The Joe Budden Podcast - I'll Name This Podcast Later Episode 44
Episode Date: December 16, 2015While being bombarded with camera's and lights, the trio sits down to discuss the Mount Rushmore of Hoes, Love & Hip Hop, independent vs label, album flops, and few .. "random" stories!...
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We're rolling.
All right!
And we are live.
I will name this podcast later.
Episode number 44, I'm assuming.
Yes.
Yeah.
Somewhere around there.
I guess every weekend.
I'm right.
We start the same way.
Thanks, Marissa.
I'm your host, Joe Budden.
To the left of me is my unbeautiful co-host, Madi the Body.
Thank you.
And to the right of me, I shocked all of you with another unbeautiful co-host, Michael Roars.
How you doing, bro?
You've judged me.
If you guys are listening, we're sitting in different places.
I'm gay.
You decided to come out for 44 weeks?
I'm coming out.
It's my coming out party.
Don't make a mockery of that.
It's not funny.
Me?
Oh, my God.
The best man from a transgender wedding?
Yo, I watched it.
I had cable the other day.
I was at a hotel and I got to see the fucking full episode.
Because Marissa doesn't have cable, everyone out there.
So she was in a hotel.
Wonder what she was doing there.
Where was this hotel at?
It was in New York.
So let me understand.
Slow down.
Slow down.
So we live in Jersey City.
Yes, yes, yes.
Which is in close proximity to the Holland Tunnel.
It is very close proximity.
Was the path train not running?
I drive to the city.
My car was with me.
Why'd you stay?
Why'd you need a hotel?
I bet you didn't book the hotel.
Whose hotel was it?
It wasn't mine.
I went on a date because the one that you said curved me in LA that didn't curve me because we never had plans to begin with.
So the guy that curved you? He came to New York for some stuff. He was with his girl in LA you said curved me in L.A. that didn't curve me because we never had plans to begin with. So the guy that curved you?
He came to New York for some stuff.
He was with his girl in L.A.
And curved me.
Wait, he was out here.
Wait, I want to hear this story.
This is great.
So he came out to New York.
And I wasn't going to go because I was like.
Wait, wait, wait.
Hold up.
Was he in New York working?
Yes, he was working.
So he wasn't here to see you.
Yeah, well.
Okay, so he was here for work.
Yeah, and me.
What does he do for a living?
Things that aren't your business. All right, so continue with the whole story here. No, there mean a Jace. Okay, so he was here for work. Yeah, and me. A Jace. What does he do for a living? Things that aren't your business.
All right, so continue with the whole story here.
No, there's no whole story.
He came and he was like, oh, babe, I'm in New York.
I want to see you, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And I really wasn't going to go because I'm really like about, you know,
only putting effort into things of substance these days.
And, you know, how can it be much if he's in L.A. and I'm in New York and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
So then he convinced me after like a thousand calls and FaceTimes and whatever so I went over
there and we had like the cutest night ever like we went and we smoked hookah
and then we came back and then we watched couples therapy and we like made
out like teenagers I did not tell her to say that no we really did watch it and
because we were talking about you and that's what I text you and ask you how
tall you were because we were like debating how tall you were and I know
it was the gayest conversation ever.
And it was just really cute.
Well, Joe's gay now, so that might be...
That's cool.
Maybe he was inquiring.
And then...
Shut up, Rory.
His flight was...
Well, his car service was leaving for his flight
at 4.15 a.m.
And his father, who also traveled with him...
Hey, hey, hey, sir.
Good line, sir.
No, no, no, no, no.
Hey, can I finish?
Let me get my joke off.
Got my car service.
Damn, my yo.
Yo, it was great to see you. No, that's not how it works. Yo, but I finish? Let me get my joke off. Got my car serviced. Damn, my yo. Yo, it was great to see you.
No, that's not how it works.
Yo, but I got to get running.
Fuck you guys.
Anyway, so I helped him pack, and then his father-
The story is too long.
All right, let's get to the important part of your story.
Did you have a ho-bag with you?
A ho-bag?
A ho-bag.
Oh.
Do you not know what a ho-bag is?
No, but a guy that came over to my house yesterday, he had a ho bag with him.
Can I say that I, and I didn't plan to talk about this at all, so we're not going to talk about it,
but I do respect women who have a ho bag.
I just carry a toothbrush.
No, you don't know how to ho bag.
They're much more tolerable in the morning when they have a ho bag.
Right?
Way better.
Morning goes much smoother.
It just makes things a lot smoother for the guy if she has a whole bag she's got her own toothbrush her own
toothpaste she changed her panties she's got her own fucking whatever she's gonna sleep in she's
got to change her clothes she's got another change of clothes makeup i was gonna say real
hoes bring baby wipes baby wipes for her ass, fresh. I don't know. Hairbrush. She's got fucking detergent.
This bitch got everything in the fucking...
Deodorant.
Yeah, exactly.
Like, if you're going to hold, know how to hold right.
So I want to encourage all the women out there to pack.
A quick PSA.
And men, because men end up at places too.
When I had a car, I had a whole bag with me all the time.
What was in your whole bag?
It was typically basketball shorts, maybe a clean wife beater.
If I wanted to hang out.
That's not really a hole bag, though.
I don't feel like men need a hole bag because we can always run in any bathroom.
Yeah, but men with a job in the morning need a hole bag.
Clean our fucking pubes right quick.
That's gross.
I mean, I've never done it.
You've never had a real job, though, until you get it in the morning. I've never had pubes. Okay. Well i've never i've done it you don't have you've never had a real job
though i've never had pubes okay
it's a joke it's a joke
sexual uh things with you today no no we're definitely not doing it um but so speaking of
hoes last night was that last night what What's today? Today's technically Wednesday.
A couple of nights ago, I found myself very busy on a Monday night.
I was traveling.
I was coming back home.
It was yesterday.
Yeah, that was, no, it's Wednesday.
Oh, it's Wednesday.
That was yesterday.
That was two days ago.
So I found myself really busy as I was traveling to come back home on Monday evening, and I
was very sad, and I was very disappointed because I was going to miss
love and hip hop.
Now let me qualify for a couple of seconds.
I have not watched love and hip hop since before I proposed to maybe on love
and hip hop,
maybe like three episodes before that I stopped.
Did she say yes?
No,
I missed that episode.
I'll catch a rerun.
It's fine
anyway fucking up no we have more equipment here than ever and you're throwing water so
so i missed loving hip-hop which i was very disappointed about because i was really excited
to see cardi b i was such a piece of shit.
I really considered
canceling dinner
with my mother
on Monday night
so I could catch the episode
in real time.
Well, as you should have.
I figured she would
understand to see
Cardi Christ.
Fucking Cardi B.
Queen Cardi.
Bless VH1.
Who did VH1 a favor?
I think that Cardi B
is about to be like
Superstar?
The new voice for the whole. She is. That's what I think. No, no is about to be like the new voice for the hoes.
She is.
That's what I think.
No, no, no.
For real.
I don't know who the old voice for the hoes was.
Superhead.
No.
No.
Geez.
Nobody liked her.
They just were so interested in her shit.
No, no.
Nobody.
She's not relatable.
She didn't speak for the hoes.
Nobody wants to hang out with her.
They just want to hear her fucking hoes story. Cardi B't speak for the hoes Nobody wants to hang out with her They just want to hear her fucking ho story
Cardi B is speaking for the hoes
Much like Jocelyn Hernandez spoke for the hoes
Yeah but like I think this is even on a bigger scale than that
She's on a greater scale than Jocelyn Hernandez
I don't know that yet
Did Kat Stacks speak for the hoes?
No
She's another
Amber speaks for the hoes
Yeah
The hoes love Kim K because Kim K, they aspire to.
She's like the only hoe that made it.
Yeah, but she doesn't speak for the hoes.
Like, she won't admit, hey, I'm a hoe.
Yeah, but she's graduated.
So, like, she gives hope to the hoes is what I'm saying.
And I don't mean Nicole can probably ask you no because I don't know her to be a hoe.
But the hoes aspire to be like her for some reason.
Even though I think Kylie now,
for some reason I was on that girl's Instagram page the other day, Kylie.
I like her, although I don't want to like her.
Kylie might be the voice for the hoes in a few years.
She's the voice for the hoes now.
No, she's not.
No, she might be the voice for the hoes.
She needs to fuck a few more people.
She's done no thotting.
Still, she comes from a family of fucking royal fucking thots. It's like a lineage of thots. It's like no thoughting. Still, she comes from a family of fucking
royal fucking thoughts.
It's like a lineage of thoughts.
It's like royal thoughts.
Who are the royal thoughts?
The Kardashians. I mean, they're not thoughts for real.
Marilyn Monroe.
Yeah, the Kardashians are like...
Are we talking about the Mount Rushmore of hosts?
Marilyn Monroe is number one.
She's George Washington.
She's on the dollar bill
Yeah she's like fucking Wilt
Marilyn Monroe is the Wilt Chamberlain of hoes
Right?
I mean Wilt Chamberlain is the Wilt Chamberlain of hoes
That bitch is the KRS-One of dotting
Yeah she's like fucking Grandmaster Flash
Alright
Kim K
I'm not calling her a hoe
But she is on the
Mount Rushmore of hoes
Because hoes aspire
To be like her
Right
I'm gonna throw
A quick curveball in there
Paris Hilton
Oh
She revolutionized the game
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Kim wouldn't be Kim
Without her
She did put Kim on
She's an OG
But Kim showed her
How to do this son
So
Yeah you made a hot line
I made a hot song
Paris Hilton I'm not bro I'm not putting Paris Hilton On the fucking Mount Rushmore of hoes Okay But Kim showed her how to do this, son. Yeah, you made a hot line. I made a hot song.
Paris Hilton?
I'm not putting Paris Hilton on the fucking Mount Rushmore of hoes.
Whoever said, oh man, I really want to
fuck her. Paris had a run.
When? You're going to tell
me Paris Hilton didn't have a ho run?
No. I don't think she had
a ho run. She was the original Kim.
She just didn't fuck rappers.
Then she wasn't hoing right. She signed to whole run. She was the original Kim. She had like a new boyfriend every week. Yeah, it was all like white people. Then she wasn't hoeing right.
Yeah.
I mean, she signed to Cash Money.
Why do you know that?
Because.
You know like all the useless information.
She actually had a good song on there.
I like two of her songs.
So we got Marilyn Monroe, Kim.
Amber.
Amber, I'm throwing on there.
How many?
