The Spot.
It was great.
They had big couches.
The food was great.
It was outside.
They had a really good Oreo milkshake.
I forgot what Rosa had.
Oh, she had tea, but the tea was really good.
Oh, Rosa Costa?
Yo, my nigga, did I say that?
There's a million roses in the universe.
There is not a million roses.
There are a million roses.
And you're not friends with a million roses.
I am friends with plenty of roses.
Give me three.
You're not going to know them.
Okay, so do you know them?
And even if it was Rosa Costa, I wouldn't say it. But anyway, so yeah, Rosa had a tea, but the tea was really really good
Um, that place was really fucking dope and fans kept coming up to me
Yo, you the best, yo you crazy, you that nigga. I never knew how many relationships I was responsible for
Relationships with other people like no no no like like
Couples I got a lot of people together.
Because of your music?
Yeah.
That's so cool.
And I've kept a lot of people together.
Do they come up to you and tell you their story?
Yeah.
And some of these women have come up to me
and let me know that I am the voice
to help them understand their significant other
when they are having trouble. You've never, well, that's crazy. Yeah. You've never helped me with it,
but. Oh, yes, I have. Yes, I have. That would be a lie. You would be lying on a podcast right now.
I've definitely helped you with that. No, but not your music is what I'm saying. No, I'm not talking
about my music. I'm talking about me. Oh, you definitely. That's because you know me personally.
I know. These people don't know me personally, so I have to use my music.
But I would like to use your music, too.
All right, well, you try that sometime.
But in the event that they knew me personally, they would just call me and I would give them amazing advice like I give to you that you just fucking don't use because you want to be fucking Thotty McNotty.
I don't want to be Thotty McNotty.
But I do think that it's really, really cool that people can do that through your music.
What are you, we having like a fucking sentimental moment here?
No, but I really. So why are you fucking gazing at me?
Why are you-
Because I just,
I feel very honored
to have a friend
that's that talented
that could inspire me.
Are you crying?
No, my eyes are tearing.
Why are your eyes-
I have, I have, I have-
No, I have eyelashes in
so it makes my eyes water.
Oh my fucking God.
Yeah.
Yeah, what are you like
fucking 16?
Are you 16? No, I'm 34. Yeah. Yeah, what are you, like, fucking 16? Are you 16?
No, I'm 34.
Yeah, and I'm 27.
And here's another thing, damn it.
You know how many people I keep seeing?
Yeah, I see a million people tweet, yo, Joe Blaine's, like, fucking 34 years old, and he tweet like that.
Like, then they get, ain't you old to tweet like that?
Well, let me tell you, young people.
Let me be the one to inform you guys.
What do you think happens at 34?
You guessed it.
Nothing changes.
At all, yeah.
Nothing at all.
It's the exact same shit.
They talk about 34 like it's 55-60.
And even 55-60, I wouldn't say is bad, because I know a few 55-60-year-olds.
But anyway, that's a whole other topic.
They out there getting it?
Yeah, what are you, just snitching on everyone?
You just trying to finish my every fucking thought.
I don't even know who you're referring to, so I can't snitch on anyone.
What's that movie called?
Probably not.
Fifty Shades of Fucking Horned Bitches?
No, I'm not into that Weird shit
I feel like you just
Would say that
You're just not gonna be
Into it because people
Are into it
No no no
I'm not one of those people
I'm a hype beast all the time
I just
I don't know
I don't wanna go to
A fucking movie
With my dumb ass friends
And get all hot and bothered
Watching other people
Have sex on the screen
Like for all that
I'll just go have sex
Like what is the point Of watching other people have sex?
Is that what that's about?
Yeah, it's about, like, some kinky white guy that's, like, into some really weird shit.
And that's what has all you fucking bitches going crazy?
Yeah, like, I don't want to see or read about it.
I don't want to read about it either and get all hot.
Like, especially if I'm by myself.
Like, what am I doing with that?
For all that, I'll fucking go to porn
hub and just like a real nigga yeah like i'm not gonna read a book about it or go see a movie with
a bunch of other people and then it's really awkward because i'm in a theater full of people
doing something that you usually do in private so like nah well you would you would play with
yourself in the theater no i'm saying watch porn that's what i meant i want to go see this movie
just to see what women are fucking.
And especially with like old people in the theater with me.
Like I will be so bothered.
Women just pick the dumbest shit to fucking be into.
But that's not why I brought the movie up.
I brought it up to say that I keep hearing amazing things about the soundtrack.
Oh, yeah.
They have The Weeknd on there.
They have, I don't know, a few people.
And that's where it stops for you. That's all I remember. I can't remember anything else. Oh, yeah. they have The Weeknd on there. They have, I don't know, a few people. And that's where it stops for you.
That's all I remember.
I can't remember anyone else.
Oh, yeah, it must be.
They have The Weeknd and, yeah.
Harder was great.
Way to go.
No, you know what else looks like it has a good soundtrack?
Fast and Furious 7.
