The Joe Budden Podcast - I'll Name This Podcast Later Episode 44

Episode Date: December 16, 2015

While being bombarded with camera's and lights, the trio sits down to discuss the Mount Rushmore of Hoes, Love & Hip Hop, independent vs label, album flops, and few .. "random" stories!...

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:26 I will name this podcast later. Episode number 44, I'm assuming. Yes. Yeah. Somewhere around there. I guess every weekend. I'm right. We start the same way.
Starting point is 00:00:34 Thanks, Marissa. I'm your host, Joe Budden. To the left of me is my unbeautiful co-host, Madi the Body. Thank you. And to the right of me, I shocked all of you with another unbeautiful co-host, Michael Roars. How you doing, bro? You've judged me. If you guys are listening, we're sitting in different places.
Starting point is 00:00:52 I'm gay. You decided to come out for 44 weeks? I'm coming out. It's my coming out party. Don't make a mockery of that. It's not funny. Me? Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:01:00 The best man from a transgender wedding? Yo, I watched it. I had cable the other day. I was at a hotel and I got to see the fucking full episode. Because Marissa doesn't have cable, everyone out there. So she was in a hotel. Wonder what she was doing there. Where was this hotel at?
Starting point is 00:01:12 It was in New York. So let me understand. Slow down. Slow down. So we live in Jersey City. Yes, yes, yes. Which is in close proximity to the Holland Tunnel. It is very close proximity.
Starting point is 00:01:25 Was the path train not running? I drive to the city. My car was with me. Why'd you stay? Why'd you need a hotel? I bet you didn't book the hotel. Whose hotel was it? It wasn't mine.
Starting point is 00:01:37 I went on a date because the one that you said curved me in LA that didn't curve me because we never had plans to begin with. So the guy that curved you? He came to New York for some stuff. He was with his girl in LA you said curved me in L.A. that didn't curve me because we never had plans to begin with. So the guy that curved you? He came to New York for some stuff. He was with his girl in L.A. And curved me. Wait, he was out here. Wait, I want to hear this story. This is great.
Starting point is 00:01:52 So he came out to New York. And I wasn't going to go because I was like. Wait, wait, wait. Hold up. Was he in New York working? Yes, he was working. So he wasn't here to see you. Yeah, well.
Starting point is 00:02:00 Okay, so he was here for work. Yeah, and me. What does he do for a living? Things that aren't your business. All right, so continue with the whole story here. No, there mean a Jace. Okay, so he was here for work. Yeah, and me. A Jace. What does he do for a living? Things that aren't your business. All right, so continue with the whole story here. No, there's no whole story. He came and he was like, oh, babe, I'm in New York. I want to see you, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Starting point is 00:02:13 And I really wasn't going to go because I'm really like about, you know, only putting effort into things of substance these days. And, you know, how can it be much if he's in L.A. and I'm in New York and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So then he convinced me after like a thousand calls and FaceTimes and whatever so I went over there and we had like the cutest night ever like we went and we smoked hookah and then we came back and then we watched couples therapy and we like made out like teenagers I did not tell her to say that no we really did watch it and because we were talking about you and that's what I text you and ask you how
Starting point is 00:02:40 tall you were because we were like debating how tall you were and I know it was the gayest conversation ever. And it was just really cute. Well, Joe's gay now, so that might be... That's cool. Maybe he was inquiring. And then... Shut up, Rory.
Starting point is 00:02:51 His flight was... Well, his car service was leaving for his flight at 4.15 a.m. And his father, who also traveled with him... Hey, hey, hey, sir. Good line, sir. No, no, no, no, no. Hey, can I finish?
Starting point is 00:03:01 Let me get my joke off. Got my car service. Damn, my yo. Yo, it was great to see you. No, that's not how it works. Yo, but I finish? Let me get my joke off. Got my car serviced. Damn, my yo. Yo, it was great to see you. No, that's not how it works. Yo, but I got to get running. Fuck you guys. Anyway, so I helped him pack, and then his father-
Starting point is 00:03:15 The story is too long. All right, let's get to the important part of your story. Did you have a ho-bag with you? A ho-bag? A ho-bag. Oh. Do you not know what a ho-bag is? No, but a guy that came over to my house yesterday, he had a ho bag with him.
Starting point is 00:03:26 Can I say that I, and I didn't plan to talk about this at all, so we're not going to talk about it, but I do respect women who have a ho bag. I just carry a toothbrush. No, you don't know how to ho bag. They're much more tolerable in the morning when they have a ho bag. Right? Way better. Morning goes much smoother.
Starting point is 00:03:44 It just makes things a lot smoother for the guy if she has a whole bag she's got her own toothbrush her own toothpaste she changed her panties she's got her own fucking whatever she's gonna sleep in she's got to change her clothes she's got another change of clothes makeup i was gonna say real hoes bring baby wipes baby wipes for her ass, fresh. I don't know. Hairbrush. She's got fucking detergent. This bitch got everything in the fucking... Deodorant. Yeah, exactly. Like, if you're going to hold, know how to hold right.
Starting point is 00:04:10 So I want to encourage all the women out there to pack. A quick PSA. And men, because men end up at places too. When I had a car, I had a whole bag with me all the time. What was in your whole bag? It was typically basketball shorts, maybe a clean wife beater. If I wanted to hang out. That's not really a hole bag, though.
Starting point is 00:04:27 I don't feel like men need a hole bag because we can always run in any bathroom. Yeah, but men with a job in the morning need a hole bag. Clean our fucking pubes right quick. That's gross. I mean, I've never done it. You've never had a real job, though, until you get it in the morning. I've never had pubes. Okay. Well i've never i've done it you don't have you've never had a real job though i've never had pubes okay it's a joke it's a joke
Starting point is 00:04:52 sexual uh things with you today no no we're definitely not doing it um but so speaking of hoes last night was that last night what What's today? Today's technically Wednesday. A couple of nights ago, I found myself very busy on a Monday night. I was traveling. I was coming back home. It was yesterday. Yeah, that was, no, it's Wednesday. Oh, it's Wednesday.
Starting point is 00:05:16 That was yesterday. That was two days ago. So I found myself really busy as I was traveling to come back home on Monday evening, and I was very sad, and I was very disappointed because I was going to miss love and hip hop. Now let me qualify for a couple of seconds. I have not watched love and hip hop since before I proposed to maybe on love and hip hop,
Starting point is 00:05:37 maybe like three episodes before that I stopped. Did she say yes? No, I missed that episode. I'll catch a rerun. It's fine anyway fucking up no we have more equipment here than ever and you're throwing water so so i missed loving hip-hop which i was very disappointed about because i was really excited
Starting point is 00:06:03 to see cardi b i was such a piece of shit. I really considered canceling dinner with my mother on Monday night so I could catch the episode in real time. Well, as you should have.
Starting point is 00:06:12 I figured she would understand to see Cardi Christ. Fucking Cardi B. Queen Cardi. Bless VH1. Who did VH1 a favor? I think that Cardi B
Starting point is 00:06:21 is about to be like Superstar? The new voice for the whole. She is. That's what I think. No, no is about to be like the new voice for the hoes. She is. That's what I think. No, no, no. For real. I don't know who the old voice for the hoes was.
Starting point is 00:06:33 Superhead. No. No. Geez. Nobody liked her. They just were so interested in her shit. No, no. Nobody.
Starting point is 00:06:40 She's not relatable. She didn't speak for the hoes. Nobody wants to hang out with her. They just want to hear her fucking hoes story. Cardi B't speak for the hoes Nobody wants to hang out with her They just want to hear her fucking ho story Cardi B is speaking for the hoes Much like Jocelyn Hernandez spoke for the hoes Yeah but like I think this is even on a bigger scale than that She's on a greater scale than Jocelyn Hernandez
Starting point is 00:06:54 I don't know that yet Did Kat Stacks speak for the hoes? No She's another Amber speaks for the hoes Yeah The hoes love Kim K because Kim K, they aspire to. She's like the only hoe that made it.
Starting point is 00:07:08 Yeah, but she doesn't speak for the hoes. Like, she won't admit, hey, I'm a hoe. Yeah, but she's graduated. So, like, she gives hope to the hoes is what I'm saying. And I don't mean Nicole can probably ask you no because I don't know her to be a hoe. But the hoes aspire to be like her for some reason. Even though I think Kylie now, for some reason I was on that girl's Instagram page the other day, Kylie.
Starting point is 00:07:32 I like her, although I don't want to like her. Kylie might be the voice for the hoes in a few years. She's the voice for the hoes now. No, she's not. No, she might be the voice for the hoes. She needs to fuck a few more people. She's done no thotting. Still, she comes from a family of fucking royal fucking thots. It's like a lineage of thots. It's like no thoughting. Still, she comes from a family of fucking
Starting point is 00:07:45 royal fucking thoughts. It's like a lineage of thoughts. It's like royal thoughts. Who are the royal thoughts? The Kardashians. I mean, they're not thoughts for real. Marilyn Monroe. Yeah, the Kardashians are like... Are we talking about the Mount Rushmore of hosts?
Starting point is 00:08:00 Marilyn Monroe is number one. She's George Washington. She's on the dollar bill Yeah she's like fucking Wilt Marilyn Monroe is the Wilt Chamberlain of hoes Right? I mean Wilt Chamberlain is the Wilt Chamberlain of hoes That bitch is the KRS-One of dotting
Starting point is 00:08:16 Yeah she's like fucking Grandmaster Flash Alright Kim K I'm not calling her a hoe But she is on the Mount Rushmore of hoes Because hoes aspire To be like her
Starting point is 00:08:28 Right I'm gonna throw A quick curveball in there Paris Hilton Oh She revolutionized the game Nope Nope
Starting point is 00:08:35 Nope Nope Nope Nope Kim wouldn't be Kim Without her She did put Kim on She's an OG
Starting point is 00:08:40 But Kim showed her How to do this son So Yeah you made a hot line I made a hot song Paris Hilton I'm not bro I'm not putting Paris Hilton On the fucking Mount Rushmore of hoes Okay But Kim showed her how to do this, son. Yeah, you made a hot line. I made a hot song. Paris Hilton? I'm not putting Paris Hilton on the fucking Mount Rushmore of hoes.
Starting point is 00:08:49 Whoever said, oh man, I really want to fuck her. Paris had a run. When? You're going to tell me Paris Hilton didn't have a ho run? No. I don't think she had a ho run. She was the original Kim. She just didn't fuck rappers. Then she wasn't hoing right. She signed to whole run. She was the original Kim. She had like a new boyfriend every week. Yeah, it was all like white people. Then she wasn't hoeing right.
Starting point is 00:09:06 Yeah. I mean, she signed to Cash Money. Why do you know that? Because. You know like all the useless information. She actually had a good song on there. I like two of her songs. So we got Marilyn Monroe, Kim.