Is it on Mount Rushmore 5? It has to be. Kim. Amber. Amber, I'm throwing on there. How many is on Mount Rushmore 5?
She has to be.
Yeah.
Why do you know parents who signed to cash money and don't know how many people on Mount Rushmore?
See what I mean about you?
Not important info.
We're at three.
Right?
How many are on Mount Rushmore?
See?
Are y'all serious?
Five?
Do you know?
Yes.
Okay.
Yes, I'm positive.
I said that number, so I knew a Jace.
So we need two more so we can exit this.
That's tough.
I still think Superhead owes some work here.
No, G.
She started the book game.
Does Melissa Ford get a mention here?
If Melissa Ford is on there and Superhead is not, I'm blowing up
this Mount Rushmore.
Can we just fuse one face
for like all of the 90s hoes?
No.
Wait, who were the hoes
in the 90s?
Like Gloria Velez,
Melissa Ford.
Oh, my baby.
I know.
Oh, man.
Lil' Glow Glow.
I miss that episode
of Loving It Bob, too.
Oh, my goodness.
It wasn't on.
It wasn't on.
That was like a trillion years ago
and then she was on camera
like, yeah, he ate it
and da-da-da-da.
Oh, whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Yeah.
All right. Fuzzy Mike's here
alright
we're just gonna keep
moving right along
since we couldn't think
of two more people
from the Mountain Rush
how did it taste
I was
how did what taste
what are you talking about
I was waiting for Cardi B
on Love & Hip Hop
and I didn't see her
no
I was really upset
I missed it
I ran home
saw a rerun and it wasn't
there uh i will say though i i am enjoying remy and papu's way more than i thought that i would
i like to see the different side actually not even remy because i always liked remy and i've
always liked pap too but you never really knew too much pap sounds like a great fucking guy you
know everyone clowns pat but he's a way better person
than all of us.
It makes me think
when I see him
of all the people
that have slandered Papoose
which he's done quite a bit
that should be slandered maybe
as have I.
As have I.
No one's beyond slander.
But sometimes the things that he says
if it wasn't coming from Papoose's mouth
people may agree with it.
Oh, that's like with me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Papoose showed me a real, like, I don't want to say sensitive side, but just, I love it.
Everything I saw from him in episode one, I fucking love.
But anyway, so off of that.
So I was heated and I was steaming and I was so upset that I wasted an hour watching the show and didn't see Cardi B.
The whole reason that I'm trying to watch the show.
So I immediately text the loving hip hop producers and I say, dogs.
Just let me know what episode Cardi is premiering.
And they said next week.
So I think that they've gotten enough of those texts to know that people are waiting for her.
They know their star.
enough of those texts to know that people
are waiting for her.
They know their star.
She's being promoted on,
she's like hosting at her job.
But she quit that job though.
She stopped stripping
a month ago, bro.
I follow her on Instagram.
I go to lust right now,
tonight,
and see fucking Cardi B
dropping it like it's hot.
All right, so she quit,
like Naya quit before her.
Like Erica quit before.
I can name a bunch of bitches that quit whatever they were doing and they go back to it.
I have to ask.
Who is the chick?
She used to be Tahiri's friend or is Tahiri's friend.
I fucking forgot.
She's like Morpheus in different color wigs.
Oh, Rah Ali.
Oh, you're talking about Rashida.
Why is she on the show still?
Let's be perfectly clear.
She has to be fucking Rah Ali.
Rashida is eating someone's vagina on...
I have to know.
She's annoyed me since...
She came on when you came on, right?
Same time?
Or before?
I think it was the same time.
She has never had a storyline.
Never.
Like, what does she do?
She's randomly friends with people.
And now she's managing people.
She annoys the hell...
How is she still on this TV show?
She can look a good pussy
I know
She is licking somebody's pussy
I don't know this to be true
And what's her name again?
Oh I can't
Rah Ali
Rah Ali
Rah Ali
I don't want the work
Cause I heard you slice people's faces
Allegedly
And Rory's a fag
And I'm a bitch
Yeah
So this is
In a Paisley shirt
Anything that said
Joe is fully responsible
Paisley
Is that the right word?
Oh yeah
I'm with the shit.
I'm perfectly fine with being with the shit.
But but no, I mean, she knows she's eating somebody pussy on it.
It's not a secret.
I thought she liked guys.
She reminds me of Dr. Mike.
You don't think that Rashi.
No, I'm just using your brain.
The one that knows that Paris Hilton is signed to cash money.
You don't think that you don't think Rashi eats pussy just using your brain. The one that knows that Paris Hilton has signed the cash money. You don't think that, uh, you don't think Rashida Ali eats pussy.
All right, it doesn't matter.
She also has the greatest occupation of all time.
I actually do look for her when she comes on the show because they put her name and then they put her occupation, which is stiletto expert.
Oh, yeah.
What the fuck is a stiletto?
Like, what does that even mean?
So you have to think that, like, the first time she was on, the producers were like,
all right, what do you want us to say you are?
Like, we have to put copy on the screen.
And she couldn't figure it out.
So she was like, well, I have a lot of shoes.
To her defense, Rashida owned a very popular shoe store in Harlem many years ago.
And quite a few people have gone by there.
I know I went by there.
I was with you at the time. That girl's an expert.'ve I went by there I was with Tiri at the time
That girl's an expert
And I guess the store
Got closed down
Or something of the sort
I don't fucking remember
Must have been a really good expert
So now she's an
Expert
I guess
Does she write
Does she write for various
Listen bro
Listen bro
Various magazines
I don't pretend to know
Does she
Does she do a class
But
She gonna come for you bro
I don't want that work
She gonna fuck Rory up
She gonna slash your face And don't. I don't want that work.
She gonna slash your face and don't call me either.
She like makes videos outside of people's houses and shit.
She allegedly did that.
Because I think she beat the case.
Beat the case, boys.
So outside of that. I don't want that work.
All right.
So I just I say all of that to say that I really look forward to Cardi B's premiere on Love and Hip Hop.
And I get mad when they trick me um
quantico that neither one of you watch um for the listeners out there quantico they're in season
one uh they just had their winter finale um i don't normally watch shows as they air i like
to binge watch on uh on demand or just wherever, Apple TV, wherever.
But this is the only show that I watch as it airs on television.
And if you know me, you know I've been an advocate of how great this show is.
I've put many people on this show, same way I did with Power.
And I got to say, hated the finale.
Didn't like it.
Wasn't into it.
They tried to twist and turn too much, and you lost me somewhere.
And I got away till March 2nd. You're losing me.
With Quantico.
It's an amazing show.
You should see it.
I'll watch it.
So this is a big deal that the finale was not good because the show was really amazing.
But fine, I won't talk about anything mature.
All right, let's talk about something else.
What do you guys want to fucking talk about?
Let's talk about how high and mighty you are since you've been the best man
at a transgender wedding now all of a sudden you're fucking pc pat and you're mad sensitive
towards people's uh issues i just called you a faggot two minutes ago so i'm not that sensitive
i was fake gay when we started the show so yeah no that's him acting like uh he thinks because
he went on A transgender
Oh yeah
Couples therapy finale
That was the finale
That was the finale
Thank the
I mean how else
Could you end
End a show like that
With me as the best man
At a transgender wedding
With no outfit
I was getting killed
For my fucking outfit
Like yo
How you gonna wear
Jeans to a wedding
Cause I really went
To that house
For a wedding
The whole season
You and Kalenlin looked so homeless,
but that's really your average homeless couture.
Well, number one, I always look homeless.
You do.
Number two, I enjoy looking homeless.
You do.
Number three, when you are in therapy,
they say that when you look that way,
it's because you're really prepared to do therapy
and work on the inside.
You're not so concerned with your outer appearance,
which is a problem with most of the humans in the universe.
All right.
That,
that sounded pretty gay.
I'm like,
fuck,
what?
You're on TV.
Don't look like pure shit.
Exactly.
Sorry that I don't care about stuff like that.
But,
okay.
You're so noble.
On to more serious things.
Well,
no,
let's not get on to more serious things. There are camera people here. A lot. Well, no, let's not get into more serious things.
There are camera people here.
A lot.
And they are filming.
This is called acknowledging the third wall.
None of us.
Breaking the third wall.
It's called the fourth wall.
All of those walls.
Every one of those walls, we broke them.
See, you don't know any of the stuff you should know.
I'm sure Maddie's had her walls broken before.
Last record deal.
Yeah, she doesn't have any walls up, right?
How do you even know about walls?
So listen, there's a camera crew here.
There's a lot of them.
They're filming.
Me, Rory, Norma, Rissa know exactly why they're filming or why they're here.
And we just kind of allowed this.
And one of them has a cape on.
They could be the feds.
Not really sure how we're supposed to feel about this.
But whatever.
I wanted to say that because if you hear Marissa acting like a weirdo at any point during this podcast,
it's because Marissa is really weird around people.
Yo.
Now, with that said, let's talk about some serious shit here for a minute.
We're going to talk about something that
I
that's very dear to my heart
that I am extremely
passionate
about.
This can kind of be
a PSA because I feel like
every time this conversation comes up
I don't think the fans
have a good gauge
I don't think the fans have a good
gauge in terms of what
is deemed a flop
and what isn't a flop
in the music
business. Right?
Because fans just call everything a flop.
Is that accurate?
If you don't sell fucking 400,000 records in a week,
then you're a flop.
Got that.
That's cool.
But now, so this is...
In a world where you can get it for free.
Yeah.
So this is relevant now because...
Why is this relevant now?
Oh, because we're seeing a slew of artists
who appear to be
upset
with their record label.
I'm always
split on this fight
because
you know how women
just empathize with other
women? Labels
empathize with labels. Absolutely.
And artists.
Especially now because all their employees have probably
worked at every label.
It's like a fucking rotating thing.
Are you at Atlantic this week? I'll be there next week.
I tend to
empathize with
artists. Maybe
because I identify or relate
to them. No, I just do.
So recently we have,
and it's a shame
because I really, really enjoyed
August Alsina's last project.
I loved it.
The debut.
Yes.
I loved it.
I loved the joint with Pusha T.
I loved fucking Pornstar.
I loved the joint with Fab.
I just loved it.
I just loved it.
That's it.
And it was one of those joints
where I didn't want to love it.
I didn't want to love it,
but I ended up loving it.
So you have August Alsina,
who I would say
that was a respectable debut.
Yeah.
He did pretty good.
Can we find out what he did
on his debut?
I can.