There's like a ton of artists on there.
I keep seeing them put out singles for that.
Like who?
Seven Streeter.
That's all I remember right now.
Damn. Yeah. And on that note. seen them put out singles like seven streeter that's all i remember right now damn yeah and
on that note no but literally there's like hella artists hey what's that fan's name in there oh
peter how much uh time you're five minutes over well weren't we gonna cut out your whole little
spiel before anyway hate to be five minutes over because we have weren't we going to cut out your whole little spiel before anyway? I hate to be five minutes over
because we have to keep the people
coming back and wanting more of this stupid
radio bullshit. Everybody yelled at us
about that. Just tell people to subscribe on iTunes
just explain how it works.
I would if I knew
how it works. Go to iTunes,
search I'll name this podcast later
and subscribe and then our new episode
will just pop up on your phone every week.
You won't have to do anything.
And it would be very kind if people were subscribers, if they liked and commented and did all that stuff.
That's how they show support for the podcast.
Like and fucking comment, you bitch ass motherfuckers.
We love you though.
Wait, is that how we're addressing people that we want to support?
Maybe I could like stun them.
I met you.
Your parents are great.
So where did you just go wrong?
No, Pam curses like a fucking sailor.
I'm going to blame,
how old were you when you first heard a Dipset song?
I was in the ninth grade.
Which is how old?
I was 14.
All right, now who were you listening to before then?
Eminem.
I was a huge Eminem fan
I'm talking posters wall to wall
I think maybe Eminem and Dipset maybe ruined you
yeah no definitely
oh and that's definitely what I want to talk about next week
I want to talk about hip hop raising people
oh my gosh I'm great for that
I try not to talk about hip hop on these podcasts
because I have way too much to say about hip-hop and
apparently you are not allowed to speak on hip-hop if you're a part of hip-hop yeah without
being a hater or having your whole fucking resume put under a fucking microscope
so I try not to do that but maybe next week I'll make an exception
because um you know we used to have this debate all the time that that um and this was back in So I try not to do that, but maybe next week I'll make an exception.
Because we used to have this debate all the time, and this was back in the day,
that most of the lost girls were lost because they were raised on Jay-Z and fucking Biggie lyrics.
And today, I think it may be worse because I think most of these girls have been raised on fucking Wayne and fucking—we'll talk about it.
Well, for starters, let's just put that out there that I'm not lost.
I don't go into this category, but—
Why are you personalizing this?
Because you were referencing—I was what inspired you to say that.
But—
Doesn't mean I was talking about you.
I will say that Eminem played a huge part in, like me, but Dipset literally is why I'm even in music today.
So they help.
They're very.
Wait, are we?
All right, time out.
I was going to say they help like crazy.
Are there violins or something that we can play
Are you on your period?
How come everything is like really sentimental
and emotionally and mushy
Do I have to be a douche all day?
I went from talking some real shit
about hip hop raising people
and you said
Well even though nobody raised me
I want to thank Jim Jones
Decappo, Cam, Jewels,
Santana, Bandana, Ziki, Ziki, what's good?
Dibs said one by one, Amsterdam.
Without all of these people, I don't even think I would be where I'm at today.
And first of all, where are you today?
Like you said, like you were somewhere today. I'm known I'm known
in these streets
like you were
somewhere today
I'm very somewhere
where are you
here I am right now
get the fuck out of here
at 54th and 8th
recording this lovely
podcast with you
no
and maybe someone's
gonna come run up
in this building
and ask me for an autograph
we're not on 54th
and 8th
number one
number two
can we not address
the people that we want to subscribe as bitch-ass niggers?
That's not what I said at all.
Because that's why we started.
That's exactly what you said.
Oh, okay.
And three.
My eyes are really watering.
It's not a three, but everything just always sounds better when you have extra numbers.
Yeah, let's just throw a three in there.
Just say something.
Three.
No, no, that was it.
Okay.
All right, fuck it.
All right, I think this was good.
All right, fuck it. All right, I think this was good. All right.
I enjoyed you getting back to your...
To my co-hosting.
Back to where you fucking belong.
Look, I was co-hosting last week.
I just had a story to tell.
No, no, no.
Well, we'll never tell another one.
Never.
We don't ever want to hear a story.
We don't ever want to hear your celebrity gossip.
You fucking told me to.
Enough.
Enough is enough.
Hey, Mark, you dropped my phone.
We have to find a way for me to cut your mic out without just pulling a wire out of the thingamajig right there.
That's not nice.
Anyway, let's sign off.
Have a wonderful week.
No, no, no.
You don't tell me to sign off.
Are you telling me to have a wonderful week?
Yes, you have a wonderful week.
Oh, you too.
I want the listeners to have a wonderful week, and I want you guys to know two things.
Number one, Madi wouldn't be where she is
without Dipset.
And two,
Tupac cares
if don't nobody else care.
All right.
Stop trying to have the last word on my phone.
That was great.
Like, set the fuck up, Madi.
One.
Peace.