Starting point is 00:09:21 Amber. Amber, I'm throwing on there. How many? Is it on Mount Rushmore 5? It has to be. Kim. Amber. Amber, I'm throwing on there. How many is on Mount Rushmore 5? She has to be. Yeah. Why do you know parents who signed to cash money and don't know how many people on Mount Rushmore? See what I mean about you?
Starting point is 00:09:33 Not important info. We're at three. Right? How many are on Mount Rushmore? See? Are y'all serious? Five? Do you know?
Starting point is 00:09:41 Yes. Okay. Yes, I'm positive. I said that number, so I knew a Jace. So we need two more so we can exit this. That's tough. I still think Superhead owes some work here. No, G.
Starting point is 00:09:56 She started the book game. Does Melissa Ford get a mention here? If Melissa Ford is on there and Superhead is not, I'm blowing up this Mount Rushmore. Can we just fuse one face for like all of the 90s hoes? No. Wait, who were the hoes
Starting point is 00:10:10 in the 90s? Like Gloria Velez, Melissa Ford. Oh, my baby. I know. Oh, man. Lil' Glow Glow. I miss that episode
Starting point is 00:10:17 of Loving It Bob, too. Oh, my goodness. It wasn't on. It wasn't on. That was like a trillion years ago and then she was on camera like, yeah, he ate it and da-da-da-da.
Starting point is 00:10:22 Oh, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah. All right. Fuzzy Mike's here alright we're just gonna keep moving right along since we couldn't think
Starting point is 00:10:30 of two more people from the Mountain Rush how did it taste I was how did what taste what are you talking about I was waiting for Cardi B on Love & Hip Hop
Starting point is 00:10:40 and I didn't see her no I was really upset I missed it I ran home saw a rerun and it wasn't there uh i will say though i i am enjoying remy and papu's way more than i thought that i would i like to see the different side actually not even remy because i always liked remy and i've
Starting point is 00:10:59 always liked pap too but you never really knew too much pap sounds like a great fucking guy you know everyone clowns pat but he's a way better person than all of us. It makes me think when I see him of all the people that have slandered Papoose which he's done quite a bit
Starting point is 00:11:15 that should be slandered maybe as have I. As have I. No one's beyond slander. But sometimes the things that he says if it wasn't coming from Papoose's mouth people may agree with it. Oh, that's like with me.
Starting point is 00:11:27 Yeah. Yeah. Papoose showed me a real, like, I don't want to say sensitive side, but just, I love it. Everything I saw from him in episode one, I fucking love. But anyway, so off of that. So I was heated and I was steaming and I was so upset that I wasted an hour watching the show and didn't see Cardi B. The whole reason that I'm trying to watch the show. So I immediately text the loving hip hop producers and I say, dogs.
Starting point is 00:11:53 Just let me know what episode Cardi is premiering. And they said next week. So I think that they've gotten enough of those texts to know that people are waiting for her. They know their star. enough of those texts to know that people are waiting for her. They know their star. She's being promoted on,
Starting point is 00:12:08 she's like hosting at her job. But she quit that job though. She stopped stripping a month ago, bro. I follow her on Instagram. I go to lust right now, tonight, and see fucking Cardi B
Starting point is 00:12:20 dropping it like it's hot. All right, so she quit, like Naya quit before her. Like Erica quit before. I can name a bunch of bitches that quit whatever they were doing and they go back to it. I have to ask. Who is the chick? She used to be Tahiri's friend or is Tahiri's friend.
Starting point is 00:12:35 I fucking forgot. She's like Morpheus in different color wigs. Oh, Rah Ali. Oh, you're talking about Rashida. Why is she on the show still? Let's be perfectly clear. She has to be fucking Rah Ali. Rashida is eating someone's vagina on...
Starting point is 00:12:47 I have to know. She's annoyed me since... She came on when you came on, right? Same time? Or before? I think it was the same time. She has never had a storyline. Never.
Starting point is 00:12:56 Like, what does she do? She's randomly friends with people. And now she's managing people. She annoys the hell... How is she still on this TV show? She can look a good pussy I know She is licking somebody's pussy
Starting point is 00:13:08 I don't know this to be true And what's her name again? Oh I can't Rah Ali Rah Ali Rah Ali I don't want the work Cause I heard you slice people's faces
Starting point is 00:13:16 Allegedly And Rory's a fag And I'm a bitch Yeah So this is In a Paisley shirt Anything that said Joe is fully responsible
Starting point is 00:13:23 Paisley Is that the right word? Oh yeah I'm with the shit. I'm perfectly fine with being with the shit. But but no, I mean, she knows she's eating somebody pussy on it. It's not a secret. I thought she liked guys.
Starting point is 00:13:35 She reminds me of Dr. Mike. You don't think that Rashi. No, I'm just using your brain. The one that knows that Paris Hilton is signed to cash money. You don't think that you don't think Rashi eats pussy just using your brain. The one that knows that Paris Hilton has signed the cash money. You don't think that, uh, you don't think Rashida Ali eats pussy. All right, it doesn't matter. She also has the greatest occupation of all time. I actually do look for her when she comes on the show because they put her name and then they put her occupation, which is stiletto expert.
Starting point is 00:13:57 Oh, yeah. What the fuck is a stiletto? Like, what does that even mean? So you have to think that, like, the first time she was on, the producers were like, all right, what do you want us to say you are? Like, we have to put copy on the screen. And she couldn't figure it out. So she was like, well, I have a lot of shoes.
Starting point is 00:14:14 To her defense, Rashida owned a very popular shoe store in Harlem many years ago. And quite a few people have gone by there. I know I went by there. I was with you at the time. That girl's an expert.'ve I went by there I was with Tiri at the time That girl's an expert And I guess the store Got closed down Or something of the sort
Starting point is 00:14:29 I don't fucking remember Must have been a really good expert So now she's an Expert I guess Does she write Does she write for various Listen bro
Starting point is 00:14:37 Listen bro Various magazines I don't pretend to know Does she Does she do a class But She gonna come for you bro I don't want that work
Starting point is 00:14:44 She gonna fuck Rory up She gonna slash your face And don't. I don't want that work. She gonna slash your face and don't call me either. She like makes videos outside of people's houses and shit. She allegedly did that. Because I think she beat the case. Beat the case, boys. So outside of that. I don't want that work.
Starting point is 00:14:57 All right. So I just I say all of that to say that I really look forward to Cardi B's premiere on Love and Hip Hop. And I get mad when they trick me um quantico that neither one of you watch um for the listeners out there quantico they're in season one uh they just had their winter finale um i don't normally watch shows as they air i like to binge watch on uh on demand or just wherever, Apple TV, wherever. But this is the only show that I watch as it airs on television. And if you know me, you know I've been an advocate of how great this show is.
Starting point is 00:15:35 I've put many people on this show, same way I did with Power. And I got to say, hated the finale. Didn't like it. Wasn't into it. They tried to twist and turn too much, and you lost me somewhere. And I got away till March 2nd. You're losing me. With Quantico. It's an amazing show.
Starting point is 00:15:51 You should see it. I'll watch it. So this is a big deal that the finale was not good because the show was really amazing. But fine, I won't talk about anything mature. All right, let's talk about something else. What do you guys want to fucking talk about? Let's talk about how high and mighty you are since you've been the best man at a transgender wedding now all of a sudden you're fucking pc pat and you're mad sensitive
Starting point is 00:16:14 towards people's uh issues i just called you a faggot two minutes ago so i'm not that sensitive i was fake gay when we started the show so yeah no that's him acting like uh he thinks because he went on A transgender Oh yeah Couples therapy finale That was the finale That was the finale Thank the
Starting point is 00:16:29 I mean how else Could you end End a show like that With me as the best man At a transgender wedding With no outfit I was getting killed For my fucking outfit
Starting point is 00:16:37 Like yo How you gonna wear Jeans to a wedding Cause I really went To that house For a wedding The whole season You and Kalenlin looked so homeless,
Starting point is 00:16:46 but that's really your average homeless couture. Well, number one, I always look homeless. You do. Number two, I enjoy looking homeless. You do. Number three, when you are in therapy, they say that when you look that way, it's because you're really prepared to do therapy
Starting point is 00:17:01 and work on the inside. You're not so concerned with your outer appearance, which is a problem with most of the humans in the universe. All right. That, that sounded pretty gay. I'm like, fuck,
Starting point is 00:17:10 what? You're on TV. Don't look like pure shit. Exactly. Sorry that I don't care about stuff like that. But, okay. You're so noble.
Starting point is 00:17:18 On to more serious things. Well, no, let's not get on to more serious things. There are camera people here. A lot. Well, no, let's not get into more serious things. There are camera people here. A lot. And they are filming. This is called acknowledging the third wall.
Starting point is 00:17:33 None of us. Breaking the third wall. It's called the fourth wall. All of those walls. Every one of those walls, we broke them. See, you don't know any of the stuff you should know. I'm sure Maddie's had her walls broken before. Last record deal.
Starting point is 00:17:47 Yeah, she doesn't have any walls up, right? How do you even know about walls? So listen, there's a camera crew here. There's a lot of them. They're filming. Me, Rory, Norma, Rissa know exactly why they're filming or why they're here. And we just kind of allowed this. And one of them has a cape on.
Starting point is 00:18:03 They could be the feds. Not really sure how we're supposed to feel about this. But whatever. I wanted to say that because if you hear Marissa acting like a weirdo at any point during this podcast, it's because Marissa is really weird around people. Yo. Now, with that said, let's talk about some serious shit here for a minute. We're going to talk about something that
Starting point is 00:18:27 I that's very dear to my heart that I am extremely passionate about. This can kind of be a PSA because I feel like every time this conversation comes up
Starting point is 00:18:43 I don't think the fans have a good gauge I don't think the fans have a good gauge in terms of what is deemed a flop and what isn't a flop in the music business. Right?
Starting point is 00:19:00 Because fans just call everything a flop. Is that accurate? If you don't sell fucking 400,000 records in a week, then you're a flop. Got that. That's cool. But now, so this is... In a world where you can get it for free.
Starting point is 00:19:14 Yeah. So this is relevant now because... Why is this relevant now? Oh, because we're seeing a slew of artists who appear to be upset with their record label. I'm always
Starting point is 00:19:32 split on this fight because you know how women just empathize with other women? Labels empathize with labels. Absolutely. And artists. Especially now because all their employees have probably
Starting point is 00:19:49 worked at every label. It's like a fucking rotating thing. Are you at Atlantic this week? I'll be there next week. I tend to empathize with artists. Maybe because I identify or relate to them. No, I just do.
Starting point is 00:20:05 So recently we have, and it's a shame because I really, really enjoyed August Alsina's last project. I loved it. The debut. Yes. I loved it.
Starting point is 00:20:15 I loved the joint with Pusha T. I loved fucking Pornstar. I loved the joint with Fab. I just loved it. I just loved it. That's it. And it was one of those joints where I didn't want to love it.