I have the internet.
Yeah, let's actually fact check
for a change.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I was watching Cardi B
and DJ Self
on The Breakfast Club.
Way to go.
Way to go, Rory.
We don't normally fact check on this show just because it's much more fun to not know what you're talking about and just say shit.
Dab on the horse.
But I would say he had a pretty respectable debut, which you would assume would garner some type of support from his label.
And apparently he doesn't feel as though he's getting that um this is when you can
jump in with the gossipy stuff that he tweeted yeah he tweeted um at def jam although he made
up a fake page he put def jam like d-e-a-f to imply that they're not hearing hey and i want
full credit for calling def jam def jam D-E-A-F
I said this in 04
August originally did 67K
No, dammit, I want my credit
Okay, great, but he did 67K
That wasn't what she was saying
Yeah, 67,000 was his last year debut
And this week he's on set to do 35 to 40
But anyhow
So Jeremiah tweeted
Def Jam was like, y'all not hearing me
And then he was just basically saying that he's upset with his label.
Wait, Jeremiah or August?
Not Jeremiah.
Jeremiah.
August did the same thing, though, too.
We're talking about August.
You asked me about Jeremiah two seconds ago.
I asked you about August.
Yeah, I heard.
I said August.
If he did, I didn't hear him.
I said August.
Oh, it was August.
I didn't even get to Jeremiah yet.
Yeah, August blasted them on Instagram and said that they leaked his, I mean, Twitter
and said that they leaked his album and he's really upset about it.
And I wasn't quite sure why he was blaming
them for the leak. I don't know if there's something he knew
internally.
August, who has proved himself to be
who has shown himself to be rather
emotional at times. Right?
We can agree with that? Yes.
Something happened with his album.
I guess it leaked. It did leak.
He is of the impression that
he's of the belief that his label leaked it or something like that. And he went nuts. It did leak. It was like two days ago. He is of the impression that, he's of the belief that his label leaked it
or something like that.
And he went nuts.
He went wild.
He said,
fuck you Def Jam.
Right?
And didn't delete it either.
Nope.
He kept it up.
Even after his apology,
he kept up those fucking tweets.
Yeah, he didn't say I was hacked.
Because he real.
I appreciate that.
And that's why I respect it.
He felt it.
He said it.
He fucking left it uh i think more artists
should do that instead of deleting or going with i was hacked or you know the bullshit you niggas do
but in his letter that he wrote because i was late to the party would find out what was going on he
wrote the letter and i read the letter and the letter was like yo i love my music and i work
real hard on my music and i just don't you know the fans are being shortchanged and i speak i
speak for the fans so when i'm saying fuck def jam it's really just for the fans i get it i get it i totally understand that but if you're saying that
august is on track to do 30 to 40 yeah um 35 to 40 sales plus streaming i think that's great
i think i mean compared to 67 000 last year that's great
he had a yeah i love this he had a hit record last time around and he remixed it with fucking
chris and trey the fucking two fucking r&b poster boys and he put out a good album yeah and he did
67 so now you're here back around with no label support you feel like i won't say it because i
don't know um no record because i haven't heard any record off this album you nope you nope uh it says album
includes song cry been around the world featuring chris brown so i guess i never i never heard
anything pushing so maybe he's upset that the label's not pushing the singles properly who
cares about any of that if you did 67 with help and 40 with no help what the fuck are you mad
about all right so that's one right and then you have uh jeremiah jeremiah he's on he did 18
oh yeah oh he should be mad yeah shit i should be mad It's just a weird time Like the R&B
R. Kelly is gonna do
Why am I that mad
Now that I'm thinking about it
R. Kelly is gonna do
32 to 37
You're speeding
No I'm just saying
Like it's weird that it's just
Is it R&B
Like is it something
That's going on with that
Ty Dolla $ign did like 22
Like it's all shitty
Low numbers
Ty Dolla $ign didn't do 22
Yeah he did some
Yeah he did low Yeah he did a little
Really bad shit
For a really great album too
I see people say that album is great
It's really good
I haven't listened to it
There's shit that
I like that I know you would like
On that album
Oh send it to me
I will
Did Jeremiah diss
Def Jam
Yes he did
50 Cent did it first
On his behalf
Oh yeah but that don't count
That don't count
And then he echoed
Cause they priced it at $18.99 in Target and shit, which they said
was like fucking unheard of as well.
So they were upset about that.
And then he was just-
How many, was it a double disc?
Right.
No, it's a single fucking album.
Oh, yeah.
I listened to it.
It's not that long.
But wait a minute now.
Only, because I saw 50 say that.
Only Target had it at $18.99?
I think it was, I guess, any retail outlet.
iTunes was the same price as usual, like $9.99 or whatever.
So maybe I'm thinking that Def Jam had a hard time getting Jeremiah into Target.
I wasn't in Target.
Target is very picky.
Oh, they didn't ship as well.
That's what he was upset about.
Best Buy only got six or seven copies apiece.
Corporate offices at Best Buy in Chicago said that they had no shipment for next week.
Sounds like a Joe Budnaum.
Yeah.
But the thing is about Jeremiah.
Oh, but when I complain.
The thing I feel about Jeremiah is he did an interview last year with Billboard.
And he was saying, you know, because the Don't Tell Them shit was super hot last summer.
And there was still no video.
And he was like, you know, it's kind of my fault. They had a video set up. I didn't go. I was super hot last summer And there was still no video And he was like
You know it's kinda my fault
They had a video set up
I didn't go
I was going through mad shit
I'm still kinda going through some shit
So basically he was saying like
He was not really
Supporting his own self
Or whatever
So it's kinda hard
Last time around
Yeah well no
This is the same project
Don't tell them it's actually
On this album
It's been delayed for that long
Yeah
Don't tell them it's on this album
Planes is on this album
With J. Cole
Yeah Planes is on this fucking album
Wait wait wait I was so surprised, wait, wait, wait.
I was so surprised
when I saw Plains.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Wait two seconds.
Yep.
Don't Tell Him
2014
with YG.
That song.
That song?
Summer 2014.
It is December 2015.
And Plains
with that J. Cole verse
that I don't particularly
like to listen to. J. Cole verse that I don't particularly like to listen to.
J. Cole telling you
to suck his penis.
Like there's a foot in your mouth.
I don't want to hear J. Cole talk.
It's so awkward.
I think everyone was uncomfortable when that game won.
Let me just say, I've
been around at least
five thots
who lowered the radio
when that part comes on and they say it.
They like that part. That's their favorite part.
No, it's still weird though. I think J. Cole's attractive
and I still get uncomfortable during that verse.
It's just weird coming from his...
Yeah, just the way he says it and like a foot
is in your mouth. Like, what are you saying?
Just weird coming from him. I'm uncomfortable
when I hear it coming from him.
Like if another...
Like if fucking ODB said it, I'd be like... Right. Like, suck a dick is cool. I'm uncomfortable when I hear it coming from him. Like if another, like if fucking, like ODB said it, I'd be like, oh, okay.
Like, suck a dick is cool.
I don't mind.
Talk about it all day.
But J. Cole saying it.
Only because maybe he had the dogs in the wet dreams video.
All of it.
I don't want to, if you put dogs in a video, I don't want to hear you say that.
Cole and sex doesn't work.
Yeah, I didn't need to hear about Cole's virginity.
Let me tell you how phony I am.
When Kendrick
Says something like that
I love it
Yeah but Kendrick is
I don't know maybe he just delivers it
Fucking problems
ASAP
Oh
I like that song
It's a different delivery
Everyone says that Kendrick line
Cole does it awkwardly
That's the problem
Kendrick does it just cool
like he may not talk about sex often
but when he does
he gets it off
like Cole says
girl you know you want this dick
is way more catchy
and fun to say
than
than listening to J. Cole
describe
a woman
dick so long
it's like a foot
is in your mouth
like every time
it's just inappropriate
no that's great
I think my problem is that he sung it It's like a foot is in your mouth. Like every time it's just inappropriate. No, that's great.
I think my problem is that he sung it.
Because there's nothing wrong with what y'all are saying right now.
I think it's just, and I sing the verse all the way up until he starts singing.
You need a foot in your life.
Yeah, but like.
Take my foot in.
If it was like. Dog, I need to hear aggression when I'm inserting my cock.
That's like a foot in your mouth.
First of all, if my dick is 12 inches fucking long, which I'm not saying it isn't.
I wasn't going to inquire.
Why did you look at Roars when you said that?
Yeah, dude, the cameras get on you and this gets kind of fucking weird.
He's like, I didn't say it wasn't real.
I'm really uncomfortable.
Ever since Joe started dating Austin Mills,
I think,
did Austin turn you out?
Is that what happened?
Rory, you're not my type.
No, I'm getting uncomfortable, guys.
All right.
I would never date you.
That's fine.
You're not my type either.
Now I lost what I was saying.
I like my men dressing better.
Okay, that he shouldn't be singing.
If you have a 12-inch dick
and you're putting it in some fucking unsuspected
thoughts mouth, you're just not
going to fucking sing it.
You're just not.
You might not even say a word to the bitch.
But I feel like if Wayne said it, it wouldn't bother me.
Well,
I don't think we should
get into that one.
Caught me off guard there.
Won't get into why.
If anybody like Wayne or someone like that said it.
Let's talk about someone else who said it.
So Cole can't just tenderly get some
head on his 12 inch dick.
Hey, wait a minute now.
If Cole is not with the girl,
he broke up with the sweetheart.
Oh, no, no, no. They're still together.
Melissa? They broke up?
He's single?
Oh, now you like the line.
Now what do you know?
He's a really, really nice girl, by the way.
I'm going to hop in those DMs like a
fucking grasshopper.
You're not his type.
I bet I could do it.
Some women feel like they could bag anybody.
But anyway, we're off on a tangent
We were talking about something
We don't want to talk about J. Cole's sexual
Jeremiah with planes
And don't tell him which I love
He's had a great year
I mean it's been almost two years
He's had a great few years
Yeah but the problem is
That they didn't capitalize it while the iron was hot
Or however the phrase goes
18, 22,000 It was spread out success Yeah, but the problem is that they didn't capitalize it while the iron was hot or however the phrase goes.
18, 22,000.
18.
It was spread out success.
Yeah.
And it just didn't kind of be cohesive the way it was.
And who else did they throw off the fucking diving board?
Def Jam or just labels, period.
Period.
Well, like I said, R. Kelly. I feel like because of the Christmas break
I mean the whole industry shuts down in December
And like January
Or is it just December? The whole month of December?
It's the end of January
I'm looking at Pusha T's rollout
Pusha T is signed to where?
Def Jam, well good music Def Jam
But yes Def Jam handles all his rollouts.
What's going on with Def Jam?
But you have to understand, he's royalty in that building.
They can't fuck that up.
Shit if they can't.
No, no, no, I'm saying.
Shit if they can't fuck it up.
I'm saying they, not in that they can't.
Kanye will lose his mind if they fuck it up.
He's royalty in that building.
Are you saying you don't think
that Pusha T's rollout is good?
Do you think that Pusha T's rollout, and I'm having
just a hypothetical conversation as a fan, because I'm a huge
Pusha fan. Me too.
Do you think that Pusha T's rollout
looks like
the label is saying, we better get
this right? No.
I'm suggesting that with Kanye behind
him, they put a little bit more effort in but it
seems my problem with their rollout now is it's pushes back but there's no really music that
they're pushing they're pushing him yeah i see him everywhere because we love him yeah we love
him but i don't see any music backing which is Which is smart. And they stole my rap genius idea that I did for your album.
And I'm still salty about that.
What?
Releasing older lyrics before the album comes out.
Yeah, but that's a good thing.
That's a good thing that people are stealing that.
No, it is.
Because it highlights words and lyrics and lyricism.
So you want more people that are lyricists like Pusha T to.
And I think he annotated them the way you did too so except you had the videos so fuck def jam ross
wouldn't that be like a rob mark do we ross is on def jam too right yes he is he did 67
yeah i heard his first numbers were lies because i heard 30 and then then i heard it was 60 so
either either someone bought a lot of albums in one day.
It was 67, but it was also the lowest of his career.
I'm not going to say that someone purchased albums
because I know how that goes too.
It's very expensive to buy that many albums.
I know back in the day,
I know some people purchase albums for a fact.
And back in the day, they did that. If you were fighting with somebody for a fact um and you know back in the day they did that you know if you know you
were fighting with somebody for a number one spot the label buys a couple and now you got it all
right cool we got that today i don't know how lucrative it would be to buy that many like to
go from 30 to 67 i don't think that many people bought that i know 50 said that so it's easy for
neutral fucking thinkers to just run with what he said, but I don't feel that way. But, I mean, the point that I'm making here is
there are a lot of albums getting dropped off the fucking diving board,
and I was having a conversation.
I saw someone tweet recently.
They said 50 can't say shit about Ross.
50 last album did,ah, blah, blah.
And I was like, eh.
And that is where I think the fans are a bit uneducated.
Flop.
What do fans think the word flop means?
I think they change it with every fucking thing.
All right, so you don't know.
It's probably relative to their perception of an artist
and what they should be doing.
As in Ross, if it was 30, that's a flop because Ross should be doing 100K in their brain.
Well, 67 is a flop for Ross too.
I mean, like I said, it is the lowest.
I mean, on a major, yeah, because he's done 100 on his other ones.
So let's put some perspective into this.
The word flop, and I hate to be all educational with all these camera people around, but we can be funny another time.
The word flop, if you do not recoup what you spend, it's a flop, right?
Correct.
I agree.
That should be a very simple definition All across the board
Now
A lot of times fans are unaware
Of what is being spent
On a project
Like they have no idea
What goes in the
Let's see you got a recording budget
You got a fucking video budget
A radio budget
You got all of this Fucking shit
That totals
Whatever it totals
Remember a bunch of years ago
When niggas was running around
Saying yeah
Just got the two million dollar deal
Ah
No you didn't
Uh
You got a deal
With some numbers
And a budget
And it totals
This
Now in the event
And if you sell
A certain amount of albums
Then maybe you'll get the back end
But typically That's a really high number So you don't get it So if you got a certain amount of albums, then maybe you'll get the back end, but typically that's a really high number,
so you don't get it.
So if you got a $2 million deal,
you got the advance of $2 million?
No.
You ain't getting no fucking $2 million.
Granted, there can be a bonus for when you sign,
but not a lot of artists get that in there.
And the signing bonus is in your pocket.
You don't owe that back,
whatever happens to your album.
No, you owe that back too.
That too, the bonus?
It's called an advance.
We're advancing this to you.
That's it.
And then if you do not recoup your costs, you are required to pay that back.
You owe them a certain amount of money.
No, you got to pay that back regardless.
That has to go back.
That comes out of the sales.
Then it goes even and then you guys split whatever the splits are at that point.
But if it never breaks even, you owe them money at that point.
Yes.
Okay.
And do people actually pay that?
You're in the red.
Will the label sue the artist?
Has that happened?
Or do they kind of just cut their losses and let it go?
No.
I mean, it depends.
It's circumstantial.
Depends on, I mean, is that your last?
They're going to get theirs.
The label is going to get theirs.
Make them do more stuff and not pay them?
No.
I mean, if I gave you $2 million and you put your album out and you sold fucking, what did you sell?
50,000 copies or 40,000 copies or some shit.
Your next go around.
Oh, we're scaling all the way back.
Yeah.
Go make your album with $10 and have it last.
Which is fine.
The label got to get there. But if I'm not mistaken, 50, I think 50 backed and supported his entire project financially himself.
This was the Animal Ambition one?
Whatever the last one was.
I think that's what it was.
I think I want to say he did 35 or 45.
I think that would be correct.
Somewhere in that range.
Seems legit And I think that Because he backed it himself
And I don't know what
50 splits are
And what he's doing
But we know 50 to be a pretty
Pretty good businessman
So when you back it yourself
And you sell
Let's give him 40 grand
I could still be wrong
Because I'm not fact checking
We're just making shit up
And I'm certain that
50 didn't go around
Just fucking giving a shit
load of money to a whole bunch of different i was gonna say like 50 knows how to move
so i'm sure he moved that way um i'm sure he made a shit load of money on his last album
but the guy was saying that he really shouldn't be talking about ross because
and that's my thing with ross and i've had i've said this a lot about Ross. Ross's image is bigger than life itself.
And when your image is that way, it's kind of hard to uphold and maintain it, I guess.
Which fans never really cared about with him until probably about now.
So you got Jeremiah complaining.
You got fuckingeremiah complaining you got fucking august complaining ross is not complaining
publicly but i'm certainly saying something behind closed doors um i don't know if we all are just
full of that much good grace where we can see our artists that we signed sell 250 and us come and
sell 70 i don't know if we're all good, amazing people that way.
Are you saying he was behind closed doors?
He's complaining about the label?
If he ain't, he should be.
Why?
What did he give the label to work with?
Yeah, what point do the artists take?
What did Ross give the label to work with?
Well, he was on house arrest,
so I'm sure he had all the time in the fucking universe
What do you mean what did he give them
As far as to push
The album
He gave them Sorry with Chris Brown
Which I feel is being force fed down our throats
And I'm not agreeing or disagreeing
But I do feel like that song is being force fed down our throats
And it's not the greatest
I don't think that song is working
I know it's not And I don't think that song is working. I know it's not.
And I don't think it's not working because Def Jam's not pushing it.
I just don't think it's working.
I love when I get to debate with Rory.
Everyone says Rory won his last debate with me.
But I just like to debate shit just to debate it.
Oh, that's your cop out now?
That's why you took the L?
I'm not saying I took the L.
I'm saying I like to debate.
So we're going to have one now. That's why you took the L? I'm not saying I took the L. I'm saying I like the debate. But we're going to have one now.
Let's do it.
I think that Ross is in a space where he should be able to sell more than 70,000 records with no record at all.
That's what I think.
I don't think that him and Jeezy should be as far apart in space as they are.
Here's where I disagree with you.
Ross sells a lifestyle that a majority of this country does not live
and just hopes to live one day.
So when that starts to come down and your music isn't as good,
a fan did not fall in love with Ross.
Fell in love with his music.
Let me finish. His music is now declining. Fell in love with his music. Let me finish.
His music is now declining.
Jeezy, for example. We fell
in love with Jeezy. It was
a movement. We fell in love with
his story coming from Atlanta
as a drug dealer. We loved that.
We loved the snowman t-shirts. We loved all that.
I had one with some glitter on it. We loved the
authenticity of it. We knew
Jeezy was giving us something real that we could connect to.
Whether we live that or not, we could connect to it because it was real.
Huh?
He was being himself.
I'm just here for the free water.
Wait, what?
Ross, we cannot connect to because he is a facade.
He has made up this lifestyle.
We love the music.
We didn't love him.
Here's why J. Cole was successful.
People love him, and he happens to make good
music, too. So no matter when he goes out,
his fans are coming because they love him.
It's the same way with you and your fans.
Yo, can I just put this out there?
Ross does not have that. I want to just put this out there
to the fans that think like Rory is saying.
Y'all don't know these niggas.
I know. I'm saying people are connecting.
They think they do.
So when people say shit like, I love this person because of this person.
Yeah, that's a technicality.
I maybe have heard two Jeezy interviews in my life.
Of course I'm under-exaggerating here.
You're not a Jeezy fan.
And these kids love what they know from his music.
What I'm saying, I don't think there's a million Jeezy fan thing And these kids love You like his music No no no What I'm saying I don't think there's
A million Jeezy interviews
I mean if I
If I go looking
Right this second
I don't think
But he talks through his music
He says
People connect to him
Joe the same way
They connect to a
A gangster film
Because they love that
Jeezy
We
We believed it
We saw him with
All his thousand dreams
I like
I like that
I like that wording better
And I like that wording better and I like that wording
better we believe we believed it and people can connect to a story of someone that is well way
on the bottom he came in uh BMF uh that whole shit and then what um snowman is believable it is yeah and then he came with a wait wait
and he came with a classic album yes debut out the rip right boom after a huge mixtape run
he wasn't nobody when that album came out he was somebody i know he was somebody but he still had
a hard time breaking originally.
And I want to talk to the people that remember when Jeezy came out.
Because I remember Fab busting his ass to break Jeezy.
I remember that.
Well, in New York.
In New York.
I was going to say that.
Not away.
In New York, Fab was very instrumental in people accepting Jeezy the same way Dipset was very instrumental
in Wayne in New York.
Yep.
Because that's when New York mattered still.
Not to say that it doesn't now.
But okay.
I'll say it doesn't.
Yeah, it doesn't.
So he came to Classic Album.
Yeah.
So what, and we're saying,
and why are we saying
that this is different from Ross?