Starting point is 00:20:26 I didn't want to love it, but I ended up loving it. So you have August Alsina, who I would say that was a respectable debut. Yeah. He did pretty good. Can we find out what he did
Starting point is 00:20:33 on his debut? I can. I have the internet. Yeah, let's actually fact check for a change. Oh, I'm sorry. I was watching Cardi B and DJ Self
Starting point is 00:20:41 on The Breakfast Club. Way to go. Way to go, Rory. We don't normally fact check on this show just because it's much more fun to not know what you're talking about and just say shit. Dab on the horse. But I would say he had a pretty respectable debut, which you would assume would garner some type of support from his label. And apparently he doesn't feel as though he's getting that um this is when you can jump in with the gossipy stuff that he tweeted yeah he tweeted um at def jam although he made
Starting point is 00:21:14 up a fake page he put def jam like d-e-a-f to imply that they're not hearing hey and i want full credit for calling def jam def jam D-E-A-F I said this in 04 August originally did 67K No, dammit, I want my credit Okay, great, but he did 67K That wasn't what she was saying Yeah, 67,000 was his last year debut
Starting point is 00:21:36 And this week he's on set to do 35 to 40 But anyhow So Jeremiah tweeted Def Jam was like, y'all not hearing me And then he was just basically saying that he's upset with his label. Wait, Jeremiah or August? Not Jeremiah. Jeremiah.
Starting point is 00:21:47 August did the same thing, though, too. We're talking about August. You asked me about Jeremiah two seconds ago. I asked you about August. Yeah, I heard. I said August. If he did, I didn't hear him. I said August.
Starting point is 00:21:56 Oh, it was August. I didn't even get to Jeremiah yet. Yeah, August blasted them on Instagram and said that they leaked his, I mean, Twitter and said that they leaked his album and he's really upset about it. And I wasn't quite sure why he was blaming them for the leak. I don't know if there's something he knew internally. August, who has proved himself to be
Starting point is 00:22:12 who has shown himself to be rather emotional at times. Right? We can agree with that? Yes. Something happened with his album. I guess it leaked. It did leak. He is of the impression that he's of the belief that his label leaked it or something like that. And he went nuts. It did leak. It was like two days ago. He is of the impression that, he's of the belief that his label leaked it or something like that.
Starting point is 00:22:27 And he went nuts. He went wild. He said, fuck you Def Jam. Right? And didn't delete it either. Nope. He kept it up.
Starting point is 00:22:37 Even after his apology, he kept up those fucking tweets. Yeah, he didn't say I was hacked. Because he real. I appreciate that. And that's why I respect it. He felt it. He said it.
Starting point is 00:22:44 He fucking left it uh i think more artists should do that instead of deleting or going with i was hacked or you know the bullshit you niggas do but in his letter that he wrote because i was late to the party would find out what was going on he wrote the letter and i read the letter and the letter was like yo i love my music and i work real hard on my music and i just don't you know the fans are being shortchanged and i speak i speak for the fans so when i'm saying fuck def jam it's really just for the fans i get it i get it i totally understand that but if you're saying that august is on track to do 30 to 40 yeah um 35 to 40 sales plus streaming i think that's great i think i mean compared to 67 000 last year that's great
Starting point is 00:23:26 he had a yeah i love this he had a hit record last time around and he remixed it with fucking chris and trey the fucking two fucking r&b poster boys and he put out a good album yeah and he did 67 so now you're here back around with no label support you feel like i won't say it because i don't know um no record because i haven't heard any record off this album you nope you nope uh it says album includes song cry been around the world featuring chris brown so i guess i never i never heard anything pushing so maybe he's upset that the label's not pushing the singles properly who cares about any of that if you did 67 with help and 40 with no help what the fuck are you mad about all right so that's one right and then you have uh jeremiah jeremiah he's on he did 18
Starting point is 00:24:14 oh yeah oh he should be mad yeah shit i should be mad It's just a weird time Like the R&B R. Kelly is gonna do Why am I that mad Now that I'm thinking about it R. Kelly is gonna do 32 to 37 You're speeding No I'm just saying
Starting point is 00:24:34 Like it's weird that it's just Is it R&B Like is it something That's going on with that Ty Dolla $ign did like 22 Like it's all shitty Low numbers Ty Dolla $ign didn't do 22
Starting point is 00:24:43 Yeah he did some Yeah he did low Yeah he did a little Really bad shit For a really great album too I see people say that album is great It's really good I haven't listened to it There's shit that
Starting point is 00:24:52 I like that I know you would like On that album Oh send it to me I will Did Jeremiah diss Def Jam Yes he did 50 Cent did it first
Starting point is 00:25:01 On his behalf Oh yeah but that don't count That don't count And then he echoed Cause they priced it at $18.99 in Target and shit, which they said was like fucking unheard of as well. So they were upset about that. And then he was just-
Starting point is 00:25:11 How many, was it a double disc? Right. No, it's a single fucking album. Oh, yeah. I listened to it. It's not that long. But wait a minute now. Only, because I saw 50 say that.
Starting point is 00:25:22 Only Target had it at $18.99? I think it was, I guess, any retail outlet. iTunes was the same price as usual, like $9.99 or whatever. So maybe I'm thinking that Def Jam had a hard time getting Jeremiah into Target. I wasn't in Target. Target is very picky. Oh, they didn't ship as well. That's what he was upset about.
Starting point is 00:25:44 Best Buy only got six or seven copies apiece. Corporate offices at Best Buy in Chicago said that they had no shipment for next week. Sounds like a Joe Budnaum. Yeah. But the thing is about Jeremiah. Oh, but when I complain. The thing I feel about Jeremiah is he did an interview last year with Billboard. And he was saying, you know, because the Don't Tell Them shit was super hot last summer.
Starting point is 00:26:04 And there was still no video. And he was like, you know, it's kind of my fault. They had a video set up. I didn't go. I was super hot last summer And there was still no video And he was like You know it's kinda my fault They had a video set up I didn't go I was going through mad shit I'm still kinda going through some shit So basically he was saying like
Starting point is 00:26:11 He was not really Supporting his own self Or whatever So it's kinda hard Last time around Yeah well no This is the same project Don't tell them it's actually
Starting point is 00:26:18 On this album It's been delayed for that long Yeah Don't tell them it's on this album Planes is on this album With J. Cole Yeah Planes is on this fucking album Wait wait wait I was so surprised, wait, wait, wait.
Starting point is 00:26:26 I was so surprised when I saw Plains. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait two seconds. Yep. Don't Tell Him 2014
Starting point is 00:26:34 with YG. That song. That song? Summer 2014. It is December 2015. And Plains with that J. Cole verse that I don't particularly
Starting point is 00:26:44 like to listen to. J. Cole verse that I don't particularly like to listen to. J. Cole telling you to suck his penis. Like there's a foot in your mouth. I don't want to hear J. Cole talk. It's so awkward. I think everyone was uncomfortable when that game won. Let me just say, I've
Starting point is 00:26:59 been around at least five thots who lowered the radio when that part comes on and they say it. They like that part. That's their favorite part. No, it's still weird though. I think J. Cole's attractive and I still get uncomfortable during that verse. It's just weird coming from his...
Starting point is 00:27:16 Yeah, just the way he says it and like a foot is in your mouth. Like, what are you saying? Just weird coming from him. I'm uncomfortable when I hear it coming from him. Like if another... Like if fucking ODB said it, I'd be like... Right. Like, suck a dick is cool. I'm uncomfortable when I hear it coming from him. Like if another, like if fucking, like ODB said it, I'd be like, oh, okay. Like, suck a dick is cool. I don't mind.
Starting point is 00:27:29 Talk about it all day. But J. Cole saying it. Only because maybe he had the dogs in the wet dreams video. All of it. I don't want to, if you put dogs in a video, I don't want to hear you say that. Cole and sex doesn't work. Yeah, I didn't need to hear about Cole's virginity. Let me tell you how phony I am.
Starting point is 00:27:44 When Kendrick Says something like that I love it Yeah but Kendrick is I don't know maybe he just delivers it Fucking problems ASAP Oh
Starting point is 00:27:55 I like that song It's a different delivery Everyone says that Kendrick line Cole does it awkwardly That's the problem Kendrick does it just cool like he may not talk about sex often but when he does
Starting point is 00:28:07 he gets it off like Cole says girl you know you want this dick is way more catchy and fun to say than than listening to J. Cole describe
Starting point is 00:28:18 a woman dick so long it's like a foot is in your mouth like every time it's just inappropriate no that's great I think my problem is that he sung it It's like a foot is in your mouth. Like every time it's just inappropriate. No, that's great.
Starting point is 00:28:26 I think my problem is that he sung it. Because there's nothing wrong with what y'all are saying right now. I think it's just, and I sing the verse all the way up until he starts singing. You need a foot in your life. Yeah, but like. Take my foot in. If it was like. Dog, I need to hear aggression when I'm inserting my cock. That's like a foot in your mouth.
Starting point is 00:28:51 First of all, if my dick is 12 inches fucking long, which I'm not saying it isn't. I wasn't going to inquire. Why did you look at Roars when you said that? Yeah, dude, the cameras get on you and this gets kind of fucking weird. He's like, I didn't say it wasn't real. I'm really uncomfortable. Ever since Joe started dating Austin Mills, I think,
Starting point is 00:29:12 did Austin turn you out? Is that what happened? Rory, you're not my type. No, I'm getting uncomfortable, guys. All right. I would never date you. That's fine. You're not my type either.
Starting point is 00:29:20 Now I lost what I was saying. I like my men dressing better. Okay, that he shouldn't be singing. If you have a 12-inch dick and you're putting it in some fucking unsuspected thoughts mouth, you're just not going to fucking sing it. You're just not.
Starting point is 00:29:33 You might not even say a word to the bitch. But I feel like if Wayne said it, it wouldn't bother me. Well, I don't think we should get into that one. Caught me off guard there. Won't get into why. If anybody like Wayne or someone like that said it.
Starting point is 00:29:49 Let's talk about someone else who said it. So Cole can't just tenderly get some head on his 12 inch dick. Hey, wait a minute now. If Cole is not with the girl, he broke up with the sweetheart. Oh, no, no, no. They're still together. Melissa? They broke up?
Starting point is 00:30:06 He's single? Oh, now you like the line. Now what do you know? He's a really, really nice girl, by the way. I'm going to hop in those DMs like a fucking grasshopper. You're not his type. I bet I could do it.
Starting point is 00:30:22 Some women feel like they could bag anybody. But anyway, we're off on a tangent We were talking about something We don't want to talk about J. Cole's sexual Jeremiah with planes And don't tell him which I love He's had a great year I mean it's been almost two years
Starting point is 00:30:37 He's had a great few years Yeah but the problem is That they didn't capitalize it while the iron was hot Or however the phrase goes 18, 22,000 It was spread out success Yeah, but the problem is that they didn't capitalize it while the iron was hot or however the phrase goes. 18, 22,000. 18. It was spread out success.