Because Ross came and pretended to be someone he was not. Yeah, and Jeezy, so what and we're saying and why are we saying that this is different from ross because ross
came and pretended to be someone he was not yeah and jeezy we felt jeezy there was pain in his
music as well which people go to right away he had amazing records ross is just selling this boss
lifestyle that none of us can connect to it's fun to watch but when the music doesn't add up
you lose as a fan because i was just a fan of his music.
I wasn't a fan of him and who he was as a person.
You're buying Jeezy's album because you're a fan of him as a person.
When you have a cult following similar to yours, people that are in that cult are going to buy it no matter what.
Ross doesn't really have a cult following of fans that love everything about him.
My cult following ain't buying my last album.
They ain't buying it.
Not all of them.
I'm not rolling with that.
And that's why people like Logic
are selling more than Rick Ross
because fans are attached to his story.
He's a genuine person.
We are seeing him in his music.
We feel like we know him.
Ross, we know, is just a fucking a it's a minstrel show we we know it's he's just up there
creating a movie and when the music doesn't add up there's nothing there to grasp to no movie to
watch that all made sense I won't disagree with any of it. I will still stick to my original point.
Even if you're correct,
I still think that Ross should be able to sell
more than 60,000 units without a single.
I think that he has done that much in his career.
And I think he's made great enough music
to acquire the fans necessary
to sell 60,000 without one record at all.
Okay.
I mean, he did.
He did 67.
Eh.
Eh.
You have grays in your beard.
Good.
I want grays.
I want grays in my beard.
Which leads me to now, so what do you do?
So what do you do?
Like, how many majors are there?
One.
Like one now?
I think it's one major label now.
There's UMG and Warner.
And they all own everybody, right?
I don't know how it works anymore.
So there's two major labels.
They're all the same fucking shit.
So there's two major labels.
What are you to do as an aspiring artist now like do
it yourself indie feels successful it feels like even to be successful in a major you have to
operate as an indie hell yeah absolutely like only look at them as additional like monetary
backing at the at the end of the whole thing like you need to come up with the vision and execute
and whatever and only go to them when you need a couple dollars
in the pocket
and that's it.
Like, that's all
they can really provide
at this point.
But when they don't back it,
then what?
When you look to them
for the additional backing
and then it does not transpire.
Financially or otherwise?
It doesn't occur.
No, period.
Just period.
As in, whatever you need them to do
and they don't do it.
I'd like to know
when Ross's contract is up
I think this was his last album
Yeah I feel like it was
Which by the way I'm ain't bad
I think that's why he did the back to back albums
Last year
I haven't heard Black Market
Like I said last week
I don't like to listen to music
When it first comes out
I mean it's a Ross album
I'm going to listen to music when it first comes out. I mean, it's a Ross album. It's nothing that you haven't heard.
I am going,
I'm going to listen to it.
In the intro,
he talks about running a train
in middle school
with John Legend
harmonizing in the back.
So it's a great fucking album.
That's really great.
Well, first of all,
well, let me say,
Ross and John Legend
are a pair that has yet to miss.
Kind of like Ross and Nas.
Oh my God. I could listen to a whole fucking double disc. Shouldn't Kind of like Ross and Nas. Oh my God.
I could listen to a whole fucking
double disc.
Shouldn't it be a Ross and Nas album?
Somebody tweeted that,
I forgot who,
that Ross should executive produce
the next Nas album.
And I 100% agree with that.
I want to hear a Ross Nas album.
It's the key to success.
What are the albums
that we've been deprived of here?
I'd like that we should have got.
We should have Ross and Nas.
Well, that's able to happen because clearly they have chemistry and they make good music together.
I'm still waiting on Mac and Brad.
I'll be the old guy in the room and say it.
Scarface and Beanie Siegel.
I'm waiting.
You have a purchase in me for whenever that occurs.
That's an album that should occur.
What else is there?
What other albums should occur?
I'll speak for the younger generation then.
Cole and Kendrick is one that the younger kids
really want.
Cole and Kendrick. I'm in.
I'm in on that. That's another one.
They don't really have many records though.
Were we really looking for the Drake and Future album?
No.
I wasn't.
It wouldn't even cross my mind.
We weren't looking for it at all.
I think until we heard it was coming, it was like, oh, man.
But all right.
Shit is lit.
At one point, I would have loved Drake and the Weekend.
I still would like that.
I feel like Drake and Cole might make a decent album.
I loved In the Morning.
I like the Jodeci freestyle. I like In the Morning. I like the Jodeci freestyle.
I like In the Morning.
I feel like when they record together, I enjoy it.
It's a very light-skinned situation.
I mean, just as long as Cole doesn't try to produce the whole album, I'm in for it.
Yeah.
I agree.
Get some other beats.
I would like to hear some of these albums.
We didn't start with this Bevel shit.
I know.
We're going to put it in.
We'll plug it. All right. I'm not going to turn this whole shit into We didn't start with this Bevel shit. I know. We're going to put it in. We'll plug it.
All right.
I'm not going to turn this whole shit into fucking music seminar class.
Fuck some fuck shit.
How was your trip to Orlando?
Was that where you went?
Tampa?
No.
I went to Tampa, and I drove to Orlando while I was there because Johnny landed in Orlando.
And we had fun.
It was very peaceful, very relaxing.
Briefly. Hey, Jen. Briefly. It was very peaceful, very. Did you see Jen? Relaxing.
Briefly.
Hey, Jen.
Briefly.
Briefly, I did.
Who just goes to Tampa?
That's actually the strip club capital. What was the flight?
$35?
Isn't that like the biggest strip club per blah, blah, blah block?
It's Florida.
No, Portland is the strip club capital of the world.
I mean, of the nation, by the way.
I mean, the country.
I thought Tampa had the most strip clubs.
No, Portland, Oregon has the most strip clubs. Are you trolling or really? I'm Googling this. I guess, of the nation, by the way. I mean, the country. I thought Tampa had the most strip clubs. No, Portland, Oregon has the most
strip clubs. Are you trolling or really? I'm Googling
this. I guess there's nothing else to do.
You can Google it. This I know.
I was going to say, I wouldn't take away from your
expertise. Portland, Oregon
is the strip club capital of
America. If she's the stiletto expert, you would
definitely be the strip club expert. Thanks a lot
for that, bro. So, Tampa was
real cool. We went and did like four escape the rooms of course out there um to y'all that
don't know that are listening escape the room right there god damn it he was right
joe will tell you their wings and mac and cheese menu for every one of them thanks rory thanks a
lot uh we did escape the room out there escape the room uh you and a
group of your friends you go in a room the room is themed they give you a bunch of clues you have
an hour to try and escape the room we have done about 18 of these you know he texts us today in
like the largest group chat ever trying to get do another one tonight well i'm ready to do one
tonight and well actually i'm doing it i'm doing it you guys are doing it uh by the way who was
that 908 number on the chat johnny later uh. I have no idea. Talk about it later.
Me, Johnny.
A few of us, we're going to do Escape the Room tonight at 1130.
Which is why I'm not going.
Yeah.
What?
I have other things to do.
It's an hour.
It's an hour long at 11 o'clock, 1130.
You're done by 1230.
An hour.
You just had a nigga in your house yesterday that you didn't want to be there, and he was
there for like five hours.
I read the whole fucking thing. thing Oh you were in my whole timeline
Yeah I read it on your Twitter
Jesus Christ
You scoffed at something
With your fucking friends
That you do for an hour
At 11.30
You know what
I don't know
But this strange guy
That's sitting here
That won't leave
I'm just gonna tweet how much
He disgusts me all night long
Was he on Twitter
I don't even see that
No he doesn't have Twitter
I don't understand Marissa
Marissa fucking
I don't get you
And then he slept over.
And then I tried to put him in my guest room.
And then he came into my room.
So then I waited until he fell asleep and I wiggled out.
And then I slept in my guest room.
And then he woke up all alone this morning.
I felt bad, but not that bad.
Get a backbone.
Get the fuck out of my house.
I don't want to be mean.
He's really nice.
And he was watching the football game on his fucking computer.
And I was texting my best friend
I'm like bro there's nothing to talk about
Like this guy has the personality of a fucking rock
Why is he in your house?
Well because we had a great first date
But I think I realized it was because the liquor was involved
And that's where the issue was
And he's like I'm going to stop by after work
Because he works nearby
Wait time out
Yes
So you guys had a great first date
Yes
And the second date is at your house
Yeah well he said he was going to stop by after work
It wasn't even a date He's like I'm bringing pizza let's hang out for a little
bit i'm like all right cool and then he just never left and then i realized he was trying to stay
there when is it okay to get to a bitch house first day real i don't go to girls within an hour
i don't go to girls i don't go to girls houses i met him on the dating app well why i think
sometimes it's better in my i'm not fucking in a girl's house in my hoeing days you can leave
afterwards when she's at your house i heard johnny say that now it's i told i don't understand people
that don't just speak their minds listen to this i know about i know about and if i'm just
randomly guessing in my life i know at least 30 people that have got robbed and jacked or set up for a
second but he's a let me finish or set up by going to random women's houses right i know at least
four people that have died this way right so i personally um learned long ago i'm not just going
to some random bitch house that i don't know, especially to try to fuck
because to fuck,
you're catching me in my most vulnerable,
I'm not on point,
I'm not my peripheral,
I'm not,
I'm there to fuck.
That would be the worst time to die for me.
Really.
Honestly.
I'm in there,
I'm gazing, bitch,
I like can-do and shit
and here comes some nigga
jumping out the fucking closet to stab me in my fucking back. Fucking cape man over here jumping out the fucking closet. While you're putting your'm in there. I'm gazing, bitch. I like can-do and shit. And here comes some nigga jumping out the fucking closet
to stab me in my fucking back.
Fucking cape man over here
jumping out the fucking closet.
While you're putting your dick
into her mouth.
I'm just saying.
Like a foot.
Yeah.
Nah, he wasn't even trying to.
It was the weirdest situation ever.
So I'm not going to no bitch house.
And seven times out of ten,
my house is more comfortable
than the bitch house.
Well, not to poke holes in your theory here, but the woman coming to your house that could have possibly set you up now knows where you live.
Right.
It's also true.
Oh, I got guns all over my house.
You're a shooter?
I got guns all over my house.
Everywhere in my house.
I wish a nigga would in my house.
I have guns everywhere in my house.
Allegedly. Yeah. I mean, yes. That's house. I have guns everywhere in my house. Allegedly.
Yes.
Allegedly.
Something tells me
you're not having a driver's license.
I don't think you have a gun license.
My license is good.
Congratulations.
Do you have a gun license?
I don't have a gun.
I don't own a gun.
But if a girl if you met one online Congrats, man. Thank you. Do you have a gun license? I don't have a gun. Right. I don't own a gun. I can't even spell it.
But if a girl, if you met one online and she came over the house, somehow there'd be guns.
I get it.
Okay.
That's good.
Story time with Joe.
I'll be honest with you.
Who are you?
Denzel in training day with a shotgun under the bed?
You're not that dope.
Are you going to shoot?
What if you can't get to your alleged gun?
That doesn't exist. There is no way in God's green earth
that I can't get to my alleged gun
from my bed.
Or guns, plural,
because apparently there's a thousand.
All right, let's say we're at the other room.
You know how when you come in my house,
I've got iPhone chargers conveniently placed everywhere?
Like, not just my bedroom?
Is that a marking for where the gun is behind the wall?
No, I'm just saying
knock on the wall
and it comes out the side
listen random
but there are no guns
if there was
random story time
because he's a rapper
and rappers have to have guns
so we're painting a facade here
random story time
with Joe
love stories
only because we have
our beautiful friends
in the house
with all of these cameras
who we don't know their names
who keep telling me
how to adjust
I can't get my zone.
We just know Cape Man.
Even though she has a cape too.
There's other people that aren't really doing anything.
They're directing.
So many, many, many, many, many, many, many years ago.
Right?
Once upon a time, not long ago.
Because my hoes might be listening.
Right.
Alleged.
You don't have hoes, you don't have guns. I don't. Alleged. Never want to give the hoes
too much information.
You don't have guns.
I don't have hoes or guns.
So many years ago, right?
There was a young lady.
Beautiful lady.
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
She shall remain anonymous
because you guys may know
who she is, right?
Beautiful though. Like, oh man. Can we have a hint like the way madi does no you can't get a hint like madi um we're really editing that
part later no we're not um no we're not yep listen so it was this girl right so she was in new york
and she hit me and damn i can't even say that I might give too much.
She hit me and she's like, yo, I'm in New York. I wasn't supposed to be here.
What's good? What are you doing tonight? And me like a fucking idiot.
I start telling her what I'm doing with my name. Well, I'm going to feed my dogs.
Then I'm going to go to the supermarket and make some burgers later.
Like all of this, because I don't know when a girl trying to give me some pussy.
She has to really spell it out for me. So she said why don't you come by to my hotel
afterward and i said hmm all right i will i will come by your hotel afterward oh i have a great
story too go on i'm sorry so she i'd say text me where the hotel is and she texts me the address
and i thought it was a little odd that I had
Never are you kicking me to say something? No, I'm sorry
Oh, I think you're telling me to adjust so I'm trying to stay in the lens with me
All right, so right when this girl text me to hotel, right?
I had I thought it was a little odd red flag number one that I had never heard of this hotel
35 years I've never heard of this hotel, right? So so red flag number one this is what happens when you ignore red flags
cool we ignore it i get to the hotel never seen this fucking piece of shit hotel before in my
entire life but it's cool this woman is beautiful i was at the wm tall and luxurious looking. And I'm sure she has amazing vagina.
But I just couldn't see why someone with amazing vagina would be in this hotel.
I couldn't figure it out.
She's not selling it and she's working an honest living.
So I get up.
Honest living.
She had sex with Joe.
Come on.
That's true.
Oh, that's not the point you're making.
I'm sorry.
Anyway, so I get to this hotel. There's nowhere to park. There's true. Oh, that's not the point you're making. I'm sorry. Fuck you. Anyway, so I get to this hotel.
There's nowhere to park.
There's no valet.
I hate when there's no valet.
There's no valet.
And now I'm driving all around.
How does a hotel not have a valet?
I don't understand.
In New York City.
Because you went to the trash one.
But this bitch is bad and she's beautiful.
So what did I do at fucking whatever time it was
at night?
I went and circled
around Manhattan
for fucking five hours
to find a fucking park, right?
Did you have a bottle
of Merlot?
No, I didn't have
any Merlot.
I'm driving around,
I found a park,
this fucking badass
pretty bitch texted me,
Danny, where are you?
Harry, I'm coming, baby.
I'm coming right there.
I'll be there in two seconds.
I got a parking place.
And I hope you got somewhere I could park when I get there.
You want to know what?
I think I prefer J. Cole's sexual voices than yours.
You sound like Ken Kniff.
I'm trying to give an accurate depiction of my story.
He's like, Zaddy, I'm getting really tired.
Why aren't you going to come?
I'm like, oh, you better believe I'm going to come.
Anyway, so I get to the hotel.
I'm trying to tell a story.
I get to the hotel, and I walk in, and I need a key to get upstairs.
At this place?
At this place with no valet.
I'm like, really, front door desk nigga?
So the guy gives me a key.
I go upstairs.
I walk into the room.
So the guy gives me a key.
I go upstairs.
I walk into the room.
And this is where things begin to get a bit awkward.
I walk into the room, and it was only enough room for the door to open in the room. It was a very tiny room.
And I walk in immediately facing a bathroom and a very narrow wall that lasted for about a foot.
And then it was a bed.
Wow.
And that was the room.
Fancy.
The bed was on a floor.
Of course it was.
No.
Were you in Peter Gunn's apartment?
The bed.
Not of course it was.
Not the bed frame was on the floor.
The bed.
You were going to see Tara.
The mattress.
Was this when you were fucking Samaya?
That's why you want to say her name.
Allegedly.
Never had sex with Samaya Reese.
That was alleged.
The bed is on a fucking floor in a hotel room in a hotel that don't have a valet in New York fucking
city. Can you give me this cross street?
Was this this week? And this bad bitch
is there. It's like right by
Marquis, I think. You fucking up.
It is right by Marquis because I parked by Marquis.
Why is
this bad bitch in this fucking tiny ass
room with the fucking mattress
on the floor? This is where you gotta save her, Joe.
This is where you come in. Take his cape.
So,
I
sit down,
and there's like
a four-inch TV on the wall,
but it's a bit staticky.
I think there was a game on
at this time or some shit. I'm like, uh,
ma. Is that
the TV? And she's like, oh, yeah.
I'm like, you don't say anything wrong
with this room at all, huh?
All your bitches sound the same.
Yeah.
Well, that's my impression.
That's my point.
In my head, I'm like,
this bitch sees nothing wrong
with inviting me to this room.
I gotta show her a better room.
What are you, a classy hoe?
You can't just fuck her on the floor?
No, I wasn't even there to fuck.
I was there to see if I wanted to fuck
And that room didn't make me want to fuck
So
Having to think quickly
On your toes
I said
Darn it
Gotta make a run man
My mom man
My mom's better
I forgot what fucking bullshit I told her
But I said
You know what
I'll be back
I'll be back Are I'll be back.
Are you going to be up?
Do you think she's still in the hotel?
She's still waiting.
Do you have to leave, daddy?
Yeah, man.
I got to go, man.
So I get out of there, and I never felt more fucking joy to be away from a beautiful goddess.
Because that's how this bitch looks,
like a beautiful fucking goddess.
So I leave there,
I go on in my night,
I go fuck some hoes,
whatever,
and like a man,
because I'm a man,
a few hours later.
You went back?
I went back.
Oh my God, I thought.
I went back because I'm a man with a penis and I was there for a fucking job
and if I couldn't do it the first time and dog
stop looking at me
double back a second time and really
show this all right let's change the voice
fucking bosses we're gonna
let her know daddy's back
baby fucking burn your knees on
the floor so so I go
back and
now it's pitch black
all the lights are out she She's ready to go.
So now I'm bumping into shit because I'm clumsy.
And then she takes my hand and she guides me to the floor.
I mean to the bed.
She guides me to the floor bed or the air mattress or whatever the fuck it was in this hotel, right?
And she takes my clothes off.
Okay.
I think we're going too far now.
Well, where did you think this story was going? I don't know, but I don't think I want to know anymore. You think my clothes would be I think we're going too far now Well Where did you think
This story was going
I don't know
But I don't think
I want to know anymore
Don't you think
My clothes would be on
Yeah okay
So then you fucked
And
No listen
Listen
You're touching me
And you're telling me
About nakedness
So she takes my
Oh be glad
I'm touching you
So she takes my clothes off
She takes her clothes off
Right
And then she begins
To do her fucking
Girly shit all over me
That she's doing
Right
But I'm a fucking Anal OCD having Virgo in my head.
So this bitch is on top of me.
She's kissing all over me.
She's looking at me, placing all this shit.
And she's tall.
So it's like, it felt like a tarantula was on top of me.
I felt like Dr. Octopus.
I felt trapped.
That bitch was Gary Payton.
Why is this fucking six foot seven bitch?
Bitch had you in the glove?
I'm already in this tiny ass room.
Why does she have her fucking spider leg?
Samaya wasn't that tall.
I'm telling you, this bitch was like tall.
Like, if this bitch put her arms and legs from around you,
you will have to try to jiggle to fucking get from underneath this hoe.
But anyway, so she's on top of me.
You're fucking up the fancy table.
All I can think in my head is, well jesus this bitch is tall and two this is so not the room to
have sex like and i don't think i understand this is one of the women that you would want to make
an impression on if you were to fuck like you would wanna waste in my good Cialis wasting my
fucking good Viagra on his fucking hoe so anyway the lights around you don't
tell me she's doing whatever she's doing she fucking sits on top of it and
instantly you come I said in my head I said, why am I here right now?
And why am I fucking this girl in this tiny fucking room?
It was role play.
You just weren't into it.
So now I say, you know what?
I'm going to give it a shot.
My dick is like on a fucking six as far as hardness goes.
Like medium.
Yeah, it's a little wobbly.
It's a little floppy disk.
It's a little floppy disk. I don't care if y if you're just me fuck all of you Kate man it's a little floppy disk but we get it
in there this is getting graphic and now because I thought it was me at first but
then once you floppy what listen fellas fellas know once you get in as your
floppy do what if you get in floppy this oh now you're the incredible oh it's
on now bitch i was gonna grow inside of you and you're gonna feel it right so that happened like
my dick was rock hard bad bitch insider tiny room tarantula dr octopus woman on top of me right
it might have been the worst pussy i've felt in my entire life like this vagina was used.
It had no walls.
This vagina has traveled.
It was like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.
Worse.
Worse.