Starting point is 00:30:49 Yeah. And it just didn't kind of be cohesive the way it was. And who else did they throw off the fucking diving board? Def Jam or just labels, period. Period. Well, like I said, R. Kelly. I feel like because of the Christmas break I mean the whole industry shuts down in December And like January
Starting point is 00:31:10 Or is it just December? The whole month of December? It's the end of January I'm looking at Pusha T's rollout Pusha T is signed to where? Def Jam, well good music Def Jam But yes Def Jam handles all his rollouts. What's going on with Def Jam? But you have to understand, he's royalty in that building.
Starting point is 00:31:31 They can't fuck that up. Shit if they can't. No, no, no, I'm saying. Shit if they can't fuck it up. I'm saying they, not in that they can't. Kanye will lose his mind if they fuck it up. He's royalty in that building. Are you saying you don't think
Starting point is 00:31:46 that Pusha T's rollout is good? Do you think that Pusha T's rollout, and I'm having just a hypothetical conversation as a fan, because I'm a huge Pusha fan. Me too. Do you think that Pusha T's rollout looks like the label is saying, we better get this right? No.
Starting point is 00:32:01 I'm suggesting that with Kanye behind him, they put a little bit more effort in but it seems my problem with their rollout now is it's pushes back but there's no really music that they're pushing they're pushing him yeah i see him everywhere because we love him yeah we love him but i don't see any music backing which is Which is smart. And they stole my rap genius idea that I did for your album. And I'm still salty about that. What? Releasing older lyrics before the album comes out.
Starting point is 00:32:33 Yeah, but that's a good thing. That's a good thing that people are stealing that. No, it is. Because it highlights words and lyrics and lyricism. So you want more people that are lyricists like Pusha T to. And I think he annotated them the way you did too so except you had the videos so fuck def jam ross wouldn't that be like a rob mark do we ross is on def jam too right yes he is he did 67 yeah i heard his first numbers were lies because i heard 30 and then then i heard it was 60 so
Starting point is 00:33:03 either either someone bought a lot of albums in one day. It was 67, but it was also the lowest of his career. I'm not going to say that someone purchased albums because I know how that goes too. It's very expensive to buy that many albums. I know back in the day, I know some people purchase albums for a fact. And back in the day, they did that. If you were fighting with somebody for a fact um and you know back in the day they did that you know if you know you
Starting point is 00:33:26 were fighting with somebody for a number one spot the label buys a couple and now you got it all right cool we got that today i don't know how lucrative it would be to buy that many like to go from 30 to 67 i don't think that many people bought that i know 50 said that so it's easy for neutral fucking thinkers to just run with what he said, but I don't feel that way. But, I mean, the point that I'm making here is there are a lot of albums getting dropped off the fucking diving board, and I was having a conversation. I saw someone tweet recently. They said 50 can't say shit about Ross.
Starting point is 00:34:03 50 last album did,ah, blah, blah. And I was like, eh. And that is where I think the fans are a bit uneducated. Flop. What do fans think the word flop means? I think they change it with every fucking thing. All right, so you don't know. It's probably relative to their perception of an artist
Starting point is 00:34:24 and what they should be doing. As in Ross, if it was 30, that's a flop because Ross should be doing 100K in their brain. Well, 67 is a flop for Ross too. I mean, like I said, it is the lowest. I mean, on a major, yeah, because he's done 100 on his other ones. So let's put some perspective into this. The word flop, and I hate to be all educational with all these camera people around, but we can be funny another time. The word flop, if you do not recoup what you spend, it's a flop, right?
Starting point is 00:34:59 Correct. I agree. That should be a very simple definition All across the board Now A lot of times fans are unaware Of what is being spent On a project Like they have no idea
Starting point is 00:35:15 What goes in the Let's see you got a recording budget You got a fucking video budget A radio budget You got all of this Fucking shit That totals Whatever it totals Remember a bunch of years ago
Starting point is 00:35:28 When niggas was running around Saying yeah Just got the two million dollar deal Ah No you didn't Uh You got a deal With some numbers
Starting point is 00:35:37 And a budget And it totals This Now in the event And if you sell A certain amount of albums Then maybe you'll get the back end But typically That's a really high number So you don't get it So if you got a certain amount of albums, then maybe you'll get the back end, but typically that's a really high number,
Starting point is 00:35:46 so you don't get it. So if you got a $2 million deal, you got the advance of $2 million? No. You ain't getting no fucking $2 million. Granted, there can be a bonus for when you sign, but not a lot of artists get that in there. And the signing bonus is in your pocket.
Starting point is 00:35:56 You don't owe that back, whatever happens to your album. No, you owe that back too. That too, the bonus? It's called an advance. We're advancing this to you. That's it. And then if you do not recoup your costs, you are required to pay that back.
Starting point is 00:36:10 You owe them a certain amount of money. No, you got to pay that back regardless. That has to go back. That comes out of the sales. Then it goes even and then you guys split whatever the splits are at that point. But if it never breaks even, you owe them money at that point. Yes. Okay.
Starting point is 00:36:24 And do people actually pay that? You're in the red. Will the label sue the artist? Has that happened? Or do they kind of just cut their losses and let it go? No. I mean, it depends. It's circumstantial.
Starting point is 00:36:36 Depends on, I mean, is that your last? They're going to get theirs. The label is going to get theirs. Make them do more stuff and not pay them? No. I mean, if I gave you $2 million and you put your album out and you sold fucking, what did you sell? 50,000 copies or 40,000 copies or some shit. Your next go around.
Starting point is 00:36:54 Oh, we're scaling all the way back. Yeah. Go make your album with $10 and have it last. Which is fine. The label got to get there. But if I'm not mistaken, 50, I think 50 backed and supported his entire project financially himself. This was the Animal Ambition one? Whatever the last one was. I think that's what it was.
Starting point is 00:37:16 I think I want to say he did 35 or 45. I think that would be correct. Somewhere in that range. Seems legit And I think that Because he backed it himself And I don't know what 50 splits are And what he's doing But we know 50 to be a pretty
Starting point is 00:37:31 Pretty good businessman So when you back it yourself And you sell Let's give him 40 grand I could still be wrong Because I'm not fact checking We're just making shit up And I'm certain that
Starting point is 00:37:42 50 didn't go around Just fucking giving a shit load of money to a whole bunch of different i was gonna say like 50 knows how to move so i'm sure he moved that way um i'm sure he made a shit load of money on his last album but the guy was saying that he really shouldn't be talking about ross because and that's my thing with ross and i've had i've said this a lot about Ross. Ross's image is bigger than life itself. And when your image is that way, it's kind of hard to uphold and maintain it, I guess. Which fans never really cared about with him until probably about now.
Starting point is 00:38:21 So you got Jeremiah complaining. You got fuckingeremiah complaining you got fucking august complaining ross is not complaining publicly but i'm certainly saying something behind closed doors um i don't know if we all are just full of that much good grace where we can see our artists that we signed sell 250 and us come and sell 70 i don't know if we're all good, amazing people that way. Are you saying he was behind closed doors? He's complaining about the label? If he ain't, he should be.
Starting point is 00:38:51 Why? What did he give the label to work with? Yeah, what point do the artists take? What did Ross give the label to work with? Well, he was on house arrest, so I'm sure he had all the time in the fucking universe What do you mean what did he give them As far as to push
Starting point is 00:39:11 The album He gave them Sorry with Chris Brown Which I feel is being force fed down our throats And I'm not agreeing or disagreeing But I do feel like that song is being force fed down our throats And it's not the greatest I don't think that song is working I know it's not And I don't think that song is working. I know it's not.
Starting point is 00:39:26 And I don't think it's not working because Def Jam's not pushing it. I just don't think it's working. I love when I get to debate with Rory. Everyone says Rory won his last debate with me. But I just like to debate shit just to debate it. Oh, that's your cop out now? That's why you took the L? I'm not saying I took the L.
Starting point is 00:39:43 I'm saying I like to debate. So we're going to have one now. That's why you took the L? I'm not saying I took the L. I'm saying I like the debate. But we're going to have one now. Let's do it. I think that Ross is in a space where he should be able to sell more than 70,000 records with no record at all. That's what I think. I don't think that him and Jeezy should be as far apart in space as they are. Here's where I disagree with you. Ross sells a lifestyle that a majority of this country does not live
Starting point is 00:40:11 and just hopes to live one day. So when that starts to come down and your music isn't as good, a fan did not fall in love with Ross. Fell in love with his music. Let me finish. His music is now declining. Fell in love with his music. Let me finish. His music is now declining. Jeezy, for example. We fell in love with Jeezy. It was
Starting point is 00:40:31 a movement. We fell in love with his story coming from Atlanta as a drug dealer. We loved that. We loved the snowman t-shirts. We loved all that. I had one with some glitter on it. We loved the authenticity of it. We knew Jeezy was giving us something real that we could connect to. Whether we live that or not, we could connect to it because it was real.
Starting point is 00:40:50 Huh? He was being himself. I'm just here for the free water. Wait, what? Ross, we cannot connect to because he is a facade. He has made up this lifestyle. We love the music. We didn't love him.
Starting point is 00:41:04 Here's why J. Cole was successful. People love him, and he happens to make good music, too. So no matter when he goes out, his fans are coming because they love him. It's the same way with you and your fans. Yo, can I just put this out there? Ross does not have that. I want to just put this out there to the fans that think like Rory is saying.
Starting point is 00:41:21 Y'all don't know these niggas. I know. I'm saying people are connecting. They think they do. So when people say shit like, I love this person because of this person. Yeah, that's a technicality. I maybe have heard two Jeezy interviews in my life. Of course I'm under-exaggerating here. You're not a Jeezy fan.
Starting point is 00:41:41 And these kids love what they know from his music. What I'm saying, I don't think there's a million Jeezy fan thing And these kids love You like his music No no no What I'm saying I don't think there's A million Jeezy interviews I mean if I If I go looking Right this second I don't think But he talks through his music
Starting point is 00:41:51 He says People connect to him Joe the same way They connect to a A gangster film Because they love that Jeezy We
Starting point is 00:41:59 We believed it We saw him with All his thousand dreams I like I like that I like that wording better And I like that wording better and I like that wording better we believe we believed it and people can connect to a story of someone that is well way
Starting point is 00:42:14 on the bottom he came in uh BMF uh that whole shit and then what um snowman is believable it is yeah and then he came with a wait wait and he came with a classic album yes debut out the rip right boom after a huge mixtape run he wasn't nobody when that album came out he was somebody i know he was somebody but he still had a hard time breaking originally. And I want to talk to the people that remember when Jeezy came out. Because I remember Fab busting his ass to break Jeezy. I remember that. Well, in New York.
Starting point is 00:42:53 In New York. I was going to say that. Not away. In New York, Fab was very instrumental in people accepting Jeezy the same way Dipset was very instrumental in Wayne in New York. Yep. Because that's when New York mattered still. Not to say that it doesn't now.
Starting point is 00:43:12 But okay. I'll say it doesn't. Yeah, it doesn't. So he came to Classic Album. Yeah. So what, and we're saying, and why are we saying that this is different from Ross?