Throwing a pencil down an airplane hangar. So I don't want to be the awkward guy to say,
so I don't want to be the awkward guy to say,
bitch, this vagina
is not it.
Well, now it matches the room.
Yeah, she just wanted to match the aesthetic.
If I have to be perfectly honest,
I don't even remember how this sex
ended.
But when it ended, I tried to leave.
Did you do fake cum?
I don't think I came.
Pulled out. I couldn't have came. I have I don't think I came. Pulled out.
I couldn't have came.
I have to ask her if I came.
I don't think I came.
Oh, you're still in contact with her.
No, but I could be.
I don't think I came.
And I spent the night.
Oh, my God.
You were dedicated to this situation.
You live in New Jersey.
I want to give you the same speech you gave Maddie.
You judged me and my shit was a lot nicer.
I was in a beautiful hotel.
I had four rooms in that one room thing.
There was like four bathrooms in that shit.
I was ashamed.
I didn't know if I was...
I didn't know who I could tell.
I thought no one would believe me.
Did you cuddle with her?
No, I didn't.
That's what I was thinking.
Was it a twin bed? No, I didn't fucking cuddle. I'm a me Did you cuddle with her? No I didn't That's what I was thinking Was it a twin med?
No I didn't fucking cuddle I'm a real nigga
You know he cuddled
You cuddled
I didn't cuddle
You cuddled
I don't believe you
She's too tall to cuddle
What the fuck am I
Lay on her fucking stomach?
Yeah
Cuddling with a tall bitch
Fuck out of here tall bitch
So anyway
I hate cuddling with random people
But I'm a morning person
So spending the night
If you go to bed at 3
I'm up by 6
I'm getting dressed
Fucking
The sun was coming up
I was out of there
That bitch was asleep
While I was
Did they have a
Continental breakfast
Downstairs
Did you pick up a bagel
No I did get a coffee
I was really pissed
Our hotel in Oakland
Didn't have a
I did get a coffee
But
Damn I don't remember
How that story even came up now
I was wondering
The whole time
It was getting set up It was what Getting set up And going to people's houses But, damn, I don't remember how that story even came up now. I was wondering the whole time.
It was getting set up.
It was what?
Getting set up.
Oh, so all I could think when I left there was,
see, this is exactly why I don't fuck bitches in their domain.
Yeah, because bitches don't know what the fuck they're doing.
Yeah.
I don't like to have people in my house either, though, because I realize how boring my house
is with no cable and no food and nothing to do at all.
Well, you don't like people and you don't have cable, so you shouldn't have company.
Yeah, I never do.
Yo, some people shouldn't have company.
I don't like company.
You shouldn't have company.
And you should be aware.
If you're going to have company, your house should be set up for company.
Yeah.
And if you're there, it's not set up for.
I have Netflix, so I have that going for me. Good for you. Yeah, but I mean, that could be something to do with company. But I don't like company. And if you're there, it's not set up for... I have Netflix, so I have that going for me.
Good for you.
Yeah, but I mean,
that could be something
to do with company.
But I don't like company.
I don't like people
touching my shit.
I don't like them
moving my pictures.
Netflix and mouth.
Netflix and mouth.
What?
She got Netflix and no cable.
What do you think
she's doing over there?
She don't watch movies
or nothing.
I don't have guests
at my house, period.
Except for last night.
Yeah, well,
that didn't count.
A J. Cole line comes to mind.
I have a story that I've never told a soul in my life,
so I'm going to tell it on a podcast that 50,000 people listen to.
No, but wait, should we save it for next week?
Like, should we start?
No, it's kind of like yours.
Should we start a segment, like story time with us?
Ooh, I have so many.
Yeah, we can, but I'll tell this one.
I have other stories.
All right, let's hear it.
All right, I was at the label
That we previously spoke about
I was maybe 20 years old
This was a long long long
Long long time ago
Alright so that was this year
Alright
Cause Rory's like 14
So
So now he went
A potential artist
That they wanted to sign
He was somewhat well known
Came in for a meeting
He brought a whole group
Of people with him
Cause he was from the land
As Madi would put it
Oh bitch I'm from 216.
Thanks, Melissa.
No problem.
So my boss at the time says, hey, can you take them out?
Because they were all my age.
And I was like, I'm not even 21, but I know a bar that I can get all them into.
So it's clearly not Ross because he's the boss.
And he's also not from Cleveland, so there's that.
So we get to the bar.
It's a large group.
There's a few women there, so I'm talking to everybody trying to be a responsible
employee.
One of the girls is cute. I thought she was
with the rapper, but then I realized
she wasn't when she started giving me some
rhythm.
We're going back and forth at the bar. I'm 20
years old, so I think what I'm saying is smooth.
I'm sure it wasn't. Cheating on your girlfriend at the time, I'm sure. I was the bar. I'm 20 years old, so I think what I'm saying is smooth. I'm sure it wasn't.
Cheating on your girlfriend at the time, I'm sure.
I was not in a relationship at 20 years old.
Oh.
Kind of like you're not in one now.
Yeah, I'm never in a relationship.
Quotation.
Single as a dollar bill.
You got it, bro.
So fast forward, they want to leave because they have to get up and do shit in the morning.
She says, oh, let me get your number.
I'll be here for the next few days.
I feel like I like stories better when the other people get like a voice.
Like we need to do a voice for her.
I don't like your voice as her voice.
Okay.
So they leave.
I stay at the bar
because I had some other friends.
No, he doesn't give a fuck about what you want.
So what did the girl say?
I'll do it myself.
Pardon?
What did the girl say just now in that story?
She said, let me get your number.
I'll be here for a few more days.
Let me get your number.
I'll be here for a few more days. Hey me get your number. I'll be here for a few more days.
Hey, white zaddy.
Hey, white boy zaddy.
Why don't you do yourself a favor?
Do yourself a favor and slide me those digits.
And you were 20, so you...
I just came.
201
973
Alright, so go ahead. So you were mad thirsty.
Or 908-732.
What up?
You were saying?
Yeah.
All right.
So then she texts me immediately and says, here's the address to my hotel if you're doing
anything later.
Oh, yeah.
No, you do it.
Hey, daddy.
Here's the address To my hotel
It was a text message
I don't like her voice
I don't like your voice
It sounds like me
Exactly
So
Me being 20
Hey white boy
I met earlier
If you wanna come
Get fucked by a real nigga
You wanna get fucked
With a
File 1-900
No no
Over the bitch
Wait wait wait You wait, wait.
You sound just like that.
Hey, white boy from earlier.
If you want to fuck with a real bitch.
That's one.
All right, so go ahead.
And you're like, oh, okay.
I'll be there tonight.
All right.
Oh, my God.
We have so much in common.
So I take the train there like lame.
I don't even cab it.
Like the loser you are.
Because I'm 20.
And you have like a condom in your pocket and like lube it.
No, you have a condom on. He put the condom are. Because I'm 20. You have like a condom in your pocket and like lose it. No, you have a condom on.
You put the condom on.
Alright, I'll be right there.
So you put the condom on soft and now you're headed on the train over there with a condom on your dick.
You got it.
Alright, what else?
So I get to the lobby and I say,
Boy, this thing is tight.
It's because I have a 12 inch dick.
It's like a footage of your man
Alright, alright
Everyone relax
Come on man
You keep interrupting me
I'm on the edge of my seat
I get to the lobby
I say yo
No rush
But I'm downstairs
You text that
Okay
Okay
And she said no rush
Alright
She took that
Pretty literally
Alright so
Two hours later
Me now At 25 would realize It was a bit fishy That it took her like 20 minutes She took that pretty literally. All right, so two hours later.
Me now at 25 would realize it was a bit fishy that it took her like 20 minutes to come down.
But I was like, oh, maybe she getting ready.
Maybe she had to shave her box, something, lotion up, maybe light some candles because I'm a piece.
So we go up.
It's a nice hotel.
There's a bed frame.
Lucky you. Some walking room upon entering. There's a bed frame. Lucky you.
Some walking room upon entering.
So she goes into the bathroom.
It was like straight out of a fucking movie.
Slips into something more comfortable.
And then comes to the door frame.
All right, so she took her Timbs off.
She took her Timbs off and put on what, some Uggs? Some sliders.
No, some Nike sliders.
So she gets right to it
Starts taking my pants off
And starts performing fellatio
Why are we getting so much graphics from you two today?
I thought that was a clinical term actually
It is but
Fellatio?
Yeah
Just cause you say it every single hour and day
What I don't say fellatio every day
So this is where it goes left
She's giving me head And puts a gun to your face Give it up white boy They fellatio every day. So, this is where it goes left.
She's giving me head.
And puts a gun to your face.
And I... Give it up, white boy!
You just got jacked, Paul!
Can I at least get my nut?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, this is great.
Wait, this is where it goes left.
She's taking my stick.
And she's just gonna...
Wait, wait, wait. Give up on the fucking good, you bitch-ass nigga! Don't go to strangers. This is weird. Ghost laugh. This is eating my dick. This is gonna be my ass.
Wait, wait.
Hey, you motherfucking good, you bitch ass nigga.
Don't go to strangers.
Go to town, bro.
Run, tell that.
You really sewed up, you fucking bitch ass nigga.
You're dead now, nigga.
All right.
All right, got it.
So let's remember the scenario here.
She's with a rapper, all his goon friends,
and like two bitches.
I didn't add this up in my fucking head.
I see the bathroom
door opening. Oh, it's
lit. Oh man, she had to
pee?
No, she was still sucking
my dick. Oh, she had to pee while
she was sucking his dick.
Kinky.
Walk with me.
I just gotta sit on the
toilet.
You can just stand right
in front of me.
I got it.
Alright, the bathroom
door's opening.
We should do like
sound effects in the
background.
So you do the creak,
I'll do like the
noise.
No, I'm the voice
person.
You be the dog.
Okay, wait.
So wait.
The sound.
Okay, I can do all
the sounds at the
same time.
I don't want to hear
it. Wait, just that do all the sounds at the same time. I don't want to hear it.
Wait.
Just that fast.
You're fired from being the sound person.
Wait, bitch.
I said to do a door opening, and you started sucking air dick.
Why is Madi sucking air dick for the door opening?
Madi.
I want to paint the perfect picture.
Oh, my.
That wasn't the perfect picture.
Oh, my God. You're fired. Don't want to make this. I want to paint the perfect picture. Oh my, that wasn't the perfect picture. Oh my God.
You're fine.
Don't do any more sound.
I'm not prepared anymore.
Just go ahead,
I'm not ready.