Starting point is 00:43:24 Because Ross came and pretended to be someone he was not. Yeah, and Jeezy, so what and we're saying and why are we saying that this is different from ross because ross came and pretended to be someone he was not yeah and jeezy we felt jeezy there was pain in his music as well which people go to right away he had amazing records ross is just selling this boss lifestyle that none of us can connect to it's fun to watch but when the music doesn't add up you lose as a fan because i was just a fan of his music. I wasn't a fan of him and who he was as a person. You're buying Jeezy's album because you're a fan of him as a person. When you have a cult following similar to yours, people that are in that cult are going to buy it no matter what.
Starting point is 00:44:01 Ross doesn't really have a cult following of fans that love everything about him. My cult following ain't buying my last album. They ain't buying it. Not all of them. I'm not rolling with that. And that's why people like Logic are selling more than Rick Ross because fans are attached to his story.
Starting point is 00:44:20 He's a genuine person. We are seeing him in his music. We feel like we know him. Ross, we know, is just a fucking a it's a minstrel show we we know it's he's just up there creating a movie and when the music doesn't add up there's nothing there to grasp to no movie to watch that all made sense I won't disagree with any of it. I will still stick to my original point. Even if you're correct, I still think that Ross should be able to sell
Starting point is 00:44:50 more than 60,000 units without a single. I think that he has done that much in his career. And I think he's made great enough music to acquire the fans necessary to sell 60,000 without one record at all. Okay. I mean, he did. He did 67.
Starting point is 00:45:12 Eh. Eh. You have grays in your beard. Good. I want grays. I want grays in my beard. Which leads me to now, so what do you do? So what do you do?
Starting point is 00:45:23 Like, how many majors are there? One. Like one now? I think it's one major label now. There's UMG and Warner. And they all own everybody, right? I don't know how it works anymore. So there's two major labels.
Starting point is 00:45:39 They're all the same fucking shit. So there's two major labels. What are you to do as an aspiring artist now like do it yourself indie feels successful it feels like even to be successful in a major you have to operate as an indie hell yeah absolutely like only look at them as additional like monetary backing at the at the end of the whole thing like you need to come up with the vision and execute and whatever and only go to them when you need a couple dollars in the pocket
Starting point is 00:46:06 and that's it. Like, that's all they can really provide at this point. But when they don't back it, then what? When you look to them for the additional backing
Starting point is 00:46:14 and then it does not transpire. Financially or otherwise? It doesn't occur. No, period. Just period. As in, whatever you need them to do and they don't do it. I'd like to know
Starting point is 00:46:23 when Ross's contract is up I think this was his last album Yeah I feel like it was Which by the way I'm ain't bad I think that's why he did the back to back albums Last year I haven't heard Black Market Like I said last week
Starting point is 00:46:39 I don't like to listen to music When it first comes out I mean it's a Ross album I'm going to listen to music when it first comes out. I mean, it's a Ross album. It's nothing that you haven't heard. I am going, I'm going to listen to it. In the intro, he talks about running a train
Starting point is 00:46:50 in middle school with John Legend harmonizing in the back. So it's a great fucking album. That's really great. Well, first of all, well, let me say, Ross and John Legend
Starting point is 00:46:59 are a pair that has yet to miss. Kind of like Ross and Nas. Oh my God. I could listen to a whole fucking double disc. Shouldn't Kind of like Ross and Nas. Oh my God. I could listen to a whole fucking double disc. Shouldn't it be a Ross and Nas album? Somebody tweeted that, I forgot who,
Starting point is 00:47:13 that Ross should executive produce the next Nas album. And I 100% agree with that. I want to hear a Ross Nas album. It's the key to success. What are the albums that we've been deprived of here? I'd like that we should have got.
Starting point is 00:47:26 We should have Ross and Nas. Well, that's able to happen because clearly they have chemistry and they make good music together. I'm still waiting on Mac and Brad. I'll be the old guy in the room and say it. Scarface and Beanie Siegel. I'm waiting. You have a purchase in me for whenever that occurs. That's an album that should occur.
Starting point is 00:47:49 What else is there? What other albums should occur? I'll speak for the younger generation then. Cole and Kendrick is one that the younger kids really want. Cole and Kendrick. I'm in. I'm in on that. That's another one. They don't really have many records though.
Starting point is 00:48:04 Were we really looking for the Drake and Future album? No. I wasn't. It wouldn't even cross my mind. We weren't looking for it at all. I think until we heard it was coming, it was like, oh, man. But all right. Shit is lit.
Starting point is 00:48:15 At one point, I would have loved Drake and the Weekend. I still would like that. I feel like Drake and Cole might make a decent album. I loved In the Morning. I like the Jodeci freestyle. I like In the Morning. I like the Jodeci freestyle. I like In the Morning. I feel like when they record together, I enjoy it. It's a very light-skinned situation.
Starting point is 00:48:30 I mean, just as long as Cole doesn't try to produce the whole album, I'm in for it. Yeah. I agree. Get some other beats. I would like to hear some of these albums. We didn't start with this Bevel shit. I know. We're going to put it in.
Starting point is 00:48:44 We'll plug it. All right. I'm not going to turn this whole shit into We didn't start with this Bevel shit. I know. We're going to put it in. We'll plug it. All right. I'm not going to turn this whole shit into fucking music seminar class. Fuck some fuck shit. How was your trip to Orlando? Was that where you went? Tampa? No.
Starting point is 00:48:53 I went to Tampa, and I drove to Orlando while I was there because Johnny landed in Orlando. And we had fun. It was very peaceful, very relaxing. Briefly. Hey, Jen. Briefly. It was very peaceful, very. Did you see Jen? Relaxing. Briefly. Hey, Jen. Briefly. Briefly, I did.
Starting point is 00:49:10 Who just goes to Tampa? That's actually the strip club capital. What was the flight? $35? Isn't that like the biggest strip club per blah, blah, blah block? It's Florida. No, Portland is the strip club capital of the world. I mean, of the nation, by the way. I mean, the country.
Starting point is 00:49:22 I thought Tampa had the most strip clubs. No, Portland, Oregon has the most strip clubs. Are you trolling or really? I'm Googling this. I guess, of the nation, by the way. I mean, the country. I thought Tampa had the most strip clubs. No, Portland, Oregon has the most strip clubs. Are you trolling or really? I'm Googling this. I guess there's nothing else to do. You can Google it. This I know. I was going to say, I wouldn't take away from your expertise. Portland, Oregon is the strip club capital of
Starting point is 00:49:37 America. If she's the stiletto expert, you would definitely be the strip club expert. Thanks a lot for that, bro. So, Tampa was real cool. We went and did like four escape the rooms of course out there um to y'all that don't know that are listening escape the room right there god damn it he was right joe will tell you their wings and mac and cheese menu for every one of them thanks rory thanks a lot uh we did escape the room out there escape the room uh you and a group of your friends you go in a room the room is themed they give you a bunch of clues you have
Starting point is 00:50:08 an hour to try and escape the room we have done about 18 of these you know he texts us today in like the largest group chat ever trying to get do another one tonight well i'm ready to do one tonight and well actually i'm doing it i'm doing it you guys are doing it uh by the way who was that 908 number on the chat johnny later uh. I have no idea. Talk about it later. Me, Johnny. A few of us, we're going to do Escape the Room tonight at 1130. Which is why I'm not going. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:33 What? I have other things to do. It's an hour. It's an hour long at 11 o'clock, 1130. You're done by 1230. An hour. You just had a nigga in your house yesterday that you didn't want to be there, and he was there for like five hours.
Starting point is 00:50:45 I read the whole fucking thing. thing Oh you were in my whole timeline Yeah I read it on your Twitter Jesus Christ You scoffed at something With your fucking friends That you do for an hour At 11.30 You know what
Starting point is 00:50:52 I don't know But this strange guy That's sitting here That won't leave I'm just gonna tweet how much He disgusts me all night long Was he on Twitter I don't even see that
Starting point is 00:50:58 No he doesn't have Twitter I don't understand Marissa Marissa fucking I don't get you And then he slept over. And then I tried to put him in my guest room. And then he came into my room. So then I waited until he fell asleep and I wiggled out.
Starting point is 00:51:11 And then I slept in my guest room. And then he woke up all alone this morning. I felt bad, but not that bad. Get a backbone. Get the fuck out of my house. I don't want to be mean. He's really nice. And he was watching the football game on his fucking computer.
Starting point is 00:51:24 And I was texting my best friend I'm like bro there's nothing to talk about Like this guy has the personality of a fucking rock Why is he in your house? Well because we had a great first date But I think I realized it was because the liquor was involved And that's where the issue was And he's like I'm going to stop by after work
Starting point is 00:51:36 Because he works nearby Wait time out Yes So you guys had a great first date Yes And the second date is at your house Yeah well he said he was going to stop by after work It wasn't even a date He's like I'm bringing pizza let's hang out for a little
Starting point is 00:51:47 bit i'm like all right cool and then he just never left and then i realized he was trying to stay there when is it okay to get to a bitch house first day real i don't go to girls within an hour i don't go to girls i don't go to girls houses i met him on the dating app well why i think sometimes it's better in my i'm not fucking in a girl's house in my hoeing days you can leave afterwards when she's at your house i heard johnny say that now it's i told i don't understand people that don't just speak their minds listen to this i know about i know about and if i'm just randomly guessing in my life i know at least 30 people that have got robbed and jacked or set up for a second but he's a let me finish or set up by going to random women's houses right i know at least
Starting point is 00:52:34 four people that have died this way right so i personally um learned long ago i'm not just going to some random bitch house that i don't know, especially to try to fuck because to fuck, you're catching me in my most vulnerable, I'm not on point, I'm not my peripheral, I'm not, I'm there to fuck.
Starting point is 00:52:54 That would be the worst time to die for me. Really. Honestly. I'm in there, I'm gazing, bitch, I like can-do and shit and here comes some nigga jumping out the fucking closet to stab me in my fucking back. Fucking cape man over here jumping out the fucking closet. While you're putting your'm in there. I'm gazing, bitch. I like can-do and shit. And here comes some nigga jumping out the fucking closet
Starting point is 00:53:05 to stab me in my fucking back. Fucking cape man over here jumping out the fucking closet. While you're putting your dick into her mouth. I'm just saying. Like a foot. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:14 Nah, he wasn't even trying to. It was the weirdest situation ever. So I'm not going to no bitch house. And seven times out of ten, my house is more comfortable than the bitch house. Well, not to poke holes in your theory here, but the woman coming to your house that could have possibly set you up now knows where you live. Right.
Starting point is 00:53:36 It's also true. Oh, I got guns all over my house. You're a shooter? I got guns all over my house. Everywhere in my house. I wish a nigga would in my house. I have guns everywhere in my house. Allegedly. Yeah. I mean, yes. That's house. I have guns everywhere in my house. Allegedly.