Just go ahead.
She's lost her job.
So,
I immediately look.
Oh wait,
I'll be the sound in the voice.
Okay.
That's a door opening?
Yes!
Oh my God.
No,
that was me about to bust a nut.
Why do you even know
how a door opening sounds?
Why?
I have doors.
Just Uber doors.
All right, go ahead.
And out comes a gentleman holding an iPad like he's filming.
Oh, come on, Ross.
Oh, now you're in a phone.
Really?
Really?
So I immediately push the bitch's head off of me
like you're real
and she goes
no no no no no
and the guy's like
no no no chill chill
are you filming a porn
this is my wife
chill chill chill
you stream
said this is my wife
we do this all the time
oh thanks for the heads up bro
I'm sitting here
with my pants
and my ankles
my dick is hard
and I'm staring at an iPad that her husband is holding.
He was hiding in the bathroom the whole time.
Why is your dick still hard?
I mean, you know, I popped a Cialis for him.
He's 20.
Yeah, I'm 20.
And getting his dick sucked.
See, you fucking young people are idiots.
This guy's getting his dick sucked in a hotel.
The door, a bathroom door opened, and he got guns pointed at him with his dick hard.
Oh my God.
What's going on in this room?
Let me get a nut first.
All right, so you didn't nut yet.
No.
And what do you do at this point?
They're trying to calm me down and explain to me that their husband and wife, and they do this all the time.
He's like, no, no, no, you can fuck her.
I said, give me that fucking iPad.
and wife and they do this all the time. He's like, no, no, no, you can fuck her. I said, give me that fucking
iPad. I delete
the photo, or not the photo, the video on
there and run. Not walk,
run the fuck out of that. Are your pants at your ankles?
Did you pull them up? Yes, I pulled them up at this point.
Okay, now, this is very important here
since we are doing a podcast.
Wife and husband
that are in this story,
if you are listening,
I would love to speak to you.
I would love if we to you. I would love
if we could find these people
so I could-
I think it's going to be
as easy as Delta.
And wait a minute.
See, it's y'all four.
Y'all wasn't dealing
with no real ass nigga.
Y'all dealing with Rory.
I'm into some freaky shit too.
Hey, you can watch me.
I'll fuck your wife.
I will.
I mean, it's cool,
but like give me the fucking heads up.
Like, before you-
If they would have like brought this up at the bar and like gave me a backstory and not
creeped out of the bathroom when I had my dick out of a strange man, I don't know if
I'm going to be as calm and cool as you are right now.
I'm going to get the fuck out of there.
Because there could be three other gentlemen in there.
Oh, then it's super lit.
Then it's a party.
Come out with booms and lighting and shit.
You know what?
If there's anybody else in that bathroom, better come out.
Because I'm about to come and be out.
You're about to miss the whole show.
Get the good angles, bro.
I've never told that story to a soul.
What?
That's a great story.
I would have told someone immediately as I left.
I would have called like six people.
That's because you tell everything. But wait now. Damn as I left. I would have called like six people.
That's because you tell everything.
But wait now.
Damn, I just had
something to ask this guy.
So wait, after that story,
you still go to
bitches' houses to fuck?
Yeah, ones that I know.
How do you know them?
Oh, please.
Yeah, the word no.
It's all relative.
Yeah, come on with no.
Yeah, I know.
I've followed them for years.
I go to your house and you have guns. I don't have any guns. It's all relative Yeah come on with no Yeah I know I followed him for years
I go to your house
And you have guns
So
I don't have any guns
Austin where we at on time
You know what
I gotta beep this
I gotta go
Oh well I will tell you
Why I think I did
Get some pussy from his wife that night
Well not pussy
Some head
Cause you real?
Cause they knew
One day I was gonna shave with Bevel Oh pussy from his wife that night. Well, not pussy, some head. Because you real? Because they knew one day
I was going to shave with Bevel.
Oh!
I think that they knew that as well.
Yep. And since you bring it up,
I hate when this happens.
Bevel!
I was shaving my pews with Bevel.
Bevel, the first and only
shaving system for men with coarse, curly hair
or sensitive skin,
clinically proven to reduce
and prevent razor bumps,
discoloration, and irritation.
Let me be the first to say,
if you got razor bumps,
discoloration, and irritation,
then you should see a doctor.
But also get Bevel.
And get Bevel.
There's a reason
nine out of ten Bevel customers
come back month after month.
Up to 80% of black men and women struggle with razor bumps
Hey!
That's offensive
Truth hurts
And up to 30% of all men and women encounter razor bumps
Oh yeah, I bet you better include that
Multi-blade razors only cause more irritation
To razor bumps while hair removal creams
Are messy
And can leave bumps
The Bevel razor uses a single blade
Which cuts hair above
the skin not beneath so you can avoid painful and grown hairs there you have it uh go to get
bevel.com g-e-t-b-e-v-e-l.com use the code word joe if you're looking for that last minute holiday gift. It's perfect for gentlemen and ladies.
Yep.
And use the code word Rory if you want
Hudson busting out
of the bathroom
while you're getting
your dick sucked.
That's good to know.
Makes sense.
Good times.
It was.
Football.
Let's end with some football.
Football.
The Giants won.
The Giants won last night.
The Giants won last night.
The Giants really fucking pissed me off.
They're supposed to have this division in the bag.
They're supposed to clean this up ages ago,
but of course they didn't because,
you guessed it,
they're the Giants.
So they beat the Dolphins yesterday.
You don't get a fucking cookie from me
for beating the Dolphins.
The Dolphins suck ass.
But Eli looked great.
He only missed like four passes.
Odell is Odell.
It might be time to start inserting him into the top five wide receiver conversation.
It might be.
I bet he does do a lot of inserting.
Hello.
I mean, I think on a scale of one to ten, that was like a four funny.
I don't know.
Yeah, I don't think it was as funny as Joe Wiggins.
That's all the talk Because everybody keeps calling Odell gay
Someone put on Twitter
The caption was
Shorty had on
They showed an apple
They showed a picture of Odell Beckham
And then they showed
A picture of jeans So she was wearing apple bottom jeans. They showed a picture of Odell Beckham and then they showed a picture of jeans.
She was wearing apple
bottom jeans.
He's a bottom. That's way
funnier than the joke I just made. Gay.
He's a gay bottom. I'd have to see it.
See it myself. I don't think
Odell's gay. I don't either.
Why is this a topic every time?
You're gay now.
You sent us that stupid ass meme in the group chat today.
Adele Beckham Jr.
Adele.
With Odell's hair and beats head full.
But anyway, Odell had a great game.
Fucking Eli had a great game.
They have the Carolina Panthers next week.
Philly, Washington, and the Giants are tied at 6-7.
And everyone has a better record in the division than the Giants.
If the Giants are going to do something, they need to beat Carolina this week.
And let me just make a prediction here.
I'm going out on a limb.
Yep, I'm going to go out on a limb.
I'm comfortable with it.
Greg Olsen is hurt.
And they got some more niggas banged up over there.
And I don't know if Carolina needs these last three games.
No.
I got them losing to the Giants this week.
I don't think that's far-fetched.
I got them losing to the Giants.
This is that type of season where the Giants end up winning the Super Bowl with a bullshit record.
Yeah, the Giants who should have beat the undefeated Patriots.
I think
we get our poetic justice this week, and we beat the
Carolina Panthers. They have to win that game
if they want to win the division.
And a lot of people are getting hurt out there,
but FanDuel,
you can play.
I had Eli last
week, so I did. Just for all the haters out there
on FanDuel. I did really, really, really well the haters Out there on FanDuel I did really
Still strong
Really well
Yeah yeah FanDuel
Fuck Uncle Sam
Still going strong
I don't pay my taxes either
Oh my god
I do and it just sucks
Alright FanDuel
Is the one week
Fantasy
You guys are fucking
Influenced
FanDuel is the leader
In one week fantasy football
With more winners
And more payouts
Than any other site
They're paying out
Over 75 million dollars
A week this football season.
League started just $1 and anyone can play.
Untext.
Would you stop, man?
Why don't you grow up one day?
Go to Fandu.com slash button to join my private league.
It's $5 to join.
First place wins $200.
Top 40 teams all win cash.
Special offer for new users.
For every dollar you deposit, Fandu will match you with up to $200 that gets earned
as you play.
That's a bonus of up to $200.
Offer is only good for the first 50 people that sign up for my league, so hurry up and
get there because the spots fill up fast.
I've won a decent amount of money from FanDuel this year, so I can't complain.
Yeah, I can't.
I don't think you said the name of your league.
Yeah.
Call word B-U-D-D-E-N. Yeah, button. FanDuel don't think he said the name of your league. Yeah, it did.
B-U-D-D-E-N.
Yeah, button.
Fanduel.com, first slash button.
Okay.
B-U-D-D-E-N.
Just double, triple check.
Still some weeks left.
Come play with us, Paul.
Yeah, we got a couple of weeks left until we get to the playoffs.
I want to say go Giants.
I want to say go Knicks, even though I'm petitioning for Derek Fisher to lose his job.
Yeah.
I want him out of here.
I'm done.
I've seen enough.
I've had it.
I can't figure out his substitutions.
He's got to go. I don't know out his substitutions. He's got to go.
I don't know what he's doing.
He's got one minute somebody's in the doghouse.
Next minute, they're the first person off the bench.
We can't start a game to save our lives.
Don't get me started, Knicks.
I'll talk about the Knicks later.
And yeah, I think that's it.
I think we have it.
I want to thank our lovely in-studio audience.
Round of applause for them.
That's from you guys.
Round of applause for them, the in-studio audience. I mean, them. That's from you guys round of applause for them
They're in studio. I mean they have all these cameras. I thought maybe they had sound bites that we could
Open his cape and have a fucking applause button. I wouldn't even studio audience in the fucking Cape
This is wonderful. I want to thank our great and amazing engineer Austin in there
We never thank Austin so you it's good to take all of them right L and ant for putting all these cameras in front of our
face and it's great to thank Alton right L and Ant For putting all these cameras In front of our face Thank you Ant Ant is great
Who put all these cameras
In front of our face
Ant
Where's Ant
Oh he's in there
Hey
And we're wrapped
Look at these people
They're so happy
That they get to
Fucking leave
I know
First smile
Filming people talking
So this was great
I will see you
Beautiful people
Next week
Same time
Same place On this podcast later i'm blowing this
joint i don't have anything but you are no i'm not blowing this hey yo that was nasty it's lit uh one