Starting point is 00:53:46 Yes. Allegedly. Something tells me you're not having a driver's license. I don't think you have a gun license. My license is good. Congratulations. Do you have a gun license?
Starting point is 00:54:02 I don't have a gun. I don't own a gun. But if a girl if you met one online Congrats, man. Thank you. Do you have a gun license? I don't have a gun. Right. I don't own a gun. I can't even spell it. But if a girl, if you met one online and she came over the house, somehow there'd be guns. I get it. Okay. That's good. Story time with Joe.
Starting point is 00:54:15 I'll be honest with you. Who are you? Denzel in training day with a shotgun under the bed? You're not that dope. Are you going to shoot? What if you can't get to your alleged gun? That doesn't exist. There is no way in God's green earth that I can't get to my alleged gun
Starting point is 00:54:30 from my bed. Or guns, plural, because apparently there's a thousand. All right, let's say we're at the other room. You know how when you come in my house, I've got iPhone chargers conveniently placed everywhere? Like, not just my bedroom? Is that a marking for where the gun is behind the wall?
Starting point is 00:54:44 No, I'm just saying knock on the wall and it comes out the side listen random but there are no guns if there was random story time because he's a rapper
Starting point is 00:54:52 and rappers have to have guns so we're painting a facade here random story time with Joe love stories only because we have our beautiful friends in the house
Starting point is 00:55:00 with all of these cameras who we don't know their names who keep telling me how to adjust I can't get my zone. We just know Cape Man. Even though she has a cape too. There's other people that aren't really doing anything.
Starting point is 00:55:11 They're directing. So many, many, many, many, many, many, many years ago. Right? Once upon a time, not long ago. Because my hoes might be listening. Right. Alleged. You don't have hoes, you don't have guns. I don't. Alleged. Never want to give the hoes
Starting point is 00:55:25 too much information. You don't have guns. I don't have hoes or guns. So many years ago, right? There was a young lady. Beautiful lady. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. She shall remain anonymous
Starting point is 00:55:40 because you guys may know who she is, right? Beautiful though. Like, oh man. Can we have a hint like the way madi does no you can't get a hint like madi um we're really editing that part later no we're not um no we're not yep listen so it was this girl right so she was in new york and she hit me and damn i can't even say that I might give too much. She hit me and she's like, yo, I'm in New York. I wasn't supposed to be here. What's good? What are you doing tonight? And me like a fucking idiot. I start telling her what I'm doing with my name. Well, I'm going to feed my dogs.
Starting point is 00:56:18 Then I'm going to go to the supermarket and make some burgers later. Like all of this, because I don't know when a girl trying to give me some pussy. She has to really spell it out for me. So she said why don't you come by to my hotel afterward and i said hmm all right i will i will come by your hotel afterward oh i have a great story too go on i'm sorry so she i'd say text me where the hotel is and she texts me the address and i thought it was a little odd that I had Never are you kicking me to say something? No, I'm sorry Oh, I think you're telling me to adjust so I'm trying to stay in the lens with me
Starting point is 00:56:54 All right, so right when this girl text me to hotel, right? I had I thought it was a little odd red flag number one that I had never heard of this hotel 35 years I've never heard of this hotel, right? So so red flag number one this is what happens when you ignore red flags cool we ignore it i get to the hotel never seen this fucking piece of shit hotel before in my entire life but it's cool this woman is beautiful i was at the wm tall and luxurious looking. And I'm sure she has amazing vagina. But I just couldn't see why someone with amazing vagina would be in this hotel. I couldn't figure it out. She's not selling it and she's working an honest living.
Starting point is 00:57:35 So I get up. Honest living. She had sex with Joe. Come on. That's true. Oh, that's not the point you're making. I'm sorry. Anyway, so I get to this hotel. There's nowhere to park. There's true. Oh, that's not the point you're making. I'm sorry. Fuck you. Anyway, so I get to this hotel.
Starting point is 00:57:47 There's nowhere to park. There's no valet. I hate when there's no valet. There's no valet. And now I'm driving all around. How does a hotel not have a valet? I don't understand. In New York City.
Starting point is 00:57:59 Because you went to the trash one. But this bitch is bad and she's beautiful. So what did I do at fucking whatever time it was at night? I went and circled around Manhattan for fucking five hours to find a fucking park, right?
Starting point is 00:58:11 Did you have a bottle of Merlot? No, I didn't have any Merlot. I'm driving around, I found a park, this fucking badass pretty bitch texted me,
Starting point is 00:58:17 Danny, where are you? Harry, I'm coming, baby. I'm coming right there. I'll be there in two seconds. I got a parking place. And I hope you got somewhere I could park when I get there. You want to know what? I think I prefer J. Cole's sexual voices than yours.
Starting point is 00:58:32 You sound like Ken Kniff. I'm trying to give an accurate depiction of my story. He's like, Zaddy, I'm getting really tired. Why aren't you going to come? I'm like, oh, you better believe I'm going to come. Anyway, so I get to the hotel. I'm trying to tell a story. I get to the hotel, and I walk in, and I need a key to get upstairs.
Starting point is 00:58:54 At this place? At this place with no valet. I'm like, really, front door desk nigga? So the guy gives me a key. I go upstairs. I walk into the room. So the guy gives me a key. I go upstairs.
Starting point is 00:59:04 I walk into the room. And this is where things begin to get a bit awkward. I walk into the room, and it was only enough room for the door to open in the room. It was a very tiny room. And I walk in immediately facing a bathroom and a very narrow wall that lasted for about a foot. And then it was a bed. Wow. And that was the room. Fancy.
Starting point is 00:59:32 The bed was on a floor. Of course it was. No. Were you in Peter Gunn's apartment? The bed. Not of course it was. Not the bed frame was on the floor. The bed.
Starting point is 00:59:43 You were going to see Tara. The mattress. Was this when you were fucking Samaya? That's why you want to say her name. Allegedly. Never had sex with Samaya Reese. That was alleged. The bed is on a fucking floor in a hotel room in a hotel that don't have a valet in New York fucking
Starting point is 01:00:05 city. Can you give me this cross street? Was this this week? And this bad bitch is there. It's like right by Marquis, I think. You fucking up. It is right by Marquis because I parked by Marquis. Why is this bad bitch in this fucking tiny ass room with the fucking mattress
Starting point is 01:00:21 on the floor? This is where you gotta save her, Joe. This is where you come in. Take his cape. So, I sit down, and there's like a four-inch TV on the wall, but it's a bit staticky.
Starting point is 01:00:39 I think there was a game on at this time or some shit. I'm like, uh, ma. Is that the TV? And she's like, oh, yeah. I'm like, you don't say anything wrong with this room at all, huh? All your bitches sound the same. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:51 Well, that's my impression. That's my point. In my head, I'm like, this bitch sees nothing wrong with inviting me to this room. I gotta show her a better room. What are you, a classy hoe? You can't just fuck her on the floor?
Starting point is 01:01:01 No, I wasn't even there to fuck. I was there to see if I wanted to fuck And that room didn't make me want to fuck So Having to think quickly On your toes I said Darn it
Starting point is 01:01:14 Gotta make a run man My mom man My mom's better I forgot what fucking bullshit I told her But I said You know what I'll be back I'll be back Are I'll be back.
Starting point is 01:01:25 Are you going to be up? Do you think she's still in the hotel? She's still waiting. Do you have to leave, daddy? Yeah, man. I got to go, man. So I get out of there, and I never felt more fucking joy to be away from a beautiful goddess. Because that's how this bitch looks,
Starting point is 01:01:48 like a beautiful fucking goddess. So I leave there, I go on in my night, I go fuck some hoes, whatever, and like a man, because I'm a man, a few hours later.
Starting point is 01:01:56 You went back? I went back. Oh my God, I thought. I went back because I'm a man with a penis and I was there for a fucking job and if I couldn't do it the first time and dog stop looking at me double back a second time and really show this all right let's change the voice
Starting point is 01:02:12 fucking bosses we're gonna let her know daddy's back baby fucking burn your knees on the floor so so I go back and now it's pitch black all the lights are out she She's ready to go. So now I'm bumping into shit because I'm clumsy.
Starting point is 01:02:28 And then she takes my hand and she guides me to the floor. I mean to the bed. She guides me to the floor bed or the air mattress or whatever the fuck it was in this hotel, right? And she takes my clothes off. Okay. I think we're going too far now. Well, where did you think this story was going? I don't know, but I don't think I want to know anymore. You think my clothes would be I think we're going too far now Well Where did you think This story was going
Starting point is 01:02:46 I don't know But I don't think I want to know anymore Don't you think My clothes would be on Yeah okay So then you fucked And
Starting point is 01:02:50 No listen Listen You're touching me And you're telling me About nakedness So she takes my Oh be glad I'm touching you
Starting point is 01:02:56 So she takes my clothes off She takes her clothes off Right And then she begins To do her fucking Girly shit all over me That she's doing Right
Starting point is 01:03:03 But I'm a fucking Anal OCD having Virgo in my head. So this bitch is on top of me. She's kissing all over me. She's looking at me, placing all this shit. And she's tall. So it's like, it felt like a tarantula was on top of me. I felt like Dr. Octopus. I felt trapped.
Starting point is 01:03:19 That bitch was Gary Payton. Why is this fucking six foot seven bitch? Bitch had you in the glove? I'm already in this tiny ass room. Why does she have her fucking spider leg? Samaya wasn't that tall. I'm telling you, this bitch was like tall. Like, if this bitch put her arms and legs from around you,
Starting point is 01:03:37 you will have to try to jiggle to fucking get from underneath this hoe. But anyway, so she's on top of me. You're fucking up the fancy table. All I can think in my head is, well jesus this bitch is tall and two this is so not the room to have sex like and i don't think i understand this is one of the women that you would want to make an impression on if you were to fuck like you would wanna waste in my good Cialis wasting my fucking good Viagra on his fucking hoe so anyway the lights around you don't tell me she's doing whatever she's doing she fucking sits on top of it and
Starting point is 01:04:17 instantly you come I said in my head I said, why am I here right now? And why am I fucking this girl in this tiny fucking room? It was role play. You just weren't into it. So now I say, you know what? I'm going to give it a shot. My dick is like on a fucking six as far as hardness goes. Like medium.
Starting point is 01:04:41 Yeah, it's a little wobbly. It's a little floppy disk. It's a little floppy disk. I don't care if y if you're just me fuck all of you Kate man it's a little floppy disk but we get it in there this is getting graphic and now because I thought it was me at first but then once you floppy what listen fellas fellas know once you get in as your floppy do what if you get in floppy this oh now you're the incredible oh it's on now bitch i was gonna grow inside of you and you're gonna feel it right so that happened like my dick was rock hard bad bitch insider tiny room tarantula dr octopus woman on top of me right
Starting point is 01:05:16 it might have been the worst pussy i've felt in my entire life like this vagina was used. It had no walls. This vagina has traveled. It was like throwing a hot dog down a hallway. Worse. Worse. Throwing a pencil down an airplane hangar. So I don't want to be the awkward guy to say, so I don't want to be the awkward guy to say,
Starting point is 01:05:44 bitch, this vagina is not it. Well, now it matches the room. Yeah, she just wanted to match the aesthetic. If I have to be perfectly honest, I don't even remember how this sex ended. But when it ended, I tried to leave.
Starting point is 01:06:00 Did you do fake cum? I don't think I came. Pulled out. I couldn't have came. I have I don't think I came. Pulled out. I couldn't have came. I have to ask her if I came. I don't think I came. Oh, you're still in contact with her. No, but I could be.
Starting point is 01:06:12 I don't think I came. And I spent the night. Oh, my God. You were dedicated to this situation. You live in New Jersey. I want to give you the same speech you gave Maddie. You judged me and my shit was a lot nicer. I was in a beautiful hotel.
Starting point is 01:06:27 I had four rooms in that one room thing. There was like four bathrooms in that shit. I was ashamed. I didn't know if I was... I didn't know who I could tell. I thought no one would believe me. Did you cuddle with her? No, I didn't.
Starting point is 01:06:43 That's what I was thinking. Was it a twin bed? No, I didn't fucking cuddle. I'm a me Did you cuddle with her? No I didn't That's what I was thinking Was it a twin med? No I didn't fucking cuddle I'm a real nigga You know he cuddled You cuddled I didn't cuddle You cuddled I don't believe you
Starting point is 01:06:51 She's too tall to cuddle What the fuck am I Lay on her fucking stomach? Yeah Cuddling with a tall bitch Fuck out of here tall bitch So anyway I hate cuddling with random people
Starting point is 01:06:59 But I'm a morning person So spending the night If you go to bed at 3 I'm up by 6 I'm getting dressed Fucking The sun was coming up I was out of there
Starting point is 01:07:06 That bitch was asleep While I was Did they have a Continental breakfast Downstairs Did you pick up a bagel No I did get a coffee I was really pissed
Starting point is 01:07:17 Our hotel in Oakland Didn't have a I did get a coffee But Damn I don't remember How that story even came up now I was wondering The whole time
Starting point is 01:07:24 It was getting set up It was what Getting set up And going to people's houses But, damn, I don't remember how that story even came up now. I was wondering the whole time. It was getting set up. It was what? Getting set up. Oh, so all I could think when I left there was, see, this is exactly why I don't fuck bitches in their domain. Yeah, because bitches don't know what the fuck they're doing. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:44 I don't like to have people in my house either, though, because I realize how boring my house is with no cable and no food and nothing to do at all. Well, you don't like people and you don't have cable, so you shouldn't have company. Yeah, I never do. Yo, some people shouldn't have company. I don't like company. You shouldn't have company. And you should be aware.
Starting point is 01:07:58 If you're going to have company, your house should be set up for company. Yeah. And if you're there, it's not set up for. I have Netflix, so I have that going for me. Good for you. Yeah, but I mean, that could be something to do with company. But I don't like company. And if you're there, it's not set up for... I have Netflix, so I have that going for me. Good for you. Yeah, but I mean, that could be something to do with company.
Starting point is 01:08:08 But I don't like company. I don't like people touching my shit. I don't like them moving my pictures. Netflix and mouth. Netflix and mouth. What?
Starting point is 01:08:15 She got Netflix and no cable. What do you think she's doing over there? She don't watch movies or nothing. I don't have guests at my house, period. Except for last night.
Starting point is 01:08:23 Yeah, well, that didn't count. A J. Cole line comes to mind. I have a story that I've never told a soul in my life, so I'm going to tell it on a podcast that 50,000 people listen to. No, but wait, should we save it for next week? Like, should we start? No, it's kind of like yours.
Starting point is 01:08:38 Should we start a segment, like story time with us? Ooh, I have so many. Yeah, we can, but I'll tell this one. I have other stories. All right, let's hear it. All right, I was at the label That we previously spoke about I was maybe 20 years old
Starting point is 01:08:48 This was a long long long Long long time ago Alright so that was this year Alright Cause Rory's like 14 So So now he went A potential artist
Starting point is 01:08:57 That they wanted to sign He was somewhat well known Came in for a meeting He brought a whole group Of people with him Cause he was from the land As Madi would put it Oh bitch I'm from 216.
Starting point is 01:09:06 Thanks, Melissa. No problem. So my boss at the time says, hey, can you take them out? Because they were all my age. And I was like, I'm not even 21, but I know a bar that I can get all them into. So it's clearly not Ross because he's the boss. And he's also not from Cleveland, so there's that. So we get to the bar.
Starting point is 01:09:26 It's a large group. There's a few women there, so I'm talking to everybody trying to be a responsible employee. One of the girls is cute. I thought she was with the rapper, but then I realized she wasn't when she started giving me some rhythm. We're going back and forth at the bar. I'm 20
Starting point is 01:09:42 years old, so I think what I'm saying is smooth. I'm sure it wasn't. Cheating on your girlfriend at the time, I'm sure. I was the bar. I'm 20 years old, so I think what I'm saying is smooth. I'm sure it wasn't. Cheating on your girlfriend at the time, I'm sure. I was not in a relationship at 20 years old. Oh. Kind of like you're not in one now. Yeah, I'm never in a relationship. Quotation.
Starting point is 01:09:52 Single as a dollar bill. You got it, bro. So fast forward, they want to leave because they have to get up and do shit in the morning. She says, oh, let me get your number. I'll be here for the next few days. I feel like I like stories better when the other people get like a voice. Like we need to do a voice for her. I don't like your voice as her voice.
Starting point is 01:10:10 Okay. So they leave. I stay at the bar because I had some other friends. No, he doesn't give a fuck about what you want. So what did the girl say? I'll do it myself. Pardon?
Starting point is 01:10:19 What did the girl say just now in that story? She said, let me get your number. I'll be here for a few more days. Let me get your number. I'll be here for a few more days. Hey me get your number. I'll be here for a few more days. Hey, white zaddy. Hey, white boy zaddy. Why don't you do yourself a favor?
Starting point is 01:10:31 Do yourself a favor and slide me those digits. And you were 20, so you... I just came. 201 973 Alright, so go ahead. So you were mad thirsty. Or 908-732. What up?
Starting point is 01:10:48 You were saying? Yeah. All right. So then she texts me immediately and says, here's the address to my hotel if you're doing anything later. Oh, yeah. No, you do it. Hey, daddy.
Starting point is 01:11:03 Here's the address To my hotel It was a text message I don't like her voice I don't like your voice It sounds like me Exactly So Me being 20
Starting point is 01:11:13 Hey white boy I met earlier If you wanna come Get fucked by a real nigga You wanna get fucked With a File 1-900 No no
Starting point is 01:11:21 Over the bitch Wait wait wait You wait, wait. You sound just like that. Hey, white boy from earlier. If you want to fuck with a real bitch. That's one. All right, so go ahead. And you're like, oh, okay.
Starting point is 01:11:33 I'll be there tonight. All right. Oh, my God. We have so much in common. So I take the train there like lame. I don't even cab it. Like the loser you are. Because I'm 20.
Starting point is 01:11:42 And you have like a condom in your pocket and like lube it. No, you have a condom on. He put the condom are. Because I'm 20. You have like a condom in your pocket and like lose it. No, you have a condom on. You put the condom on. Alright, I'll be right there. So you put the condom on soft and now you're headed on the train over there with a condom on your dick. You got it. Alright, what else? So I get to the lobby and I say,
Starting point is 01:11:58 Boy, this thing is tight. It's because I have a 12 inch dick. It's like a footage of your man Alright, alright Everyone relax Come on man You keep interrupting me I'm on the edge of my seat
Starting point is 01:12:12 I get to the lobby I say yo No rush But I'm downstairs You text that Okay Okay And she said no rush
Starting point is 01:12:20 Alright She took that Pretty literally Alright so Two hours later Me now At 25 would realize It was a bit fishy That it took her like 20 minutes She took that pretty literally. All right, so two hours later. Me now at 25 would realize it was a bit fishy that it took her like 20 minutes to come down. But I was like, oh, maybe she getting ready.
Starting point is 01:12:37 Maybe she had to shave her box, something, lotion up, maybe light some candles because I'm a piece. So we go up. It's a nice hotel. There's a bed frame. Lucky you. Some walking room upon entering. There's a bed frame. Lucky you. Some walking room upon entering. So she goes into the bathroom. It was like straight out of a fucking movie.
Starting point is 01:12:52 Slips into something more comfortable. And then comes to the door frame. All right, so she took her Timbs off. She took her Timbs off and put on what, some Uggs? Some sliders. No, some Nike sliders. So she gets right to it Starts taking my pants off And starts performing fellatio
Starting point is 01:13:09 Why are we getting so much graphics from you two today? I thought that was a clinical term actually It is but Fellatio? Yeah Just cause you say it every single hour and day What I don't say fellatio every day So this is where it goes left
Starting point is 01:13:24 She's giving me head And puts a gun to your face Give it up white boy They fellatio every day. So, this is where it goes left. She's giving me head. And puts a gun to your face. And I... Give it up, white boy! You just got jacked, Paul! Can I at least get my nut? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, this is great. Wait, this is where it goes left.
Starting point is 01:13:42 She's taking my stick. And she's just gonna... Wait, wait, wait. Give up on the fucking good, you bitch-ass nigga! Don't go to strangers. This is weird. Ghost laugh. This is eating my dick. This is gonna be my ass. Wait, wait. Hey, you motherfucking good, you bitch ass nigga. Don't go to strangers. Go to town, bro. Run, tell that.
Starting point is 01:13:52 You really sewed up, you fucking bitch ass nigga. You're dead now, nigga. All right. All right, got it. So let's remember the scenario here. She's with a rapper, all his goon friends, and like two bitches. I didn't add this up in my fucking head.
Starting point is 01:14:10 I see the bathroom door opening. Oh, it's lit. Oh man, she had to pee? No, she was still sucking my dick. Oh, she had to pee while she was sucking his dick. Kinky.
Starting point is 01:14:26 Walk with me. I just gotta sit on the toilet. You can just stand right in front of me. I got it. Alright, the bathroom door's opening.
Starting point is 01:14:34 We should do like sound effects in the background. So you do the creak, I'll do like the noise. No, I'm the voice person.
Starting point is 01:14:39 You be the dog. Okay, wait. So wait. The sound. Okay, I can do all the sounds at the same time. I don't want to hear
Starting point is 01:14:44 it. Wait, just that do all the sounds at the same time. I don't want to hear it. Wait. Just that fast. You're fired from being the sound person. Wait, bitch. I said to do a door opening, and you started sucking air dick. Why is Madi sucking air dick for the door opening? Madi.
Starting point is 01:15:01 I want to paint the perfect picture. Oh, my. That wasn't the perfect picture. Oh, my God. You're fired. Don't want to make this. I want to paint the perfect picture. Oh my, that wasn't the perfect picture. Oh my God. You're fine. Don't do any more sound. I'm not prepared anymore. Just go ahead,
Starting point is 01:15:10 I'm not ready. Just go ahead. She's lost her job. So, I immediately look. Oh wait, I'll be the sound in the voice. Okay.
Starting point is 01:15:18 That's a door opening? Yes! Oh my God. No, that was me about to bust a nut. Why do you even know how a door opening sounds? Why?
Starting point is 01:15:27 I have doors. Just Uber doors. All right, go ahead. And out comes a gentleman holding an iPad like he's filming. Oh, come on, Ross. Oh, now you're in a phone. Really? Really?
Starting point is 01:15:41 So I immediately push the bitch's head off of me like you're real and she goes no no no no no and the guy's like no no no chill chill are you filming a porn this is my wife
Starting point is 01:15:52 chill chill chill you stream said this is my wife we do this all the time oh thanks for the heads up bro I'm sitting here with my pants and my ankles
Starting point is 01:16:03 my dick is hard and I'm staring at an iPad that her husband is holding. He was hiding in the bathroom the whole time. Why is your dick still hard? I mean, you know, I popped a Cialis for him. He's 20. Yeah, I'm 20. And getting his dick sucked.
Starting point is 01:16:18 See, you fucking young people are idiots. This guy's getting his dick sucked in a hotel. The door, a bathroom door opened, and he got guns pointed at him with his dick hard. Oh my God. What's going on in this room? Let me get a nut first. All right, so you didn't nut yet. No.
Starting point is 01:16:34 And what do you do at this point? They're trying to calm me down and explain to me that their husband and wife, and they do this all the time. He's like, no, no, no, you can fuck her. I said, give me that fucking iPad. and wife and they do this all the time. He's like, no, no, no, you can fuck her. I said, give me that fucking iPad. I delete the photo, or not the photo, the video on there and run. Not walk,
Starting point is 01:16:50 run the fuck out of that. Are your pants at your ankles? Did you pull them up? Yes, I pulled them up at this point. Okay, now, this is very important here since we are doing a podcast. Wife and husband that are in this story, if you are listening, I would love to speak to you.
Starting point is 01:17:05 I would love if we to you. I would love if we could find these people so I could- I think it's going to be as easy as Delta. And wait a minute. See, it's y'all four. Y'all wasn't dealing
Starting point is 01:17:15 with no real ass nigga. Y'all dealing with Rory. I'm into some freaky shit too. Hey, you can watch me. I'll fuck your wife. I will. I mean, it's cool, but like give me the fucking heads up.
Starting point is 01:17:26 Like, before you- If they would have like brought this up at the bar and like gave me a backstory and not creeped out of the bathroom when I had my dick out of a strange man, I don't know if I'm going to be as calm and cool as you are right now. I'm going to get the fuck out of there. Because there could be three other gentlemen in there. Oh, then it's super lit. Then it's a party.
Starting point is 01:17:47 Come out with booms and lighting and shit. You know what? If there's anybody else in that bathroom, better come out. Because I'm about to come and be out. You're about to miss the whole show. Get the good angles, bro. I've never told that story to a soul. What?
Starting point is 01:18:01 That's a great story. I would have told someone immediately as I left. I would have called like six people. That's because you tell everything. But wait now. Damn as I left. I would have called like six people. That's because you tell everything. But wait now. Damn, I just had something to ask this guy.
Starting point is 01:18:09 So wait, after that story, you still go to bitches' houses to fuck? Yeah, ones that I know. How do you know them? Oh, please. Yeah, the word no. It's all relative.
Starting point is 01:18:21 Yeah, come on with no. Yeah, I know. I've followed them for years. I go to your house and you have guns. I don't have any guns. It's all relative Yeah come on with no Yeah I know I followed him for years I go to your house And you have guns So I don't have any guns
Starting point is 01:18:27 Austin where we at on time You know what I gotta beep this I gotta go Oh well I will tell you Why I think I did Get some pussy from his wife that night Well not pussy
Starting point is 01:18:41 Some head Cause you real? Cause they knew One day I was gonna shave with Bevel Oh pussy from his wife that night. Well, not pussy, some head. Because you real? Because they knew one day I was going to shave with Bevel. Oh! I think that they knew that as well. Yep. And since you bring it up,
Starting point is 01:18:55 I hate when this happens. Bevel! I was shaving my pews with Bevel. Bevel, the first and only shaving system for men with coarse, curly hair or sensitive skin, clinically proven to reduce and prevent razor bumps,
Starting point is 01:19:09 discoloration, and irritation. Let me be the first to say, if you got razor bumps, discoloration, and irritation, then you should see a doctor. But also get Bevel. And get Bevel. There's a reason
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Starting point is 01:19:36 Multi-blade razors only cause more irritation To razor bumps while hair removal creams Are messy And can leave bumps The Bevel razor uses a single blade Which cuts hair above the skin not beneath so you can avoid painful and grown hairs there you have it uh go to get bevel.com g-e-t-b-e-v-e-l.com use the code word joe if you're looking for that last minute holiday gift. It's perfect for gentlemen and ladies.
Starting point is 01:20:05 Yep. And use the code word Rory if you want Hudson busting out of the bathroom while you're getting your dick sucked. That's good to know. Makes sense.
Starting point is 01:20:16 Good times. It was. Football. Let's end with some football. Football. The Giants won. The Giants won last night. The Giants won last night.
Starting point is 01:20:24 The Giants really fucking pissed me off. They're supposed to have this division in the bag. They're supposed to clean this up ages ago, but of course they didn't because, you guessed it, they're the Giants. So they beat the Dolphins yesterday. You don't get a fucking cookie from me
Starting point is 01:20:38 for beating the Dolphins. The Dolphins suck ass. But Eli looked great. He only missed like four passes. Odell is Odell. It might be time to start inserting him into the top five wide receiver conversation. It might be. I bet he does do a lot of inserting.
Starting point is 01:20:52 Hello. I mean, I think on a scale of one to ten, that was like a four funny. I don't know. Yeah, I don't think it was as funny as Joe Wiggins. That's all the talk Because everybody keeps calling Odell gay Someone put on Twitter The caption was Shorty had on
Starting point is 01:21:17 They showed an apple They showed a picture of Odell Beckham And then they showed A picture of jeans So she was wearing apple bottom jeans. They showed a picture of Odell Beckham and then they showed a picture of jeans. She was wearing apple bottom jeans. He's a bottom. That's way funnier than the joke I just made. Gay.
Starting point is 01:21:33 He's a gay bottom. I'd have to see it. See it myself. I don't think Odell's gay. I don't either. Why is this a topic every time? You're gay now. You sent us that stupid ass meme in the group chat today. Adele Beckham Jr. Adele.
Starting point is 01:21:49 With Odell's hair and beats head full. But anyway, Odell had a great game. Fucking Eli had a great game. They have the Carolina Panthers next week. Philly, Washington, and the Giants are tied at 6-7. And everyone has a better record in the division than the Giants. If the Giants are going to do something, they need to beat Carolina this week. And let me just make a prediction here.
Starting point is 01:22:17 I'm going out on a limb. Yep, I'm going to go out on a limb. I'm comfortable with it. Greg Olsen is hurt. And they got some more niggas banged up over there. And I don't know if Carolina needs these last three games. No. I got them losing to the Giants this week.
Starting point is 01:22:35 I don't think that's far-fetched. I got them losing to the Giants. This is that type of season where the Giants end up winning the Super Bowl with a bullshit record. Yeah, the Giants who should have beat the undefeated Patriots. I think we get our poetic justice this week, and we beat the Carolina Panthers. They have to win that game if they want to win the division.
Starting point is 01:22:54 And a lot of people are getting hurt out there, but FanDuel, you can play. I had Eli last week, so I did. Just for all the haters out there on FanDuel. I did really, really, really well the haters Out there on FanDuel I did really Still strong Really well
Starting point is 01:23:06 Yeah yeah FanDuel Fuck Uncle Sam Still going strong I don't pay my taxes either Oh my god I do and it just sucks Alright FanDuel Is the one week
Starting point is 01:23:14 Fantasy You guys are fucking Influenced FanDuel is the leader In one week fantasy football With more winners And more payouts Than any other site
Starting point is 01:23:22 They're paying out Over 75 million dollars A week this football season. League started just $1 and anyone can play. Untext. Would you stop, man? Why don't you grow up one day? Go to Fandu.com slash button to join my private league.
Starting point is 01:23:38 It's $5 to join. First place wins $200. Top 40 teams all win cash. Special offer for new users. For every dollar you deposit, Fandu will match you with up to $200 that gets earned as you play. That's a bonus of up to $200. Offer is only good for the first 50 people that sign up for my league, so hurry up and
Starting point is 01:23:55 get there because the spots fill up fast. I've won a decent amount of money from FanDuel this year, so I can't complain. Yeah, I can't. I don't think you said the name of your league. Yeah. Call word B-U-D-D-E-N. Yeah, button. FanDuel don't think he said the name of your league. Yeah, it did. B-U-D-D-E-N. Yeah, button.
Starting point is 01:24:06 Fanduel.com, first slash button. Okay. B-U-D-D-E-N. Just double, triple check. Still some weeks left. Come play with us, Paul. Yeah, we got a couple of weeks left until we get to the playoffs. I want to say go Giants.
Starting point is 01:24:17 I want to say go Knicks, even though I'm petitioning for Derek Fisher to lose his job. Yeah. I want him out of here. I'm done. I've seen enough. I've had it. I can't figure out his substitutions. He's got to go. I don't know out his substitutions. He's got to go.
Starting point is 01:24:25 I don't know what he's doing. He's got one minute somebody's in the doghouse. Next minute, they're the first person off the bench. We can't start a game to save our lives. Don't get me started, Knicks. I'll talk about the Knicks later. And yeah, I think that's it. I think we have it.
Starting point is 01:24:39 I want to thank our lovely in-studio audience. Round of applause for them. That's from you guys. Round of applause for them, the in-studio audience. I mean, them. That's from you guys round of applause for them They're in studio. I mean they have all these cameras. I thought maybe they had sound bites that we could Open his cape and have a fucking applause button. I wouldn't even studio audience in the fucking Cape This is wonderful. I want to thank our great and amazing engineer Austin in there We never thank Austin so you it's good to take all of them right L and ant for putting all these cameras in front of our
Starting point is 01:25:03 face and it's great to thank Alton right L and Ant For putting all these cameras In front of our face Thank you Ant Ant is great Who put all these cameras In front of our face Ant Where's Ant Oh he's in there Hey And we're wrapped
Starting point is 01:25:13 Look at these people They're so happy That they get to Fucking leave I know First smile Filming people talking So this was great
Starting point is 01:25:19 I will see you Beautiful people Next week Same time Same place On this podcast later i'm blowing this joint i don't have anything but you are no i'm not blowing this hey yo that was nasty it's lit uh one

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